#he left ed for fucking dead on the ship

[edandstede]

“stizzy” and “edizzy” this “steddyhands polycule” that i’m being violently sick on my shoes actually

#ofmd spoilers #fucked in the head if you think stede would touch izzy with a ten foot barge pole #stede might come to respect his skills as a pirate but fucking hell #he actively daydreamed about killing him for hurting ed #he left ed for fucking dead on the ship #and you think this is gonna be a love story that includes izzy #i’m seeing people genuinely thinking their ‘arc together’ this season is a love one #bro 🤡 #it is fucking not and sometimes you really are just wrong #like you’re actually radged. off your rockers #just. you have this beautiful love story between ed and stede #and you want to invite the dude who almost killed them both to the party #who is racist and homophobic and emotionally abusive to the point of pushing ed to suicide #the fuck is wrong with you actually #fandom wank #quill to paper #swinging a bat at a hornet’s nest i don’t care. ship what you want but it’s a no from me

[sassygwaine]

ed already left once…of course stede thought he’d be okay on his own…

#ow my heart #there’s so much they don’t say to each other #like when ed leaves he thinks it’s what stede will want eventually so why not just do it now save them both the pain #but then he realizes it was all a con and went back to the ship to stede yes but he says “better alive than dead” #so stede thinks he came back because this was his best shot at survival #his self esteem is so fucking low he probably thinks the kiss and ed’s excitement were too good to be true #sure the going back to mary may have been reflex the choosing to stay was grounded in the idea that ed would be better off without him #because ed already left once so of course he’d be okay without stede again #BECAUSE HE DOESNT KNOW #HE DOESNT KNOW ED IS ALSO IN LOVE WITH HIM HE DOESNT REALIZE HOW DEEP IT GOES #FUCK

[citrineghost]

I absolutely cannot get over - of all the things wrong with this season of OFMD - the abuse apologism.

Listen, hear me out, I understand that they're violent pirates. I understand they brutally murder and kill people and steal their shit and ruin lives. I get it.

The problem is, you cannot make a comedy about pirates and put a focus on the therapizing and emotional openness of the crew, making the fact that Stede showing up has them healing and talking and being emotionally more healthy as a major selling point of the show only to use that therapy-speak as a way of justifying abuse apologism.

They all hurt people, yes. The thing is, they're not supposed to hurt each other. They're supposed to be a family. The violence and abuse is supposed to be outside of the family network. They're supposed to be at home around each other, even if everyone there isn't great all the time and can sometimes be a bit toxic or unhealthy. Overall, in season 1, the message was, "We can get through this together." "Talk it through, as a crew."

Instead, season 2 dives directly into Ed committing atrocities against his own crew, giving most of them some combination of PTSD (which is clearly worse than any they've experienced before, because their personalities and ability to interact with people is completely altered), dissociation, hypervigilance, etc. Then, when they finally beat his ass and try to kill him because of the abuse, Stede fucking Bonnet shows up and is like, actually! I think you all should give him another chance!

The following episode(s) are so fucking hard to watch.

You've got people jumpy around him, terrified he's going to hurt them, all the while Stede encouraging them to just get over it and forgive him. He pushes for Ed to try to "turn poison into positivity." Basically encouraging the notion that if your abuser apologizes and then acts nice, everything should be fine and peachy.

The fact that this is bullshit is mentioned, I believe, only once, when someone noted that Edward didn't even use the words, "I'm sorry," during his apology.

This isn't just perpetuated by Stede, it's also perpetuated by Black Pete. He says to Lucius, "I feel like you're not even looking at me, you're looking through me." and then, when he sees that Lucius is drawing Ed's head on Pete's body (I guess meant to be some comedic take on traumatic fixation), he isn't sympathetic at all, he get's mad that he's not focused on him, and says something along the lines of, "You're so focused on the bad that happened to you but I haven't heard you mention once that you're alive."

This is such a heartwrenchingly common form of abuse minimization that it's nauseating to think about. This idea that, oh, you may be traumatized but actually you're not dead so who cares? Be grateful! Get over it!

And, unlike it being pointed out that Ed didn't say the words, "I'm sorry," this scene is never criticized by anyone in-show. Instead, Lucius appears very guilty and then draws a picture of Black Pete as an apology, telling him he's right.

He wasn't right. That's a fucked up thing to tell someone who was almost killed and then experienced extreme trauma following that. He made the entirety of Lucius' trauma an affront to him. Because Lucius was thinking about his trauma and not him.

Now the worst thing about all of this, to me, is that once this episode is past, it's treated as if everything is resolved. Oh haha funny, Ed walked around the ship with a cat bell on his neck for a few days so he couldn't sneak up on people! So cute and quirky!

It's fucking not! They should have thrown him onto a deserted beach and left him there. I'm not saying Ed should never be allowed to have anything good again in his life, I'm just saying it shouldn't be the crew he traumatized and abused. They don't deserve to have to live with him. They shouldn't be expected to forgive him.

Don't even talk to me about how they made a, and I quote, "Safe Space," and then Ed showed up to it. Like he had any fucking right to be there. When it was a Safe Space meant to be specifically an escape for the people he abused and traumatized. As if he, too, was a victim of him abusing them.

And on top of all of that, the fact that, as he's dying, Izzy is taking all the blame for Ed's actions as Blackbeard - another of Ed's abuse victims - and is treated as if that's the peak of his emotional development. It's not. That was where his development plummeted. He had seconds left to live and he used them to absolve his abuser of his guilt because he loves him and didn't want him to feel as bad when he died.

I was not a fan of Izzy in season 1. He was the biggest cunt on the ship, and he did encourage Ed to be a worse version of himself. But that doesn't mean his cuntiness justified him being mutilated and abused daily. We can only put so much of that on him. Ed had the power to say no. He had the power to be moderate, even. He had the power to be violent and terrible to people outside of their crew. He took Izzy's words and he ran with them - waaay further than he had any conscionable right to.

But this post isn't about season 2 Izzy. It's about abuse apologism, which I feel made up a significant portion of this season's content. And I'm just fucking furious about it.

I'm not saying shows can't have bad things in them. I'm not saying abuse apologism doesn't happen or that it doesn't have its place in media. I'm just saying, season 2 of this show wasn't a fucking comedy. The writers fucking tanked it. Everything that was good about season 1 was stripped of season 2 and everything was plunged into dark-humor tinted tragedy.

You can't base an entire show on the idea of comedically intelligent/modern therapizing language and then use that language to communicate that abusers deserve your pity and forgiveness - not to a queer audience that is probably 90% people who have been horribly abused.

#ofmd critical #ofmd #ofmd 2 #ofmd season 2 #ofmd2

[bougiebutchbinch]

horrid little brainworm

Frenchie is still green at the start of the Kraken era.

He isn't, by the end.

But back then, when it all begins - when he isn't used to the sting of kohl-mixed sweat dripping into his eyes - he makes mistakes. Lots of them. Simple little things - fluffing a knot in the rigging that has their sail unfurling midway through the dogwatch, goods left unstowed to roll with the list of their ship.

Most of the time, Izzy yells himself hoarse for five minutes, then shows Frenchie how to fix it, interspersing his lecture with expletives. Whatever. That's fine. Let the little man scream - he's not the scariest thing aboard anymore.

Never was, really.

But then Blackbeard (Ed? The Kraken?) stomps out of his cabin, hair a black thundercloud, and snarls 'which one of you men is responsible for that fucking mop', pointing to some cleaning equipment Frenchie forgot to pack away.

And everything goes still, as if they're becalmed.

[CW: whipping, abuse, non-explicit mentions of Frenchie's past locked-box traumas]

No one says Frenchie's name - not even Izzy. He just ducks his chin and refuses to look his captain in the eye. But the eyes of every other crewmember jump guiltily to Frenchie, at least once - and Blackbeard is too smart to miss such a tell.

"A ship needs discipline," he says. "Isn't that what you always tell me, Iz?"

"I'll attend to it," says Izzy, voice scratchier than ever. Frenchie knows this is a bad fucking situation - memories battering against the inside of his locked box, trying to get out - but somehow he can't feel fear. Can't really feel anything.

"With the cat," says Blackbeard. "Give the culprit fifteen. Really make the lesson stick."

Ah. There's the fear.

Frenchie's breath stifles itself halfway up his throat, as screams sneak through the keyhole of his box, along with the crack of a whip -

No. No, no, no. He can't. Not again, he can't -

Izzy glances up. Frenchie expects him to grin, all vindictive sadism - but whatever he sees on Frenchie's face has his mouth pulling into a tight line.

"Yes, sir," he says, though Frenchie barely hears over the dull roar of his heart.

He casts his gaze about, looking for an escape. Over the side? They're too far from land, but fuck, if it isn't tempting -

Jim fondles their knives, glaring mutinously at Blackbeard's back as he returns to his cabin. They don't spring after him (though Frenchie selfishly wishes they would). They're well aware - as is everyone - that right now, with Blackbeard black-eyed and bloodthirsty, they'd lose.

Izzy swallows. Shuts his eyes. Then calls for Fang to fetch the cat.

Frenchie loses time then. Scarcely a blink passes before Fang reappears above the deck, the strings of the knotted whip scraping the floor like the tentacles of a shrunken sea-monster.

They're flaky with rusty residue. Old, dried blood.

Frenchie's fingers twitch in the chords of the first song his Ma taught him. No rituals or superstitions will save him. Nothing will. Because his old crew are marooned, almost certainly dead, and his new crew are - with the exception of Fang and Jim and Ivan - fucking monsters.

He's going to be whipped (again). He's going to shred open all those old scars. The box is going to open, and -

Oh, God. Oh God. Fifteen lashes is survivable (Frenchie knows, he knows) but he's still not sure if anything of himself will emerge from the other side.

He's still frozen, staring at the whip held in Fang's big hands, flat out like he's presenting it to Izzy. Only... Izzy doesn't take it.

No, Izzy moves to stand in front of the mast. Walking stiff, with a bit of a limp. While Frenchie's reeling, struggling to process what's happening, he yanks off his shirt. And - fuck, his back is almost as ugly a sight as Frenchie knows his own would be, if he could bear to study it in a mirror.

A few of the crew draw shocked inhales. Most don't look surprised.

Frenchie is one of the latter group. Sound travels, on a ship.

"Um," says Fang, cat dangling limp. "Boss?"

Izzy grabs the hawsers wrapped around the mainmast. Heaves a deep breath. Rests his forehead against the wood.

"You heard the captain," he croaks. "Fifteen lashes."

Fang's eyes are moist - though they are more often than not, nowadays. "Boss - "

"The captain wants the culprit disciplined," Izzy says. His muscles flex beneath their coating of scars. Bracing himself, Frenchie's mind supplies. For the oncoming pain. Not that any amount of tensing is ever enough. "First mate's responsible for maintaining a tidy deck."

This turn of events finally settles into Frenchie's bones. The whip's not for him, thank everything. His key slides gratefully into the lock of his box and turns, ensuring it's shut tight.

Still, sickness churns in his guts. Last week, sleep eluded him. He'd intended to skulk above decks and breathe the sea air to clear his head. He never made it - because who should stagger out of the captain's cabin, so dead-eyed he didn't even notice Frenchie lurking in the shadows of the galley door, but the Revenge's thrice-cursed angry gremlin of a first mate?

Izzy hadn't looked much like a gremlin then, though. Doesn't now, either. Just looks. Tired. And old. And bruised to shit beneath his shirt, and not all of those lash marks are old, weathered scars, and -

Frenchie's fingers twitch more rapidly, pressing through their imaginary chord sequence.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit -

"Fifteen lashes," Izzy reminds Fang. "If you can't do it, anyone else is free to step up. I'm sure there'll be fucking volunteers."

Frenchie eyes Jim. They and Izzy aren't exactly friends - not when Frenchie has heard them mumble a word that sounds horrifically close to 'Oluwande' in their sleep.

But Jim stays right where they are. Hand on the hilt of a knife. Ivan emulates, and, well, Frenchie's feet have damn near put down roots. He couldn't move from this spot if he was ordered to.

Fang's tears well over, and his hand shakes on the whip handle to the point where Frenchie thinks he might drop it.

A clash from the great cabin has them all jumping - all but Izzy, who rests his cheek on the mast like it's a particularly splintery pillow, eyes drifting shut. Blackbeard barges back out, sousing the air with body odour and smoke and self-hatred and whatever the fuck else he's been marinating in.

"What's the fucking wait?" he demands. "I expected way more screams by now." He halts, frowning at the sight of Izzy, stood where Frenchie ought to be (because fuck, he shouldn't have left that mop and bucket out; how many times has Izzy told him - ). For a moment, the harsh line of his brows crumples on itself in something that could be mistaken for regret. But then that dark sneer crawls onto his lips, the one with which the whole crew is becoming familiar. "Can't pick who gets the privilege, eh? Well, lucky for the lot of you, that's what a captain's for."

He stalks forwards, feline-graceful. Frenchie scuttles from his path. When Blackbeard snatches the whip from Fang (not seeming to notice his whimper, his flinch) Frenchie fully anticipates that he'll turn on Izzy, not him.

He certainly doesn't expect Blackbeard to smile, cold and white as a toenail moon, and thrust the whip towards him, hilt first.

"Oh, no." Frenchie raises both hands in surrender. "No, no, no. I couldn't. Awful with a whip, me. Wouldn't, um..." There's the noise of it again, slithering out through the keyhole of his box. The swish. The crack. The scream. "Wouldn't be able to strike hard enough," he stutters. "No upper body strength, yeah."

Blackbeard doesn't approach Frenchie. Just keeps the whip held out towards him, like the accusative finger of a god.

"You give him fifteen," he says, gently. "And make each one count. Or I give him fifty."

Against the mast, Izzy makes a sound - not quite a whimper. Worse; it's far too much like relief. His hands don't shake, but only because they grip the hawser tight as rigor mortis.

Fifty can kill. Has killed before. Frenchie's seen it.

But Blackbeard doesn't want Izzy dead, right? Who would he torture then?

Blackbeard's blank, lifeless eyes pour into Frenchie's.

Who indeed?

Fuck. Frenchie swallows dry. He tells himself it's for self-preservation that he unsticks his boots from the deck and shuffles forth to take the whip. Not for Izzy. Not like he likes the angry little prick. Man's vicious as a cat and thrice as cursed.

Maybe, if Frenchie tells himself that, it'll make this memory easier to lock away with all the rest.

"Ready?" he asks Izzy, softer than he intends. Izzy twists over his scarred shoulder. He looks at Frenchie - really looks at him - for what feels like the first time. Not even glancing to his left, where the Kraken lurks.

Frenchie can't decipher his expression. Pity, for whatever made him offer himself up in Frenchie's place? Frustration, that Frenchie prevented Blackbeard from whipping him into the grave? Misery and fear - no, that's far too sane for a guy like Izzy.

Izzy turns back to the mast.

"Give me your worst," he says.

Frenchie breathes in, breathes out, and obeys.

#ouizzy #ofmd frenchie #ofmd izzy #izzy hands #ed teach born on a beach #israel hands #ofmd ed #edward teach #blackbeard #my fic #bbb creates #our flag means death #ofmd fanfic #frenchie #ofmd jim #jim jimenez

[celluloidbroomcloset]

Narratively, Izzy’s arc only ends two ways - his redemption and death, or his full immersion as a villain. This is going off from what is discussed in this post by @areyoudoingthis, but I didn't want to start writing essays on someone else's post.

The problem of redeeming antagonists is that it’s often in the eleventh hour, and often not emotionally satisfying because it ignores or discards the violence (emotional, psychological, or physical) done by them earlier in order to give them a saving grace.

In the case of OFMD, Izzy suffers, and he suffers as a direct result of the choices he made and the consistent violence he inflicted on Ed and on others. He becomes beloved by the Kraken crew because they see him suffering along with them, and using what little influence he has to try to stop Ed from descending further. But that doesn’t erase what Izzy has done, which is born out by the attitudes of Stede’s crew and Izzy's continued isolation from them until the unicorn and even after.

Does Izzy bear the brunt of Ed’s direct physical violence? Yeah, he does. He's the only one that Ed physically harms (and the cutting off of toes and limbs seems to be a leaveover from Hornigold, as Ed performs the role of the monstrous father who tortured him). That suffering is part of the redemption narrative. It is one of the narrative conceits for Izzy to atone for his sins.

(Please note - I am talking about narrative conventions and how the show is using them, not making a moral judgment on characters' actions.)

Again, narratively, Izzy being the target makes sense. He has systematically tried to deny or eliminate every spark of happiness in Ed’s life. He has tried to have Stede killed multiple times, all of them either by Ed or in front of Ed. He has allied with a repressive regime, itself the biggest villain in the show, that wants all pirates dead or in chains. Failing all that, he has attacked Ed in the only safe space he has - Stede’s cabin - and told him that if he doesn’t turn into the caricatured monster of Blackbeard, then Izzy will KILL him.

He has zero claim on Ed’s mercy and Ed shows him none, not least because Ed's descent is exactly what Izzy insisted on from the very start. Ed, half mad with grief and self-loathing, directs his hostility at his jailer and at himself.

All of that sets up a redemption arc, but how much does Izzy touch on his own culpability? He tells Stede that Ed "took my leg because I dared to mention your fucking name," which is not true. Izzy blames the toxic atmosphere on the ship not on himself and not even on Ed, but on Stede. It is Ed's feelings about Stede - his namby-pamby, pining for his boyfriend feelings - that Izzy thinks have created this violence. And Ed shoots him for suggesting it. Izzy misses his role entirely, that Ed was in fact in the depths of grief but not a violent suicidal spiral when Stede left him.

It may be that Izzy does indeed recognize his role at this point, but he's not admitting it - the furthest he goes is to say that "we did this to him," but he never fully defines what that means, and in this case he's appealing to Stede to save the crew.

Later, when Stede reappears and Ed recovers, it is quite obvious that Ed himself is still angry and still hurt and still distrusting, but the mere mention of Stede's name or sight of Stede's face doesn't send him into a rage. Stede was the source of his grief, but Stede and Ed's feelings for him did not cause the toxic atmosphere on that ship.

Throughout, Izzy does indeed begin to find redemption. He accepts the crew's offering of love, and he begins to express himself outside of Ed and Blackbeard. He decides to move on from what Ed did to him (and he cannot really control if Ed decides to forgive him for his part). He offers sympathy to Stede, and support for their relationship. His suffering is part of that arc, and it is a function of Ed's arc - Ed cutting off the gangrenous limb to save himself. But we never see Izzy taking on the blame for his earlier behavior. Unlike Ed, we don't see him working through, or trying to work through, the pain he caused others and what that says about himself. Which makes sense - Izzy is a secondary character, not the lead. His healing matters less to the narrative than Ed's, and his characterization from the beginning is not of a man given to introspection or longing for something different. Him suddenly embracing Lucius or being really kind to Stede wouldn't make sense.

The only possible narrative conclusion here is for Izzy to die. He cannot continue to exist in the same space as Ed. His character cannot continue to interfere with Ed's healing and relationship with Stede. The show gives him peace and love, and it gives him an opportunity to tell Ed to let go (though, again, he cannot control Ed letting go, and he cannot and should not be the character who "gives" Ed his family - Ed already had that). It allows him to suffer so that he can indeed have redemption that doesn't happen in the eleventh hour, and an arc that feels moving and satisfying, in which Ed crying for him (Ed, who did not care when Izzy got thrown off the ship in Season 1) has resonance. But it was always going to end like this.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd season 2 #izzy hands #edward teach #ed teach #stede bonnet #gif #ofmd meta #tw: abuse #sorry i wrote way more than i thought i would #i may be repeating myself or others #but this just all came out #as always thoughts are appreciated #though i will block rude people

[veeagainsttheday]

Ed, Killing, and the Kraken in Our Flag Means Death S1 and S2

This meta contains a whole heckuva a lot of spoilers for Our Flag Means Death seasons 1 and 2. Thanks to @petrichorca who gave it a read through and left some helpful comments!

When we first get to know Ed in s1e4, the episode concludes with him telling his first mate, Izzy Hands, about his plans to murder Stede Bonnet and steal his identity so Ed can retire from piracy. Ed and Izzy discuss the plan in a casual manner, like this act isn't shocking or deviant from previous conversations and schemes Ed and Izzy have had before. This is consistent with how other characters, especially Black Pete, have described Blackbeard in previous episodes (‘when Blackbeard kills man, woman, or child…’). While Black Pete is (probably) lying, Buttons was with him until the flip. 

As the song ‘The Empty Boat’ by Caetano Veloso plays, Izzy tells Ed, 'You've still got it' and Ed says, 'I know,' turning away to face the empty deck. Only the audience witnesses his true facial expression - the Blackbeard mask falling, a kind of dead-eyed exhaustion (echoed by the lyrics of the song) taking its place. 

In s1e5, we see Ed threaten violence against the French captain, but he doesn't actually hurt the man himself. We also see him act as if he's about to go kill the French partygoers before Stede steps in and 'handles it'. At this point I think we the audience would, if asked, have said that Ed seems to have a casual attitude towards killing that you would expect from 'the legendary Blackbeard'. He's scary ('next one goes through your fucking eyeball') and almost cartoonishly violent ('skin him. And use the snail fork'). So we the audience maybe make some assumptions about where the show stands on violent killing - not only that Blackbeard is familiar with it, but that it's a commonplace act for him.

Then we come to a pivotal moment. In s1e6, Izzy pushes back on Ed for not killing Stede, there’s the conversation about doggy heaven, and Ed promises Izzy that he’ll be the one to do the killing. We see Ed hyping himself up (‘You’re a killer bro. So kill.’) and then holding his knife while standing next to Stede behind the curtain in the captain’s cabin. They’re interrupted by Lucius cutting off his finger. Ed doesn’t go through with it; the moment passes as Stede exits the curtain to announce the entrance of the Kraken. 

At this point, I as an audience member fully believed that Ed couldn’t kill Stede because of his feelings for him. I wasn’t yet sure what those feelings were, but I knew that Ed had a deep affection for Stede, and for a moment I believed that was all that was holding him back. Then, of course, we see Ed have a PTSD/panic attack trigger from the Kraken fuckery that sends him into Stede’s bathtub, hiding underneath Stede’s robe, where he and Stede have what I believe is the most intimate moment of the entire first season (a reading supported by s2e3). Ed tells Stede, ‘The Kraken didn’t kill my dad. I did.’ We are shown the flashbacks to the way Ed’s father abused him and his mother, and the Kraken story he told on deck earlier is shown again with the figure of the beast in the water replaced by himself, as a young teen, on the dock. 

Then Ed tells Stede, ‘If I’m being honest, I haven’t killed another man since.’ Stede tries to comfort him by reminding him how much he loves a good maim, but Ed is still preoccupied with how the fact that he killed his abusive father as a child means that he’s not a good person, and that this is why he doesn’t have any friends, aka, isn’t loveable. Stede tells him, ‘I’m your friend,’ in essence, To me, you are loveable, and Ed reacts by saying, ‘No,’ and banging his head against the tub.

The next important point happens in s1e8, when Jack invites himself to breakfast and regales Stede (very deliberately, as he’s trying to push Stede and Ed apart) with the tale of Ed setting a ship alight and killing many people. (Also note - the show’s first mention of Hornigold! ‘He treated us like dogs! Worse than dogs!’ and ‘Ground us down into nothing!’) While Jack emphasises the horror and brutality of what Ed did, Ed’s demeanour completely changes - ‘No, Stede doesn’t want to hear about that.’ Jack obviously doesn’t listen to Ed; Stede’s face passes from horrified listening to Jack to squinting at Ed like, ‘Is this - true?’ Ed looks thoroughly guilty as the story continues and Stede asks him, clearly doing his best to preserve Ed’s secret in front of Jack, ‘I thought you’d, uh, given up the killing?’ Ed surges forward in his seat and, not making eye contact with Stede, says, ‘Yeah, well, technically the fire killed those guys. Not me.’ The camera then cuts to Jack looking at Stede with a bit of an incredulous expression as if he’s both gauging Stede’s reaction to the entire thing and thinking, ‘Wow BB’s in deep here if he’s making up some weird story about not being the one who lit that fire.’  

I don’t think the show intends for us to believe that Ed was consciously lying to Stede in the bathtub scene in s1e6. Instead, we see the complex way that Ed - who is shown to be both brilliant and possessed of an internal monologue that just cannot shut up - has constructed mental barriers to protect himself from the trauma of killing while still achieving the highest possible status in a very violent profession and existing in a world marred by colonial violence perpetrated specifically against people like him. 

S1e9 shows Ed continuing to posture to everyone but Stede as Blackbeard, seasoned killer (for example, telling Chauncey that he barely remembers killing Nigel because he’s ‘a real “life is cheap” kinda guy’). At the Academy and briefly after, in the beginning of s1e10, Ed seems set to have given up killing and violence for real, but Izzy’s threats in the cabin in s1e10 send Ed reeling back to the Kraken persona he assumed when he killed his dad. The season concludes with him pushing Lucius off the ship and Krakening up to sail, rob, and raise hell forever - but the final shot shows Ed crying alone in his cabin, his Kraken makeup streaking down his face. It’s heartbreaking, but it’s one of my favourite scenes from a character perspective. Imagine if the season had ended with Ed fully transformed into the Kraken, rather than clearly miserable and heartbroken under his mask? 

Season 2 begins with Ed trying to set a record for most consecutive raids, working his crew to death under brutal and traumatic conditions. His list of crimes on his wanted poster certainly suggests a lot of violence and killing, yet the show is careful to show us Ed himself only seeming to kill one person - firing a gun into a man’s back during a raid - and if you look closely, you’ll see that the man was already dying with a dagger through his body. It feels vital to me that the only direct ‘killing’ action we see Ed taking is shooting a man who we presume he can justify as having been already on his way to death. 

In s2e1 and s2e2, Ed can’t kill Izzy, though he does try desperately to get Frenchie to do it for him. He can’t even kill himself, trying to get Izzy to do it instead. When he thinks Izzy has committed suicide with the gun he gave him, he says, ‘I loved you, best I could,’ as if any love Ed could give would by its nature not be good enough. 

Ed wakes in s2e3 in the care of his old captain, Hornigold; of course, he’s really in the gravy basket and Hornigold is serving as a Jacob Marley-esque psychopomp. They key to Ed realising that he’s really [Buttons voice] ‘down in the old gravy basket’ is the conversation that concludes his attempts to be Jeff the Innkeeper. Hornigold tells Ed that he’s not good with people - after all, he did strangle his father. Ed reacts first with disbelief then cold fury, saying he never told anyone that; Hornigold reminds him that he told one person and Ed flashes back to telling Stede in the bathtub in s1e6; then Hornigold reminds him that the one person he told left him, and we see Ed crying under his Kraken makeup at the end of s1e10. Later, when Ed (finally, even Calico Jack would have had it sooner) realises that Hornigold represents himself, he says that he’s unloveable. Here’s the crux of it - he believes that he is fundamentally unloveable because he killed his father, because he is the Kraken, the monstrous beast capable of lethal violence. That’s why Stede left, his brain is telling him even as he’s dying. 

Then Stede actually proves him wrong by returning, saving him from death, and telling him that he ‘love[s] everything about [him]’ in rapid succession. Whether or not Ed fully accepts this information, we do see him very quickly, yes, melt back into Stede’s arms. Which brings us to s2e6, and Stede’s killing of Ned Low. 

Quick digression into killing and Stede: Stede accidentally kills a man in s1e1, is haunted by his ghost in s1e2. He’s so haunted by dead Nigel that he spends a lot of s1e2 asking first Oluwande and Jim for advice on being a ‘mur-der-er’, and then asking Black Pete how his former employer, Blackbeard (!!!) handled killing. (How Pete says, ‘When Blackbeard kills man, woman, or child-’ lives in my head at all times, Matt Maher with the line deliveries of all time.) Finally in s1e2, during his court-mandated therapy with the tribal elder, Stede admits that he doesn’t feel bad about killing Nigel - he was a horrible person even when he was a child! Stede's guilt is coming from somewhere else. We see this again in s1e9, when Stede says it is time for him to face the consequences for what he’s done - it might seem like he means for killing Nigel, since that’s why he’s about to face the firing squad, but we know that Stede’s guilt is about abandoning his family (the people he’s hurt!). Similarly, when Stede kills Ned in s2e6, he seems to get over it very quickly. Ned is clearly a bad guy, and although the act of killing him was traumatic for Stede (much like the act of killing Nigel), Stede presumably reconciles it by knowing that he was protecting Ed and his crew (and avenging Calypso’s birthday). Stede as a character is shown to have a tremendous amount of natural resilience. We later see him immolate a guy and dispatch a number of British soldiers without hesitation. Stede is also one of the two main protagonists of the show, and his attitude towards killing seems to reflect the attitude of the show itself - killing colonisers and torturers to protect your loved ones is ok, actually. 

(Side note but I found this idea about how zero tolerance policies actually hurt victims very informative on the topic of why it's ok that Stede killed his childhood bully; I got that link from this very interesting post where several people are in conversation about how Ed is not Izzy's abuser.)

Back to Ed in s2e6. He asks Stede not to kill Ned; when Stede does anyway, Ed is visibly saddened and ignores Izzy telling him to give Stede a moment; instead he goes immediately to check in on Stede in his cabin. He knocks on the door and in that soft voice that he only ever uses with Stede, he starts to say, ‘Hey. You okay? Look, I was a wreck after my first kill as well.’ Then he pauses, before rambling, ‘I mean, well, it was my dad, so there's that,’ which feels like a little moment of self-reflection. Like. Yeah. Ed. Baby. You might be super fucked up about the act of killing because the first guy you killed was your dad, when you were a literal child! Also, Ed has never been to (as far as we know) court-mandated tribal elder therapy, so of course his decision to kill his father fucked Ed up for decades! Also as a very clever friend pointed out, we don’t know anything about what the consequences of that were for Ed - how did his mother react, is that why he ran away to sea, etc.

There's another important thing here that the audience knows, but that Ed has never told Stede (or, we have to assume, anyone) which is that the catalyst for Ed becoming the Kraken to kill his father was abuse. The audience is shown through his panic-attack-induced flashback that Ed's father physically and verbally abused his mother and presumably him too. All Ed has ever said to Stede or anyone about it, as far as we know, was his joke to the crew during scary story hour that his dad was a dick. Stede can probably infer roughly why Ed killed his dad, but he doesn't know the details, and he loves everything about Ed anyway, and now Ed knows that Stede does too. 

So Ed and Stede have sex, and as many metas have pointed out (like this one!), it's so meaningful that Ed feels safe enough to give up his Blackbeard/Kraken identity the very next morning. He attempts to get Stede to see that it might be nice to not be pirates anymore due to the high chance of death but Stede manages to completely misread it and laughs it off. (To be fair to Stede, they're both horrible at communicating and Ed is not saying what he wants in any direct manner.) Ed proceeds to have his big beautiful brain start to spiral out of control as Jackie points out how popular Stede is becoming as a pirate; Ed panics, tells Stede he doesn’t even know who he is, and leaves to become a fisherman before he can get left (again!). 

As Ed rows away from his failed career as a fisherman in s2e8, his boss Pop-Pop (who he has managed to recreate a fucked up father-son dynamic with that like so many things in his show is played for laughs but has pretty dark undertones) yells after him, 'If you were ever good at anything, go and do that, you bum.' Ed rows back into the port of the Republic of Pirates and sees the destruction Prince Ricky has wrought upon the pirate community. Ed's first thought is, Stede, and then he imagines Stede calling for help before straight up murdering two British soldiers. He remembers Pop-Pop's words and says, 'Have it your way,' before diving into the sea, retrieving his leather, putting it on underwater, and emerging from the waves fully dressed. It's fantastically hot and the exact level of drama I expect from this man. The Kraken musical cue is playing as it happens. 

We now see Ed murdering British soldiers in the coolest ways possible, demonstrating his skill at fighting in hand to hand combat. One way to read him taking Pop-Pop's advice is that this is what he's good at - killing and violence. 

But you know what Ed’s even better at? Protecting the people he loves. His mother, himself, and Stede. Each time Ed becomes the Kraken, he fulfils that. He protects his mother from his father, himself from Izzy after being warned that ‘[Edward] better watch his fucking step’, and Stede from the invading colonisers who want to destroy their freedom. But something has changed the third time he does it - this time, he can tell Stede that he loves him and he doesn't mean it as a tainted thing, but something that he knows Stede will treasure. He's both loveable and capable of loving. He always has been, of course, but now he knows it. The Kraken, the part of him that is capable of killing, was always a defence mechanism for Ed, but the third time he understands it and himself enough to know that it doesn’t make him a monster. 

#ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 meta #ofmd meta #edward teach #blackbeard #our flag means death meta #our flag means death

[neurosiscocktail]

Okay so here’s my pitch for the season 3 cold open-

We open to a close up of Stede’s face, he’s clearly concentrating, he’s sweating a little, and covered in blood. It’s pretty clear as we pan out to a shoulder shot that he just killed someone. He looks very sexy about it.

We switch to a close up of Ed’s face, sweaty, clearly has just been fucked. Maybe his top button is done up wrong. Who knows.

The shot pans out and we start hearing their conversation. They are outside the inn, digging up Izzy (stick with me)- they’re talking about how silly they feel for just now realizing this is the problem- OF COURSE Izzy has been so mad, they didn’t bury him with his ring! How silly of them! And they didn’t even notice until someone tried to rob them and Stede killed the robber (and they fucked about it). THAT must be why Izzy won’t stop haunting them. They tuck the ring into his breast pocket and start to rebury him.

Next shot- we find out that they think Izzy has been haunting them because of a the ~weird happenings~ at the Inn. The haunting does not stop after they bury the ring. This part of the episode starts very creepy, real horror movie vibes. However, we find out through the course of the episode that what they think is a haunting is just two whim prone chuckleheads with no experience running an Inn.

“All of the produce mysteriously went bad!” - Stede, whose experience with food preparation is putting marmalade on toast just left them too close to the fire and the heat did what it does to produce.

“The room keys keep going missing!” Nope. Ed simply cannot remember where he put them.

“The desk bell keeps ringing at night but there is no one there!” It’s buttons the seagull fucking with them.

They both think they’re responsible for the haunting and having a crisis about it. Idk, dealers choice about what they feel guilty about.

They are losing their fucking shit over this haunting. Maybe Izzy shows up once or twice in a Badminton style memory ghost.

We pan back to The Revenge. It’s a total parallel to what happened with the red suit.

They also think they are being haunted by Izzy.

The word “twat” keeps appearing carved into random places aboard the ship. Frenchie’s peanut allergy is back full swing. They keep sailing into storms by accident. Etc

They set sail for the Inn, desperate to ask Ed to control the ghost of his dead best friend or burn the body, anything to get rid of this fucking ghost.

It’s Jim fucking with them and dumb luck. (Except for the storm thing, it’s just impossible for anyone to read the weather as well as Ed)

They all meet up at the Inn, and now we have a Scooby Doo style episode where the ghost was the friendship and character growth we made along the way.

And then for an extra layer of comedy, maybe at the end of the season we see Izzy’s ghost just sort of old man loitering around the ship because he didn’t want to leave what I am affectionately deeming his kids.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #edward teach #ofmd s2 #stede bonnet #gentlebeard #gentleman pirate #blackbeard #frenchie #jim jimenez #buttons #buttons the sea witch #izzy hands #roach ofmd #I think roach knows its just Jim fucking with them but it’s funnier to let it happen #I think if Izzy’s ghost was present he wouldn’t be hovering around Ed to bully him but instead he’d be watching over his crew #eternal first mate and whatnot #blackbonnet #hey just a friendly note that if you message me “I fucking hate Izzy hands and am glad he’s dead but this made me laugh #I will respond by blocking you #I’m just here to be silly and I don’t need that negativity my dude

[darlingeames]

‘You’re Blackbeard?’

Ed – Blackbeard, for Christ’ sake – pops his head out of the wardrobe into the cabin to see if whoever called for him left, then turns back to Stede.

‘Yep. Blackbeard. That’s me.’

Stede, still holding the stupid fucking pants, openly gapes. He thinks for a split second that he should be careful what he says next, how he acts – he knows the man in front of him is incredibly dangerous. But he doesn’t feel it. So it doesn’t matter.

‘But I just asked you, and you said you work for him.’

Ed. Short for Edward fucking Teach.

He vaguely remembers seeing all that leather surrounded by smoke before he lost consciousness, Ed’s voice saying I’ve heard all about you.

‘Techincally, that’s not not true, you know,’ Ed says, and he looks a bit smug. Like he’s proud of his little trick. ‘You could say that being Blackbeard is my job.’

This man is incredibly peculiar, Stede thinks. He grips his pants tighter, which Ed seems to notice.

‘Since you already got up, even though really, you should take it easy, or your guts will spill out, take it from someone who’s been stabbed countless times before, you probably want to get dressed, I’ll leave you to it–’

And Ed starts to get out of the auxiliary closet, but then he turns back.

‘Wear those pants, the colour’s gorgeous.’ And, to Stede's absolute dismay, Ed winks at him.

Left alone in his secret closet, Stede thinks that any rational man would probably at least entertain the possibility that Blackbeard would lock him in said secret closet and steal his crew and ship – but then, Ed was so kind, and he could have killed Stede in his sleep anyway if he would have so desired, so the thought passes so fleetingly through Stede’s mind that it leaves behind no trace.

Stede does indeed put on the pants, and a white shirt and the black cravat, because he felt the need for something to counterbalance the redness of his flesh where the noose had choked him.

He barely stepped out of the closet when Ed turns from looking up at the chandeliers. 

‘What other cool stuff do you have in here?’

So Stede shows Blackbeard his library.

Stede has a feeling, the moment an unknown man, with incredibly kind, large brown eyes wakes him up from his feverish nightmare. He feels, more than he thinks, that of course, this is exactly the way it should be. If it had been Lucius or Olwande sitting on his bed, warning him not to get up too fast lest his guts spill out, he would have felt disappointed, and he would not for the life of him been able to pinpoint exactly why. But Ed, who works for Blackbeard, and who looks exactly like someone who would work for Blackbeard, assures him that he might be a decent pirate since the Spanish didn’t manage to kill him yet, and takes an interest to Stede’s best robe and he can’t tell silk from cashmere but he keeps rubbing it between his fingers, and Stede knows nothing about this man, and the part of him that has been reading pirate stories all his life yells that it might be a trap, they are pirates, for fuck’s sake, they screw each other over all the time, he could be lying for all you know and your crew is either dead or imprisoned and you’re this close to being thrown overboard – but it’s such a distant tirade, and Stede can barely hear it over the sound of his robe rustling between Ed’s fingers, and he’s been dying to tell someone just how much fun he’s had while having the Revenge built. 

So really, it’s no choice at all.

‘Can you keep a secret?’

It turns out that pirates do lie and do screw other people over, even if it’s such for a bit of fun – Ed says No, I’m Blackbeard, and Stede thinks Christ alive, did I really bring the actual Blackbeard into my auxiliary closet that nobody but us knows about and showed him my fucking summer linens, how has this become my life, and stares in horror at the back of Ed’s head, at the unruly mess of salt and pepper curls, and thinks of the worst. But Ed shows no sign of it meaning anything at all – doesn’t call back to whomever it was that was looking for him, and doesn’t start laughing at Stede –

In seconds, quick as silver, the two images in Stede’s head become one – this is Blackbeard, he knows he is, just as he knows he’s not in any real danger, just as he knows the sparkle he saw in Ed’s eye when he opened the secret door was real.

He’ll never look at him and think Blackbeard. That word still conjures up the fantasy version of Black Pete’s stories, the one in his books, the smoke and the glowing eyes and the nine pistols, and the ruthlessness and bloodthirst. That Blackbeard has never had anything to do with his Ed, the man that woke him up and seemed thrilled with all of Stede’s idiosyncrasies, from his clothes to his two chandeliers and his books. In this world, it’s one of his biggest failings – he’s never been able to look at Edward Teach and see what he should have seen. What his crew saw. What Izzy had tried so hard to preserve. He had taken one look at the man and Stede, in his feverish, incredibly embarrassed state, hadn’t seen the leather and the tattoos and the years upon years of having the sea as a home, he saw kind eyes, he felt a warm hand, and he didn’t meet Blackbeard, he met a man that made the simple act of breathing easier.

#ofmd ficlet #ofmd fic #gentlebeard #blackbonnet #going back to their very roots<3 #wrote this as a warm up to get into the feel of it #sometimes i just like dipping into stede's head. i think it's fascinating in there. #the way he perceives ed is so <333 to me #my writing #my fics #our flag means death #mine.txt #ofmd #ed teach #stede bonnet

[everyscreentoobeseen]

Hold on, why do yall think Stede's choice to kill Ned was a WHIM?????

First of all, this isnt the first time Stede got someone killed. Chuancy was an accident, but he did use the stun move. All of ep 2 s1 was about Stede learning how to deal with it. He still feels bad but as he told the natives. He dosen't feel bad that Chauncey is dead. His crew was under threat. So he stopped Badminton from hurting them. His bad feelings came from somewhere else.

Nighel Badminton got himself killed but it did make Stede run back home and face his problems. When he does go back home he tells the other rich guys.

"I've seen death. Been the cause of it. It changes you."

He already knows what it's like be a killer!

But everytime it wasn't his choice. The Badmintons were accidents. He never got to actually choose to be a killer.

That's why when Ned Low invaded his "safe space ship", captured his crew (family) and tortured not only them but also The Love of his Life, Making it into a fucked up PERFORMANCE! All his life bullies found fun in torturing him. Why would this guy be any different.

Hell yeah he was ready to kill him.

Of course, this time he gets to choose. This is not him using a stun move. He is now the conducter of Ned's death and he'll be damned if it's not done His Way.

He's not gonna stab him. It's not gonna be messy. It's not gonna be fast like a gunshot or a stab through the head.

He is going to make Ned SUFFER. Force him to walk the plank. Throw his precious violin in his face and let him drown. It's clean. It's poetic. It's outsourcing the big job to nature. Just like killing spiders.

But Ned continues to demean him. "You know once you kill me your a real pirate. Your not an amateur anymore." Even after everything Stede has been through. Not matter how much he's grown, the world still thinks he's playing at pirating.

The Badmintons dont count.

EVEN ED THINKS SO!

"Once you've killed in cold blood. You cant come back."

Well Chuancy's death was cold blooded wasn't it? Stede snuck him from behind. The boat fire that he caused isn't enough either. When Ed burns a boat, it's murder. But when Stede does it it's "quirky". Stede ALREADY considered himself a killer but NO ONE ELSE DOES. (not even the fandom apparently.)

Yes, he wanted to prove himself. But I don't think that was the thought process until Ned brought it up.

Stede did not hesitate on Ned's death until the others made him question himself. He was completely set on making sure Ned wasn't a threat to his ship. He was so sure of making him walk the plank. It was PLANNED from the moment he put the plank down and the other boat left. What's one more death? But then everyone was treating him like a innocent child?? Like he's doing something unlike him?

He HAD TO PROVE to everyone in that moment that he could kill Ned because no one RECOGNIZED that he was ALREADY a killer.

Him killing Ned became a point to make once he realized there was even a point to be made.

The only reason that he felt even a little bad about it was because Ed asked him not to. He felt like he let Ed down. That maybe Edward like Stede Bonnet, Landed Gentry Pretending to Be A Pirate more than Stede Bonnet, Real Pirate. Because he realized how much he's changed. No more Gentleman, now he's just a Pirate.

That's why he Sped Things Up with Ed. He wanted Ed to prove that he could handle not so innocent Stede FUCKING Bonnet. That he wouldn't leave Stede after seeing this new side of him. He gets consent and then goes on to have the man of his dreams after saving him. How romantic male lead of him.

Of course the NEXT FUCKING DAY HE GETS TOLD IT WAS A MISTAKE!!!! THAT HE'S NOT READY FOR "WHATEVER THIS IS".

How on earth was Stede not supposed to take this as "I dont like the you that isn't soft, isn't insecure, isnt in need of protection." That Ed is leaving to become a fisherman because he cant stand Stede being the messy one for once in his life.

Maybe it was trauma. Maybe it was a show of toxic masculinity. But dont pretend like Stede did it on a WHIM.

#ofmd #blackbeard #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #edward teach #ofmd s2 #our flag means death #stede bonnet #stede fucking bonnet #ned low #chauncey badminton #nigel badminton #the takes I've been seeing are.... SO BAD #pls tell me you don't think stede wasn't actively choosing to kill a man that attacked him first #i need to read/write fanfics about this #ofmd meta #man on fire #calypso's birthday

[blackbeardsheartbreak]

The crew of the New Revenge is hanging out a week after leaving their former captains at their so-called inn.

“Think they’ve starved yet?” Roach wonders aloud.

Chuckling, Auntie replies, “They’ve been dead for days.”

“Nah, I left Dads plenty of food,” Archie informs them.

Jim looks at Archie quizzically. “Food? What food? And stop calling them ‘Dads’!”

“I found a pregnant boa and threw her under the house. They should have about 30 snakes to eat by now.”

Archie seems really proud of herself.

“What’s wrong, babe?” Pete asks Lucius, whose eyes have gone wide.

Lucius bursts out laughing, picturing Ed reacting to 30 snakes inside the shack. Everyone looks at him in confusion, but he can’t catch his breath to explain.

Suddenly there’s a commotion at the side of the ship.

Stede’s yelling up from a dinghy, “Frenchie, permission to come aboard?” as a sopping wet Ed climbs over the rail.

“Land can fuck right off! Fucking nature!” Ed’s muttering as he stomps to the captain’s quarters.

Stede follows Ed, offering apologies to Captain Frenchie, explaining that they woke up covered in snakes and Ed swam about a mile out to sea before Stede caught up with him in a dinghy.

The crew all turn to look at a beaming Archie.

“See! Dads didn’t starve!”

#Archie is my favorite chaos #archie logic #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd archie #archie ofmd #edward teach #ofmd 2 #gentlebeard #stede bonnet #renew as a crew #new revenge #jim x archie #jim ofmd

[pengychan]

[Our Flag Means Death] Izzy's Gravy Basket

Summary: Nothing is life is certain but death and taxes - but pirates do not, as a general rule, pay taxes. And when a sea witch is involved, death is not always all that certain either. Characters: Izzy Hands, Calico Jack, Ed Teach, Stede Bonnet. Rating: T  

A/N: Did I hate how Izzy's story ended? Not necessarily. Did I still start writing this from the second I got off work and didn't stop until it was done? You bet.

***

Perched on the makeshift cross marking a freshly-dug grave, a seagull screams and screams and screams.  

It’s been chased away a couple of times, but it keeps coming back to call out. It knows patience, and it knows what needs to be done. The sunset turns to darkness, and then back to morning light; shadows grow longer, heading back to sunset, and yet it remains. Yet it screams and it calls, it calls, it calls.

And usually, when you call out enough times, something will eventually answer.

***

The first thing on Izzy’s mind as it swims in the dark is something along the lines of ‘fucking seagulls’. The second thought is something slightly more complex, but ‘Buttons, shut the fuck up’ makes no sense, because Buttons is not there and he’s just listening to a screaming fucking gull. The third realization is that he has no idea where here is. 

With a groan and far more effort than is reasonable, he opens his eyes. He sees boards above him, sunlight filtering through, and hears the groans of the rolling ship, the soft sound of the waves. And the fucking seagull, of course. He hears nothing else, though. It’s as though the ship is empty.

The fuck are those twats at, and why is he in the damn hidden room again?

With a groan, Izzy sits up from the bed and reaches to press a hand over his side, where the wound… isn’t. He looks down to see undamaged clothing, over undamaged flesh. 

“What the fuck,” he says, but then his gaze falls on his left leg, and it’s the only answer he needs. He stares a few moments before he stands on two feet, his own two feet, and heads out on deck to find out what his own gravy basket looks like.

***

“... And we need to set some money aside for the knives.”

“The knives?”

“For the kids.”

“What kids?”

“There are always kids around inns. They could use knives.”

“We should probably not be giving children knives, Ed.”

“They’re small. How else do they protect themselves?”

“Well, I suppose we could step in for them, don’t you think?”

“Small knives.”

“... We can discuss it further once the inn is up and running, surely.”

To be honest, it’s probably going to be a while before anything is up and running: they have been here just over a day. Enough time to get a good idea of the amount of work needed to fix the shack - it is a lot - and get themselves some dinner in the form of a wild pig they found wandering nearby. They also caught a rabbit, but as Ed has promptly named it Stede Bunnet, Stede - the human one - has reason to suspect it’s not going to turn into food anytime soon. 

Ah, well. The dinner at Mary and Anne’s rather put him off rabbit meat for a while, anyway.

“Right, yes. I’ll just make a note of it so we don’t forget--” Ed trails off when yet more squawking reaches their ears. Sure enough, it’s that seagull again. It seems to have taken a liking to the cross marking Izzy’s grave, and it’s been making enough ruckus to wake the dead.

Well… unfortunately, not really enough to raise the dead. But it is an awful lot of noise, and Ed hates it. He refused to shoot it - “any seagull could be Buttons now,” he said - but he still very much wants it off the grave. He resorts to firing a shot in the air and yell at the bird to have some fucking respect, and that gets it to fly off, at least. 

For a short time.

***

The thirty-gun sloop is empty, sailing without wind beneath a gray sky, cutting a wound through senselessly choppy water with no effort. It’s been a long time since Izzy laid eyes on this ship, but he recognizes it all the same. It is not the Revenge. It’s--

“Welcome back on the Ranger, Izzy. Betcha didn’t miss it.”

Ah. Him. 

“... I sure fucking didn’t.”

“Missed me, though, didya?”

“No. You’re still a cunt, Rackham.”

“Rude thing to say to the guy you got killed. Brits got you too, huh? Shoulda moved out of the way, both of us.”

Izzy looks up, and Calico Jack grins down at him, leaning on the wheel. He would do that long ago, too, when they were much younger and still sailed under Hornigold. Little more than kids, him and Edward, and himself barely any older. 

“But admit it, better me than old Ben, who’s gotta be roasting in Hell somewhere for turning pirate hunter.” Jack grins, and holds up his burnt arm. The punishment for grabbing more rations than he should have once, and it had taken forever to heal. It never did, not entirely, because the skin pulled like a too tight sleeve and Jack could never quite use that arm the way he once did. 

“That’s a fucking low bar to step over,” Izzy comments, and Jack shrugs. 

“Yeah, it is. Old bastard. You took the brunt of it a lot, too. Never complained. Word was you were into it.”

“Fuck off.”

“Yeah, I can’t. This ain’t my gravy basket, mate. It’s yours.”

“Then why are you here, Rackham?”

“Hell do I know? It’s your gravy basket. I’m as confused as you are. Didn’t think ya liked me that much.”

Izzy chooses to ignore that last statement. “So, I’m dead.”

“Oh, fuck off, right back at ya. You know what the gravy basket is.”

“Old wives’ tales,” Izzy mutters. He leans against the railing, looking down at the sea. Somewhere, a seagull is still screaming. “... Always did hate this fucking ship.”

“Oh? I liked it well enough.” There was no time for Rackham to come down the steps to stand next to him, nor any noise to indicate he did, but now he’s standing next to him, leaning on the same railing. “Taught me all I know,” he adds, and Izzy’s gaze falls on the scarred arm. “I named my own brigantine after it, ya know? After swiping it from Charlie Vane. Man was a coward, anyway.”

“Not rushing to fight a fully armed man-of-war is common sense.”

“Aw, what a wet blanket you are. We’d have won, there were just a bunch of frog eaters on board,” Rackham says, and shrugs. “And what the hell do we need common sense for? Good old Bart had it right. A merry life, and a short one. Though I’m not sure yours was all that merry, Izzy.”

Above, all around, the seagull screams. Not a single bird to be seen anywhere, yet the cries keep coming and coming and coming. Izzy ceases his useless search of the sky, and turns to Rackham. “Was yours?”

“Short, or merry?”

“You’re too stupid to play coy. Just fucking answer.”

A pause, and the ever-present grin fades beneath the mustache. For a moment Izzy sees it again, a boy struggling to keep his lips locked in a smile as he dipped a red and raw arm into saltwater to try disinfecting it. 

“A man’s got to lie to himself sometimes. Ya know.”

“... Yeah. I know.”

“Speakin’ of lies. You really wanna go, or were you tryin’ to make Eddie feel better?”

“What does it matter?”

“In the gravy basket? Fucking everything.” A pause, then Rackham shrugs. “Well, maybe going is the right call, and you dodged a bullet.”

“Oh, fuck of--”

“Hah!” A pat on his back, far too powerful to be really friendly, and then a vise-like grip around his shoulders. “Not the literal one, dumbass. I mean, you can avoid turnin’ into one of… whatever kind of sissies Eddie runs with these days.”

Since opening his eyes again from the darkness, Izzy has felt somewhat numb; now, suddenly, something is awake again, gnashing teeth and sharpened knives. “It’s a good crew.”

“Good for what, target practice? Oh, I betcha the British are not done with them. Won’t last a week without you or Eddie.”

“Fuck off,” Izzy snarls, and breaks away. “You don’t know them.”

“Whoa, whoa, little guy!” Rackham laughs, holding up his hands. “Holy shit, don’t tell me they already rubbed off ya!”

Izzy opens his mouth, but before the perhaps not incredibly original ‘fuck off’ leaves his mouth, Calico Jack has grabbed him by the collar and pulled him close. He grins again, wide, with clenched teeth. 

“Ooh shit, they did. I can smell perfume on you. Got all dolled up, didn’t you?”

“I--” Izzy tries to answer, but insults die in his throat and his tongue is heavy as lead. Something squirms in his stomach, shame black as coal. Rackham’s finger flicks at the ring tied around his neck. 

“Turned ya into their songbird, huh? Little Izzy, listenin’ in to his momma’s songs but never daring to join in. Cozy up to them to listen to bedtime stories, too, didya?”

A flash of anger, burning away some of the coal, and he slaps Rackham’s hand off the ring. “You don’t know a thing, you fucking cunt.”

“I know you’re better off dead than-- that. Lettin’ the whiny brat kill you was the best call. You know that. Said so yourself, no? You wanna go.”

“Shut up.”

“Not that they’ll outlive you by much. Maybe they’ll ask you to sing some more while you feed the fish all togeth--”

Izzy’s sword is out the next moment, cutting through the air with swift, deadly ease. But Calico Jack is fast, too - you don’t become a feared captain by just fucking around with a whip - and his own sword rises up to meet it. They clang, and the seagull screams again. 

The man before him laughs, and looks him in the eye. Izzy meets his gaze, and it’s both very familiar and very, very wrong. He clenches his jaw, staring into his own eyes. 

“You’re not John Rackham.”

Not-John-Rackham’s grin widens. “Of course I’m not fucking Calico Jack, dumbass. It’s your gravy basket. He’s feedin’ the crabs at the bottom of the ocean and so will you. ”

He moves fast, disengaging and then feinting to the left, before swinging his sword the other way. But it’s a move Izzy knows well because he fucking practiced it and used it time and time again. The way he holds his sword, the way he moves, down to the fucking footwork, it’s all his. He’s always been really damn good - and this version of him fights like he used to in his fucking prime.

The swords clang, he’s pushed further and further to the end of the deck towards the railing, and the seagull screams. His opponent laughs.

“You scared, Izzy? Didn’t ya say you wanna go? It’s for the best. You know it, so just let go.”

“Fuck off!”

He brings up the sword to strike, he sees a good chance, but something is suddenly opening up in his side and it’s bleeding agony. He screams, the sword falling from his hand, and he stumbles back. He tries to regain his footing and he cannot, because his leg is gone and there’s nothing beneath his left knee. His back hits the railing, and he almost goes over; a hand catches his collar before he can, and the part of him behind Calico Jack’s face sneers. 

“You’re outta time, Izzy boy. So answer me a simple question, will ya?”

“F-fuck o--”

“If they were so great, wouldn't they be worth stayin’ alive for?”

Israel Hands opens his mouth, but he has no time to say a thing. A push and he’s falling through the air, into the water, and it’s so so cold. Suddenly there is nothing but that, cold and silence, the sun above and sharks below, his blood tinging the water red.

No. No. Not like this. 

He swims up, or tries to. His left side is unending pain, he’s missing a leg and air is running out, but still he swims. He hears it again, distorted by water but unmistakable - the insistent screaming of a seagull. 

Izzy screams, too, and his hand breaks through the surface just one moment before he blacks out.

***

Stede truly, honestly, did not mean to scare Ed out of his wits. Nor he planned to almost die from a heart attack. All he wanted to do, when he spotted the seagull screaming frantically atop Izzy’s grave again, was to shoo it away. He worried that it might grab the ring and fly off with it, and Ed was having a hard enough time dealing with what happened without losing that keepsake, too. 

Maybe leaving it there, nice and sentimental as it was, was a bad idea. Maybe he should bring it inside, and then they could decide what to do. It was not a bad idea, he would insist later.

Only that right now, absolutely nothing goes as planned. He doesn’t even get to shoo away the seagull, who gives one last squawk before flying off on its own accord. Stede looks up at it, hands on his hips. 

“And don’t come back!” he yells, before looking down to see if the ring is still where they left it.

It is.

And beneath it there is also a gloved hand, emerging from the dirt, fingers clenching on air. This time the scream that rings out isn’t a seagull’s, and it’s loud enough to make Edward Teach, all the way down the beach, nearly jump out of his skin.

Stede Bonnet didn't mean to faint, either, but he does anyway.

***

“Really glad-- you twats-- don’t know how to dig six whole feet down.”

“Easy now, Izzy, don’t talk. No, come to think of it, keep talking. I like it. Say something else.”

“Fuck off.”

“That’s exactly what I was hoping to hear. Stede, help me…”

“Oh my God, we buried a man alive!”

“... Yeah, I think at least someone here should learn how to check for a pulse. I don’t think Roach has even been to medical school.”

That’s not what happened, I was dead, Izzy thinks, but he finds that’s not a conversation he wants to start right now. He’s taken inside a shack of some kind, laid on surprisingly clean bedding. When clothing is peeled off carefully to expose the wound, he doesn’t struggle. 

“We’ll give it a good clean, yes?” Stede Bonnet is saying, somewhere on his left. “Oh! And I’ll go fetch your leg. And the ring. But first the wound. I got some alcohol, it’s probably going to sting, but…”

He keeps fretting, with more concern than Izzy ever thought could possibly be warranted for his life, but his attention is taken quickly enough by Ed. He’s wiping his face with a cloth, looking more than a little choked up. “Indestructible little fucker,” he mutters. “There you are. What kind of fuckery was that?”

“The fuckery-- to end all fuckeries. How long…?”

“We buried you almost two days ago.”

“... Heh. Beat Jesus fucking Christ,” Izzy manages, and it takes the last of his strength. He closes his eyes and lets himself fall into unconsciousness, with the utmost certainty that he won’t be going anywhere anytime soon. This time, everything is quiet. 

The seagull who’s not a seagull at all has taken its screaming elsewhere.

***

It takes five more days for the Revenge to appear at the horizon.

It’s a complete surprise, because they were supposed to be gone a lot longer; Stede was hoping they would find the inn all nice and done by the time they did, but he figures the surprise they have for them now was a lot better than just the brand new inn. They don’t tell them right away, as they meet them at the beach.

As it turns out, they have a pretty strange tale of their own. 

“So, we were sailing, right? Smooth sailing, mostly. And then this seagull shows up, perches on the ship, and refuses to leave.”

“Yeah, it just squawked, flew off in the opposite direction, turned back, caught up again, yelled some more…”

“Auntie kept saying it was a sea witch.”

“She insisted we followed it.”

“And you don’t say no to Auntie.”

“Oh fuck, no, you really don’t.”

“So, it took us right back here and then went off somewhere over land. We figured we’d--”

“... What happened to the grave?”

Jim’s voice rings out suddenly, incredulous, and causes everyone to stop on their tracks. Ed and Stede didn’t really have the time to tidy it up, so it looks pretty bad, the earth dug up and the cross gone. The crew turns to look at them, eyes wide and horrified, but the answer doesn’t come from either Ed or Stede. They let someone else do the honors.

“What didn’t happen, you mean. Next time you want me to stay down, put a fucking stone slab on top.”

They turn as one, several jaws drop, and then it’s absolute chaos of the best possible kind. Fang and Frenchie get to Izzy first and Fang physically lifts him, pulling him into a bear hug that is probably not great for his still healing wound, and bursts crying. Not the only one, but probably the loudest.

How, everyone asks, and Lucius is the only one to get some kind of answer. 

“I’m not done teaching you to be decent fucking pirates, Twatty,” he says, explaining absolutely nothing, but it ends the line of questioning. When something good happens, something really good, there’s no reason to ask too many questions.

You take it, and you’re happy for it, and you keep moving.

***

“Captain Hands. It has a nice ring to it.”

Standing at the beach as the crew finishes loading extra supplies before rowing back to the Revenge, Izzy hums. “Stupid sentimental of Frenchie, just giving away the job like that.”

“He put it up to vote.”

“And then voted for me.”

“True, a smashing victory. I wasn’t that popular when I came back from the dead,” Ed says, and shrugs. “He’ll make a great first mate. And don’t act like you’re surprised, I know you’re not. I saw you wiping your eye, too.”

“Fuck off,” Izzy huffs, but he’s smiling and Ed smiles back. 

“When you come back with some British heads, you’ll find a proper inn. We’ll give you all a discount. Do you think you can get us some knives, by the way?”

“Knives?”

“Small. For the children.”

Izzy looks at Ed, considers asking, and decides he probably shouldn’t. “... Yeah, I guess we can find some knives for children.”

“Thanks, mate. Take care.”

“You too. And Bonnet.”

Ed turns to look at Bonnet, who’s apparently saying something hilarious if Olu’s reaction is anything to go by, and smiles. 

“We will,” he says. “I reckon we’re gonna be just fine.”

***

When the Revenge sets sail again it’s on calm waters, with the crew working as a well-oiled machine. As a seagull flies over it, calling out just once, the captain looks up from the waves. 

“Fuck off,” he mutters, but he doesn’t mind, not really. He watches the bird turn into a small white dot and disappear, then he breathes in the morning air, and hums quietly in the wind.

Les ennuis, les chagrins, s'effacent  Heureux, heureux à mourir…

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #izzy hands #calico jack #stede bonnet #edward teach #our flag means death spoilers #ofmd s2 #buttons ofmd

[carrymelikeimcute]

As funny as it is to joke about Izzy not being dead and bursting into the inn covered in dirt to be like 'fuck you guys for being bad at first aid'...the idea is so horrendous to me that I'm not sure I'd want it to happen even if it was the only way to get Izzy back as a character.

He's been maimed, worked to breaking point, shot in the leg and left to rot in the bilge, dragged himself out to shoot Ed, thought he'd killed him, starved with the crew on a wheel-less ship, imprisoned twice, shot again and then died in Ed's arms.

If he has to wake up underground, in agony and dig himself out of his own fucking grave to dismantle the grave marker to get his leg back, all on his own...I would die a bit inside. I really would. Let my rat-man rest.

#ofmd #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death #izzy hands #ofmd s2

[maximwtf]

request for izzy hands x male or gn reader (romantic). reader is friends with calico jack (i luv will arnett so lets pretend calico is alive lmao). back on hornigold's ship, izzy, blackbeard, calico and reader were extremely close/ tight with one another. so yk how they hinted at calico and ed having relations w one another at some point? maybe that also happened with reader and izzy. like there has always been romantic tension between reader and izzy and they both acted upon it at some points but never really made anything official.

anyways, they each go their separate ways eventually. izzy going with ed and calico and reader being impulsive and crazy sons of bitches who just end up seeing wherever the sea takes them without any plans. years later, calico jack and reader reunite with ed and izzy (and now stede is there of course, as well as the rest of the crew). izzy and ed assumed reader to be dead for a very long time up until this point. idk just re-blossoming romance with izzy x a reader who is his complete opposite and is fucking crazy. first kiss possibly and idk i've never seen any fics where reader is friends with calico so! sorry if this is redundant or hard to read. english is not my first language. bonus points if reader can convince calico jack to take a bath (that man smells like shit 100%)

Izzy Hands x Reader

Words: 4k

Google Docs Pages: 6

Warnings: smoking, drinking, idiots in love fr, if you squint there’s some angst, mostly just fluffy banter idk I don’t usually write stuff like this :”D 

Opening: You go way back with Blackbeard, Calico Jack and Izzy Hands, all the way to the time you were a part of Hornigold’s crew. But eventually all nice things have to come to and end, and you all go your separate ways. You stick with Calico Jack and lose contact with Blackbeard, and Izzy whom you’d grown fond of. 

After a long time, you come across the two at Spanish Jackie'z, and realise that same old fondness never really disappeared. 

AN// Gn Reader! I meant to write this as a he/him, but I forgot xd. I’m so sorry this took me so long to make, omg :”D I got into so many other things after ofmd that I couldn’t bring myself to write the rest of the requests, but aye I’m here again and as good as new! (or maybe not, maybe I forgot how to write for these characters.) Anyway, I’ve had time to let this one brew. I’ve loved the idea since it came in, had lots of fun with this !!

Anyway I wanted to write this before I get Baldur's Gate 3, just in case I want to start writing for that and postpone these even more :”D So enjoy the last Izzy request I had left!! <3

“A light that never goes out.”

As famous as the ship of Hornigold’s might have been, life as a part of the crew was not the easiest. Hornigold wasn’t afraid of threatening his crew, nor was he playing around when he did so. You’d seen how he treated the young cabin boys on board, like disposable toys. And maybe he did have more respect for the older crew members, but that did not save you from the overly hard work and stress of the captain acting on his threats. Which you knew he would do with no problem and most likely with a smile on his face. 

So what did you do to get through your days on a ship like this? You drank with the fleet. And that you were doing now, knowing there wasn’t anything to be done for the day. The sun had already set and the sea calmed down to rest for the night.

An oil lamp on the table was providing some light, otherwise the space was rather murky. An empty rum bottle had fallen on its side in the middle of the table, a freshly opened one going across the table, person to person. There wasn’t any to waste, though you played around with the thought of sharing being caring.  

Calico Jack sat on the other side of the table from you, Edward closest to him. You watched the bottle being passed between them, the noise of Izzy moving ever so slightly behind you bringing you back from your thoughts. This allowed you to pick up on the topic of the conversation. Jack and Edward complaining about the captain, Jack clearly a little more buzzed based on his speech. You flashed them a lazy smile, agreeing with what they were saying that way. Not joining the conversation since the two of them seemed to be so deep into it. But it was nothing unusual. Usually as the night went on the two of them would continue to converse, leaving you and Izzy to the sidelines to do your own thing and jump in on the topic when you felt like it. But neither of you minded that, usually finding the silence comfortable or conversing with each other silently. He was pleasant to talk to, even if you knew he wasn’t so fond of Jack and his behaviour that had rubbed off on you over time. Though, you tried to keep it at bay when with him.  

You leaned back on your chair, stretching your arms. The action allowed you to see Izzy as he pulled a packet of cigarettes from his pocket. You gave him a look, not asking for anything but hoping he got the idea. And he did, he always did. Which you were glad of, since asking to come for a smoke with him felt like you’d turned into a begging puppy. Knowing the next time you or anyone else would get their hands on some more was unknown. 

So you excused yourself, leaving for the main deck with him. Not going far, near the railing. You leaned against the gunwale, eyes fixated on the light waves hitting the hull. Izzy followed suit, leaning his elbow on the gunwale before lighting the cigarette he was holding. He took the first drag from it before offering it to you. Of course he did, he never gave you your own. That would have been a waste of the small amount you each had, but that did not stop you from complaining about it. “Leftovers?” You raised your brows a little, still taking the cigarette from him. “Better for yer health,” was what he usually went with, like this time as well. “Fuck off,” you replied with a chuckle and took a slow drag. He didn’t say anything to that, turning his eyes to the water as well. 

You didn’t dare to smoke much of what he had left, handing the cigarette back to him. The silence around the two of you wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable, but you felt the need to break it. Something of the way Jack and Edward had been conversing had sparked the interest of talking within you as well. “You ever thought of leaving? Finding another ship to board?” You asked, curious of his answer to be truthful. Because you had, multiple times in fact. You weren’t even sure of the reason for your extended stay. Was it for the trio you hung around? Or was it the threats you feared? You had not a clue, but perhaps if he had thought of the same thing you could push yourself over the edge of leaving as well. “Hornigold may be half insane, but I’ll follow Ed. Doubt we’ll die here, but he won’t stay here forever.” The man next to you replied, taking a rather long drag from the cigarette before lowering his hand and blowing the smoke into the cool sea air. You hummed, tilting your head in understanding. Though, you couldn’t pass up an opportunity to tease the man. So you turned to look at him, pouting as you raised your eyebrows. “Oh?” Was all you had to say for his expression to drop, noticing the way you’d abandoned the initial topic purely for this. “Fuck off, rapscallion. You know what I meant,” he said but you counted on his tone of voice when deciding if he was truly annoyed with you or not. Of which you chose the latter. “What? You’re even pining for him now when you’re up here.” You laughed, following as he shook his head with a disappointed look as he stumped the cigarette. “I’m not going to start this with you,” Izzy mumbled as he turned his eyes back on you. Now clearly a little more annoyed but you said nothing of it, wanting to see where this would go. 

Izzy turned to leave, retreat from the situation. But you had your hopes up, in the sense that you didn’t want for him to leave yet but also hoped that he’d tell you if there was actually something going on. For the sake of your feelings. Which you weren’t going to admit you had for anyone, unless he spoke first. So you took a light hold of the fabric of his shirt, giving him space to leave if he wanted to. But he didn’t. “Come on, ye getting lily-livered on me? Was I right?” You dared to ask, maybe pushing the situation a little far but you took the risk. Though it didn’t seem like he was going to leave, at the very least. He opened his mouth, closing it soon after. Seemingly frustrated. But you saw something else within that initial emotion, hesitation was some of it. Something that had appeared when his back was turned to you earlier. When he thought you wouldn’t notice. 

“Well?” You hummed, an amused look on your face even with the slight anxiety building up within you. His eyes darted across the empty main deck before landing back on you. A sigh left him, pursed his lips in whatever emotion he was feeling at that point. It only making you wonder if you’d gone too far this time.

With a swift motion he placed a hand on your waist, enough to make you land against the gunwale, kissing you rather roughly. A gasp escaped you, eyes widening for a short moment before responding to the action. Something in his manner changed at your response, pulling away slowly and with more calculated movements. It was only when his hand left your waist that you took a breath, blinking at him as your mind tried to come up with anything to say. He didn’t seem to have a grasp on the current situation either, though he had a response in mind for what you’d been waiting for earlier. “Ye never are,” he said before heading back down to Jack and Edward. Leaving you out on the main deck for quite a while before being able to return as well. Only to not speak of that moment openly for a long time after. 

But that was years ago. And after that night and the many more you experienced, the fun came to an end. You all went your separate way, as much as you didn’t like the idea of splitting up in such a manner. But there was no avoiding it. So you chose to stay with Jack, seeing as you had known him for the longest and got along with him the easiest. And as much as he already had seemed like the obvious choice, it also seemed that he did not mind you tagging along with him one bit. 

And there had begun you and his long lasting journey to nowhere. You were finally free of Hornigold’s threats and work, having time to do as you pleased and go where you wanted. And so Calico Jack and you sailed with ships from place to another, keeping from trouble the best you could. Well, from time to time it seemed as if you were keeping him from trouble but at the end of the day it kept the both of you on the safer road. 

But this specific night, you were in the Republic of Pirates. Spanish Jackie'z had become a place the two of you would go to any time you were staying there, and that tradition was not broken this time either. 

The lights were dim where you were seated, at the corner. Not a table Jack would have chosen, but you preferred it. You liked retreating to it if things started getting too rowdy in your opinion, knowing no one would be looking for you in the shaded corners of the tavern. And that was exactly what you were doing now. Observing the people and the conversations happening around you while Jack was causing a commotion somewhere in the crowd. 

And all of that went along how it always did, nothing out of the ordinary. Well, until pirates you didn’t recognize straight away came in. A well groomed man in a fancy clean suit caught your attention first, causing you to furrow your brows in a mix of confusion and interest. He didn’t seem to belong, catching the attention of the other regulars you’d gotten to know over time. With him was a more dark figure, black clothing which blended him in with the rest of the crowd. Or would have if he wasn’t walking so closely to the fancy fellow. The thought made you giggle. But not for long, as your mind started to race when you saw the third party with them, a shorter man. Because the sight of him jogged your memory, made you shake your head to make sure you’d seen correctly. To not get too excited if you’d just been imagining things. But you hadn’t, it was him. And if that was true, the other man must have been Edward. 

Your eyes stayed on Izzy, blinking as the noise from the crowd blended into the background. As if a static had taken over your thoughts. You thought of going over, surprising him perhaps? But you hadn't the time to act on the thought. All the noise suddenly returning as Jack made his way to Edward, almost clinging to the man’s neck. A slight smile making its way to your face, a nostalgic one. Though, you feared what the good old combination of the two would mean for the new fellow. But for now, Edward seemed to be introducing your mate to the man, so you felt at ease with leaving Jack with them. Surely he’d behave….

Your eyes returned to Izzy, finding the man staring at you just as you had done to him. An awkward smile tried to creep its way to your face, feeling the urge to go up to him and have a drink. But the man seemed as if he wanted nothing to do with the place, as that he would have already left if it hadn’t been for you. So you stare back at him, nod your head towards the door he’d just entered from. A subtle invitation for a smoke which you didn’t have, but he didn’t know that when he nodded back at you, accepting the offer. 

So you got up, made your way outside where he had escaped as soon as possible. You took a breath to prepare for a talk, but he beat you to it. “How you are still alive, I cannot say,” he hums, demeanour much calmer than before. His form leaned against a wall, a lot less tense eyes travelled to you. Giving him a chuckle you tilt your head. “Jack is who he is, but he would never-” But it took the mere look he gave you to not finish that sentence. Not what he had meant. “That man may be half insane, but I figured you’d gotten yourself killed elsewhere by now.” He explains, eyes focused on a rum bottle he was opening, figuring out he wasn’t going to get a smoke from you. “Hah! You’d have to find something deadlier than a lead marble to take me down,” you laugh as you take the bottle he was offering. “Though, I’m not sure I can keep dodging the bullet that is an unbathed Jack…” You mumble with a careful expression before taking a swig, earning a low chuckle from Izzy. The angle allowed you to see his face better, confirming that he seemed to be in a better mood. Not as grumpy looking perhaps. But you said nothing of that, letting him off the hook this once. 

The evening starts to resemble a night soon enough, making you and Izzy start to drift over to the shore. At some point, you notice Edward, Jack and the new guy follow, joining in. You wanted to stay longer, to get to know the new man better and to get to talk to Edward as well, but Izzy seemed oddly annoyed with the company getting bigger. So you share a few drinks with them, learn that the name of the man was Stede Bonnet and go your separate ways. 

Separate ways, as in you and Izzy walked over to the jolly boat and waited for the rest of the group to be done with their chatter. Though, it seemed an awful lot like that wasn’t happening any time soon. But while observing the three of them from afar, you noticed that while Stede didn’t seem to be the biggest fan of Calico Jack and the effect he was having on Edward, there was something different in his eyes when he looked at the two of you. 

The man who was now laughing with Ed might have rubbed off on you in the years you’d known him and as much as Stede disliked the persona, something in his chest warmed up when he saw Izzy follow you around. The way he didn’t disturb your rants, listened if not always so keenly and chose to hang around. Because that was something Stede hadn’t seen Izzy do willingly with anyone but Edward. And something about that made the man take peeks at the two of you sitting together, happy for Izzy in his own way. Izzy might have not liked him, but Stede never wanted to make enemies, so perhaps this was good for the self isolated man. 

But you knew nothing of those intentions. Only that his staring was putting you off, not sure what it was about. You could see there was no malice in his eyes. So you couldn’t blame him for staring, for you had been doing that exact same thing to Izzy just back at the bar. But perhaps for different reasons, to which even you hadn’t really given into. It couldn’t be, because all the years at sea should have washed away any previous feelings. There shouldn’t be anything left but an empty table to start over from. A kind of erosion caused by separation. But that thought was too deep to dig into right now. 

You couldn’t quite hear what the three further away were planning, having seated yourself in the boat. Izzy leaning against the head of the small vessel, bottle in hand. The sounds of seagulls far off in the distance, in town. They didn’t bother to come to the shore so late into the night, knowing there was still food to steal where people were buzzed and forgetful. 

“Suppose we’re tagging along.” You start off in order to break the silence which had crept over the two of you. Izzy swirled the liquid in the bottle, raising his gaze over to the sea. “Ain’t that the fucking dream,” he replied but it seemed he mostly meant your companion, not you. But that didn’t prevent you from acting offended. “Don’t pretend like you didn’t miss me at all,” you laugh, the sound of it clearing any doubts from you being tipsy. “Never said I didn’t, ye made that up.” Izzy is quick to answer, allowing himself to drink the leftovers from the bottle, seeing as you’d already had your share and above. You pout at the sight, drawing in a breath. “Hm, maybe I should have been an author after all in that case.” You raised your brows, amused. “Can ye even read?” He asks, eyes back on you. The question receives a chuckle from you before you shake your head. Your drunken mind wanted to say, ‘no, but I can read the tension between us’, but something in you decided against it. Perhaps another time. 

Another moment of silence surrounds the two of you, and for a moment you think you were able to hear the conversation of the three men further up the shore. In reality you should have been a psychic of sorts to have been able to hear them through the sounds of the light waves hitting the stern of the boat.

You smile to yourself, thinking of something to say. “I see yer boyfriend got taken in the end?” You hum, mostly amused but in truth you did want to know if that was what had happened. The question gets Izzy to turn to you swiftly, but the tone of his reply is not affected by it. “He’s still rubbing off on ye. Suppose it’s better you’re tagging along, we’ll get you back on fuckin’ track.” He shakes his head in a disapproving manner, but you see the hint of amusement after his own reply. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you insist. Perhaps he was right, but what else could you have done? You’d been with that menace of a man for years, it was only a matter of time until you would have become a copy of him. Well so you had feared. “Was welcomin’ ye back,” Izzy explains himself. But you had already caught on, just felt the need to be difficult. “So you did miss me, hah!” You chuckle, a little louder than you intended. Perhaps wanting the confirmation more for yourself than anything. In hopes that the earlier thought of erosion had just been a figment of imagination. But the comment only gains a look from Izzy, getting you to lower your voice. 

You drag yourself to a better sitting position, leaning towards the man a little. The bottle in his hand was clearly already empty, yet he attempted to take a swig from it. Perhaps to put out something within him, maybe to get out of the awkward environment you insisted on creating to amuse yourself. But in that moment you let any logical thought go. Taking a gentle hold of his wrist, enough to let him pull away is he so pleased. Yet tight enough to pull him towards you. A test of sorts, to see if he was up for it. To try and light a spark once more, see if it would catch fire this time around. And it takes him quite a while to decide, reluctant. Yet, with a swift motion he kisses you. Giving in to your almost childish suggestion. But that was what lit the spark once more, the same feeling from the past returning. As quick as he had been to pull away, you could have sworn the nostalgic feeling of it all lingered in the air. 

His eyes were focused on you, a hint of fear in them. You couldn’t understand why, almost coming up with a conclusion as to what you had done wrong. Had you taken too tight of a hold of him? Did he regret what he’d done? Wish to take the action back? It scared you. But you weren’t going to let him see that, instead offering the frightened man a smile. Maybe it eased his mind on the matter, leaving more of a conflicted look on his face. 

You let your mind at ease with the thought of all the years that had passed. What did you know of where he’d been and what trouble had he faced? Perhaps he would tell you one day if you stayed a while longer. But right now, it seemed as if he’d been craving for such attention from someone, yet never received it. And if that was the case, you wanted to be a source of that for him. 

But that train of thought was interrupted early on by a gasp. Not the kind you’d hear when someone was frightened or surprised, but the sweet kind. The kind you hear when someone gets something they didn’t expect. The sound was soon covered up, but you had already spotted the source of it. Stede. You’d seen his eyes leave the two of you, furrowing your brows in a mix of confusion and interest. The man seemed oddly invested in the two of you, but for some reason tried to hide it. You weren’t sure if it was for his or Izzy’s sake, but you were sure Izzy had heard it as well. 

As you keep watching, the others swiftly turn to Stede. Not worried, but alerted by the gasp. “Perhaps we should head back. I had something left to do,” the man speaks and this time loud enough that even you can hear it. You can almost also hear the awkwardness in his tone, hoping neither of the men had noticed him staring. Earned a chuckle from you. You watch as Stede gathers himself from the sand, the others getting up as well with questioning looks. You turn back to Izzy. He had definitely heard the gasp as well, but the annoyance from it hadn’t affected him nearly as much as the kiss. Which you found endearing, glad that it hadn’t ruined it for him even if he seemed to have some kind of silent banter with Stede. 

The three men walk up to the jolly boat. You smirk, seeing Jack wobble a little on his feet as they get to the waterline. You got up to meet him, not aware of your own tipsy state and managed to tumble forward a little. So much for the sea legs as you feel Izzy grab the back of your shirt to steady you again. Though he doesn’t hold on for long as he catches up on your intent, allowing you to wobble against Jack, pushing him just enough that he lands into the water. Only, if it hadn’t been for Izzy you would have gone down with him. 

But with his help you had succeeded, laughing as the man groaned in the shallow water, throwing playful curses at you. “Not before you bathe. You reek.” You say, as if you’d grown some standards after hearing Izzy complain of your companion’s personality sticking to you. You hadn’t but perhaps you wanted to pretend you had, for Izzy. 

You give Stede a slight giggle, watching the man step away from the splashed water. Only then noticing how the splash had wet your clothes as well, giving a grumble about it. Though it was all in good fun. “After he’s clean, we’ll set sail,” you give them a firm nod. 

You watch as Jack collects himself from the water, seemingly trying to pull Edward in as well. You smile at them in amusement, the nostalgic feeling creeping back up. Even with the fancier fellow tagging along, it felt like a puzzle being put back together. And you hoped that it would last a little longer this time, not having to go your separate ways again. Because even one night was able to prove to you that you had missed them. Missed the banter, seeing Calico Jack and Edward together and mostly Izzy. And the spark that had lit up once more hoped that Izzy felt the same way. At least about you. 

#izzy hands x reader #izzy hands #israel hands #ofmd #our flag means death #our flag means death x reader #ofmd x reader #x reader #izzy hands beloved #yar har i love pirates

[crystalsprinklescake]

Izzy was such a delight in ep 5 but I haven’t heard anyone talk about the emotional gut punch of Izzy falling back into his old Blackbeard crush with the line WHat did Blackbeard say about me Specifically? So let’s talk about it. Let’s talwk about it.

The man is still recovering from his trauma. Yes, he’s decided to move forward, but he’s still putting all that anger and despair into his Mind Box and separating himself from reality to keep himself safe for now.

I think the leg got bit by a shark/I fucked around and found out mind fuck is. Fine. For now. But not letting go of the Blackbeard crush? Yikes.

It really makes me feel like Izzy’s romantic/sexual feelings for Blackbeard were really always an escapist fantasy. He realized too late that Ed hated himself/his piratesona to the point of waaaay above average violence and self-destruction. Which is why it’s a bit concerning Izzy still hangs on to the fantasy of his Blackbeard crush after that fucked up shit storm just happened and left him with cut off body parts.

Blackbeard died. Blackbeard is dead, there is no other way for Ed to move forward if he is going to keep on living (although I just read a short post about how some folks are afraid Ed is going to slip back into his old ways. Tell me more).

So, Izzy doesn’t just love a fantasy, he loves a ghost. He’s not ready to meet Ed where he’s at right now. And that’s fair after what they have all been through. He’s not ready to confront that relationship. He needs. A safe space. So does Ed. They are healing away from each other so far and that makes sense

As much as I’m firmly in the Izzy needs a found family to heal and not a romantic relationship… I dunno, it seems like he needs a new baddie to pine after to get a fresh start and let go of his trauma with Ed.

We’ll have to wait and see. I trust the writers will deliver something emotionally satisfying. like they always have. Ed/Izzy or Steddyhands would be…. Not that. It would be. Emotionally catastrophic. Even if they all healed. I think it would still lead to old wounds resurfacing. So, I’m not really worried about the show going in that direction. And hey, if it did I’m sure the writers could come up with something great and make me change my mind and love it. But. Right now. Well, it leaves a very bad taste in my mouth. But, if anyone reading this loves those ships, no hate, we are all at the same table enjoying the same meal (the show itself) and whatever keeps you happy and engaged with the show is what’s important, we need that engagement if we are going to get a third season! Enjoy.

#ofmd #our flag means death #s2 spoilers #izzy hands

[jellybeanium124]

Izzy: Ah! It's done! Maybe next time he'll think twice about not doing his fucking j--

This is what Izzy says after throwing the unicorn legs down on the ground in front of the crew, and right before his first prosthetic gives out and he falls to the ground in 2x04. Obviously the last word was "job." I don't think I've seen anyone talk about this line and it fucking fascinates me. I have three main questions.

Who is "he?"

What was the job "he" should've done?

Why does Izzy think "he" should've done his job, and why did he remove the unicorn legs as a way to make "him" think twice?

There are two main answers for #1. Frenchie and Ed. Frenchie is the one whose job it was to kill Izzy. However, Frenchie is in the room, and Izzy says "he" and not "you," and the Izzy & Frenchie dynamic is not a big dynamic in the show. Izzy & Ed is. So "he" is Ed. Ultimately, it was always Ed's job.

What's the job Ed was supposed to do? Take the other leg and then kill him. Izzy seems to expect him to do as much in 2x02.

Why does Izzy think Ed should've done this, and why is removing the unicorn's legs revenge? Well at this point, Izzy doesn't see himself as part of the Revenge crew. He sees himself as a rotten leg, a dead man walking (he says "I'm already gone" later in this scene). Izzy's always been very purpose driven, and the purpose that has been driving him for ~10 years is gone. He got Blackbeard, and it didn't turn out to be the thing he always wanted. What's left for him except to rot and die?

As for the second half of that question, I think there's two good answers and the truth lies somewhere in the middle. First, Izzy's drunk, thinking irrationally, and has become fixated on the unicorn. Second, the unicorn is the figurehead on the ship, a symbol of Stede and his ship, and therefore something Stede cares about. He knows hurting Stede will hurt Ed, and he wants to destroy something he thinks Ed cares about by proxy. Izzy recently learned that he and Ed do not have the relationship he thought they did, and Ed doesn't care about him as much as he thought. Izzy's own pain won't hurt Ed, so he has to hurt something else (I don't think this is entirely true, by the way, given how Ed reacts to Izzy dying, but Izzy definitely thinks he doesn't matter to Ed literally at all right here).

I also think it's interesting that Izzy frames this issue as being about their jobs. Ed's job was to take the other leg and kill him. In saying this he reveals he hasn't totally worked through not-needing-Ed-to-be-Blackbeard yet. He needs Blackbeard to kill him! It isn't until the crew make him a part of the ship and a part of the crew that he can fully let that need go, because he finds a new purpose: being a member of the Revenge crew. And that's enough.

#see I told you I was lying and would still izzypost #ofmd #our flag means death #author is not an izzy hands apologist #there are so many things we could be talking about about this guy instead of the abusecourse which is going nowhere

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Initial reaction to episode 8:

Full spoilers. Don't read if you haven't watched. But don't be afraid to comment if you agree or disagree.

Izzy got 1 week (at most) of a life where he felt like he could be himself.

That's it.

This man lost so fucking much, clearly his family, his past crews, himself. So the show said, hey. Let's spend ALL season showing him he is loved, then tell the audience this is a good ending because hey, now Ed can be himself for no loose ends.

I know we might get zombie izzy. I know buttons is probably a deus ex machina(yes, I gasped SO FUCKING HARD when the seagul landed), but I am fucking livid.

I'm sorry this is negative right off the bat. I cried yeah, but it was at Izzy apologizing for not letting Ed grow. The 1 final sin he hadn't been punished for. He apologized and lost limbs for the British thing. That was IT. The only thing Izzy haters had against him. And here we are.

Now that izzy is dead, their old Unicorn, the NEW Revenge can go live on.

Ex-fucking'scuse me?

The worst part is I knew he'd get hurt with that speech.

Congrats, izzy, you got 'woman in the fridged'-ed. Your death now ends Ed's problems without him needing to solve them. Ed doesn't need to work on rebuilding relationships because there's nothing left. Stedes is not mad at Ed, so no hard conversations there, and the crew he hurt is gone now. Izzys gone. All wrapped up in a nice little bow.

I knew. But I thought I'd be wrong. That Ed would get help. That izzy would apologize, lay their dying, and suddenly be alright via bird or someone would do SOMETHING. But no. I got to see Izzy die. In a fucking comedy show.

A comedy show about love and family and community and self acceptance. That kills of its 1 character this season who had a self realization arc outside of a romance.

Season 3 will be about either 1.) Stede and Ed being hunted and needing to fake their deaths or 2.) The crew of the 'new revenge' going on adventures. Or 3.) Zombie izzy getting the fuck out of there and finding love.

Now:I am in denial.

Con came out, mainly because of this community and this role. If he knew his character was dying, I don't think he'd have gone to cons/tied himself in with this community to the extent he has. You know? Like... if my role i got a ton of praise for was about to be offed, id smile at conventions, but already emotionally start distancing myself from the community. UNLESS-We know Jenkins would tell him the fate of his character, so...idk.

More ranting but-

I feel like we got more time watching Ed be silly than mourning his friend of potentially decades. I hate the fish plot. We already knew he had adhd and that this was a whim. 'Ed going out, catching dinner, getting kicked back' could have just been 'Ed rows out while the ship's blow up'. They didn't need Ed and stede to fight in episode 7, stede could have just gotten into a fight trying to defend Ed at the bar, maybe eds too drunk idk. Episode 7 was written like that just to have a cliffhanger resolved in the next episode. It's just...

I loved every fucking izzy scene and both love/hate that we get a flash of the shot that kills him. It's real, yeah. Izzy dies here because he was still originally in that pirate drama he made up in his head. Izzy dies a normal death. Ed asked if he needed help so many times. But izzy didn't want it.

Izzy hands wanted to die this entire time. He wanted it. That's how I'm interpreting this bullshit. He still tied himself to blackbeard, and wanted to die with him.

Maybe that's romantic, but I think it's gross and a mishandling of his character. If izzy believed that i wish we got to see it as the audience, Especially how some forms of suicidality can be expressed by 'one last hurah'.. But they didn't. All that, and the show wants us to believe he's moving on up to episode 7, until now we know izzy was jealous this whole time??? So this izzy was just izzy waiting until Ed was accepted by the crew to die. Till Ed didn't need him to be his punching bag anymore. When Ed healed he saw no point in living. 🙃 that a character who was suicidal's good ending is offing themselves when they aren't 'needed'?

Maybe izzy will come back, totally himself, ready to try to live a happy life. But I have very little fucking faith.

Getting personal: but izzy was my fucking guy. I related to his struggle to be seen/heard/taken seriously. To be liked or seen as worthy of time and attention. A character who was trying his best for the people he cared about. Who had valid concerns and was talked down to. Who craved belonging. Enough that he's desperate for scraps of friendship. A person who was feared but never understood.

To give him 'love' by a community and then have him die TWO DAYS LATER-

I hate it. I genuinely hate it. Fucking hell. Especially how quickly everyone moved on. Izzy would have been wrecked or at least shaken up if his crew died yet. WE'RE MAKING JOKES RIGHT AFTER HES BEEN BURIED. ON TOP OF HIS FRESH GRAVE. I hate that izzy got buried on the land (in general. Bro should have been buried at sea) especiallg the labd ed and stede now get to peacefully live on. I hate that con was fucking smiling, the calmest most authentic he could and ATE that fucking scene.

The thing that gets me is izzy is the cliffhanger. But at the same time, Buttons' turning into a bird represented change and acceptance. Think, we had Buttons' turning scene, the song 'seaguls', then izzy standing on deck reading the note. There's a real chance this is implying that izzy is free now.

I don't hate the show. I don't, but i fucking hate THIS. Con did Such an amazing job. But I hate that I won't know. That izzy being alive will be confirmed in a year when con accidentally posts something revealing he's on set, or Jenkins on Twitter telling us he's dead, us not believing him, then we watch all of s3 and cons not there. That I could spend the next 2 years of my life writing about a character who won't get mentioned again.

THEY COULD HAVE CONFIRMED IT IN THE END CREDITS. SOMETHING. Ground shaking, some hint early in the season about rebirth and brining back the dead or have the sword fall. Idk. SOMETHING.

I'm just.... not doing great. I'm 'excited' to watch it again :/ but fucking hell. I don't know if I want to. I still have a fic to post that I started pre season 2, but after that I might need time. I just...Izzy wasn't me, duh, but he was, you know?

Izzy didn't deserve death for being harsh, or fucking up, or living. The fact his redemption happens after they sand down izzys rough edges feels gross. Like. "Here you go audience He's 'good' now, NOW feel sad about his death!"

And I'm sorry. But fuck that. I have so many mutuals who say they didn't like how quickly izzy became soft. This fucking hurts.

Because izzy has been a dead man walking for years. Ever since Ed and he grew into whatever this is. He could have been given a chance. He wasn't. All because our protagonists are Ed and Stede. WHO I ACTUALLY LIKED THIS EPISODE. But I can't think about that because I just see Ed finally treating Izzy like an EQUAL as he's fucking dying. I was always okay with the idea of Izzy dying. But not like this.

So yeah...sorry if this is rambling, had a shit day before I watched the ep and the ep didn't fucking help! But here's to all us izzy fans hoping for a better s3 for him (my guess now is izzy is actually dead, I have absolutely 0 faith he'll come back, as izzys death was framed as a positive thing for Ed. Yes the framing is there. Izzys body is safe under Ed and Stedes watch and not drowning. But still. 0 faith. If we dont get s3, then izzy is just dead and everyone moved on the SAME DAY)

Side note- I hate the only mention of Izzys given name 'Israel' was by Ricky. Fucking...okay. add that to the pile

#izzy hands #ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2 #ofmd s2 ep8 #ofmd s2ep8 #i fucking. . #i hate this #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd season 2 spoilers #logging off for a bit #good luck