#hope nobody missed me. dont think anyone did
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In Principal Weems office
Weems: I understand that you and Miss Addams are in… a situationship?
Enid: Oh no no we’re together!
Weems: I see….. and how long have you two been…
Enid: In a relationship? Almost a year now!
Weems: And exactly how is it being with Wednesday Addams? Not many students here even like her.
Enid: Oh my god, Miss Weems… I have never been more in love with anyone in my life. No one makes me happier than her. She just gets me. She puts up with me. She’s patient with me. She’s everything to me and honestly I don’t deserve her.
Weems: Okay, Miss Sinclair-
Enid: She’s so protective, so considerate, and so- so…. loving. Miss Weems, everytime I’m with her I feel like it’s a dream I hope to never wake up from. I think…. I think I’m in love with her, Miss Weems.
Weems: Now hang on, Miss Sinclair-
Enid: *starts tearing up* And she’s in love with me! I can’t even imagine not being with her. I wake up next to her every morning and she already makes my day. I’m sorry if I’m sounding crazy but I’m really in love with her. I’m really in love with Wednesday Addams.
Weems: Enid-
Enid: And I want to marry her. God I already have it planned out on how to propose. But I can’t do it yet because we’re going to her home this weekend and I want to talk to her parents who’s really the sweetest couple of-
Weems: ENID!
Weems shouts shutting up Enid. There’s a brief moment of silence. Weems realized she raised her voice without meaning to. But just the mention of The Addams…. especially the parents…. She did not like that. She gets up from her desk to sit in front of Enid.
Enid: *shaking* Miss Weems?
Weems: I apologize Enid, I shouldn’t have yelled. It’s not you, it’s me. I do apologize. It’s just that…. I asked you here because I wanted you to be cautious around her. After all, she is an Addams.
Enid: But we’ve been together for a year. I trust her with my life. Why would you-
Weems: Because, Dear, I don’t want to see your heart broken.
Enid: I’m sorry?
Weems: I just don’t want to see your sweet little heart broken into tiny pieces. You are the most beautiful and brightest girl I’ve ever know and I would hate to see Wednesday crush you. I would hate to see Wednesday drop you the minute things get complicated and get with some…. other person.
Enid: Uhm, principal Weems I don’t know where you’re going-
Weems: Enid just be cautious around her. Do not give your heart to someone who could break it. And maybe leave you with some other guy who she’ll end up marrying and forget that you two were even together. You won’t know how to feel and don’t know if it’s because of you or her. Please, Enid.
Enid: That’s not going to happen Miss Weems because-
Weems: JUST BE CAUTIOUS, SINCLAIR! I DONT WANT MORTICIA TO HURT YOU LIKE SHE HURT ME!
Enid: *visibly scared and confused*
Enid: Morticia? Wednesday’s mom?
Weems realizes she has said too much. Maybe she’s gone too far. She’s raised her voice too many times now. Now she’s embarrassed and feels the hole in her heart where that other Addams punched growing bigger again.
Weems: That’s enough. You can go now, Miss Sinclair. I apologize for keeping you here.
Enid collects her things and speed walks to the door. Before she walks out and closes it she stops to turn to the broken, tall woman.
Enid: I’m sorry about what she did. You don’t deserve that. Nobody does. But Wednesday isn’t like that.
Enid leaves.
#larissa weems#morticia addams#the addams family#larissa x morticia#wenclair#Wednesday Addams#Enid Sinclair#wenid#Wednesday#enid x wednesday
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Can I request something like where Ethan is ghostface obviously and the reader is Dewey Riley's adoptive kid and she kinda blames Gale for what happened to her father and that encourages Ethan to put gale up on the list and forward to the reveal where detective bailey wants to shoot the reader and then she admits to being pregnant and that makes Ethan change since he knows he's the father and is spared from death because Sam and Tara saw he was doing what he did just to get his father's approval and they lie to the core 4 saying Ethan wasn't one of the killers because he promised to be better for the sake of his child?
a/n | i am so sorry this took so long 😭 i kinda glossed over the gale part, definitely not my best work
warnings | murder, angst? fluff ending, kind of rushed? not proofread
Sam puts a protective arm in front of you while Bailey and the two ghost faces stare you all down. You spaced out as you felt like you could barely breathe, you didn't want to die. You blocked out whatever Bailey was talking about, whatever long monologue he was giving. When one of the ghostface’s lifts their hands and takes off their mask, you are greeted with a very familiar face. You feel like your heart has dropped further into your stomach, Sam gives you an apologetic look as you fall from your crouched position to the floor.
“Ethan?”
His grin falls once his eyes land on you. Your eyes drop to the floor not even being about to look at him. You feel sick. Ethan has been your boyfriend for a couple months now, you loved him so much and he seemed to love you too but right now you can't seem to think that. You haven't managed to get over your grief until you met him. The loss of your father was a big hit to you. You could barely eat, get out of bed, you barely even finished the school year. You hoped when you moved to new york you could have a fresh-ish start but you couldn't. At Least not until you met ethan. Ethan changed everything for you. He was like a breath of fresh air, he was so comforting, so kind. He was always patience, on the days you didnt want to go out he would sit with you and listen as you droned on and on about your problems. I guess now his weird look whenever you would complain about gale made sense. He wanted to kill her.
In your daze you must miss the commotion because suddenly when you feel hands grip you and drag you up you look around and notice quinn was.. Alive? And a ghostface? What was happening? You thrash around in Baileys arms while sam and tara give you a look of horror. You suddenly feel a cold metal end touch the side of your head. He was holding a gun to your head.
“Nobody move!”
You cant breathe. You didnt want to die.You stop moving and he takes another step back. You finally lock eyes with the one guy you didnt want to. He has an angry look on his face, it must be at you. You can barely believe this is happening.
“I want you to all give her one final look before i kill her!”
“Dont!” Sam begins to take a step forward before bailey presses the head deeper into the side of your head, “Don't move!”
“Please dont kill me…” The tears are running down your face as you shut your eyes.
You open your eyes and look at ethan who had a conflicted look, “Please ethan…”
“Your silly boyfriend cant save you now.”
You dont even listen to quinns voice as you continue to plead with ethan.
“Im pregnant.”
“What?” “Like hell you are?” “Huh?” “I'm supposed to believe that right?”
You dont care what anyone else has to say as you continue to talk to ethan, “I found at a couple days ago. I was gonna tell you later tonight when you came over for our date i promise,”
“Liar!” quinn hisses at you.
“Im not lying!” You yell out as Ethan stands unmoved, his grip on his knife tight, His gaze remaining locked onto yours. “Ethan please.”
Bailey takes another step back and grips you tighter causing you to hiss out in pain, “Ive let you have your talk now shut up.”
“Let her go.”
Ethan glares at his father who rolls his eyes.
“Dont tell me you believe her.”
“Ethan im telling the truth i swear. Believe me please.”
“Let her go.”
Quinn lets out a frustrated sound as ethan takes a step forward, “oh come on ethan dont act like a pussy for this slut, like you would even be the father-”
In a flash ethan is is suddenly behind quinn and grips her sliding his knife along her throat in, bailey in his shock loosens his grip enough where you can slide out of his grip and you rush over to sam who grips onto you.
“you alright?”
you nod and let out a sigh of relief, “yeah yeah”
Ethan and bailey have a stare down, “What have you done! all our work, all our time-”
“All your time! All your work! I never wanted any fo this! All you knew was oh richie this and oh richie that and im sick of it! I didn't even like richie! Nobody did! nobody other than you and your daughter.”
“who was your sister, who you just killed!”
“I wish i did it sooner.”
Tara gives you an odd look, “do you think they realize were still here?” You shrug.
“Youre no son of mine.”
“I never was! but she,” His blood covered knife points in your general direction, “is my life. and i wont let you take her away from me.”
You let out a barely vocal gasp as you stare at ethan in a daze.
Sam puts a hand on your shoulder, “go with tara and find somewhere to hide. something tells me its about to get bad.”
despite the fact you dont want to leave ethan tara is already grabbing your arm and dragged you away. You look back and notice a fight breakong out and gunshots ring. You close your eyes and pray to whoever is listening ethan isn't getting hurt.
You find a safe place farther away with tara and you two crouch together.
“You alright?”
you nod and put your head in your hands, “im alright… I think. You?”
She looks conflicted, “chad…”
“im so sorry tara.”
You place a hand on hers and squeeze it, she gives you a tight lipped smile.
“I should be the one saying sorry to you i mean, youre the pregnant one. If that was real.”
You nod, “it is, i found out a couple days ago. i felt really sick and went to the doctors.”
“How far along you are?”
“12 weeks, found out a little later than most do.”
“holy shit thats fucking crazy.”
Another gun shot rings and you close your eyes.
“God i hope hes okay.”
Tara doesn't reply. just leaning her head back to lay against the wall.
You dont know how much longer passes but it feels like years when the door slams open and a ghostface walks in.
you and tara huddle together and tara grabs a brick that had been on the ground, “stay back you bitch.”
The mask gets ripped off and ethan drops the mask to the ground. His face is covered in sweat and you can see specks of blood everywhere but his remain locked on your figure.
“Ethan.”
He rushes over and drops to his knees, his hands ans eyes frantically checking over you, “are you alright? are you hurt? do you need something a bandage-” you put your hand on his face and smile, “ethan im okay.”
“Was it real? are you really?”
His head drops to your neck as he hugs you, “im sorry im so sorry forgive me.”
Tara noticing sam in the doorway stands and makes her way over to her. Deciding not to comment on her ghostface outfit. “He dead?”
Sam gives a comfirming nod.
“Kirby checked over chad, said if the paramedics arrive soon enough he can be saved.”
Sam smiled as taras eyes light, “really?”
Sam nods, taras face drops as she turns back to look at ethan who was still fusing over you.
“What are we gonna do about him?”
Sam looks at the two of you and thinks it over. The rational part of her (or maybe its just billy) tells her to kill him, its the sure way to keep everyone safe.
but she can't. not when she watches how hard her fought for you. She watches as he cries and holds you while you smile at him. “He can stay. We'll come up with something to tell everyone. I think it'll be just fine.”
#ethan landry#ethan landry x reader#jack champion#jack champion x reader#scream six#scream#scream vi
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“hiiii i loved your last piece and damn your writting is SO GOOD <3 so i ask you pretty please if you could right about an aged up!lo'ak w aged up!reader where they're in a romantic relationship and finally mate after a couple of months of waiting. THANKS IN ADVANCE LUV YA”
hiiii! so, as you asked me to, this is me fowarding the request! 🫶🏻 i imagine this being with a female reader, something like childhood friends to lovers – the girl would be a na’vi and they grew up together or smt. i also see the reader being a little scared of mating with lo’ak – thinking things like i love this man but he’s so reckless i dont wanna loose him – and shit. i trust you a 100% with this because I KNOW you're gonna make me giggle scream in my pillows and punch the air even if i read your grocery store list.
lmk if you need anything more! lots of love & kisses. 💘💘💕💞💘💖💗💓💗
Chosen | Lo'ak x fem!Omaticaya!reader (Smut)
A.N: Hello there! Sorry this took me so long, but I'm in the middle of exam season and also my birthday was last week and yea lots of stuffs going on. I hope my interpretation of your request will be everything you dreamed of, tbh I went a lil extra, but this story has literally been plaguing me for days and I loved writing it so much!
Summary: fem!Omaticaya!reader x Lo'ak, both reader and Lo'ak are 18/19 in this, usually I write 20+ characters but I was trying to keep the story as close as possible to Na'vi 'marriage traditions, according to them 15 is the age of maturity and I believe parents arrange marriages around that time, but if anyone is uncomfortable with this then please feel free to imagine the characters are older.
T.W.: NSFW, this is pr0n with feelings, but it is detailed. As always, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS WORK OR ANY OF MY ACCOUNTS, thank you. Awkward first-time shenanigans, angst, fluff, and yeah if I missed anything please let me know.
T.W. 2: This turned into a whole ass fic so forewarning for mentions of blood, neglectful parenting, and a near-death experience for a main character.
Word count: 6.355
Mini dictionary for this fic:
Olo'eyktan = clan leader
Kaltxì! = hello
Oeru syaw... = My name is...
Ngaru tut? = And you are?
Sempul= father
Sa'nok= mother
Oe tìwayn...= I love...
Tsahik= spiritual leader
Yawne = beloved
Oeya- = My-
Oel ngati kameie = I see you
Nga yawne lu oer = I love you (You are beloved to me)
Kehe= no
If you have any Lo'ak requests, please send them my way!
Lo'ak had never been chosen for anything in his life.
For as long as he'd remembered, his parents had either been taking every spare moment they had to teach Neteyam the right path in life, so that he would one day be an Olo'eyktan fit enough to succeed his father or alternatively, dote on his sisters. It was at an embarrassingly young age when he discovered that he could have wandered off from the safety of his family and nobody would have taken much notice until the eclipse would come, and it was time to turn in.
Even on those occasions, Lo'ak would try to prove his worth by showing his father a creature he had caught or a place he had 'discovered', but his parents didn't really do much other than reprimand him for his reckless behavior.
"You know you were supposed to help me look after your baby sister today, why is it so hard for you to understand basic instructions?" His father would huff, dragging him back home while carrying Tuk on his shoulders. Lo'ak looked at her. She was a tiny infant, where could she have possibly gone by herself? And why did he have to stick around to look after her, while Neteyam and Kiri were out hunting with their mother?
Eventually, his disappearances stopped raising alarms, as his family had accepted Lo'ak would always find his way back or his brother would be the one to recuperate him. On these occasions, Lo'ak had tried to fit in with the rest of the clan but had quickly discovered his presence wasn't all that welcome among his peers. While they felt the need to respect him because he was the Olo'eyktan's son and Neteyam's brother, his quirks, specifically his hands and his speech pattern were too... different. Too human. A lot of Omaticayans his age had been orphaned as a consequence of the war against the sky people, and Lo'ak was just another reminder of what their presence had left behind. Not to mention he was also friends with Spider, an actual sky person, even though he was born on Pandora and knew nothing of Earth.
On a day like any other, Lo'ak and Spider were playing hide and seek just the two of them, a game Jake had taught them and was too 'human' sounding for the rest of their peers to want to join in, and Lo'ak had found the perfect hiding spot on a tree Spider was never going to be able to climb when a voice startled him so much, he almost fell out of the branch he'd been resting on.
"Kaltxì!" The little Na'vi girl his age greeted him enthusiastically while hanging upside down from the tree branch directly above him. Lo'ak stared at her and felt like prey in the split second it was about to be hit by an arrow. He had never seen such beautiful eyes. And he had never talked to a girl before, other than his sisters. "Oeru syaw y/n." She continued. "Ngaru tut?"
"L-Lo'ak." He managed to say, instinctively hiding his hands behind his back. She looked at him curiously, almost as if to ponder his silence. Then y/n seemed to have a sudden realization. "Now I know!" She exclaimed again loudly, along with switching her language register, but Lo'ak couldn't care less about losing his game of hide and seek with Spider anymore. "You are the Spider's friend. You speak the English. You see? I speak the English too. You can talk to me." Y/n announced rather diplomatically, not knowing that Lo'ak was perfectly capable of speaking Na'vi as well. "Friends?" She reached out her hand, her eyes brimming with hope.
Lo'ak nodded and smiled back at her, still at a loss for words, until he finally said: "Yes, friends." But he didn't dare to shake her hand. Y/n dropped down from the branch she'd been hanging from gracefully, her tail twitching as she inquired: "You are hurt?", trying to get a better look at his hands.
"No!" Lo'ak blurted out, and in doing so he inadvertently put his hands forward to keep y/n at a distance, while he was backed up against the tree trunk, with nowhere else to go except fall to his death. Y/n's comically large eyes took in the sight of his hands, examining them for signs of trauma. But there were none. Lo'ak braced himself for the inevitable rejection. "Big baby." She chided. "Nothing wrong with your hands, see?" Lo'ak let y/n hold his hands up to his face, and Spider found them like that the very next second.
"Ha-ha!" He panted, out of breath from climbing all the way up to where the two Na'vi hadn't been so quiet. "I. Win."
"Win?" Y/n asked, dropping Lo'ak's hands. "Is it a game? Can I play? Oh, and-and my friends as well. You will meet them now. Come."
Lo'ak realized then, that was what it must have felt like to be chosen by someone.
From that day onward, Lo'ak and y/n had been inseparable. He was the first person she'd pick to play on her team once he and Spider had been accepted by her friends, he was the first and sometimes only person she'd tell her 'secrets' to, and as they grew older they would only go out hunting if the other was with them. Ceremonies, dinners, you name it, Lo'ak and y/n were sitting next to each other, trying their best to keep their giggles and whispers at a low volume, something y/n really couldn't help, especially when Neteyam would turn around to reprimand his younger brother.
Y/n got gradually closer with his family as well over the years, being of big help with babysitting Tuk and escorting Kiri to Hellsgate with the rest of her siblings whenever she wanted to visit her mom. Her English had gotten progressively better, and she was as fluent of a speaker as the rest of the Sullys, regretfully owing a lot of her vocab to the two brothers. On a particular outing to the lab, Lo'ak had been in the middle of teasing Kiri about her conception, and y/n was quick to respond to him, intent on defending her friend.
"-their avatars, all alone in the forest-" Lo'ak goaded Kiri, and y/n cut him off before her best friend could insinuate anything else. "As if you would know anything about that, virgin!" His siblings laughed at this.
"Who are you calling virgin, virgin?" He'd snap back, and their argument would usually end up in a scuffle, which he was always the first one to pull away from.
Lo'ak hadn't realized how easy he had it back then, before... Well, before none of them no longer had time to be kids. The sky people came back around the time of Neteyam's 20th birthday, and yet somehow, that hadn't been the most devastating event Lo'ak was about to experience in the days to come.
"Lo'ak listen to me, and for Eywa's sake, don't run off until I'm done talking." Neteyam rested a hand on his shoulder, he had never seen such a pained expression on his brother's face before. "Sempul has been talking to me about responsibility and family, and-"
Lo'ak tsked, shaking his head. "Big surprise there, bro."
"Lo'ak..." Neteyam said sternly, and Lo'ak wondered when exactly had his brother become so much like their father. "I saw him and sa'nok talking to y/n's parents the other day. Saying stuff like she is the only one other than Kiri who truly understands Eywa's will. They've seen her healing abilities, she's been helping out with the war effort under Mo'at instructions. They want her to be the next tshaik, after mother."
Lo'ak couldn't stop the ugly frown that took over his features, and neither could he prevent himself from shoving his brother off him in disdain. "What are you saying?" He asked angrily, even though he already knew the answer to his question.
"You know what I'm saying, bro-"
"You're not my brother!" Lo'ak snarled, and for once in his life actually felt intimidating as he did so. Neteyam looked even more distraught than he had been a few seconds ago, but his agony was nowhere as close as the hell wreaking havoc inside Lo'ak. Y/n was the one thing Lo'ak had in this world that was truly his, and now he was going to have to stand aside while she married his brother. "I love her, I need her." He screamed, the pain in his chest was unlike anything he'd ever felt. "You don't-"
"Exactly, I don't." Neteyam said, trying to recover his younger brother from his anguish. "And I will say no to this union, but you know this decision is out of my hands-"
"Of course, you'll do anything as long as it doesn't interfere with you being the perfect son!" Lo'ak spat with tears in his eyes and Neteyam was quick to raise his voice, something that he almost never did. "Do not say that, Lo'ak. You know that is not true-"
But Lo'ak was done talking. And he had a feeling he didn't want to stick around for the evening ceremony either.
Y/n had remained deadly silent as her parents had given her the news. Tsahik, marriage, Neteyam. At one point it all started to become white noise in her head. All she could think about was Lo'ak. The day they'd both ridden their ikrans for the first time, and had stayed out well passed the eclipse. The hunting excursions, when it was just the two of them. Listening to human music on a device they'd stolen from the lab one time.
"Oe tìwayn Lo'ak." She'd never said it out loud to anyone, but it was true. She loved Lo'ak, and her parents simply couldn't understand. The younger Sully boy was nothing but a troublemaker, a complete mance to the clan and anyone else around him. They were never going to give their beautiful, talented daughter away to a five-fingered freak of nature, no matter how much she begged and pleaded with them.
Y/n felt like she was having an out-of-body experience, not even recollecting how she'd found herself sitting amongst the rest of the clan, as they all faced the tree of souls and the Olo'eyktan began to speak. She couldn't see Lo'ak anywhere. Y/n found it harder and harder to breathe. He was still her best friend, and she needed to tell him what was about to happen before his father announced it to everyone they knew. Lo'ak would have thought she'd have kept it secret from him, and y/n could never break his trust.
"It is with great pride and joy that today we-" The clan leader, Jake Sully, had stopped talking in the middle of his speech and was now looking directly at her. In fact, everybody was. Y/n only then realized she'd stood up while everyone else was still sitting down. Neytiri walked up to her, wiping the tears from her face. Y/n hadn't even realized she'd been crying. "Child, you do not look well." She spoke warmly as if she were speaking to one of her own daughters.
Y/n's tail was twitching violently, still looking around for Lo'ak as she took in a shaky breath. "It is Lo'ak." She managed to say. "He is not here." Y/n whined and her parents decided to step in. "Sit down, daughter. You are disrespecting the clan leader. End this foolishness at once!" But Neytiri was quick to be concerned, asking Neteyam for answers about his brother's whereabouts. "He could not be here. And I do not blame him."
Jake finally decided to have his say. The only fool around had been him, if he'd only now realized the love Lo'ak and y/n had for each other, if the look in her eyes and Lo'ak's disappearance from her side had been anything to go by. "Every single one of our people is allowed to speak their mind. Y/n has not disrespected me, or anyone else." Jake reassured her parents. Y/n saw no other way out for herself, and she knew she was either going to have to say the truth now or forever be silent. "Forgive me, Olo'eyktan. Forgive me, Neytiri. I know I am promised to your eldest son, and I know you wish for me to be tsahik one day. These are the two greatest honors I could ever ask from Eywa herself, and I am grateful. Nothing should be more important to me than looking after the clan, especially now, in a time of war... but my heart, it belongs to your youngest son. It belongs to Lo'ak. It always has. And because I know I would be doing the clan a disservice, that I would be undermining your authority and Mo'at's, I am prepared to be exiled from the clan or pay whatever other punishment in light of my failure."
A loud ruckus erupted as soon as y/n had finished her speech, her parents, in particular, trying to undermine everything she'd just said, while everybody else began to give their opinion on the matter. "Where is he? Your demon son? Can he not even vouch for the woman he has clearly seduced?"
Neteyam could still hear the clan squabbling from where he eventually found his brother. His usual hiding place. "When you are done sulking" He said, announcing his presence before grabbing Lo'ak by the scruff of his neck. "Maybe you could come back and stand by y/n side. She is talking of leaving the clan-" Neteyam's eyes widened as he saw the deep claw marks that ran from Lo'ak's chest all the way down to his left side. Lo'ak was clutching his abdomen, his hands covered in blood.
"Lo'ak, look at me... bro!" Neteyam's voice cracked. "I'm taking you home now, understand? You're going to be fine..."
"I thought... If I could be... a mighty warrior... like you..." Lo'ak murmured, a faint smile on his face. "Maybe... "
But he didn't get to finish that sentence, because a blood-curdling scream had just pierced through both of their ears. Y/n had known about every single one of Lo'ak hiding places too, and it hadn't taken her long to find him. It was almost as if she'd already known, deep within her bones, that he had gone and hurt himself, yet nothing could have prepared her for seeing him like this. "Yawne, what have you done? what have you done?" She wailed and kissed his face, trying to put pressure on his wounds. Neteyam had to separate them, his priority was to take Lo'ak back to Mo'at in time, even though he was just as devastated as y/n.
Y/n didn't leave Lo'ak's side for a single second over the following days. She carried him home with Neteyam. She helped Mo'at and Neytiri heal him. She stayed by his bed until he finally regained consciousness. "Oeya-Lo'ak, you are awake!" Y/n embraced him, mindful of his recovering wounds. Lo'ak pulled away from y/n enough to look into her eyes. "You see me. Only you see me." He said, touching her face gently as she nodded, pressing her forehead against his. "Oel ngati kameie." Y/n whispered, and Lo'ak could have cried when he heard those words leave her lips. "Nga yawne lu oer, y/n. I see you."
Lo'ak came to know of her and Neteyam's refusal to be together, of the rift it had cut between y/n and her parents. How she'd stood up in front of them and the entire clan to declare that she loved him and she would sooner be exiled than belong to anyone else other than him. Amongst the Omaticaya there were some who were certain Lo'ak had taken advantage of y/n, so that he could trap her in being with him, knowing full well Lo'ak would have never lived up to his brother's perfect image. All of this enraged him. He could no longer withstand being on bedrest while wild accusations were being made on y/n. On his mate.
She hissed at him while he tried to get up, and his siblings were having none of it either, when his parents finally turned up to see him. Lo'ak took in their expressions. He had never seen them so worn out with worry. Both Neytiri and Jake embraced their youngest son, dutifully checking on him. After making sure he had eaten, and with Mo'at's permission, his parents asked for everyone except y/n to leave.
By the time his parents had also left, Lo'ak and y/n were promised to each other.
Lo'ak was on strict orders to recuperate from his run-in with a thanator over the coming weeks and was forced to get updates about the ongoing war from Kiri and Tuk. Neteyam and y/n would visit every day, but now that y/n had stepped down as future Tsahik, she was determined to make herself useful by replacing her mate in the war effort until he got better. Neteyam had sworn to Lo'ak that he would have kept y/n safe, but it didn't stop Lo'ak from trying to escape his grandmother's watchful eye so he too could be out on the battlefield with his yawne. Where he belonged.
"Oeya-Lo'ak, you are still recovering." Y/n would complain to him almost every night when she came back to be by his side. Truthfully, she was scared. The second the excuses for making him stay behind ran out, Lo'ak could have gone back to playing a reckless game with his own life. And now, her own life was tied to his. She had gotten hurt fighting the sky people, yes, but nothing could have ever come close to the visceral pain that had ripped through her the day she thought she had lost him forever. Sometimes it made her even too scared to get closer to him, of sharing everything of herself and then suddenly being left behind without ever being able to cope with that loss.
Y/n was on the verge of losing her mind, she was certain because the instinctive need to protect her own heart was more often than not overcome by a different type of need. Y/n had felt low echoes of it when she and Lo'ak had been growing up, whenever he'd wrap his tail around her leg or he'd be standing right behind her, his arms circling hers as he taught her how to shoot an arrow. Now that need was stronger than ever, and she knew what name to give it. Tìnew. Desire.
And she didn't know what to do with it. In fact, she felt ashamed. Lo'ak was still hurt, and all she could think about while she was in the middle of checking on his progress, was wondering what it would be like to run her hands across his body in a different type of way. Her other friends had all already mated, she knew. Y/n wondered sometimes if Lo'ak did not find her beautiful, if he regretted choosing her, but could no longer back out of his decision. He did not seem to want her, in fact, over the following weeks, he seemed to struggle greatly with the feeling of her touch. Something which had never happened before.
Little did she know that Lo'ak was struggling just as much as she was. Y/n's touch burned in such a delicious manner, Lo'ak could not have described it in his own words if he tried. All he knew was it left him starved and aching for more whenever she would eventually have to leave. But he could not initiate anything real while he was still in that state. He could see the sorrow in her eyes every time she'd look at his wounds, and he knew his recklessness had scarred her. And in turn, it had changed him. Eywa as his witness, he no longer wanted to hear y/n scream so viscerally as she had done the night he'd almost died. He needed to be a better person. If not for his sake, then for her own. Y/n was his responsibility now.
Soon he was back on his feet again, and ready to face the rest of the clan. Y/n would now sit amongst his family and Lo'ak was always glued to her side, ready to hiss or growl at anyone who so much as looked at his mate the wrong way. Y/n loved sitting between his legs with his chest to her back, wanting nothing more than to show off her mate to the rest of the clan. She noted that since his recovery, Lo'ak had been less inclined to chat or make jokes like he usually did when they both had to sit through another one of Jake's boring speeches before dinner. It made her sad, since Lo'ak's jokester side was one of the things she loved most about him, but she understood he was going through a lot.
It was on one of these occasions y/n decided to soothe her mate by reaching for his braid, bringing it to rest over her shoulder so she could play with it absentmindedly. Lo'ak realised only after a few minutes that her ministrations were making him purr. Him. Purr. In public. His hands dug into her hips and he hid his face in her neck, trying to keep quiet. "Yawne, you need to stop that... please..." Lo'ak whispered so only she could hear, her hands dangerously close to his queue. Y/n frowned and turned back to look at him. "Did I hurt you?" She asked in concern, reaching out to touch his face. Lo'ak felt his cheeks flare up with heat. He wanted to give her some cocky response, but in truth, he was scared. "No, no. You could never hurt me, y/n... it's more... the opposite." How could anyone want to be with him in that way? To physically bind themselves to him for the rest of their life? Hadn't he taken enough from y/n already?
"The opposite?" She asked, ears bent downwards and still not understanding. "If it makes you feel good, then why would I stop? I like hearing you purr..." Lo'ak tried once again to hide his blush by looking away but to no avail. Y/n's tail wrapped around his own then, preventing him from furiously whacking it against the ground every few seconds, like he always did when he was nervous. "It's just... I—"
All it took was for y/n to look him dead in the eye for her to understand. Eventually she would always see through him. "You wish to mate with me."
A nervous cough overcame Lo'ak as soon as y/n had said those words, making quite a few of their clan members turn towards him and shake their heads in disappointment. Y/n immediately grabbed some water for him to drink.
"Y-yes." He finally managed to say, not sure if he was ever going to recover from such an embarrassing display.
"But... I was certain... you did not desire me. That maybe, you loved me but did not find me beautiful..." Y/n confessed and Lo'ak realized what an absolute skxawng he'd been. The entire time he'd spent feeling sorry for himself and trying to be a better 'version' of himself for y/n, to stop getting in harm's way and taking every aspect of his life more seriously, he'd ended up neglecting his mate. The two of them had probably been the only couple to have waited so long, and he couldn't imagine what kind of reasons y/n had to come up with to explain his 'disinterest'. Clearly, he'd made her feel less than worthy, and it devastated him.
Lo'ak placed one of his hands over y/n's jaw, tilting her face upwards to look at him. "I never, ever want to hear you say that, yawne." He pulled her lower back snugly towards him until she could feel how hard he was for her, making her let out a shaky breath as she turned away from Lo'ak but pressed back against him even more. "Can't you feel how badly I want you? How badly I've always wanted you?" Y/n nodded, trying to look stoically in front of her as if nothing was going on. As if Lo'ak's words weren't making her heart feel like it was going to burst at any minute. As if it would make things any better, y/n reached for one of Lo'ak's hands and held it close to her breastplate, trying to slow her heartbeat down. "Your little heart is beating so fast..." Lo'ak spoke against her braids. "So is yours!" Y/n snapped at him in a low voice, making Lo'ak chuckle. She could feel the beat of his heart against her back.
She wondered if the rest of the clan members could tell what was going on. Y/n didn't want to disrespect Lo'ak's family a second time. But nobody seemed to be taking any notice of them, except the handful of jealous fuckers who eyed y/n whenever they thought he wasn't looking. Lo'ak wondered if they could tell she was shaking in his arms just because of his words. "You don't see the way they look at you? How much they hate me because you're mine?" He asked, placing a hand dangerously close to her inner thigh.
"I don't care about the others. I never have." Y/n sighed leaning back against him.
It was a long wait for everyone else to go to sleep and leave the Tree of Souls empty that night. Sure, they could have gone some place else, considering how worked up the two of them had gotten, but Lo'ak wanted to do things the right way. This was the one thing in his life that he was not going to half-ass or screw up.
Y/n had put him first since the day she'd met him and Lo'ak was going to spend the rest of the night, no, the rest of his life, showing her just how she made him feel every single day.
"You are worrying again..." Y/n noticed, pulling him down to sit next to her. Lo'ak had been overfixating on finding the perfect spot for them to lay down. "I am worried too..." She confessed touching his face. Lo'ak frowned, wrapping his arms around her waist. "We do not need to do this... if you've changed your mind..."
"Kehe! Of course not..." Y/n climbed on top of him, laying across his chest as she kissed him. "I am afraid of losing you... always." Lo'ak really didn't know what to say to those words, because he knew in his heart she was right and he could not argue. He felt exactly the same way about her, but he'd given y/n plenty of reason not to trust he'd stay out of harm's way. "What if... what if I am to carry your child and you don't come back to me? What then?"
The notion of getting y/n pregnant made Lo'ak revert to blushing and scrambling his words, and she blushed as well, realizing she had been somewhat blunt. Lo'ak hardly ever saw her blush and it truly was a sight to behold. "I promise. Eywa as my witness, I will always come back to you, yawne. Always. " As he said those words, Lo'ak didn't even feel like he was himself anymore, but he was certain he meant them.
Y/n brought both of her hands to his face and kissed him again, deeply this time. It was languid and desperate, almost as if she'd been waiting for that promise for a very long time. Lo'ak groaned as she run her tongue over his fangs, pulling away to graze his teeth over her neck and making her gasp. He sat up to get some leverage and asked his mate permission before sinking his teeth into her skin, marking her permanently.
"Lo'ak!" Y/n cried, digging her nails into his back as he lapped up the blood running down her neck. She gave him a sharp bite too, just over his shoulder, in retaliation, making him chuckle. "I'm sorry yawne, let me make it up to you..."
"You better, skxawng!" She huffed, shoving his chest playfully, even if the act of being marked had made the pressure between her legs so unbearable it was beginning to hurt. Lo'ak laughed again and y/n hissed at him meakly, ears drawn back. Why did his laugh also have to... have an effect on her?
"So I'm a skxawng, now?" Lo'ak asked in amusement as he kissed his way down her neck, deciding to get rid of her piece of clothing with his mouth also. It didn't take Y/n long to notice, Lo'ak's hands were no longer on her body, in fact he was leaning against them, only reaching out to touch her if he needed to hold her in place for a few seconds. He was still insecure about them, after all those years, and it would have broken her heart if Lo'ak hadn't been in the middle of making her feel so good. "I thought I was your yawne—"
Y/n got rid of her top piece herself and brought Lo'ak's hands to her breasts. His confidence seemed to leave him then. "You are my yawne. But you are also a skxawng... " She sighed softly through her nose. "I want you to use your hands on me, Lo'ak." Y/n told him, searching for his eyes as one of her hands guided his own over her breast.
"Y-yes. I know... it's just..."
Lo'ak's mind completely blanked the second y/n brought his other hand to her mouth, kissing every single one of his fingers before wrapping her lips around his index and middle finger, sucking around them. She took them as deep in her mouth as she could before pulling away again, enjoying the sight of her flustered mate. "Your hands are beautiful. And they're mine." She whispered, kissing the pad of his thumb. Lo'ak ran his thumb over her bottom lip, and reached back for her queue, bringing it together with his own.
"Nga yawne lu oer, I want to be with you, like this, forever." Lo'ak murmured before making the connection between them. Y/n jolted in his arms, hanging on to his neck for dear life. She'd known the tsaheylu would have felt good, intense even. But she could not have anticipated half of what she was feeling at that moment. Lo'ak's heart was beating so hard, she could feel it in her own chest, battling against her own. And he wanted her... Eywa, he wanted her so bad he could have died from it.
Lo'ak saw inside y/n too, and wasted no time in tugging her forward in a searing kiss. She arched into him and squeezed her thighs around his middle, squirming in his lap as he finally let his inhibitions go. "Want this off--off..." Y/n protested at the sight of his loincloth, rudely tugging at it without much regard for the fact Lo'ak wouldn't have anything to wear the following morning if she destroyed his clothes.
Lo'ak grinned and helped her, finally getting some of his cheeky attitude back. "Who knew my y/n could be so needy—" Her hand on his cock however was enough to make him shut up, well, curse under his breath more like. Y/n meanwhile was completely enthralled with what she was doing, enjoying the feeling of Lo'ak's shaft hardening and leaking under her touch. The fact he was falling apart from it was just an added bonus. "Where were you hiding all this?" She teased and Lo'ak was certain the woman in his arms was going to be the death of him.
"S-shut up..." He whined, struggling to even remember his name when she twisted her wrist and added just the right amount of pressure, making Lo'ak buck up into her hand instinctively. "Shit, y/n, you're being really... d-distracting right now... you need to give me... ah... a break, okay yawne?"
Against every fiber of his being, Lo'ak gently removed her hand. She frowned "Oh? But I like playing with your—"
"Kehe! None of that either..." Lo'ak reprimanded her softly and she giggled. "Let me focus on you, please? I've been waiting for so long..." Y/n nodded, smiling shyly at his words. "Honestly..." Lo'ak mumbled, kissing down the slope of her breasts, having hooked his arms underneath her thighs to hold her higher up. "Only you could get all shy... at something like that... and not about jerking me off..." Y/n loved to listen to Lo'ak talk to her while he drove her crazy with his hands and mouth. The second Lo'ak figured her nipples were particularly sensitive, she was a goner. She mewled and whined as he abused them with his mouth, and tugged harshly on his braids, which only seemed to encourage him further.
Her remaining piece of clothing was completely soaked, and y/n had to resort to rutting herself down against his thigh to get any sort of friction. "Shit..." Lo'ak cursed, realising he'd completely neglected that aspect of things. "Yawne, you're so wet... is this where you need me?" He cooed and Y/n nodded, crying out from the relief of feeling Lo'ak push a single long digit inside of her. She was ready for him, had been for a while, but that didn’t seem to matter because Lo'ak had just discovered how much he loved taking her apart with his fingers. He wanted to eat up every single reaction he could get out of her, hooked on the feeling of her slick running down his skin and the deep purring sounds she'd make if he stroked the most inner walls of her core.
"L-Lo'ak... Lo'ak please... I don't know what's happening..." she sobbed, the coil that had been building in the pit of her stomach was about to snap and it felt so good and so foreign at the same time, y/n didn't know what was about to happen. Lo'ak stilled immediately, afraid he'd been hurting his mate, but then he understood. He didn't know if it was through their bond, or something else, but he just knew. "Just hold on to me, yawne." He asked he to trust him, not faltering his rhythm inside her for a second. "Trust me, I know it's scary, but you're about to feel so good. So, so good... I promise..."
The only thing better than watching his mate come apart was feeling her pleasure radiate through their bond. Lo'ak watched y/n in complete and utter adoration, holding her through the aftermath until her breathing went back to normal. "Lo'ak..."
"What is it, yawne...?"
"Don't make me wait anymore..." Y/n laid herself down on the grass, pulling Lo'ak down to be on top of her. It was so dark now so could perfectly make out all the luminous freckles on his body. He entered her slowly, immediately feeling like all the air had been knocked out of his lungs. Y/n was slick, warm and impossibly tight around him. It took everything he had not to fuck her senseless right then and there.
Y/n on her part wanted Lo'ak to be as close to her as it was physically possible. She wanted his body to completely cover her own, feel his entire weight bare down on her. "I'm right here, y/n..." He reassured her as he began to move, listening to her soft moans. "I see you."
It didn't take long for y/n to start meeting his thrusts, whining that he go faster. "I don't want you to stop, Lo'ak... you can't—" She had never felt so good in her life, and she begged to Eywa that the morning would never come if this was what the rest of their night was going to be like.
"No, 'm not gonna stop, yawne..." Lo'ak quelled her worries with a kiss, and lifted her hips upwards to hold them in place. The new angle made y/n cry out his name, and Lo'ak held her like that, one arm around her middle and his other hand splayed out across her stomach to keep her still as he fucked her in earnest. The nature of that raw act made her cum again, this time without warning as she clamped down on his cock.
Lo'ak wasn't that far behind her either. "Good. That's my good girl..." He praised, reaching out for her hand as she intertwined their fingers together. "Yawne... y/n I'm going to cum now... " He was about to make himself pull away, since they hadn't really discussed that sort of thing, but y/n locked her legs around his waist. "Inside me..." She whined with a shudder, a little overestimated by that point. That was more than enough to tip Lo'ak over the edge. He groaned, fucking his load inside y/n for what felt like an eternity. He'd never come so much and for so long.
Afterwards he found that he couldn't pull away from his mate. Y/n was particularly adamant that he stay inside of her even while they slept, and it didn’t fail to make Lo'ak grin like an idiot. "Can I at least turn as around so you can sleep more comfortably? I promise you, you can have my dick back in a second..."
She hissed at him, dismounting from him herself. "Only you could ruin a romantic moment like that, skxawng..."
Lo'ak hugged her from behind, kissing the bite mark he'd left on her neck. "So I'm back to being a skxawng? You know I liked the things you were calling me before a lot better..." He teased, doing a very poor impression of her moaning, which made y/n give his tail a sharp tug.
He did the same in retaliation and the ended up in one of their usual play-fights, only this time, Lo'ak didn't eventually shy away from her touch. Once they'd both finally worn each other out, Lo'ak wrapped his arms tightly around y/n as she rested on top of him.
"Y/n..." He whispered, wandering if she was still awake. Luckily she was already fast asleep. "Thank you. For choosing me."
#my writing#requests#avatar the way of water#avatar way of water#avatar 2#avatar x reader#avatar x you#avatar x y/n#lo'ak x you#lo'ak x reader#lo'ak fluff#lo'ak fanfiction#lo'ak smut#lo'ak imagine#lo'ak sully#lo'ak headcanons#lo'ak x y/n#atwow#atwow smut#atwow x reader#lo'ak x fem reader#avatar 2009#avatar fanfiction#avatar x reader smut
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HILLSBOROUGH - 35th anniversary, an educational post.
Today (In the UK time zone.) marks the 35th Anniversary of the Hillsburough disaster- where 97 men, women and children were killed as a result of a crowd crush duing the 1989 FA cup semi final.
There's only one way to describe what happened, WHY it got this bad- it was a utter and complete fuckup by the police. Do you ever wonder why we say 'dont buy the sun?"
this article right here. the fucking lies they spread saying that liverpool fans were to blame. do you know many lives could have been saved? 41 LIVES could have been saved if police had done their job.
but no. they chose to blame the fans. Claiming drunken fans attacked rescue workers, calling Liverpool fans 'animals'. You ever wonder why people day 'Don't buy the sun?'- Well, now you know. Those lies that were spread can't be undone.
As a Jounalist who I, frankly, refuse to name, once said for the sunday times...
"For the second time in half a decade a large body of Liverpool supporters has killed people ... the shrine in the Anfield goalmouth, the cursing of the police, all the theatricals, come sweetly to a city which is already the world capital of self-pity. There are soapy politicians to make a pet of Liverpool, and Liverpool itself is always standing by to make a pet of itself. 'Why us? Why are we treated like animals?' To which the plain answer is that a good and sufficient minority of you behave like animals."
And who could forget THIS comment from UEFA president Georges, days after the disaster happened?-
Note: You may be wondering- Wasn't the inital count 96? Why did it change?
Well- This. This is Andrew Devine.
he was 22 when he went to that fateful game, suffering servere-irreveserable brain damage as a result of the crush- he lived with those injuries until he was 55. FIFTY FIVE. That's- what? 33 years later? He died in 2021, and he was ruled to be the 97th Victim.
Why is Hillsburough important?
As of writing, Hillsborough is known as the worst footballing disaster in British History. You would think that this shouldn't happen again, right?
There are many examples to use, but see Liverpool VS Nottingham forest.
Why's Harvey holding a kid? That's cause he had nearly been crushed by forest fans as he was seperated from his mom. This could have been so much worse for the kid- and the fact that Harvey had to step in, and not any of the stadium security- that just speaks volumes.
Overall- It doesn't take much thought. 97 families will never see their sons, daughters again. They'll never see their sisters, brothers again. They'll never see their mom, dad again, or their grandma/grandpa. Nobody should go to a football game and not come back, THAT should be bloody clear.
97 Liverpool fans got the blame for this disaster. Blamed for being killed. Thousands more people had their lives forever changed. They wont get their family members back.
I wouldn't wish something like this happening to anyone.
If you support a team in England- there's no excuse for not knowing. This disaster is why there are SEATS in stadiums. Regardless of what team you support, you should never make a joke about something like this. Ever.
Those 97 people were utterly failed by the police and medical services. Justice for the 97. Those 97 people are not your material for bantering or chanting. Frankly if you chant about that, you should be very ashamed.
Many close friends of mine who are from Merseyside either know someone, or have family who were affected by Hillsborough. This disaster has affected MANY, even today.
On this anniversary, we should take away one thing. We need to make sure this doesn't happen again. It should have never happened.
Feel free to correct me if there is anything that I missed. I hope this post was able to educate others about the Hillsborough disaster and bring light to it on this somber anniversary. Never forget the 97
Sending my love from Egypt- You'll never walk alone. ✫ ✫ ✫ ♥️
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i just now learned about a recent case where a german man kidnapped and did unspeakable acts to two boys. one was german, one was a refugee. the first one was immediately treated as a missing case, but the second one was not because the cops were afraid the mother was hiding her son to avoid deportation. and the worst part is, that little boy was kidnapped in a government institution (lageso in berlin) where his mother went for help! its infuriating beyond belief.
racism is so deeply engrained in german institutions, its not funny. yet police refuses any reforms or real investigations and deny even the notion - despite mounting evidence - that there is an issue with systemic racism in german police. and we dont have an independent institution to control the cops, you know who investigates their failures and issues? other cops. and we all know how they stick together like literal shit.
but it also made me think about „missing white woman syndrome“. does anyone really care about an eastern european white woman who goes missing while being exploited in the west through prostitution, in the domestic field, nursing, or as a „mail bride“ dependent on her husband? does anyone care about a white woman in the usa going missing from a trailer park? does anyone care about a white woman who was homeless, mentally ill, drug addicted, disabled, impoverished, prostituted, or otherwise marginalised going missing? and do people not care about white men going missing?
and it also made me think about this current trend of oversimplifying and decontextualising racism. one thing i hope we all can agree on is that anti black racism is very persistent. i cant think of a single country where black people are treated preferably over other races, best case is to be treated equally as a black person, and even that is not the case in most countries. but this doesnt just apply to white majority countries. in japan or korea, or under the kafala system in the arabic gulf states, for example, black people are systematically discriminated against and exploited too. white people are also not the only ones guilty of colonialism and imperialism - albeit i dont want to minimise the scale of portugese, spanish, french, british/australin, german, dutch, belgian (neo)colonialism or the north american slave trade.
i dont know its just, everything always has to be put in context and looked at from an intersectional perspective but i feel a lot of people who fault white supremacy for everything dont do that. and dont get me wrong, white supremacy is the root of a lot of inequality and issues, but despite the name its not merely a black and white problem, its complex. for example, even if a roma or jewish person is white, neonazis dont consider them the same race as white people. or i remember my turkish professor once saying, „in turkey im considered white, but in germany im a person of colour“. because race is not just phenotype, it is also culture, nationality, location and ethnicity that matters for who is holding power and privilege.
meanwhile a lot of the same people will refuse to agree that sex matters. or claim that sex - which is a lot less ambiguous than race by the way and nobody argues that mixed race people prove that race is not real or doesnt matter the way they argue intersex people prove that sex is not real or doesnt matter - is a spectrum while chanting „black lives matter“. and i know that black communities do have that conversation about colourism and how whiteness is something even people of colour are supposed to „strive for“, which is why for example the harmful practice of bleaching your skin exists. so it is being acknowledged that race is a spectrum, but some of the same people who rightfully talk about black lives and how blackness is its own social category will call you a bigot for talking about female lives and how being female is a social category.
im not going anywhere with this, just some thoughts that came up regarding discussions on racism and sex and how they intersect too. feel very free to chime in especially as a person of colour obviously!
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if u missed my stream yesterday, i tried to boot up bravery network online just to mess around with singleplayer for a bit. if you haven’t heard of the game it’s a turn based competitive game that plays a lot like pokemon at the competitive level. it also has a gorgeous art style and incredible music. it never really blew up, but it had its dedicated fans and i liked it quite a lot back when it came out.
sadly it turns out that game’s servers went offline around march of this year! and the game can’t even run singleplayer without being online so the game at this point is just a text box that tells you servers are down. trying to look at the game’s website and the collective that made the game’s website they’ve both been turned into obvious spam.
so i spent an hour or so delving through the games (now mostly inactive) discord server and tried to learn what i can. the devs have been completely silent on social media for about 2 years, but someone who emailed the lead dev damian about the servers received a reply.
it’s weird damian said this since the servers have been down for about 9 months now with zero communication and the steam page for the game still remaining up with no indication the game is completely nonfunctional. i dont think anyone is trying to run a scam here or anything since refunds exist, but it is kinda shitty and unprofessional.
besides that the game’s last real appearance was on beastie ball’s kickstarter page showing damian as a collaborator.
people on the discord were happy to see the game acknowledged on any level. i am too.
i really loved bravery network online. i didn’t spend too much time with it, but i had a LOT of hope for what that game could become. they made a game like competitive pokemon WAY more accessible and in my opinion more fun. despite the hardships the game had i tried to be as positive as i could about it, but at this point i’m really disappointed that nobody could be bothered to stamp an “on indefinite hold” on the steam page. or worst case scenario just delist it. if possible i would hope some kind of offline patch would be made, or even some way to let the game run peer to peer but with how much of the system was server-side i have no idea how much of that is possible.
really i just want to post about this here because i don’t know how long the discord server will hold out. it’s not completely dead, but its far from active. it’s impossible to say how long any pages or servers or anything attached to this game will stick around. please know that this game mattered to me and some other people quite a lot. that’s all.
if you want to see a bit of the game i did stream it back when it was still around. theyre some of my first streams so theyre probably not great, but hey its not like u can go play it yourself
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The whole Daniel thing has made me think about how drivers that say dumb misogynistic things get treated by the fandom. If you're talking about Hulkenberg or Perez, then they're ruthlessly mocked for it (and rightly so imo), but if its a driver people like, like Danny Ric or Kimi, people seem to bend over backwards to defend them and find reasons to justify what they said. Idk, is it that both are part of very popular ships, where Hulkenberg and Perez aren't? I have a lot of thoughts, but I also have the flu so they're not the most organised (I hope ur having a good evening I love ur blog)
Hello! I think it comes down to the strength of their fanbase and their popularity in general.
Now, i can only speak about the ecosystem.of tumblr because i refuse to go near shitter in general and instagram in any fandomish way, and i do have these debated with my irls sometimes, so keep that in mind.
Firstly, Daniel, Kimi, even Seb (i refuse to leave out my misogynistic king of spewing dumb shit about grid girls who did, eventually, learn better, or at least finally learned not to say that shit in public) are very well liked, popular drivers. Namely, only two of them are wdcs and the third one never will be, but Daniel does have a devout fanbase and his former talent and potential as a driver must be acknowledged. With all those things come the fanbases, which are all prone to idolising their blorbo in any and every motherfucking way possible. Nobody is immune to this and obviously you'll be more ready to make excuses for your pathetic meow meow than for someone you dislike; thats a normal human sports fan fact. However if you look at Checo and Hulkenberg (there is only One True Nico in the sport and his surname is Girlbossberg), their fanbases aren't big, if they even exist on tumblr, or so I believe, unless I have missed a whole part of fandom existing somewhere in my bubble?
Moving on.
Now however, i do think there's difference in fanbases too ngl. We obviously dont all like the same drivers, some are more appealing to whatever attracts us than the others, and let's just say that birds of feather flock together and leave it at that. (A.N. so many people are sooooo wromg about their characterisations of most drivers but that's also my personal biases at work.)
So what I see here is that more popular drivera will have more fans quantiatively first and foremost (qualitative analysis: cancelled because of the imminent death of the author), ans those fans will be ready to take up arms and fight for their (white) boy millionaire. This brings the fans into some lovely personally-induced logical fallacies, like we've seen in the past couple od days. Now, im not gonna preach moral.high ground here like some because i am well aware of what kind of men thse people are (context is everything beloveds), but i will say this. People are prone to so many conscious amd unconscious biases which take a long while to dismantle. That's not an easy job, and when you project onto someone (valid) and develop a personal (to you, and not to generalise but oftentimes also a parasocial) relationship with a celebrity, you start taking things personally. Now this, id say from personal experience, would be the time to go take a walk. Snort some grass. Ride a bull and all that.
Amyways my point was, round the elbow to the wrist (or was it shoulder? i cant rmbr), that people will always rather defend their fave, no matter how shitty he is, than whichever driver they dislike. This is not uncommon; this is human nature.
I will add that a lot of fans (i dont know anything about their demographic) don't know the line between "following/thirsting over a hot dude" and the dangers of a parasocial relationship. My issue with it all is that what they do when thay feel threatened is deflect blame feom their special boy to literally anyone else, and that results in everyone who disagrees with this apparent popular consensus becomes a target of a witch hunt. Some people would rather go around attacking other's well-crticulated and above all well acessible target. Posts and people than call -- OKAY up to this point is what I wrote last night before I passed out like a log. I havent changed anything, which shows in lacking any sentence structure and missing words, so let me continue because I vaguely remember what I wanted to say.
My problem is that it's not personal, and people act as it is because they personally identify their own morals with who they like. And when they feel as if their personality is threatened or judged, they lash out, usually while taking some sort of artificially imagined "moral high ground". That results in hate anons in inboxes of anyone who disagrees with them and calls of "well you never liked him anyway so now you have an excuse". Like baby, no. Don't project your feelings on me. I know how shitty my special boys are, and i am capable of criticising them and stanning them while acknowledging the ways in which they suck. I dont equate my morals and ethics with stanning some boys who drive around in circles.
I think i lost the plot there by the end. Bottom line - when youre already disliked, not many people will rally to defend you, regardless of the fact you say exactly the same shit as someone who is beloved to people. :)
#hope thid makes dome sort of sense#f1 discourse#akira answers asks#lovely anons#effervescentdragonrants#<-#i think it deserves this tag too tbh#i rmbr making the meme ahahaha it didnt have three boxes so i had to improvise
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I'm late 😬 but I broke my ankle again so JUST PLEASE ACCEPT MY LATE ENTRIES OKI.
CW: grief, language
Artwork by @irunaki who graciously allowed me to borrow her work
FowlFest Day 2 - Diary Day
A Glimpse in Time
Holly ShOrt!!!
1953
HI DIARY!!! Today is MaY 3! It's my bIRTHDAY! I'M 32 today and at skool my class sang to me and gave me kandy! Escept for Riles Ross, cause he stole my space bar and ate iT in fronT of ME! >:( so i hit him in his face and all the kids laughed and Miss Persimmon sent me home. :( bUT I CAME HOME WITH CAKE! and its carrot. Mommy says it looks like our hair! :D cause we have orange hair! Daddy gave me a bow n arrow after cake and said I was a natural! Daddy is so strong he could hold me AND MY CAKE TOGETHER! :D then i got in trouble for hitting Riles Ross, but daddy told me later in secret that he was proud of me. :)
Anyway Diary, did you have a good day today? I sure hope so cause I did! I would share my cake with you but i dont wanna get cake on your pages :( sorry. BUT YOU CAN SLEEP WITH ME AND FOXY TONITE! we are having a secret sleep over under the bed. Foxy is so CUTEEE. sHH! Dont tell mommy or daddy. It's only for us :)
See ya there!
Holly Short
1983
Today was fucking bullshit. It was so fucking stupid, I almost don't want to make an entry about it, but my therapist claims it's good for my grief to vent my feelings, so, here I am. Venting my fucking feelings. And no. I don't feel better.
So, you want to know why today sucked. Today was my second day at the Academy. The LEP Academy.
I've always known I was going to be an officer, but lately, I've been compelled to do something more than LEPtraffic, or Immigration. Yesterday was already weird enough because I got tons of looks from all the beefheads, but then today, in my Criminal Investigations class, the professor asked us what our goals in the LEP were. Anyone that knows anything knows girls who join the LEP are destined for traffic, or some bullshit area of "policing". We never go further than that… Unless you're Wing Commander Vinyáya. And nobody is as cool as Wing Commander Vinyáya. She's a total babe. Definitely not me.
But anyway, I have other aspirations. Dad was Internal Affairs. Mom's LEPmarine. It's my destiny to be in the force, and if I'm gonna go in, it's go big or go home. So, I answer that I want to be in Recon. And I shit you not - everyone laughed, even the professor. The FUCKING professor.
Fuck.
Why can't a girl be Recon? We're not all airheads. Some of us are actually capable of handling ourselves. Mom always says my aim is deadlier than a stink worm too, so those townies don't know what they've got coming.
Shit. Said, not says. Mom is dead. Stupid mistake.
Whatever.
The only plus side to today was that I ran into Trouble Kelp. He's the hot Kelp brother. An idiot, but he has a good heart. He's a junior, and super famous for his scores. Everyone knows who he is, so you'd expect him to be a total glow slug, right? But he's actually really kind. Some guy tried to trip me in the hall, and before I could punch the daylights outta him, Kelp shoved him into the trash can and swore him off. It was totally cool. He'd make a good partner someday, I think.
OH! Back to Recon. Adding onto today's bullshit, I overheard some rookies going on and on about Commander Root. Apparently he's a tough nut to crack and hasn't ever had a girl in his unit, and he intends for it to stay that way. Well, too bad for him, because I've got my sights on Recon. I work alone, and fly alone. Nobody to bother me, no stinky males and their gross ear cheese. Just me, the wind, and the surface sky.
It's what mom and dad would want.
I hope they're proud.
Oh yeah, one last thing: it's my birthday today. I'm 62 today. Is it super lame that I put up pictures of mom and dad on the table with me? Just so, you know… I'm not alone?
Fuck. Duh. That's super lame.
Hey. I'm back. Don't mind the weird gap between pages. Didn't feel like writing for a bit so I took a nap. But I'm back.
Honestly? I'm a bit mad. And before you ask me in the session: about everything?
Being a girl is hard enough, right? 'cause I'm stuck in this gnarly place of not being pretty enough yet also not being "tough" enough to be accepted by the guys. And I just started. Why should my appearance fucking matter? I'm a fucking hotshot. I'm resilient. I already know how to pilot a shuttle. That's more than these maggots can do.
My dad would've known what to say. I didn't know him that long, really. But still, when I'd spaz out and tussle with other kids, he'd always have my back, and he always knew the right things to say. I wish I had that now, you know? I miss him.
I miss mom. But I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about her death and I won't be forced into it either, k?
Oh yeah, duh. My original point. It's my 62nd birthday, and I'm all alone. There's supposed to be some junior thing at a pub in the city. Juniors. Not rookies like these dorks. Mom would kill me if I went.
Hah. Guess I should rebel and go make some friends then? Maybe Trouble will be there? Not that I'm into him or anything. Just a friend or two would be nice.
Anyway. I've got basics in the morning.
Night, journal. See ya.
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fake asota d&d post simulator
🐈 bloomingflowers Follow
yeah okay i feel like everyone's overreacting over the blood in the hallways. missing students aren't exactly a problem, people drop out of school all the time. it's literally not a big deal
🎵 snakefreak Follow
didn't you get a callout post a few months ago for getting caught eating a human arm in the girls bathroom
🎵 snakefreak Follow
whof the fuck is knoucking at my dorm room entrance in the middle of the night .
427 notes
🐕 chickengirl Follow
excuse my language but i don't know how the FUCK to get out of this ice maze???????? any experts know what to do when your head starts spinning and you cant see right??? i think the reflections did some shit to me
⚔️ knightonpatrol23 Follow
op have you considered looking up the effects of low iron
🐕 chickengirl Follow
hold on i will in a second there's this weird crunching noise in the room ahead
🐕 chickengirl Follow
by the blight and the bane this can't be happening
#THE FUCKING MAYOR??? #hen.txt
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☘️ liadons Follow
does anyone know the best fertilizer for my venus flytrap? im not too sure how to keep its roots healthy while also giving it the flies it needs.
🐈 bloomingflowers Follow
where is my rock rael
☘️ liadons Follow
what the fuck? how did you find my tumblr?
🐈 bloomingflowers Follow
give it to me rael
🐈 notheath Follow
give it to me rael
☘️ liadons Follow
please stop harassing me. this prank isn't funny. im going to report you to staff.
🐈 notheath Follow
how resistant are you to fire attacks
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☀️ evvyblackbloom Follow
Hello, students of Alamaz. I know we're concerned about the rampant disappearances, and reports of some of our students coming back to school covered in blood, but there's absolutely nothing to worry about. Please remain calm during your stay here and make sure to lock your dorm rooms if you feel the need to.
☘️ liadons Follow
hey op arent you the one with the corpse pile in her basement
☀️ evvyblackbloom Follow
i have access to your student files, home address, family information, and authority over your brother, rael liadon
☘️ liadons Follow
EXCUSE ME
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🐈 bloomingflowers Follow
hey guys sorry abt the absence i was in jail for a bit :/
📚 bookworm87 Follow
how the fuck do you land yourself in jail????? arent you like. your bio says youre 16, what the hell did you do?
☘️ liadons Follow
dont ask stupid questions
🐕 chickengirl Follow
dont ask stupid questions
🎵 snakefreak Follow
dont ask stupid questions
#eboblogs #i hope nobody notices when bookworm87 mysteriously stops posting
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🐕 chickengirl Follow
that girl down by the interrogation station was pretty nice, i wonder if i can get in contact with her again :)
🐈 bloomingflowers Follow
:/
🎵 snakefreak Follow
im sorry catboy did you think i was the only one to get my crush swept away by some fucking golden retriever girl. the reckoning is upon you and if you think youll be spared its not going to happen.
🐕 chickengirl Follow
please get off my post
#hen.txt #i swear i need to like block these two off my blog or something #every time there's a blow up in my notifs #it's always them.
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☀️ evvyblackbloom Follow
im so hungry i could eat a
☀️ evvyblackbloom Follow
well
☀️ evvyblackbloom Follow
i shant say
📚 studentswag Follow
um. my classmate went missing about an hour or two before this was posted
#....this cannot be connected i think im going insane
563 notes
📚 studentswag Follow
alright this needs to be settled
#if youre already initiated you cant vote #your bias will show lmao #looking at a certain student whos name starts with d #and ends with aemus
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🌕 mooncrying Follow
i miss my home so fucking much. why couldnt things have stayed the same? why couldnt i be happy? it cant end like this for me.
🐈 bloomingflowers Follow
have you considered getting used to it
🌕 mooncrying Follow
I WATCHED YOU KILL MY DAD
#im so FUCKING SICK OF TABAXI!!!!!!!!! #ESPECIALLY THIS ONE!! #why are we giving heath a platform like #i know its "funny" to "observe him in his enclosure" #but hes gone TOO FAR!!
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Rating: 2/5
Book blurb:
Unforgettable, snarky, and romantic, I Hope This Doesn't Find You is Never Have I Ever meets To All the Boys I've Loved Before if Lara Jean wrote hate emails instead of love letters.
Sadie Wen is perfect on paper: school captain, valedictorian, and a "pleasure to have in class." It’s not easy, but she has a trick to keep her model-student smile plastered on her face at all times: she channels all her frustrations into her email drafts. She'd never send them of course -- she'd rather die than hurt anyone's feelings -- but it's a relief to let loose on her power-hungry English teacher or a freeloading classmate taking credit for Sadie's work.
All her most vehemently worded emails are directed at her infuriating cocaptain, Julius Gong, whose arrogance and competitive streak have irked Sadie since they were kids. "You're attention starved and self-obsessed and unbearably vain . . . I really hope your comb breaks and you run out of whatever expensive hair products you've been using to make your hair appear deceptively soft . . ."
Sadie doesn't have to hold back in her emails, because nobody will ever read them . . . that is, until they're accidentally sent out.
Overnight, Sadie’s carefully crafted, conflict-free life is turned upside down. It's her worst nightmare -- now everyone at school knows what she really thinks of them, and they're not afraid to tell her what they really think of her either. But amidst the chaos, there's one person growing to appreciate the "real" Sadie -- Julius, the only boy she's sworn to hate . . . .
Review:
Rival academics with a touch of To All the Boys I've Loved Before in this story about a girl who's emails about her rival and the entire school are sent... and now she has to deal with the fall out of it as well as possibly falling for the one guy she never thought she would. For 10 years Sadie Wen and Julius Gong have been competing against each other. They've made everyone at school's life a bit difficult with their extreme need to beat each other. Sadie hates Julius, she hates how perfect he is, how handsome he is, how smart and mean he is. The only way to vent her angry? Draft up emails to him and everyone else whenever they make her angry... except now suddenly all those emails have been sent out. Now everyone is getting to see the real Sadie, and the careful "perfect" image of herself is going up in flames. Yet one person seems to appreciate the real her... and it's none other than Julius. The more Julius and Sadie begin to talk to each other after the truth is revealed the more complicated the feelings begin to grow and Sadie is starting to realize that maybe the boy she's been obsessively trying to beat... the one person who is constantly on her mind might be the perfect person for her. This one was meh for me, I had really high hopes for it but it kind of fell flat unfortunately. I just couldn't really vibe with Sadie and the situations she ended up in just didn't make sense. Sadie is suppose to be super intelligent but can't even keep a diary or oh I dont know, a word doc of letters but saved a ton of draft emails and then doesn't make sure that they are properly locked up and can't be sent? I don't believe it. Also she goes from being outspoken and to being walked over by people, she'll want to out do Julius but never speaks out about people using her and letting herself be a pushover to please people? Pick a lane girl, either you can stand up for yourself and are a go getter or a timid people pleaser. Also the romance with Julius barely even felt there and I love academical rivals to lovers stories. It literally barely happens by the end of the book. I wish I liked this book more, it had the elements of all the things I usually love, but it just missed the mark for me sadly. If you enjoy academic rivals to lovers give this one a go, maybe you'll have a better time with it than I did.
*Thanks Netgalley and Scholastic, Scholastic Press for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*
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First, how are you today? I hope you have a good day so that you can answer this message without making us start animosity or problem
Secondly, I appreciate your answer, as you understand what I said, but I am afraid that we are on opposite sides here ، I was a former writer myself and my message is not directed at you What I meant by attacking or I will not follow you and I will not recommend you to anyone else (I am not a hostile person the most I can do is say that you are neglectful to your followers)
Thirdly, there is a certain category of authors, I mean they are not busy or who have jobs, etc. I did not mean that some of them log in and publish things and write other requests, and I am like Did you not receive my order or is there something wrong???So I wait weeks and it really pisses me off
I'm ready to wait years, not just months, that's okay, I may understand your situation, but the simplest thing you can do is tell me that at least you'll write it down, or tell me you can't.
Don't make me look stupid, just tell me, that's all I ask I'd be glad if my letter angered at least some of the authors (the intended category) who'd start moving their asses and work on their requests.
have a great day sweetheart
-🌿
I was okay until i read ur ask.
Oh no, anon. I never start problem. The only one who started problem was u.
I will put a pict or link from your previous ask just in case some people missed it from yesterday that you started all this.
So u came to my inbox, n ranted a paragraph about how u r running out of patience or what u think about authors and u act like u weren't the one that started the problem?
How do u expect me to react at what u said yesterday? u said that it wasnt directed to me but u literally show up out of the blue saying all that stuff. Directed to me or not, I don't like what u said, I am an author and i have a lot of other author friends n of course I wasnt gonna stay quite about it.
yes, we r totally on the opposite on this. I'm on the author sides and u sound like one ungrateful bossy follower who r upset because us authors dont write ur requests or dont notify u.
The fact that u r a former writer, it makes u sound a lot worse. U should've understand or even know better that it's not easy to write fics, write requests, all while trying to continue things on ur life.
u say that u r not a hostile person, but telling us that we r neglectful to our followers sounds pretty mentally hostile. u hv no rights to tell that to us. No offense to my lovely n sweet followers, but we owe nobody anything.
most of us write for ourself but we gladly want to share it with other n like i said, taking request from them is one of our way to appreciate them n interact with them. I write to help myself from drowning in my depression but im grateful that people like my writing enough to even send requests n i appreciate every single one of them.
u don't know how our lives is or how our days are so u have no right to judge saying that we r lazy or whatever u wanna say. I dont have a job, i'm a full time mom n it still hard to find time to write.
it's our blog n we can do whatever we want. we can NOT notify u whether we will write ur request or not. like i said, u r on anon, how r we gonna notify u where we dont even know who u r.
I don't reply or notify if im gonna write a request or not because i try not to put people hopes up if i say im gonna write it but i end up dont write it, I dont notify or answer the request until i actually post the requested fic because i like to keep the request in my inbox so i can keep it in track.
we have the right to pick n choose what we r going to write.
n you know what? the way u call ur request to some author as ur "order", i hate it because u r not our boss or leader or king or whatever who order us what to write or when or tell us what to do.
n u have the audicity to say this "I'd be glad if my letter angered at least some of the authors (the intended category) who'd start moving their asses and work on their requests." ? why don't u move ur ass out of my blog and stop sending me entitled demanding narcisstic ask.
"Dont make me look stupid.." no, anon, we didnt make u look stupid. U, urself who make u look stupid by acting like this.
How dare u to come to my blog talking shit n trying to guilt trip me, making it seems im the hostile one or cause problem.
I am asking u nicely to leave my blog n u r more than welcomed to unfollow me or im gonna block u.
P.S: yes u angered us authors n no, it wont make us writing ur request if u act like this.
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Son of Neptune. First reading thoughts:
— Ok, I actually read this two months ago, but forgot to post it, so this is a short review, beacuse my thoughts are a little scrambled now.
—Let me tell you, when I got on the "Heroes Of Olympus" ride, I thought it would be a diferent story, with totally diferent characters and I was on board with it.
I went expecting AT MAX a cameo from Percy. Imagine my excitement when I saw "Percy" written in the firts chapter.
—I really missed Percy guys.
—And I really hate Juno
—“But be warned, you will sacrifice much! You’ll lose the mark
of Achilles. You’ll feel pain, misery, and loss beyond anything you’ve ever known. But
you might have a chance to save your old friends and family, to reclaim your old life.” BITCH EXCUSE ME?? JUST LET HIM BE HAPPY.
—Ok but, Camp Jupiter sounds so cool???!! I adore roman architecture, it was a delight to read about the temples, the baths, everything, ughhh. I kind of liked it more than Half-Blood Camp
—Ok, more new characters!
— I adored Hazel and Frank, I'm loving how unique and intereresting all the new characters are.
—My poor Hazel, like are we gonna talk about how she DIED?? In a horrible way??. She was dead for YEARS. And the whole thing with her mother losing her mind and the cursed stones, and all that wtf.
And she is super little too, she is like what, thirteen?? She is still a kid, most of the others are borderline teenagers by now (wicj is still horrible, but like??). She even has like, trauma black outs. Poor girl, I dont think we focused enought on how messed up everything she went through was.
— Also her powers are really cool. Like her power controling gems?? Earthbenders who???
—Frank was amazing too, I kind of guessed his father was Mars, and I love the contrast beacause Frank is adorable.
—All the buildup to his special power being turning into animals was AMAZING. That power is so incredible, I was so excited when the reveal happened.
—I love Percy so much. He takes ONE look at the god of war and is like "I may not remember anything, but I remember you're a bitch."
—Reading Mars claime Frank felt like watching that one kid's dad who was way too intense with anything regarding his child, and would passive-agressively fight with the teachers during school making it akward to anyone because nobody could tell if he did all that for his kid or for himself.
—The only thing Percy remembers is Annabeth HOW ADORABLE IS THAT
—Reyna was cool too, I thought she was a very fun and cool character, I hope we see more of her.
—Octavious was annoying af. He tried to be creepy but I know who you are sir, and what you are is cringe.
— You are telling that, while Groover was traumatized in The Lighting Thief because he had seen so many demigod kids at Camp Half-Blood die before they turned into teenagers, the vast majority of the demigods in Camp Jupiter were just... fine? Thriving? Living their lives?
—Not Nico pleading insanity the second he sees Percy and lying to his face. MY BOY WHAT ARE YOU DOING.
—The whole book it was hurting me that Percy didn't remember anyone or any past adventures.
—Loved Ella, such a fun character.
—AMAZON, is from the AMAZONS?? I... sure why not
—I was not expecting the circe island adventure to come back in any way, ever. It was pretty interesting to see that conflict with Percy, Reyna and her sister.
—Mars gave Frank... a zombie. Yeah, alright.
—It was so cool to see Thatanos, I was excited the whole book and it did not disapoint. I loved how he is potrayed, that aura, his beauty .
—AHA! THEY MENTIONED EROS (or cupid, whatever). SO YOU DO KNOW HE EXISTS, RIORDAN.
—"Death has more in common with love that you might imagine" Oh yes, give that methaphoric stoytelling to me.
—It actually caught me by surprise that death was a recurring theme on this book. Hazel and Frank coming to therms with their experience with mortality, the exploration of grieve, the almost philosophical discussions abut it (some even coming from Mars, wich has even more meaning) On top of the whole mission being to free the literal Death.
It was fascinating to explore characters with these themes, and it made a lot of the scenes between Percy, Frank and Hazel very touching.
—All the final battles were amazing, I enjoyed them a lot.
—Oh right, and Tyson was here! I loved to see him again.
—Okay the thing about Leo looking like Sammy is making my head hurt. Is it goint to turn out he is like his grandson or something?
—The way I screamed when the book ended. JUST WHEN THEY ARE ABOUT TO REUNITE.
—Ok, I've restrained myself from reading the next book for long enough, I'll go read it now.
#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#hoo#the son of neptune#first reading#hazel lavesque#frank zhang
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i have watched the dsmp finale multiple times and it hits hard every time. i am emotionally wrecked rn.
wbu? also overall what are ur thoughts on the finale??
personally i thought it was gr8- tommy died a hero, dream didn't die a villain, and overall it felt very poetic and epic
i havent seen tommys pov so i cant really say many thoughts on that, i dont like that they made cdream sympathisable(?) i guess ? idk hes been the bad guy For the whole smp and if he was going to get a redemption arc i feel like it shouldnt have been rushed . he abused ctommy and drove him to attempt suicide not to mention all the shit he did to ctubbo too ?
ctubbos ending, on the Other hand :( ough.
im disapointed we didnt get closure for him. he never got to prove that he wasn"t just the sidekick, he never got to confront cdrm or Anyone, he just sort of.. stayed the pawn
he flicked the lever, thinking it was going to kill his best friend but also save the world. and his death ?? sitting on the bench where him and tommy always sat, listening to the discs???? ow
i dont like the ending that much . it feels sort of lazy and the "they all get amnesia" season 2 ??? its poetic That ctubbos creation ended everything, that ctommy died thinking he saved ctubbo, but, idk. i wish we couldve gotten closure
it feels like i cared about these characters for no reason, there wasnt Much actual tragedy in the ending but more being upset that all the characters i cared about died Jist like that
im gonna miss ctubbo man:( i think im mostly sad Because i relate to him a lot and him losing that hope of ever being happy made me lose some hope for myself
we never got cbeeduo ending, and what was in the book tommy left ???? what about micheal and the syndicate and the mushroom base and las nevadas and Karls time travelling ???? did ckarl know this wuz gna happen??
so many questions LMAO
i do think,that its an interesting ending. im sad that ctubbo wont ever go on to lead a happy life and im sad cbeeduo wont ever see each other again and im sad micheal is an orphan or probably dead
and im sad theres nobody to mourn ctubbo like he mourned everyone else , theres nobody to grieve or miss him or accidentially bring out an extra plate for dinner or look at his empty spot in the bed or notice his unused shoes on the porch but never get rid of them
all in all itwas a tragic miserable abrupt ending to a tragic miserable Smp
:(
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Hello!!
I do not want to be bothering or rude, I am just curious if you’ve had time or energy to continue Leave, I still love the story so much and am looking forward to find out how it goes!!
But if not it’s ok, I just hope you have a nice day no matter what!! <3
Short answer , it's not discontinued but idk when I will work on it again. Sorry to be a disappointment
Long answer you probably dont want to read
I hate it. I can't even read it. I like my story, I like the plans I HAVE for the story, I just.... cant read my own writing. And this isn't some kind of compliment fishing either, it's gotten to the point I dont even like getting nice comments about it on my ao3 inbox anymore.
I sit down to work on it and I just... can't. All I can think about is how cringy it sounds ... and how bad it is, etc etc
Logically I know I'm actually a pretty good writer. But all I see when I look at this shit is mistakes.
And I come across in my writing as... way too emotional and earnest? If that makes any sense. I've mentioned I never made a plot outline, that shit is sooo obvious when i read it. And how I changed the plot three or four times. And how I changed the plot every time I got upset.
I used to not give a fuck about appealing to other people when I wrote because I didnt have anyone whose opinion I cared about reading it but now I feel like I have to write it not shittily or I'll disappoint everyone and myself. And I'm not capable of writing it not shittily right now because I would
a) have to build off the disjointed skeleton I've already made that's got plot holes and mischaracterizations
b) start over from scratch
And I can't do it right now! I cant!
I keep thinking about how my best friend told me I shouldn't put vent art on the internet at all. I feel disgusting now almost. Like people that take pics of their cuts and post em. I know shes full of shit but I cant shake the feeling. That it's my fault if I trigger somebody. That by writing anything that isnt a joke or fluff I'm doing something gross and self-masturbatory and harmful. "If you interpret the characters in a way the author didnt want you're just wrong..." that's what she said.. Its kirby and Meta knight and magolor for gods sake. What am I doing trying to make a gritty realistic darkfic... from a kids game.... cringe.... (only me tho. Nobody else counts)
Even my other works for other fandoms, it almost feels like they're on a timer as soon as I post them. I go "I like that, that's good" and post, and then a few days later I'm like "oh . That's shit now" and it has nothing to do with engagement or anything, its just like an arbitrary switch flipped in my brain
The only time I was writing well and writing consistently... was when I was being abused... I feel like I've lost my spark ... because maybe the only time I can make anything good is when I'm under so much emotional pressure I feel like I'm about to snap.... but if that were true I should be writing right now haha.
And I can sit here and know all these things, that when I'm stressed my thought process goes all stupid, that I'm actually a good writer, that I'm not hurting anybody by the fic I post, that writing something shit is better than not writing anything at all, but it doesn't do anything to change how I feel.
But. I did say it's not discontinued, didnt I?
If its stressing me out so much well why dont I delete it, well the answer to that is I HATE HATE HATE when authors delete their good shit.... deep down I know a lot of people love my stories and that they have some worth... that's why I haven't deleted them all...
I love writing, still.... writing for cotl feels less bad than kirby cos.. it feels like its expected to be edgy and dark, so I dont feel bad about what I write until later at least... but I still love to write and create....
I just need some time... I miss writing kirby stuff but I just can't face my own writing. I cant face myself. And it order to start writing again -- I think that's my problem. I would have to forgive myself for not being perfect. I would have to admit that , like my writing , its okay to love myself/my writing even with the manymanymany .flaws.
I can't. Not right now. Maybe later tho
I didnt have that last revelation before. Not until I wrote everything out. When I was trying to explain all my feelings to someone else , I ended up explaining it to myself. This post was long overdue anyway
Sorry
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i got my birthday cards from my dads family tonight. i swear i almost caught myself opening them more carefully this year. ive never kept any of them. i dont think it would have been good for me, but i wish i did. i think that getting rid of them makes doing this every year easier. more like a transaction, less like real people. im a sentimental person but i try not to be. people and things mean a lot to me and its really hard when i try to push everything away. i always pretend that i dont care about whats written in each tacky piece of folded cardstock with crudely printed cakes and balloons and flowers on each of them but i think i do. i think i always have. i read them quickly and make a facial expression that represents something between nonchalance and disgust in hopes that that performance is enough to keep myself from crying.
its an indescribable feeling, this one is. it comes out as tears but i dont think its sadness. I think its an amalgamation of every complex emotion ive ever felt. its grief, anger for sure, and something else. i mourn for something that once was, that i know ill never have again. half of the people i hear from every year are dead now, they all died this year. i could talk to the living ones again, but ill never get out of it exactly what im seeking because thats impossible. im not the child they knew and they're not the people i knew. we're different now, but everyone always stays the same in the worst ways possible.
my sister said "they're bad people, but they're still people," and i think thats what gets me the most. they are truly inherently bad people. they are harmful and unsafe. and i miss them. not for who they are, but for how i remember them. still they grieve and mourn for people i once knew too, regardless of how horrible they are and were.
its a weird thing, to mourn as an adult and a child at the same time. nobody tells you that that's something that can happen, but it is. how do i, at twenty years old, process something that ten year old me never got to? twenty year old me doesnt feel much for these people and this situation. she's been through a lot and has learned to expect very little of people. she cares too much and she's always scared but she'll never tell anyone that. ten year old me knew too much and not enough. she didnt know why things were happening, just that they were and that things were unsafe. she didnt know that that was the last time she was gonna see those people. she really cared about them. maybe she would have said something. i know she wouldnt have. she didnt know how. i still dont. not even when i had the chance. we're still the same person, her and i. we're different in many ways, but fundamentally very little has changed. maybe thats why this is all so hard.
id like to talk to the younger me, i think. someone needed to give her a hug and let her cry on their shoulder. i wish i could be that for her.
i hope that somewhere in another universe im living happily with no emotional burden. not for my sake, but for the sake of the little girl i was before i was me.
#i really genuinely dont care who reads this#i think kve finally given in to the idea of oversharing about my mental state on this website#if its not obvious im not doing well#if someone wants me to tag this ig i will but im not doing it if no one sees it#aiilov-personal
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This is what I would send you if we stop being friends.
You hurt me A. You hurt me a lot, I miss when we were good friends. I miss when we would talk to eachother in a loving way and actually care about each other. I know being online friends and friends in real life is completely different but I had faith in you and us. I thought we could still make it work because I know the love you gave me before didn't come out of nowhere. I know I did many things wrong. I'm sorry for not putting as much effort into finding a job earlier than I should've. I'm sorry I was rude sometimes. And I'm sorry for putting burdens onto you. But I at least I apologized and tried to make up for those things. At least I put effort into making things better for all of us. But you never put in the same effort to fix your mistakes and our relationship. You made insensitive jokes to me, you laughed at me, you didnt take my trauma seriously, and you treated me like shit. But I put up with it because I still wanted to fix things and I still cared about you. But what's the point if you don't do the same for me, what's the point if I always fuck up when I'm with you and instead of resolving it at the moment and fixing it like mature adults, you tell me long after where I feel guilt and second guess myself because I thought I was being respectful. Im so sick of dealing with all this pain. You said "don't let me hurt your feelings" but how can you not when you do all these things? It hurts that the person I thought I would love forever turned out like this. It hurts that you have to be added to the list of people that hurt me and stopped caring about me. Because of you I dont think I can be best friends, much less love somebody ever again for a long time. I hope you know what you've done. I hope that you change and realize your mistakes and genuinely apologize to me. But to be honest I think it's wishful thinking because nobody has ever genuinely apologized to me for all the grief they have caused me. I'm sorry A, but I can't take this hurt anymore. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than stay in a one sided friendship where all my love and care goes down the trash.
I find it funny and sad that you keep bringing up that old stupid fake ass friend I had too. I told you how much pain she caused me and you still joke about it and even about my mom. Plus i was just a stupid ass middle schooler. I didnt know what i was doing and i was desperate for affection. How would you like it if I joked about you know who? I would never do that shit and yet you do it to me. You were BETTER than that bitch. I genuinely loved you and I wanted to be your girlfriend. I drew us together and sent you gifts and cared for you more than I ever did with anyone. You were the biggest love of my life and now you don't even care about that. I loved you A. Why did it have to come to this. Why did you have to turn out like everyone else. I hate my fucking life bruh I wish I was fucking dead.
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