#i do think some of this is overthinking but it's fun

[harrysgal]

I DIG YOUR CINEMA (2)

harry styles x yn aspiring filmmaker — social media AU

I know I’m just starting and don’t actually have much experience with this, but I’m actually having a lot of fun doing it and already can’t wait to post more.

About the smau: yn starts posting videos on youtube and is trying to build a career as a filmmaker. Things are going pretty well for her and she starts getting more attention when she creates content about shows she goes to. She’s also a fan of Harry’s music and some of his fans start getting suspicious when his team starts interacting with her.

Disclaimer: The story it’s set in 2021 and it will follow their relationship through the LOT leg in the US. Since this is nothing but fiction, I will be following some of the real timeline but also adding my own stuff. On top of that, I won’t be basing myself on Harry’s actual posts.

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PART 1 — MEET YN

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I DIG YOUR CINEMA (PART 2) — LAS VEGAS

liked by bestfriend, yourmom, mollyjane_x and 22,108 others 

yourinstagram HELLOOOOOOO FABULOUS LAS VEGAS NEVADA 

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user1 soooo… a new full time job that took you to las vegas? 👀 yourbrother Please behave  bestfriend don’t get (too) drunk without me pls harryfan STOP FIRST LOT SHOW IT’S IN VEGAS 

↳ harryfan2 She’s going to the show right???? I mean it can’t be just a coincidence anymore IT JUST CAN’T ↳ harryfan NO I KNOW THIS IS IT I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES

Aug 26, 2021 •

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liked by bestfriend, cuteguy, mollyjane_x and 22,451 others 

yourinstagram you’d think a lady in vegas would be out there getting wild but this one actually has been locked in her hotel room for the last 27 hours overthinking her ideas and freaking out about this new job lol if any of you could send me a pizza or something id appreciate it. thanks. 

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user1 nooooo you’re so talented whatever it is i know you can do it!! bestfriend yn ✋🏻  cuteguy Should I give you a call? 😊 harryfan17 I would too be freaking out if I had to work for THE harry styles lol

↳ harryfan16 we still don’t know if she is tho  ↳ harryfan17 C’mon she’s in vegas and molly and jeff are following her ↳ harryfan16 still 🤷🏻‍♀️ tour doesn’t start for another few days so this could be just about something else  ↳ harryfan16 also maybe she’s there because she wants to be and not bc she’s “working” for him. she’s done videos about several artists and she isn’t working for any of them is she?  ↳ harryfan17 Well yes but she literally just said she was starting a new job so 🤷‍♀️ ↳ harryfan16 so everyone just assumed HARRY, out of all people, hired her? c’mon guys lol she could be working for just anyone and STILL go to a show. one doesn’t have to be related to the other.

Aug 28, 2021 •

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liked by anthonypham, bestfriend, lookitsnyoh and 25,103 others 

yourinstagram fun fact: if you post something on the internet people around you might see it 🫠

guess im lucky this lovely group who still don’t know me at all cared enough to drag me out of my room and show me around the city. sometimes i get so caught up inside my mind that i forget how important human connection is — which is funny if you think most of my videos are exactly about that lol. so plssssss make sure to surround yourself with (nice) people. also get some sleep, drink water and feed yourself. it’ll do wonderful things for you!!!

anyway my mom was worried about my “not leaving the room post” so this is just me saying everythings good!! (i also already called her of course <3)

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bestfriend LOVE YOU harryfan the new followers the new likes 😭 it’s happening i knew it  user1 so true bestie!! this reminded me of your 2nd video i think

↳ yourinstagram omg yesssss!!  ↳ user1 ahh i missed your interactions <3  ↳ yourinstagram i knowww! promise i’ll try my best to keep interacting even if it’s not as much as before 💗

lookitsnyoh my belly still hurts from all the laughing 

↳ yourinstagram and my mind is still rushing from all the talking ↳ anthonypham go to sleep you two 

harryfan9 I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING BUT OMFG I’M SO HERE FOR IT

Aug 29, 2021 •

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liked by anthonypham, mollyjane_x, bestfriend and 27,257 others 

yourinstagram sightseeing left me speechless. but here’s a picture from tonight. 

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user1 omg you’re feeding us this week! i’m so happy you’re being active again <3 harryfan78 POST A PICTURE OF YOURSELF I WANT TO MEET YOU AT THE SHOW BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE 

↳ user4 calm down pls? we like to behave as respectful human beings on this profile

bestfriend ❤️❤️❤️ bestfriend i’m losing my mind but i’m also so excited and proud! user7 I miss your videos :( lookitsnyoh when was this? where was I? bummed that I missed it!

↳ yourinstagram sorryyy just a last minute decision after dinner :( ↳ lookitsnyoh ohhhh makes sense now! Glad it left you speechless ↳ yourinstagram i mean the city is beautiful  ↳ lookitsnyoh sure thing it is 👽

Sep 1, 2021 •

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liked by harryfan, harryfan2 and 15,157 others 

fanwhometharry GUYS I JUST MET HARRY I’M SHAKKNG I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE NOW 

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harryfan64 omg where did you meet him??

↳ fanwhometharry AT THE BELLAGIO  ↳ harryfan64 is he staying there???  ↳ fanwhometharry NO!! I MEAN IDK?? I DONT RHINK SO I JUST MET HIM OUTSIDE AT THE FOUNTAINS  ↳ harryfan74 hmm not tryin to be rude or something but that sounds like a weird place for him to be tbh ↳ fanwhometharry I FUCKKNG KNOW THAT?? I MEAN MY PARENTS WANTED TO SEE THE WATER SHOW SO I TAGGED ALONG BUT NEVER EVER THOUGHT ID BUMP INTO HIM THERE

harryfan62 you’re so lucky!! was he alone???

↳ imetharry I DONT KNOW?? I DONT REMEMBER I WAS SO NERVOUS  ↳ imetharry I KNOW THERE WAS A GIRL NEARBY BC SHE HANDED HIM A PEN WHEN I COULDNT FIND MINE BUT I DONT KNOW IF SHE WAS WITH HJIM OR NOT ↳ harryfan62 who was this girl? Anyone from the LOT crew? ↳ imetharry IDK I JUST SAID I DONT EVEN KNOW IF SHE WAS WITH HIM OR NOT 😭

harryfan15 Hi hun! Don’t listen to people, they're just jealous. It was really sweet of him to sign that for you! Hope you have a great time at the show 💕

↳ imetharry THANK YOU 😭😭 HE WAS THERE JUST WATCHING LIKE A NORMAL PERSON SO I DIDN’T WANT TO TAKE A PIC IF PEOPLE DON’T BELIEVE ME THEN I DON’T CARE I KNOW IT’S REAL 😭😭

Sep 1, 2021 •

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liked by gemmastyles, anthonypham, jefezoff and 35,109 others 

yourinstagram having to keep this secret from the world was the most cruelest thing that anyone has ever done to me. but whatever… it’s fine… i’m okay… i’m just gonna pretend this wasn’t a big deal and i didn’t just watch one of my favorite artists perform my favorite songs… and then i’ll just casually say: pls stay tuned for next wednesday when my new video will be up 😇

(i’ll be back and share more details once my serotonin levels have normalized again)

view all 7,125 comments

bestfriend i love you so much thank you for representing us so well  harryfan I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT OMFG I CANT WAIT I KNEW IT harryfan2 YN KASDHUHHD PLS OMFG YOU CAN’T JUST SAY THIS AND LEAVE user1 😲 i can’t wait for this one! harrystyles soz 

↳ harryfan OMFG HARRY ↳ harryfan5 ?????????????????????????? ↳ harryfan3 AUIDHIAUSHDBAJH WTF ↳ harryfan9 ARE YOU F KIDDING ME WHATS HE DOING HERE

cuteguy Nice! Glad you’re having a good time darling. 

Sep 4, 2021 •

— — — — — 

PART 3: DENVER

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If you happen to read and enjoy this, pls let me know? 🙏 thanks!! it would be nice to know if this is working, or what else would people would like to see.

#harry styles fake social media #harry styles social media au #harry styles fake ig #harry styles fake instagram #harry x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles smau #harry styles fic #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing

[tsukimara]

𝙷𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚜 𝚑𝚎𝚛?𔓘

➸ "Forever together" Masterlist (Important)

➸ A silent voice / Koe no katachi AU

➸ Warning: Bullying, death wish, overthinking (?), anxiety.

➸ ����PREVIOUS ||𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒|| NEXT 𖹭

➸ Chapter 3

Scaramouche immediately pulled his hand away from her, a small blush on his face. She didn't know why he reacted like that, she just wanted to be friends with him.

"What's your problem?!" — Heizou noticed the small blush on Scaramouche's cheeks and started to laugh quietly at him but got a sharp look from Scaramouche to shut up. He looked at her again and then she saw him take her notebook and throw it into the water nearby.

"Scara, was it really necessary-" — Scaramouche interrupted Kazuha — "Let's just go." — But as they were about to go, they heard the splash of water, and as they turned around, they saw her trying to find her notebook. Scaramouche started laughing at her but she still tried to find her notebook without giving up.

Scaramouche saw nothing wrong with bullying her. After all, it was her fault for ruining the entire atmosphere in the classroom, if it weren't for her, everything would be the same as before. This gave him satisfaction.

Until.

"Class, we would like to discuss something with you that is very important, that's why the principal is here." — Said Mr. Ragnvindr who had his arms crossed which showed he was not in a mood. The principal cleared his throat and began to speak — "This is about [ Name ] [ Last Name ] who, as you can see, is not with us here today. Yesterday we received a call from [ Name ]'s father. [ Name ]'s hearing aids have been broken or gone missing. Hearing aids are very expensive. Her father believes [ Name ] is being bullied." — There was silence in the class — "If any of you have seen [ Name ] being harassed or abused at school, I need you to tell me who is doing it. If no one says anything, unfortunately I will have to call your parents."

Scaramouche moved his leg nervously, he didn't even know why he was reacting like that. He noticed his hand shaking on the desk, he knew he had to tell the truth but was he sure? If he counted all the hearing aids he had destroyed, he knew his mother might even be short of money.

"This is a really serious matter and the school does not accept bullying-" "Raiden!" — The shout of his name brought him back to earth as he quickly stood up. Mr. Ragnvindr frowned at him, he tried to look less nervous but failed miserably.

"Now Megistus, you're sitting right next to him, what have you seen?" — Mona was a bit surprised when the teacher involved her in this, she didn't want to get in trouble, so she cleared her throat nervously — "Well, it's kind of true, he does tease her a little uhh like he makes fun of her." — Scara looked at her in disbelief. It's true what she said, but he didn't think she would say it and she didn't say it either, that she was talking behind her back.

"And Kaedehara?"

Kazuha was Scaramouche's best friend, he didn't want him to get in trouble but he also couldn't lie, what he did to [ Name ] was truly cruel. He felt guilty for not doing anything, so he looked away so as not to meet Scaramouche's gaze, who probably thought he would support him in this matter.

"It's... True."

Scaramouche couldn't believe what he heard — "What? It's not fair! You all made fun of her too! Everyone did it! I swear it's true! Especially Mona and Sucrose!" — When he finished, Sucrose suddenly started crying. She took off her glasses to wipe away the tears that were falling.

"That's mean... I would never do anything like that. How... How could you say something like that...?" — The entire class started whispering and some even looked at Scaramouche with furious expressions for making Sucrose cry. Why was everyone looking at him like that? It wasn't just his fault! Why did everyone blame only him and not the rest?! Why?!

From that day on, his 'friends' turned away from him. Most of them looked at him in disgust for what he had done. That's why he's sitting in dirty water now, because he was pushed in, a soaked school bag with books is lying next to him, some of them even fell completely into the water, and one was on his head. He saw his 'friends' walk away, not wanting to have anything to do with him today. Reluctantly, he started to take his books out of the water when suddenly he saw a notebook, but it wasn't his, and when he opened it, he saw a signature.

6-2 [ Name ] [ Last Name ]

So this was her notebook, huh? He thought she took it out. He started looking through her notebook, the first few pages had many nice words written on them, such as 'good luck' , 'you look nice' and others. Turning to the next pages, he saw that people were no longer writing nice things, on the contrary. They were also annoyed that they had to keep helping her and she only replied 'I'm sorry'. He shook his head, not believing that he had read it, like it or not, he took the notebook and headed towards his house. He was soaked and especially today he wanted to avoid his mother, so he discreetly entered the house, when he thought he had succeeded, he suddenly heard her.

"Kunikuzushi!" — But he completely ignored her as he climbed the stairs — "Come back here! I'm talking to you!" — She followed him, not wanting to leave him alone when the school called her and informed her about everything

"Kunikuzushi. They called from school...wait a minute, why are you so wet?" — Scaramouche had his back to her, but she could see water dripping from him and his school bag.

"Leave me alone. I jumped in the river like always." — He wanted to go to his room and never come out again, but his mother wouldn't leave him alone, continuing the conversation — "Have you been causing trouble at school?"

"No..."

"Then why did I get a call from your teacher this afternoon?"

"Okay fine! It's true!" — Scaramouche couldn't stand it anymore and yelled, looking into her eyes. He saw in her eyes that she was disappointed. He no longer had the strength to explain himself to her.

"Get cleaned up, We're going to [ Last Name ]." — With that, she left and he just tightened his grip on [ Name ] notebook.

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Scaramouche sat in the back of the car watching out the window as his mother took the bank's money, he frowned when he noticed how much his mother had taken. Then they arrived at the place where [ Name ]'s father was waiting for them, he didn't look angry but he didn't look calm either. He had long white hair that reached down to his waist, pale skin and dark blue eyes that could kill with just one look, or at least that's what he felt. Leaning against the car, he saw his mother handing money to [ Name ]'s father. Scaramouche couldn't read his expression as to what he was thinking now, it was still the same. His mother waved at him and left with [ Name ]'s father, who frowned as he looked at Scara, making him shiver a little.

He knew it would take some time so he decided to walk around the area. While walking, he noticed a staircase going down so he went down but suddenly stopped when he saw [ Name ]. She was sitting on a bench feeding pigeons with bread, she didn't even realize he was standing there. What was she doing here?! Not wanting to be noticed, he quickly hid behind a column. He wanted to walk behind her, but he accidentally tripped over the uneven sidewalk, causing the pigeons to get scared and fly away.

"What are you looking at?!" — Scaramouche quickly ran towards the steps to the bridge. He didn't expect her here, he thought her father came here without her. Panting, he placed his hands on his knees as he reached the bridge. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her again, but she wasn't alone, but with her father this time. He wanted to say he was sorry but his ego wouldn't let him and why should he be the only one apologizing? Her father looked him up and down.

"What a vulgar face... Just like your mother's." — Her father started to lead her to the car when he said this. She didn't know what he said so she just smiled and Scaramouche clenched his fist when he heard it. They are comparing him to his mother again.

"Let's go home, Kuni." — He scoffed when he heard how she called him but didn't add anything else. This day was hard and exhausting for him, he preferred not to have another argument with his mother. He thought everything would be back to normal tomorrow, but he was wrong.

The next day at school, when he was about to change his shoes, he saw that they had pins in them, just like he did to [ Name ]...

After she came.

His friends changed.

He changed.

They used to get along so well.

He got hit in the head with the ball from his 'friends', just like he did to [ Name ] ...

It's all her fault.

His shoes were thrown into the garbage, just like he did to [ Name ]...

[ Name ] [ Last Name ].

They took his school bag and threw all his stuff on the ground, just like he did to [ Name ]...

He hates her.

He was doused with a garden hose, just like he did to [ Name ]...

HE HATES HER.

He was interrupted from his thoughts by [ Name ] who crouched down next to him and started picking up his things that were scattered around. When she noticed that he was looking at her, she smiled, which irritated him and he sharply grabbed his things from her.

"Get your hands off my stuff! Go away!" — He didn't want HER to help him. He didn't want any of HER help. He didn't want HER to feel sorry for him. He wasn't like HER. She didn't know what to do, so she decided to leave when she saw him herding her with his hand. She just wanted to help him.

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"Gone?!" — Scaramouche whispered to himself when he noticed his shoes were missing. He was furious but chose to ignore it. After all, he wanted this life, right? It's not boring anymore...

Every day something had to happen. He couldn't sit in the classroom because his chair disappeared several times, and while cleaning, others dropped dirt on him, saying it was an accident and his shoes often disappeared.

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"You lost your shoes again?" — Ei asked him as they were eating dinner and his sister was sitting across from him — "Yeah, I lost them in the river."

He noticed his mother frowning, not really believing him, but he didn't want to show that he was weak — "Do you want me to talk to your teacher?" — What did she care anyway? — "About what?"

"About your shoes..." — Scaramouche rolled his eyes and scoffs — " I told you I lost them in the river!" — Ei just sighed and went back to eating. She hoped he really lost his shoes in the river and not because of something else.

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While going to school, he started thinking about the words his teacher once told him. 'Your responsibility...' It kept going through his mind over and over again, and he started to notice that he was walking with his head in the clouds. which hadn't happened to him before. What's happening to him?

After putting on a new pair of shoes, he walked towards his classroom with his hands in his pockets. As he was about to enter the room, he noticed [ Name ] soaking a cloth and wiping the words off her desk? She's still being bullied? Sucks to be her... Wait, no. That was his desk...

Unexpectedly, he moved her away from his desk, which had many things written on it, but what stood out the most was the large "DIE" written in the middle... So they wanted his dead...? He stared blankly at the sign and then his attention was caught by the fresh flowers on the windowsill, which [ Name ] probably brought. Did that mean she came here every morning and erased the writing on his desk?

Stupid girl.

He felt her put a hand on his shoulder but he moved away from her. She's stupid. Why did she do it? Why did she remove them? He treated her badly!

"Get out!" — He exclaimed in her face as she held the cloth she was wiping his desk close to her, he knew she couldn't hear me so he showed her the door with his finger, she just nodded slowly and left the classroom. He was alone now, the silence squeaking uncomfortably in his ears as he rested his hands on his desk. She really pisses him off! He felt his tears wanting to fall so he quickly wiped them away with his sleeve, his stomach turning around from the stress.

[ Name ] [ Last Name ]

He hated her...

➸ 𐙚PREVIOUS ||𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒|| NEXT 𖹭

➸ Sorry it's short, but I'm often busy right now. I think that after June 18, I'll be able to write more often :D

➸ And in the next chapter they will be older.

➸ Umm I don't know why I can't tag two people- (I will try later again)

➸ Have a good night or day! 🫶

(⁠つ⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)⁠つ TAGLIST — @leafyaa , @luvkvni , @sayakaskokofish , @sketcheeee , @featuredtofu , @fallenisded , @skyvella , @mimiemie , @enjisthings , @xxrexx , @ylapsha45 , @shonoko-en , @blacky-rose , @0kauy , @vernith , @riinstar , @sl-vega ,

Red = I can't tag you

#⁀➴tsukimara #scaramouche x reader #wanderer x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #scaramouche x you #wanderer x you #genshin impact x you #scara x reader #scaramouche x deaf!reader #wanderer x deaf!reader #x reader #wanderer #scaramouche #genshin impact #⁀➴Genshin Impact #⁀➴A silent voice

[cthulhuwritesstuff]

Full Moon spoilers below.

Thoughts on that scene from the other point of view.

Stolas was protecting himself. He is heartbroken.

He doesn’t understand that he is asked to turn around and face Blitz, because yelling and insults don’t work for him (someone mentioned that this pattern of arguing on Blitz’s side is probably coming from his relationship with Verosika and how they used to communicate, and I agree with that 100%). Yelling and insults are very triggering for Stolas. I can bet that he heard and saw his wife in that moment, and he never expected that from Blitz. It broke him. Of course it did.

Another thing worth mentioning is Stolas’s drastic overthinking tactic that he deploys upon himself each time something close to heart comes his way. He is a traumatized, survival-mode 24/7 character, that hasn’t known romantic love his whole life. He is convinced his feelings aren’t reciprocated because that is what he can deal with and it is something he is familiar with. That is what he already had in spades.

His “I want you to stay with me, only if you want to” line was very hopeful and yes, very heartbreaking, but he doesn’t understand that the other person did not spend so much time in their head thinking about all the ways they’d be rejected. Blitz has never seen Stolas this way, and Stolas cannot see that, because in his head EVERYONE sees him that way: pathetic, love-sick, desperate, unworthy of love. Blitz’s reaction to that only proved him right (in his head) and he decided he was finished with the conversation, because that was the only way he could save some dignity.

Him arguing back with “This is answer enough, you needn’t say anything else” while walking away was his way of trying to put distance between him and Blitz so he can shield himself; but for Blitz, that was dismissive and rude and “rich fuck behavior”, and “here I go again, I am getting tossed to the side again like a thing played with. I won’t let you do that.”

So when Blitz lashes out and tries to communicate that — very poorly, mind you, no matter how much we get what he meant, he did it poorly — he does it with his whole chest, and he is ready for a fight, for more arguments, but for Stolas all that is just making things worse. His mind and heart are clouded with pain that he had already harbored for so long, that had forced him to twist his own ideas of himself and what he deserves, and he couldn’t handle that approach at all.

What hurts us as the audience is that we all know what is really happening, but they do not. What makes us frustrated is the fact that we know they care, even if Blitz himself is not ready to admit that to himself yet, and even when Stolas is creating this gap between them in order to do the right thing.

Stolas is honestly offended that Blitz “does not” accept his feelings, and acts as if they’re a joke, and that is perfectly understandable.

When he says “I want you to want to stay with me”, all he sees is Blitz trying to get their role play going (his piss poor way of saying “of course I want to stay, I am not going anywhere, let’s just do what we usually do and have fun, cause that’s what I am confortable with”). Stolas sees this as Blitz not being serious, and not taking him seriously. It breaks his heart.

When Blitz says “Can I have a minute to think”, all Stolas hears is “you pompous rich asshole”

When Blitz clearly communicates that everyone else always plays with his feelings, Stolas is absolutely destroyed because he is put int he same basket with everyone who had done him wrong.

This is a great learning curve for them both, a great way of portraying miscommunication and emotional damage it can do.

I am looking forward to the future development of this relationship.

#helluva boss #stolitz #stolas #blitzø #helluva boss spoilers #full moon spoilers #cthulhuwritesstuff #analysis

[cheri-2047]

Can I request aether x reader x kazuha (can be seperate) with a really insecure reader. Slightly chubby, anxiety ridden, slightly touched starved.

I need a hug and these two are my comfort characters.

Of course <3 I’d be happy to write this for you. Thanks for requesting ! (And mb if I wrote this bad or mischaracyerized them, I really tried 😔)

So so sorry this is late btw I had some stuff I had to fix :(

REQ ARE STILL OPEN!!

Aether and Kazuha x insecure reader

TAGS: none, all fluff

CHARACTERS: Aether, Kazuha (separate)

AETHER:

You and Aether were at a party with some close friends one night. As all of you were cheering, drinking and having fun in general, Aether noticed the way you lightly clutched your clothes.

You were lost in thought in your own head, only snapping back to reality a few times when your friends would laugh, or when someone spoke to you, but every time the group just kept talking, you couldn’t help but zone out and start overthinking once more about yourself.

“….”

“…?”

“Darling? Hello?”

You snapped back into reality, before seeing your boyfriend Aether holding your hand and trying to unclench it.

“Sorry- sorry I-“

“It’s alright, you okay?”

You nod, but you see the light look of worry in his eyes.

“If you say so….”

His thumb lightly brushed over the back of your hand, as a way to provide even a slight bit of comfort.

“Oops!”

You saw Aether spill a bit of his drink onto himself

“Damn it-“

He mumbled softly

“Sorry sorry, I need to get this cleaned up. Reader can you help me?”

He says before holding out a hand to you and trying not to get your outfit stained with his drink.

As you nod, he brings you to the washroom nearby, before quickly wiping his shirt and cupping your cheek after.

“What’s wrong love…? You haven’t been much like yourself tonight, do you want to go home?”

“Oh have I? Haha… didn’t notice. Just a bit tired is all.”

You didn’t notice it but your hands start to clench a bit when he cupped your cheek.

“Please don’t lie, what’s wrong?”

As you tell Aether about your worries and insecurities he nods and waits for you to finish before speaking

“May I hug you? Is that okay?” You nod before he wraps his arms around your waist and rubs your back comfortingly with one hand.

“You know I don’t care about how you look right? I love you for how you are…” he mumbles, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

You told him how you felt insecure about your weight and after that he pulls away from the hug before holding both your hands

“I think you’re perfect…” he says, keeping eye contact with you.

“Please look at me…” he says as he tries to show how much he cares for you.

He presses another kiss to your cheek. “I think you look perfect darling, it doesn’t matter if you think you look bad because to me you’re the most beautiful person here. Archons I bet people would even be jealous of me because I got such a beautiful person like you….” he chuckles, as he cups your cheeks.

“If youre uncomfy here right now, that’s okay. I can bring you home. The choice is yours darling.”

KAZUHA:

Kazuha noticed your mood a bit low today so he decided to surprise you.

“Do you want to go shopping?”

“No it’s alright” you smiled, and that’s when he knew something was actually wrong.

“I want to go, please?” He said as he got a bit more worried for you.

“Okay…”

Kazuha smiled when he was able to persuade you. quickly getting ready for the day and walking with you to a nearby mall.

“What do you want to buy? Maybe we can get more supplies or clothes or anything really.”

Kazuha would try to take note of your small actions to try and figure out what’s wrong.

From time to time you see him scanning over your movement, which caused you to be a slight bit uncomfy.

“Clothes maybe? I haven’t gotten anything new in awhile.”

He nods and takes you to your favorite clothing store. As you two walk through the aisles, you pick up clothes.

“Wait here, I’ll go change.”

Kazuha nods, sitting on a chair outside of the dressing room, as he patiently waits for you to show some outfits.

Every outfit he genuinely loved, and he expressed it clearly too.

“You look ravishing honey…”

He says with a soft smile.

After a few more fittings, he noticed how each one took longer for you to put on than the other. He thought it was just cause the outfit was hard to put on, but even simpler shirts took long.

The next outfit you chose you didn’t know what tk feel about it, in turn 2 minutes turned into 5, 5 to ten and that’s when Kazuha got worried.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah- just um.”

You tried to find an excuse, before you could he spoke once more

“Hey if you don’t like the outfit it’s alright, you don’t have to feel forced to-“

To his surprise, you came out with the fit.

You wanted him to not worry, so you just showed him instead.

“You look amazing…”

He smiled pressing a kiss to your forehead, noticing how you took many glances to the mirror.

“Do you not like this?”

He asked, as you shook your head.

“It’s okay, we don’t have to get it.” He smiled, feeling a bit more worried for you.

“Alright darling I..just have to ask… are you okay? Please be honest”

“….why do you ask?”

“You’ve been acting different all morning, and I don’t want you to suffer alone”

You frowned and told him how you felt like you looked bad in the clothing and how you felt insecure about your body, face and everything.

“I love you… I think you’re the most breathtaking person I know… I don’t love you for your body, I love you for you.”

He said, patting your head.

“I think youre perfect, and I’d never judge you for everything, you know that” he chuckled.

“If you don’t like any of these, we don’t have to get it. Anything that makes you happy and comfy love…” he said, kissing you on the forehead.

Im so sorry kazuha’s part was a bit cringe and cut short and it might be mischaracterized cause I don’t know much about him IM SO SORRY. I really tried 😞 anyways thank you for requesting!

This wasn’t proofread

Also btw a/n (if this doesn’t stand for authors note please tell me)

1) I hope hee okay :( I hope this fic helped at least

2) please a reminder that you’re perfect and if you don’t feel like it, even with flaws and all you’re still perfect. Everyone is beautiful even if people don’t see it, and if u need more docs like these to help, I’ll do it :)) thank you <3

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #fluff #headcanons #Kazuha #kazuha x reader #traveler #traveler x reader #aether #aether x reader

[ilovetheriddler]

Escape room affections.

(BTAS) The Riddler/Edward Nygma X F!Reader.

(The escape room is really badly designed, and the puzzles don't actually do anything. This obviously frustrates Edward greatly.)

Word Count: 691.

Contents: Edward being frustrated, kisses, and affection.

You couldn't help but chuckle slightly at the sight of your boyfriend Edward, slowly losing his mind as a result of the escape room that you thought would be a fun date idea to do.

You truly love and adore Edward and how intelligent he is... but at times, that is his biggest flaw. Like now, as he was overthinking this escape room. He was so frantically trying to piece together puzzles that, in his mind and opinion, should work.

A part of you honestly didn't even have the heart to tell him that those puzzles weren't actually important and that the escape room was just really poorly designed and didn't actually use puzzles, that those were just there for decoration.

"Damn it! Why isn't this working? It's clearly the only correct solution to this!"

"Edward, sweetheart, I think that -"

"Not now, my love! I'm trying to figure out why this isn't working, These puzzles are borderline, something a toddler could solve. So the fact that they aren't working, despite me having clearly solved them, is a huge insult to me!"

He continued trying to solve the, quite literally, useless puzzles. The frustration and growing anger apparent on his face. You feel a bit guilty. When you saw that a new escape room had been opened, you thought it would be fun for Edward, that it would be a cute date idea. But perhaps you should have looked more into it beforehand. You walk over to him and place your hand on his shoulder.

"Edward.... the puzzles aren't important...."

A genuine look of surprise and confusion immediately crosses his face. He's silent for a few moments, clearly processing exactly what you just said to him. Before it fully registers with him and that look of frustration returns.

"Well, that's just idiotic! What kind of archaic fools create an escape room that doesn't rely on puzzles?!"

"I don't know.... listen, um, I'm sorry about this... I wasn't aware of it beforehand... so I'm sorry if I've unintentionally ruined our date...."

He looked slightly taken aback by your sudden saddened tone.

"My love, I assure you that while I am frustrated over the foolish design of this escape room, I'm not upset at you. In fact, the fact that I got to spend time with you is the only saving grace from this evening!"

"Really...? I'm glad then... oh! Um... here, I found it in one of the plants a few minutes ago..."

You hand him a simple key, more specifically, the key to get out of here. You feel your face heat up slightly once he leans in and places a simple yet sweet kiss on your cheek.

"Thank you, my love. I appreciate you trying to set up a date that I'd enjoy. It's not your fault that it went.... somewhat awry."

He unlocks the door, and the two of you leave the wildly underwhelming escape room. Edward has a certain look in his eyes that catches your attention, like he's planning something in his head.

"You know, I could make an escape room leagues more impressive than... that disgrace back there! Oh... perhaps i could even use it as a new challenge for Batman! Yes, that'd be perfect!"

"Well, if anyone can design an insane escape room, then it'd probably be you..."

He gets a somewhat smug yet genuine grin on his face at your compliment. He drapes his arm over your shoulders as you walk, leaning into you some. He then presses a gentle and quick kiss to your lips suddenly. Ruffling your hair slightly once he pulls away.

"Oh course, it'll be great, my dear. I'll finally be able to put an end to that caped crusader after all this time! I'm sure it'll work this time... oh, and I'd love for you to test it out for me.... before I add anything lethal, I mean."

"I'd be overjoyed to test out your escape room trap whenever you finish it....."

Edward walks you back to your apartment, bidding you goodnight before he starts making his way back to his place. He has plans that he must attend to...

#dc comics #batman #the riddler #edward nygma #riddler #btas #the riddler x reader #edward nygma x reader #x reader #fanfic

[meraki-yao]

Translation of a Bilibili Video Analysing the Paris Love Making Scene

HOLY SHIT THIS LITERALLY TOOK ME ALL DAMN DAY

Preface from me: PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS NOT MY ORIGINAL CONTENT! THIS IS JUST MY TRANSLATION OF THE FOLLOW VIDEO MADE BY 搭火箭都要追剧 A CHINESE RWRB FAN. I REPEAT, THE CONTENT IS NOT MINE, I'M JUST A TRANSLATOR (that being said I did a little bit of commentary, anything in brackets is my own thoughts)

All photos are unedited screenshots taken directly from the video

Preface from OP: The content of this video is very subjective and shallow, if it's different from your opinions, you're the right one (a Chinese saying which basically means "this is just my thoughts don't come at me") and it's most likely to be very different from any official BTS.

Didn't translate the first part because 1, I can't really translate it well due to cultural references 2, I... don't really agree with it, but did like 90% of the video

Also since it's about the Paris love-making scene, there's sexual content, you have been warned

For the moment when Alex slips his hand under Henry's shirt

When Alex slides his hand across Henry's naked waist, his fingertips, the most sensitive part of the hand is touching Henry's bare skin and stirring his desires, which is why Alex's body tenses: he clenches his jaw and takes a deep breath in.

In contrast, Henry is absorbed in the romance of it all. He's been in love with Alex the whole time and finally, the man of his dreams is here with him, touching him.

For the couple of shots where they stand naked with Henry touching Alex

1, Close Up Shot of Henry's hand gliding up Alex's arm

Henry told Alex that he's in good hands, therefore Henry's the one to lead this dance and set the atmosphere, so most of the light is on him, with the bright spot being shone on Henry's wrist which leads the audience to focus on that point

He starts with his fingertips running along Alex's vein, but the brightest spot doesn't follow the movement of his hand and stays focused on his wrist and the lower part of his thumb while the rest of his hand is in darker lighting. This is to strike a contrast and to put the focus on Henry's hand and therefore his movement. The reason only part of his hand is illuminated is because his entire hand is lit, the frame's lighting loses its balance and looks abnormal, and won't match the more subtle, softer tones of the romance in the movie

A highly saturated orange/golden light is chosen, which increases the feeling of content and ambiguity (I don't that sounds weird but it's the closest word I can think of, but a more accurate description… Imagine the use of steam in a shower sex scene) which also hints that this is going to be a lovely night

The use of light and the contrast of brightness on different parts also serve to convey Henry's emotions and internal thoughts. Even though their first night in Alex's room and their hook-up during the polo match were both really intense, but it was more about the surging, frantic sexual desire between the two. Now Henry doesn't actually know how Alex will react and is somewhat worried about it, which is represented by his fingers in darker lighting. But at the same time, Paris is the first time Henry can be so physically close with his long-time crush and be extremely honest/vulnerable with him, and later understand and feel each other on a spiritual level (… Woah.). He feels contentment from that, which is what the brighter area conveys.

In this single shot, the bright and dark areas are fairly equal, which also means these two emotions are in equal conflict at this moment

Then Henry's hand slides up towards Alex's shoulder and he switches to touching him with his fingertips, which, with its sensitivity, means Henry can feel any tiny change on Alex's skin. He feels Alex's excitement and comfort, which in turn makes him happy and bolder, which is also conveyed in the change of the light in the frame: the fingertips that were previously in dark lighting gradually shift into the brighter area, representing his worries fading

2, The following shot of Henry facing Alex's camera right, Alex's back against the audience, camera left

The light is still on Henry which means this shot is still conveying Henry's feelings

There's a clear contrast of light on his face which makes his face seem more 3D (again sorry for the weird translation but I can't find any other words) and attracts the audience's attention more.

The contrast is also represented in Henry's characterization. To explain this, we need to understand what a cognitive schema is: cognitive schema is a psychological concept which can be summarized as when a person is exposed to an object, event or person, they will use precious experience and knowledge to make a general judgment and description of them thus predicting their next actions. So in the case of Henry, at first since he's a prince, the audience and Alex, using their cognitive schema will assume he's prim and proper, when in reality he's horny (ha), flirtatious and adorable (so in conclusion, he's actually a babygirl)

Henry then lingers his hand on Alex, and glances at Alex with a flirtatious smile, enjoying Alex's shiver under his touch.

3, Shot of Alex facing audience camera left, Henry back against audience camera right

The light is now mostly on Henry's back, increasing the romantic atmosphere of the shot.

The light is also on Alex's torso and cheek forming a light contrast, which turns the audience's focus onto Alex. The larger dark area indicates he's being led by Henry in this situation, and he doesn't really know what Henry's gonna do, therefore his nervousness is the dominating emotion, represented by the dark area.

But he's also enjoying Henry's touches, which is why the light is still mostly on Henry but also partly on Alex now, almost like an extension of the contentment that Henry feels

The lamp that in-universe is providing the lighting is on the right side of the frame. If a similar light source isn't placed on the left side, the left side of the frame would seem too cold, which would destroy the atmosphere previously created. Therefore a mirror was placed there both for spatial balance and to create a reflection of the lamp's light, creating a small light spot on the left, balancing the coloring and lighting of the shot.

To the right of the mirror where the light can't cover is a small cupid statue. The statue not only adds to the romantic atmosphere but also indicates what's about to happen, as cupid symbolizes love and sex. Cupid is also a mischievous God who enjoys pranks, which also somewhat describe the boys' relationship: cupid shoots out the silver/lead arrow of aversion and revulsion that leads to their misunderstanding and subsequent hatred, but the shoots out the golden arrow of fall that led to them falling in love with each other and living together happily ever after.

Alex keeps watching Henry's hand as his hand slides down and looks back up when Henry touches his chest and takes a deep breath. Henry smiles brightly at Alex's reaction.

Alex then becomes intoxicated by Henry's touch as his sexual desires take over him

When Henry picks up the key that means a lot to Alex, Alex clenches his jaw. The highlight in his eyes allows the audience to immediately catch the change in his eyes that's filled up with lust.

So to conclude this part, a lot of attention was given to the placement of props and the lighting: the saturated golden creates a romantic but steamy/foggy (meraki seriously can't find the right word) setting, which is a filmmaking technique often used by Wong Kar Wai, in fact a similar lighting was used in "In the Mood for Love" (Matthew is a true fan)

For the shots of them kissing on the bed

There's a red mark on Henry's chest which OP explained in an earlier video that would have been caused by Alex grabbing there when thrusting forward

There's another possibility which is Alex getting excited when being behind Henry but he doesn't really know what to do so all he can do is grind against Henry. But Henry feels and sounds divine, and Alex gets impatient so he leaves marks on Henry's arm and chest

To prove her hypothesis op did an experiment with her own arm: she chose her arm because just like the part of Henry's chest that's marked, part of the muscle curves (into the elbow just as the chest muscle curves into the armpit) it's not a easy place for fingers to exert force, thus can draw a closer, more subjective comparison.

Experiment process: open uses her other hand to grab onto her arm and pull backwards forcefully, to 1, observe the shape of the mark and if it's identical to that of Henry's, 2, observe the time needed to create the mark in order to be the same as Henry's

As shown in the photo, the (faint) red marks are approximately the same shape, width and redness as the ones on Henry's chest. It took 28 seconds to reach this. This approximates the time taken by Alex to "do stuff" (I think she means prep?) from Henry's behind

With how loving and gentle Alex is with Henry it's not that likely that he started groping Henry's chest from the beginning, so the conclusion is when Alex was trying to "move forward" when he was behind Henry (I seriously don't know if she means prep or like, doggy style) but doesn't really know what to do and groped Henry in his nervousness, and this failed attempt lasted at least 28 seconds.

OP thinks the failed attempt was done in front of the window with Henry bending over, gripping the back of one of the chairs, and deduced from the DNC scene: the boys were originally chatting in bath robes on the couch with the curtain mostly closed, but when Zahra barged in, the blackout curtain was out, leaving just the mesh layer closed. There was a bathrobe on the far side of the couch and another in front of the window. So presumably after the talk, they went for another round, Henry ditched his robe on one side of the couch and pounced on Alex (similarly to how he did on Alex's couch), they tumbled around and switched position and ended up in front of the window, Alex remembered he failed attempt in Paris and wanted to make up for it so he pulled open the blackout curtain but left the mesh layer closed, and then he got to work. (...tbn personally I think this is a stretch?)

Henry thinks Alex is adorable but he's also really intoxicated and wants to get down to business asap, so he grabs Alex's neck and presses Alex towards him, kissing from Alex's lips to his neck. He kissed Alex's neck because from their first hook-up and the way Alex immediately stretched his neck to give Henry space when he kissed his neck then, that this is the quickest way to stimulate him. Which is why you can see a faint hickey on Alex's neck

As they kiss they walk towards the bed. During their first hook-up, Henry pushed Alex onto the couch, so now it's Alex's turn to pounce on Henry, which is what we see in the shot: Henry falls onto the bed first, then Alex follows. Alex is really happy and a bit proud that he can drive Henry crazy like this, while (and I quote directly) Henry can't think of anything anymore, and has "please hurry up and fuck me" painted on his face

The mark/hickey on Alex's neck takes the shape of an inverted triangle, with the vertical side and the diagonal side (left down right up, in math it's a positive slope) being more red, which means those two points experienced the largest amount of force

Red Mark on Henry's Chest

Screenshot from In the Mood for Love using a similar lighting

Red Mark Result from OP's experiment

Blackout Curtain Closed on DNC Night

Bathrobe (presumed to be Henry's) on the far side of the couch

Bathrobe (presumed to be Alex's) near the window, Blackout Curtain Open in the background

For the process, deduced with the shot of them laying in bed during the afterglow

The trajectory of sweat on Henry's temple runs downward vertically. If he was fucked lying down, the sweat should run into his ear canal horizontally. Which means he was fucked in a sitting position. For example in the polo match hookup, Henry's sweat is visible in the form of drops running vertically down his face. Also in the afterglow, the sweat also seems to be splattered, which required Henry to have vigorously moved either up and down or front and back. So yeah this further proves that there was a cut riding scene.

Alex also has sweat on his face, and his fringe is wet. So riding should have happened right before they lied down and started talking.

So the process deduced by OP is 1, they tried doggy style in front of the window and failed 2, what was shown in the movie 3, doggy style on the bed 4, riding (OP wasn't aware of the details of the extended Paris love-making scene, but all RWRB fans in China know that there's doggy style and riding that got cut, this is OP's deduction of the order)

Even without looking at the sweats and marks, from the way Henry's signet ring is turned in the movie you can tell that something's deleted, since before Alex intertwined his fingers with Henry, the letter H was facing outwards, and when their hands join the movement causes the ring to turn and for the letter to face inwards. But then the next shot with Henry's hand on Alex's shoulder shows the ring worn normally again, which means something in between was deleted or reordered.

Hickey on Alex's Neck

Henry's sweat in the afterglow

Henry's sweat during the polo hook-up

Alex's sweat in the afterglow

tagging @sanneannelies7 and @na-18dia who mentioned wanting the translation in my original post

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #rwrb movie #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #henry hanover stuart fox #firstprince #taylor zakhar perez #nicholas galitzine #rwrb thoughts #rwrb analysis #rwrb meta #I'M EXHAUSTED I LITERALLY SPENT THE WHOLE DAY DOING THIS #which is fine because i spent the day waiting for my dad in the hospital with nothing but my phone and ear buds (he's fine it's a check up) #but still this took a lot outta me #i do think some of this is overthinking but it's fun #also begs the question #the marks are there that's undeniable but for Taylor and Nick how did they get them there #anyways #translating is fun and I do like doing it #this was just really fucking long #the video's 25 minutes #please appreciate my dedication to RWRB this is the hardest post i've ever made #meraki translates

[quinn-pop]

let’s do some autistic meta knight headcanons!! over explaining my interpretation of meta knight yet again wooooo

this orb has NO idea how to talk to people!!! outside of work anyway. a lot of this is partially due to upbringing (suppressing his emotions all the time) but he does not know how to express emotions, like…at all.

this goes into a few things

1. yeah talking is hard. even after figuring out what he wants to communicate he will struggle. conversation can be so overwhelming, especially under pressure. he will need time lol

2. because of that, forming connections is hard. i really don’t think meta is much for shallow relationships, and certainly not early in the timeline. which also means he has very little experience with friendship. so a lot of the relationships he did have went kinda neglected, and issues that probably could’ve been worked on by talking became…*cough romk* escalated.

3. honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if meta convinced himself he couldn’t feel emotion (anymore) until like. katam-ish. he tried very hard lol

vulnerability is terrifying. (though this gesture here is also just comforting, like his little cape cocoon thing he does.)

unmasking—yeah im taking the mask thing very literally here—is a big deal and a very slow process for mk. i’m sure he has a lot of feelings on that lol. it served as a way to ensure no one could ever, y’know, see him.

i can’t say i think he’d ever fully ditch it—there’s always gonna be some days that are more stressful than others and if having it could help him get through it, it just makes sense. mainly when working.

it really is about vulnerability. granted, i don’t think he has the most expressive face (in my head every astral just tends to stare at things) but i doubt he has much control over it. can’t fake a smile but also can’t hide it. probably blushes easy because yeah, astrals; just look at kirby’s face.

just the idea that someone might be able to read his expression and know what he’s feeling before he’s ready for them to (or even understands it himself…) yeah he doesn’t want that

but emotional turmoil aside, i think his mask also hides a lot of his stims

remember that whole “suppressing your feelings” thing? yeah turns out that ignoring half your instincts isn’t a good idea. so in true meta knight style, he tries to stim as subtly as possible

1. he has the least control over his wings, so they will flick and twitch on their own. they’re usually a good indicator of how he’s feeling, not unlike the body language usually seen in cat ears and tails lol. flapping is also an extension of this of course, though he probably suppresses it more.

2. this also effects when he takes his wings out. pretty much every time he’s excited or nervous it just happens. kinda makes me wonder if his wing cape ordeal might also go into the suppression thing… (i’d say yes, but using a cape is also very comforting so it’s not necessarily a bad thing)

3. going back to the mask thing; he stims a lot underneath it. think like biting or pursing your lips. he bites his tongue and clicks his mouth. that sort of thing. his mask also makes it harder to notice that he is constantly sighing, humming, grumbling…all that

one nice thing about the mask though is that it helps a little bit with lights!!! woo

(look at him and his magically floating glasses)

sensory stuff—i think he’s mostly bothered by light and sound. maybe a bit of texture. he’s pretty sensory avoidant and perfectly happy standing off to the side not touching anything.

the one exception to this is physical affection, which is, despite all of this, most of how he shows affection. it’s a lot easier to hug someone than to try to explain your feelings for them, after all.

i think he would like pressure though. so that’s probably part of it. and i’m pretty sure there’s some connection in here to fighting (dang, is that the only way he knows how to get his energy out?)

anyway, pretty much all of this is in contrast to kirby, who i would gladly nominate as the champion of Doing Whatever He Wants. he might pick up a few bad habits, but he will never mask the way meta knight does. he might not understand how he feels, but he’s in tune enough to express it…usually.

this is a very good thing for meta because it helps him to do the same thing. kirby’s so energetic, it’s hard to not want to stim with him. it reminds meta to be kinder to himself and explore his own emotions. he can also help kirby understand themselves, so this connection is very important.

yeah, at the end of the day, everything kinda just boils down to kirby and mk as parallels

this is the conclusion i promise

to me, meta’s arc is about growing stronger by growing kinder, and this is mostly by learning to be kind to himself. letting himself be a person again, loving and understanding other people, and eventually, letting go of all the expectations placed on him and doing the things he’s always wanted to do…

autism headcanons are fun for me because it’s cathartic to write, but at the same time, it just makes sense in this sort of narrative. meta is, to me, inseparable from these things. and so is kirby! that’s a dynamic that’s a lot of fun to play with, and it’s at the heart of my kirby interpretation.

if you actually read all this WOW thank you

#i almost considered not posting this on a wednesday but then i wrote everything and uhhh yeah i think i gotta so #happy cringe day wednesday #for as many notes as i have on these characters i really don’t talk about it much #but meta knight is a special case because i am terrible at subtlety and he wouldn’t be meta knight without it #so this is to contextualize some things #because of what ill have in the next few days haha #basically these are just things i consider when writing meta #but a lot of it is subtextual and i dont know how well it comes across #kirbyposting #kirby #meta knight #headcanons #autism headcanon #this is practically an essay lol oops #i have like 2/3 of a fic that explores most of this in a way i probably won’t do again #but we’ll see if i ever finish it #god kirby concepts are so fun to chew on #i overthink everything i make so much lol

[seventh-district]

not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go

(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)

#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill #well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst #like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc. #so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made #bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you #but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings #and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste #there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc #so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously) #but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything #if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is #which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose #anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate. #and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic! #if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it. #like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages #or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing #i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know #it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess #as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence #the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education #i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is- #writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl- #will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype #sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen #there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions #like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of- #'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity #like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem #but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.

[lynxfrost13]

Man for some reason the “not living up to my potential” in terms of my art is really hitting today which is stupid.

Hey brain you know that art is a forever journey and that it’s okay to grow and learn and not be perfect right???

#it’s stupid that I feel bad!!! I know it’s stupid. and I am terribly sorry to vent abt it #it’s not that I think my art is bad I’m sorry if my other post gave that impression!!! I thought it was good. #the thing that bothers me is that I could’ve done better if that makes sense. but I chose to rush instead #I also tend to have high expectations for my work however I have very reasonable knowledge of what I’m capable of and the thing is #I really enjoyed making those traditional pieces!!! I did!! I had fun #and I played with a lot of new things and stretched that brain!!! however I tend to feel bad if I’m not immediately great at something new #which again is stupid bc I KNOW that it’s a process #and like I said I did have fun!! and will do more!!! but for some reason the little goblin in my mind is resting it’s hideous head #which hasn’t happened in a while #but that’s good bc it means I’m being challenged which is what I want and need #anyway sorry for the long complicated explanation I promise I’m not like. super upset #just overthinking bc I do that #Lynx talks

[saetoru]

i’ve said this before but people who say “thank you for sharing this” in reblogs have a special place in my heart truly

#it’s like #i don’t think anyone owes me thanks for writing something #i do it for my own fun genuinely i do #and sharing it is part of the fun yes #but yeah no one needs to thank me when i do my hobby #but i think just. there’s something touching about someone enjoying something you made #sometimes spent weeks or months working on #overthinking and reworking and whatnot #and they like it so much they say #wow tysm for letting me witness this #and it’s just #it’s not that deep #jdsnjdskkdj #but it’s deep to me #it makes me feel good #i love ppl who do that and more than anything it makes me look at my writing and be kinder to it #bc if someone enjoyed it enough to say that it can’t be that bad #ok ramble over i’m gonna do beat some hilichurls

[heartshattering]

5 AM

Just me and my overactive mind facing the nighttime again 🙃

#hopefully the meds work but while waiting for them to kick in I get so damn nervous #and sometimes I do get nights where even on my full dose my anxiety is too overpowering and I just. Do Not Sleep #I mean I do eventually but not without spiraling first :') #way before I was prescribed sleep meds my longest was 3 nights without sleep while on a VERY stressful trip #I felt like I was gonna die and I did not sleep until I got off the plane and was back at home #(this was like 15 years ago already but it still haunts me fhfgsgdh) #my best friend and I were having a conversation today #and she was like 'not sleeping can make you hallucinate right?' #and I was like :') I get the hallucinations in other scenarios too #BUT I also get what she meant #not sleeping is really bad for me mentally which is why I can't do 'sleep restriction therapy' #and fun fact #a lot of my OCD obsessions revolve around sleep!!! #which is 'awesome' because laying in bed with insomnia makes my OCD flare up so like #the two get to feed off each other and make my life a living hell!!! #and don't even get me started on my sleep paralysis episodes #(which I like to think of as just my brain misfiring but that my aunt tells me is saints or demons trying to talk to me) #'cause she hallucinates too but hers are like 'spiritual' or whatever #same with my mom's hallucinations as well #and to add fuel to the dumpster fire of my mind and body is the fact I've been overcaffeinating again #which I've known not to do ever since I was in middle school and saw the pediatric cardiologist who specifically said 'hey don't do that' #fast-forward to adulthood and I still haven't learned how to handle anything #like. I have heart meds and sleep meds and migraine meds and IBS meds #and yes meds are good but like. I know you need to incorporate lifestyle changes as well #which I do for like 2 weeks until the next time I fuck up #I've been so irresponsible lately but like. ESPECIALLY today #didn't eat #took some meds on an empty stomach and forgot to take my other ones at all #had too much caffeine #stressed out over some stupid situations thanks to overthinking

[ethereal-maia]

GUYS FIGURING OUT I AM ASPEC IS LITERALLY LIKE THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO ME EVER BTW

like oh my god I don’t have to look for attraction anymore!! it’s so freeing!! I can just watch a show or be around and *acknowledge* that someone is aesthetically pleasing without being attracted to them! It’s amazing! and also I can stop caring about having crushes cause I DONT!!

#ps kissing is so gross I could literally never due to me overthinking it #like ewww the germs and your mouths are right together and isn’t it awkward to acknowledge all the germs mentally? #I swear some of y’all are allo how do you get over this if you’ve ever kissed anyone? #so cool so rad of me to have never kissed anyone on the mouth #and I don’t think intend to ever!! #yayyy being aspec is so fun (sometimes. other times it is horrible and you wish you were normal but that is just how it be) #maia.txt #aspec

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

peace and love on planet earth save me.... peace and love on planet earth.... save me peace and love on planet earth....

#had a terrible night last night and am having an awful morning so far bc. I agree with everyone but disagree with #the level of some of the reactions #if that makes sense #I'm being intentionally vague but. I did talk this through with someone last night #I just think the magnitude of some responses may simply be... overreacting? at least in my perspective #and the perspectives of several people who I'm fairly close to #it's simply... I really struggle with having solid opinions about stuff bc I'm not confident in my knowledge #my political views are essentially ''I wish everyone would be nice and get along'' #which ik is not possible in this world. however. I #I don't think that giving up a whole Interest and something you love just bc of something someone associated with it believes #is necessarily always called for?? and in this case I don't think that it is??? #maybe 2 people will get what I'm saying here and I don't want to get into arguments. I think killing and destruction should STOP #end of story. idc who is doing it or why. I think it should just stop. but I also don't think dropping [REDACTED] for associating #with someone whose support falls the other way (saying this as kindly as I can btw :/ ) is necessarily a response that needs to be had #does that make sense?? at all??? #I just wanna have fun next weekend 😭 #anyway. Christian girlies and anyone who prays please pray for me to stop overthinking and overfeeling this

[im-still-watching-anime]

haha as a fic writer i’m obviously very familiar with my own works it’s not like i have to go and look them up to remember the titles of my own fics *sweats*

#oof #just had a moment #i dont know any of my fics actual titles #titles are the last thing i do #but then if anyone ever talks to me about them they USE that title #and i just #do Not know them #my bsd fics are especially bad #i can probably recite half the fic for you without looking but god please don’t ask me the title #i dont know it #on one hand that was embarrassing #but on the other hand it gave me a chance to reread some of my fics and!! #i like them!! #i usually try not to think too hard once i publish them #cause i get overthinking and in my own head #but taking a chance to actually fully reread them after time has passed was fun!! #i felt bad for ignoring how much i love them #real ‘i abandoned my boy’ moment from me tonight #like!! those are mine!! i made them!! i love them so much!! #anyway leaving hating my own stuff in 2023 i love them all again the good and the bad😤 #having revelations at 4 am ig #i love all my written children even though i do suck at remembering their names sometimes rip😅 #i have to study whenever people want to talk to me about my fics lol

[elftwink]

saw a video about 2 player ttrpgs and one of them was like "this one's about a pretend marriage" and i was like oh? and i looked it up on itch (eyes on the prize, fyi) and it's 50% as of right now and i was like OH? and i bought it immediately & ive read most of it and i am a big fan. and i KNOW that i have friends who would have fun playing it (it's a 2 player or 4 player game; the 4 player variant has 2 fake couples) but asking them is going to be so cringe. yeah we're gonna make up people and pretend to be them and then pretend to pretend to get married and the characters when they start their pretending they're gonna be like "oh we don't have any romantic feelings towards each other this is strictly plot" but then (get this) they will start to develop real feelings for each other. and we're gonna act it out together and pretend to be them but don't worry! we have no romantic feelings towards one another. this is strictly plot. when WE (irl) pretend to be in love it's actually platonic, unlike the people who we are pretending to be to each other. so do you have like 2-5 hours you wanna dedicate to that next week

and the worst part is that's 100% what i want. like i have roleplayed romance before with friends it is literally not a big deal because the whole point of roleplay is that the character ISN'T you. but with a fake relationship the crushing weight of dramatic irony hovers behind me

#i do want to play it though it seems fun. i actually think it would be more fun to do the 4 player variant #just bc like. to me fake dating is all about the audience. the way you act alone vs in public #it's about the drama. the show. having other people to bounce of off in rp i think benefits that #eh. im overthinking it i'll get over myself & bring it up. i at least wanna talk about it to people even if we don't intend to play it #i also kinda think you could use the game as more of a writing prompt than a roleplaying game if you wanted? #like. ideally you're still have 2 or 4 people who have a character they mainly control #and you'd like. co-write a story by hashing out responses to each card (which is the main game mechanic) & writing it down #but you would lose some of the imo more like... silly (affectionate) parts of the game? #because some of it is really about the improvisational aspect of both ttrpgs and the fake dating trope #but i still think it would be really fun. and i have done a lot of text-based roleplay before #so i am biased towards it just in general. #i also think you could probs play with 3 players with slight bending of the rules and in and out of game acceptance of polya relationships #esp because the setting is like. vaguely period piece fantasy nobility. you go to fancy parties and shit #i feel like those people had very complicated love lives i think a throuple would be fine #also We Are Playing Pretend #good idea generator #unrelated but did wtf when did they update the post editor the tags are so ugly LOL

[whatsagirltoblogabout]

I'm at the conspiracy theory stage of my White Collar hyperfixation.

In the Season 3 premiere (3.01 On Guard), Neal's tie is sliced during a fencing match and he's forced to put on a new one at the WC office. He puts the new tie around his neck, but then takes a file out of the rack on his desk and moves it to a different part of the rack before starting to tie his tie. Does he have a mirror or something hidden in his file rack??? Was this established or hinted at somewhere else, either in the series or in behind the scenes content? And if there isn't a mirror, then WHY DID HE DO THAT???

#today's episode of 'losing my mind about white collar' is brought to you by me trying to figure out the timeline for the warehouse explosion #I still haven't figured it out to my satisfaction #but as far as I can piece together the warehouse explodes during the day then there's a gap in time until nightfall #Neal arrives home at night/evening to find the key and go to the warehouse with the treasure #and then ends up with Peter and Jones for the lie detector test? which took place for 5 hours overnight in some other warehouse? #and then immediately afterwards he goes to meet Sara at a bookstore without changing his clothes? #and then finally goes back to his loft and talks to Mozzie #still in the same clothes #i think??? #what happened in that afternoon gap after the explosion? #was it just cleanup and stuff? #what was Neal doing? #he says 'prove it' and then walks off all angry so I feel like he wouldn't have gone back to the office? but he didn't go home either? #or did he go home but Mozzie hadn't left the key yet but he didn't change his clothes and went back out again at some point? #like that seems overly convoluted #ha! overly convoluted. says the person thinking too hard about something that was probably just hand waved for plot reasons #eh whatever. I like overthinking. I'm having fun and that's what matters #also why did Peter and Jones do their interrogation so clandestinely #like I know Peter wanted it off the bureau's radar #haha radar - because 2.16 was called under the radar #anyways #why not at Neal's loft? why the warehouse? #like I acknowledge that the scene took place where and when it did for the *ambience* #however in-universe it puzzles me #but I'm also super oblivious and certainly not the sharpest tool in the shed so I might just be overlooking a really obvious solution #welp #white collar #episode 2.16 #episode 3.01