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#he is stupid and can be annoying (in a loving way)
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More security guard!simon thoughts.
He has to wear formal wear at work now. Which he hates- the man always feels constricted by a suit and tie in a way that will never be satiated no matter how much he adjusts his cuffs and the line of poor silk wrapped around his neck.
"For the love of Christ can you stop fidgeting? You're like a fucking child in church clothes." You peer over your laptop with narrowed eyes, letting your gaze focus on the way the fabric stretches over his muscles, buttons almost straining over his chest.
He says nothing. As usual.
"Maybe you wouldn't be so twitchy if you actually wore clothes that fit. You get paid enough to be able to afford a proper tailor.” 
His eyes snap up to your own and you can feel his scowl underneath that stupid mask and can’t find the smile that it brings to your face. Annoying your obliged shadow has become one of the few joys in your day. 
“Don’t need new clothes.” 
“Yeah sure, tell that to the button that’s fighting for its life right now. If that thing flies off and takes my eye out, I’ll sue.” 
“I’m sure you have a lawyer on retainer.” “Several actually. Along with a very talented tailor who has done beautiful work for the past three weddings I’ve had to attend.” 
“All for your father?” 
“And each blushing bride-that-was-once-to-be that still feels the need to send me a christmas card.” 
Simon feels his phone vibrate in the pocket of his slacks. Before he has a chance to reach for it- you confirm his curiosity. 
“You have a meeting with him Saturday morning, he’ll do your measurements and then have your clothes ready for you on monday. I’ve sent the address to you and I expect the next time you come into my office, you’ll look like a normal human being and not a weightlifter stuffed into his old communion suit.” The chair creaks under his weight as he leans forward, eyes narrowing into slits as yours don’t bother looking up from your computer screen as you continue to read whatever fucking proposal you’ve been glued to all morning.
“You know-” He rasps. “I work for your father. Not for you, don’t forget that.” 
Your gaze flicks up to find his own and he’s taken aback by the thin smile that stretches over your face and the smug twinkle in your eye that makes him realize perhaps the two are one in the same. 
“The appointment is 9 a.m, Riley. I’m sure your time in the military has made you quite the early riser.” 
Simon has learned you have an interesting way of always getting what you want, even if you end up hating it in the end. 
Which is how he finds himself standing before a wrinkled old man taking his inseam at 9:30 in the fucking morning- telling him that he should stick to muted colors for his ties from now on. Something like burgundy and dark greens because “she says it’s a complementary color for your eyes and I’m inclined to agree.”
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myojinn · 1 day
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You'll Be Safe Here // 2 - Sukuna Ryomen
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You'll Be Safe Here ... Part of Cursed Spirit!Reader Series Heian Era!Sukuna Ryomen (JJK) x Cursed Spirit!Reader tags: SO MUCH FLUFF, soft 'Kuna, comfort summary: After seeing you on the brink of death—there was no way you were getting out of his clutches now. How will he protect you if you aren't by his side? a/n: Since the first part got a lot of love, I decided to make a part 2! I'm also thinking about making it a Cursed Spirit!Reader Series, so like full on one shots and drabbles here and there.
First Part | masterlist soon hehe
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All he could see was red.
And all he could hear was the agonizing screams for help of those he terrorized. But nothing else really mattered to Sukuna Ryomen after he saw you on the brink of death.
He'd like to believe that he was a level-headed individual—never one to be consumed by trivial things such as emotions. But he knew, at that time, he was driven by pure unadulterated anger...
... anger at the good-for-nothing scum that hurt you.
He never thought he could feel this strongly about anything. But then again, meeting you had opened up his eyes to unpredictable things. And maybe that's why he lo-
"Ryo! Hey!" He let out an annoyed grunt at the disturbance currently seated to his right... on his bed... in his sacred chambers.
"For a woman who almost died you surely are loud," he grumbles. He crosses all 4 arms and turns to look away, closing his eyes once more. He made it clear he wanted peace. But having you around made it impossible. You poked his cheek repeatedly. "Thanks to your reverse cursed technique, I think I can go back to my temple today." He swatted your hand away from his face to which you (convincingly) yelped out in pain. His eyes have never opened so quickly as they did now. A look of concern washed over his face while you (convincingly) pretended to be hurt.
He was about to take your hand to inspect it—heal it even. But before he could do anything, you laughed in his face. The soft gaze transformed into an intense glare. "Oh man... you really do care for me, don't you, Ryo?"
He folded his arms again as he grumbled to himself. You knew just how to piss him off. But even though he seemed irritated, deep down he was glad that you were back to your normal self.
He was fucking relieved to have you by his side again.
His silence piqued your curiosity. Normally, he'd have a quip for every move you made. But he just sat there, arms crossed and taking in every effort you made to rile him up.
You huffed your chest out.
Truthfully, the whole temple raid fiasco already put a massive dent in your ego... and maybe your image in Sukuna's mind. That's what you thought at least. So you made it a point to act as if nothing happened. You weren't planning to soften up and thank him for helping you.
Hell, you don't even remember the last time you uttered an expression of gratefulness.
But he also made you do things you usually would not do.
"Ryo... I'm sorry." He sighs and looks at you. You couldn't tell what he was thinking. Well, you could never tell what the great Sukuna Ryomen was thinking... ever. But your gut told you that this moment was different.
Something had definitely changed within him.
"You don't have to apologize. I've dealt with your craziness for decades now," he says flatly. You slowly shook your head. "I mean... I'm sorry I couldn't protect myself and you had to clean up after my mess." He sighed even louder. He always did that whenever you said something "stupid" as he'd call it. "I told you that it doesn't matter. I am the strongest, aren't I? You should only worry about losing if you were in my position. Say 'thank you' and move on with it." Of course, he didn't exactly mean for that to be affectionate. It was coming from a place of arrogance. But, nevertheless, it made you smile.
"Thanks, Ryo. I owe you big time." He raises an eyebrow, a faint smirk forming on his face. "You owe me, yes." You meant it as a way to emphasize your gratitude, but you didn't really think he'd bank on it. After all, the strongest sorcerer never needed favors from you. He always said you'd come in handy one of these days and maybe today was finally it. "Eh? So... what do you want me to do? I'll do anything just don't take the statue in front of my temple. Do you know how difficult it was to steal that?" His face contorted in confusion. No one in history had ever made him do that face, but you. However, you weren't sure if you should be glad about that fact. But you were sure that you loved that statue to bits. Sure, it was weird, but that's why you love it!
"Don't be ridiculous. I don't want that ugly thing near me." "Hey! I'll have you know it's a significant part of my temple."
"Significantly ugly, yes."
You were about to retort when he placed a finger on your lips, shutting you up. "As I was saying, you owe me—and you can repay me by simply staying here at my temple." You wanted to speak, but he pressed his finger on your plump lips even harder. "And no, you can't refuse." He finally drops his hand. "I can't just leave my temple like that. It was trashed and-" "I have already sent servants to clean it up and restore it." "What about my offerings? What if someone comes up and asks something from me and-" "I also have separate servants stationed there to gather any messages, offerings, whatever—and relay them to you."
"Wha-" He groans in frustration. "Woman, I have taken care of everything if that's what you're worried about. Give it a rest, will you?" You were hesitant at first, but the look of worry on your face quickly changed into a mischievous smile that he (loved) dreaded to see. "My, my, Ryo... if you wanted me to move in so badly you could've just told me. Goodness, was this part of your elaborate plan? Sending sorcerers to attack me so I can live with you?" This ridiculous humor wasn't new to the both of you. He had heard insane things come out of your mouth and he would never bat an eyelid. But after joking about him possibly indirectly hurting you evoked a sickening feeling deep in the pits of his stomach.
"I would never hurt you," he said softly.
The devilish grin on your face was wiped clean and replaced with an apologetic smile. "I know... I just... I was kidding, you know?" "Joke about anything, but not about me hurting you." Thinking about others hurting you was enough to make him feel sick. But you suffering at his own hands? It made him angry. He realized he had gone silent and that you were just staring at him with that same smile from earlier. "What?" he asked coldly.
"You're a strange man. You act so gruff, but you say things like this?" she laughs. "That's why I love ya." He was proud to say that he had never encountered an attack before that would surprise him. But the words you just spoke had taken him aback. He was shook to the core. "Shut up... you're staying here. Got it?" "Heh... say that you love me too first~"
You were annoying, reckless, and incredibly childish at times. You pissed him off beyond belief. But he couldn't imagine his life without all of your insanity. He loved you... maybe. He still didn't know exactly what 'love' meant. But whatever it is that he felt for you... he'd do anything and everything if it meant keeping you by his side.
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cherryredstars · 20 hours
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First off, I love you.
Second off, I love you A LOT.
Okay so I’m losing my mind over a brain vomit where younger reader’s been harboring and hiding feelings for Miguel for the sake of being appropriate and it’s starting to make her frustrated like “fuck I’m gonna get actually fucking sick and vomit” because how much she’s crushing on him is CRAZY, so reader basically goes up to Miguel like “I can’t take this anymore.” Like reject me so I can move on type of thing. “ Do me a favor, and break my nose or something. Tell me to fucking go away” or something like that. My brain is burning.
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Pairing(s): Miguel O'Hara x fem!reader, John Price x civil!reader
Warnings: Fluff
A/N: For my baby, I LOVE YOUUUUUUU!!!
Edited (just for you boo)
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| Miguel O'Hara
If you look at him, you will actually throw up.
Like projectile 'make yourself a laughing stock' throw up. It's just the way your body- your stomach- reacts when you see him. It gets twisted, fluttery with a fix of butterflies and disgust. It's down right disgusting, inappropriate at the least. He's almost a decade older than you, yet here you are pining after him as if you're some teenage girl. You feel physically sick when you think about it for too long: throat contracting and your stomach hurting. You aren't sure which of your delusions are the cause of such a horrendous crush, but you promise you'll strangle it when you find out. There is simply no way this could have ever worked out in your favor. It's simply impossible.
Miguel O'Hara would never go for someone like you. Young and naive, haven't even reached the appropriate age to have a mid-life crisis (but you're sure this is the closest fucking thing to it). You know this, hammer it into your thick skull every day before you have to face him. Yet, it all comes crumbling down when you lay eyes on him. It takes less than a second for you to skip after him, a stupid, lovesick look flickering across your face as you help him with whatever he needs. You simply can't stay away, even if you tried. You always fall back into his orbit, gravity pushing you towards him until you're practically glued to him.
You're sure he must find it annoying. Probably relates it to something like babysitting. It's well known Miguel doesn't like to be bothered when he's working. But there you are without fail, sitting around on his platform entertaining yourself by playing with LYLA when you aren't out saving universes. You don't miss the way his eyes flick to you every now and then with some emotion you can't quite place. But if you had to guess, it's probably something close to exasperation.
In all honesty, you're tired of it.
Tired of the false hope you delude yourself into believing after every minor interaction. Tired of trying to justify your affection for the older man. Tired of feeling a bit of resentment towards yourself. You're just... tired. He must sense it when you walk onto the platform, judging by the look he shoots you.
LYLA is muted mid-sentence as he angles his body slightly away from his monitors and towards you, watching as you plop yourself in your usual spot. He waits expectantly for your usual greeting, brows furrowing with confusion when you do nothing but play with the elastic quality of your suit. You haven't even looked at him since you got in.
"Everything alright?" His all so familiar voice asks, making your stomach ache and the urge to punch yourself stronger.
"Yeah," you respond simply, silence lapping over the two of you.
Miguel waits patiently, expecting something more. But, you don't continue. Miguel hesitates for a moment before turning back around. His eyes study the screens once more, his finger hovering over the button to unmute LYLA before you speak up again.
"Can you like... degrade me or something?"
Miguel almost chokes on his spit when he turns around, not expecting you to say...that. You're still playing with your suit and staring at the floor, face painted with frustration. You look up when he doesn't answer, brows furrowed when your eyes meet his shocked face. You quickly divert your attention to his muscular shoulder, not really having the courage to face him head-on.
"Not like the... sexy kind. More like the heart wrenching kind." You clarify, not that it's any better for Miguel.
He turns to full face you this time, arms crossed over his chest as he studies you. The request doesn't really make sense to him. Why would you want him to do that? Is it some universe-exclusive culture he isn't aware of?
"Why?" Miguel asks, trying to recall your past interactions to see if they have something to do with your strange request.
"I dunno, just thought it might make it easier?" You shrug, your eyes flicking to his again and then looking towards the ceiling.
"Make what easier, exactly?"
Miguel isn't a fan of cryptic answers, but he tries to be patient with you. He watches as your face twists, unsure how to word what you're feeling. You let out a heavy sigh eventually, actually meeting his eyes and holding his gaze for once.
"To get over you."
The words cause Miguel to freeze, his body going rigid. You groan, hiding your embarrassed face in your hands and scrubbing ferociously. This is absolutely embarrassing. You wished a random portal would just appear under you, throwing you into another universe and far away from this particular moment in time.
You're so caught up in your embarrassment that you don't realize Miguel is walking over to you until he's crouched down in front of you. He pries your hands gently from your face, giving you the softest smile you have ever seen on him. His thumbs caress your wrists absentmindedly, doing nothing to calm your raging heart. It practically explodes when he leans closer, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. Your eyes are wide and dazed as you look up at him, trying to commit the curve of his mouth to memory.
"Now, why would I want you to do that?"
_____________
| John Price
You aren't exactly sure when it started.
But the moment you realized you liked John, you've started hating yourself. It feels wrong. Almost disrespectful in a way. You aren't particularly sure why, it just does. John Price is a nice man, a good man. A man that could be easily mistaken as your father if someone didn't look close enough. The man you had happened to meet and befriended one day after he had been so kind and gentle with you.
Not the man you should be liking and forcing your feelings on.
You're someone John goes to for comfort, someone he seeks out after coming home from a battlefield. Someone that's supposed to help him distress. The idea of taking advantage of that gently placed trust, of expecting something from John just because he goes to you for help, makes you want to throw up until you're nothing but a useless husk. It's shameful, eating you up on the inside until you feel like your organs are on the verge of failure.
So your solution: Avoid Johnathan Price like the plague.
Does it hurt seeing his texts flash across your phone screen, asking you if you're free throughout the week so he can spend time with you before he deploys again? Hell fucking yes. It makes you feel guilty as hell. But you try to justify it to yourself, reassuring that it's only temporary. That everything will go back to normal once these stupid feelings leave you alone and John Price goes back to being the sweet man you grab lunch with every now and then when he's home so you can catch up.
But of course, your plans never go accordingly.
You startle on your couch when there is a firm knocking on your door, your hands rushing to pause the telly to see if it was just a hallucination. But sure enough, that same steady knocking sounds again. You get up hesitantly, brows furrowed as you try to remember if you ordered take away or something. You peak through the peep-hole, hand planted on the cool wood of the door as you squint.
The alertness in your body dies away when the familiar frame of John greets you, only to tense up again. John Price is at your door. The same John price you've been avoiding for a week. The same exact John fucking Price you're practically in love with. Your hand slides down to the knob, gulping nervously as you unlock it and yank your door open.
John is standing there with his hand raised again to knock, decked out in his military gear. His hands drop to grip the strap of his vest, his mutton chops quivering as his face lifts into his soft smile. You blink up at him, feeling the knob warm under your hand and your heart slamming against your chest. Why did he have to be so handsome, goddamnit?
You step out of the doorway, silently inviting him inside. He accepts it, stepping in and examining the area out of habit. You close the door quietly after him, turning to face him as he turns to face you.
"Missed ya, love? Been busy lately?" He asks in that comfortingly rough voice of his.
You don't trust yourself to not choke on your words, scared he'll see through your lies. Instead you nod, letting out a weak hum that he returns in a more confident note. Your eyes drop down to his military gear, a frown slipping onto your face. Is he being deployed again?
As if sensing the underlying question, John's hands let go of his military vest and he stuffs them into the pockets of his tactical pants.
"Heading out tonight, just wanted to say goodbye before I go since I didn't get to see you this time around."
You feel a stab to your chest at his words, resisting the urge to lift your hand and smooth the pain.
"John..." You start hesitantly, your mouth going dry when he hums again. "Can you tell me you hate me? Or... or that you think I'm stupid or something?"
John tilts his head in confusion, brows furrowing as his lips thin. There is a silent question in your eyes, an aura of demand wafting from him that orders you to explain further. Your hand comes to rub your arm, socked heel digging into your ankle as you debate how much to tell him.
"It's just... I like you and I don't..." You sigh in frustration, turning your head away to glare at the wall. "I don't want you to think I'm trying to take advantage of how nice you've been to me or that I expect you to reciprocate how I feel."
It's quiet for a moment before John's chuckling fills the room. Your head turns away from the wall, meeting the sparkling amusement in John's eyes as he looks at you. There is a fondness there that makes your knees feel weak, your breath getting trapped in your lungs. John takes steady, reassured steps towards you, stopping when he's centimeters away. Your heart is practically lurching in your chest as you look up at him, watching as he slowly takes off his boonie hat.
Your eyes are wide as he places it over your head, chuckling when it slips down over your face before he readjusts it. He admires the sight for a second before he leans down, his facial hair tickling your cheeks as his lips press against the corner of your mouth. Your heart officially stops, your body dangerously close to swaying as he pulls away. You're in a daze as he pinches your cheek lightly, trying to call your attention away from the sparks lingering across your skin.
"We'll take about this when I get back, silly girl." He rumbles, his heavy paw landing on the top of his hat before he slips past you, closing and locking the door behind him as he disappears out of your flat. You're left in a daze as your shaky hands reach up and grasp the rim of his hat, the smell of him instantly invading your senses.
And when John reaches base and the lads pester him about where his usual hat is, he just shakes his head and replies that he left it at home for safe keeping.
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ysrjune · 3 days
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Okay another fic idea, Nerd!Anakin talking about something that the reader doesn’t understand but she just thinks he looks so cute talking about it that she doesn’t even ask questions, just sits there intently listening to every word because he has the prettiest voice and a face that matches, meanwhile he’s super passionate about the topic and doesn’t even realize she’s making heart eyes at him until she makes it abundantly clear
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“Oh! and then they started talking about how—” you tuned out whetever else he was saying since you didn’t even understand. all you paid attention to was the way his eyebrows would shift upwards when he remembered something he forgot to add, the way he spoke with his hands everywhere in the air, making circles or pointing to nothing.. the way he smiled everytime he recalled something someone said that made them sound stupid.. Anakin just looks so cute whenever he talks your ear off about the things hes working on or the conversations him and his colleagues had.
He really thought you were listening since you made eye contact and nodded your head along with a few ‘mhm’s and ‘yeah’s. the only reason he didnt notice you weren’t listening was because his eyes were darting around everywhere because he always needs to be looking all over the place when hes explaining something or else he ends up repeating himself and stuttering a lot. “Maddie said she was getting tired of Vixx talking about jars..” he all of a sudden went off topic. “I don’t really get her fascination with jars, its weird, but I never say anything.” Anakin adjusted his glasses.
“Ugh, how could I forget! Vixx told Mad—” there he went again. changing topics for the 5th time. not like you even noticed.. you thought he was still talking about writing and a bunch of other things he always babbles about. it took only a few moments for you to realize that he hasn't realized you were staring at him and not actually paying attention. for a whole minute, you tried to make it obvious but he just kept saying stuff. “Anakin,” you start off, and receiving his attention right away. “yeah?” he responds. “im not paying attention to a word you’re saying, you know that, right?”
he became a little embarrassed, looking down at his hands resting on his tummy. “no, I didn't notice.. sorry for talking so much about these things, but I—” you stopped him and took his hand. “its not like you’re being annoying.. its just that whenever you talk about these things, you look really cute.” she smiles, rubbing his thumb with hers. “the way you talk with your hands, the way you adjust your glasses every 5 minutes—gosh, its just.. I cant pay attention to what you're saying while you look so handsome doing it.” Anakin blushes, looking down at his sweatpants, not smiling (because hes still a little embarrassed, but relieved for the most part.)
“Oh.” he finally replied and looked over to you. “so you have a thing for me not being able to stay still. is that it?” he laughed and kissed your cheek. “well, I think it's cute that you make heart eyes at me while I'm talking about things you sometimes don't understand.” his hand travels to her hip, bringing her in closer while he rests on his side to match her position. “I love you, baby. thanks for letting me talk and not telling me to shut up just so you can make out with me or something.” he joked again and placed a loving kiss on your lips.
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
@vixxensvoid and @heartsforanakin MENTIONED 🥰🥰 (not paid actors in this HAW HAW!!)
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f1goat · 3 hours
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roommates ; lando norris + part four
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In which you have to live with your brothers best friend who you really don't like, Lando Norris, and his many 'girlfriends' for a while, but there's always a thin line between love and hate.
masterlist - playlist
lando norris x fem!verstappen reader tw: nothing much yet expect that Lando is a player + i don't proofread + smut will come next chapters!
When you wake up that following morning, you’re confused for the first few seconds about which room you’re in. This is not the guest room from Lando his apartment. Slowly the morning fussiness inside you clears up. The events from last night come back to you. Lando was screaming and making sounds all night, which caused you to check it out. He had a nightmare. You awoke him. After another stupid remark from Lando, you decided to watch some television with him - in his bed. Did you fall asleep in his bed? Shit. Carefully you look next to you. When you look and notice Lando, who’s still peacefully asleep, you realize that you did fall asleep next to him. 
The part that sits with you the most right now? It feels weirdly comfortable to lay next to Lando in his bed. It scares you. The wise thing to do is to get out of his bed, get back into your own and forget about this situation. Although you already know that Lando will bring it up eventually. You don’t want to leave his warm bed, but you don’t see another option right now. So, carefully you turn yourself around and move away from Lando. It’s only now that you notice how close you were laying to Lando. 
When you get away from the blankets and take your first move to get out of the bed, you’re quick to be stopped. It’s Lando who’s stopping you. He’s quick to grab your arm and to stop you from leaving his bed. “Not yet,” he softly mutters while pulling you back to himself. You notice how much deeper his voice is in the morning. Fuck, his voice is hot like this. Slowly you give in and move yourself back underneath the blankets. You know that this isn’t smart, but you can’t help yourself. Lando is quick to get you into his arms. It feels weird to lay into his arms like this, but in some even weirder way it also feels really nice. Lando wraps his arms around your body. 
You allow yourself to fall back asleep in Lando his arms. This is an one time thing, you keep reminding yourself. This can’t happen again. That means you better enjoy it for how long it lasts. Lando however tries to stay awake this time. When he notices your closed eyes and peaceful  deep breaths, he can only focus on how to get you in his bed again. He needs to experience this more often. Or even better, this should become the new normal. 
Eventually Lando can’t stop himself from falling asleep again as well. Before closing his eyes and giving in, he presses a soft kiss on the top of your head. You have turned yourself completely into his body. Lando feels his underwear tighten around his crotch. Feeling your body onto his own like this will probably be an image that he won’t forget about quickly. 
When Lando wakes up again, you have left his bed already. 
+++
“You’re actually insane,” Lando grunts annoyed, “Who in their right mind is going on a date with their ex boyfriend?”
“It’s not a date,” you sigh with the same annoyed tone as Lando was using earlier. 
“Not a date?” Lando asks you sarcastically, he almost laughs at you for the remark. “You’re going to a restaurant to have dinner with your ex boyfriend. Doesn’t that sound like a date to you?”
“Why do you even care,” you ask Lando with a raised voice. The annoyance is obvious in your voice. You know that Lando does have a point, but you can’t tell him that. Right? Earlier today your ex called you. Which seemed weird to you, since the last time you spoke to him was a couple months back during the break up. He told you that he still had some of your stuff which he wanted to give back to you and that he wanted to apologize. You have no idea what stuff he still has of you, but you can only hope that it’s the sweater you have been missing for a while. It was the most logical idea to meet up somewhere. The worst idea was to invite him into Lando his apartment and you also didn’t want to go to his place, so you settled for a restaurant. Exactly like your ex wanted.
“Why shouldn’t I care?” Lando asks you back.
“Because you don’t care about me,” you are quick to slap back. 
Lando can’t stop himself and lets out a loud laugh. It almost scares you. “You’re really stupid,” he tells you while laughing. 
“Great!” You tell angrily. Now he really crossed a line with you. “Stupid, insane, what else do you think of me?” You ask him with the same angry tone in your voice. 
Lando holds back a lot of words right now. It takes a lot from him to not start to scream at you what he actually thinks about you. What a stupid question. It’s not like he thinks that you’re insane and stupid, but he does think that about your idea of going to dinner with your ex. Normally Lando thinks you’re the most beautiful, smart, kind and many positive things more, girl he knows. Although he does think you’re a bit bratty, but in some way that only makes you more attractive in his eyes. He wants nothing more then to fuck all of that brattiness our of you, only for it to come back every time again. That would be the best. 
“Sorry,” Lando sighs with a more calmer tone in his voice then before, “I don’t think you’re stupid and insane, okay? It’s just that I think that this idea is pretty stupid and insane. He’s your ex for a reason, you can’t date him again.”
“You’re not deciding things like that for me,” you tell him angrily. After those words you turn yourself around and start walking towards your own room. You’re really not in the mood to stay with Lando any longer right now. An annoyed groan leaves your throat, it’s not like you think this is a date - although you have no idea how to call it otherwise. And it’s really not like you want to get back with your ex, but you do want to stay civil with him. 
“Don’t walk away,” Lando yells after you. 
“Why not?” You yell back, “So you can insult me even more?”
After those words you slam the door of your bedroom shut with a loud bang. Lando sighs when he hears the door slam. He almost slaps himself. How is it that every time things seems to be going alright between you and him, he finds a way to fuck it up? He thinks about following you and trying to apologize, but eventually it seems a better idea to let you cool down for a bit. 
In the mean time you’re making yourself ready for later tonight. You have no idea what to wear and how much time to spend on your make up. Of course, you do want to look nice, but you don’t want your ex to think that you did that for him. This is complicated. Eventually you pick out a dress and put on a light make up look. You still have some time left. Since you’re not in the mood to clash with Lando again, you decide to relax for a bit on your bed and watch some TikTok’s. 
When you do come back in the living room an small hour later, it doesn’t take long before Lando his frustrations comes back up again. He feels himself getting mad all over again. This time it’s caused by the way you’re looking. Why are you dressed this nicely for a date with your ex? He starts to doubt if you do want him back. It sure does seem like it. Lando can’t look away from you. Earlier today he called you insane, but now he’s pretty sure that he’s the insane one. All because of you. You’re making him lose his mind. 
You notice the way Lando is looking at you. The frustration is clearly displayed on his face. Is he still mad? You felt like you were calmed down about it, but seeing Lando staring at you like this makes your frustration come back as well. 
“You look good,” Lando eventually tells you with an annoyed tone. Before you can ask about his tone or thank him for the compliment (?), he’s already talking further. “Too good,” he adds.  You want to ask what he means, but when you see the notification coming up on your phone you decide to let it be. Your ex is already here. 
“I’m leaving,” you tell Lando, “Bye.”
Lando hurries himself after you when you walk away from him again. Quickly he grabs your hand. “Just be careful alright?” He asks you. 
His behavior confuses you. What does he mean with this? It’s just your ex, not some criminal. Or is this still because he thinks you’re stupid? “I wonder if I can,” you bite, “I mean I’m pretty stupid after all.” 
“That’s not what I meant,” Lando sighs annoyed, “Just call or text me if you need help.” After those words you’re quick to walk away from Lando. Everything about him confuses you. Fuck. Maybe you’re getting insane, Lando makes you lose your mind. 
 +++
This day won’t get any better. Your ex boyfriend did bring your lost sweater, but that’s the only positive thing so far. He’s going on and on about how much he misses you. At first it was kinda sweet, but now it’s just annoying. You didn’t break up with him without a good reason, so you don’t feel tempted to act out on his pleas. Not that he asked about getting back together, but you suspect that the question can come anytime. 
Maybe Lando was right, this is weird. You should have bought a new sweater instead of doing this. He did already send you multiple messages, maybe you should text Lando to help you out of this situation? You almost laugh at your own dumb idea. Lando will probably text back something in the lines of: “I told you so.” He isn’t going to help you with the mess you created yourself.
It’s a shame Max isn’t around. You try to remember why your brother isn’t in Monaco right now, but you don’t remember the reason right now. You do however remember that you really need to meet up with him soon, you haven’t seen him for a bit. 
“Don’t you miss me as well babygirl?” Your ex asks you. His questions shakes you out off your earlier thoughts. No, you don’t miss him. That isn’t the strange thing you’re feeling right now. It’s his last word. Babygirl. He never called you that before. He wasn’t one for nicknames like that. Since when is he calling you babygirl? It feels weird. 
It takes you a short minute before you can say why it feels weird. Normally it’s Lando who calls you babygirl. Shit. Is this really feeling weird because you’re used to Lando? 
“Please don’t call me that,” you politely tell your ex. He gives you a strange look. “Earlier you begged me to give you a cute nickname?” He asks confused.
“Yeah,” you sigh, “When we were in a relationship.”
His remark reminds you about why you broke up with him the first place. Yes, he was your boyfriend but often it didn’t feel like it. He was always too busy to make time for you. Which wasn’t that bad, until you noticed that he had time for everyone else. The romance just wasn’t there. When you thought about your relationship after the break up, you were quick to realize that it was a more friendly situation then a relationship. 
And maybe, really maybe, your meeting with Lando confused you as well and made the breakup happen sooner. When you first saw Lando, he made you feel something that you never felt around your then-boyfriend. But that will no one ever know.
“But I do want to get back with you in a relationship,” your ex confesses, “I can make more time for you, I can figure out some cute nicknames and we can be together again.”
“I think it’s a bit too late for that,” you carefully reply. Everything he just said, is nothing you want. You don’t want to spend more time with him, get his attention and certainly don’t want to be together again. 
“What do you mean?” Your ex asks you confused, “That’s what you wanted right? More attention, a more loving relationship?”
“Wanted yeah,” you tell him, “I don’t want that anymore.”
“Then what do you want?” He asks you frustrated.
“I don’t know what I want,” you confess, “but I do know that it’s not you, sorry.” 
You tried to tell him so polite as you could, but apparently it made him still angry with you. Fuck. This really was a bad idea. You notice another text from Lando popping up on your screen. Should you text him back? You unlock your phone and read Lando his texts.
Lando Norris: I meant it. Text me if you need me.
Lando Norris: How are things going?
Lando Norris: Babygirl?
Lando Norris: Just tell me if you’re okay
Since when does Lando care this much about you? It makes you shiver, but not in a bad way. That’s not a good sign. You want to reply to his texts, but your ex is already snatching your attention away again. 
“Who are you texting?” He asks you annoyed. Before you can answer, he’s talking further. “Is it your new boyfriend?” He continues to ask. 
“New boyfriend?” You ask confused. Does he think you have a new boyfriend? Why would he even think that. 
“Yeah. Maybe it’s that Lando guy, that wouldn’t surprise me.”
The venomous tone in his voice reminds you about the other reason you broke up with him. The jealousy. It’s crazy now you think about it. On the on hand you were having the feeling that the two of you were barely friends, let alone lovers, but on the other hand your ex was always jealous. You remember multiple fights between the two of you, even one about Lando. You almost laugh if you think about telling your ex who you’re living with right now, but you don’t tell him. You don’t want to fight. 
“I don’t have a new boyfriend,” you tell your ex.
“Then why won’t you want to get back with me?” He asks you angrily. 
You don’t like the angry tone. He has no right to act like this. “I don’t like you like that anymore,” you tell him annoyed, “and I don’t even know if I ever did.” The last part of your sentence wasn’t smart, but you feel yourself getting mad as well. 
“Bitch,” you ex hisses angrily. 
For a few seconds you doubt about your next move should be. Are you going to get into an argument with your ex or are you leaving? His words make you mad, but you know it isn’t smart to get into an argument with him here. Maybe this is the moment to text Lando, he offered to help you right? Maybe he can pick you up? 
“I’m going to pay for my part and then I’m leaving,” you tell your ex eventually, “I don’t think there’s anything else to talk about left.” In the mean time you pull out your phone again, you open your chat with Lando and quickly type something. 
y/n: can u come get me? I’m at Amù
You press send, but you have no idea if the text is actually being send. The screen has turned black. Shit, you didn’t even know that your battery was low. What if the text didn’t send? With an annoyed sigh you get up from the table and walk towards the server so you can pay for your part. Then without looking back at your ex, you leave the place. In all irony it’s also starting to rain. What a shitty day. 
Within the second that Lando got your message, he’s in his car. The restaurant you’re at isn’t that far from his place thankfully. He tries to get to you as fast as he can manage. Breaking multiple traffic laws in the mean time. 
“Come on let me take you home,” your ex says angrily. He’s standing outside with you, much to your annoyance. You don’t want him to be here. It’s pouring rain in the mean time. You realize that you must look awful now. Your dress is sticking against your body, your make up is probably ruined. You can only hope that there isn’t anyone around who knows your name or brother. The Instagram posts are already formed in your head. 
“No,” you reply.
“So you’re going to stand here stupidly?” He continues to ask. 
“I’m getting picked up.” At least, you hope so. 
When Lando arrives at the street from the restaurant, he’s quick to spot you. You and your ex. He has never seen the guy before, but he can’t take his time to look at him. He quickly parks his car across the street and jogs to you. When he looks at you, he realizes that you are all soaked. Before he can say anything to you, your ex is talking at you. Lando didn’t expect that your ex would be still here as well.
Lando takes a good look at your ex. He never saw the guy before. It’s been a while since you dated him, but Lando is certain that he never met him. He knows that Max wasn’t a fan of the guy either. 
“See!” The guy says angrily. “Fucking slut,” he continues with a raised voice, “you’re already dating someone else. And even worse, it is him! You lied to me.”
“We’re not dating,” you sigh. 
“Yet,” Lando can’t withhold his remark. “And don’t call her that again.”
You send Lando an annoyed glance. Is he here to help you or to make things worse? Even though, you can’t stop the weird feeling in your stomach after he just said that. Why are his words having such an impact on you? And why is Lando talking about dating you? Could it be possible that he wants to date you? You’re getting confused by what’s happening.
“Are you going to deny that she is a slut?” Your ex asks Lando. 
“Come on babygirl, we’re leaving before I’m going to lose it,” Lando mutters annoyed. He already feels himself getting angry with the guy in front of him. He gives you his hand, which you thankfully grab and wants to take you with him to his car so you can get home. 
“So that’s why I couldn’t call you that,” your ex remarks, “your new boyfriend has dibs on that name.” 
“Not my boyfriend,” you state again. 
Lando almost adds another ‘yet’ again, but this time he holds himself back from doing it. 
“Oh just for the sex then?” Your ex asks, “That does seem more fitting for a slut like you.”
Before you can even say something back, you’re already busy with pulling back Lando. What is going on? Lando has let go of your hand, only to use it to form a fist which can hit your ex boyfriend in his face. Fuck, he did actually punch him. You’re quick to grab Lando his arm and to try to take him with you. 
“Let’s go Lando,” you mutter, “He isn’t worth it.”
“He called you a slut!” Lando almost screams. “Two fucking times.”
“I know,” you sigh, “Let’s leave please.”
Your ex is furious right now. He’s balding his fists as well and seems ready to take revenge on Lando for his earlier punch. When you see the fist of your ex coming at Lando his face, you don’t think about your next action. You quickly pull away Lando, which caused you to stand in front of the upcoming fist from your ex. When you feel it hit your cheek, you let out a gasp from the impact. It’s not a hard punch, but you’re still shocked. 
Lando reacts within seconds. He carefully looks at your cheek, making sure that the impact wasn’t big. Softly he pushes you to the side before he grabs your ex by his neck. “I swear to fucking god,” Lando says with a voice so low it almost sounds dangerous to you, “you better make sure that you’re never close to her again, because the next time I see you too close to her, I’ll fucking end you.” You wonder what he means with that. “I’ll make sure everyone knows what a pathetic loser you are,” Lando continues, “and that you’ll never have a chance with a girl, or with a job or with whatever ever again.” He lets your ex go and watches him quickly walk away. 
“Are you alright babygirl?” Lando asks you worried. He is quick to get you into his arms and to inspect your face again. It doesn’t look to bad thankfully. 
“I think so,” you softly tell Lando. 
“Let’s get you home,” Lando replies, “I have some ice there, hopefully it will stop the swelling.”
When you’re seated next to Lando in his expensive McLaren, you remember your horrible state. You must look like a mess. Your dress is soaked, your make up is running all over your face and even worse, you also feel like a mess. 
“It turns out you were right after all,” you sigh.
“I wish I wasn’t.”
“Sorry that I dragged you into this,” you apologize towards Lando. 
“Rather be sorry that you ever dated someone like him,” Lando replies, “I’m pretty sure there’s someone better around for you.”
“Someone like?”
“Oh I don’t know,” Lando chuckles, “Someone who’s ready to punch another guy for you maybe.”
And again, Lando confused the hell out of you. 
a/n; thanks everyone so much for all the kind reactions so far 🫶🏻 love reading them 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
taglist: @booksandflowrs @hiireadstuff @likedbygaslyy @dreamsarebig @f1fantasys
@samantha-chicago @sweatrevenge5436-blog @queenofmanydreams @fionamiller123
@chezmardybum @f-1-lover-16 @formulaal @shellybee456 @sltwins
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@scarletwidow3000 @bokutos-babyowl @loloekie @lyannesworld @silentreader128
@oreosareara @gabotomo @princesspristins @leclercsluv @lina505
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@curbthatmf @m41-k1tt3n @f1fantasys @m41-k1tt3n @allywthsr
@curbthatmf @sheeeesthings
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leclerc-s · 3 days
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track one: secrets i have held in my heart are harder to hide than i thought
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series masterlist
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JUST THE TWO (THREE) OF US
alternatively: the first meeting between inés and oscar
2015
she had been the only girl there, which is something she was all too used to but at least of the people around her were her age. it got lonely after a while, but she wanted to be like her big brother carlos. she wanted to one day stand on the top step of a podium, not just in karting, but in formula 1. it may have been an unrealistic dream for a girl in motorsports but it was her dream and inés sainz was not a quitter.
“you’re helmet’s cool,” a blonde boy told her. isabella cursed at the gods when she had to look up at him. she gave him a bright smile, “thanks, it’s designed to look like-”
“like the spanish flag,” the boy pointed out, “i’m guessing you’re spanish?”
inés smiled again, “yeah.”
“i thought- normally-” he seemed to be struggling to find the right words to say, “most girls tend to have pink or purple helmets during karting. or, well, most of the ones i meet do.”
inés huffed, that question annoyed her. just because she was a girl didn’t mean she had to be obsessed with the color pink or purple.
“i wouldn’t be taken seriously if i showed up in a pink helmet. i already don’t because i'm a girl.”
“i didn’t mean you to offend you,” the blonde argued, “it was an honest question. i think the helmet is cool, even the pink ones.”
"make a fool of yourself yet?" a brunette boy questioned as he approached them. inés was left confused, was he talking to her? they had never even met before, there was no way he was talking to her.
the blonde scrunched his face up, glaring at the brunette boy, "i did not make a fool of myself."
the brunette turned to face inés, "did he ask you a stupid question?" the blonde was shaking his head behind the other boy, brunette boy turned around, "you do realize i can see you, right?"
the blonde blushed, "yes?"
"he ask why my helmet wasn't pink or purple," inés told the brunette.
"logan," the brunette said, smacking the blonde, logan, on the shoulder. "i wanted to make conversation," logan argued.
"so ask her about that move she made on you or about her race, not why her helmet isn't pink!"
"i learned it watching my brother," inés smiled. she loved talking about her older brother. carlos had achieved the dream inés was after, racing in formula 1, "well that was a while ago, but that's who i learned it from."
"oh!" logan realized, he turned to the brunette, "oscar, she's- her brother is carlos- the toro rosso driver."
"oh," the brunette, oscar said, "i like max better," oscar's eyes widened in realization, "i didn't mean- he's a good driver."
inés laughed, "it's okay, not everyone is going to like my brother. everyone is allowed to have their own opinion. i like fernando more than i like my brother."
logan laughed, "and somehow i was the one who made a fool myself."
"shut up," oscar muttered.
inés laughed and from that moment on she had found two of the greatest friends she could've ever had. well, oscar would become more than a friend, but they didn't quite know that yet. in that single moment one had quickly become three, suddenly she wasn't alone anymore. suddenly she had two friends who meant the world to her and she would do nothing that would cost her losing them.
perhaps if her parents had disapproved of the friendship things would be different but for some strange reason her parents liked both boys. of course, her mother thought logan was too american for her liking, but the boy had grown up in europe, so inés was confused on that front. oscar they liked because his mentor was mark webber. mark may not have had a championship, but he had been a damn good formula 1 driver, and an even better WEC driver.
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THE VERY FIRST NIGHT
alternatively: the first meeting between inés and charles
2018
if you were to ask inés about the very first time she met charles leclerc, she would lie and say she couldn’t recall, but she knew exactly when she met him. it was something charles still made fun of her about, occasionally oscar joined in on it. although, charles usually started to pout when inés mentioned that he had been crying when they first met.
she was 16 at the time, hving been to the monaco grand prix several times prior to this particular instance. which is why she couldn't fathom how on earth she got lost at the paddock. however, the tears that had clouded her eyes when she ran out of the renault garage were gone by now. instead she was faced with a bigger problem now, she was lost.
inés doesn't remember bumping into him, she remembers their conversation, and she remembers that charles also has tears in his eyes that particular day. why would he not? he had just dnf'd his home race, for the first time in his formula one career, inés probably would've cried too.
she had landed on the floor, a slight oomf falling out of her mouth. charles, at the time she didn't know his name, let out a soft gasp, and began rapidly speaking to her in french, "oh mon dieu. je suis vraiment désolé, je ne t'ai pas vu. je suis vraiment désolé. je jure que je ne t'ai pas vu. es-tu blessé? êtes-vous bien?" (translation: oh my god. i'm really sorry, i didn't see you. i am really sorry. i swear i didn't see you. are you hurt? are you fine?)
"i don't speak-" inés began. he cut her off, his accent present when he spoke, "are you okay? are you hurt? i am really sorry, i did not see you."
"i'm fine," she said, grabbing his hand, that he had outstretched to her, so she could stand up, "are you okay? you're crying."
charles brushed her off, "i am fine, a bit disappointed in my race today but fine."
“oh, i’m sorry.”
“it is fine,” he sighed. charles held his hand out again, “i’m charles leclerc.”
“well, charles leclerc, i’m inés sainz,” she greeted.
“carlos’s little sister,” charles realized. inés rolled her eyes, “yes, but i’m much more than that.”
charles laughed, and holy shit, that was all it took for inés to become infatuated with him. it was just a crush then, she would go as far as calling it a celebrity crush. inés was years younger than him, five to be exact, there was no way he’d ever go for her. even if he did, she was 16, people would criticizes the hell out of him for going for her. his career was just starting out in formula and for it to be plagued by something as small as this, inés wouldn't have it.
besides it was just a crush, one that would surely go away in a few weeks, like all of inés' other crushes, like the one she had mysteriously developed on oscar last year. that had gone away, or so she thought.
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YOU BELONG WITH ME
alternatively: ines' realization
EARLY 2020
inés had quickly realized two things about herself. one: her crush on oscar piastri had not gone away, infact, it had gotten worse. two: she did not have just a crush on charles leclerc. the crush with charles would never go anywhere considering he had a girlfriend. which in it's own way was devastating enough for her but of course someone like him would be taken. charles leclerc was kind, generous, and not to mention he was good looking. inés didn't care about his looks, that was all superficial, she liked the guy he was underneath.
with oscar she wasn't even sure he liked her back, which is why she was so scared to even mention to anyone that she liked him. what if he didn't like her back? what if he hated her after? what if their friendship was ruined forever over this? inés couldn't lose one of her two best friends. maybe she could talk to logan about it but logan also told oscar absolutely everything.
then, there was the matter of her family, anyone she ended up dating would have to be approved by her father and her brother. the family name and image always meant more to carlos sainz sr. there was no way inés was going to be able to be with them without her family meddling. so instead she sat taking refuge with the one person who never gave her any shit, fernando alonso. they often joked that she was more of his kid than she was her parents kid, that's how often he looked out for her.
her phone dinged, breaking her out of her trance that she had found herself in. even fernando's corny jokes couldn't crack her out of the slump she found herself in. the name that stared back her made her sit up, scaring the cat the was cuddled up near her. it meowed at her in disapproval and she shook her head ignoring it. the cat then decided it had enough of inés and jumped off the couch looking for comfort elsewhere.
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"eres terrible en esconder tus sentimientos," fernando told inés. the brunette girl turned to stare at him, "que?" (translations: you're terrible at hiding your feelings. what?)
"ahi nena, sabes de lo que te estoy hablando," fernando told her again. (translation: oh girl, you know what i’m talking about.)
“i actually don’t,” inés argued, “and i happen to be very good at hiding my feelings. i have my parents fooled.”
fernando laughed, “nena, a blind man would be able to realize what you feel in a split second.”
“well, they’re both blind then,” inés muttered.
“espera, que quieres decir con both?” fernando questioned. (translation: wait, what do you mean both?)
“i- podemos olvidar que tuvimos esta conversación?” inés questioned, abruptly standing from the couch, “i have to go- goat simulator awaits nando.” (translation: can we forget we had this conversation?)
“esto no se a terminado inés!” fernando shouted after her, “i figured out who the other person besides oscar is!” (translation: this isn’t over inés!)
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liked by oscarpiastri, fernandoalo_oficial, carlossainz55 and others
ines_sainz adventures in quarantine with papa nando and the new children
tagged: fernandoalo_oficial
maxverstappen33 i will be stealing one of those cats as soon as i am able to crash at nando's house.
ines_sainz we don't want you here? maxverstappen33 i don't care??
user01 she's quarantining with fernando? that's father and daughter!
user02 lowkey wondering why she isn't quarantining with carlos. they literally live together.
user03 she doesn't have to spend every living moment with him? she's entitled to live her life away from him. user02 no i meant like, i'm so used to seeing them together all the time. so it's weird that they aren't together.
oscarpiastri you got a cat?
ines_sainz yes? haven't decided a name yet but fernando was adamant on naming at least one after mark! fernandoalo_oficial nena, no mientas! [girl don't lie]
fernandoalo_oficial we're not keeping them all inés
ines_sainz uh, yes we are? fernandoalo_oficial inés, no los podemos tener! [inés, we can't have them] ines_sainz si podemos! [yes, we can]
carlossainz55 por esto decideste quedarte con fernando? [this is why you chose to stay with fernando?]
ines_sainz tu me dijiste que no podía tener un gato! fernando dijo que si! [you told me i couldn't have a cat! fernando said yes!] fernandoalo_oficial no es cierto! tu me dijiste que tenias una sorpresa y llegaste con 3 gatos! [that's not true! you told me you has a surprise and you showed up with 3 cats!] ines_sainz es lo mismo! [it's the same thing!]
user04 55 represent!!
user05 i fucking love this joke they have where fernando is her father. praying for her future boyfriend/husband
user06 nah cause imagine having max verstappen as your ride or die. personally i'd shit myself before breaking her heart. logansargeant this is logan sargeant erasure. ines_sainz yeah, max will bring the fists and logan will bring the guns logansargeant okay- that's not- user07 your honor my comfort duo!
patooward so can i kidnap them?
ines_sainz unfortunately dad (fernando) said no but you can get one named after you! patooward deal! can't wait to meet my tocayo! [namesake]
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¡taglist!
@minmira95 @lesliiieeeee @vroomvroommuppett @prongsvault @justtprachisblog @scuderiadevils @cataf1 @chezmardybum @formulaal @lilsiz @norstappenvibes @ironspdy @nikfigueiredo @hinamesgigantica @niniluvsainz @matchaverse @fakeikeastore @theseus-jpg @six-call @81folklore @emppusofi @luvsforme @nichmeddar @loloekie @luvpedro @donttouchthegnote
¡not taggable!
@ashlovestoread1411 @books-thingys-andstuff @nothanqks @yeanoskrrt @ale-522 @aandreea_2005 @Katness1
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¡leclerc-s speaks!
please ignore the typos and grammar mistakes, currently too tired to correct them. this is more of a look into inés' dynamic with fernando and how she first met charles and oscar. but also when she realized she had feeling for both boys. the sainz siblings have never been as close as they seem.
¡disclaimer!
this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!
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135 notes · View notes
vampzity · 4 hours
Text
snake bites | S.MG
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“the kisses ain’t free, you gotta pay with your body.” — kissland, the weeknd
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—✩ pairing: tattoo artist! mingi x f! reader
—✩ genre: tattoo artist au, smut, nonidol, one shot, explicit content mdni 18+, dom mingi, sub reader
—✩ synopsis: you decide to get your first tattoo with a well renowned artist in town, who is constantly praised for his detailed work. when deciding to get your tattoo in a vulnerable area, he can’t control his sexual urges and neither can you.
—✩ wc: 2.4k
[warnings]: *not proofread* nipple play, nipple sucking, edging, consented sex (wrap before you tap!), pet names (slut, love, doll, princess, baby), mentions of whimpering, fingering, oral (f receiving), soft to rough sex, he’s overall gentle with reader, slight choking, breeding kink??
a/n: i had this sitting in my drafts for a month just because i keep coming up with new ideas and never finishing the older ones, so here y’all go :))
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You flinched with every jab the needles took at your skin. Keeping your eyes clenched for a majority of the time, you dreaded how long it was taking to finish your tattoo. However, you can’t blame anyone but yourself for that. You decided to trust your dear best friend and have your first tattoo be on your sternum.
That was your first mistake.
Mingi noticed your discomfort as he tried to work through your tattoo, but the more you squirmed, the harder it was. It annoyed him just a bit but he’s dealt with way worse situations from other appointments, this was simply another cakewalk for him. Nothing he couldn’t get through.
“You doing alright, doll?”
You opened your eyes to meet his own, face red with embarrassment as he noticed the squirming coming from you. You shook your head up and down, quickly looking away from his low gaze on you. He sighed softly, continuing on with the bits of tattoo that he had to finish.
You kept your eyes focused on him from time to time, taking note of the tattoos that covered his arms and neck. You noticed his piercings, making you feel a soft attraction toward him. The rings in opposite ends of his bottom lip as well as the small studs on his ears. Black and silver rings covered his fingers, only enhancing the veins that appeared on his hands from before as you smiled slightly at his painted black nails.
Truth was as cold and nonchalant Mingi seemed to be, he was just as nervous as you. He’s don’t plenty of tattoos, seen plenty of women in various places and positions, yet none of them compared to you. In his eyes, you were a model. One he’d love to use for his tattoos.
“I told you, he’s super chill and he’s well known in town, why would he wanna ruin that reputation by harassing some girl?”
You rolled your eyes remembering Wooyoung’s words. You felt stupid for even assuming anything was bad about Mingi. He wasn’t a bothersome at all, he rarely even spoke to you throughout the process.
If you hadn’t noticed, he closely observed your body; the way your breasts were positioned even if you held them back, the way your body curved, the way it proceeded to squirm under his touch, how warm you might feel if—
Jesus Christ, stay focused.
Mingi quickly snapped out of his thoughts as he began to finish up the final touches to your tattoo, soon grabbing a mirror in order to hold it in front of you.
“What do you think?” he mumbled, quickly turning away from you so he could clear his thoughts.
You observed your tattoo closely, moving the mirror around to reveal areas that may be hiding from under the cleavage. You smiled at the reflection, feeling a small amount of relief wash over you as you began to set the mirror down.
“It’s beautiful, you do such lovely work.”
You watched as his hands began to clean his area. He began to take some of his rings off in order to keep it sanitary and placed them to the side. Oh how you adored rings on a man, how heavily it turned you on. You felt your face flush red as the thought of him. He was right in front of you, and it seemed morally wrong to feel about your tattoo artist in this way. Didn’t it?
“Thank you. I’m going to finish cleaning and closing up shop. It’ll be $120 in cash alright?”
You nodded at his words, digging into your purse for your wallet. As you continued to shuffle for a few minutes, a small amount of worry appeared on your face when your wallet was no where to be found. You continued to shuffle, grabbing the attention of the young man as he was locking the door to his shop. He turned to look at you, raising an eyebrow at the worried look on your face.
“You don’t have the money, do you?”
His deep voice sent chills down your spine, causing you to stop looking for your wallet as he walked towards you. You nervously shuffled once more through your purse, refusing to meet his eyes as he drew closer.
“Hey, don’t worry about it.”
He placed his hand under your chin, bending over to meet your eye level. His eyes hung low as he admired you, his tongue playing with the snake bite piercings on either sides of his lip. Your face flushed red as you noticed the few amount of inches between the both of you. He smirked at you, moving his hand from your chin down to your inner thigh.
“What are yo— shh.. listen doll, I know you’ve been eyeing me the entire time. I felt your heart beat every time my face got close to you.”
Your breath hitched as his words, feeling embarrassed over his observations on you. You looked away from his heavy gaze, making him pout slightly at your actions.
“It’s okay if you can’t pay, doll.”
He leaned in to place a kiss against your neck, making you gasp slightly.
“You can pay with your body… if you’d like.”
He continued to kiss against your neck, following it with small nibbles that earned a small moan from you. His hand made its way under your shirt and to your breast, placing his thumb against your nipple. He began to fondle it softly, continuing to kiss around your neck.
Quiet moans left your mouth as he used his thumb to rub against your nipple, slowly picking up his tempo as you expressed the need for him. A part of you knew it was wrong to hook up with your tattoo artist, but to your body it felt so right. It was something you wanted so badly, all you wanted was to give in to his delicate touch.
“Do you like that princess? Or do you want something different?”
He placed one last kiss on your neck before lifting your shirt over your head and placing his tongue against your nipple. He moved his tongue in circle motions, sucking softly against it as he held you still from squirming.
He teased you overwhelmingly as you struggled to keep your body from squirming under him. You placed your hands against his head, raking your fingers through his hair as he continued to suck at your nipples, leaving them red and swollen with pleasure. Your face grew red, body filled with heat as he slowly pushed you to an orgasm you didn’t think was possible.
He undid the button to your shorts and rested a hand against your stomach, lifting his head up to look at you.
“Is this alright with you, doll?”
You nodded, keeping your eyes away from him. He sat up slightly and placed his hand against your cheeks, pulling you to look at him.
“Look at me when I ask you something love, didn’t anyone teach you manners?”
Your eyes widened as you met his. They filled with lust as he smirked slightly to your embarrassed response. He pulled himself to you, placing his lips against your own as he began to undo his own zipper. You sucked against his piercings, receiving a moan from him in return.
Mingi pulled away quickly, spit hanging from your lips as he hurriedly pulled your shorts down. Kneeling down he placed two fingers against your heat, spreading it slightly to admire the sight in front of him. He licked up it softly, sucking against your clit as his tongue swirled around it.
“Mm, fuck that’s so good.” you let out in a breathless tone.
Your head fell back as you struggled to keep your composure with his tongue exploring between your folds. His lip piercings only pushing up against your clit softly. He placed two fingers against your cunt, slowly pushing them in to see how comfortable you’d feel with him doing it. You slowly opened up your legs to him, clenching around his fingers every time he pushed them further.
“More, please give me more.” you begged.
Mingi laughed at your request, nervous as he didn’t want to hurt you. However, he did as you wished.
He began to move his fingers in and out of you at a steady pace, all while his tongue danced around your clit. You moaned uncontrollably, arching your back slightly as he sucked the life out of you. With every moan you let out, he fastened the pace of his fingers, curling them slightly so they would hit your sweet spot.
“You’re such a slut. You’re seriously letting me fuck you like this, doll? So easily?”
Your hands clenched around the seat, eyes rolling back as he used his free hand to rub against your clit, two fingers still pumping in and out of you. Your moans grew louder and louder with each pump he gave, making his member rise slowly when it pressed against your leg. He tilted his head at you, watching you shake uncontrollably as you began to reach your high.
“M-mingi please.. I’m gonna..”
Did you really think he was going to let you off so easy?
He stopped, pulling his fingers out of you and placing them around your neck securely. You coughed a bit, as he dug his nails into your skin. Mingi gazed at you harshly as his free hand began to pull his pants down a bit, making you worry.
He’s tried long enough to be soft with you, but seeing how easily you fell apart under his touch awakened another side of him. His cock lingered in front of you, making you shiver at its girth and length. He rubbed the tip softly, letting out a gentle moan as he tapped it against your wet folds.
He looked up at your nervous expression, leaning over to place a soft kiss against your lips.
“We don’t have to continue if you don’t want to.” he whispered.
He smiled softly at you, his hand coming up to caress your cheek. You nodded at his reassurance, appreciating it but you were too far gone to just let this go. You grabbed onto his cock, his veins pulsating against your grasp as you shoved it into you. A loud moan came out of you, your walls clenching repeatedly around his girth.
Mingi’s eyes widened at tour actions, making him breath in slowly to get a hold of himself. He whimpered softly at how your walls squeezed him. He grabbed your hands, placing them over your head as he held them down. His pace began slowly, making sure you could get used to him before he dared to go at it.
“Fuck..” he groaned, throwing his head back. His eyes were low and full of lust as he focused his gazed back onto you.
“Let me know if I hurt you, okay doll?”
His pace was steady, feeling more and more aroused by the squelching noises that came from you. Your soft moans filled the room as he continued to fuck you. His hand came down to your breasts, fingers fondling with your nipples.
You let out a small cry of pleasure as his cold rings pressed against your nipples. Leaving a sweet stinging feeling against them. Without realizing, his pace sped up slightly, his cock now poking at your cervix.
“Mingi..” you mumbled, your hands holding onto his arms as he continued to play with your nipples. He raised an eyebrow to you, tilting his head as he fucked you relentlessly.
“Hm? You okay?”
You nodded, closing your eyes as you felt his cock roam inside you. His veins poked at your walls, making you whimper under him as he fastened his pace more and more. Mingi’s groans intensified, sweat dripping from his head.
The feeling that lingered in your stomach from when Mingi had edged you returned, making you arch your back slightly. You could feel your high building with each thrust he gave to you, making you yearn for him more and more.
“Please..” you mumbled, barely able to speak.
He leaned over you, kissing your neck softly as his mouth hovered over your ear.
“Please what, baby? Use your words.”
Butterflies soared in your stomach as he whispered to you, basically talking you through your high. Your face flushed red, whimpers still leaving you as he began to fuck you roughly. His cock pounded against your heat, spurts of precum dripping out of you as he hit your sweet spot.
“I’m.. please.. let me..”
You grip onto him tightened as your cunt squeezed onto his cock repeatedly, making him groan out in pleasure as he struggled to keep his pace. At this rate, he wouldn’t be able to hold out any longer if you continued to do that.
“What’s wrong, baby? You wanna cum?”
You moaned slightly at his words, nodding quickly as you rolled your hips to his fucking, desperate for relief. Mingi’s breath hitched, earning a loud groan out of him that caused his pace to stumble.
With that, his hands were now on the sides of the ink bed, allowing him to pound you roughly as he got off to your whimpers and cries. His groans filled your ears as he let out a breathless “fuck” over and over. Your body became limp as the put in your stomach grew faster than you could prepare for, allowing you to finish so suddenly.
“Fuck, you’re so warm.” he mumbled, feeling your cum coat his cock as he overstimulated your insides.
His hand rested a top your clit, rubbing it softly even tho he banged into your cervix like no tomorrow. You cried out, practically begging him to stop as your walls pulsated repeatedly.
“I’m gonna cum in you… and.. and you’re gonna keep.. it inside, okay doll?”
His head was thrown back as he spoke, signaling the need to let go. He didn’t even bother to see your response, wanting to get off so badly in you. With a few final thrusts you felt his cum fill you, some of it dripping from the sides of your folds. His pace slowed as his high came down, making him pull out slowly. A stream of cum leaked from his cock, making him smile at the beauty before him.
“Look at you,” he started, placing small kisses against your chest. “You’re so pretty when you’re completely fucked out.”
Your face reddened at his words, making you turn tour face away from him. His hand came up to your chin, turning you back to meet his gaze as the lust that once filled his eyes, was now filled with admiration. He kissed your lips softly.
“I mean it, doll. Let’s get you cleaned up now. Wouldn’t want them knowing how you paid for your tattoo now, hm?”
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garbinge · 2 days
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Secret's Safe
Jax Teller x Ortiz!F!Reader Juice & Sister!Reader 30 Day Fic Challenge
Word Count: 3k A/N: I had more thoughts to make this more of a Juice fic but then.... Jax LOL.
Warnings: All my fics are 18+ regardless of content. Mentions of blood, murder, death, assault, secrets, lying, trauma, abuse.
Word Count: 3k SOA Taglist: @drabbles-mc @justreblogginfics
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As you opened your eyes, they squinted quickly as the bright sun hit them immediately.  After blinking a few times, they tried to take in your surroundings. You were in the passenger seat of your car, the green signs on the highway were moving extremely quickly past you. It took you a minute to focus to see what was on the signs but soon enough you caught one that said Stockton 75 miles. That meant you weren’t too far off from where you were headed before you ran into the person at the wheel of your truck currently. That thought made you immediately snap your head over to see the blond haired man, hand on the steering wheel, white knuckled, his reaper hat holding back the oiled hair from the sleepless night prior. 
“You look like shit.” You spoke up, clearing your throat as you did, placing his jacket that he had draped over you on his backpack. 
It was the statement he had said to you when you ran into him at the truck stop last night. It was meant to be humorous but once he got a good look at you, he realized it held way more truth than he expected. The genuine concern is what brought him to load his Harley in the bed of your truck, and continue your drive out to Charming for you. 
Staring at the smile growing on his face sent you back to the days you were falling in love with Jax Teller. Back when he had the kutte without the weight of the office patches. 
“Didn’t want you to feel left out.” His voice sent a shiver through your body. It had been half a decade since you last saw him. It made you look him over more closely. His hair was longer, Jax always sported the long blonde look but this was a lot more lengthy than before, like something had happened that led him to forget to get it cut. As you looked at his beard, you thought maybe that was more the sign that things hadn’t exactly been smooth sailing for him. Your eyes moved down to his kutte, despite being new to you, the vice president patch on his right was dirty and worn. 
“You think we could stop somewhere for me to freshen up, I don’t really want to jump scare my brother.” You started to look through your backpack for your toiletries as you spoke. 
“Was planning to go to my place first, I know how you are with him.” His knuckles tightened on the wheel as the sentence left his mouth.  
You weren’t sure whether you were annoyed or comforted by his statement. You knew exactly what he meant, and it was unreal to you that despite the insanity of this situation, you could still fight about the same things you fought about then. 
“And how am I with him?” It was said in a way that you both knew the answer, but you wanted Jax to humor you, or maybe you just wanted to finally win this fight. You stopped your search for whatever in your bag and looked at him, eyebrows raised waiting for an answer. 
“Cautious.” He spoke the word immediately and you felt the argument practically line up in your voice like it was muscle memory. 
Keeping your relationship a secret was ultimately what broke you both up. And that’s what made you move back to the east coast where you and your brother grew up. 
Jax followed up his statement quickly before you could let out a syllable of your argument. “For the record, I get it now. I think I was still a stupid young kid wanting to flaunt my girlfriend around.” 
This was completely new to you. 
You looked him over again and despite the distressed look to it, you caught the fresh stitching. The patch was not only new to you but new to him as well. 
“I guess being the second in command makes you mature.” 
“Makes you see what people can handle, too.” His voice was firm as he spoke, eyes still on the road. 
“He wouldn’t have been able to handle it.” You agreed knowing your brother well. He was fun-loving, caring, hilarious, but he had demons. And if anyone else’s found their way to him, you knew it’d break him because he’d try so hard to take them on his own. Not saying Jax and your relationship was bad, it was surprisingly one of the better ones you’d been in, but you knew by having that, you’d be taking away the one thing that kept your brother stable. 
“He gonna be able to handle what brought you out here?” 
That snapped you out of your thoughts. Your eyes said it all but he didn’t even need to be looking at them to feel your shock and need for explanation. 
“I saw the blood in the bed of your truck when I was loading my bike. Thought I’d taught you better than to leave behind evidence.” 
“That’s mine.” It was so pointed how you said it. 
That made Jax’s brow arch in curiosity. As fucked up as it sounded, it was relieving to you to be talking to someone who wasn’t shocked by the possibility of mysterious blood or being on the lam from a crime. To be talking to someone who almost found curiosity in the thought of the situation. 
“I got mixed up with this group of friends out east.” He didn’t need to pry the information out of you, this was never an issue between you, sharing your thoughts with each other, talking through everything, was never the problem. Telling other people was. “Real party kids, you know, we were drinking, doing drugs, having a good time, until we weren’t.” You took a deep breath before getting into the depths of the story. 
“We were hanging out on the front porch of someone’s house, it was late, or early, however you wanna describe it, and someone rolled up, I guess someone brought a friend who knew some not so great people.” 
Jax had a feeling he knew where the story was going but he wanted to hear it from your account.
“I got stabbed.” This part of the story was so straight to the point compared to the rest. The context here didn’t matter much compared to the lead up. 
“Still missing the part where you got blood in your truck.” Jax was only saying this because you stopped talking and he knew there were pieces of the story missing. 
This was where it was hard to say what happened, partially because you couldn’t believe how stupid you were to let this happen to begin with, but also since it was traumatic. 
“They tossed me in the bed of the truck and left me there to die.” 
Jax’s grip got tighter against the wheel and he sucked his lips into his teeth, the anger rising as he thought about it. 
“Obviously I didn’t.” You tried to lighten the mood. 
“And you decided to come back here.” Jax nodded, fully understanding the story. 
“After I killed the person who left me to die. Who just happened to be the one who stabbed me.” Again, the words came out with no lead up, just the point. 
Jax’s eyes darted to you when you said it. Funny enough, it was what he expected the situation to be. An ex got abusive, it ended badly, or maybe an accident when you were drunk, but the thought went out once you ended your story. 
“Did–” He was beginning to ask how you handled it, you knew that was what he was wondering. 
“I handled it. No trace. I was coming back here just because I needed my family, needed a familiar face.” 
“Sorry this familiar one looks like shit.” Jax was now trying to lighten the mood. 
“It was an unexpected one too. I wasn’t even going to come to the clubhouse, was going to go straight to a motel and then right to Juice’s.” 
“No love lost, I see.” He let out a laugh. 
“More like too much love lost.” You leaned back in the seat and placed your feet up on the dash. 
__________
You pulled back the shower curtain and wrapped the towel around your body, turning to wipe the fog off the mirror and stare at yourself. The shower brought some life back to your face, but the only thing that was going to make you look well rested was rest. 
As you opened the bathroom door, you started to talk loud, calling out and asking if you could take a nap but your words got cut off as you slammed right into Jax whose hand was raised to knock on the bathroom door. 
“Sorry.” He chuckled and stabilized you by wrapping his hands on your bare arms. 
It was at that moment that the both of you realized this was the closest you’ve been in years. You felt Jax’s breath on your face, it smelt like coffee which made you smile inside. Something about the domesticity of him in his home drinking his morning cup of coffee. 
“I was coming to see if you wanted french toast or waffles.” There was that domesticity again. 
“Jax Teller, who used to burn eggs, is offering me french toast or waffles?” The water was still dripping down your skin as you spoke. 
“Alright.”  his head twisted to the side as he laughed and then looked back at you, his finger now on your shoulder catching one of the stray drops before retracting his hand and looking back at your eyes. “They’re pre-made in a package from the freezer, was just gonna toast ‘em, not get all fancy.” 
“I’ll take both.” 
“Both it is.” He was turning around to go back into the kitchen and you felt your breath exhale the moment he turned. 
You both never got a chance to eat together, he came back to ask you about coffee or orange juice and ended up in his bed. Breakfastless and clothesless. 
As much as it broke you to sneak out, you did it. Sneaking out like this reminded you of what you were trying to leave behind, but now, you had to remind yourself of how safe you felt being here. With Jax. You stepped into the kitchen and saw the toaster housing the burnt french toast accompanied by the burnt waffle in the slot next to it. You laughed and grabbed both, they’d still be better than the junk you were eating on the road. Grabbing a pen you left a note on the table for him. 
Thanks for everything. Taking your burnt breakfast and heading to my brother’s. See you around. xx
With that, you were leaving. It was late afternoon now, meal times didn’t really have a time clock when you were traveling with no sense of time. Driving to your brother’s at this point was like muscle memory, you didn’t have to give it any thought and before you knew it you were there. 
One thing about Juice was that he’d always welcome you with open arms and no questions. Okay some questions, but none that ever felt forced or pointed. 
“Hey! What are you doing here?” He was so chipper and genuinely excited to see you as he opened the door. 
“Refugee looking for shelter.” You smiled back and brought him in for a hug. 
“Come in.” Juice pushed the door open completely and with his free hands moved to grab your bag out of your hand. 
Immediately you felt like a piece of scum in his pristine apartment and you hadn’t even had the grime of the ride on you anymore. “You live here or just showcasing the place?” You teased him. 
He sucked his tongue to the roof of his mouth and made a clicking noise. “I like to keep things neat.” 
“I know we lived in the same house together for years.” You looked at the art on the walls, the only sign that someone made a home of this place. There were pictures of you both, pictures of Juice with your childhood dog, pictures of the club, SOA flags and Harley memorabilia. 
“Hey I have this in my bag.” You smirked and moved to grab your backpack from his hands, he still hadn’t dropped it anywhere likely because he wasn’t sure where it’s place was in his sterile home. 
You pulled the photo out from the side pocket, it was wrinkled and folded, the complete opposite of his. 
“It’s before I started sponsoring, when I just worked at the shop.” He smiled, grabbing the photo from your hands. “You brought me and the guys homemade turkey sandwiches.” 
“You always left your lunch at home.” You shook your head at the memory, “I hated coming by with just food for you.” It was true, you’d make a sandwich for the 4-5 guys that were working that day. It became a sort of bit, the guys were crossing their fingers that whenever Juice was working with them, he’d forgotten his lunch. It helped that you came with a bag of chips and a 6 pack along with the sandwiches. That’s what the picture was. You, Juice, Jax, and Lowell eating turkey sandwiches and washing it down with a beer. 
“Everything okay?” Juice’s voice got solemn as he spoke, still looking down at the photo. 
“It is now.” You nodded with a smile. 
“You need my help with anything?” This time his voice raised an octave, in a more happy way. 
“Just a place to crash.” 
“Second room’s all yours.” He waved his arms in the direction of the room because he knew you were well aware of where it was. 
“I’ll be sure to disinfect my bag before putting it down.” You teased him with a slight push and made your way to the room that used to be yours years ago. 
By the time the two of you caught up, you leaving out the big details that you easily shared with Jax, it was nighttime. He brought you to the clubhouse, excited to share your arrival with the guys, and just happy to have his sister back in town. 
You were plopped on one of the picnic tables as some of the club sat around you, laughing about some joke Tig just said, most of you laughing at him more than with him. Your beer was nestled in your hand as you sipped slow on it, not really feeling like getting drunk much these days. 
“You’re nursing that beer.” Happy’s gruff voice alerted you. It was soft enough that only you heard him. 
“Long drive cross country, it’s making me more tired than anything.” You explained, it was partially true. 
But Happy saw through it. 
“You killed someone.” 
If you had been drinking the beer you would have spit it out by the abruptness of his comment. 
“Excuse me?” You frowned and looked at him, you probably met this member a handful of times but you didn’t know him like you knew some of the other crew. 
“I can tell, you got that vibe.” He nodded his head, his voice extremely raspy. 
“That vibe?” You raised your brows. 
“Yea, that life ain’t hold the same innocence vibe.” He answered you quickly. 
“How would you know what that vibe is?” You were playfully asking now, knowing that it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if anyone here knew what you did, but it wasn’t something you were just blurting out. 
He laughed at that and didn’t answer the question. “Don’t worry your secret’s safe with me.”
“You freakin’ out our guest, Happy?” Bobby was walking out from the clubhouse, followed by Juice with a new beer for you despite you still not having this one nearly finished. 
“Happy?” You frowned and looked at Juice as you grabbed the beer. 
Happy grinned and lifted his shirt up to show his abdomen littered with smiley face tattoos and suddenly with no explanation at all, every question you just asked in the last 5 minutes was answered. 
“Oh.” You grabbed your nursed beer and finished it off quickly before moving to the new and cold one. 
Before the conversation could continue, the sound of two motorcycles cut the sound of voices out completely. Your eyes moved to see who it was, even though based on who was here now, the options were limited. You caught a glimpse of his long locks when he took the helmet off. Instinctually your eyes jumped to the movement of the person who came in behind him, tall and burly, and despite him still being far back in the shadows, you knew it had to be Jax’s friend Opie. With ease, your eyes moved back to Jax as he brought his hand through his hair. It was oily again, or still, which had you starting to wonder what his day looked like after you left. 
“Jax!” Juice called out from behind you and it brought you back to the current moment as Jax approached, taking off his riding gloves with a big smile on his face. “Look who's back on the west coast.” Juice was beyond excited to tell Jax, the thought of bringing back the days when the group of you would hang out clearly driving his enthusiasm. 
“Yea, I–” Jax was about to say how he ran into you the night before, you knew it, but your eyes went wide and your head shook just ever so slightly as a hint to let him know you didn’t want Juice to know. Luckily you were behind Juice on the picnic table so he wasn’t able to see it but Jax did clearly. 
What wasn’t clear was how he was taking your action. He seemed a little upset, but also he had a slight smirk on his face. 
“Yea, I see that. It’s good to see you.” He changed his sentence, his eyes staring at you. 
Behind him was Opie who clearly was aware of what happened between the two of you and was trying to hide his smirk from the awkwardness between you and Jax that only you three hopefully could feel. 
Jax took a step forward and you moved off the picnic table to stand. His arm raised to bring you in for a hug. 
“Thank you.” You whispered and squeezed him a little extra. 
“No worries, as always, secret’s safe.” 
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It’s A Love Story…
Colt Seavers (The Fall Guy 2024) x Reader
-Part 2 to Coffees, Plural-
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this story except for Sheila and the reader insert!
Author’s Notes: Background is summarized on part one! I tried to get Colt as in character as possible, but it’s hard to perfectly capture him 🙃 also, this is not edited!! idk if it’s cringe or cute, but if you enjoy the story, please leave a comment! I’d love to see what you think!
Content/Content Warning: nothing serious! Just some suggestive themes and some smooching at the end :)
Stay tuned for part 3!!
Reader’s POV
Looking back on it, I think my crush on Colt Seavers really did develop on day one. But little did I know, it’d only get stronger.
Dramatic, right? It’s not wrong, though…
After bonding over his affinity for coffees,- yes, plural- that first day, I knew I was down bad. At first I thought it was just stupid butterflies- I was prone to falling fast- but as I got to know him I realized it was far more than just stupid butterflies.
There was just something about him- a lot of somethings, actually. It was- it is- his puppy eyes. His coffee addiction- affinity, sorry. His sense of humor, the way he comes preloaded with sarcasm at any given time. The way his legs bounces when he’s nervous, bored, excited, or all three. His perfect smile. The way he pays attention, the way he cares…
I could go on. And on. And on. And on. But you get the idea.
And oh, that voice… that’s enough to-
Sorry. Anyways.
Over the past nine-ish months we’ve gotten pretty close. I’ll meet him for lunch on set, we’ll meet at each other’s trailers just to hang out, sometimes we’ll find ourselves down by the beach… it’s just nice.
Also, over the past year, I’ve rekindled my friendship with Jody Moreno. We hit it off immediately after I arrived, as if no time had passed at all since the last time I saw her. We’re close again, just like we were back in college, which is also really nice.
She knows full well about my little (big) crush on Colt. I didn’t even have to tell her, she just burst into my trailer one day a couple months ago, accusing me by exclaiming “You like Colt!”
She’s lucky I love her so much, because otherwise her incessant teasing and blatant attempts at setting us up would be just a little annoying.
Today I was on set, watching Colt get thrown around while being on fire. I couldn’t help the way my heart tossed and turned with worry while watching him do his stunts- yes, he’s a professional but that doesn’t mean these crazy stunts scare me any less. He teases me about my worrying, but I can see the way that sometimes the thumbs up he’ll send the director’s way isn’t genuine.
By the fifth take on this stunt I could tell he was beginning to grow weary. Thankfully the stunt coordinator takes mercy on him and tells him to take five after the crew extinguishes him.
He gets up and looks around before setting his eyes on me. My face grows warm as I watched his face light up when he recognized me.
“Heya stud,” I say by way of greeting when he approached me. “How you feeling?”
“Never better,” he responds with a trademark thumbs up.
“You know that that’s still cheesy, right?” I ask. He gives me the thumbs up pretty much anytime I ask him how he’s feeling, and I tease him about it every time.
“Yeah, but you love it,” he shrugs playfully. I swear, he purposely lowers his voice sometimes. Not that I’m complaining, it’s definitely not unattractive…
“Maybe a little,” I concede with a small smile. “Anyway, I brought you some brownies for lunch,” I said, taking a brown paper bag out of my satchel. “They’re from that bakery we tried a couple weeks ago.”
“Aww, [nickname], you shouldn’t have!”
“Oh don’t you worry about me, I ate like three for breakfast,” I say sheepishly. They really are that good, the baker must be putting crack in them with how addictive they are.
“So you’re telling me I can’t offer to split one with you on the beach?” he asks, bringing out the puppy eyes- at least, more so than usual given that he always has puppy eyes.
“Now how can I say no to that offer?”
“You can’t,” he says with a cheeky smile as he starts walking back to set, noticing the stunt coordinator waving him over.
I wave goodbye to him, and then sneak over to the directors chair to say hi to Jody.
“Aw, look at this blush!” she greets when I meet her, pinching my cheeks. “A certain stuntman got your panties in a twist?”
“Why do I subject myself to you?” I groan.
“Because you love me.” She’s not wrong.
“How’s the scene coming along?”
“Perfectly, I’m just torturing your boyfriend until he agrees to go to karaoke with the rest of us tonight. I think he’s still embarrassed from last time,” she laughs.
Last time he drunkenly sang that live story song by Taylor swift and was straight up bawling midway. Everyone laughed and has a recording of it, and holds it over his head.
“You’re pure evil, Jody Moreno, and I very much aspire to be you,” I say, watching Colt get flung into the rock again.
“It’s an art, what can I say,” she shrugs, before grabbing her megaphone.
“Oi, stuntman!” Colt sends over a thumbs up before she can continue her sentence. “I feel like we can salvage that last take…” she smirks.
He groans, out loud. And even from like 25 feet away, I can hear it. And I don’t like how hot I find it.
“All I need is a double thumbs up,” she chides. The rest of the crew is also turned his way, with a lot of snickering coming from our little peanut gallery.
He meets my gaze and I mouth “please” with as much puppy eyes as I can, hoping that he can read my face from where he’s at. He scowls in a comical way, closes his eyes, face dramatically tilted toward the sky before finally looking back at us- at me- with two thumbs up.
“Perfect, that’s a wrap!” Jody exclaims, cackling maniacally after she’s turned off the megaphone. “See you at nine, Seavers!”
He gives a little sarcastic wave, but a smile takes over his face as he meets my gaze again, and I can’t help the way my heart skips a beat when I send a coy wave his way.
***
Colt’s POV
You know that feeling, when your heart starts pumping and you start smiling all stupid, when you’re telling yourself that you’re a dipshit but it’s because she’s just too perfect?
Yeah. That’s y/n to me. Anytime I’m near her I have to remind myself to breathe. It’s like the movies, like some sort of rom com that she loves so much, except better. So much better, if you ask me.
Honestly, I’ve had a crush on her since the beginning. Man, I just used the word crush. For some reason I can hear that dipshit Tom Ryder’s asshole voice in my head, calling me a “pussy bitch”- a personal favorite “original” term of his- for using the word. But I don’t care, because how else do you describe… butterflies.
You know what it is? It feels like a Taylor Swift song. Like a Love Story, if you will. And baby, I just want her to say yes.
I think I need help.
I still remember how flustered she got when I accidentally scared her when I met her that first day.
We had both been running late, me more so than her due to coffee(s- yes, plural) related reasons- it’s an affinity, not an addiction.
I had went to say hi while she was in the middle of doing her own makeup, I think she got bored waiting for me, and she jumped like six inches, and accidentally dragged her makeup brush down the side of her face.
I felt so bad, the look was gorgeous, very northern lights- esque with greens and blues and purples- but at the same time, I was too stunned to speak. Y/n is gorgeous, as it turns out, with or without makeup, and even with a steak of yellow going down her face that would make anyone else look like they had a jaundiced scar.
Thankfully, I still don’t think she noticed my dumbfounded disposition as she ran to the sink.
But the thing is, she’s not just drop dead gorgeous. She’s also the sweetest, cutest woman in the entire world. Her sense of humor- the self deprecations, the sarcasm which perfectly matches mine… how flustered she gets when I’m driving her around, the way she gets cold and smuggles into my side when we sit in the trunk after a night swim, shivering but still trying to talk with her teeth chattering. The way her hand in mine makes me feel like a big man… oops. Pretend you didn’t hear that last part- or read that last part, or whatever.
Also, the fact that she doesn’t make fun of me for being a Swiftie.
At least not as much as the others do.
Which frankly, isn’t saying much, now that I think about it.
Anyhow, even after being thrown against a rock four times in still not ready to wave the white flag at Jody. I told myself I would never step foot in the karaoke bar again, not after last time…
Sorry, I just got war flashbacks.
<Author’s Note: these war flashbacks sound a lot like Love Story by Taylor Swift>
But then of course, she just had to be on set. She’s got me wrapped around her little fingers, bringing me brownies and calling me a stud. The last straw was the puppy dog eyes from across the set- I have no idea how she hasn’t figured out the effect she has on me. Or maybe she has, and is just an evil genius. I don’t really know.
Not that I need to know, because if the words “Swan dive off of a bridge” fell from her perfect lips I’d probably do it.
Looks like I’m going back to karaoke…
***
Reader’s POV
“Come on, y/n! We’re gonna be late!” Jody yells as she raps her knuckles on the door of my trailer.
“I’m not coming out! I look ridiculous!” I yell back. I had let her pick out my outfit, and she picked out a short black romper with a tight bodice and flowers printed on it. I don’t think it suits me very well, and I’m seconds away from wearing a t-shirt and jeans. I don’t feel like doing my makeup, so that’s one less thing to worry about, at least.
Wait, why is it so quiet now? Where did she go?
“Y/n, this is your last chance,” she warns, apparently having took a quick break from peer pressuring me into coming outside.
“I’m. Not. Coming. Out.”
“Fine,” and for some reason, I can hear the smile in her voice. That’s never good.
“Y/n?” a new, softer, lower, more gravelly voice comes from outside my cabin. For fuck’s sake.
“Colt?” I ask, rubbing my temple.
“Yeah. Can you please let me in?” he asks so sweetly, it would be impossible to say no.
I mentally punch myself before unlocking the door to my trailer, and of course, to no one’s surprise, he looks perfect. Jody must’ve scampered off, because now it’s just me and him. He’s wearing a white tank top underneath a completely unbuttoned black short sleeved button down, black slacks and white shoes. His usual necklace, the gold chain with the small medallion, accompanies the look. His hair is tousled, and I don’t even think I have to mention how pretty his face is- that part’s a given.
“I, um, you-,” he stutters, and then stops to compose himself. “You look beautiful.”
My breath hitches in my throat. The thing about Colt is that if his words aren’t sarcastic- and you can tell when they are- they’re so, so genuine. And he just called me beautiful.
“I- thanks- so do you-“
Did I really just say so do you? By the smile creeping on his face I think I did.
“I’m sorry, I’m being awkward,” I say with an awkward laugh, proving my point. “But you look really handsome.”
“Aw shucks,” he says, his words slightly sarcastic but the blush on his face very real. “Now cmon, we don’t want to be late?”
“But this romper looks so stupid,” I say, drawing out the last word. And you look so stupidly attractive, I think. What if I just kiss him? What’s stopping me from telling him how I feel about him?
“Permission to touch you?” he asks, ignoring my comment.
To… touch me? Fuck, I’ve read far too many romance books. His stupid voice can turn anything into a double entendre, I swear it.
He raises a brow when I don’t answer.
“Uh, sure?” I don’t really know what he’s up to.
“Great,” he smirks, and before I can realize what he’s done he has me slung over his shoulder, like I weigh nothing more than a sack of potatoes. He shuts my trailer behind him as I hit his back, telling me to let me down, but the bastard just starts humming “Anyway You Want It” by Journey.
“Asshole! Put me down!” I yelp, but he just holds me steady by my legs as I flail behind him. Curse his actually useful muscles.
Finally, he sets me down in front of his truck, reaching out to steady me. My hands fall on his chest. His very well defined chest. Which perfectly matched his very well defined back.
Colt’s POV
My hand is on her hip, I tried to steady her. But shit. I wish I could just squeeze it, maybe while I’m…
Puppies dying at the end of a movie, Colt. Dead puppies.
We stay there a moment, in front of my truck. Everything in me wants to just tell her how I feel and press her into that truck with kisses that tell her I’m never letting her go. But now doesn’t feel like the right time. But when is? Why wasn’t it at her trailer?
And I just had her over my shoulder too…
Alright, come on, dipshit. Get it together.
But of course, her small hands are on my chest…
Focus.
“You’ve got two options,” I tell her, removing my hand from her hip and holding up a two to make a point. “We go to karaoke and I drive, or we go to karaoke and you drive.”
I can’t let her not go. She loves karaoke, and she looks beautiful regardless of the lies she tells herself.
“Do we have to go? We could just stay home and watch a movie?” she diverts. A smile is playing at her lips though, so at least I know she’s not uncomfortable.
“Tell you what. You can drive,” I start, which is a great start because she hates when I drive and use my stunt skills. To be fair I just do them to show off and get her to slide into me on the long bench. It’s fun, sue me. “We’ll go, and if you still don’t want to be there after my song, then we’re going to come straight back here, get under some blankets and watch She’s All That.”
She’s All That is her favorite movie, in part due to the main plot but I also think she identifies with Freddy Prince Jr’s sister in the movie. She’s a sarcastic makeup/hair artist in the movie, and who do I know that sounds like that? Yeah, exactly.
“I don’t like how well you know me,” she says, biting into her lip as she pretends to mull over what I suggested.
“You’re right, you love how well I know you.”
“Okay, fine,” she says, fully smiling now. “You were serious about me driving?”
“As a heart attack,” I tell her.
‘YES!’ I’m shouting in my head, because I nailed it! Getting a smile like that out of her is the best prize you could ever get, I swear it.
I think the only thing that could be better is knowing that she’s mine.
But that’ll come, eventually.
***
Reader’s POV
Ten minutes later we’re at karaoke. I truly cannot with Colt Seavers, the only person who could make me feel pretty in this stupid ass romper.
He spent the car ride talking to me about his day, which was adorable, the way his nose scrunches up when he remembers something funny, and intermittently singing along to the song on the radio. I love when he lets me drive his truck, I feel like I can taken care of him for a minute and just listen to him. Oh, and I also don’t feel like I’m seconds away from dying because unlike him I don’t stunt drive. Although, I will say, I don’t mind when he does those stupid circles because it always presses me up against his side, which is never a bad place to be.
Right now Gale, the producer who always seems to be drinking a Diet Coke, is singing Toxic by Britney Spears. She has an incredible voice, and the entire bar is rightfully captivated by her stage presence.
“Hey! You made it!” Jody says, walking over to Colt and I. We’re sitting in a booth, on the same side, both slack jawed watching Gale.
“No thanks to you,” I say with an innocent smile.
“If you say so,” she smirks. “Thanks for getting her out of the trailer,” she tells Colt.
“My pleasure,” he says charmingly, squeezing my arm.
“Alright, I’ll leave you two lovebirds to it. Phil Collins is calling!” she dashes off to the stage as Gale is almost done with her song. She must be cued next.
“I see what you did there!” Colt comments after her. Collins and “calling” sound similar with her British accent. I must be blushing-the whole “lovebirds” thing-, because he looks over at me, amused, saying “What? Do I have something on my face?”
I go to answer, but all of a sudden Jody is singing “You’ll Be In My Heart” by Phil Collins, and I immediately pull out my phone to video. Jody has an incredible voice as well, and I love listening to her sing.
Once she’s done, she runs over with Sheila in tow, who must’ve just got here. They lift me up out of the booth- I’m starting to get sick of being man handled- and push me towards the stage against my protests. Colt is laughing- jackass- but all of a sudden “Any Way You Want It” by Journey is playing and I’m singing.
Now, I have a mediocre voice, but the thing about karaoke is that you could sound like a rabid raccoon but if you have a song that everyone knows, you’re the shit. And also, I don’t really care what anyone thinks of me, so I just went for it.
So naturally, I was the shit. Everyone was singing along, and I couldn’t stop looking back at Colt, who was smiling so big as he sung along. He’s so, so cute. Finally the song was over, and I gave a dramatic bow. Colt met me by the stage, holding a hand for me to grab as I jumped down.
“You were incredible,” he compliments sweetly.
“Thanks,” I say, looking up at him, my hand still in his. His touch is electric, I can feel his heartbeat. His lips are ever so slightly parted, and I’m sure mine are the same… if he would just lean down-
“Is there a Colt “See-aye-vers” in the house?” the emcee asks into the microphone, completely mispronouncing Colt’s last name.
“Fucking Jody,” he mutters. We both turn to see Jody literally cackling by Sheila.
“Your turn!” I say gleefully, pointing at him so the emcee can see him.
“Mean,” he pouts jokingly, before going up on the stage and taking the mic from the emcee as I Was Made For Lovin’ You by Kiss begins to play.
And he’s staring right at me as he sings it.
Well shit.
That’s the thing- apparently all of my coworkers are extremely talented singers. Maybe it was a requirement? Who knows.
Colt is no different.
And the thing is, I’m severely attracted to his voice. The gravelly, yet low and softness of it. I love listening to him talk. Like, he could read the nutrition label of a soup can and I would be completely locked in.
His singing voice? A whole other story. Between the rasp and the range, I could literally lose it right here and now. He sounds incredible.
And he’s looking right at me as sings about being made for lovin’ someone and about that someone being made for lovin’ him.
And I don’t want to assume, but by the way he’s looking at me…
I think that someone is me.
Colt’s POV
Kiss?! Are you shitting me?! That’s the song Jody picks for me?
I should’ve kissed y/n right then and there, I’m thinking as I head up to the stage.
And then there it is. A Kiss song. Not just any kiss song, the Kiss song.
I can work with this.
At this point, I don’t think I can handle her not knowing how I feel anymore. Not knowing if she feels the same way. Fuck “eventually.”
So you know what? I’m going to do my grand romantic act, just like in the movies. And I’m going to sing this damn song, to her.
And if she still doesn’t notice, I’m going to go down there and kiss her until we can’t think straight. Asking permission to before, of course. I’m not a jackass like Ryder.
So I sing the damn song, and my eyes are on only one, singular person. My one, singular person.
And she’s mouthing the words right back to me, her gaze never leaving mine.
I don’t even hear the applause as I jump down the stage, Tom Cruise style, landing right in front of her. “Hey,” I say, trying to sound cool.
Naturally, my voice comes out as a squeak instead.
She doesn’t say anything, just takes a step closer.
“I, um…”
Of course now is the time I decide to choke on my words. Not when I’m singing in front of thirty people, literally never before. But now. Damn it, Seavers. See-aye-vers. Fucking adhd. Shit. Wait.
“Colt?” she says, her voice only loud enough for me to hear. I’m all too aware of the beginning of “Can You Feel the Love Tonight?” behind me.
“Yeah?” I whisper. Looking down at her.
“Kiss me?” she asks, and it’s the last straw. My lips crash against hers before I even realize what I’m doing, and it feels like fireworks. Like the whole world could end but it would be fine because her lips are against mine.
***
Reader’s POV
This isn’t happening. There’s no way this happening.
Those are the only thoughts running through my head as I look at him. That song… it was electric. Coming from his voice, as he stared into my soul? I can barely think.
I don’t notice anything, nor anyone. Nothing at all, except for him.
So when he jumps down from the stage in stuntman fashion, looking me in the eyes up close… I can’t help it. I can’t wait any longer.
And now his lips are on mine, as Jody sings more Phil Collins, but I don’t even hear it.
I’m sure we’re going to get teased for it, but I can’t help it.
Not when the only thing I can sense is his soft lips on mine.
So when we finally release, there’s no question about what’s going to happen next.
“Colt..?” I breathe.
“Yeah?” he asks, parted lips already puffy and pink from our kiss. Gorgeous.
“Can we go outside?”
He doesn’t even answer, just grabs my hand and starts walking to the door. Thankfully we didn’t buy any drinks, and have no tabs to settle, because quite honestly I don’t think we’d have cared.
Finally, we stop in front of his truck. I’m smiling like an idiot, and he’s smiling right back.
“Colt, I really, really like you,” I tell him.
“Y/n, I really, really like you too,” he says.
And that’s all that needs to be said as he crowds me against the truck before pressing a kiss to my lips that leaves me giggling.
“What’s so funny?” he teases.
“Everything,” I tell him, before threading my fingers through his hair. He shakes his head bemusedly before kissing me again.
I couldn’t ask for anything more, anything more at all. Because in the words of his favorite song, this is a Love Story and baby, I will always say yes.
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pit-and-the-pen · 1 day
Text
Three- Eris
I love this song and it is so Eris coded to me. This is apart of my mini-series inspired by this album
Listen to the song here: Three (i could not get the mini player to work, so if you know how to pretty please let me know)
Warnings: Angst, minor injury to reader (burn), self-deprecating thoughts (eris to himself)
WC:
Finally catching up. For the first time I see an image of my brokenness utterly worthy of love. Maybe I’ve done enough. And I finally see myself, through the eyes of no one else. It’s so exhausting on this silver screen, where I play the role of anyone but me... I only want what’s real. I set aside the highlight reel and leave my greatest failures on display with an asterisk worthy of love anyway.
Eris had been acting strange to say the least. It was rare for you to go a day without seeing the red haired male but it had been a whole week now. Your mind kept playing back to something you might have said or did the last time you saw him. 
You’d gone on a walk with the few smoke hound pups Eris was beginning to train. They were all still tripping over large paws and each other and the sight made peals of laughter fall from your mouth. More than once you looked over and saw your best friend staring at you, although he denied it every time you questioned him about it. Shrugging it off you had kept walking until the sun was starting to set. You turned to face him, to say goodbye, and a pup had run straight into you. Your back would have hit the wet forest floor if it wasn’t for Eris’ strong arm wrapped around your waist. His eyes were wide as he looked down at you, full of softness you couldn’t place but made something in your chest flutter all the same. He had just barely made sure you were standing upright before he called the pups back in and practically ran away from you without saying goodbye. 
You couldn’t think of anything in that interaction that would explain Eris’ absence. Finally deciding you’ve had enough of this, you marched to his study. You didn’t knock as you entered, remembering to lightly open the door. Having learned the hard way that he would violently jump with any door being opened or closed harshly. He didn’t look up from his desk as you stood in the doorway. It took you clearing your throat three times before his eyes even glanced up. 
“Hello.” Was all he said before he turned his eyes back down, his brow slightly furrowed. 
“Eris-”You started, a slight whine in your voice. you heard the sigh that left him. 
“Please. I’m busy. We can go on a walk later.” He was hardly looking at you when he said it.
“Okay.” You conceded. Already knowing he wasn’t going to find you later. 
Days went by and you still haven't gotten the chance to talk to Eris. It was starting to annoy you, making your skin itch in an uncomfortable way. You had gone to a deeper part of the forest to clear your head, a part on the trail that only you and Eris ever traveled. It was starting to get colder as the sun drifted lower in the sky and your lack of jacket made you decide to head back to your room. There was no point in going down to the dining room, to sit with the other members of the court and listen to their dull gossip without Eris beside you. 
You were far away as you walked back, mind absorbed with thoughts of how you could get Eris to talk to you. It was only that fact that stopped you from noticing the body you had walked into. You didn’t have to look up to notice that familiar smell of cinnamon and pine, to know it was the very same male you had been daydreaming about standing in front of you. 
“Eris.” You couldn’t stop the smile that graced your face. 
“Hi little doe.” The nickname made your heart skip a beat. And you blushed. “I didn’t think I would run into you out here.”
“Because you’ve been avoiding me.” You half-teased. His face fell slightly. 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Please,” You took a step away from him, “Don’t pretend I’m stupid.” 
“I would never.”
“Then don’t lie to me and say you haven’t been actively avoiding me. It's been weeks and I’ve hardly seen you. I miss you.” You said the last part softly, trying to tamp down the anger at the male in front of you. He sighed. 
“I've been busy.”
“You’ve never been too busy for me before.”
“I wasn’t High Lord back then.”
“You spare a few moments from your duties to see me?”
“Please. It’s not like that.” His voice held an edge to it, he wasn’t telling you something. 
“Eris, what’s wrong? Did I do something, did I say something? What happened, I’m sure we can talk it out.” Your words are spilling out of you a mile per minute. 
“Stop. Just stop.” He growled, a pained edge to his voice. It broke your heart to hear.
“Eris please, just talk to me. I want to hel-” A yelp broke from your lips as he grabbed your arms, an involuntary action to the step you took towards him. Both of you were too caught up in the argument to realize the tendrils of flames that had risen from his fingers, the tendrils that had bitten into your skin. He quickly released you, the force throwing you to the ground. His face held nothing but pure horror. When you looked down at your arms you saw the angry red handprints that, despite that they were already healing, would scar. He took a step towards me before he stood completely still. I pulled myself up, tears running down my face. 
“I’m so sor-”
“Figure your shit out, Eris. I’m just trying to help you.” It had been so long since Eris lost control of his powers. Not once had you been the source of that anger. You didn’t look back as you walked towards the forest house. 
You weren’t surprised when you heard a faint knock at your door a few hours after you returned from the healer. A heavy scented balm applied to your forearms, wrapped in pristine white banageds. The burns weren’t bad, you had seen Beron leave worse on his sons. You untangled yourself from the heavy blankets you were curled up in and went to find Eris at your door. You tried to fight the urge to tuck your arms behind your back when you saw his eyes drift towards the gauze wrapped around them. 
“I just wanted to come to check on you.” He muttered, taking a step closer to you. You took a step back, flinching slightly as your arm brushed up against the door frame. Eris wore an expression like you had slapped him. He didn’t look like he was breathing anymore. “I’m sorry. So incredibly sorry.” Was all he said as he turned around, leaving you very confused in the doorway. You didn’t bother calling after him, ignoring the way your body called for you to. You wanted nothing more than him to wrap his arms around you. The two of you had only gotten into minor squabbles. Nothing like this, nothing that stopped you from talking to each other for long periods of time. 
Weeks scraped by and you saw very little of Eris. The manor might have been big but not big enough to explain the rare glimpses you caught of Eris. You didn’t even get the chance to tell him about your upcoming trip to the spring court. One of the healers had their yearly harvest of Hyssop, an important ingredient for making cough medicine that refused to grow in the colder climate of the Autumn court. It was far more potent when used fresh so every year you would make the trip to Spring to collect a few bushels. In return you would stick around for a few days to help with patients. There were always so many in the spring court that any extra hands were appreciated more than any amount of gold. You gathered a few of your lighter dresses to take with you, packing a few more than necessary. And walked to the border, winnowing near your friend's cottage. 
Spring was your favorite court to visit. The flowers and fruit that grew filled the air with a sweet fragrance. The pollen always took some time to adjust to, as did the warmer weather. It was nice to visit but after a few days you would always find yourself missing the rich colors of Autumn. 
Your friend was bursting with joy as she opened the door for you. Your eyes wide as your spied the small babe she was carrying on her hip. 
“Gods, we have a lot to catch up on it seems.” You smile at her before reaching out to pinch the small boys cheeks. “Hello little one.” You cooed, a bell like laugh was your response and you went to hug your friend. 
Cecilia had been busy in the last year since you had seen her. She filled you in on the goings on of the small apothecary she ran. You two had just finished hanging some mint up to dry when you heard the front door open. 
A tall fae male walked into the kitchen. You had met him once or twice during your visits, Greyson, you think his name was. Cecilia gave him a love sick smile that he returned. He said a polite greeting to you before he walked over to your friend's side and gave her a short but sweet kiss on the cheek. They seemed to slip into their only little world, only seeing one another until the baby babbling snapped them out of it. You shoved down the small wave of nasty jealousy at the way they looked at each other. 
“I’ll go check on him.” Greyson said when that little coo turned into a piercing wail. Cecilia’s eyes tracked him until he disappeared from the room. She deflated slightly when he ducked around the corner. 
“So…” You started. A not so subtle way of asking for an explanation. She blushed. 
“We’ve been friends for years, you remember, I was always hoping for a bond to snap and then one day he ran into me while I was picking herbs and it was history from there. We never expected to have a baby so quickly, they’re so rare, but we were overjoyed.” She went on and you realized you were gripping the knife you were chopping herbs with a little tighter than needed. You hummed along to her story. Unknowing what to add to it. 
“And how’s your love life?” She elbowed you teasingly. She was fully aware of your feelings for a certain redhead. You scoffed and went back to stripping off leaves from their stems. 
You left two days later, arms full of all the herbs Ceceila had given you. She gave you a tight hug as you winnowed back to your home. You hummed a light song to yourself as you walked back to your room, feeling lighter than you had in the past days as you arrived at your door. 
Your humming died out as you saw your bedroom door wide open when you knew for a fact you had locked it behind you. Hesitantly, you peaked around the edge of the door. 
“Eris?” At the sound of your voice, he turned to face you. Relief etched into his perfect face. He was across the room in seconds. He wrapped his arms around you, picking you up off your feet. 
“You were gone. I went to check on you and half of your stuff had been packed,” He said as he put you back onto your feet. His chest was heaving rapidly. “I thought you left.” 
“You were too busy ignoring me for me to tell you.” You continued on your path putting away your clothes. Not looking at Eris. You suddenly felt his hand wrap around your wrist which you gently but firmly removed. 
“Doe, please. Look at me.” He pleaded but you only scoffed. 
“Now I’m worthy of your attention. I have been away for three days and now you want to pay attention to me. It’s been over a month since you so much as talked to me, Eris.” You turned to face him, hands on your hips. Almost begging him to try to deny it. 
“It’s not like that-” He ran his hands through his hair, messing up the long locks. 
“Then what’s it like?” You challenged. “You won’t talk to me even though I know something is wrong.”
“It’s nothing.”
“See!” You threw your arms up, a bit dramatic but you didn’t care right now. “You know you can tell me anything.”
“Not this.” 
“Eris, what is so bad that you can’t talk to me about it.” Your tone softened a little at the clear struggle on his face. He didn’t say anything and you wanted to scream at him. You didn’t instead you just told him, “If you won’t…Just get out.”
“Doe. Please”
“Don’t, I’m exhausted Eris. If you truly won’t tell me, I can’t help-”
“I love you.” He blurted out. Both of you froze. When you met his eyes you knew he was telling the truth. He took a deep breath, he opened his mouth and then closed it again. He finally spoke again. “I’ve been in love with you for years. And then when-” He caught himself. Stumbling to shut his mouth. You took a step towards him. Hand reaching for his. 
“When what Eris?” You felt your  heartbeat pick up. 
“When I felt the bond snap,” He looked at your  face, you only nodded for him to keep talking. “You’re sweet, kind, and good. Gods are you kind. Kinder and gentler than anyone I could ever deserve. So I thought if I hid the bond that there would be a chance it never snapped for you. That you would be free to find someone who is…better than me.” 
“Eris-”
“I’ve done awful things to people. I’ve hurt people and backstabbed and betrayed so many of the closest people to me. I mean look at Lucien. He can’t even live in his own court.  Look at Mor. Even you have scars that tell me you deserve anyone else but me.” His voice cracked on the last word. Shaking with unshed tears. You slowly trailed your hand up his arm, leaving it to rest on his cheek. He closed his eyes tight but didn’t pull away from your touch. 
“I love you so much and couldn’t believe the mother would let me have a mate as good as you. So I hid like a coward because the thought of it was too much.” He whispered into your palm. You brushed your thumb near his eyes, a silent plea for him to look at you. 
“You aren’t that person Eris. I’ve never seen anything but the good you’ve done. The horrible things that this court has made you do, is not who you really are. Lucien is alive because you got him to spring. Mor is alive because you made your brothers stop, you’re the one who called for Rhys and Azriel that day. But look at all the good you’ve done, just to the court since you became High Lord.” He was crying now, trembling under your words. “Females can walk around unafraid, something they have never been able to do in this court. Children laugh in the street, full and happy. All because of you. Eris you are good, and kind, and oh so deserving of love.” He only shook his head, like he could stop the words from finding his ears. “And I will tell you every second of every day for the rest of our lives until you believe it. I love you Eris. I have loved you for as long as I’ve known what love is.” You spoke clearly, words hanging in the air as Eris finally opened his eyes. 
“You love me?” 
“Long before I ever felt the bond,” His eyes widened. “It was silly, just a look across the room during a ball. And I could never think of the right way to tell you. But I knew before then that there was no one else I would rather spend the rest of my life with. It’s always been you Eris.” He turned his head to give your hand a small kiss. Then he slid to his knees, clutching that hand like it was solid gold. 
“I might never deserve you, but I promise to love you the best that I can.” You smiled softly at him before you sunk down, eye level with him. You threw your arms around his neck pulling him into a crushing hug. 
“You’ve always deserved me.” You whispered before you pulled him in a kiss that made the world freeze around you.
Tagging the Eris girlies/moots as usual: @daycourtofficial @nocasdatsgay @secret-third-thing
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theoriginaluzisimp · 2 days
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Dabi with an S/O that has a bad scar
(that he gave them)
Uh...Dabi with gn!reader and stuff.
Warnings: burns ig, stalking and kidnapping, Dabi is a little bitch, swearing and choking.
Also pls don't reblog my stuff! Or repost shit like that. Anyways enjoy :D
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Dabi was never good with showing his emotions.
He tried to avoid talking about anything of the sorts as much as he could.
So when he felt a strange feeling in his chest when he saw you, a hero, he didn't recognize the love he felt. He thought of it as hatred. Which ended up in him attacking you.
At first, you dodged all his attacks and hit him with your quirk at least once. You were doing pretty good for yourself. Until your colleague got attacked by Toga, distracting you.
Dabi took this as an invitation to strike. With a flick of his wrist, he sent a wave of fire towards you, and you weren't able to dodge in time. The fire struck your neck, leaving you with a third degree burn.
Your colleague managed to get away from Toga, and get you to safety.
Dabi felt wrong. He felt a sinking feeling in his chest, like he made a mistake. He didn't know why. After all, when did he ever do anything wrong? He had this deep urge to see you. Maybe it was to finish the job. To burn you alive. Maybe it was to play with you a bit. But eventually, he gave into the urge and tracked your agency down.
You were sitting in you office, unfortunately finishing some paperwork. Rubbing your tired eyes, you lean back in your office chair. Being a hero was a great job, but you hated the paperwork. Especially when Hawks dumped all his baggage on you, ditching you do go do something stupid.
You heard a tap at your window, interrupting your thoughts. Looking up, you see a dark shadow perched on the window seal. You squint to try and see it better, and you'd be lying if you said you weren't scared. You hesitantly step forward, reaching out to open the window.
Dabi gets tired of waiting for you to open the window, so naturally, he breaks it and climbs in. You can see him clearly, and you feel your heart beat faster. Your mind was racing. There was a villain in your hero agency. You ready your quirk, ready to strike first and ask questions later. You raise your hand, when he suddenly grabs it.
The villain tilts his head, looking at your fist in his hand. He feels the strange feeling in his chest again. This annoys him. Deeply. So he breaks your wrist, causing you to yell out in pain. Your secretary hears this, and runs in. She freezes in place, scared out of her mind. You quickly stand up, ready to fight back.
Only to find out the villain has fled.
Weeks pass. No sign of Dabi. Well, to you that is. He keeps getting this...feeling..in his chest. He hates it. And the worst part? It happens any time he thinks about you. So he decides to stalk you.
Watching you in battle from afar, watching you in your agency, he even managed to find your house. Unfortunately for him, you're not an idiot. You close your curtains at night and lock your doors and windows. Damn.
Dabi eventually gets tired of this feeling. One day, he's on a misson with Toga. Toga is rambling about some random girl from U.A, the one that looks like Kirby. The thing that catches his attention, is the way she describes her feelings for the girl.
And everything she says, is how Dabi feels about you.
Toga suddenly mentions that she once considered kidnapping the girl. Dabi stops in his tracks. Thats it. Thats how he can face this fucking feeling in his chest. So he breaks into your house when your asleep, burns it down, waits for you to fall unconscious due to the smoke, and takes you back to the League of Villains hideout.
Only, he keeps you to himself. The others don't even know you're there. Dabi ties you to the bed, and waits. Then he gets tired of waiting after ten minutes. So he pinches your cheek, hard.
You jolt awake, your eyes wide. Dabi looms over you. "Morning." He finally says. You growl at him, and trash in your bonds. Dabi rolls his eyes, leaning against the wall. "Thats not going to work." He says, very unamused by your antics. You continue to ignore him. Dabi walks over to the bed, and grabs your jaw. His grip is firm, and almost hurts.
"Easy, creep." You spit back, trying to squirm away from his grip. Dabi tightens his grip on your jaw, but you won't let him win by wincing. "What the hell do you want?" You growl, narrowing your eyes. Dabi ignores your question, and lets his hand travel down to your neck.
You're wearing a turtleneck that successfully hides your scar. Annoyed by this, he rips your shirt off. Dabi ignores your discomfort.
His fingers lightly trace around the scar, making you squirm, wanting nothing more but to be away from him. Dabi grips your shoulders, making you hold still. He smirks. "Cute scar." He murmurs. "You really shouldn't keep it covered. It makes you look better." His statement makes you glare at him.
"You think I want people to see that? Its ugly." You bite back.
"Ugly? What makes you think that?" Dabi lightly squeezes your throat, making your breath hitch.
"Because you made it." You growl, trying not to let the fear show.
Dabi squeezes again, a bit harder. He leans down to your ear. "Well, personally..." He whispers. "I quite like it." He chuckles, pulling away.
Dabi runs a few fingers down your chest, now sitting on the edge of the bed.
"You're cute." He grins devilishly. "I think I'll keep you."
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stanlunter · 1 day
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I somewhat agree with your post about the parallel between Belos and Willow. Hunter needs someone who sees him as equal. But Willow is written to be so forceful. She drags Hunter down with the vines violently just to make him join her team. And I see her clearly SMIRKING when she pulls Hunter down the ground when he tries to leave. That's so similar to how Belos did that to him. I don't know if this is bad writing or not but Willow is written to be forceful and violent. She violates Hunter's boundaries many times and the way she throws Luz, her best friend, so hard that Luz had a head concussion in Understanding Willow makes me uncomfortable.
EXACTLY!!! And it annoys me so much! I just hate people like this and Willow from s2b-s3 makes me feel sooo uncomfortable
People say It's bc "Willow is strong girl, you just can't handle strong girls" and other shit like that, It's so stupid
Since what absolutely ignoring people’s boundaries and disrespecting them = being strong?
There are a lot of strong female characters who don't act like this and I absolutely love them, like Adora, Katara, all AOT girls, Yosano, Lake, Vi, Kagami, Cassandra, Kohaku and etc...
But they really say this about WILLOW, Idk how can anyone like her in s2b-s3. And the worst thing is that toh ROMANTIZES this behavior, like wtf???
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tswwwit · 4 months
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I feel like if Dipper were ever reincarnated as a demon, he wouldn't fit in super well with the others. Yes, he's been raised to vie for power and step on everyone in his way using whatever means is necessary - it's the same toxic bizz as when he was a human, appealing to gender norms. He's tougher, scarier, more powerful (than ordinary humans, that is), but when it comes to asserting control - being Evil - he doesn't have it in him. Given enough time, I think he'd grow pretty vocal about leaving living things alone. NOT torturing organisms for the hell of it, or stealing people's souls, or conquering planets. Sure, he's a demon. That's no excuse to be a MONSTER.
It's a VERY unpopular opinion amongst neighboring demons, and rumor spreads fast about the Goody Two-Shoed Activist imp raining on everyone's blood-splattered parade, so much so that it makes it to Bill, who's immediately intrigued. Call it intuition, but only one soul's capable of overriding goddamn demon nature for some preachy bullshit about "Doing Good." Lucky for him, demons occupy the same plane of existence, so all it really takes to verify the guy is a snap of his fingers, and POOF! He's floating right next to him. Sure enough, Dipper's fashioned himself a new and improved demonic form, and it is lovely!
No one likes Dipper's kumbaya "Can't We All Just Get Along" ideology, but Bill's almost instantly smitten with the guy, whoever he is, so he's gotta be at least somewhat powerful. Demons take notice when the all-powerful Bill Cipher starts lending his time (and magic?) to some low-leveler like Dipper. Is he being blackmailed? Are they working together? No. Not possible. Bill doesn't "work" with anyone, save for whatever human catches his eye every few decades. Doesn't look to be doing him any benefit, either. The opposite, even. Lending power to a saint like Dipper only makes it harder to cause chaos, after all. Why would he actively go against his OWN best interest to cater some imp's? It's almost like he's. He's.
A henchmen.
(Bill's also 30% more affectionate the first month they reunite, because he still can't believe that his adorable little human husband came back as the same SPECIES as him! He'd never complain over having a sweet human to squeeze, but one with teeth and claws and cute pointy ears doesn't hurt).
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#answers#I can't help but picture demon dipper starting out all like#I'm Bad 😡 I'm Mean 😡 I'm Evil As Heck!! 😡#And still having a HUGE hatred for things that are Unfair or Unjust. One time he saved a kitten from a tree and got embarrassed about it#Eventually he just has to give into his nature and speak up about all the BULLSHIT he sees going on around him#Sorry Dippin' Dots even the society that 'raised' you can't prevent you from your do-gooder ways#Don't worry Bill loves you for the stupid idiot you are#Everyone is completely BAFFLED by Bill acting like a friggin' henchman though#I bet they don't even peg it as romantic interest at first. Dipper sure doesn't#He's thinking this is some Grand Scheme to convince him back into the evil fold#And to be fair Bill's very tempting in that respect. But not leaning as hard into it as he *could* be#Maybe he thinks Bill's trying to 'mentor' him for something. Seems like the kind of thing Bill would imply and let Dipper fill in the gaps#They're technically not the same SPECIES since Dipper's probably some human-shaped 'demon'#And Bill's originally from a two-dimensional weird universe. Technically speaking he's His Own Thing#Aside from whatever refugees escaped that plane. If any.#Demon covers a LOT of different beings that don't have much or any genetics in common#But you KNOW Bill's thrilled as hell that Dipper's Slightly More Immortal than usual!! This one's gonna last a WHILE#*slams fist on table* Give Dipper A Tail With A Tuft That Bill Can Pull To Be Annoying#Final thought: In this incarnation Bill might have been wondering where the hell Dipper got to since there's no human around#Given a long enough time he might even wonder if he was LOST#So you know that when Dipper reemerges on the scene everyone else was dealing with a VERY unhappy Bill Cipher for QUITE a while
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moonpaw · 10 months
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Fighting DEMONS rn trying not to get invested in one piece to figure out wtf you're posting about!!!!
come here cyber.... we have this thang
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#mp answers#i've been trying so hard not to be annoying to my bnha friends but if you will allow me to push this for this ask let me say 🙏#if you're afraid of the episode count for one piece the manga is a lot quicker read while being just as enjoyable because the art style is#an actual delight. its great its fantastic im absolutely in love with it#the series is soooo good and i know luffy can seem unappealing to people before they start but he's just SUCH a great character & continues#to be even now. the story is SO GOOD the characters are SO GOOD... theres so much lore and world building that its insane#if you read the manga we get 'cover stories' on what's going on with previous characters to see what theyre up to even though we moved on#from where we left them. a lot of these cover stories blend into the main story so well its just seamless#there's one where we get introduced to a character we dont see hundreds of episodes into the anime and they show up like; during the second#saga. the series is about traveling to other islands and every single arc has been tied to another in some way or form that shows up later#even if its sagas and sagas later- it still becomes relevant again!! it's a huge ongoing story and there isnt a single arc that feels like#it has no purpose (sans filler in the anime-but even then!! some filler arcs are really entertaining!)#it's emotional! its sad! its downright stupid and silly but GOD... you can feel the love that oda put into this series and his characters#and the emotions in the expressions and the messages the story gives off it just makes me UEUHGHHAHGHH!!!#it's all about the adventure and the romance of it all! its about the freedom it brings and bringing freedom to others!#its a series where treasure should be a focus given its pirates and the its a giant treasure hunt for the one piece and yet! and yet so man#of the characters treasures are things that are not coins and gems but people and promises and family and and#im going to EXPLODE i love one piece
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dekusleftsock · 2 months
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Turning tragedy into hope-Let him lose those arms
I’ve tried making this post three times so let’s hope that third times the charm y’all.
I’m just gonna come out and say it but when I saw that panel where Izuku doesn’t have any hands I literally got so excited.
AND ITS NOT BECAUSE I LIKE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER GETTING BRUTALIZED (well? I do think it’s a little funny but shhh)
But it’s because this has been foreshadowed almost as much as the handhold itself between Izuku and Katsuki. And it’s wonderfully tragic in the best of ways. Literally half of the commentary surrounding it when it came out in the leaks was “omg I thought of that!” Because literally everyone and their mother KNEW this was coming in some form. Izuku was going to lose an arm, and that would be the case.
Hell, even outside of the story the amount of official art and AU’s Horikoshi drew that had Izuku without an arm is astounding. Like it’s so painfully obvious that this was coming, and so he upped the shock when he made Izuku lose them both.
Izuku is even doing his white eye thing, he isn’t shocked, he’s angry. My dude is pissed. Clearly, to me at least, the loss of his hands is less of a shock to him and more so that he’s angry that afo took away the reason he lost them in the first place—Tenko.
Y’all gotta remember who Izuku is, he’s the stubborn motherfucker that refused time and time again to give up on his dreams, he’s the one that illegally saved Iida and Katsuki, he’s the one that refused to let go of Tenko’s hands because when he was in his time of need, it comforted him.
Izuku has been told by his doctors for over a year atp that he was going to eventually either lose his hands, or lose the function within them. He’s accepted that. He can try to stop it, hold it off through equipment and treatment, but at the end of the day, everything breaks eventually. He knows that. We know that.
So if he was going to lose his arms in some way, it’d be through this: saving someone, holding their hands, never letting go, comforting them.
It’s tragic and sacrificial, but Aizawa’s the same. Did we make theories about how Eri is gonna heal him from being an amputee? Did the story say “actually due to this cool magical illusion/quirk it was all a mirage/eri could heal it”? No, it didn’t. Did Mirko somehow get her arms and legs back because they’re tied to how she views her strength? No, she didn’t.
And there’s a reason they didn’t. Multiple reasons they didn’t. They’re heroes, their scars tell their stories.
Not even mentioning how that’s such a trope (“everyone else keeps their long term injuries except for the main character because he’s special and gets main character powers, like not getting a disability from a dangerous job! :)”), but why should eri, a little girl, be responsible for everyone’s injuries? She doesn’t even have full control yet, she’s playing it by day. (People LOVE to talk about how all the 1-A kids are just kids fighting in a war, except when it comes to a little girl being responsible for everyone’s injuries, somehow)
The reason eri was shown wasn’t because she was going to somehow save the day, but because she wasn’t. It was supposed to stop those theories from having actual merit, because eri doesn’t actually have the built up strength to help.
So, with that out of the way, I wanted to say how this is so fucking beautiful. It’s tragic yes, Izuku and Katsuki never got to hold hands, not properly, but maybe the measure of their trust is beyond that. Maybe, an embrace could suffice—this would go back to Izuku’s vigilante arc. Where, instead of holding hands, Katsuki caught him when he needed to. And he’s going to do it, again and again.
Maybe holding a robot or silicone arm won’t feel the same, but it’s the feelings surrounding it that matters, not the act itself. The hand hold is still there, the hands still haunt the narrative like a mouse within the walls. It bites at cords like their own emotional walls.
Katsuki missed his chance, over and over again, and he’s going to have to come to terms with that. But that’s not to say that the story won’t let this aspect haunt the narrative like it always has. It’s still THERE, and I believe in Horikoshi to continue to write a story about hands while the main character doesn’t even have them.
Izuku’s hands are tied to his strength, physically and emotionally. He views them has the glue that ties his heroics to himself. His hands have always reached out to others, his hands have always punched those who were wrong, and even when he had to switch fighting styles he still saw them as the reason he was able to fight at all. They represent OFA, his love, his anger, his weakness, his strength. They represent his sense of self, and yet he’s more outraged than hurt that he lost them for Tenko to be free—only for AFO to take away that freedom all over again.
THATS why the loss had to happen. THIS. He lost something so incredibly valuable to himself, but he lost them of his own accord. He could have let go of Tenko at any moment, yet he didn’t because he wanted Tenko to know comfort and freedom. He wanted him to be free.
You could say that Tenko was telling Izuku to let go because he was breaking down his emotional resolve, and I believe you could also say that he was telling Izuku to let go so he doesn’t hurt someone who tried to help him all over again. You could say it’s both. It’s selfish and selfless, like everything in this story is. But Izuku refused to, and that was a choice Tenko could never take away from him.
So, that’s how I’ll turn this tragedy to hope, because this was done out of Izuku’s love, why take away that meaning?
Why put them back?
Why take away those scars?
Scars tell stories, they tell you how we became the greatest heroes.
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fleshdyke · 3 months
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hchkvgjvfj
#csa warning for tags#goddd being raped at 6ish and brutally bullied is a hell of a combination#i was the one kid in not only my grade but multiple above and below me as well that the boys would dare each other to 'ask out'#absolutely CONSTANTLY. like jesus#by the time i was raped i'd already been bullied pretty badly for a while. including being constantly told i was ugly by all the boys#which is like. a huge reason i was raped in the first place. i still dont know who it was but i can only assume he took advantage of me#being constantly bullied to abuse me. as child rapists so often do#but like i was always the one that would be 'asked out' as a dare bc why would any of them want to talk to me#it was so inconceivable that any of them could want to be near me let alone 'go out' with me. they didn't even bother trying to hide the way#they laughed. like they didn't try to hide it bc they knew no one would do anything#and this happening to me fucking constantly for years on end throughout my ENTIRE childhood. that fucks with you man#like i dont think its even possible for anyone to like being around me at all. let alone find me attractive#there's still never been a single person who's had a crush on me or whatever#like all my friends have stories about annoying boys having crushes on them when they were younger. and what does it say about me that im#the complete opposite. and like it's so stupid because who fucking cares what 10 year old boys thought in 2016 but it really really fucks#you up bad man. like if anyone ever does come to be attracted to me for whatever reason i dont think im ever going to be able to believe it#i'm always going to be waiting for the joke to end and them to start laughing. i'll always be waiting for the other shoe to drop#and the worst part of it all is that i fucking want to be raped again#being raped as a little kid is the only time anyone has ever wanted me. it's the only time i've ever been desired. and i dont even like sex#but it's just the only time anyone has ever loved me in a non parental way#like i have one crush story to all my friends'. and it was a grown man that raped me when i was little#and i want to be raped again so fucking badly not because i would enjoy it but because it would prove that someone actually fucking wants me#i want to be sexually harassed and not in the way i usually am. i want to be catcalled and have to be scared walking around alone#i want men to grope me and say disgusting things and rape me because then i would finally be fucking wanted#it would prove that i'm actually likeable in some capacity. that i still am#im so scared that now that im grown im just a lost cause. because i was only desirable when i was little. now im just nothing#and i know i shouldnt even care but its so fucking hard to shake. i just want someone to love me#and i love my mom so much but i want them to love me because they want to and not because they have to#rambles#vent
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