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#i guess i didnt want him to get the impression i wasnt interested at all
catmemey · 7 months
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newness? maybe.
#big tags ahead fyi#last chapter in the [redacted] saga probably for a little bit#i responded to his message from last night#i didnt want to go overboard with being affectionate in a romantic way or anything#so i went a softer route of thinking about how he's my closest friend and I still want to tell him what he means to me#so... it was still extremely genuine and i was vulnerable in saying all that#but... then his response was like. 'i think i get a bigger picture and maybe misunderstood what you had said'#and im internally like. wait. what do you mean. what did you misunderstand.#why does it sound like you think i only like you as a friend#because i dont but it felt selfish to dump all that on him#and he even apologized for dumping some of the things he said on me#but anyways. i panicked a little bit.#i guess i didnt want him to get the impression i wasnt interested at all#so i sent an obscure message being like 'well if its not selfish to say then i actually would have said more#but it felt selfish to say all that'#and then he was like 'well maybe i'll say one last thing. it isnt selfish to speak your mind.'#'and id rather be honest with each other if nothing else happens'#so i was like well ok here's my chance#and said that i want to and would date him if he was single and exclusive#and then he was basically like 'yeah me too but i care too much about [my gf] to end it'#which i knew#its just.......... a lot.#and i offered some advice about his relationship if he wanted#as long as he didnt care if it was hard hitting#and he was like 'sure let me see how you throw those punches'#so i lobbed some heavy questions at him#and he was like 'those werent bad. i cant say i know the answer to any of them'#so mission accomplished there i guess?#but... he said he wanted to have some time to himself to think everything over#which is very fair. there's so much
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strangewiggles · 8 months
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pathologic furry designs because im a nerd
(aglaya, rubin, and lara, *ft artemy)
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i usually dont post uncolored drawings/doodles but i plan on making a few of these
HUGE thanks to my buddies for help/input on these..both are huge brained and awesome at art follow them now
heres the thought process (spoiler free, mostly based on patho 2)
me and my buddies were in a call for all of these and we had a very intellectual conversation about all of them. when looking for furry designs i usually think of personality, mannerisms, and likeness.
Aglaya, Shoebill
both of the friends i asked havent played the game past day 5 (one of them is on day 2) so i asked “what animal would she be” with just a picture of her model. i was interested to see what 2 people who’ve only seen her once (in the intro) would think of her purely on vibes and brief dialogue. the first suggestion was “some kinda bird” and that seemed to stick.
a bit tall, a bit intimidating. so we threw out Herons, Ostriches, Peacocks…
Shoebill seemed to fit. I wanted a bird that was either grey or black, some kinda desaturated color but also one that was tall and a bit scary. Shoebills are definitely considered pretty scary. theyre also super tall and i remember saying in the call "these things are huge if i saw them flying i would cry." when it comes to shoebills, i imagine them towering over most other animals, especially with that neck and beak! they're also ambush predators i believe. shoebills fit Aglaya's first impressions perfectly.
i almost made her a Dalmatian... im glad i didnt...
Rubin, Skinny Pig
I wasn't even going to initially draw Rubin here... it started by me asking "who'd be a naked mole rat?" and the immediate answer was "Rubin..." which made me remember that he was bald LMAO. I figured that fit a little, and the original drawing was him as a naked mole rat. a few things werent quite right though.
first, digging. i cant imagine Rubin as an animal who's entire thing is digging around and being dirty, he's a doctor and, other than blood, i can't imagine he'd wanna be dirty...
second, social groups. as far as i know, naked mole rats are very social within their own circles? just from the early game (as early as the first 3 days?) he's pretty antisocial and seems to have a distaste for the Kin, even if influenced by grief(the emotion not the person). he even seems reluctant to be close to close friends.
and, of course, moles have to be saved for someone else... we'll get there. WINK
..i dont remember how Skinny Pigs came up, i think i was just googling them and thought they were funny since i have a friend who owns some.. i did a bit of googlin and asking my buddy in the call about skinny pig mannerisms.. theyre pretty...territorial? at least males to other males, theyre pretty aggressive as far as i know. this definitely fit Rubin. the OTHER reason for any kind of guinea pig was considered was because of the concept of "test guinea pigs" and not in a literal sense, but just the concept, because of Rubin's connection to Isidor. i will say i felt like the smartest person on earth when i thought of that.
also the cute ears absolutely influenced the decision.
Lara, Generic Ass Wolf
Lara was genuinely so difficult... unlike the other two, there were literally no suggestions being thrown out. my description was something like "maybe something small, cute, short tempered, but social?" and, for some reason, that was a tall order. my first guess was a mouse, but that wasnt perfect... we thought we'd have to turn to bugs and fish, though a lot of bugs and fish are hard to find personalities for.. at a surface level at least. we decided to save bugs and fish for other people...
and then, the suggestion of "wolf" came up, albeit reluctantly. when it comes to furry-fying characters, wolves and dogs are definitely...up there, in terms of "most used/obvious".. but really, think about it.
Believe it or not, wolves can be a little anxious, if not in a way that presents itself as anger/defense. this is also how i described Lara, "anxious in a way that presents as anger." also, wolves, while sometimes being a little solitary, are commonly in packs. which is...Lara's, like, Whole Thing. a house for the living etc etc..
I don't think i need to explain wolves too much either way. theyre The Furry Animal. whatever you know about wolves is probably true for Lara. it seems low-effort but trust me this decision took forever LMAO
and i mean...look at her. she looks like a wolf
*Artemy here is a bull because... yeah. that's the most obvious one. as #1 artemy fan i couldn't in good conscious make him anything other than a bull even if it's low effort idgaf... ill look at types of bulls for him later.
hope you liked my rambles..
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a1li-ens · 1 year
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hello if ur still. willnignto talkab slow damage i would lvoeee to knoe ur thoughts on the other love interests and also towa himself as a character ! :3
IM ALWAYS DOWN TO TALK ABOUT IT YIPPEE!! ⭐
adding a cut to this i have a lot of thoughts lol (💖・ω・) (includes spoilers)
👨‍⚕️taku: OK HE IS MIXED FOR ME i like him in routes other than his own LOL i think hes rly fun as like a semi normal acting guy in weirdo town. Its cute he cares a lot about the ppl at the clinic and i like the scenes where he hangs out and eats with towa and rei so much its cute they are a silly family 😭
i think hes really fun as a nice dad or at least big bro in towas life but that is why i dont like his route romantically its WEIRD THAT WAY LOL... bro u have known towa way too long for this.. please fall for some other dilf or something!! his bad end was too much for me and i have a strong stomach !!! (less so the bugs and more the meth slave thing .. get a better hobby sir!!)
but otherwise i like him! him doing meth warcrimes besides the bug related ones are interesting and the whole mansion part of his route was rly cool and fun to read!! also hes just funny i love that hes always responding to things like -_-????
i like the breaking bad pictures.
🍰Rei: I LOVE REI SO MUCH so cute 😭 his was my second fav route in general! hes so sweet and its so cute how much hes always thinking about everyone 😭 i also love how he has so many hobbies he has!! I didnt quite like his route as much from a plot/worldbuilding perspective as much as some of the others+the moneymatch stuff in general was kinda not as interesting just because i think its like. nothing super new or exciting i guess! but im a character writing person so that doesn't bother me lol!
I rly love his self love / acceptance journey.. i am emotional.. even if I visually hate his stupid tiny haircut!! i hope he can lean back into some of his not traditionally manly side after he is comfortable with gender stuff 🥺
I think as a romance route his was rly nice!!! it was cute and sweet and its sweet the ways they support eachother 🥺💖 towa feels very like affectionate in a cat way towards him its cute! I like them as bffs maybe more they are just too cute that way 😭 i want to b reis friend as well
his bad end is GOOD !! towa looks COOL i like the corset ribbons.. i want to see a full body CG what else has he done!! wasnt expecting rei to be the eye pussy one but ill take it .
🐈Madarame: OK.. first half of his route i rly hated him SORRY TO FANS but thinking back on it and playing more i dont hate him now LOL I feel like even after playing i don't know enough about him as i'd like! i want to know what this bitch does in his spare time other than towa lol ?? its cute that he likes cats and i liked him and the boys all eating pizza!! the towa infiltrating in the cute suit part was rly fun too! i wanted to see him talk to mayu and kotarou and stuff more he doesn't talk heaps in general tho hfjhfh
regarding them as boyfriends i am a sappy romance person so their type of affection isn't my normal preference but it suits them! I think that why it was kind of hard to get through the start besides me never rly liking the ⭐problematic guy⭐ route in VNs LOL! but im glad in both endings they are so happy but was a nice surprise! yeah boys u have fun!!
🐇 fujieda : FUJI... I WROTE A LOT IN THE LAST ASK trying to think of new info i didnt write there. I love that he is actually kind of an airhead LOL i feel like he would be rly worried when towa said he caught ligma...... him before he teams up with towa is funny too like how often is he hiding in that concrete pipe???? is he comfy?? i love him.
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theres prob more i haven't said about him but ill leave it at his lovingly drawn bazongas for now.
🎨towa: I LOVE TOWA.... LIKE OK... my skrunkly.. initial impressions i love every manslut character by default and he is very nice to look at. his personality is so fun omg what a bitch!!! i love that for him.i am biased because its also my dayjob but him being a medical receptionist is so funny LMFAO he seems terrible at it go king give us nothing !! obviously his hobbies make him rly fun to read about, i rly like his art hes good at it!!
plot and everything else wise UOUGHhhhh he makes me emotional. i am having trouble articulating about him because of this KJHBJHB no matter the routes i love watching him open up his feelings a bit 😭 the way he actually cares about people close to him even though hes been trying to convince himself he doesn't need other ppl gets to me 😭 his vulnerable moments make me emo... him wanting to see fujis scars in the shower especially got to me 🥺😭
his backstory stuff is rly well done too i think his mental health is rly well done in general 😭 but its kinda refreshing its not all magically better either afterwards boys got a lot to work through!!! but i am so glad he can smile in fujis route.. .uuuuu😭😭😭
I rly like how hes upfront and shameless about being gay and a weirdo yeah king own it!!! him being snarky and cheeky all the time is cute too!! i have more to say but i need to work out how to write it. he is important 2 me💖
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quick thoughts on non datable character stuff:
Ikuina - I LOVE HIM SOOO MUCH i like guys who are so horny they become useless. his euphoria scene is really great LOL i know they dont but it would be fun if he and towa could be friends afterwards. can someone hack the game give him a route .
asakura- HIS TASTES ASIDE i think he was actually really interesting and cool to read about!!!! the angel thing was dope.. towa getting the wings.. so COOL
the guy in reis chap 2 mizuno was it??? was that his brothers name??? anyway i wasnt that interested in him LOL not much to say here
Mayu - SLAY HIS ENDING IS SOOO FUNNY.. stan a guy with like 3-4 clear nendoroids i like him
kotarou- ending should have been in a cleaner bathroom !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eiji- I LOVE EIJI HE IS SOOOO CUTE AND FUN
SORRY TO WRITE AN ESSAY THERE IS SO MUCH I DONT THINK IVE EVEN ADDRESSED HERE LMFAO GAME TOO GOOD!!
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thai-with-booty · 2 years
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I have a numbers question for you. Let's call those Lek statistics 😉
On a regular night, how many guys would bar fine you on average? I'm guessing you will have a range here, with what number is more common.
Was there a typical age range that was more likely to bar fine you?
How rare/frequent, let's say maybe on a weekly basis, you would have more than one guy together?
How rare/frequent was it for guy(s) to leave with more than one bar girl? How many "colleagues" have you shared dick with in the same room?
Biggest group you fucked during a night?
Longest time you spent with one client (or group)? All night? Even longer, like days?
How many regulars did you have? Guys that would come to the bar looking specifically for you?
How many girls would work there on busy nights at your bar?
Any other numbers that might impress us? Please brag away 😈
That is a lot of questions and ill try my best to answer each one.
As to how many guys would bar fine me of a night. It depended if he was taking me for short time or long time. If its long time i was his for the night and wouldnt return to the bar. Short time though u might have at the end of the night, was more something that was good after or early evening, u could have shared some drinks with a customer in the bar, he takes u out, u got to a room and fuck, then can back to the bar, find new customer. I would say on a good evening/ night i might have gone with 3. But mostly if I was in the bar and taken out, it was just once when later. I would prefer bigger money for one time than lots of times for less.
Age range. It was anything, I mean probably the bar was busier with older guys but had anything from a nervous young guy whos barely seen a pair of tits before, right up to guys who needed to be helped up the few stairs at the entrance. I wasnt really concerned about age, so went with all, but probably more were 40s and 50s.
There were girls who would be known would do anal or group sex etc. I would one on one for a long time, but there were times when I would have a customer and he says how much if I come with him and his friend. I started doing that, it wasnt common, but wasnt rare either. Was more I would judge it when offered and choose to say yes or no.
It was very common for men to want more than one girl. Most men were there to live out some sort of fantasy, and having two girls at once was probably one of the most common. You had to get comfortable with other girls very quickly. Could always refuse but there was no money in that. Often if I was asked, I would say can I pick the girl, normally they say yes as they think u will be more into it with ur own choice which is true. I had sex with my colleges in threesomes and in the same room sometimes if two friends took u back to the same room. You get used to having sex and being naked in front of each other. It was good going with other girls, u had each others backs.
I didnt do a full on gangbang. But I did have a few parties. Often a group of guys would have a big villa with a pool and want girls to hang out, basically they would have to pay the girls, sometimes it was a big figure but u were expected to be available to blow and fuck the guys. Normally it was just go to the room with a guy, but sometimes there was more of an orgy, or two guys would team up on u, or sex in front of others etc.
Spending the night with a guy was common, u leave with him to his hotel room, have sex and sleep, leave in the morning. If a guy was spending a lot though, I might be his 'girlfriend' while he is here, day time spend time with him go places, evening go to work at the bar, often he will come visit and ill leave with him again, or sometimes I can pay to not work, so I will stay a few nights with him. That was the longest time with a customer.
I had regulars, but often the expats, meaning guys who lived in Pattaya, they know the deal and want to try u when ur new but not interested going with the same girl each time. So often tourists might want u again but wouldnt be a regular as such as their holidays ended. But I did have some regulars. If a guy has some sort of kink that u would do, they would often just want u.
Wasnt a big big bar, but busy night maybe 10-15. There were always enough girls to go around.
As for other statistics, I have stories forever, just need to ask
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So! Two days ago, he mentioned that their college was having an open day (he’s 24, a little concerning to me that he chose to continue studying rather than working because he already has a diploma but again! Friends, friends. Not potential lover. Wake up!!!)
Now this open day was for 3 days and the last day being my day off from work. What was funny was that, he invited me on the last day! The guy who said he didnt want to meet is now inviting me to meet him! I was confused.
And i was like “huh?” Why would i go? Im part of the working class now, im not interested in college 😂 but he was like i can bring you around for a tour! And i told him i already had plans that day (which was planned like 2 weeks prior for the whole afternoon to evening and im severely introverted so i can only meet one circle of friends at one time before my social batt runs out completely). And he was like well theres your chance! And i was semi-frantic. like shit what if we really dont meet each other at all then all this would just stay as online interactions which i dont want!!!!!!! Anyway was that manipulation? What he said? I dont know but i gave in anyway. I had time in the morning so we agreed to meet then.
I wasnt too pressured which was crazy. If someone actually suggested to meet from online years ago, i wouldve FLED THE SCENE bc the fear of being seen scared me. But the nerves started developing a few hours before meeting him. That same fear of: shit what if i dont look like the girl in my pic or what if i seem uglier in person bla bla. And again i also dont know how he really looks like which made me more nervous bc what happens if he isnt cute. BUT AGAIN i told myself why am i thinking these things. This dude literally said to be just friends so friends dont need to impress each other. So that was what got me through my nerves.
a few mins before heading there, he sent a photo of himself for ref and NOW he looks short 😂😭😭😭 i was like @ god: god if you hear me please atleast let him be taller than me pls. And btw he looks okay! Hes not as he claims to be lmaooo. He said on text k oppa and hes quarter chinese. And he said once a korean dad wanted to intro him to his daughter. So that means handsome right? Well i guess his looks might pass for others. But in a different scenario, and we met before, i wouldve just walked past him without looking up so LOL.
Anyway so i came at 11:30 and met him! Thank god, hes taller than me 😂😂😂😂😂 but just by 4-5cm? Hes really sweet and i like his voice and hes very gentle, you can tell by his gestures. And how he uses like a softer tone when hes speaking to me. And if he didnt tell me he was an introvert, i wouldve assumed he was extroverted. Because its the way he goes around talking to people so casually makes me think so. Hes in student council so hes a pretty busy guy.
we only talked and walked for an hour before we had to go bc he had stuff to do, and i needed to slot in a quick nap before meeting my friends in the next hour (spoiler: i didnt get my rest😭😭) Basically the whole thing was okay and i would love to sit down and meet him again. We still texted after meeting up so i assume he thought i was okay too. But AHHHHHH AHHHHHH i cant believe i did that AHHHHHHHHHGHGH who is sheeeeeee im still recovering from all that social interaction huhu :(
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memecucker · 3 years
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ive never been to jail but i had a roommate that did and the incident actually had news articles about it so im gonna be vague but he hosted a party at his first school and a guest ended up shooting themself in the face with a gun owned by his then roommate. And what happened after that is my roomate and a bunch of other people got arrested and sent to jail and while in jail my roommate’s lawyer told him that he strongly suggests that they try and fight the DA from formally pressing charges (which probably wouldve been some type of manslaughter probably negligent since it wasnt his gun nor did anyone say it was his idea to play around with it while drunk but he did host the party) so he could have a clean record because being aquitted of manslaughter still doesnt look good. And I guess since he was in custody but wasnt charged yet there was no bond set because that comes after charges are accepted by a judge he just had to stay in jail for awhile. 
And when they moved him to county jail, for some reason, despite being a young college guy with a clean record, they decided to assign him to the inmate pod that is normally reserved for “Repeat violent offenders or inmates otherwise judged to pose a danger to themselves or others” despite the fact that if he allowed the charges to stick it wouldve been a first offense of someone with a clean record and no ties to organized crime. So essentially he got sent to the part of the jail that emulates a maximum security prison since thats where a lot of those guys are heading so it was the part of the jail with the worst conditions, the most terrifying inmates and the most sadistic guards but before that even happened he had to spend two weeks in solitary and was going utterly insane from that and he didnt know what was worse losing your mind and sense of self or living in terror of your life everyday. And his first cellmate was a middle aged white guy that my roommate initially saw as being one of the few normal-seeming inmates in a pod filled with actual killers and he just had no interest in spoiling that by asking the dude what his charges are since they got along but a few days later he saw him get beaten nearly to death by because a news article came out naming that guy as a child killer. Also since my roommate was white the Aryan Brotherhood basically had ‘sovereignty’ over him and he’d get approached by guys covered in Nazi tattoos wanting to ‘show him how things work’ but usually it was to extort commissary out of him but you see my roommate was also Jewish so the Aryan Brotherhood are definitely not “his people” nor is he “their people” so that was just constant terror. And his second cellmate was a really tall Black dude accused of murdering his girlfriend and he had the weird habit of getting up in the middle of the night to just stare at my roommate (supposedly) sleeping for long periods of time which was also terrifying. Anyway that actually ended up working out because he essentially became his cellmates ‘personal servant’ (you probably know the actual word inmates would use for this situation but I dont want to sound like Im insulting my roommate for doing the intelligent thing when it comes to survival) by doing all the chores for the cell, taking care of laundry, taking dictation for letters to the guy’s lawyer since prison letters have to be handwritten etc in exchange for direct personal protection. And since the guy was not only physically intimidating but also well connected with prison politics and respected in the Folk Nation which was the main Black gang the Aryan Brotherhood people stopped extorting comissary out of my roommate so that was actually the closest things got to working out. And like, maybe in a pod filled with DUIs and people in for mere possession you could get by if you project confidence and the right swagger but not in whats essentially maximum security because thats filled with people that dont give a fuck about killing because theyre not impressed by you not being afraid to fight theyre only impressed if you show you dont give a fuck about committing murder so keeping his head down and sticking with the most benign relationship he could find. 
 Anyway his lawyer’s plan worked and he got out after 6 months. Also one of the first things he did outside was change his facebook privacy settings since people were saying they were gonna look him up and add him
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nick-close · 3 years
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Ok now that I’m done being bright eyed over the finale I’m gonna be mad again- I don’t take back that it was the best finale it could’ve been I’m just ALSO so. GOD. This might come off as in a harsh tone, so if that’s not your thing you can skip this lol. I do still love the show with all my heart, don’t let my rant make you think otherwise.
Just. Everything with Glenn. EVERYTHING WITH GLENN.
I don’t know how many times I can reiterate he lost fucking EVERYTHING. To come to WHAT? The conclusion he wanted to be in nicks life more? and didn’t wanna be like his dad? Yeah no that seems a lot easier when he’s not,,, a single fucking parent raising a child without a support system huh!
Glenn could’ve come to that same conclusion, fought to get more time with Nick and stuff- without losing over a decade of his life, an eye, his kid, and now having to see the face of his dead wife fucking constantly.
AND GUESS WHAT?
THAT WASNT EVEN THE MAIN PROBLEM IN GLENN AND NICKS RELATIONSHIP!
The main problem was Nick idolizing his dad and them acting more like friends than a parent and child- but guess what? You know how they solved that?
It wasn’t confronting the issue or genuinely making both characters understand and improve their relationship.
It was getting rid of one of the characters. It was exchanging Nick for somebody else because hey!! Nick can’t idolize Glenn if Nick doesn’t fucking exist!
The problem wasn’t fixed!!! They didn’t LEARN from that!! Glenn being away sucked, but it wasn’t their issue! I mean again he was gone for Christmas, as a Christmas cover band. That sucks, but it was his JOB and probably the date they would make the most money so he could support his kid. Working on Christmas feels IMPORTANT for Glenn if his career surrounds that. Touring, and y’know- DJing- were how he was keeping them standing financially. And he fully hid one of those jobs for Nick so that Nick would think he was cool. He wanted Nicks approval just as much as Nick needed his.
I’m not saying Glenn’s ONLY issue was the nick and him being friends instead of family and like. The pressure nick felt to be like him- but I’m saying that that SEEMED to be the main issue that Glenn was supposed to be focused on fixing. That was what was laid out alongside Darryl’s communication issues and Henry’s lack of discipline- they all have other shit. But they had a MAIN issue.
And Glenn’s WAS NEVER SOLVED. WE HAVE NO PROOF HE HAS LEARNED THAT LESSON. Sure, he brought the minions DVD! But again- Glenn not showing interest in things nick liked was NOT THE ISSUE! Even the asmr mention- “Nick liked asmr-“ showed he does listen to things nick says he likes- Nick didn’t TELL Glenn about liking minions until the TRIAL. AGAIN, PART OF THE PROBLEM. HE DIDN’T WANNA MENTION IT CUZ HE KNEW HIS DAD DIDNT LIKE IT. THATTT IS THE PROBLEM.
The problem was ‘I don’t wanna harsh the vibes’. The problem was ‘nick doesn’t wanna talk about his problems incase it ruins Glenn’s mood’ and ‘Glenn doesn’t wanna confront about how he’s feeling incase that ruins nicks mood’. The problem is ‘I’ll do it if it’ll impress you!’
The problem was never ‘Glenn isn’t in Nicks life enough’ or ‘Glenn is too much like his dad.’ Again- those are partially problems as well! But they are NOT NOT NOT what Glenn was meant to get out of whatever sad attempt of an ‘arc’ he got.
No, Glenn got trauma. Glenn got replaced. And Glenn got the message that he was such a bad father to his kid he deserved to either DIE, or spend a lifetime in prison and let his kid go to someone else- and y’know what he did? He fucking chose to let Nick at least grow up with a dad.
And then Glenn was basically comparing himself to a married man with a stable career who... nick...idolized....and...wanted...to..be...exactly...like.... as if the issue was actively NOT Nick wanting to impress him constantly- with another guy that’s fine! No the issue was he was... a single man... with two unstable careers..... (ofc im leaving out details like the weed shit and stuff like that- ik thats bad, I’m not here to defend that- it’s just not the point.)
Glenn was basically told he fucked up SO irrepairably BAD that- he couldn’t learn different like Henry or Darryl or (arguably tbh) Ron- no, he did such a terrible job his son would be better off NOT EXISTING. Narc isn’t Nick. Lil Nicky ISNT NICK. NICK DOES NOT FUCKING EXIST. Glenn spent 12 years of his life raising this fucking kid, even if he wasn’t the best at it. And he has nothing to show for it.
God. I’m actually pissed thinking about it- the cherry on top being bringing Morgan back ofc. Because now he’s not even learning to coparent this kid, or have a fucked up messy little family- he’s just not NEEDED as someone in nicks life. He’s a weird third party invading on this other family he was never a part of because it’s the closest he can get to having his own. Nick has 2 loving fucking parents. Demon Nick talking to Glenn sounds like, PITY. Like it doesn’t sound like he views Glenn as any sort of figure in his life- it sounds like he feels bad so much shit happened to him. And I get it! Nicky has no attachment to Glenn! He’s just trying to be nice to someone who lost fucking everything.
Glenn wasn’t given a chance to change for his kid. He didn’t make the conscious choice to try and better himself. Glenn was put in the corner and told ‘improve’ while the person the improvement was meant to affect stopped existing. Glenn developed- but he sure as fuck didn’t become a better father. Because at the end of the day? He isn’t one. Because at the end of the day, he appearently doesn’t deserve to be one.
I don’t believe every story has to have a moral. But if Glenn’s did, it would be a fucking awful one.
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witchyfroggins · 3 years
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A/N: haha, i had this idea in mind for awhile so seeing that people havent taken the holden opportunity for a oneshot or reader insert i guess my time has come!
Also the reader is said to be female but you can change it otherwise i dont mind.
Summary: in the unlikely events of an adventurer coming across the gate to the shivering isles in hopes of stopping the infinite loop of the greymarch a ball is to be hosted as a last hurrah.
Warnings: Emotions (possibly)
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Everyone in the Isles gathered in Sheoth at this evening dresses in bright or dim clothes dependinf where they rein from. Mania or dementia. You were from (Mania/Dementia) you wore a (Favorite Dress) along with your hair pinned up by a white flower from Mania's garden that you managed to sneak or just take.
The normally deserted streets were littered with people in creative masks and beautiful gowns. You had a white owl mask with real soft feathers. It only covered your eyes so you had a deep (Favorite color) Lipstick on your lips.
You were new to the isles so the reason for this beautiful Mascerade was a mystery to you but you'll enjoy it nonetheless.
Everyone was enjoying their time. Chatting with eachother, drinking and eating as they waited for the arrival of their very special guest. You knew who it was of course, the famed daedric prince of madness, sheogorath.
When you had arrived for the first time. You were confused and scared, the white bearded man welcomed you with a surprisingly warm smile on his face. Why did you not kill you? You never found out.
After that, in time you managed to serve under him from (Mania/Dementia). You always admired him. Your fear faded as soon as you looked into those golden cat like eyes. You, for a lack of a better word, interested in this prince. He could also say the same for you.
Presenting yourself so rawly to him. It was if he could see a fraction of himself in your eyes. You were nothing like the other mortals who had been sent to him after a a gruesome death. He wanted to get to know you better. So you stayed.
Back at the ball you navigated your way to the small bar that had been set up to get a drink. You were a nervous wreck, you weren't one to always wear fancy clothes. Let alone be in a fancy ball. This might as well be your first time.
As you were sipping on a glass of red wine the noise of the ball faded as everyone gazed upon the stairs as a figure appeared wearing a rather unfitting suit for the prince of madness. It was purple and styles like your normal Tuxedo but it was decorated with a golden floral pattern on one side while the other was a black thorn pattern. He dawned a golden feline eye mask above his nose.
Of course he was accompanied with his Chamberlain Haskill in his normal attire despite the event.
Everyone soon stopped their conversation as the mad prince raised both of his arms in the air with a wide cat grin on his bearded face.
"Let the Mascerade begin!" He Declared earning a cheer of approval as the floating orchestra began to play a tune on their own.
Everyone went back to their business as the mad prince stood from the top of the stairs gazing at what could be the last heart filled moment in a long time. The greymarch was upon him and he didnt have the courage to tell (y/n). But he couldn't find the right time.
As if by coincidence his eyes landed on her form. Awkwardly shuffling to the back of the room in her beautiful (Favorite color) gown and white owl mask. As if a predator was drawn to its prey he couldn't take his eyes off her.
Normally he would refrain himself from dancing with the locals. It wasnt good for reputation. But he may not get another chance. He cringed at the thought of becoming Jyggalag and hurting her.
As if battling with his own mind he had finally come to a conclusion. You only live once, as mortals say even though he was a daedric god. She could only live once.
Before he could even register what he was doing he found himself moving down the stone stairs. Grabbing the attention of his loyal followers as they fearfully cleared the floor for him as he strided confidently towards you.
It was only when he was a few feet away from you, you realised him. Almost choking on your wine as he stood in front of you in an almost intimidating way. But when you looked up to him as he was taller then you. You could see his eyes. The pupils weren't their usual shape. They were wider, his beautiful yellow irises shy of disappearing.
Quickly you placed your glass down and bowled.
"L-Lord sheogorath, how can i help you?" You asked forcing the words our of your mouth joping to play it cool. However your voice betrayed you at that moment.
You awaited his response. The simplest things could tick him off bu tonight there will always be an exception. He looked down at you, he just laughed. Not his usual maniacal laugh. It was soft almost inaudible to the people around him. But he made certain you heard it.
He hooked a finger under your chin grabbing your attention as he guided your head to look at him. You could feel the heat rise on your cheeks as you gazed up at him. A kind smile on his face.
After a moment he steppes back giving enough space between you two for him to bow to you! A mortal. The crowd began to stir, whispering among themselves as he reaxhed out with his hand.
"A dance? Mi'lady?" He asked in his usual scottish accent that sent a shver down your spine.
You by all means would jump at the chance of dancing with him. But with the people staring and whispering behind their masks she felt as if it was wrong.
"Are you certain my lord?" You asked in an accent of your own. Oh how he loved to hear you speak. It made him feel as if he were flying. Well he can fly but it was different.
He didnt speak a word sending a glare to those around them. And with one swift movement he took you gently by the hand pulling you towards his chest. One arm sliding around your waist with ease.
"Don't mind them my dear. Tonight it's just about you and me" he whispered in your ear. He waited to long for this moment for so long and it was finally here.
He couldn't help but bask in your presence. Your smell, the feeling of you in his arms. It was beautiful. He guided you to the dance floor. Your dress swaying with his movements.
The band began to play once again. The lamps that hung on strings between the buildings changed into a beautiful red hue as it focused only on them.
You averted your eyes from him. To embarrassed to look his way. He wasn't impressed by this and with a small 'tsk' freeing one hand only to hook it under your chin once more as if it never left.
"I dont much like people averting my gaze (y/n). If it wasn't for your exquisite beauty i would have had you displayed as a carpet in my throne room" he stated his voice staying the same mono tone. It almost scared you if not for his hidden compliment.
He enjoyed dancing with you. Having you entwined with his own dark soul as he spun you around. However his glee wouldn't last long. There was still the dire situation to come and he has yet to tell you. Maybe he doesn't.
Sheogorath had a beautiful idea. A way to show his affection for you and get you out of danger.
With one simple movement he spun you around once again before dipping you low enough for your hair to become undone and hit the stone floor. He kept you their for some time. Just admiring how you looked. The red of your cheeks brought out your beautiful (eye color) eyes.
You couldn't hear anything above your own racing heartbeat as the close proximity of your face and his. His breath mingling with yours. Drawing you ever so closer to him.
With out a warning his lips connected with your own. It was just as you imagined it, soft, warm and slightly chasped but it was perfect.
Both of your lips moved in perfect sinc with eachother. As if you were made for him. A perfect mortal molded into his liking without his torment. You were perfect. He couldn't let you call to his lesser half.
He pulled you back onto your feet. Never removing his lips from yours. Spinning you around fast enough that you couldn't see straight. Then the last words you would probably ever hear from him in some time.
"I'm sorry"
His words confused you but as soon as you regained your balance and the world stopprd spinning you realised you were not in the isles anymore. You were in nirn.
____________________________
All done!
Wow! That took longer then i though and it is longer then i thought.
Anyway part 2??
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rint4rous · 3 years
Text
hogwarts au! oikawa
a/n: wrote this with a bad headache LMAO so if you see mistakes no you didnt <3
yeah help
anyway
oikawa toru
sixth year slytherin
captain of slytherin quidditch team
this one. very popular with the girls.
always gets gifts and confessed to, he turns them all down nicely tho
he flirts with them a little but never goes out with anyone
thanks but no thanks, hes focusing on quidditch
mostly hangs out with hanamaki, matsukawa, and iwaizumi
you, sixth year gryffindor
a chaser for the quidditch team
actually you and oikawa had a bit of a rivalry thing going on
because oikawa was getting good grades AND is good at quidditch
and it doesnt even look like hes trying.
and he lowkey comes off as arrogant sometimes
and youre like i hate geniuses
the two of you met during first year when he tried playfully hitting iwa in the hallway but iwa dodged
and you happen to be speedwalking past and then next thing you know you get slapped???
you stop walking and turn to oikawa
hes like HOLY CRAPDFHJSHJR
“I AM SO SORRY-”
“it’s alright!”
“are you sure??”
“yeah, it was an accident, right? …. unless it wasnt?”
“NO I SWEAR IT WAS AN ACCIDENT”
“i thought so! see you ‘round!”
then you skip away
yeah. yall dont really start competing and shit until you found out your mom and his mom had BEEF??? WHEN THEY WERE IN SCHOOL????
you found that out at the end of first year
“i heard tachibana’s son is in your year. or i guess she’s oikawa now.”
youre like yeah what about it
“my dearest y/n, you’re a smart little girl, okay?”
“so make sure you’re better than that oikawa kid, alright?”
and little innocent you is like “ok”
so start of second year, you study and work extra hard
but here’s perfect little oikawa who always knocks you down to second place
at first youre like. i’ll just work harder!
and he joins quidditch and so do you
so you try hard at that too
you’re not like a sore loser or anything so when slytherin wins you shake his hand with a smile
but by the end of the year you’re just kinda :/ now because you never see him studying or practicing spells so how the fuck is he BETTER THAN YOU AT EVERYTHING!!! ITS NOT FAIR!!!!!
third year you come into school with like not very good feelings abt oikawa
and your mom was on your ass about your grades and you’re like omfggg im TRYING OKAY IM TRYING SO HARD
too bad tho thats when he starts liking you …
middle of third year is when you start expressing those feelings for oikawa out loud
“i hate self-centered geniuses. come back down to earth, will you.”
he heard you say when test results came back
and hes like is she talking abt me? lol nah shes probably talking about stupid ushijima over there
and then he finds out you were in fact talking abt him
hes kinda hurt lol
then when the new term rolls in
and the two of you just start talking shit about each other and start arguing all the time
“what’s the answer, l/n?”
“fairy wings.”
“oh my bad, i didn’t realize she said oikawa, and not l/n.”
“oh sorry, i thought you wouldn’t know the answer so i answered for you! i saved you from embarrassing yourself. you’re welcome~”
your seatmate yaku was holding you down with all his might and HOW IS LITTLE MAN ABLE TO HOLD YOU BACK HIS GRIP IS STRONG BRO
the whole class s ighs here we go AGAIN
the teacher doesnt even bother sending you guys out to hall anymore because this happens so much
you always try to sabotage each other in potions
one time his eyebrows almost burned off after his potion exploded in his face
makki and mattsun like LMFAOWFEHERGUYER
then when the year ends you’re like ranting to your mom like “i hate geniuses. who does he think he is? just because he can beat me at everything?? i’ll show him. i’ll make him eat dirt in the field. i’ll wipe that dumb smirk off his face. i’ll-”
your mom: omg my little baby so full of hate just like her momma
fourth year you’re so determined to beat oikawa at something
he sees you in the library, unprovoked, once and he comes up from behind you like
“aw, is l/n gonna try beating me again this year? you know there’s no point in trying.”
you: hold it in hold it in hold it in YOU’RE MATURE NOW Y/N L/N. YOU SHOULD BE MORE MATURE THAN THIS DIMWIT IN FRONT OF YOU. inhale exhale inhale exhale
“aw, is oikawa gonna try beating ushiwaka in quidditch again this year? you know there’s no point in trying.”
way to be mature
poor oikawa tho you pressed a wrong button so he just leaves silently
you kinda regret it after
so this year goes like the last and so does the next
“arent you tired?? of competing with oikawa all the time??” your friend semi asked you
“kind of”
“then stop?? you dont have to fulfill your mom’s high school revenge lmao”
“ughh eita i know but im too far in”
one time you were out breaking curfew #savage
no but seriously you couldn’t sleep so you thought some fresh air will help, the dorms were super suffocating right now
you were stressed after your mom’s monthly letter
beat oikawa this beat oikawa that
you turn at a corner and you see the man himself, ALSO BREAKING CURFEW
now the both of you are looking at each other like 👁👄👁
“GOD L/N I THOUGHT YOU WERE A TEACHER I NEARLY DIED FROM A HEART ATTACK”
“shush before we both get caught”
“right sorry sorry”
“so what the hell are you doing breaking curfew.”
“what are you doing breaking curfew.”
“i asked you first”
“so?”
“just answer the question, oikawa.”
he looks around, making sure the coast was clear before he motions you over to him and as you walk towards him
you see the door hes standing in front of
he drags you in there and what you see is
a bunch of practice dummies
“yeah i,, practice my spells here at night. contrary to popular belief i’m not a genius like ushiwaka or tobio. i’m flattered you think so, though.”
and youre like he... actually practices?? he is actually human?
“what’s with that look? you wanna join me practice at night?”
“as if-” and then you see the book of spells and you guys aren’t even learning any of this YET. and you are determined not to fall behind oikawa “sure.”
oikawas like pardon?
you: i SAID SURE.
and so now at night you practice spells together
only because you want to beat him as if
the arguing goes down a little because you get caught up in beating each other at who gets to do the spell right first that practice runs super late sometimes and you dont have energy to fight with each other that early
everybodys like ??? huh????
but then you’re back to the usual bs in the afternoon and everybodys like oh okay so the world isnt ending yet
so anyway !! yall are practicing again
you’re pointing your wand at a practice dummy and trying to focus so you dont accidentally do something dumb
"hey why do you hate me so much?”
LITERALLY CATCHES YOU OFF GUARD AND BREAKS YOUR FOCUS
“it’s not because i hit you when we were first years right? it really was an accident i swear-”
“you still remember that?”
“well yeah… because i cant think of any other reason why you don’t like me.”
“um… trying too hard to please my mom, i guess. what about you? why did you try so hard to beat me at everything?” you ask, regaining your focus for the charm
“idk, you never paid attention to me unless i did.”
you scoff, “why? you don’t like me or anything, do you?”
“i do tho??”
he literally said that just before you chanted the spell and you got caught off guard and
“stupefy!”
it almost hits oikawa
oikawa: WHAT DID I DO
you: SHITHEAD DONT SAY THAT WHEN IM ABOUT TO DO SOMETHFIBEFH
“HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN???”
“I DONT KNOW IT WAS FUN COMPETING WITH YOU WHEN WE WERE SECOND YEARS AND IT JUST DID?? I TRIED SO HARD SO I CAN IMPRESS YOU AND I GUESS MY PLAN BACKFIRED BECAUSE I DONT THINK YOU LIKE ME VERY MUCH”
now youre staring at each other and you’re both red
he kinda quiets down “and you’re a better rival than ushijima anyway. i don’t mean any of the stuff i said, i swear. i know you don’t like me but i just needed to let that out or i will go insane.”
and hes just looking down all shy
at this point you actually dont know if you like oikawa or not
i mean??? you spent like 3 years butting heads with this dude
and he liked you the whole time?? hes crazy this man is crazy.
maybe you were just in denial the whole time
because?? you could’ve stopped competing with him at everything
maybe you did enjoy it somehow
he did make your life at school interesting
“let’s go out on a few dates and we’ll see.”
his head just whips up and his eyes like light up and hes so EXCITED
in the time before you officially started dating
you find out from iwaizumi that even tho he smiles at a lot of girls its actually rarely genuine the only girl hes ever seen oikawa smile about genuinely was you
and that his mom actually didnt approve of him playing quidditch at first because he had a bad knee but he pushed for it because he really wanted to
he has like a smug and a flippant demeanor but hes very attentive and super caring !!
hes super passionate and hard working at what he does and
i guess now you finally realize you are falling
it takes five dates until the two of you officially start going out
if you tell third year you that you were dating oikawa she would never believe it but here you are, walking to class with him
when the two of you walked in the classroom talking
like TALKING NORMALLY AND NOT THE USUAL “i will choke you in your sleep” “ooh, kinda k-” “don’t”
it was already sus when the arguing toned down a bit but now that its like. REALLY GONE?? everybody is so confused
LMFAO matsukawa asks like “what happened?? are you guys broken?”
“no???”
“how rude! dearest y/n and i are dating now!”
everybody in this class: see now thats crazy. that is crazy.
makki: maybe we didnt hear him right. say that again oikawa
oikawa: me and y/n are dating.
everybody: oh okay bc we thought you said you and l/n were dat- WAIT SO YOU AND L/N REALLY ARE TOGETHER??? 
you: unfortunately
oikawa: h-hey :((((
everybody: SO WE DONT GOTTA LISTEN TO YALL ARGUE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING??? YOU HAVE TO TREAT THE WHOLE CLASS TO BUTTERBEER I THINK WE DESERVE IT AFTER THESE THREE YEARS OF CONSTANT YELLING
nobody was as SHOCKED as your moms
“y/n, baby, i know i did not just hear you say you’re dating the oikawa kid. repeat that for momma again.”
“i’m dating the oikawa kid.”
like?? MOM THIS WAS TECHNICALLY UR FAULT
“so toru, what did you wanna tell me?”
“i have a girlfriend now! her name is y/n l/n.”
“l/n? surely not THAT l/n’s daughter, right?”
“oh it is that l/n.”
when your families have dinner together for the first time
THE TENSION LMFAO
but they do try hard to get along. they try super hard.
they start getting along because MAN YOU AND OIKAWA WERE SOO CUTE AND THEY WANT YOU TO GET MARRIED AND THEY HAVE TO GET ALONG IF THEY WANT IT TO HAPPEN. THEIR GRANDKIDS ARE GONNA BE SO CUTE!!!
“ma, we haven’t graduated yet-”
your mom, ignoring you: THEYRE GOING TO HAVE THE CUTEST HAIR
oikawa’s mom: AND THEY’RE GOING TO BE SUPER SMART LIKE THEIR PARENTS!
your mom: AND WE’LL BE THE BEST GRANDMAS.
momma oiks: PERIOD!
steals your books from you in the halls so he can carry it for you
you tease each other with pet names and shit???
he’ll try to kiss your cheek in the hall but iwa grabs the back of his robe and pulls him away “you’re gross”
“you’re just jealous iwa!!”
when your houses arent playing each other, he goes to your games and vice versa!
tries to distract you in the field
“hey beautiful”
“toru don’t or i will make iwa knock you off your broom.”
“you're so mean”
so anyways yall r couple goals
"listen well, kindaichi, kunimi, your senior is showing you how to get girls.”
kunimi, without looking up from his book: what are you gonna teach us? accidentally slap the girl and get her to hate you for three years while you secretly pine over her during that time before confessing that you liked her the whole time and you go out on five dates and officially start dating? too much work
oikawa: LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT
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faorism · 3 years
Text
needing the au to drop wherein i can commit to writing a historical au,, because since i first watched the db cooper job my mind went straight to OT3! OT3! OT3! (unlike with the van gogh job, since i aint playing with that fucking lieutenant)
one day maybe one dayyyyy i will sit down and i will write the ot3 into that episode's story. so, it'll be the backgrounds for the characters in the flashback (so, stephanie ritter, steve reynolds, and reggie wilkins), but with the necessary personality adjustments (parker, eliot, and hardison respectively). basically, vintage ot3 with some hot as hell aesthetics and secrets and avoiding as much as possible producing copraganda.
so. my thoughts. what i see happening. and this got super long so im throwing this under a cut. and for ease i will call them by their modern day canon names except when making a point.
first, general thoughts about the characters.
and so: steve to eliot. nothing much here on the surface. eliot still volunteers, too much an indoctrinated white man to have been forcibly drafted. so its still one man gone to war. one man come back. eliot would had been noticed early in training for his ability to pick shit up, and they teased at maybe sending him to a special unit. maybe they do, or maybe they don't because they just need to funnel fuckers to the jungle. the vietnam invasion was a terrorist imperialist venture and there's no romanticizing from me about anything done being at all valorous or special or brother-in-arms'y. and eliot commits war crimes under the american stars and stripes instead of just to keep moreau's champaign running. but also maybe moreau is eliot's superior. he certainly would have been rewarded for this ruthlessness. (eliot of course strove to impress moreau because there aint an eliot spencer who wasn't that man's dog at some point, i!!!! dont make the rules). eliot's friend died and eliot's gone off to carry out his wishes and moreau lets him because he Knows eliot is gonna come back. whether its to come back to the same squad, or follow him into deeper spy shit for the military, or to fuck off and go private. then eliot meets parker.
now. stephanie to parker. beth plays normal so well im mad at her, but there's something edgy and strategic about stephanie that i think parker can grab onto. i feel that maybe she was kind of a thief still, but there's more realism to this world so archie wasnt a super secret spy with lasers to practice with, but just a guy with sticky fingers whos a little bored and wants a protege. parker is good really good at what she does, and not having to deal with lasers makes me easy. but she's into scams that are less grifts and more Catch Me If You Can slight of hands. she's always looking for easy money (she was into lifting cars at one point! literally she follows where the crime is). she's doing something in an airport and someone tries to recruit her as a flight attendant because she's got the Look. and yall, flight attendants? that shit was like being a model and an astronaut and a time traveler back then. and according to a teacher i had, who once worked as in the f.a. union, those ladies back in the day were rad and queer and free spirited and runnnnning shit. i think, yes, it's a Job which i think we might resist placing parker into. but! of the jobs, at the time, i really see her rocking it during the time period. (also come on, the opportunities to swindle distracted people of their shit would be endless. they would just think they dropped their stuff in the airport! not that it was stolen.)
finally, reggie to alec. i think hardison will be the hardest to translate. even tho i admittedly listen to a lot of true crime podcasts, i dont know much about fbi life and also definitely don't know about it historically. part of me desperately wants to put him somewhere else even if it does have to stay within the fbi. i might cheat and make him like a Q(uartermaster) to 007/00s like in james bond, and he's like UGH this is horrible god i hate working for the fbi but they will give me funding so...... anyway, here's this totally cool [radio term]. that said, if hardison is stuck in the fbi, why he ends up there is that he is a fucking savant when it comes to research and the man can put together a presentation like no one else. that white man gets all the credit for profiling but it was hardison who goddamn was the google of the microfilm days. reggie felt super square but that might be because he had to deal with mcsweeties db cooper shit day in and day out for years. hardison is more himself. and definitely still a nerd. alec would be into dime fantasy novels and comics and ham radios and oh god he also would be into star trek like the original star trek as it came out and he would be into the zines yes! yessss. omg. also he plays a mean arcade cabinet. but he's mostly well adjusted but lonely. his colleagues dont appreciate him because fbi esp during that time were fucking wilding out and racist as hell aaaaaand im sorry im srry im trying so hard to have fbi hardison make sense but also! acab. ANYWAY.
second, the relationship
i think it would be fun to play with what it means to have parker/eliot start off first and bring in hardison afterwards. (if white collar is your thing, it would be like this canon divergent ot3 fic wherein peter burke is the last to join in.) i feel they would be Super Intense esp since they are carrying this big ass secret. kind of broken and dysfunctional and there's the passion and the commitment, but i think there's also a tenderness that's super hard for them to achieve? and i think there's a way that hardison plays such an important part in who they are and how they are. like, sure i think parker/eliot would have joy but they won't have levity. they would have compassion but they won't have gentleness.
eliot meets hardison after being recruited by nate. i think they get close because while nate and eliot have an interesting and compelling mentorship/friendship, nate is still eliots superior; sometimes its nice to complain about your boss, as hardison will say to eliot to try to make friends. i think hardison and eliot would become legit friends and not just work buddies because they are just not cut out of the same cloth as the rest of their colleagues. they grab beers after work. after hard days, hardison cajoles eliot into going to the arcade. they are friends. real real truly deep best friends, in a way hardison didn't think he could have with a fed and eliot didnt think he would have after his friend died. but also? they are like "buds" who are buds who are desperately tryna to cross any lines because there's a.... tension? an UST between them they dont know what to do with.
parker meets eliot by way of a "lets have my friend for dinner, he's a blast." and immediately immediately hardison is like... wow this woman is beautiful but like, really attracted to her personality. and parker things hardison is kinda dorky but cute dorkie? anyway, they have a puppy love situation growing. and it keeps growing until bam. eliot and parker are like. are we into alec???? fuck we are aren't we.
i think stephanie and steve would never tell reggie (even if somehow they were to be a thing). but parker and eliot? hell yeah they tell hardison. eventually. after a while. sooner than maybe they should. the tension if they should say something is one of the things that build up as UST between them for so long; parker and eliot know they are carrying this huge thing. two huge things. eliot being db cooper and also their massive crush on him.
if i could control myself to stick to a pwp, it would be another christmas. maybe the christmas nine (more?) years down the road. the damn snow grounded hardison's flight back to his nana's, and parker and eliot hear this and invite him over. the egg nog gets flowing and parker eventually is like,, fuck this. and comes onto hardison. and hardison would be like wow wow what but... idk, free love and swinging were In The Thoughts And Minds Of The People. he still checks in with eliot who is like. her body, man; i aint gonna tell her what to do. and for a sec hardison is like, man is this a cuck situation? i guess i can be for it but also...... aint mad if i aint alone. and eliot is so grateful and idk. i just want them all to be happy and having fun and no one to be left out. and yeah i am kinda brushing over a lot of the racial politics which, in a more developed fic rather than a pwp, would definitely need to be brought in; but idk that needs to just be in the bedrock of whatever plot is going into this.
it takes a lot of maneuvering of their lives but they make it work and eventually hardison is a keeper of eliot's secret too.
(apart from the historical aspect, another reason i probably won't actually write this is because i know myself. i would want to do worldbuilding. i would follow eliot and alec to their jobs, but i wouldnt want to write outright copaganda. the grit/realism i would be comfortable with would take a level of research i dont think i can commit to. but if someone wants to take this up or if you figure out a way around this issue, pls do i wont be mad)
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zmayadw · 3 years
Text
Evening to all :)
Time for the next part :)
Have a nice evening :)
CALL OF THE RAVEN
PART 10
I woke up with a terrible taste in my mouth. I had no clue what time was it, but the sun was out already, making me squint my eyes. I got in sitting position slowly, banging in my head intensifing with every move i made. Ugh, i'm never drinking again, i scolded myself. Squinting, I focused on the little alarm clock that was on the night stand. 10.34. Whoa, i cant remember the last time i slept this long. I got up from the bed and went to the bathroom. I filled the glass with wather, rinsing my mouth a few times before gulping down two glasses. My stomach growled at it, i just hoped not to throw up .Taking a shower would be a wise thing to do, so i just threw the clothes i had off and entered the shower. The warm water felt good, i just let it pour over me for a while. I wrapped myself in the towel taking some painkillers for the headache. Getting back to the room, i dressed up, and sat on the bed. I felt a bit better, but still not enough. Coffee, i tought, thats what i need now. I got up, going for the purse i threw on the floor when i got in, searching for my phone. Shit, i cursed, it wsnt there. I checked every pocket, even Jake's hoodie, but my phone was nowhere to be found. Crap, i probably left it at a the Aurora last night, when Jessy and me wer taking pictures. Or at lest i hoped so. Well, i was going for coffee, so i could stop at the Aurora eitherway. I grabbed my backpack with drawing stuff. Who knows, i might be up for some drawing, no matter I still felt woozy from last night drinking. I putted my sneakers on, grabed my stuff and car keys. Walking wasnt an option this time, i wasnt feeling well enough for it.
When i parked my car infront of the Aurora, I saw Dan's car was still there. I smiled as i left the car, guess i wasnt the only one sleeping late today. I hoped Phil was there already, and my phone too. I entered the Aurora, relieved at the sight of Phil behind the bar. I was washed with the smell of coffee, and as i neared the bar, I pleadingly said to him, sitting on the stool „Please, please, please, tell me i'm not wrong and that is coffee i can smell.“ Phil turned arround , not noticing me when i entered. He grinned at me „You are most definitly right! Would you like some?“ „Yes, pretty please.“ I said, as i putted my hand on the bar, and leaned my head on it as on a pillow. Phil chuckled at me „Want any sugar with it? Or milk?“ „Yes, please.“ I replied, and he vanished through the storage doors. He returned with a big cup of coffe putting it infront of me. I rised my head, took the cup, taking a deep breath of its smell, before taking a big sip of it. „Thanks, Phill, you're my saviour:“ i smiled at him as i settled it back on the bar. „Here to help.“ He said, winking. „Rough night?“ he asked teasingly. „Oh, i dont know how you can be so cheerful.“ I started „I feel like a truck hit me lastnight.“ He laughed „Practice to perfection.“ „I think i would need years of practice to be even close to that kind of perfection!“ i said, making a skeptical face. He smiled at me „So, to what do i owe the pleasure?“ he asked. „Dont get me wrong, im glad to see you“ he said, that devilish spark in his eyes again „But i doubt you came just to see me.“ „You caught me.“ I said, even tho it was nice seeing him. „I was hoping that i might have left my phone here yesterday.“ He shook his head at me, crouching down searchin for a few seconds under the bar, giving me my phone as he got up. „Better be carefull next time, good thing i noticed it as you left.“ „Yay, thanks Phil, again.“ I told him, giving him a big smile. „I owe you big time! Both for the phone, and coffee.“ His phone rang then „Sorry business calling. Be right back“ he said, answering his phone and going through the storage door. I checked my phone with him gone, finding out few missed calls and messages from Jessy. She was worried i havent answered her jet, so i decided to call her while waiting for Phil. The tone barely sugested it rang when Jessy's voice boomed from the other side. „Finaly! Do you know how worried i have been? Are you allright? Where wer you? Why didnt you answer me before?“ It made me smile a bit, her worrying for me like that was so sweet. „Im sooooo sorry Jessy“ i said pleadingly „I left my phone at Aurora last night, i just got here to get it.“ Phil returned at that point, and i mouthed to him 'Jessy's' name, indicating who i was talking to. Her voice boomed again, and i moved my phone a bit from my ear, wich made Phil laugh. „Ofcourse you did! Its no wonder after all the whiskey you had! Dan is still sleeping like a log! You two really had it last night!“ „Aww, Dont be cross, Jessy.“ I started pleadingly again „I promise next time we wont over do it.“ Phil was grining at me now, and i stuck my toung at him, trying to calm Jessy down. „C'mon, you cant tell me you didnt have some fun yesterday.“ I started „I have some pictures on my phone as a proof of it.“ Phil threw his thumb up, showing me i said a good thing, and i grined at him. „Alright, i admit last night wasnt all that bad.“ Jessy started, sounding calmer now „But you're still not off the hook completly.“ „Thanks, Jessy“ i started, grining as a sign of victory to Phil. „You can scold me some more at lunch, if the deal for it still stands.“  „Ofcourse!“ Jessy cined cheerfuly from the other side „Dan will be a sleep for God knows how long, and im already bored here.“ I quickly moved my phone from the ear checking the time. „Its 12.20 now, when do you want us to meet?“. „I'll meet you around 14 at the Aurora. I doubt Phil will mind you hanging there with him till then.“ She replied, teasing me. „Somehow i think you're right.“ I said, looking at Phil with a devilysh smile. „Cya later, Jessy.“ I sadi, lovering my phone. Phil looked at me,a bit confused „Wat was that about?“ „Oh, just Jessy being Jessy.“ I told him, grining. „Fine, fine, be all mysterious.“ He teased me. „Awww, c'mon, you wouldnt find me so interesting if i was an open book.“ I told him, smiling sheepeshly. He looked at me, with that intensifing look again, making me feel heat spreading through my body „You're not wrong about that.“ Crap, what are you doing again, Maya, i scolded myself. Phil was definatly into me, and i was toying with him like this. It really wasnt my intention, i didnt want him to get the wrong impression about anything. But it felt so easy for me, talking to Phil, compared to Jake. Why does all have to be so tough and complicated with him? It feels like walking on egg shells every time im with him: dont do this, dont say that. Shit, it shouldnt be that way, should it? Was i really that much into Jake? Blah, i dont know anything anymore. I wish he would be more open with me, it would make things so much easier. I was lost in my toughts when Phil finaly snaped me back to reality „Maya? You allright?“ I looked at him, shaking my head,  to clear it from all the 'Jake' toughts. „Yeah, sorry.“ I started „Guess the coffee didnt kick in properly yet.“ Phil looked at me, and i could see he didnt really belive what i told him, but decided not to take the matter any further „If you say so.“ Was all he said. I smiled shyly at him. „Do you mind if i just hang here for an hour or so, before metting with Jessy? I dont feel up to driving back to motel, and the coffee isnt bad here either.“ I tried, smiling, waving my empty cup at him. Phil looked at me, rising one of his eyebrows, and smiled devilishly „How could i say no to a beautifull woman?“ He took my cup, winked at me vanishing through the storage doors. I could feel my cheeks flushing again, and my heart beating faster. Shit, shit, shit..
When Phil came back with another full cup of coffee i asked if its ok if I sit at one of the booths, to wich he said  fine, since he did have some work to be done. I took my stuff and coffee setteling at the booth. I had a bit over an hour before metting with Jessy, i hoped some inspiration for work might come to me. I took my stuff out of the backpack, took my sneakers off, sitting with my feet up on the booths perch. I liked drawing like that. Leaning my drawing pad on my knees i tried to focus on my work, but my toughts just kept wondering off.  I tought about Phil, sneaking glances towards the bar. He was good looking, always nice to me, even tho everyone warned me that he was a 'no good' considering women. He never showed any sign of it towards me. He was easygoing, i enjoyed his company, we definatly clicked. Then there is Jake. I was definatly drawn to him, cant deny that. When im near him, it feels like when a moth is drawn towards fire. Cant fight it, its driving me crazy. But nothing with him is easy. Its like taking one step forward, then not one, or even two, but ten steps back. Its so frustrating. And with all that had happened, i feel like all the progres we had was completly gone. My head was still too woozy for thinking of stuff like this. I setteled my drawing stuff down, taking my coffee, leaning back in the booth. Maybe Jessy would have some advice fore me. Two heads are smarter then one, or so they say. But i should definatly talk to Phil, at least try to explain things to him. I dont want him thinking im giving him some false hope here. As if he could sense my toughts, he turned around, took his coffee and walked towards me. „Mind if i join you?“ he asked, and i smiled „Ofcourse i dont. I guess my inspiration is still sleeping, so no work to be done at the moment.“ He grined „Thats good for me. I can have the pleasure of your company for some more then.“ I chuckled at that, siping some more of the coffee. But i tought again about talking with him about everything.  My face must have gotten some serious expression, 'couse Phil looked at me a bit serious, before asking „Whats bothering you, Maya? I have a feeling you want to talk to me about something.“ I looked at him, those deep eyes of his gazing intensly at me, trying to dig up my toughts. „I do.“ I admitted after a moment „But to be hones, i dont know how to start .“ „Well, just do your best.“ He said, and i started to get the feeling of a knot at my stomach again. „Allright.“ I said, but the words didnt come easy after that. „I like you, Phill.“ I said finaly after a moment of silence. He chuckled „Ok, thats a good start.“ „Ah, but that was the easy part.“ I started „Now comes the tricky one.“ I could notice him tensing a bit, like he knew where this might lead to. „Ok, go on then.“ He said. „I enjoy your company, talking to you, its so easygoing. I feel we clicked, that theres some 'spark' between us, and i know you noticed the same.“  „You're right about that.“ He replied. „But..“ i started, and Phil interupted me, sighing „Ahh, there it is, the famous 'but' part.“ „Please, Phil, just let me say what i have, then you can hate me.“ He looked at me, his face getting a soft touch „I couldnt hate you, Maya.“ „Dont say it untill im not done talking.“ I said, a bit sadness creeping to my voice. „Alright. Please, continue.“ „Ok. As i started earlier,i like you, but i dont want to get your hopes up.“ I settled my coffe on the table, my hands fidgeting with the cup. Why was this so hard? „Shit, Phil, im a complete mess at the moment.“ I started „I myself dont know what i want, and its tearing me up inside. There is someone, and i dont know where I stand with him. And i dont want to start something new, if im not a 100% sure that its the right thing, that its something i really want. With no loose ends catching up on me.“ I looked up at Phil, him still not taking his eyes off me. „Am i making any sense to you here?“ i asked, lovering my head. I really didnt want to have this conversation, but that was me being honest. All of a sudden, i could feel Phil's hand covering mine, and i looked back up at him. He still had that softness written all over his face. „I appriciate your honesty, Maya.“ He started „Now let me be honest also.“ „Ofcourse“ i said „I expect nothing less.“ „Good.“ He looked at me more serious now. „You know i like you, you said it yourself. I dont know why, but i felt drawn to you the moment i saw you. Theres something in you that makes a man bedazled by you, i cant explain it differently.“ He paused for a moment before continuing. „And i get it, you dont want to get into something half hearted. And i applaud you for that. Because, if anything was to happen between us, i wouldnt want it that way either.“ He looked at me now, his gaze intensifing again, and i started to feel that heat again. „If it was to happen“ he continued „I would prefere if you wer in it with every inch of your body and soul.“ I was mesmerized by his words. He was so open with me, the words came so easy to him. Why cant it be like this with Jake. „Allrighty, that was pretty honest there.“ I said finaly, making an aqward smile. „You wanted me to be honest.“ He said, adding „And just so you know, im not going to make it easy for you.“ He looked at me now, with that devilish spark in his eyes again. I looked at him puzzled „What do you mean by it?“ He grined at me „Its like this: i will continue to act like i did so far, and you can do the same, cause, lets face it, we both like it.“ His grin widened, and i smiled back at him. „Good, you get me. But, until i get a confirmation from you about freely taking it a step further, i will do whatever i can to maybe, just maybe, help you feel a bit less messy and steer thigs in my favore.“ „And what if it wont end as you hope it would? Can you be ok with just being my friend?“ i asked him. He looked at me for a moment, before answering. „Honestly“ he started“i cant say i wouldnt be dissapointed, a little hearth broken probably, but i would respect your choice. And yes, Maya, if that would be so, i would gladly be just your friend.“ “Thanks, Phil, i appriciate all you said.“ I told him „I was kinda affraid of having this conversation with you.“ „You, affraid? I cant belive that“ he said, teasingly „Belive me, i was scared as hell.“ I said, adding to it „But im glad we had it. I didnt want it to become aqward between us at some point.“ „Not gonna happen.“ He said, winking at me. I smiled „Shit, you know, even thou i had enough yesterday, i could actualy use a drink right now.“ Phil lughed so hard „Awww, you really did get scared. We are in a bar afterall, you just say the words and ill bring you that drink.“ He said, looking at me with one raised eyebrow. „Only if you join me“ i said, grining at him „ And if you dont tell Jessy about it.“ He got up from the booth, smiling and winking before he left for the bar „Deal!“
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aprito · 3 years
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hello <3 since i got these asks at the same time i decided to combine my thoughts on them in this post. yet another annoying sjw essay from yours truly on this blog 
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before i get into these i think i need to preface why im like. i guess overly hyperfocused on a certain unproblematic base (same age au / platonic canon) for them and avoid the ped0philic content like the plague lol
tw for pedophilia ment, rape ment if that makes you squicky. ALSO THIS IS LONG AND RAMBLY
as i’ve mentioned a couple times already, ive been into the ship since i was 12, back when it was very very common to not only post untagged (nsfw) canonverse content of the two in writing and in drawing but also non con and the like, so you can imagine how bad my first impression online was. thinking back on it ...as a child i found it disturbing but didnt really register how problematic it really was?? (i know, but i also lived in the middle of nowhere and had no one explain this to me) 
skip to 2014 aka me coming back to naruto at 17ish and i had kinda become hyper aware of the fact that there was an increasing amount of people online who had come forward with explaining how fictional problematic content, mostly pedophilia, had been used to groom them into starting relationships with adullts. it was also a time where a lot of people didnt believe these victims, not registering how common it was for minors to be online friends with adults who had no boundaries and no qualms exposing them such content. not gonna get into my personal life here but i was lucky to not having gone through this myself. like... it kinda was my first time truly realising how fiction can EASILY be used to manipulate others irl (and yes i will not argue this, if you dont think fictional media can form and manipulate people’s opinions on attitudes, countries, cultures and virtues, pick up a book about the effects of propaganda media at least once please) 
i, being young, still liking the dynamic but not really the romance, would point this out here and there in the fandom and get into fights with grown adults in their mid 20s who assumed i automatically hated the ship(s) and tried to restrict their freedom of speech or whatever, heard everything from the “age of consent doesnt exist in naruto” to the “sasori looks like a child what does it matter” despite people clearly playing on him being older and experienced. it made me so upset that people were just consuming all this content uncritically and exposing children to it tbh?? not really just sos but a lot of minor/adult ships in naruto in general. and thats where i sat down and thought, i do not want to be a grown adult talking down to children that point out how unsafe the fandom is. theyre absolutely right in drawing these boundaries and calling out adults who defend the uncritical consumption and creation of this content. i do not want to consume or create content that predators could use to groom minors, and i absolutely do want to let younger people in fandom know that i am respecting their comfort zones and want them to have a safe and fun experience. after all, naruto is not an adult show and i think a lot of people forget that!!!! i am not perfect in that regard but its something that i, at the age of 23, am very passionate about and strive towards to.
and i guess thats where same age au was born for me and i have been sticking to it ever since. 
so finally we can move to the first question 
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aside from the fact that we both dont like canon sos, i dont think it would work out even if i wasnt prejudiced to it anyways. in all honesty, 35 year old canon sasori is not a redeemable character to me, given the fact that he’s easily amongst the cruelest villains in naruto (torturing and killing and taxiderming people for his own fun personal gain, never for a goal that served anyone but himself. how do you redeem having over 300 corpses in your backpack that you felt absolutely no remorse for killing). sasori was legit one of the only cruel villains that didnt had someone else pull the strings, which sends a clear message on kishi’s part, who absolutely loves to redeem villains LOL.
being that old, he obviously had already been very manifested in what he believed in, even if it was shakey, to the point where the first crack in that world view (sakura and chiyo protecting each other) immediately had him give up on his life all together. that, in my opinion, is not a man who’s going to know what healthy relationships would look like, regardless of it being romantic or not. 35 year old sasori to me has the same appeal as an expired can of tuna and he’s probably very happy 6 feet under. he’s supposed to be a failed gaara in that sense that he had no one to look out for him and therefore was never going to experience anything but a bad ending in life. its fine that hes dead honestly, it wraps up his short character development the best IMO.
adding to that, seriously, sakura was obviously interested in knowing why he was that way, and called him out for being seriously fucked in the head, but it’s weird to me that people assume she had any interest in actively rehabilitating him, let alone starting a serious romantic relationship with him. sakura who’s not only very, uhm, immature and straight forward when it comes to her romantic viewpoints also, as a big bootlicker, wouldnt soil her standing in the village by starting anything with a disgraced and far too gone criminal like sasori. shipping that version of sasori with sakura intimately is still going to set her up for a huge power imbalance that would be difficult to handle imo, even if she was the one in the fight ultimately exerting her power over him. i would still look at it and think damn she deserves better than having to play therapist for man like that lol.
additionally, even if you ignored all of this, you cant really ignore that sasori had already known her as a child, and that had been his first and most impactful impression of her. i dont think that sasori would look at 35 year old sakura and see her as a grown woman and not the little green girl she was in the fight. plus, you easily fall into predatory comparison territory between the “childish” and “womanly” and i have seen way too often in fic just being boiled down to her now being fuckable. a lot of of ships do this and i would just like to remind yall thats it not normal for adults to want to start relationships with children they have seen grown up or known as a child when they themselves were fully grown adults. therefore, maybe if sakura hadnt met sasori before it would be less of a problem? but that also obviously defeats the point of the dynamic and the reason he died in the first place. so yeah, it sounds kind of doomed especially if you were to make it romantic. 
WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE SECOND QUESTION
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let me preface this that im not fundamentally against age gaps, even if im not super interested in it. after all, colorblind had a 5 yr age gap (with sakura being 21), even if, say, i wrote similar fics today i probably would make it smaller lol. i think it can be handled well if both parties have enough life experience to deal with it, and the author is cautious of where the age gap starts, i think a 10+ year age gap would be fine in a scenario where the younger party (i guess sakura) was at least 25-27ish, meaning she has completed most of her most formative life stages and probably had been in relationships before, meaning she would be able to handle it without having to fear a huge power imbalance. the older the younger party is the less the age gap is going to matter tbh .TsukiHoshino and AngelOfDeath10 both handle age gaps in their fics really well imo, so i do not mind reading about them.
unfortunately, a lot of people in this fandom think making sakura barely "”””legal””””” (18, not even 20 which is hilarious to me because the source material is obviously japanese) because they both cannot stand her being past her “prime years” of being young fertile and fuckable to much older men as well as thinking a 20 year old is automatically old enough to handle that type of relationship. ive seen a lot of unironic takes that believe it will absolve them of callout posts if they throw around age of consent and “shes 18 now suckers!!!” enough lmfao. absolutely hilarious. aging a minor up without aging the adult down seriously reeks of predatory “cant wait until youre 18″ narratives and thats why i find it similarly disturbing as straight up pedo shipping.
ultimately, sasosaku is and will always be a inherently problematic ship in canon, which is why i think it should always be handled a little more responsibly in fandom spaces, ignoring or outright excusing the main problem factor, which is sasori, isnt going to convince anyone that the dynamic in itself is well written and interesting enough to explore in aus, like giving sasori the redemption most of us wanted him to have by aging him down to a point in time where he was still realistically going to allow being positively influenced, similar to gaara. 
so really, what i think is well handled age gap and how most people handle age gap in the naruto fandom are two different worlds at times lol 
tl;dr
canon shippers have never been anything but gross when i was younger and i didnt wanna be like that, even if youre “smart”enough to differenate, actual creeps dont really care and might use your content to blur the lines, sasori isnt rly redeemable so romantic canonverse realistically wouldnt make much sense and is still iffy, age gaps are fine if they are handled well, but given that the dynamic doesnt really need the age gap to still work im not that invested on making that an essential part of my shipping experience.  
thank you for reading and hope this makes sense!
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hamliet · 3 years
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Do you think hawks is going to kill Dabi? Bevause nothing suggests that he is. Yeah he killed twice that wasnt his go to. He didnt wake up one day and think, "I'm going to kill someone today." That's not what happened. Nothing suggests that Hawks is this cold blooded killer. So why does it seem like your take is that Hawks is going to turn into this person whose going to go for the kill every time, when nothing suggests that thats his character.
I’m not sure why it seems like that’s my take, because that’s definitely not my take at all. I’m sorry if I gave that impression, because it’s not what I mean.
I’m going to guess you haven’t been reading this blog for a long time, because I’ve long been on the “Hawks has a sad role to play in the story” train. I’m talking about tragedy, not “Hawks bad Dabi good.” Hawks is no cruel cold-blooded murderer, but few are (Muscular, Moonfish, etc).
I’m talking about the same motives for why he killed Twice--which he felt bad about, but, like, he still did it. Namely, self-justification--the strong rigid belief you are acting in the best interest of justice and that there are little by the way of other options--and pressure from the hero commission. The hero commission may get that Enji doesn’t want to kill his son and subtly pressure Hawks to go after him; combined with Hawks’ personal (understandable) grudge against Dabi, and his desperate admiration of Enji--admiration threatened by, well, Dabi and his revelations (not actually: it’s Enji who’s trashed that admiration, but it’s also normal for people to project blame away from someone they care about/who means a great deal to them and onto someone else, even if it started as more a parasocial thing than an intimate relationship, as it is for Hawks and Endeavor)--all give Hawks more than enough reason in the narrative to do so. It’s not all that different than Shigaraki targeting All Might.
Hawks’s not going to sit there and coldly calculate murder like MUAHAHAHA; if he goes after Dabi, and I think the set-up and likely structure of the story makes this a fairly likely possibility at some point, it’d be for a variety of factors and none of which make him evil. An antagonist is just someone who tries to thwart the hero’s goal (likely, Shouto and saving Touya).
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freebooter4ever · 3 years
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Ref anon: I hope you can get help for that pain. Maybe a nerve is pinched? I'm really not sure about my future. I have a lot of hobbies but just work a shit customer service job. Getting motivation to do drawing at all is difficult let alone animate. Which is a great mental state to be in when my only plan for my whole life since childhood was animation. 🤷‍♀️
its tendonitis and im pretty sure the only way to get rid of it is to take a break from working which is obviously not possible so just gonna ignore it till i die i guess \o/
so yeah you struck a cord with me, this got long...
i cant help with motivation, i have too much of it. i lived with my grandparents for a year while grandpa was sick, and it was the first time they'd ever really seen me /work/ and even they were shocked. it really is constant - if i have twenty minutes and im not using it to draw its wasted time, you know? my first roommate here in LA was concerned too - she kept trying to get me to stop working and go out and back then my excuse was i didnt have a job and no money for going out, but really im just like that all the time. i try to balance it with seeing friends and social media and everyday shit like eating food, but its hard, my favorite people are the ones who will just sit and work with me lol! (or going out and working in places im not alone and quiet). i guess what im saying is...if its really your passion, is it not there all the time? i only ask because it took me a long time to realize that although i loved to analyze animation and watch it - the way i process art doesnt quite have what it takes to do that. we all love the end product, but just because the animation part is the most front facing part...doesn't mean that's necessarily where your actual passion might lie...if that makes sense? there's SO MUCH to do in the animation industry, its crazy. for me, i finally realized that all my obsessive energy revolved around character and especially faces, and i just started focusing on that. i would much rather be concepting a wide variety of characters than spending a whole year animating about one minute of a two hour movie.
that said there's also the sad reality that some people have had doors open more easily than others. i feel you about being stuck in a retail job you feel wasted in :( im sorry you are in that position. i hope you are able to make a change, but i understand just how fucking /trapped/ that can be. watching life slip by into nothingness while the tiny snatches of meaning only happen during off hours and scraped together seconds of free time. one of the biggest ironies though is that this is how a lot of original animators felt about dsn*y. i mentioned that on my road trip i stayed with the son of an animator who worked on snow wh*te - he wasnt one of the 9 old men but he was their contemporary and friend, and the animator took the job just to make money off his art. animation just wasnt his full passion and he eventually quit, moved up north, and started experimenting with helicopters and boe*ng lol. 
and in reverse of that, as i grew up with a father and a grandfather who worked for boe*ng and the US space program, ALL my open doors were flight and space related - my cousin currently works for N A S A and my other cousin for boe*ng - they took the doors but i didnt want anything to do with it. it took years for my grandpa to finally come to terms with the fact that my passion for art was as strong as his passion for airplanes. he grew up a farm boy daydreaming about flying, and had to take a circuitous route to finally get there - army, college, mechanical engineering, finally rockets. he gave my dad and me all the chances grandpa would have wanted as a kid - my dad took them - i didnt want any of it. i would much rather have had those chances that the animator got.
and then of course there are the institutionalized gates - barriers against entry for women, minorities, LGBQT, people without money...its a LOT to fight against. which is of course why we celebrate the exceptional people who DO break through those barriers and succeed despite it all. but it can be demoralizing to be on the other side of those barriers. demoralizing is too soft a word. i dont think there is a word for how much it can hurt.
some wisdom that might help: randy pa*usch's last lecture - he is a white male who definitely does not understand the race/sex 'walls', but he makes good points, and also he came at the animation industry sideways for very similar reasons - through education and research rather than the traditional job promotion route. and then someone closer to my own age/time: justin scar*ed - i dont mean his road trip videos, i mean the old vlogs from 3-6 years ago when he was 31 divorced and depressed and realizing he had to release himself from his own pressure of his music career. his quest for positivity is an interesting concept, and i sympathized with that feeling of your life taking a direction you didnt chase after but somehow ends up being the thing you were actually looking for the entire time. if you want a success story there’s always my favorite: steve aok*. he went against everything that was set up for him in life and still made it work ^_^ (of course of these three, guess who also grew up the rich kid lol). or norman re*dus who quite literally accidentally became a model and successful actor. im paraphrasing this horribly, but my impression was that as a teenager he was selling shitty cat paintings on the streets of paris - which sounds romantic but miserable at the same time - and then followed a girl to california, got a crappy job in a motorcycle shop, went to a party and yelled at some people from a balcony, landed his first stage role...and eventually created the character of daryl and finally got the chance to have his genius really shine. (sometimes i wonder though, if it was frustrating to end up being famous for acting rather than art which was arguably his true passion?)
i hope any of this helps, i am pretty exhausted lately so apologies if my sentences are incomprehensible in some parts. and you know, my DMs on here are open if you want to talk more specifically off anon <3 
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bow-wow-wark-wark · 3 years
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Hiii happy 4th hypmic anniversary, I know it's been like 3 days since the actual anniversary but *shrugs* anyways I wanted to answer the questions from this post to celebrate!! (This is going to be a long post lol, this just brings a ramble instinct in me)
1. How and when did you get into HyplMic?
I got into hypmic during the end of September/ start of October of last year, it feels like a lot of time and very little at the same time lol... so many people in the fandom have liked this for super long!! I got into it bc of someone I followed on twitter, they would talk about it sometimes and I was getting a bit sick of the music I listened too so I thought "why not expand my music taste?" Little that I know It was going to become the only thing I listened too lol. I also saw this like "a hypmic characther once said" video and I thought it was soooo funny I just had to get into it. I'm honestly surprised hypmic started in 2017 bc I was going through a god awful musical phase and knowing I could have liked it earlier in life amuses me (tho back then I thought anime was silly so it wouldn'thave happened either).
2. First impressions of the characters? Who stuck out the most?
(Another long one soz) I'm going to do most of them btw.
Buster bros: ichiro was the 1st chara I knew before I got into it, for a bit I had him mixed up with jyushi tho lmao. Tbh I didnt have a very strong opinion on him, I wasn't super into BB at the start 😅 same with jiro, I liked him the most, thought he was really cute. At the start I disliked saburo a bit lol, like he was just soooo mean and I didn't like that, also I wasnt a huge fan of new star at the start so I didnt like him bc of that either.
MTC: I had to fight a lot to openly like mtc, I felt a bit bad liking them at the start bc they're all like criminals and stuff lol. I have to be honest I think that at the start I didnt think about them like at all... the strongest impression here was Rio, he was my favorite also I thought jyuto was hilarious bc of the start of bayside smoking blues, I really liked his voice too.
Fling posse: ok so the moment I saw Ramuda I was like "this guy is evil as balls isnt he?" I was pretty right lol, I thought he was a child like saburo at the start bc hes so small, man fooled me there. I liked dice the most at the start, my 1st fanart is of him lol. I didnt have very strong opinions on Gentaro, I was surprised to find out his VA also voiced yamaguchi since I was a haikyuu fan if anything.
Matenro: Lol matenro was my favorite (still is), idk what was it but I saw all of them and I was like: great :D I dont remeber specific impressions tho.... It was almost like love at first sight lol. I remeber I really liked the fact that both hifumi and doppo had tips, I thought it was super cool.
BAT: ok so I also knew who kuuko was before I got into hypmic my actual actual 1st fanart was of him (I did it before I even knew what hypmic was like at all). I really liked him, I remember listening to gyara bam and being like "this guy rules so much", I really liked jyushi, as mentioned before I had him mixed with ichiro (they look nothing a like I dont even know how) I was super shocked to find out he was also a teen lol I was pretty happy. Not gonna lie I had no idea who hitoya was at the start (rip) I knew kuuko I knew jyushi but I didnt know him, I dont remeber being very big on him till like the dramas and getting more into hypmic bc before nothing nada.
Dotsuhon: lol I slept on dotsuhon for the looongest time, I literally only liked sasara, rosho and rei were just really there for me. Sasara was my favorite bc I loved his voice and tragic transitor gace me unrivaled latino vibes so he felt very close to me in a sense. I thought rei was a scumbag the moment I laid eyes on him.
3. Who was the first character you liked?
My 1st favorites before I found out about bat and dotsuhon where jiro and hifumi!! I really liked their voices and like over all attitude and stuff.
4. Which was the first Division you liked?
My favorite was matenro, they were just so cute and I liked how they were pretty chill and just had fun most of the time. Like how they tried looking all edgy and intimidating but they were all nice guys lol.
5. How have your favorites changed?
Not much lol my favorite is still hifumi tho know I have jyushi and Otome if were ranking on like top 3. I love all the charas now tho!!! Lol these are just my bigger ones. Division wise now my favorite is mtc, followed by bat I'm still a matenro stan tho!! All divisions have done some big growing on me so I love all of them anyways.
6. What was the first song you listened to?
The 1st song I listened to was battle anthem, I was super convinced it was the 1st hypmic song so I was surprised to hear it was division rap battle lol.
7. What's your favorite solo song?
Ghhhh this is so hard to choose... I actually like basically every single hypmic song.... if we're talking only 1t set that's easier to choose. Um that would be sensenfukoku, drops and champagne gold, I like all the mtc ones so I cant choose. Second set every single one is amazing so I cant choose either, tho at the start I disliked most of them somehow...
8. What's your favorite group song?
Ok at 1st i thought it was like an all division song but I just read it and it's just group song in general.... I love all of them but one of my biggest comfort songs is papillion so I'll say papillion. If were talking all stars songs that's easier tho: in no particular order its hoodstar (just heard the + ver and it slapped), survival of the illest+, glory or dust and hang out.
9. Which songs do you think are slept on?
Mmmmm I personally have no idea which songs people like more in general but I have seen a bunch of "my favorite hypmic moments" videos so I'll base it on that. I'll personally say any mtc song lol, in those videos theres always a surprising lack of mtc so yeah.
10. Do your favorite songs come from your favorite Division?
Yes, tho it's really no problem bc I like all songs😅
11. Objectively, who do you think is the best rapper?
I had never heard a lot of rapping till hypmic so I have no idea what good rapping is lol... I personally thinks everyone does a good job, I guess someone else can school me on that.
12. Which composers for HypMic do you listen to?
None... I honestly dont like know who composes which song.... I know very little about music and I dont look into it so I cant answer this one either.
13. If you had to get someone into HypMic with one song what would it be?
Oh :0 well I'm not very sure but if anything I think the way to go would be an all stars song bc you can get the feel of each division pretty good, then if they like that introduce them to other stuff. Of course this all depends on the person lol... my brother really likes strong songs so to him battle anthem was a good hook up... I quite personally would go for survival of the illest bc it has a good feel of the divisions and it's very silly which is a series staple.
14. Do you play ARB? Drop your friend code for people reading!
Nooooo I dont 🤧😢 I really want to but I dont think I would have space on my phone, besides idk how to download it, if you have to pay for it I dont have money and if it's only in japanese I'm learning at snails speed so I wouldnt understand it *cries a little* I have seen certain events tho, I find it funny.
15. What events are you hoping to see? What character combos do you hope will show up together?
Mmmm idk I have a post about but I'll love to see a sasara jakurai interaction, I'm pretty sure one has already happened but I want this funny man to interact with jakurai more. Some people mentioned that they would like to see more interactions between kuuko and samatoki and I agree, wheres that side of the mad comic dialogue line up? I'll also like to see hitoya and samatoki bc they're both into vintage stuff ish, like fashion wise so I think it would be interesting to see. Last I want a jyushi/jiro interaction idk of there's any but there needs to be I need them to interact!!! Or maybe saburo jyushi that would also be interesting.
16. Are you into any ships?
Yes!!! I'm a little shy talking about ships not going to lie so I don't talk about it too much lol. I like samajyu a normal amount, I also like ichikuu, jiroshi, hifudo and hitojaku. I like a lot of other ships too tho, like ot3 mtc is good so is fling posse tho my favorite is ramugen. Hypmic has a bunch of cute ships so it's hard not to enjoy most.
17. Do you have a yume/self-ships? Platonic or romantic.
Not really lol, I have considered reading self insert before but I always feel a bit embarrassed. If you do you're super poggers tho.
Ok I'll keep answering in another post bc this is getting super long and the next question is one I want to say a lot about again. Umm if you happen to see this and want to answer them too fell free to!! You can tag me if you want as well, I love seeing others opinions about like hypmic and stuff so feel free too. If you want to comment on something I said you're free to do so as well
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this is about the lynz drama
i didnt wanna write this post
when this shit first started i told myself im not gonna say anything about it cause a)i hate drama in any form and b)no one cares about my opinion
but today i got so fed up with everything ive seen on twitter that here we are
im just gonna kind of explain what happened and share my opinion i guess? and feel free to share yours in the comments as long as you respect other people
so everything pretty much started when someone asked lynz about people accusing jimmy urine of sexual assault
(first of all why would they ask lynz?like i know theyre in the same band but still shes not responsible for his actions)
her responese mightve indeed seem strange, like she was defending herself tho nobody attacked her and it overall felt kinda off
then the whole argument started (most of the tweets are deleted now so its kinda hard to find out what exactly happened)
so first thing im gonna adress is how everyone seems to be "cancelling" her for saying you shouldnt believe victims, but what i understood after reading all of her tweets was that she said always believe victims unless you know theyre a manipulative liar and i think theres actually nothing wrong with saying this? please correct me if you think im wrong but i dont really find this problematic (the tweets are at the end of the post!)
i know that the first tweet, the only one that isnt deleted seems really off and she defo couldve answer better and you can critize her for this but i think she thought the person who asked her was reffering to smth jessicka said which kind of explains everything
jessicka has been saying messed up things about lynz for years, so i think we can understand why she reacted in this way
now why dont i believe anything jessicka says?
because she always talks how she has "a proof" that lynz said/did smth but she never actually shows that proof
even now, when lynz mentioned her in one of her tweets she responded yelling about the proof but didnt actually say anything new
one thing ive learned while being in different fandoms and stuff is never believe that someone said/did something unless you have a video of them doing so or they confirmed it on their offcial account on social media
if she really had the proof, why dont just show it to people?
now the second big thing that happened was the whole family thing
people have been talking about her family situation for years (im more of a new fan so i wasnt here back then so please correct me if i make a mistake here or anywhere in the post)
what we knew before is that she cut off her mother and sister - she didnt want to talk to them nor send them money
her sister claimed it was because they arent rich or famous
now scroll all the way down again to see the tweets
her mum and sis recorded a video responding to this
now this is totally subjective opinion of mine, but i got really bad impression from watching their vid and things they said later on twitter (search for amy greene on twitter, youll find everything there)
now you can believe me or not, but i have experience with this kind of family situations
my opinion on the subject is that when it comes to family problems no ones really innocent but sometimes things get so messed up that you shouldnt really judge people based on that
we basically get two sides of the story, and i believe that both of them probably got some things right, but im gonna stay on lynzs side
i 100% understand cutting off fanily memebrs, even as close as your mother and after watching this video i felt really sorry for lynz (again its just my opinion, but the things they both said about lynz reminded me so much of the situation from my family)
ive seen a lot of people bringing up that they said nice things about gerard, so they must be telling the truth because if they wanted fame theyd go after him instead or smth like this
i disagree with this opinion because its once again a behavior i know
noone said anything about gerard before
the whole thing was only about lynz
so why would they even bring him up?
well imo if their intentions were clear they wouldnt say anything about him at all, because what for?
if they said anything bad about about him all of the fans would attack them, get mad, and maybe not believe the rest of their story, so it was in their interest not to talk shit about him
but why did they say nice things? (ITS JUST MY OPINION PLEASE IM NOT SAYING I KNOW IT) 90% of people who would watch the video are mcr fans. and what is the best way to gain someones trust? be nice to them. say nice things about their idols, interests etc, its a known trick and its really manipulative. again i dont want to accuse them but it just seemed really off to me, and it also makes lynz look even worse, like if theyre trying to say that everyone here is nice and shes the only bad person around (yet again something i know really well)
so in my opinion they only talked about g to have mcr fans take their side and if its true its really manipulative but its just my opinion and i totally understand if you dont agree with me because i have no proof for this
i think this post is coming to an end so i want to say that i believe lynz is a good person
not a saint, not perfect, but not someone we should cancel or hate on
you have a right to dislike her, i understand and respect it, same with everything i said here - i accept that you disagree, you can write me a comment about it, just please dont spread hate
i hate going on twitter and seeing all of this drama
i havent been following her for a long time, i wouldnt even call myself her fan, but ive always seen her being really nice to fans on twitter and interacting with people a lot, well ive heard people talking about her being mean to fans in the past but i couldnt really find any concrete proof (video of that happening, im sorry but i really dont believe in posts from fan accounts from years ago)but im not saying it never happened, if you have a video feel free to send it to me
i doubt anybody read all of this, but thank you anyway
also here are the screenshots i could find
feel compeltely free to share your opinion in the comments, i sure will read it but im done with this whole drama
i just needed to get this off my chest after seeing all these people going crazy on twitter, im sorry if some parts dont make sense or have any kinds of mistakes, english isnt my first language and its also really late now
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