#help how does tumblr work im really lost | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vetyr · 1 month

Note

hi, i ireally love your work and i don't know if you've answered this before but, what kinds of studies do you do or how did you learn color theory? i wanna get better at rendering and anatomy but im having trouble TT TT

Hi! Long answer alert. Once a chatterbox, always a chatterbox.

When I started actively learning how to draw about 10 1/2 years ago, I exclusively did graphite studies in sketchbooks. Here's a few examples—I mostly stuck to doing line drawings to drill basic shapes/contours and proportions into my brain. The more rendered sketches helped me practice edge control & basic values, and they were REALLY good for learning the actual 3D structure behind what I was drawing.

I'd use reference images that I grabbed from fitness forums, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, and some NSFW places, but you could find adequate ref material from figure drawing sites like Line of Action. LoA has refs for people (you can filter by clothed/unclothed, age, & gender), animals, expressions, hands/feet, and a few other useful things as well. Love them.

Learning how to render digitally was a similar story; it helped a lot that I had a pretty strong foundation for value/anatomy going in. I basically didn't touch color at all for ~2 years (except for a few attempts at bad digital or acrylic paint studies), which may not have been the best idea. I learned color from a lot of trial and error, honestly, and I'm pretty sure this process involved a lot of imitation—there were a number of digital/traditional painters whose styles I really wanted to emulate (notably their edge control, color choices, value distributions, and shape design), so I kiiind of did a mixture of that + my own experimentation.

For example, I really found Benjamin Björklund's style appealing, especially his softened/lost edges & vibrant pops of saturated color, so here's a study I did from some photograph that I'm *pretty* sure was painted with him in mind.

Learning how to detail was definitely a slow process, and like all the aforementioned things (anatomy/color/edge control/values/etc.) I'm still figuring it out. Focusing on edge control first (that is, deciding on where to place hard/soft edges for emphasizing/de-emphasizing certain areas of the image) is super useful, because you can honestly fool a viewer into thinking there's more detail in a piece than there actually is if you're very economical about where you place your hard edges.

The most important part, to me, is probably just doing this stuff over and over again. You're likely not going to see improvement in a few weeks or even a few months, so don't fret about not getting the exact results you want and just keep studying + making art. I like to think about learning art as a process where you *need* to fail and make crappy art/studies—there's literally no way around it—so you might as well fail right now. See, by making bad art you're actually moving forward—isn't that a fun prospect!!

It's useful to have a folder with art you admire, especially if you can dissect the pieces and understand why you like them so much. You can study those aspects (like, you can redraw or repaint that person's work) and break down whether this is art that you just like to look at, or if it's the kind of art that you want to *make.* There's a LOT of art out there that I love looking at, probably tens of thousands of styles/mediums, but there's a very narrow range that I want to make myself.

I've mentioned it in some ask reply in the past, but I really do think looking at other artist's work is such a cheat code for improving your own skills—the other artist does the work to filter reality/ideas for you, and this sort of allows you to contact the subject matter more directly. I can think of so many examples where an artist I admired exaggerated, like, the way sunlight rested on a face and created that orange fringe around its edge, or the greys/dull blues in a wheat field, or the bright indigo in a cast shadow, or the red along the outside of a person's eye, and it just clicked for me that this was a very available & observable aspect of reality, which had up until that point gone completely unnoticed! If you're really perceptive about the art you look at, it's shocking how much it can teach you about how to see the world (in this particular case I mean this literally, in that the art I looked at fully changed the way I visually processed the world, but of course it has had a strong effect on my worldviews/relationships/beliefs).

Thanks so much for sending in a question (& for reading, if you got this far)! I read every single ask I receive, including the kind words & compliments, which I genuinely always appreciate. Best of luck with learning, my friend :)

#answers to asks #illustration #art advice #art help #drawing #digital art

3K notes · View notes

charmedreincarnation · 11 months

Note

Hi Maya I was one of your first anons back in March and I manifested my dream life. i just wanted to share some things that helped me, and hope we can all pass some knowledge so we all get our desires life. I did, you did, and everyone reading this can and will so let’s all try to help out by sharing a little of our journey. I’ll never create a blog because tumblr is a mess, so I’ll just share them here bc I trust you as a creator and I hope you agree with what I’m saying. Even if you don’t these are my assumptions and my truth

il get into my methods in one second but users of tumblr there are only 4 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE LAW (Inspired heavily by you bc I used your blog religiously) I will say you’re kind of too nice and I wish I had someone to yell at me like this, and tell me to stop being a victim!!! So if it sounds aggressive it’s because it is in the best loving way possible.OKAY SO.

★you need to understand that you want to fulfill yourself in imagination because you don’t care about the desires only how you feel about it. Bare with me it sounds stupid I know. But I don’t care about men or how they feel about me. I just want to feel worshiped and love, and I could fulfill that in my imagination. I don’t care about money??? It’s fucking paper !!! I just want to feel secure and financially free and want the feeling of buying my favorite clothes without looking at the tag. I GOT THE SAME FEELING FROM PINTREST EVEN WHEN I WAS POOR GODDAMNIT. I didn’t care about getting all As in school when I’ve always believed school is not a representation of intelligence. I wanted to feel recognized adored and respected which I had to feel for myself in my mind before it projected. I don’t care about looking skinny, I just wanted to feel snatched, I wanted to be envied, and feel pretty. And in my mind everyone wanted to be me even when I was ugly and fat. BUT I DIDNT FEEL FAT. Even with no change in the 3D I had my desires. This applies to all your desires, and you really need to understand that.

★you can affirm,visualize, understand states, understand non dualism, use the Bible or Torah m, wall twerk and say “I AM THAT BITXH,” use sats YADADAA . No one cares it doesn’t matter. you don’t have to feel anything or, even believe in wth you’re doing. As long as you think that having it in imagination means it’s yours that’s all that matter. I’ve read so many teachers, Neville, Abraham, Abdullah, Edward art, paid coaches, and they all do different things but say the same thing. FAITH IS KEY. That’s all that matters. Don’t let anyone you otherwise or tell you what you have to do. All teachers were once students, all success stories were once struggled failures, all masters were once lost okay. You are god so have some faith in yourself.

★YOU ARE GOD. You know what a god is, you know how a god works, you know god can do anything with a snap of a finger, kill anyone with a thought, look anyway it wants, have anything everything and create whatever. You are an omnipotent loving creator so create and give yourself everything.

★you can’t over consume, you can think from lack of whatever, and doubt can’t hinder you unless you think it does. Having a desire does not mean you’re lacking or else having the wanting for it would mean that too no? When creators say that I want to slam my head against the wall. Even now I have all my desires and I still think about them constantly. Thinking of new clothes to buy with MY WEALTH, I think of new food to eat that won’t even affect my SNATCHED BODY, i find new places to try and explore bc MY SOCIAL CIRCLE IS HUGE AND IM SO LOVED, I think of new makeup up to try to enhance my GORGEOUS PRINCESS FACE. I think of it in the same way from when I didn’t have my desired (I always had them in imagination but you know what I mean.) so there is no thinking from lack, or else you’re always lacking it lmfao the fuck. Anyways I doubted my abilities up until I manifested my dream life. I was okay with it in imagination and whether it reflected or not it was my escape I was content with. DID YOU SEE THAT. I had doubts up until the very end, and it doesn’t mean shit unless you think it does. Just affirm having doubts and obsessions only speed up your results. That’s really all it is.

Now to my story if anyone cares. I won’t make a blog for reason number 2 and 3 listed above. That’s all you need but if you want more info for curiosity go for it. I know I was curious and that didn’t stop me from getting my dream life. Anyways I have the same story as about everyone else here. My life sucked, I found the law, and it worked! HOORAY!!! But how did I do it???? Easy peasy, in a couple of steps.

☞ I tattooed my four rules above in my mind. When fear and doubt emerged I sunk that shit like the titanic and went with my laws that I created. It’s literally called the law of assumption like come on, stop fighting with yourself when you assume and create reality.

☞I ignored anything that I didn’t agree with. Sometimes I’d get so mad and be like WHAT NO WHY WOULD THAT BLOGGER OR COACH OR ANON or whoever say that?? But am I dumb ??? each of us have our own reality our own bubbles. The fact that it works for them and not for me started to only motivate me more. It doesn’t work bc I assume sooo… sooo why not just assume the opposite and focus on my rules like they did. The law is always in effect and working. Either it’s in your favor or it’s not. It’s up to you

☞I used affirmations bc repetition is the only thing that works for my logical brain. Anything can change with repetition. It’s basic science. So in the morning and night time I would affirm. ONCE. Repetition meant for me doing it everyday and not wanting. The rest of my day was lived in my imaginations. And the affirmation was to remind me in my vulnerable state that I already have my desires. That’s why my affirmation was “I have my desires no matter what, and everything I do brings them to me faster than the speed of light” it was kind of funny and made me chuckle but I accepted it as facts. Look guys…

☞I didn’t repress myself. If I cried or yelled or told myself “FUCK YOU” it wasn’t me tf. It was the devil or something. Be like those Christian fuckers who when their child comes out as gay…it’s the devil within them or whatever. I would talk to myself, yell when doubt emerged and when my thoughts weren’t the ones I wanted. It wasn’t fucking me so get the fuck out I have my desires so who tf are you ??? It will feel weird but you’ll get used to it trust me. If you’re uncomfortable it’s working. Getting rid of bad habits and your comfort in dwelling in bad thoughts is uncomfortable but it’s worth it.

I manifested my dream life back in March. I LITERALLY WOKE WITH MY DREAM LIFE. A complete 180. I won’t talk about my past life bc I completely revised it and I’m the only one who remembers so for the most part it feels like a long nightmare that has past. I’ll just talk about what I changed instead because that’s the stuff we all want to hear. Anyways I’ll just post some of my list here.

♥ my life feels like the song rich kids by freak ocean

♥I’m a pretty spoiled princess who gets everything I want but I’m still kind

♥I revised my entire family from looks to personality to zodiac to religion and etc. i rewrote my story which included my family

♥I have natural admired intelligent

♥my family has a net worth of 500 million dollars, and my entire family stems from old money. (Think aristocrats not slave or colonization money)

♥I can play many instruments and speak many languages

♥ I am 5’2, 100 pounds, I have natural stunning vixen beauty, and the most desires body in the world. I’m the beauty standard and people either want to be me or date me. I am naturally skinny and have no worries about my weight, I have clear skin that only gets clearer with my skincare routine, and I have my desired personality where I’m kind but also don’t put up with any shit from anyone because I know I’m that bitch. I also have great style and embody a princess !

♥my life is a combination of my favorite watpadd stories, Gilmore girls, gossip girl, and mean girls.

♥ too many people pursue me I have too many options

♥I have a perfect school life, social life, family life, friend life, and people always wonder what I did to be “so lucky it’s unfair”

♥my family has multiple mansions in America, monoco,Australia, france, and China.

♥I’m a daddies and mommies money girl

♥I put myself first (I HAD SUFFERED TOO LONG I NEEDED A SOFT LIFE)

♥everyone’s purpose it to make my life easier and make me happier

♥I’m spoiled and privileged in every aspect of my life

♥I’m a master shifter, and manifester

♥I revised my age to 14. I was 18 and graduating but I wanted to redo high school how I had envisioned it all my life

♥I have a “cool mom” people are always jealous how lucky I am

♥I have my main estate in Hollywood hills with my family that’s in a gated, gorgeous, gate kept neighborhood. It is 30,000 sq feet with my dreams decor, dream cars, dream pets, dream house help, dream room with all my stuff saved on Pinterest including decor, furniture, clothes, shoes, makeup and skincare.

♥everything good in my life I have manifested and it’s too much to list. THERES NOT REASON FEAR OR WAIT. Do what you want and assume it still works and it will.

You honestly said it better than I could have. Literally every single one of these points are so valid :)!! I’m glad you think I inspired you love but all I did was allow you recognize your own godly abilities. I’m very proud of you, and have fun girl 🥹❤️

Also. “All teachers were once students, all success stories were once struggled failures, all masters were once lost okay. You are god so have some faith in yourself.” This one million times !!!!! Invest your faith into yourself more than anyone else and you’ll see how fast your reality conforms. I also adore your point about the state of lacking bc I never believed in that. If wanting your desires insinuates it’s not yours, we would have no thoughts since that’s where it all originates from. In fact Edward explains it pretty well.

When Edward looks at lack, he sees it as being something that is only brought about by the individual. He believes that your own actions, thoughts, and attitudes will bring about an artificial scarcity of resources. Edward says that this artificial lack of resources is not actually real—it exists only in our minds, as we focus on the things that we don’t have rather than the things that are available to us.

He believes that true lack only exists when someone has no access to resources—whether those resources be financial, physical, mental, or emotional. When someone has access to resources but they squander them or don’t use them to their advantage, it isn’t a lack of resources that is at fault—it is the individual’s personal choices and attitudes that create the feeling of lack. Same way we see attractive people feel ugly though they have women or men chasing them, modeling opportunities, and experience many examples of pretty privilege lol. You’re a hot girl.. you’re just not using it to your advantage, same way you have everything in imagination and access to anything yet… nothing bc of your own perceptions. That’s not lack. Simply inappropriate usage of recourse. A waste for better use of words.

#law of assumption #manifesation #manifesting #my asks #reality shifting #self concept

3K notes · View notes

intrinsicepiphany · 3 months

Text

Okay tumblr lets talk theories again.

(my brain rot + knowledge of religion has me all up in Hazbin Hotel right now.)

Today I want to talk Biology! Mostly because I made the poor choice of going to Twitter's chaggie tag and looking at the comments...

So can we discuss Why do so many people keep trying to apply HUMAN biology to the Half-Demon Nephillim daughter of an Arch-Angel?!

Okay I'll start at the begining and work my way to the reasons why if Charlie really wants a kid with Vaggie both of them being assigned female at creation probably isn't going to matter.

Let's start with Lucifer!

So as far as has been shown in the show Lucifer is an original Archangel even down to his lovely 6 red wings. This makes him one of the most powerful beings in heaven.

(If we go by bible text he was actually a favorite until his dreams of free will led him astray and depending on the text he merely has to admit he was wrong and ask for forgiveness to return)

Now looking at everything after this fall he has never lost his Angelic Abilities. His default powers are still angelic gold.

We do see he also has a Full Demon form when he is pissed. Interestingly enough his crown also doubles as a halo in this form. Also note for later just how much Charlie resembles him in both forms.

This suggest that at root biology Lucifer is still an archangel with demon traits. This combination is most likely what makes him the strongest being in hell by a long shot. The only reason others even have power is purely because he doesnt care enough to flex his power and has no desire to actually rule.

Now on to Lilith!

What do we know about Lilith?

Well we know she was a created human not born.

She was Adam's equal

And she left and got with Lucifer before the fall.

So here is the deal... I dont think Lilith can be classified as a sinner. She didnt die to end up in hell and in fact she fell before hell was really a thing. she helped create it after all. (Plus you know Charlie exsists)

So what IS Lilith? I think Lilith as one of a few Actual Demons. And if we have to classify her she'd be closer to a Sin. I actually think of Lilith as the Sin of Pride in Hazbin Hotel not Lucifer. We are even told that She created pentagram city and developed hell while lucifer kept to his workshop in depression.

Now let's talk about this scene for a second. Lilith fell from heaven/earth Alive and possibly even immortal since human kind was immortal before Eve took the apple.

Lilith gains power from her fall into hell. She develops demon like attributes and seems to have musical based magic. She also seems to retain or get immortality. So what does this fall mean? It means that Lilith was NOT HUMAN by the time Charlie was born.

So what does this mean for Charlie?

Well for one Charlie is NOT just some Hellborn. She is by Definition a Nephilim but she is not half-human. She would most likely be considered a Half-Demon, Half-Angel Nephilim.

This would explain her expansive (if never used) power base. The official power ranking has her tied with Lilith with only Lucifer being more powerful. Which makes complete sense. She is the Heir to the entire thing after all. (I actually think this is why Alastor couldnt make a deal for her soul and settled for a favor instead)

She also inheirited Angelic powers from her father. As seen by the fact that her default magic is gold. Which means she has angel blood in her veins. Lets be honest i wouldnt be surprised if she ended up bleeding gold in the future.

In fact she seems to have inherited most of her abilities from dear old dad.

Im pretty sure that just by shear ability and magic if Charlie wanted a kid she could probably create/magic one into exsistance no matter who her partner was.

But lets review Vaggie just for fun! Because I have thoughts

What do we actually know about Vaggie?

Well we know she is an angel. I say is because I dont think Lute or Adam actually have the power to cast an angel out of heaven AND she gets her wings back. This would mean she is not actually a sinner she would be closer to a fallen angel like lucifer.

We know she speaks Spanish and seems to be of Hispanic nature. BUT! Do we know if she was ever really human?!

We know Adam claims to have named her Vaggie. This could suggest three things

1) exorcist take on a new name when they join. But if this was true why wouldnt she leave this name behind and return to her human name once in hell? It would have kept her secret better and you'd figure she would want to leave behind the negative feelings that would come with her exorcist name.

2) Adam in his self-centered ways misheard her real name (maybe something like Aggie from Agatha or Maggie) and thought she said Vaggie or actively chose to misinterpret her name and she never cared to correct him. BUT Once more why would she not just return to her real name once with Charlie in hell?

Or 3) And this one is the real kicker. Vaggie is a Heaven-born Angel.

If the answer is 3 than it would imply that she was never human which brings her closer to lucifers biology.

Some other interesting things to consider about this last theory. Lute and Vaggie resemble each other a great deal. In fact, all the exorcist seem to have a similar body type. (I mean you could argue its the uniform but even without the uniform the resembalance between lute and vaggie is uncanny) and if I remember correctly at one point the exterminators are refered to as sister? I mean this could mean sisters-in-arms BUT What if ALL exorcist were heaven-born?

If they were never human this could explain both their ability and their desire to slay sinners. Much like Sera they wouldn't have any sympathy for the dammed because they wouldn't have any possible family that could end up down there. They would also have Very little connection to or concern for former humans. After all like Adam said they had their chance and they screwed up.

So in the end what does this all mean?

Well I actually already kind of said it

1) Fandom really needs to stop applying human biology to Charlie. She is a half demon half archangel Nephilim with incredible magic.

If charlie wants a kid she can probably magic one up no matter the obsticles please stop asking artist and writers how it is possible for her and vaggie to have a kid/get pregnant if they are both women - the answer is Charlie Magic.

2) all 4 of the above have the potential to be way stronger than they have been shown in the show.

And

3) Charlie is a potential BadAss and is just too nice to go full tactical nuke - this will be covered in my next ted talk.

#hazbin hotel theory #hazbin hotel spoilers #hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #lucifer morningstar #lilith morningstar #vaggie #chaggie

154 notes · View notes

sidesteppostinghours · 25 days

Text

VOTE BLAZE FOR FHR TUMBLR SEXYMAN

now why on earth would i, a humble man, ask the people to vote for blaze over ricardo? what basis could i possibly have to convince you to consider him over (arguably) los diablos most eligible bachelor?? friends, i come to you with two simple arguments:

1. blaze shows a surprising amount of depth when you dive under the flashy exterior

2. i cannot stress enough how funny it would be to watch ortega lose in the first round

blaze is undeniably a suave, arrogant asshole who desperately needs somebody to kick his ass. hes a little prick to the puppet (if theyre male, if theyre female he switches his tune Damn Quick) and he somehow managed to fumble chen??? which is frankly embarrassing for him.

However. however. hes shown in both very small interactions when you meet him and during the actual fight to be a competent, strategic hero who cares about the people. as step points out, when the puppet stumbles over him his immediate reaction is to treat them like somebody who needed help. during the fight, he first takes the time to strategize, making sure to dial back his powers to make sure nobody gets hurt– to the point that he hinders himself. even chen says that blaze always had careful control, to the point where if you fry him in the meeting room, chen suspects somethings up.

hes also surprisingly reasonable about step, giving serious thought to what they say and do regardless of how cruel of a villain they are. yeah ok ortega has the 'sympathetic' villain relationship status but does that really do anything about his perceptions of them??? he still readily calls them a monster during the villain reveal. meanwhile it takes one(1) conversation with blaze to get him questioning his bosses, and it literally does not matter how many people youve killed, he ends up pestering alvarez about it anyway. i firmly believe that hes put a lot more thought about the problems in the system he works under, even if he puts more faith in it than he should.

anyway thats enough serious propaganda, heres the sillier ones: hes such a loser. like 24/7 nonstop. this man is utterly pathetic. i know i talked about how good he is as a hero but listen to me. he gets all dismissive about a step that has less than 55 infamy, but i have 9 steps (though i only talk about 4). i have lost to him by accident Once. i have to codedive so i can lose to him On Purpose for the achievement it is so bad. it is so funny watching all the ways he can eat shit during that fight. truly the pinnacle of bisexual failboy.

I ALMOST FORGOT THAT HE ACCIDENTALLY KINDA OUTS HIS CONNECTION WITH CHEN BECAUSE HE WAS BEING SALTY??? LIKE

POV YOU KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MARSHAL OF LOS DIABLOS SECRET FOR MONTHS ONLY TO POTENTIALLY EXPOSE IT TO A RANDO BCAUSE YOU WERE MAD ABOUT BEING EXES.

it has also come to my attention via @allens-chocolate-dreams that rat king can become his fan if step falls out the window again and this is extremely important to me.

can rat king be a fan of ortega??? no, because ortega is a loser whos immune to telepathy. very clear whos superior here imo. oh and im probably legally required to say that he has fire powers which makes him objectively hotter than ortega.

finally and most importantly,

if blaze wins i will draw ric dying in a glue trap.

#did i search up blaze sections within the code just to reread them and make points for this propaganda?#dont even worry about it #im. really really sorry this turned out to be more of a character study than a propoganda post for sexyman????#ig this is for the literary analysis whores #honestly my favourite scene is when he kills a civilian by accident and i Really wish that was touched upon more #because jesus christ. thats /messed/#i hope he becomes sopping wet in the next game about the horror of accidentally murdering someone #anyways yes #vote blaze fhr tumblr sexyman 2k24 #captain blaze #ortega #fhr #pulp speaks #fhr sexyman tournament

55 notes · View notes

satoru-toji · 6 months

Text

hELPP

im trying to find a chrollo/reader fic on ao3 but i can’t find it 😫😫 i’m pretty sure the author had a jjk name or also had some jjk works as well. i also pretty sure they had a tumblr but idk!! it hasn’t updated in over a year, maybe even 2 years bc it’s on an indefinite hiatus and there were like currently 7 or 9 chapters + it said it would be complete with 15 chapters. anyways the plot:

soulmate!au (kinda)!! set before the york new arc

reader works at a library and chrollo keeps on visiting her under the guise of being a uni student and they talk/flirt every time. one day, chrollo uses one of his stolen abilities on her to get her the confess what she wants/thinks about him. after that, chrollo basically asks her out for dinner at his apartment. while chatting during the dinner, chrollo takes off the bandage and reader touches his forehead and sparks fly bc her nen is essentially unlocked and she kinda goes into shock but in a more horny/aphrodisiac way and chrollo helps her a bit before she falls asleep. after she wakes, chrollo explains to her that she’s from a clan with a nen that basically enhances other people’s nen through a promise and explains who he is and they’re already at the ily stage but they don’t say it bc she wants it to be special lmao (she’s not entirely ok with what he does but she also doesn’t and the love overwhelms it lmao) she tests her reawakened nen by thinking about chrollo in danger, hurt, etc. and it immediately tires her out so she slep slep. after a while, she wakes up again to find shalnark there. they briefly met before this in the library but shalnark used it as an opportunity to see if her being in the lost/forgotten clan true and now that it is, he slightly overwhelms her with the she’s going to be the queen of the spiders or something and leaves after chrollo asks him to. after that, chrollo comforts reader and they talk and then things get slightly heated before they’re interrupted by illumi being illumi and wanting reader but gets obviously rejected and i think gets a broken wrist from reader. chrollo then suggest for her to use her abilities again to heal and to make the promise pact on illumi to protect her and stuff like a knight in exchange for some power. after he leaves, she immediately gets tired again. she doesn’t want to rest since she rested all day but chrollo urges her to rest and suggests them going to her apmt after to make the dinner date even lmao

they’re in her apartment now, chrollo is making food again. they talk a bit more with what’s revealed. chrollo makes reader promise to not follow after him if something happens to him and she’s obviously upset bc they just like promised each other to support/protect each other and how it’s unfair and all that bc he still has the mindset of being dispensable for the troupe. she promises him in turn if he promises her—but not really due to the nen promise so they work around it—to fight for his life for her and then things get spicy and during that, she promises chrollo to give him everything if he promises her to be not hard on himself, love and appreciate himself, etc. and they’re so close to fucking lmfao and he does promise her so she seals it w a kiss on the forehead and then they start <3 she’s so close to love bombing and chrollo says it first and he’s like this love bomb is the sex love bomb, i’ll make the real ily special like you want so she says ily back and then he’s inside her and yea <3 afterwards, they rest a bit then someone rings her doorbell and it’s her neighbor kurapika asking to hang out and it ends there 🥹

it’s so weird bc usually on ao3, it would show the work is deleted if you bookmarked it but i can’t find it in my library 😭😭 i wouldn’t have thought about removing it from my bookmarks but ig i accidentally did 🥹

#hunter x hunter #hxh #hxh x reader #chrollo lucilfer x reader #chrollo lucilfer #chrollo x reader #hxh chrollo #chrollo smut #chrollo x you #chrollo x y/n #hxh fanfic #chrollo fanfic

48 notes · View notes

angelbxxy · 1 year

Text

Hey y’all idk how this works I’ve never been struggling this hard before. My two daughters lost their dad my fiancé a week ago from a heart problem we didn’t know he had. It was sudden and now I have to plan a funeral alone. I never imagined that he would be gone we were just talking about getting a life insurance policy like a month ago but never did it. I already have our two daughters I gotta take care of on 1 income now I don’t know how I’m gonna pull this funeral off of anyone can help us send him up the right way plz consider donating 🥺😭❤️

Cashapp $prettymom18

January 15th 2023🚨⏰⚰️

Update!!!!!

Still waiting on donätîons I currently only have $250(I took out a loan that’s all I was approved for)/$3,400(cost of funeral service and funeral home plus casket. The $3,400 DOES NOT INCLUDE THE BURIAL 🪦🥺😭⚰️😣♥️

Please help us if you are able and I would appreciate it if you can not help us financially, a reblog and prayers will always be appreciated.

RIP my one and only Prince Charming 🥺❤️🪦⚰️

Cashapp $prettymom18

UPDATE JAN15th 8:54pm

Still 0 help but I’m still great full for all the reposts and likes if you know anyone who may be able to help or has a big following on here PLEASE don’t hesitate to tag them in ur repost or just tag them on the comments ❤️🙏

PS my friend said if someone wants to donate but they don’t have cash@pp I can give them her Venmo or chime or PayPal so if that is what is stopping you from donating DM me and I can send you her vënmø or paypãł

Thank y’all again♥️

XO XO XO and GOD BLESS🙏🏽

Katie 🥰⚰️🪦🫶🏽👩‍👧‍👧❤️‍🔥💔✝️

I probably should’ve put this in the original post but I’m having trouble getting donations and I’m doing this all by myself his family hasn’t even called me since I told them he passed and I was a foster kid so I really don’t have anyone to help. The only person that is helping me is financially struggling too but she took out a loan bc my credit sucks so I was denied anyway thank u if u have anyone on here who u talk to a lot see if they can repost it too I wanna get some type of traction lol

UPDATE JAN 16th

Tumblr BLOCKED ME FROM MESSAGES WTF HAPPENED!!!! Someone plz help me get my messages back

Plus still no donations so please keep reposting and thank you for all the support from the reblogs

Jan18 update

Thank you to whoever sent $5 that’s the first and only donation I’ve gotten so far

Please if u can’t donate repost and tag your friends!!! I don’t know what I’m going to do if I can’t raise enough for the funeral, I don’t even have enough for a cremation

Jan 20 update

Im $30 short to start a payment plan with the funeral home I have an appointment tomorrow morning at 9am PLEASE SEND HELP either repost or dono

Anything helps us!

Help us bury my kids dad and my fiancé!

GOD BLESS PRAYERS ARE WELCOME TOO!

Jan 30th update♥️❤️‍🔥🥺😭🚨

So I DIDNT get enough money to have a funeral for my fiancé 😖😭 we had to cremate him and they put me on a payment plan. I still want to have a repass but I need to get a hall or something to gather everyone. The cheapest one I’ve found is $350 for 5 hours

ANY HELP WOULD BE APPRECIATED AND HELPFUL

I want to celebrate his short life and the memories we all have with him ♥️

It’s been 3 almost 4 weeks since he’s been gone and life being a widow mother of 2 is a lot harder than I ever imagined. Please repost even if you can’t help ❤️‍🔥

@localmacguffin @laymedowninsheetsoflinen @enderamethyst @transgendz @othert @pixelstx @spongebobssquarepants @queenpandaxoxo @pukicho @shareyourdollar @mutual-aid-booster @horangi @jacklant3rn @bugs-for-hugs @difficult @commie-cosmo @yellowgirl93 @racism-inc @mousedetective @vaspider @shineemoon @queenpandaxoxo

121 notes · View notes

tojisun · 2 years

Note

I’m new on Tumblr so I’m not sure if this is how I request if it’s not then please do ignore but if it is then honey would you do a little something with Toji inspired in Off To The Races by Lana Del Rey but without any mention of drugs, please, I already have too many troubles with family members regarding that lol 🥲

If u can do that I throughly appreciate that I was listening to that song the other day and couldn’t help but imagine Toji as our old man 🥺 (even tho I’m 22 I like that age gap girl I can’t with him 😩)

OMFG THIS TROPE AND SONG MADE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH TOJI EVEN MORE!!!

okie so i dont really know what it is you had in mind but i hope you will like this one <33 im sorry it took so long, but thank you so much for this req babes and take care!! // off to the races

!! age gap (reader's in her 20s, toji’s in his late 30s), clubbing, brief mentions of alcohol, possessive toji, hinted sugar daddy toji, smut (slight praise kink and dacryphilia kink)

special shoutout to the amazing feya (@iwaizoomiess) for proofreading my longest smut work and hyping me up <3

There is a steeping desire in Toji’s loins as he watches you dance with your friends, your hands clutching theirs as your hips swayed and your waist rolled along the beat.

The club is packed and the many coloured lights flicker about but even then, Toji’s full attention is just glued on you. People have even paused to watch you, admiration and desire coursing through their veins.

Toji knows the feeling. Oh, how he knows the feeling.

You are beautiful as you are. Even with loose pajamas and messy hair; even when you are trembling in sadness and crying, collapsing in Toji’s arms, and whispering wet pleas that he does not leave you—and he would never—you are beautiful.

But there is a certain beauty rolling off of you tonight as you seize control and attention on the dance floor. You are alight like a beacon of wet dreams—graceful even amidst the hyper bodies, seductive even with the smeared mascara dripping down your cheeks, and so, so tempting. But they could never come close and touch you because everyone knows. Even though they can’t see Toji, they know.

You are off limits.

You will always be off limits to everyone because Toji has no plans of letting you go. Not in this lifetime, not in this universe.

I’m blessed, Toji thinks as he tips his snifter into his lips and gulps the brandey as though it could quench the thirst that’s been bubbling from the pit of his stomach. There’s a goddess on the dance floor and she chose me.

Toji places the glass back on the table and stands.

It’s time to bring you home.

You giggle, head thrown back as laughter racks your body from your belly up, shaking your shoulders and crinkling your eyes until all the colours blend together, suspending the world in a singularity driven by the unabashed joy and the booming music. Belatedly you note that there are tears running down your cheeks, washing away your carefully crafted makeup in the wake of infectious laughter.

For the briefest of moments, it felt like fire thrums in your veins rather than blood. You feel the scourge of power beating in your chest that muffles every fear you have ever known and every anxious thoughts that have eaten you up until you are all hollowed.

A touch on your shoulder pulls you back into reality and you peel your eyes open, blinking blearily as your surroundings zone back in. The fire sizzles, leaving your tongue heavy with the phantom taste of ash. The world of music and loud voices, of hands that wander and minds that spiral—this is the world you come to.

(It is the world with him, however, and you feel like you could breathe again.)

You turn, almost lost, feeling the stuttering in your heart as you search for steely eyes. Ah, you think once you meet them, there they are.

“Darlin’,” Toji whispers, stepping into your space until he is all you can breathe in. “Look at you.” Scarred palms cup your cheeks, stroking where the damp skin is at and certainly erasing more of your makeup, but you stay rooted in your place, peering up at him.

Toji bends down and noses at your hair, hands trailing from your hips until they are clutching your sides. “So pretty for me.”

A low whining sound reverberates from your throat, your hands coming up to fist his jacket. He chuckles, nuzzling closer, looking pleased at seeing you melt because of him.

“Toji-san,” you whisper, voice breathy and light. Your eyes flutter at each soft caress over your hips where Toji’s thumbs swipe, your skin dimpling at each of their digs.

“Yes, baby?” He asks, voice grave and deep, almost guttural in desire.

Your words melt on your tongue, and your mind swims, unable to string any more sentences, rendering you speechless. You are left to gasp out his name in response.

Toji chuckles, endeared and in awe at how drunk you are off him.

“My pretty girl,” he says, pressing a kiss on the crown of your head. “Can’t even think right. S’why you need me, yeah?” He drops his lips on the tip of your ear, hovering like a teasing kiss. Goosebumps rise on your flesh, your cheeks bursting in flames as hunger expands in your stomach.

“S’why you keep making me come for you.”

Toji’s no longer asking. His voice dropped and you blink, breath hitching at the low timbre of his voice.

“N-no,” you find yourself replying, voice quiet and weak—just like your denial.

Toji huffs a humourless laugh, shaking his head as he does so, before pulling away.

No-!

You jolt, hands coming up to grab his leather jacket and yanking him back in your space. He stumbles, eyes growing wide at the action before quickly regaining his footing, his arms encircling around you to keep you two from slipping. Still, despite the fumbling, you do not look away from him, refusing to break eye contact as you find the right words to refute your lie.

Because yes, he’s right. Yes, you need Toji. Yes, you want him to chase you wherever you go. Yes. Yes. Yes.

There is not a world where you do not want Toji bursting from your shadows, ready to pull you back into his embrace because home—even after travelling miles away, hopping around from one hotel to another with your pockets heavy of Toji’s love—is with him.

There is not a world where you do not need him. Where you do not need his saving.

“Toji-san, I–”

Toji catches your lips and kisses you like he knows.

He gathers you in his arms, pulling until you are impossibly flushed: your breasts are flat on his chest, your hands clumsily finding leverage in his embrace. A hand cups the base of your head, holding it securely as Toji moves to deepen the kiss.

His teeth nip your bottom lip and you gasp, instinctively pulling away, but Toji growls—a warning—and you freeze, falling lax and melting, putty in his arms as his tongue finds yours. A mewl creeps into your lips and Toji devours it whole.

It is Toji who pulls away and you gasp, breathing in air hungrily, your hooded eyes watching the way Toji’s tongue pokes out to lick the sliver of spit in the corner of his lips.

“Taste good?” You ask, your arms coming up to tangle around his neck loosely.

Toji grins. “Y’r pussy tastes better.” He kisses your forehead softly as though he didn’t just render you speechless. “C’mon princess, lemme show you how much I missed you.”

“Okay.” You kiss his chin.

He smiles. “Good girl.”

Toji pushes the head of his cock in slowly, dragging out the intrusion causing the stretch to burn deliciously. You whine, lifting your hips up from the bed, but Toji just tuts and presses his free hand flat on your belly, pushing you back down.

“Be patient,” he murmurs, going back to pressing another inch in, his sharp eyes zoned in on your trembling hips and your glistening heat.

“Fuck,” you mewl, clawing the sheets, numb to everything but the steady slide of Toji’s cock. You tremble under him, skin flushed and warm, your breath coming out ragged.

Toji hums, his brows furrowed as he reels from the pleasure. You’re squeezing around him so well, plush walls twitching and hungrily sucking him in. He can feel the sweat building on his palm where it lays on your belly, but Toji stays resolute in taking things slow.

Another inch breaches your walls and Toji watches raptly as you throw your head back into the pillows, exposing the column of your neck.

Beautiful. You are utterly beautiful.

“Toji-san, please!”

Weeping eyes turn to him and Toji almost loses his resolve, feeling the last tendrils of his patience slowly ebbing away. His hips stutter as he breathes in heavily, grasping at his slipping sanity before he can ruin his hard-work.

“Just a few more inches, princess. A few more, okay? You’re doing so good for me, baby.” Toji presses a kiss below your heaving chest, peppering a few more over your ribs.

You nod weakly, a broken hum of, “Okay,” making it past your lips before another moan weaves out from between your teeth as Toji pushes himself in more. Your legs jump, feeling the head of Toji’s length brush a sensitive spot along your walls.

A long keen rumbles from your throat, your teeth digging into your bottom lip as you twitch at the sharp pleasure that engulfs you whole.

“Fuck, y’feel amazing,” Toji hisses, shaking from the exertion, his free hand gripping your waist to tether himself as he feels you squeeze tighter around him. “Just. Just a lil’ more, baby. We’re almost there.”

You whimper, sobbing as you nod weakly. Toji croons, pushing the last inch in, stuffing himself to the hilt. You garble a half-moan and a half-cry, dizzy at the feeling of being so full, and Toji pauses, overwhelmed by how snug your pussy feels around him.

“Good, right?” Toji asks after a moment of numbing bliss, head turned to peer at you and smiling softly as if he’s not hilt-deep in you. You hum shakily, eyes closing as Toji wipes away your tears. He presses kisses over your shut eyes before straightening up.

Wide palms grip your sides as Toji slowly pulls out, not quite dragging out the slide this time as his patience finally reached its limit, but still not quite frantic yet either.

Yet.

He watches you breathe in deeply and quickly, in awe of the way your body involuntarily flinches at each thrust.

“Love you, baby,” he says, before slamming in.

You don’t even get to process Toji’s whispered confession as pleasure bursts in you.

A scream scratches at your throat and you jolt, dizzy from the sudden change in pace. Toji grunts, eyes screwed shut, his hips beginning to piston quickly. He rolls his hips, angling them to make sure that he hits the sensitive bundle of nerves in you at each thrust.

Your mind is mush.

You moan, sounds chopped up at each heavy thrust of Toji’s cock. Your hands fly to his back, holding on for leverage and scratching when the euphoric ecstasy feels too submerging.

“That’s it. My pretty girl, taking me in so well. You missed this, didn’t you? Missed me?” Toji drawls on, scarred lips tugged up in a feral smile as he watches you.

There is something so maddeningly beautiful in the way your eyes roll back, your jaw dropping open, and your tongue lolling out. Drool drips from the corners of your lips, making your saliva-slick lips glisten. Tears clump your lashes together, smearing your eyeliner and mascara as it runs down your face in a mess, and yet you look so marvelous this way.

Incoherent. Stupid. Drunk off his cock.

“My pretty, pretty girl. I love you like this. Can you even hear me, princess? Anyone home?”

You can only reply with a warbled moan. Toji laughs.

“So good to me. For me. Oh, doll, what would I ever do without you?” Toji tosses his head back after another sharp thrust, your wet walls hungrily gripping his length as if desperate to keep him nestled in you. He grunts, goosebumps racing over his skin as his orgasm builds.

Toji bends, mounting you, wet lips closing around on a hardened nipple. At this angle, Toji is left to hump your pussy, switching to shallow, but still powerful, thrusts. Your hands find purchase in his hair and you pull, fisting black strands as Toji sucks on your nipple.

“Toji-sa’!” You scream, body tensing as the blinding pleasure finally begins to spill over. “Gon’ cum! Gon’ cu-!”

Toji growls at the painfully tight squeeze on his cock, biting down on the fat of your tit as he digs himself snug in your walls. With a deep groan, Toji spills himself in you. Your hips twitch as Toji fills you up, and you mewl at the feeling.

Toji slowly removes his lips from your nipple and rises slightly, closely hovering over you. You sigh as he moves to plant soft kisses over your swollen eyes and on your throbbing lips.

“You did amazing,” Toji whispers when he breaks the kiss. You hum, brows pinched as soreness finally creeps in after the lust starts to dwindle away.

Toji pulls out slowly, whispering a soft apology as you hiss at the movement, your face contorting in discomfort. He drops down beside you and wraps you in his embrace gently.

“Lemme take care of you,” Toji says and presses a kiss on your forehead.

“M’kay,” you hum tiredly.

He smiles, his gaze proud and affectionate. You turn away, shying away from all the sudden attention. Toji chuckles, endeared, before kissing your lips lightly again.

(“Do you?” He asked, his hand coming up to pluck his glasses from his face and rest them on the table.

“Do I what?” You asked back, rising from the loveseat and crossing the space to stand in front of him.

Toji’s lips curl in desire at seeing you wear one of the dresses that he gifted you. He studied you as you walked, going parched at how beautiful you are, especially dressed for him. Dressed by him.

“Toji-san?”

He danced his eyes up your body slowly, ensuring that you knew that he had been checking you out. Toji is delighted at seeing the blush on your cheeks.

“Do you really wanna stay with me? I’m years older.”

“Yes.”

Toji’s heart thrummed at your immediate response. You took his silence as an incentive to go on.

“Toji-san, I want you. I love you. You think I care about your age?”

Toji grunted. “A fifteen-year gap ain’t a lil’ normal, kid.”

You shrugged before rounding his table and gingerly making your way to him. Toji dragged his chair out slightly, giving you space so you can sit on his lap, and his hands came up to hold your waist tight, guiding you over carefully.

His eyes locked in on the way your dress rode up your thighs, teasing Toji even more. He thumbs the exposed skin and trembled at the sharp gasp you let out. Toji paused and looked back at you.

“See,” you began. “This—the way you look at me—is something I don’t want from anyone else but you. I want you to be the one loving me, Toji-san. I want to grow old with you. So what if you’re years older? We just. We love each other, anyways, right?”

“Yes.” It was Toji’s turn to be quick with an answer. “We do.”

“Good.” A pause. “So stop with the questions and kiss me.”

Toji grinned, huffing a laugh. “C’mere then.”)

#suns.rq #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro x you #toji smut #jjk x reader #toji fushiguro #toji fushiguro smut #jjk x you #jjk x reader smut #fushiguro toji x reader #i loved loved writing this. thank you so much!#i hope i did the prompt justice #i too love the age gap w toji. idk. it makes me feel small in the safest way #<- hope that makes sense #hypnocountrymusicfunnyfan #ask #suns.f #suns

603 notes · View notes

kasshole69 · 2 years

Text

truly, madly, deeply - 2

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader, Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanoff, (eventual) Natasha Romanoff x Reader, (eventual) Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: You’d been living a good life, well as good as it could get with how full of lies it was. Why? It was the only way to get by when you were an unmated omega with an uneasy past. That's all flipped on its head when you see a matching soul mark on two certain avenger, leaving your lies to crumble right in front of your face.

A/N: okay so now this is where stuff happens lol. i crossposted this on ao3 under the name kasshole and it felt like it got really big just overnight so ill probably post there first (also im not very good at using tumblr) whoop whoop anyways on to the chapter!

chapter 1 chapter 3 ao3

Your two friends rushed you to the hospital as fast as they possibly could. What the hell happened? Yeah, lately you hadn’t been feeling good, but when did it get so bad that you were passing out? Brooke carried you into the hospital doors, and a couple nurses rushed over to ask what happened.

“We don’t know! She was having trouble walking this morning, and then doubled over in pain and completely passed out.” Lexi explains, and Brooke gently sets you down on a bed that a nurse had gotten ready.

One of the nurses had paged a doctor, who made their way over to ask a few questions. “How long has she been feeling pain?”

Lexi shrugs empathetically. “We aren’t entirely sure, but she’s been missing work every now and again these past 3 month. It just never seemed this bad.”

“Alright. We are going to take her back to do a few tests and see what’s happening. One of the nurses can lead the two of you to the room she’ll be staying in,” the doctor said before taking two nurses with him further into the hospital.

After about 2 hours, a nurse came back to your room for the time being, pushed your unconscious self in your bed, and hooked up an IV and heart monitor to your body. She stated that the doctor would be coming in after he got the test results.

You looked terrible. Lexi and Brooke had seen you sick before but never to this extent. Your skin was as pale as paper with deep purple bags under your eyes. It genuinely looked like you were on death’s doorstep. Little did they know that you were.

The doctor entered the room with a solemn look. It was hard to reach a conclusion with you still being asleep, but all the tests lead to one answer. Touch Deprivation, common in omegas who have unknowingly met their soulmates or have lost their soulmates. Without proper care it will only get worse, eventually turning fatal.

“Seeing as you stated that she has been in pain for about 3 months and hasn’t gotten much physical contact in that time, we don’t have a lot of options. Do you know if she’s come into contact with her soulmate? Looking at her medical records, it doesn’t seem like she has met them yet,” the doctor explained, giving Lexi and Brooke a hopeful look. If you had met them, all they needed to do was find them and they could start the recovery process.

Lexi and Brooke felt a sense of dread overcome them. Was this because you knew who your soulmates were? Did they unknowingly help you nearly kill yourself?

“As far as I know she hasn’t met them, but she does know who they are,” Lexi says in a small voice, feeling like she is betraying your trust.

“She does? Is there a reason she is avoiding them? If they are abusive we will keep a close eye on them while they are here.”

Lexi looks down at her feet. “It’s not that. She just… she didn’t want to meet them. Her reasoning made sense at the time but now…”

The doctor frowns. “Well, do you know who her soulmate is?” —————————— You could feel yourself starting to wake, but moving felt like such a hassle. Honestly, you can’t remember the last time you weren’t woken up by an outside source; whether that be your alarm, your roommates, or like more recently; searing pain. It feels like it’s been ages since you’ve been this comfortable; covered in a warm blanket, laying on a warm pillow with deft hands lightly combing through your hair. Wait, hands?

Before you’ve completely processed that thought, you're instinctively pushing yourself and the assailant off opposite sides of the twin sized bed. You hear them let out a yelp, clearly not expecting to be thrown off, and you hit the ground hard. Sitting up, you take in your surroundings and realize you’re in a… hospital? You follow the cord of the IV in your arm to the connected bag and blaring heart monitor right next to it. You can hear your attacker get up, looking around to find you. You back up, heart racing, before they finally face you, and you see one of the last faces you were wanting to see.

Wanda Maximoff.

She looks at you with a shocked, concerned expression, saying something you don’t pay any attention to because of the fact that one of your godforsaken soulmates is right in front of you, and has been coddling you in this tiny bed for God knows how long. Right as you’re about to say something, the door to the room flies open. Three nurses and a doctor, all with frantic expressions burst into the room, taking in the scene until they see you sitting on the ground. Once they spot you their tension seems to dissipate, and the doctor takes a step towards you.

“Oh, thank goodness. It was just a false alarm,” presumably referring to the still blaring heart monitor. “Glad to see you're finally awake, Kass,” the doctor says, helping you up from the ground while a nurse went around the two of you to turn off the heart monitor.

“What happened?”

“You were brought here by your roommates yesterday morning when you passed out,” the doctor answered.

Passed out? You hardly remembered yesterday morning, it felt more like trying to remember a dream than something that actually happened. And this happened yesterday? If this happened yesterday then-

“I have work! Do they know I’m-“

“From my knowledge, your roommates have contacted your workplace and have been handling everything you might have missed.” Hearing that, you let out a relieved sigh. Lexi and Brooke are handling things for you and you couldn’t be happier. God, you had no idea what you would do if you were alone.

The doctor takes out their clipboard full of important-looking papers. “Now to get on to exactly why you're here. After you were brought here, we ran some tests while you were unconscious. From the results and the testimony from your roommates, we deduced that you are suffering from touch deprivation, which can be fatal in some cases.”

Shit. This was the last thing you expected it to be. You know for a fact you hadn’t accidentally met one of your soulmates before today and seeing as you spent so much time with Lexi and Brooke, this never seemed like a possibility. How did this happen? Was it a mental thing?

The doctor continued saying, “Seeing as the pain got so bad that you had passed out from it, along with the fact that your roommates said this had been going on for at least 3 months, without having gotten any treatment this was becoming fatal rather quickly. If we weren’t able to find one of your soulmates so fast, we wouldn’t have been able to do much for you.”

You had looked at Wanda, who was looking rather timid and was unable to make eye contact with you, not at all looking like the fierce and unforgiving alpha the media painted her to be.

This was all too much, you had nearly died and for what? For your freedom? Look at where that got you, the exact place you didn’t want to be. You put your head in your hands, trying to fight back the tears threatening to spill from your eyes. Everything was going to change now, you would have to move in with the Avengers, probably quit your job with how far the compound was from the city. You hated this, being unable to control the changes that were being thrust upon you.

The doctor must’ve been able to sense your distressed pheromones telling you, “You have been making stellar progress as you’ve been asleep, you certainly aren’t in as much pain as before, correct?” You looked back up and slowly nodded. “Fantastic, the steps to recovery are rather simple, you and Wanda will be staying here for another day or so, or until the pain is completely gone. The two of you will need to make physical contact as much as possible, whatever form that takes is up to the two of you. Also scenting is known to ease the pain as well, or marking, which is known to relieve the pain immediately.”

“Um, I think I’ll just stick to physical contact, thanks. Is there anything else?” you asked, hoping to get a second to process everything.

“Not at the moment, some nurses will come back in shortly to do a check up and bring some food. Is there anything you need from me?”

“Nope,” you quickly stated. God, how you just wanted some peace and quiet, already feeling a headache start to fester but now you questioned whether it came from your annoyance or from your recent diagnosis.

“Alright, I’ll come back later to check and see how things are going. If you need anything let one of the nurses know,” the doctor said before him and the rest of the nurses left the room, leaving just you and Wanda alone once again.

The two of you stared at each other for a long minute, seeing who would break the ice. You were giving the alpha a cold stare, clearly making her uncomfortable seeing as she was giving you the same timid look whilst anxiously shifting her feet. You quickly got bored of the intimidation, turning around in the bed to lay down facing away from her. You hear her move but don’t realize how close she is until you can feel the bed dip from her taking a seat right next to you.

You freeze up, stopping yourself from wanting to move closer since the painful tingling was starting to come back and she was the only thing that would relieve the pain.

Wanda takes a deep breath before softly saying, “I’m sorry this is happening to you.”

Sorry? Why is she sorry? You both know she played no part in this happening to you. She doesn’t even know you, so why the hell should she care?

“Yeah,” you state coldly. You do not want to talk to her, you don’t even want to think about her. There were so many thoughts swirling through your head right now. Thoughts about why Wanda is here. Why did she come and help you? What’s in it for her? Thoughts that just keep contradicting each other. One part of you wants to get as far from Wanda as possible, while the stupid omega part of you wants her to get impossibly close because she just smells so good and having her hold you felt unbelievably nice. You had too much pride to just give in like that though, so even though it hurt you didn’t move.

She speaks again, “I’m glad you're getting better. We were all worried about you.”

“Why?” you say in the same tone as before.

“What?” Wanda asks, clearly confused.

“Why were you worried? Why do you care?” you say as you sit up to face her. You stare at her confused expression with a scowl.

“I- um, because you're my soulmate?” she says, even more confused than you. You knew she was going to say something along those lines and it did nothing but piss you off.

“So? You don’t know me! I could be a criminal! A murderer or, or, something! Why would you save someone you don’t even know?” you nearly yell at her. It pissed you off to no end. Why would she help someone let themselves get to this point? Someone who wouldn’t even take themselves to the doctor so as to not damage their pride.

Wanda’s face scrunches up in anger and comes back at you with the same amount of force, “What difference does any of that make? I would’ve helped you whether you were my soulmate or not, but it’s because you are that I was able to help you! Not only that, but it’s kind of in my biology to want to help you!”

“I don’t want your help!”

That seemed to have struck a nerve in Wanda because her face didn’t hold anymore anger, replaced with sadness as she seemed to shrink in on herself. Looking at you with confusion and grief, “Why?”

“Because I don’t know you! You might be fine with helping whoever, but I’m not fine with whoever helping me, especially not with the kind treatment I need!”

If your first statement didn’t hurt Wanda, this one certainly did. She looked down, fiddling with her hands. She looked like a kicked puppy. Maybe it was the omega side of you that was making you feel this way but, you couldn’t help feeling guilty looking at her. You could understand why she was upset to an extent, not only was it just pure instinct that made her want to care for you, but helping people was what she did for a living.

“Sorry, I just-“

“No, it’s okay. I understand,” she says as she looks up at you with a solemn smile.

Before either of you can say anything else, a nurse comes in with a tray of food. Wanda had moved to a chair near your bed so as to not be in the way of the nurse. She gives you the usual check up, making sure everything looks normal and noting the amount of pain you are in and giving you some medication to help the recovery process go a little bit faster. The nurse asks if you need anything and leaves you to your meal. It’s just a bowl of chicken noodle soup and a chocolate chip cookie, which you are glad for since you weren’t super hungry when you woke up. Although, this was a much more difficult task than it should be. You can hardly pick up a spoonful of the soup without your hand viscously shaking. Just as you're about to give up and just eat your cookie, Wanda moves to get up before sitting right back down.

You look at her with furrowed brows and ask, “What?”

She looks back up at you, “Oh-um, I was wondering if you wanted some help?”

You really don’t want to say yes, you want to be able to feed yourself without anyone's help. But you know you need to eat and that you can’t finish this soup on your own. You look back down at your bowl of soup and let out a small, “Yes.”

It’s easy to tell that she didn’t expect for you to say yes by the way she looks so pleasantly surprised. She comes over and sits on the side of the bed like before but slightly closer. You can tell she is trying to hide her smile but she is failing terribly. She grabs a bowl and leans in close, grabbing a spoonful of soup and guiding it to your mouth. You hadn’t been doted on like this since you were a child. Wanda was clearly enjoying this much more than you were, wiping the sides of your mouth with a napkin each time some soup dribbled out. While you weren’t enjoying this as much as Wanda seemed to have been, it admittedly felt nice. It was hard not to smile back at her when she looked so happy to be doing this and when you did her smile increased tenfold.

As you finished up the last of the soup you could feel yourself become drowsy but you knew you wouldn’t be able to fall asleep with the constant prickling on your skin. You watched Wanda take the bowl and clean up a little whilst you eat your cookie.

A flood of questions you did not know the answer to started coming back. Why was she cleaning up after you? What was in it for her? Why’d she look so happy when she was helping you? Why’d it feel so nice to have her help you? Could someone who felt so much enjoyment from helping you be that bad?

Would it really be that bad to let her help you?

It was so hard to find an answer to that question, feeling like the only reason your mind wants you near her is because of your genetics, not your actual feelings. You did not know Wanda Maximoff and from what the media thinks for her she does not seem like someone you’d want to be around. But if she was going to hurt you wouldn’t she have already? God. You felt like you had an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other with your conflicting thoughts and questions about Wanda, and you couldn’t tell if the thoughts rooting for Wanda were from the angel or the devil.

Before you can start any more debate with yourself, Wanda turns back to you with a smile on her face and hands on her hips, looking proud to have helped. It took all of your willpower not to match her goofy grin. Wanda is about to say something before you let out a big yawn, closing your eyes and covering your mouth. She lets out a small giggle and you give her the stink eye.

“What’s so funny?”

“Sorry, I just- you're really cute when you yawn,” Wanda says with a giggle and smile.

That makes your face heat up a hundred degrees. As to not cause yourself any more embarrassment, you lay down in bed and face the opposite direction.

Wanda lets out a sigh before saying, “You're probably tired so you should get some rest and I’ll just stay in this chair. If you start feeling any pain again let me know.”

You can hear the chair scrape against the floor as Wanda takes a seat again. You can feel your eyes start to droop and desperately want to go to sleep but know from previous experiences that sleeping when it felt like someone was constantly pinching you all over your body was going to be a difficult task.

You were probably tossing and turning for 20 minutes before Wanda asked, “Are you okay?”

You let out a huff and start to grind your teeth. It’s not like you want to be in pain but how are you supposed to feel comfortable laying with someone you hardly know? Did you feel uncomfortable when you woke up though? She was so gentle when combing through your hair and she just smelt so-

“Kass?”

You look back at Wanda standing over you now looking at you with a soft but concerned expression. It feels as if the longer you look at her the more you want to be close to her, the more you want to be surrounded by her delicious scent. Without saying a word you turn back over and scoot further away from her, leaving enough space for her to slip into the bed behind you. When she doesn’t seem to get the hint, you look back at her and see her still standing there now looking confused with a small pout on her face. It is so hard to not smile at the cute expression she’s making, so you quickly turn back around and say, “Come on.”

Wanda then slips into the bed beside you and wraps her arms around you. You slightly maneuver yourself to get comfortable before stating, “Okay, some ground rules. No unnecessary touching and no scenting. Got it?”

“Got it. Anything else?” Wanda asks.

“Um, can you comb my hair with your fingers again? It, um, it felt nice.”

You can hear the smile in Wanda’s voice when she replies with, “Of course, sweetheart.”

Wanda’s fingers in your hair, her warmth and her scent fill your heart with such a warm sensation you can’t help but smile as you close your eyes and succumb to sleep faster than you’d ever had before.

#wanda x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff x natasha romanoff x reader #omegaverse #abo au #alpha!wanda #omega!reader

334 notes · View notes

mandoalorian · 2 months

Text

hey tumblr friends ;-;

so, a little bit of a real life vent incoming. feel free to ignore.

ive worked really hard towards a promotion the past few months at work and found out today that I didn’t get it and man it sucks knowing you put your all into something and it wasn’t good enough. on paper i am good enough. hell, im the best person at that place, metrics wise. management know this. they told me to go for the job for that reason. but apparently i answered one of the questions with a bad structure and to me that just feels like weird feedback because what does that even mean.. and i don’t know. im so deflated.

any advice? really want to feel better ive been crying all day & even left work early because i just did not want to do my job. i didnt want to do it anymore. i love my job and the people there but god i can’t help but feel like i deserved this good thing and i didn’t get it. and im so exhausted and upset and my eyes hurt. and man, the extra money would have been great :(. finances have been hard lately. it would’ve been really nice.

and now i just feel lost. expendable. hurt. rejected. how do i bounce back from this?

#rach talks #real life #vent #personal

9 notes · View notes

zebulontheplanet · 16 days

Note

Hello

I am so sorry if this not good to ask/ the right place to ask (idk how tumblr works yet). Please lmk if so and i will not do it again /gen.

I am concerned I may be exhibiting signs of catatonia. I know it is not smth to be self dxd and is very serious but I can't find a huge amount of useful things online and idk what to do so i thought id ask you so i can get a better idea of whether to seek professional help seeing as you have lived experience with it. I hope that's okay

I have slowly been losing skills over the past year (not in burnout). Ive lost a lot of maskjng ability, I find speaking harder and often talk like a younger child despite my advanced vocabulary as a result, I get stuck on tasks and now need physical or verbal prompting to do a lot of tasks like bADLs i didnt need this for before (not counting iADLs bc i dont need to do those because im 15, nearly 16, altho i doubt they would be better). My sensory issues have worsened and so have my meltdowns and shutdowns (which were already not great). I have episodes where I feel like I literally cannot move and my body won't move or will only move very slowly or jerkily. It is like it won't process what my brain is telling it to do. I also stim more often and far more noticeably. Idk who to go to. :(

What other overall areas does catatonia cause decline in - for example does it cause social skills to decline, etc? I've noticed my social skills worsening quite a lot too which is why i ask.. the stuff ive found online can be a bit vague/ confusing or not what i want to know.

I'm scared because idk what is happening and it's really confusing. You don't have to respond to this and I'm sorry for rambling.. is it worth going to a professional? Can this kind of thing be caused by other stuff? If I were to go to a professional it would probably take ages because the waitlists are so long here. I'm just really confused and kinda scared and I dont want to lose more skills :(

Hello, so regular catatonia is different from autism catatonia with regression. Catatonia is very serious, and if you believe you are having it then PLEASE seek out medical attention. Autism Catatonia is usually regressive, and gets worse with time without treatment. Which, I am personally experiencing and it’s the reason I’m on medication for it.

Catatonia is a very serious condition, and can be life threatening in some. So it’s important to know the warning signs and contact a professional. Do NOT wait and contact someone as soon as possible.

Regression is hard, but regression doesn’t mean catatonia. So if you think you’re experiencing regression then that doesn’t automatically mean you have catatonia, if that makes sense. Catatonia for me is episodes of complete freezing, and episodes of slowness. Even outside of tasks I have catatonia. Although tasks are a huge trigger for my catatonia.

Please don’t try and self diagnose it and seek out medical help. I hope you have a lovely day and get the help you need. ❤️

#zebrambles #autism #autism catatonia #catatonia #asks and answers #thanks for the anon

19 notes · View notes

pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 1 month

Note

hi, im a mutual of yours who is too shy/on&off tumblr to interact, but i do look up to you; and your blog and way of seeing things helped me in the past when i was struggling quite a bit.

Lately I feel as if im lost in life, lost my passions and floating aimlessly without a real goal, detached from the future etc. Do you have any advice? I appreciate ur view on things, hope this isnt overstepping 🌦🌈

hi its ok no pressure too interact w me ona personal level just cus were mutuals i enjoy the ambient bonds that can form on this website its why i stay ^^ and no it's not overstepping at a;ll sorry it took me a lil while to respond i was trying to think of good advice since i often feel lost too---

well firs t n foremost to give credit where credit is due, this bjork reddit AMA response really gets to the bottom of it , ever since i first read this here on tumbr a few years ago it really rly stuck w me:

the way this answer helped me is like, it helped me realize i dont need to be so regimented i dont need to put all this pressure on myself to create..All that does is feed into self inflicted guilt when i cant live up to my own expectations u.u you see for my whole life i've never been able to plan anything. yes i can think about the next steps i want to take, i can assemble a plan, i can see the logical way forward, but my moods. or like, idek. how to explain..

i cant force anything. if im not feeling it, i cant force it. ive STRUGGLED w this like i dont wanna be this way. because my feelings i cant predict. like for example i worked on music all winter because thats what i was feeling. then suddenly in march i just like, wasnt feeling it all of a sudden. As soon as it hit me i was like Fy767*T&UG*** because i didnt know when it was gonna come back. i still dont know!! im just trying to be patient waiting it out..in the mean time i have suddenly become enthused with drawing again after not ~feeling~ drawing for most of 2023. sometimes i go for weeks where i dont take a single photo and then suddenly it starts flowing again.. my website was also left untouched for most of 2023 until recently.

thats just one example of this repeating pattern in my life that i didnt understand for so long. theres years of my 20s where i couldnt feel passion for anything at all, looking back now i believe those times i was meant to be focusing on stuff in my psyche that needed healing to clear out some headspace for art. and this bjork quote put a lot into perspective it showed me how to reformulate my thinking to be more accomodating to my disposition. when i'm patient & kind w myself, take each day as it comes, let go of the imaginary pressure, let go of "the future", stuff starts to come thru easier.

and maube its gonna show up in ways you dont expect but its true that the mundane world offers so many ways to practice being creative & giving u stuff to weave into the art u want to create.. every water fall starts w a single drop its trueits true :] thats my advice i spose i really didnt meant to write this much but im boooored.. actually my nighttime boredom writing is one of those habits i never considered to b creative until very recently. there's so many small & automatic things we do that can lead to a meaningful life & purpose.

thanks for the question anon i hope this helps in some way , this is whats helped me but everyone's process is different. and i still have moments where im like WTFFF is happening but its easier to ride it out now. i wish the same for you just give it time <3 thanks again xPmd9

17 notes · View notes

tammyfeabakker · 2 months

Text

Its Monday again. I had a great birthday weekend. We watched... pepsi,where's my jet?On Netflix I recommend it. Then we watched love on the spectrum and down for love. I wait months to watch the new seasons. My Chloe and Emily. My Chloe went back home. As much as I'm so happy to see her. I was so sad when she left. The loneliness. The tears. I don't cry much when I do. Its jus painful. I miss her so much. I have to tend to my merlin and peaches. I jus can't pick up and go anymore. They jus can't pick up and leave they have responsibilities. It takes months before I see her again. I crave championship. I tried online dating. But I don't think I want that kind of a relationship. I jus want my kids back. Its been years. I'm still not over it. Why do I have to be the one. That will never get over the empty nest syndrome. They say you get over it or you don't. I didn't probably never will. My Chloe is my soulmate. Soulmates come in many different ways animals kids mothers dads aunts uncles friends... not only man and woman relationships. But all kinds. Chloe was my champion from the time she was born. I loved her with everything I had. We went everywhere together up until she was 24. She never slept out. She was always home. I never never never had a problem with her. What a great kid. I feel like the universe tortures me. I have no idea what I did to deserve this continued pain. Of her growing up moving on. She jus moved to far. I don't know how to spend jus a day with her. Has to be days. Its so hard to let her go. I watch the Simmons3. Bout a mother lost her 3 kids in a drunk driver accident. I want to tell that woman. Not only does she help keep drunk drivers off the street. But she helps me feel better. Its sad I know. But the empty nest syndrome. You grieve like they are gone. You grieve... you jus don't cry you grieve. The first couple years I cried everywhere everyday. I tried to tell myself I still have my kids. They are alive and well doing what I instilled in them growing up. Independent women. My cats do every thing they can. We are here for you momma. Please don't cry. They take the pieces put me back together. They know when I'm sinking. They stick to me like glue. My job is starting to suck now too. We use to be able to take the hours...if we finished up early. But now that ended. I pile up my targets looks like I'm working 10 hours. Jus for my boss to come in say can you handle that? I say yes because I'm doing in it 4. Only to take work from me. Because she doesn't think I can handle it. But I'm not really working it. That fucking easter cart been out set up for months now. Don't adjust the time on it jus act like its not out. We have to make it up somehow. Considering the wear and tear on our cars and phones. But I still like my job. Gift card resets are coming up again. The managers love me because I jus throw them out. Everyone I work with is a joy. Molly is a joy. We try to get together so if I have a job. Thats insane I call Molly. 5 hours of awesome. We talk laugh. I keep telling her she's to good for this. She incredibly smart. The girl is gifted. She's jus this little thing talks me down when I start to loose it. The gift cards are a nightmare. I start my shit. She knows how to deal with me. We are soulmates. She sees the little things I see the big picture. We both suffer depression its like therapy to us. Start my day now. Thanks for listening. I tell ya one thing bout Tumblr. Even though we don't talk. No matter how far I go no matter how long im gone. You know who you are. You never leave me. Thanks for the devotion it truly means alot to me oxoxox.

8 notes · View notes

twopoppies · 6 months

Note

hi gina, im not sure if this is the right place to talk about this, but i just really feel so sad right now. I'm a college student, and we're having our finals this week and the next. this whole semester was just too overwhelming for me, and i often find myself feeling so inadequate and like I'm not doing good enough. i had a presentation in class today and my professor pointed out how unprepared i was. which made me reflect on how i was just swimming in mediocrity this semester, and that's just not me at all. i used to be this highly academic achieving kid, and now i don't even give my very best, and i just often find myself wasting my time on social media. my depression is also just getting worst everyday, and sometimes i feel so empty. i really don't know where i can find the motivation again to try and save myself this semester, i literally have 10 days left to do so. maybe you have some tips you can give to a lost 20-year old depressed kid who's not really sure with how to deal with life. im so sorry for this stream of consciousness type of message. :')

Hi, sweetheart. I’m so sorry you’re struggling so much right now. I think many people your age struggle with a similar sense of overwhelm and depression. I truly do think the constant diet of social media and 24/7 doom scrolling is so unhealthy for us, mentally.

I don’t really have any suggestions for how to “save” this semester for you in the next 10 days, but I would say that it sounds as though your professor is aware and is empathetic. Maybe you can schedule a meeting with them and talk about all of this. Letting them see that your work does matter to you but that you’re struggling can make a big difference.

Beyond that, it sounds like you could really use a break from technology. I know for me even just disconnecting from tumblr for a week or so creates a huge shift in my productivity and mood.

I have a bunch of resources on my blog under MENTAL ILLNESS and MENTAL HEALTH if you want to look through that for ways to combat the depression (and maybe anxiety). Finding an affordable way to seek therapy would also be helpful (I know I have some posts about that, too).

Sending you lots of love. I think the fact that you’re even aware of the change is a great sign that you can turn things around. ❤️

#depression #mental illness

12 notes · View notes

acaciapines · 17 days

Note

hiiiiiii bestie hiiiii hiiiiiii hiiii <3

no one else is asking so I will take one for the team. well maybe someone has asked but I will ask again if not. can you please tell us abt how kris and noelle meet in the drk au, and noelle’s uh. reaction to seeing dess again when she thought dess was dead? and ig by extension, kris. not sure if this is getting into spoiler territory so feel free not to answer or be as vague as you want :p

am also interested in hearing more abt ralsei and susie in this au. Please

have we talked abt this a bit? definitely. but the ppl on tumblr should hear it also and I like hearing abt it smile

hii hi hi <3

i do not know how much of this will be new for you but it will be new for everyone else so LETS GO!!!

NOELLE AND KRIS

okay so. i think i've mentioned this in other posts before, but the whole event that starts off everyone finding out dess and kris arent actually dead is that kris dives into a dark world! theyre trying to close a dark world like dess does, because they think that maybe!! that way!! dess will come back and be proud of them and love them and then she wont leave so much! because kris can close dark worlds too, see? now they can go with her!

they tell this to frisk, swear frisk to secrecy, and then! vanish lol they're Gone. the way dark worlds work here also isnt fully solid but im treating them sort of like mystery dungeons in pmd, so they dont fully follow the laws of like, physics and the like which means that even tho where kris lives is Very Far from hometown, noelle, susie, and ralsei are still able to get to the same dark world from hometown!

do not ask me what this dark world is like. i have No Idea. probably somewhat inspired by kris's life but i have not gone so far as to plot it out lol. the important part is that susie and ralsei split off from noelle (like in cyber city) and so noelle ends up running into kris, who has not only gotten lost but is in WAY over their head lol, so she saves them and kris begrudgingly agrees to stick with her. they totally couldve done this on their own. theyre sticking with noelle for her own safety. and noelle is just like yeah sure lol.

while traveling through the dark world together, noelle and kris have no idea who the other is! not only do they not really remember each other (noelle has a few vague memories, kris was even younger when dess took them so they dont remember anything at all), but they've both grown up a lot and in kris's case are fully presenting as a monster. they bond a bit over both being deer-monsters!

they cant fully communicate, tho...kris would be nonverbal throughout this entire trip and since noelle never grew up with kris she doesnt know monster sign language. she might remember a few words from her childhood but not enough to understand kris and even if she did she is a stranger so kris wouldnt sign OR speak to her anyways lol. but they do help each other out and close the dark world together! they come out in hometown and noelle promises to help kris find their parent cause they did Not mean to come here lol, and that is when! she checks her phone and shes gotten a text from toriel about a missing kid, and she's like....hey so uh i think your parent might actually be at my house lol wanna come by.

(while kris was stuck in the dark world, frisk got Very Worried and did eventually spill everything to chara, and thats how chara and frisk end up in hometown desperately trying to find kris! they come across toriel who helps them out and thats why they're at the holiday-dreemurr house).

and so things are all fun and fine until noelle and kris get back to noelle's house, and go inside, and kris is reunited with chara, and when that happens toriel sees this child and is like. holy shit. is that my dead kid.

and the fic would end there lol! (in my head this is a series, so, it would span multiple fics) another fun thing is this is the moment where noelle learns kris's name--so it wont really be a surprise for the audience cause i feel like most people could catch on that this is kris (remember up til this point we only follow noelle and the hometown crew, so we think dess and kris are dead), but if you didnt...

NOELLE AND DESS

honestly i dont know how noelle would react... i feel like she wouldnt have as big a response as everyone else! to her dess is less a person and more like, the story she's told as to why she cant do all the same things her peers do, why her mom + stepmom are so overprotective, why asriel stayed behind instead of going to college...dess loves noelle but noelle is like literally who are you. so when dess tries to like, bond with noelle, noelle doesnt want this...she grew up without a sister and that bond isnt going to form again! she doesnt know who this woman is!

its. very hard for dess needless to say. and for kris who sees how much dess is investing in noelle and theyre just like. okay well why was she never like that with me. which then leads to tensions between noelle and kris, which pushes kris to make some Very Bad Choices, and and and. plot <3

RALSEI AND SUSIE

actually the relationship ive thought about the least if im being honest. but i was talking about them to you last night and i think that like...there IS a level of antagonism that doesnt exist in deltarune canon. ralsei is trying to hard to stick to the prophecy, and when susie in this story's version of chapter one ignores it to be a villain with lancer, that hits A LOT HARDER in a world where from the very start the prophecy is being broken (since its two monsters who fall lol)

plus ralsei is also dealing with a lot of feelings shes never felt before--jealously, envy, not being able to just ignore her dysphoria anymore...shes a lot more aware of her crush on noelle and so noelle having a crush on susie isnt helping...

LIKE THEY ARE FRIENDS i think ralsei feels a LOT of guilt about all of this, and when its just her and susie things are good! they make sense!!! susie makes her wanna BE things wanna feel like maybe these things she feels are okay...but then everything always comes crashing down and its. bad again.

annnnnd thats all i think!! as always anybody can ask for follow ups. i'll spoil this entire au lol im sure things will change as i write it and besides. this is gonna take A While so when i do post it in like 2026 yall wont remember what i said here lol.

#drkau #deltarune #ask #ash my beloved ash #the 2026 number isnt a joke btw in my head this is All Of Deltarune. so. yknow. a clean 500k words or something like that #IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS AU.

4 notes · View notes