#hhhhh ok that’s enough life update

[asrisgratitudejournal]

2022

wow sudah memasuki akhir bulan ke-2 dari 2022 sodara-sodara…

betul-betul felt bad udah lama banget ga update tumblr padahal 2021 se-rajin itu, dan se-terbantu itu dengan nulis tumblr minimal seminggu sekali buat mensyukuri kehidupan..

OK ini nggak ada struktur dan pesan tertentu yang ingin disampaikan sih, tapi mungkin nge-list hal-hal yang mau disyukuri aja randomly

1. SUPPORTING SYSTEM. Ini betul-betul yang taken for granted banget kayanya selama ini. Supporting system w gede banget dan betul-betul supportive (yes, therefore the name, Non). Tapi ini baru kusadari recently pas breakdown hari Jumat 2 minggu yang lalu(?). Pas ku dengan sengaja caper ngepos di twitter my insecurities: me thinking I’m not capable enough and doesn’t deserve all of this. Tiba-tiba yang ngereply di twitter banyak banget. BANYAK BGT. Dan masing-masing replynya betul-betul ngebuatku mewek huhu. Terus di ig juga. Terus di sini bahkan ada Joost, dan Tamsin, dan Diny, Ujang. Semua deh. Makasih YaAllah dikasih support system yang amat-amat baikkkk.

2. SUDAH LULUS TRANSFER!!! Udah cerita belom sih kalau transfer w chaos banget. Report ok lah mayan niat bikinnya. Tapi presentasi??!?!? baru bikin literally 60menit sebelum present LOL ngaco banget ye hidup w. Dan pas interview pun, itu juga arrange interviewnya setengah mati karena salah satu assessor w masih di Mauritania….. Tapi Alhamdulillah puji tuhan semesta alam, dikasih pass tanpa revision dan bahkan beberapa aspek dibilang excellent dong, bingung banget. Tapi yaudah I HAVE TO DO BETTER. Hwaiting!

3. BALANCE HIDUP LAGI MAYAN OK. Beberapa minggu terakhir weekend super sibuk bersosial tapi at least senang sih cukup dapat balance yang OK antara social life dan personal life. Barusan banget habis beli tiket nonton live viewing PTD SEOUL!!! so happy. Kemarin juga habis PO album singlenya SUJU yang Calling (superduper excited!). Beberapa waktu lalu sempat call sama warga2 GEA11 juga, Eja udah di UK juga sekarang!! Terus sempat ke Reading diundang ulangtahunnya Kans oleh Mba Nufis. Beberapa kali formals. Senang sih sesungguhnya. HHHHH bersyukur banget.

Dah itu dulu aja tapi itu pun sudah banyak. Makasih YaALLAH pokoknya jadikanlah hambaMu ini hamba yang selalu bersyukur dan ga kufur nikmat. Semoga teman-teman yang lain juga hidupnya lancar-lancar dan bahagia-bahagia ya. AAMIIN.

Exeter Library

24/02/2022 15:28 pm

[thosefiveadoraburrs]

🔦-Did you learn anything while writing it? About yourself? Writing? (For all your fics!)

ALL MY FICS HSKJDFHKJD

so i’ll limit it to the tdp ones since i assume that’s what we’re all here for? i could totally talk about the self-insert narnia fanfic i wrote when i was eight but i’ll spare all of us lmao

this is gonna get long bc i Ramble so answers under the cut

first, the Big Fics (aka more than my usual drabbly self lmao):

silver linings - v special bc i think this fic was really instrumental in making me realize how i felt about my writing partner. we had been writing for another ship for years before we started writing for rayllum, and it was the first rayllum fic we’d done, and we saw ourselves really strongly represented in the characters, so writing them falling for one another was... illuminating. and on a not super sappy note, uh, this sorta helped me with worldbuilding so that was cool too

(this is starting out so cheesy hhhhh let’s keep movin)

if time is money - so this fic went from a oneshot idea to a full length novel about Trying To Process Feelings After Trauma, and in the process i learned a) how to actually make a coherent plot again and b) the intricacies of how we hurt and also learn to forgive one another and ourselves. i think when we wrote the part where rayla says something like, “it’s really complicated but also really simple,” regarding love and forgiveness within their little family, it was something i really needed to hear. i overcomplicate a lot of things, especially my relationships, as someone who is in the process of trying to process past traumas in a healthy way. obviously not going into detail, but it’s really important and special to me that we’re able to write these characters falling apart and building each other back up over and over, and walking with one another through the healing process, because it’s something that i’ve been needing to seek and and accept within my own relationships.

with all that said, i hope you all can see why it’s been taking us a while to update? beyond just life being busy (i’m gonna be a college grad wheee!) it’s also a fic that we always want to put our absolute best into, and a fic that sometimes takes a little bit of emotional energy out of us. it’s cathartic and we love writing it, but it’s also a lot sometimes.

looking for a way to break in - i’m just learning that i’m impatient bc i want them to heckin smooch already but we already established it as slowburn so!!! we gotta wait 84 more years sorry fam

ok ok on a more serious note this is the fic where i started being more involved with fandom again, since the onus has been on me to post updates this time. i had like, a weird amount of bad fandom experiences so this was just daunting and i do fall into the trap of comparing myself to my more popular friends who are all like, way warmer and nicer and talented than i perceive myself to be, so this fic really kinda pushed me to be a little more involved in fandom. and it’s actually been super nice so far! a lot of you are so sweet and i’m thankfully not known enough for any rude people to notice me? so, yeah, thanks for making my first real fandom experience in a while actually p fun! 

my Drabbles:

the sweetest sound - this taught me that i could still write on my own. like, no joke. i hadn’t done a lot of creative things on my own besides, like, nail art, which i’m always downplaying for some reason, but yeah, i’d just been so worried that i wasn’t enough on my own, so i started trying to write a few little things by myself, just to see if i could still do it. and i guess i can???? rereading i don’t Hate it so i’d say a success overall!

running - this is Embarrassing but writing this piece made me realize that i want to get back into acting. i missed getting to dive deep into who a character is and taking them in and allowing myself to just sit in that complete understanding and empathy, but i quit in high school before i really had the chance to get really good at it. so. after writing that drabble i signed up for acting classes and we’ll see if it’s not still super embarrassing that i just admitted this in a few years!

untitled callum height fic - this just taught me to have fun with writing on my own again. i was a very high-performing kid, where i learned things so quickly that everyone assumed that i was just good at almost everything (that’s not a thing btw, we all start out bad at everything and we should celebrate being bad at things for a while before we get good), and while this was a. Great ego boost as a kid, it also really sucked the fun out of a lot of creative endeavors. especially ones i’m really passionate about, like writing and various performance arts. this ficlet was completely driven mainly by Spite, but as i got to the end, i wasn’t even mad anymore. i was just having fun writing an absolutely fluffy headcanon and it was great, and... i hope to write more fics where i just have absolute unabashed fun like that!

sorry for the long reply, and thank you for making it this far ahaha

#ask #thanks for asking! #writing updoots #my fic #mynewgroove

[malafight]

Long-Ass Life Update (I’m not dead!)

Finally a life update now that I’m back home. It’s been a painful and tiring couple of weeks :’) And actually some of the days/times might be off because I was like super fucking out of it for most of that time period.

Anyhow, I went to the ER on Friday the 1st after 3 days of severe stomach pain, and the local hospital is like notoriously shitty but I was in horrible pain ok

They actually took me seriously for once, took me back immediately, ekg, ultrasound, blood and piss tests, and told me from the start not to eat or drink anything.

They told me they found gallstones and one or more might be stuck in the bile duct, but they made it sound like it wasnt inflamed and there werent many, so I wasnt super worried? They sent me for an MRI and then told me that they didnt have the capability to get out any stones, so they sent my ass an hour away via ambulance to a much better hospital so they could do the probe thing they needed to. It took until Saturday night to get a room there, though, and they didnt know when I’d get there and since they figured theyd want to do the probe ASAP, I was kept completely without eating or drinking for all of Friday night and Saturday, after not eating more than a few bites of muffin on Friday and next to nothing Thursday either because Everything Hurt.

Also, Fentanyl is fucking magic. Thats the only thing that even vaguely touched the pain.

So anyhow, I get to the other hospital at fuck o’clock at night and God Damn Staved because, like I said, bitches gave me No Fucking Food for an entire day (I’m not kidding that hospital is horrible and has a horrible reputation for ending up with killing people or making situations worse but the next nearest hospitals are an hour away in different directions and I don’t often have anyone willing to drive me that far and I often don’t feel up to driving myself that far if I’m already at “need to go to the ER, fuck the money I don’t have” point, and Saer has only just gotten into the USA and the last time they came with me to the ER they ended up with a virus for like three weeks and I wasn’t gonna do that to them again!!) and finally when I got to that hospital they were like “yeah we won’t be able to do the probe until Monday so eat something and then tomorrow you’re on a liquid diet and then nothing by mouth after midnight” so they scrounged me up some chicken broth and orange juice at like ten o’clock at night and gave me Those Good Good Meds and I slept in a decent hospital bed instead of on a fucking ER bed like Friday night (since they were transferring me at the local hospital they didn’t admit me and I slept in the ER. yeah. i hurt too badly to sleep on my side even with pain meds, and I slept on an ER bed. I had to sleep all day Saturday on and off just to get vaguely rested, but honestly? this whole ordeal has been an adventure in sleep deprivation despite heavy sedatives)

Monday rolls around and they take me for the ERCP (iirc thats what it was) where they put a thing down my throat and cut the bile duct wider so the stone could pass, get that bitch cleared up, all is well. I was heavily sedated and remember none of it, just waking up with different pain in my stomach and the world’s worst sore throat.

I was on a liquid diet from that and until the extraction on Wednesday. I have drank my weight in broth and orange juice.

Wednesday they take me in to remove my gallbladder. It was supposed to be a simple laparoscopic procedure, nip it out, pull it, I go home in a couple days with a couple small cuts on my belly. My dad (and several other people) reassured me that it was routine and quick, and is an easy procedure that should take 2 hours at most. I told him, “Listen, with me, literally nothing is ever easy and you know that”

Fast forward to me waking up and my first thought is “is that a catheter? guess it didnt go so easy after all.” I’m pretty sure the first words I said as I woke up were “told you it wouldnt be easy” lmao

Remember how hospital #1 told me that my gallbladder wasn’t inflamed and there were only a couple gallstones?

It was chock goddamn full of gallstones and so inflamed that when they tried to get it out laparoscopically, it tore. He spent an hour trying to get it out that way safely before realizing that his only recourse is to cut me open and get it out that way. The procedure took closer to 5 hours.

I have at least 20 staples in my belly now and I hope I get a cool fuckin scar but shit hurts still. I was in the hospital slowly ramping up to eating solid food again until Friday when I was allowed to go home to Saer. I can’t lift anything more than 20 pounds for another like month, and my range of motion is a fraction of what it was before. I’m so easily exhausted now and i can barely do anything and it’s really fucking pathetic??? and every time I bring that up Saer is like “they TOOK your ORGAN” so

(its really sad that i’m so conditioned that If I’m Not Doing Everything I Can All The Time Then I’m Not Trying Hard Enough that even after having full surgery to remove an organ I’m like NO I CAN DO THE THING and then end up hurting myself s-sobs)

(we watched the episode of b99 today where gina comes back after getting hit by a bus and when she tried to dance while still in the halo saer pointed at her and was like “it u” and i was like “exCUSE” but like, tru)

anyhow, im home, and i have my wife with me, and saer is such a blessing right now because i cannot do SHIT and they need to help me off the couch sometimes if my dumb ass gets in a position with no leverage, and also ive already fallen off the couch like twice because i was like NO I GOT IT and saer was across the room like BEB NO U DONT and yeah im stubborn and stupid ok saer is saving me from myself for the most part

also also the app i drive for is shutting down in my city at the start of december hhhhh so now i also have to fuckin... find a job like this and uGH do not WANT ffff

but yeah thats something even my parents have okayed me holding off on until I’m better so if even my fuckin parents are like “pls chill???” yall know im fucked up

however i’m mostly weaned off opiod pain meds now and am only using them at night when it’s worse and hard to sleep, tylenol tends to take care of it well enough now. my range of motion is improving, too, but i am just still so easily tired that its frustrating. we went grocery shopping yesterday and even in the little motor scooter i was completely worn out by the end of it.

but im alive! all is well! i will continue improving! sorry for being so quiet during this but like I said, i’ve been some level of sedated for most of this event. not fully sedated except for the two procedures, but fentanyl and dilautin (ok i have no idea what it actually is and google isnt helping but i had a button for it) and then morphine and hydrocodone on top of not getting restful sleep At All due to pain, discomfort, and people coming in every hour for vitals checks... I was fuckin Gone i got fuckall done rip

however once my pain-induced blood pressure spike was lowered (i saw them take it at the ER and it was fuckin RED) everyone was like “...you have really good blood pressure??” like i’m pretty sure i have low blood pressure naturally and my size/genetics gives me high blood pressure and they kinda cancel each other out, but yeah. pretty cool.

my family kept swinging between “IF YOURE IN THAT MUCH PAIN FOR 24 HOURS YOU GO TO THE ER. YOU DO NOT WAIT THREE DAYS.” and “...jesus christ you have a high pain tolerance”

//throws the horns thats what chronic pain does to ya baybee

my mom especially was impressed because she was just like “you’re so calm talking to them about how much it hurts how are you doing that” and im just like “its literally wasted energy to freak out and i hurt too badly to move so im just gonna sit here and tell them im a ten and hope they take pity on me because i have no other options”

anyhow fun new experience and im pretty sure ive broken my brother’s hospitalization record and also pretty sure i’ve got enough medical debt on me now that i can literally file for bankruptcy so

also i can feel a void near my ribs and it is so bizarre yall fuckin organs need to close the gap asap bc this shit weird as hell

#life update #drugs tw #body horror tw #surgery

[nationaldoyoungday]

hi!! 💗 i really love your aus 💘 and i was wondering if you have any text au recs?

uwu hi??? thank you i’m glad you like them!! and yes i DO have recs, i have so many omg i just want to spread the love!! underneath the cut are some (a lot) of my favorites thank you so much for asking this 💖💞💝💘💕✨

complicated by @daisyong

19/19 (completed) / jaemin x reader - where both jaemin and y/n are idols and everything is more complicated.

↳ LISTEN. this is so cute i tear up thinking about it. it’s so FLUFFY idk it’s just really good if you wanna feel soft about jaemin

chlorine dreams by @dahyunmingyu

15/15 (completed) / jaehyun x reader - there’s been a long standing rivalry at your school between the basketball team and the swim team. the swim team has been undefeated for 4 years, whereas the basketball team hasn’t won a game in 3. every year the basketball team ends up with all of the funding for the athletics department whereas half of the school doesn’t even know the swim team exists. with a bet that jaehyun wouldn’t even be able to finish a swim practice, y/n threatens the existence of both of their teams

↳ this is such an original idea and um i’m weak for swimmer!nct and it’s just really good pls read it

three’s a crowd by @qiankulture

14/14 (completed) / yuta x reader, ten x reader - y/n and yuta are a dance duo who are often assumed to be dating by fans because of their intimate pieces and how they act around each other. everything is all fine and dandy until a certain model comes into the picture.

↳ i read this before i started this account i think? and just it’s really good words can’t describe how much i like it :(

what is love? by @qiankulture

13/13 (completed) / donghyuck x reader - when haechan pulls a prank on unsuspecting y/n, she isn’t too happy. she does her best to avoid him at all costs. but it seems the universe has other plans because everywhere she looks, haechan is there.

↳ hnnng this was so cute that i hate it? the way that donghyuck tries to tell her that he’s his soulmate? my heart. anyways it’s so good! pls my heart can’t handle it

love bot by @dreamloveclub

7/7 (completed) / mark x reader - mark lee was never good with words — except when it came to talking about you. hidden behind the sanctuary of anonymity, he uses the Love Bot to express his feelings about you.

↳ if you read only one thing on this list PLEASE read this omg!! ellie is a genius and this is quite possibly the cutest thing i’ve ever read in my life? it’s such a good idea and she didn’t get enough love for it :(

love bug by @dreamloveclub

4/? (discontinued) / jeno x reader - two computer science majors and self-proclaimed amateur hackers unknowingly race against each other to find out who their secret admirers are. true love is but a click away.

↳ i didn’t think anything after love bot could be so good but this? it proved me wrong djdjdhdh it’s just as good and as always they are both dumb pls read it

puppy love by @dreammutual

13/13 (completed) / renjun x reader - renjun accidentally likes a picture on y/n’s instagram from almost 2 years ago and, foolery ensues when their mutual friends try to get them together.

↳ this made me spill all my uwus its so cute and funny omg please! i’ve said this already but i really love this (i really love everything on this list djdjdj)

not me, not you by @dyngdo

22/22 (completed) / doyoung x reader - in which a rivalry since grade school never died. y/n has always hated doyoung, and he’s always hated her, or at least that’s what they claim. but when y/n and doyoung have been framed for a crime they didn’t commit, the two have to work together to find out the truth. but amidst all the chaos, they can’t figure out what that bubbling feeling inside their chest is.

↳ as i said before, i am weak for doyoung so uh! surprise another doyoung au djdjdj but whenever this gets updated my heart? i have so much love for this fic

destined by @godrics

22/22 (completed) / donghyuck x reader - the red string of fate exists, and only few families are able to see the string, and these few families can actually cut strings and knot other people’s strings in to alter the soulmate laws. your family have been able to see the red string of fate since the beginning of time, and you are no exception. when you come back to korea after spending your summer in america, you had not expected your best friend to have a boyfriend that wasn’t their soulmate. and you did not expect their boyfriend to be your soulmate. despite this, you want your best friend to be happy, and if that means not spending the rest of your life with your soulmate and being happy yourself, then so be it.

↳ i also believe i read this before making this account? but anyways i love soulmate aus and i have a thing for the red string of fate it’s my favorite!! but this was so realistic (as realistic as a soulmate au can be LMAO) and it was really good!!!

my first and last by @godrics

20/20 (completed) / jaemin x reader - in which na jaemin finally gets the chance he’s been waiting for.

↳ again jaemin fluff? here please just read it. words can’t describe how cute this was!!

fan by @markleeh

25/25 (completed) / jaemin x reader - in which idol!jaemin finds a cellphone number of a nctzen.

↳ hhhhh this was so funny? renjun is such a savage djdjdj i’m always crying when i read this i wish my friends were this funny

how can i love you? by @markleeh

18/18 (completed) / jeno x reader - in which y/n just wants to know how youtuber!jeno looks so fine and how he likes his eggs in the morning.

↳ this was so cute too uwu everything on this list was cute tbh but this was the cutest (i want to know how jeno likes his eggs in the morning too)

not my type by @nakajeno

25/25 (completed) / yuta x reader - y/n doesn’t fall in love, neither does yuta – instead, they make others fall in love with them.

↳ yeah anyways yuta needs more appreciation and love and this fic really. hit me in the feels anyways read this or :/ it was so good jdjdjdjd i’m saying that about everything but? it’s true!

home sweet home by @dreamboynana

22/22 (completed) / renjun x reader - maybe falling in love with teen model huang renjun was a bad idea….but then again when did you ever think things through?

↳ rei is such a good writer omg!! renjun as a model hell yes!! anyways this has the perfect amount of fluff and angst and if you don’t read it you’re a coward it deserves all the love in the world

need to know by @solecitojun

20/? (in progress) / yukhei x reader, taeyong x reader - friendships are all meant to be based on honesty, yet there are many things being hidden in yours. in which your bestfriend has to figure out his feelings, and college is sending everyone on a spiral.

↳ ok listen. so i read a few aus before i started this account but um. this was the very first au and i’m telling you. i hate it so much but i love it more ughghgh i hate angst but um this really is trying to get me to love it!! yukhei deserves more but i mean don’t we all?

too late by @solecitojun

3/? (in progress) / doyoung x reader - same upbringing, same neighborhood, same lifestyle ; but what he thinks is two different worlds. they’re both from the underground scence, one fighter and another a musician. years are left uncovered. could it be too late for him, or for you?

↳ doyoung. that’s all i have to say djdjdj. no but seriously your au ideas are so good and this one is no exception i love it :(

sunrise by @wereseoyoung

15/15 (completed) / johnny x reader - no. moon y/n is not in love with one of the university night time radio hosts. it’s just a crush! … kinda… but he’s not interested! … probably.

↳ if you hear me screaming about something? it’s this fic? listen there aren’t like. any johnny aus out there but this one makes up for it because its SO GOOD?? this is literally all i’m ever going to talk about for the rest of my life unfollow me if you haven’t read this djdjdjd i love it so much :(((

starstruck by @wereseoyoung

1/? (in progress) / yuta x reader - can you believe that every tuesday practice the yuta nakamoto — smu alumni and now striker of one of korea’s biggest soccer clubs — will come down to help assist with practices? y/n doesn’t really care though. her job is to be the manager. not be impressed by some soccer star. but maybe sometimes he’s kinda cool.

↳ anyways can’t believe you are a genius and really have an au planned out for every member? i wish i was as organized and talented as you!!! this hasn’t even really started and i’m already in love save me :(

black and blue by @1nomins

10/10 (completed) / jaemin x reader, jeno x reader - everywhere a soulmate touches leaves flowers, and everywhere someone else you’ve fallen in love with touches leaves bruises. you’re happy to suffer.

↳ spence did you know i hate you because of this. not really but i love everything you write and it’s always angsty and i always end up hurting afterwards but its worth it :(

10 step love by @1nomins

12/12 (completed) / jeno x reader - or, alternatively, lee jeno’s (and huang renjun’s) 10 step foolproof program to getting the girl.

↳ can’t believe you wrote something so fluffy? anyways this is like my guilty pleasure and i love the playlist for it!! with the frank sinatra songs sjdjdjdj

1-800-loveline by @1nomins

15/15 (completed) / jeno x reader - you never imagined that finding a phone number in a school library book could lead to anything. you were oh-so-wrong.

↳ loveline? yeah i hate it. only read this if you feel like hurting yourself! i’m kidding, it’s so good but so sad but worth it in the end, as it is with anything spence writes

#r #anon #answered #i just want to spread the love #and everyone on this list deserves love #:( #i spent like two hours making this but uh! #worth it my dudes

[tentimesbetter]

[1/5] Hhhhhh I’m sorry I was so silent >.< I had a big exam today and tbh I was lowkey (highkey) freaking out over it yesterday and the day before?? I didn’t even realize I was so nervous because of the exam until I finished it today. I hope it went alright but… yeah I don’t know. *throws all my attention at you* I’m back now, I hope you didn’t miss me too much ;;;; Also it makes me kinda sad to see people playing Ateez’ wins down like that? Just because they’re such a young group?

[2/5] They have a huge fanbase already, their views and sales are doing well – so I doubt kq bought the wins… Like I get the saltiness when you see a super young group have their first win instead of your faves, especially if your faves have been in the industry for far longer, I’m not gonna lie I feel it too sometimes. But those rookies still deserve their awards. They’ve worked their *sses off just like everyone else, and they will continue to do so I’m sure.

[3/5] I’m just happy for them, plus they’re one group less that has to go through the pressure of finally getting their first win when people think they’re already “overdue”. lol don’t we all have those fics that once seemed like a good idea until they kinda just.. weren’t anymore? I abandoned so many stories in my life, I’d feel bad listing them all^^” (tbh I can’t even remember all of them) And I had to google Arcana, but now that I know what it is I actually keep getting ads for that xD

[4/5] Is the game good? - “it’s only a man what will I lose” okay I had to laugh at that but it’s actually a really nice mindset? You don’t have to keep pursuing someone who isn’t interested… I guess you’d only end up getting hurt and wasting your time on waiting for something that will most likely never happen… (that’s something teenage me should’ve understood sooner lol…) Oh also since you said you might get into SF9 - I mean they are my ults sooo I could help you get into them if you want 👀

AAAAHHHHH omf! I really hope your exam went well! Did you get a break after the exam? I can imagine the stress but please remember that you did your best in the given circumstances ok? I was just a little worried about where you were? Don't worry about me being whiny aha. Just focus on the next exam if there's any and make sure you get your breaks and don't overwork yourself okay? Make sure you eat and drink enough water and get at least four hours of sleep if not six, aight? What was the exam about?

And yeah, it makes me a little smad about how people are sidelining and downplaying their achievements because they won even though they're new. Like I understand being disappointed but??? they worked just as hard for this win. Probably worked a little harder because they're new and they need to make sure they give their 900% so that people will notice them. I don't understand the whole idea of disregarding another group's hardwork when your group loses, ngl. Like just because you're sad doesn't mean you can shit on someone else. I really hope SF9 will get a win though because RPM is hella nice. Their music in general is nice aaahhh so I hope it'll pay off and they'll get what they deserve :/

Arcana aaahhh yes. It's actually good. I love the artwork for the game and the way they don't force any gender specific MC designs is hella heartening like there isn't a default design at all and just ;-;;;;; I appreciate that so much I'm not even kidding. Plus the characters are diverse in terms of identity??? And just bless that stuff. And I really really fuck with the way the story is written out?? You know the developers put their heart and soul into it. The only thing that's a little sad is that you require to have game coins to do select of the options and since you only get a limited number of coins at the beginning of the game + you need to buy the coins, it's a little difficult but there's mod versions for that even if they are like not recent updated versions aha.

Overdue, abandoned works are all I have most of time I'm not even kidding. Half of them I think I should delete bc I don't think I'll ever go back to them because I don't write like that anymore and also??? I don't stan those groups as much as I used to? Like I have BTS, ASTRO and GOT7 wips and I know I won't ever finish them??? But the plots for those are p well thought out and the idea of losing them makes me sad. I keep thinking I'll revamp them to a group I do stan now but idek if I'll do that ahaha.

I'd honestly love it if you helped me get into SF9 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I found their drama when it released and I was literally obsessed with Sole Mio and Mamma Mia when those came out. Idk why I never got into them honestly.

Also about my attitude,,,, it's actually come after such a long time?? Like teenager me would have benefited so much if I had this attitude back then because I know I took so many hits on my self esteem when my friends would start dating or have boys ask them out and I didn't??? Half of it now is bc I look at Irene and I'm like "there's no way she would want me to be sad about a boy not liking me" and hhhh I'm nothing if not willing to live up to the people I admire. This boy though,,,,, I think I'm more sad because I know he started talking to me because he was interested in me? And I like talking to him bc he never did try any moves (I know he was interested in me bc of a very interesting story) so I was genuinely 🥰🥺 about it. And he's nice to talk to so I'm just really sad about how he'll stop talking to me when he loses interest :/ It's just a little disappointing. It was nice to be friends with him.

Sorry about replying so late, my wifi was being wonky so the answer wouldn’t post??? and then I went out with a friend so I couldn’t reply until rn

#answered 🌼 #anon asks 👀✨ #secret atiny anon 🤫💕 #im so sorry it took so long to reply #📬 its the asks

[ndmlm]

hello the gay disaster from the youth group is back hhhhh. this is a long one so i hope ur prepared. it’s also in no way organized it’s just Gay Rambling. at this last meeting we mainly just played cards against humanity and it was Hella Fun. my crush sat next to me and like idk if it’s just me but he seemed to be touching my hand a lot 👀. (1/5)

YES GAY RAMBLING OK I’M READY

like he was high fiving me a lot and he compared hand sizes with me. we also meet in a church so beforehand he was all like “we should say a prayer so we don’t go to hell lmao” and told me to hold his hand for it. which i did. and we were all making dirty jokes the whole time cuz that’s just how cards against humanity is. nothing overtly sexual or enough to make anyone uncomfortable, but some things he said to me were Not Very Platonic. (2/5)

comparing hand sizes,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,oh hun

fuck i think he was flirting with me. for some reason i’m just realizing this now i really am a dumb gay huh? and like i thought about asking him out, and then i didn’t. for some reason i still have my doubts as to whether or not he likes me and the thought of asking anybody out gives me Big Anxiety. but hoo boy if i wasn’t into him before i sure am now. i just wanna kiss him and hold his hand and buy him flowers 💓💕💖💞💗💘. (3/5)

from the information i have, i am 100% certain that if u asked him out he’d say yes omg hkdsjd

jdjdkdjd idk but this crush feels different than ones i’ve had before. just thinking about him makes me feel sooo happy and i just think about him 24/7 so i’m just happy about him all the time, smiling like an idiot. it’s affecting my daily life lmao. i literally have a history project due tomorrow but i’d rather talk about him. i’ve been listening to only love songs for the past 3 days. (4/5)

huN do not let him get away omg

i’m slowly realizing that if this doesn’t work out i’m gonna be Fucked. unfortunately this was the last meeting for a while cuz they line up with the school year and i don’t even know if they’re doing it next year cuz this is the first one. i’m Stressed cuz if i don’t see him until september i might actually die. the group does have plans to go to pride together, so that better work out. i’ve been talking for a While so i hope this wasn’t weird or tmi and was at least semi entertaining. (5/5) 

please please please ask this boy out oh my god, and please tell me exactly how it goes lmaoo. seriously tho this is so cute !! there’s no way he’s not into u, b. also asking someone out at pride is the move tbh. i am very entertained and enthralled do keep me updated !!!!!!!

#i'm gayer than usual in this reply but like it's pride month #Anonymous #answered

[cowardlytrait]

☀ 100 questions no one really asks ☀

i was tagged by @batsysims , thank you ! 😊

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED?

i sleep with it closed !! it’s mainly so one of my younger sisters doesn’t go in there tbh 

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS? i’ve never actually stayed at a hotel so no djghdfgbd

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT? out?? whenever i do sleep with a sheet on my bed, because i tend to not remake my bed so i generally sleep without a sheet for a while which i know isnt good for you so im trying to break that :/ 

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE? i considered it once, bc i was walking to my friends place on new years eve and i saw a street sign that fell in a storm , and i almost took it.. except i still had 10 more mins until i got to her house , and i didnt want to have the possibility of getting caught . also ?? idk how  i wouldve brought it home on the bus 

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES?  y e! but i dont use them enough ngl 

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM? nah, but my mom does that v often . and i often have a bunch of coupon reciepts / punch cards from different places that i always forget about 

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES? hhhhh bees

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? i have a few !! primarily on my arms and legs, and a few on my face,, i never really had many until last year 

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES? yes?? im p bad at smiling for photos tho ngl 

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? when someone asks me to do something, and then i say sure.. and then they repeat it like 2 mins later and im like.. fa m, now i dont wanna 

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK? sometimes ! a lot of the time i end up focusing on not stepping on cracks tho?? idk it’s a weird habit i started sometime last year that im trying not to do 

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS? nah

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS? nah 

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING? sometimes yeah ! i tend to if im dancing with one of my siblings tho , like just grabbing their hands and making them dance with me 

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS? yupyupyupyup :/

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK? 0 x 0 = 0 

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? a single? i dk it’s small and sucks ng l 

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK? u  h h h  h h h  , probably are we there yet?  - ingrid michaelson 

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK? yupyup! ! ! 

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? yup ! voltron is actually currently one of my favorite shows , but i also watch su and several other cartoons ! i also watch anime when i feel like it but not as often as i used to 

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE? minions 

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME? idek ?? defos not anywhere in this town that’s fo sure 

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER? depends ! sometimes water, sometimes milk, sometimes juice. but generally i try to avoid drinking anything while eating and have a drink afterwards

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN? i usually dont dip them in anything , but depending on my mood: mayo or ketchup 

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? pizza ! 

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE? u h h , titan ae , the fifth element, any barbie movies and more tbh 

27. LAST PERSON, YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU? i cant remember? i probably kissed my brother on the forehead but idk 

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT? nope

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE? if cash is involved absolutely

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER? i wrote a letter in my friends’ birthday cards. 

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR? nope : /

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET? djhsd i dont even have my G2 yet and cant even drive so o o 

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS? nope 

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH? meat, pickles, and cheese 

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? toast + chocolate milk 

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME? 11 or 12 (altho my sleeping schedule has been fucked for the past week) 

37. ARE YOU LAZY? lmao yeah 

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN? i was once a goth fairy, a dead nerd and a lady bug ! those are the ones i remember off the top of my head fgjfdgd 

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? tiger ! 

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK? i can only speak english, but i have a vague understanding of french 

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? nope

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS? wtf are lincoln logs  update: i’ve never played with lincoln logs in my life so legos 

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN? very

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN? ?? idk 

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS? when i was younger and my mom would ,yup 

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? very ! 

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR? yup ! often when me and 3 of my friends hand out we will drive around and listen to musicals + other music ! 

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? if im listening to music yuppers ! 

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR? same as 47 ^ 

50. EVER USED A GUN? nope

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER? last se

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY? sometimes, but i still really enjoy them so !! 

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL? oh boi yeah, esp because of all the kids in my house + my mom’s family, and this year i’ll be dog sitting around that time so this year is gonna be f u n 

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI? not authentic ones, but yeah ! altho im allergic to potatoes so i dont eat them v much at all anymore 

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE? i dont like pie actually :/

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? i always wanted to be a teacher ! since like grade 3, but now i want to be a graphic designer , but tbh being a history teacher would be fun as well ! 

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? yeah i do 

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING? all the time 

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY? nah :/  i probs should lmao 

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS? nope 

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE? nah 

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? usually just my undies but when im living with other people il wear a soft shirt and my dc heroes pajama bottoms ayyy

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT? justin bieber in grade 8 i think ?? 

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART? walmart bc there’s no more targets in canada.. otherwise, target

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS? niether 

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS? cheetos... idk what fritos are lmao 

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS? neither tbh 

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN? no 

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS? i wanted to but never did “/

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING? idk ?? 

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? i dont think so ? 

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE? i think i was in one once?? but i dont remember it ?? did i win who knows

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY? oh yeah boi 

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS? nope,  but my dad owns a lot !  

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER? my dad does ! 

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE? nah, but my mom does ! 

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? i think so? ? 

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT? real friends, hanson, set it off and more tbh 

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW? same as 63

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA? hot!!!!

81. TEA OR COFFEE? coffee!!!!!!! !! ! ! ! ! !

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES? sugar cookies !! 

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL? nah lmao im shit 

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE? yup

85. ARE YOU PATIENT? depends ! im p patient with kids, but have no patience when it comes to being late or waiting on someone. 

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING? band probs

87. EVER WON A CONTEST? i once won a 4ft cat in the hat from my local short stop when i was 4 

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY? nah  89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES? neither 

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET? i learned how to crochet once?? but i forgot it so neither lmao 

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE? livingroom or bedroom 

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? sort off? ?

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED? no

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH? uh  h h  m  , currently crushing on someone actually lmao 

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY? no?? 

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? nope 

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS? yup ! ! 

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? pink !! ! ! ! !  !

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW? sort off?? i miss my old best friend and i feel sort of disconnected rn with everyone

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS TAG NEXT? uhhh , idk who’s done this so i guess @geekmoodlet @maimouth @applezingsims @simprising @shook-sims if you’ve already done it then just ignore this ! ! ! 😝

#tag games #about me #nonsims #saviourhide

[cliveboney]

#i hope the read more works. if it doesnt uhh im sorry #text posting #mp blogging #ugh i guess #vent post