//nonaskBUTWITHBRINKTHISTIME AND ARMAGEDON STUFF AND A BIT OF BRAMBLE ARC
obligatory @doors-worstenemy for anything considering tussler. Half of this may be brinkborgish because like. My mind is kymudd>brinkborg>blink>slinkborg/whatever the fuck that poly am clusterfuck is /neutral
anyhow. Thinks about armagedons ending. How quickly they left for the witherbanes. How brink was at the bar thar night. Do you think he saw kydelious in his old rivals eyes? Do you think he saw the blood stained tunic of a man who should have died- submitted to dia- claimed in the wreckage- with his people--
reborn?
do you think in that second, brink saw peace in his enemy turned friend ((turned crush maybe im pandering a bit but awaygh enemys to lovers has my sorryass)) and he felt happy? Or perhaps was it offputting to see the fire in kyborgs eyes calm down?
do you think at a point, kyborg ever introduced himself as kydelious after, and brink would wonder from his carful mayoral perch of what shifted in his mind? What brought that old dog of a name home?
do you think he ever knew the days before? Were they ever recounted to him, the plights of somebody he was so bitter towards who just wanted love?
Do you think that night in the bar, when the eye lock of knowledge of knowing an evil had been dealt with-, they both felt relief?
whatever the answer is, its between the two men, and that hate and that love and that burning question may never find a place to rest.
"what changed, rust bucket..?"
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what do you think lude felt when johnny stopped coming with him to parties and clubs. when he stopped returning lude’s calls, when johnny started holing himself in his apartment and stopped returning any calls. when lude came over to johnny’s workplace and found out johnny’s been fired a long while ago. do you think he felt guilt when he visited johnny and saw how far gone he was in his obsession with The Navidson Record, seeing as how lude was the one who found it and thought to show johnny, knowing he would be interested? do you think lude blamed himself for johnny’s downfall. do you
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not to start on my shit again before it's even 8 in the morning, but. *but.* A small thing I've noticed, that relates back to that post about icarus' crying I made last night, is just how. quiet? dialed back? icarus' panic is - at least, when people are around. Icarus' panic is never loud - sometimes you have to look look to tell they're even panicking. it's never nearly as noticeable as a lot of people's. And there's something to that. something about the way they hide their panic and their tears until they're alone. I don't necessarily think yesterday as a whole is a good example of that - they definitely do it with the crying, but not necessarily the panic. The stream with Fable and Icarus from Friday though, you can see this whole idea a little easier. They panic from the second they wake up from the memories, and they definitely calm themself down a little, but the second fable comes down to check on them, they dial it back. Their panic gets quieter and dialed back the whole time fable is there - and sure, that might be a good thing, but. *but.* (Not the first time this has happened, but definitely the most recent example that comes to mind.)
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Rare Alu Rant About Fandoms bc I never say shit:
Sue me, but getting into a fandom just for the intention of becoming popular is so weird to me.
Like sure you want a lot of people to see what you make. Because making something for the fandom should be seen! That’s dope as hell.
But you’re gonna lose inspiration real fast when you find out content creation takes a lotta work but more often than not comes with little reward.
I hold firmly the belief that Fandom is for making content for the pure reason of just because you can.
✨the joy of free will to bring your delusions to life so others can indulge in their delusions as well✨ Kinda vibes? Yanno?
I never started making HL content with the idea in mind that I’d reach 9k followers on tiktok. And I ain’t gonna lie it’s daunting for me. Specially as someone whose always just made shit for whatever reason without even posting it. But The videos that got me views and followers on tiktok, were made because I was high and wanted to laugh. And I’d figured “what the hell, this made me laugh….Maybe it will make someone else laugh.” And I’m glad it did.
And now I float around just making stuff. I still make whatever I want tbh. I do my best to give credit where credit is due in what I make. And yeah I’ve done some fan service videos and writing here and there because hey it’s fun for me.
I see so many posts or peoples bios saying that they’re working towards being popular in fandom and then their posts are what other people said or made on Twitter or tiktok or Vice versa and there’s often times there’s no real credit to original creators.
Don’t get me wrong, if it’s properly credited, AWESOME. Usually it’s not though, and that’s just wild to me. Because how are you expecting to get popular under your own name when you’re just reposting stuff.
That doesn’t make you a content creator.
A historical collector guess?? Because you’re like idk collecting all the stuff people made and what not onto a new page.
Idk dude. I just miss authenticity I guess. People making stuff and just being excited to show it.
Don’t get me wrong though it’s not all terrible on here and everywhere on the internet for fandoms. I’ve made close friends with other creators who feel and see fandom much the same. Just here to vibe and escape.
I’m not saying I don’t think views and followers and likes and notes or what have you, matter. I know they do. I get a lil confidence boost when something I make pops off. I feel proud.
But man it’s the intention of “ Im trying to be a popular creator” that rubs me the wrong way. Make stuff because you like it. Not because other people will. Doing whatever to get you likes wont bring the same satisfaction. And in more cases than not I see it backfiring and causing drama because, like I said it’s usually shit that’s copied or reposted.
Who knows maybe I’m just old and don’t understand bc I also see fandom and the work I’ve contributed as something I wouldn’t like boast about in real life. Because the reaction wouldn’t be positive. Like just for enjoying Hogwarts legacy I get teased in my daily life from acquaintances. It’s not totally negative. Buts it’s enough for me to know that YEAH 9k followers on tiktok don’t mean anything in the real world LMAO because at the end of the day, offline, I am still just a nerd whose daydreaming in her bedroom to escape reality.
I’m 24 dude. And I work in news. Shit is exhausting. Read a headline and you’ll see what I mean. And I just wanted to rant about it because it’s been bugging me since I joined fandom again last year.
But due to, idk my follower count and whatnot I always felt like I can’t or rather I shouldn’t speak my mind so much for fear of SOMEONE coming for me for something. And man I hate that feeling bc this bitch has opinions and I dislike the idea of feeling like others have control over it. But tbh eh. I wanted to rant. Just speaking into the void of the internet.
If you decide to send anon hate for my opinionated rant be ready for a meme bc I don’t have the mental capacity to take anything other than my IRL life responsibilities seriously lmao.
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