#i am personally not ready myself

[featheryhoe]

It was already afternoon and no one had seen Asmodeus all day long.

With no explanation to this sudden disappearance, panic had started to spread in the Lust Ring.

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┊ ┊ ★⋆

┊ ◦

★⋆ ┊ . ˚

˚★

Meanwhile, a young angel with a panicked look on his face wandered the ring.

Tall and average built, nice and light blue feathers covering all his body. Glowing golden eyes and mouth showing nothing but confusion and distress, golden wings handing on the side as if to guard him from danger.

No one recognized him.

Not many would.

It’s been so long since he…

what was going on?

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ˚★⋆｡˚ ⋆

┊ ┊ ┊ ⋆

┊ ┊ ★⋆

┊ ◦

★⋆ ┊ . ˚

˚★

archangel Ozz text is orange.

he will recognize Gabriel, Lucifer and possibly the other sins.

he won’t recognize Michelle, MJ, Fizzarolli, Andromeda or anyone else he met during his stay in hell.

@headlessdeaddancer @ask-the-archs @nerdyquestier @intrtwinedfate @fizzythefrog

#i am personally not ready myself #‘old memories’ arc #asmodeus helluva boss #helluva boss #hellaverse #asmodeus #helluva boss ask blog #helluva boss asmodeus #helluva boss asks #ask blog helluva boss #ask blog #ask game

[jasperyourmutt]

hi everyone <3

I have a bit of a life update. To make a long story short, last week I was diagnosed with PTSD. I have been having a... very hard time coming to terms with that. For most of my life I believed I just had a bad anxiety disorder, but I am now realizing that is unfortunately not the case. The past couple months I have been in a near constant state of fight or flight, fear, panic, whatever you want to call it- without really realizing it. and man. it has been exhausting, mentally, physically, spiritually. I just thought it was normal to feel like this all the time. i assumed everyone felt like this. my therapist has helped me realize I am in a lot of pain right now and it is not normal. so. the good news is that there is an intensive trauma therapy that I will be doing for the next couple months that is going to really help me recover. i love and trust my therapist with my whole heart. there is a light at the end of the tunnel. i am finally getting the help i need. so. unfortunately I am going to step away from tumblr for a bit. i dont really want to do this, i love being on here. i love interacting with all the friends i've made here. kink has become a very important and healing part of my life. but it is just a little too much for me at the moment. I'm not sure when I will return, could be a couple weeks, a couple months. I'll return when I feel right. I feel like this may be a little odd to share here, but it's important to me to acknowledge and share that I have been having a really hard time. i tend to downplay when i'm in pain. i feel like people usually don't care about me (i know this is very very much not the case. im trying to convince my brain of that too.) its really hard for me to tell people when i am struggling, especially in my real life. so i am taking baby steps and starting here. so, until I return- chase your tails for me, roll in the grass, bark at the squirrels. take care of yourselves. if you are struggling, know youre loved. get the help you need. i will be curling up in my dog bed and taking a nap in the sun. ruff ruff. wag wag. much love to all of you.

#agh personal posts. i know this is mainly a dogboy kink blog and some people will not care. but this is my blog and i will share what i want #i am safe and okay. i am just.. struggling to accept that i am very very sick right now. i was raised to just push that shit way down. #im done doing that. i am going to have to feel all the pain to heal it. nervous but excited. ready but hesitant. #anyways. hi. i love what this blog has done for me. for what this community has done for me. i will be back. you cant get rid of me! #will be keeping an eye out for messages for the next couple days. but this post is mainly to give myself permission to take a step back. #its weird. i feel obligated to post here and am feeling guilty for putting myself first. but thats the trauma i guess! #anyways anyways anyways. if youve read all of this i love you. thank you for listening. see you soon. #jasperbarks

[iraprince]

Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow

hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.

like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.

anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better

#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages. #or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it. #i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') - #- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action. #also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally) #u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not-- #--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control #as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of' #'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important' #bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem #but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine #i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and- #inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR #i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be #-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that #ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind

[taohs]

i came out to my coworker !!!!

#personal #she said she was proud of me for coming so far and trusting her :) #its taken me a long time to come to term with my sexuality and im happy its not something that i want to hide anymore #ive made up my mind to tell my mom the truth this pride month so i am bracing myself for that too #whatever happens will happen but im ready to accept it and it'll be a load off my shoulders #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[romansmartini]

long live the king! and the other king!

roman | kendall

#succession #roman roy #kendall roy #that’s right everybody. i made shirts. get ready for me to be the most annoying person in the world about them #i can confidently say that wearing the one i made for myself is the greatest joy of my life rn #so for that reason alone i have to recommend you check them out #i also can’t express how desperate i am to make more designs but i need some extra dollars first so … #give me money. money me. money now. me a money needing a lot now

[piningprecussionist]

Template by @juni38

Im going to be completely frank with you all... and admit that I read these options and wasn't sure how to take this chart,,, so uh. Under the cut is Another Version. I'd apologize but I've given you the option to keep scrolling ¯\_(･･)_/¯

(If you notice characters missing on Kim's side, I probably figured she doesn't know who they are lol)

For the record,,, if they *wanted* me to pull their hair-- *is shot several times before I can continue*

Uhh Matthew is here because I have been converted fully on he/him or enby lesbian Matthew I think. He lives in my brain rent free now, very gender. I'd pull his hair but also I think he mostly just deserves to have it played with nicely.

And Scott's here because 1) I enjoy trans Scott, 2) Kim Pine Brain Rot possibly, 3) idk he's like,, the exception. God damnit, I've fallen for the inexplicable Scott Pilgrim Effect. What the fuck--

I did think about doing this chart like everyone was actually applicable to my tastes, but even if they were I think the ones I didn't put up would have to fall on the caress side bc I just don't feel that way abt them lol.

Again, not to say that's the case for the gals over on that side,,, I just think I would want to be gentle w them shxkdjsdhbd with the exception for Lynette who probably deserves to have her hair pulled, but again I fear she would Hurt Me,,, but maybe in a fun way,,,

Anyway No One Look At Me....

(,, also,,, Ramona is so far over bc I think she would enjoy it,, otherwise she'd be closer to Kim in that section. Same thing w Roxie)

If anyone actually looks at this version, I'm not opposed to doing a version like this for Kim btw! Just ask for it so I feel like I'm not just Dropping This and scurrying away

#sp comic #meme #kim pine #id tag more people but i Do Not Have The Strength.... #also i like Living and I think the idea of more people seeing the suggestively taken one makes me want to Die a little #(not to say you cant reblog this or whatever im just being dramatic shdjejsdhdhgdd I am generally a fairly Reserved person) #for the kim chart- i based my other scott placement on the interaction theyve had here! i think if they interacted for real or more often + #+ he'd end up definitively in the Pull Roughly suggestion with most people #ooc #he maybe if i finish edits for everyone i could try this w the au stuff. kit's thoughts might be different here... #hey* #also let me know if i forgot anyone??? i thought abt including the robots but. no hair. and gideon the cat has Fur so. on technicality- #but like barring parents and peter i think i got most people #i guess if lainey was here she'd go somewhere in the middle or right? w/out knowing what she'd be like #FUCK I DIDNT MEAN TO POST THIS. I MEAN IT'S HERE NOW SO IM NOT REMOVING IT BUT I AM S C R E A M I N G I WASNT READY #ah i forgot crash and the boys actually. thats why i wasnt supposed to post this yet #uhhhh Pull Roughly for like all of them. except trasha. trasha gets head pats and a juice box #except for on Kim's chart. on Kim's chart she's in the pull roughly section I can't lie to myself. she hates that kid 😭 also on that note + #+ knives should probably be in the middle section. like she wants to pull it for her having copped her style and being stupid abt scott. #but I didn't put her there bc I feel like even if she wants to she wouldn't ya know? knives is a Precious Angel after all

[invece-sto-sdraiato]

Good lord

Today my anxiety levels became like this 📈📈📈 when my guitar teacher asked me to sing. While me, having never listened to any tamil song enough to know complete & proper lyrics: 😰😰😰

The thing is that, I have crippling stage fright when I have to sing. Like really horrible. I haven’t sung to my parents since like… 2020. And they NEVER let me forget that. Especially since I’ve won two awards at school for it in the span of two years.

I do feel bad about it, but this fear seems to be the worst with my parents and friends. With others/strangers, it’s not THAT bad (but it isn’t great either)

The biggest crime here probably is the fact that I’m not a bad singer. My voice is like… okay ig??? Sorry, I’m super insecure about my voice. Gaaahhh when will I overcome this?

#welp #this is like…. a thing I really hate about myself #but if you ask me to sing joker out songs then I’ll be up and ready #lmaooo why am I like this #personal #addie says stuff

[eonars]

um. tfw your life is about to change massively very very soon and it still doesn't even feel real yet and still feels like somethings gonna pop up and it won't actually happen and also you're scared as fuck that you're too stupid to actually do it and it'll all be for nothing

#like what do you mean full time salaried w benefits and paid vacation just to do. school. #what made you so enthusiastically think i was the perfect one to do this #when the last approx 20something other guys were like ummmm no you cannot do it #tbf like all that other shit up there aside #this did actually come at the perfect time #i look back on who i was during my masters and i legit do not recognize that person #i barely even remember it i have to look at pictures to think back on who i was #in a strange roundabout way being forced home to stay for a while #kind of re centered me and gave me time to come back to myself in a big way. i was really lost before #and chaining something like this directly after my masters would have been disasters #even like this time last year i did not have this level of mental clarity #and i think thats why i didn't get any of the other positions i was just in a fog and i think people could tell #so as much as like im super scared and nervous about this big change and big exit from my comfort zone #and a little sad and mournful that im leaving my family and wont hear my native language all day every day anymore #im the most ready ive ever been #2019 me was NOT ready im scared of her tbh!! idk what wave i was on but it was weirdo shit! #im also proud that i essentially rawdogged and brute forced a lot of introspection and improvement #entirely on my own #like i really can only just describe it as clarity i feel like i matured 10 years in 4 and cleared all the fog #i feel so good about the way i handle things and react to things now vs then #im like 500x more unbothered and actually know how to put myself first now #anyway uh this prob could have been its own post in and of itself #but woteva innit im proud of how much internal repairs i did on myself over the last few years #became a stable genius as it were #whos a lot more clearly defined and present #but fuck man! i am still scared of being 2stupid

[raelyn-dreams]

Okay so Twinkle Kuuchuusen is AMAZING (as expected and I will try to gather my thoughts about it later), but THE SOLOS OH MY GOD THE SOLOS AND THE LYRICS I'M!!!

They both reference 2x2 a lot, and you can see their development so much from their previous solos! There's a big theme of acceptance and both and they're driving me crazy with it!

Hinata's '"street" being bathed in blue and how he accepts it as a part of himself before declaring he's going to light it up with colors because he'll love himself even more!!! The way he doesn't try to gloss over the negative but decides he'll stick to his positive worldview while taking everything in stride! How he knows now that no matter how far they drift their hearts will always reconnect!

And Yuta walking the line between two worlds confidently, not looking back into the shadow of days past and pushing ahead into the unknown! Going all out and no longer suppressing his feelings, engraving them into his heart and making bold decisions as himself! The way he connects their worldviews with their differing light, knowing someone will always be at his back no matter what!

If there was ever any doubt within me about the future of 2wink, I feel like these solos resolved it. They really have come to a temporary truce and peace with each other, they'll stay together while continuing to push and compete in their separate ways. These songs feel like letters to each other almost, about how they're able to move forward with their own worldviews without shame, but will always hold the other close. And even if they do come to that breaking point in the future, after the dust has settled, they'll still be there watching the night sky - in a much better place than where they started.

#i have so much i could say here on god #my breath literally caught when hinata sang “I'll love myself even more” like PLEASE DO YOU DESERVE SO MUCH I'M SO PROUD OF YOU #i am so pleased with the direction they took yutas in it captures his new personality and motivation with the way he still cares so well #2wink climax was amazing but it also scared and emotionally broke me so i am so happy that the solos are what i hoped #people debate !! era writing which is reasonable but god. !! era 2wink has NEVER missed honestly they did them so well #hinata and yuta being so underrated always baffles me bc my valkaloidp ass is always so ready to dissect and appreciate them #2-3rd fav unit they are so good i need the fandom to appreciate them more please #my ohshc manga hitachiin roots may be showing here but damn it a well-done codependency-breaking sibling arc will always get me #enstars #ensemble stars #ensemble stars music #enstars solos #2wink #hinata aoi #yuta aoi #yuuta aoi #raelyn rambles

[jokermoreau]

genuinely, I think i’m the happiest I have ever been lol. kinda want to cry about it. idk I just never thought i’d have something like this let alone with someone as great as my boyfriend is. kind of just thought real genuine love / a healthy relationship was something i’d never get to have because of how I look or who I am or what my background is like - i’d just be someone who always yearned and wanted that kind of thing but never get it. and yet here I am. like it’s legit happening to me and i’ve never felt more safe in my entire life . it’s not scary at all in any way and I just feel so overwhelmed with how comforting just being with him feels . what the fuck

#personal #tw emotional #idk I genuinely can’t believe we found each other lmao #I mean I can. but it’s like crazy how wonderful our bond and connection is and it goes both ways #throwback to our first date when I told my friend that I could see myself falling in love w him one day if things worked out #and here I am now . . . lmao #not ready to say it I guess but I feel it w every ounce of myself. #having someone irl. tangible and real. who you can actually build w is so …. wonderful….

[girlpetrarca]

he would have loved ibuprofen

#anywayy I'm preparing myself for the delusion that I'll experience on feb 14th #(the three musketeers part 2 comes out in the cinemas and I am not ready for it) #by reading and re reading some of my fave stuff about my guy so yeah this happened #personal #cardinal richelieu

[icejello]

I saw someone on TikTok say that renheng is bingqiu coded

And i was like "huh?? Really??" bcs i haven't played hsr in a WHILE due to storage problems

And i just saw posts about Dan Heng telling Jingyuan "I'm not him" from the recent update

And my mind went ".... qijiu?" For some reason

#svsss #hsr #honkai star rail #now i need SOMEONE to confirm to me #if renheng is really bingqiu coded #bcs i am full of curiosity and ready to jump into a fully immersed session of analyzing that ship #and i haven't played in a long while so i have no right to say anything about jingheng #but if by chance they really ARE qijiu coded i DESPERATELY need to know #bcs i need to break my owh heart #do i ship any of these ships? personally not really BUT i do love hurting myself with thoughts from my little analysis #oh wait might i add that it's qijiu but AFTER shen yuan transmigrates into shen qingqiu

[abstractlesbian]

Find someone slightly annoying but in really small harmless ways so I decide none of the behaviours are worth bringing up with them → realizing: hey, Im also annoying! solidarity! → realizing we have a lot in common and starting to bond → finding out other people find this person annoying and are vocal about it behind their back → finding out this person has ADHD like me that's (at least one reason) why we have all these traits in common → fear.

#trying to be as vague as possible even tho this is someone I know offline and no one involved follows me online #on one level I get it that relying someone who is forgetful and does things slower/differently than you can be frustrating #but like its a medical condition. and u dont need to know someones medical info to have some empathy instead of assuming malice/incompetence #i just found out they have adhd today but day one i was able to go 'wow i did not like the way they handled that but i dont think they were #being hurtful/careless we just handle this task differently. rhey didnt do anything wrong and i can let this go and adjust my expectations' #not to say im perfect and never ableist towards others. my first reaction to seeing traits i dislike in myself (from my disabilities) #in others is often to get annoyed and needing to adjust my thinking #i get annoyed with myself when I cant focus / cant be coherent or concise / cant finish tasks quickly etc #→ get annoyed sometimes when I see others doing that → realize thats not fair to them → realize thats not fair to myself #→ assume good intentions and find ways to communicate/collaborate better with them → get along better and maybe make a new friend! #sorry i am rambling #idk its scary seeing someone being disliked for adhd symptoms/traits that im mostly doing a good job of managing/hiding in this #social environment so far and knowing that could happen to me in the future #but im also like ready to have this persons back #me 🤝 them: prioritizing the wrong tasks and overexplaining things and struglging to get our points across #and not noticing when we talk too loud and forgetting tasks halfway thru etc #not to be that guy but : without love it canmot be seen!!!! #lifes so much better if u just assume ppl arent doing things a certain way to be annoying + let go of / adapt to the thing that are annoying #but not harmful #thats not exactly what without love it cant be seen means but thats one of the ways i apply it in life #just like dont assume malice. assume u dont have all the info. approach ppl/situations with empathy. #or youll make yourself more miserable needlessly #again like only for shit that's not harmful obv #i need to shut up and go to bed

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

leaving for college tomorrow... it doesn't feel real at all :')

#am I excited. idk. mostly I feel terrified and confused. #I got together with a friend the other night and he straight-up asked 'do you *want* to go to college??' and I was like '....yeah. I think. #I mean I need to go.' #and that's all I've got right now tbh. #it's going to be ok. I keep having people tell me that. people keep telling me that I'm going to be fine. #that I have a history of making good choices and I should stop second-guessing myself and everything around me. #but isn't that pride? to believe you'll make it out alright? shouldn't you always be a little bit afraid? #but I'm sick to death of being afraid. #I've wondered around in fear for ever it feels like. I'm ready to grow up and get out of it. #I'm ready to live in the real world. the question is how. #gurt says stuff #personal #college survival

[mossy-rot]

why does not eating make your brain like that. i'll spend the whole day thinking shit like no one would miss me if i was dead and then i have a little treat and suddenly i am a person again. why

#also side note had the realization that im like. a whole person #i was stlying my hair to go to work and was just like oh i have a job. i get up and get ready for it no help nothing just going like im rea #i might be a little disconnected from myself and my body in general #this might be a vent idk #lots of feelings and a refusal to let them escape #call me repression baby #i am feeling so shit i have gotten so little actual sleep i just kept getting woken up by shit over and over and over #when will it end #anywawy #mossy's rambles #text post #luci's rambles #mental health

[linguenuvolose]

I applied for a new job today 😩

#don't even know if I want to/feel ready to leave my current job #kinda not honestly #idk I had a lil breakdown a few weeks back and was like what if I did nothing for 6 months? #yeah I was fed up with the rigidness of my job and so jealous of the flexibility of my boyfriend's job #I feel bad leaving my job for me because it's such a perfect fit for my Italian studies #like I managed to find a job where my ''''useless'''' language studies actually are 100% crucial #and idk it just feels ungrateful to myself to leave? #nah idk I don't think I'm done with this job just yet #good thing I think I botched the personal statement of this application jesus #oh well we'll see #like I kinda don't want to get called for an interview so I don't have to mention it to my boss or think about it at all #ughh it's like I know I can get better than what I have but I also do kinda like this job #but also it's probably going to change a lot within this next year for different reasons so that's also something to consider #at least a colleague of mine told me people usually only stay in my post for 1.5-2 years so I feel a bit less bad about wanting to leave #but like where else in Sweden am I going to find a job where I can use Italian as my main working language? #I only see a phd as another option #idk maybe I should start ponder about that instead? #idk man #snicksnack