#i do not want to think about human connection with anyone who isn't also a weird internet recluse while I'm here

[teacuppigdog]

all the adverts on tumblr these days are trying to get me to go out and date people. like. actually I came to this website to be a weird recluse

#please respect my culture #you have misread the room actually #i actually am personable out there these days this is like the last bastion where i get to relish my anti-social side #i do not want to think about human connection with anyone who isn't also a weird internet recluse while I'm here #tumblr

[rockrosethistle]

If there's one thing TGWDLM fans are gonna do, it's think about the implications. And the implications of the opening number are crazy.

So. We know that the show isn't completely chronological since the opening number takes place before the meteor hits. So that song is a sort of "flash forward" moment. But when you think about it, we don't really know how far in the future it takes place.

What we do know is that by the time it's happening, Emma is infected. She has a little solo in it singing about how Paul is pining over a barista

And we know that this is meant to be an infected Emma specifically. Lauren had other characters in the show, if they wanted to avoid the Emma implication they would've just dressed her as one of those.

So we know this is meant to be Emma.

And Emma isn't infected until the very end of the show. She's dragged off stage during the credits. So since she's infected in the opening number, we know the number takes place after the events of the show.

Another important detail is that Paul is infected before Emma. He's the one that passes it on to her.

So back to the opening number, Emma is infected. Which means by just following a simple timeline, Paul must also be infected. He should be singing and dancing, right?

But that's not what happens. Paul misses his entrance.

If Paul is infected, then there's no reason he should be missing his entrance. Furthermore, if he's a part of a hive mind, there's no reason other members of the same hive mind shouldn't know where he is. They are literally all connected by one brain, and yet both Mr. Davidson and Bill express they have no clue where he went.

What I'm saying is that Paul is not infected. He was infected (again, we know that because Emma is infected and he was infected before her) but now he's not anymore.

I'm saying there's a way out of the hive, and Paul found it. That's the only explanation that makes sense given the facts of the situation. Sometime after the events of tgwdlm, Paul is able not only to break out the hive mind, but to hide from it.

And if he broke out, others could do the same. Maybe even Emma.

Edit because a countertheory has emerged: Yes it's possible that everyone is infected the entire time and the show itself is just Pokey replaying the events for the fun of it. But it seems unlikely to me. First of all, each of the Lords in Black has a distinct personality. They all are evil, but within that they seems to fall somewhere on a spectrum of "silly billy" to "prick." For example, Tinky is more of a silly billy. He toys with humans without much of a motive and more for just shits and giggles. But in every instance, Pokey's more on the extreme side of prick.

He's one of the few with an actual motive behind what he does. In Yellowjacket, it's confirmed that Pokotho hates the sound of anyone's voice except for his own. The events of TGWDLM don't happen because Pokey is bored, they happen because he is executing a plan. So I don't think that he would just have them play out their little scenario just to entertain him, especially just one small island? I just feel like he'd be more focused on world domination.

If the theory is that all this is happening after Pokey's already taken over the whole world, no one was successful in stopping him, then yes it's plausible, but still weird. There are a strange amount of things in that show you just think an eldritch god wouldn't include.

Edit 2: New evidence has emerged???

The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals is loosely based off of Invasion of The Body Snatchers. Paul's last name is even a nod to the main character, Matthew. At the end of the film, Matthew survives, and continues living among the infected, pretending to be one of them. And wouldn't that be just such a fun little parallel...

Obviously it doesn't prove anything but the source material doesn't lie folks.

#the implications #starkid #hatchetfield universe #hatchetfield #paul matthews #emma perkins #tgwdlm #the guy who didn't like musicals #npmd #black friday musical #theory #fan theory #jon matteson #lauren lopez

[asterlark]

me and den @unloneliest were just talking about murderbot and ART's relationship and i want to discuss how they quite literally complete each other's sensory and emotional experience of the world!!

there's a few great posts on here such as this one about how murderbot uses drones to fully and properly experience the world around it (it also accesses security cameras/other systems for this same purpose). but i haven't seen anyone so far talk about how once MB stops working for the company and consequently doesn't have a hubsystem/secsystem to connect to anymore (which for its entire existence up to that point had been how it was used to interacting with its environment/doing its job), after it meets ART, ART starts to fill that gap.

ART gives MB access to more cameras, systems, and information archives than it would normally be able to connect with while MB is on its own outside of ART's... body(? lol), but also directly gives MB access to its own cameras, drones, archives, facilities, and processing space. additionally, so much of ART's function is dedicated to analysis, lateral thinking, and logical reasoning, and it not only uses those skills in service of reaching murderbot's goals, it teaches murderbot how to use those same skills. (ART might be a bit of an asshole about how it does this, but that doesn't negate just how much it does for murderbot for no reason other than it's bored/interested in MB as an individual.)

we all love goofing about how artificial condition can basically be boiled down to "two robots in a trench coat trying to get through a job interview" (which is entirely accurate tbh) but that's also such a great example of ART fulfilling the role of both murderbot's "hubsystem" and "secsystem", allowing it to fully experience its environment/ succeed in its goals. ART provides MB with crucial information, context, and constructive criticism, and uses its significant processing power to act as MB's backup and support system while they work together.

from ART's side of things, we get a very explicit explanation of how it needs the context of murderbot's emotional reactions to media in order to fully understand and experience the media as intended. it tried to watch media with its humans, and it didn't completely understand just by studying their reactions. but when it's in a feed connection with murderbot, who isn't human but has human neural tissue, ART is finally able to thoroughly process the emotional aspects of media (side note, once it actually understands the emotional stakes in a way that makes sense for it, it's so frightened by the possibility of the fictional ship/crew in worldhoppers being catastrophically injured or killed that it makes murderbot pause for a significant amount of time before it feels prepared to go on. like!! ART really fucking loves its crew, that is all).

looking at things further from ART's perspective: its relationship with murderbot is ostensibly the very first relationship it's been able to establish with not only someone outside of its crew, but also with any construct at all. while ART loves its crew very much (see previous point re: being so so scared for the fate of the fictional crew of worldhoppers), it never had a choice in forming relationships with them. it was quite literally programmed to build those relationships with its crew and students. ART loves its function, its job, and nearly all of the humans that spend time inside of it, but its relationship with murderbot is the first time it's able to choose to make a new friend. that new friend is also someone who, due to its partial machine intelligence, is able to understand and know ART on a whole other level of intimacy that humans simply aren't capable of. (that part goes for murderbot, too, obviously; ART is its first actual friend outside of the presaux team, and its first bot friend ever.)

and because murderbot is murderbot, and not a "nice/polite to ART most of the time" human, this is also one of the first times that ART gets real feedback from a friend about the ways that its actions impact others. after the whole situation in network effect, when the truth of the kidnapping comes to light and murderbot hides in the bathroom refusing to talk to ART (and admittedly ART doesn't handle this well lol) - ART is forced to confront that despite it making the only call it felt able to make in that horrifying situation, despite it thinking that that was the right call, its actions hurt murderbot, and several other humans were caught in the crossfire. what's most scary to ART in that moment is the idea that murderbot might never forgive it, might never want to talk to it again. it's already so attached to this friendship, so concerned with murderbot's wellbeing, that the thought of that friendship being over because of its own behavior is terrifying. (to me, this almost mirrors murderbot's complete emotional collapse when it thinks that ART has been killed. the other more overt mirror is ART fully intending on bombing the colony to get murderbot back.)

in den's words, they both increase the other's capacity to feel: ART by acting as a part of murderbot's sensory system, and murderbot by acting as a means by which ART can access emotion. they love one another so much they would do pretty much anything to keep each other safe/avenge each other, but what's more, they unequivocally make each other more whole.

#the murderbot diaries #murderbot #asshole research transport #network effect #mine #idk what else to tag lol #BIG thanks to den unloneliest for helping so much with the drafting/editing of this!!! #we both were having some brain fog issues yesterday so we joked that with our combined forces we can make one (1) post lol #just like mb and ART fr!!!! #anyway im so fucking emotional over themmmmm #murderbot meta #the murderbot diaries meta

[taylortruther]

I actually agree with you 100% on all long-term relationship breakups being pretty much the same. When you've loved someone for so long, it means they're also part of your routines, part of your comfort, part of your home and part of your family. Their family becomes your family, their friends become your friends, their hopes and aspirations become things you care about as well as their struggles. The reasons why the rs starts falling apart aren't as simple as one or both parties no longer "being in love", but rather a combination of issues: career ambitions intolerable to the relationship for various reasons, incompatibility of personalities or of extended families, growth at different paces, the goals and wishes agreed at the start of the rs changing with time, loss of trust and connection, etc. I thought of this the other day when an anon mentioned the movie Blue Valentine, and I think the reason why that film feels so realistic (and devastating) is because all long term relationships slowly desintegrate in similar manners to what happens to the couple in the movie. And piggybacking off the discourse we had on The Alcott, it's quite desperating and frustrating to slowly realize that things that once were profoundly sacred have come to feel like a curse; you no longer feel like you're choosing everyday to be with this person out of love, but rather that you're emprisioned to them.

What we know about TTPD department so far makes me think this will be explored but not in the way many fans seem to be expecting (not you guys lol but I have seen ppl that expect the songs to be sassy, petty, and accusatory). Instead, I think we will see her show and deconstruct all the ways she fought for it to work, compromising, committing, twisting herself into a pretzel, and making herself smaller, not because he was "forcing her" like some fans think but rather from her own decision bc that's just how much she loved him. Which is even more devasting if you think of it: she locked herself away, tried to dim her shine, beared emotional burdens alone because of her own conviction and desire to make things work, not as a result of him "making her" do all of that. So imo one of the reasons this album will be particularly devastating is bc we will learn in a very raw manner just how much she loved this man and how much she was willing to give up for him, and how much regret she probably has about things she did for him that at the time felt like a no-brainer but in hindsight seem ridiculous (which is a very common thing for everyone bc that's simply what you do when you love someone; love isn't usually rational). And this will undoubtedly be very relatable for ppl who have been in ltrs that ended bc, as you say, most of them end in the same way and most of us realize how much we actually sacrificed for it only after the fact.

i agree!!! also, we know taylor never does anything by halves. we know love is basically a religion of drug to her. we know she felt that he believed in her and loved her for her at a time when she felt she was distinctly unlovable. we know she fought hard to deal with her baggage. we know she was reflecting on fame, how fickle it is, and why she wanted it so badly (miss americana doc, mirrorball, midnight rain, to name a few.) we can look at midnights to see the things that were haunting her and they were things like: dealing with fame, choosing the hard way, reckoning with loss of self, wanting to protect love that felt fragile, blocking out noise, the empowerment and loneliness of relying on oneself. midnights feels like a very honest and logical progression past folkmore, which discussed those topics as well as infidelity, taking up space, confronting depression and pain and other sticky human desires. ttpd feels like it will further touch on these complicated and sticky and dark topics, with the added "bonus" of the specter of a breakup, and the breakup itself, haunting them. anyone whose ever lost a part of themselves to try and save a relationship of any kind will understand, i think. love is a beast that way.

#a black dog you might even say #predictions #ttpd

[charliedawn]

Hey I was wondering how do you think the slashers would react if they're s/o was wearing a piece of their clothing or mask (for the masked ones)? Honestly I think if Michael found his s/o wearing (or even touching...) His mask that's a killable offense right there lmao.

Jason Voorhees:

Jason was asleep when you took his mask. When he woke up and didn't find it—he started panicking.

He made a mess out of his bedroom in a desperate attempt to find it and locked his door so that nobody could come in.

You frowned as you found the door locked and knocked on the door.

"Jason ? Are you alright ?"

He wasn't.

He hesitated to open the door, but you then slid his mask back to him through the door.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to surprise you."

He understood what had happened and opened the door a little to look at you. You seemed genuinely sorry and he finally opened the door for you to come in.

Jason wears the mask for a reason. He is insecure to the extreme. It's the only way for him to hide himself and if it had been anyone else than you ?

...That person would have been dead and buried.

Brahms Heelshire:

Brahms actually woke up when you were looking at yourself in the mirror with his mask on.

He seemed stunned for a moment before he silently got out of bed to stand next to you.

Once you saw him in the mirror, you turned around. You were ready to apologize, but then saw the way he was looking at you.

He wasn't angry. Far from it. He just stared at you and smiled before slowly removing the mask from your face.

He then put it back on his and took a deep breath—as if smelling it. He then hummed appreciatively and wrapped his arms around you.

"...Brahms' mask smells good now." He whispered and held you closer.

…

Well—that backfired.

Vincent Sinclair:

Panic. Immediate and irreversible panic.

Unlike Brahms or Jason, Vince is deeply ashamed of his face. It isn't about being insecure or having a couple of scars. He is TERRIFIED of his own reflection.

Vincent used to be attached to Bo. Being twins at birth, it made him feel as if there was someone out there who understood him.

But, the mask is a mark of shame—the constant reminder that that connection is severed. And he feels ugly because of it. Because he was disfigured from the operation—while Bo wasn't.

They are different now, when there were supposed to be one and the same.

Plus, he’s only got one mask. It took time to make as he had to get Bo to agree to mould a mask with his face.

So, he would get mad. He would also be pretty physical about getting it back.

He COULD hurt you.

Do not steal his mask, unless you are absolutely sure and asked permission beforehand.

Michael Myers:

...You have a death wish. There is no other possible explanation.

Michael values his mask more than anything in this world.

He hides his face for a reason. It became a part of him over time and he HATES when people see his true face.

So, do not steal his mask.

But, I don’t think you’d be able to anyway.

Michael almost never takes it off and if anyone tried to take his mask away ? Wrists would get crushed. Just saying.

Freddy Krueger:

"If you take the hat, sweetheart…Be ready to face the consequences."

Freddy LOVES his hats (Yes. Plural. He’s got a full drawer of them in his room)

He counts them all before going to bed and when he saw that one of them was missing, he was ready to track the person down and draw blood.

But, when he understood you were the little thief, he smirked and simply closed the door behind him. He then sat down and grinned mischievously at you.

"Looks good on ya. But since you stole it…How about you offer me a show as compensation, hmm ?" *pats his lap and smirks*

Sleazy lil’ goblin to the end.

Pennywise:

If by some MIRACLE, you managed to get Pennywise’s gloves…He’d be furious. Pennywise hates touching people and his gloves are like a second skin to him.

Pennywise *appears behind you and screeches*: "GIVE THEM BACK THIS INSTANT, YOU STUPID HUMAN !"

Pennywise is usually pretty chill. So, for him to get really mad ? Yeah…No stealing the clown’s gloves. Never.

Bo Sinclair:

Bo's cap is his own way of hiding his insecurity. He has a scar at the back of his ear from the operation to separate him from Vince.

He doesn’t like people looking at it, so he wears that cap all the time.

One day, you decided to remove it while he was sleeping, and he grabbed your wrist before you could run away with it.

He then smirked and tutted playfully.

"Careful, darls. You take my cap, I take your life."

You knew he was only kidding, but there was also a little bit of a warning in his eyes.

He likes his cap. It’s the only thing he got left from his dad and his tolerance is zero. So, do not try to steal his cap, or ask first. He would allow you to wear it eventually, but still…Bo is not someone to be messed with.

#fandoms #imagine #fanfic #jason voorhees x reader #brahms heelshire x reader #vincent sinclair x reader #michael myers x reader #freddy krueger x reader #pennywise x reader #bo sinclair x reader

[animeyanderelover]

I am back once again in my Twilight mood and thought that I would write some poly!relationship with my 2 favorite vampires from the Cullens.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, manipulation, gaslighting, threats, stalking, overprotective behavior, isolation, death

Sharing a darling

Alice has definitely caught glimpses of you already in her vision. She knows that Jasper and her have another soulmate somewhere in the world but it is only when your parents decide to move to Forks that she is able to see the bigger picture of everything. She is certainly surprised to find out that that she and Jasper have another soulmate but she doesn't ponder too much about it. Instead she just feels very happy to know that you exist. Edward probably finds out before Jasper but only because he read Alice's mind. He also gives her an astonished look but soon cracks out a small smile as he knows that Alice feels happy about it. She tells Jasper as soon as she has had her vision and it is Jasper who is a tad bit more hesitant to fully grasp the situation. He has been with Alice for such a long time and he loves her so much so he has a hard time fathoming how he could possibly love someone the same way he adores her. He senses her happiness though about the situation so he silently accepts the future.

There is time to prepare for your arrival and it is time that passes by far too slowly for Alice. She's definitely giddy whilst thinking about your arrival and her joyous mood eventually also gets through Jasper who starts looking forward to seeing you, even if he is still a tad bit cautious about all of this. Alice loves telling him what she has seen in her vision and even draws you so that Jasper can see just how cute you are. Alice makes sure that Jasper and her dress up especially well as soon as she knows when exactly you will arrive and where exactly both of them will meet you. She's so eager as she drags Jasper with her on that day and whilst Jasper isn't exactly feeling as optimistic as she is, he doesn't have the heart to deny her what she wants. Both of them don't have to look long for you as their enhanced senses aid them in spotting you quickly and in that moment they really feel like you have been missing all along.

If Alice would still have a heart, it would pound so wildly against her chest right now as she just looks at you and takes in your every curve and feature. She's already mentally gushing over you and can't wait to do everything with you she has already been planning in the months before you moved to Forks. Jasper's doubts completely fade away as soon as he spots you too as he instantly feels the connection. His eyes also observe you with a warm glint in your eyes but differently from Alice, he is also being much more strategic and especially more overprotective. Suddenly he becomes even more aware of his surroundings and if anyone is looking funnily at you as his mind instantly switches to a protective mode, especially since you are a human. Alice notices his more rigid and alerted gaze and nudges him playfully. He can worry later. Both of them should now meet their soulmate.

Jasper takes the backseat for quite a while as he just lets Alice do the job. Not only because he knows that Alice is far more easily approachable than he is since he has a colder appearance but also because he is worried that he might be tempted by your blood. You have a very sweet smell around you and he has still very vividly in mind what happened when Bella cut herself on paper during her birthday. He could never imagine hurting you, his soulmate, yet he knows that it might be more realistic than he might want to admit. It almost feels like he is a thrid wheel for a while and even if Alice tries to include him more since she just knows that he's silently suffering from not being as involved and as close with you as she is already, she respects his wishes. Your joyful appearance in their lives actually motivates him to work harder on his self-control since he would never be able to forgive himself if he would hurt you due to his own lack of self-control.

Alice is a refreshing breeze that just enters your life as she approaches you with confidence and from that day on is always involved. You might be a bit startled by her bold approach but she is surprisingly good in sensing how far she can go from now. She takes the pleasure of being your guide you can run to in search for help since you are new here. Her goal is to be the first person you are really close to because she knows that if she is someone you already know better than others, you will gravitate more to her and rather search for her than ask new people for help. Especially if you are on a more introverted side. In either case, Alice seemingly adjusts flawlessly to your own vibe which allows you to feel more comfortable when around her. Jasper due to his more quiet nature initially spooks you out a bit but she reassures you that her lover is deep down just a big softie. You'll see that soon enough.

If Alice is the one who is visibly present in your life and always makes sure to tell you about the newest fashion, rumors and stories in this small town, Jasper is the one who is always watching over you behind the scenes. He is definitely too protective over you for his own good and that is made all the more worse since you are still only a human. He's the one who is always a few steps behind Alice and you when she excitedly shows you a great shop for clothes or a nice place to consume some beverages and some cakes, even if she sadly can't share the joy of eating and drinking as you do which is why she tries to avoid dragging you to such places. His eyes always seem to scam your surroundings and the people passing by as if he is always prepared to hear something or see something that will indicate that your life is in danger. He is the one who at times even stalks you just to quench that overprotective duty that he feels now that you are part of Alice's and his life.

Edward and Alice, and by extension also the rest of the Cullens, is aware of the tiny bit more illegal activities that Jasper is doing and they definitely have a small talk with him about it. Edward probably can't lecture him too greatly about it as Jasper is quick to remind his adoptive brother of the way he behaved around Bella when she was still a human. He's definitely getting more defensive and even mildly aggressive if someone wants to have a discussion with him about his stalkerish and overprotective tendencies. A tiny part of him might be able to rationalise why they tell him that he is overdoing it but the major part of him just can't think of what he is doing as wrong. He only has your good intentions in mind after all so he is definitely the type of delusional man who will justify some of his more questionable behavior with his feelings and your safety in mind. Alice is the only one who can talk to him without him instantly getting defensive and for her sake he does try to tone his behavior down a bit. Next to his struggles to control himself around human blood though, he seems to have unlocked a new urge he can't quite control.

Jasper only really allows himself to interact more with you when he has more confidence in his skills to control his lust for blood and only then will you finally get to know him so much better. He has always held himself back before out of fear that the scent of your blood might tempt him and you have always interpreted that as him not liking you. Now he proves you wrong though and actually turns out to be much more mellow than his exterior might let on. You are surprised to actually find out just how sensible he seems to be as he always seems to guess your current mood accurately. Whilst Alice seems to be more outgoing and bubbly, Jasper is more introverted and shockingly soft and mellow around you. He always seems so careful around you and sometimes you feel like he is talking to you like one would talk to a baby deer in order to not scare it away. At the same time you also realise that he doesn't seem to be comfortable around other people. He always appears to be slightly more tense and you always notice the protective step he seems to take as soon as someone he doesn't know approaches you.

Honestly though, the combination of their abilities is kind of scary. You essentially have someone who is able to feel and influence your emotions in Jasper and someone who can see the different outcomes of your future in Alice and whilst both of these abilities would be already quite scary by themselves, combined this makes for an even more dangerous mix. You aren't able to hide stuff from both of them because whilst their enhanced senses would probably already allow them to notice that something is wrong, Jasper can additionally sense it in your feelings. Honestly, Jasper can be a bit overbearing due to this strong need he feels to keep you safe and to protect you so as soon as he senses that you are scared, he automatically enters this overprotective mode where he is ready to scare anyone and everything away that frightens you. Additionally he just feels better if he knows where you are and with whom you are at the moment if neither Alice nor him are with you and not knowing your current location always has him worried.

Alice with her ability to see different scenarios of the future also are in the longer run very scary and useful. Whilst it of course allows both of them to prepare and keep you away from potential danger, it also completely enables her to watch over decisions you make and which impact they might have on your future. If she ever has a vision that would show her that you would have to leave Jasper and her, whether this decision was made by yourself or is the result of someone else, she and Jasper always come up with plans to cancel your departure from them. Neither one of them can just allow you to leave them like this, not now when you have become an official part of their lives and hearts. So whilst Alice always has a watch over your future, Jasper can influence your presence directly by controlling your emotions a bit. Neither one of those would ever dare to take it as far as inducing you with false feelings for both of them but at times Jasper just influences your feelings enough to not have you take any rash decisions.

Alice and Jasper have to compromise on how they spend their time with you. Whilst Alice enjoys going shopping with you and dressing you up all cutely, Jasper just prefers to just have the three of you doing something by yourselves. He always feels uncomfortable and pressured when he is around people he doesn't consider his loved ones and that has become a tad bit worse since you have come around. He wants to show you his love and that isn't as possible when he is constantly alerted due to everyone around you. He is already at times a bit more protective around Alice but that is much worse with you who is only a human. He's much more loving and at ease when it is just the three of you. Alice often plans everything though and Jasper lets her. She is creative with her plans and always comes up with something that will be fun and exciting but that doesn't mean that she doesn't consider Jasper's more simple desires to just hang out with only the three of you.

Both of them start planning relatively early on how to tell you about what they truly are. In fact both of them have been considering this as soon as they knew that you exist. Whilst Alice could have done fine without instantly going over how to tell you that they are vampires as carefully as possible, it was probably Jasper who wanted to start thinking about it at such an early stage already. Of course both of them were only able to really start properly planning as soon as both of you started knowing you better. Jasper has always seen him as the biggest risk to spoil the secret so he has been up until now tried his hardest to not slip up with anything. The closer you get to both of them and also by extension the rest of the Cullens, the bigger the chances are that you start finding out. Edward tells both of them after a visit where he also met you that you are already suspicious. Their eye colour, their cold skin and the fact that you have never seen them eating or drinking anything has already roused your suspicion.

Both of them already suspected as much as Edward tells them but hearing it just confirms their suspicions. Both of them know that they should tell you their secret now sooner than later. Alice tries to be more optimistic about everything whilst Jasper is more worried because he fears that you might see Alice and him as monsters after finding out that both of them are vampires. This is probably one of the prime examples of how Jasper uses his abilities though. He makes sure that he influences your emotions and calms you down when the time comes where Alice and him inform you about their true identities so that you don't freak out and allow Alice to calmly explain everything to you. This might be the moment though you silently realise that you probably have little chances to escape as soon as you finally know the truth but weirdly enough don't feel scared or freaked out. Well, thank Jasper for inducing you with such calm and serene feelings to keep you from feeling scared.

#yandere twilight #yandere alice #yandere alice cullen #yandere jasper #yandere jasper hale

[shiikiyun]

I think something i don't often see in discussions about Futa's character is how, if you really take a second, he's kind of a people pleaser

He isn't so in a way like what Mikoto got going on, he does want to be around people of the same interests as him, and you wouldn't think he'd care about anything but authenticity if you stayed with the way he behaves on milgram. It is only when you think about him -in- those social circles he manages to get into that you can see him tweaking lol

I think the closest to see this that we have in milgram itself is that one interaction with Kotoko in which she attempts to debate how prisons respect human rights. Any other time he expressed his opinion/stance on things he was aggressive and maybe condescending to the rest because they disagreed with him, but the second someone agreed? Whole demeanor changed. Suddenly he didn't have much to say anymore and he just parroted Kotoko's words back at her. Why. If he has such a strong personality and mindset, why was someone validating his point enough to shut down his otherwise very firm attitude?

Futa doesn't go as far as to manufacture his every word for it to cause a positive reaction on others from the get go, but he does seek validation all the same. He braces himself for rejection by being loud and obnoxious and harsh until he sees a positive reaction and then is when he does a complete 180 to keep the other person in that place of validation. He is simultaneously completely bad at it though, but I never said he was good at people pleasing. Which connects back to what i've said before about his inability to fit in. Even when he thinks he's doing it right and he sees himself getting validation by people he cares about (in the case of his crime, by mimicking his friendgroup's method of "bringing justice" by calling out someone online, that same friendgroup following along and reinforcing the idea that he was doing it right), he ultimately fails anyway and loses it all over again.

In the end, he's just extremely socially awkward and anxious. It isn't in his nature to reach anyone else's expectations even if he genuinely wants to, so he'll either do what he can within his parameters (mold himself for his friendgroup of people he deems similar to him) or he'll avoid trying altogether because he knows he'll fail (what we see in milgram!)

It also shows how his yearn for a support system (t2 qna + mu's birthday timeline convo) isn't particularly new from his current circumstances, or why the only person he could think of when asked who he would want to see right now was his mom (who left so long ago he barely remembers her). He has just never truly had people that genuinely cared for him no matter what he tried to do to make himself likeable.

#and having this in mind i think i understand why he seems to be “giving in” to amane's beliefs #it isnt solely because of his current vulnerability #it isnt even just to find solace in religion #it is because amane offered him help. in a way shes validating him #and if believing in bullshit like salvation and god will make at least the elementary schooler talk to him sometimes #against being left alone with his thoughts and the voices in the walls #with the track record he has of slightly molding himself and mimicking others #yeahh #and honestly that only means itll backfire even worse! on Him! #in his own words #it is what it isSorry #but no yeah hes fucked. i dont think his religious arc is gonna make shit complicated for anyone else but him #but itll be AWFUL on him #milgram #fuuta kajiyama #fuuta milgram #character analysis #sorta kinda #as always

[realititrip]

my Red Error AU for @dpauzine :D You can also check out the full zine here

The story in this AU follows Valerie after getting suit upgrade from Technus. Of course it's more than that and things start getting out of hand pretty quickly.

First it was the little things, barely noticable, but still there like studying becoming easier or her reaction time to attacks being faster. Valerie brushed it off.

This was going on for around 2 weeks without change until Phantom approached her after a fight where they had to team up to take down a more dangerous ghost. "Um Red? Your eyes glowed red for a second there and i wanted to ask if you were okay?" he said but Val just snaped at him to better mind his own business or else he'll be the one in her thermos next time she sees him. Phantom flew away then but the worry she saw in his eyes was stuck in her brain.

Valerie spent the rest of that night staring at the mirror in her bathroom looking for the red glow but never found it. Until a few days later when she woke up with sore eyes. Went to the mirror and saw red around the edges. It's fine it's FINE don't panic you'll figure it out girl.

After some thinking she figured new suit must be the source of the problem. Since it was fused with her body Val couldn't take it off, but it wasn't causing harm to anyone so she probably overused it or something that's why the red showed up.

And oh honey, you couldn't be more wrong.

Her vision changed. Those are definitely NOT the same eyes she had last week. The iris looks more mechanical, like there's something moving and shifting in it, like a robot or cyborgs, she thought. Everything is clearer, in higher quality, she can even zoom in and out if she so desieres. When she puts the suit on there's just /more/ of everything. Around the edges of her vision Valerie can see health statistics, ghosts in the area and other important information she needs. The familiar green eyes are gone, replaced with red.

The next change was her hair. Problem was they didn't look like hair anymore. Thick and think cables, any kind, running down her back. This really started freaking her out. This is where it started becoming too much and the situation she's in started sinking in. She needed help. But who even could do anything about it? Her dad would just worry even more, Phantom isn't an option, the best tech guy in town doesn't know she's Red Huntress and she's not going to change that.

So Valerie made a plan to wait for Technus to show up and catch him before Phantom. It surprised her the ghost was actually useful and explained what he could. Of course there was the threat that she'll destroy Technus if he won't but. Details.

Apparently her "hair" could be used to connect with any sort of device. She needs camera footage to check out ghost fight details? done. Wes talking about his phone freaking out because of ghost pictures? she can get that easily. The cables act like another pair of arms and do exactly what she wants.

Technus has a theory that the reason behind all of this was because he used too much of his powers on her. Since it was more than a normal human body could handle thus the changes.

He warned that there's a possibility she'll develop something similar to a ghosts core, the thing that stores all her power, the source of it. Since she's still human, Valerie thought it wouldn't happen, but fate seems to hate her, so here we are, with a triangle on her forehead that seems to be slowly growing in size every day. Honestly, it's not so bad, pretty easy to hide. The worst part about it is that if the core got damaged she must go to Technus for help.

But other than that, she's fine, for real this time.

#my art #danny phantom #danny phantom au #danny phantom zine #red error au #reality trip zine #dpauzine #valerie gray

[anneapocalypse]

Tired of the false dichotomy between "you should create for yourself without desiring any form of connection" and "feedback is everything and without it there's no reason to create." Neither of these things are wholly true, and it's frustrating to me that people have taken "create for yourself" to mean "you shouldn't want feedback or enjoy it, you should create in a vacuum with no hope of human connection" and are lashing back against what they think it's saying rather than what it's actually saying. I love comments and feedback and connecting with my readers as much as anyone and would never discount the value of that experience and I try to be the kind of engaged reader I would want to have because I know how much it means. I especially know how much it means to a niche creator because I've been that creator myself and I so treasure the readers who took a chance, gave my stuff a try, and stopped to say something supportive about it.

But that's also exactly the thing: the things I want to write are often things that do not in any way guarantee me an audience, but they're what I enjoy, and creating for myself is what gets me through those long first drafts where I know there is no guarantee of an audience because the reality is I'm choosing to write this thing and nobody owes me a readership. Internal motivation matters because there are parts of the creative process where internal motivation is all you have. I've seen people give up or nearly give up on projects that probably would have found an audience, if a niche one, because they convinced themselves that nobody would care and then couldn't motivate themselves to care. Or they decided that a small audience wasn't good enough; they need their work to be Popular or it was worth nothing.

And if someone doesn't want to invest themselves in creating something that might have a small audience, well, that's their choice. But creativity is inherently an act of risk, and a lot of amazing art would never be made if the creator wasn't willing to risk silence, rejection, loneliness. Yeah, those things suck. I'm not saying they don't, that's why it's a risk. But art isn't always about safety. Sometimes it's about creating because you simply have to get this thing out of your head, and you hope someone will connect with it, but you don't know until you try. So everything can't be external motivation. It just can't be. It's too limiting, it's too stifling. I can't live that way, personally.

#writing stuff #it's tough to talk about self motivation #because people will hear 'create for yourself' and be like 'so you want me to die?' #listen if it works for you it's not my place to tell you otherwise #but it usually comes up because people are unmotivated and unhappy #so. #idk do what works for you at the end of the day #but i just want people to understand #self-motivation isn't about rejecting connection #it's just about being willing to trust in your own mind and enjoy the process and take risks #and if you say 'well i don't enjoy the process' then that might be something else to reflect on

[sunderwight]

had a thought of what if Airplane had leaned a little more into the self-insert idea for Luo Binghe when he was still at the early stages of writing, with an end result that Luo Binghe actually Looks Like That because he basically looks like Airplane but with long flowing hair and a more idealized figure

SQQ going "why the fuck did you make his face so pretty???" and Airplane bullshitting about plausibility while trying really hard not to blush. twisting his fingers and scuffing his toe like jeez bro he's not that good-looking...

which of course sets SQQ off because how DARE!?! not 'that' good-looking?!?! just look at him! he's xianxia Helen of Troy with a face that launched a thousand harems! like okay sure with looks like that it does make sense that half the female population was willing to timeshare a marriage with him, but it's also totally unfair to SQQ, who has no recourse against those looks either! and who could? that is the most beautiful face ever!

Airplane's getting flustered. tries valiantly to make the case that objectively speaking Luo Binghe isn't that good-looking, it's just that SQQ is biased, but boy does that not go over well. SQQ has hitched the tattered remnants of his self-perception as a straight man onto the idea that Luo Binghe is just so devastatingly attractive anyone would want to hop into bed with him, and he is not letting go of it, so Airplane is just gonna get wrecked with inadvertent compliments

bonus if the Shang Qinghua look is actually the result of several illusions because when Airplane first transmigrated in, he got the same face too, and foresaw potential problems if the half-demon protagonist turned up looking like him. so he used illusions. he doesn't actually look all that different, in fact! the illusions just make it so that when people see him, they get a strong impression that he's unremarkable, so they don't really register what his face actually looks like and their brains fill in the assumption that he must just be kinda plain

oooh ooh double bonus if the system inserted a behind-the-scenes explanation for it too, which is that Shang Qinghua is actually unwittingly related to Su Xiyan!

and the whole thing comes to light post-epilogue when Shang Qinghua's illusions get stripped away by some monster-of-the-week, while everyone except Mobei Jun has a freak out about why do you look just like Luo Binghe?! (Mobei Jun isn't freaking out because he already figured out how to see past the illusions and just assumed everyone else wasn't mentioning it for some human cultural reason or something) and then Yue Qingyuan calmly explains that Luo Binghe's mom is Shang Qinghua's matrilineal cousin. Shang Qinghua's mother and Luo Binghe's human grandmother were half-sisters.

what? how does Yue Qingyuan know? you think that Cang Qiong doesn't check up on the candidates for the peak lord positions before handing off power, doesn't make sure there are no conflicts of interest or divided loyalties to other sects? what sorts of things do people imagine Qiong Ding's diplomats do? (I don't know either but, for the purpose of this scenario at least some of it is tracking down this stuff -- YQY handled most of it personally for his generation's ascension because he didn't want anyone else digging into his and Xiao Jiu's pasts) anyways, the connection could have been troublesome for its ties to Huan Hua Palace, but by the time it came to light Su Xiyan was deceased and there was no evidence that Shang Qinghua had ever even met her. so it wasn't deemed significant enough to matter, was just made note of and then mostly forgotten

so Shang Qinghua is like "oh THAT is why you kept bringing her up to me back then?!" because at the time he'd just been fully in "haha how would I know anything about the impending plot and the tragedies I am both partly responsible for and powerless to prevent haha that's so funny shixiong I KNOW NOTHING" mode, which luckily at the time was easily read as him just not wanting a dead cousin he never met to tank his chances of securing a promotion

SQQ is floored. he is having issues about this. Shang Qinghua is related to Binghe? Shang Qinghua looks exactly like him?! wait. Binghe has human family? still alive? like grandparents and stuff out there, who might want to meet him...?

Luo Binghe decides to step in at that point because he does not want to meet any more relatives! no more surprise relatives! no!

luckily this distracts Shen Qingqiu from thinking about all of the things he's said to Airplane about Binghe's looks for long enough for Shang Qinghua to flee the scene

#svsss #scum villain's self saving system #bingqiu #moshang #cumplane #well kinda cumplane anyway #by implication #long post #what if sqh can't get his illusions back up #everyone keeps bothering him even more now to ask why he's hot all of a sudden #it's even worse than when they just used to bother him about fixing broken doors or balancing budgets #sqq is not gonna be normal about this #'you said binghe wasn't a self-insert!!!' 'well by the end he definitely wasn't...' 'were you this hot irl? why were you poor?!' #'wtf is that supposed to mean...?' 'with these looks you surely could have found somebody willing to support you!' #'bro are you asking me why I wasn't a sugar baby?!' 'of course not!' 'you totally are asking me why I wasn't a sugar baby' #'...but you must have gotten offers' 'only from the hot single ladies near me on my computer and they were all viruses' #etc etc etc so on and so forth the usual insane banter those two have

[notaspectator]

idea: Omen copies people and tries to imitate people he likes. at first, it'd be hard to tell. but he's picked up on Viper's speech, and from time to time (...as funny as all the other agents find it) he'll repeat what brimstone has said to him. little speech things. but it becomes more obvious when it comes to behaviors. like, how if someone talks to him but does the "talking with hands" thing, he'll try to copy it. except he doesn't speak, because he doesn't understand the two things are connected. it becomes an uncanny imitation that reminds everyone else that Omen is not like them, and Omen cant understand what he's doing wrong. He's doing what he's seen others do, so why do they find it so strange when he does it? When people breath in a certain, noticable way, Omen pretends he's breathing the same way. It takes time for anyone to notice, but Omen does copy it and never understands why it unnerves the others. and say, when they're on a multiple day mission, he'll copy how people prepare to sleep. because he doesn't understand, and he just wants to pretend that he is like them, even if it means laying there for hours in silence because everyone sleeps, except for him, so that must mean that sleeping is a trait of living things. now, this also comes around a LOT with specific agents. like cypher. since Cypher y'know has a mask with eyes that pretend to blink, i like to imagine he also is very expressive with his body language to make up for the fact he has a mask. and Omen would copy the way Cypher likes to tilt his head, or the eccentric way Cypher waves his hands about. Cypher finds it interesting, and would often subtly do unique things such as a certain gesture or a walking to a certain pattern just so that he could see Omen imitate it later, either with him or elsewhere. The only time these little imitations seem *real* and *lifelike* is when Omen isn't trying to do them. Like how Omen will often imitate breathing just on his own, or the way he likes to keep a hand on the wall as he walks by because it is grounding and he likes to know where he is relative to the walls around him, or how he leans toward things he finds interesting so that he can focus better and hear them clearer. Omen doesn't realize that he is trying to put together a collage of everyone's unique traits in a desperate bid to make himself seem human- he doesn't realize that the little things HE does are what make him seem alive. that those little things are proof that he is not just going through the motions and making a fake personality from bits and pieces of everyone else, because he has his own thoughts, opinions, and little quirks that no one else shares. Omen really hasn't existed very long, has he? and yet, he's already killed countless people. from copies of friends, to copies of himself. how could that not fuck somebody up? he went through unimaginable pain, and cannot even hold himself together on a bad day (quite literally), and has looked himself dead in the eye and shot a replica of himself dead. When he has only known the VALORANT protocol- has only known Viper, who isn't known for her empathy- how could he have ever figured out what makes people human? where would he have managed to come up with the idea that his emotions are his own? where does that leave time to realize that he does not have to desperately copy people so that he can be SOMEONE? or really, so he can pretend that he is alive, in some compacity? and I love the idea that Cypher, who struggled with the same problems, sees Omen struggling and he helps him. Cypher is all too familiar with thinking he is not like the others, and has already grappled with the idea that something about him is wrong. and maybe he isn't quite over that idea, yet. maybe he's just pretending he is, but he'll TRY so that he can help Omen, because he just cant let Omen struggle with those thoughts alone. and Omen realizes, that even if he might not be human nor technically alive, that it is okay because Cypher loves him either way, and thats enough for Omen to want to keep going.

#valorant omen #valorant headcanons #Omen *has* to have issues #i do not take criticism #valorant cypher #cyphmen #shadowire #wow there are so many ship names #they are so cute though

[heavenlymorals]

How a Modern Perspective Skews Historical Characters: A Mini Rant on the Hatred of Female Characters in RDR2

This isn't that organized cuz it's more a rant than a retrospective but fuck it it's my blog, I do what I want-

There are so many people who have actual hatred, not criticisms, for Abigail, Molly, Grimshaw, Mary, and other female characters in the Red Dead universe.

And honestly? I find it very interesting. Sure, men will probably always find a reason to hate a female character, but what I find interesting is how many women also hate these wonderfully crafted characters.

It could be so many reasons as to why this may be the case but honestly? I think it's because people forget that they CANNOT analyze this game authentically through the modern lens of morals and behaviors. This game takes place in 1899 America. Let me say it again. This game takes place in 1899 America.

One more time, just for good measure- this game takes place in FUCKING 1899 America. Women had to be dependent on men because otherwise? They'll either be in poverty, exploited, killed, or all three. There was also the honor system. When had to be the moral high ground for their family so them messing up has consequences on their fathers, mothers, siblings, cousins, and anyone connected to their family name.

Abigail getting pissy at John for getting in trouble all the time? If course it'd feel annoying if you're looking at it through the modern perspective but when you don't, it's a woman telling her man to act like a man and be careful because if he doesn't, she and her son will be destitute and destroyed.

Mary not getting with Arthur but using him? What's the likely hood that the law would bother to help Mary when the two people she needs help with are her father and brother- two grown men who can make their own choices that she literally can do nothing about because as a woman, it wasn't her place to dictate what they do. Arthur was her only option. "Girl, what her family thinks doesn't matter, she still should've gotten with him" girl no, because it's much harder and difficult than that- it's like tearing away an entire identity that you depend on to fucking survive.

"but what about Sadie? She was also living during this time period and she isn't drowned by societal expectations-"

Seriously. Do some research, read a book, expand your knowledge of gender roles and what that entails for people because it explains so many things about these characters in such a human way. They aren't "bitches", they are women of their time and people have to understand that.

No. Sadie isn't a part of this discussion because though she is a fun character and an amazing character, she is a mishmash of historical women who did masculine things to survive at one point but then went back to traditional roles, even if they did occasionally go back to to those old activities for sport sometimes, like Anne Oakley or Calamity Jane. Sadie's entire character is basically "but what if they didn't and committed to the nontraditional lifestyle". There are many inconsistencies that Rockstar did regarding the time period that they established earlier to accommodate Sadie's character better. Sadie is a great character but she doesn't belong in this discussion.

Edit: Ok, since this was a rant, as mentioned previously, I was a bit too rushed with the Sadie aspect of this post and ignored some crucial details. I'm not gonna change the post besides just this though. @hillbillyhipster84 made some great points that Sadie was a reference to Appalachian women and real outlaw women who did run and were accomplices in men's crimes, that I was too ignorant to mention prior beforehand because I didn't do much research. I still don't believe that People should use Sadie to bash the other women though, because those women mentioned above were not the status quo and thus were more trivialized because of it.

So many cultures still operate like this too so if anything, you're just learning something new about another culture.

But I swear, anytime someone talks shit about these characters, y'all got me looking like this-

#rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #abigail marston #mary linton #susan grimshaw #molly o'shea #arthur morgan #rant post #historical #guys should i do a full post analyzing all the girlies from a historical period to better understand their character?

[notnights]

So obviously it's still too early to properly analyze the exact relationship dynamic between Jax and Gangle in canon. I promise this is less of me trying to find legitimate proof of any character speculations, and more just a string of very quick, messy personal thoughts on the topic. Context and motivation for their behaviors are likely to be explained in future episodes, and until then there's still quite a lot of uncharted territory left to explore. (Although I will say that both these characters are surprisingly more active and engaging with each other upon rewatch. aka, their willingness to be around one another seems mutual, the bullying is not.)

The only information that we can currently gather about Gangle are her canon appearances, the preview screenshot Glitch posted on the official account and to a lesser extent, Gangle's concept art sketches: Alot of it being about her fixation and dependency towards her comedy mask. We don't know whether she's fixated on the actual sensation being happy 24/7 or just the ability to appear joyful around everybody else just yet, or What her real-world equivalent of the mask was, or even if there ever was a real-world equivalent to begin with. But, Personal indictment is that she does genuinely want long term companionship and meaningful connections with other people. Or at the very least, not be subtly ostracized out of social convention. I think she believes that curating her outward demeanor might change the way others perceive her, and hopefully the way they interact with her as well. It doesn't really help that each of the circus crew are all a bit too much in their own heads to notice, one way or another. Even if they do mean well at the end of the day, it's never quite what she's really looking to accomplish. (It also doesn't help that her digital design is so detached from being human either, she's essentially a flat face on a piece of string. One can't really blame her for trying to make the most of what she's able to display tbh.)

So far, we know Jax is apathetic, violent and generally antagonistic towards everyone in the main cast, sometimes deliberately towards the girls. I think it isn't all that farfetched to believe he latched on to Gangle because she was malleable enough to target without facing most of the consequences. Subsequently, there's also the idea of him relating Gangle's tragedy mask to her willingness to comply: It's an emotional vulnerability for her (She already sees herself as less deserving of human interaction in this state, she won't have anyone else to go to, she doesn't seem to like being left alone). It's not farfetched to assume Jax sees the tragedy mask as a more "complied version" of Gangle, more entertaining and easier to string along. Me thinks he prefers it, but again. It's too soon to tell. Anyways something something designated role in group activities something something internalized self-worth I think Gangle and Ragatha have very similar philosophies when it comes to people pleasing and it almost makes me believe in the theory that they secretly don't get along even more.

(btw plz feel absolutely no pressure to respond to any of this at all - Again, very messy thoughts that I barely had time to collect. Ribbun is an unexpected infection with unfortunately very thought consuming brain fodder to me personally. Have a nice day.

I like these thoughts! It'll be really interesting to see how the Comedy and Tragedy masks work for Gangle.

I do agree Jax probably prefers Tragedy Gangle as even if it's only as deep as "she's funnier like that." And Gangle is the easiest victim for him in that state.

We've seen everyone (but Kinger, who Jax kind of doesn't bother too much, and you could argue it's because Kinger doesn't give an entertaining reaction) fight back against Jax's behavior in some way. Ragatha yells at him, Zooble isn't afraid to get physical, and we can tell Pomni had death on her mind when he threw her off the truck. The most Gangle has done is timidly resist for a few seconds before compiling. Steps on her mask, pushes her, grabs her and puts her in the drivers seat, she doesn't say anything.

She has a couple of bite back words, but then Jax just bites back and it shuts her down. Which is interesting because when Ragatha yells at him it's clear he thinks its funny and merely snarks back at her, often getting her to yell more. He gets different reactions out of everyone in the group and picks different entertainment from that. Gangle might be the one he knows he has proper control over.

As for the Ragatha and Gangle thing, I was really interested in the fact no one cared when Gangle broke her mask in the pilot, not even Ragatha who is our outwardly most caring. You could say it's because she had tunnel vision on Pomni, but I immediately interpreted it as, yeah Gangle's mask breaks all the time, she's crying all the time, eventually people stop caring. The boy who cried wolf, etc etc.

Even if Ragatha doesn't have direct conflict with Gangle, the fact Ragatha is someone who internalizes everything, and projects a positive outlook, I imagine someone like Gangle would make her pretty uncomfortable.

Here Ragatha is trying her darnest to keep it together and remain positive, meanwhile Gangle is crying all the time behind her.

"It's not so bad here Pomni, I promise!" as Gangle cries in the background.

Gangle being a constant reminder of how Ragatha, and maybe all of them really feel about being stuck here. Too early to say if Ragatha resents Gangle for this, or how she really feels about it. But if she does that's so sad because (we also don't know yet) Gangle has no control over these feelings, it wasn't her choice for her avatar to work like this.

Which honestly could be a good allegory for how certain people view mental illness in the real world too. Ragatha being a loved one who's uncomfortable with Gangle's moods, or even believes if Gangle just tried hard enough like her (example: keeping her comedy mask safe) she'd be fine. Ooh sad comic ideas.

#ask #long post

[salchat]

So, here's another Dean. This one's in neocolor crayon, which are very soft crayons - you can use water with them, but I haven't here, because the paper's newsprint and it would fall to pieces very quickly if I used water.

While I was drawing, I was pondering various arty matters. Mainly, how some art/craft posts - mostly on Facebook rather than here - irritate the hell out of me. You know the ones. Where there's some amazing piece of art/craft, but the caption is something like, 'please be kind - it's my first time!' When it's blatantly not their first time, unless art and craft is just plain easy, which it isn't. Anyway, I'm not sure why people make those posts - for others to comment how amazing they are? I suppose. But it must be pretty hollow to receive such compliments. Unless it really is their first time. And even then...

So, anyway, it made me think, why do I post my art? What exactly do I get out of it? Do I do it to receive validation in the form of compliments? I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, but I just wanted to be really honest with myself. And also, why do I make art in the first place and why this particular type of art, drawing the same characters over and over?

Well, I think I draw for the same, or similar reasons that I write - because it's my own world, that I can control. There's comfort there, isn't there? And comfort in the characters I draw and write about - they're not called comfort characters for nothing, after all. And they're beautiful, aren't they? They're just damn beautiful. Why wouldn't I want to draw them?

So, I guess I want to pour my love into creating something beautiful, or as near beauty as I can get. And I choose to do that with my crayons or my charcoal or my pastels because I love those things too - their colours, the way they spread, the way you can make big, soft marks or sharp, dark marks, the way you can smush them around with your fingers, the way you can just mess about and sometimes it doesn't work and sometimes you get an amazing effect that you didn't know was possible. I love drawing randomly, roughly, searching and searching until I find what I want.

But why post online? Hmm... Well, yes, it is nice when people think what I've created is technically skilful. I have an ego that likes to be stroked, same as anyone else. But if that was the only reason, I'd probably cheat. Some people do. And if that makes them happy, who am I to criticize?

Anyway, I think what I'm after is connection, which is in no way an original thought. That's what makes fandom so wonderful, isn't it? The way you can find connections with other people all over the world. I think when I post, I'm looking for people who love the same kinds of things that I do - the same characters, obviously, but also the same kind of approach to art. The colours and the roughness, the playfulness and the 'continuing mission' to find beauty. I think I post in the hopes that someone will see my art and think, 'hey, I like that.' And that they'll feel a little spark of joy.

I think that's what all our fan creations are about. You get the firework of joy and excitement that goes off when you create your story or your picture and then, around the fandom world, other people get a spark struck from your joy. Which is pretty flowery stuff, but, hey - I'm a writer, aren't I?

That's enough rambling. Nearly. Because I also want to do the thing I often do, which is totally anti the 'it's my first time!' kind of posts. This is very far from my first time and I want you to see the crappiness of my progress shots, because it's important to know that there's almost always a lot of crappy stages before you reach something you consider beautiful. Not perfect. I'm not after perfection, which is impossible anyway, and I would never say any of my stuff is perfect because it's far from perfect and I don't want that - I want life and humanity and striving toward something.

I'm gonna shut up now, because there are burgers to be cooked and chocolate cake to be eaten, and hey! Doctor Who's on soon! Bye!

#dean winchester #my art #rambling #waffling

[levmada]

AOT MANGA SPOILERS!

i think what Ymir Fritz was after her whole life (and afterlife) was true love. or at least proof of it.

(read ch122 for her full backstory (which is a masterclass in visual storytelling and storytelling in general) but...)

we don't learn a single thing about Ymir as a person beyond that she seems to long for love from the time she was a child.

also, she more than anyone (in the aot universe) knows endless, merciless suffering. from a very young age she knew the world was cruel.

that’s the reason in my mind that - after getting the power of the Titans - she didn’t rebel against the king. she didn’t run away. she did whatever the king asked of her because for once in her life she was wanted. even in this completely backwards and transactional way, all Ymir knows of love is this, even though it’s just slavery at its core.

so the king got married to her and she had her three daughters, who Ymir doesn't find love in either. it seems her children are more proof of her enslavement. Ymir doesn't even find that true love she wants in her own daughters. she's still miserable.

13 years after she got the power, there’s an attempt on the king’s life, without hesitation she protects him. she, effectively, is willing to face certain death to that end.

so we establish this. to Ymir, love = self-sacrifice.

i feel that Ymir finally reaches the end of her ability to "love" the king. this is her breaking point. her final misery among a thousand other miseries she's accepted from him.

she isn't loved. she was willing to give her life, and yet he doesn't love her.

after this rejection, she doesn’t heal herself. we know that in order to use the Titan powers, you have to have a goal (the way Eren learned to transform in The Spoon Incident and later, Reiner doing something similar to Ymir). but she was finished.

Ymir had the power to manufacture a dimension without life or death. the paths. and would spend 2,000 years there doing what she always did and obeying her “king” - the Eldian with the Founding Titan. she wouldn't serve her king directly anymore, but enslavement is Ymir's only definition of love, so that's what she will continue to do.

until she observes a true display of true love.

now (and this is interesting) this is where the concept of the Ackermans come in. i explain in this, this, and this post the Ackermans and the Ackerbond, which is important for understanding this post.

so first, why Mikasa? why would she specifically be the one to free Ymir?

at the time the chapter came out, people criticized Isayama and Eren not knowing how Mikasa was the key the giving Ymir peace. but think about it. Eren doesn't know the depths of Ymir's heart, true. he also got the same exact omnipotence Ymir had thanks to (1) possessing the Founding Titan and (2) effectively having royal blood thanks to the way he enslaved Zeke. Eren has the same exact knowledge that Uri or Frieda had.

but of course, Eren wasn’t BUILT to be god. he has no right to it. Grisha gave him the Founding Titan and he forced Zeke to use his royal blood. Eren says that he started experiencing the past, present, and future all at the same time. of course he wouldn’t know why it’s Mikasa.

what we do know is that the timeline of aot is linear, and can’t be changed. i talk more about that in my Eren character analysis.

the person to ultimately give Ymir peace was going to be Mikasa no matter what. how?

1: being an Ackerman means possessing Titan powers while being a human. would that not also mean that an Ackerman has a special connection to Ymir?

it's different from being a Titan shifter. the potential to awaken their Titan-like powers are their birthright.

2: I linked above my thoughts on the “Ackerbond”. but in a nutshell, Ackermans have the best of both worlds. made to be obedient “Titan-like” tools to protect the king. to be the strongest slaves. while also possessing the best trait of a human being, and that’s the ability to love (as Isayama conveys in aot). so a major trait in Ackermans, i think, is this enhanced ability and propensity to love one special person.

what’s so striking about this from what would be Ymir’s point of view is that, like her, Ackermans have the traits of a Titan like she did, but Ackermans CHOOSE who they are “enslaved” to. it’s not slavery at all. what a shock that must be to someone like Ymir, I mean right?

Levi and Mikasa have their respective moment of “a display of true love” towards their lieges in the series. i want to compare.

Erwin and Levi.

to be succinct, Levi shouldered the weight of Erwin’s sins. [i talk about it more here and in the second half of this post here]. Erwin puts not his life in Levi’s hands, but what comes after. someone putting their trust in their other even in the face of certain death, certain grief, is a major display of true love. (as Isayama conveys in aot that is.)

then, both despite and because of Levi’s love for Erwin, he was strong enough to end his suffering. to let him rest, even though he had the choice to bring him back. that is a major display of true love.

Erwin and Levi both sacrifice aspects of themselves for the other.

what do Levi’s and Mikasa’s moment both have in common?

the willingness to share the weight of their liege’s sins, their darkness, their shortcomings, their most vulnerable sides. that's unconditional love.

But Mikasa’s moment is even more special to Ymir.

Eren’s sins are obviously much more grievous and unforgivable than Erwin’s. that speaks more to how much value Mikasa’s “display of true love” has objectively. and, Mikasa wasn't able to "bring Eren back". (besides obvious plot reasons).

even though it was certain that Eren wasn’t going to be forgiven, that he would have to die, Mikasa’s love never wavered.

both despite and because of Mikasa’s love for Eren, she would be the one strong enough to end his suffering.

Mikasa and Eren both sacrifice aspects of themselves for the other.

Ymir had no one willing or strong enough to end her suffering.

Ymir believes true love is love enduring even in the face of certain grief through mutual sacrifice.

and that’s why she is seen smiling when Mikasa kills Eren. with that, Ymir is finally at peace.

#please reblog this it took so much work🥲 #aot spoilers #snk spoilers #eremika #eruri #aot meta #snk manga #ymir fritz #ymir fritz aot #attack on titan meta #attack on titan manga #erwin x levi #eren x mikasa

[inblackwoods]

More on why this is so later, but when Daniil talks to people, he tends to mirror their speech patterns. This makes even very short conversations with some people- Big Vlad, for one- complex. The first thing Vlad says to Bachelor is:

“Ah, Bachelor Dankovsky, of course… Who else could be so dapper… I’ve heard quite a lot about you… Have you taken a look around? Be sure to check the state of the industry around here… We have our own ways.”

To which the Bachelor immediately picks up on a certain, thinly veiled bitchy energy. He responds: “How curious! And what is the current state of your industry?”

Big Vlad and Daniil are unfortunately similar in some ways- adhering to social etiquette and politeness leads to a lot of subtle, backhanded compliments, carefully worded insults, and politicking. “Who else could be so dapper,” (you uppity little snob), is retaliated with a comment implying something might not be so grand about Vlad’s industry. But neither of them will say anything directly. “We have our own ways,” is also leading to the more interesting aspect of this conversation. Vlad speaks flippantly about the Bull Project, acting as if it were as natural and unchangeable as gravity, and furthermore is beyond an outsider’s comprehension, so it certainly couldn’t be criticized by someone like Daniil. Yet the entire time Vlad’s suggesting as much, he is avoiding direct statements on it.

He says: “Come now… It’s a complicated establishment with a thousand years of history. A special approach is required to control such a colossus. See where I’m getting at, emissary?”

And Bachelor responds: “But no! Such businesses always leave room for improvement.”

It’s the same airy, dismissive sort of manner of speaking that Vlad was using, but this time to challenge and dismiss the notion that the industry is beyond question, scrutiny, or improvement, even from an outsider. Bachelor is speaking in a way that lets Vlad know that he knows how Vlad is trying to manipulate him and he’s NOT having it. He’ll make it clear by recognizing and perfectly mirroring the evasive “polite” playing dumb that Vlad is doing. 

What’s interesting is that Bachelor cares to do all of this, to argue about something that doesn't really impact or benefit him. He isn't planning on staying in town, why care how the industry/power structure is designed? Why care to fight for the Kin (who do become major points of discussion in Daniil's conversations with both Vlads) even in the most indirect capacity? Daniil isn’t always kind to the Kin, though he can be decent depending on how you play him, and he does have an amount of fondness for and connection to Isidor. I think there are two other reasons. 

One, Daniil hates anyone who tries to control his reactions, thoughts, feelings, or words. Vlad wants to force Daniil into a certain perspective, keep him ignorant to exploit him instead of giving him any information. Vlad is trying to give him no other options but to agree with him. Bachelor doesn't take kindly to being controlled and it isn't easy to do (though it does happen a lot). Two, Bachelor is dedicated to absolute truth (despite his own deceptive tendencies) and the Olgimskys are some of the biggest liars. They treat the Bull Project like it's a natural fact of human existence and it is absolutely not. The subjugation of the Kin is cruel and violent and not at all the natural order of people or the world- pretending otherwise is blatantly false and gross, even to Daniil. Of course all of this would piss Bachelor "truth is my shepherd" Dankovsky off.  When Vlad says "The sanitary inspection last year testified that the Bull Project is in order. Nothing to cavil at. Everything’s fine," that should sound an alarm, and it does for Daniil.

If any of this is of interest, my transcription and analysis is here. This project is what inspired other posts like this one.

#Pathologic #Pathologic HD Classic #мор утопия