#herequeerexitentialfear

[cassynite]

Silaena Goes Home 👀👀

HI CROW THANK YOU CROW did I ever mention i love Silaena. Well I do!!

This is a companion piece for All the Faces in Her Wake, my daeran centric fic that focuses on his relationsihp with his mother. It's not in the actual fic yet (ch3) but I've posted snippets and another short piece that reveal that in my canon, Silaena was actually as rebellious, if not more so, than Daeran in her youth--she explicitly ran away from home as a young adult for a period of about four years, before returning home and taking up the mantle of Countess Arendae. This fic details her arrival home, what she does in between her homecoming and her marriage to Count Arendae, and why specifically she came back.

I love it a lot but there's a possible chance that I won't post it because it features a very headcanony headcanon about Silaena and Daeran that I'm nearly positive is refuted in game--that Silaena conceived Daeran with someone else and returned home and got quick married to an old friend to legitimize him. But I still love it because I do what I want lol

Snippet under the cut!

"I'm pregnant," she said flatly, the words silencing her father's bluster. His face turned the color of puce, and then bone-white. "How--who--" "I have no idea," she cut through his spluttering. She is lying, of course--the man's name had been Kael, he of the sharp tongue and foxlike smile. They had spent months together when he had come to Mendev searching for opportunities to expand his business, free-fallen into the closest thing to love Silaena had ever experienced. When the diseased air of the Worldwound became too much, he had packed his things to go back southeast and offered to take Silaena with him. She'd refused; Mendev was blighted land riddled with cults and demons and foul air, but it was her air, and her people, and her land. Even when she ran away she had never gone far, and had come to the realization that she never would when she closed the door on their relationship. He'd left before she'd found out the gift he'd left her, and now he will never know, so she does not wonder how he'd react if he found out. What mattered was here, the present, and how she planned to take care of the growing life inside of her. "Nevis and I have already agreed that this will be a chaste marriage; my child will be claimed as his, and since the marriage will be legal before the child draws breath it will be legal heir. You give me the title and the estate, and you can keep all the other homes and riches and make everyone miserable in Nerosyan if you like, and you never speak to me again--and I will take the responsibilities of Countess Arendae, and pass them to my son."

#cassy answers #herequeerexitentialfear #silaena arendae #i nearly put oc: silaena because i have in fact adopted her. owlcat give her over #cassy writes #cassy wips #pwotr pals

[archduke-enver-gortash]

🌺 for zeke! i imagine him as being annoying about people's pronunciation's of words and place-names!

5/10 because zeke actually struggles with properly enunciating even simple words himself, since he was completely non-verbal for like. the first 10 years of his life and slowly got taught/forced to learn by sceleritas and the rest of the temple. still 5 points because he’d definitely be annoying about words he can actually pronounce but you can’t, but only those lol

#thank you for the ask!! #oc: zeke #herequeerexitentialfear

[outeremissary]

A Bright and Wicked Thing for the wip roundup?

Hello Crow! This is it! This is a Kingmaker fic! Hooray! I don't remember if you followed me for BG3 or something though so sorry if you expected Someone who wasn't the horrible aasimar who rules my heart. But it would be a little funny.

Anyway, I guess you'd call this my Kingmaker longfic. In my mind I just think of it as "the Balthazar fic," and it's something I've fiddled with on and off for ages now. I'm not sure it's even a project I intend for other people to see, but it is one that I'd like to complete one day, whatever completing winds up meaning to me. Just for my own peace of mind. It's what you'd expect- long fic that more or less follows game events and defines the personal canon there. I guess it isn't very interesting to talk about from that perspective, haha. Makes it sound like a reference document! And maybe it is. But it's precious to me despite that, and I'm the audience it's for.

At any rate, it's the story of how the sorcerer Balthazar Lucienne, disgraced ex-socialite and directionless grifter, successfully trips his way from a hastily stolen identity into a royal title through a combination of charm, luck, standing at the very back of fights, and a lot of lying. It's also a painfully long slowburn Tristian romance that is mostly divorced from the canon romance thanks to being in large part plotted before I knew anything about that. In other part, it is thanks to the fact that Balthazar is a CE bastard who starts out despising Tristian and who is not exactly Tristian's favorite person either. So y'know. Takes some time.

At any rate, it's a fun challenge (though a headache of a challenge) to try to filter things through the POV of Balthazar, who is absolutely not the kind od person who is meant to be the hero (or protagonist) of anything. He's non-confrontational and weak, he's constantly lying or speaking in half-truths and insinuations, and there's a huge gap between how he presents himself to the world (charming, sweet, what you expect from an angel on earth) and the absolutely miserable cynicism that characterizes him on the inside. His view of the world (especially early on) is so fucking relentlessly negative- he views others with contempt and despises practically every situation he finds himself in. And I think that's what makes him fun- he's a usurper in someone else's story, a two bit villain who's making a play for the leading role that even he isn't sure he can follow through on.

There's not a lot interesting to say about plot, I guess, since it is still Kingmaker one way or another. But shifting things away from the kinds of straightforward heroic battles that are the main fare of a CRPG and trying to imagine what things look like with a bit more guile at the center (from diplomatic guile to "how can I make other people fight this fight for me") definitely gives it a distinct feeling to me, haha. I'd try to share an excerpt but um. Last Friday my laptop died its final death, so I guess we'll never know if I could overcome the anxiety to do that!

If you ever see me claiming I'm about to do NaNo in any form chances are I'm back to working on some part of this.

#Balthazar's magical quest to make friends and fall in love and live a fulfilling life by accident while on his usual scheming bullshit #it is so hard to describe this in a way that isn't wildly boring despite it being a personal obsession vkajckakcka #I think I just um. dislike summarizing my work #god I want to work on it again I miss it. even if I periodically delete huge chunks of it. when will my laptop return from the war #sorry if this was a little dull I'm new to this kinda thing ^^;; #tag game #ask me emithing #balthazar lucienne #herequeerexitentialfear #nearly spelled that one wrong.

[hangingoffence]

📓!

this one about the metro 2033 and artyom.

After he survives to the abandoned tunnels to Armory and he finally gets a rest a bit. He contemplates on what happened. Leaving his home station, climbing up to the surface to the dead city of Moscow and killing a bunch of humans. He has killed mutants before but this was his first time actually taking human lives.

He falls asleep due to sheer fatigue but is woken up into a nightmare, when he finds himself in a state of sleep paralyzes. He experiences terror he hasn't felt before. Being locked in his own body, unable to reach for his gas mask when he feels all the oxygen from his lungs die.

anyway i just think he should have some night terrors and sleep paralyzes', as a treat.

Send me a 📓 and ill tell you one of my fic ideas!

#i know ppl wont prob know what even im referencing to in these but idc <3 #metro #ask game #herequeerexitentialfear #ask

[amen-and-a-tank]

i want you to know a guy in my engenering class was wearing a sabaton chritsmas themed jumper and i was trying not to stare cause thats UR band.

also he is polish and was trying to say sabaton was there version of merry christmass. dident convince anyone but it was funny

omg that's so cool! tell him that i think he's awesome

#answered ask #mutuals my beloved #herequeerexitentialfear #ily mutuals #<3

[coffeelovinggayidiot]

Like I promised, here's another recording. This time it's this story by @herequeerexitentialfear, which I LOVED, and I recommend you check out. So, without further ado, enjoy <3

#writing #recorded writing #spoken fic #not my writing #not my fic #please send herequeerexitentialfear all the love #original work #hope you like it

[dragonologist-phd]

weird fun facts about your oc(s)

rules: share some fun facts about your oc(s). they don't have to be relevant to their story, perhaps even better if they aren't. the weird ones are the best!

tagged by @solas-backpack-mug! thanks for the tag! now, since i've been in a pillars mood lately:

Desta of the Kind Wayfarers

When she was young and still trying to find a place in Galawain's temple, she did make a genuine attempt at being a hunter...but she was pretty terrible at it. The poor girl's got no stealth at all!

Her very long hair can be a bit of a hassle at times, but she's given up on trying to control it- every time she cuts it, it grows back almost immediately

Her very high strength means she's great at picking up the party's squishy wizard and carrying him to safety every time he gets hurt in a fight. Her very low insight means she has no idea how flustered this makes him

Rudi Xavell

For the most part, she doesn't have any strong feelings about the gods. She just does what she thinks is practical, like giving offerings to Galawain before and after a hunt. Of all my Watchers, she's the least bothered about holy philosophy- if it works, it works, and it doesn't really matter if it's 'real' or not

Her favorite color is red, to the point where red capes and red-accented clothing becomes her signature look as ruler of Caed Nua

She makes her own arrows! With the focus required, she finds it to be a very meditative activity and it helps her clear her mind

Miervaldis Ygdin

He's really good at knitting and sewing! He learned this from his oldest sister, who was a tailor, and homemade blankets have become his go-to gift for friends and family (i imagine quilts especially to have a big significance in the White That Wends, and he gave his parents a special quilt as a going away gesture when he left home)

He uses he/him pronouns, but honestly he's very indifferent to the concept of gender in general

He has one (1) level in druid, purely because ice spells fit his aesthetic and i wanted an excuse to give him some

no-pressure tagging:

@bugdotpng @dujour13 @camelliagwerm @mordred9971 @orime-stories

@transprincecaspian @miseryscrowned @bladesmitten @big-cheesy-productions @arendaes

@bezelusbubulez @starlightcleric @vigilskept @thesolemnhour @ampleappleamble

@herequeerexitentialfear @rollofleaf @adozentothedawn @undyingembers

tag list here!

#thanks for the tag! #ch: desta #ch: rudi #ch: miervaldis

[shiawasekai]

After getting his approval, here is a drawing of @herequeerexitentialfear's Celia for an art trade!

#a shadow's art #friend's ocs #pwotr pals #i had a lot of fun drawing this!! #It's always a pleasure to draw different body types

[knight-commander]

WIP Wednesday

finally working on my wotr longfic and since many have been sharing their wips today I thought I’d jump on the bandwagon! this chapter is kicking my ass lol

no pressure tagging! @herequeerexitentialfear @mountainashfae @silversiren1101 @amatres @arendaes @offsidekineticist @tenmillionbees @cassynite @thesolemnhour @the-raging-tempest @dujour13 and anyone else!!!

#ough. Save me longfic #Save me #cas writes #oc: Mathias #pwotr pals #pwotr #pathfinder wrath of the righteous #pathfinder: wrath of the righteous #pathfinder #pathfinder wotr #wip wednesday

[arrow90-art]

Alrakis - Ship Template

Tagged by @arendaes thank you so much Ash!! This is so fun!

Here are the Couple Template and the OT3 & OT4 Template!

No pressure tags for @dujour13, @silversiren1101, @outeremissary, @the-raging-tempest, @mossywizard, @luinen-bluewater, @mountainashfae, @herequeerexitentialfear, @gutterspeak, @adriaue, @immyownoc, @undyingembers, @cassynite and anyone interested!

I'm tagging to say hello and thank you for being friends with me! Hope yall have a wonderful day! Sending lots of love and hugs to yall! ^^

Portrait art by @/hugh-brains, art in the middle by 头痛疼躺

#oc: rimerock #oc: larksharius #ship: alrakis #arrow answers #charts

[cassynite]

👾<3 👀

Aaaah thank you!! I’m gonna pull another from Ophenias playlist here.

This song is a reflection of Ophenia's general demeanor and how she engages with the world after her wife's death. She becomes colder, more distant, even if superficially she is charming and engaging with the world, the doors are closed and she is inside a cold house so to speak. I do also like the indication that seasons change--that, one day, Ophenia might be able to warm up again as well.

#oc: ophenia #cassy answers #herequeerexitentialfear #sorry i keep pulling from like the same three people but the other three playlists im currently obsessing over are for ocs no one knows lol

[dujour13]

OC Kiss Week - day 2

@herequeerexitentialfear Georgie is so much a kindred soul he has to have a spot in Sia’s canon 💜

“Mirani—wait—!”

Gilford makes a grab for his jerkin and misses, and Siavash is out of the carriage—still at a trot—and hopping the fence of the farm the Andoren diplomatic delegation is passing by on the road to Kenabres.

“We’re this close to the Worldwound, are you mad?”

Siavash turns back and holds a finger to his mouth for silence. Gilford stops yelling long enough to catch the strains of a fiddle coming from the farmhouse.

“Let’s stop here,” Siavash calls, and everyone, including the Ambassador, is tired enough to agree.

The farm is full of sheep, tended by a very friendly barefoot tiefling, who stands among his woolly charges chewing on a grass stem. He sets his fiddle aside as the guests approach.

Georgie recognizes the twangy accent. He likes Andorens. Crusaders stop by the farm on their way to the Wound often enough, and Andorens tend not to put on airs or look down their noses at tieflings, which is always refreshing.

And these Andorens look especially refreshing. They’re not just here to beg for a spot in the barn to spread out their bedrolls—they’re here with baskets full of provisions to share and all they need is a cheerful hearth and a table. And one of them has an unusual lute he’s already eagerly unpacking.

“We’ve been invited to take a tour closer to the Worldwound front,” the Ambassador explains, warming herself at Georgie’s fire under hanging sprays of dried herbs and loops of sausages. “I think they’re hoping we’ll pledge more aid once we’ve seen it up close.”

The half-elf guitarist adds, “Apparently just in time for the City Day Festival. Is it any good?”

“I don’t often venture into Kenabres,” Georgie says. Much as he’d enjoy the larger audience, it’s not worth the hassle: the looks people give him, the shady tieflings asking about his relatives. “But yeah, it’s a good time.”

Georgie hardly notices the night fly by. The rest of the delegation has retired to the barn to sleep off the meal: his ewe’s milk and hazelnut cheese turned out to pair a little too well with their sweet, sun-ripened wine, and even Georgie would be drowsy by now if it weren’t for the music.

To his delight it seems the guitarist, Siavash, could play and tell stories all night. Georgie plays him the ballad of the anarchist laundress who firebombed a bank, and Siavash sings of the deeds of the heroes of the People’s Revolt. It’s far past midnight when they discover that they both know an old laborer’s lament by the halflings of Cheliax and play it together, stomping on the floorboards to keep time.

The music has brought them together, leaning in toward each other in the final strains, and when it stops they find themselves inches apart, eyes locked, smiling at each other. Georgie’s gaze flicks to the half-elf’s lips, which part slightly as the two of them are drawn in slowly, curiously, like a butterfly to a flower.

They both stop.

“Nah,” they laugh simultaneously.

“I respect you too much, man.” Penance, Siavash reminds himself. This tiefling has too good a heart for the likes of me.

Having burned the candle at both ends, Siavash dozes off in the carriage on the road to Kenabres the next day, his head tipping onto the Ambassador’s shoulder. Gilford and the Ambassador exchange a glance and laugh fondly. For the last time.

Siavash is so fast asleep he doesn’t hear the first shrieks of the demons as they close in.

#ockiss24 #friends' ocs #georgie #siavash #my writing #pwotr pals

[yuriwarrior]

url change notice

pinkcomputervoid -> yuriwarrior

Tagging some mutuals below :)

@fyers @girlfatherfigure @gawain-the-tax-evader @queen-lance @herequeerexitentialfear @sporkberries @vikingpoteto @forever-carlyle @songbee @hawkzeyes @rei-does-stuff @zibah-ho

#hollering numbers into the void

[amasdoodles]

got tagged for a wip wed by @poetikat, thank you! here's two sneak peeks at the kiss week entries i made and then a drawing made of aurora to test out a design she wont have until probably next year lmao

i'll no pressure tag @transprincecaspian, @thesolemnhour, @tenmillionbees, @kafkaesqxe, and @herequeerexitentialfear

#ama doodles #aurora (oc) #the other kiss week pic is finished i just turned off the colors so cas cant tell anything

[thesolemnhour]

earth hath swallowed all my hopes but she please!

Thank you for asking, Dujour! You were not alone in being curious about this one, so tysm to @amatres and @herequeerexitentialfear too! This takes place right before she quits New Stetven.

TW: Agria’s thorny relationship with her dad, highly questionable parenting

“You’re right,” Agria says sharply, “I’m squandering the rare opportunity to spend my life forever solving your problems.” “You are rare!” Her father cries, gripping her by the shoulders. Viktor never raises his voice, never, and his tone still maintains its customary softness, but there is a fervor to his words that Agria hasn’t heard in years. “You are. And you waste it! Do you imagine that I want you to be unhappy? When the Surtovas say you are difficult, when your aunt writes to ask ‘What has your girl done now,’ do you believe I do not defend you?” His voice breaks off as he takes a breath. Tears prick at the corners of her eyes. In the silence, she sees him clearer than she ever has. He looks as tired as she feels. “You will never be this good at anything again. And you are wasting it.”

#taylor writes #i had to clean this one up a lot before it was semi post worthy lol #pwotr pals #ag tag

[burn-with-the-house]

WIP ROUNDUP

I was tagged by @arendaes & @cassynite to post my wips and let people ask me about them/post excerpts! The issue is, I don’t name ANY of my documents. They’re all “Untitled Documents”. I just search by character name and click through until I find the one I need. So. WIP Roulette.

📁 untitled document (1)

📁 untitled document (2)

📁 untitled document (3) answered!

📁 untitled document (4) answered!

📁 untitled document (5) answered!

📁 untitled document (6) answered!

@camelliagwerm @dein0nychus @flashhwing @fergus-cousland @gravedigg @herequeerexitentialfear @iwoszareba @nightmarist @ocean-in-my-rebel-soul @offsidekineticist @thesolemnhour @zundely

#WIP roundup #ask game