#i havent been working out in a while bc things happened but i am kinda always muscular and lean hashtag aries rising. but i have new goals

[ashmp3]

making a new workout split and drinking nettle tea and queueing stuff... Normal girl. My gym changed the work time and its making me suicidal but its the only close-only women gym near me so i will have to suck it up before i think of another activity... i saw there is flying yoga near me but the classes are always full boooo they hate my ass but also i love being good at everything so its good to weight lift before trying to enroll again

#i havent been working out in a while bc things happened but i am kinda always muscular and lean hashtag aries rising. but i have new goals #which are kinda polarizing so idk if i will be able to do it but whateva also when i say i havent been working out i mean in the gym #and i miss weight lifting i do shurrrrrrrggggggg #you know when u feel urself getting agitated at the smallest things like depression is at the bay kind of feeling i feel that atm #so ill have to figure it out im too busy for this right now Please #tt #on a positive note my nails are getting long again #me trying to be positive well take it

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#sometimes i feel very normal and then i interact with ppl lol #i had an in person meeting with my boss for the 1st time in ages and i usually talk to ppl while theyre driving or were walking somewhere #so i forgot how much im like obviously not making eye contact when ppl talk to me while hunched over and fidgeting lol #and when im trying to explain ideas to ppl abt like data stuff im like: i dont understand how what im saying doesnt make sense??? #also with a healthy dose of wtf is this person trying to say to me? u r saying words and i dont kno what theyre directed at #we had a lab party and im like v awkward at those things. idk how to interact in groups #ppl r interacting and im watching like u r clearly getting something out of this that i am not #i did maybe secure a place as a patient for one of our undergrads who is in the dental school lol #she was like yea i need 8 patients and i was like lol u can look in my mouth and then proceeded to tell her all the weird teeth problems #ive had. maybe that was weird but she seemed interested so 🤷 #i hope she follows up bc i havent been to the dentist in like 3 years #and i still habe my wisdome teeth #lol me at any party: i am waiting patiently until i can leave. #like its weird bc those r the time when ppl bond and make memories and all that but everytime someone calls back to events that ive been #there fore it baffles me bc im like. yea that was a thing that happened. i dont really have any feelings abt it so idk y u r recalling it #fondly??? plus my ears r kinda fucked so it was hard to focus on individual conversations #ay im so scatterbrained. thats what happens when u get little sleep and dont allow ur self to chill. ill just crunch myself into a lil ball #at least my boss tried to reassure me that id get accepted somewhere phd wise. but i will not relax until its official so rip #i just really want 2 specific schools to work out bc one is close to home and the other i can prob get good classes and opportunities #ugh i need to sleep. but im not tired :-P #unrelated

[stateswscarlet]

Good morning Scarlet, I hope that you're doing amazing!

First of all, I wanted to thank you for all the amount of time you put in explaining the law to all of us and seeing all those success stories, we all know how good of a blessing you are in our life.

So, I've been working on manifesting my ex back for a few months now, more than a year actually, and it's kinda embarrassing to me. I'm naturally a visualizer and have inner convos, but when envisioning scenarios like us hugging, holding hands, and being together again (what I've always done before knowing the law and being in love with him) it feels too good to be true, even if I have a deep understanding of the law conceptually. I know part of this process involves letting go of attachment to the 3D and recognizing that my outer feelings (anxiety, fear) and thoughts (how will he change his mind, he doesn't love u anymore) don't define my true self (the inner man that is being happy and in a rs with him). However, despite this understanding, I still encounter challenges when I attempt to engage my imagination regarding these scenarios. I often feel unfulfilled or disconnected from the vision of us being together.

Furthermore, I've been feeling doubtful about all that lately. Different sources offer conflicting advice - some suggest focusing on feelings, while others emphasize decision-making. I've even studied materials from authors like Edward and watched Tom Kearin (BSW), and while I understand the concepts intellectually and have applied them before with success, I haven't seen significant movement. The only time I experienced progress was when I wholeheartedly believed in my ex's return, even if I wasn't necessarily thinking from the end (focusing on the 3D aka he is going to come back). However, now, as I try to embody the version of myself with him already, I'm starting to lose faith in the possibility of him changing his mind and coming back. Have you ever experienced a similar struggle or doubt in your manifestation journey?

I feel maybe my issue is linked to the "feeling" that I do not understand, do you have maybe some recommandations in terms of source, or YouTube channel or else ? I feel like I'll never succeed in this specific manifestation while I succeeded in others for instance my job and travels... it was so hard for me too bc for more than a year I was jobless and so focused on that, that one day I decided I am going to get a job no matter what and not thinking from the end and it happened while I didn't focused on how I felt, I wasn't like "I need to feel I'm already employed", so I am lost in all of that ..

thank you so much for the kind words!

“working on manifesting my ex back” im really hoping you only worded it like this for simplicity sake to tell me, but please stop identifying with manifesting (at all) or seeing anything as a process bc there is NO PROCESS. there is no work to be, no point A or point B, and no one is coming “back”.

the reason you feel disconnected is because you’re still dominantly believing the 3D as a fact/seeing it as unchanging/dont understand youre SHIFTING TO A DIFFERENT REALITY/STATE and not changing the current one. figure out which one. in other words, youre being accidentally 3D oriented.

“i havent seen much movement” excuse me? wym movement? eradicate that word from your loa vocabulary please theres no such thing as movement. do you HAVE IT OR NOT?

stop looking for more material. no coach or video or book can change how you feel internally if youre just looking for results and refuse to completely drop the outer man and their reasoning.

your sp isnt changing his mind, you SHIFT TO A STATE where you and them are together. the one in the current 3D is NOT the one youre in a relationship with nor will ever be, you have to fully drop that version of him.

if just deciding you have something fulfills you, then so be it. do whatever you enjoy.

[thegrimreepurr]

anyway i have a silly guy i wish to share i don't think i've talked about him much at all to anyone except for my friends but i love him and i figured i should bring him into the world because i am normal about him so. his name is basalt he's a version of murder,, and so like.

basically, in my main 'au' of sorts, murder is besties with reaper [my reaper is nicknamed thanatos so yeah :3] because after he actually managed to beat the player [the player gave up 💀💀], he was just kinda. left alone in dusttale until thanatos showed up to reap the dead of dusttale :3 now usually, normal Guys™ can't see him but sometimes, rarely, those with high LV can and murder just so happens to have very high LV so he can see thanatos he sees him just like walking around and he's kinda like 'huh. that's sus,,,' bc he killed everyone and WHY is there a dude first he just brushes it off as a hallucination because he is VERY aware that he's insane and schizophrenic but then he keeps seeing him just about everywhere so one day he decides to check it out and he goes up to thanatos and is just like 'yo. dude. who tf are you' and then thanatos is obviously surprised that he's been noticed so he's just kinda like 'oh yea so uhhh,,, im the grim reaper or something,,,' and murder's like 'wha- so like. why are u here' and thanatos is just like 'doign my job' anywya blah blah blah they talk for a while and then thanatos leaves but then he comes back occasionally and every time, murder finds him and has a conversation with them and soon enough thanatos starts coming back even after he's finished his work and he becomes besties with murder :D but also like. thanatos doesnt go back to his au anymore cuz he's been coded out of it since he's away from it so often, but thats a story for another day anyway, they soon become like therapists for each other thanatos tells murder about interwsting things that happen while on the job and also about his relationship struggles [thanatos has SO much angst and i absolutely love him for it] and murder tells thanatos about how fucked up he is also there's an alternate timeline in which murder eventually gets cursed alastor cat as a pet but that is not in this timeline [don't ask, it was a silly thought my friend and i had bc my headcanon murder had a cat named alastor {THAT WAS BEFORE I WAS EVER IN THE HH FANDOM BTW} ] and so yeah they're therapist besties but then uh. thanatos dies [i havent figured out how yet, i will eventually]

and that's when basalt exists! so basically uh. murder was just kinda handed thanatos's powers and job and thanatos TOLD him this would happen if he ever were to die, since he basically has to choose an heir to hand his power to [and he has a shit ton of kids, but all of his kids hate him so he didn't want to put that on them] which this is how basalt finds out about thanatos's death and he's just kinda shocked because how the fuck does the grim reaper die buuut he eventually uh. just accepts it and becomes rhe grim reaper he has no friends until further notice im gonna draw him but i made him in gacha [yes i am a gacha kid, cry about it] anyway

his design is under the cut

he is a skele btw i just can't make skeles in gacha also im going to change his design bc i made it too colourful [it's a habit :,)] and too complicated in a weird way that i cant draw his outfit makes like zero sense even to me

#dustin says stuff #basalt!murder #dustin's blorbos #long post #he's so silly and i love him but i have beef with his design #i can never get him to look how i want him to #murder sans #reaper sans #reaper!murder #dust sans #reaper!dust #dusttale #reapertale #im gonna draw him soon tho i swear #hopefully pinterest can save me

[henriiiii-1001old]

coming back/moving blogs

hey, been a while, hasn't it? i hope you're all doing well! this is my official coming-back-to-tumblr post, but it's a little different than i had originally planned.

i've decided it would be in my best interests to move blogs after a bit of thinking. i feel like coming back here would just feel too awkward for both me and you guys, especially with my now deleted drama post. i just wanna move on from all this bullshit, especially since i've had do deal with a lot of other shit, including college.

it's still @/evrydaygets-darkr, just moved to a different account. i still like the name, so i'm keeping it for now. this account will still be up for archival purposes, but it will never be active again. i hope you understand. (EDIT: changed to @henriiiii-1001 bc of shit that happened w ak recently. see this for more info and this for my official statement on it)

as a general life update, i'm done with my first semester of college!! it's been kinda fun so far! i've made a couple friends here and there, and classes (except for math) were super cool!!! i loved most of my professors, and i am honestly excited for the upcoming semester! ive been artblocked to hell and back though, so i don't have much in terms of new art or writing, but i've been trying my best to get out of it. i also gained a new hyperfixation, which is project sekai: colorful stage (abbreviated as pjsk), so i'll probably be posting abt that quite a bit (btw my fav group is wxs and my fav character is tsukasa :3 ), specifically abt stats and achievements w like song completions, maybe some pulls too!

im also gonna put a few updates on aus and oc stories rq:

for my tmc aus: the big ones i'm working on are getting new masterposts and infodumps for the new blog. i would rb posts from this blog to the new one, but due to some personal stuff i don't feel very comfortable doing that. i havent been able to cook much lore-wise for any of them, but i'll probably get back into the swing of things once i start interacting w you guys again. - for specifically father's duty: i'll hopefully have chapter 3 done soon. it's actually been almost done for a while now, i just need to think of the ending. thank you to those who've stuck with me this far <3 (EDIT: all my tmc aus are discontinued. read above for more info)

for murder files: i'm gonna change up the pacing a bit because i feel like i was going a bit too fast with it. i wanna take my time with it and make it feel as real as possible. it might take me a bit to get fully set up bc im probably gonna have to plan a few steps ahead, which i've barely done. i just need time to plan everything out and draw some shit

i will try to post as often as i can to get back into using tumblr like a true tumblrina (even though i see theyve made some more disgusting changes so yay </3 ), though it'll probably take some getting used to.

i really missed you guys. i'll see you on the flipside.

-henry/thatcher

#moving blogs

[mugiwara--ya]

heyyy hi a little life/med update !!

ive been super super busy these past couple weeks w a ton of socialization etc and ngl i think i burned myself out lol last night after we got back home from a con (and the bar stop after it) i had a massive shutdown that lasted hours and im still reeling from it, but ANYWAYS!! med update med update wooo

so! on top of the lifesaving bupropion ive been taking all year & the eszopiclone for sleep i finally !! got put on something for my ocd, lets give it up for fluoxetine to join my beautiful, beautiful cocktail, mwah 💖💝💗💕💞💓

i know it supposedly takes a few weeks to fully Work but im already feeling a MASSIVE difference right off the bat, like yesterday i was at the mall and i ✨ touched the escalator's handrail ✨ i was literally so excited i kept looking at my hand going yoooooo im DOING it im making it HAPPEN like even my friends congratulated me on it kdsfjhakjg it felt silly but massive at the same time lol and of course i still immediately disinfected my hands but the important thing is that I Did It

and idk its like!!! i knew it was BAD like especially these past few months its been just. VIOLENTLY out of control but god the absolute relief ive been feeling is making me feel like i was still grossly underestimating it, it had completely taken over my life. right now its like, i encounter any random trigger and i brace myself for the anxiety spiral to come and then it DOESN'T and its so ??? like i still have The Thought but then i just go "ok" and dismiss it like an annoying notification and thats IT, while the last time i was on therapy i literally described my ocd as having hundreds of those cymbal-banging monkey toys of different sizes just sitting there in my brain Waiting and every single time i got triggered one of them would start losing its absolute shit - for example if im at the supermarket, on top of the everything about existing as an autistic person at the supermarket, thered be like a dozen of them constantly going ALERT ALERT CONTAMINATION CONTAMINATION EEK EEK DANGER DANGER BANG BANG BANG- and now the monkeys r GONE. get turned into mostly-dismissable phone notifs, idiots !!!!!!!!!

the only monkey im willingly keeping!!!!! is the low poly 3d model of monkey d. luffy constantly rotating in my brain <3 kfngskjdfs

also like i still do like, say, my cleaning rituals when i get back home, but idk i just. i feel Normal about it?? like calmly wiping my phone bc phones r Gross and not bc i literally see a green film of Germs And Various Pathogens enveloping it lol. anddd i havent been attacked by violent intrusive thoughts in a minute !! lets see if it stays that way. im generally super sensitive to medications too so im on low doses of everything and i wanna keep it like that lol so heres to hoping it keeps goin like this so i dont have to up my dose 8)

uhh thats about it ! having a bit of Personal Issues tm at the moment tho but im so relieved abt my ocd i kinda have the bandwidth to deal with them lol. i prolly jus need some sleep quiet and to not be perceived by anyone for a solid week.

in other lighter and unrelated news my queue is completely empty rn so it'll be just a liiiittle quiet around here for a bit but ! yeah. also i just watched the latest op anime episode and urhgrhghrghrgh it was so good hhh <3333 so yah if you read this whole thing i am giving you a little kiss on the forehead, mwah, hope you have a great week !!

#a lie. this turned into a long ass post lmfao #tw ocd #sol.txt

[dirtyeddietini]

wish you were sober (E.M. x Female Reader)

okay so I had this idea. I was very much in a Conan Gray slump for the past month, and I’m so in love with the ‘’Wish you were sober’’ and ‘’Disaster” songs. And idk if it’s just me? But I feel like they kinda go together? So I thought why not make an Eddie Munson fic based on them (Bc holy shit this dude has done something to me). So the “Wish you were sober” lyrics are kind of the Reader’s POV and “Disaster” is in Eddie’s POV? I hope it makes sense. Also pls be kind, english is very much not my first language and I haven’t written anything since my One Directions days (Which, those days are still not over let me tell you that). Also I hate dialogue?? So minimal dialogue for this one idk?? I’m thinking of making this into a series if people like it enough?? Like with a big time jump idk? I have a lot of ideas. But yeah, hope you enjoy ♡

warnings: alcohol, weed, two fools in love, very much angst??, not very happy ending, implied smut?? like mentions of it idk if heavy makeouts are smut??, unrequited love or so they think??, swearing, use of (y/n), idk if i missed any pls do tell me if i did, also me being an american but havent been there since i was born so i dont really know how america works so if anything is weird again pls do tell me, also idk when to fit this in the timeline of stranger things?? nobody really mentions vecna and everybody is happy and eddie is alive (if i go on with this series then this is fit like in their last year of high school i guess?? we’ll see)

I do not consent to my work being uploaded on any other platforms, translated or copied.

summary: You and Eddie Munson have a not so formal agreement. At the end of the night of every party, when alcohol doesn’t really do anything for any of you anymore - You switch it out for each other’s lips. But what happens when you’re a little bit greedy, and still want even more?

Word count: 3795

It was the first big party of the fall. The Halloween party, nonetheless. Pre-Eddie entering your life, Halloween was the only party you ever went to all year. Post-Eddie it was any and every party you could find, at least the ones you knew would be attended by the pretty, long haired boy. Sometimes you liked to imagine he felt the same. “this party’s shit, wish we could dip. could anywhere but here.”

‘’So, what are you supposed to be dressed as?’’ You drank the rest of your drink before hopping off the counter, giving Steve a twirl and showing off your very homemade witch costume. You’d have actually prefered to sit down, plan out your whole costume and find every piece so it would have looked perfect for the night. But between classes, your job and finding a very limited time to see family and friends, the season changing from summer into autumn hadn’t occurred to you. So here you were, in a little black dress with a witch hat you had bought for your first ever real Halloween party a couple of years back and some old jewelry sown lazily onto your dress. ‘’Well Steve Harrington, I am the wicked witch of Hawkins. Can’t you tell?’’ You said with a bow. Steve just chuckled and filled up his glass with cheap looking liqueur.

“nineteen, but you act twentyfive now. knees weak, but you talk really fly, wow.” ‘’He’s here, you know?’’ Steve asked while throwing a ping pong ball that landed perfectly in your beer. You just shrugged while you downed the beer, trying to look clueless as to what he was saying ‘’He asked about you when he arrived,’’ Steve continued while you tried aiming for just one of the 5 still perfectly lined up glasses in front of him, but missing yet again. You didn’t actually know how Steve persuaded you to play beer pong, knowing how bad you were. Maybe some liquid courage for the night ahead?

“ripped jeans and a cup that you just downed, take me where the music ain’t too loud.”

You didn’t know when or how you ended up on the sofa, surrounded by Steve, Robin, Nancy and Jonathan. Also it just didn’t really matter at this point, your only point of focus being Eddie, dressed as the devil (no surprise there, right?) talking to that pretty blonde. You know the kind of pretty blonde that actually had planned her costume. The one who actually took her friends out, found a costume (a whole costume, not just a random, forgotten dress on the floor of her closet). The kind of blonde Eddie would be proud to show around in town, not someone who only got to taste his lips when he had one too many beers. ‘’Earth to (Y/N)?’’ Jonathan said, waving his hand in front of your face. Steve looked at you with pity in his eyes, being the only one actually knowing who occupied your mind. ‘’Mmm?’’ You said, still looking at the scene in front of you, afraid that you might miss something if you looked away, even for a second. ‘’So, truth or dare? What is it going to be?’’ Robin laughed. You weren’t entirely sure you had ever agreed to the game, alcohol clouding your thoughts, but you had nothing else to do, right? ‘’I guess.. Dare?’’ You said with a sheepish smile, regretting it only mere seconds later. Not only because you were now sitting comfortably on the sofa, squished between Nancy and the coushions, kinda acting like a weighted blanket. Not only because Robin wore a devilish smile while she whispered something in Steve’s ear. No, also because your friends had seen you literally kill the pretty blonde in front of Eddie, with your eyes and that gave Robin a very good idea.

“save me ‘til the party is over. kiss me in the seat of your Rover. real sweet but i wish you were sober.”

It was the first Halloween you attended with the intent of actually partying. The other years where Steve had thrown his big Halloween parties and invited you, you were always sitting on the sofa, soda in hand while being the designated driver. You didn’t mind, alcohol or parties weren’t your thing up until that day (You know the day every teen gets? When they realize that life is just rushing by and they won’t have any fun stories to tell before they’re out of high school? Or was that just you?) Nevertheless, here you were at your first real (well, first real for you) Halloween party. The drinks were flowing (That was also the night you realized you were very much a light weight) Bodies dancing everywhere. You just needed a second for yourself, just to sit on the toilet to gather yourself. ‘’Hoooly shit, I’m drunk’’ You giggled to yourself. You stood up, ready to wash your hands but got a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. ‘’I looked so pretty when I got here, and now look at me’’ You pouted at yourself in the mirror. ‘’Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize anyone was in here’’ A voice said behind you, but you were all too occupied with your mascara to care ‘’No no, it’s fine. Come in. I don’t mind’’ You hiccuped, trying very hard not to poke your eye out with your mascara wand. ‘’I’m not really sure we’re that close yet, that I would feel comfortable using the toilet in front of you, pretty girl’’ You could see Eddie Munson coming up behind your back in the mirror. It was not that you didn’t know Eddie, your friends were his friends. It was just that he once let it slip to Steve that you were oh so hot, but how he wished you weren’t so boring. He wasn’t wrong, about the last part anyway. But there was one thing you and Eddie had in common, you just didn’t really care what others thought. So even though you had found Eddie pretty, fucking attractive, it didn’t stick with you that he thought you were boring. ‘’A penny for your thoughts?’’ He asked behind you. Guess you had a habit of zoning out a little bit too much. ‘’I’ll get out of your way, sorry.’’ You said, trying to grab the handle, but falling over your own heels. Eddie was quick to grab you, sit you on the toilet, pour out his beer from his cup and hand you the glass back with water.

And that's how the ‘’tradition’’ started. Nothing major happened that night. You were too drunk, and Eddie was a gentleman. You just sat in his van, talked about life, got a much needed (also a little bit too late) apology for his comment to Steve. Ever since then, the parties always ended up in his van. It didn’t take long until the passenger seat got abandoned for Eddie’s lap and curfew got dragged longer and longer into the night. But that was all that it was. Stolen glances at parties, long makeout sessions leading to always just a little bit more. And at first, that was fine. You weren’t really looking for anything other than a little attention. But as you got to know Eddie more, nothing was enough. Eddie, who had started carrying around a blanket in the van, just so you could snuggle under it when you got a bit too drunk and just wanted to talk. Eddie, who remembered that your favorite smell was vanilla (Also it was hard for him to forget, you basically bathed in your vanilla perfume every time you went to a party because one time, he said that you smelled really good) went out and bought a Wunderbaum so his car would smell like vanilla for you. Eddie, whose lips were just a little too soft to forget.

Anyway, that was only in the confinement of his van. At school things didn’t change, sure he would smile at you a little more, talk to you a little longer but until that alcohol hit Eddie’s lips, you felt like you didn’t really matter in his world. 

“pullin me close, begging me, ‘’stay over’’, but i’m over this roller coaster.”

‘’I dare you, to steal away.. One Mr. Eddie Munson’’ Robin said, with a proud smirk. You looked at Steve, hoping he would help, but all he could do was shrug ‘’Those are the rules, girly’’. Sure Eddie would go with you, having downed about 10 beers and had 2 joints.. Or at least you hoped so. But as you looked over, once again, the pretty blonde had her arms around his waist and Eddie was biting his lips looking down at her. You looked at Robin, one more time, hoping she would give you another dare, but she just slumped back on the sofa, smiling. You stood up, knees wobbly, straightening out your dress while trying to come up with enough courage to walk over there. You poked Robin’s cheek on your way out to the make-shift dance floor. You could feel all eyes on you, not just your friends, but also the people surrounding you. Honestly, at this point you wished the floor would swallow you whole. And then you came face to face with… Eddie’s back. You still weren’t sure what to do, how to get his attention.

‘’Hey pretty boy, I missed you. Meet me in your van in 10 minutes’’ You whispered in his ear. You were honestly disgusted with yourself. Why would you say something like that? When have you ever said something like that? Why the hell would you call him a pretty boy? You never called Eddie pretty boy? Also, at this point you were pretty tired of whatever this thing between you two was. How would the boy ever know about your feelings, when you said stuff like that? You cringed, and started walking out. Steve and Robin threw their hands up ‘’What the hell was that?’’ Steve asked. You just smiled and skipped out of the door. It was only when Eddie excused himself from the blonde and raced out of the door that Steve and Robin looked at each other, laughed and felt a little proud of their friend's achievement. “i’mma crawl out the window now. getting good at saying ‘’gotta bounce’’. honestly you always let me down. and i know we’re not just hanging out.’’

‘’Eddie.. Eddie, stop’’ As soon as Eddie got in the wan, he was pulling you on his lap, attacking your mouth with kisses ‘’What, pretty girl, isn’t this what you wanted?’’ He said, mocking you. I mean this was kind of what you wanted. Why you came. Only this wasn’t all you wanted, you wanted to arrive at the party with Eddie, not just leave. You wanted to plan cheesy couples costumes, not just arrive and accidentally match (Which this year, you didn’t. So.) You wanted to dance, kiss, and talk all night. Not just when you were in his van or when the party got too boring. ‘’A penny for your thoughts?’’ He asked, just the same way he did at that first Halloween party. You licked your lips, you knew what you wanted to say. You knew what you wanted. You also just didn’t want to lose this. Whatever this was. Because holy fucking shit, had Eddie swept you right off your feet and started your new adventure as a young adult. He cocked his head, while still wearing that smile you just wanted to kiss stupid. But this was the time you needed to stand your ground. When you had mentioned to Steve briefly that you weren’t in the most ideal situation with Eddie, he had tried to coach you in the way of admitting your feelings, in his words ‘’You don’t have anything to lose. So what if he doesn’t feel the same? You’ll stop wasting your time and find someone more deserving.’’ But what Steve didn’t understand, and what you didn’t feel like you could tell him was, that Eddie didn’t feel like a waste of time. No matter what this was, this thing going on between you two, didn’t feel like a waste of time at all. Eddie listened to you, understood you, made you laugh at any given chance. 

‘’Hey, you with me, baby?’’ Eddie started to grow concerned. You were just sitting on his lap, looking kind of hazed out while biting your lips. ‘’Y-Yeah. Just thinking’’ You said while playing with his hair, a nervous habit you had formed a while ago, which actually benefited both. ‘’Mmmh, about?’’ Eddie asked, while slowly starting to kiss down your neck. It took everything in you to not just shut off your thoughts and give all of you to that beautiful, doe eyed boy in front of you. ‘’Us’’ you said, almost a whisper. This made Eddie stop his actions, swinging his head back up to face you, while his grip around your thighs tightened. He almost looked like a man in love, you let yourself think for only just a second. There was an awkward silence after that. You weren’t sure if Eddie was waiting for you to proceed or if he had to gather up any confidence to say that there simply wasn’t an ‘’Us’’. There was you, and him and sometimes you and him just happened to cross paths. But there wasn't an ‘’Us’’.

‘’Yeah, and what do you think about, when you’re thinking about us?’’ He tried getting you to proceed. His tone didn’t give anything away. ‘’It’s just.. I’m just.. It’s..’’ You said, biting your lips. Come on. This isn’t so hard. You’ve told him about some of your hardest times, some of your darkest secrets and he didn’t judge you one ounce. Why was it so hard to get it out? ‘’I’m not sure I can do this anymore’’ You settled on saying that, still not giving yourself away. You started fiddling with his jacket. Not daring to look into his eyes ‘’Oh.. Okay. May I ask why?’’ He took your fingers, started to toy with them. This was his new nervous habit. Again, beneficial for both. ‘’I just.. I’m not sure this is enough for me anymore? Y’know? I don’t know if I can keep on pretending that this is good enough for me anymore.’’ You said, without thinking twice. The only thing you were trying to do, is to shield yourself and your feelings against Eddie. You didn’t wanna drop the L-bomb for him to not feel the same (Oh, not the love-bomb by the way. You may be head over heels for this boy, but you’re not quite sure that a few drunken kisses can lead to love.)

‘’ ‘Cause the potential of us, it was keepin me up all night long’’

While the turmoil was still going on inside your head, Eddie was beginning his own war in his mind. What you said, to shield yourself, twisted itself in Eddie's head. What he heard was that he wasn’t enough for you anymore, that he wasn’t enough. 

While Eddie didn’t plan on this to be an occurrence as often as it had been, he didn’t mind it. At first you were just the hot girl who could make him forget about his own misery once or twice a month. Eddie swore that at first he only needed company, no matter what or who that company was. It didn’t hurt that it was you, a sight for sore eyes. It made it even easier to forget his own life. But then those stolen, drunken kisses turned into Eddie swapping his beer for water, only for him to remember everything you said the next day, for not forgetting how you smelled so beautifully of vanilla, for remembering every tiny detail about you and lasty, just so he could see your drunken little dance as you walked up to your front door after he’d driven you home. He couldn’t exactly pin-point when he realized that this was no longer just a distraction. That this was actually the best part of the parties. That whenever he knew you were in the same space as him, he couldn’t stop looking to meet your beautiful eyes. 

“this could be a disaster, there’s so many factors. Like, what if you freak out and then we’re losin it all. At the critical chapter where I say I love you, and you don’t say it after”

‘’I’ll just drive you home’’ That was it. That was the best reply Eddie could muster up. He wanted an explanation, he knew he should have asked. He knew, deep down, that he must have misunderstood. But that little part of him, the little part telling him that he, Eddie Munson, was not worthy of love from such a beautiful, charismatic, clever young lady like yourself, won yet again. ‘’No, Eddie, it's fine. I’ll just get Steve to drive me home. You just go back to the party and we’ll just pretend this didn’t happen. Honestly it’s fine. Like I saw how much fun you had with that blonde girl, what is her name again? Oh it’s Amelia right? Yeah, Amelia. She is fun. And pretty. And well put together I really liked her costume. And also I forgot to tell you that I liked yours. Like those small devil horns? TO DIE FOR. Yeah, so I mean I guess I’ll just leave your car and then I’ll get Steve to drive me home, and then we’ll just see each other monday like nothing happened, right?’’ Another thing Eddie adored, your rambling. Whenever he’d push your boundaries, just a little, you’d just start telling him about your day. How Dustin had made a fool of himself in the cafeteria, spilling spaghetti sauce all over his white tee, because he was too caught up in telling a story. About how Robin made it a competition to see how many times she could make Steve fall in one shift at Family Video. But not this time. No. Because this time may very well be the last time he will ever hear you rambling, to him at least. This time you were all wrong. Letting your insecurities shine through, ones he himself had added to before he got to know you. And Eddie still cursed himself out for it, everytime he thought of it.

Yes, you did see him with Amelia. What you didn’t see was that he could not stop looking at you, behind her. Looking at how you looked so damn cute when you zoned out from time to time, how your smile grew wider and wider with every sip of your cup, and although Eddie would never really admit this to you - Or even himself. He kind of liked how you didn’t really look all that amused by Amelia. He let himself believe that you were jealous, that you felt like Eddie belonged to you. Because in all honesty, he did. Every fiber of his being belonged to you. You just had to ask, and he would happily, never ever look at another girl again.

‘’but if i’m reading it wrong, man, it’d be better off if i died, oh’’ ‘’Yeah, no. It’s fine. I’m getting tired. I’ll drive you home. I was planning on it, so it’s no hassle.’’ Why couldn’t he at least try to ask? Ask what you meant? Ask what you wanted? Also, why couldn’t he look away from your damn cherry colored lips? So plump, so delicious. But now in a very obvious pout. ‘’Y’know’’ Eddie said, starting the car. ‘’I like your costume too. It’s really pretty.. Your real pretty. You’re always really, fucking pretty.’’ At least that's something right? Kind of gentleman-like? Not a full on, love confession. But something. Maybe it’ll change your mind? Maybe you’ll lean over the console, giving him a kiss that he sought after, ever since you broke off the last one. Maybe you’ll realize he looks at you everyday, thinks of you everyday, daydreams about you everyday. ‘’Thanks Eddie.’’ You say. Not looking at him. Not leaning over the console. So you didn’t understand, and what’s even worse is that you didn’t even believe him. He could hear it in your tone. He knew you, goddammit.

‘’So..’’

‘’I just think’’

You started talking at the same time. Finally. Finally. You smile. At him, nonetheless. ‘’It’s fine, you go first, baby’’ It was a habit. He couldn’t just be expected to stop a habit, albeit he didn’t want to. Not really. ‘’I just think it’s better this way, you know? Like I like you. Very fucking much. Not like, like you? I like kissing you? Is that weird to say? Well I do. And I like hanging out with you, you’re like my party-best friend? Y’know? Like a work-husband? But switch it out with ‘’party’’. Party husband.. No, no. Party best friend? Party, very good looking, very good kisser best friend? That makes sense, yeah,’’ You were so proud of yourself, Eddie couldn’t stop smiling. He knew what was to come, but you were so cute, his smile wouldn’t falter. ‘’Anyhooow. It’s better this way. None of us caught feelings, right? And I’m going off to college, right? So like, we don’t have to do the whole shabang with crying and missing each other. Like we’ll just stop it here. One last kiss at Halloween. Very good. I like that.’’ None of us caught feelings. None of us caught feelings. None. Of. Us. Caught. Feelings.Your sentence kept replaying in Eddie’s head. He didn’t even know what to say anymore. ‘’Yeah, no. Yeah. You’re right. It’s silly. You’re going off to college, and me. I’m.. Y’know. I’ll figure stuff out probably. Yeah, no. Good that we didn’t catch any of those mean things called feelings, right?’’ He said, laughing, hand tight on his neck. The rest of the car ride was silent. There wasn’t anything left to say. A daydream. It was all that it was. You coming out of your cocoon, a beautiful butterfly ready to fly off to college. And Eddie. Eddie was still just that. Eddie. Not good enough for you, Eddie. Not brave enough to tell you how he felt, Eddie. Not your boyfriend, not your hero, Eddie.

And while he watched you dance up to your front door one last time, while he fell in his oh so empty bed, Eddie couldn’t do anything. Not cry. Not laugh. Nothing. Because he screwed it up. He really screwed it up this time.

‘’maybe i’m mistaken. you’re not mine for takin. maybe i’m mistaken. maybe i just made it up, messed it up.’’

so idk i kind of hate this one??? i started writing this in like??? july?? but i have an idea of like multiple chapters?? like throughout their life?? idk the next one is going to be set in college. and i also wanna elaborate more on how eddie fell for the reader. also the whole toilet scene?? where reader is sad about her makeup?? yeah that was very much inspired by myself. only i didn’t have eddie munson coming in. also all my inspirations come from song lyrics?? so i think songs will be a big part of this world im trying to create?? and yeah most of them will be modern:/ im sorry:/ but yeah. let me know what u think. pls be kind. kisses and hugs to all you lovies ♡

EDIT: i privated this for a long time?? so if you’ve already red it thats why. i put it up again BECAUSE IM WRITING A NEW FIC RIGHT NOW and idk so here it is again

#eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x afab reader #stranger things x reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x reader angst #eddie munson fan fic

[cerealmonster15]

Omg I love these ship ask games 👀 obligatory jamiazurido aand uhhh idisil + I forgot everyone else who exists I'm just opening a spin the wheel thing and mashing some random characters together..... uh hm 🤔 Kalim/Rook and Trey/Silver I Guess Why Not bxbsbsnsjksjsbbsbdv

JFKDSJKFDLS OH BOY!!!!

[SEND ME A SHIP!]

jamiazurido:

:^) You Know I Do teeheehee

What made you ship it? i love multishipping and also combining ships l o l. i already liked jamiazu OBVIOUSLY and i liked azurido, and i think i was thinking a lot about how azul sees riddle as a rival and wants to team up with jamil -> he sees them both as on an equal playing field as him -> theyre both so openly rude to him and hes just like hehehehehe JKFSDJKFLDSJ -> jamil and riddle are octavinelle haters. fish hater club cofounders in my mind. also their backstories made me the saddest until idia's happened.

What are your favorite things about the ship? ^ again i started answering up there kljdsjfklds i just think theyre SILLY and i want them to be academic rival bestie frenemies and also dating... azul likes being bullied considering he surrounds himself with people like the tweels, riddle, jamil, and idia on purpose and it's nonstop psychological warfare kslfjkelje and riddle + jamil are RUDE LITTLE FISH HATERS so i desperately want them in a fish hater alliance. you understand. we've spoken about this At Length but i simply have to rehash it for The Uninformed. i do think they could all challenge each other in a good way. like theyre all kinda,,, bad at socializing [idk jamil is good at faking it but he seems to struggle with true bonds, and azul is a bit Too Schoozey and everyone just rolls their eyes at him skjdlfjds. and riddle. riddle is riddle. i love him but Oh God LOL] so i think it's FUN that theyre a pile of kinda pretentious socially awkward little smart bitchy boys LOL. on each other's playing field 😌

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? tbh the existence of it just feels like an unpopular opinion LOL. like there's a good amount of azul/jamil and azul/riddle but not a lot of riddle/jamil!!! like fair enough, they havent interacted as much... however i am all about the vibes and the POTENTIAL!!! and the few times they HAVE interacted/spoken of each other have mostly been positive. i do know jamil comiserated with trey once about having housewardens that are a handful jkdsljfks BUT ASIDE FROM THAT there seems to be a mutual respect between the two. like in i think riddles gym card story, he is keeping kalim company and doing exercises with him while jamil's busy and tells jamil it's not a problem bc jamil "Deserves a break" lol. and in another story, kalim and riddle are talking at sam's shop and riddle clocks that jamil likely sent kalim on an errand to get him out of the way skljfjsdlk. and they seemed to get along during masquerade event 😌 AND THEYRE BOTH FISH HATERS!!! IT WORKS!!! they could date a fish and be mean about it TOGETHER!!!

god i got so caught up in that i almost forgot you asked me others LOL. im already talking a lot ill put the others under a readmore

idisil:

PLEASE

^^^^i love posting this image every time i get the chance LOL it's so funny to me how blatant he is especially in this translation just kjlfjkslejfe 🧍‍♂️wow, he's seriously handsome 🧍‍♂️

wait i forgot about the questions

What made you ship it? i dont remember KLFDJSKLFJ well actually it mightve been that ^ vignette, silvers ceremony robes. just idia freaking out every time he interacts with silver and commenting about how pretty and princely he is... like sir boy hello.... it was either this or i saw stray fanart on pixiv -> investigated -> read this story. something like that!!! pixiv stumbling around showed me a lot of ships i was unfamiliar with lol

What are your favorite things about the ship? it's kinda funny sjkdfjsdklje like idia is so blatantly gay about his classmates... MANY TIMES talking about how sparkly attractive princely other people are and doing it in this vignette is NO EXCEPTION silver is a COOL LOOKING PRINCE..... but also idia has no idea he's Gamer Besties with silvers DAD KLDSJFKLSDJ IT'S FUNNYYYYY gamer bffs with lilia and having a crush on his cool swordfighting son... i kinda like it with silver being 🤨🤨🤨 with idia's erratic flustered behavior kljfdsf the PINING.... but also i think they could be cute. silver is so blunt and unafraid socially but is also Such A Sweetheart. they could be the Excuse Me He Asked For No Pickles meme!!!! idia could come over to game with lilia and silver could fall asleep on idia's shoulder and it would be comfortable family time WAHHHHH idia you have to marry into the family of weirdo green goths NOW!!!

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? once again the very existence of this ship is pretty unpopular LOL!!! i dont even know what the opinions are of the people that ship them bc i CANT FIND THEM!!! i like them casually [except it probs didnt sound like it just now JKLFJSDKLSFJDL] but i think they are very cute :3

omg random ships YAY let's go!!

kalim/rook:

YEAH!!!!

What made you ship it? tbh it mightve just popped into my mind in that one vignette where idia is trying to get to his dorm but is intercepted by cater, kalim, and rook kfljfjskle. i LOVE that theyre both oozing with positivity and have so much love in their hearts and i think they should combine forces. also we learned they both come from rich families and i think thats very funny LOL

What are your favorite things about the ship? THEY HAVE SO MUCH LOVE!!! IN THEIR HEARTS!!!!!! they want nothing more than to uplift the people around them and see people shine to their fullest extent!!!! theyre both light magic users!!!! rook's more shady and sneaky but at his core he is still very genuine and sweet and i think he and kalim would have a lot of fun. theyre both kinda off the walls in their own ways and i think theyd keep each other entertained/rook could def protect kalim. considering he is rook and cannot die. you know how it is :^)

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? i legit dont think ive ever seen ship art of them before. MAYBE like once or something. you happened to get a random convo that i HAVE thought about before and i DO LIKE ALREADY!!! so yea once again unpopular just by Liking It and also. rook haters dni. rook haters wouldnt UNDERSTAND!!!

trey/silver

FDFDSJKFLJDSJ ok i had not thought of this one before but yknow what??? ill make a case for it. i can get behind it.

What made you ship it? well. because we're trying new things today it seems KLFJDSKLD

What are your favorite things about the ship? theyre both like. casual weirdos. seem "boring normal" to the naked eye but theyre NOT!!!! they are silly 😌 i think theyd be standing around like 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️ and then silver would start talking about that time he befriended a bear and trey would be like WHAT HUH WHAT- and also i think trey joining the green goth weirdo family and sitting down for dinner with them would be Very Funny. like btw your goofy classmate lilia is my War Veteran Father. dinner time at the table with malleus sebek silver and then also Trey Clover. please it would be so funny "wow you grew up with sebek have you ever met his Dentist Dad-" god. sorry. treys dentist thing is endlessly funny to me please silver take him back to the goth woods and teach him the weirdo ways. take silver to queendom of hearts and bake him TREATS!!!

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? im not sure if there are ANY opinions on them sdjfklsdjlkbjkldfjsdl. i support them. boys who think they are normal but are So Strange Actually 🫡

#asks #felix-the-lemon-king #thank you very fun LOL

[captainadwen]

my investment in genshin this time around has been much much shorter lived than expected

this is just a sleep-deprived 5 am rant bc i cannot sleep

i mean, part of it might be spoilers but also the lack of building up to plot that I missed (since my friend played some of the story while using my account as an alt). the issue is that i dont care enough about inazuma’s plot to look it up and see what happened. like ive met ei. i did her second quest. i know enough about raiden shogun to guess. i dont give a single fuck about kujo sara so watching her short-lived fallout from ideology is frankly unappealing. kokomi i liked only bc of a fancomic and the in-game version is much more disappointing. i still forget gorou exists. doing kazuha’s quest is frankly wasting the time i spend alive. i think there’s other characters in inazuma but i keep forgetting who they are so it’s like, whatever

why are itto and shinobu the only two characters from inazuma i actually like???

it is just impossible for me to be invested in inazuma story, and the same issue is happening in sumeru. sumeru the problem is a mix of spoilers but also that i am SO DONE with the traveler having three personality traits

1. i single-handedly saved countries. pay my allies no mind. isn’t it great i owned the jade chamber and that the anemo god is still awol and whatever the fuck went down in inazuma?

2. busybody

3. omg, sUCH a HERo

i really hate it!!!

every time i think im getting invested the focus shifts from characters and their interactions (i thought!!! little sick rich lady and body guard pyro lady and dancer hydro lady had a nice thing going on!!!) back to the traveler and their bullshit quest to go see the dendro archon (for what???? honestly if the writers REALLY cared about the story the motivation would stop being flimsy-ass lets travel teyvat uhuhuh and more ‘that dainsleif fellow is my closest link to finding my awol sibling and if i cannot find my sibling or the god that yeeted us here then by GOLLY i will track dainsleif and other khaen’riah survivors/relics across teyvat until i find one of them again)

(which like!!! could work really well for inazuma and sumeru bc 1. vision stopping might be sus enough for traveler to suspect abyss involvement. but also they got hit really bad by the cataclysm and 2. i havent done the quest yet but there’s a huge-ass ruin guard??? just lying around??? also the irminsul tree links whatnot)

MY POINT IS

i really hate that there’s no motivation to travel around and i hate the boastful traveler and i hate paimon’s screechy voice (i went back to see clips of mond and her voice is SO MUCH LESS SCREECHY) and i really, really fucking despise the grinding

why does every new character need a specific artifact. why do we have to grind so much. if i want to use any of my cast of characters i have to grind the fuck out of them first or they die in three seconds or do nothing. heaven forbid your character scale off anything but attack or hp with how rare things like energy recharge are. like

i thought it was just that i disliked fighting games. im kinda bad at them. and i dont like genshin fighting. i keep wanting to play a ton of rpgs (assasin’s creed, mass effect), but i get tired thinking about fighting. but then i realized, im like 40+ runs in on hades and still going strong. and that game is pure combat.

i just hate games where the combat feels meaningless

at least in hades i know each run brings me slowly closer to escaping the underworld. in genshin after grinding for a full hour (a bit longer than a long slow run in hades) i’ll be lucky if i got anything of use. maybe if you just fight bosses for ascension materials. otherwise get fucked

it just exhausts me and not even puzzles or exploration can make me not feel tired at the idea of playing (And god, i hate the aranara quest run around collecting seeds things.... it could be worse but it could also just be lile. a puzzle instead of dash dash dash con)

anyway i think imma take another break, probably shorter since genshin is what i play when i am bored simply bc its there and easy and i can quit after 5 mins with zero progress lost. a realization brough to you by the realization i was only logging in to get primos for nahida, who i have not met and whom spoilers did not endear me to (also she’s a kid character and except for klee i universally am extremely indifferent to them), whom i was told is “ultra good” for fighting and spiral. and who i’d still have to build up. on the off chance i win 50/50

yeah, no

#anyway the fact that every genshin player who likes the characters and the story just has an elaborate version of the plot and characterizat #where things are actually good #explains a lot about the hugely disparate characterization styles in fic and comic #aLSO ON THAT NOTE #the huge cast of pullable characters from the get-go is such a bad move story-wise #bc u do not have enough time to get invested in a character before they ship you off to the next money grub #like i get why they do it #gatcha game and all #but like #mond and liyue each kept a cast with you side-by-side from the start #mond it was jean starters diluc and venti #so 6 characters #and liyue it was childe and zhongli #so 2 #and the others got peppered in as needed #but inazuma kept punting you off to new gatcha waifu every three scenes and sumeru is doing the same #ffs

[sixtypackofcrayola]

👁👁 LMK GENSHIN AU??? I AM L I S T E N I N G

OK OK A COUPLE PEOPLE ASKED SO HERE I GO NO THIS WILL NOT BE FORMALLY WRITTEN :SMILE: 'm just gonna ramble!! aannndd hope i make some kinda sense theresss gonna be some holes and things i havent come up with n ill mention them but ppl are lucky ta fill stuff in with their own ideas n feed this brainrot<33

okaayyy so first is mk right so abt mk's vision,, mk is like the last in the little hero group to get a vision. hes been tryin for SO LONG to get one and ever since mei got hers hes been kinda more driven to get one himself. he knows theres like- special circumstances involved n hes been tryin to like get that cool thing to happen so they can get theirs but,,, nothins worked yet yknow mk like tries to make guess abt what vision theyre gonna get one day and mei thinks mk is gonna get pyro and like woah cool just like his da-- i mean pigsy!!! so hes not sayin itd be his one and only choice but thinkin about it and what tang has said abt visions he thinks pyro is def possible bc hes real passionate about a lot of things!! like his job and his friendships and MONKEY KING LORE and yknow all that good stuff so he gets it after doin somethin similar to the big fight at the end of a hero is born just- beatin' the SHIT out dbk ig along with his friends and while hes there and struggling but knowin he has to defeat this guy for the sake of everyone he ends up getting his vision and he doesnt focus on the element too much (it does end up being geo) at first its more just HOW TF DO I USE THIS NOW.. but he ends up doin somethin real wacky and BOOM dbk gone 4 now and like after all that is over n we're back to chilling he and the others r like celebrating bc WOO mk got his vision AND we defeating a huge demon!! and mei is like huh i really thought u were gonna get pyro like me and tang is like pushes up glasses well acTUALLY-- and proceeds to explain why geo visions r given to people and all that and while mk does have a lot of passion which would make it make sense 4 him to have a pyro vision hes far more hardworking with his job already and now that hes monkey kid hes gonna b working even harder to protect people mk's been working hard all his life really, not just with his job and now defeating demons, hes been working hard to get a vision so he could be something greater, his bio parents he doesnt remember much about but they were always so unimpressed and demanding so he tried real hard to live up to their expectations and make them happy because he wants his friends and family 2 be happy,, and hes always tried hard to be something more than what he is as he got older and all the monkey king stories really inspired him a lot and thats why hes loved all this lore and stuff for so many years but like,, he could never be a hero like that,,, oh wait anywho mk is a geo polearm(?) user, dunno if ya could call the staff a polearm buuut thats what im goin' with hes also got monkey king's abilities along with the geo ones so ohu boy,, ill talk more abt that part when i get to wukong and mac ALSO I FEEL LIKE MK COULD ALSO BE PYRO AND I COULD CHANGE IT BUT,, I LIKE GEO TOO,,,, oops all pyro traffic light trio????

next is mei who is a pyro sword,, i dont know much abt her backstory/vision story yet sooo if ya wanna spit some ideas im all ears BC I FEEL BAD NOT HAVIN MORE STUFF FOR HER

i dont got much for red son either buuut heres what i do got; red son kinda already has,, magic of sorts bc,, yknow partial demon (in this hes only like,, half technically. yknow how yanfei is like half adeptus-) but its amplified a bunch by the vision and WOO FIRE and theyre a pyro catalyst honestly debating on whether or not they wold have a book or whatever that other floaty thingy is called but like when i imagine either they kinda look similar to dodoco tales or blackcliff agate hmm,, red's two big passions are building and cooking- his tech could possibly rival that of fontaine's advancements if he wanted it to,, they actually take some inspiration from the works of fontaine as well as for the cooking, u already know, spice master. i want a cooking battle with them and xiangling- they'd laugh at the hottest option on the menu at wanmin red son got their vision pretty early in life- a bit older than he was in canon,, which was still a problemmm and ya can guess why,, demon power fire element amplification little tempermental fire demon boy go boom boom samadhi fire or somethin,, so yeah theyre not as powerful as they could be and the vision was actually taken from them until they were older and more mature i suppose red doesnt remember this- they think they got their vision at an older age since it kinda just appeared by him one morning

tang is dendro but like he doesnt fight so he hasnt found a weapon yet- i think itd be real funny if he was a CLAYMORE or maybe a sword bc of that one episode yknow the one,, but honestly catalyst could work too and hed def have a book one if so dont got a backstory or vision story for him either :( nor do i have much for pigsy but pyro,, somethin. y'all can add to pigsy's stuff if ya want i also feel bad for not havin anything for him but passion = cooking woo

sandy,, hydro catalyst def and hed have a book one too,, i think its a little funny seein this huge ass dude and ur like "oh he could totally wield a claymore" and he could but hes got his little magic book and could still beat the shit out of anyone (not that he would unless needed,, but he COULD)

mo. thats it. just mo.

now to the two givin me the most trouble,,,, wukong and macaque i didnt think too much abt what visions macaque and wukong would have bc like,, they have a lot of powers that could fit each vision really and i was like "AUGH should wukong be pyro or geo or maybe anemo???" and like "should macaque be cryo maybe but agghh electro could also fit but GAH" could they be like,, adepti maybe?? m not sure,, im thinkin adepti with no like specified element but aaauuggh or maybe its a traveler sort of deal with like all the elements but i like the adeptus thing a bit more- then again uhh genshin lore,,,,, yeah i can not keep up with all of it</3 so if it makes no sense it makes no sense,, y'all might have 2 catch me up if somehow they wouldnt b able to be adepti but i still wanna keep somethin similar to monkey king's whole story n whatnot,,

last thing uh,, mk part adeptus or at least starting to match adeptal power now that hes got the staff and monkey king powers?? not sure again genshin lore is,, tricky and then that plus the geo vision

wellll thats all i gots for now,, if i come up with more ill post it, but for nows this is the basis again feel free ta add or share thoughts cause this is very unfinished and like one of those things u think of and throw into ur notes at like 5am and i somehow put no thought and a ton of thought into it at the same time<//3 OK THANKS 4 LISTENING TO MY DUMB MONKEY PLUS GENSHIN THINGY

#lmk #lego monkie kid #lego monkie king #lmk macaque #sun wukong #lmk sun wukong #lmk nezha #lmk mk #lmk mei #lmk red son #lmk tang #lmk pigsy #lmk sandy #genshin #genshin impact #lmk au #genshin impact au #this is one of the more random things ive made #spoctalks #rambling abt monkeys and elements for what

[wanderrlust0]

2/2

it ties into the female attention & peaking his interest even if its by the slightest. idk, like i said, this happened almost 3yrs ago when we were in a tough spot unfortunately and ive put it all behind me and weve been moving forward. i know how he feels about me & we would hate to ever lose each other. its just after hearing about this new news to me, i feel like it triggered my brain into thinking about how he can maybe feel things easily towards people. also, hes already apologized to me about the stuff in the past so i dont really feel any more of the frustrations that i felt bc at first he was not seeing my side of things and i was feeling so annoyed by that. luckily, thats all over now. i still get a little attentive when it comes to his classmates & any other girl i hear about bc then i start thinking, well is she pretty, does she like him, does he like her, how much do they talk, etc. which is just a normal girl thing..i think lol. im not totally insecure but it is easy to feel some type of way. so, i think i expressed everything i wanted to. i replied to the other guys msg and i honestly feel kinda bad for him but i hope they can work things out..

edit 7/29: not to add More things to this but.. i hung out with him today & i could tell that he felt terrible about himself for that happening & he felt like i was letting him off too easy. like, just not getting mad or lashing out i guess. im too shy to do that to him tho but i did say how i did think about it a lot & that you two were honestly stupid for doing that. also, how i did feel bad for her husband. i didnt say much more than that but if i did i just wouldve said like, you two knew it would ruin the friendship. even tho it didnt right away, look at it now. just bc you two couldnt put your sexual thoughts aside. but you know what, it just goes to show that it was always ever so slightly present since the beginning of the friendship. they both have had thoughts of fucking already & they finally caved. so he was given the chance to sleep with her & he took it bc 1, it benefited him and 2, hes been secretly wanting to do that. IM STILL NOT OVER THE WHOLE BREAK THING (kinda am) BUT I CANT DWELL ON IT. i just asgdjflk. like broT-T ..made me believe that we were just not gonna talk as much, yet still be friends. it was both of our first time trying out a break. he made me believe that wed be back together once things chilled out & we could hang out normally since it was covid year (honestly was torture & i was in one of my lowest moments). He made me be under the impression that he just needed some spaceeee. I didnt think it was to the point where he felt like he was single, ready to mingle!!! like dude didnt even wait that long to find a whatever rebound, then had the guts to cry to me about stuff i didnt understand at the time but then later found out it was over some other girl!!T-T posting a fricken poem on his story & telling me a lie. turning off his location. taking longer & longer to reply, then not replying for almost a day. But yeah sure, telling me we’d still talk during this time, just not as romantic. sending me snaps of his dealer writing a little “cute” ass note w a heart on it. whyy would your dealer even do that. like she obviouslyyy wouldnt do that for just anyone. posting on your story about something that had to do w him being available & wanting to date. until finally he starts talking to me like he used to bc oh yeah, he wants me back. meanwhile, i havent even thought of myself being single or looking to find a new romantic partner. idk, that all messed w my head soo much. AAND that stupid poem was hung up on his wall for literallyyy monthsD; i couldnt even loook at that wall while we were being intimate bc it turned me off so much & didnt have the guts to mention it. he finally replaced it w something i gave him & when i saw it i was like about time & i showed it to my friend. i got sidetracked but that was important to let out. back to his friend..me knowing that hes been cheated on & how much it has affected him, i would think that he wouldnt enable someone else to do it to their partner the way his ex did it to him?! that was another thing i wouldve told him. i guess i just didnt feel like hurting him more than he already felt about himself.. but to wrap it up, i think were done with it. he kept complimenting me all day. he feels like he should unfollow her off everything now. they honestly havent really talked in a long time & they havent been close like they used to be so its not like they talk. he just doesnt wanna be involved with her & her hubby at all after this. he said i should unfollow also. tbh, i sort of dont want to? is that weird.. i feel like i should be hating her more but i also dont feel enough hate to remove her from ig. idk..he also might ask her how her husband found out. idk its like a sticky situation bc i wouldnt describe my feelings as hurt towards everything. i felt shocked, but not completely surprised. i felt old feelings that i felt when i first found out he hooked up w people during our break & now there was more to uncover. i felt like my suspicions were proven.

#journal #mypost #continued in the comments

[celestie0]

ELLIEIEIIEIEIE hiii ☺️💗

its been forever bae i’ve missed uuu ☹️ i’ve been so busy lately i havent had time to send in my asks 😞 i’ve been thinking abt u tho 😘🤞(omg gojo is that u?? am i gojo??)

OKAY BUT BAE OH MY GODDDDD I’ve started catching feelings for one of my friends and he is literally the sweetest kindest most caring boy i’ve ever met. we’ve been friends for YEARS and he has literally NEVER hurt me. he’s the kind of person you can talk to about anything and he will literally literally not judge you no matter what ☹️whenever im with him i always feel so safe

OKAY BUT LEMME TELL U A FEW THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED WITH HIM CAUSE LIKE I SWEAR THERES SOMETHING BETWEEN US⁉️

okay so a while ago his friend who imma call J was interested in me and kept trying to flirt with me, but the guy i like (imma call him C) noticed this and he got like very protective of me. like for example he wouldn’t leave me alone with J, he’d be kinda touchy when J was around and he always made sure to keep J at a distance. One time tho J approached me when C was busy doing something and J was like saying some kinda weird creepy stuff to me so when I told C he was FURIOUS 😭 I swear he looked like he wanted to smack someone, I also found out that J was a playboy and he liked to mess with a lot of girls so I think thats why C was acting that way??

the other time was a few days ago C and I decided to hang out at a park bc it was a nice day and I decided to make a flower crown bc there were a bunch of daisies,, so I was sitting on the grass making it and C was sitting next to me watching me so I asked if he wanted one but like the boring man he is he said no 😒😒 so i picked up a daisy and tucked it behind his ear instead 😆 he wore it the entire time we were out and he even kept it ☹️ lowk felt like i was having a main character moment, LIKE IT FELT STRAIGHT OUTTA A FANFIC OR SOMETHING 😭 it felt fanfic worthy anyway 🤷‍♀️ OKAY BUT I SWEAR I CANT TELL IF HE KNOWS IN FLIRTING WITH HIM OR NOT 😭 cause like i said we’ve been friends for years so we’re just super comfortable and close with each other 😭😭

okay but enough abt C,, how’re u doing bae?? i’ve been missing u lately ☹️💗 i hope you’ve been taking care of yourself! it was pretty hot up here in norcal for this past week so I can only assume its been hot down there as well?? imma tell u bae as a city girl,, i cannot deal with hot weather. over 67° and i’m melting 😭 idk how you guys in socal do it 😭

anyway bae thats all for now,,

BYEBYE AND I LOVE U SO MUCH 💗💗

-🦌 anon

awwww hii my love i was thinking about you earlier last week!! so happy to see u <33

omg 🤧 C sounds soooo nice :””) he had those red flag glasses on when he was steering u clear of J but also maybe he was jealousss?? 🤔🫣🤭 also the flower thing is so adorable n you’re so right that’s like straight out of a fanfiction omggg ✋🏼😭 friends to lovers goes CRAZZYYY. if you like him bb u should tell him how u feeeeeel. i just watched ‘one day’ netflix series recently which is like friends to lovers but hella slowburn over the course of like twenty years but if there’s anything it taught me, it was to just tell ppl how u feel honestlyyy 😭😭😭 i’m rooting for you!! also is this the same guy that you were texting last time that wanted to stay awake w youuu at night?? 👁️

i’ve been doing well my love!! i just got back from a 20 mile bike ride so i’m exhausted n gonna go pass out LOL. im training to do a 100 miler w my friends in october so 😵‍💫😵‍💫 been spending sunday mornings working on rides haha. but yea im chillin im gonna hang out w my mom cuz mothers day i think her fav brunch spot is doing some 15% off mimosas thing so my brother n i are gonna take her there. YEA omg its getting hotter slowly, surprisingly this week is going to be still cold for us, tbh it’s supposed to be hotter this time of the year i’m a bit surprised by how pleasant it was when i was out riding today?? the sun only came out around 10am. shocked but i’m not complaining HAHAHA. we’re like low 70s rn and its bliss bc once summer hits i just wanna DIE. so jelly of youuu ik norcal has some wind to cut the heat too but not so much here at least not where i live since i’m more central from the beach 😭

i missed u toooo bb so nice to hear from you <333 LOVE YA HUGS N KISSES 💋 💕

- ellie 🦢

#💕💕💕 #🦌 anon #asks

[magnoliamyrrh]

How do you deal with self-harm urges?

(tw talk of different things ive used to self harm)

i still struggle with it a lot of times still, with the urges that is, and every once in awhile i do relapse (sometimes less sometimes really bad), but thankfully ive been able to go months on end without doing it, or i think sometimes like a year and a half or maybe more? i started cutting when i was 12, so frankly im a bit impressed w myself for the times ive been able to stop after so many years. ive found thankfully that the longer you go without, the more the urges to keep doing it go down

and uhhh idk. several things i guess?

sometimes (often if its rly bad) ill scratch myself w my nails (not drawing blood just irritating the skin and it kinda hurts) and sometimes that makes it go away, its enough pain to calm me down without permanent damage. i know ppl say to use icecubes and ive tried a couple of times but it really doesn't work for me - glad it does for others. uhm ill try to go take really hot showers until i calm down, that tends to work. sometimes ill try to just,,,,, this may sound stupid but if something in particular triggers me and i feel the urge, i try to remain either physically paralized or try to distract myself w anything until it passes; harder said than done. listening to loud music in headphones also kinda helps w that sometimes. every once in awhile ill try to do something like tear apart paper or some other thing and sometimes that does something?

and tbh this isnt good but smoking cigarettes makes me do it a bit less. but like Do Not Do This, i actually consider cigarettes to be a MUCH Much worse form of self harm than a lot of cutting. because end of the day if youre careful, cutting leaves you with scars only. cigs can absolutely wreck your health long term and its a horrible addiction. just because its more socially acceptable than cutting doesnt mean its not more dangerous; ive actually had plenty of psychs and therapists agree w me on this one

hmm. ill try to go for a walk, if i can, until the worse of the urge passes. or alternatively i will go and drive around aimlessly listening to music until they pass. sometimes if the urge isnt super super strong, i also find that it helps to draw - ive been using vent art as a way to cope for years, and sometimes drawing cuts or scars on a representation of myself gets that urge a little bit out of me

....... i feel like doing psychadelics really helped me do this less and quit many times - they make you not really wanna hurt yourself and love yourself and take care of yourself better, while also dealing w the underlining issues and mechanisms which lead to the urge in the first place

....i try to keep in mind that it doesnt truly help. its not worth it. maybe it gives some temporary satisfaction or release, but it doesnt Really help. its a vicious cycle you enter in many times, when you start disliking yourself even more for cutting and feel even worse, and then you cut yourself again over that...... i try my best to keep in mind that punishing myself like that doesnt help anything and that i dont deserve it, and i try to keep in mind that taking out my emotional pain or frustration like that on myself doesnt really help either.... long term, it will just make it worse - and is that really what i want?

its good to learn too, how to not put yourself down for cutting once you do it or relapse, bc that just leads to spiraling. it happened, its okay, it is what it is, no need to feel bad over it or start throwing insults at yourself over it...... its hard, but it helps to try to be gentle with yourself

...something else that helps me do it less too at times is that lol, i have chronic pain. i am already in pain all the time - do i really want to add more on top of that? havent i had enough of the pain?........sometimes when ive relapsed its been a way to cope with the pain actually, to have control over when and how i feel pain and to feel a different kind of pain but.... tbh, after doing that enough times i just got fed up with it. pain is pain, and most days of my life i have plenty of it to deal with anyway..... also figured out that if i cut too much, it sets my nervous system on fire and it makes my chronic pain worse, so that's also a reason to not do it

.... i also try to not keep things i can cut with in the house - meaning that if i Really want to, ill have to drive to the store to buy blades, which i think is a good way to give yourself some time to maybe calm down or snap out of it or change your mind. Theres times when the urge is so strong and i just say fuck it and go buy them, but it takes more time and commitment to do that. This helped me bc theres been many times when i would have very likely cut if i had access to them, but bc i didnt and i didnt wanna do it bad enough to warrant a drive, i ended up not doing it....... this also works bc i dont personally cut with knives (even with the sharpest knives ive never been able to do it consistently and properly enough to feel satisfying, and i think my weak muscles and joints make it harder for me in particular, so i cant rly use them), meaning i have to rely on either pencil sharpener blades, or actual razor blades...... sometimes i think its better to buy pencil sharpeners bc, again, they make it harder (you have to take the time to take the pencil sharpener apart and take the blade out, and these blades go dull a lot quicker than razor blades - so the first one gives you more time to think it through and maybe stop and not do it, while the other one means you wont be able to do as much damage for as long of a time bc it will become harder and harder to cut)......... i also used to, when i was younger, cut with shaving razors (like the ones for legs) but this is something i grew out of because i really dont like the stinging and way it cuts the skin,,, so; yea, i think not keeping a supply of cutting things in the house helps a lot of times

..... sometimes its the dissociation that helps me, but thats not really something everyones brain does. but you can try to think of yourself as, lets say, your friend - if your friend felt like how you feel in that moment and wanted to cut, would you want them to? what would you tell them, how would you comfort them, and what would you suggest they do instead?

idk if any of this was helpful at all, sorry, but yea;; i think a combination of all of those things have helped me to quit many times, and... it really does get easier to not do it and to not think abt it as often the longer you go without doing it. also, sometimes it does help to call a hotline! not always, but ive done it a handful of times (mainly for combination of suicide + sh urges), and there were indeed times when i came across v caring and understanding ppl which helped talk me down - so this may be an option to think abt. id also say if you can, calling a friend can be helpful, its something ive done too

and pls, if youre gonna keep cutting dont put yourself down over it, but be careful 🌸 always clean whatever youre using to do it before and afterwards with either soap or alcohol, always check if theres rust on it and never use something that has rust or metal of a weird colour, and after you wash them, make sure they are dry and store them in a place which is dry. or better - throw them out. always clean your wounds afterwards with warm water, and when youre able to handle it later with soap and water so they dont get infected. and its best to cover up deeper cuts so they can heal better with bandaids or medical gauze. and please please dont cut in areas where there are a lot of important and sensitive veins and tendos (like the inner wrist) - even if youre being careful, you dont want to take the risk of damaging something important like that. and please, if it ever gets rly out of hand and its not closing up, its too deep, or it gets infected, go to a doctor or a medical facility near you

.... and.. try to be gentle with yourself 💗 its really hard but its important. and if youre trying to quit, ask why it is you cut in the first place (bc pain calms you down, control, masochism, a way to get out overwhelming emotions, comfort, a cry for help or attention, self punishment etc etc), and try to find a way to work on whats driving the cutting in the first place, or to find a less harmful way to achieve a similar goal - i think thats something that helped me long term

take care of yourself and be careful 🌺 and if its something u struggle w youself, know that it is possible to stop and that it does get easier

[dykeseesgod]

need shishka lore now. (i plan on drawing her)

HI HELLO HI HEY HELLO OK i will actually cry if you draw her like real tears SO KINDA LONG LORE DUMP BELOW UHSDJ

also maybe kinda spoilers for smth that doesnt exist yet ig? idk i plan on making this into a comic or smth at some point so

also sorry if it doesnt make much sense the entire story is still very much a work in progress zkjdfhskdfhs

also also tw for mentions of like. murder and shit

SO BASICALLY the main story (i.e. the period of time i have a ref for on toyhouse) takes place in 2017. why? idk!! i think i just wanted the twins to be born in 2000 because its like. a clean number. also in this world there are both furry looking guys and humans because all of these characters were originally undertale ocs

anyways, shishka (btw dont ask why the name is like that i made her when i was like. 9 maybe and i got too attached to the name to change it) and shad are twins. their mom is named sam and their dad is named damien. damien comes from an extremely rich family, but he completely cut ties with them like. as soon as he moved out. sam comes from an extremely average suburban family.

oooooo plot twist tho! damien is actually just a little bit insane crazy and is also kind of maybe an infamous serial killer thats been terrorizing the small town they live in for years. (thats all happening while shishka and shad are like. 7-12)

one day sometime in like. 2012. he realizes "huh. my family is like. dangerously close to finding out that im a serial killer.............. i mean like i kill people anyways why not i just take them out too lol. get it out of the way :)))" and so he tries to do that.

he kills sam, but fails to take into account that maybe his kids would panic at the sound of gunshots and call the cops. because thats what happens. he gets arrested, but not before attempting to shoot shishka, but failing entirely at hitting anything vital. instead, she just gets shot in the...... idk shoulder? elbow??? i havent decided yet. somewhere in the arm region.

after this whole ordeal is settled like. in court. both her and shad get put with 2 foster parents who arent like. the worst human beings to ever exist???? they just arent very invested in the actual wellbeing of these kids, and kinda force them into doing interviews and whatnot about their dad that they don't really want to do. i have like nothing planned for this part of the story besides that so you'll just have to bare with me on that scrap of information. all i really have planned is that they move out at 16 bcs their foster parents kinda suck ass!!!!!

aaaannnd thats kinda all i have planned in terms of her!! the only other thing is that she has a tv head gf named tomo, and they are literally the best thing ever and i love them. sadly shad is more of the main character so he has a lot more of his part of the story worked out already, but i am definitely planning on fleshing out shishka more :D!!!!!

i dont know how to end this. take this doodle of her i did in 0.2 seconds

#🫀 #📨 #original character

[betawooper]

rating every demon fight in kny bc i can

non-biased, completely objective rating (more or less) of every significant demon fight in kny based on a number of factors, including:

cleverness of fighting tactics

placement in the story’s timeline

integration of character backstories

cohesive themes between characters

etc

by non-biased and objective i mean i’m not skewing the rating if a death felt fair or whatever

everything past where the anime ended will be under a read more so anime onlys who havent watched mugen train, youre safe lol

oh and i reread the manga like 20+ times (reread the latter arcs at least 40 times, haha hyperfixations am i right?) so be rest assured im not pulling these ratings out of my ass

also ill randomly be bolding certain phrases just to improve readability

anyways let’s gooooo

VS NEZUKO

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou and Nezuko. Tanjirou is fending her off by putting the axe handle in her mouth, keeping her from eating him. End Image Description.]

10/10

i like how realistic it is, because yeah tanjirou would react the way to he did with zero fighting skills against a demon

very clear why tanjirou is fighting nezuko and shows a bit of worldbuilding on how normal people react to their family becoming demons

always nice to see worldbuilding

giyuu is the perfect example of a seasoned demon slayer who’s good at his job, and he juxtaposes tanjirou very well in that aspect

my only complaint is not directly in this fight itself but how nezuko is handled throughout the story as a whole

like bro, it is literally never explained why nezuko is different from demons

could have been easily explained if maybe her family’s ghosts like slapped her hand every time she wanted to eat a person but nope

she’s just built different lol

so yeah youll see future ratings get points docked off bc nezuko unlocks some secret power with no prior explanation other than she angy >:3

VS TEMPLE DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a demon. The demon has a sharp-nailed hand over his neck and there are four text bubbles around him saying “But a wound like this... will heal in no time! See? The bleeding already stopped!” End Image Description.]

10/10

may be more forgettable compared to like rui but still good

tanjirou did exceptionally well in this fight and his ability to think on his feet is once again beautifully illustrated here (trapping this dude’s head against the tree trunk with the axe)

very clever

again, establishes more demon worldbuilding regarding regeneration and still being able to move without their head

and the demons burning in the sunlight thing since nezuko wasn’t able to show that

the ending where tanjirou hesitates to kill the demon also serves to show his sympathetic nature towards demons that will last throughout the entirety of the first 60-ish chapters

:)

we’ll talk about what the hell happens to tanjirou after that

or not, it could honestly be its own post

VS HAND DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a many-handed demon. He has six hands around him, three of them covering his mouth while he chuckles, two of them grabbing his cheeks, and one holding on to the top of his head. There are two text bubbles saying “That’s how many of Urokodaki’s students I have eaten! I’ve decided to kill all of his students!” End Image Description.]

10/10

ooooh probably the first big fight against a demon in the series

oh yeah not doing the two random demons tanjirou one shot in a single blow bc eh

anyways hand demon’s pretty goddamn scary, considering the fact that this is the 5th demon or whatever tanjirou has had to face so far

very nice way to show us how much tanjirou’s innate intuition and all his other random abilities (sense of smell, hard forehead) can come together and help him decapitate this guy

i liked the mini history with urokodaki this dude had and why he had beef with our favorite mentor figure, it establishes that urokodaki was in fact a super good demon slayer and its cool to see that actually shown

i also liked that small moment of compassion tanjirou gave this demon, staying consistent with tanjirou’s established kindness

the demon’s sad tale with killing his own brother very much humanizes him when all the reader has seen up to this point is that this guy is a monster who eats people

sets up the theme of demons just being humans but being victims of circumstance that unfortunately doesn’t hold up as well in arcs past mugen train

VS SWAMP DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou fighting off three horned demons as they appear from below. There is a spiky text bubble saying “Three of them!!!” End Image Description.]

10/10

not my most favorite fight but it still portrays everything alright and im not allowed to let my personal opinions mess with the rating so

i like how tanjirou mentioned the fact that he trained in conditions similar to the bog and explains how he pulled off the whirlpool form

using past experiences to aid him in the present, nice nice

tanjirou and nezuko dont quite work together very well but its yknow the first mission so ill chalk it up to simple inexperience

also the way the muzan curse thingie was hinted at here? fantastic way of showing that little bit of demon worldbuilding

...

oh god, it mentions nezuko being stronger than normal demons

ok its not a problem here per say since i can still suspend my disbelief, but later on it just becomes a glaring problem that gets worse over time

VS SUSAMARU AND YAHABA

[Image Description: Manga panels of Susamaru and Yahaba. The first one is a joyful Susamaru about to throw a temari ball. There is floating text saying “Is she one of Kibutsuji’s minions?!” The second image is an annoyed Yahaba, holding one of his eye-hands to cover himself. There are two text bubbles around him saying “My kimono got all dusty. Tch!” End Image Description.]

9/10

why dont these bitches have a good looking panel together dammit

anyways amazing entrance, the way yahaba used his hand eyes to track down tanjirou is really neat

the synergy yahaba and susamaru have is incredible, its awesome dude, they work extremely well together and it shows

tanjirou actually mixing his water breathing forms together is a god tier move and i absolutely love how he can show off his ability to think on his feet once again

establishing how yushiro’s bda works early on is really well done

establishing tamayo as a fugitive this early on is also super well done

not to get into spoiler territory but both these things pay off

how tamayo ended up defeating susamaru is literally awesome in so many ways

shows off both how smart she is by exploiting the muzan curse

and speaking of the muzan curse, we actually get to see what happens to demons who even say his name, back when it was hinted with the swamp demon

tamayo is amazing dude, and we get some real evidence of the horrible suffering demons go through if they even accidentally attempt to betray muzan :D

...

now heres what keeps this fight from being perfect

nezuko somehow grew stronger against susamaru’s temari

with no explanation

which could have been easily explained if tamayo was like “oh yeah the drug also boosts a demon’s strength temporarily”

but nope

god, i just dont like how gotouge handles nezuko’s power boosts throughout the series bc like i said before

no explanation is given anywhere

this is a huge issue, this isnt a pokemon game, you cant just kill demons and get exp at the end of every battle, level up, get some sweet stat bonuses and move on

(actually if gotouge established that this is how nezuko grew in power, than all my complaints about this would be gone, im not even joking)

anyways i get that nezuko is supposed to be “special” but thats too vague of a descriptor

how the hell is she special? ya gotta be more specific and stick with that explanation or that suspension of disbelief is going to disappear

VS TONGUE DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a four-eyed demon with horns and a long tongue. He is crawling in an awkward position, one foot in front of his tilted head. There are two text bubbles around him saying “Heh, heh! I’ll slurpy slurp your brains out through you ear!” End Image Description.]

10/10

not much to say, showcases zenitsu’s true abilities really well

nicely done

VS HORNED DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a big, single-horned demon. There are three text bubbles saying “You dodged! You’re awfully lively for a human! It’ll be a treat to carve away your flesh!” End Image Description.]

10/10

would have ignored this fight if not for the fact we havent seen inosuke fight before

it definitely shows how very fast-paced and wild inosuke is

no complaints here lol

VS KYOGAI

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kyogai, a demon with tsuzumi drums attached to his shoulders. There are four text bubbles around him saying “Why?! Why does everyone keep sneaking through my house? It’s so aggravating. It’s my prey! It’s my prey! Found in my territory!” End Image Description.]

10/10

establishes marechi blood pretty early on, once again expanding the worldbuilding of kny which is always cool

interesting terrain where it’s always shifting, tanjirou once again proves his ability to adapt really quickly by altering one of his forms to work with the turning room

(man, i wish the form mixing/form modification thing carried on throughout the rest of the story, but it really didnt which is just a shame)

the injuries tanjirou had prior to this mission actually affecting him was a nice touch

oh yeah, kyogai gives us more worldbuilding (which is always nice) regarding the 12 kizuki, and the aspect of him being cast out due to being weak shows a lot about muzan’s indifference towards his own demons if they arent strong

his backstory being a failed writer once again humanizes kyogai as a former human being and not just a monster

tanjirou shows his sympathy and compassion again by not stepping on his written work and complimenting his bda

well, tbh tanjirou’s actions kinda came out of nowhere but its a very minor thing and not enough to dock a point off, like it didnt affect the outcome of the fight that much if at all

(so if you see future battles where points are docked off for things not logically making sense, its bc whatever nonsensical concepts were integrated into the fight actually turned the tide of the battle and thats a big no-no)

very good fight and if you remember how kinda bad tanjirou was at accurately slicing the swamp demon, you can see that he’s already improved leaps and bounds

im so proud of him

VS MOTHER SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou and the Mother Spider Demon. There is a light shining down from the top right on to the demon as Tanjirou slices her head off, rain following in his wake. There is floating text saying “Water Breathing: Fifth Form - Blessed Rain After the Drought!” around them. End Image Description.]

10/10

i mean does anyone disagree?

all the demon slayers getting their necks snapped by her threads was pretty horrific, probably more horrifying than anything else we have seen in the entire series if im gonna be honest

the death scene is probably the most beautiful one in the series

it reveals a water breathing form that we havent seen before thats the 5th form

as far as i know, no other breathing style has this merciful sword stroke so it shows a lot about the original water breather and what they might have been like

but enough about them, really the focus is on tanjirou bc this is like the best example by far of how kind and sympathetic he is to demons

dunno what else to say, its perfect

VS SON SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Agatsuma Zenitsu performing Thunder Breathing 1st Form: Sixfold on a spider-like demon. Zenitsu is crashing through the roof of a shed, and a zig-zag path is left behind. There are sound effects all over the panel, saying “Bam!” in large font. End Image Description.]

10/10

chose a picture without a huge spider on it bc i would like to not scare myself half to death

anyways extremely amazing fight, showcases zenitsu’s immense talent and skill, adapting the 1st form of thunder breathing to be a more versatile move

theres a moment where his backstory with kuwajima and kaigaku were revealed and his hidden insecurities are out in the open which is super nice and further develops a character weve only considered as comedic relief until now

the anime made the backstory scenes and the killing scene so much cooler

while there is no thematic connection between zenitsu and the demon, it really isnt necessary to keep this fight interesting

anyways another pretty much perfect fight

VS FATHER SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou and Inosuke slashing at the Father Spider Demon. The demon has blocked Tanjirou’s sword with his arm, and Inosuke is slamming both his blades down on the demon’s other hand. End Image Description.]

10/10

again, not my most favorite fight but it does everything right

i do have to say it was excellent how gotouge hyped up the father spider demon to be the big bad, only just so the plot twist later takes the readers by surprise

nicely done

VS DAUGHTER SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kochou Shinobu and the Daughter Spider Demon. Shinobu’s back is seen and her haori looks like a butterfly’s wings keeping her afloat as she holds her stinger blade out to the side. The demon looks surprised as blood gushes from her side, arm, shoulder, chest, neck, and forehead. There is floating text on the panel, saying “Insect Breathing - Butterfly Dance - Caprice!” End Image Description.]

10/10

first time weve seen shinobu and her fighting style

what i love most about this is how much it shows her true character, appearing as a carefree and naive individual so she seems underwhelming

then bam, reveals exactly how dangerous and uncaring she is of demons, listing out the specific ways she would torture the daughter spider demon in grotesque detail

her using poison to take demons by surprise is also super clever and brings back the worldbuilding established way earlier about wisteria being poisonous to demons

amazing integration of that concept

anyways this fight really encapsulates who shinobu is as a character and thats why it gets a perfect score

VS RUI

[Image Description: Manga panel of Rui holding his hand out directly towards the viewer. There are two text bubbles around him, saying “Give me your sister. If you hand her over quietly, I’ll spare your life.” End Image Description.]

8/10

not only is it a super scary fight but there is a deeper conflict between rui and tanjirou, what it means to be family

they are opposites in the sense that while tanjirou believes love is what makes a family, rui’s subconscious desperation for an unbreakable bond drives him to use fear to keep his “family” together

excellent juxtaposition of their values, and this is only further emphasized when rui expresses out loud what he was going to do to nezuko

i also like the symbolism regarding rui’s bda, how he uses threads or the “familial” bonds to cut up his fake family with it if they act out of turn or annoy him

super neat detail

alright what i dont like about this fight is nezuko (again)

mostly her unlocking her bda to turn the tide of the battle bc her mom was like “yo, wake up, your brother is going to be killed”

feels... forced ig

her bda in general is confusing and not consistent

man, i wish i could make a stronger argument for this but i do believe the problem stems from the fact that we dont ever know what nezuko is thinking, and what she thinks of tanjirou specifically

if she even cares for him as a sibling or if shes only going along with what her family is saying to her, things like that which would have been fixed if gotouge actually gave her thoughts some screen time

so the action feels pretty shallow

im also conflicted over tanjirou somehow remembering how dance of the fire god works

on one hand, hes using past information and applying it in the current setting so he doesnt die, which is understandable

but on the other hand, this was a teeny bit random?

i think what could have fixed this is if there was a scene in the beginning of the series where tanjirou was performing it himself, like practicing before he actually had to do it for new years

so that when the rui fight rolls around, it would have felt less like throwing dry spaghetti at a wall

but yeah

overall super good fight, giyuu ending up having to kill rui instead of tanjirou was super good in that tanjirou didnt become a pillar this early in the series and to show how strong giyuu is

there are some odd bits regarding the ultimate “beheading” of rui using nezuko and tanjirous supposed bonds but it doesnt kill the fight entirely so it deserves its pretty high score

***under read more is manga-only fights so beware***

VS ENMU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Enmu holding his hand out directly at the viewer, with a mouth on the back of it. There is floating text to the top right of Enmu that says “Whispers of Forced Unconscious Hypnosis!” End Image Description.]

9/10

id say this fight is definitely overshadowed by the dream stuff prior to this but its pretty good in its own right

enmu fusing with the train was kinda confusing, like when was it established that demons could fuse with objects?

this worldbuilding element doesnt even appear again so yeah thats why it loses a point

how the kmbk gang end up defeating enmu is pretty sweet though, tanjirou using dance of the fire god to sever the neck bone was really nice and shows that him using the breathing style in the rui fight wasnt a one time thing

while kyojuro’s role was smaller in this part, the next part makes up for it so i cant complain

anyways ye, almost perfect score but its pretty good

VS AKAZA (MUGEN TRAIN)

[Image Description: Manga panel of Akaza holding his hand out to the viewer’s left. There is a text bubble saying “Why don’t you become a demon?” End Image Description.]

10/10

this encounter is literally amazing okay?

after the crew kills the big bad, it seems like everything is fine

but plot twist, upper moon 3 appears out of nowhere

this is the first time the reader has seen an upper moon, let alone the 3rd/4th strongest demon in existence and the way gotouge handled this twist is fucking amazing

kyojuro’s death scene really shows just how human even the strongest pillars are against demons with incredible power

its just

amazing

VS OBI DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panels of the obi-like demon. The first image shows the obi hung in the air and strung over each other like decorations, with women-shaped patterns in its folds. The second image is Hashibira Inosuke fighting the Obi demon which now has lips and eyes. There is floating text in that panel saying “Breath of the Beast: Sixth Fang - Jagged Gnaw!!” End Image Description.]

10/10

on to red light district

this fight is admittedly super forgettable and not very interesting at least compared to the main fight with daki and gyutaro

but it wraps up the sub plot of the women and uzui’s wives going missing so it gets a perfect score for not messing that up

oh and it establishes the stretchy neck thing daki has going on which is very good

VS DAKI AND GYUTARO

[Image Description: Manga panel of Daki and Gyutaro. Daki is sitting on Gyutaro’s shoulders. There is a text bubble on the top right that says “The two of us are one, after all.” as well as floating text that reads “The power of the irregular siblings...!? Next issue lead color and the fight reaches its climax!!” End Image Description.]

8/10

love how this battle challenges tanjirou’s sympathy and kindness towards demons, just simply bc daki and gyutaro are horrible people

(too bad nothing came of this, which ill explain in the hantengu portion)

daki and gyutaro are very good villains and kept this fight super interesting from start to finish

uzui acting as a foil to gyutaro is nicely integrated and properly shown with how jealous gyutaro gets over seeing uzui’s perfect form and stature

tanjirou not only mixes forms but mixes breathing styles as well, which is so fucking awesome

(too bad it was only used like once throughout the entire series, its quite unfortunate)

the super high tension right after inosuke gets stabbed and tanjirou wakes up was expertly portrayed and handled, it felt like the kmbk gang and uzui were actually going to lose

super awesome

the tanjirou and gyutaro parallels are expertly portrayed, with how gyutaro taunts tanjirou over failing to protect his little sister, and the more visual thing where tanjirou imagined his own neck underneath his blade, that was super duper nice

the ending is extremely tense and emotionally gripping, gotouge did a really good job with that artistically too

the demon mark acquisition scene was surprisingly not frustrating, considering that it wasnt really explained prior to the battle

i do think it has to do with how it was explained later just exactly how they worked so its not just some random thing gotouge pulled out of their ass

so pretty good

/

what i dont like is nezuko and her full power demon form

first of all where the fuck did that come from? she just got angry and suddenly shes as powerful as an upper moon

like

how?

that doesnt make sense???

her extremely quick regeneration makes no sense

her ability to manipulate her blood’s properties makes no sense

and it doesnt even appear again so what was the point of that existing

none of this is even explained later which annoys me

that one part where tanjirou sings a lullaby to her to calm her down was alright ig but nezuko in this fight makes me extremely irritated and frustrated

just ugh

VS HANTENGU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Hantengu opening a shoji door. He is crawling inside, his hand in a gnarled, unnatural position. There is a text bubble saying “Eeeeeeek.” End Image Description.]

1/10

swordsmith village

this fight can go fuck itself /j

no but seriously it has so many problems that it would be shorter to name its redeeming qualities (which ill do later)

first off, the nezuko full power form thing again

i hate it so much with a passion

again, where did her ability to regenerate instantly even come from???? this is never explained, ever

and why did she cut herself on tanjirou’s sword anyway

did she somehow know that it was going to turn red if she burned it?

gotouge what the fuck, there is literally no reason why nezuko would do that and we cant even read her mind to see her thought process

gotouge hates nezuko, i swear

/

remember when i said uzui is meant to be a foil to gyutaro in the rld fight? its pretty obvious that those two are opposites, it was nicely done

... what the hell does mitsuri’s insecurities about strength have to do with whatever the fuck hantengu has going on (which is basically nothing)?

so no meaningful connection between mitsuri and hantengu

theres no meaningful connection between tanjirou and hantengu other than tanjirou getting pissed off for like the second time

also tanjirou’s thing with being kind and sympathetic to demons was entirely dropped at this point

but instead of it leading up to a corruption arc of some sorts, it just doesnt

like honestly if something actually came of that anger he exhibited in this arc and from red light district from this point forward story-wise, i would have counted this as an amazing writing decision

but it literally doesnt so who cares

(god, i really start to hate what happened to his character after this )

and genya’s revealed motivation also doesnt fit at all with hantengu’s thing, he’s not a foil, not a parallel, nothing, there is nothing

/

tanjirou being the catharsis for development for mitsuri and muichirou, who he has only talked to like twice

theres definitely a better way to handle those two’s developments without his help

like gotouge, you have a big cast of characters, use them lol

/

i want to kick hantengu in the face for being boring as fuck (at least his clones have cool looking weapons)

doesnt even have a proper backstory, just a single spread of him being blamed for shit as a human

like... thats it? this is upper moon 4 what the hell

/

theres no clever form mixing here at all (regarding tanjirou) which probably would have helped with foreshadowing the 13th form for dance of the fire god/sun breathing better

also gotouge established that as tanjirou’s thing and now he doesnt do that stuff anymore which sucks

/

oh hey remember when tanjirou actually learned how to do zenitsu’s speed boost thing?

if you didnt, i dont blame you bc it literally doesnt appear again, ever

you could argue that he adapted it into his “waltz flash” technique or whatever the fuck that is but the way it was integrated into this fight was like throwing dry spaghetti at a wall

which is just a shame bc its meant to be representative of how tanjirou and zenitsu are good pals but the way it was utilized is forgettable as hell

/

i absolutely loathe the crimson blade concept as a whole and im mentioning this now bc its going to come into play why future instances where this goddamn thing comes up again causes points to be lost

its inconsistent as fuck ill tell you that

/

at least some yoriichi stuff appeared here and not shoved into the final battle with everything else

so the yoriichi stuff later didnt come out of absolute nowhere

genya and mitsuri’s unique fighting styles expand the kny worldbuilding just a little more which is always nice

tanjirou got a cool sword out of this which would have been cooler if him and yoriichi had a deeper connection that was actually explored

but we didnt get shit so whatever

other people getting demon marks being revealed here is also okay so that again, the final battle isnt filled with absolutely everyone getting their marks at once

demon marks have their own slew of problems but its not as bad as the fucking crimson sword shit

god i hate the crimson sword shit

...

dude this section needs a tldr, even i cant sit and read through my shit

TL;DR - this fight sucks and crimson swords are bullshit (more on this later)

VS GYOKKO

[Image Description: Manga panel of Tokitou Muichirou and Gyokko. Muichirou is looking to the left while Gyokko is looking to the right, both with their backs to each other. There are mist clouds billowing in the foreground and background, as well as a slash mark going across Gyokko’s neck. End Image Description.]

7/10

this fight suffers from the same lack of cohesive themes through characters like the hantengu battle bc the antagonist is given nothing

but its better

we havent actually seen mui fight before so theres no consistencies that the reader has to keep track of for now

and there arent like 10 characters in the fight so this fight gets a lot of points just for being a lot more coherent

i do like that this fight shows just how good mui is that he can defeat an upper moon by himself

mui’s backstory is neat

gyokko’s bda is very interesting too

... thats pretty much it lol

ye, anyways not the best fight but not the worst fight either

VS KAIGAKU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kaigaku holding the hilt of his blade with one hand. There is two text bubbles around him, saying “...As usual, you’re still shabby. It’s been a while, Zenitsu.” End Image Description.]

9/10

alright on to final battle arc

theres some good fights and then some really sucky ones, but this one was pretty incredible and very emotionally charged

theres a clear reason why zenitsu and kaigaku are battling each other (kai betrayed the corps and inadvertantly caused the only parental figure in zenitsu’s life to die, and zenitsu is rightfully pissed off about that)

the visual yin-yang symbolism is awesome too

zenitsu winning due to using the 7th form he created himself (which i have reason to believe was inspired by tanjirou) was the perfect ending to the fight, really couldnt ask for anything better and is a perfect example of how much of an effect tanjirou has had on zenitsu

the 7th form is what tanjirou’s waltz flash should have been lol

/

what keeps this fight from being absolutely perfect is lack of development prior to this conflict

(since the final battle arc is basically a culmination of all the hinted developments through the series, im going to actually factor in how much and how well these conflicts were foreshadowed)

anyways if we had actually seen zenitsu, kaigaku, and kuwajima actually interacting with each other and showing how they were essentially a family (not just through flashbacks), it would have made zenitsu placing the responsibility of killing kai onto himself a lot more tragic

but like, apart from brief flashbacks where zenitsu actually met kaigaku off screen and that one thing all the way back in natagumo where both kuwajima and kai were introduced, thats pretty much it in terms of thunder family development

so yeah its underdeveloped for sure

also one random thought, i personally think zenitsu should have gotten his demon mark in this fight, it would have been cool to see

VS AKAZA (INFINITY FORTRESS)

[Image Description: Manga panel of Akaza’s face. There are two text bubbles around him, saying “Okay, let’s get started. It’s time for the feast.” There is also floating text saying “The inspection of the strong has begun...” as well as a simple box on the lower left, denoting its the end of chapter 147. End Image Description.]

6/10

oh god please dont hate me for this

ill list the good things first how about that

this conflict was foreshadowed perfectly in mugen train, you bet the readers were expecting a tanjirou vs akaza battle after the death of kyojuro and gotouge delivered

akaza’s power is shown extremely well with how many close calls tanjirou and giyuu had while fighting him

akaza eventually giving up on his own volition was really nice and fit into the context of the battle very very well, like sure tanjirou and giyuu wouldnt understand why he gave up but us readers do know

akaza is a really good character and a good villain

/

now notice how im only mentioning akaza and not giyuu or tanjirou in the good aspects

bc those two are eh

no form mixing at all from either tanjirou and giyuu

i know i said form mixing was kind of tanjirou’s thing but you’d think giyuu would have gotten more creative with his moves once akaza said that he was getting predictable

(well he said he “ran out of water breathing forms” but same thing)

so its kinda bland lol

speaking of giyuu, his whole thing with his insecurities of being weak wasnt handled well (it was sort of immediately brushed off in pillar training, and its unclear what part of his character arc he was in)

like sure him announcing that he’s going to protect tanjirou is cool but it feels like he was haphazardly dropped into the tanjirou and akaza conflict

isnt he supposed to be both their foils? that wasnt really explored that well in this fight and theres no deep meaning behind him even being here just analyzing what he did in it

he could have been handled better or even given more focus is what im saying

the anatta state came out of nowhere, im sorry okay? just bc inosuke like barely hinted at not being able to sense grandma hisa bc she had no fighting spirit and tanjurou magically taught his son how to achieve this state doesnt mean it was properly integrated into the fight

if the anatta state was actually explored prior to this battle, i would have given it a pass but it just feels like a cheap and poorly developed trick to get around akaza’s technique development (which is overpowered as fuck might i add)

gotouge should have just given akaza a plausible weakness to his technique development instead, especially since they dont use or even mention the anatta state after this

the transparent world shit makes no sense but ill elaborate on that in the koku battle analysis

oh and this thing doesnt affect the score but why wasnt there a “yoriichi visage overlapping” moment when tanjirou was fighting akaza? hes an upper moon, he should have gotten those visions but he didnt

for some reason

anyways this battle was alright and has good set up but the middle and end parts didnt hold up as well bc random concepts were thrown at us without prior explanation or development

VS DOUMA

[Image Description: Manga panel of Douma licking Shinobu’s butterfly pin. There are two text bubbles around him saying “Anyway, tonight is a good night. Such fine feasts keep showing up one after another.” End Image Description.]

9/10

damn, such an amazing fight

the build up to this was properly foreshadowed

shinobu finally showing her true anger after hiding it for so long is amazing

douma is a super interesting character and fantastic villain

shinobu showing off her true power and determination against douma was sooooo nice

shinobu’s poisonous body plan is so clever and so interesting

if i was to rate the shinobu part of the fight alone, it would have gotten a 10/10 no question

the reason why its knocked down a point is because of the kanao and inosuke part

dont get me wrong, the way kanao is able to hold her own against douma by herself is pretty cool, how shes meant to parallel douma with their similar struggles surrounding human emotions and demonstrate how she has grown as a person, how she regains the ability to cry

that shit is cool, inosuke also getting in touch with his emotions after learning what happened to his mom was super neat as well

however

bc this battle takes place in the final arc with everything else, there wasnt proper build up regarding many things, the kotoha reveal especially

so inosuke feels kinda forced into the kanao shinobu and douma conflict, similar to how giyuu felt forced into the tanjirou and akaza conflict

its quite unfortunate bc if the kotoha stuff was actually explored prior to the confrontation, this “forced” feeling would have disappeared

i know some people have suggested that the douma fight should have just been its own arc, and i very much agree, it would have certainly helped fix this problem regarding inosuke and kotoha

last random thought, i wish shinobu, kanao, and inosuke got their demon marks

VS KOKUSHIBOU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kokushibou looking directly at the viewer, holding the hilt of his blade as if he’s going to pull it out. There are text boxes around him saying “This... is Upper Moon One... He’s so different compared to the other Upper Moons. He looks so dignified and majestic.” The text boxes are narrated by Tokitou Muichirou. End Image Description.]

5/10

this fight is... mediocre

at least theres a more tangible connection between muichirou and kokushibou

even though that was handled kinda poorly

tbh there really was no point to revealing that mui is koku’s descendant like at all, it just had no significant bearing to the plot of the fight

sanemi’s backstory being here is... okay ig?

idk the whole shinazugawa conflict has fundamental problems that i just cant think of any other place to put it without changing the entirety of canon

the marechi blood concept coming back was nice though

genya is there

him getting his bda was cool and helped turn the tide of the battle in a satisfying way (before kicking the bucket but thats not the focus here)

gyomei is a hollow husk of a character who barely got anything at all

but his fighting style is extremely cool and conveys his immense power very well

oh and him and sanemi are amazing at working together, like better than giyuu and tanjirou, and better than kanao and inosuke

theyre that good yet pretty much nobody acknowledges it which is sad

koku himself is pretty interesting and pretty tragic, very nice villain

but everyone together?

gonna be honest but this is such a random collection of characters, there was basically no foreshadowing that these four were going to go up again kokushibou, they are not that connected very well

i know there was this one post that focused on the theme of family that was common in all 5 characters in the fight but its just not enough

it would have been more cohesive if gotouge emphasized gyomei, mui, sanemi, and genya being like different aspects of yoriichi coming together to kill kokushibou hundreds of years after yoriichi failed to kill him

lmao its not like the 4 of them defeated koku with the power of family or friendship, they just smacked him over and over with a flail, shot him with magical bullets, and stabbed a crimson sword into his abdomen

wouldnt have been too hard to switch over to koku’s pov and go “damn these bitches are like my stupid brother”

...

speaking of crimson swords

i fucking hate the crimson sword concept oh my god can i complain about it now? im gonna complain about it now

unlike demon marks, the crimson blades werent even given any proper conditions, you just hold the stupid thing hard enough and it somehow imbues it with magical properties with no logic behind those properties

what part of crimson swords completely destroys a demon’s body in an instant? even muzan didnt go through that process when he was almost killed by yoriichi so where in the goddamn fuck did it come from

it could be explained bc the sword was left in the same spot for a long time but this tactic doesnt even appear again in a meaningful way (didnt kill muzan when tanjirou and giyuu held the sword together) so what the fuck was the point of having this even exist

its so underdeveloped and confusing and i hate it

the transparent world stuff is also confusing as shit and its pretty much never explained how they work aside from the vague “close your mind” advice, like why did it exist, it did nothing to help the present day demon slayers

its just so... poorly integrated

yeah anyways this is around the same rating as the akaza fight but a little worse bc there wasnt that strong set up beforehand

VS KOKUSHIBOU (SENGOKU ERA)

[Image Description: Manga panel of a bag getting ripped open, pieces of a wooden flute tumbling out. End Image Description.]

10/10

easily 10/10

this fight shows the tragedy of kokushibou giving in to his envy and hatred, when yoriichi cries over seeing his own family commit terrible attrocities against the people he wanted to protect

and yoriichi dies, now carrying the fact that he couldnt even save his own brother from the influence of muzan on his conscious forever

what a sad ending for yoriichi

and after koku angrily slashes apart yoriichi’s corpse, having him find and keep the flute he gave to him when they were kids to the present day gives him a small shred of humanity in the midst of his monstrous anger

VS NAKIME

[Image Description: Manga panels of Nakime. The first one shows a low quality version of her playing her biwa. The second one is a close up of her eye. There are spiky text bubbles saying “It’s Upper Rank... 4!” End Image Description.]

0/10

no nakime backstory

not even a goddamn fight

forgettable

useless

VS MUZAN

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kibutsuji Muzan in his white-haired, mouth-covered form. There are text bubbles around him saying “Not a single one was of use to me. I will crush the demon hunters tonight. I’ll massacre them all right now.” End Image Description.]

1/10

._.

i have many complaints but ill try my best to not make this another hantengu rant section lol

first off, obanai deserved better

im serious, this poor dude was forgotten until pretty much the end when we finally get a backstory out of him

and then he died

what a waste of a potentially amazing character

mitsuri getting taken out early was ehhh

pretty sure someone else made a post about her supposedly being extremely strong but she was nerfed in this battle which i agree with

literally none of the pillars work together very well, like remember how i praised sanemi and gyomei for being super coordinated? lmao that doesnt exist anymore

you could say this is caused by desperation though and you wouldnt be wrong, its just boring to sit through

that causes issues bc this now basically requires the crimson sword and transparent world concepts to be there to spice things up

but in this fight, they do nothing in the long run (except for tanjirou using the crimson sword at the very very end)

youve already heard me talk about why those two things are super shittily integrated and i cant be bothered repeating myself so moving on

kanao, inosuke, and zenitsu

they... exist? they didnt do much tbh, which i guess is the point but like, now its boring again

nezuko could have been used as a potential way to raise the stakes and make things interesting again (like “ah shit, muzan might actually be unkillable if he gets nezuko but its okay bc shes not here- oh fuck shes here this is not good”)

but nothing came of her running off except confirmation that she became human again so whatever

uzui and shinjuro are useless, why werent they at the fight?

like they could have followed nezuko and contributed to the battle even a little but they just didnt and now theres literally no point to them appearing in this arc at all

wasted potential

tanjirou

i wish him going absolutely apeshit had actual substance behind it, like it being a part of his character arc or something

i remember having this one theory that he had a corruption arc (due to dropping his kindness thing towards demons) and i wanted this to be true so badly

but it doesnt exist

not with how the series ended

god

the only thing that saves this fight from being complete trash is tamayo’s poison thing being amazingly executed

and the part where everyone got blasted away, losing limbs and shit, that made things a little more interesting again

but thats it

VS MUZAN (SENGOKU ERA)

[Image Description: Manga panels of Kibutsuji Muzan, Tamayo, and Tsugikuni Yoriichi. The first one has Muzan and Tamayo, while the second one has Yoriichi pulling out his sword. There are text boxes saying “And the moment I met him, I understood that I was born into this world to defeat this man.” End Image Description.]

9/10

finally something good again

while short, that’s just the nature of all of yoriichi’s battles with demons

anyways pretty nice, theres a clear reason why this battle exists (shows the scenario that made the original breather get super close to defeating muzan in detail)

adding tamayo here was a nice touch

my only complaint is that it seemed extremely coincidental that yoriichi somehow developed a breathing style specifically countering muzan’s multiple organs without even knowing prior that he had all those brains and hearts floating around freely in his body

like thats kind of ridiculous, even for yoriichi whos supposed to be “blessed by the gods”

could just be me though

VS TANJIROU

[Image Description: Manga panels of Kamado Tanjirou in his demon form. The first image has his eyes closed. The second image has his eyes opened and the tumor on his face almost completely faded. There are text boxes around him saying “You will destroy the demon hunters in my stead.” End Image Description.]

1/10

hoo boy

ok first off, demon tanjirou lasted for 2 chapters

thats it

2 chapters

so thats already a problem

i am aware its meant to parallel the beginning of the series but also its ridiculous how completely vague and rushed this entire thing was

nezuko doesnt do shit through not just this battle but this entire arc which i already explained so not gonna go into it further

kanao magically having a demon cure on her made very little sense

the scene where tanjirou leaves muzan in purgatory is pretty but if you look at it in the context of everything else, its ambiguous and confusing

(if someone could explain it and see how it connects to the original theme of “demons just being victims of circumstance,” i would love to hear it)

/

actually you know what makes me so mad about this “fight” as a whole? there was so much potential to do more with this concept

and im not talking about him escaping and nezuko becoming a demon slayer roleswap au (even though its a pretty cool concept)

him becoming a demon could have been a metaphor for his lost kindness and sympathy towards demons halfway through the series

it could have been a punishment for letting his anger towards muzan cloud his judgement

it could have symbolized literally anything about him losing his humanity as he got stronger

but those three things are just scenarios from my head, they dont exist in this series just based off of what weve seen from these two chapters

its disappointing

the only thing keeping this from getting a 0 is the one part where inosuke couldnt chop off tanjirou’s head bc he cared about him too much

that at least shows inosuke had grown as a character

everything else is just meaningless and convoluted garbage and “convoluted” is not what you should be aiming for if this is supposed to be the ending of your series

IN SUMMARY

early kny is very good, later kny is questionable and the ending is just a mess of wasted potential and disappointment

i get why gotouge had to have the transparent world ability, crimson blade ability, and the demon marks appear before they all appeared on yoriichi but theyre all just so underdeveloped and terribly handled in the battles they are used, it makes me want to kick a wall

like lmao, i could literally think of so many ways they could have been properly integrated, hell, im even writing a whole goddamn rewrite using my ideas for these three things (link to that is in my pinned)

just, god

if you want to debate over these ratings, my ask box is open ig? idk

#kny #kimetsu no yaiba #kny meta #demon slayer #my writing #long post

[lupinzapezit]

hello i thought it was probably time for a state of the blog update so,,, if you wanna know where ive been and whats happening read below (tw for mental health / s.uicide mentions)

if you do read, please like this post just for my own knowledge

okay so first of all i rly hate to be making this post because i absolutely hate being that person in the rpc who just constantly whines and guilt trips people over their own mental health without taking steps irl to work on it. im not gonna go into a lot of detail bc frankly its a lot and i dont super feel like it. (also i feel like its only kinda acceptable when the Big Blogs post a lot of ooc which i am definitely not, like my value is only tied to how much content i output but thats something im working on in my own time and not anyones fault persay)

basically i had a lot of shit happen at the end of 2019 that cause me to go into a very low period and while i was working on improving from that time, obviously the world had different plans plus last year was my final year of uni. i moved out in february this year in the hopes that it would continue to help me heal but along with the fallout of some other events, it’s left me incredibly alone and with a fraction of the support network i once had. june was extremely rough for me where i attempted twice and nearly didnt make it to my 21st birthday.

pretty much with working in customer service and australia being in and out of lockdown constantly (which makes my work much busier because people contact us when they cant go into stores), ive barely had any room to breathe or to try and work through things? and because writing is tied to my goal career of film and thats been difficult as well, you can probably guess why ive been struggling lately to be on tumblr and to write.

now dont get me wrong i adore my muses and being able to write. bucky has been an extremely fun and interesting character for me to explore. i literally never thought i’d end up writing a marvel muse and its caused a lot of hesitation due to how i approach him and feeling insecure. which is fine! thats natural! and ive been doing my best not to project those insecurities onto the dash and my partners but because of how poor my mental health is lately, that means ive just been very inactive. tumblr has always felt like a place where if you’re not constantly active then you lose people and while i know that’s not necessarily the case, it’s still a struggle. when i am here, it just feels like yelling into a void which is not a great motivator.

so what does this actually mean? tbh i’m still trying to figure that out. i made this blog initially with the intent of it being quite small and focused on character exploration n the like and i do still want to keep that goal. there’s a lot to bucky i still very much want to write and explore which i havent because of various reasons. i dont necessarily want to leave but i feel increasingly unsure about my presence which sucks because i have made some very good friends in the last year and a bit stint ive had on tumblr since leaving my old main rpc. i dont really want to give up this passion. 

for the time being, i’m probably still going to be low activity and my presence on the dash will be minimal. if that turns you off, feel free to soft block or unfollow. you can tailor your own experience the way you want. replies are probably going to be more queued and i wanna put a stronger emphasis on longer threads and character/dynamic development as i originally intended. again thats not everyone’s cup of tea so if you wanna leave then feel free. but atm i dont really feel connected to my partners and mutuals which sucks and i wanna improve on that. btw if you are reading this and youre down with this, message me and say hi!! i know that tumblr rp has developed this culture of not approaching people (and i struggle w this too) but the easiest way to plot with me is just to ask.

so yeah! tldr; brain extremely sucks, been feeling very disconnected and uncertain about my muse/writing capabilities/general self esteem, trying to work on that by taking things at my own pace and having bigger threads/metas more infrequently. i’ll still be more active on discord of course but hopefully these steps will help me feel a bit better about being here. 

thanks for reading all of this if you did, i really appreciate it :)

#ooc. #negative // #suicide mention / #i'll probably rb a few times for when people are active on different timezones #also idk if this makes any sense but. yeah