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#honestly I could have posted every single one
totally-italy · 3 days
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Wherefore dost motivation hold deep hatred for me?
As the heading probably implies, I am currently lacking a lot of motivation, which is truly sub-optimal because I literally have my Italian GCSEs this week and I literally have not revised. Moreover, my End of Years are fast approaching and I have my French GCSEs in three week's time. Help.
Consequentially, even though my history teacher still refuses to believe that it is a word, I have decided to turn this into one of those posts where my dopamine literally just relies on the number of notes that I recieve. As promised, @the-red-planet-mars, the floor is yours you have been tagged.
Rules:
Please don't spam the comment section.
You can tag a maximum of 5 people.
Please don't spam reblog.
10 notes: I will actually plan my English homework so that I can then do it without having to ask for an extension. It is due on the day on which I have two of my Italian papers.
15 notes: I will update my 'Aeneid' notes so that my virtual document is up to date with the translations that we have done in class. I should technically also revise the themes and how Juno is portrayed, but we don't talk about that right now.
20 notes: If I haven't done this yet, I will create both a Spanish Quizlet with all the vocabulary I need to learn and I will create a Latin one for all the vocabulary from 'The Aeneid' that I need to know.
25 notes: I will plan, in English, different things that I could say for the picture for my French IGCSE oral. Also, this is a picture I will be using for my Spanish End of Years, so that is doubly helpful.
30 notes: I will do an Italian listening paper though I will listen to it at a faster speed than what is asked because otherwise I will literally get so bored and lose all will to live.
45 notes: I will finish researching Virgil and the historical context.
60 notes: I will practice Latin and Greek vocabulary on Quizlet every day after this week, for at least 10 minutes each day for each language.
75 notes: I really need to do this. I will make a poster with how to form different tenses in Italian.
100 notes: I will do an Italian Writing practice paper. This is going to cause me so much suffering. Help me.
120 notes: I will actually write down different expressions, including idomatic phrases, that I could use to describe the picture for my French IGCSE oral.
130 notes: I will make physics notes on energy.
140 notes: I will make notes on quantitative chemistry.
150 notes: I will make a poster with how to form different tenses in French.
155 notes: I will watch the AQA videos on the Cold War and make notes on them.
170 notes: I will do a practice Spanish listening paper.
200 notes: I will practice Latin and Greek vocabulary on Quizlet every day after this week, for at least 30 minutes each day for each language, including a written vocabulary test.
230 notes: I will do a practice Spanish reading and writing paper.
250 notes: I will do a practice Latin translation and ask my teacher if she happens to have a mark scheme.
270 notes: I will do a practice Greek translation and ask my teacher if she happens to have a mark scheme.
300 notes: I will finish my RSP notes on Crime and Punishment.
350 notes: I finish my Biology notes on reproduction.
380 notes: I will finish my RSP notes on Religion and Life.
430 notes: I will look through my history notes on Germany and finish them in accordance to the AQA book.
520 notes: I will do a practice Greek language paper.
530 notes: I will do a practice Latin language paper.
605 notes: I will actually write down different expressions, including idomatic phrases, that I could use to describe the picture for my Spanish End of Year oral.
720 notes: I will finish my RSP notes on Buddhism.
850 notes: I will make full notes on the Cold War.
Honestly, if you have even bothered to read through all of these, you have absolutely earned more respect that I thought I was capable of giving to a single human being. I technically have a lot more things I should do, including re-reading Things Fall Apart and actually making complete maths notes, as well as notes for the sciences, but I doubt I will never get this many tags anyway.
Edit: It has been five minutes and I already got 14 notes. I am actually terrified of this site. What in Tartarus? Y'all are crazy and I love you so much.
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sl0t4matt · 2 days
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Can you do pablo gavi boyfriend canons like the ones for Marc and Hector. Pleasee
ofc i can do one of gavi thank you, anon for requesting!!
p. gavi bf! head canons
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❀ bf! gavi, that was completely whipped with you, ever since the both of you started talking.
❀ bf! gavi, who swears he hates it when people call him “pablito”, but doesn’t mind if you do.
❀ bf! gavi, that cooks breakfast not only for himself, but as well you before going to practice.
❀ bf! gavi, who you took care of when he got injured.
❀ ”it hurts so bad, fuck.”
❀ ”my poor baby, you want anything?”
❀ ”i just wanna cuddle you right now.”
❀ bf! gavi, that you absolutely love calling angry bird, when he gets home from another game all angry. you know the red one with the six pac? it’s him!
❀ “i fucking hate this.”
❀ “okay calm down, angry bird.”
❀ bf! gavi, that even though he is such an irritable person, is the softest boyfriend with you. you kind of have a calming affect on him.
❀ bf! gavi, who’s first thing he does when he gets home from a game is cuddle you. you would give him massages to calm and relax him after the exhausting games. do you only do that to see his hot and trained back? totally!
❀ bf! gavi, that makes sure you get anything you please, wether it being buying a book you wanna read or a expensive designer bag, he’ll get it for you.
❀ bf! gavi, that begs for good luck kisses before every single game. (he just wants to take every opportunity to kiss you)
❀ “just one! please, ma.”
❀ “fine, you needy bitch!”
❀ bf! gavi, that absolutely loves bottoming, just the thought of you being on top of him, riding him, could make him come.
❀ bf! gavi, that gets turned on by the tiniest things you do, like cropping your barca jersey when at a match. you would watch him on the field, pulling his pants down a little in order to not see his obvious boner. you think it’s funny, honestly.
❀ bf! gavi, that usually is a dogs person but got a cat for you.
❀ bf! gavi, that gets you coffee every morning, feeding your obsession.
❀ bf! gavi, that would repost every single post you’d post on instagram, as well as commenting the sweetest comments.
❀ bf! gavi, that loves watching every single one of your little snap stories that, you send to him about your day, yapping about what happened at college etc.
❀ bf! gavi, that shows you every single one of his tricks he can do with a ball, always trying to impress you.
❀ bf! gavi, who yaps to pedri about how perfect you are and how he’s going to marry you.
❀ bf! gavi, that would steal kisses at you, when at a dinner with the barca team.
❀ bf! gavi, that loves to talk about how perfect it would be to have a little boy with you, he can teach football to. he would call it the messi project. (😭)
❀ bf! gavi, that absolutely adores sleeping on your chest. the rhythm of your heartbeat giving him some kind of comfort.
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butch-reidentified · 2 days
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if you think agp is a thing(and presumably exclusive to trans women) what do you think of cis women claiming to masturbate in front of mirrors and CIA women who report being aroused by breastfeeding?
literally every single answer to these questions is available on my blog. I'm tired of writing the same posts over and over and over. if you can't find sufficient answers scrolling my blog, searching key words on my blog (or on google citing my blog, which yields better results oftentimes), going through the links in my pinned, or checking the tags referenced in my pinned, then I'd say if it's reeeeally important to you to get answers, your best bet will be to sit tight and occasionally check for updates to my Pinned as I am gradually adding more and more links detailing my views, and/or skim my blog from time to time - it's pretty much guaranteed to cycle through again within a month at most 🤷
I was actually gonna put a partial (that is to say, just not my usual thorough, detailed, and nuanced) answer at the beginning, but honestly I'm getting VERY tired of anonymous strangers who most likely just stumbled across my blog for the first time today thinking they're entitled to a personalized thinkpiece from me when almost every time I get an ask like this (which are distinctly different from good faith curiosities, which I'm more than happy to answer), I've already posted my answer, I've already written about the subject in depth on my blog. so I'll put my answer below instead so you have to read all of the above first, so you at least sort of vaguely kinda earn some response by putting in a miniscule fraction of the work/time I've put into both reading/informing myself about all sorts of different opinions, ideologies, experiences, perspectives, and views (rather than just demanding opinions from strangers on anon, lmao) and writing countless posts (& that's just on here, ignoring the offline side which is where I'm wayyy more active), which are almost always VERY long and detailed and proofread and edited and polished several times over.
btw, kind of a side note -- I have NEVER sent a single anon in my life, and I have NEVER, anonymously or not, demanded someone give me a personalized just-for-me explanation of their opinions (or any at all). the reason I call this entitlement is because you (most likely) aren't asking out of genuine curiosity or good faith. you (most likely) are asking because you dislike what you think my views are (you are most likely misinformed and think I believe things I do not) and you (most likely) think this is some kind of gotcha rather than the same ignorant, unoriginal, boring ass points that I've read countless times as far back as when I was a transactivist and trans-identifying myself. they've been debunked/responded to by a LOT of other women, too, and I'm very confident you could easily find at least one such response. I'm not holding you to a standard I don't also hold myself to; in fact, that I'm going to give you any degree of actual answer at all is demonstrative of my holding myself to a HIGHER standard. because again, nothing I'm about to say on this topic is just now in this post being born into the universe as a novel thought. or even a novel tumblr post; like I said, you could find the radfem answers to this ask yourself with just a tiny bit of effort - and while radfems are far from a monolith, and I am a frequent vocal dissenter on a variety of radblr hot topics, this isn't even really a matter of opinion. read on to find out why.
Part A - Not answering the questions here per se, but a clarification of terminology that may help you (any reader, not necessarily anon) see my perspective:
The word "cis" has different definitions. It used to mean someone who is not trans, whereas trans referred to sex-dysphoric transitioners, a demographic who now often prefer terms like transsexual or transsex or simply "sex-dysphoric" BECAUSE they don't agree with gender identity ideology (GII) and object to the way GII has been actively hostile to them and erased transsexuality (and thus their identities, needs, beliefs, and experiences as well), similarly to the ways in which GII engages with pretty much everything that isn't complete and total blind allegiance. These include but are far from limited to:
1. Obfuscating people's (especially children's/young adults' - as they are the primary consumers of most GII content by far) understanding of biology, particularly as it pertains to the sexes of human beings and sexual dimorphism, and inserting "gender identity" as a direct (but importantly not synonymous or remotely parallel) replacement for the material and biological reality of sex. Sex, absent patriarchy and the gender construct, is simply a neutral and factual categorization of human beings: sex categorizes human body types according to the two developmental pathways that evolved solely for the purpose of producing one gamete type or the other to enable perpetuation of the species via sexual reproduction. What this statement does NOT imply to anyone reading it with even an ounce of integrity/intellectual honesty: "women are defined by having babies," "infertile/childfree adult female humans are not women," "humans with anomalous sexual development of any variety are not male or female, but rather a 3rd sex or even proof sex is a spectrum," or anything along these lines; I refer to these arguments as intellectually dishonest because they are originally intentional (disinformation -> misinformation) misinterpretations & serve to moralize, dogmatize, and essentially theologize facts of nature.
This obfuscation of biology is committed via a variety of tactics that frequently include outright gaslighting; "gender and sex are different" turned into "sex is actually a spectrum" (it's not - read on to learn why not!) and then outright science denial while gaslighting others as being the unscientific, uneducated, "3rd grade understanding of biology" ones (again, this is simply factually not true*).
*Feel free to request to see a peer-reviewed neuroscience journal publication bearing my name and/or my thesis (original research regarding the overlapping genetics + epigenetics of norepinephrine dysregulation in both dysautonomia and attention deficit disorders) if you are skeptical of my credentials regarding biology. alternatively, feel free to cite your sources and I will provide a free-of-charge peer review service :)
2. Building from #1, the erasure of patriarchal sex-based oppression of women & girls (by definition: human beings of the female sex, adults & children respectively) via aforementioned tactics obfuscating sex biology & human biology in favor of an innate, internal "gender identity" which is extremely poorly defined with the individual "gender identities" themselves left utterly non-delineated. Gender identity ideology is to be taken entirely on pure faith, despite the fact that there is absolutely no evidence to support gender identity as a universal component of human beings/universal human experience. In fact, the existence of absolutely any nonzero quantity of human beings who do not experience gender identity firmly disproves it as universal human experience - and we know not all humans have a gender identity. However, every human being experiences sexual development, be it typical, disordered (DSDs, congenital infertility, etc), or otherwise anomalous; the vast majority experience typical sexual development, and one's sex is entirely clear in the vast majority of atypical cases as well. Female humans are oppressed on the basis of our biological reproductive capabilities; patriarchy desires control over the female sex as a direct product of its desire to control reproduction. Patriarchy created the gender construct to instill and enforce a caste system between the sexes upholding the patriarchal dogma of male supremacy and female inferiority. Similarly, patriarchy created father-gods in order to make the creation of life a male act. Erasure of sex in favor of the gender construct serves male supremacy and cannot ever be anti-patriarchal or feminist. Evidence of sex based oppression abounds offline (frankly, you need look no further than menstruation stigma in all its forms up to and including menstrual huts, but there is infinitely more evidence) and right here on my blog as well; I even have some posts tagged to serve as proof of sex based oppression.
3. Erasing homosexuality via working toward erasure of exclusive same-sex attraction (this is particularly targeted at lesbians, and this is VERY well documented. I have many examples of this in my TRA Receipts tag, including a particularly excellent masterpost containing, in total iirc THOUSANDS of screenshots), once again replacing sex with "gender identity" as if one's orientation being defined as attraction to another human's invisible, internal, and highly individual "gender identity," which not all humans even purport to have in the first place, could possibly make any sense. This is uniquely absurd.
As stated in the 2nd link in #1 on my Pinned, I object to the usage of "cis" for non-trans-identifying people. Why? At the core of it, because the most commonplace definition of "cis"/'cisgender" that I see at this point in time is "having a gender identity that aligns with what was assigned at birth." As stated above, gender identity is not universal, rendering "cisgender" equally as personal and internal of an identity label as "transgender" - and these are not a pure dichotomy by any means. Radical feminism does not grant any degree of objective factual legitimacy to the gender construct; thus, no radical feminist is or can be, by definition, transgender or cisgender (this does not carry over to whether or not radfems can have dysphoria or even be medically transitioned). Radfems are not the only humans without "gender identities," and it is dishonest and disrespectful to force the term/label onto everyone else according to an ideology we/they may not share.
Part B - The Long-Awaited Answer! [I changed my mind since this ended up significantly longer than initially planned so here ya go]
Autogynephilia was coined as a term with a specific definition. That definition is still the same one in use today. That definition explicitly states that only males can qualify. That definition is: "a paraphilia that describes when a man experiences sexual arousal from the thought of himself as a woman" per Google, and "a male's propensity to be sexually aroused by the thought of himself as a female" per Blanchard's original stated intention for the term he created. Wikipedia goes on to add "intending for the term to refer to 'the full gamut of erotically arousing cross-gender behaviors and fantasies.'"
I have many criticisms of Blanchard himself and of the quality of his research methodologies. However, the evidence for the existence of the paraphilia itself is abundant and undeniable given that many males outright refer to themselves as autogynephiles and many have openly discussed their experiences as someone with this paraphilia. What I do not believe is that all trans-identifying males are AGPs, that there is proven legitimacy to the HSTS/AGP dichotomy (even Blanchard himself said not all OSA trans-identifying males are AGPs - just a whole lot of them), or that non-trans-identifying males can't be AGPs - actually I think it's likely that most AGPs don't identify as transgender.
The core of the paraphilia, the source of the arousal, is a product of the patriarchal sex caste system; autogynephiles are aroused by the idea of themselves as women - as they themselves have stated - because of the sexual objectification of femaleness and/or because they're aroused by degradation and humiliation (as is blatantly obviously on brilliant display in the existence of and obsession with "forced feminization" and similar female-degrading sexual concepts), and the AGP male views femaleness and the gender that patriarchy has forcibly ascribed to femaleness ("femininity") as inferior and thus sees his engagement in performing femininity as degrading - which in turn sexually excites him.
One reason some women find themselves arousing in their own bodies and natural non-performative states is the same as when men find themselves arousing in their own bodies and natural non-performative states: self-confidence increases libido and associations can be made between A and B. Where women and men inevitably differ, however, is about the arousal surrounding performing femininity and/or sexual self-objectification. It is not at all unreasonable to speculate that some women can be turned on when they "feel hot" for a reason other than just self-confidence; for one speculative example, it's possible that some women may see herself in the mirror all dressed up in hypersexualized clothing and feel that they've succeeded in mirroring the pornified images and sexually-appealing-to-males beauty expectations. Ultimately, this is self-objectification. It's patriarchy and the male gaze that have forced these associations onto all of society, and hypersexual associations have a tendency of causing sexual arousal in people (duh).
Oh and I've never heard of women being aroused by breastfeeding, only complaining about it being painful asf, but like. Nipples are among the most common and well-documented non-genital erogenous areas so? This seems terribly unlikely to be a common phenomenon, but utterly irrelevant to the existence of autogynephilia regardless lol. If this is a thing, like I said I doubt it's commonplace at all, but even just hypothetically, I'd say it would distinctly fall in line with everything else I say in this answer. Patriarchy and its pornographers have indeed sexualized breastfeeding - there are a concerning number of men who ask their partners NOT TO BREASTFEED their babies - his own children! - because it makes him JEALOUS and even resent the baby. I'm dead serious you can look this up, it happens. So... read on for elaboration.
I neither know nor care precisely what you're referencing in this ask, because the answer remains the same: autogynephilia by definition can only affect males, and males who have a fetish for the idea of themselves as female, be that through imagining themselves Fucked (anatomically female, specifically in a sexually objectified - aka Fucked - manner; the anatomical/biological form of autogynephilia fetishizes the male subject imagining himself as the female Fucked object of pornography) or Feminine (as discussed above) fundamentally are not and cannot be the same as women who are turned on by feeling like they look sexually appealing or by their own natural anatomy or biological functions (which have been violently hypersexualized by patriarchy). This is a form of internalized misogyny; when men do it, it's just misogyny. These are not the same.
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gatoraid · 9 months
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A man lost in time
Alyosha’s route in Love Shore
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disposal-blueeee · 6 months
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halloween thing i drew for an art trade with @cherry-207 ! she asked for edgar and scri dressed as angel and devil . you can see her part here !
edgar vargas belongs to jhonen vasquez
scriabin belongs to @zarla-s
#hello . uhhhhhhhhhhh#UHHH WAIT WAIT I CAN EXPLAIN I SWEAR#i know i haven't posted a thing since like A MONTH AND I'M SORRY BUT i have a really nice excuse for this . yes .#right after posting devi's drawing my mom BROKE HER FOOT ?? WOAH !#and idk maybe i was sad or . stressed because i had to do a bunch of things my mom used to take care of and it was really stressing#this + school stuff + a drawing a day + some other things pretty much started killing me#and suddenly i was getting hives every single day after 11.30pm . yeah . it was TERRIBLE#so uh . i had to stop doing some stuff for my own wellbeing . like . drawing . for example#but it worked !#now i just have a bunch of mosquito bites on my hands . they seem to like them .#OH SO well um YEAH DRAWING#an art trade with one of my friends !!!! drawing this was honestly so fun#as you can see this is from october 25th . but i wanted to wait for brusk to finish her piece before posting it#te quedó precioso emily . valió totalmente la pena la espera . tqm#edgar's costume looked so boring next to scriabin's#he looked way prettier with wings but if i wanted to add them i would have to erase 90% of scriabin and he came out so pretty to do that#so . instead of making him wear something pretty and detailed like scri's costume i had to make him wear something you could see and think#“ oh yeah that's an angel ”#i explained this to brusk after showing her the drawing and she said#“ if you think about it . him having a traditional costume fits his character "#and i was like OH#ACTUALLY YEAH THAT'S COOL#anyways i really like this one . the colors are so pretty . i finally found a way to make my colors warm and pretty .#WELL UH THAT'S TOO MANY TAGS BYE#vargas#zarla s#vargas zarla#scriabin vargas#edgar vargas
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lesbianspeedy · 1 year
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Bart Allen/Kid Flash & Mia Dearden/Speedy Green Arrow Vol. 3 #46 Teen Titans Vol. 3 #21 - #34
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akolnoix · 7 months
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despite platforming being my mortal enemy, i am determined to become one of the 5 people who cares about steal princess
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moregraceful · 7 days
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i was gonna watch the vgk-dal game to bandwagon the stars but then i realized that if i have to see hertl in that jersey even once it's literally my last day, and also mike grier's last day, on planet earth, so.
#KELLY MCCRIMMON I HOPE THE CEILING FAN FALLS ON U#pulling a dq and telling people to just throw me off a bridge honestly#i usually try to have a value-neutral position on teams idc abt but the hertl trade made me blacklist every possible variation of the#team's name and lb and every associated tag so. sorry. lol coming out of my cage and i'm not doing fine#i wrote robo/nick s instead#2.3k and nothing happens in it#they literally go drink boba and yearn for manju but the manju shop is closed#also have been given some valuable feedback. there are cities in which people recognize hockey players in the wild?? that happens in#quebec??? god imagine seeing and recognizing nick suzuki in the grocery store i would just leave#imagine seeing a shark in the grocery store i would not even notice i'd just be like get out of my way you're blocking the kombucha#so i have to do some rewriting anyway bc a chunk of the fic is like has nick suzuki ever been recognized in his life. answer: yes!!!#i assume robo is not being recognized by non-hockey fans anyway lol dallas has american football baseball and basketball#the city got other concerns#i always laugh when canadians are like isn't hockey one of your big four sports 🤨#i'm like. tiers of american sports: 1: college basketball and college football. 2: football basketball and baseball. 2.5: hockey#u could put connor mcdavid in a grocery store and people would be like get this guy's ass out of the fruit section he's killing the vibe#i spent 20 hours at church over the weekend guys and i refused to read or answer a single email from anyone associated with church#all day bc i was like i need a break from you people. but people started texting me instead i was like ....#didn't read or answer those either lol#i was gonna refill a queue tonight but a i just spent 45 minutes on these tags b i saw a picture of trea turner that got me in my 🥺#c was writing a touching tribute to manju and hot guys of which there are none in san jose (hot guys. there's plenty of manju#in san jose)#and now i am like. am i crazed enough to have an opinion on 150 posts in one hour??#let's find out lmao#fresno oilers.txt
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dandyshucks · 2 months
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blinks tiredly. i decide "hm maybe i should try to expand my circle and step outside of it a little, lets go look at the main community tags" and im just greeted with a bunch of edgelords who think saying "fiction doesn't affect reality, don't like don't read" is peak activism and "fighting censorship". head in my hands. this is partially why i do not ever go into the community tags, my nervous system cannot handle blocking fifty weirdos every single day just so i can have a normal experience in the community tags hfdsjkl
#I HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE BLOCKED ALREADY. i am TRYING to curate my experience 😭😭😭#and i have so many tags blacklisted fjdsjkl like. so many. every single variation of tag to do with those chuckleheads#which helps avoid them a lot of the time tbh bc it'll flag posts that ppl rb if the original post was tagged w any of those#so i can avoid rbing posts that have chuckleheads as the op most of the time#i also usually double check OP's blog before i rb stuff now bc man this place is rife with these weirdos#ANYWAYS. yes i want to try to engage w the community but i do not think i can handle it if theres gonna be so many edgelords jkdslfl#the only way i follow new ppl now is when yall do promo hour and i sometimes see a new face pop up fdsjkl#every now and then i have energy to try to engage with new ppl but its so difficult when so many ppl are such insufferable edgelords !!!!#''im the nasty pr-sh-pper your parents warned you about 😎'' cool man you sound like the most insufferably obnoxious person ever. :/#''if you like CENSORSHIP-'' i am hitting block immediately bc u have a fundamental misunderstanding of what censorship actually is 👍#I'M TIREDDDD WHY ARE PEOPLE SO DUMB ABOUT THIS STUFF. ''fiction doesn't affect reality'' I GUESS PROPAGANDA DOESNT EXIST THEN ????#what a strange world they live in honestly. they dont understand how stories have served humans since the dawn of time. sighing loudly.#vent //#SORRY FOR THIS ONE IM JUST. ARGH. ppl talk abt encouraging community but i think maybe im not cut out for community#i want desperately to partake but i cannot handle it if it means dealing w all these bozos#it frustrates me to no end fdhsjkl and it upsets me so much and i wish i could deal w it better but. my nervous system is broken fdsjkl#i will try to expand my circle every now and then but i cannot do it often bc of this 😭 im not going to give up entirely though fdsjkl#(also this is partially why i dont tag my posts w community tags anymore bc i am just. so scared of these freaks getting their hands on it)#(the most i'll do is s.afeship or variations every now n then bc supposedly they're not in those tags fdsjkl)#delete later#dandyshucks
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widevibratobitch · 15 days
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#havent really been active on tumblr the last few days but now i came back to post another vent and fuck off again lol hiiiiii#i havent cried in way too long. ngl sobbing hysterically in your bed does hit different lol#anyway. what a great time to remind myself of every single bad thing anyone has ever said about my body and my face <3#anyway i finished the sobbing till i cant breathe session and now my one eye hurts like there's sth stuck in it but there's nothing#but while i was digging in it trying to find sth under my eyelid that could explain the pain i really really looked at it#my friend once said my eyes are the colour of a swamp and by god she was right.#and like damn. i was never insecure about my eyes but maybe i should add that to the list.#but like whatever. like obv im not gonna start being actually insecure about mu stupid eyes but it did hit me that there is really#not a single thing about my body that i can with all confidence say is nice/pretty/whatever. not a single thing that i genuinely like.#like at best case it's 'not as bad as it could be'. like i have nothing lol. cant even honestly say something as silly as 'i like my eyes'#cause no. they look like a swamp.#idk im just so tired of trying my best all the time and still looking like a rotting leaking bag of garbage.#i try to remind myself that i dress funny and do fun make up and that is what people will notice about me but the truth is#everyone will still always see that under all that bs im just plain ugly and just generally unattractive#and ill never be able to distract anyone from that not really#like ik people who like me dont care about that but thats the thing.#im just tired of being one of the people that will always be liked/loved/whatever 'despite' sth.#like there is nothing of value in me that is NATURAL. its all fucking fake.#anyway. wish i were dead same old same old.
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constellationcrowned · 7 months
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((I want everyone to keep something in mind in regards to this blog and this is going to sound like a general, common sense post (and in a way it is) but it's also hi I'm in your house, whispering into your ear, telling you to call ga//amestop and ask them if they have bat//tleto//ads---, blah blah, basically it's personal too:
With me, regardless of blog or content, both communication and engagement go hand in hand. Communication and engagement needs to go both ways.
I love posting and reblogging memes and calls and will continue to do so but you folks---old mutual or new mutual doesn't matter---need to take the initiative yourself sometimes too. Be enthusiastic. Be spontaneous. Be proactive. I don't want to ask people to write with me all of the damn time nor do I want to chase after people all of the time because if I have to do that constantly over and over again it starts feeling incredibly one sided even when it isn't (because ofc people have lives, specific interests, anxiety, and whatever else which are all things that I deal with myself and I understand how that can stop someone from doing something, but that's how it feels especially over an extended period of time) and I don't need to explain how disheartening and draining that can be.
My seeming to interact with only one person---and for both of my blogs it's @magioffire and we all know that---it's not because we're being stuck up, elitist or whatever inane and incorrect term people want to throw at our feet it's because we engage and communicate. The give and take between us (both from an ic and ooc standpoint) never feels imbalanced or even transactional (I really hate using that word but, again I gotta stress this, that's how this makes me feel) and I have never felt like I needed to chase them down for an interaction or had to fight for a scrap of their time---which feels like a feat bc Blair has a lot of people scrambling at their door---and I cannot tell you how huge that is. That sounds like a huge sweeping thing to say, I know, but I mean it in all of the little ways too. I could post some stupid bullshit on here; not a starter or a meme just a little random muse thought or observation, and 100% of the time here comes Blair telling me what they think or adding on to it or just...whatever. They're here for both me and my muses for the big and small things, whenever I've asked and, more often than not, when I haven't (or couldn't) and that's incredibly important. It's that kind of stuff that makes what we have special and that's putting it super lightly. And yes, our relationship both as friends and as writers has developed over a long time, and we did click immediately that's true, but there's never been any doubt to cast upon the work and effort both of us have put forth.
And this post isn't to say that I'm demanding constant or immediate attention from you all---because, again, we all have lives, health issues, etc, etc, and all of that takes precedence over a hobby as I've said before and will say again and again---but....put some effort into it when you have the capability. Yes, like the calls that I post or send a meme in, absolutely, but also message me on your own and ask a question or shoot a muse a random prompt or just @ me in a post. Show me some enthusiasm and engagement on your end because right now it feels like I'm doing all the work all of the time and that's tiring. I'm tired of handing stuff to people all of the time---I'll keep doing it, obviously, because I need and want to engage on my end and love throwing stuff at people and providing opportunities---all I'm asking for is understanding and reciprocation.
If you can't reciprocate for whatever reason? Tell me.
If you're unsure about something, no matter what that something is? Tell me.
If you need help or even a specific kind of accommodation in order for us to start interacting or continue interacting? Tell me.
Don't just assume that I don't want to write with you or that you can't ask me for things. Don't assume that I'm being a snob or whatever else just because I seem to be paying attention to a certain mun full time because do you know what that actually is? That's friendship. That's effort. That's me giving back what I've been given. That's me reciprocating the enthusiasm, love and creativity that I've been handed, nothing more. There's nothing unobtainable or gatekeep-y about that either, you just need to be earnest and forthcoming with me and I can assure you that I'll return the favor in kind.))
#;;ooc: mun muttering#long post#this isn't a guilt trip of any sort (it doesn't even feel right calling it a vent tbh) I'm just being earnest in my point here#I'm tired of constantly pulling teeth (and this is an issue for both old and new mutuals rather than one over the other)#it just....doesn't feel good. there shouldn't be this much of a struggle for *any* of us#and are we all going to end up on the same level as what I have with Blair? No absolutely not and that's not what I'm asking for#the difference between them and you all is the lack of struggle and just...the earnestness to put it mildly#I'm honestly tired of people trying to give me shit for writing w/ them so much because??? why wouldn't I???#getting mad because I'm having a blast with someone who wants to write with me and actually does/tells me? that's nothing to be jealous of!#in fact you should strive for it yourself!! you could have it all too if you just crawled out of your own hole and thought for a second#I am incredibly fucking lucky and blessed to write with Blair; they've greatly influenced me both as a person and as a writer;#and every day I return that kindness and attention with more (hopefully) great content regardless of what or who we're writing#because they do the exact same thing for me every single day and that should be celebrated#stop wasting time trying to pit people against each other or feeling left out and actually step in yourself#I've said this before and I'll say it again: the main thing holding you back from interacting with me is you#so think about it and just...get over whatever is telling you that you can't and just do the fuckin thing. come have fun
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wingsandpetals · 6 months
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the boxcar children is such a funny series. it starts as a whimsical book about four orphans who live in an abandoned train car. then the author writes a whole bunch of sequels where they solve mysteries as kid dectectives until the last book, which ends with one final mystery with them grown up getting their first jobs. then like nothing happened about 500 other (worse but still somewhat enjoyable to young readers) books are tacked onto the series by various other writers. these are all set in the modern day and the characters never age unlike the original author's writing
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judyalvqrez · 1 year
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the way people are once again removing all the nuance and moral greyness and complexity out of the last of us, but especially joel miller’s character is kinda concerning lol
#i told myself i wasn't gonna get into the discourse but i was reading through some of the posts and comments in the tlou tag and... oof#like i get it i could write whole essays about my feelings on this story and its characters and the ending ect.#but a lot of people are already getting annoyingly defensive of every single one of joel’s actions#literally stripping him of all of the flaws and complexities and moral greyness that make him such a great character#why are yall turning him into a clean cut selfless hero that did everything right like that's so boring#what’s most frustrating is how people are completely ignoring ellie’s perspective in all of this#some even just pushing her entire character aside in favor of joel#only bringing her or her trauma up when they’re trying to justify something joel did#and treating her like an accessory to his character when you should be reflecting how his actions are gonna affect HER#i hate to break it to yall but if you bring this highly romanticized version of joel into the next season#yall are NOT gonna have a good time#it happened once and it will happen again and i know the inevitable backlash is gonna be twice as bad this time that’s why im concerned#anyway those are just my two cents that no one asked for if you see me posting any type of discourse again pls shoot me lol#and please don't think i'm a joel hater either those people are just as annoying they're just in the minority i think especially on tumblr#why can't we just enjoy joel for the morally grey complex and honestly fucked up and tragic man that he is#it's like joel defender this joel hater that let's just be joel enjoyers#or joel lovers that'd be me because i love him with all my heart 🥺#especially hbo joel like his characterization was so good he just hits different and honestly i prefer him over game joel#and i do enjoy the occasional ''joel is innocent/did nothing wrong' memes/jokes i think they're hilarious and ultimately harmless#(also the joel/abby memes but that's another story sjafhksaf)#this was more about the people writing almost whole ass dissertations or actively starting arguments in their fervent need to defend joel#okay im done lol#lucy rants#i tried to keep this little rant as spoiler free as possible because there's no way in hell im tagging this asjfknsa this was more for me#if you read this whole thing through the end: hi i hope your day was good and if it wasn't i hope it's great tomorrow :)
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david-watts · 1 year
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whilst putting the big books back on the shelf, I stumbled across a book of photographs from the collections of a particular photographer from where I live. ignoring the fact that the compilers didn’t know how to date photographs (like did they REALLY think a picture with a horse-drawn taxi and women in lingerie dresses were from the 1930s???) and I found a picture of one of the old k-class garratts on the north-east dundas tramway. love that
#the 'knows a little about historical fashion' in me knows that there were quite a few misdated pictures in it#and I think it's because they might've been developed at a later time or reprinted at a later time#because they had perfectly 1917 era fashion in a picture dated 1917.#but yeah like not until the popularisation of mobile phones and the internet did we here have the same fashion as on the mainland#yet alone the fashions coming out of the uk and america#so give about two or maybe even three years before things come and go out of style and maybe more for that since you didn't chuck#an old dress once it became unfashionable you'd usually alter it to be fashionable again#but like. for a regatta you'd want to wear your best. that's usually more up-to-date than say your not-leaving-the-house-today dress#and this picture was dated 1920s. meaning that it's likely later than 1920 on the dot which if it were I could see#but honestly every single lady in that picture was wearing a white dress and the ones you could see had a coloured belt#not that you could tell since. black and white.#and the hat styles said what#I looked it up to double-check and those hats matched mid-1900s perfectly AND SO DID THE MEN'S HATS#so I'd say... late 1900s? maybe even 1910 or 11? y'know. A DECADE EARLIER?#like come on you were paid to write this book#and dear fucking god the picture I mentioned in the post body. dates 1930s. it probably was taken around 1909 when that building was new#it couldn't be after 1911 for reasons that would be obvious if you know a little about where I live#and it's really only on these few photographs. and I know it was 1987 so they couldn't like. google the fashion era or anything#which tbh is the best bet at dating this stuff because looking up online stuff about where I live is. tricky#like c'mon I wanna look up creepy little-known stuff about where I live. I don't wanna rely on a seemingly abandoned wordpress page
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ghoul-haunted · 2 years
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I want to thank Gaius Cassius Longinus for dying on his birthday. it saves me the trouble of remembering a birth date and a death date, because quite frankly, I suck at remembering dates.
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confier-boyfriend · 5 months
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Not to be “woe is me” but why do I always get the terrible gifts for every single occasion. Like great I get an ugly necklace I’ll never wear and a bouncy ball while they got candles and nice items. Makes me feel wonderful.
#sarcasm on the last two btw#*last two sentences in the post#zenith thinks#‘it’s the thought that matters’ my brother in Christ if they were thinking they wouldn’t have given me a necklace#‘you can’t be jealous or resentful over that though’ resent and jealousy are inevitable and emotions tons of people have#they will appear and happen no matter what. and if you deny them then they just come out in other ways#like I think I’m allowed to be resentful and jealous and shameful about the fact I was the only person in a huge group to not get a medal#or that this same motherfucker gets picked for art awards everytime like clockwork#like it’s them every single time and it drives me mad#if I could get one vote that’d be nice. but honestly I don’t care. anyone but them for one fucking time would be nice#idk but I’m allowed to be upset over the fact I get entered into competitions and never get anything but considered#‘considered for a scholarship’ yeah that considered is doing a ton of heavy lifting#it doesn’t make someone evil just because they experience jealousy or resentment#it’s how they handle those emotions and treat others that matters#also fuck that bitch that always fucking wins every single time#let someone else win. there’s tons of other amazing artists in our group that deserve recognition#they might not be getting letters from art collages. but their art deserves recognition too#I guess atleast the professional artist likes my paintings I geuss#would be nice if anyone who didn’t do realism one for once#but no everyone’s taste on art is ‘realism only good art form because republican value’
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