#i love music and their music is sooooooo so addictive to my brain i love accordion dude | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

totaldramafan-lauri · 5 years

Text

Eurovision 2019 Opinions, Predictions, and Rankings

Whew! Got it done in time to relax for a few days until the show starts!

These posts are always really time-consuming to make, but at the end of the day, I like making them. I honestly don’t care if people read them or not, I just like talking about Eurovision, and that’s all there is to it.

If you do decide to read this: this is another year where a lot of my opinions aren’t exactly popular...I do agree with a lot of the possible winners (so it’s not as bad as two years ago), sure, but a lot of MY favorite songs this year are major underdogs. Yeah, I can’t exactly help it if my taste is weird, but I love my favorites and will defend them as long as I can. And hey, I’m American, so I can’t even vote. =P

I do like how there are no songs I dislike this year. That’s a good thing. There are only a few that I’m indifferent to, and everything else, I either like or love. That’s the sign of a good Eurovision.

Now, with further ado, on to the rambling!

(In alphabetical order by country)

Song: Ktheju tokës Country: Albania Thoughts: So, as I expected, Albania wasn't able to reach the same level of awesomeness they did last year. Instead, we...still get a pretty interesting song! I enjoy this song quite a bit, even though it's not one of the huge standout songs to me. It's a bit more "standard Albanian entry", but that's not a totally bad thing. I like the beat here. Nothing wrong with heavy drums. I like drums. Prediction: I don't think this'll qualify, sadly. The second semifinal, which it's in, is super strong, and I don't think this song is good enough to stand out amongst the competition.

Song: Walking Out Country: Armenia Thoughts: I'm really starting to get to the point where I should never underestimate Armenia, since I've adored so many of their recent entries - including them being among my favorites in 2014 and 2016 and among my borderline favorites in 2017 - and now we have this song being one of my favorites this year. I normally love happy songs in Eurovision, but what we don't get as often is a good angry song. A song to listen to when you wanna tell someone off but don't have the courage to! That's what this song is. This lady has a really really strong voice, which is the best part, and she sells the emotion this song is going for super well. Overall a great song that doesn't sound like anything else this year, and...yeah, I love it! Prediction: I'm worried about most of my favorites this year...The betters aren't kind to a lot of them, and it's scaring me. This might be my unluckiest year since 2015, but I could also be worrying too much. I think Armenia do have a chance to qualify, having a very strong song and a good record, so I'll predict that this song'll creep up on people and qualify! If it doesn't, however...I won't be super surprised. There are also a few other songs in the second semifinal that I love even MORE than this one, so if one or more of those make it, I'll be fine if this doesn't.

Song: Zero Gravity Country: Australia Thoughts: Australia are still here, and they clearly give no craps! Well, um...this is a thing. That's what it is, all right! A thing! ...And I like it! Yeah, it took a bit for this song to grow on me, but it eventually did. It's still on the lower end for me, but considering that I don't normally gravitate (heehee) towards opera singing, to the point where I was indifferent to even "La Forza", I'm surprised that I ended up liking this one. Especially with how ridiculous it is! Let's be honest, this is a silly silly song! And that's why I like it! It has lyrics that COULD be taken seriously, sure...I actually kinda like the lyrics. They're clever. But...I'm unable to take the whole thing seriously. This is good "turn your brain off and listen" music for me. Yeah, there are many songs I'd rather listen to, but I'm happy this one exists. It wouldn't be Eurovision without stuff like this...Also, the "Nothing holding me down" part toward the end is extremely hard to shake. That too. Prediction: I'm beginning to think that Australia will always qualify. Their last two entries did not do well in the televoting and were carried by the juries. This one seems to be a BIT more popular, so it'll qualify without much problem. Honestly, I'm all for this! More silliness in the final, I say! ...As long as it doesn't place toward the top. It's not THAT good a song, guys...XD

Song: Limits Country: Austria Thoughts: I didn't like this song when I first heard it, not gonna lie. I didn't like the lady's "Love Injected"-esque voice, and I didn't like how it started building only to slow down again immediately afterward. But sure enough, a few more listens later, aaaaand...it grew on me. Not that I don't think it's one of the weakest songs - I'm still not overly crazy about it - but I just like it now. I got used to it, and I like it for what it is. It's harmless. Prediction: I'm really hoping this doesn't qualify due to it being my least-favorite song in the second semifinal. If it somehow qualifies, it'll be at the cost of a song I enjoy more, so it goes without saying, right? And so far, it's looking like it's not gonna happen, so that's good. I don't think I'll need to worry.

Song: Truth Country: Azerbaijan Thoughts: And we come to the first of my "borderline favorites", which are songs I really like and could become favorites in the final after actual favorites fail to qualify. I have a tendency to like Azerbaijan's entries, and this one is no exception! What's interesting about this song for me is that I kinda like the verses more than the chorus....if that makes sense? It's still got a good chorus, but the thing that sticks out to me the most about this song is the lyrics. I find them relatable in some ways, or at the very least, were relatable in the past. It can be HARD to resist a crush, especially when it grows, and when the person you have feelings for is dangerous in one way or another, you gotta tell yourself over and over to stay away, stay away, it's not worth it. Keep cool under pressure. They want to break you. Easier said than done, right? Also, this song gets points from me for being energetic and not angsty and whiny about it. Pretty much my only nitpick with it is that I'm still not 100% sure what the chorus is saying...I've come up with "Shut up and ride it", "Shut up and ride in", and "Shut up, I'm right here", before finally settling on the last one. XD (Last minute edit: Apparently it’s “Shut up about it”? I don’t hear that at all. O.o) Prediction: Should qualify without much problem. I know, I know, I said that last year too and that didn't happen, but this one's more popular! It's gonna qualify, and Azerbaijan will be back in the final! As for how well it'll place, errr...on the left side of the board, at least. Maybe JUST outside the top ten, since that's how their last few entries (before last year) have done.

Song: Like It Country: Belarus Thoughts: Something I'm gonna be doing a lot of in this post is talking about lyrics. It's true that good and/or relatable lyrics can make a song better for me, plus in Eurovision, stuff like that is completely optional, so it's a treat when we get it. Songs that tell a story are especially likely to win points from me...and then there's stuff like this that has none of that, and yet I absolutely love it anyway. Yeah...as this song shows, the most important part of music is the music. You can have a song that's basically about nothing and I'll be unable to get enough of it if it has a good beat to it, like this does! This song is sooooooo catchy!! I can't understate that! I felt like it had ingrained itself in my mind after only three or four listens! I feel like I'm almost addicted to this song! So, while lyrics I like can help my opinion of a song, what REALLY makes or breaks a song for me is how it sounds, and this one right here is one of my favorites this year just because I have SO much fun listening to it. That's all there is to it, really! Prediction: Barely any of my favorite songs are especially popular, as I've learned...but at least with this one, I can kiiiiiinda understand why it won't be everyone's cup of tea? I'm still obviously rooting for it, and I'll likely freak out if it manages to qualify, but I won't be holding my breath for it. I just wanna have my happy catchy song in the final, OK? XD I don't predict it'll have much of a chance, though...

Song: Wake Up Country: Belgium Thoughts: I didn't have a big reaction to this song when I first heard it, but I had the sneaking suspicion that it'd end up growing on me...and I was right! It's still not a standout, but I enjoy listening to it whenever it comes on. It has a good chorus, nice lyrics, and uh, yeah! Not much to say here, I just like it! Prediction: I'm not sure about this one...I guess I'll say it'll qualify? It's in the weaker semifinal, in my opinion, so it has a chance! It just needs to stand out a bit more...Maybe the staging will help it?

Song: The Dream Country: Croatia Thoughts: ...I wanna make fun of this song so much, but I know I'd just be lying to myself...Yes, this song is incredibly cheesy. A song about how you "dream of love" is way up there on the cheese meter, and this song is taking itself way too seriously....but GOSHDANG IT I like this flipping song! I can't help it! This is Eurovision, I've heard MUCH worse than this (looking at you, "Our Choice")! And the man can sing, OK? Those high notes, just...so good! He's giving it everything he has, to the point where he seems 100% sincere. Like this IS his dream, and he's gonna belt it out to the world to hear! I can't be annoyed at a song that sounds this good, no matter the subject matter... This might not be one of my favorites, but it's definitely my number one guilty pleasure this year. Prediction: Pffffttt, like this song has any chance in such a strong semifinal. XD

Song: Replay Country: Cyprus Thoughts: If I could sum up this song in one sentence it'd be this: Its title fits it. Why? Because it's just "Fuego" again. I'm not kidding, it's literally just "Fuego" with a different melody and a worse instrumental. Now, I don't think it was intentional - I'm not outright accusing Tamta of ripping off Eleni, that'd be dumb. But it still SOUNDS like a ripoff, is my point. It's not a good look. I really loved "Fuego", so having this the very next year, I couldn't help but be slightly disappointed...not that I dislike this song, I don't! I like it just fine! It's fun and upbeat, and I find myself getting into it sometimes! But the point still stands. I would like this song a LOT more if I had just heard it on its own and had never heard "Fuego" before. That's how it is, sorry...It's still a fun song, I'm not gonna deny that! Prediction: This song is currently pretty popular despite those things about it, so yeah, this is gonna qualify. I kinda don't want it to do THAT well in the final, but I can easily see this cracking the top ten.

Song: Friend Of A Friend Country: Czech Republic Thoughts: Eh, there's not really a lot to say about this one. It's...it's fine. I don't really find it that memorable, though. In fact, I might call this the most forgettable song this year, even though it’s still kinda fun. Because at least the songs I like less than it stand out to me by being the worst songs in my opinon. This one's just kinda there, like a song that exists just to fill time. If you like this song, that's fine! It's not bad! It's just...not that good, either. But maybe that's just me. I don't relate to the lyrics at all, so...eh. XD Prediction: I really hope this doesn't qualify...there are so many better songs that deserve it more, even in the weaker semifinal...But as for an actual prediction, I honestly have no idea. A lot more people are paying attention to it than I thought, so maybe I'm just an idiot! Umm...I'll say that...it'll qualify, just by virtue of nothing else really sounding like it (See, I can be nice to songs I'm indifferent to!) Maybe it'll stand out more than I give it credit for. It won't be a big favorite, though, and especially won't be as big a hit as last year's Czech entry was.

Song: Love Is Forever Country: Denmark Thoughts: This is a cute song! Sometimes, that's all I need to like a song, but my favorite thing about this song is that there's MORE to it than just being cute. It also pushes a positive message! So, I could call it preachy for that, but I just can't. You can if you want, but I've heard a LOT worse than this. All this song is saying is that love is for everyone, and that's all! Don't think too hard about it! The lyric that makes this song for me is actually "Don't get too political" - it's quick, but it gets everything across perfectly. Because of that line, I know that this isn't a song trying to push some sort of agenda on you, and is actually discouraging getting up in arms over politics about something as simple as love. And then there's the last bit, where she switches between four different languages to get the point across, and it sounds really seamless! Overall, this is a really sweet song, but it didn't get as big a reaction outta me as the last few Danish entries have gotten. That's a really high standard, though. Oh no, Denmark aren't in my top 7 for the fourth year in a row? What a travesty! XD Prediction: Hmmm...I'm thinking this'll qualify. It isn't a front-runner by any means, but I think people will resonate with it. Sadly, this'll probably be at the cost of another song I like, but so be it. In the final, I don't think it'll stand out as much, probably placing around the middle of the board.

Song: Storm Country: Estonia Thoughts: Ooh, this is a really good one! Part of me wishes I could rank this song higher, but I can't due to how much I love all my favorites and borderline favorites. Still, this is a solid hit from Estonia. Great Aviici-like vibe, nice uplifting lyrics, and a great, energetic chorus...what's not to like? This is the type of song I listen to when I'm in a rut and need something to assure me that I'll be safe and sound. Oddly enough, there was a song called "Storm" last year that was about kinda the same thing...I liked that one, but this one is way better. Prediction: Obviously, I want this to qualify. And I do think it has a chance to! I won't be GUTTED if it doesn't, since it's not an absolute favorite of mine (and it's in the same semifinal as my number one favorite, so that's gonna be my priority mostly XD), but I'd appreciate if it did. More people need to hear this song. And Estonia have a good track record (when they're not being outright robbed *cough*2017*cough), so I'll be optimistic and say this'll qualify. I don't think they'll top how good they did last year, though. But speaking of my number one favorite...

Song: Look Away Country: Finland Thoughts: There's something you should know...and it's YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH FINLAND!! WooooooOOOOOO!! I can't believe they topped last year, but they DID!! This song is so good it amazes me! ...Yeah, if it wasn't obvious, this is my favorite song of the bunch. This song is just.....WOW. It brings on an emotion that no other song this years brings, and it does it SO well. Darude makes dance music, and you even get some of that here. Never before has fear and desperation sounded so fun, without sounding happy! Lemme say that again: It's not a happy song at all, but it's FUN to listen to! It's like a grander version of the standard "morbid party song", and to get that from a guy who's mainly known as a meme nowadays!? This almost makes me feel bad for that...If he can make music like this, he deserves to be known for more. Actually, the fact that this song has been overshadowed by the Darude memes kinda bums me out...This is a song that SHOULD NOT be slept on. It's amazing in every way...even more once you listen to the studio version, which is even better. I say that because the official video is a live performance. Listen to the studio version. It's a lot clearer. Finland seriously knocked it outta the park with this one, I stand by that! Prediction: Ugh....once again, my favorite song isn't getting nearly enough attention...It happened last year with "Stones", another awesome song that I felt deserved more, but ended up not qualifying. That better not happen to this song! PLEASE NO! It's even in the weaker semifinal! It can do it! I believe! I belieeeeeve!! Just.....sound good live then as it does in the music video...or even better! I swear, if this song doesn't qualify, I'm gonna chalk it up to "lol it's Finland" and "lol it's Darude" and nothing else. Put Finland in the final, I'm BEGGING, Europe...even if they don't do well in the final, which they DESERVE to, but even if they don't....at least they'll be there. ...Oh yeah, prediction. Well, obviously, I'm biased! Screw it, I'm predicting it'll qualify! The betters have gotten a lot wrong! They underestimated Eugent Bushpepa, and they're underestimating this!

Song: Roi Country: France Thoughts: Ooooh boy, this song. This was, hands down, the biggest grower for me this year. When I first heard it, my reaction was "It sounds fine, but it doesn't stand out all that much"...well, that opinion lasted a couple days at BEST. Because, while reading YouTube comments, I found out exactly what this song was about, and I was won over. For those who don't know, the singer is gay, and the song is about how he loves this about himself, and how he doesn't care what people think. Because he's a king. "Roi" means "king" in French. Once I learned this, my opinion of this song skyrocketed, as I realized how much this song's message will mean to so many people who watch Eurovision, and how many will relate to it. "You put me in a box, want me to be like you"...It's arguably the most meaningful song this year, so..."Doesn't stand out all the much" my hind end, am I right? XD After that, the more I listened to it, the more I liked it. I like how seamlessly it switches between French and English, and overall, it just sounds good. That's true even disregarding the lyrics and the message. This song may not be one of my favorites, but it's in my top ten, and is my favorite entry from France for a long long time. Prediction: Unsurprisingly, this song has become quite popular, and I'm glad it has! I wouldn't be surprised if France places high! Top ten, maybe? I think the televoters will adore this song. Not sure about the juries, though.

Song: Keep On Going Country: Georgia Thoughts: What's the opposite of "growing on you"? Would that be, uh..."shrinking"? This song right here shrunk on me, as stupid as that sounds. I kinda liked it at first - good voice, could tell it was emotional - but it wore thin on me suuuuper quickly...I'm sorry to the people who like it, but I could care less about it now. Normally, I like a good emotional ballad as long as it's interesting, but this one...it just stagnated. It feels longer than it does. AND there are better ballads this year. The vocals are the only thing keeping this from being my least-favorite. And again, I don't dislike this song, I'm just indifferent to it. Prediction: At least I don't have to worry about this somehow making it to the final! Hahahaha no. It won't. XD

Song: Sister Country: Germany Thoughts: Yet another song that's carried by its lyrics! Yeah, music-wise, this isn't anything special. The harmonies are great, but other than that, yeah. But the lyrics...the story this song tells is really heartwarming. Two sisters (or possibly just friends) admitting to each other that they're tired of fighting and wanna make peace...it hits me pretty hard. Not to say I'm brought to tears over it - that was LAST year's German entry - but it still touches me, as someone who grew up constantly at odds with my own sister. We're very...VERY different people, but we care about each other...that's what I get from this song. And there are some very good lyrics in here. "You were walking right beside me,but I left no room for you", "Calling you my enemy, when my enemy's right here", stuff like that. Even if there are a lot of better songs, I like this song because it feels REAL. And it's not boring, either, so that's good! Prediction: Oof...I don't think Germany are gonna do that well this time. If you don't relate to this song like I do, it doesn't stand out very well...I'm thinking this'll place towards the bottom. Sorry...I wanted them to keep doing well after last year! But I got a bad feeling about this one.

Song: Better Love Country: Greece Thoughts: Greece stepped up their game this year! This is a darn good song. It grew on me in a big way. I love how unique the voice is here, it really helps it stand out. I like her voice a lot! And you gotta love a good bridge! That's probably the best part of the song! This isn't one of my favorites, but I can easily hear the appeal here, and I'm happy that it's popular. Prediction: I wanna say this'll qualify, but that's what I said about "Oniro Mou" too, which seemed to be a shoo-in as well, but...eh, I'm gonna count on that not happening two years in a row. I think this is a better song than that was, anyway. So...gonna expect Greece back in the final this year! Heck, maybe this song will end up doing better than we think it will...

Song: Az én apám Country: Hungary Thoughts: ...Why have there been so many dad songs in Eurovision lately? ...OK, so two last year and one this year doesn't really count as "so many", I know. It's just an interesting trend I've noticed. XD Nothing wrong with wanting to appreciate your dads, though! I'm here for the music! But anyway, Joci, Hungary's representative from 2017, is back! I didn't even realize this at first, but now I can pretty safely say that I like the guy. I liked "Origo", thought it was a really cool and unique song. This one, while I don't think it's as good, is also really nice to listen to. His voice makes this song for me, I like it a LOT. And I like how different it is from his last entry. It proves that he can do different things and he's not trying to make "Origo Part 2". I remember saying something similar about Alexander Rybak last year. Instead of a song that's half rap, we got a slower, more acoustic song that still has a beat to it. I love the last bit especially. It's a great "clap along" moment. Of course, I've listened to it with English subtitles now, and I think the lyrics are pretty touching, so that's a bonus. Prediction: I think this'll qualify. Hungary have been pretty consistent the past few years, and this song isn't nearly forgettable enough to stop that momentum. I don't think it's a front-runner by any means, but it'll at least make it to the final.

Song: Hatrið mun sigra Country: Iceland Thoughts: Well, this is certainly something different for Eurovision! Gotta say, I think I respect this song more than I LIKE it. Screaming has never been my thing, ever. I can tolerate it in small doses, but when a song is MOSTLY screaming, I usually won't like it. So, I thought that'd be the case here. But luckily it did grow on me a bit! It started when I noticed how good the instrumentation was, and started getting used to the screaming instead of cringing at it. It's FAR from my favorite, but that's all genre preference stuff and nothing against it. And c'mon, it's INTERESTING! If you ask me, one of the best things about it is how NOT Eurovision it is! Not just in a musical sense, but even the subject matter - I looked up the translation and hoo boy, did I never expect a song about hatred prevailing and destroying Europe to be in this cheery song contest. And I can't call it a downer because it's sooooo over-the-top with it! I feel like there's so much to dislike about this song, but I can't find it in me to do so! Like I said, it's interesting. (And it's certainly miles above Iceland's entry last year, which I didn't like at all) Prediction: And apparently Europe thinks it's interesting too, because this screamo song is currently in the top 10 picks for the winner in the betting odds. That completely baffles me...But at least I can safely say that it'll qualify for the final due to all the attention it's getting? Not sure if all of it's positive, though...However, songs with vocals like this often sound WORSE live, so either this song'll crash and burn badly, or it'll give Iceland their best showing since 2013, either or!

Song: 22 Country: Ireland Thoughts: This is yet another grower that I've taken to so much that I wish I could rank it higher! It's a really solid song that not only tells a story about trying to move on, but has an upbeat tone that contrasts with that in JUST the right way! It's decently catchy, too! I'm happy that I can enjoy an Irish entry this much, since I haven't in a couple years. Prediction: When I first heard this song, my first thought was "Wow, Ireland are actually trying this year! I think this might actually qualify! They did last year with a boring song that was carried by its staging, so qualifying with this should be easy!" ...buuuuut then I heard the rest of the songs and...yeah, I WISH this had a chance, but the competition is SO strong, especially in its semifinal. It'll be only the second song performed, too...I'd love to hear this in the final, but I won't be hurting too bad if it doesn't make the cut. It's not one of my favorites, I just like it a lot.

Song: Home Country: Israel Thoughts: I find that ballads tend to be growers for me when they don't leave a big first impression. If a ballad has good vocals, and it builds, it can win me over. Like this song! This song is not one of the more notable growers this year, but it's still a grower nonetheless. It's one of the slowest songs of the bunch, but it manages to not be boring, which is something I always like saying. Slow songs ARE NOT always boring. I love this man's voice a LOT. The second verse in particular is where it picks up for me. It sounds like something out of a musical...um, not that I'm normally a musical fan, it's just an observation. It's understandable that Israel wouldn't wanna win two years in a row, so sending a nice ballad like this was a good move. Something good, but not crazy unique...yeah, that probably wasn't intentional, whatever. XD Prediction: I have no idea how this song will do...I can see it being seen as forgettable, but since there aren't many songs like this this year, will that mean it'll technically stand out MORE...? Hmmm...Whatever the case, I can't see this on the top half of the scoreboard, especially with its competition.

Song: Soldi Country: Italy Thoughts: If there's one thing I've learned from the last few years, it's that Italy REALLY wanna win this dang contest. Their entries have been consistently awesome (well, ALMOST consistently, I remember one misstep), and they STILL haven't done it! Makes me feel kinda bad, especially considering they really should've had it two years ago...but eh, I've complained about that one enough. The point is, the Italians keep on trying, and here they are at it again with this song right here! This isn't one of my favorites, but I can definitely hear the appeal here, although I'm not quite sure what it's about, even after looking up the translation...I think it's about people who pretend to care about you, but only want your money, which...yeah, I could see people relating to that. Still, it's fun and catchy, and I could totally try to sing along to this if I knew Italian. I think there are more fun songs this year, but I still like it! Prediction: Once again, the Italian entry is one of the betters' favorites, and I can see this doing pretty well in the final. I don't think this'll be the winner, but that might just be me comparing it to past Italian entries I liked more, hmmm...I wouldn't be opposed to it, though...? It'll at least be in the top ten, I feel.

Song: That Night Country: Latvia Thoughts: This is one of those songs that isn't even close to being a favorite, but still gets lodged in my head despite that! Last year, that happened with "Light me up, light me up, now baby", and this year, we got this song. This downbeat, simple song still manages to have a catchy chorus! It's weird, but true! I would NOT call this the catchiest song in the contest, not when the Belarusian, Polish, and Swiss entries exist, and really, it's only that one part in the chorus. But dang, I've caught myself singing "Lo-o-o-o-ove, where are you? Lo-o-o-o-ove, I need you" many times over the past month. XD But as a whole, this song's pretty sweet and kinda relaxing in a way, but nothing spectacular. Prediction: *ahem* No-o-o-o-o~! ...Sorry, I had to. Um, yeah, this song's not qualifying. Latvia's last entry was a lot better, and that one didn't do it, so this one's not gonna do it, either.

Song: Run With The Lions Country: Lithuania Thoughts: This song's pretty decent, but nothing special. I'm all for happy songs, but I feel like this one doesn't have as much energy as it should...Eh, maybe that's just me. I still like the lyrics, and the beat is fine. I like the little drumrolls during the chorus. It's just not too much of a standout for me....In that regard, it's a typical Lithuanian entry that I like, but don't love. Prediction: I wouldn't really count on this qualifying...It's in the (in my opinion) stronger semifinal, and could easily end up forgotten. But Lithuania have surprised me before, so maybe that'll happen again...? If they do end up qualifying, they will NOT do as well as they did last year, though. Not even close.

Song: Chameleon Country: Malta Thoughts: The pre-chorus of this song is sooooooo good! When life briiiiings you trouble, this I know~ We'll never walk away,nana~ Walk away, nana~ We are TEEEECHNICOLOR, watch us go~ Seriously, if the entire song was as good as that part, this could've been one of my favorites! And as it is, I still really like it. I love the concept of comparing "I can adapt to whatever you throw at me" to chameleons, I think that's really clever! I love stuff like that. It's true that I wish it had a stronger chorus than just "Chama-chameleon" a few times (which I can't help but mishear as "Karma Chameleon", shut up I like my 80s music), but that's only a nitpick. It's a strong entry, and good to see Malta still sending their best after getting robbed last year. Prediction: OK, THIS time, Malta will qualify! This has been rising in the betting odds a bit recently, and I'm happy it's gaining momentum! It's not one of MY favorites, but I still like it, and will look forward to it being in the final! As for how it'll do once it's there...I think it'll probably do pretty well?

Song: Stay Country: Moldova Thoughts: When you say something is your "second-favorite", it's sometimes not taken as a compliment, because it comes off as "Good, but not AS good as this other thing"! Well, here, it's completely the opposite. I LOVE this song so so so so so SOOOOO much, to the point where part of me wishes I COULD call it my favorite. Whenever it comes on, it FEELS like my favorite! This song leaves such an impression on me, and I can't really put into words why...It's just...everything works! I feel a lot of the same emotions from this as from my second-favorite last year, "Mall", in that there's so much raw emotion in the way it's sung, and that just elevates it to a whole new level to me...It sounds weird, but its true: The vocals are incredible here. But my favorite thing about this song is that it BUILDS. HOLY CRAAAAAP DOES IT BUILD. It gets bigger and bigger with each part, and it's soooo effective! And it all caps off with this SUPER AMAZING part with the drums, before the key change kicks in, just, MMMMMMMM, good flipping stuff!! Again, putting my love of this song into words is really difficult, just like it was with "Mall", so I guess the short version is: It gives me feels. And if a song gives me good feels, I'll love it. Prediction: As much as I wanna say the same thing as I did with Finland's entry here, I really can't. I COULD call this song underrated, but this might also be a case of knowing that it's...just me. Moldova are known for sending over-the-top, silly stuff, which this song is far from. And emotional powerbombs like this song aren't as popular, though they CAN be....I dunno, I WANNA be optimistic here, and say it'll qualify, but looking at how overlooked it is, I just can't do it....The second semifinal is chalk full of strong songs, so the chances of this one making it...I'll just have to pray that it's staged beautifully, or else...As it is, it's not looking so good. How I react depends on how Finland does in the first semifinal. But right now, I've mostly accepted the fact that my opinion of this song is in the minority, and that it...p-probably...won't...qualify...But at least I'll keep loving it.

Song: Heaven Country: Montenegro Thoughts: Guess what? Yet another unpopular opinion! I personally really like this song, and don't understand why a lot of people don't care for it. I have no problem with it! I like happy songs, and this one's got a unique sound to it that makes it stand out. Not to mention, I adore the vocals here! Especially the female vocals, I think those voices are gorgeous. I mean, I GUESS it's a little repetitive? But the repetition doesn't bother me one bit, especially compared to stuff like "Do It For Your Lover". Like I said waaaaayyy up there about Belarus' entry, lyrics aren't everything in a song. Sometimes all it takes is sounding good, and that's true here. I dare say this is one of my favorite songs from Montenegro for quite a few years! Prediction: Dead last in the betting odds, a country that doesn't have a good record with qualifying...Yeah, this song's probably doomed. I'd be pleasantly surprised if it qualified, though!

Song: Arcade Country: The Netherlands Thoughts: Well, I wasn't as surprised at this year's pre-contest favorite as much as last year's, that's for sure! This is a good darn song. My favorite thing about it is definitely its lyrics. Comparing a hopeless love to an arcade of all things? That's something I've never thought of before, and it flipping WORKS! It's crazy! Maybe it just works for ME since I'm a gamer with a crush, but still! "Loving you is a losing game" is one of the best lyrics in the contest this year, I stand by that. XD Sure, the song starts off slow, but the chorus is worth the buildup. Especially the final chorus! It took a few listens for me to take notice of the brilliance here, and I still wouldn't call it one of the standout songs for me personally, but I totally understand this song's popularity. Prediction: I could very well see this being our winner, unless some other song ends up usurping it live. Since it's not one of my favorites, I can't really say I'm rooting for it (of the top-ranked songs, I'm definitely team Sweden, and even prefer Switzerland too), but I certainly wouldn't mind it! The Netherlands haven't won in a suuuuuuuper long time! I still wouldn't put all my coins in this slot though (heehee), since things could always change...for now, all I'm predicting is that this song will qualify for the final, and place in the top ten.

Song: Proud Country: North Macedonia Thoughts: This is a pretty good ballad. I like it. It's not outstanding, but I don't think it's trying to be. It's going for the "simple yet effective" approach. Like any good ballad, it has strong vocals, and its message is pretty good too, letting you know that being proud and standing up for yourself is a-OK! Despite those praises however, I can't say it stands out all the much...I mean, I GUESS it's one of only a few ballads this year, but still...It kinda gets lost in the shuffle to me, which has sadly been a trend with the Macedonian entries the past few years... Prediction: This song is more popular than I thought it'd be, but Macedonia have suuuuuch bad luck at Eurovision that I STILL can't be positive this'll qualify. Especially since it's in the second semifinal - in my opinion, the stronger one. If it does qualify, good for them, but...I kiiiiinda hope it won't? I mean, I like it, but the second semifinal has such good stuff in there that this qualifying could come at the price of a song I like more....but eh, it's still a good enough song. If it does make it to the final, I don't see it placing that highly, though. This won't be another "Crno I Belo", is what I'm getting at.

Song: Spirit In The Sky Country: Norway Thoughts: One of my favorites! This is a song that I thought was cool the first listen, and amazingly awesome now. The best way I can describe it is...it's to this year what "Higher Ground" was last year - it has that atmosphere to it that just gives you chills, and I LOVE songs that can do that! Granted, I don't think this song is QUITE as effective as "Higher Ground" was, and there are definitely differences in that this song is more poppy than that was, but it's still an achievement! A song that has a magical quality to it while also having a boppin' beat! Oh, and the vocals on this are excellent, too. And the "joiking" is super cool, and...everything here comes together perfectly! This is one of the best songs this year, and I will go down defending it! Prediction: This is thankfully one of my two favorites I won't have to worry about in the semis (the other being Sweden). This song's getting a lot of attention, for good reason, and even though it's fallen a BIT in the betting odds when I last checked it, I'm still not worried about it in the slightest. Norway's good to go this year! I'll even predict a top ten finish here because I'm just that optimistic!

Song: Fire Of Love (Pali się) Country: Poland Thoughts: So, you know how I feel about scream-singing.....how about yell-singing? That's a unique thing that we don't get often, although it's tradition in a lot of places I understand...This is the kind of thing that not everyone's gonna like, but...I really like this song. It's one of my borderline favorites. It just sounds so goshdang happy, and that beat is infectious! This is one of the catchiest songs this year, right up there with Belarus' song. The unique vocals really add to it, too - I feel that if it was sung normally, I wouldn't like it as much. Stuff like this can be hit or miss with me, so I'm happy this one's a hit. Poland's taking a risk this year, and I hope it works out for them! Prediction: Hoo boy, this song's gonna be devisive...It's currently pretty low in the betting odds, so I'm honestly not expecting it to qualify. It all hinges on how it sounds live, I guess...as a fan, I really hope I'm proved wrong, but I wouldn't mind losing this one if my two favorites in the first semifinal make it through and it doesn't.

Song: Telemóveis Country: Portugal Thoughts: Like the Australian entry, this song confused me when I first heard it...even moreso since I didn't understand the lyrics. XD But it interested me, with its unique instrumentation, and after looking up the translation, I like it more now! I like the story it tells! Even beyond that, I think it sounds pretty good. I normally don't gravitate towards this kind of music, so coming across something like this and enjoying it was something I didn't expect at all. The downside of this song is that it wears on me if I listen to it too much, however, so it's not toward the top of my list...But still, good work Portugal, this is yet another entry from you I like! Keep it up! Prediction: I'm predicting that Portugal will qualify this year. Like I said before, nothing else sounds like it, and not in a bad way, so I can see it leaving a reasonable impact. The betting odds agree with me on this one. Not sure how well it'll do once it's in the final, though...

Song: On A Sunday Country: Romania Thoughts: This is a song that I know by heart, despite it not being a favorite. It's got a mesmerizing beat that makes me wanna sway along every single time, what can I say? I like how it slowly builds, but I also like how it sounded at the beginning with the guitar. The lyrics are great, too. It's about being unable to move on from a past love. This song won't be for everyone, but I think it's a good one. Prediction: Now that we know that it IS in fact possible for Romania to not qualify, I'm....honestly not sure about their chances. I believe that their last entry was a better song, and that just BARELY didn't make it...plus, it's in a very solid semifinal. Hmmm...I'll say that...it sadly won't qualify. Going off the betting odds for this one, since I have no idea otherwise. I can see people thinking it's a bit too plain of a song...Maybe Moldova will help, maybe it won't be enough...If it does qualify, I'll be pretty happy, though!

Song: Scream Country: Russia Thoughts: Last year, Russia failed to qualify for the final for the first time ever. THIS year, they're not playing around. They brought back the guy who won the televote in 2016, Sergey Lazarev! Naturally, I was excited about this, since at this point, I think I can safely call "You Are The Only One" one of my favorite Eurovision entries EVER. It's up there, at least! This song, however, isn't as good, but only due to the bar being set too high. XD This is a great song! It's very hard-hitting and emotional, with great lyrics about fighting inner demons...I mean, c'mon, after loving the heck outta "Monsters" last year, it should be obvious right now that I like songs about that, right? However, even with all the praise I can sing about this song, it's not one of my favorites. Only due to competition, though! Prediction: This is easy! This is one of the favorites to win! It's currently up there with the Netherlands! I have a hard time deciding which of those two I like more...I think this one? But I'd be fine with either or. But the point is, it's gonna qualify and do really well in the final. This is a top ten song! ...I say top ten to be safe. I've been doing that after what happened two years ago. XD I could very well see this winning if it's performed well, though! And I'd be fine with it!

Song: Say Na Na Na Country: San Marino Thoughts: This song is SOOOO much fun, oh my god! It's amazing just how much better this is than the last time Serhat was in Eurovision! "I Didn't Know" was a song I could only like ironically, and now he gives the world THIS! You can still easily tell it's him - his voice is distinct - it's just that now he's not trying to be smooth, he's trying to have fun. And oh boy does it work! What's funny is that this is yet another "Let's cut loose and have a good time" song, and I like it SO much more than Lithuania's entry in that regard. It's more upbeat, and it's got so much more going for it! Yes, it's goofy, and yes, it's not deep at all, but it's not trying to be. Just listen to Serhat's ridiculous voice and have a good time. If this were a weaker year, this could've been a borderline favorite for me, but since there are quite a few songs I happen to like more, I can't rank it any higher. Prediction: Yeeeeaaaahhh....no. From what I've seen, the people who like this song REALLY love it, but it won't be enough to get San Marino in the final. I'd be more than happy to be proven wrong, but I don't think that's gonna happen unless something really crazy happens. I'll be perfectly fine with seeing it once live, but it's not final material for sure.

Song: Kruna Country: Serbia Thoughts: Oh my god, the pipes on this lady! What a voice! What an amazing voice! And the way the song builds after the first chorus, mmmm, good stuff! Yeah, this is another song that I wish I could rank higher. I'm always so focused on my favorites, and whenever this song comes on I think "Oh yeah, this song exists and is really really good!" I get that reaction from a few songs, but this is definitely one of the bigger examples of that. I really do adore this one. I love the lyrics, too. It's just a declaration of love and devotion, simple as that, and daaaaang does she sell it! Prediction: This is pretty low in the betting odds, but I honestly still think it has a fair chance of qualifying. Serbia have a pretty good track record, and this is a solid entry from them. This song could end up creeping up on people and winning them over like it did me!

Song: Sebi Country: Slovenia Thoughts: And we come to my least-favorite song this year...Gotta put the mandatory "sorry if you like it" comment here before saying that...this just isn't my thing. I obviously do have the ability to like downbeat stuff, but this just doesn't do it for me. The singer sounds half-asleep, and if the singer doesn't sound interested in what she's singing, why should I be? I know there are people out there who like that type of vocal (my dad does, off the top of my head), but I'm not one of those people. This gets absolutely no reaction out of me whatsoever. Maybe I'd like it more if I could understand the lyrics? ...But on the other hand, the fact that it's in Slovene is arguably the most interesting thing here, so I dunno about that. And y'know what? I'll say this: If this is the worst Eurovision 2019 has to offer, than that's a pretty good thing! Because this is FAR from the most boring song to come out of this contest. Heck, this isn't even the worst Slovenian entry I've ever heard, either. There ARE times where it feels like I could almost come close to liking it, mainly due to the instrumentation, and that's more that I could say about my least-favorites from previous years. The last three years there's been one That One Song that I can't stand, and this doesn't even come close to that. I'll take indifference to that any day. Prediction: I wish I could say this has no chance of qualifying, but I think it does...Seeing it getting more attention from the betters than the songs from the first semifinal that I actually love is mildly upsetting. But since I don't feel anything either way for it, I guess it being in the final would be...fine. As long as I get stuff I like alongside it.

Song: La Venda Country: Spain Thoughts: FUN! I like fun songs! And I like how many fun songs there are this year! Dang, this is a good one...just a solid burst of energy, the kind of music you listen to for a good pick-me-up. When I hear this song, I don't hear someone trying to win a competition, I hear someone just wanting to party! There's not really much else to say, because I think that about sums it up. It's a lot of fun and makes me smile! Eurovision in a nutshell, really. Spain's entry last year didn't leave much of an impression on me (to the point where it took me a couple moments to remember what it was), but I have a feeling that won't be the case this year. Prediction: Like I said, this is just a happy feel-good song, not winner material, but I really do think Spain could got outta their bad streak with this. It's been getting a fair amount of attention, and it definitely stands out! This is the most solid Spanish entry for quite a while, and I think many people agree with me on that.

Song: Too Late For Love Country: Sweden Thoughts: Feels great to have Sweden back in my top 5, since the last time that happened was with "Heroes"! Their entries can be flipping incredible, and this song is just THAT! HOOOOOLY CRAP this song is SOOOO GOOD! Like with Moldova above, I can't even articulate everything I like about this song! I'll try though...*ahem* Good singer! Great lyrics! The way the song comes alive at the chorus JUST as the lyrics get the most uplifting! Not to mention those two simple words, "HEAR ME!" carrying so much weight...And the flipping CHOIR, my god, it fits in perfectly and adds so much! It's SUCH a big song, such a grand declaration of love, and I'm a sucker for everything in it! What's more to say? I love this song! It's very solidly my third favorite in the contest, and, no joke, my favorite Swedish entry since the famous "Euphoria". Not sure how many people will agree with me on that. XD Prediction: It should come as no surprise that out of the betters' favorites, this one is my favorite, though being ranked fifth doesn't mean it's an absolute front-runner once the contest starts...Still, I'm team Sweden all the way! I'm not expecting this to be the winner, but anything less than the top five doesn't do this song justice. And, well, at least I won't have to worry about this one not qualifying, unlike my top two!

Song: She Got Me Country: Switzerland Thoughts: And we come to the last of the big favorites! The one that nearly EVERYONE on YouTube has in their top five, and honestly...I can see why! This song is a ton of fun, simply put. It's catchy and has great instrumentals that make you wanna dance along! But, uh...I can't be the only one who liked Switzerland's last entry better, right...? They actually sent my favorite song last year...So there was no way this song was gonna live up to that for me. XD I loved "Stones", and it didn't make it to the final. The fact that this one is getting so much attention COULD bother me for that reason, but it doesn't. I can recognize a really fun song when I hear one, and this is just that. Not only that, but with how Switzerland's record is, ANY entry of theirs getting this popular is a treat! It could've been overlooked, but it hasn't, because it's just that good! Prediction: This song would have to sound REALLY bad live in order to not qualify. XD And I'm not counting on that to happen! Welcome back to the final, Switzerland! In fact...I hope I don't eat my words for this, but...This might end up being their most successful showing of the 2010s...There's not much competition for that, mind you, so I'm pretty much just saying "They'll do better than they did in 2014". Yeah. XD

Song: Bigger Than Us Country: United Kingdom Thoughts: And we finally come to the last song...and daaaaang is it a good one! Yeah, believe it or not, the UK's entry is one of my favorites this year! I LOVE this song! It takes the sincere cheesiness of Croatia's entry and pumps it full of everything I love about Sweden's entry, if that makes sense - the vocals on this are incredible, and the buildup is one of the best! This song gets bigger and bigger as it goes, until it reaches the point where it doesn't JUST feel like love is the thing that's bigger than us, but also this song. Whenever I listen to this song, I feel nothing but joy. Complete and utter joy. Maybe this song isn't as technically impressive as, say, "Never Give Up On You", but for me, this is the absolute biggest reaction I've gotten out of one of the UK's entries since 2014. Good. Flipping. Stuff. Prediction: Sadly, I feel like this song's not gonna do as well as it deserves...The UK have struck out with the televoters the past couple years and it's really brought them down. I hope this'll be the year that trend is broken, but given how strong the competition is....eeeehhh...Maybe they'll do better than last year? But any more than that, I dunno...It's sad, since this is one of my favorites, but at least I won't be surprised....unless it does unexpectedly well! In that case, sure, I wouldn't mind being surprised! ^^

And that's all of 'em! Are you still here? Did you read all of that? If you did, good work, I applaud you. XD I'm definitely a rambler. But here's the part that really matters: my ranking!

Favorites:

1. Finland 2. Moldova 3. Sweden 4. Norway 5. UK 6. Belarus 7. Armenia

Borderline Favorites:

8. Poland 9. Azerbaijan 10. France 11. Estonia

Like:

12. Switzerland 13. Serbia 14. San Marino 15. Croatia 16. Ireland 17. Russia 18. Malta 19. Spain 20. Netherlands 21. Montenegro 22. Romania 23. Hungary 24. Italy 25. Belgium 26. Greece 27. Cyprus 28. Denmark 29. Albania 30. Germany 31. Israel 32. Iceland 33. Lithuania 34. Latvia 35. Portugal 36. North Macedonia 37. Australia 38. Austria

Indifferent:

39. Czech Republic 40. Georgia 41. Slovenia

#eurovision #opinions

3 notes · View notes

birbofathena · 5 years

Text

twitter has a character limit, which is why we’re here

hi there. it's been a lil while, huh.

scrolling through my twitter, i found this (seen below) and i'm in the mood for rambling on and on so woo here we go.

Have you ever

1. skipped class

never with the intent of skipping class. i've missed quite a lot of class in my time, but my brain gets awful sick in the winter, which really inhibits my ability to do "normal human" things. i see a therapist every two weeks.

2. done drugs

nah. addiction plagues my paternal family line, and we're seeing glimpses of it in my brother as well. will i try drugs? maybe weed. anything that can be a one-and-done thing, just to try it. never nicotine. never alcohol.

3. self harmed

nope. i have an irrational fear of the consequences that might come of that specifically, and frankly i'm better off for it. heaven knows i've spent enough time thinking about that for one lifetime.

4. drank

see question two. it's funny that a differentiation between alcohol and everything else exists, imo.

5. shoplifted

i don't think so. i'm really starting to wonder about the demographic that this question set was originally made for.

6. gotten a tattoo

nope! maybe one day. probably a nice little flower, with an inkling of color peeking at the edges of its petals. probably on my back somewhere, so that i'm always a bit surprised when someone points it out. "oh yeah, i have that. cool, huh?"

7. broken up with someone

once. even then, we weren't official. my reasoning was that i wasn't ready, though frankly i think we both weren't. i didn't even know what i wanted. perhaps what i do want is something that maybe not a lot of high-schoolers want - something pragmatic, honest, somewhat more private. or that could be what most people do want. i really don't get out that much.

What's your favorite

8. show

my gut response is over the garden wall. i love, love, love fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood too, though i'm waiting until i have the chance to watch it with a friend of mine to finish it. it's sooooooo intense. don't spoil me, please!

9. movie

i'm not a real movie type of person, so i always default to the movies that i grew up watching whenever this question is asked - the incredibles, the lion king, monsters inc. ...

10. song

you might as well ask, "who's you're favorite child?" there are simply too many. here, if you want to feel out my taste for music, this is my main playlist. feel free to follow that (and me) for more! i get a kick out of having followers on spotify, for some reason. (sidenote: i created a whole new account so that i could change the username, so that account really needs some love again. curse the constant state of toil for consistency i'm in. everywhere the world must know me as birbofathena.)

11. artist

i read a lot of webcomics, so while i can't speak of any historic artists, i do think you should definitely check out ari (and his comic here), owen (and the comic she writes and colors for here), toby (and his comic here), and vi (and her comic here).

12. singer / band

this is an easier question, because i can just take a look at whom i listen to the most. now, i listen to a lot of ambient music, so right off the bat, i can recommend moby, ulrich schnauss, balmorhea, and chihei hatakeyama. speaking about the more "mainstream" artists, i like marina, mgmt, elton john, the 1975, patti page, and tessa violet.

13. memory

lately i've been thinking a lot about how i, as a kid, spent my time laid on the cement by the yard of my first house, watching the bees work on the clover. from one small flower to the next. watching them dig through the petals in search of nectar. it may not be my favorite, but it's what comes to mind.

14. book

i'm reading the poisonwood bible right now, which has been so fantastic. seriously, read it if you haven't yet. aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe is another excellent book.

This or that

15. invisibility or the ability to fly

invisibility, because violet is my favorite character from the incredibles. she's so cool. also worth noting: you start flying everywhere, and soon enough you'll find that you've become a living carnival ride.

16. cookies or cake

when done right, cake every time. cookies produce more consistent results though - as far as pleasing me goes - so long as there's chocolate somewhere within. ~~cookies without chocolate are an atrocity.~~ EDIT (10TH MAY '19) - jamie, u ignorant slut. i completely forgot about sugar cookies, in their entirety. forgive me. cookies can live their lives as they please. i know nothing.

17. twitter or facebook

twitter. hell, anything that isn't facebook. facebook's the place that moms go to to eat each other alive. having a facebook account is plain unhealthy.

18. movies or books

depends, really. there're awful movies who have awesome book counterparts, and vice versa. and to be fair, each medium offers things that the other one can't. if you were to ask me though, i'd say books. the feeling that you get when you reach the end of a book is like no other.

19. coke or sprite

this is a lame question, and everyone knows it. the real question on everyone's mind is: coke or pepsi? and i am a pepsi drinker. though the flavored cokes that've been coming out lately are pretty tasty as well. f me up with that strawberry guava, yes please.

20. blind or deaf

anxiety or depresson? brain cancer or pancreatic cancer? alzheimer's or parkinson's? need i say more?

21. tea or coffee

i haven't actually ever tried coffee, though i've been told that i'd like it (due to my liking dark chocolate so much)! i don't really like most teas though; i'll only drink this one herbal tea called bengal spice which is a pseudo-chai tea.

What's your

22. age

i'm 18. i was born 18th february, 2001, at 18:18. whew.

23. sign

pisces sun, capricorn moon, virgo rising

24. height

5′8″ or 173 cm

25. sexual orientation

gay

26. shoe size

9.5 in US mens

27. religion

i don't associate myself with any one religion. i think it's one of those things that's good for some and terrible for others. just do what makes you happy.

28. longest relationship

tbd. the non-relationship described in question 7 went for nearly three weeks.

Opinion on

29. gay rights

i always hear that a lot of homophobic people are lgbt themselves, which is strange to me. though i suppose it's in my nature to be unforgivably confrontational when it comes to inner turmoil, so i'll never really be able to understand homophobic lgbt folk. it goes without saying, then: i support "gay rights," if that's even a differentiation we want to make. i also support "women's rights," "homeowners' rights," and "dogs' rights."

30. second chances

i think for the most part i can empathize with those whom have struggles and missteps i haven't personally experienced. i am a very feeling person. there is an exception to this, but only when one's done something so blatantly wrong - decisions driven by greed or malice.

31. long-distance relationships

tough and complicated. having a relationship through messaging allows both parties to understand how the other thinks - their opinions, their emotions. essentially how their brain functions, because there are few things more idiosyncratic than language, and writing allows one to take full advantage of that. however, having a relationship in-person grants this knowledge, and so much more. (no one said that in-person relationships can't include any messaging, anyway.) we don't speak with just our tongue. what about the silent conversations? what about physical compatibility? like i say, it's tricky, but i think it's more-or-less doable.

32. abortion

i'm pretty pro-choice. if one'd like to offer up their child for adoption, that'd be cool, but no one should feel obligated to do so. whatever you're comfortable with is what i'll support you doing.

33. the death penalty

absolutely not, not ever. it costs more to pull that trigger than it is to sentence someone to life in prison. they must be absolutely sure that they have the guilty before killing them, which takes a long time to decide, and attorneys' time is expensive. and if a mistake is made and an innocent person is killed, boy, do you have one hell of a lawsuit on your hands. not only that, but it is so hypocritical of us to be killing someone... for killing someone. the whole thing doesn't make sense, and i'll tell you why it's still around: people want to kill, kill, kill anything that is bad, bad, bad. dog bites your child? kill that monster. say goodbye to the family pet. people feel so strongly that they've triumphed over evil when they see this drastic result - a carcass underneath their feet. to hell with that.

34. marijuana

i keep saying this: do what you want. marijuana doesn't hurt anything. humans have been doing it ever since we discovered fire. it's absurd that we regulate it now.

35. love

love. it's different for everyone, but for me, it's an enhancement of life. not something necessary, but something that's nice to have. to have someone to bounce ideas off of 24/7. to have someone to turn to in a crisis. to have someone who mourns with you after a loss. indeed, one can face these alone with relative ease, but it's just easier to have someone by your side along the way.

Do you

36. believe in ghosts

yes. old houses might just as well have a mouth, they have so much to say. brand-spanking-new houses are barren, lifeless. i know you know this feeling. ghosts aren't necessarily the malicious, turbulent spirits everyone wants you to believe. they're the vestiges of life, left behind by anyone who's ever felt strong enough to leave them.

37. shower facing the shower head or away from it

away from it, always. who faces the shower head? do they shower with their eyes closed the whole time? just... what?

38. sleep with the door open or closed

i sleep with it closed, though i need to start leaving it open more. it's been getting awfully stuffy.

39. love someone

no. it's not something i'm currently looking for, though my therapist did ask in my last session... i don't know. will it be something i will ever truly look for? i hate the idea of online dating, though that's just my first impression. i just don't know.

40. still watch cartoons

of course. i watch plenty of anime, but if that doesn't count as "cartoons," i also watch and rewatch steven universe, over the garden wall (as mentioned above), and gravity falls.

41. have a boyfriend / girlfriend

nope.

42. like yourself

hell yeah.

#i'm sure this is the most effort anyone's put into this silly question thingy #i even did it in markdown on visual studio code #i'm still so confused... why would anyone in their right mind shower FACING the shower head #twitter

1 note · View note

hellfire-damnation · 6 years

Photo

[In which we see Sav’s eclectic af taste in music and also the sadness that is her priesty.]

Act One

Back Against the Wall by Cage the Elephant

Blanket of silence makes me want to sink my teeth in deep Burn all the evidence of fabricated disbelief Pull back the curtains, took a look into your eyes My tongue has now become a platform for your lies

Claude and Laurent have a very strained and vicious and abusive relationship. This song, for me, becomes the starting point of Laurent using Claude, trying to break him apart and make him feel worthless. A lot of Laurent’s awful, awful teachings were pushed onto Claude early on that was one of the reasons Arnaud cam to be so violent and awful.

Island by Young the Giant

Oh, what if the whole world finds you waiting Oh, as it can so long now have Oh, I thought you knew that I'd be coming The way you move, a foreign groove, at night

The one thing that kept Claude sane when he was older and under Laurent’s thumb, already incredibly exposed to abuse and emotional turmoil, was sneaking into the town close by (possibly near his university) and watching the women who danced in the streets. This was the one ray of hope he had, truly, at this time. Not because he loved them or was infatuated with them but because they were something he was not: free.

Sound of Silence by Disturbed

Hello darkness, my old friend I've come to talk with you again Because a vision softly creeping Left its seeds while I was sleeping And the vision that was planted in my brain Still remains

This song really speaks to the pain and damage that has been done to Claude. I haven’t had a chance to explicitly talk about it but some new plots are going to reveal more of it (eyyy Kiara). One of the things I want to focus on is how badly he was hurt and how that influenced the creation of his personalities and his reliance, if unknowingly, upon them.

Prisoner by James Arthur

Oh I, I tried so hard to change But the devil locked my door I'll wear these heavy chains Around my neck like a prisoner I just wanna love But he won't let me go Loosen up my chains Oh, I'm a condemned prisoner

Sooooo this is like....Claude Now, his headspace. He doesn’t show a lot and he is pretty reserved but that’s all from Laurent. Even the man’s death coughmurdercough has left a huge burden on him.

Addiction by Counterfeit

I hit rock bottom But that was last autumn Now I'm keeping myself in line I hit rock bottom But now I'm back at 'em Taking each day at a time This is holiness This my alibi This is addiction This is my last try

Hi Howl’s Not Band okay so this song is a bit...of a mix? It’s about Claude trying to be better once he leaves France, coming to terms with himself and working towards what he wants, as is a huge goal for me for him. He is slowly getting there and tbh I am gonna be super proud of him (and myself) when he does. But the top lyrics are more about him leaving France, picking somewhere and just going, and the bottom are him realizing he needs to be better, do better, and become someone to look to for guidance and support because he could at least be that for people bc he didn’t have that at all.

Act Two

Let It Go by James Bay

I used to recognize myself It's funny how reflections change When we're becoming something else I think it's time to walk away

So yes this song is a relationship song but, like the previous two, it focuses on Claude and him trying to get better. He’s speaking with Roscoe about his issues and he now has some other people in the works, too, and they’re helping him realize he needs to move on as much as they need help with whatever they’re dealing with.

Solitude by Jeremy Soule

So this song has no lyrics, but I think that’s because there is a space in Claude that...doesn’t need them? There is a section of him that is unwritten and it still needs to be given words, it just has music to it. And it’s soft and sad but there’s something there that speaks of hope, and I love that for him.

Below my Feet by Mumford and Sons

Keep the earth below my feet For all my sweat, my blood runs weak Let me learn from where I have been Keep my eyes to serve and my hands to learn

And I was still I was under your spell When I was told by Jesus all was well So all must be well

OH GOSh OKAY I have sooooooo many feelings about Mumford & Sons and Claude okay??? I had such a hard time choosing a song of theirs for him bc I wanted to use them all...but I think this song gets at it the most. Claude has always struggled with his faith because of who it was that “cared” for him and he has come to terms with a lot of stuff but he still struggles. So this song is idk perfect for that??

Demons by Imagine Dragons

They say it's what you make I say it's up to fate It's woven in my soul I need to let you go

Your eyes, they shine so bright I want to save their light I can't escape this now Unless you show me how

Okay so this song is totally influenced by Kiara and her adorable little bb Sally. The stuff we have planned for them and what I see hapening for Claude in the upcoming times of struggle and coming to terms with stuff is gonna be GREAT and I will be emotional about it always. So yeah this is that song for that period.

Mon Combat (*Tir Nam Beo) by Zaho & Florent Mothe

On ne choisit pas d’où l’on vient On choisit ce que l’on devient À qui la faute ? Faute à la vie C’est pas ma faute mais c’est ainsi Ici-bas, Tir Nam Beo Mon combat, Tir Nam Beo Nous voilà dévoilés Faut tout laisser aller Dam da di dam da di dam da di da dou dé

Basically from what I’ve seen these lyrics translate to something about fat being what life is and that’s how it influences stuff. It’s a tad pessimistic but there are still parts of Claude that are like that. So I think that song fits for those days.

10 Feet Down by NF (ft. Ruelle)

Yeah I know the person in the mirror's not a perfect one I look at him everyday and think he's not enough My life's a book that I don't really like to open up

Church is where I found God, but it's also where I learned to judge Yeah, I had to learn there's a difference between What you want, and what you really need I've always been motivated by comments from people tellin' me Things that I'll never be, and then I become it, this is my everything

The winddown of Claude’s little tale, it’s a bit sad but it talks about how he feels and that’s what’s important here, shows that he will improve and actually do this IRL with someone.

Hallelujah by Pentetonix

Well baby I've been here before I've seen this room and I've walked this floor I used to live alone before I knew ya And I've seen your flag on the marble arch (marble arch) And love is not a vict'ry march (a vict'ry march) It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah (broken Hallelujah) Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I needed this very sad and somewhat broken song on Claude’s playlist and I thought it would be a fitting ending, something to tie it all in. Whether it be because he relapses into some of his old bad thoughts or he has something happen that seriously impacts him, this song also ties in his faith, which is important because that will be evolving as he does and that’s a big part of him, as his recovery and overcoming his trauma and his DID is to his fundamental character.

#monsieur: claude #bdrptask #music #//links to be added

1 note · View note

savemefromanepicoftimewasted · 7 years

Text

Gone To Soon 2

sooooooo since I’m still bedridden and bored as fucking hell enjoy part two lol this one is a lot longer so get ready to read

It felt weird going back to his office, was I entirely sure I wanted to open up anymore and possibly bring up more trauma? What if he alerted authorities that I was suicidal and had me put into a hospital until they felt as if I was better? I couldn't go back, I wasn't crazy like the rest of them. I was just upset at losing my girlfriend is all, nothing crazy about that. So what if I tried to down a bottle of pills while drinking a bottle of scotch? I just didn't want to hurt anymore, I wanted to feel completely numb. I wanted to feel happy.

“Your mother told me you tried to commit suicide” Brian was looking at me over his glasses. It felt as if he was silently judging me, but I'm sure he was expecting a reason why.

“I did, my friend Zack found me lying on my bedroom floor with a bottle of sleeping pills in one hand and an empty bottle of scotch by my feet” I laced my fingers together and looked at him, there was no point in denying the truth.

“Does it have to deal with the death of your girlfriend? Or something new?” Brian looked down at his paper as he wrote, he knew damn well it was about Val.

“Her death, I just didn't want to feel anymore pain. I wanted to wake up and just feel like a normal person for once” I squeezed my fingers together and frowned, my knuckles turning white under the pressure.

“You wanted to be free of pain?” Brian had stopped writing, his eyes locked onto me.

“I did, she died because some asshole decided to drink and drive. He took away the only person that ever truly mattered to me in a matter of minutes” I ground my teeth together, barely spitting the words out. I felt more anger at the man who got away with her murder more than anything. His parents were rich, so he was able to get off scot free while the rest of us had to suffer!

Brian sat back against his chair and watched me, as if he was trying to decipher my thoughts, or actions at this point. I wasn't entirely sure what I should tell him anymore, there was no way he would ask about my friends and how they came into play anymore. He wanted to know about me, and why I was the way I am. It's just that I didn't want to talk about myself anymore, I wanted to crawl back into the dark place I was in and hide. This was never supposed to happen, I was supposed to grow old with Val by my side, maybe have some kids. And yet I couldn't have that, I had to accept everything that happened and I didn't want to. I just wanted someone to hold me and tell me everything would be alright in the end.

“Matt, can we continue the session or would you like to end early?” Brian's voice was full of concern. He was only trying to make sure I was alright, at least someone besides my mother noticed.

“We can continue” I mumbled softly, I was starting to feel bad for lashing out.

“Last time we talked about your friends seemed to help, why don't you talk about them some more?” Brian had kept his gaze on me, never even glancing down to the sheet of paper on his lap.

“Well, Johnny just told me him and his wife are expecting their second child. His wife is hoping for a girl, though I don't blame her. One Johnny is enough in the world” I chuckled, I could hear her bitching at him when Johnny had called with the news. Their son was a handful, and since he was crawling he tried to get into as much trouble as possible.

“What's his wife like? Do you like her?” Brian had picked up his clipboard and pen again, I knew he wasn't assuming I felt anything for her.

“She's great, helps keep him level headed since he used to be a real shithead when we were younger, especially when he drinks. He would get into trouble with the cops at least four out of five times. But when he met her, it was like he knew all that stuff wasn't important anymore. Of course he made a bad first impression and she thought he was a total dick” I shook my head and laughed, it was really a sight to see.

“It seems like he made it up to her though, considering they got married and had children” Brian was writing as he talked, I wondered if I said something and made him mess up.

“He did, he actually came to my girlfriend and asked for some advice, and since they were friends she decided to help him out. He cleaned himself up, and asked her on a date not even a day later. And the rest is history. She was head over heels for him” I said frowning slightly, I wouldn't forget the day Johnny came to my house begging for help. Val was so full of happiness to help him and see our friends happy together. What I wouldn't give to have her back.

“What about Zack, how did his wife and him meet?” Brian had set down his clipboard and cupped his hands together in his lap.

“He was actually hired to do some modeling a few years ago for a friend of ours, nothing too serious, and she was the model that he worked with that day. He of course thought she was stunning and offered to take her out for coffee, she agreed and they started dating about two weeks after that. He proposed after six months, thought he was absolutely crazy. But when you see them together you just know, he looks at her as if she is the only person in the world” My heart stuttered slightly as I grabbed my chest.

“From what I've heard, you have some really great friends Matt” Brian's eyes were full of compassion, I wondered what his life was like outside of this office. Did he have a good family and friends? Or did he become a therapist to help people like me?

“I do, they deserve way better than to have someone like me as a friend though. After all I've put them through” I said as I shook my head, they had their own lives to worry about. Hell Johnny's wife had their new baby to worry about.

“You shouldn't say that, they're going to worry about you because they care” Brian was right, I was just being an emotional idiot.

I glanced over at the clock and frowned, our time was almost up which meant I'd have to leave and go back to remembering that I'm a fuck up. Brian seemed to notice the shift in the air, his body stiffening slightly. It made me even more curious about him now, did he have someone else coming in that made him uncomfortable? As I opened my mouth to ask the question he stood up, gesturing that our time was up before he was standing at the door. I said a quick goodbye and set up another appointment with Natalie. Her body language was just as stiff and uncomfortable. So maybe I was right after all.

I left and headed on my way to Johnny's place, he had wanted to hang out and have a few drinks to talk about the new baby. I wasn't opposed to it, just the thought of seeing him and his wife happy together was enough to make my stomach turn. I should've lied and said I wasn't feeling well and headed home instead, less awkward that way. As I pulled into the driveway I sighed, Johnny was standing on his porch smoking. I remembered his wife smacking him with a sandal because he tried to smoke in the house, so now whenever he did smoke he had to do it outside. I stepped out of the car and walked up to his porch slowly, I hoped he wasn't going to ask about therapy. It wasn't something I was proud of.

“Hey short shit” I chuckled at the middle finger he gave me as he flicked his cigarette but into the ashtray.

“Come on, I don't want the neighbors staring anymore” Johnny walked inside quickly, I followed suit and shut the door.

Their house was perfect, the living room was right off the entrance, it was spacious where their son was able to crawl around and get exercise. But also large enough where they could fit a couch, loveseat, and a recliner comfortably. The kitchen was down a small hall off the right of the den that they converted into a dining room. I always made jokes that him and his wife didn't need the space since they were both so small. I never tried to wander around in their house though, didn't want to seem like I was snooping. His wife was humming softly as she cooked, how he managed to snag someone like her was beyond me. She was everything he wanted in a wife, same music taste, shorter than him, and she had spunk. She definitely didn't take his shit either, she spoke her mind when she needed to even if it would piss off Johnny.

“Matt! It's so good to see you sweetie” Krista, Johnny's wife turned with a bright smile and set down the spoon she was stirring the soup with.

“Hey, Johnny invited me over for some drinks” I walked over and hugged her tight. I had always wondered what would've happened if she hadn't of gone on that date with Johnny.

“He warned me beforehand, but don't be making a ruckus or being too loud this time please” She playfully patted my cheek and went back to fixing their dinner.

I could see Johnny standing in the doorway watching her, anyone with half a brain could see he was madly in love with her. He would do anything for her, and unfortunately I wasn't exaggerating. I chuckled and leaned against the counter and crossed my arms as Johnny slowly snuck up behind her before he wrapped his arms around her waist. She screamed and jumped before playfully smacking his arm with the wooden spoon she held. It hurt to watch them, to see how in love they were. To see everyone else happy but me.

“Why don't you and Matt go relax? Dinner will be done in a few” She kissed his cheek and held her hand on the small bump that was her belly. They must've waited until after her first trimester to tell everyone she was pregnant.

Johnny nodded his head and went down into the basement, I followed suit and sat down in one of the leather chairs. I always hated how squeaky they were when no one had sat in them for a while. Johnny crossed his arms over his chest and raised his eyebrow. I frowned and wiped my hands on my pants. I didn't want to do this with his wife upstairs.

“Johnny, I can't keep doing this” I looked up at him nervous, this was only going to cause problems in the end.

“You're the one with the addiction, do you know how often I've had to lie to Krista to cover for you?” Johnny glared, a scowl on his face.

“I've been trying to stop, it just feels like every time I see that therapist he brings up all my demons” I looked down at the small baggie and sighed. It was taunting me, calling my name as if it were trying to seduce me.

And in the end it always won, I would never be able to beat this, I would just crawl back like the pathetic person I was and cry to myself when I couldn't overcome anything. My therapist would never know this side of me. No one but Johnny knew the truth. And no one else was going to know this about me. I picked up the dollar bill and rolled it up, my palms sweating as I snorted a line without even flinching. I could hear Johnny hiss under his breath, he couldn't understand my infatuation anymore. Hell no one knew why I was the way I was. Why I defended my friends even when I knew they were wrong. Why I went to the bar and got blackout drunk and slept in the backseat of my car. Why I tried to kill myself instead of seeking help all that time ago. I snorted at least three more lines and sat back against the chair. The high taking over my body as I tried to relax, Johnny threw a rag at me and grimaced in disgust.

I didn't blame him though, if his wife were to ever find out why we spent so much time together she'd probably leave him. Even if it was all because of me, she couldn't have drugs around her children. I wiped beneath my nose and sighed at the blood. It had been happening more and more, which is why I stopped coming over as often. But when I heard the news of a new baby I just snapped, I didn't want to feel anything anymore.

“Should probably break out that bottle of whiskey so she doesn't get suspicious” I tucked the rag into my pocket and chuckled when Johnny rolled his eyes and stood up. He had kept all the alcohol locked up to prevent anything bad happening.

“She'll probably invite you to stay for dinner, if you want” Johnny kept his back to me as he poured two glasses, filling his more just slightly.

“I don't want to feel like I'm intruding” I took the glass as Johnny walked back over, sipping the dark liquid slowly.

“You're not, she's just excited about the baby and wants to talk as much as she can” Johnny swirled his glass, watching it intently.

“I'm not going to come over here to do it anymore, it's causing a strain on you. And that's the last thing either of you need right now” I set my glass down on the table and watched him. His eyebrows shot up as he looked at me.

“Matt, the only reason I allow you to do it at my house is because at least that way I can keep an eye on you, make sure you don't overdo it like you usually do” Johnny tightened his grip on the glass and glared at me again.

“I know, but this is clearly becoming too much, it needs to stop before things get out of hand” I would quit cold turkey if it gave him more peace of mind.

“Matt please, you're my best friend and you're talking like a mad man right now” Johnny stood up and paced the room, as if it would give him the answers he needed.

“I'm going to quit Johnny, this is doing everyone more harm than good right now” I stood up and watched him flinch slightly, was he scared of me?

He shook his head and looked over at me, but before either of us could say anything Krista had announced dinner was done. It was our cue that the conversation was over. Although there was definitely some unfinished business it would have to wait until later.

“I'm still hoping for a girl, we'll find out in a little over a month” Krista was excitingly telling me about their new baby, her hand never leaving her small belly.

“For your sake, I'll hope for a girl too” I smiled as Johnny retorted with a loud 'Hey!'.

“It's gonna be another boy, just you watch” Johnny stuffed his mouth with another forkful of food and smiled. That man could never be serious for more than five minutes.

“Well I'm sure Zack's wife will try for another baby, that way they can all grow up and be friends” I sipped my glass of water and thought about what Val and I's children would've looked like.

Would they have had her eyes or mine? Her slim and sleek nose or my more bulbous one? I shook the thought from my head and continued eating. The conversation flowed seamlessly as if there was no tension in the air. Either that, or no one noticed my wallowing. It wasn't about me tonight though, it was about my friends and that's what mattered. Maybe that's what I could talk about in therapy when I went back. Tell Brian all about how I played with their son, and him crawling all over me excitedly.

His little chubby cheeks pulling up into the most adorable smile. Or how we'd both fallen asleep on the couch cuddled together. Only for me to wake up in the middle of the night to a blanket on myself and the sounds of two people having sex. No I wouldn't bring that up. I'd bring up the positive things and hope he couldn't see me falling apart inside. I hope.

#gone to soon #bratt #love #angst #happiness #tragedy #death

1 note · View note