#i know they probably just wanted to give jordan a Reason for leaving but??? literally his episode with macy had the exact same premise... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

corporatefrog · 1 year

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꒦‧₊ ꒷ headcannons: team stan with a careless friend✧.*

✧.* tags: college au

✧.* Characters: kenny mccormick, kyle broflovski, stan marsh, eric cartman, butters stotch

a/n: I usually don't add cartman to these things bc he stinks+loser+annoying+suckmydick but I know he'd take advantage of someone who hod so sense of mortality so he gets a pass this time ig.

masterlist

Kenny

He mistakes the carelessness for spontaneity and immediately assigns you as his go to “lets do something stupid I just thought of” partner

He’s a “try everything once” kind of guy so it’s perfect that you have no sense of self preservation

“Kenny stand on the other side of the field, I wanna see how far I can throw my phone.”

“Okay.”

You both infuriate stan to no end

#annoyingduo in the best way possible

Do NOT put the two of you in the same room at a party

All of a sudden there’s a 15 person game of just dance happening but there’s no screen?? You’re all just doing moves you saw on just dance

Everyday is a new adventure

Kenny probably has an eye out for you though

He can die doing something stupid and be back the next day but you on the other hand are not

Gotta keep his partner in crime alive! There’s a bunch of other things on his “before I die (for real)” bucket list that you still need to mark off

Kyle

You just get caught up in the moment! You have such a wonder for life!

Kyle doesn’t get it sometimes seeing as he tries to view everything logically.

He’s more like a babysitter when you both go somewhere

“You did not just spend $300 on knock off jordans from a random man on the street corner.”

“I did and they’re the comfiest shoes I’ve ever worn. He told me they’ll cure my posture problems.”

“Do you just believe anything someone tells you?”

“Coming from someone who almost cried when I didn’t use his Candy Crush referral code so he could get more lives, that’s really rich.”

Okay so he gets swept up in trends sometimes. At least he understands his own mortality!

After the third time you try to learn how to do a backflip and fail miserably, he has to leave the room to keep from screaming

keeps a mental count of the things you do every day that should kill you

the current record is 14

Stan

He doesn’t understand how you can just go through your day without a care

Are you not afraid of dying? That’s like 32% of his thoughts during the day

“Fuck I dropped my credit card down the drain. Stan, hold my ankles while I reach down to grab it.”

“I can literally see the used heroin needles down there.”

“Okay and??? Not my fault the city doesn’t have a safe use zone, I need that card!”

One time you guys were leaving a store and the alarm went off

Stan turned to ask you if you got the security tags removed but you we’re already sprinting halfway across the mall

Not because you stole anything, but because you saw jimmy, clyde, and tolkien walking out of a store and wanted to say hi

And then you spent the rest of the day being lectured by an underpaid paul blart wannabe

Stan was freaking out because he thought you would get arrested for causing a scene or something (they find any reason to arrest someone in south park)

But all you did was laugh in that light hearted, careless way you always do

Cartman

Bro will manipulate your carelessness for all its worth

You are now the second person he calls when he has some stupid plot that needs someone who doesn’t understand the concept of death

If kenny’s busy, you’re on speed dial

Honestly, you’re probably the first call because you’ll do something stupid without needing to be paid!

Free labor!

Wanna work at dicknbaus hot dogs for 14 hours with no pay? It’s free hotdogs! You’re in!

Hes an exploitative motherfucker

Thats all im here to say about it

butters

You’re going to give him a heart attack

One time you purposely kicked a medicine ball to see how far it would go and broke your foot

And he was more worried about your foot than you were!

“Oh jesus, can you move it?”

“Um… no I don’t think so. Lemme take off my sock”

“AH ITS PURPLE!”

“Oh damn, you’re right. That’s a nice shade though, I was thinking of painting my room that color!”

“NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE TALKING ABOUT THIS”

Unlike kyle, he can’t force himself to ignore your careless nature

He’s always worrying about you

He’ll suggest you both go to first aid classes or cpr training whenever you hang out “just for fun!”

but really he needs to know that you at least have some first aid knowledge if you're going to keep running around like death is a social construct

#you can't care about living if you're in south park tbh #there's a level of idiocy that's necessary to survive there lmao #south park #south park headcanons #south park x reader #stan marsh #kyle broflovski #kenny mccormick #eric cartman #butters stotch #corporatefrog

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thelonechaosgoose · 4 months

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I have recently learned that I like pretty much every book I have to read in English class so have this short long rambling essay on The Great Gatsby.

The whole story makes me sad. It is full of missed opportunities and greed and rich people who have no concern for other people. It's about hope and dreams and a false sense of happiness. Gatsby throws these elaborate parties for one person who doesn't even know he's there. He invites important people to try and get the attention of one girl. When that girl finally sees him, everything begins to fall apart. There is a short period of happiness and hope and light. But that ends almost as quickly as it began. Daisy and Tom's marriage was never real. It was never full of equally returned love. Tom was always with someone else. Even if Daisy said she loved Tom, it wasn't always sincere. Things could've been so good. But the morals of all of these people messed things up. Nick being caught up in all of this made things even sadder. He just wanted to get away from the boring life he had and sell bonds. He didn't deserve any of this. He was stuck inbetween people's secrets and messy lives. It's no wonder he wanted to leave New York and all of them behind. They're all terrible. I mean Gatsby wasn't awful but his obliviousness to the situation and his endless hope and belief that Daisy would go with him after the fight made him a frustrating character. Especially to Nick. The way Gatsby made his money wasn't entirely lawful but I know for a fact he wasnt as bad as Tom. Nick tried to help Gatsby but in the end he gave up. Another point is that if Daisy had waited just a little longer, she could've had a happier life. Even if Gatsby made his money in an unlawful way, they probably would've been happier than she was with Tom. Her happiness was a mask to how she really felt. We only really get glimpses of this but when she talks to Nick about the birth of Pammy, Daisy's daughter, she wants her to be a fool. She wants her to be a fool so that she won't have to deal with the terrible-ness of the outside world. Daisy also was involved in 2 (two) murders! The obvious one being Myrtle. The irony of this is that she kills the woman her husband is having an affair while she's having an affair. The other possibly less obvious one is of course Gatsby. Since she hit Myrtle, she caused Wilson to go to Tom who told him it was Gatsby which then gives Wilson the ammo to shoot Gatsby in his pool. Tom could've told Wilson that it was Gatsby for two reasons. One, he actually thought it was Gatsby. Or, two, he said it was Gatsby to protect Daisy. I think it was the second one. After the fight, Tom knows that Gatsby has lost and he has won. He wants everything to go back to how things were. When he had control over his life. He probably figured out it was Daisy and threw Gatsby under that bus so that they could leave and start over again. Moving on from that mess, I want to talk about Jordan and how awful she is. She was not phased about anything that happened. After the fight and the accident she asked Nick if he wanted to come inside for dinner and hang out after they had literally just seen a dead body. It definitely helps to show that the only people effected by any of this are Nick, Gatsby, and Wilson. Two of which are dead. Gatsby spent the past five years of his life trying to get Daisy back for it only to end in his premature death. Also the fact that Nick was all Gatsby had makes this even more tragic. Even After all the parties and all the business associates, he is still alone and nobody cared about him. He dedicated his life to Daisy and all he got in return was a tiny sliver of happiness.

thank you for coming to my super long Ted talk <3

#the great gatsby #jay gatsby #nick carraway #jordan baker #tom buchanan #daisy buchanan

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apocalypticavolition · 7 months

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Let's (re)Read The Great Hunt! Chapter 14: Wolfbrother

If Robert Jordan can reuse chapter titles, I can reuse post images even if they make absolutely no sense in this current context! Anyway. Yadda yadda yadda, spoilers for the entirety of the series, blah blah blah, do not continue if you don't want that, something something something, by clicking Keep Reading you agree to agree with everything I say, hmm hmm hmm, all very standard and completely enforceable not that anyone could possibly object to those terms, let's get started!

So since I'm not in the groove, last time I forgot to do the chapter icon. This time I won't do that: the icon is wolf. This is probably not a surprise considering the chapter title. It certainly won't surprise anyone to learn that this is a Perrin chapter about Perrin doing Wolfbrother things. Last chapter involves even less surprises! It had an all-new icon, the Portal Stone. I refuse to believe any of you need me to elaborate on what it stands for or why it was used last time. Thank you!

“Gone?” Ingtar demanded of the air. “And my guards saw nothing. Nothing! They cannot just be gone!”

Rand's channeler madness is infectious, what with Ingtar trying to have a conversation with the sky. Then again, I'd wonder if I was going mad under these conditions myself: three dudes all gone, two of them incredibly conspicuous, horses missing with them, not a single track.

Mat shrugged. “I don’t know. Rand was. . . .” Perrin wanted to throw something at him, hit him, anything to stop him, but Ingtar and Uno were watching.

Perrin doesn't often get to be a bro to Rand (and frankly even fewer chances to be one to Mat), so it's always very sweet to see that he actually is very much best friends with the guy, even if Rand's acting stupid.

“Why would Hurin leave like that, in the middle of the night, without a word? He knows what we’re about. How am I to track this Shadow-spawned filth without him? I would give a thousand gold crowns for a pack of trail hounds. If I did not know better, I would say the Darkfriends managed this so they can slip east or west without me knowing. Peace, I don’t know if I do know better.”

Ingtar is pretty sure he knows the capabilities of the Darkfriends they're chasing since he let them in, but after this it's not unreasonable to doubt. And frankly, with Fain being Fain, he does not know better at all.

Serves me right for what I told Rand. I wish I could run.

Another reason nobody talks to anybody else in this story is that every time they do, everyone takes each other's advice in the worst way possible. Rand has literally run away from the timeline, which is one step less reasonable than trying to launch himself into orbit. I wouldn't talk to him after that either, I'd be worried my suggestion he should eat something be followed up by finding him with half his horse in his stomach and the other half not having had time to die yet.

His thoughts drifted, feeling for what must be out there, what was always out there in country where men were few or far between, feeling for his brothers. He did not like to think of them that way, but they were.

Really another big problem Jordan had in his Perrin plotting is that he stopped forcing the kid to escalate his power use the way that Rand and the Wondergirls had to. Like, this book he willingly talks to the books, next book he'll willingly run through T'A'R, and by the end of book six he's commanding an army of wolves... and then he just stagnates. He does get to run away from being a werewolf for the rest of Jordan's books, so Sanderson has to do an absolute rush job to make Perrin able to play at everyone else's power level.

It was a faint picture of a man dressed in clothes made of hides, with a long knife in his hand, but overlaid on the image, more central, was a shaggy wolf with one tooth longer than the rest, a steel tooth gleaming in the sunlight as the wolf led the pack in a desperate charge through deep snow toward the deer that would mean life instead of slow death by starvation, and the deer thrashing to run in powder to their bellies, and the sun glinting on the white until it hurt the eyes, and the wind howling down the passes, swirling the fine snow like mist, and. . . .

Weirdly, the first time I tried to copy this segment my computer decided that I clearly instead wanted to copy-paste a screengrab of a Discord conversation that hadn't been in the clipboard for some time.

We should not let my computer's clinical insanity distract us from appreciating how awesome Elyas's wolf name is (though "long in the tooth" meaning what it does, it feels a bit inadvertently mean).

It was not the image he had made, a young man with heavy shoulders and shaggy, brown curls, a young man with an axe at his belt, who others thought moved and thought slowly. That man was there, somewhere in the mind picture that came from the wolves, but stronger by far was a massive, wild bull with curved horns of shining metal, running through the night with the speed and exuberance of youth, curly-haired coat gleaming in the moonlight, flinging himself in among Whitecloaks on their horses, with the air crisp and cold and dark, and blood so red on the horns, and. . . . Young Bull.

Perrin's wolf name is better though, which is 50% why he hates it. The other half is the way it immortalizes his trauma, but boo hoo Perrin learn to love killing Whitecloaks now, you'll be better off in two books if you do.

The one time he had gone to the dungeon, with Egwene, the smell of Fain had made his hair stand on end; not even Trollocs smelled so foul. He had wanted to rip through the bars of the cell and tear the man apart, and finding that inside himself had frightened him more than Fain did. To mask Fain’s smell in his own mind, he added the scent of Trollocs before he howled aloud.

It is a damn shame you didn't kill him while you had the chance, Perrin.

Howled aloud. Those poor Borderlanders, horses, and also Mat I guess. They're worried about three dudes disappearing without a trace, some of them are probably convinced channeling was involved, and now one of the foreign hangers-on is howling.

Their fury infected him. His lips peeled back in a snarl, and he took a step, to join them, run with them in the hunt, in the killing. With an effort he broke the contact except for a thin sense that the wolves were there. He could have pointed to them across the intervening distance. He felt cold inside. I’m a man, not a wolf. Light help me, I am a man!

Dude is going crazier than the male channeler in the party is. Kind of a shame he didn't have a real madness arc like Rand's; maybe Jordan kinda planned on it but ditched it for various reasons including redundancy?

“I have heard of things like this,” Ingtar said slowly, after a moment. “Rumors. There was a Warder, a man called Elyas Machera, who some said could talk to wolves. He disappeared years ago.”

That's hella convenient. You'd think they'd try to hush up Machera's disappearance as much as possible. Who told?

A few of them looked skeptical—Masema went so far as to spit—but Uno nodded thoughtfully, and that was enough for most. Mat was the hardest to convince. “A sniffer! You? You’re going to track murderers by smell? Perrin, you are as crazy as Rand. I am the only sane one left from Emond’s Field, with Egwene and Nynaeve trotting off to Tar Valon to become—”

I mean, Masema and Mat aren't technically wrong in that Perrin's feeding everyone some bullshit, but really I would like Mat to look at the man whose side he's sharing and pick literally any other side. Also don't be mean about the gals.

Vultures flapping, their white wings stained red; bloody, featherless heads tearing and gorging. He broke loose before his stomach emptied itself.

I always picture vultures as desert birds thanks to cartoons and stuff but I just looked it up and apparently they like used to be in France and whatnot. Never woulda guessed. Sadly their modern range in the Old World is a little diminished, but I guess they did pretty well for themselves between the nuclear apocalypse and the magical apocalypse. Good for them!

Mat turned his horse eagerly. “Maybe it’s Rand. I knew he wouldn’t run out on me.”

Cauthor shippers resurrected after their brutal demises last chapter. Also it's great that Mat knows that even after their pissy fights with each other they're still friends.

“Moiraine Sedai sent me, Lord Ingtar,” Verin announced with a satisfied smile. “She thought you might need me...”

Well obviously this statement is 100% true and certainly not a bald-faced lie. Even if we wanted to pretend that for some reason Moiraine didn't immediately induct Verin into her inner circle off-screen, Verin has every reason to think that Moiraine sent her. Remember this little bit from Chapter 7?

“Then we must find the dagger, Sister. Agelmar is sending men to hunt those who took the Horn and slew his oathmen, the same who took the dagger. If one is found, the other will be.”

We must find the dagger. By "we", it's obvious Moiraine meant the three women in the room at that moment and not the good guys as a general concept like most people would mean in casual conversation. Further, "must" was definitely being used in the sense of "this is an order that you must obey" and not just "it is imperative that this be done". Literally any other interpretation of this sentence is crazy talk, because Verin is obviously bound by the Three Oaths as a good guy and it's how she interpreted it, and definitely not to further her own ends by twisting someone else's words to the breaking point. Once she saw that neither Moiraine nor Siuan were in any hurry to recover the dagger and the horn, she was morally obligated to do so as the only other party of the "we" Moiraine so obviously meant.

Obviously. She is not suspicious at all, @checkoutmybookshelf.

“The Ogier, Lord Ingtar? And your sniffer went with him? What would those two have in common with . . . ?” Ingtar gaped at her, and she snorted. “Did you think you could keep something like that secret?” She snorted again. “Sniffers. Vanished, you say?”

“A new sniffer, just when you lose your old one. How . . . providential. You found no tracks? No, of course not. You said no trace. Odd. Last night.”

Verin is absolutely the best kind of Aes Sedai just for stuff like this, by the way. "Yes I know all about your dumb secrets and no obviously I'm not going to try and arrest the man, I'm not even going to try to arrest the Dragon Re-- I mean, tell me about Perrin. That's a crazy coincidence, isn't it?" Verin's not allowed to spend too much time onscreen because if she could she'd have had everything solved in three books.

They started off in a jingle of harness and armor, Verin riding close beside Ingtar and questioning him closely, but too low to be overheard. She gave Perrin a look when he tried to maintain his place, and he fell back. “It’s Rand she’s after,” Mat murmured, “not the Horn.”

Seriously, the only mistake she's made so far is letting Mat and Perrin get suspicious of her, but even then she's got them obeying her so she's doing just fine. They're not even the wrong kind of suspicious.

Perrin nodded. Wherever you’ve gotten to, Rand, stay there. It’s safer than here.

"Dramatic irony exploits the device of giving the spectator an item of information that at least one of the characters in the narrative is unaware of (at least consciously), thus placing the spectator a step ahead of at least one of the characters. Connop Thirlwall in his 1833 article On the Irony of Sophocles originally highlighted the role of irony in drama.[25][26] The Oxford English Dictionary defines dramatic irony as:[12]

the incongruity created when the (tragic) significance of a character's speech or actions is revealed to the audience but unknown to the character concerned; the literary device so used, orig. in Greek tragedy."

I left the now-useless footnotes in so it would be very obvious who I was quoting, thus exempting me from having to source them properly. Alas, this has attracted the attention of the University of Chicago Press Enforcement Bureau, so I must bid you all adieu until the heat blows over.

#let's read #wheel of time #wot #robert jordan #wheel of time spoilers #wot spoilers #perrin aybara #ingtar shinowa #mat cauthon #uno nomesta #masema dagar #verin mathwin

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thealexanderfiles · 6 months

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1. Yes, but what they know is not the full truth typically. Best example is in Young Justice, the world is made to believe their base is the Hall of Justice, when that’s just a ruse, the real base is an orbiting satellite in space called the Watchtower.

2. Yes the public knows about Batman. The degree of how much they know about him can vary by story.

3. Both? Definitely vigilante, but in Gotham that means hero.

4. Yes!! In fact, my favorite interpretation is that people think Superman doesn’t even have a secret identity, and that his “secret identity” is as his birth self, Kal-El, and that he lives in the fortress of solitude. Lex Luthor uses xenophobia to rally people, saying that an alien shouldn’t be a protector of/champion for humanity.

5. Nightwing!!

6. Oooof there’s a lot here.

Canon I’ll go: Clark/Lous, Batman/Catwoman, Bruce/Talia, Dick/Barbara, Dick/Starfire, Tim/Stephanie, Tim/Bernard Dowd, Barry Allen/Iris West, Wally West/Linda Park, Wally West/Artemis Crock (Young Justice), Jason Todd/Artemis of Bana Migdrall (cannot spell that haha), Green Arrow/Black Canary, Harley Quinn/Poison Ivy, Raven/Beast Boy, and I’m definitely missing some but that’s what I’m thinking of rn.

Non-Canon (NOT INCLUDING BATCEST OR ANY OTHER INCEST/AGE-DIFFERENCE SHIPS!!): Batman/Superman, Batman/Superman/Wonder Woman, basically Batman/anyone on the JL besides Shazam, Dick Grayson/Wally West (love this one), Jason Todd/Roy Harper, Tim Drake/Kon Kent, Tim Drake/Kon Kent/Bernard Dowd, Damian Wayne/Jon Kent, Hal Jordan/Barry Allen, Ted Kord (Blue Beetle)/Booster Gold (practically canon lol), Stephanie Brown/Cassandra Cain, and I’m definitely missing some but that’s what I’m thinking of rn.

7. Really really really really weird.

8. Jon Kent is the second main universe Superboy!! He is the son of Lois and Clark, and is Damian Wayne’s best friend. Recently, he was aged up for various reasons, so he’s roughly 18 I THINK, which puts him a few years ahead of Damian which made people Not Thrilled. He has operated (and I think technically still is operating) as Superman himself, and he is bisexual!!

9. Yep still Nightwing (Dick Grayson). Stephanie Brown, Damian Wayne, and Tim Drake are up there too.

10. I have a FEW: Donna Troy, Cassie Sandsmark, Duke Thomas, Carrie Kelly, and I’m definitely missing some but that’s what I’m thinking of rn.

11. Okay so the college thing I believe is a fanon thing, but I love it. She is a psychologist or psychiatrist (can’t remember which rn), though her license has probably been revoked several times over by now. She did leave the joker, and has an amazing girlfriend (Poison Ivy) now. She and Batman aren’t friends-friends, but they aren’t particularly enemies either. Fanon will fluctuate with that though. Take your pick!

12. Yes!! The secret Batfamily stuff is a non-canon compliant fanon trope (that I do love to read and see, but don’t want in canon)

13. Depends on who you ask. Truly. He has done some bad stuff to his kids in the comics, but that’s what happens when hundreds of writers and artists all give their own take on the character, over now almost 100 years. I personally prefer Good Dad Batman, and tenddddd to choose to ignore the terrible things he did in canon on occasion. Others don’t, and that’s okay.

(Also for the Jason Todd anon: literally just WFA for free)

Hi! i hope you got done what you needed to get done nad have been having a good day :)

anyway, omg thanks for clearing up some confusion, would love to hear your 'personal canon' is that like a collection of headcanons or fanon or is it a bunch of small canons that fit together? sorry if this doesn't make sense. Is it, like, something you have it nailed down or do you see something, think, 'oh thats neat' and add it to your collection?

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thelivingautomaton · 8 months

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welcome back to "additional galaxy brain thoughts on the wheel of time". today i will be Considering(TM) book 3 and the first ten or so chapters of book 4, mostly repeating and building off of my livetweets. tl;dr: robert jordan is a genius and i am the chucklefuck going insane over The Narrative Of It All

now that we're making good headway into the books, i think it's interesting that rather than grouping thoughts/observations based on concrete material stuff (i.e. events, lore, characters), i feel like i can start grouping observations based on narrative themes and motifs that keep cropping up, so let's start by talking romance

okay so like. i do kind of get why people think the way robert jordan writes (or rather, doesn't write) romantic relationships is weird, and i DO kind of wish that he did a better job of like, threading the line between "i am going to leave explicit conversations and thoughts about romantic feelings unsaid and let the reader see what's going on through the actions of pov characters, knowing that they have to filter a character's thoughts and words through said character's inherently unreliable/biased perspective" and skipping straight to "these characters have now Realized their feelings and are just going to speak them out loud now even if it feels like there's been little to no buildup"

that being said. i think it's a fascinating way to actually depict romantic arcs, because to a certain extent it feels...true? like, sometimes people really do be completely oblivious about their own feelings for the longest time, and then all of a sudden they have some epiphany for no real reason and are like "oh shit i love this person!" or alternatively "oh shit i DON'T love this person!" also rj gave himself a built-in excuse by being able to handwave and go "idk, ta'veren!" which is honestly a little based of him

(i will probably talk more about this downthread but rand just casually warping the pattern as he's making his way to tear and the way that that manifests as like...townsfolk deciding en masse to marry each other, or defeating whitecloaks by making them look foolish without undue violence, or giving a starving town a bountiful harvest? makes me insane to think about from both a worldbuilding/narrative perspective -- literally what if you were a walking hurricane of Narrative pulling threads and lives after you in your wake, literally WHAT IF -- and also a character perspective, because it gives SO MUCH insight into rand as a person that THAT'S how his ta'veren magic manifests. anyways)

i think that of the various romantic entanglements that have really happened so far, this worked best for depicting perrin and faile BY FAR, which feels like maybe a hot take? but my GOD their relationship makes me feel crazy in the best way. i'm already a sucker for the slap-slap-kiss dynamic, but i also adore how faile initially sees perrin as a puzzle she wants to figure out and how she's so good at putting some pieces together (like that an aes sedai, a warder, and an ogier all together must be important, and mysteries like that will lead her either to the horn or just to being part of a big important story), and how she's the only person that really makes perrin lose his cool and speak without thinking (the scene where he and then moiraine accidentally blab everything about the dragon and the horn already being found was fucking hysterical).

AND THEN PERRIN GOING IN TO TEL'ARAN'RHIOD TO RESCUE HER???? and swearing that after this he'll only call her faile like she wants??? freeing her first as his wolf-self (which, also: insane concept, love it, thank you rj) but then finding a door and chains he can't break as a wolf, so he has to manifest himself as a man and a blacksmith and use the hammer? AND THEN WAKING UP AFTER BEING MAULED BY DREAM BIRDS WITH FAILE LEANING OVER HIM AND HE JUST WHISPERS "my falcon"????????? FUCKING. AUGH

so like, it WAS a jarring surprise in a way at the start of book 4 that suddenly perrin and faile were definitively In An Established Relationship, but then i thought about it for 3 seconds and was like, okay actually maybe they didn't need to have an explicit "i have feelings for you" scene. maybe "my falcon" WAS that scene. your honor i love them

by contrast a lot of the other romantic relationships have had a lot less focus or screen time that ISN'T just "uh oh, suddenly i realize i have feelings for this person but can't act on them for xyz reason", i.e. nynaeve/lan, rand/elayne, and rand/min (ESPECIALLY rand/min, although conceptually i'm kind of obsessed with Guy Who Is The Narrative's Biggest Chewtoy falling in love with Girl Who Sees The Narrative Most Unambiguously But Cannot Affect It) which is why i think they fall a little more flat for me, at least currently

that being said, i can largely get behind rand/elayne based on their first meeting in the palace garden (oh to be a farmboy with a concussion and have your wounds delicately bandaged by the daughter-heir with her own richly-woven kerchief!) and the scene where they tell each other that they're "very fond" of the other, which was SO cute and dorky

it's funny in a way because i almost feel like the romantic scenes between two characters in love are more of an afterthought than scenes where characters who are friends talk ABOUT their romantic feelings for others and how to go about dealing with them, because THOSE scenes really shine with how much light they shed on the non-romantic interpersonal connections

specifically thinking here of the one-two combo of moiraine briefly making a comment to the girls about her own romantic prospects (or lack thereof) followed by nynaeve bringing egwene and elayne wine so the three of them can talk about rand and what to do with elayne's feelings, egwene's lack thereof, and how to deal with berelain

(sidenote: you truly have to hand it to berelain for the hustle and the chutzpah to just directly walk into the dragon reborn's chambers, hair done face beat tits out, and ask if he's DTF)

anyway i love those kinds of scenes because they just feel so NORMAL, you know? like, the girls are, politically and magically speaking, three of the most important people on the god damn continent. but they're also teen girls! (except nynaeve who's like, 24, but you know what i'm getting at) they're gonna have normal girl talk! it's gonna be filtered through their extreme circumstances but they're gonna have normal-ass wants and feelings and desires!

also sorry but it will never not be funny to have a compare-and-contrast switch of povs in the middle of a chapter, like egwene leaving rand thinking "aw, i know he was lying when he said he also didn't love me, at least he's not taking it too hard!" and immediately going to rand thinking "i....don't think egwene believed me about me loving her like a sister"

when's mat gonna fall in love huh. like on the one hand i think it'd be neat to represent the full spectrum from "immediate established relationship" (perrin and faile) to "relationship that takes time to figure out" (rand and elayne/min) to "no relationship, just vibes" (mat) but on the other hand it would be SO FUNNY.

actually this kind of dovetails nicely into my next group of thoughts, which is mat cauthon: the rogue of all time

i'm dedicating an entire bullet list to him because book 3 is the first we get with his pov and his real character (without an evil dagger eating his soul) and good fucking GOD

this man really woke up from his magic coma, ate the equivalent of 4 full meals, walked outside, challenged TWO skilled swordsmen to a fight, WITH HIS QUARTERSTAFF, purely for shits and giggles. AND THEN HE WINS. and then has to prop himself up on his quarterstaff so he doesn't immediately fall over. THE SCENE OF ALL TIME

(sidenote: i am continually surprised by how much i like galad and gawyn. i think there's something interesting to be said about how they serve as parallels/foils to rand, but also, i would like to see more of them, and i would like to see more of the goofy-ass sibling dynamics between gawyn, galad, and elayne. thank u)

and like, he literally just DOESN'T STOP being The Most Guile Hero Rogue Ever. getting his hands on the amyrlin seat's "i can do what i want" permit! breaking in to the palace in caemlyn so he can actually literally give elayne's letter to morgase with his own hands like he promised! (sidenote, i have a lot of percolating thoughts about mat's luck and love him testing things to see how it works, like figuring out that it works best when it's random -- my additional takes are that it also only works for things he outright says or promises he'll do, a la "making a wager", and that it works better the more the odds are against him. fucking immaculate concept, thank you for this rj.) blowing a hole in the side of the impenetrable fort with fireworks he's been carrying around for half the book!

but i also think he's such an interesting counterpart to rand and perrin because (like lanfear points out in her dialogue with him) he's the only one of the three ta'veren who DOESN'T have to be tempted to glory, who DOES want to be more than a farmer/shepherd/blacksmith

...i was about to add "who ISN'T running from his role in the narrative" except then i realized: that's actually not true at all, mat is 100% running from his role in the narrative just like rand and perrin, he's just doing it in a different way (i.e. embracing his weird ta'veren magic but running from the deeper implications of why he has that magic and what he should bend it towards beyond just "fuck bitches get money")

...which then dovetails nicely into my next thoughts, Dear God The Narrative Of It All

THE NARRATIVE OF IT ALL!!! the boys each dealing with the inner conflict between refusing their role, embracing it for the wrong/selfish reasons, and fulfilling it because it's their duty and nobody else can do it and it has to be done! MY GODDDDDDDDDD

i think this manifests in the most interesting way with the bubble of evil scene at the start of book 4, specifically how what manifests for the three boys is a personification/symbolic representation of each of their respective conflicts: perrin versus the axe, mat versus the cards (i.e. his luck), and rand versus his reflections

and each of those fights has some specific details that make it really clear imo that what they're fighting is themselves, or a subconscious part of themselves. the axe tries to kill faile as well as perrin, and perrin thinks that if his own axe harms her he might actually die. mat sees the faces of nobility on the cards (the amyrlin seat, queen morgase) because he's the one who's most averse to nobility, or those in power more generally (i.e. aes sedai). rand SPECIFICALLY has to defeat his reflections by absorbing them into himself, and SPECIFICALLY thinks that if he's defeated, the reflections will fight each other until there's just one that has his face and his life and his memories...just like how his life is already being coopted and warped by the image/role that others see him as (i.e. the dragon reborn). robert jordan you are making me SICK (compliment)

also, literally every comment someone makes about how they're all changing, or specifically how rand just wants to be rand al'thor the shepherd, makes me want to scream cry and throw up. IT'S SO MUCH. my current favorite crackpot theory is that when all is said and done and the last battle is won, one of the boys, probably rand, is gonna wind up just walking off into the sunset as an anonymous traveling bard/gleeman.

like i know rand is supposed to shed his blood fighting the dark one and everyone is pretty sure he's gonna die horribly from Channeler Madness if not during the last battle, but come on. for my own sanity if nothing else i have to believe he'll get to the end alive, SOMEHOW. and like, i think it would be really beautiful if after suffering as the dragon and as a tool of the pattern, he's able to just...travel, and be free, and tell stories instead of being part of one. and he even liked playing the flute for his supper! just let me have this, PLEASE

the other big thing that has me going "oh my god the narrative of it all" is the way that dreams and the dream world are becoming bigger parts of the story, vis a vis perrin's wolf dreams and egwene using the stone ring to go into tel'aran'rhiod, as well as the sheer amount of space dedicated just to lanfear fucking with all of their dreams for no apparent reason other than being dramatic and evil. insane concepts, i love it all, i love SYMBOLISM

i had some other thoughts (mostly about the structures of books 2 and 3 being super similar but book 3 allowing the main characters to exert more agency and get pushed around by the plot less) but i think those i covered pretty well in my twitter thread. anyway i just got to the exposition dump about the redstone doorway that can answer three questions and am now eagerly awaiting the time when everyone insisting they can't or shouldn't go inside gets forced to go inside regardless and shit immediately goes fucking crazy, because it's gotta happen, right? <3

#wheel of time #wot book spoilers #oh wait one more thing: i love the aiel. i don't have anything intelligent to say about them i just love them and their multifaceted cultur #robert jordan really out here giving the girlies (me) everything they want in a massive high fantasy series!!!

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miras-ash · 11 months

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Chapter 6 of "Just as the stars love the night"

Mira's pov

4 months later

Everyone always says it will get easier with time but that is not true. It didn't get easier, it just became a habit. It hurt but I slowly came to terms with it, at least that's what I told myself. It kept me sane and so did the others in the team. Eliza's death had affected everyone especially Yumiko, Jordan and me and each of us had a different way of dealing with it.

I for one was drowning myself in work. Yumiko was constantly confronting herself and only talking about Liz which made her company really uncomfortable and Jordan was trying to be the sensible one, talking a lot to both of us, making sure we always had lunch together and even organizing therapy sessions together. He was afraid of losing us in the whole thing and even tried to stop us from getting involved in the investigation. We should stay out of it and leave it to the others. I never let him stop me from making it up to him.

While I was working through a pile of documents, Hibana entered my office.

"Oh no please not now Yumiko," I thought to myself. I had no energy for this and really needed to focus.

"MirMir I have something to tell you."

She had given me this new nickname a few weeks ago when we were in rehab together with Jordan and for once we had something to laugh about. At first I wanted to forbid her to belittle my alias but who was I to take such a little joy away from her.

"I still have plenty to do, if you remember you saddled me with the whole stack of documents."

I pointed to the stack of files in front of her before turning my attention back to the papers.

"I know and they really need to be done by Monday but trust me, you'll want to see this.... Kali and Aruni are here and it's probably not for a little chat."

Kali? What was she doing here? After we had caught her in her own base and shown her clear boundaries, we thought our paths would not cross again. Whatever she wanted could not be good. Maybe a new attempt to sic her lawyers on us.

"Where are they? Let's not waste time."

We found Jordan, Doc and Cav in the meeting room, standing at one end of the table and Kali and Aruni at the other, no one said anything and when we entered the room all eyes were on us.

The atmosphere was tense and you could literally feel it in the air. Before I could even get an idea what this was about, Kali dropped the bombshell:

"Ash is alive, I saw her..."

Had I just misheard? Had she said Eliza is alive? That wasn't possible, I saw her, went to her funeral, mourned her.

She didn't manage to finish because the usually calm Thermite suddenly exploded.

"Kali I've had enough of your shit. First you disown my family, then you almost start a war. Let some of your weapons out of your sight so they could be turned into a trap thanks to which we lost our friend and now you have the balls to show up here and spread such things? Do you actually know what you're doing?!"

I expected Kali to freak out and yell back, but she looked worriedly in my direction and spoke directly to me.

"Mira, I know we've had our problems and I've made mistakes, but give me one reason how I could benefit from such a lie. Please, I know what I saw, but she won't live much longer if we don't do something."

I didn't want to let it happen, but hope was rising in me. For the first time in almost half a year I didn't feel so lost. If there was even a spark of truth in her words, it meant that I could still save her.

Before I could think clearly again, security came into the room and led our visit away.

Stunned, I looked at the faces of the others.

"Mira, you don't really believe her, do you? She might even be in on it. Zofia and I were there when she died."

I have never been so angry at anyone, they didn't even try to do anything.

"You're lying, you weren't there, she was alone, you found her too late."

Jordan wanted to interrupt me as he had done with Kali before but I was quicker and louder, "If it was her at all, maybe we were just hoodwinked. Call me crazy, lock me away, but don't think I'm going to miss any attempt to save her if she's out there somewhere."

With that I quickly left the room and sprinted out as fast as I could.

I was still able to catch her in the parking lot.

Out of breath, I stood in front of Aruni and Kali.

"If you fuck with me, you're dead you know that?"

They both nodded in agreement.

Together we got into her car and drove off, then she began to tell what she had seen....

Ash's pov

A few hours before Kali's visit to Rainbow

I was cold, so terribly cold and my insides felt so empty. I can't feel anything else. Not the burns, not my broken bones, not my permanently battered body, not even the life that was growing inside me. Deimos had not touched me in this way since that night a few months ago and yet it had been enough to bind me to him in a macabre way. I had asked him to put an end to the haunting but probably that had been the mistake, he probably saw it as a new way to torture me so I had to carry his child.

Again and again he changed his character like in a theater play. Some days he was affectionate and worried about me, on other days he let all his anger and frustration out on me.

But from day to day I didn't mind so much, I let it pass over me, didn't speak anymore unless he asked me to and refused any food. I had hardly any strength left in my body, some days I could not even stand up. I tried to put an end to all this, I only wanted to be with my Elena. I missed her so much.

When he came to me again and wanted to be conciliatory at first but I didn't react, he fell back into his usual violent pattern and attacked me. Every time I prayed he would let it get out of hand and finally redeem me but he never did.

Only when there was a knock at the door he did let go of me.

"There's my visitor, you stay right here so nice, I'll see you in a minute. I just have something to clear up."

Deimos straightened up, took a napkin and wiped the blood from his hands that came from my split lip, then opened the door.

For a brief moment I could see the person standing behind it, waiting. Kali.

Our eyes met briefly, then the door slammed shut.

#rainbow six siege #ash #r6 ash #tom clancy #eliza cohen #mira x ash #r6s mira #mira #ash x mira #mirash #r6 kali #r6s aruni #r6 fanfiction #fanfiction

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my-life-literally · 2 years

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Red Flags III

I am sick of red flags. So here are some more:

(I just want to say that the Red Flags Part II, I wrote on his wedding day - I don’t know what is happening).

1. Do not date someone who is separated. Date someone who is fully single.

2. Do not ignore when someone lies to you so you keep talking to them and date them, and sleep with them.

3. If you call someone out for bad behaviour and they get mad at you for being at at them. Or, if they say “now you’re gonna give me shit.” Or “How many times are you going to go over this.” Or “You’re over thinking.” Or “So you could have had this conversation without me” - when you forgive them. Run.

4. Do not give people the benefit of the doubt.

5. Do not fall for flowers and candy.

6. If a guy expresses any kind of bitterness toward the way women choose or not choose men, blame women for men’s macho behaviour, thinks that paternity leave benefits women more than men, thinks that male allies are under-appreciated, pre-emptively tells you that he doesn’t want to be “told about dust bunnies or dishes,” empathizes with men who follow Jordan Peterson because “men have no role models,” tells you that “being able to physically overpower other men” is a source of confidence. Run.

7. If he calls is ex crazy. DUH L. DUUUHHHHHHHHHH. Fuck.

8. If, when you’re confronting him about lying, he says “if you keep talking about this, I am going to get more abrasive. That’s how it works.” Run.

9. If he shows he has a temper and struggles with emotional regulation.

10. If he gets angry when being held accountable.

11. if he says that “the school system is not build for boys. It’s build for girls. That’s why here are more women university students.”

Trigger warning:

12. If he says that “men have a higher suicide rate than women. As a way to say that the patriarchy hurts men more than women.

13. If he says that women do more harm to men these days than men to do women.

14. If when there is a lock-down, he says, “you women are always complaining that you don’t get any help at home, and now you can work at home.”

15. If he says, “you don’t understand the rules of engagement,” when he tells you the reason he has to buy a gun is to be prepared for conscription, or a nuclear war, or a civil war. And that those who are violent will not be bowled over by other men who are more violent. And finishes off with, “when I was a teenager my uncle asked me why kind of person do you want to be, and I said a ‘pilot.’ And my uncle said, no what kind of person do you want to be. And I thought about is and said ‘a good person.’” Meaning he will be a good guy with a gun.

16. When we tells you you should be happy you’re dating him, because you have a regular boyfriend who you can have sex with whenever you want, and don’t have to worry about dating creeps online.

17. When after a year of dating he says, “this is where they start to control me.” And you ask, “who?” and he says, “women.”

18. When he says, “I change my personality to fit every partner I am with.” In fairness he said this in the last convo and I was done by then.

That’s all I got for now. What the actual fuck was I thinking? I took a few manly things ad painted a picture of a wounded hero. When really this person was quite toxic, misogynistic, and, I believe, delusional. I was delusional in thinking that this was a good, solid healthy person. I literally took my own psychic projections of a man I would like and projected them onto him.

I cannot believe that at this age, these are the fucking red flags I need to flag for myself. And there are probably more. There is probably a Red Flags IV.

#everything L.#Red Flags III

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eaglefangz · 3 years

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thinking abt it and Why did they put jordan in the tomb of chaos w abigael when harry was such a better choice like 1) we dont have to see a black man unjustly jailed & tortured for a white woman's crimes 2) harry is perhaps the ONLY person who could say nice things abt abigael and like Mean it bc she's legit been there for him so the tension of him being their star character witness but being so Fucked Up he can't actually testify 3) i think its funny how people are addicted to messing with his head 4) if i had a nickel for every time harry was thrown into a magical prison when hes literally the nicest guy we know id have two nickels which isnt a lot but why does this keep happening

#i know they probably just wanted to give jordan a Reason for leaving but??? literally his episode with macy had the exact same premise...#anyways why wasnt harry even in this episode. he had like half a season where he spent so much time w abigael #like obvi he's not allowed to have any plots outside being macy's boytoy but like cmon....#payoff for harry & abigaels dynamic? callbacks 2 tartarus? the girls worried abt their special cracker?#could have been a good episode. could have had a runner.#charmed #s.txt #oh ALSO it would have given harry a good reason to be terrified of the perfecti enough to justify his anxiety in 3.14....#god why do cw shows DO this to me....

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butterflydm · 2 years

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wot reread: the fires of heaven (chap 51)

spoilers through the fires of heaven; vague references to the future and to one of the themes that is explored in the series but I try to keep it spoilers-lite

1. lol, back to the constant pipe-smoking. From Rand again, this time. Pipes sound so uncomfortable, always being clenched in the teeth like that. I suppose you get used to it? Sounds uncomfortable though. We also learn that ten days have passed since our last Rand & Mat chapter.

2. Selende (I think she’s a random Cairhienin noblewoman) is snuggling super-close to Rand and, for whatever reason, he doesn’t seem to feel like he can tell her to back off the way that he was willing to do with Berelain back in Tear? Not sure why, because he’s definitely still uncomfortable.

3. They’re really hammering in how unseasonably hot that it is right now. Ugh, I feel my doom approaching. Go away, hot weather. I disapprove of what you mean in this narrative.

4. Ah, he finally scares her away by talking about how saidin is gonna make him go crazy. Here he thinks about why he’s not just asking them to leave -- it only works very briefly and then they chase after him again. He’s also thinking about how he wants to build up his forces in Tear and then go after Sammael when and how he chooses, rather than rushing off in a temper.

5. Rand’s PoV of the information diet that he’s been put on: “Egwene gave him hints of things, but she saw matters from the White Tower, wherever she stood. The Aes Sedai point of view was not his.”

6. Berelain is marching north from Tear with a small army to help him. Her letter to him asked after Perrin, which baffles Rand somewhat and makes me sigh in resignation. Rand thinks it might be a good idea to put Berelain as the person in temporary charge of Cairhien, since he’s reserving the throne for a person he has not yet named on page.

7. We learn that Andor/Morgase (actually Rahvin, though no one here knows it) has claimed “half our lands west of the Alguenya” in the name of Andor. We also learn that apparently Rand was tempted by the first of the ladies that Colavaere sent to try to cozen him, until he realized who was sending them. The Maidens sent those who tried to sneak into his chambers away because they think he’s with Aviendha and Aviendha (harshly/violently) chased away the one that she found because she believes Elayne owns him. Jordan’s weird-ass gender relations strikes again. I really do dislike the whole “this person is claimed as my sexual/romantic property, regardless of their own feelings or whether or not I treat them well, so everyone else must stay away” vibe that happens a lot and that Jordan seemed really into. I cannot tell him this for obvious reasons but: hey, Jordan, your kinks were not Universal Truths about the Human Condition!

I certainly have my own share of Things I Like to Write/Read about, but I do my best not to make it sound as if that’s just How All People Are. Though I suppose I’m not the best judge on whether or not I’m successful, lol.

I do understand, from a hormonal standpoint, why Rand would have been tempted by the Cairhienin ladies at first, because his engine is literally getting revved every night by Aviendha undressing in front of him (apparently with great satisfaction these days? honestly, I wish I could get a glimpse of Aviendha PoV to know WTF she’s thinking in these moments; her motivations don’t make sense to me!) and he probably doesn’t even feel like he can take care of it himself because he’s pretty much never alone. He’s smart enough not to actually do anything, but I get why he’s tempted.

8. Ugh, I do dislike that the Maidens don’t respect Rand’s privacy when it comes to Moiraine, Egwene, & Aviendha wanting to talk to him? They don’t even give him a courtesy warning when it’s one of those three coming in, they’re just let inside his chambers. And this from Egwene is exactly what I mean when I say that I understand why Rand is frustrated: “You know what you need to know. And I will not tell you what you do not need to know.” That’s so condescending and frustrating beyond belief.

And it’s hard to try to untangle how Rand’s mental state is... which parts of his mental state is affected by the taint vs the clear trauma vs his frustration with how other people are constantly trying to keep him on an information leash. Those three things all combine together to cause him even more mental stress, I would expect. Anyway, it’s been six days since Egwene talked to Rand. And just... Rand’s frustration with how little he’d being told is so obvious and he gets absolutely nothing back from Egwene and Moiraine except a frustrating brick wall of calmness.

9. Anyway, he has received two letters from Tar Valon, one from Elaida and one from Alviarin. Elaida’s letter is short: she’s sending Aes Sedai to Cairhien to ‘escort’ him to Tar Valon with honor and respect. Alviarin’s is longer: very fawning, lots of compliments, and says she wants to serve him. He suspects Moiraine may have already read the letters as she barely looks at them. In the two letters, Rand can see the split in the White Tower and the presence of White Tower spies in the city. Moiraine actually gives him a compliment here: “You learn quickly. You will do well.”

10. Yeah, Rand has been heavily affected by his recent bout with the taint, I think. He’s now deliberately using Moiraine, Egwene, and Aviendha’s presence to throw Mat off balance and frighten him. Shadow Rising!Rand would be disappointed in him. Even early Fires of Heaven!Rand would be disappointed. Anyway, Rand sent for Mat four hours ago (as soon as he learned Mat was in the city) and now Mat is arriving.

And, again, we have random people calling Mat ‘Matrim’, pls just let people have nicknames. How did the Aiel even find out that his given name was Matrim, anyway? When he asks to go to Rhuidean in book four, he is specifically asked what name he calls himself and he says “Mat. Mat Cauthon”. Is it just That Well Known Even To Aiel that Mat is short for Matrim? Did Moiraine or Egwene tell them?

11. Actually... huh. Rand losing his protectiveness over Mat (which has come across as a normal level of protectiveness that isn’t at all controlling) coincides fairly closely with Rand’s increasing OVERprotectiveness over literally every woman who exists in the world, even his enemies who want to kill him (and this overprotectiveness of his IS frequently controlling; just ask the Maidens). That’s... interesting.

I’d chalk it up to Jordan changing characters’ backstories and relationships between books, as he has done before (ex. Rand and Egwene’s constantly changing backstory), except that it’s definitely been happening over the course of The Fires of Heaven (because Rand was protective over Mat when it came both to the Darkhound attack and to Moiraine’s interest in Mat’s medallion at the start of the book).

Three possible factors spring to mind, though I’m sure there are more:

Rand’s exposure to saidin/the taint itself is what is causing his weird overprotectiveness towards women, and his lessened care towards the lives of men. This theory has textual evidence but it’s mostly coincidental -- that it seems like Rand’s changes are tied to when he uses a lot of saidin.

This also may be related to Jordan’s thing about how queerness is for adolescence/single-sex environments and heterosexuality is for grownups. Because the other big event that happens in this book is Rand losing his virginity to Aviendha. And Jordan DOES have a weird thing about being queer as something you ‘grow out of’ and then go be a ‘happy heterosexual’ (the primary example being Siuan/Moiraine to Siuan/Gareth & Moiraine/Thom, but pillowfriends in general tend to follow this idea). Once Rand sleeps with a woman, his protective feelings for his male friend are now considered a hindrance to his life rather than an important part of his emotional landscape and must be tossed away. (this would likely be subconscious/unintentional on Jordan’s part tho) - and this is not a hang-up that is solely Jordan’s, to be sure. There was a huge thing a few years back where Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey fans got very frustrated with the game-makers for forcing a m/f relationship on the main character in one of the DLCs (when you had previously been allowed in-game to play the character as 100% gay if you chose, as all the romance was in the player’s hands). The ‘achievement’ for doing the DLC and having a kid with the forced m/f love interest was even called ‘growing up’, iirc.

Does Lews Therin actually know how to have friends? Legit question. At least, does he know how to have friends who are men? Because thinking back about what we know about his relationships with men during the AoL, I don’t think he has ever thought back to a strong friendship like Rand and Mat had growing up. We know he had people under his command and we know that a LOT of men were jealous of him but... did he have any friends? So it could be that LTT’s lack of understanding of How Friends Work could be contributing to Rand’s actions as LTT’s personality gets more space and time in the driver’s seat, especially when Rand doesn’t notice.

12. I will continue to evaluate as I go on. But I do note that Perrin was removed from the friend group the next book after he was paired off with Faile (he decided he couldn’t live without her at the end of TDR and then was off to his own storyline in the start of TSR); and now that Rand has officially lost his virginity, we have the upcoming separation of Rand and Mat as friends who actually get to hang out in the next book. It’s just... a potentially interesting pattern.

And one of the hallmarks of toxic masculinity is the notion that men are supposed to be stoic and aren’t allowed to share feelings with each other, only with their romantic/sexual partner, who is supposed to take on all the emotional load of the relationship (*cough* Min *cough*). And Rand is very much an exploration of the dangers of toxic masculinity, so I wonder if this is actually an intentional part of that or if this is just one of those things that Jordan thought was Just The Way The World Is.

13. Rand would like to inform us that he can see Mat’s sweaty chest because of his half unlaced shirt. Thx for the info, Rand. Mat is also wearing a silk scarf to cover up his scar from being hanged by the Eelfinn. Mat finds some security out of touching his medallion while he’s in the room with Moiraine. We learn about the Band of the Red Hand here! People (well, sigh, ‘young men’) are lining up to join. Moiraine tells us the Old Tongue name: Shen an Calhar and that they were the last to fall when Manetheren died, guarding Aemon himself.

I feel so cheated out of a ‘Mat raises Manetheren’ plotline tbh. It would have been so much more thematically appropriate than Perrin doing it. Perrin is simply not attached to the Manetheren history that way that Mat has been from the very beginning. Perrin should have been given his own narratively-relevant plotline, not taken the one that seems tailor-made for Mat!

14. Ah, the reason that Mat has only just gotten back to Cairhien is that he went to scout what was going on with the Andorans to the south/west. “Andoran supply wagons burned, outposts destroyed. And three battles. Three battles, and three victories. With small loss to your own men, though outnumbered.”

15. And Rand has a glimmer of realization about how hard he has gotten when it comes to using men, including his friends, but it’s quickly gone from his mind. Ah, MAT is the one who brings the news that Morgase is ‘dead’ (from his scouting mission). Also, Mat saying that he’s glad Elayne isn’t here to hear about her mom being dead. Aw. Also: ha, love that Rand’s plan to try to ‘soften’ Mat failed and Mat’s back just goes up. Weirdly, I also wonder if some part of Rand isn’t trying to sabotage his own plans? Because Rand SHOULD KNOW that it would just put Mat’s back up to corner him like this? It always did in the past, and it did for Rand too. It’s a Two Rivers thing. And that really does make me wonder if this is LTT’s influence, because RAND should know what Two Rivers people are like, but LTT wouldn’t.

16. Gaebril has declared himself King of Andor and of Cairhien. Okay, it also sounds like no one has officially declared Morgase dead; the official word is the Morgase is the one who made Gaebril king, but everyone is talking about how no one has seen Morgase for weeks. And Mat already knows that Gaebril was the one who wanted to have Elayne killed off back in TDR.

17. Rand’s first thought is that Elayne will ‘never forgive him’ for letting Morgase die as Rahvin’s prisoner. It makes him “quiver with fury” thinking about it. His temper is also getting worse, I think. Again, dead heat between whether this is the taint or the ptsd; though the taint is also used as a metaphor for ptsd sometimes. He is immediately too angry to go through with his plans to go after Sammael methodically and wants to go take revenge for Elayne’s sake RIGHT NOW. And he blames himself for Morgase’s death as if ‘his own hand had been on the knife’. Moiraine does convince him to hold off until ‘tomorrow’ instead of going right now to kill Rahvin.

18. Rand kicks Asmodean out when he starts playing a song called “The Fool Who Thought He Was King” and then tells Moiraine, Egwene, and Aviendha to leave so that he can talk to Mat alone. Egwene and Aviendha want to come help him with Rahvin (and Rand is still boiling over with anger inside) but he tries to tell them it’s too dangerous. And here, they call him out on being controlling & overprotective, like I just talked about above! It’s so much more extreme than he used to be at the start of this book. He did still try to protect the Maidens but he wasn’t hyper-focused on preventing Every Woman’s Death in the World like he kinda is now (he wonders here, when Moiraine mentions Lanfear, what he’ll do if she’s there with Rahvin). Rand DOES finally give in and say that they can come the next day with him to kill Rahvin. And then just as fiercely as he was trying to AVOID putting Egwene & Aviendha in danger, he tells Mat that he MUST go into danger, no choice involved. Very very changed from the start of the book!

19. Moiraine talks to Egwene and Aviendha and tells Egwene that she thinks that she handles Rand’s temper well (lol I doubt this somewhat; I guess it’s not the WORST she could have done but she could have done better too) and that Rand needs people with him who won’t be driven away by his rages (true but also... like, maybe we could TRY therapy? just a little?).

Ugh, after Moiraine leaves, Aviendha asks about whether or not the Aes Sedai in Salidar really will help Rand and Egwene warns her not to say that name in front of Rand, because he needs to be ~prepared~ first and, yes, the taint is definitely causing an increase in Rand’s temper and his paranoia, but the compete lack of trust he gets from everyone around him who claims to care about him doesn’t help, especially when they all trust each other so much more than they trust him! Egwene does think that she’s doing this for Rand’s own good, to protect him from the Aes Sedai, but she doesn’t at all consider giving Rand this information so that he can make an informed decision. And Egwene justifies this based on how Rand is behaving now but they were doing this to him BEFORE he overdosed on the taint as well. Rand has been getting the runaround from Aes Sedai since before he even knew/believed that he was the Dragon Reborn.

Egwene’s ‘protecting Rand for his own good’ thing here does very much mirror what Rand is attempting to do with them tho. They continue to be very much paralleled in their actions/behaviors.

20. Mat gets special chambers as the “young hero of the battle against the Shaido”. The argument with Rand lasted for hours, it sounds like. But Mat has noticed that he can’t seem to AVOID battles right now. The sound of the dice pretty much always means another battle over the rise, these days. He wonders if maybe he can take a ship to escape things, but figures he would manage to find a battle there, too. Anyway, what Rand wants Mat to do is take command of his Tairen army (as they move on Illian, I think?).

21. Melindhra is there in his chambers. When he tells her that he’s going to be going away for a while, ‘for Rand’ (though he’s still pondering the idea of escape), she’s annoyed. She tells him that he needs to leave behind Rand’s shadow. As soon as he mentions Caemlyn in relation to Rand, she attacks without warning. I do note that Mat’s initial thought of where to ‘escape’ to is Tear (even as he realizes that would definitely NOT remove him from Rand’s influence). When he sees her pull a knife, he instinctively throws one of his own -- a killing blow that he immediately regrets. Even as she’s dying (and tells him she always liked his ‘pretty eyes’), she tries to bring up the dagger for one last attempt to kill him, but it hits the foxhead medallion instead. He realizes that she was a Darkfriend because she says he has “the Great Lord’s own luck” when her attack fails.

22. Mat thinks about how he’s never killed a woman (...I assume he means in this life and not the past memories because I absolutely DO NOT believe that every single one of those past battles was genuinely a man-only affair). He thinks about how all he ever wants from his time with women is “a smile, a dance, a kiss, and to be remembered fondly”. He realizes that the dagger hilt she used had golden bees on it, the sign of Illian/Sammael. He thinks that she attacked because she connected him going down to Tear with him leading an army against Sammael, but the readers have additional info!

The intent of the Lanfear-Rahvin-Sammael-Graedal plan was to aim Rand at SAMMAEL, not at Rahvin, so once Mat showed that Rand was about to go off course and head to Caemlyn instead, she was the person planted to kill Mat so that Rand would get angry enough to continue to chase Sammael, who is expecting him, and not Rahvin, who is NOT expecting him.

But that is the end of Melindhra. As far as Mat’s ‘evil girlfriends’ are concerned, she is definitely my favorite, so I am kinda sad to see her go here. Goodbye, Melindhra. Also, in totally depressing news, he straight-up just sits there with her dead body for hours. Oh, bb.

#wot #wheel of time #wot reread #the fires of heaven #wot book spoilers #wot spoilers

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natbarzal · 3 years

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Mathew Barzal - Always and forever

hi guys! first of all, sorry for not posting an imagine for so long, I literally had no ideas😅

this is one of my longer pieces and I think it's quite good, so I hope you'll like it!

warnings: unplanned pregnancy

word count: 1.8k

he's so gorgeous wtf

anyway, enjoy! and please don't hesitate to give me some feedback! 💙

_________________________________________

Y/n's pov:

"Baby?" I asked Mat and looked at him as we were having a breakfast in our kitchen together.

"Yeah?" Mat responded, not looking up from his phone that he was probably scrolling through Instagram on at the moment. I hesitated for a minute, looking back down at the half eaten meal on my plate before speaking up again.

"What do you, clearly hypothetically, think about the idea of.. having kids?" I asked as I started picking at my food, my heart beating hard in my chest. When I got no answer from Mat, I looked up at him to find him looking at me with raised eyebrows.

"What?" I questioned. He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck, looking down at the table then back into my eyes as he started to speak.

"Well um.. I mean, kids are great and everything, and I would love to have children of my own at some point in the future for sure, but I think we're still a bit young for that, you know? I mean, you just turned 23 and I'm turning 24 next month." he said and took a sip of his coffee.

"Yeah.. yeah sure, you're right. We've got plenty of time." I said with a nervous laugh, hoping he wouldn't suspect anything.

"Why were you asking anyway?" he asked as he turned his attention back to his phone.

"As I said, just hypothetically." I said, forcing a little smile. He hummed before locking his phone and standing up from the table, taking his plate to the sink and finishing his coffee.

"Well I gotta go now, see you after the practice?" he asked as he came closer to me to peck my lips.

"Sure."

"I love you." he said, winking at me and giving me a cheeky smile as he walked backwards out of the kitchen.

"I love you too."

After Mat left, I sat at the table by myself for another 15 minutes, thinking about what I was going to do.

'At some point in the future'

Little did he know the point would come in less than eight months.

"So, have you told Mat yet?" Lauren, Jordan's wife, asked me excitedly while we were standing outside of the locker room after a game, waiting for our men to come out. I didn't say anything and just looked at her, the guilty look in my eyes giving the answer away.

"Y/n! Why haven't you told him yet? It'll start showing soon you know." she scolded me slightly and I looked down at my shoes, picking nervously at my nails.

"I know. It's just.. I'm scared." I admitted quietly as I picked my head up to look at her again.

"Why? You know Mat would never leave you or anything. He's so head over heels for you!" she tried to reason but I shook my head, feeling my eyes get a little watery. Hormones.

"How can you be so sure? I actually asked him what he thought about having kids and he said he doesn't want them yet! That we're too young and.. I'm just scared." I whispered the last part as I looked at her. Her eyes softened a little at my explanation and she brought me into a hug.

"You know why I'm so sure he wouldn't leave you?" she asked and rubbed my back a little in an attempt to calm me down a little.

"Why?"

"Because if he did, I would end him." she explained and I giggled. Feeling a little better, I was about to pull away from the hug when I suddenly heard a cheery voice that I quickly recognized saying "Group hug!" and I felt one strong arm wrap around me, the other being wrapped around Lauren.

"You really need to find yourself a girl, Beau." I laughed and we stayed in the hug for a bit before we all pulled away, seeing that Mat and Jordan have already come out of the locker room as well. Anthony placed his hand over his heart in fake hurt and I laughed once more, punching his shoulder in a joking manner before I felt two strong arms wrap themselves around my waist. I turned around to face Mat and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Hey babe." I said, giving him what I intended to be a sweet short kiss, but apparently he had different plans. Taking one hand from my waist, he placed it on the back of my head and kept me from pulling away, deepening the kiss. I pulled away after a few moments in need of air and Mathew whined at the loss of contact.

"What was that for?" I asked him as I blushed, trying to catch my breath.

"I missed you." he responded simply and leaned back in, kissing my nose.

"You literally saw me just a few hours ago you dork." I told him as I played with the hair on the back of his neck, looking into his gorgeous hazel eyes.

"I know, but I miss you every single minute I spend without you." he said, looking at me with, soft eyes. I felt myself blush some more, still not taking my eyes off my man.

"Wow, you flatter me Mathew Barzal."

"I try." Mat winked at me. We looked for each other for a minute before we heard someone clearing their throat, snapping us both back into reality.

"Alright, alright you lovebirds, enough with the PDA. You're so cute it makes me sick." Tito said as he made a disgusted face.

"Oh shut up Beau, you're just jealous." Mat said as we both pulled away from each other and intertwined our fingers together, laughing together with our friends as we all slowly started to make our way out of the arena.

"Go ahead honey, I'd like to talk to Y/n here for a quick minute." Lauren said, kissing her husband and letting go off his arm that she was previously holding onto.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, looking at his wife.

"Yeah, don't worry. Just some girl stuff." she told him. He nodded and looked at Mat who looked at me with concern in his eyes.

"Go babe. I'll catch up in 5." I assured Mat, giving him a quick peck on his lips and he nodded, turning around and walking over to where our cars were parked with Tito and Jordan. I took a breath and turned to look at Lauren.

"You're going to tell him tonight, right?" she asked, looking right at me. I stayed quiet for a moment before answering.

"Yeah.. probably." I said as I have her a tight lipped smile. She smiled back at me sympathetically.

"Alright, although I'm 99,9% sure everything is going to go just fine, just in case doesn't, you can always come to mine and Jordan's place, okay?" she offered.

"Thank you." I nodded and gave her an appreciative smile.

"Good luck." she said with a smile and gave me a quick hug. I mumbled a faint 'thanks' and we pulled away. After that we caught up with our men, saying our goodbyes as we all went to our respective cars.

"What was that about?" Mat asked me as we got into our car.

"Nothing. Don't worry." I said, but he just looked at me in a way that told me he definitely didn't believe me.

"Babe I know you better than I know myself. Just tell me." he looked at me with gentle eyes and reached for my hand, lacing our fingers together.

"We'll talk once we get home, yeah?" I offered. He looked at me for a moment with concern still visible on features and then he nodded, bringing my hand up to his lips and kissing my knuckles before starting the car.

The whole car ride home was silent except for the faint sound of music playing. I was looking our of the window the entire time, trying to think of a way to tell Mat what I had to, Mathew giving me concerned glances here and there through the ride.

"Alright, we're talking." Mat said immediately after he closed the door of our apartment behind himself, only stopping to drop his hockey bag and take off his shoes before he took my hand and dragged me over to the couch in our living room. He sat down on it and looked up at me expectantly. I sighed, running my hand through my hair before sitting down beside him, looking nervously at my hands in my lap.

"Promise you won't get mad?" I asked quietly, picking at my nails. Mat placed one of his hands under my chin, gently picking up my head, making me look at him.

"I promise. Please tell me Y/n, you're starting to worry me." he encouraged me, his voice laced with concern.

"I'm pregnant." I quietly blurted out, feeling tears starting to slowly appear in my eyes. Mat didn't say anything for a moment as he just looked at me, processing what I had just told him, his hand dropping from my chin.

"You're.. we're.. okay, well this is unexpected." he said, finally looking away from me and letting out a long sigh as he rubbed his face with his hand.

"I'm so sorry Mat I- I didn't mean for this to happen and I-" I started rambling as the tears slowly started to escape my eyes, but I was quickly cut off by Mathew.

"Whoa, slow down there, what are you apologising for?" he asked, wiping my tears off with his thumbs and looking at me with soft eyes.

"You're not mad?" I asked in a quiet voice.

"Why would I be mad?"

"Because.. because you said the other day that you think we're still too young to have a baby and all so I just figured-" I was cut off once again, but this time by a soft kiss being placed on my lips. After we pulled away, Mat leaned his forehead on mine.

"Babe.. I'm not mad, okay? This is great, and although we weren't exactly planning it, I already know that you will be the best mom ever to our little one, and I promise I'll try to be the best dad I can possibly be. It's fine babe, it's all good. We're in this together." Mat said in a hushed voice, placing soft kisses all over my face in order to calm me down.

"I love you so much Mat." I told him, getting lost in his beautiful eyes.

"I love you so much more. And I'll always be here for you and our little one, please remember that." he promised, brushing some of my hair out of my face.

"Forever and always?"

"Forever and always."

#mathew barzal #mathew barzal fic #hockey imagines #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #mat barzal

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theanimalsarecalling · 3 years

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The Lynch family, I think, can only be understood if you understand Niall Lynch.

Niall, the father, is known to us only by the footprint he leaves. To name his characteristics: He is a dreamer. He is charming. He is a liar and a storyteller. He is involved in the criminal underworld. He is careless, of his own safety and his family's safety. But above all, I think he had a compelling need to be admired.

We know he sees Declan as the more expendable son. He relies on him - possibly because Declan has the organizational ability to keep Niall's business affairs afloat - but he doesn't like him. I have a headcanon that this isn't just because Declan isn't a dreamer. I'm willing to bet that Declan has a personality a lot like his birth mother. There is a reason Niall and the Mór o Corra are no longer together: I suspect she didn't admire him. And neither does Declan.

But Ronan does. Until his death, Niall was Ronan's hero, his world. And Niall fostered that.

Unpopular opinion here: Ronan was spoiled. Niall's favorite, he received the lion's share of the attention when Niall was home. It's not too hard to imagine Ronan getting the first choice, the biggest present, of whatever Niall was giving any particular time. Because Niall would have given gifts, to the people he loved the most, as a way to encourage their admiration. Ronan, believing Niall could do no wrong, would have accepted this as normal. And Aurora, being designed to love and admire Niall, would not have challenged it.

Does this mean I think Ronan is a bad person? Absolutely not. There is plenty of evidence that he is a very good person in the making. But at this point, he has a relentlessly self-centered point of view, and an utter inability to see past his own pain to the pain of other people, particularly his brother. I suspect his dismissal of Declan's feelings, wishes, even personhood, is a trait he learned from his father. Even in childhood, Declan represented The One Who Wouldn't Let Ronan Do What He Wanted.

What to say about Declan? In TRC, he seems controlling, though the reason for that gradually becomes evident. In CDTH, he is so, so crabby. Classic case of caregiver burnout. (I recognize it, I've been there.) It's extremely disheartening to give up so much for others, and have nobody willing to give a thing for you. But he's such a micromanager. It's understandable. He's (quite literally) been putting out fires since he was a little boy. But it's certainly off-putting to his brothers, especially Ronan who is so set on getting his own way. In MI, it's nice to see Declan relax that a bit. It's also nice to see him with Jordan, who gives as much to the relationship as he does.

Aurora Lynch was made to love, but I also think she was made to admire Niall. Unlike Niall, she left almost no footprint. Did she have the ability to self actualize? Would she have wanted to? Would having her own wants or needs even occur to her? We know she loved all of her sons. Mathew's words notwithstanding, I don't think she loved one more than another, though I'm sure she and Mathew were the most compatible. But I doubt she ever questioned anything, especially anything Niall did or said. I'm not sure she even had any real skills beyond the domestic skills necessary to run a home. Could she even drive? On an isolated farm, with Niall away, this could be a real problem. No wonder Declan was so focused on Mathew getting a driver's license.

I saved Mathew for last, because in many ways, he's the most interesting. Unlike Aurora, he wasn't created with a particular motive in mind.. (A 3 year old child's dream about having a brother who wasn't a Big Old Meanie hardly counts.) Unlike Ronan and Declan, I don't think he had much of a relationship with Niall. He wasn't as close to him as Ronan, and didn't spend as much time with him as Declan. Consequently, he is probably the only brother who can think about Niall rationally. And Mathew has far more emotional intelligence than either of his brothers.

He's smarter than he looks at first glance. Sure, his taste in shoes, and food, and music, may be less than subtle and discerning. But he gets people. He's able to call out Declan's infantilization of him, while still maintaining a relationship with him, in MI. He's not a black and white thinker like Ronan, which is why he can explain Declan's motivation regarding their father to Ronan in TRK. He's overcoming his existential crisis - with a bit of help from Jordan- with surprising aplomb. Watching Mathew become self-actualized is, for me, the most satisfying part of the series.

And if you read this far, thanks.

#the lynch family #declan lynch #call down the hawk #mister impossible #ronan lynch #mathew lynch

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apocalypticavolition · 10 months

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Let's (re)Read The Eye of the World! Chapter 15: Strangers and Friends

This chapter brings us a new and exciting icon, by which I mean terrifying and awful. Speaking of awful, if you don't want to have literally every detail of this series spoiled, you should probably go somewhere else. I hate to see you go, but I'd hate your complaints even more so begone!

Anyway. Chapter icon. We get a sunburst which stands for the Whitecloaks, an organization that really feels like it should have stopped being a quirky miniboss squad by the halfway point but continued to haunt one of our heroes almost all the way to the end of his arc. This is the chapter where Mat pranks them, because early books Mat is very, very dumb.

With a sigh he tossed the pillow aside and sat up, wincing as he stretched. All the aches he thought had soaked out in the bath were back. And his head still hurt, too. It did not surprise him. A dream like that was enough to give anybody a headache. The others had already faded, but not that one.

Rand is blaming the wrong thing. It's been a week since he channeled at Bela to keep her going, so now he's feeling that lovely post-saidin hangover. This is also why he slept so late compared to everyone else.

“. . . my Cirri is a good cat,” the cook was saying sharply, “and I won’t hear a word otherwise, do you hear? Complaining about him doing his job too well, that’s what you’re doing, if you ask me.”

Cirri's not even the reason all the rats are dead, but I'd take the cook's side anyway. If a place has too many dead rats for your liking, blame the people who make the conditions for the rats to thrive in the first place, not the one thing keeping the bubonic plague at bay.

Also, considering how professional cooking is so often a man's job, I'm withholding criticism on how we're establishing a pattern of kitchens being a woman's place because at least Jordan is being more consistent in his divisions that actual western society manages to be. Hopefully we won't see any palace head cooks who are dudes to make me irate.

"...Cirri wouldn’t let so many get into the inn, he wouldn’t. It’s a clean place, too, and not one to be so troubled. And all with backs broken.” She shook her head at the strangeness of it all.

You know what, I'm shaking my head too. Of all the early book weirdnesses, this might be the weirdest one. Like... what? How? Why? Did Ish just have a bunch of rat corpses in the dreamshard he had to put somewhere? Is he literally so crazy he thinks this is scary?

It was what the gleeman had called Plain Chant, those nights beside the fire on the ride north. Stories, he said, were told in three voices, High Chant, Plain Chant, and Common, which meant simply telling it the way you might tell your neighbor about your crop. Thom told stories in Common, but he did not bother to hide his contempt for the voice.

I can't help but assume that High Chant wouldn't sound out of place in an extended reading of scripture at a Catholic Church or some such, while Plain Chant, based on what dialog we get from Thom, seems like it's dramatic in a radio serial sense.

Rand slowly lowered himself to the bed again. He licked his lips, then said quickly, “Did he kill a rat?”

Note how effortlessly Rand communicates with someone he trusts. Moiraine really, really, really, really shot herself in the foot over the last couple chapters. People talk about how this is a series where nobody communicates but the ta'veren trio are actually really good about it with each other and others they care about (and Nynaeve is usually good but sometimes the plot demands that she not talk about things that would interfere with the Seanchan Supremacy Subplot), it's just that the plot tears them apart so they can't be effective.

Perrin fell back on his pillow. “You’ve heard the stories about Aes Sedai. Do you think we can trust Thom? If we can trust anybody. Rand, if we get out of this alive, if we ever get back home, and you hear me say anything about leaving Emond’s Field, even to go as far as Watch Hill, you kick me. All right?”

I actually kinda wonder if Jordan intended for Watch Hill, named for a very obvious strategic purpose, to end up being Perrin's main base of operations in the area once he became king and for this comment to be ironic. Perrin would have to spend a lot of time touring up and down his territory, and even when he ends up back in the Two Rivers it's still not the home he knows, just as the others have to lose it too.

...or, based on revelations below, it's probably because he was never gonna get to go home at this point in the story. Lame.

Even at the height of Festival he had never seen so many people so jammed together. Not even half so many. And this was only one street. Master Fitch and the cook said the whole city was full. The whole city . . . like this? He backed slowly away from the gate, away from the street full of people.

It's okay Rand. I've been hella uncomfortable in crowded situations for a couple of years now myself. It's good the poor boy had Baerlon to help him adjust to the rest of the world, considering the sheer mass of humanity he's going to have to put up with on occasion.

Startled, Rand jumped to his feet. It was the crop-haired young woman who had been with Moiraine when he came out of the bath chamber, still dressed in a boy’s coat and breeches. She was a little older than he was, he thought, with dark eyes even bigger than Egwene’s, and oddly intent.

It's Min again! It's a shame she gives up the gender non-comformity to get into Rand's pants because having somebody who didn't give a fuck about the gender bindary in Gender Binary World and still get a distinct kind of magical powers anyway would have really future-proofed this series against the various sexual revolutions that Jordan did not foresee. Frankly, it's my headcanon, and it could be yours too for the low, low price of nothing at all!

“Mistress Alys, then, if you prefer,” Min said with an amused look that made his cheeks color. “There’s no one close enough to hear.”

Considering that Min will spend much of the back half of the series blatantly giving away Rand's confidence to anyone who asks, it's really no surprise that she's also really bad at keeping Moiraine's secrets too.

“When you’re all in a group? Sparks swirling around you, thousands of them, and a big shadow, darker than midnight. It’s so strong, I almost wonder why everybody can’t see it. The sparks are trying to fill the shadow, and the shadow is trying to swallow the sparks.”

Min vision #1: The party is diametrically opposed to the Shadow and both sides know it. They're critically important to the effort, but also represent the Light in distinct, individual ways. This one is obvious and needs no particular analysis, though I don't think Min ends up mentioning it down the road even when she's around multiple party members.

Min did not seem to notice his slip. “The girl? She’s part of it. And the gleeman. All of you. You’re in love with her.” He stared at her. “I can tell that even without seeing any images. She loves you, too, but she’s not for you, or you for her. Not the way you both want.”

Min vision #2: Rand and Egwene are not soul mates, but there's an implication that they are for each other in another way since they're only not for each other as soulmates. This ultimately comes true in Egwene's being instrumental in stopping Rand's misguided seal plan and solo martyrdom.

“When I look at her, I see the same as when I look at . . . Mistress Alys. Other things, things I don’t understand, too, but I know what that means. She won’t refuse it.”

Min vision #3: Egwene will embrace channeling. This comes true.

That said, she doesn't mention to Rand if she sees any channeling potential around him (though that may just be politeness), and in later books her ability to suss out channelers is the generic "They always have a lot going on around them while ordinary people sometimes just have a couple signs", so it's hard to say what's going on here. I have an idea for what she may be seeing specifically around Aes Sedai and Egwene, but it relies on an early book weirdness that is coming up...

“The War . . . ah . . . Master Andra has seven ruined towers around his head, and a babe in a cradle holding a sword, and. . . .”

...now! In this book and only this book, Min's visions reflect both past and future, so it may be that the thing she sees specifically around current Aes Sedai and also Egwene is being bound to the Oath Rod, which won't apply to Rand. Lan's omens - and Thom's - rely on their past, not their futures, so we'll skip over them.

The strongest things I see about the big, curly-haired fellow are a wolf, and a broken crown, and trees flowering all around him.

Min vision #who cares: Perrin will become a werewolf, end up the king of Saldaea, and no one knows. Some suggest it's another Saldaea thing, some say it's about the trees on the farm, I say it's something to do with Tinkers or the Ogier or both that never came to fruition because Jordan never figured out what to do with him or because he changed things around, as evidenced below:

And the other one—a red eagle, an eye on a balance scale, a dagger with a ruby, a horn, and a laughing face.

This just never stops being weird. This particular prophecy suggests that Jordan intended for Mat to be the guy reuniting Manetheren at this point! The eye on the balance scale is him saving Moiraine, the dagger is the dagger, the horn is the Horn, and the face is... another oddity. The Wiki suggests it could be how he relates the Dice to laughter (no) or Balthamel (even weaker, somehow). I myself have no idea, but will suggest that maybe the Seanchan had different iconography at this time or that the Mat/Fain conflict was intended to be relevant at this point and just never was.

A sword that isn’t a sword, a golden crown of laurel leaves, a beggar’s staff, you pouring water on sand, a bloody hand and a white-hot iron, three women standing over a funeral bier with you on it, black rock wet with blood—

Callandor, the crown of Illian, the time he went and pouted in Seanchan territory, the lake he makes at Rhuidean, the hand he loses and [see below], the harem being really bad at pretending he's dead, Shayol Ghul.

In early drafts, Rand's lost hand was by royal decree of Morgase (who had Elayne elements at the time) and the white-hot iron was related to that. The Wiki tries to introduce the heron markings as a substitute, but I'm going to be bold and offer my own desperate patch to canon: Min doesn't know what balefire is yet and is just giving her best explanation for it.

(For anyone offended by "#who cares" because the answer is them, this is technically #8.)

“Most of all, I see lightning around you, some striking at you, some coming out of you. I don’t know what any of it means, except for one thing. You and I will meet again.” She gave him a quizzical look, as if she did not understand that either.

This is just all the Power that gets flung around when Rand enters the country, and of course the inevitability of their romance, which Min will utterly destroy herself to see fulfilled and then spend several books destroying Rand in subconscious vengeance for. I'll talk more about how their romance might have been improved in terms of the whole arc of the series when we get to it.

“Run, if you want,” she called after him. “You can’t escape from me.” Her laughter sped him across the stableyard and out into the street, into the hubbub of people. Her last words were too close to what Ba’alzamon had said.

Twu wuv!

But most of the people did not look any different from those he had grown up with, not in dress or in face. He had expected they would, somehow. Indeed, some of them had so much the look of the Two Rivers in their faces that he could imagine they belonged to one family or another that he knew around Emond’s Field.

Considering how canonically inbred the Two Rivers folk are, this actually is genuinely surprising and not just Rand being a racist country boy.

The man’s eyes were sunken and his dirty face gaunt, as if he had not eaten or slept in days, but Rand could swear. . . .

Oh dear, Fain is here. Worse still, Rand tells him exactly where everyone's staying, because Lan's warnings to trust no one mean nothing. In Rand's defense, he mistakes Fain's entirely deserved misery for having spent the last week fleeing like they have, but still.

“Aaaaah! She’s . . . she’s the Aes Sedai, is she?” A guarded look came over Fain’s face. “Maybe, though. . . .” He paused, licking his lips nervously. “How long will you be at this—What was it? What did you call it?—the Stag and Lion?” “We leave tomorrow,” Rand said. “But what does that have to do with—?”

But I've got nothing for Rand here except maybe post-channeling stupidity but even that's stretching it. Especially when Rand promises not to tell the scary, half-crazed dude who he doesn't like all that much not to tell Moiraine about him.

“Mat?” People still streamed by without paying them any heed, but Rand lowered his voice anyway, and leaned closer. “Mat, did you have a nightmare last night? About a man who killed a rat?”

To balance out Rand's overall stupidity, points again for actually communicating with his friends about what's going on. And since Mat specifically names the ferry as why he doesn't trust Moiraine, points from her for being a bad communicator overall.

“A dagger with a ruby, eh?” Mat said. “I like that. I don’t know about the eye, though. Are you sure she wasn’t making it up? It seems to me she would know what it all means if she really is a soothsayer.”

Instance number one of Min's prophecies being potentially self-fulfilling. Would Mat have taken anything from Shadar Logoth if he hadn't know it was his destiny to have a ruby-hilted dagger?

Rand stared after him, knowing he should do something. That look in Mat’s eyes always meant one of his tricks. But oddly, he found himself looking forward to whatever Mat was going to do. Something told him that feeling was wrong, that it was dangerous, but he smiled in anticipation anyway.

Post-channeling hangovers seem like the absolute worst. Mat has no excuse and I should be giving him shit for this but if Rand hadn't been accompanying him he would have gotten to fuck with the Whitecloaks at no cost to anyone.

The narrow-faced man glanced at Rand’s sword hilt again—the bronze heron was plain—and his eyes widened momentarily. Then his gaze rose to Rand’s face, and he sniffed dismissively. “He is too young. You are not from this place, yes?” he said coldly to Rand. “You come from where?”

Dain, you'd explode if he told you the truth. It's good that all three of our boys make Dain miserable at one point or another, I have to say. Shame Mat and Rand didn't get more opportunities to do so.

Bornhald turned his attention back to Rand. The light of knowing burned in his eyes. “Darkfriends do not escape us, youngling, even in a town that stands in the Shadow. We will meet again. You may be sure of it!”

Dain, odds are very good that there are several Darkfriends in your party, and worse still Padan Fain is running around and you're going to cause him exactly zero problems. Still though, let the record show that Rand has now fucked up the group's downtime in two different ways, all thanks to the magic of being ta'veren. Bro's probably so happy after AMOL to walk into a town and not immediately meet everyone of importance.

It was Mat who began disjointedly telling Thom about the dream and their worry over whether or not to tell Moiraine, but Rand joined in, for there were differences in exactly how they remembered it. Or maybe each dream was a little different, he thought. The major part of the dreams was the same, though.

It would be pretty weird if all three of you reacted to things in the same way. Was Ish doing them all in sync, or did he do them one after the other?

Mat snorted. “I could tell you about Children of the Light,” he said with a wry look at Rand.

Thom of course just assumes Mat's being an idiot and doesn't follow up on this, because sadly he doesn't realize just how much worse the situation is. And of course he's focused on Ba'alzamon, not the kids.

“The other lad! You say he had the same dream? Does he have sense enough to keep his mouth shut?” “I think so,” Rand said at the same time that Mat said, “We were going back to the inn to warn him.” “The Light send we’re not too late!”

Thom doesn't hear the word yes and assumes the worst. Thankfully, Perrin spent the whole day sick. What is up with that and him having headaches too? Does Wolfbrotherhood come on you like channeling? Did he reach out to the wolves accidentally on Bel Tine and now his body's reacting to the psychic stress on delay?

“We had to talk to somebody or go crazy,” Rand said.

Sadly, from now on, Rand is choosing to go crazy.

That brought them all up short. They exchanged glances, drew deep breaths, and marched inside as if to face Trollocs.

The fact that they put Nynaeve on the same tier of threatening as Trollocs is both hilarious and entirely accurate. In the next chapter, we'll see her again at last!

#let's read #wheel of time #wot #robert jordan #wheel of time spoilers #wot spoilers #rand al'thor #thom merrilin #perrin aybara #min farshaw #padan fain #mat cauthon #dain bornhald

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teenwolffan-with-nolife · 3 years

Text

The Witch and The Wolf Pt.58

Word Count: 2,427

Characters: Derek Hale, Braeden (someone plz tell me her last name), Stiles Stilinski, Malia Hale (mentioned), Scott McCall, Deaton, Jordan Parrish, Noah Stilinski, Melissa McCall, Kate Argent (mentioned), Peter Hale, Meredith Walker, Reader

Pairings: Derek Hale x Witch!Reader

Warnings: angst, cliffhanger

A/N: i don’t want anyone to @ me i’ve had the ending planned before i started writing the series

Masterlist Series Masterlist

You laid awake on your bed, feeling Derek’s body moving slightly with every breath he took. His arm was wrapped around your waist, with his back against yours. It was somehow impossible for you to be able to fall asleep.

You stroked Derek’s arm, before carefully turning to face him, trying not to wake him. Seeing him there with you always brought you comfort, even when you felt terrible. This was by far the longest you two had been together for, without any fighting or arguments.

You could feel sadness rising in your chest, watching his powers leave him. He was still dying. You ran your fingers through your hair, trying to shake off that thought, it was the only thing on your mind.

He opened his eyes, tilting his head downwards to make eye contact with you.

“It gets creepier and creepier every time you watch me sleep,” he replied.

You scoffed, wrapping your arms around him tightly.

“You just ruined a good moment,” you replied.

“Yeah, okay. What time is it?” you turned to check your phone, before shooting up.

You had texts from Scott and Stiles, and Lydia, along with a couple of missed calls.

“What? What is it?” Derek asked, moving next to you.

“I need to go,” you said.

“Wait, I’ll come with you,” he nodded.

“No, don't. Just stay here. I’ll see you in a bit,” you began to get out of bed, quickly grabbing a pair of clothes.

“(Y/N),” he started.

“I’ll see you in a bit,” you pressed a kiss to his cheek, before grabbing your phone and wallet, running out.

---

“Stiles!” you ran into his room, wrapping your arms around him.

“I should've gone with you two! Are you okay?” you asked, immediately scanning him for injuries.

“I’m fine! Melissa isn't letting me go,” he shook his head.

“Why not?” you asked.

Melissa walked in, crossing her arms.

“Brunski hit him in the head repeatedly. He says he’s fine but the doctor ordered more tests and I think he needs to rest,” Melissa explained.

“I’m fine!” he groaned.

“Stiles, sit down and shut up. Listen to her, she’s literally a nurse,” you replied.

“But-”

“No buts,” you flashed your purple eyes at him while he groaned, sitting back on the bed.

You rolled your eyes, before walking out with Melissa.

You put your arms around your stomach, holding in a gag.

“Are you okay?” she put her hand on your shoulder.

“Mhm… what is that smell?” you replied, strained.

“Well, I don’t smell anything that could make you sick,” she shook her head.

You inhaled, before sighing.

“It smells like blood,” you shook your head.

“Well, I mean we are in a hospital,” she laughed softly before patting your back.

“Are you sure you're okay?” she asked again.

“Yeah, I just feel a little sick. But it's nothing too bad,” you said.

She nodded, giving you a look before shaking it off.

“I will text Malia. She could probably get Stiles to stay here for a while,” you explained.

“Where are you gonna go?” she asked.

“I’m going to Deaton’s and then probably to the station, it looks like Kira found Satomi’s pack,” you explained.

“Are you sure you don't want to rest for a little bit?” Melissa asked.

“All of these kids aren't getting any sleep, why would I?” you shrugged.

She sighed, before patting your back softly.

“Stay safe,” you gave her a small hug before making your way to Deaton’s.

---

“I think we should leave now,” Scott replied.

“I still think we should wait for the sun to come up,” you stood in front of him, waiting in the clinic.

“I agree with (Y/N) on this one, we don't know how many hunters and assassins are still out there, and after what happened yesterday, we don’t know who’s safe or who’s not,” Kira nodded her head.

You looked inside, taking a quick look at Satomi, Brett, Lori, and the rest of their pack. They were all gathered, talking in whispers.

“Fine. Did you text Argent yet?” Scott asked.

“I texted him but he hasn’t replied. I’m sure he won’t mind,” you shrugged.

“Yeah, okay. Oh, also, Deaton said he wants to talk to you,” Scott motioned to the room in the back, Deaton’s private office.

You raised an eyebrow, before nodding softly, making your way to his office, knocking softly on the door.

“Come in,” he replied.

“You wanted to see me?” you asked, poking your head in.

“Oh, yes. I’ve gotten about ten texts from a certain someone about you,” he started.

You raised an eyebrow, while he showed you his phone screen.

“Oh my god, he’s crazy,” you muttered, running your fingers through your hair.

“Well, is he wrong?” Deaton asked, leaning on his table.

“I mean… he might not be wrong,” you muttered, avoiding his gaze.

“I’m going to run some tests on you, okay?” he asked.

“What? No, there’s no reason. I feel fine,” you shook your head.

“Well, Derek’s not gonna take no for an answer,” he raised an eyebrow.

“Well, it’s my body, not his,” you gave a fake smile while Deaton sighed.

“Let me prove that it’s nothing to him, and maybe he’ll leave you alone.”

You groaned, crossing your arms before sighing.

“Okay fine,” you said.

“Good, now follow me.”

---

“Lydia,” she jumped up as you called her name, opening her eyes.

“Did you go home last night?” you asked, taking the seat next to her in the sheriff’s station.

“No, I’m not leaving Meredith here,” she replied.

You peaked inside Sheriff Stilinski’s office, seeing people with equipment talking to her.

“What’s going on now?” you asked.

“Sheriff Stilinski’s trying to get her to talk, but she isn't talking to anyone. He won’t let me talk to her either.”

“Why not?”

“Something with her being unpredictable and whatnot.”

“But… you’re a banshee and she’s a banshee. Don’t you guys like, trust in each other or something?”

“Tell that to him.”

“Yeah, I will.”

She raised an eyebrow as you saw Sheriff Stilinski come out of his office, turning to you and Lydia.

“She refuses to talk to anyone,” he crossed his arms.

“Well, why not let us talk to her?” you asked.

“I already said no to Lydia, don’t make me explain it to you too, (Y/N),” Noah replied in an annoyed tone.

“But Meredith has talked to Lydia before when she wasn't talking to anyone else. And Meredith can't hurt her if someone else is there and she’s protected,” you replied.

Sheriff Stilinski sighed, before shaking his head.

“Forget it. The two of you aren’t going in.”

---

You heard Noah sigh from behind the two of you, while Lydia took a seat across from Meredith.

“You used Brunski, right?” Lydia started.

Meredith continued looking down, away from everyone else.

“You knew he’d killed people and he’d do it again. He used my grandmother’s code for the Deadpool, and he’s the one who put it online,” you continued to look at Meredith, raising your eyebrow slightly as she remained stiff.

“He took the money from the Hale Vault, and then he turned the bearer bonds into cash. He made the payments,” you looked behind to Noah and Parrish, shrugging.

“Did you fake your death because he got you nervous? Because you helped?” she asked.

“I want to help,” Meredith spoke.

“Then do it. Tell us,” Lydia sighed.

“I want to talk to Peter,” you tensed immediately, sitting up before getting out of your chair.

“What?” you asked.

“I want to talk to Peter Hale,” she said again.

You shook your head, pulling Lydia aside.

“How does she know Peter?” you asked softly.

“How am I supposed to know?” Lydia raised an eyebrow.

“Well, we’re not calling him here,” you scoffed.

“She said she wants to talk to him. What if she doesn't talk to anyone else?” Lydia replied.

“What's so bad about Peter Hale?” Parrish asked while the two of you walked to him and Noah.

“What isn't bad about it? In simple terms, I would rather get stabbed by every single supernatural creature out there, I'd rather die 1,000 times than spend longer than 5 minutes with Peter Hale. He’s evil, he’s cold-hearted, he’s terrible, he’s-” you continued, anger pouring out of you before Lydia stopped you.

“I don’t think we have much of a choice,” Lydia sighed.

You looked back at Meredith, then at the time. You needed to be back at Argent’s hideout by night, and it was already nearly 3. You bit your lip, holding back your frustration before you nodded your head.

“Fine,” you said softly.

“How are we going to find him?” you asked.

“You don’t have his number?” Lydia frowned.

“Why would I? Do you?” you replied.

“He tried to kill me. Of course, I don't have his number!” she scoffed.

“And? Chris tried to kill me too, and I have his number memorized,” you replied.

“When did that happen?” Lydia frowned.

“Oh, it was-”

“Not helpful right now. (Y/N), text Derek or something and find out Peter’s number. Parrish, you can take Meredith to one of the interrogation rooms,” Noah interrupted you.

You sighed, before nodding your head, sending a text to Derek.

---

You bit your nail, looking through the one-way mirror to Peter sitting across from Meredith, and Parrish standing nearby as a guard.

You, Lydia, and Noah continued to watch their interaction.

“I can just have what's left of it,” Peter said, referring to his money.

Meredith reached forward, putting her hand on Peter's face while you saw him tense up.

Don't screw this up, Peter

He grabbed Meredith’s hand, before Parrish pulled out his gun, pointing it at Peter.

“Let her go! Now!” he yelled.

Peter clenched his jaw, before letting go of her hand.

“Your burns. They’re all gone,” your eyes widened, looking at Peter again.

“She does know him.”

---

“Are you two still training?” you asked Braeden, rubbing your neck softly.

“Well, not at the moment,” she replied.

“Okay… how is he doing?” you asked softly.

“He’s pretty weak, if I’m being honest with you,” you ran your fingers through your hair nervously, before pacing around the empty office.

“That's… okay,” you took deep breaths.

“There’s no reason to worry, though. He doesn't go anywhere without you or me. I have my guns, you have your thing. You’re getting really-”

“I know I worry a lot but how can I not?” you cut her off, before sighing.

All that was on your mind was Derek, and it was difficult to focus on anything else.

“Just take a breath. Look, we're gonna get back to training, okay?” she said.

You nodded before rolling your eyes, realizing she couldn’t see you.

“Yeah, I’ll see you later,” you hung up the phone, receiving a text from Deaton.

You heard Peter yelling, while you dropped your phone, running back into the interrogation room. Within an instant, Peter pushed Parrish aside, digging his nails into Meredith’s neck.

Shit!

You ran into the room, pulling Parrish back.

“Don’t touch him! He could kill her if something goes wrong,” you warned.

Noah and Parrish both placed their guns back into their pocket before Lydia walked next to Meredith.

“Can you hear her?” you asked.

She shook her head. You ran your fingers through your hair, before walking next to Peter.

“Cogitationes revelare,” your eyes glew purple as you put your hands on Peter’s head, looking into his mind.

“I told her, I warned her. I knew they were planning something and now everyone’s dead!” you heard Peter yelling, seeing Meredith in a hospital bed next to his paralyzed, scorched body.

You could see as Meredith covered her ears, trying to block out Peter’s words, while some form of Peter, possibly his soul, reached out for her, grabbing her hand.

“Talia made the family weak and weaker! We used to be feared, we used to be the Apex predators till Talia turned us into sheep,” he yelled.

“I swear on it… I’ll kill all supernaturals of Beacon Hills, witches, werewolves, wendigoes, all of them. I’ll create my own breed, and we’ll be on top!”

“With the money from the vault. I’ll pay them. Professional assassins, people like The Mute, The Chemist, I’ll even call in the Desert Wolf. When it comes to it, anyone can be corrupted by money.”

You took a step back from Peter, staring at the scene in shock before you felt your head began aching, pushing through more flashbacks.

You saw glimpses of Kate before you tensed up.

“Don’t kill Scott yet. That'll screw up the plan,” you heard him say.

The two of them stood in the sewers, while you clenched your jaw, breaking away from Peter.

You gasped softly, putting your hands on your head as you stumbled back. Your vision blurred, barely making out Lydia rushing to you before you fell out of consciousness.

---

You jumped up, immediately looking around the hospital room.

You exhaled softly, feeling a slight sense of relief as you ran your fingers through your hair.

You turned, about to get out of your bed before Melissa walked into the room.

“Mrs. McCall,” you said.

“It’s good to see you’re awake,” she gave you a small smile.

“Yeah, I feel fine,” you replied.

“Can I leave?” you asked.

“In a minute. Derek’s currently outside, I told him he could come in after I talked to you,” you frowned slightly as she motioned for you to get back in bed.

“I ran a few tests on you while you were asleep, per Deaton’s request. He’s going to be away for some time and sent me a call before,” you could feel slight panic rising in your chest as she stood in front of you.

“You’ve been getting sick, right? How often does it happen?” Melissa asked.

“Not… I mean sometimes in the morning, like right when I wake up, but sometimes it happens when I’m upset, I thought it was stress,” you replied.

“It’s not stress,” she said softly.

Your heart rate quickened, every aspect of Melissa’s words was causing you to worry.

“Am I dying?” you blurted out.

She laughed softly, shaking her head.

“Quite the opposite.”

You gave her a look, before raising an eyebrow.

“What the hell is the opposite of dying?” you asked.

“You really haven't figured it out yet?” she scoffed.

You gave her a confused look once again, before shaking your head. She sighed, crossing her arms.

“You’re pregnant, (Y/N).”

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agentaletha · 3 years

Text

Raybearer

Tarisai has always longed for the warmth of a family. She was raised in isolation by a mysterious, often absent mother known only as The Lady. The Lady sends her to the capital of the global empire of Aritsar to compete with other children to be chosen as one of the Crown Prince’s Council of 11. If she’s picked, she’ll be joined with the other Council members through the Ray, a bond deeper than blood. That closeness is irresistible to Tarisai, who has always wanted to belong somewhere. But The Lady has other ideas, including a magical wish that Tarisai is compelled to obey: Kill the Crown Prince once she gains his trust. Tarisai won’t stand by and become someone’s pawn—but is she strong enough to choose a different path for herself? - Goodreads

Raybearer by Jordan Ifeuko, 2020 Amulet Books

Raybearer is a lovely young adult fantasy novel, the first in a two book series. I read a fair amount of YA, and a good amount of speculative fiction and still Raybearer felt new and exciting. In fact I’d say it’s probably my favorite YA I’ve read so far this year. The world building is unique with a wide variety of cultures (obviously influenced by certain real world countries but with enough departure to not feel just relabeled with fantasy names), interesting magic abilities, a sense of history, and an unusual system of government.

While stories of youths rebelling against oppressive regimes are YA’s bread and butter, this takes a deeper look at justice and inequality. I love that Tarisai’s goal for most of this first book is just to protect her friends and chosen family. There are so many that we don't really get to know all of them, but the ones we do know are perfect. While Tarisai has a strong sense of right and wrong (literally, she gets physical symptoms from injustice) the entire time, the book covers her journey from ignoring it, then trying to save individuals, to trying to affect the whole empire. But even when her purpose is to protect, she still sees systemic injustices and comes up with systemic solutions, wanting to fulfill her role as more than keeper of the status quo. This is a story that questions why things are the way they are and how the status quo is maintained, but also looks seriously at what can be done better in the future. The problem isn’t one bad person abusing their power, the problem is the system that supports and maintains inequalities. I appreciated that there are no scenery chewing villains here - everyone has understandable motives, from lashing out to hurt because they were hurt, to fear, and to how easy it is to dismiss injustices that happen to other people, in other places and justify that that’s just how it is, no point in trying to make a difference. Everyone is treated with compassion, even when they make bad decisions or react from their emotions, which they sometimes do.

I’m really looking forward to the second book! In the words of George Washington from Hamilton,”Winning is easy young man, governing’s harder.” I love seeing what happens next and I’m going to leave it there to not give any more away.

Spoilers ahead as I talk about representation

As for LGBTQIA representation, it’s there but fairly background. Same sex relationships aren’t stigmatized and it seems there’s a bit of an “everyone is bi” default, although all the main on-page romantic relationships are male/female. Gender roles vary by culture but don’t seem to be strictly delineated in the palace although gender does seem to be considered strictly binary. One of the 11 is gay and fairly flamboyant about it - he’s described as a “bleeding-heart poet” dreaming of handsome swains, but that’s about it. However, there is an asexual character and while he’s not the protagonist, he is one of the key players. A little less than halfway through the book, when she is an anointed member of his council, Tarisai asks the Prince to meet her privately at a known lovers’ meeting spot. He’s afraid she has the wrong idea and this is what he tells her:

“There’s something I should tell you. I don’t...I don’t think I want sex. Ever. And I don’t mean with you, I mean - with anyone. Girls, boys. Anyone.” He stared at the leaves on the ground, smooth brow furrowing. “I mean, I’ve had crushes before. On you, on Jeet, and some of the others. I’ve just … never been interested in the sex part. Sometimes I wonder if I’m broken.”

You aren’t broken, protested the voice inside me. You’re the kindest, most loving person I know. Run. Live.

“But I’m crown prince,” he continued, grimacing, “and I have to have heirs someday, so… I guess - if I could choose anyone-”

The conversation ends there because Tarisai stabs him.

Ekundayo, or Dayo for short, is described as happy, naive, trusting, and having a “big fragile heart”. He is the Crown Prince, but he believes in the best of everyone. He’s well meaning but doesn’t always get it. They don’t have a word for asexual, but the author makes it clear by indicating that it’s all genders he’s not interested in and that he’s not aromantic as well. And the author includes the classic, “I wonder if I’m broken.” On the one hand, broken would go on my ace characters bingo sheet, but on the other, it’s a classic for a reason. Asexuality is already so much more visible than when I finally encountered it over ten years ago that maybe in another ten private wonderings about our brokenness will no longer resonate with the younger generations. I hope so. In the meantime, I already liked him as the soft-hearted prince and this made my heart go out to him. I love that Tarisai’s immediate reaction is “you’re not broken” although she doesn’t get the chance to say that out loud or even finish the conversation. I assume it will come up again in the next and final book. I really don’t know what’s going to happen next and I love that.

In summary, I loved Raybearer and I think it’s a good representation of an ace character that doesn’t fall prey to stereotypes (although I am keeping an eye on how often naive tends to show up) and I highly recommend it as a diverse thoughtful YA fantasy.

#acereads #asexual #asexuality #asexual character #asexual literature #ace #aroace #aspec #aro characters #ace character #book review

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votederpycausemufins · 3 years

Text

*arrives with a cup of hot cocoa instead of coffee* oh hey, you know you guys have been waiting long enough. Here’s the captain. Just ignore the Mumbo in the background having a crisis

@petrichormeraki

Grian regretted going through the portal almost immediately as a wave of nausea hit him. “Are you okay mister grain?” he gave a weak laugh at Crumb already figuring out that nickname.

“Yeah, just didn’t expect this place to be so charged with Vault God energy. Oof, no wonder I can’t remember anything. Can you try sending a message to Tommy?”

“Ye ye ye!” Crumb replied before tapping away at her own communicator. She stopped, jumping as someone wearing a white mask with a black symbol on it landed in front of them.

“Heyyyy!” Grian pointed finger guns at the Watcher that landed in front of him.

“Xelqua. What are you doing here?”

Grian frowned, recognizing the voice. “Ugh, Lynn… Look, I’m just here for my family and a friend of Tommy’s. I didn’t know it was going to be this bad.” He fumbled as Lynn threw an identical mask to the one she was wearing to him. He put it on and felt relief as it helped stabilize him a bit, though he could feel it activating his Watcher powers further. “If you know where they are, I can be on my way.”

“Fine, try not to take too long.” She gave Grian some directions before leaving.

Grian went to pick up Crumb, but found her looking a little scared. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Well, when me and Tubbox was getting flown away by the big bird, it made a portal dat looks like dat.” She pointed at Grian’s mask.

“Oh, yeah that bird was probably me. It was very much on accident though as you can see that is not happening this time.”

Crumb stared at him, half surprised, half skeptical, but mostly confused. “Are you a shape shifter like me den?”

Grian chuckled. “Nope, just an avian. Okay maybe not just. I was born an avian and then made into a Watcher, and to show off power they get wicked cool forms that sort of reflect who they are. Since a good number of Watchers are human based in origin, they basically turn into what people think of as angels. That’s… actually probably where those came from.” Grian shrugged. “Eh, who knows, it was who knows how long ago. Let’s just go find your friends.”

When Grian walked into the building Tommy was hiding out in, he got stabbed. He knew that it made sense, but he couldn’t help but look down at the sword. “Ugh, not again.”

His voice seemed to help the others figure out who he was. “Grian?”

“Hi Tommy! Sorry if I scared you. It’s just I kinda need to wear this mask or else I’ll feel sick and drunk at the same time or something.”

“Tommy an’ Tubbox!” Crumb jumped at the pair when she saw them, shifting to a hybrid form midair and then hugging them.

“Crumb!” Tubbo hugged her first. “Are you doing okay?”

“Ye ye ye!”

“Everything should be okay here soon guys. I’ve got some friends who are definitely going to take care of Dream for you guys once and for all. At the same time, I talked and we’re really going to make a permanent connection between here and Hermitcraft so you can visit all the time. Admin duties will be shared between the servers, but X said he won’t step on any toes, it’s just as a precaution.”

Tommy crossed his arms. “And what are you doing about your boyfriend?”

Grian hesitated at the lack of Tommy using Mumbo’s name. “You mean Mumbo? I mean, he’s a disgusting mess after barely sleeping and eating taking care of me, but I’m sure he’ll get better. Unless you’re concerned about how he was after being here, because again, bit of a mess but he’ll be fine.”

“Not going to get upset at me coming back?”

That really made Grian pause. What was Tommy talking about? “What do you mean Tommy?”

Tommy didn’t respond, just getting so angry he could barely say anything, so Tubbo answered for him. “Just before Mumbo left with you, he yelled at Tommy. He sort of said he wished Tommy never showed up in your world.”

Grian frowned. “Well, you’re fine to come back. I’ll make sure he has a stern talking to. Come on, let’s go back to the portal.” Grian then looked over where Techno and Philza were playing a game of… well Grian wasn’t sure, but it looked like some kind of board game. “You can come too if you want.”

Philza shook his head. “No. Whatever Dream did turned Wilbur back into a ghost, so someone showed up and took him away to fix that. We’re going to wait here until he’s back to normal.”

“Oh, alright then. Well, don’t be a stranger or anything. C’mon kids!”

“Hey! I’m not a kid!” Tommy complained, just making Grian ruffle his hair.

“Were it not for the laws of this land, that being you’re literally my brother, I might have adopted you. Also if we maybe had a few more years between us.”

Grian dropped off the trio at Tommy’s tower before flying to Mumbo’s base. He set his mask down on a table and then walked to where Mumbo’s bedroom was, surprised to hear the shower still running as he passed the bathroom. Grian paused and knocked on the door. “Mumbo, when you’re done in there, we need to have a chat. I’ll be waiting by the counter.”

Grian sat down on the ledge in front of the life counter of Mumbo’s base after feeding it an apple. He stared out at the jungle, waiting for Mumbo to arrive. He finally heard the redstone walk up behind him and then started to address him. “Mumbo, look. Tommy told me you-” He turned to look at Mumbo who was dripping wet. It was like someone pushed him into a pool while he was wearing his suit. “Mumbo why are you all wet?”

“You said to take a shower.” Mumbo said like how he currently looked was the most normal thing in the world.

“I didn’t mean in your clothes! Oh my god, go get changed!”

“I thought you wanted to talk?”

“We can do that after you’re dry!”

Mumbo was quiet before speaking again. “You know I don’t really have another suit.”

“You have your bamboo one!”

Again, he was quiet for a worryingly long time before he just sat down next to Grian. “Can we just talk and get this over with?”

Grian was reluctant and nodded. “Tommy said you yelled at him.”

“I know… I was upset. A lot of things had just happened and with everyone with amnesia, I was really the only one who was able to do much. And Dream had messed with you so I was angry. I barely got to sleep, and we had just had a war with that guy and we were all over the place and I just sort of… lost it.” Mumbo started to lean on Grian’s shoulder, but quickly stopped himself. “Through all this, you’ve been focused a lot on Tommy and your family, and everything else, but you weren’t really…”

“Oh Mumbo. Why didn’t you say anything?” Grian realized what Mumbo meant.

“Well, I sort of knew Tommy was sort of the priority. Plus you had a lot on your plate. I didn’t want to put more on there.”

Grian nuzzled against Mumbo’s chest, not noticing how he stiffened up. “Mumbo, I’m not going to stop loving you. I’m just going to have love for my family too. You know how we hermits need to be there for each other, and Tommy is a hermit too.”

“Yeah…”

When their comms buzzed, Mumbo gave a small sigh as Grian sat up to look at the message. He saw there were actually a few he had missed and laughed a little at them. “Looks like Crumb’s dad is looking for her but he was told he’s at my mansion. I’m going to fly over there and take him to Tommy’s tower since that’s where I left them. If you want we can talk more later.”

“Go deal with them first. And can you tell Tommy what I said?”

Grian nodded and then flew off to his mansion. He quickly arrived since it wasn’t too far even on foot. “Hellooo? Crumb’s dad? You in here?” He called out before spotting an unfamiliar man. “Oh, hey there. Sorry that Crumb’s not here. She’s actually at Tommy’s tower. I can take you there if you want.” Grian stood there as the man in front of him stayed quiet with his back turned to the avian. “Uh, hello?” He then put a hand on the man’s shoulder.

Sparklez jumped slightly, shocked out of his train of thought before he whirled around and saw Grian.

“Hi! Sorry if I scared you. Crumb’s not here, but I can take you to her.”

“Is… Do you live here?”

Grian nodded. He must not have seen many of the other bases. “Yup! Built the mansion myself. Why?”

Grian’s eyes widened as the man held up a lost child poster. “Where did you get this?”

“Uh, that’s from my old world. The kid’s not mine though. Just sort of-”

Grian was cut off by Sparklez. “I know he’s not your kid. He’s mine!”

“Oh my god you’re the captain.”

“Yeah, I am. People don’t normally call me that.”

Grian just grabbed Jordan’s arm. “No, argh! I mean… Tubbo’s here! Your kid is here! They’re with Crumb and Tommy right now.”

“You mean… that kid… with the green shirt, red bandana. That’s him? The whole time that was him?”

“Oh great, looks like you’ve seen him already. That should make things less awkward. Even more of a reason to go over to the tower. Let’s go!” Grian grabbed Sparklez and pulled him over to an ender chest to hand him some spare elytra and rockets. After he had put the wings on, they both got into the air and then flew to the tower.

When they landed, Grian had to hold Jordan back because he looked like he was about to tear the tower apart. “Hey Tommy!” Grian shouted up to the tower. “Are you guys still there?” When the blond called back in affirmation, Grian shouted again. “Can you three come down here? It’s important!”

“Give me a second! I need to grab some more elytra. Hey can you remind me to change the floor 2 elevator to a down tomorrow?”

“We’ll see. Might be busy for us then.”

In a few moments, Tommy was gliding down with Tubbo, Crumb in Tommy’s arms. Crumb was the first to see Sparklez and frowned. “Aw myan… do I have to leave?”

Her dad didn’t answer as he half stumbled towards them and then held Tubbo in a bone crushing hug.

“Ah! What’s going on?” Tubbo, having no context was confused.

Sheepishly, Grian gave the answer. “So remember how you said you went missing when you were little and couldn’t find your dad? I found a missing person’s poster? Well, Crumb’s dad is the one who made that poster… making him your dad too.”

Everything was silent as everyone comprehended the news, Sparklez just holding Tubbo close and not wanting to let go, but finally Tubbo half screamed from being so surprised. “He’s whAT?!”

Mumbo sat in his room, still dripping wet. He knew he could just go sit in front of some lava or stand in the nether for a while if he felt daring, but instead he was just sitting in his room leaving a puddle behind. He wasn’t sure why he set up an ice mirror, but there it was, waiting for him to take his shirt off.

He just stared at himself, trying to will himself to move, but it just wasn’t working. So he tried talking to his mirror self. “Alright Mumbo. Stop acting like a spoon and just look. It’s going to be there. He was lying and Grian seemed fine when he left. They’re supposed to stay forever. A few years won’t do anything to it.”

Still, Mumbo didn’t move, he just kept staring. “Fine, if that’s how we’re going to do it, I’ll just go ahead!” He closed his eyes and took his tie and jacket off. His hands trembled as he got to the buttons of his dress shirt, but then he steeled himself and undid two of them, pulling his left arm out of the sleeve. There was no hiding it now. He would open his eyes and right there, on the skin just under his clavicle, Mumbo would see it.

The redstoner took a deep breath and opened his eyes, looking into the mirror. He was staring at his face and now where he should, but it was hard to look away. No, he told himself. He had to look and put this all past him. He shifted his gaze and his heart dropped. It was gone, like it had never been there at all.

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