#i dont want to deal with this !!! i dont want to be here !!! how many more cavities do i have rn !!!!

[egberts]

this is gonna make no sense but i hope someone can at least sympathize with my view here. i flat out dont interact with art on this site (or twitter) unless its made by a friend/mutual because ppl have so many rules about who is allowed to interact with them and how theyre allowed to interact with them that i know im gonna do smth wrong and upset someone so i just dont interact. it isnt worth it. the original poster can see your tags now so leaving tags is the scariest thing in the world to me now even on normal text posts because i know im going to say the wrong thing and get blocked or have my tags screenshotted

i can tell you're working with a lot of fear of being perceived, and it's okay to be an anonymous lurker online but if you're finding yourself feeling like you GENUINELY want to interact with somebody else's art/post/writing or whatever but fear of their reaction is the only thing stopping you then unironically my best advice for you is: DO IT SCARED. chances are, it'll go better than you're worried about and if it doesn't then the block button is right there for the both of you. if they block you don't take it personally, just move on. trust me on this one, a lot of random people have me blocked and it is never worth dwelling on for more than a "hey what the fuck." moment. I promise the opinions of random anonymous strangers mean less in your real life than you're worried about. genuinely look up from your screen right now, at your surroundings, and tell me, looking at the tangible things in your life that are there with you wherever you are, is it going to be THAT big of a deal if you accidentally piss off an internet stranger? absolutely not.

[sonknuxadow]

they werent lying that knuckles series barely has knuckles in it

#i pirated that shit Btw just so we're clear. also gonna talk about it a little bit in the tags #nothing too spoilery but also might not wanna read if you want to go in knowing absolutely nothing? idk #anyway he WAS a main character still he was present for a decent amount of the first couple episodes #but the amount of screentime he gets just starts dropping after that . hes barely there at all in the second half ??? #and it feels like theres a lot of scenes mostly focusing on wade and his problems and not near as many for knuckles and his whole deal #overall it feels more like a wade show with knuckles in it than a knuckles show with wade in it. which sucks #and human characters having plot relevance isnt the problem here i dont mind human characters at all i think they can be really fun #its the fact that the human characters are taking over the story and spotlight when the show is called knuckles #and all the marketing makes it look like knuckles is the main focus #and i also would have preferred if they just went with a differnet character to be knuckles' human friend #because i dont particulraly care about wade. and the knuckles (and sonic and tails) i know would not be friends with cops </3 #well at least the story wasnt knuckles training wade to be a better cop like a lot of people were expecting but thats like.the bare minimum #also aside from the issues relating to knuckles' screentime (or lack of screentime) i thought the ending was unsatisfying #regardless of all that though there WERE some parts i enjoyed or found kind of funny or whatever. because knuckles so cutesy as always #knuckles being a cute little guy is the most important part of the show actually #and i liked the parts with sonic tails and maddie even if they were only there for like 5 minutes #(i really wish those three had gotten more screentime. i feel like they could have easily worked in at least one more scene with them) #and its a minor thing but the opening sequence is cute. was honestly expecting just a title card or something #overall the show is just . kind of okay i guess. not the worst thing ive ever seen but still disappointing ? idk how to explain.. #my expectations also werent very high in the first place #so maybe im being a bit more generous than i would have been otherwise. idk #and i definitely would not recommend this to anyone who already dislikes the sonic movies . youll probably hate this more #like people who thought the human characters got too much screentime in the second movie would lose their minds if they saw this

[snekdood]

i need more friends that i can give the responsibility of perennial native plants and perhaps shrubs and trees to

#p sure my apartment complex would only be down with just me using like flowers n stuff...... but i got trees n shrubs here toooooooo..... #that produce fruit...... .. . . .... . . #probably why they dont want it #but goddamn thats just gonna make the squirrels worse if we deprive them of anything @-@;; #how to explain biodiversity and the cycle of life to normies who think grass is the only plant that exists @ google? or anyone?? #'theres too many squirrels' #'and that doesnt have to be a problem if we just let bushes and tall plants and more trees grow in places where theres vast expanses of #just grass' #'bc then natural predators of squirrels will be more likely to live here and naturally deal w the squirrel population till its healthy' #how do i emphasize how bad grass is to someone who probably doesnt even care that much about the env to begin with #GOOGLE HOW DO I GET PEOPLE TO CARE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT AND QUESTION THEIR ACTIONS #BUT NOT SO MUCH THAT IT MAKES THEM GET LOST IN THEIR GUILT AND SOMEHOW TRY TO TURN IT ON ME INSTEAD #IG FOR MAKING THEM AWARE OF THE HARM THEYRE CAUSING #and then they just shut down and try not to think about it until they keep ignoring it and nothing changes and hhhhhhhhhhh #oh and how do i do this to my landlord without the risk of being hated by him and thus treated Differently #my problem is i have no filter and i say whats on my mind so idk if i can be nice about it BC THIS SHIT IS P URGENT TO ME

[floorpancakes]

this is so funny bitch he's paying you a compliment!!! hes openly being like wow ur so good at this stop shouting and sit the fuck down 😭😭😭😭

#this happens a surprisingly large amount of times from the beginning #like you know he likes him but you dont always catch QUITE how many times hes just #straight up being like heres a compliment 🫶 #and watanuki is too busy crying in the foreground or convincing himself of his own fake beef to notice #i dont think he wants to notice it makes things complicated and also he is stoopid #its hilarious when matched with watanukis desperate need for attention though like #he very easily preens at compliments like an attention hungry lap cat #so as soon as he actually can equip himself to DEAL with the whole *gestures at the demons* then....

[fridayiminlcve]

if i dont move to nyc or london or paris by age 27 what is the point of anything

#i looooove my city so much you guys like if i wasnt who i am (queer) rn i would be so fucking glad that i am in my current city but #i loooove art and history and fashion and stuff and this citymight be about second best for all that but its still soo crowded #people WILL judge no matter what you wear something cutesy and people dont shut up especially when ur 16 and tagging along with your mom to #the mall or something and everyone just stares and even among your classmates ive been complimented so many times #for my unique style or whatever (aka i have beaded shoelaces and wear lots of jewelery and absurd ass eyeliner) and theyre like oh #n******** is so fancy itni stylish bandi hai woh and its so attention grabbing but i dont want it to be a big deal !!! #i want to like 20 badges and wear insane makeup and dye my hair without calling much attention to myself!!! #of course i know that will change slowly as you go in to uni and meet ppl of your type instead of a bazaar market and youll pick ur own #friends who r like minded but considering this is india how many people can you truly find. #also my next two years are going to be spent in a college for jee and neet kids #you can wear what you want theres no dress code but you have to appear serious studious and simple if you want to be taken seriously #elle woods at harvard law type #i asked my mom to get an industrial & second lobe piercing and actual dyed hair and shes like turn twenty get into a good college then do #not bc she minds she allowed me to get my hair dyed at age 13 but to go in th college im going to there is SO SO much rigour #and if you dont show yourself as professional and shit they will keep you in lower effort self study classes instead of best of the best #i KNOW how difficult moving abroad is bc my family does not have that money i need to do it myself its so so expensive bc the money #itself has such a high value compared to here (you see americans cribbing abt 30$ hourly wage but here that is 2500inr) #2500 inr is as much as an expensive pair of jeans here. expensive clothes here r 30$ and in usa its 300$ . see the diffence #im changing topics so much but sometimes i do feel this place is suffocating #its a priviledge i have that i can even think about going abroad comapred to other indians but still #dp you get what i mean #and ik movies and all are very romanticised so it might not even be this way in western cities and just an idealisation but still #if things change around here then the entire question of going anywhere is out the window anyway #smalltown boy will byers moment #dni if you read all this and plan on replying unless ur a close mutual (close mutuals u know who u are) #also if someone says why would you want to go to usa uk paris when they colonised your country shut up <3 shut up very much <3

[woolydemon]

i am soooo good at getting emotional over children's media but not in a fandom way in like a. oh god i care about people so much way

#its shel silverstein this time kldfjhd #watched a good vid essay abt his work and going through the comments of the vid and oughh theyre getting me to tears actually #ive gotten this emotional abt dragon tales and fraggle rock before lol #idk man maybe im super sappy but i find myself so very touched by media made for kids that is made with a genuine care #whether its a desire to teach people how to deal with emotions. to “end wars” in fraggle rock's case iirc #or just having such a respect for kids to want them to have these profound messages that stick with them into adulthood #ogh. ogggh. maybe this is why im an education major lol #rando thoughtz #edit additions bc im thinking abt it now after i already hit post #silverstein's poem Whatif like. particularly hit me hard rn when i heard it now #bc im like. well not to divulge into in a public setting but ive been really struggling with anxiety lately #its been p fucking bad #and that poem was like. ah thats literally how its been for me so many times ive been left alone with my thoughts in my bed #and it was like that a lot as a kid too ngl. so it makes me a little sad that i dont think i ever read that one as a kid #or if i did i didnt remember it. but its here for me now and its. comforting to have what ive been going through be in text for kids

[bunnihearted]

.

#ngl i am feeling veeeeery depressed rn #idk what to do.. i dont get *any* help at all w my mental health nd it just keeps getting worse #rn i feel like there is absolutely no hope at all. no hope for a better life. no hope for me to ever get better #no hope that i'll be ok. that the surgery will go ok. no hope that i'll ever get to move away from here #i feel so fkn stuck and i just dont have any energy or motivation to do anything at all #im so fkn anxious abt my health issue nd the surgery nd recovery #on top of that im so fkn stressed bc when smth like this happens i go completely non functional #so i dont know how to do my schoolwork now. i cant go to class bc i cant focus bc of the pain nd stuff #but if i dont do school what will happen w my wellfare?? #idk idk idk what to do there are just too many things #and there is absolutely NO FKN HELP AT ALL in this wretched society #no help. my mom does as much as she can but she's also sick nd deals w years long burnout #im at a point where i dont feel like i know how to keep going. i just wanna lie down nd give up #but then i might become homeless nd that'll be so fkn much worse so i have to do smth #i need to try to talk to school nd my wellfare worker but i dont expect help #they'll just tell me to suck up the pain nd do everything anyway so idk i dont even feel like trying #im feeling more depressed than ever and it doesnt matter if i ask for help bc there is none for me #i want to get out of this nd make a life for myself but idk how #and i see NO light at the end of the tunnel at all. no light whatsoever. everything feels fkn pitch black #everythings just bad nd it is contaminating my mind completely nd idk how to stop it #i cant even cry i just feel so empty yet overwhelmed i want it all to just stop i cant keep up cant do it anymore idk how #but ending it all takes too much effort. there rlly should be just a pill u get prescribed. it is inhumane to force ppl to go thru more suff #also i wont do that to my mom so like im stuck here either way. i dont want to feel like this i want to feel ok i want to feel hopeful #and bright nd like maybe there is a chance nd way for me i dont wanna feel.. utter despair

[oloreaa]

Weirdest feeling ever

#no i have stuff to do and i have to study but im kinda having an existential crisis so hm #im going to leave taiwan in about two weeks and im so conflicted on how i spent my time here #i have the feeling that i didnt see enough or did enough while i was here and met with friends #but at the same time i know that lots of time i genuinely didnt have the energy for it and its so hard being away from home #esp since i miss my bf and my family like crazy #at the same time i have family and friends in taiwan as well and i also want to spend time with them but the family is so draining #and its just slowly hitting me that many things i do here will be the last time i do #like being at that bus stop or walking down that street or seeing that building #like i know its coming to an end and i will and can probably never return to this specific point again #so im just. just trying to comprehend whats going on vs what i should have done #all the while wishing that i was back already so i can eat my mums food and see my dad in the garden #and my siblings playing video games together and my friends in our city #and i want to be held by my bf so much. these months have felt like an eternity #but i also dont want to leave taiwan bc it was a really nice time here that felt like being in a little bubble #when im back im going to have to work and focus on my bachelors and deal with family #like im really really torn about how i should feel and if there is a way that i can feel #so kinda wanna just bundle up and do nothing but i have my final on friday so i cant #rea rambles

[weenhands]

i wanna die im sorry gerard i let you down but this gender stuff is kicking my ass

#dysphoria is fucking flarring up #idk why lately its so bad (LITERALLY identifies as genderFLUID...HERe comes the FLUID part of your gender) #i literally dont know anymore but fucking honestly i wanna cry and i think my brain is like.... ok so we are done mourning our past self? #ok nice! NOW lets deal with transgenderism :) #litwrally just want to cry infact i am crying yhis hurts im scarwd #like i just. idk i dont wanna describe it but rather talk about how much it hurts #i think bc i stopped repressing it or normalizing it #like me saying im being overdramatic or whatever #after i stopped doing that its knocking so loudly at my door #and i dont even want to tell anyone i feel somewhat ashamed about this too #so many fucking steps back man #i couldve fully understood and embraced myself #if anyone needs triggers for this stuff pls lmk somehow bc im gonna probably keep discussing this #instead of like. me committing suicide at least LOL #but yea Um wow i need to maybe like. think more deeper into thi #this** #i might change my pronouns again jesus fucking christ fjdjdjfjfjvjvgjf #im punching and eat ing dry wall #edit changed my pronouns :} *loud explosion*

[rebelwithoutabroom]

.

#this whole thing with spnp is wild #everyone on twt acting like this is a huge moral failing when in reality hes like... a white cis man whos a millionaire #even tho the communuty around him is super diverse he will never be able to fully grasp what it means to go there #i dont agree with it but its also shitty to see how many stans are acting like entitled little gremlins dictating what he can or cant do #he has a right to choose to do what he wants and its up to us to watch it or not #(i wont) #this is not a personal attack it is a business decision and he will deal with the consequences whatever they are #one thing i always talk abt with friends is how much of this energy should be directed at actual queer/women/poc creators #they are white cis male americans i dont go here expecting a masterclass in anti-capitalism and class awareness #we all gotta also take a step back sometimes and gauge why we're expecting so much from a bunch of mncrafters

[aria0fgold]

Everything is so wrong with my tumblr I am grgrrjrjugskgvhgvjbm. Oh my god. What is happening??? The links are broken?? Is it just me? Why is everything breaking????? There's always, ALWAYS an extra https:?//hrefli? smth smth or wtv at the beginning of the url and im like, gurl pls, why is that there, why must you torment me with the extra step of checking the url, deleting that thing, just for the page to load properly. Why is the dash looping, i just saw a post where the user at the reblog was blank, what is going on bro?????

#aria rants #im like... my stress threshold is still like 50% or higher #i dont got enough power in me to deal with the confusing shit my dash is throwing at me. its like hitting me full force on the face #im here for a good time to distract my brain #cuz like it aint anything bad but my... gamer habits... #like every day passes and im reminded of the fact that all my plans for my games came crashing down cuz of my mf phone #im like ohhhhhhh pleeeaaassseeee my sanity #i had plans to get 90k-120k gems in proseka for the cards i want cuz f2pain BUT THAT AINT POSSIBLE NO MORE IM MISSING EVENTS RN #mahoyaku is preparing to release a new halloween themed event and cain has a new ssr in it and i wanna try getting it BUT I CANT-- #dont even get me started with my drawings bro ohmygod #i had plans to draw for my au. my ocs. kel's birthday cuz i have like an idea for it (he shares a birthday with elysia from hi3) #i wanted to draw both of em and itd be so cute but AHAH how #akitos birthday is coming up and his birthday gacha i need his birthday card and its the only gacha i can have so many akitos #ive been playing terrible facebook games yall im going through it #have i told yall that mahoyaku anni is also creeping near

[corpsoir]

i think i might take a few days off from tumblr 👍 dont worry i'm fine and i'm still here i just need a short break

#whatever #i'll be back with more things soon maybe?? just give me a couple of days i'm feeling kinda blue rn lol #it'll pass i promise i know how to deal with myself #also had a really fucked up blog interact with my art and now i feel super super weird about everything and i want to burn everything #hhhujghghh. sorry #i really do like posting my art here but i lose the motivation to do so because so many just. dont reblog stuff #and i dont want to sound whiny and annoying about it but i just feel like stuff i make just. idk whatever #i'll be back shortly lol i couldn't leave if i wanted to #i just uuuuhhhh need a moment. im very tired and stressed and sick of gross people showing up here #both in my notes and on friends blogs and whatever #like. i shouldnt let things get to me but it does #there was a n/azi blog liking my art the other day and it made me feel so sick i dont even know what to say #i just. you know i think i need a break from feeling like i gotta check tumblr all the time #im constantly on edge on here because i dont want yucky people on here #and i feel horrible about it idk. #sorry for the 5000 miles of tags here

[volinare]

i like. can barely read this. barely any mention of why these disorders develop, how they actually work internally (when that was mentioned in other chapters)

literally multiple times like 'these specific ones are super problematic' (literally used the term problematic.

and some of it is just plain wrong. or works off of a philosophy that not everyone subscribes to. like... ugh. its just.

they talk about personality disorders like if you met someone with one you woudl know immediately and like you shoukd never talk to them or theyll ruin your life.

like theyre describing bpd like these people are like monster time bombs or people with ASPD like they dont have an internal world at all.

like i just dont think 'meanness' or 'lying' should be the basis of any diagnosis. I understand why they are included but so much of behavior is influenced by circumstance.

theres also like, I just noticed this (and the next chap is on therapy so maybe theyll talk about it there) but theres like literally no mention of medications or therapy for ANY of these disorders.

it just makes me so fucking. like.

#i probably sound fucking stupid here but #just AAAASSAGGGGGHHHHHHH #strangle strangle kill kill kill cry kill kill eat flesh and burn #edit: when i say any disorders i mean stuff out sode if the personality disorders as well #i know theres not a ton of treatment available for personality disoerderd but treating comorbities (also not mentioned AT ALL) #and talk therapy can help if the person like #wants to or has the mindset that they can manage symptoms #like not everyone with a personality disorder wants too and that like their own deal #but. a big part of that is definitely how people talk and treat personality disorders. and how often people are miss diagnosed #either not diagnosed at all or shoved into a box because their cercumstances fit #like you cant be diagnosed with a lit of disorders untill 18 but so so so many psychologists will still essentially do so #because they think the person is somehow beyond help or like something like that #when the whole point is like they probably still live i whatever houshold caused them the catalyst trauma #and like. im not a fucking expert and a lot of this is probably wrong or nieve #but i just. #idk #edit2: and im not like weh these people are so baby! we should never hold them accountable! its more like. this is literally set up to abuse #like this system is made in a way that the people i power can abuse it easily and no body will say or do anything #and i just dont think it should be set up like that.

[wickershells]

Sigh. vent time u know the drill

#i havent been sleeping well recently. and ive been losing a lot of daylight whenever i do #my brain feels all mush-like. i just cant think of the right words for anything. its like im dreaming #ive missed the deadline for applications so theres another year gone. im so stagnant my life is idle #ive never been more desperate for spring before in my life #i want to go places and see things because i am so miserable stuck here. so i tell myself it will change once i can leave #but i dont have money. and i cant keep a job being as unstable and sensitive as i am i need to get better first #but in order to get better i need to spend money that i dont have #i dont think i was supposed to be happy. i dont think life ever planned that for me #i know that is such a defeatist and ugly attitude to have but truly i am just so unhappy all the time and i have been for years #realistically speaking im never going to be able to keep myself afloat i dont know what to do with that #and im the loneliest ive ever been #i try reaching out and i meet nothing #i know how hard it is to love me which is why no one really does. and i dont say that to be self-pitying #im so incompatible with everyone i love even my own mother. i keep trying to stop being so sensitive but ive been trying to get thicker #skin my entire life and it has never worked. i am perpetually upset no matter how hard i try i dont think i was built to still be here #i convinced myself i wouldnt be and now i am and i dont know how to deal with that. so many things i never preserved or procured because #i figured i would be long gone by now. that was a bit silly of me. but now ive left myself nothing. im left with nothing #everything i had hoped for as a little kid is ruined now all because of me. i have irreparably destroyed my life i mean that #and i cant handle the inevitability of grief and its growing closer and closer as everyone gets older and older #which is why in an act of pure selfishness id rather let everyone else deal with it. in the nebulous sense #god i just. ive spent year after year trying to fix my life and nothing has worked. not even close #im trying not to believe that its futile but deep down i think i already do #well. whatever #mine

[maryscigs]

y’all are so weird

#like truly the marauders fandom has become such a weird and uncomfortable place #and like….. the fandom had been here forever it’s literally not that big of a deal that one author has taken down their fics it happens all #the time #idk maybe this is an opportunity for y’all to not become so obsessed with some random ass person who’s just trying to also enjoy fandom spac #idk how many times it must be said that authors of literally FANFICTION dont gain money out of this #and do it bc they want to and enjoy doing it #if they stop liking they fandom for x/y then they have every right to leave #like i really don’t get what the fuss is all about???? #anyways lemme sit back down ive down my fair exchange of discord of the year #marauders #the marauders

[thedeafprophet]

Whenever people say trauma dumping is not a real thing, I flashback to being a teenager wherein people I'd have met for maybe an hour would think it's suddenly okay to tell a random stranger their entire childhood trauma in great detail.

Like. It's def not when a friend talks to you about their issues. But complete strangers using you as a backdrop for their emotions is most certainly a thing. And I def have sympathy for people who go through stuff but theres a time and a place. Those are for convos with people who know you or a therapist, not strangers.

#places that is also not for: a livestreamers chat. a gaming discord. etc. #i know it can be hard to understand when and where #but ill be blunt: strangers do not want to here that. and they are not equipped to help #and sometimes u may not have people to talk to #i ghosted so many people after that #i got my own shit to deal with. this is not how u make friends #(even worse is the case I've heard where full-grown adults would be dumping their issues on teens. completely inappropriate) #bleh #sorry for rambling i just have opinions on this #but theres a reason i dont go around telling people about MY issues #the prophet speaks #ask to tag