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#i couldnt believe what my eyes saw bc it was just too perfect
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I got caught shoplifting a few weeks ago so Im gonna have a court proceeding (? if thats what you call it in english idk) in a couple hours and Im a little bit nervous but the shit I stole was only worth 7€ and it was my first time getting caught so I dont think it'll be too big of a deal. Honestly Im just glad I didnt get caught while I was stealing ~85€ worth of acotar books, because my punishment would not only be wayyyy harsher it would also just be embarrassing, imagine stealing sjm books when theres so many good books you could steal from a bookstore
Anyway, speaking of acotar books, its livebloggin time. Last time, Feyre and Rhysand came to this cabin in the woods/inn in the middle of nowhere and stayed in a room thats so small that you couldnt even have sex in it and then they had sex. not penetrative sex, they just fingered each other. Which is to say Rhysand fingered her vagina and Feyre fingered his wings because god forbid a man be on the receiving end for anything other than a blowjob. Also, I guess Mor, Cassian and Azriel are somewhere else? I didnt wanna say anything about them being gone bc I just kinda assumed they were staying with Feysand but they seem to be gone. whatever I dont care about those guys anyway
Chapter 49
Feyres internal declarations of love and wanting to be with Rhys forever feel very shallow when you consider the fact that 1) theyve only had like 3 months worth of non-traumatic interactions with eachother, and 2) she thought the exact same way about Tamlin and then she DIED FOR HIM and then she left him after barely half a year
'"You know exactly that I would do anything for my people and my family."' 'Your people' consisting of one (1) city
Feyre's pussy feels slightly raw from getting fingered hours ago?? thats not a good sign.
'"I'm not gonna turn away from you. Not from you," I promised him quietly.' honestly, i can believe that, if you can fully forgive someone for physically torturing and sexually assaulting you after like a month or two you can forgive them anything, I have no idea why Rhys would be worried about that
can you imagine if Rhysand got shot with poisoned arrows and he just died right here. Life could be a dream but alas, I live in a nightmare world
I actually really like Feyre going feral over her love interest like this (even if that love interest is Rhys) I dont we're gonna get much more of that in this series so I shall savour it
Yeah, now that she mentions it, how come one ash arrow was enough to straight up kill Andras but Rhysand gets hit by like a dozen and hes just fine after this. I guess it could be that Feyre shot Andras in the eye so it was more lethal than Rhys getting shot in the back and wings but still, afaik there are no longterm consequences from this, like hes not even gonna have to deal with idk, his back hurting at certain points or something
Im not a fan of Feyre being so murderhappy now when she was reluctant to even kill animals at the start of this book, like at a certain point Im not so much bothered by Feyre's character being retconned from ACOTAR but her character from start of ACOMAF
Damn I didnt think the sex would be anything other than a pointless diversion, but here it is, being plot relevant
How come these guys have been torturing him by just stringing him up and leaving the arrows while they whip him, if I was an evil torturer and had just gotten my hands on a guy with wings Im sawing those badboys off immediately. or should i say batboys ahahahha.hahha
Oh, just a splinter of ashwood can he deadly but of course Rhysand is gonna be pretty much fine after being impaled with seven whole arrows
'"And Elain would love [Velaris], I'm sure of it. Although she would probably cling to Azriel the whole time, looking for safety."' smth about that line feels icky to me, I think its the fact that I dont think Elain actually properly interacted with Azriel at this point and also, Velaris is a perfect paradisical city what on earth would she need his protection for there
ughhhh all this bullshit with the dresser is so unbearably annoying
I guess I'll see how this all actually pans out next chapter, but right now I gotta say I dont like the fact that Rhysand's wounds just heal on their own, I couldve used some good whump with him. And Im not just saying that because I dont like him and Im a sadistic little bitch, even though both of those things are true, Im saying this because I think seeing him in a vulnerable position for an extended time would make me like him more
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mypoisonedvine · 3 years
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okay but here me out: you're a prostitute hired by laurie bc she found out that andy is cheating on her and needs proof for a divorce. when you see him, the payment is merely a bonus
wait i love this but i wanna modify it slighty: you’re a private investigator hired by laurie to seduce andy to prove he’s cheating!
this got so nasty so fast omg watch out for really dominating andy, with lots of dirty talk and a little bit of manipulation if you wanna read into it
“you don’t have to go through with it, obviously,” she explained, “you just need to get him to admit he’s done it before, and he’ll do it again.  on tape, with this.”
she set the audio recorder down in front of you, and you smiled sympathetically.
“don’t worry, ma’am, this isn’t my first time with a case like this.  I have my own equipment that’s less conspicuous and more reliable.  I could even catch him on film if you wanted.”
“you can do that?”
“yep, I have cameras that look like pens, buttons, rings, earrings, glasses...”
“well, video footage would be even better,” she explained, excited yet somber.  “I mean, it would make a better case in the divorce.  it would kill me to have to watch it, though...” she trailed off, scratching the back of her neck.
“is there any doubt in your mind he’s cheating on you?”
“only because I don’t want to believe it.  but it’s become to obvious to ignore,” she shook her head.
“I understand.  it’s hard to stomach that the people we care about most would hurt us like that.  but sadly it is all too common.  let’s just say that as a private investigator, this is a huge portion of what I do... and I get very steady work.  you’re not alone, laurie.”
“thank you,” she smiled weakly. “can you do it tonight?  I want this over with.”
“um, as long as it’s pretty late, I have other tasks this evening.”
“oh, late shouldn’t be a problem, he’s out until 4 or 5 in the morning these days.  this is the address of his work--” she set a piece of paper in front of you-- “just follow him to whatever bar he goes to from there and you shouldn’t have a problem.”
she’d shown you a photo, so you knew what to expect.  you had to come straight from your last assignment following somebody else around the city, so you weren’t dressed for the occasion at all.  to follow someone, you needed to dress plain and forgettable; to seduce someone, especially someone like andy barber, you needed to be extremely memorable.
you brought a change of clothes in your car, which you hastily slipped into in your back seat-- it required some acrobats to put tights on in the back of a small car like yours, but you managed to get through.
not just tights, but lingerie and garters.  sky high heels, a skintight dress that made you feel like your whole body was on display.  a motorcycle jacket and dark lipstick to give the whole look some edge.  basically, you’d tried to look as different from his wife as possible.  married men who were fucking around on the side always wanted something different, something fresh.  you knew how to do that.
plus, the jacket had the hidden camera attached to the lapel, nearly invisible among the snaps and buttons.
the echo of your heels on the concrete floor of the bar made every head turn.  it was quiet, and apparently a pretty slow night with only a few men scattered here and there-- the only other woman was the waitress.
andy was sitting at the bar, nursing a beer, and he gave you a quick glance before doing a double take.  you tried not to smile visibly. gotcha.
you sauntered up to the bar, leaning forward and making sure to arch your back just so, showing off your ass. “vodka cranberry?” you requested, smiling when the bartender nodded and started pouring grey goose into a glass.
you took a seat decently far away from andy, “adjusting” your jacket to turn the camera on.  you wanted to make sure you caught him coming up to you, starting the conversation, flirting first.  he looked over at you a few times but never said anything, making you start to get a little impatient, before finally the bartender arrived with a second drink.
“from the gentleman at the end of the bar,” he explained as he handed it to you.
“oh!” you smiled, “that’s so sweet!  you can tell him to come say hi if he wants.”
and it was just a few minutes before andy got up and leaned against the bar beside you, looking down at you with dark, half-lidded eyes.
“thanks for the drink,” you grinned coyly, letting your gaze drift a bit.  he was really good looking, honestly, and he looked all kinds of right in that suit, too.  if it weren’t a job, this might be the kind of guy you would actually flirt with of your own accord.  then again, you knew better than to go for a guy who had a tan line on his ring finger-- you hoped the camera was able to see that he’d taken his wedding band off.
“I’m here almost every night and I’ve never seen you before.”
“I’m from out of town,” you explained.
“business or pleasure?” he asked with a little smirk.
“I guess we’ll find out,” you winked.
it didn’t take much more flirting and a few more rounds of drinks for him to ask if you wanted to ‘get outta here,’ and with a giggle and a nod you let him guide you to his car with a hand on the small of your back. 
of course, you thought he was going to drive the both of you somewhere.  you didn’t expect him to push you up against it and kiss you roughly.
it was so sudden, and you knew you should stop him, but you somehow couldnt bring yourself to push him back, not when the way he was breathing heavily against you made your head spin, not when you could feel his beard and it was so hot for no good reason at all, not when his thick hands were grabbing you at your waist just tight enough to make you breathless.
“get in the back,” he instructed when he pulled back, making you blink up at him in shock.  you knew you had enough, you knew you should make an excuse and leave, get this footage uploaded from your mini cam and onto your laptop so you could get laurie what she needed...
but instead you found yourself biting your lip and nodding, letting him open the door for you and hopping in before he climbed on top of you, shutting and locking the door.
“we can go back to my place,” you offered as he started to suck on your neck, pulling you closer.  
“cant wait that long,” he mumbled quickly before helping you push your jacket off.
and you could tell that the way he tossed it onto the floor made the camera perfectly angled to see what he was doing to you.  maybe it was the perfect evidence for laurie’s case.  maybe it was about to tape you in your most intimate state with no way for you to stop it.
certainly there was no way you could stop when he manhandled you onto your hands and knees, pushing your dress up to find your black lace panties, and the garters holding up your tights.
“fuck, look at you... that’s why you came out tonight, then?  to get fucked?”
you nodded a little, gasping when he slapped your ass.
“little whore.”
you didn’t think you’d like being talked to like that, but it made your pussy throb beneath the lingerie that barely covered it.
just when you thought he was going to give it some attention, he flipped you around again and pulled you into his lap. 
“get on the floor, on your knees, and suck my cock.”
how was he so comfortable telling you what to do?  better yet, why were you doing it?
you slipped down, barely finding enough room with your massive heels in the way, and started to palm at his cock through his suit trousers, moaning absent-mindedly when you felt the thick, hard, hot length hidden beneath.   your mouth was already watering.
you started on his belt, looking up at him occasionally to find him watching you with a cold, unyielding stare.  when you reached inside his boxers and pulled it out, he smiled at your little gasp.
“bigger than you expected?” he taunted.  you were speechless, only able to nod in response before he put a hand on your hair-- not exactly forcing you forward, but definitely encouraging you to go ahead and put it in your mouth.
“fuuuck,” he groaned with you licked the head and finally closed your lips around it, suckling gently as your eyes fluttered shut.  “no no,” he correctly instantly, “look up at me with those pretty eyes, sweetheart.  take it deeper.”
you moaned around him but obeyed, using your hand to stroke the portion you couldn’t fit in your mouth (which was more than half).  you started to back away when you choked a little, but he pushed you back down and moaned a little louder, “I like it when you gag,” he explained gruffly, smiling when you looked up at him again, your eyes watering this time.  “god, you look so good like this.”
he pulled you off by your hair while you took in a gasping breath, gripping his cock at the base and slapping you lightly on the face with it a few times.  when you put your chin by his balls, the head hit you on the forehead... it made your gut burn as you tried to imagine how that would possibly fit in you without breaking something important.
when he pulled you back onto him, bucking up into your throat as you choked and gasped for air, you felt need tingling up your spine from seeing him like this.  he was completely in control and yet looked totally wrecked as he fucked your face.  it made you so wet you couldn't stand it.
just when you thought he might come, he stopped suddenly and lifted you up onto his lap, pulling your dress down to admire your completely impractical bra.
he grinned when he saw your nipples were already hard, reaching up to tweak them gently until your hips rocked on top of him of their own accord.
“you like having your tits played with, sweetheart?”
“I like when you do it,” you blurted out.
“sweet young thing like you, you’ve probably never even been with somebody who knows what they’re doing.”
it’s not like you hadn’t had some adept partners in the past, but none of them were like this. nobody had ever made you this desperate.
“please fuck me, andy,” you whimpered.
“not yet,” he growled, ripping your bra and tossing it aside.
“that was expens--” you started to protest, but it fell into a moan as he latched his lips onto an exposed nipple, sucking and licking eagerly.
“f-fuck!” you stammered, gripping his jacket tightly as you tried to stop yourself from humping his leg out of desperation
but he wanted you to-- he grabbed your hips and pulled you down, guiding you to rub yourself on his thigh.
“go ahead, pretty girl, show me how bad you want it.”
you were pretty confident that even through your panties, you were going to leave a stain on his trousers. 
you could even feel his cock on the inside of your thigh, hot and still slick with your spit, so hard you wondered why he wouldn't just put it in you already.
“please please please, need it so bad,” you whined, “I'm so wet for you, baby, I'm so fucking ready....”
“I know,” he whispered, pulling you closer to put his lips right beside your ear.  “I know, baby, I can feel it.  I can smell it.  you smell so fuckin sweet...”
you whimpered and your head fell back, pleasure shooting up through your body in jolts as you rubbed your swollen clit on his thick thigh.
“want me to fuck you?  I’ll fuck you, babydoll.  hard and rough just how you need it.”
“yes,” you sobbed.
“I’ll give it to you so good you won’t be able to walk straight tomorrow, won’t be able to sit right cause I tore that pretty little pussy up.”
you gasped but you wanted it, god you wanted it so fucking bad you couldn’t even remember that this was supposed to be a job, not a hook-up.  but you didn’t care.  
“please baby, I’ll do anything just fuck me, please--” you cried, cut off by him grabbing you and pushing you onto your knees again, slapping your ass one more time before pulling your panties aside.
“god, you’re soaked,” he chuckled condescendingly. “you’re so sensitive, honey.  I bet you’ll go crazy if I touch you here,” he proposed, rubbing his thumb over your clit and making you jolt forward from the intensity of it.  
he leaned down to wrap his body over yours, holding you close with one arm around your neck as he whispered in your ear, turning your face slightly with a hand on your jaw.
“look into the camera while I put it in you, baby...”
you weren’t sure if it was realizing you’d been caught, or the feeling of him pushing into you that made your eyes water, but a tear fell down your cheek as he buried himself into you with a groan.  it was just the right type of pain; with how wet you were, even a cock as massive as his slid into you easily.  but it felt like you’d never been stretched so wide and you didn’t even know what to do with yourself as he pulled back and slammed into you.
“I never told you my name,” he reminded you, “but you knew it anyways.  and with what I do for a living, I can smell a p.i. from a mile away.  you’re not as slick as you think, sweetheart-- well, proverbially slick... cause literally, this pussy is so fucking wet for me.” 
you could only gasp and sigh as he pumped into you faster and deeper, reaching parts of you that had never been touched before, let alone ravaged like this.  you could feel his smile against your ear as he started to fuck you faster, his free hand palming at your breasts before reaching back to hold your hips steady.
“god, you’re so fucking tight... anybody ever fucked you this good, honey?  anybody ever taken you like the needy little slut you are?”
he bit down on your ear and you realized he wanted an answer.
“n-no,” you replied, “never.  nobody’s ever fucked me like this, andy.”
“anybody ever fucked you on camera before?”
you swallowed dryly. “no.”
“was it all an act, then?  all part of the job?  I don’t buy it.  I think this is who you really are, a desperate little slut who needs to be stuffed full of cock by somebody who can give you everything you need.”
his filthy monologue fell on deaf ears as you tried with all your might to look away from the camera on your jacket, knowing that you had totally blown your case as well as presumably destroying your reputation.  fucking a married man is one thing, fucking a married man whose wife is your client who hired to prove he was cheating?  maybe you could spin it as doing your job a little too well?
“I can tell you’re close, sweetheart, go ahead and come for me.  I wanna feel this pretty pussy squeeze me, milk my fuckin cock when you come.”
mainly you were just trying not to get too loud, afraid that the car wouldn’t be enough to muffle your noises in case somebody walked through the mostly empty parking lot.
“andy!” you yelped when you reached your peak, not really meaning to but it came out anyways, he chuckled a little, the sound morphing into a growl as you clenched down around him with each wave of pleasure washing over you.
“fuck, don’t fuckin stop, this pussy feels so good I think I’m gonna come inside...”
you were too out of it to protest; you would’ve gone limp and fallen down onto your chest if he hadn’t held you up, his cock flexing against your overstimulated walls as he painted your insides with his come.
he grinned as he stilled his movements, catching his breath for a moment before sitting up and pulling out, slipping your panties back on to keep his come inside for a bit longer.
it was all a blur as he helped you half-redress before he all but shoved you out of the car, stuffing his cock back into his pants before getting into the driver’s seat and starting the engine.
“tell my wife I said ‘hi’,” he winked at you as he drove off, leaving you with wobbly legs balancing on your heels while his come leaking down your thighs.
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heyitsyn · 4 years
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Manager!Seijoh Part 2
a/n: lmao this is kinda weird for me but i think this was an interesting request so lets try it!
for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!
lowkey kyotani kentaro typa beat but you gotta squint (??)
also warning! angst!
anon request: Hii! I just read the seijoh manager headcannon you wrote, it made me cry so much, i love those seijoh boys so much, and you are such an amazing writer! I dont know if requests are open or not but i was wondering what would happen if the boys ever find out what happened to reader cha? If requests aren’t open or if you just don’t want to write about it, I completely understand! Thank you for your wonderful writing again! Stay safe!
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the stageplay was *chefs kiss* like MY MANS IWA WAS SERVING LOOKSSSS
soooooo
this might get really angsty idk so just a warning in advance
anyways
i mentioned in the earlier part that no one really knew what happened to you
so this one is when they DO find out what happened and what theyre gonna do about it
so first off, kyoken was basically the only one who saw you that day and saw how badly you looked
the thing is, at that current moment, he didnt really know the reason why and what happened
he had theories that you got jumped or you just got into an accident 
but he was prettttttyyyy sure you got beat up
so you went home and rushed to yanno, take a shower and get your wound treated and cleaned so that it would heal bc you really cannot afford to let the boys see that
they would think of the worst at the smallest sight of blood on you and you really didnt want to deal w that chaos at the moment
you cant let them get suspended from school since they were going to interhigh soon and you cant let oikawa and the boys ruin their reputations just for you
a first year girl theyve just met
it was kinda hard to rinse all of the milk from your hair but you were able to at least get the smell out and clean up your mess
then you looked in the mirror and saw faint handprints around your throat from that girl miyo and you cringed as you touched it
‘jesus christ, seriously what does she eat? bricks?’
after your clothes were in the wash, you went to bed to get homework done and also looking up how to use the concealer to hide your bruises 
you didnt really own any makeup but your mom has some so you could just use that
during dinner, you wore a turtleneck to prevent any suspicion from happening but you couldnt really hide the big gash on your face
‘y/n, what happened!’
‘i was dumb and accidentally fell up the stairs’
your parents shared a chuckle bc theyve actually seen you do this before so it was easy to believe the lie
‘darling, do we need to get you glasses? it seems your sight has worsened’
‘haha’
you went along with the joke but you weren’t eating and just pushed your food around
‘y/n? is the food not good?’
your mother asked but you shook your head with a convincing smile
‘its good! i just had some meat buns with the team earlier and i ate a lot so im still full’
you cursed at yourself for making it sound so rehearsed but you were relieved when your mother nodded
the next morning, you were satisfied with the reduced puffing of your face and you snuck into your parents bathroom where her makeup bag would be
as you held up the concealer, you started getting anxious because this was not the same shade as your skin and it would definitely raise suspicion if you had a different color on your neck than the rest of your body
you already planned to blame your wound as acne that you accidentally scratched but what were you going to do with the handprints?
the website you read said that it would take at least a day for them to fade
so you decided youd just wear a scarf and pretend you were cold
kunimi was confused as to why you had a scarf bundled around your neck and his eyes even widened at the sight of the bandaid on your face
‘y/n! what-!’
he shot up from his seat and your eyes widened before hissing at him to sit down
‘what happened to you?!’
he worriedly asked but you waved him off with a small smile
‘acne. this was the only available bandaid in my house so i had to work with this’
kunimi might be a lazy little shit but he was observant
and he noticed the way you said that sentence
it was like a robot
like a robot programmed to say what was written on its script
but before he could press on further, you already pointed out that the teacher was coming in and to hush so you could listen
the entire time, kunimi was awake alright, but he was too busy looking at you and a bright red thing that poked from the edge of your bandaid
kindaichi went to your classroom for lunch and you had to repeat your excuse for him but he pointed at another thing
‘why are you wearing a scarf? its like burning in here’
you didnt look at him as you just opened your bento
‘being in your period causes your temperature to fluctuate and cause unexplainable chill at even the hottest places’
okay what
they both shared a look and just shrugged, blaming it on your time of the month for the way you spoke with no emotion in your tone
this had to be the longest school day of your life
the whole time the scarf remained on and kunimi cant help but notice your flinches at the smallest of sounds
finally practice arrived and you really thought you could pull this off until oikawa barreled straight towards you and hugged you tightly
‘y/n-chan! you okay?! oikawa-senpai was so worried for you!’ 
you cringed but nodded
‘im okay, oikawa-san’
‘senpai, y/n-chan! call me senpai!’
‘im not going to feed into your kink, oikawa-san’
*cue everyone busting a lung*
‘y/n, what’s the-’
‘acne. only bandaid available in my house’
eventually, everything was fine
you were still cracking jokes w the others and you were still laughing w them so kunimi and kindaichi were at ease
but that shattered when oikawa was being oikawa and was being all touchy and bothering you about the scarf around your neck that he ended up pulling it off and he saw the marks
he was silent, just staring at them
ofc you were freaking out and you started breathing heavily
oh god he found out and he was going to hurt them
‘o-oikawa-senpai, listen, it’s not what it-’
‘y/n’
his voice made your eyes shut in fear and the others crowded around you and they all had scandalized looks on their faces
‘is this why you werent in practice yesterday?’
his voice was sharp, a complete opposite to his normally cheerful tone
you shivered and sighed
‘senpai, please dont-’
‘who is it?’
the other third years shared a look bc they were truly shook at oiks voice
‘w-why should i tell you?! its none-’
‘i am your captain and i deserve to know who is pulling you away from your managerial duties so he could just give you these damn hickeys!’
the gym turned silent
you stopped then furrowed your eyebrows
‘hickey? what-’
‘dont act like you dont know, y/n. so just be honest and tell me who’s your boyfriend’
lmao i shouldnt laugh bc this was supposed to be sad but im cackling at how dumb oikawa really is sometimes
‘i-i,,,,’
you stuttered but you knew this was the perfect opportunity
you could just blame it on this ridiculous misunderstanding 
its a difficult hole to get out of but it would be easier than the other
so you pretended to be flustered and turned around to hide your face
‘it was a one-time thing, oikawa-san. i promise it wont happen again’
HELLO WHAT
the team was leaking the feeling of RAGE
how dare someone take their manager!
she was theirs!
and it doesnt help that every player might have a little thing for you
is this really turning into a harem
oikawa kept demanding answers but iwa hit him enough to quit and they finally went back to practicing but they were still distracted
every time they looked at you, they would grow flustered and red and end up missing a block or a serve
they just cant see their baby manager like that
you noticed it quickly and irritably got on them
‘stop staring at my neck and get back to practice!’
they flinched and saluted at you
lmao this little first year girl is able to control nearly a dozen <5′10 men who are all older than her
but you were glad that they finally stopped asking about it
this was going to go by smoothly and you were going to be okay
however,,,
several days later,,,
this is an angst fanfiction so i will bring thy angst
you were taking out your class garbage since it was your group’s turn in cleaning the classroom when you were grabbed by the arm on your way back
it was still outside and after school so it wouldve been an unlikely situation that someone would help you
it was that biatch miyo again and her 2 minions behind her
then you recognized one girl from the track team who was actually a year older than you but you saw her dropping off some files in the office
if you tried to run, she could easily grab you w her fast legs
great
you were stuck
you let out a tired sigh and crossed your arms on your chest
‘what is it you want from me, again?’
she smirked
‘you really dont know how to listen, do you? i told you to stay away from oikawa but youre still flaunting around with him!’
is she serious?
this girl was borderline stalker/yandere type of girl
you gave her an incredulous look and frowned
‘girl, do you hear yourself? you damn crazy and im leaving’
but she grabbed you back and shoved you against the wall
but this time, you kicked her on the chest to make her fall on her flat booty
surprise was written on their faces and you stretched your arms in front of you to symbolize distance
‘one more step and ill beat tf out of you. i just got my nails off so id watch it if i were you’
miyo huffed and stood up, brushing herself, glaring at one of the girls who tried to help her
then she remembered what you told her
‘hmm? if you hit me, you could be kicked off of the team since you hurt another student. so, go ahead, little kouhai’
she was right
even if it was self-defense, the school’s disciplinary section sucked and just suspended or kicked off people left and right even though they didnt do anything wrong
you were stumped
you were here on a scholarship, not on tuition
your mom would KILL you if she found out you got into a fight and got a record
but you didnt show that and kept your tough facade
‘dont challenge me. i could be a crazy bitch and i dont think youd like your little face being all messed up. so watch your mouth and leave me alone’
you turned to leave but she grabbed your hair and tugged it back
lmao flashbacks to the other part
she twisted your hair into a ponytail and had a firm grip while a girl kicked you behind your knees so you would fall to the ground
oh no you were done w this
you elbowed miyo on the stomach the hardest you could and she groaned which loosened her hold and you kicked her again to the ground
some other girl hit your side and you winced before slapping her straight across the face bc you didnt want to punch her and hurt your knuckles
but they were really testing you
the last girl still had your hair but you twisted around to face her and just did the last you could think of that would hurt
hit her right between her legs
you finally escaped their hold and miyo lunged after you
‘oh my god leave me alone!’
you yelled before holding up your arms to protect your face but she scratched your arms 
obviously you were losing this bc it was just you but you were going to fight as much as you can
‘bad kouhais need to be punished! your senpais need to teach you a lesson!’
miyo screeched and you grabbed her arm before punching her straight at the boob
sorry rebecca
however, one girl was smart and did the same thing you did to her knees and made you fall to a kneeling position and eventually made you curl into a fetal position
gurl we actually fighting so hard considering we’ve never been in a fight
they continuously kicked you before miyo pulled up your head so you could sit up and kneel in front of her
ofc you tried to grab at her and punch at her
but these other girls were able to catch you and trap your arms in their hold and had their feet on your legs so you couldnt kick
great, another bathroom scene
your arms were bleeding from miyo’s scratches and your sides were hurting after their kicks
you lost and you were already bleeding in places you didnt think you would
this would be the last attempt and if he doesnt come, you’re done for
‘IIIIIIWWWWWAAAAAAAA-SAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!’
your scream echoed throughout the entire are
possibly could be heard in new york
and your voice became hoarse
ofc the girls were surprised and caught off guard but when there was silence and clear that no one was coming, they started laughing
‘oh, so cute! iwa-san? is that supposed to be iwaizumi-san? heh, you whoring around w him too? thats so cute-’
‘LET. GO. OF. HER. NOW.’
I GOT CHILLS
the girls holding you shrieked and dropped their hold on you before scrambling back causing you to drop to the ground
miyo’s eyes were wide and there was horror all over her face at the voice of that infamous boy
kyotani kentarou
‘WHAT THE FK ARE YOU DOING?!’
he yelled and miyo turned around to be met with his piercing eyes before screaming and running away with her minions in tow
‘YEA RUN AWAY! FKING COWARDS!’
ltr the cursing is so awkward for me to do but this is his character and im just so awkward so sorry!!
you coughed and winced at the pain on your side which caught his attention
again, he noticed you as the manager of their team and you’ve been hanging out w him, well, just him staring at you, at the alley while you feed the animals
you were actually nice and caring and definitely didnt deserve this
‘oi, y-you okay?’
you didnt look up, just closing your eyes in pain and biting your lips to not let out the crying
his eyes softened at you and he noticed you were trying to act tough and brave even though you just got beat up
normally, he wouldnt even help anyone but it seems you just did something to him
he sighed before gently picking you up, you not even bothering to stop him, and he held you tightlyin his arms as he carried you to the nurses office
he had a feeling you didnt want to be seen like this and hes been in the nurse enough to know she actually leaves the moment school ends
you let out a shaky breath as he set you down on the cot and you opened your eyes to reach your hold for him when he went away
‘n-no, don’t leave-’
but he grunted softly before holding your wrist
‘im just getting your damn medicine. chill out’
lowkey getting bakugou vibes
you nodded and went to close your eyes again
kyo returned w some pain relief medicine from his bag that he carries 
babie actually gets into fights often and he needs it sometimes
and he had alcohol medicine kind istg and bandaids for your arms
it was silent as you drank the pills and he sat down next to you so he could treat the wounds
but he let his curiosity take over him
‘why the fk did you let them do this to you’
he grunted and you scoffed with a smile
‘let? more like overpower me and grip me as they just hit me’
‘cant you fight them back?’
you glared at him
‘bruh i literally kneed some girl in their cooch but they just some superhuman typa girls that cant be hurt’
he sighed
‘maybe you just werent strong enough’
okay listen here you lil shit
you didnt want to listen to him scold you anymore so you just went back to closing your eyes
but kyo is actually lowkey nosy so he kept asking questions
‘the first time we met. was it her too?’
you flinched in surprise
‘you remembered that?’
‘ofc i did. you looked like shit. not as bad as this but still like shit’
‘gee thanks, stranger-kun’
‘kyotani,,, kentarou’
you smiled
‘nice to meet you, kyotani kentarou. im l/n y/n’
‘i know’
he mumbled but you didnt catch it
‘thanks for hearing me and coming to help’
he hummed
he wasnt going to tell you that he actually heard the scream for his idol and thought hed be there so he ran to go see him but instead saw you
kyo just respects and looks up to iwa-chan so much it warms my heart uwu-
once you were all patched up, you were finally able to stand but you still staggered
he grabbed your arm softly and sat you back down
‘what the hell are you going to tell the team?’
you paused then sighed
‘i dont know. ill figure something out’
but he knew how observant the players would be and they would catch on
after all, he was there watching at the top bleachers as oikawa yelled at you for the ‘hickey’
‘if they didnt hit your face, you could get away with it. but you have wounds all over you and theyd find out. im guessing youre doing this bc you dont want to trouble them or burden them? bc they would do something about it?’
you just stared at this guy
‘how-’
‘just a guess’
he also wasnt going to tell you that he was actually part of the team but the constant fighting got him in suspension
and the fact that his parents were donors for the school, he only got a tap on the wrist
‘so what do i do, then?’
‘tell them-’
‘no i cant do that! another plan, kyo-kun!’
‘oi, im a second year, idiot. treat me with respect’
the irony bc he totally treats oikawa like trash
‘i just,,,, oikawa-san is seen as this prince/gentleman type and i know how protective he is towards me so the slightest problem could cause him to be ballistic. miyo is popular enough to circulate rumors about him and hes already in his third year and she is too so i just have to endure one year until theyre gone’
kyo was disgusted
all this for that stupid idiot captain?
‘youre dumber than i thought’
you weakly hit him at the arm
‘so mean, kyo-san’
‘i dont think its right youre suffering for someone who isnt even worth it’
you glared and linked your fingers together
‘im the manager. i knew this would happen the moment i signed up but i didnt care. as manager, i have to keep up the team’s image and their popularity for support so i cant let all that be ruined just bc a little first year girl couldnt fight for herself’
‘just tell them, kid. less problems’
then he stood up to leave
‘kid?! im only a year younger than you! what you mean!’
but you were panicking
someone knew about you being hurt and they could easily tell the team
and it only increased when he entered the gym and later introduced himself as a player
you were so surprised that you stopped breathing
‘kyo-san,,,’ 
you muttered and he glared at you
well, more like look at you but i have a theory that kyo actually has problems w his sight so it looks like he’s glaring at you constantly but hes just actually trying to see clearly
‘yo’
oikawa was surprised at this interaction
‘eh? you know kyoken-chan?’
you nodded, still looking at the blonde
‘i-uh’
‘its none of your business’
kyotani grunted and you sighed in relief
maybe your secret would be safe
you were still uneasy about him accidentally revealing it, especially since he practically worships iwaizumi-san, but he kept his mouth shut
your caring personality at first was overbearing on him but he appreciated your efforts like volunteering on helping him with his eyeliner or asking him if he needed help with his medical tape
ngl, he also thought you were there just bc it was a team full of guys and you thought you could have that weird girl fantasy of having a harem
but you cared for them like practically a mother and continuously made it clear to oikawa that you were NOT interested in going on a date with him
you werent annoying, you were nice, and you weren’t pushy so he actually showed you respect and took a liking to you
this created a soft of protectiveness around you
sometimes, he would see you around school and he would practically glare at the girls he knew hated you
and when he wasnt there to protect you, you would call him to the nurses office where he would mumble apologies of not being there while patching you up before he would go over and threaten them to touch you again and he would bite their fingers off
aww hes so cute
ofc he still kept your secret bc it wasnt his business to tell 
until that one day
it was normal practice with you helping the boys toss the balls so they could spike it
iwaizumi spiked it really hard making you flinch and he apologized profusely after you almost fell off the chair you were standing on in surprise
‘im just angry that that damn shittykawa is the captain and is late to his own damn practice’
oikawa? late?
that was unheard of
you were about to get off the chair and look for him when the devil himself entered the gym with the devil’s mistress on his arm
miyo was holding on to his arm as he laughed at something she said and ruffled her hair
you dropped the ball and kyotani quickly moved to you so he could stand in front of you protectively
‘oi! shittykawa! youre late!’
oikawa just smiled and pointed at the girl
‘miyo-chan made us cookies, iwa-chan!’
at the mention of food, the boys ran forward but you and kyotani remained at the side at the infamous name
you got off the chair and hurriedly placed an arm in front of him
‘don’t, kyo-san’
‘the bitch-’
‘i know. but please, dont’
you begged and he huffed before aggresively wrapping an arm around your shoulder
aggressively cares for you
‘if she does something or even talks shit, i will-’
‘kyoken-chan! y/n-chan! come here!’
oikawa called but kyotani snarled at him
you smile wobbled when miyo’s eyes narrowed at you and she smirked
‘oh? your manager is so cute, oikawa-kun!’
the rest of the team was just blinking at this weird tension
kyo had his arm tightly around you and hatingly glaring at this girl, who was icily smirking at you, and you tightly holding kyo’s shirt with a worried glint in your eyes
‘you were late to your own damn practice, oikawa. stop wasting time eating this shit and go back to playing’
tbh it still shocks you at how rudely kyo talks to oikawa but you were too pre-occupied on making sure this kid wasnt going to lunge at this girl
‘a-ah, right. oikawa-san, we have to return to practice. if you excuse us, miyo-san-’
you were about to gently grab oikawa’s arm to bring him back when she grabbed your wrist and secretly gripped it
‘oh, dont be so uptight, y/n-chan! i worked so hard-’
but kyo immediately snatched her hand away from you and squeezed it as tight as he could, making her wince
oikawa noticed the pain in miyo’s face and he was angry that kyotani was hurting a girl
‘oi! kyotani!’
he shouted and pushed him away, making the team, even iwa, worriedly look at kyo and brace themselves for the beating
iwa jumped into action and held the second year back while you jumped in front of oikawa
‘kyo-san, calm-’
‘you! be quiet’
he shouted, finger pointing at you
‘and you!’
before pointing to oikawa
‘you are a shitty captain’
‘kyotani!’
iwa was just straight out confused and hes really questioning life decisions right now
mom is stressed and confused, i repeat, MOM IS STRESSED AND CONFUSED
oikawa’s eyes narrowed but he just calmly talked
‘we’ll talk about this later’
‘miyo-san, we really need to practice so if you could see yourself out’
iwa gently smiled to the girl, who was about to protest, but makki and mattsun has already pointed to the door
she huffed then turned to leave and once she was gone, iwa let go of kyotani
‘kyotani, what the hell was that’
oikawa lowly asked and you were about to put your arms out to separate them but yahaba and watari grabbed you so you wouldnt be caught in the middle
then kyo turned to you, fire in his eyes
‘either you tell him or i will’
can we just talk about how protective kyo is?
you trembled and you roughly left yahaba and watari’s grip so you could gently place your hands on his chest
‘please, kyo. just leave it, okay? remember, it’s my busi-’
‘if i see that bitch enter this gym again, i dont give a flying fuck if shes a girl. ill beat the living daylights out of her’
‘kyotani kentarou, what-!’
oikawa shouted but your glare shut him up
‘y/n-chan, what is going on’
‘n-nothing. kyo-san is just, yknow, being him. you know? okay. now lets get back to practice, everyone!’
coach irihata and the other guy sharing that look
to say the least, miyo was pissed
and when she was pissed at you, she always did what she normally does
she corners you wherever its deserted and beat you with the help of her minions who holds you down while she slaps, hits, or kicks you
girlie you needs to tell the boys youre literally getting hit and abused and im just-!!!!!!!!!
and thats exactly what she did
only this time, she wore hard-tipped shoes
‘see, y/n-chan? i saved up and got these shoes just for you!’
the minions were just sharing looks of fear and genuine sympathy for you
they were only there bc she blackmailed them with pictures doing questionable things and if they dont help, they would be released
as usual, you didnt cry, biting your lip as you winced from the pain of her kick at your side
‘youre so pathetic. how could you do this to a person? and all this for your oikawa-san? for a boy?’
you wheezed at her causing her eyes to flare
‘HAH?! SAY THAT AGAIN!’
‘i said-’
but you were cut off when she slapped the soul out of you
her ring cut you at the lip and you cringed at the taste of blood from your lip
‘what else? we gotta hurry this up, miyo, because practice started like 5 minutes ago and im going to get yel-’
‘SHUT UP!’
kyotani entered the gym after his talk with his teacher and immediately looked around for you
his honey brown eyes scanned the area and they widened as your figure wasn’t in sight
‘oi, yahaba, wheres the manager’
the boy shrugged from the side 
‘i dont know. shes late though’
oh god
‘kindaichi! kunimi! youre in the same grade right? did you see where she went after class?’
kunimi paused to remember before answering
‘she stayed after to talk to obe-sensei for the homework, that’s all i know’
that meant she stayed behind and was probably somewhere
‘SHIT!’
he shouted before bolting out the door
ofc the boys were all worried of his outburst and started yelling after him
‘kyotani!’
‘kyoken-chan?!’
they followed him, who was running as fast as he can
the girls would probably do it outside to avoid having to clean up their mess and he almost wrenched the door open in a hurry to take a lap around the school building
it was certainly a sight to see: a boy with dyed blonde hair and two brown lines followed after an entire volleyball team who were screaming after him
‘YOU-!’
he heard that bitch voice and bolted towards the back, where the dumpster was, and found you at the same position like the first time he saw you
blood was dripping on the floor from your busted lip and a cut on your cheek while your eyes were wide at the sight of kyotani’s panting form
‘kyo-!’
‘kyotani!’
your eyes watered at the sight of the entire volleyball team behind him, also eviqualiently surprised yet fuming angry
the girls who held you dropped your arms and ran for the hills so they wouldnt get caught
kyo pushed miyo aside as he grabbed you from the floor and held you
oikawa gave miyo a look that cannot even be described in words
all it was: incredibly, super, ridiculously, heatedly, furiously, angry
now multiply that by the entire team
‘hm, my father, who is the chieftain of the police, mentioned about there being jail time for even minors who commit serious acts like assault or bullying’
mattsun seethed
‘really? i think he’d like the video as evidence against kenta miyo for assault and battery, including bullying, so how many years would that add up to? nearly a decade?’
the girl miyo squeaked as oikawa and iwaizumi roughly grabbed each wrist
‘how long’
miyo trembled at the increased pressure on her wrist
‘IM ASKING YOU A FUCKING QUESTION! HOW LONG!’
iwaizumi has never shouted at a girl before and hopefully, it would be the last
‘s-s-since l-last month’
you burrowed your head in kyotani’s shirt
‘please dont’
‘shut the fk up, y/n-chan, we’re not talking to you right now’
oikawa coldly reprimanded
‘everyone, take y/n away. iwaizumi and i can take care of this. but mattsun, makki, track down those 3 girls and find others who have even touched our manager’
‘got it, boss’
if it was in a different situation, you wouldve applauded oikawa at his ability to be a leader but you were currently in pain from the bruises and the cuts all over you
your fellow first-years were angrily punching things in the nurse’s office
rip nurse in the morning when she finds holes all over her walls
the irony is, the most agressive one, kyotani kentarou, was the calmest as he quietly cleaned your wounds and placed ointment on the bruises
‘i told you so’
he mumbled and you scoffed
‘howd you find me anyways?’
‘dumb bitch yaps really loud’
he answered
no one was yelling at you and no one was saying a word
eventually, oikawa and iwaizumi entered followed by the rest of the third years
‘why. why didnt you tell us, y/n?’
oikawa asked as he sat down on the chair beside the bed
you looked down and fiddled with your fingers
‘if i did, you wouldve hurt her. and she wouldve spread rumors about you and ruin the image and reputation of the grand king and the volleyball team. i didnt want to do that to you and thought i could just endure it one year since youre graduating anyways’
iwaizumi sucked in a harsh breath
‘you wouldn’t have known what we were going to do. you are no oracle and you dont know how we are going to handle this situation. so you were really stupid for keeping these things to yourself, y/n. you may be our manager and our caretaker but let us take care of you too’
you nodded but your tears fell
‘sorry. im really sorry. i didnt meant to trouble you’
‘stop apologizing, y/n’
‘sorry’
‘y/n!’
you bowed your head low and bit your lip in guilt
‘i shouldve told you but i didnt and now everyone is troubled-’
‘we’re a team, y/n. youre not a lone wolf anymore. you have a pack standing right beside you’
watari mumbled and he sat down to give you his favorite hug: the one arm hug
‘im super angry right now and it might seem like im snappy but i really want you to know, y/n, that i really love you and i am just hurt that you didnt trust us enough to tell us you were suffering when i trust you with my entire being. so next time youre hurting or in pain, dont you dare keep it to yourself. tell us, okay? tell your senpais and friends about it so we can share that burden’
oikawa babie you are so mature like what-
what started out as a hug from watari turned into a team hug around the tiny bed, even kyo joined, and you were so happy you found a good team that appreciated you and everything youve done and accepted you as one of their own
‘oikawa-san, what did you do to miyo?’
‘again, im mad y/n-chan, so please dont talk about her right now’
‘iwa-san?’
‘dont use those puppy eyes on me! dont you dare-- okay, we’re pressing charges’
silence
‘WHAT?!’
‘and iwa-chan slapped her!’
‘WHAT?!’
‘shut up shittykawa you did too!’
‘WHAT?!’
a/n: this hurted a bit and im sorry if this was lowkey awkward and all over the place but i didnt exactly know how to portray this situation since ive never experienced this, just bullying in general, before but for those who have, please tell someone so that you dont have to carry that burden by yourself. it doesnt have to be a your parents, but talk to a trusted adult so that this type of stuff doesnt happen to you bc you truly dont deserve that type of treatment and deserve to be happy and feel safe in an environment like school or anywhere in general
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Note
Hiya!! Caroline Forbes for the character game, if you would be so inclined.
I am so so sorry I'm so late to this ask, but I'm hoping better late than never :) [like seriously I’m answering this a month late I am sooooo sorry!!]
First impression
My first impression of Caroline was during that scene at the grill, when she was drunk and like "I try so hard and nobody goes for me, nobody wants me, everything is a competition and I try so hard and NEVER win" to bonnie, and honestly calling myself out here, but I hated her in that moment simply bc I could see wayyyyy too much of myself in her, and I felt sort of vulnerable seeing such a blatant reflection of my deepest insecurities just sitting there in front of my eyes, but at that moment I wasnt looking to self reflect or read into it too deeply [I was there for mindless cheap entertainment] so my first basic impression I believe was to absolutely scoff at her, and I was like, I already dont like this chick, but also I was expecting her to be sort of a watered down regina george character, bc that's how they introduced her in terms of how she behaves w elena, she was supposed to be the shallow passive aggressive vapid bitch who's friendship is performative at best and toxic at worst, the way she treats Bonnie as a convenient sound board and replaceable company did not go unnoticed by me, these parts I can say I did not relate to, however I saw them for what they are, which is the makings of a headbitch mean girl who's imminent “untimely” death will not be mourned so much as alluded to constantly as a warning call and/or a cautionary tale for all the nameless dangers that are lurking in their godforsaken town, basically I expected her to die as a plot-pusher and then her death + the aftermath would've served as a convenient point of mild conflict between stelena to you know add to the "forbideness" of their relationship, so at this point all my first impressions were exactly what the writer's intended and honestly I was just waiting for her to die since it was clearly just a matter of time before that happened, but at the same time, I might not have been completely aware of this during that period of time, but the grill scene struck a chord with me and stayed with me quietly for a very long time, months later after reading several ffs and metas I can pinpoint that I was basically stuck between finding solidarity w Caroline in having the same insecurities as the character, and hating the fact that I had those insecurities at all to begin w and how vividly they were shown to me through Caroline without any restraint or cushioning.
So yeah you could say her character itself left me both vulnerable and seen at the same time so it was an odd mix of finding comfort and empathizing with this fictional character, but predominantly I was feeling.....agitated and hiding away from the truth that she represented to me; these two opposing feelings conflicted with one another constantly leaving me in a place where I mostly did not know if I liked her at all and if I didnt like her was it because she was written to be a mildly irritating side character [that I couldnt be bothered to emotionally invest in] or just because I saw too much of myself, especially the parts of me I dont particularly care for, in her to ever like her.
So yeah on one side I could say I wasnt deeply bothered [in a good or a bad way] by her, and only in passing acknowledged her to be the plot-convenient side character she was in the very beginning, but on the other hand, I somehow latently knew that it was so much more than that, and I am so so glad it was in fact the latter of the two that was true.
Impression now
Listen my impression of her now, cannot be encapsulated into a well thought out explanation of why I think so and so of her and how it affects me, but I think personally right now if you ask me what I think of Caroline, I would say I see her and I think, 
Oh I....know you, I see you everyday when I think about the kind of growth I want to have, I see myself in your past and while you may have grown I havent, but I can see it’s possible, however fictional and non-existent you are, if it’s possible for you, it’s possible for me.
[Also I just wanna add here, that in no way am I, at this moment, referring to canon!caroline directly but I am strictly thinking of the Caroline I have built in my head and the growth I projected onto her when I saw her transition from vapid blonde shallow bitchy human [and here’s the thing she wasnt vapid or shallow even in her human days but the insecurities still made her feel that way] to confident, painfully real, optimistic, loyal and so overflowingly full of love-vampire who has forgiven her past self but also loves her past self because no one thought she was worth that but Caroline Forbes thinks 16 year old Human Caroline Forbes deserves just as much love as Vampire Caroline Forbes and if no one else is brave enough, real enough to give that to her she will give it to her herself, Which to me is beautiful and resonates so deeply with me and that is exactly what I would say is my current impression of her; A girl so full of love and light, even her own shadow self cannot escape it.]
Favorite moment
Every moment she beats up a guy is my favourite moment and every time she insults Klaus with a smile on her face is also my favourite moment.
Idea for a story
Ok so I’ve had this idea brewing in my head for a while and I’m really excited to make it into an extensive multichap work when I do get the time, but you know how in Legacies [gag] there’s this episode where in an alternative universe where Hope doesnt exist at all, Caroline and Klaus are the cutest Enemies of the State couple to ever exist and they both are basically fucking shit up to the point where the humans wanna end the supernatural world as they know it, in legacies the reason behind the supernatural uprising was something unnecessarily sordid and stupid but I am basically thinking of something else but will lead to the same alternate universe we see in legacies, the basic premise rn is that  Klaus and Caroline are the Supreme leaders of the supernatural community and are leading them against the humans in this war that has broken out all over the world in a bid to end the supernatural world altogether, and I kind of have it outlined to take them from However Long it Takes my Last Love to let’s discuss our next strategy to over throw all opposing world governments on this table and then proceed to fuck on it.
So yeah I kinda wanna say stay tuned for that, but I wont cuz seriously I have no faith in myself lmao.
Unpopular opinion
As much as I love to criticize other characters [mostly Elena] for being hypocritical twats regarding Caroline’s choices, Caroline herself is a hypocrite multiple times through out canon, but I myself find that I am ok with that, since I never expected her to be perfect and her hypocrisy only makes her more real in my eyes since every time she is a hypocrite she is called out on it and made to face her own double standard.
Favorite relationship
I wanna say Klaus, like seriously I really really do,  but for me personally the relationship my Vampire!Caroline has with her past human self will always be the most beautiful enriching and hope giving thing.
That and also her relationship with her mom and how it finds this transformation from a place where they constantly hurt each other and are estranged from each other to a place where they try so hard to understand and love each other and finding the other to be an unmovable pillar in their life that strengthens and holds them up also resonates with me deeply.
Favorite headcanon
This one
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strayen-fx · 4 years
Text
My Roommate Is A Demon | Part Three
Lee Minho x (fem)reader
Genre: Angst, smut
Wordcount: 2k
Warnings: Highly suggestive, fingering, swearing, master kink, Minho being a demon
A/N: It took me three months to decide if I should write it, three hours to decide if I should post it. My first smut fic (and maybe the LAST) huhu please spare me ㅠㅠㅠㅠ I also shifted into second person pov bcs I can't handle writing this in first person I think I will hyperventilate. Don't judge kskaksksk feedbacks will be appreciated tho❣ lezzgetit
○○○
"Are you sure you can handle this?"
Minho smirked at you, a glint of mischief evident in his eyes. "Of course, baby. Don't think your measly human party could even compare to the real deal."
You rolled your eyes, ignoring the nickname he had loved to tease you with. Sometimes -- just sometimes -- you forget that your roommate was literally thrown from hell. Of course, nothing he would see in the mortal world could shake him.
...maybe.
It has been a few weeks since Minho has permanently settled in your house. You have learned to handle the weird shenanigans the demon would usually do. He wasn't that bad -- he helps with the household chores and takes care of your cats with utmost pleasure. And he should -- he was the one who brought Dori into your house, afterall.
There were a few moments, though, when you regret taking the demon in. Especially in mornings, when he'd be walking around in your house half-naked. Or at nights when he'd opt to invade your bed and be the big spoon. Or right now, as he stood in front of you, all confidence and poise with his black button-down and skinny pants.
Lee Minho is sooo bad for your health.
You really hate the way he's making you feel things. Your heart is constantly making these tiny explosions, you wonder if you could even live until the end of the semester.
The fact that he has insisted on coming with you to the party doesn't help your case.
You haven't told your friends about him yet, although they have already started getting suspicious when you constantly kept them away from your house and bailed out of your movie nights. Don't even get started with Jisung -- the lad was very much frustrated that he can't go and play with your cats anymore. (You couldn't wait for him to see Dori, though. Imagine the stars in his eyes when he sees the kitten.)
Their growing suspicion plus your growing guilt were the reasons why you have agreed to go to the party. What you didn't expect though was Minho throwing tantrums until you allowed him to come with you.
Fine, you thought. He probably won't mess around -- you just planned to stick with him until the end of the night and make sure none of you would fuck up.
What do people usually say? Nothing really ever goes the way it's planned. Yeah.
Chan was the one holding the party that night. Nothing huge, he said, just a few of his friends and colleagues from the music department. But it seemed like you and Chan had different definitions of few.
For countless times already, you have been inside the unit Chan shared with Jisung and Changbin. It was huge and spacious for a college dorm, and you knew it could probably accommodate every student in the music department. But still, you were beyond surprised when you saw a platoon of cars parked in front of your friends' building. Couples littered the parking space, holding cups of what you assumed was booze.
You were suddenly feeling jittery and nervous. It had been months since you last went to a party. You were about to tell Minho to restart the engine and bring you home, but even before you could utter a word, Minho had already went and expertly parked your car. He threw the door open and strode confidently towards the source of the music. You groaned internally before catching up to him.
On your way in, you got distracted by how people -- men and women alike -- were looking over to check Minho out. And well, you couldnt blame them -- Minho was... Minho. Confidence naturally flows out of him. He's handsome without even trying. His perfect built was well-complimented by his shirt and jeans, which was tight around the right places. Too tight, in fact, that your imagination was running towards places you didn't want it to run to.
I'm already drunk, alright, you thought to yourself. And I haven't even drank yet.
The flow of people was much worse inside. Good music was blaring through the speakers, thank Changbin for that, and it would have made the party bearable if not for the unholy view of couples grinding on the dance floor.
A few people you knew came up to you to say hi, and soon after, you lost sight of Minho. The demon. He didn't even have the common courtesy to hang out with the person who brought him to that place. And he didn't know anyone else there, for goodness' sake...
You tried to look for him among the crowd, but he was easily absorbed into the tightly-packed, sweaty crowd going at it with the music. You weren't worried for Minho or anything, you were just worried a schoolmate of yours would suddenly erupt in a literal ball of flames.
After a few minutes, you finally found your demon -- in the arms of a brunette who was wearing too much makeup and too few clothing. She was practically attached to Minho like a koala, and the fucker seemed like he was enjoying it.
You immediately stamped out of their view before either of them could see you staring. Sure, Minho is handsome. And hot. And sexy. You knew that all too well. Still, you can't help but feel annoyed by the fact that somebody has attached herself to him like that just that easily. You have been gone for like, what, ten minutes? And he has already forgotten about your existence. He didn't even bother to offer you a drink before going off and attaching himself to a random someone.
He's a true-blue demon, through and through.
You sought refuge on the lounge, finding it lucky that no one else was occupying it. No one to comment on your sulky face. You wanted to get wasted, so you decided to down one cup of beer after another. That was the purpose of parties, afterall. To get wasted.
You were on your fourth, probably fifth cup when somebody held your wrist that clutched the beer.
"Woah there, Y/Nie, slow down."
You were about to snap at the person who interrupted your way to getting wasted. But then you were met by Chan's bright smile, and you immediately felt your heart get lifted.
"Channie..."
The boy sat beside you, taking the cup from your grip. "What's got you so frustrated, huh?"
"Nothing," you sighed. "Nothing important."
Chan smiled widely, showing off his dimples. "Yeah? We're here to enjoy the party. We're not here to sulk."
Chan inched closer, and you were suddenly hyperaware of your skirt that was riding up your thighs. Chan's eyes were dark, and you can see the way he looked at your top. Like he was imagining how he could rid of your garments right there on the couch.
Well, it wouldn't be the first time. There was a time in the past when he helped you get rid of your pent-up stress...
You pressed your thighs together, feeling the heat down south. This action didn't go unnoticed to Chan, however. He rested a warm hand on your thigh, caressing it painfully slow, stroking your inner thigh and doing things that made you whimper.
The thought of doing something filthy on the couch in the middle of a crowded party was too overwhelming for you, and the smirk on Chan's face wasn't helping.
Well fuck, you thought. If Minho is out there living his life with a random koala, nothing should stop me from enjoying the night as well.
You were already starting to get lost within the swirling feelings in your head when suddenly, a strong hand pulled you off of the couch, away from Chan's touch.
"We're going home," Minho growled.
"W-wha-"
"And who are you?" Chan said, now standing up to meet Minho's gaze.
You were standing in between the two of them, feeling the tension rise between the guys. You were frustrated, your heat was left uncared for because of Minho, who was just flirting with a girl he barely knew a few seconds ago. And now he had the nerve to cockblock?
"Y/N's boyfriend," Minho said.
You almost choked in your own saliva.
Chan's reaction was beyond shocked. "Y/N doesn't have a boyfriend."
"Oh, she has. And we are living together. So shut up and get your hands off her before I send your sorry soul to hell. Believe me, I can." You can almost see fire on Minho's eyes, and you knew he meant the threat he dropped.
Without another word, Minho pulled you away and out of the party. Chan didn't try to stop him -- either he believed Minho really was your boyfriend, or he felt fear towards the man.
Minho practically shoved you into your car before he got into the driver's seat. He revved the car back to your home without saying anything.
Minho opened the door to your apartment, and before you could even take two steps in, he slammed the door and pushed you against it, his both hands caging you.
"What the fuck did you think were you doing?"
Anger flared up in your insides. What the fuck?
"You don't own me, Lee Minho," you snapped. "You are not my master. If you can fuck whoever you want, then I can screw with whoever I want. So back off!"
Minho was taken aback, and you took this chance to get free from his grip. But Minho was fast. He got you pinned against the wall this time, with your wrists above your head.
Now you're done for.
"Not so fast, baby. Did you say I don't own you? Did you say I am not your master?"
Minho's voice was suddenly deeper and raspier, and it gave you a different feeling. You felt your legs turn into jelly. His eyes bore into yours, and the smug look in them told you that he knew what you were thinking.
"I can smell your dripping heat, baby. Your pretty lips are saying something, but your body is doing the opposite. Too eager to get fucked by your master?"
You whined at Minho's choice of words. Before you can try to deny his words, Minho's lips crashed against yours. You imagined it would be messy, but it wasn't. Anything but. It was sensual and passionate, delivering the emotions Minho couldn't say in words. And you were kissing him back, needy and deprived of attention.
Then Minho's fingers were on your heat. He pushed your underwear to the side. "Fuck, so wet. You're a pretty cumslut, you know that? Acting all high and innocent when all you wanted was a dick inside of you."
You whined. Fuck, why were you so turned on with the way he was degrading you? Without any warning, Minho inserted two fingers inside of you. You screamed in pain and pleasure, enjoying the way his fingers pushed in and out of you.
Minho trailed kisses on your jaw down to your collarbone, feeling proud of the marks he was leaving on you. He yanked your top with his free hand, massaging your breast and playing with your erect nipple. He sucked at one while playing with the other, eliciting a dirty moan from you.
Everything felt like pure bliss, and your brain was getting all haywire. The lewd sounds weren't helping with the fog in your head. All you could think of was Minho ruining you in every way possible. You can only imagine -- if his fingers already felt that good, how much more would it feel with him inside of you? The thought alone was enough to make you moan even louder, almost making you reach your high.
When Minho felt your pussy clench around his fingers, he immediately pulled out. You whined with the sudden lack of contact, but then Minho was carrying you bridal style towards your room. He threw you against the mattress then he got rid of his own clothes. You were welcomed by the sight of his well toned abs, and your mouth watered upon seeing his bare thighs. And his cock -- well fuck. You wanted to taste it.
"The first time you're cumming for me, baby, I want you to cum around your master's dick."
85 notes · View notes
wildgeese2017 · 3 years
Text
You: what makes you happy?
Stranger: His smile
You: thats so nie
You: nice
Stranger: But I haven’t seen in in a while
You: :(
Stranger: What makes you happy?
You: i like lying down and feeling the earth cradling my whole physical body i like listening to music by myself
You: but i feel like its all sucks bc it never lasts
You: like his smile
You: i dont know how to make sense of it all
Stranger: I feel you
Stranger: Seems like nothing lasts
You: it scares me
Stranger: And you never know when the last time is going to be the last time
Stranger: You always think you will have more
Stranger: Until you don’t
You: i feel like an animal i feel so blind to what fate has planned for me
You: i want to believe in something to sort of see everything through the right lens but i just dont know whether i cud
You: like i dont know what gods means to me
You: what does it mean to you?
Stranger: I try to trust in him
Stranger: But the faith is being tested
Stranger: I feel like so much unfairness couldn’t come from god
You: i used to know so surely that the whole point of this suffering was that it was a test or an inevitabilty but i worry that my conclusion was false
You: im scared that my faith is just learned helpessness
You: do you have anything you wanted to say
You: like why you are on this platform
Stranger: I just hope you get enough motivation to hold on
Stranger: Even if it’s the bare minimum
You: thanks im fine i just feel so confused
Stranger: I am pretty sure that someday something will come that will make it worth it
You: im doing well im being nice to my loved ones im going to work im having fun im just existentially terrified
Stranger: For everyone
You: yeh i think so too
You: i kno u dont kno me but im rooting for you
Stranger: How old are you ? Sorry if that’s too personal
You: im 20
Stranger: I’m rooting for you too!!! 😄
You: thx
Stranger: The confusion starts at the twenty’s
Stranger: I’m 25 and haven’t figured it out
You: lol ive been confused 4 so long tho
You: i think being confused is the whole point
Stranger: Maybe the meaning of life isn’t to find it purpose
Stranger: But to live and live while it lasts
Stranger: Love*
You: like its all just fluctuations of energy and the universe is just reminding itself that it exists bc being is the point of being like a perfect circle of belief and truth
You: yes i think so too
You: but it leads me to chasing empty bliss
Stranger: You should write a book about it
Stranger: Or poems
You: i want to feel more purpose but i dont know how im scared of nit finding peace and my vulnerability being exploited
You: i write poetry but i feel as tho i havent developed craft
Stranger: You must be brave to feel extraordinary :)
You: how do u express urself?
You: :)
Stranger: I dance
You: <3
Stranger: I’m a dancer
You: thats so wonderful
Stranger: Not good with words
You: does it make you feel free? i can only dance with the lights off
Stranger: Sometimes I turn the music up and close my eyes and just dance whatever I feel inside
You: that sounds nice
You: what kind of music do u like?
Stranger: And most of the times it feels like breaking my own heart
You: :(
Stranger: But it flies itself back together right after
You: in a good or bad way?
Stranger: Glues*
You: sometimes i wish i cud crack open my heart and show people
Stranger: I feel like a slightly cracked heart must fall apart to be build up again
You: i always paraphrase kafka when he said the reason for everything he did is to try and express the unexpressable
Stranger: People tend to ignore small cracks
Stranger: But take it serious when it’s all in pieces
You: :( i wish we cud all b more gentle with each other
Stranger: Same
You: i wish i had more energy to see everyones breaking hearts and fill up the cracks with my own love
Stranger: And I wish we would only fall in love with people who fall for us back
You: are you in love with him?
Stranger: I am
You: i dont kno whether ive ever been in love love what is it like?
Stranger: I’ve been in love once before
Stranger: And I swore I’d never open myself up for anyone
Stranger: And my best friend convinced me to go on this date with this guy
Stranger: And when he kissed me I just knew
You: that must hav been terrifying
Stranger: Took me 5years tho
Stranger: To fall like this again
Stranger: It was
Stranger: In it’s ironic way
Stranger: And it still is
You: i can tget close to anyone like that bc ive got all this stuff i cant let anyone see its brave for you to let someone in even if it hurts
Stranger: You know what?
Stranger: It wasn’t a decision I made !!
You: huh i never thought of it that way
You: maybe it was god
Stranger: Im fact the decision I took was to not let him in before we went on that date
Stranger: It wasn’t something I was in control of
Stranger: And it took him 5 hours to kiss me 😄
Stranger: And when he did time stopped
Stranger: And so did my senses except for feeling
You: what makes him so special? is it just the way he makes you feel or is there a big reason in your mind?
Stranger: It’s …
Stranger: How can I say this
Stranger: He was a surprise
Stranger: I didn’t expect him to be that good
You: did you feel like you had met before?
Stranger: I thought he’d be just another mediocre guy
You: so he suprised you
Stranger: But when I saw his smile and eyes I just knew I was screwed
Stranger: Yeah
Stranger: Feel good to finally talk about all this haha
You: ive never felt that way about way about anyone it sounds so confusing
You: is he kind?
Stranger: He was
You: is he not anymore?
Stranger: Sadly no
You: :(
Stranger: He decided to take a step back from me
You: what did he do to make you feel this way (if you dont mind me askin)
You: oh
Stranger: I remember when he called me to tell me he’s not ready for a relationship
You: what are you going to do? i cant imagine never seeing anyone i care about like that again
Stranger: Last time I saw him was three weeks ago
Stranger: And last time I heard from him was one week bwfore
You: did you know him long before ?
Stranger: Three months
Stranger: Not that long
Stranger: But I knew what he would mean to me when I first saw him
Stranger: So it felt like a smaller eternity
You: that sound so difficult
Stranger: I miss him terribly:)
You: i cant imagine feeling that way it wud really scare me everyone i talk to ive known for like 8years i cant give so much of myself to someone new
Stranger: You don’t have to give yourself to someone all at once
Stranger: Be protective of your energy
Stranger: And never trust the other person to not hurt you!
Stranger: But trust yourself and how you will react to it
Stranger: Trust that’s you would be strong enough to handle it
You: do you think he saw the real you? its so weird to think that everyone percieves you differently and out of your own control i worry that i focus too much on an idea of a person that i cud be
Stranger: Yea and no
Stranger: What I showed him was the real me but I also know that I didn’t show him everything that I am
Stranger: I feel your fear ! You got to know who you are as a person first
Stranger: And you got to be authentic with the people around you
You: i think it takes so long to show a clear picture of urself and its always moving and running away from the person you were when you last talked to that person who you want to really see you
Stranger: Exactly!
Stranger: That’s probably the most genuine talk I ever had
You: im so tired of trying to be a person i wish i cud just melt into everyone around me but theres so much i dislike about those around me and its not possible anyway. its just hard knowing the reason for everything is human connection and not living in a way that respects that truth
Stranger: Thank you
You: thank you too
You: i really appreciate your sharing its so scar to be honest out loud
You: *scary
Stranger: True
Stranger: I guess being anonymous makes it easier
You: yeh i just i was going to see a friend today who i feel like understands me but i couldnt in the end and i needed to express a part of myself u kno even tho im talking to other people who know me and care its not the same
You: i hope ou feel better soon regardless of what he chooses for himself
Stranger: I know exactly what you mean
Stranger: After all I have to choose myself over him as well :)
Stranger: Sometimes love isn’t enough
Stranger: Who am I fooling… most of the times it’s not enough
You: i have so many kind lovely friends and family who is trying but i cant let go of this heavy thing its like theres always some invisible chain wrapped around me
You: yeh :(
You: why cant we all help each other more
Stranger: Not many people are spiritual enough to say love is enough and all that matters f*ck the rest
You: i know so many people in pain and im too tired to be there all the time
You: its easy for me to say love is enough when i dont hav so many real problems that cant b solved with love alone
Stranger: I really pray for you to break out of those chains
Stranger: You seem like an amazing loving and caring person
Stranger: You deserve happiness
You: thanks i dont kno whether my hope has any power to reach you but i really hope you get some relief from your pain too
You: you too
You: i think we all do but i cant know that im so lucky to not meet people who are cruel enough to take that belief away from me
Stranger: And if you ever do meet people like that do me the favor of removing them immediately
Stranger: If it costs you your peace it’s too exoenz
You: i guess but i always think what happens to them when im gone?
Stranger: Expensive *
You: where do they go?
Stranger: ALWAYS !
You: what do they feel?
Stranger: That’s none of your business
Stranger: Let them find their own way
You: yeh i think we all need to respect ourselves to let go of toxicity
Stranger: You don’t have to guide them
You: i just feel like i want to care more i want to love more but i dont and that makes me feel small and selfish i wish we cud all connect our love its so scary not being able to reach each other
You: im scared to change and become better it sounds so hard i feel so selfish
Stranger: You’re not selfish if it means protecting your energy
Stranger: But don’t stand in your own way
Stranger: Be brave
Stranger: Can’t stress that enough
You: thanks i think i do need to be braver i try and look more people in the eye but maybe i need to be brave against myself more than against other people
Stranger: Have you ever watched greys anatomy?
You: since they arent in my control
You: no but all my friends love it
You: its on my list loll
Stranger: So Meredith grey said something like :
Stranger: Maybe she wasn’t opening up to people not because she was scared of the love she would receive
Stranger: But scared of what would happen when they took this live away from her someday
Stranger: Once you get a taste of love
Stranger: It’s like a drug
Stranger: Love*
You: like you and him, i find it hard to accept it when people choose me over someone else so i push them away to other people and i get upset that they replaced me
You: love is so scary
You: its too much
Stranger: Me and him …
Stranger: I feel like this story is not over yet
Stranger: :)
Stranger: And that calms me
You: i think if you have so much love inside you, u will succeed and find yourself in a good place if you focus on that love
Stranger: Yeah
Stranger: I literally believe in love because of the way I know I am capable to love
You: sometimes i worry that im not capable of love like that like i have something inside me that puts people off even though on a surface level i seem nice and passionate or sweet or whatever
You: like i worry im just playing a part and soon ill get tired of acting and i wont be what people need anymore
Stranger: Don’t worry too much
Stranger: Just truly be yourself
You: thanks i will try too
You: its so weird loving life this much and still not being happy
Stranger: Damn
You: like im so happy but its never enough
You: its not the right kind of joy it wont fit
Stranger: And this whole convo started with this simple question
You: loll
Stranger: What makes you happy
Stranger: Lol
Stranger: You know what I just realized
You: wot :0
Stranger: My answer was wrong in so many ways
Stranger: Your happiness shouldn’t be depending on someone else
Stranger: Cause you can’t control other peoples behavior
You: thats so real
You: its so scary tho since you cant b alone but you cant rely purely on others
Stranger: Your happiness should only be in your hands
Stranger: So controversial
Stranger: It’s a daily risk lol
You: like other people are all that matters but to them you are the other people so we all need to be kind to ourselves to be kind to each toher but we're all to hurt and scared to do all of it in the right way
You: we're all walking around with a piece of the happy puzzle and we have'nt figured out how to put it together
Stranger: sometimes we forget that all people are vulnerable and maybe hurting too
Stranger: When someone hurts your feelings you tend to forget you might have hurt theirs too
You: i always remember but i dont always respect it and that makes me dislike the kind of person i let myself be
Stranger: You will learn to
You: i hope so
You: i think thats the point
Stranger: Don’t pressure yourself
You: like we live and we all learn the same lesson
You: but it seems like its always repeating
You: like why haven't we learned it yet
You: like we're all one soul
You: and we can't reach the end of this problem or is the point how good we feel at points of it? i cant just chase joy if its fleeting iworry that even love is fleeting
You: idk i know we only hav the present
You: like all the advice uve given me i trust it
You: i just freak out thinking of the big picture
Stranger: Relax 😄
Stranger: It’s not all that serious
Stranger: Don’t forget to live along the way
Stranger: Love was never meant to be safe or measured!
Stranger: You got to be brave and love irritationally
You: i think that that is fair i just i go long stretches living and then i remember the whole question of why and how shud i live and i get all tangled up again
Stranger: And instead of being scared, trusting yourself with it
You: i think i need to trust more and i think faith is trust
Stranger: Grow and learn to trust yourself
You: i want to have more faith in myself in others in the future i just worry the way i acheive this will only be a bandaid i want more than blind faith i want to see the world and see it as it is and still feel love and joy and trust the universe and myself to experience it correctly and even let go of the whole concept of correct.
Stranger: I also think I might fall asleep soon lol
You: thanks for listening i think i will too lol good luck i wish you all the best <£
You: <3
Stranger: That’s what I wish you too
Stranger: From the bottom of my heart
You: :-)
Stranger: Take care strangee
You: u 2 :-)
Stranger: Stranger*
1 note · View note
angstymdzsthoughts · 4 years
Note
1/ >mpreg< wrh won the sunshot campaign, but both his sons still die, so he wants to be repaid. he demands a chosen bride from each sect for his harem and so nhs, jgy, lxc, and even jyl (who is married and left jl as an orphan bc jzx died during the war) and wwx.. he especially wants wwx and so he keeps him separate from the rest, seals his power and brainwashed him, turning him into a pliant bedwarmer whose only job is to provide wrh with more children.
2/ >mpreg< wrh made sure to control his new harem with a tight leash, going so far as to damage their golden cores to weaken them. lwj is going mad bc not only his brother but also his beloved wei ying were taken away to serve wrh. he tried to reach out to other sects, asking them to cooperate to take their hostages back but none of the sects were brave or strong enough to go against wrh, especially after the devastating war.
3/ >mpreg< after thirteen years of gathering intel and strength as well as countless failed infiltration missions, lwj has had enough of it and decided to sneak into nightless city himself. he managed to find his brother and nhs but there were no signs of the others. it broke his heart to see the swollen stomach of his brother as he told him that none of them had seen wwx since he was first taken in. wwx is wrh's favorite, birthing the most children for him out of all of them.
4/ >mpreg< nightless city was crawling with children who look like wrh. lwj told lxc that he's making a plan to help all of them escape. lxc was scared for his children, but didn't object. wrh found out abt lwj sneaking into his castle, but kept hush abt it bc he wants lwj to suffer more. he threatened lxc to act like he was going along with the plan and telling wrh everything or he's going to kill their youngest toddler. he could just put a new one in him, anyway.
5/ >mpreg< lxc just prayed lwj would have enough time to escape when their escape plan fail later. after about a week of hiding in nightless city, lwj stumbled upon a restricted area. he managed to sneak in and he was horrified to find wwx inside, heavily pregnant, but without an ounce of discontent on his face, in fact he looked overjoyed. the man was calmly combing his hair while humming to himself. lwj was so shocked he accidentally made a noise that alerted wei ying of his presence.
6/ >mpreg< "who's there?" wwx immediately grabbed a hairpin for self defense but relaxed when his eyes found it was just lwj. "oh hi lan zhan" he was smiling but it was so unsettling. "why do you hv to sneak in like a mouse? my a-yuan can do better than that when he was five" lwj couldnt move, couldnt say anything. "lan zhan? what's wrong? we haven't met for many years and the first thing you do is sneak into my room and frown at me?"
7/ >mpreg< "wei ying. have to get you out of here" lwj finally uttered. "what? why?" lwj couldnt believe his ears. "why would i want to leave master ruohan and our children?" lwj wished he could just die on the spot. "but- he forced you and the others-" "forced? what are you talking about?" lwj saw wwx was getting agitated and it unnerved him to no end. "if youre coming here just to disturb me then just go!" wwx's voice was getting louder and lwj has no choice but to leave before he was found
8/ >mpreg< a couple weeks later, lwj finally managed to get the last of his plans taken care of. he made a huge distraction that allowed wrh's harem to flee to their designated meeting spot (they came right back in after but lwj never knew that). they could bring the smaller children with their mothers but they would have to leave the older children behind since wrh had had his influence on them already. the only one left was wei ying. he had to get wei ying back no matter what.
9/ >mpreg< lwj didnt care if he would only be able to take wei ying or if wei ying was going to hate him. he couldnt let wei ying go again. he inched closer to wwx's living quarters and he barely got a greeting in before the maidservants announced wrh's arrival. wwx immediately told lwj to hide in his room. wrh came in and wwx all but jumped into his arms. lwj could see everything. he could see wrh kissing he face he dreamt of kissing for so many years, touching the body he dreamt of touching for so many years.
10/ >mpreg< lwj ended up hiding for a good portion of the whole day, trying to close his ears as he heard sounds he once dreamt wei ying would let out only for him. swallowing his own tears as wwx begs wrh to ravish him. wrh didnt leave until wwx woke up from his nap. when he deemed it safe enough, lwj sneaks back out, still wrecking his brain trying to think of ways to convince wwx to leave with him. "wei ying, come back to gusu with me, please" wwx pouts, shaking his head. "im not going anywhere, get lost!" "wei ying please" lwj tried approaching wwx, but he just kept backing away. "get lost!"
11/ >mpreg< lwj kept pushing, maybe if he could just <i>touch</i> wei ying, he could identify and undo whatever spell wrh did on wei ying. wwx kept backing away, replying to all of lwj's pleas with 'get lost'. he wasnt going to let this man who he hadnt seen for so long take everything away from him. soon, there was no more space for wwx to retreat to, trapped between lwj's approaching form and his vanity table. he grabbed a hairpin and swung, slashing lwj's perfect face. blood dripped on the floor, but lwj couldnt care less, not when wei ying is inches away from him. he <i>had</i> to have wei ying back.
12/ >mpreg< lwj was prepared to just hit wwx's pressure points to render him unconscious and carry him outside, his pregnancy be damned, but before he could, wei ying was already screaming. "a-yuan!" it took mere seconds before the door slammed open, revealing a teenager with a sword in his hand. he had wei ying's eyes. he could recognize that shade of silver anywhere, but the glint of malice there was unmistakably wen ruohan's. the teenager charged at lwj, who was caught off guard and it took no time before lwj was subdued and bleeding, kneeling by wwx's bed with the teenager's foot keeping him still. "scum! you dare try to harm my mother?!"
13/ >mpreg< "would never try to harm wei ying.. only want wei ying back" lwj croaks. "preposterous!" wei ying's son (a-yuan, lwj's mind provided) barked. "who do you think you are, to boldly lay claim on my mother? you deserve death for this!" lwj didnt respond. he was focused on wwx sitting in front of him, caressing his baby bump lovingly, creating an image of heavenly bliss, but everything in lwj screamed that it was <i>wrong- wrong, wrong, wei ying is</i> "lan zhan" lwj's world stopped.
14/ >mpreg< wwx looked at lwj in the eyes. his eyes look sad. disappointed. <i>at wangji</i> "why do you keep antagonizing me? back then you kept telling me that i was wrong, kept telling me how i was supposed to be. i know you didnt like me before and i left you alone. now youre here pestering me, as if i have no mind of my own to think and feel. and you ask me to leave with you?never," wwx's eyes hardened with grievance. "i suggest you leave immediately and maybe you'll get to keep your life" lwj's eyes widen. <i>wei ying misunderstood, must tell him- </i> "no, wei ying, youre under a spell. wei ying would never-" lwj wheezed as a sharp kick hit his back. "shut up!" wen yuan growled, "if i hear you speak rubbish one more time i would-" "a-yuan" wwx interrupted. "wen yuan, my beloved firstborn, it's okay. mother's got this," he gave his son an assuring look. then he shifted his gaze back to lwj. "lan zhan, im not under any spell. i really do belong here. you can check" wwx held out one hand for lwj to touch. lwj desperately took the hand. he wanted to relish in the softness of skin at first, the warmth he longed for, but quickly decided something was more important. he checked wwx's meridians, his qi pathways. lwj paled. he could feel nothing.
15/ >mpreg< "why" all the breath left lwj. "wei ying, he- he made you birth so many children, kept you locked here-" wwx's brows arched. "i love my children. i have always wanted a house full of children. master ruohan gave me what i wanted. i bear children for him because i love him" if this was heaven then lwj would rather go to hell.angstymdzsthoughtsOofWas that the last part?reblog-monsterno hold oni have like 1 or 2 moreangstymdzsthoughtsOk
16/ >mpreg< <i>wei ying, his wei ying, his heart, his soulmate, loves-?</i> "i love master ruohan, the father of my children. if he wants me to stay, i will stay. if he wants me to go, i will go. but you, you dont get a say" lwj heaved as wwx pulled his hand back, his heart too heavy and his head too painful. "ah, my bad" wwx gave lwj a side eye. "you know to much now" lwj swore he could saw wwx smirk at wen yuan but nothing mattered anymore. lwj gasped when a sword pierced his chest but it was a welcome pain to numb his aching soul. "just so you know," wwx's eyes glinted with glee as he bends down in a mock attempt to whisper into lwj's ear. "i love being pregnant. i beg master ruohan to breed me again even a few weeks after giving birth. im never going to stop, i cant stop," he giggled and lwj was somehow relieved that wwx's laughter was the last thing he heard before everything dissolved into nothing.
[ending notes] back in gusu, just as everyone was busy with the absence of their sect leader, only a letter came a few days later with a familiar red seal and a bloody headband. someone tried to violate a member of wen ruohan's harem and the perpetrator has been dealt with accordingly. their sect leader never returned.
98 notes · View notes
hey-hamlet · 5 years
Text
BNHA AU Ideas: Don’t Praise the Almighty (Part 1)
Also on AO3
hold on to your hats everyone - this is part one. i was going to put them together, then i realised part two is 6000 words and thats just too long 
TW for: implied abuse of all kinds, straight-up physical and emotional child abuse, gaslighting, all might if he was a terrible person.
TL;DR: 
Things you must sacrifice to make a hero: Humanity, Empathy.
Things you must sacrifice to be a hero: Everything.
izuku wants to be a hero, imagine the first ep happens etc. yagi doesnt so much say "you can be a hero" as "ill make you a hero"
an aside: inko is an absent parent, to make ends meet and a poor way of coping with a missing Hisashi. Izuku grows up without any positive adults figures in his life.
yagi makes izuku train and train and train, the kid’s hands bleed and his legs ache but allmight makes him keep going. allmight says he's useless and pathetic and a crybaby and izuku believes him, because he's allmight
they spar and yagi just holds back enough to not let izuku get hurt too badly to train. even katsuki is disturbed bc quirkless deku is coming to school with black eyes and swollen wrists
when katsuki calls him pathetic izuku just nods
"ill get better though"
and katsuki feels so gross he doesnt try to fuck with izuku for weeks
and so izuku is so convinced this is normal because katsuki does it, and mum does it, and now allmight? thats just how you treat kids he thinks. or quirkless ones at least
hes still a big fan of allmight because he doesnt see whats wrong. hes just pathetic and useless but then he'll get a quirk and he'll be worth something for the first time in his life
he barely sleeps, barely eats, just trains and studies and trains some more. he collapses. all might stands there until izuku gets back up and makes him keep running
reasons all mights like this
he is 1, suffering from internalised quirk discrimination
2, nana's dead bc she wasn't "strong enough"
3, he thinks he can shape izuku into the perfect selfless hero, and better person than he ever was.
hes convinced this is for the greater good. hes a dick but hes so sure hes in the right here
by the time of the entrance exam izuku is,,, kinda fucked up
he passes with flying colours because he used his quirk for the first time, broke his arm, and immediately moved on to snaping finger after finger. the teachers watched on, horrified as this child mutilated himself to get points
all might smiled. because this is what he wanted.
he saves ochacco too
he gets in and allmight is pleased with him, even more pleased than the time izuku admitted he hadn't slept for 72 hours and still got a perfect score on his test
and izuku thinks this was all worth it to see his hero smile at him
izuku is in 1A
izuku actually listed that he feels less pain due to his quirk, which aizawa believes but hes still not sold on the idea of a hero that destroys themselves. he doesnt know if izuku heals better or faster, but he's sure that may broken bones cant be good
aizawa is convinced he's going to expel izuku during the quirk test. the look he sees on izuku’s face when he says he's expelling the lowest scorer makes his stomach churn
because all of the other kids look worried, nervous
izuku looks like hes going to throw up.
the kid is trembling and pale and aizawa watches as he turns to ochako, smiles brightly and says "let's do our best" while he holds back full body tremors the other kids don't see
he breaks toes and fingers and he cries but he doesn't flinch at the pain
the only time he flinches is when someone looks him in the eyes, if someone speaks too loud, and at the firecracker pops of katsuki's quirk
and aizawa feels sick
the ball toss, he just can't watch this kid break anymore, and he stops his quirk
for a second he freezes, because this kids quirk manages pain, he'll be feeling all of those broken bones, he'll obviously notice
right?
but izuku doesnt notice his missing quirk until he throws the ball. he turns around, looking sick. aizawa feels so lost when he looks at him with pure relief
"oh, you're eraserhead"
izuku tears up for the first time in that class.
"please give me back my quirk"
aizawa feels so lost he blinks, and his quirk drops with it. there is something totally wrong about the utter relief the kid feels having this horrifically damaging quirk back, and there is something bothering aizawa about it, but he doesn't know what
"dont use your quirk for the rest of this test, kid. not unless you can use it without breaking something"
izuku nods but aizawa knows the kid will just try to hide it. he takes him by the shoulder when the others have moved on
"i mean it, midoriya. no quirk, or i'll expell you on the spot"
and izuku just looks so lost
"but, i have to? i'm-"
"you didn't flinch when i took your quirk. you can feel every broken bone, can't you?"
izuku just nods, like walking with broken toes is normal, like throwing a ball with broken fingers is easy. aizawa knows it's not
he just sighs.
"no quirk. we'll work on training it after. you're ahead enough not to fail the course, go to recovery girl now. you aren't expelled"
izuku just looks hurt
aizawa shoos him away and almost misses the thin form of all might slink out from behind the wall to follow izuku
he's worried, and confused. But he can't just, abandon a field of kids
he texts hizashi bc that's just who he texts when he's panicking, and he asks him to look out for smallmight and izuku, somewhere on the way to the infirmary. so present mic turns on the first movie he finds on his computer (an english language copy of rocky) yells "ENGLISH PRACTISE TIME" and runs out the door
1C is so lost
anyway, present mic can be quiet when he tries and when he hears the sound of allmight sternly talking to a student that's crying? he tries real fucking hard
he basically catches
"you're supposed to be stronger than this, why did he make you stop?"
"he saw my bones breaking-i couldnt-"
"and so you flinched? didn't we train?"
"i didnt flinch! he made me stop!"
allmight backhands him
"dont waste it. either get better at hiding it or learn to use your quirk without breaking bones quickly or ill find another successor. one that isn't useless."
present mic hears izuku agree and cry and he feels ill. he sneaks back a little further, then loudly walks down the hall. allmight smiles at him, and he wants to punch the man
izuku smiles at him too, tears in his eyes but like he's happy to see another hero. present mic cant understand why izuku is pressed so close to a man that hurt him, like he's more afraid of present mic than allmight
he walks with them to recovery girl, chatting like he was meant to be there. hes so grateful allmight is new, because he totally has a class he's meant to be teaching right now and that would be so suspicious if he knew his schedule 
he walks them all the way to the door, and he lingers. there is a touch of steel in his eyes when he tells allmight to take care because what he really means is "take care of yourself because i will not"
and hes halfway down the corridor before he freezes
why did izuku seem so comfortable with a man he shouldn't know
anyway present mic is having a quiet breakdown for 20 seconds before he sprints back to his class, pretends he never left, and panic texts aizawa
so aizawa, with a little great context, knows that that, particular, conversation wasn't as,,, unsavoury,,, as it could,,, be implied,,,
but like,,,,,, he's really lost on why izuku would know small might and he's very worried
bakugo is fuCKinG PisSed
izuku left?? and he wasn't expelled???
Any,,, unsavoury implications arent something I'm going to talk ab in this au bc it doesn't need to be worse,,, but it's very much intentional
so aizawa is having an actual moral crisis rn bc hizashi isn't a liar and he doesn't want to like, not believe when he saw. but really? the symbol of peace is terrible??? and hizashi doesn't want to believe it either. both of them as so sure they are just missing context or something
bakugo stalks up to recovery girls office after class bc wtf deku?? and he walks in to just see izuku blankly picking at new white scars
he actually perks up when katsuki enters
and there is this man standing over izuku. this man he's seen with izuku before, yelling at him, but someone izuku seems happy to be around. it's not deku’s dad, he knows that. and the guy is too blonde and tall to have literally any relation to him.
a lot of the fire in katsuki goes out when he sees how tired izuku looks, and the question he was going to yell becomes more of a mumble
"so, you have a quirk now? just like that?"
he looks up and he sees that man's hand on izuku's shoulder, curled like a claw, so tight it must hurt. but izuku doesn't flinch or shy away, he smiles softly
"i'm really lucky, huh kacchan?"
and as much as izuku looks like he believes it, katsuki has the strongest feeling that this is the worst possible thing that could have happened to his once-friend
he just leaves
and he almost runs straight into his new teacher. they lock eyes and even though katsuki doesn't know whats going on, aizawa doesn't know whats going on, they both just know something is happening
and its not good
but what can they do
hes the symbol of peace
recovery girl is 100% in denial bc she new baby toshi and he's a dork but he's a good boy
izuku gets knocked tf out by recovery girls heal and toshi carries him out of the school grounds and shes like "how cute"
honestly they get to they gate, he wakes izuku up and reminds him to run home to get in the extra cardio, and izuku does. all the way home.. not only bc yagi wanted him to, but that's a big bit but bc if he was late hed wouldn’t get dinner
so the battle trial
so aizawa is like,,, : | ab everything
so he attends the battle trial rather than take the nap he really fucking wanted
the kids come out in their costumes and something sits poorly about the way izuku positively preens at almighty compliments. so basically it goes like the show, but allmight doesnt try to stop Bakugo. aizawa doesn't have audio, but he sees what the kids see and rips the mic out of allmights hand to tell bakugo to stop
he doesnt have to, though
because izuku has already vanished from sight
bakugo looks lost, aizawa is worried, but allmight just looks smug because a second later, izuku drops from the ceiling where he swung up, and punches bakugo in the back of the head
allmight grins and it looks nasty
izuku gives bakugo a once-over to make sure hes ok, wraps his wrists, then puts him in the recovery position and scampers out of the room to ochako
aizawa is lost, because that is c l e a r l y combat training. from the back of the room, todoroki starts watching in earnest
with ochako, he grabs the bomb. they walk out of the exercise and all might congratulates them on winning and izuku looks so happy! but allmight isn't done
"young midoriya, why didn't you use your quirk?"
the only people that notice the way he pales are todoroki and aizawa
"sorry sir, i didn't want to disappoint mr aizawa"
allmight nods, and he smiles but aizawa doesnt like it
"thats ok my boy, we'll have to see about getting you some out of class quirk training, huh?"
izuku smiles. hes happy, but he looks panicked
he looks guilty about being afraid
aizawa silently tells his agency he needs the week off to investigate something personal, and they readily give him the time off
izuku mumbles happily to himself about the exercise, stilling when all might looks gazes with him. he stops, flushes, and apologises. allmight nods.
he begins again, but hes not mumbling anymore, hes speaking clearly and concisely with the other students, even though he doesnt want to talk to them, he just wants to think. but allmight says to talk clearly to everyone or to remain silent and he just wants so badly to talk about the exercise
todoroki looks between izuku and allmight and he wonders
USJ time baby
allmight uses up his time, like before
the difference is, when the nomu comes for aizawa? izuku doesnt hesitate to jump in. thats what allmight wanted. he wanted someone so selfless that "would i give my life for them" isn't even a question that would cross their mind, they would just move
izuku stalls. he's shivering and shaking, walking on broken toes but he stands between aizawa and the nomu and he smiles
shigiraki looks at izuku and doesn't see a hero in training. he sees someone like him, like his league. someone who has be stepped on and ruined and reborn
and he wants him
when he sees something he likes, he wants it. like his sensei and his quirks. shigiaki collects people like action figures to use how he likes
anyway, he sees this little 'hero' and for all his stubbornness he knows he won't get izuku today
so he does what his sensei did to him all those years ago
he shows kindness. just enough to break him
he looks izuku in the eyes and says
"hero society is so rotten they break children into weapons to fight other broken pieces. whats fair about that?"
and izuku looks stunned. he drops his smile.
"from one broken piece to another, i wont shatter you today."
kurogiri moves izuku and aizawa just outside of the usj
they cant get in, aizawa has no quirk to break through the walls and izuku is shell shocked
he takes a second to look at aizawa like his world is falling down and aizawa understands.
and then
allmight appears
and aizawa hates himself for how relieved he feels
allmight looks at izuku and izuku smiles so wide. and then he frowns
"they want to kill you"
"they aren't the first, my boy."
and izuku pauses
"they seem pretty sure they can, sir."
and allmights smile looks meaner
"what, you really think so little of this old man?"
and izuku shakes his head violently
"not at all! no, im sorry-"
allmight looks at his student and suddenly there isnt a wall anymore, blasted into tiny shards by allmight’s punch. izuku scrambles inside after him
aizawa tells him to stay outside, to stay safe. but allmight levels a glare at him that almost hurts to meet. aizawa cringes and rushes after them, cradling broken arms
the fight ends much the same, but upon seeing izuku in the way on his hand, shigiraki closes his fist
allmight doesn't miss that
and, with that the other teachers arrive. and again, present mic and aizawa wonder why izuku knows allmight small form
oh also just as a weird powerplay thing, allmight calls izuku by his first name in private while izuku calls him sir everywhere
aizawa has the worst of the injuries, but years of sleep deprivation mean he can pretty easily resist the call of sleep after recovery girls quirk. not that anyone knows that. so he hears the edges of a conversation between hero and student
he hears sobs and a slap and apologies from both parties. he hears a louder conversation on training after class to better use izuku’s quirk and aizawa decides he's going to force himself into this 'training' because he doesnt like the optics on any of this
allmights angry that the villains were fond of izuku, bc that means izuku was doing something wrong, right? and he's also angry izuku barely used his quirk, but he does kinda understand needing to be able to walk still
anyway in the training we get the joy of a creepy scene of yagi assessing the physique of a barely dressed izuku
aizawa isn't there yet and boy howdy does he feel ill when yagi walks out of the changing rooms a few minutes before izuku does
anyway so it doesn't take long for yagi and aizawa to get izuku using his quirk w/o achy breaky bones and izuku is proud, and so is aizawa
but yagi just kinda pipes in with "about time" and izukus face crumples
aizawa just says "better late than never" and izuku gives a watery smile
yagi scares enji but he just royally pisses off todoroki
bc todoroki just looks at the guy
"big strong me, what you gonna do, punch me? yeah right bastard and i'll go screaming to the press. I dont give a fuck what you think you dick of an old man!"
please izuku is totally convinced that this is just normal training, that yagi is doing his best and a teacher, is doing right by him. and shouto is just,,, he doesnt know the whole story. just knows that all might scares izuku and that all mights secretary has a connection to him
but he knows that yagi was creepy enough to make his old man have bad vibes and thats an achievement
Enji sat, reigning back a snarl as the green boy threw Shouto -his Shouto- from the ring, to land on his back in a graceless cloud of dust. Beside him, All Might’s secretary grinned. It wasn’t a nice grin, like the hero, but a nasty crawling one that made Enji feel cold even with his flames dancing around his face.
Enji had never liked the man, his instincts telling him there was something horrifically off about him. But the number one hero had resources he couldn’t dream of, so he kept his lips shut.
“Well done, my boy.”
There was no familial resemblance between the skeletal man beside him, and the boy who stood both victorious and broken where his son should have been. No resemblance to the hulking oaf of a hero either. But their quirks were markedly similar, as were their smiles, if the boy’s was a little kinder.
The man turned to him, all polite smiles and condolences for his son’s loss.
The smug aura around him so strong that Enji allowed himself, for just a second, to pity the boy in green.
Its just tenya and todoroki who know
and quickly bakugo too, bc he was there for shoutos tragic backstory reveal, which included izukus too
and like,,, mic and aizawa are in denial bc jesus christ its the number one hero and hes normally so nice
izuku v katsuki babey!
basically izuku starts to panic and bakugo stops the fight and grabs his hand
"pull yourself together deku. forget everyone else, this is just a fight between me and you, go it?"
and izuku gives a shakey smile, and nods. bakugo releases his hand
"lets start this again, huh izuku"
"sure thing kacc-. Katsuki"
and then fiGHT and its great and its a tie bc they are both so fucking exhausted. izuku and bakguo have to get hauled to their feet by midnight, but both of them are grinning
izuku has trouble w his hero name, like, a l o t bc everything he comes up with yagi says no
but yagi wont give him any ideas eventually izuku just ends up with his hero name being "nine" bc yagi liked that one
katsuki can just,,, tell izuku doesn't like it (bc it reduces him as a hero down to his quirk)
(he wants the name jackrabbit)
he has no supports in his costume bc "it makes you look weak" and no support gear either
ok so , his bones are less fucked than canon zuku but hes willing to break them fucking constantly
aizawa actually comes up to him before the sports festival and says "you break your bones, you get disqualified. no excuses"
yagi is p i s s e d but just nods politely to aizawa tells izuku hed better do as aizawa says, as stupid as a request it may be
also izuku really,, wants to paint his nails dumb glittery colours like ochako and mina do so they paint his nails for him! and then at lunch yagi scrubs the polish off with a dish scrubber
to make it worse, mina is sad izuku took it off, but she just
pauses
when she sees his fingers are almost bleeding
"midoriya, what happened?"
"oh haha funny thing, one of our teachers said i might get a uniform violation so i got a little enthusastic with scrubbing it off, sorry!"
aizawa just winces
one of the finals nails in the coffin is todoroki asking if "the tall thin blonde guy" is izukus dad
aizawa says no
todoroki says "good"
s t a i n a r c
so izuku finds iida and steps between iida and stain, starts fighting him, todoroki shows up, stain starts rambling about how allmight is the best hero and todoroki gives him a strange look
"i used to agree. but seeing allmight at school, i dont think hes the icon of morality everyone says"
izuku is spluttering, denying it, stain is just watching them. so stain isnt even fighting them, hes interested. bc this selfless kid is the one shigiraki wants
iida is lost too and he gets this,,, look in his eyes like he's starting to connect some dots
anyway, fight proceeds, they win the nomu tries to carry izuku off, stain stops the nomu and saves izuku and vaguely he realizes the way izuku just, sits in his arms, like he doesnt know how to react to being touched, and he pushes it aside
and he holds izuku close because all he knows is that this boy is kind and good and the world has hurt him and he says that this boy he is holding is the only hero hes ever worth met their salt
oh but after the hero killer thing, yagi storms into the office and hauls izuku out by his injured arm
and tenya and shouto just feel sick
"should, should we tell all might? about how his secretary treats midoriya?"
shouto just glares at the half-open door, quiet apologies drifting down the hall until they turn another corner
"i'm quite sure that man already knows."
250 notes · View notes
spooks-can-write · 5 years
Text
The Babysitter
Nestor x Reader
Summary: Emily hires you to babysit Cristobal (this is apart from the actual tv series events) and you and Nestor have some...tension. im bad at summaries ok.
Warnings: no smut just tension lmao. Cursing. Some predatory behavior, nothing beyond that.
Word count: idk tbh its longER tho bc i cant be short im s o r r y.
Hope yall enjoy 💞
The door chimed as you walked into the coffee shop, immediatley seeing Emily beam as she saw you made you loose a tension you didnt know you were holding. After leaving your last job abruptly you had been busy trying to get your shit together and through the struggle you were glad to take a break to see your old babysitter and childhood friend Emily.
"Hey (y/n)!" She stood up, you noted motherhood suited her well. She seemed more at peace now.
"Hey Em!" You looked down to see Cristobal sweetly sleeping in his noteably expensive stroller.
"So..." she seemed eager "I was talking with Miguel and we know you're...well...looking for a new job and place to stay so we thought it'd be perfect if you stayed with us as Cristobals full time nanny."
You were caught off gaurd to say the least "Oh, uh that does sounds great but i dont have any experience really."
"Dont worry well figure it out and ill be there in the beginning till you settle in. Trust me."
You thought you didnt have many other places to go either way and being in a stable enviornment would be good for a change. Fuck it.
"When can i start?"
Nannying was going better than you thought. It helped that Cristobal was more than well behaved but also you kind of had a knack for it. Not to mention the mansion Emily lived in. The only problem from time to time was that asshole with the cornrows. He always blatantly ignored you or just stared at you until you left the room. You thought long and hard about what you did to piss him off and couldnt think of a single thing, so you decided he was just an asshole.
You needed to check with Miguel about taking Cristobal to the park, going to his office you just found Nestor standing next to an empty desk.
"Where is Miguel?"
He didnt respond.
"Where.Is.Miguel?" You ask with more attitude than you meant.
He blinked like he didnt understand.
"Nestor!" You raised your voice
"He stepped out. He'll be back in 10." His calm tone didnt match yours. You instantly felt embaressed to have been rude. Shit.
"Thanks" you walked out wishing you had been more calm
--------------------------
When you walked in he looked up, thinking it was miguel, to see you. You were wearing that new top he liked. It hugged your curves. The sun was hitting your face making you glow.
Fuck you were beautiful. He wanted to shove the chair out of the way and grab you and kiss you more than he ever wanted anything he knew he couldnt have.
Shit. You looked mad.
"Nestor!"
He gathered his thoughts
He watched you walk out. His stomach twisted that you seemed mad at him. Fuck.
----------------------
They were supposed to be gone all day so you were walking around the house, bouncing and humming a hymn to Cristobal in your pjs. He slowly fell asleep as you walked around the stairs to the den, you stopped dead.
You were met with the eyes of Miguel, Devante, Nestor, and a fair skinned man with a lot of jewlery and a shit eating grin as his eyes obviosuly roamed your body. You were just wearing a little bit too short of shorts and a tank top that cristobals sleepy hand was tugging down. You felt your stomach twist and cheeks flush.
"Sorry-I I didnt know anyone was home, he was getting fussy so.." you trailed off as Miguel stood up giving you a look you couldnt read. You looked over to Nestor and he looked upset.
"Dont worry mija we were just finishing up." Miguel said, like he meant it.
"Actually" the strange man stood, still undressing you with his eyes. It was starting to piss you off.
"Miguelito i think we should wait till my party next saturday to...finalize this deal huh?" He said with that same grin.
"Por supuesto" miguel said as he ushered the man to the other side of the room, talking to each other in spanish too quiet for you to decipher.
You felt stuck in your place. You focused on Cristobals breath against your chest. Trying to let it calm you. You noted more of the man. He looked dangerous. Emily told you Miguel was a international businessman and you believed her till you came here. You werent stupid enough to ask exactly what he did but you also werent stupid enough to believe he was just a businessman either.
The men came back and stood in front of you for a beat.
"Hey listen im really sorry i thought everyone was gone-" you started
"No worries chiquita, but do you have a passport?" Devante asked, eyebrow raised
-----------------------------
"Well if im being whored out i mine as well look good right?" You said smoothing down the soft rose gold satin dress as Emily and Dita sang your praises.
"How many times do i have to tell you (y/n) he just told Miguel he wanted to see you at the party, hes not going to do anything and we won't let him anyways." Emily reassured you, doing your hair.
"You're a part of the family now mija, this is our job as the women." You knew that comment was true, you saw it with your own eyes and that made it sting even more.
You were doing it for the sake of Emily and her family you told yourself. Plus you did look amazing in the dress.
You tugged at the zipper of the dress, it wouldn't budge.
"Hey em, can you-" you turned to see nestor at the door.
"I can if you want" his voice was gentle. Not that he was ever callous with you but it felt deliberate.
"Yeah sure" you half whispered, surprised it got caught in your throat.
He walked over. You moved your hair in front as he gently pulled the zipper up. Touching it when he was done. You turned.
"Listo?" He asked
You nodded, following. Feeling a flutter in your chest.
The drive to mexico was beautiful and serene. You mind did wander to Nestor and how sweet he was to you. You wondered if it was a fluke. Maybe he felt sorry for you. You tried not. to feel sorry for yourself.
You arrived to what looked like a castle. It had the guards with machine guns and everything. You found humor in that, as the situation sank in, you weren't scared.
It you were honest with yourself even when Nestor was cold to you, you always felt safe with him.
You all got out of the car, you last, as Nestor helped you onto the uneven stones. It'd been a minute since you wore heels.
"Dont worry." He leaned down to talk close to you, squeezing your hand. You met his smile.
The music was loud as you walked in. People were dancing and the mariachis were amazing. You were thankful to sit next to emily and dita. You felt eyes on you from men and their wives. You tugged your dress up. Definitley not the most revealing at the party but apparently it was enough.
"Its because you are not married" Dita told you, a comforting hand on your shoulder. "They are jealous" She smiled. It didnt make you feel better. You tried to focus on the drink in front of you.
The man from the house yelled joyfully and drunkenly in spanish and started walking toward the table. The men quickly stood up and met him halfway. Ushering him into a private room smoothly. Not before you made eye contact and he winked. You held your shudder.
The night went on and you found yourself almost having fun and forgetting the dangerous people around you.
You went to the bathroom as Devante and Dita danced.
You were looking for the bathroom when you felt a heavy hand on your waist. You jumped and turned. It was the man.
"Hello pretty women" he said with a accent slurred with the smell of strong alcohol that pinched your nose.
You backed up to find yourself against a wall. You started to look for a way out but his hand got harder on your waist, moving to hold your hip.
He leaned in speaking breathy spanish against your ear you couldnt understand on your best day. You took the opportunity to side step, noticing his henchmen about 10 ft away watching, glocks on their hips. The situation sank your stomach. You wouldnt be getting out of here.
"(Y/n) ive been looking everwhere for you." Dita shuffled past the man grabbing your arm and pulling you away. "Miguel needs to talk with you." She said louder than necesarry.
You were at a near jog down the hall. She stopped and turned you when you were safely away but not into the main area.
"Are you okay mija?" She held your hand. You felt tears welling.
"Men like that will ways exist and here, you will find them in abundance. It's important to stay close to us. They prey on the lone wolf okay?" You nodded. She wiped the tear you didnt know you shed.
She stayed with you till you calmed down.
"Brave face mija" she said as you walked back into the room, back to the table. Nestor and miguel were there looking directly at you, worried, trying to read your face. You forced a smile. Understanding what being in this family meant. It wasnt good. It wasnt bad. It was just your life now.
Nestor quickly sat next to you. Emily eyeing you, sympathetically. They were all too smart to not put together what happened. She touched your thigh, you flinched. She removed it. You could see she made a heartbroken face out the corner of your eyr but you couldnt bring yourself to meet her eyes.
"Im okay i promise. Just..shook up" you were honest. She nodded. You knew she felt terrible.
The night continued. Nestor wanted to kill him and he knew how he would do it. He shared looks with Miguel. He shook his head. Not yet. The second you walked out, holding ditas arm like it was the only thing keeping you up his stomach twisted. Rage ran down his back.
When he didnt see that bastard Diego and didnt see you, his mind raced and he was about to go down the hall to kill that fuck when Dita grabbed him.
"You can't. It has to be me." She didnt have to explain. He knew why. It killed him to turn around and walk away from the situation as his mind let dark thoughts in of what he was doing to you.
He kept looking at you, he could see you trying to be brave but under the table your leg was shaking and you were fidgeting with your hands.
"Come outside with me baby" he leaned over so only you could hear him.
You looked over at him standing with his hand out. You were thankful. Did he just call you baby? It sounded good coming out of his mouth.
You took his hand. It was calloused and strong. It calmed you down almost instantly as he led you outside. When people saw him coming they almost fell over themselves to move out of your way.
The cool air felt good on your flushed cheeks. He let go of your hand and led you to the balcony. You leaned on it, embracing the night air.
"Its really beautiful out here, all things considered." You chuckled.
He looked worringly at you, "Thank you Nestor." You grabbed his arm.
Fuck, his name sounded so good in your mouth.
"You're welcome." He watched as you leaned against the balcony. He wanted to touch you, tell you, youre beautiful but after what happened thats not what you needed and he knew it.
-------------------
You stayed like that for awhile, in each other's silence. The muffled sound of the mariachis relaxing you.
You felt your eyes getting heavy.
"Dont get tired now its not even 1am yet." You looked over, surprised he noticed.
"Maybe we can just stay out here all night then." You smiled at him.
Fuck he would do just about anything you asked. Crawl on glass in the snow, change your oil, anything as long as you kept smiling at him like that.
"But it's probably best to go inside right?" You sighed.
"I think so."
You grabbed his arm as you walked in, holding onto him and keeping your eyes on the table.
Time passed and you struggled to stay awake, you leaned on Nestor's shoulder without thinking, you froze. He moved over to make you more comfortable, moving his arm around you but not too much. You snuggled in. Damn he smelled good too. You closed your eyes, feeling people looking. Fuck em.
You were stirred up by Nestor rubbing your upper arm "hey, hey, time to go."
You stirred, never really falling asleep but not present for the end. Everyone was filing out slowly.
Nestor was looking over to Miguel and Diego. He shook Miguel's hand. He didn't look away as he put his coat over your shoulders and walked you all out.
You noticed Emily smirking at you, making eyes at Nestor's jacket around you.
You tried to open your mouth
"-Ah." She cut you off. "You don't need to tell me anything." She smiled.
You smiled back, happily getting in the warm car and doozing on and off on the way home, catching Nestor look at you in the rearview mirror made you blush.
You all made your way inside as you felt the emotional fatigue of the day in your legs.
Nestor was waiting by the front door. Not for you it seemed. Just taking a moment.
"Can i be out here with you for awhile?" You asked, ready for him to say anything.
"Yeah."
"Thanks for tonight, for taking care of me."
"I know you can take care of yourself (y/n). I just didn't want you to feel alone out there." He spoke softly, sitting next to you.
You stared at his face for the first time it seemed. He was beautiful. You dared to glance down at his lips.
He followed your eyes. He wouldn't move qn inch on you tonight. He didnt want to chance pushing you but fuck did he want you so bad.
You weren't used to initiating, you could see he wanted you but wouldnt move. You closed the distance, stopping just short to see if he'd react.
His head just barely titled up towards you, you took it and kissed him, you being the one to take control felt good. You wondered if he was usually like this.
He was gentle and sweet and you found yourself appreciating it tonight. You grabbed his face and you deepened the kiss.
You felt brave and stood up and sat down to straddle him. He grunted in the back of his throat as you grabbed his braid he moved his hands to hold your thigh and ass.
The kiss slowed down and he smiled into it. You laughed, dropping your head into his shoulder, touching your lips.
"Wow uh-" you got off him, laughing with him.
"Yeah" he laughed, grabbing your hand. "Let's go inside."
He dropped you off at your room which felt cute and a little ridiculous. It was fitting.
Words failed you and it seemed to him, as well.
"Goodnight." He said softly again.
"Good night Nestor." You replied closing your door, silently congratulating yourself for not dragging him into your room.
Whatever, give it a week. You smiled.
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What is Love to you? true love, soulmates, the one where you're meant for each other? They saw it's hard to describe but i am curious about what you think and believe it to be? Bonus : also give examples through love songs { bc i want to die of romance }
~To Me, LOVE is : ~
Love is patient bc it means you’re willing to fight for the one who holds those feelings over your hearts {s}. Love is having somebody to die for bc there is no risk that you wouldn’t put yourself through to make sure they were alive and s a f e even if they didn’t feel the same or did and wanted you okay too. Love is wanting to help them out of the darkness but willing to be their companion through out it so long as they are alone because they don’t deserve to be alone. Love is sweat , blood and tears: it’s knowing not every moment is going to be pleasant but it’s fighting everyday to keep it because what you two have is real, its true and genuine and nothing can take away how powerful and everlasting it feels. Love is refusing to ever let them go because the way you two feel about each other, seeing them with someone else? is a pain unlike anything else because it’s unthinkable. Love is them being the last thing you think of before you fall asleep and the first thing you think of when you wake up. Love is giving someone the power to break you but hoping and begging and trusting them not too , the fear and risk that you’re putting yourself out there and being vulnerable with the chance of getting broken BUT then they don’t and the utter happiness that you found your other half through the glories and madness of all of time and space regardless of where you two originate.
Love is kind and it’s sweet : its not afraid to show them off to everyone else, being so proud to have them and cherish them like they are the most precious thing in all of creation. Love is worth fighting for , its finding them worth fighting for because you think they deserve everything good: friends, family, a love, .. a hand to hold through the glories and madness of everything life has to offer. Love is fights and arguments, battles and tears : it’s not putting up with the person’s crap and calling them out on their shit but rather doing this together then being apart and losing each other. Love is overcoming the obstacles bc it makes you two stronger rather than break you two apart. Love is continuously trying to woo them even after you’re already together. Love is seeing past all their darkness ; not overlooking it but giving them chances when you see something in them they might not see in themself: something good, something so opposite then what they might act on the outside. Love is seeing them through to their core : for all their good, their pain, their happiness, their dark side. Love is there being no darkness strong enough to ever make you two let ago, to tear you two from each other’s hearts. Love is never letting go, Love is there being nothing having the strength to take away what you two have.
Love is brave, because it gives you a rush, an edge : it makes you want to stand on something of the tallest height and scream about how happy you are. Love is dancing together , not needing music at three am in the kitchen. Love is slow passionate kisses as you bask in the warmth of each other close and the love you put into the softness of the lips moving together. Love is holding hands like a perfect fit as if they were made to be. Love is laughing together and embracing the good moments as they come because they could be gone in an instant. Love is each other’s smile that feels like it lights up their whole face with a sparkle to their eyes. Love is your soul and your hearts, everything in you going : ‘Oh that’s the one for me.” Love is where you go, i go. Love is i will always find you, its you and me always. Love doesn’t judge because its you seeing not just the good sides of each other but the w o r s t. Willingness to understand and listen and be there and comfort... to be their shoulder to cry on, to offer to be their bag to let loose their anger but them refusing to let you see them like that, refusing to hurt you. Love is doing anything to make them laugh and cheer up.
Love is the passion, the fiery intensity, the heated lingering gazes. Love is the feeling of static electricity making everything feel on edge when you two are in distance of each other. Everything around feeling like a barrier but the urge to say FUCK IT and move towards them and let loose your feelings and kiss them and claim them as your own. Love is making love : wanting to worship them like they are the most precious, rare and special of treasures. Love is not being afraid to go rougher, harder, to mark your claim on the one you love and care for because they trust you. Love is while not putting up with their crap, its also defending their honor when they weren't worthy of aggressors for whatever reason. Love is when their is a worry of hurt or loss or danger of the one you love, it's running to them, no hesitation determination and anyone having to hold you back but helpless in the end as you’re all protective and badass and fierce as you’d make anyone regret hurting them. You would want to be their shining savior but also be proud of their accomplishments like “that’s my ____ “ . Love is being able to communicate with looks alone without even needing to speak. Love is all you ever wanted being right there in front of you, maybe even when you were too blind and oblivious to see it.
To some, The best kind of love is the one that starts with friends because you have that additional closeness that comes from all with friendship from a platonic aspect which makes the crossover to romance even more sweeter and intense bc its like a slow-motion realization moment with flashbacks of history together and you realize and you’re in love and its like “oh shit.” Love is regardless of dimension, reality, universe?? You and them will always find each other because you’re connected. Love is finding your other half who knows you better than yourself besides yourself and your family. Love is running hand in hand , embracing everything to come t o g e t h e r. When love is really and truly real, it always finds a way. Love is not being able to imagine them not in your life and wanting them to be apart of it. Love is even when one is reckless and stupid and the other patches them up and scolds them, there is the sexual tension and the loving worrying softness. Love is not walking away when things get tough. Maybe its something in the way they talk, move, carry themselves but the feelings they inspire makes you want them to stay because you can’t live without them. Technically you could but why would you want to and if they feel the same, why should you two have to live without each other??
Love is continously falling in love with them all over again. Love is wanting them to meet your family bc you want them apart of it , for your family to love them and see what you see in them. Love is having products of your two’s love in little ones you two would be parents of in your own chaotic but brilliantly lovely way. Love is seeing them as this person worth cherishing, seeing that they have flaws so they are not perfect, someone else they think you would wish them to be BUT THATS THE POINT, they are them, they are worth cherishing and the fact that they have flaws makes you love them more. Why would you want them to be perfect?? Love is them making you feel in a way no one else ever can or could. Love is being unashamedly, recklessly, irrevocably, head and hearts and souls and body over everything, crazily, madly, dangerously, chaotically in love and lust with someone. Perhaps you would see love as wanting to save someone, finding them worth fighting for, appealing for a better nature that they might not have but the truth is, you make them feel and they want it to STOP. They refuse to have a weakness but at the same time, losing you?? They don’t want to lose the feeling you give and they are scared to give in and give a chance and try and be vulnerable But its them trusting and there being a better outcome than they hoped and if you hurt, they hurt. If they hurt, then you hurt. 
True love, soulmates, the one for you, your other half, everything you ever wanted, your missing puzzle piece, your happiness and happy place, your anchor, your always and forever, your ‘its me and you no one else’ , your ‘i will always find you, we will always find each other.”, etc ????? Love is being each other’s light and anchor, knowing and trusting and being vulnerable, not giving up or abandoning the other. Love cherishes and it trusts, it isnt cruel or cowardly. It is brave and it is scary, it is its own adventure that some fear to tread out of fear of hurt. Love is endless respect, being proud and supportive, standing by one another’s side feeling like there is nothing that couldnt be done or accomplished together. Love is a promise that you never break. Love is endless and it is just... so much romance and cherishing and care and affection it would make your teeth rot out your head. It’s basking in happiness and feeling genuine peace. Love is the feeling of home with them. Love isn’t easy but it is always worth it because if you ever lost it, it can never be replaced. Love is thinking in an argument or fight that one is going to walk away and its going to be a brutal heartbreaking ending when instead its a denial, grabbing them and pulling them into you and working through the issues and showing your love. Love is rewriting the stars to where anything can be yours together regardless of what anyone else might think. Love is running together and running to each other. Love is comfort.  Love is the feelings between you two better than anything in your dreams , tv shows, movies because its repeatedly experienced in dreams instead of watching it happen unconscious or through a screen, its right there in front of you.
Love is being made for each other, nothing can keep you two apart because you two were meant to find each other. Its up to you two. { im starting to write lyrics, dont judge me.} Love is feeling so much for the person but afraid to show it and the now or never , you never know if you dont try feelings bc once its gone, its g o n e. Love is choosing your own destiny and choosing one together. Love is a PROMISE : its swearing to each other in love, affection, care, honesty and trust, your bodies and your hearts. Love is not needing to be anything fake or dramatic or title like with each other as you two might be different around others, its just being able to be your two, just ______ and _______ {youre names ; just two hopelessly in love, living life together }  Love is even if you two were physically seperated, nothing in your love to break it would change. A true love story never ends.
Love is always and forever. 
{I could go on in continuation about what love is additionally to me but here is this to start with ^____^ }
-A
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Love songs? : 
1) My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion
{ think the scene in Titanic where Jack and Rose watch each other in slow motion as she got on the boat and decided to jump off back onto the sinking ship to go back to him ‘ the sadness of other passengers crying and escaping, saying goodbye. Her and Jack when they immediately reunited. ; Additionally its “I’ll never let go.” Its even in death, jts you two because youll find each other again. Its swearing to their promises they want you to make and you do. }
2) Brave by Tawgs Salter
3) Everything by LifeHouse
4) I Won’t Let You Go by Switchfoot
5) All I Ever Wanted by John Tyree
6) Rewrite The Stars by Zac Efron and Zendaya from The Greatest Showman
7) Crazy In Love by Sofia Karlberg {Cover}
8) Stay by Rihanna
9) Perfect, Give Me Love, Kiss Me & Thinking Out Loud ... ALL by Ed Sheeran
10) Somebody To Die For : Hurts
11) The Other Side by Ruelle
{ just a few songs to kill ya of feels ;) }
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insomnihan · 5 years
Text
han’s Entire Thoughts and Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “Deja Vu”
youtube
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
MY TIME HAS COME 2.0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FULL INSOMNIA MODE DONT. LOOK. AT. ME.
there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
ALRIGHT SO-
THE SONG OKAY LETS JUMP RIGHT INTO IT i wasnt expecting something lowkey sad BUT im not mad at it!!!!!!!!!! i had conflicting emotions when i desperately wanted to cry but also headbang?????? HOWEVER thanks to force and air the tears in my eyes were drying as i headbanged- LIKE this song really PUT ME THROUGH IT like that chorus didnt have tO DO ME LIKE THAT™!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT THEN THE VERSES AND THE PRE-CHORUSES WERE SLOW (and the bridge but bridges be like that in nearly all songs) WHICH IM ACTUALLY REALLY INTO it was like being in a roller coaster with the verses being the slow hill and the chorus was the fall THAT PIANO GOES HARD...................... but like in a soft way????? DONT ASK ME WHAT IM SAYING IS IM A HOE™ FOR PIANO THOSE DRUMS DURING THE CHORUS STOP IT I CANNOT I FELT THEM VIBRATE THROUGH MY BONES
like i DEADASS have nothing to criticize or change about this song its PERFECTLY FINE AS IT IS (except for like more gahyeon and dami????? pls??????)
siyeon starting the song.......................... thank you.............. I STILL STAND BY SAYING I WOULD LISTEN TO HER VOICE FOR LITERALLY FOREVER HER VOICE DURING THE CHORUS QUEEN OF SINGING CHORUSES OH BUT THEN THAT HIGH NOTE ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????? SHE DIDNT HAVE TO KILL ME LIKE THIS BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH I- and now....... im in the deja vu P L E A S E
gaaaaaaaahhhyeeeeeooonnnn her voice is so pretty!!!!!!!!!!! BUT I WANT MORE!!!!!!!!!! HOWEVER youre the second one to sing with this beautiful gentleness of a part and to be honest this part paired with siyeon starting it really eases you into the song and its quite the blessing to hear thanks- and then yknow this part right after handong........................... Heaven™
SPEAKING OF HANDONG LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE AMOUNT OF LINES SHE HAS MAKES ME WANNA CRY OKAY THIS PART RIGHT HERE............................. PLS.............. (i think its just me but theres a smaller voice singing like right under her voice????) HER PRE-CHORUS PARTS ARE LITERALLY THE BEST PARTS IN THE WHOLE SONG TO LISTEN TO pls believe me when i say this its NOT bc shes my ultimate bias like i genuinely like her parts the most
sua pls i was already prepared for softer vocals and you really gave that to me and then this is absolute perfection they were beautiful and amazing OF COURSE got me feeling like i was floating on actually clouds god TAHNK YOU AND THEN YOU JUST HAD TO HIT ME WITH YOUR PART RIGHT HERE???? i understand its just the chorus but I Felt That™ okay!!!!!!
JIU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i stand by saying how your voice be powerful as hell still even during these lines VERY short but VERY effective and very good leading into the chorus i love- and then your bridge....................... B I C T H really put me in my feelings but i welcome it with EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING and with open arms.......................
YOOHYEON AKA THE OTHER QUEEN OF SINGING CHORUSES I MEAN..................................... I LITERALLY DUNNO WHAT TO SAY!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE THEIR BEAUTIFUL SOUNDING HER VOICE GOES WELL WITH THEM like i really like the parts she sings after siyeon like................. Y O O F if a feather became a voice-
i need more dami too..................... P L E A S E like obviously with their other songs i was expecting dami to be in the second verse and with a smooth rap section and the former was correct HOWEVER to my pleasant surprise SHE SANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! her singing voice suited this SO MUCH and im actually glad there wasnt a rap part at all in this song especially that SECOND PART.................. Heaven™ 2x
my favorite lyrics (x): i know i said handongs were my favorite to listen to but i like these lines dont hurt me
난 이 숨결이 허락되는 날까지 As long as I can breathe 다신 너를 놓을 수 없어 I can’t let go of you again 우린 모든 순간 함께 할 테니 We’ll be together for every moment 내 곁에서 beside me
THE DANCE OKAY IM GONNA DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT ill be referring to THIS PERFORMANCE can we pls talk about how loud the fanchant is im crying and really take it in and all of their talented glory ANYWAY OF COURSE the choreography F UKCING SLAPS just so many different position changes and just alwaYS SO IN SYNC WITH EACH OTHER ITS INSANE ill just list them briefly and keep the points short this is long enough:
THE BEGINNING AND THE END BEING THE SAME...................... CERTAINLY DEJA VU-
SIYEONS TUTTING THING THANKS
handongs majestic spin
this and this with how the formation changes and how their arms swing AND the kick
ALSO in those parts in the last bullet i dunno why but i like that move jiu does when she sings IT HITS
i recall sua spoiling literally the first move of the chorus dance in that vlive THE CHORUS DANCE ALL THOSE FORMATION CHANGES LITERALLY MESS ME UP and THIS most important move in the entire choreography and they line up and its SO COOL to look at
when they lie on each other doing yoohyeons lines
handongs part again when theyre in the line and how satisfying it is to watch
THE ENTIRE BRIDGE
LITERALLY THE ENTIRE DANCE FROM START TO FINISH
QUEENS OF STABILITY
sidenote: can we talk about how handong and dami?????? literally spin during their parts????? and they sounded super clear??????
THE VISUALS SO.......................... if you had asked me two days ago (maybe a little bit of yesterday) about how i felt about this video.................. i wouldve mentioned some unpopular opinions regarding the videos look............ i mentioned to gwen @loonapunk that i wasnt TOO into it............ BUT- after finally sitting down to do this long ass post i dont hate it!!!!!!!!!!!! i think bc i have to remind myself that this song (album???? well song-) is for that kings raid game and all the visuals AND story are based off that????? i dunno BUT WHAT I DO KNOW IS I LIKE TO WATCH IT
IM TOO BIG STUPID™ TO COMPREHEND THIS STORYLINE AND COME UP WITH MY OWN THEORIES EVEN NOW AND I WOULD L O V E TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU BUT THIS IS LONG ENOUGH AS IT IS SO ILL REDIRECT YOU TO THEORY POSTS (TWO (2) FROM MY GALAXY BRAIN MOOTS) THAT I LIKED:
@highsomnia NITAS POST WHICH I PERSONALLY FOUND ENJOYABLE TO READ SO IF YOU COULD READ THIS YOU SHOULD ALSO READ THAT
@in-somnias ELENAS POST WHICH WAS ALSO AN INTERESTING READ RIGHT HERE
AND THEN THIS ONE THAT WAS ORIGINALLY FROM TWITTER i dont follow her so im not gonna @
AIIGHT IMMA GO CRAZY WITH THESE SHOTS (with only small one/two sentence captions this is LONG ENOUGH):
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BICTH I SAW THIS AND KNEW I WAS GONNA GET GOT™ like its just super duper INCREDIBLY PRETTY TO LOOK AT
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THIS WILL BE FOREVER ICONIC™ DONT ARGUE WITH ME
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this is what the calm before the storm looks like
went back to the mv film making video and turns out they got slippers on under that table love that for them
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how in the hell am i supposed to interpret this exchange
okay longer section i think im supposed to interpret this more as a sister bond than a romantic one?????? i remember being taken aback and believed this to be something gay BUT 99.9% OF INSOMNIAS say its gay subtext so ill just put it like that i dunno but like i just wanna say they have beautiful smiles and im love them!!!
a youtuber reacting to this mv saying it just looks like theyre shading each other.................... anyway-
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i CANNOT i repeat I CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU how Shook™ i was when i saw this for the first time i basically jumped out of my chair i couldnt i-
this mv really led me to believe jiu was the evil one.............................
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POETIC. CINEMA.
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THE WOMAN. THE MYTH. THE LEGEND. THE FIREBENDER. THE WOLF. LEE SIYEON. pls light me up
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Symbolism™................ SYMBOLISM I CANNOT COMPREHEND GO TO THE THEORIES
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MORE SYMBOLISM GO TO THE THEORIES
T H E M
NOT ONLY IS THIS VIDEO SUPER AESTHETIC™ BUT THE SEVEN (7) MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN THE WORLD BLESSING US ONCE AGAIN WITH THEIR PRESENCE AND ALLOWED THEIR ROYALTY VIBES SHOOT INTO THE MESOSPHERE INTO REAL LIFE KILLING ALL OF US
THE DANCING SCENES WITH THE TEASER OUTFITS...................................... AT EASE.....................
LITERALLY NO COMPLAINTS MOVING ON:
JIU
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L I S T E N KIM MINJI YOURE A FULL PRINCESS this pink fluffy dress with the flower crown in this picture............................ i may have cried- like a lot of people were trying this look to persephone and im HERE for that concept for her and like the white outfit AND black outfit is probably super symbolic again im too Big Stupid™ anyway when i saw that black outfit in the teaser........................... i was attacked jiu with a sword is just EVERYTHING i wanted and more
SUA
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LITERALLY I CANNOT- her hair being wavy looks SO GOOD on her THIS BLACK DRESS WITH THE FLOWERS she is always a Serve™ WE KNOW THAT but her visuals just HIT DIFFERENT this time lighter colored hair really suits her and then of course she looks FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC in the dance scenes in the white and the black that low pony tail pls
SIYEON
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purple on this woman just shoulders and collarbones out being Beautiful™ ALL THE WHILE staying ON BRAND with herself and was wearing pants good for her G O D i just love the way her hair looks in the white and gold outfits like it just LOOKS PRETTY to me i dunno how to describe it also her with a pony tail WHAT ARE YOU SO PRETTY FOR-
HANDONG
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i just................... want closer shots of this.................. CLOSER SHOTS IN GENERAL OF HER ACTUALLY like LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL™ SHE LOOKS HERE I WANNA SEE MORE OF IT??????? PLS??????? nothing gets me weaker than her hair being styled exactly like in the picture i just love that her royalty and regal vibes and looks were FINALLY realized and WAS BROUGHT TO THE FOREFRONT
YOOHYEON
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THIS MV MUST CONVINCE ME SHE IS EVIL BY SHOWING HER FOREHEAD first of all the first outfit turning her into an Actual Entire Princess™/Queen™ that red one i dont really understand SHE MAKES IT WORK THO THEN THAT BLACK OUTFIT LISTEN yo it was like getting hit by a whole truck full speed i wasnt ready and i just wanna admire that yoohyeon and gray colored hair is an actual match made in heaven i just have to say-
DAMI
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i love this suit and the patten on it so much this outfits color (what is that teal????) and her hair color is such a GOOD PAIRING and on her SHE JUST KILLED ME WITH HER SOLO SCENES i wish i had more to say about her and her outfits but what else can i say other than that she is INSANELY ATTRACTIVE AND I WANT HER TO STEP ON ME???????
GAHYEON
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she really broke my neck when i saw her the first time LIKE DEADASS LOOK AT THIS PICTURE i had fallen for her and i cannot get up when i saw this outfit in the other shots like the black top and the see through sleeves but her skirt is like different colors she really Served™ in this outfit bangs usually look cute but in her solo parts she was coming for my heart like miss lee gahyeon pls-
BONUS TIME: B-SIDE TRACKS (just short thoughts and point out specific parts i liked lmao)
Intro:
their intros always slap are you kidding me-
The curse of the Spider
i wasnt ready for this bop to slap me in the face on my spotify that chorus didnt have to do that to me THAT GUITAR DIDNT HAVE TO DO THAT TO ME i love the way dami and handong sound in this song i mean wrow-
favorite lyrics (x):
소름이 끼칠 만큼 It’s chilling 도망치고 싶어질 it makes me want to run away 그런 두려움일 테니 such is this fear
Silent Night
B I H C T i knew when i heard this in the highlight it was going to be my favorite one IT REALLY WOKE SOMETHING IN ME these lyrics i cant- gahyeon and handong hurted me with their lower registers Y AL L YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HURTED ME THAT D R O P DID
favorite lyrics (x):
겨��� 칼 끝은 a blade directed at someone 결국 돌아오게 돼 eventually returns 더 다가오지 마 don’t come closer
Polaris
this song is as if i was wrapped in the thickest blanket i got and im resting on the softest bed in the world with a fireplace going nearby and i could finally rest peacefully bc the lord knows i need it- i really cried a little bit listening to this pls leave me be i legit cant pick a specific member i liked the most for this song i just love it and everything it got
favorite lyrics (x):
그게 너라서 행복해 I’m happy that it’s you 그 많은 인연 속에 Among those numerous connections 수많은 사람 중에 Among those numerous people
LIKE im so completely satisfied with every song on this album and im completely in love with it!!!!!!!!!! the only ‘issue’ i really had was with the mv visually but as you read i warmed up to it lmao LIKE IM JUST SO PROUD OF THESE WOMEN AND HOW TALENTED AND HARDWORKING THEY ARE like i have to say the japanese release?????? and this????? being so close to each other????? you telling me they learned TWO (2) different choreographies one after the other???? i absolutely love this album and i desperately desperately DESPERATELY want so much more success for them bc ITS WHAT THEY DESERVE!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is supposed to be just about the overall mv and deja vu but i might as well just type what i feel lmao
IN CONCLUSION: MY INSOMNIA ASS IS BOTH ALIVE AND DEAD BUT MOSTLY ALIVE I LOVE THIS IM STREAMING
i have to bring this back its relevant again:
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40 notes · View notes
heyitsyn · 4 years
Text
Oh God
TimeTraveler!Son x Haikyuu!! Part 2
a/n: hehe i wouldnt put ‘x haikyuu’ if manager y/n ends up with that certain character. youll just have to,,,, wait for the end 😏
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he didnt want to lie but he had to so he could survive
hinata offered his hand to help him up and natsu winced at the scratches and the slight headache as he stood on his two feet
‘you okay?’
hinata asked and natsu nodded
‘yea, just a headache’
natsu tried to play it off as cooly as he could bc this must’ve been from the car hit before and he couldnt just say he got ran over by a damn car
‘where do you live? i can go and treat your wounds there’
natsu was about to respond but he remembers hes not in tokyo anymore and he cant just spout out his address
so he did the thing his mom told him to do whenever it was necessary
he lied
‘i-um,,,’
he fumbled for an excuse but he sighed to maintain the act
‘i got kicked out’
he mumbled and hinata had to make him repeat it twice because he said it so quietly
the tangerine boy gasped and held his arms
‘what?! why?!’
natsu sniffled
‘my dad,,,, he just,,, doesnt want me’
well, that was actually true
so a true statement could equal that lie, right?
thankfully, hinata bought it and he grabbed his arm to walk forward while his other was pushing his bike
‘i hit you with my bike so the least i could do is take you to my house and treat you!’
and that was what they did
natsu’s phone was dead even though he was sure he charged it from denki’s powerbank during practice but it remained its black screen no matter how many times he hit the power button
his surroundings was also something unfamiliar
his mother only kept him in tokyo and never took him to go visit her family because she was kicked out and had to go live with her auntie when she found out about him and his father refused to help her
‘so, sendai, huh?’
he mumbled and hinata looked at him confused
‘sounds like youre not from around here. where you from?’
‘t-tokyo’
he replied and saw hinata’s eyes brighten
‘oh?! you look like youre my age so you must have been in a high school in tokyo, right? what school?’
‘yuuei’
‘hah?! yuuei?! what is that?!’
natsu rolled his eyes and shrugged
‘a school’
hinata persisted though
‘do you know other schools?! any other school friends?! like nekoma?! or fukurodani?!’
natsu shook his head and he was supposed to be happy that he got to meet, even talk, to his idol yet his younger self was much more hyper than his mellowed out behavior on tv
‘i stick to my friends from yuuei’
‘but what are you doing all the way here?’
natsu’s throat dried up and he watched his feet kick the pebbles to distract him of his urge to just whine and throw a tantrum with the confusion from this mess
‘i dont know’
he choked out and he was so tired and confused and all he wants to do is cry in his mother’s arms like he used to but she doesnt even know he exists
hinata sensed the tension and sadness from the boy beside him and tried his best to stay quiet until they get home
to say his mom was angry was an understatement
‘SHOYO, DONT YOU KNOW TO WATCH WHERE YOURE GOING?!’
‘kaa-san i was so angry and bakageyama was yelling at me and hit me and-’
‘THAT DOESNT GIVE YOU AN EXCUSE TO RUN SOMEONE OVER!’
natsu sat there on their couch awkwardly watching the black-haired woman yell at the human tangerine
he coughed in impulse and she turned away from her son and went to sit next to the h/c boy
‘dear, im so sorry for my son and his terrible biking. i didnt catch your name when you entered, what is it?’
even hinata forgot to ask his name but thats such a hinata thing to do though
natsu froze
if he was to say his mother’s last name, it would raise suspicion that he might know her in this time period and izuku has shown him enough doctor who to show him what happens when he messes up in time
again, he lied
‘kiri,,,shima,,, natsu. kirishima natsu’
he inwardly apologized to eijirou for using his last name
mrs. hinata raised a hand to her mouth with a surprised gasp
‘oh! my daughter’s name is also natsu! natsu, dear! can you come here for a second?’
natsu heard soft sounds from the stairs and she shyly walked down 
‘come say hi’
she softly urged her daughter to come closer and the little girl ran to hide behind her older brother who gently smiled and held her hand
‘well, thats her. she just turned 10 a few days ago. look dear, kirishima-kun has the same name as you!’
she waved slightly and natsu felt his heart swell at the sight of the adorable little girl
his mother never really had time for relationships so he was an only child and never got to experience a sibling, only hearing the experience of having siblings from his friend, shouto
mrs. hinata placed a gentle hand on his arm to revert his attention back to her
‘shoyo told me what happened and im sorry that this is all happening to you’
he felt guilty at the sight of her sad eyes because this was all a lie but he knew if he told them the real reason, they wouldnt believe him
so he had to continue with the lie
‘everything was falling apart and i wanted to leave everything behind. so i just took the shinkansen to nowhere and ended up here’
mrs. hinata felt her heart tug because he was just a little boy and he was too young to experience this so she offered him something he shouldnt have agreed to but again, survival
‘you can stay with us in the mean time. our guest room has been collecting dust so you can live here’
‘what? no! i can’t!’
natsu instinctually turned it down because he hated people giving him charity
but the woman squeezed his arm to give him a smile
‘i will not allow a child to live in the streets because of something he couldnt help’
‘arent you worried youre inviting a total stranger in your home?’
but she gave him a knowing smile
‘im a mother. i can trust you, boy’
in exchange for board and food, he promised to get a part time job so he could pay her back and get out of their house as quickly as he could
shoyo led him to the bathroom upstairs so he could treat the wounds from the ground
natsu sat on the closed toilet seat while his literal idol was putting cream on his boo-boos
he still cant wrap his head with everything
maybe it was because he was so busy trying to come up with lies that he wasnt able to fully sit down and think about the fact that he just TRAVELED BACK IN TIME and could accidentally change it
‘shoyo, what year is it?’
he mumbled
‘2012′
he answered and natsu sighed but his head perked up
oh god
2012
thats a year away from 2013
the year he was born
that meant shoyo’s team manager was going to give birth to him next year
‘why? did you hit your head so far that you forgot?’
hinata joked but he paled when natsu didnt laugh
‘OH GOD DID YOU?!’
‘NO! AND STOP YELLING!’
natsu shouted, equally surprised
‘whew, thank god. again, im so sorry i hit you’
‘shoyo, dont worry about it, okay? im fine, i swear’
during dinner, mrs. hinata told him about his school situation
‘you can go to karasuno with shoyo. what year were you in?’
‘first’
‘perfect! shoyo is too so he could easily help you around the school!’
natsu nodded quietly, still out of it and his brain finally starting to accept this impossible reality
‘but i dont think i could help you with the entrance exams. im not the most-um-smartest, per se’
shoyo apologized but natsu already knew that
he was no extreme fanatic but he knew quite a lot about hinata shoyo, the player he watched during the 2021 olympics and the reason he started playing volleyball
natsu dreamed to join the msby jackals just like his idol did and eventually reach the national team like hinata did
it was during the olympics of 2021, he knew he wanted to be like him
this boy who sat next to him was the reason he came to love volleyball along with his other idol, oikawa tooru, from the argentina volleyball team after seeing that legendary match 
when oikawa hit that service ace, natsu wanted to be able to receive that
he was merely 8 and his neighbor, midoriya inko, was babysitting him and she placed him and her son who was his friend, izuku, in front of the tv where they watched the olympics match
‘someday, ill be someone great. ill be great like him’
he promised and from then on, he worked to achieve that goal 
‘natsu? hello?’
he was shaken from his thoughts as shoyo nudged him back to reality
mrs. hinata laughed
‘maybe you should head to bed early, dear. you must be tired after having a hard journey’
he nodded and was about to go and wash his dishes when she stopped him
‘no. go and sleep, ill take care of this’
‘i have to do my part in here, hinata-san. please, let me do this’
she finally agreed and he was scrubbing the plates when his mind wandered over to possible solutions on how he could go back
there was an episode that he watched with izuku that the character had to do something to go back
and he had a feeling that he would have to do the same thing
but what would that something be?
there had to be a reason he was thrown all the way in this time and it couldnt just be a coincidence that supposedly, this would be around the same time his mother would get pregnant
but who would it be?
he finished putting the plates on the drying rack and he felt really thirsty suddenly
opening the fridge, he found no water bottles and natsu had a very sensitive stomach so he couldnt drink tap water
his next favorite beverage was there and he pulled a glass from the cabinet
‘hinata-san, is it okay if i can have some milk?’
he called out and she shouted that it was okay
natsu poured the drink on his glass and started drinking it when hinata entered the kitchen and snickered at him
‘yknow, you remind me of my idiot teammate. none of my other friends drink straight milk except for him’
natsu placed the glass down and wiped his lips
‘chocolate milk make me sick and i hate the taste of flavoring in milk. but i just hate flavoring in general. except for gari gari popsicles, those are good’
natsu reasoned, watching hinata move across the room to get an apple
‘still ew. but come on! lets go to bed so i can show you around school early before practice tomorrow!’
natsu noticed his excitement by the way he bounced in place and he chuckled
it reminded him of his friends mina and denki
hinata led them both to his room so he could check his wounds again just to make sure
then something caught his eye
‘kirishima-kun you like volleyball?!’
that threw him off
partly because he wasnt used to being called by his friend’s last name
but also because of the question
‘huh? how do you know that?’
natsu asked, almost defensively
hinata shrugged
‘i saw your volleyball shoes in your bag’
hinata reasoned and excitedly pointed at them
‘you should play for us! im part of the team too! oh oh! what position do you play?!’
‘l-libero’
natsu stuttered out, slightly overwhelmed by hinata’s energy
hinata started circling him, inspecting his height and looking at him up and down
‘yanno, kirishima-kun, youre really tall. like much taller than the rest of my club. maybe not saltyshima but really!! youre so tall!!’
hinata whined in envy and natsu laughed
‘blame it on the paternal side of the family. my ma isnt really tall’
he laughs but then memories of his mother resurfaced and he suddenly felt gloomy, guilty, even, bc he doesnt know if time stopped there or it kept going and if so, shes probably worried sick
and he knew she was always one who blamed herself
hinata noticed his downcast expression and thought he probably remembers his dad and got sad since he got kicked out
so our baby sunshine freaked out and he frantically waved his hands around
‘oh no! gomen kiri-kun! gomen! i really didnt mean to make you think about him! gomen!!!’
he even bowed which surprised the h/c boy and made him stand back up
‘o-oi shoyo! dont! you didnt because i wasnt thinking about him!’
he fussed and patted hinata’s hair
‘i dont care about him. to be honest, there isnt much to think about’
he didnt think about what he said until he heard himself
natsu’s eyes widened, fearful of how hinata could take it but he flinched when the orange-haired boy’s eyes were filled with his own tears
‘OH NO!! KIRI-KUN!!!’
then launched another series of apologies and natsu had to calm him down
oh dear
it was early in the morning like 5 when hinata bursted into natsu’s room
the loud shout of shoyo made his eyes blink open and he groaned before turning to the side
‘come on, kiri-kun! we need to go to take your exam!’
‘nooooooooo’
‘yeeessssssss’
it was quite a battle for hinata to even just get natsu out of bed but he managed to bribe the latter with some milk bread from the bakery down the street
‘2′
natsu showed his two fingers and hinata sighed before nodding
‘yes. now go hurry so we can leave!’
dressed in his grey sweatpants and a yuuei sweatshirt, natsu cursed as he only has clothes good for 2 days and he didnt want to bother the hinatas so he was at a loss
mrs hinata bid the two boys good bye and natsu was yawning and dragging his body to walk while hinata was skipping over to his bike
then he finally realized the problem
he nervously looked at natsu and the taller boy didnt understand why he was looking at him that way
‘what?’
shoyo pointed at the bike and awkwardly smiled
‘uh,,, you see,,, i dont think youd,,, fit,,, at the back seat’
natsu shrugged
‘then ill bike. ive done it before’
he sauntered over to the bike and swiftly lifted his leg before testing out the brake handles
‘its good and better than mine back home’
‘a-are you-’
‘sit down, sho’
hinata gripped on to the back of natsu’s sweatshirt as he told him the directions to how to get to the school
natsu remembered watching an interview of hinata talking about his high-school life and he remembered the star player talking about his dedication to go to karasuno everyday for volleyball
and the boy couldn’t believe hes doing that right now, with his idol literally behind him, and driving to the legendary karasuno high school
from the jackals to the adlers and even some other teams like the frogs, natsu cheered for them
there was a memory of his mother sitting with him on their couch during one of her rare day offs as they rewatched the recorded copy of the olympics
it has become natsu’s favorite thing to watch
‘with great talent comes great hardships. people don’t become good overnight and i watched those people suffer through it all but look where they are now’
‘KIRISHIMA, WATCH OUT! COWS CROSSING!’
natsu was snapped out of his thoughts at hinata’s shout
then it morphed into pure and utter confusion
‘cows?’
shoyo laughed
‘since youre from the city, this must be a weird sight for you, huh? well, in the countryside, this happens a lot!’
but natsu didnt mind
in fact, he loved cows
he loved any farm animal in general
maybe it was his upbringing in the hustle and bustle of the city that he grew to love the countryside
shoto took him with his family to a trip to the country once and he remembered loving the smell of grass
they were able to do an activity in a farm where they worked in a rice farm and the peace and serenity was something he will always remember
his mother was lucky she grew up in a place like this
‘kiri-kun, ive been wanting to ask, how is your volleyball team in the city? are you a powerhouse?’
natsu felt pride bubble up in his chest
‘of course! we got second place in nationals!’
he boasted and blurted out before he could stop himself
then he felt fear
he shouldnt have said that because for all he knows, yuuei probably doesn’t exist at this time period
hinata had a different reaction and his eyes shone
‘WHAT?! WOAH! SO COOL! I HAVE TO TELL OUR CAPTAIN THAT WE’RE GETTING A POWERHOUSE STUDENT!’
‘uh-i-uh-’
natsu didnt know what to say because he had a feeling he definitely just did an oopsie
so he switched topics really quick to divert the attention away from his past
‘o-oi sho, once youre done being a pro volleyball player and stuff, we should have our own rice farm’
of course it was such a random idea but it distracted the orange boy
hinata shrugged
‘i mean,,, i have to be a pro first but i guess we can!’
‘hmm,,,, i dont think you have to worry about that’
.................................................
taglist:
@hartbeat-art​ @yakus-yakult​ @nerdyphantomlady​ @jollycowboysaladhero​ @cynicallychaotic​ 
a/n: oh god this sat in my drafts for so long and i really dont know what im doing like i kinda have a rough outline of what im doing but im just going with the flow but i dont think the flow is quite flowy 
146 notes · View notes
rqs902 · 5 years
Text
qcyn ep 11 -- can you believe the finale is tomorrow?!?
this whole texting section was so funnyyyy and i will honorably mention yet again that yao chi texting mc jin in english is so sweet
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li ronghao torturing xu longhan iS HIALRIOSUS 
 but i also pity the poor child LOOL
wait can we talk about chen tao’s spelling timao LOL
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and chen sijian’s face LOLLL
omg yao mingming’s message is so aww... he mentions liking yixing since he debuted in 2012.......
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omgggg fjj and wang yi theyre all so cute and screamy and i loveee 
WAIT CAN WE TALK ABOUT LIN MO AND WANG YI’S HAPPY DANCE
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oh gosh the8 is really showing us how hard seventeen works to get their choreo super in sync wow they really must work so hard.... wow minghao giving up the center position bc he knows how important this is to these kids... he deserves more recognition as a great mentor wow
oh my goodness.......... li zhenning’s voice shaking as he says to shi mingze “if you can get into top 20, then you’ll have hope” is.... the most heartbreaking......... knowing that shi mingze doesnt.......... they literally were smiling as they went off into this corner to talk and are crying by the time they come out..... can you just imagine how much sadness and stress is constantly looming over these kids’ heads and tearing down at their mental health?? its all hidden and suppressed, but with really fragile borders, so as soon as you pick at the walls, their raw emotions come bursting through... 
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this just reminds me that even tho shi mingze is their cool, handsome leader, hes still the youngest in bg project............
can we please talk about how considerate of a friend li zhenning is and has been?? 
and this all took place before zhenning ever ranked into top 9.... so to them, this opportunity wouldve been really important for zhenning too, bc maybe he wouldve really needed it to get into top 9. but at least we know now.... he has enough popularity that they made the correct choice and hopefully more people will notice shi mingze as a result
ZHAN YU’S ARMSSSSSSSSS bo yuan’s hair!! i really like it!!!! wen yechen in pink!!!!!! his voice is so addicting i just wanna hear more of it... it dont matter that zhenning isnt center, he still shines :)) wait wu zelin’s voice i really liked it in retreat and we get even more vocal-like wu zelin here! thats a realy nice purple on qunfeng, hes really rocking this look SHI MINGZE I SAW THAT WINK frick minghao’s dancing is just so satisfying to watch wowow
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man he looks so good
wow i live for random zhan yu reactions (imma just collect them here LOL)
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after journey and mc jin’s friendship is so cute hahahaha
ok i see why elle thinks chen tao is a visual
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wang zhe and wu chengze have both really improved in their stage presence throughout the course of this show aw deng chaoyuan looks the happiest we’ve ever seen him on stage haha zhou shiyuan’s voice is really so cool 
i guess we’ll never find out why gu landi is in mc jin’s group..... is it bc yao chi is here? im sorry i love this song and i love a lot of the kids in this group but can you just imagine how much better this stage would’ve been if it were with more kids who had experience rapping....? last year’s “zero” stage just made such a bigger impression on me...... this is actually really such a contrast im---
ALKSJDLAKSJDLK CHEN SIJIAN’S RAPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE JUST DID THATT!!!!!!!!!! DID YOU SEE THAT!??!?!1//!ASDLKJALSKJJ OMGGOHS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!! CHEN SIJIAN JUST BLEW EVERYOEN OUT OF THE WATER YOU BEST BET HE DID WOWOW HE JSUT I CANT BELEIEVE HE JSUT INCLUDED AT LEAST 4 NAMES WOW 
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IM WEN YECHEN
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chen sijian is really the best at writing raps about his bros wow and like also he has the most creative lyrics i really appreciate wow such talent hes amazing!!!
a lost baby..
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UNDERAPPRECIATED GU LANDI VISUALS
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the face of a legend 
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ever since i saw the “time” ballad version, ive had a sneaking suspicion that lin yuzhi is secretly one of the strongest vocalists on this show..... this is the face of talent
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idk whose outfit is distracting me more, xu bingchao or xixi’s LOL shao haofan looks so nice here wow and ding feijun is so adorable even tho this is a more mature concept but i still cant see him as anything but a cute child
maybe its the way they cut up the lines but idk this song didnt really show off their vocal abilities that well..... sorry xixi :( i think xixi’s voice deserved better time to shine on this show...... his and feng junjie’s voices are actually both so nice i was so impressed when i saw them singing in the oaca clips
this koala ad makes me very uncomfortable......
wenhan reaches into the box and pulls out..... costco brand blueberries??!?!?/1 hHhahahhahHAHAHHA 
lol yao chi being so sentimental... oh look at this photo of me with bubbles on my face (me: oh no here it come--) OH YEA ALSO CHECK OUT THIS FACE WASH!
wow kou cong!! a face i havent seen in a while aw! i cant believe they filmed all the yaa eps while they all still had colorful hair lol i guess ill never get to see lin mo on yaa /sigh/ or actually any of the tyger members cept jia yi.........
HAHAHAHAHHA YESSSSSSSSS THEY INCLUDED A CLIP OF CHEN SIJIAN’S PHONE CALL !!!! HIS WAS HILARIOUSS!!!! HAHAHAHA I LOVED HOW SIMILAR HIS FAN SEEMED TO BE TO HIM HAHAH 
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AAHH AS SOON AS IT GETS TO LIN MO’S ITS THE SAD MUSIC TIME
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his was the most heartwarming call.... no bias LOL
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feng junjie singing “the great artist” just---
this boy will never stop with the meme faces hHAHAHA
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im surprised this section was so short lol i was expecting them to spend more time on this group...
SUN ZELIN SUN ZELIN SUN ZELIN YEA
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jolin’s eyes are so wow 
feng junjie with the voice!!!!!!1 
JOLIN THE QUEEN
still kinda wish jia yi had more opportunity to sing on this show......... hes like second main vocalist to zhan yu in tyger but i feel like he hasnt gotten to show his voice much :( he did really well tho!!! he really has impressive stage presence
omg lin mo’s super shy “1 day” ahhhhh 
omg wang jiayi looks like hes about to cry... the poor child....
yixing reaching out to apologize to them.... hes really so caring towards them...... wang jiayi just needs more confidence!! i believe in him too
where did lin mo get this white cap from? lol he chose the pink one..... on a related note, im so happy lin mo got to be in yixing’s group, bc from the beginning with namanana hes really really tried so hard to earn yixing’s recognition, im sure it means a lot to him to be able to learn from him like this and share a stage with him 
yao mingming too, i feel like he really values yixing’s recognition as well
i think all the kids in this group had to have known that picking yixing’s group would be the most tiring and require the most effort, but i think choosing this group regardless just really shows they came here to learn 
A HAPPY BABYYY
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omg like yixing is really /teaching/ them and i appreciate that
lin mo and xu fangzhou’s voices!!!!!!
OOF IM SO READY FOR THIS OUTFIT 
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ASLDKALSDKJLAK HE WINKED!!!!!!!!!!!
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what is this awkward closeup
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why does fangzhou have wings lol
i feel like theres a lot of random awkward closeups of lin mo.... should i be happy about this??? LOL i dont think theyre all very flattering but at the same time at least hes got closeups....???? ? ??  
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OOF HES GETTING MORE LINES THAN I EXPECTED TOO
you know how ive talked about how i love how much detail lin mo puts into his dancing, including even his slight head tilts? LOOK ANOTHER HEAD TILT 
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HAHAHAHHAHA GUAN YUE’S EYES GOT SO BIG HAHAHHAHA OMGGG
ooof lin mo getting to sing the chorus with yixing im !!!!!! im sure hes so grateful for this opportunity wow also i think i mentioned this with namanana but i really think lin mo suits yixing’s dance style, like its a style that hes pulls off really well, so i think he got to shine a bit in this performance :’)
ok i havent said this yet but what is with that thick black fade at the top of the screen its so annoying??? like why you gotta cover the top of their heads??? 
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wow we’re really getting a lot of random lin mo shots hahahha is this iqiyi repenting their wrongs from ‘spirit of the knight’ i almost am surprised how yao mingming isnt getting the most screentime but then i remember iqiyi has never favored yao mingming........ /sigh
AYYY WENXUAN AND LIN MO THE BUDDIES
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just look at how perfectly tilted / well-positioned lin mo’s head is wow and that gaze wow i just love his stage presence
yea im gonna have to rewatch this perf to gif the lin mo moments.... maybe after the finale tomorrow when ill be like oop lin mo didnt make it in oh well let me just wallow in his talent that the audience slept on by drowning myself in lin mo content (its not like i do that every day already)
LOL THAT CAMERA SPIN WAS SUCH A FAIL YOU CANT SEE ANYONE CEPT WENXUAN ADJUSTING HIS MIC HAHAHHAHA ok on a side note tho im glad wenxuan got to be in this group too!! yuehua’s dancer getting to show us his dancing again :’) and we all know he was discouraged being reshuffled into “maze” and i just wanna say wenxuan deserves more credit for being able to really go out of his comfort zone and pull off the cute concept in “maze” well even tho he didnt want to accept it at first! 
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HES PERFECT 
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hey yall is it just me or did you see lin mo’s eyes in that really fast flashy bit at the end of the preview for the finale? HAHHAHAHA i couldnt even screenshot it bc it was so fast, but i swear i saw his eyes so i think he was in it LOOOL
JSUT KIDDING I WENT BACK AND TRIED AGAIN AND I GOT IT
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I KNEW I SAW HIS EYES HAHAHAHHAHA
oo i havent mentioned this before but i really like the sound of chen sijians voice, even when speaking... 
OMG GU LANDI
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OMGGGG MY CHILD YE ZIMING IN FREAKING TARZAN NEXT DOOR??!???
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THIS IS TOO MUCH!!!!!!! THANKS FOR REMINDING US HOW IQIYI TOTALLY SLIGHTED THIS BOY OUT OF GETTING INTO TOP 35
aw honestly i wonder if lian huaiwei will really not make it tomorrow.....  
omg sun zelin in the ending credits!!!!
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OMG ZHAN YU TOOOOOOO
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OOF LOOK AT ZHAN YU’S JAWLINE (ooops sorry yechen ahhahhhaa)
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they must really like this part of the choreo?? 
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BUT I LOVE THIS LOOK ON YECHEN YESSS
lol is this lin mo’s back
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tbh im surprised they didnt include lin mo in the ending credits but i think they were trying to make up for the loss of yao mingming time earlier LOOL 
ok well i have about 10 hrs until i gotta wake up to watch the finale so.... now to go watch fjj and hcx’s goodnight dachang HAHAH
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abcdosaka · 4 years
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bts concert day 1 was sooo good. worth every penny that i didn’t spend. i bought day 2 though bc i feel like streaming links are gonna be even harder to find and since day 1 was so worth it, day 2 will prolly be just as good (also i just got a gst credit so basically: the government of canada paid for my bts ticket). also i really cant deal with looking for links every 10 minutes and the microwave quality esp since i’ve been getting minimal sleep trying to prepare my sleep schedule specifically for this concert lmaooo thank god its reading week its like bts set this concert up specially for me
i have so much to say but ill do bullet points bc im dead tired
ego live was everything. the most serotonin ive ever gotten in my life. hobi looked so happy i couldve cried and the choreo is so adorableeee and when he got up all in the cameras face i was like YESS BITCHHHH TELL THEMMMMM i actually died he looked so good
ugh live was everything i wanted. tbh the dance break wasnt much of a dance break considering its bts but i didn’t think a heavy choreo would work well for ugh anyway like the swaying thing they did radiated so much swag i think it was perfect as it was
that outfit change in filter was insane i still dont understand. it was so good he looked like a sexy tailor and i got mj vibes
my time was sexy like i hate sexualizing men but jks thighs? i could not stop staring. sorry jk. its also goals
the set/concept for moon was everything like definitely the best set out of everything apparently its ilke the little prince idk i never read that book/watched the movie but maybe i should. it was just beautiful and the ar was literalllyy OUT OF THIS WORLD PUN INTENDED.
inner child was adorable i couldnt stop smilingggggg who was that baby anyway?? i guess its prob just some random kid but still. cute 🥺 it was like that scene in the abandoned theme park in dbh with alice
persona is actually one of my fav songs from well mots:persona (after home) but that whole performance was crazy. fav detail was def how the masked ppl on the platforms behind rm were doing the same moves all synchronized, also the mic was literally lit on fire after rm jumped down tht was so good
interlude shadow.....ok thats actually one of the best songs from 7. the transition from white to black was really well done
suga looked so good in the bil performance idk man. i kept staring at my minecraft quality screen trying to id everyone and there was this man with this clean ass haircut with forehead out and i was like.....is that.....no it cant be....suga? is that you? it was him. i couldnt believe it.
jk looked really really good in black swan. but my time just blew it out of the friggin water. the leather???? the way he flipped his jacket off and on as part of the choreo? i was expecting sexy but wow
i wont even talk abt hobi like??? ok tbh the sleeveless thing reminded me of outfits that are very typical for boy groups but when he does it it just hits different bc i love him. and the tattoos. what was he thinking. that arm thing was really really good too like he looked friggin built
jimins undercut was really really clean actually i was reading this webtoon “white blood” and he looked like luci who basically looks like this (but jimin looked better)
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can tumblr stop auto adjusting the size damn ?? i spent 5 minutes looking for a decent pic and i cant find one where luci has his eyes open and his hair not messy at the same time so this will have to do. anyway i just thought they looked siimilar also look at those dope ass golden fangs. not related but luci’s character design is so good. anyway BACK TO WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT.
dionysus trap remix was so good.
wab dance break was really really excellent like omg i loved it so much. it was just everything. it was like the first time i saw the mama 18 fake love dance break with the marionette movements but even better
i skipped all the vcrs/peed during those times. kinda unfortunate but i felt like i wasnt missing much so. they didnt make sense but i guess they’re always like that
jimins black swan orch ver dance. what do i even say. i flipped my shitttt
what i want to see on day 2: someone said day 1 they did all the bangers so they’ll do ballads/slower songs on day 2. if thats the case what i wanna see is all the r&b tracks, anything from the following: 134340*, paradise*, i need u urban mix*, miss right, coffee, love is not over, let me know, do you think it makes sense, house of cards, autumn leaves*, moving on*, rain*, home. more energetic songs i wanna see include outro wings, jump*, look here, ma city*, lost, bst, outro tear. *=song i especially want to see. honestly most of these are not realistic but they did do quite a few throwbacks so..... they might do one or two of these. ill be happy with anything i guess. if day 2 isnt as good i can just consider my payment as being for day 1 (i managed to watch most of it uninterrupted so)
rn im expecting spring day, 2!3!, young forever, mikrokosmos, fire, POSSIBLY danger but i kinda doubt it, anpanman?? but they did that for bbc live so idk? mic drop, honestly i think they will do i need u since today they did some of the songs where there was a shift in how famous they were (dna, dope, nmd)
ok wtf was even the point of the bullet points i wrote so much lmao. ok time for me to sleep for like 4 hours?? ugh im gonna eat dinner late :/ well its ok
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i look back on horror at who i was as a child a lot bc it was bad and i did bad things. but just now i felt kind of fond of little me and proud. bc i did survive and i was smart. 
i got sparked thinking about this bc i was thinking back to being really little. really little, potty training and earliest memories. i was so motivated to be perfect and actually i was good at getting approval. it’s sad bc thats what shaped the bad part of me. at this deep level i learned i did not want to be punished or disapproved of and so i tried to distance myself from my brothers who were punished and compared negatively to me. 
it’s weird bc for so long i felt shame about this. when i was in high school i apologized to my brothers in tears bc theyd often been resentful of me when we were young and i felt guilty for being the baby who got away with things while they were punished. from like age 2 to age maybe 10 i had a p bad superiority complex borne out of this and i just felt like a bad person for it for a long time. plus i didnt fully break out of the mindset til i let go of inferiority/superiority. 
i do see that i was just a child but thats kinda the part that feels like a horror movie. if i think of it being a child who was in situations i was and doing things i did, it feels horrifying. so most of my thinking back on being a kid are kinda disturbing. 
but im kinda getting back in touch w the part of myself i love for the past few years. and you know i survived for a reason. bc i love life and there are parts of me that are strong. what i was thinking about that started all of this was the kind of two-sided split nature of my childhood. what actual form did it take. 
i was absolutely obsessive about adult approval. to a degree that was v annoying to other kids but worked. i didnt necessarily SHOW that i was obsessed w it and i dont think i was even thinking consciously about it. a lot of my memories go in this vein. like i was good at memorizing bc that was asked of me. i could intense laser focus on things and memorize them. i remember frantically memorizing Bible verses at age 5 to win the Bible verse memorizing competition which the adults put on.
all of my strengths i had to be best in and all of my weaknesses were sources of shame i tried to improve on. i took very seriously morality as it was taught to me and made a great show of following it. i was often what you could consider teachers pet and basked in any positive reinforcement thrown my way. 
i was addicted to avoiding punishment and seeking reward. it was a response to my highly behaviorist, authoritarian upbringing. my emotional state in relationship with adults could vary wildly depending on how they treated me. i had a teacher in fourth grade who seemed to dislike and undermine me, like she wanted to break me, and i internalized my idea of her to help shape myself into someone who she would like. and it mostly worked. 
the intensity of my ability to do stuff like this cannot be understated. i learned to totally supress my sensory problems because they made adults annoyed with me and might lead to punishment (also i had to learn to deal with them alone because i had no help). i learned how to present a certain type of acceptable personality. 
i should note that i learned to do this first because of my parents. i learned later, but very young, that i had been easy to potty train. i was often praised both for being intelligent but especially for being “easy” and obidient. the perfect child. as compared to my brothers who wet the bed and had to be punished for it. ive thought for a while that the reason i was so obsessed with being perfect in school is that my mother homeschooled me and my brother for kintergarden. she screamed at him for being stupid. never me. 
being better was being safe. so i became this person who had to follow all the rules and be best at everything and i always wanted to be assured that i had earned love by my behavior. 
but the oddest thing about this is that i was a totally anti-authority, rebellious, and single-minded child. this is how the split in my personality manifested when i was little. any time i sensed any kind of unfairness i was livid. i undermined authority figures behind their backs with other kids. i got around rules however i could. 
the thing was, i think, even when i was very little, was that i knew it was arbitrary. the authority my parents wielded over me and my siblings was incomprehensible. i couldnt follow it. i just knew that they were in charge so they could do what they wanted. they were inconsistent in their punishments and rewards. sometimes they punished you for nothing and sometimes you got away with doing something actually bad. they weren’t fair. they just made it up as they went along. 
i wanted to do what i wanted to do and really i felt no attachment to their judgment on it--at least this side of me didnt. and it goes back just as far, maybe farther, than the feeling of superiority or desire for approval. i think that came more as i became afraid of punishment. 
i have very young memories of defying my parents authority. i just wanted to get away with it. and i almost always did. 
it’s funny because my entire family has always judged me for that but now i look back with some admiration. i mean i was obsessing with how to get away with things in my youngest memories, like age 3. all throughout my childhood i broke the rules to do what i wanted. 
when i was thinking earlier, what came to me was that i always acted to get approval so that i could get away with things and do what i really wanted to do. my main occupation as a child was reading. i was approved of for it. i read so much! i was such a smart little girl! and i could get away with spending all my time away from people in another world, the world of my books. i was quiet and out of the way so i was a good child. and that was one of the main sources of happiness in my childhood, reading, escaping, learning, being somewhere else. 
i waged a warfare against authority quietly. i learned to give them what they want and then do whatever i wanted when they looked away. i did it all the time. the side of me that wanted approval and the one that wanted freedom were somewhat dissociated so i didnt even fully realize i was doing it. 
i think what caused a lot of the change was falling from grace. in my own eyes, in my projected, perceived vision of God, and in the eyes of adults. it happened around age 10 and 11. i went from a very high to very low opinion of myself quickly. i think some of it was having a teacher who simply did not and would not like me, who wanted me to be smaller. she didnt like that i was disorganized and said i had terrible handwriting. she wasnt cruel but she wanted to destroy me for my own good. she constantly put me down and made me a subject of ridicule in class. 
i was also thinking more about Christian morality. the more i learned about God and heard about sin the more i felt i was a sinner. i felt bare and stripped naked, disgusting before God. 
i had humbling experience after humbling experience--internally as i reflected on my behavior and externally though rejection by peers, failure in school, and adult disapproval. it wasnt possible for me to feel approved of, perfect anymore. i could only be bad. 
i kept going further and further with this until i was reborn and rejected all of it. i stopped being Christian and rejected God’s authority. Christianity was the only worldview i had ever been allowed to imagine. once i stopped believing in it i was separate from every person around me. i could not, as a human being, have anyone’s approval. 
i wasnt the golden child at school or at home any more. i started getting in trouble in ways i never would have before because i was more defiant openly. a teacher took my kindle from me in 8th grade and i was punished for stealing it back. i had used to never talk back to my parents but i started to. i was angry. the dynamics in my family shifted and sometimes i was the scapegoat, sometimes i was the one being screamed at, punished, hit the most. me and my siblings played hot potato for it. golden child shifted around too. but i would never be the favorite again. by the time my parents went back to fawning on me, when i was a successful college student, i had no taste for it. 
starting around age 13. i had to become my own internal source of approval, authority, and being. i started to parent myself. i developed an internal parent who nurtured me and i sought out a lot of media about good and loving parents. i cried alone all the time but when i was calming down, i would stroke my own hair and talk to myself. i thought for myself and made up my mind about things. i had my own internal sense of morality that wasnt based on punishment and rewards. that made me a better person. before i had broken any rule with no guilt. i did not consider right and wrong of the action, only likelihood of punishment or reward. when i was giving myself approval, /i/ had to approve of my actions. 
idk ive just rambled a lot but i guess ive been thinking tonight about how ive reacted to environments and how ive changed myself as a person. i have these moments, shorter periods in my life, where something totally shifts in me. but that doesnt make long term effects just go away. i still worry about approval and punishment. i still punish and reward myself. these things are ground into me. inferiority/superiority too. but i saw through them and i have changed. 
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bunnyboys · 7 years
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Ok so @pinkislouder, @loveloveolivia and @teamnouis tagged me in this and i love you all very much ♥️ (I'm doing this on my phone bc obviously my laptop just died rip so sorry if it looks shit) Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag! THE LAST… 
1. Drink: fanta i think, i didnt want to but there was nothing else 2. Phone call: at work probably but thats boring so i think it was floor yesterday 3. Text message: the niall larries gc about elk her drama its hilarious 4. Song you listened to: cold (sak noel remix) - maroon 5 5. Time you cried: Lmao last night, when i had this one hour breakdown. It was ugly HAVE YOU EVER… 
6. Dated someone twice: I have never dated in my LIFE 7. Been cheated on: gonna take the same answer as amber, my friends yes 8. Kissed someone and regretted it: more like not kissing someone and regretting it 9. Lost someone special: yes 10. Been depressed: ha, very much 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: enough times for sure LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS: 12. soft pink 13. dark green 14. bordeaux red IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 
15. Made new friends: definitely online and outside of the interwebs 16. Fallen out of love: cant say i've ever been in love so, no 17. Laughed until you cried: too many times to count 18. Found out someone was talking about you: oh :) enough times :) 19. Met someone who changed you: i guess, but in a good way 20. Found out who your true friends are: definitely 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yup for sure 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like 95% 23. Do you have any pets: not anymore :( i have cacti now :) 24. Do you want to change your name: nah i'm the only female cornetto in this family and will stay that way until i die 25. What did you do for your last birthday: basically same story as amber, went to our favorite bar, got free shots from our favorite bartender, got shitfaced, oh and in the morning floor was there and we hung around with my family 26. What time did you wake up: 5:15am bc work rip 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: probably reading fic and telling myself to go the heck to sleep 28. Name something you cannot wait for: to meet @rogueandeskimo and see harry tbh 29. When was the last time you saw your mother: uhhh i think its been 3 weeks already idk 30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Move the fuck out and get myself away from this toxic ass family 31. What are you listening to right now: my neighbours outside, its amusing 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I actually had a crush on a boy named tom when i was like 6/7 didnt work out, LUCKILY 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: the fact that my laptop jUST DIED and like lets not go deeper into this 34. Most visited website: Tumblr and twitter, a surprise 35. Elementary: it was good, it was weird but a good kind, very carefree 36. High School: the best and worst time of my life, no exaggeration 37. College/university: college was good, learned a lot about myself very important 38. Hair colour: orange, ginger whatever you wanna call it nowadays 39. Long or short hair: shoulder length 40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes if niall counts 41. What do you like about yourself: Not much atm but i guess i kinda look ok sometimes and i can be funny at the right moment 42. Piercings: nope 43. Blood type: wouldnt know if my life depended on it (ha medical jokes) 44. Nickname: my last name, cornetto, ams, am, ginger, theres more on this list 45. Relationship status: couldnt be more single 46. Zodiac sign: capricorn 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favourite TV show: gilmore girls, grey's anatomy, orphan black, friends, jessica jones 49. Tattoos: none yet 50. Right or left hand: right FIRST… 
51. Surgery: never had one, did break a lot of bones tho so i walked around with a cast every other 6 weeks 52. Piercing: none 54. Sport: Handball, did it for atleast 7/8 years before i quit, still love that sport to bits. Loved swimming also, was very good at it but like never did competitions 55. Vacation: my parents took me somewhere to germany as i remember but i also remember going to disneyland paris bc my aunt and uncle just got married and i was their braidsmaid at the age of 4 i dont remember which one happend first 56. Pair of trainers: probably some vintage ass shoes my mom found, they were red tho i think 57. Eating: my dinner, it was a salad. My brother left me some chocolate tho so i'll probably eat that in a bit bc well i had a salad for dinner what do you expect 58. Drinking: nothing 59. I’m about to: sleep probably 60. Listening to: not sure yet, maybe harrys album maybe mitam maybe my summer playlist 61. Waiting for: good things to finally fucking happen 62. Want: to be in greece right now thank 63. Get married: Maybe one day, if i find the right person 64. Career: all i've been thinking since dropping out is how much i want to have my own b&b somewhere on the countryside in england, beautiful perfect YOUR TYPE… 
65. Hugs or kisses: I havent kissed anyone in ages jesus but i'm also a very big cuddler, no one really knows this about me i guess but i love it so i'm gonna say hugs 66. Lips or eyes: Lips fascinate me IM SORRY I KNOW ITS WEIRD dont ask lets move on 67. Shorter or taller: shorter but i dont mind anyone having the same hight as me, i dont even mind anyone taller but that doesnt happen much anyway 68. Older or younger: i prefer older but doesnt matter much actually 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: this is a stupid question it doesnt fucking matter 71. Sensitive or loud: loud for sure, love what amber said. Give me someone like louis 72. Hook up or relationship: atm i dont care but i'm definitely a relationship person 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker, bc i can be quite hesitant eventho im very adventurous HAVE YOU EVER… 
74. Kissed a stranger?: i .. have not 75. Drank hard liquor?: sure enough 76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: only a couple sunglasses 77. Turned someone down: godsjs enough times 78. Sex on first date: not sure if you can count it a date and we already knew eachother for years but anyway yes 79. Broken someone’s heart: idk probably 80. Had your heart broken: ohhh yeah 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: yes 83. Fallen for a friend: hahahah :) DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 
84. Yourself: I'm trying my friends 85. Miracles: I'm not sure i believe in miracles i do believe that some things happen because thats how they were supposed to be 86. Love at first sight: I dont, as amber said attraction at first sight, yes definitely 87. Santa Claus: Uh duhh, havent you watched his movies?! He's out there 88. Kiss on the first date: how can you not believe in this???? I believe in this the MOST 89. Angels: harry and louis literally exist how the FUCK can you not believe in angels OTHER… 
90. Current best friend’s name: (i HATE US but same as amber AGAIN) i dont call one person my bestfriend anymore, i have a small circle of bestfriends 91. Eye colour: green/greyish i guess 92. Favourite movie: 10 things i hate about you, clueless, the batman trilogy, catws Soooooo this took me longer than i planned, anyway lets tag @hunkyniall @yslsaint @givelarryachonce @actualhumansunshine @nowayoutalongwaydown @iicfhome @celestineal @bananasnouis @loveableirishman @peppyniall @bus1pride i want to get to know y'all, if you dont want to do this trust me i get it dont worry xxx
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