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fangirlshrieks · 3 years

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Spring Break part 3

a/n: 😁Thank you all for liking my story!!! I honestly didn't expect this many people to read it. 🥰 I originally wrote this because I was on spring break and now that my spring break is over here is the last part. This has really been fun for me and am glad so many of you enjoyed it. I really want to expand on this story (bc in my head it's a continuous story from y/n' years at hogwarts) but I don't know if I will have time with school. I really hope you all enjoy the last part.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Word count: 5,835

Pairings: Neville Longbottom x female reader

Warnings: smut!, fluff!, oral sex (male and female receiving), mentions of plant boy's insecurities, kind of dom!reader and sub!Neville at the end (idk I saw the opportunity and took it; plus that's my favorite trope), Neville loses his virginity, nonvirgin reader, awkward sex

You quickly turned off the shower, while Neville slid the glass door open so you could exit.

He grabbed a towel and handed it to you. He grabbed one for himself and tried to dry off as fast as possible. He didn't properly dry off as his hair was still damp and there were some streaks of water left on his body. You quickly brushed out your tangles and realized your hair might be really damp. You then dried your body. He waited until you were done, awkwardly standing by the entrance of the bathroom not knowing if he should cover himself or not. Then a wave of emotions hit him as he realized what was about to happen. He was aroused, scared, happy, embarrassed, and felt utterly in love for you. The look on his face clearly showed how overwhelmed he felt.

When you were finally done drying yourself you grabbed his hand to lead him to the bed. You eyed him up and down, lingering a little longer on his hardened dick. You felt yourself growing hot by the second. Then you noticed his heavy breathing and tense stance. Despite your urge to push him on the bed and have your way with him, you wanted to make sure that he was ok with this.

"Neville, are you sure about this?" You gave him a small smile that was tinted with understanding and concern.

"What are you talking about? Of course I do." He said a little shaky. "Do.. do you not want to do this?"

"Oh I absolutely want to do this. I've wanted to have sex with you for a long time." You admitted bashfully. "I just wanted to know if you're Ok with me taking your virginity." You loved Neville but you didn't want to rush him into anything he didn't want to do. After you decided to lose your virginity to your first boyfriend, you regretted it ever since. You had felt you gave it to the wrong person. It was only fair that you let Neville make his decision, even if it was not what you wanted. You lifted your hand to caress his cheek. "That's all."

At that moment he felt so much love and compassion for you. He felt so lucky to actually have someone who cared for his well being.

"You're the only person I would trust with it." And with that he leaned down for a kiss. That same passion that was felt in the shower was resumed. He rested his hands on your hips. He was still cold but every place that you touched him he slowly began to warm up. You slithered your hands around his waist, pulling his pelvis close to yours. He slowly moved his hands from your hips to your bum, grabbing desperately. The back of your knees hit the bed and you fell on your back, pulling him down with you.

You spread your knees apart intending to wrap your legs around him but your sudden movement caused him to stumble. He instead crushed your thigh with his knee to catch himself but he still fell. He landed on the bed right next to you with his left arm trapped under you.

"Achh!" You squeaked as he crushed your thigh. You moved his leg off your thigh and sat up quickly to release him from under you.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry." He panicked and scooted away from you.

You responded with a small laugh and moved closer to him. You looked at him with a crooked smile. "Neville I'm fine. It didn't hurt that much, I promise." You gave him a goofy smile and he eventually laughed along with you.

"I might not know what I am doing." He took this as a time to confess his inner worries.

"Nobody ever does their first time." You cupped his cheek with your hand. "But I'll help you."

You place your hands on top of his and soothed them. You brought them up to your lips and kissed each one of his knuckles. The sight in front of him made his cock twitch. When you were done, you leaned over for another hot and steamy kiss.

The two of you made your way to the headboard of the bed and pulled back the covers. Neville remembered about needing a condom and broke the kiss. He seemed embarrassed but you didn't know why.

"Is everything alright?" You placed your hands on his cheeks and rubbed your thumb gently on his bottom lip.

"I uh…" he swallowed loudly, and gave you a sappy smile. "Well I need to get something." He said as he made his way to the bedside dresser. He opened the drawer where he had left the condoms. Now sitting at the side of the bed he ripped open the small wrapper. Wondering what he was doing you peaked over his shoulder.

"You brought condoms on your trip to the lake?" You said teasingly resting your head on his shoulder and wrapping your arms around him. "So I wasn't the only one making plans?" You raised your eyebrow at him.

"I swear I wasn't planning this! Seamus and Dean gave them to me as a joke, but I never thought I would get to use them." His brows furrowed in worry, about how you would react to this, but was met with a surprising smirk.

"Well I think I will have to say thank you the next time I see them." You let out a small laugh. "Do you need help putting it on?"

"Yes please." He sheepishly said handing you the condom. His face was completely red as you moved in front of kneeling. Given your position you decided to wait on the condom. You placed it on the bedside dresser for later.

"What are you doing?" He looked at you confused and a little worried that you had put the condom down.

"I want to make you feel good without it first." You said rubbing your hands up and down his thighs making him shiver. "Is that ok?"

He squeaked out a small yes and you smiled up at him. You instructed him to move his legs more open by pushing his knees apart and he easily followed your command. You grabbed the base of his cock causing him to moan. You pumped slowly for a few seconds before dragging your tongue from the base to the tip, kissing the tip and slowly bringing it into your mouth. His moans got caught in the back of his throat and he made a high pitched noise that made you wet. Having the power of making those noises come out of him made you love him more. You made sure to keep your eyes on his face to take in his reactions. He was a shade of bright pink, his mouth gaped open, eyes shut, and sounds that may have been moans coming out of his mouth. His chest lifting up and down as his breathing quickened. You thought he looked absolutely beautiful. There was a familiar feeling in your lower belly and you could feel yourself dripping. You desperately wanted to have your way with him but you wanted to make his first time special and play with him as much as you could before getting to the good stuff.

He was propping himself up with his hands gripping the sheets so hard his knuckles turned white. The way you rolled your tongue around the tip of his cock and pumped the rest was too much for him. With the way you were working him he thought he was about to bust soon. Your other hand made its way to fondle his balls. He let out a mewl and whined when you squeezed them a little. The sensation made his left arm give out. He was now on his back letting his head fall back and out of sight. You stopped immediately.

"Neville, baby, I want to see your face." Your seductive tone surprised him. He looked back at you embarrassed but he did as you asked. He supported himself on his elbows and tried to keep his face towards you.

"There there" you cooed, rubbing circles on the insides of his thighs. His legs were shaking uncontrollably and his cock spasmed on his stomach.

Uhh, It truly was a sight for sore eyes.

You continue working on him. Taking him in your mouth again, you hollowed your cheeks and went a bit faster than before. You moaned and the vibrations sent him over the edge. It wasn't long before you felt his thighs flex as he began to reach his climax. He shut his eyes tightly as a cry of relief came out of his mouth and he came without warning. You swallowed all of him enjoying the feeling of his cum running down your throat.

Barely comprehending what had just happened his eyes shot open and he looked down at you in the place between his legs.

"I'm sorry I should have said something." He wondered if you even enjoyed swallowing his cum and a bit embarrassed about cumming so quickly and in your mouth.

"It's Ok, I liked it." You said wiping off a bit of seamen from your lower lip. It was enough to get him hard again despite his recent orgasm.

You got up and climbed in bed with him. You weren't done just yet. You rested your back on the pillows and he sat up sitting on the edge of the bed. You motioned with your finger for him to come towards you. He eagerly obeyed sitting on his knees right in front of you. You pulled him in for a passionate kiss spreading your legs so he could be closer to you. You teasingly bit down on his bottom lip and he sighed with content. You traced your tongue across his lips and he slowly opened his mouth for you. His mouth was warm and his tongue ran across your teeth. You moaned as your tongues danced with one another. You ran your hands in his hair and down his chest. You could feel his heart beating just as fast as yours. He didn't know where to place his hands and he hesitantly decided to place them on your hips. You were not satisfied with his hand placement and slowly led them to cup both your breasts.

The feeling of his hands on your soft tissue made you gasp into the kiss. His blush was now spread from his face all the way to his shoulders. He messaged them gently as he had in the shower and squeezed them. His thumbs passed your nipples sending an electric sensation straight to your core. The bud was now hard. The kiss became more sloppy and you moved to kiss along his jaw. You sucked lightly at the skin, careful to not leave any evidence for his grandmother to see. You came across a sensitive spot and he mewled into your ear. You slithered your hand between the two of you and grabbed his dick.

Neville was caught off guard by your actions and almost collapsed on top of you. His hands froze in a groping position around your breasts as he tried to compose himself as your thumb went over his tip. He tried to continue fondling your boobs as much as possible without getting distracted by the slow pace of your hand. He wanted to please you as you were pleasing him. He lightly rolled your nipples between his fingers and you let out a whine.

You kissed along his jaw, making your way to his ear. You sucked on his earlobe for a bit before dragging your tongue on the shell of his ear making him shiver.

"I want you to use your mouth." You whispered.

You could feel his erection twitch in your hand as you spoke. He responded in a sort of whimper as you let go of his cock. Also because it was as if you had read his mind finally gave him permission to live out his fantasy of sucking on your tits like a baby. He had never felt so turned on in his life. He was absolutely ecstatic that you were telling him what to do and taking control of the situation. He honestly wouldn't know what to do with himself if you weren't telling him what to do. He secretly hoped it would be this way in the future.

He trailed hot, wet, kisses along your neck, down to your collarbone, and finally to your breast. He naturally brought his mouth over your nipple and sucked gently while kneading your other breast with his free hand.

"Uhh Nev…" you sighed while arching your back.

Your sigh of content encouraged him even more. He bit your nipple gently testing to see how you would react.

"Fuck… Neville" You breathed.

Your words were pushing him towards the edge again. He kissed his way to your previously ignored breast and sucked at the nipple. He loved how soft they were to the touch.

Your hands ran through his hair and you pulled desperately at his brown curls. Your moans now filled the room. You felt yourself become more and more desperate for him to fill you. Pulling him completely away from your breast you sat up. He looked at you as if he had done something wrong.

"Di… did you not?" He didn't ask a complete question but you understood his meaning.

"Oh no, I definitely enjoyed it." Reassuring him. "I just thought now would be a good time to put on that condom." You said giving him a cheeky grin, looking at his cock which was standing proud in between the two of you.

He squirmed under your gaze laughing nervously and looked down as he tried to avoid eye contact. You gave him a quick peck on the cheek before you leaned over to the side of the bed and reached for the condom that you had left on the stand and returned to your previous position.

"Are you ready?" You said with a smirk on your face. Neville nodded a yes and with that you grabbed his cock stroking it up and down to get him a bit harder.

The feeling of your hands around him again was too much for him so he rested his head on your shoulder moaning your name and placed his hands on your hips for support. His lips moved to your neck sucking the skin lightly.

You let go of his cock making him whine at the loss of contact. You gave your attention to the little rubber thing that was to protect you from getting pregnant. You pinched the top allowing room for his seaman, placed it over his tip and rolled the condom on him. Once you were all done you kissed his forehead.

"It's on." You whispered in his ear.

"Ok…. Ok…" his whispered back. His breathing became more erratic and his hands seemed to shake more. You laid down fully on your back and smiled up at him.

He moved back a bit so he could finally see in between your legs. The sight made him beam with love, feeling special that you were showing him your most private parts. Neville's eyes grew dark and needing as he saw just how wet you were for him. However, he was not familiar with the female anatomy and all its workings. It was not as if Hogwarts had any health classes and his grandmother certainly never told him about the birds and the bees. What he knew about the female sex, he learned from his friends and the playboys that Dean and Seamus somehow managed to get their hands on in the muggle world bringing them with them to Hogwarts to show off. Plus this was the 90s and owning a television was not common in the wizarding world nor had websites for porn had been invented yet.

He rubbed up and down your thighs, making you shiver. He then leaned over you supporting himself on his elbows. He pushed forward slowly hoping to get lucky and his tip accidentally rubbed against your clit making you gasp. Confusion was written all over his face making him burn with embarrassment.

"Uhh…" he gave you a nervous laugh. "Where do I put it in?"

"Oh right" you felt your cheeks heat up at his question. You both sat up.

"Ok let me see" you said.

You grabbed his hips and tried to align them correctly but his movements were stiff.

"Wait where do you want me to be?" He asked in a giggly voice.

"I need you to move down a bit." Your own nervous laugh escaped your lips.

He did as you asked. His cock now hovered over your entrance. You grabbed it, causing him to squirm a bit from your touch. You tried to align his cock with your leaking pussy but you were too far apart.

"Come a little closer." You command.

You both were focused on looking down at your positioning neither of you noticed how close your heads were and as he moved closer to you, your foreheads bumped together.

"Owe!"

"Ahh"

The incident made your both roar with laughter. He rubbed your forehead and immediately apologized.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry. Are you ok?"

You responded in more laughter. "Yes I'm fine."

"I told you I don't know what I'm doing." He chuckled.

"This isn't working." You were talking about the position but he misunderstood, thinking you had lost interest in him.

"Oh…" he sounded hurt. "I'm sorry." His voice was barely even a whisper and his eyebrows furrowed again. He scooted further back from you. You instantly cupped his head and made him look at you.

"Oh no. I… I meant the position." You kissed both of his cheeks to comfort him. "You're doing amazing right now. Just absolutely brilliant."

"Are you sure? You know you can tell me the truth, right?" He searched your face for any hints to see if you wanted to stop. He placed his hands over yours and rubbed his thumbs against your knuckles.

"I'm sure." You said leaning in for a kiss.

You both smiled into the kiss. When you broke the kiss you looked into his doe eyes. You shared a laugh together before you spoke up.

"Let’s switch positions." You suggest.

"Ok." He quickly got up and rested his back against the headboard.

"I think you should lay down this time." You said biting your lips.

He smiled nervously as he slid down resting his head on the pillows. He felt a bit vulnerable with his dick springing up on his stomach having you stare so keenly. But he enjoyed it all too much.

On the other hand, having him sprawled out on the bed just for you, had awakened something in you. A rush of power flowed through your veins as you watched his beautiful body. His chest went up and down erratically as you moved to straddle his legs. Your hands moved up his thigh and you stroked his cock just to see him squirm. Then you moved forward and lifted yourself on your knees just above his throbbing dick and aligning it with your slick pussy.

He intently watched you as you easily slid yourself on to him. He made a choking noise and gripped tightly on your hips as you slid further down.

"Ah… ohhh…. y/n" was all that came out of his mouth. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he leaned his head further into the pillow.

The immense pleasure that took over his body was enough to make him cum right then and there but he waited, wanting to take in the feeling of you around him. The feeling of your walls stretching for him was enough for him to be content for a lifetime.

"Oh Nev…" you moaned at the feeling of him filling you. You sat still for a moment getting used to the feeling of him. He was bigger than you were used to but it made it all the more arousing. Once you were adjusted you rock your hips in a circle, just to get him started.

A whine escaped his lips as you teased him with your slow movements and he looked up at you with pleading eyes. You leaned down to give him a quick peck on the lips and started to bounce. The sound of the raindrops tapping against the windows hardly drowned out Neville's and your moans.

"Oooohh fuck…Y/N" Neville said a little breathy. His eyebrows scrunched together and his mouth was agape as you moved faster. He couldn't help but buck up into you. A familiar feeling bubbled inside him as he reached closer to his climax. A few seconds later Neville jerked violently and cried out your name, arching his back to be further in you.

You found the face he made as he came adorable and just so intoxicating. You hoped that you would be seeing more of that expression in your future. You bounced on his cock to help him fall from his high. It took less than a minute to make Neville cum. You were honestly proud of yourself that you were able to make your boyfriend cum in less than a minute, twice.

Once he calmed down you kept yourself on him and leaned down to rest on his chest. He looked up at you with a dazed expression. His face and chest were a shade of pink. You loved that shade on him.

"I love you." He breathed. His eyes were half closed and he gave you a crooked smile.

"I'm your forever." You whispered back to him. There was a moment when you just admired his facial features. You watch as his breathing slowed and he relaxed. The rain had gotten more harsh outside and there was a clap of thunder. It was very hypnotic and made him sleepy. You noticed his brow furrow as he regained awareness of his surroundings.

"Did you finish?" He asked, a little embarrassed. He already knew the answer but asked anyway.

You shook your head. "No, it usually takes a little more than just penetration. Well, at least until you can last long enough for me to finish." You teased.

He covered his face and groaned with embarrassment. You giggled at his reaction and went to grab his hands and pull them away from his gorgeous face. You placed them so they lay flat on his chest and peaked his lips. "I take that as a compliment by the way." You reassure him.

"Then can you teach me how to make you finish?" He shrunk himself into the pillow to hide himself. You found his bashfulness cute. You wiggled your hips in excitement which caused him to groan.

"I thought you'd never ask." You sat up and got off of him.

He mewled the loss of feeling you around him. He sat up as well and took the condom off and threw it in the little trash can by his bed. He returned to give you a kiss on the lips. You pulled him on top of you, wrapped your legs around his waist, and laid down. You pulled away from the kiss and cupped his face with your hands.

"I need you to move down for me." Your seductive tone returned again making his mouth start to water.

You held onto his hair, guiding him down your body until he was face to face with your vagina. He swallowed hard and released a breath he didn't know he was holding. You spread your legs wider showing him how wet you had become from him. Neville honestly loved the view he had of you from where he was. He rubbed his hands on the insides of your thighs making you sigh with pleasure. He still had no idea how or where to please you.

"Can you show me where?" He looked up at you with a shy smile.

"Of course" you whispered back to him. You sat up and grabbed one of his hands that were on your thigh. His hand was shaking the closer you pulled it towards your entrance.

"This is where I just had your dick in me." You smiled devilishly at his facing turning a shade brighter. His hand quivered hovering over the area.

"And this is what you have to play with." You said placing his index finger right on your clit. You tilted your head back and released a moan from your mouth. You had been longing for some kind of stimulation and release. You let go of his hand but he kept his finger right on your clit, gently going over it with his finger. His bottom lip quivered as he brushed his fingers over your labia. He seemed to be memorizing the shape and took a mental picture. He felt the urge to kiss your inner lips and explore the area with his tongue. He gulped one more time to clear his throat.

"Can I kiss you here?" He asked, avoiding eye contact.

You don't know what came over you but you wanted him to ask you again, this time you wanted him to look you in the eyes. You grabbed his jaw and forced him to look up at you. He looked confused and worried that he did something wrong and had upset you. You rubbed your thumb over his top lip and dragged it down to his bottom lip. You rubbed your thumb across his bottom lip and pushed it down so his mouth was now open. You stuck your thumb in his mouth and gently placed it on the top of his wet, hot, tongue. His heart raced in his chest and his dick twitch at the way you completely had a hold of him.

"You want to eat my pussy and make me feel good?" You cooed.

He didn't know where all of this was coming from or why you had stepped into this role but he was all for it. He was more than happy to let you take control any day. It made him relax knowing that you pulled the reins . It was less stressful for him to just follow orders than to come up with what to do next.

Neville nodded a yes but that wasn't good enough for you.

"Say it." You said in a stern and low tone.

"Huh?" Your thumb was still in his mouth and he didn't know how he would speak. He assumed you would take your thumb out but you didn't. Drool began to fall from the sides of his mouth and color spread all over his face.

"Say it and look me in the eyes." You repeated. Your tone was harsher than before.

A shiver ran down his spine as he painfully made eye contact with you. "I… wont tu... eat you... poohy an make… you feel goo…" With his tongue restricted by your thumb his words were barely recognizable. There was a puddle of drool on the sheets under his chin. He looked terribly embarrassed but the moving of his hips on the bed told you otherwise. He spoke one last word. "Please?" He asked.

"Of course my love." You replied in the same cold tone. You took your thumb out of his mouth and pushed his head slowly towards your vagina.

Neville's eyes widened as his mouth made contact with your inner lips. Your moans filled the room as Neville began licking from your entrance to your clit. The silva that had gathered in his mouth from before helped as a lubricant and made you even more slick. He continued lapping large strokes across your entrance. His hands wrapped under you pushing you closer to him. The feeling shocked you to your core. You laid yourself on your back again and gripped his curly brown hair. You pushed his face closer to your clit to grind yourself on him. Neville began sticking his tongue in you as far as he could. Sticking it in and out and in and out.

"Fuck Nev…" you moaned his name.

Hearing you call his name caused him to groan. He not so discreetly started humping the bed sheets chasing his third orgasm of the night. He slithered his right hand towards your entrance again and replaced his tongue with his middle finger. His tongue moved towards your clit. The feeling of you squeezing around him overwhelmed him. The idea of being between your legs forever sent him into overdrive and he humped the sheets faster until he came. He moaned around your clit causing your legs to shake. His whole body shook, including his hand which curled as it twitched.

"Nev…" you called as his finger hit that sensitive stop inside you. "Fuck… curl… curl your finger right there." You instructed.

He did as you said and caused an electric sensation throughout your body. He kept hitting that same spot over and over again with his finger. His tongue continued to lap circles around your clit, sending a shiver down your spine. You instinctively wrapped your legs around his head, trapping him between your legs. Your thighs squeezed his cheeks together making it difficult for him to continue licking you, so he settled on sucking your sensitive bud. You grinded on his face even harder and tightened your grip on his hair. He hummed around your clit and the vibrations sent a warm, fuzzy, and familiar feeling in your lower belly. You looked down at Neville, whose eyes were half closed from his recent high. He slobbered all over you as his mouth continued to salivate from the way you tasted. His finger was still inside you, but you want to feel more of him.

"Nev… put… put another finger…." You were breathless at this point from trying to chase your orgasm. He slid his index finger in you stretching you more. You arched your back at the sensation. His movements had become slower in almost a teasing way. You were not sure if he did this on purpose or not, but whatever the reason you needed him to go faster.

"Fuck Nev… faster" your cried.

He responded by fucking his fingers in you at a rapid pace. He also tried sticking his tongue in with his fingers. He fucked his tongue and fingers in you desperate to hear you cry out his name again. You thought you heard him whimper your name slightly as he took his tongue out of you. He came back to suck on your clit harder than before. Your thighs shook around his head and your breathing became erratic. You grind yourself up against his face and pulled on his hair causing him to moan your name. That was enough to push you over the edge. You felt your whole body tremble as you came.

"Oh Nev… " you screamed. You arched you back as you came all over his fingers.

He took his fingers out of you and sucked your cum off of them. When he was done he returned to clean you of your juices with his tongue.

"Oh god, Neville" You breathed.

Neville stopped, tilted his head to the side, and rested his head on you. His breathing was hitched as you still had your legs wrapped around him. He didn't mind preferring to have your legs around him than not having your legs around him. He kissed your thigh lovingly.

You brushed your fingers through his soft hair and noticed how tired he was from cumming so many times. You released him from your grip and spread your legs. He stayed in the place between your legs. You looked down at him and smiled to yourself.

"Did you cum?" You asked teasingly.

He nodded his head. "Yeah" he breathed. "You're just so hot." He looked up at you with hooded eyes and a crooked smile. He seemed much more relaxed than he ever had before. You stroked his cheek lovingly.

"Come here." You said.

He started to crawl further up. He brought the covers over the two of you and rested his head on your chest wrapping his arms around you, gently placing his hips back down on the sheets. He let out a cry from how sensitive his nether regions had become. You thought you heard him make a quiet hissing noise as he shifted above you. During his private maturation sessions, he usually only ever came once. Now having came 3 times in a short amount of time made him tender.

"Shh… It will be alright." You scratched the back of his head with one hand and traced your nails on his back with the other. The sound of your heart beat was like a lullaby to his ears as he snuggled close to you and he became more drowsy.

"I love you." You whispered to him.

"I love you." He repeated back to you in a sleepy voice.

The room fell quiet and all that could be heard was the tapping sounds of rain drops from outside. Then you remember your clothes that you had left out on the porch. You also looked at the bedsheets that were a little messy from all the cum and sweat that had gotten on them from your activities with Neville. You would need to wash them.

"Hey Nev."

"Yeah." He said heavy-eyed.

"I think we better get our clothes from outside and change before your grandmother gets back don't you think."

He lifted his head and looked at the clock on his bedside dresser. It was about 3:20 pm. He groaned as he buried his head back into your breasts.

"It's barely three o'clock. Can we just stay like this for a couple hours. Gran said she wouldn't be home until eight." He hugged you tighter, not letting you escape from under him. You laughed at his childish tone and stroked his hair.

"Ok. Maybe one hour. Then we have to clean up so they don't suspect anything." You secretly hoped it would last longer. You loved the feeling of having skin to skin contact with Neville.

"One hour. " He yawned, shutting his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

You were not so tired so you just watched him sleep. He truly was beautiful. You felt a fuzzy feeling in your heart grow and you imagined what a future with him would be like. You smiled to yourself at the image you created in your head. Picnics on Sunday afternoons, a garden full of all his favorite plants, and a cozy little cottage the two of you would share in the countryside. You listened to his soft breathing as he slept and kissed his forehead.

"Sleep tight."

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ghostly-shenanigans-in-progress · 3 years

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BNHA X DP Crossover HCs

After the long wait and finals, here are my ideas for all the quirks/occupations and other concepts I devised for the DP characters in the BNHA universe. This was just for fun and for inspiration towards others interested in this crossover au in general.

Tagging the people that were looking forward to this post based on the replies: @qoinq-qhost, @floralflowerpower, @tgfangirl4eva @goodfish-bowl, @whitehairglowinggreeneyedcrush and more.

Anyways, happy reading, folks!

Mr. Lancer

Hero name: Mr. Scholastic

Quirk: Bookworm

Involves his iconic usage of literature titles & quotes for swears to become abilities corresponding to the novel’s contents/themes. Course, he is limited to only books he has read and can quote accurately. Additionally, his voice gets very raspy past two or three quotes as well.

Occupation: Homeroom Teacher for Class 1- A; He’s very dedicated to his new students and teaching the fundamentals of being a pro hero and more! Course, I don’t think his chamomile tea with a wedge of lemon is enough to help him relax from his students (*cough* Danny, Tucker and Poindexter) from their antics at times.

Danny

Hero name: Phantom

Quirk: Ghost core (Ok, @coffeecakecafe had the best name for this one gotta give credit here)

Able to do anything a ghost is perceived to do. Go through walls, disappear and fly. This is a one of a kind quirk as it was obtained from Danny’s old quirk being altered by a machine his parents made that would repurpose/alter an individual’s quirk based on their past family members' own metahuman genetics.

Danny is doing his best and trying to understand his new quirk without causing too much attention to himself while doing so but it seems like its been doing the opposite as of late. Thankfully, he won’t be doing it alone with all his classmates around to help him!

Sam

Hero Name: Black Dahlia

Quirk: Overgrown

Able to create any plant that she knows the biological makeup and content of in almost any environment. However, it is important for her to drink lots of nutrient rich water and take in enough sun if she plans to create larger versions of these plants.

Tucker

Hero name: Tech Master

Quirk: Tech Core

Located on his chest/heart area is a special energy core capable of powering electronics at a rate faster than anything made-man could ever hope to achieve. As a kid, Tucker would tinker away in his family’s garage on a suit that would harness his power to the fullest extent and lead a new era of support tech in the hero world.

Valerie

Hero name: Red Huntress

Quirk: Electromagnetism (Someone I’ve been trying to find their post on my blog had posted this idea and I fell in love with it ever since)

She’s like Static Shock but with a dash of magenta/ruby lasers she can create through focusing her electromagnetism through her finger tips. She is an expert with her quirk and has the best handle of her quirk than most of her peers. She is the most frequent visitor in the support equipment workshop next to Tucker, Poindexter and Danny. It’s how she built the hoverboard she has in the show that utilizes her electromagnetic abilities for both offensive and defensive maneuvers. (Also, I enjoy the idea that Bullet is Val’s uncle on her mom’s side and is her biggest supporter alongside her dad, Damien Gray).

Jazz

Quirk: Serenity

Helps calm individuals and give them a sense of safety/security when they’re around her in a 10 feet radius. Though, anyone out of range cannot be affected by her quirk and she needs to be conscious in order to use it.

She planned on becoming a pro hero but felt her powers were best suited for her dream profession as a psychologist. She has used her quirk a lot when Danny was overwhelmed with his studies prior to UA. Course, a phone call and sibling chat over the phone certainly does the job for Danny now when it comes to preparing material for exams. (Course, its up to you guys to decide)

Dash

Hero name: Rager

Quirk: Strength Magnification

Improves his physique and stamina by a large percentage for a set amount of time. Needs to be careful of how much/long he magnifies his body or else his body will become immensely sore.

Kwan

Hero name: Rallier

Quirk: Team Rally (50/50)

Able to duplicate himself 3-4 times while being able to power-up allies’ quirks or stamina with a rally chant to help the team. The more duplicates there are the rally effect multiplies/stacks on the individual but it can lead to dangerous outcomes for their quirk output.

Kwan is the class representative for 1-A, he’s the best at the job and was more than thrilled to be the one leading his class in more ways than one.

Paulina

Hero name: Enchantress

Quirk: Charm

If the opponent is flustered by her taunts or flirting, their vision will become altered and start seeing things that are not there. It works better on men than women and the opponent can snap out of it with enough willpower or if they’re not interested in her.

Star

Hero name: Ms. Meteorite

Quirk: Comet

Similar to Gran Torino’s Jet quirk except faster and she can create an explosive impact on where she lands. Similar to a meteorite landing on earth, she also learns to use this as a long distance move by punching fast enough as she descends to create wind pressure punches.

Poindexter

Hero name: Tex (like in Tex Avery; Danny gave him the idea!)

Quirk: Slapstick

His appearance is black and white just like an old timey cartoon character as well as having the durability and cartoon powers of one. However, his quirk can only work as long as what he does with it is funny in the circumstance it’s used for. Sort of like “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” rules in a sense.

Sidney is part of Class 1-A just saying, I don’t care, this is Poindexter’s time to shine here to be the coolest/funniest person in the class. Also, Tucker’s most loyal friend/tester for new support items.

Wes Weston

Hero name: Vigilance

Quirk: Deduction

He is able to deduct people’s identities to flaws/weak points for him to use against them and exploit against problems.

Class 1-B Representative and the most annoying/terrifying person that Danny has dealt with in his life. He was able to figure out that Danny’s quirk is not his own or more so that it's not natural and takes every opportunity to state this regardless if anyone is listening or not.

Amber Mclain

Hero Name: Ember

Quirk: Fiery voice (50/50)

Her quirk uses the vibrations in her sining voice to conduct intense heat waves onto opponents or utilize to rumble the structures around here and even put out the flames from her quirk. Its like a combination of Present Mic and Endevours quirk but it leaves her with a strained or inflamed vocal cords with overuse.

Third year student or an upcoming rock star that has certainly gain huge popularity after her song “Remember” was a nationwide hit amongst the younger generation. She’s striving to be the top hero while making her next hit to become the 1# song on the listings.

Dani

Hero name: Phantwo (lol jk; unsure what her name would be)

Quirk: Poltergeist

Similar to Danny’s quirk “Ghost”, except she has the additional ability to melt herself to a slimy puddle and use her ectoplasmic slime to trap or surprise opponents.

Clockwork

Hero Name: Clockwork

Quirk: Time Keeper

Clockwork’s quirk allows him to stop time for 5 to 15 minutes and be able to rewind it in the same amount of time. It can be one to multiple objects as long as he touches them in order to interact with them.

Principle of UA in this au. He’s quite a reserved man but still manages to visit and congregate with students throughout the school during lunch period.

Flynn Fenton/Flynn Walker

Hero Name: The Green Knight

Quirk: Mineralization

His quirk allows him to manipulate the minerals and inorganic materials in the atmosphere to create into crystalized constructs that are almost stronger than diamond. Luckily, the crystals have no value so he doesn’t have to worry about that aspect of his quirk. He does have to worry about his skin becoming dried out as a result of his quirk usage.

Flynn is a third year student that loves to check up on his cousin, Danny, any chance he gets bc of the amount of work he does with his internships.

James Walker (or James W. Hausermann)

Hero name: Warden Wraith

Quirk: Plasma Apparatus

His quirk ionizes the electrolytes in the blood system into plasma. His entire body is composed of plasma giving him his skeletal appearance. He can create plasma chains, teleport from point A to B and more as long as he focuses and has enough energy at use. Course, he can have minor to severe dehydration and imbalance in his electrolyte levels from overuse.

Occupation: CEO of an infrastructure security company/Provisional License Examiner just like Gang Orca.The ghost prison guards become his backup/helpers for the exam phases. (They’re just trained stuntmen with combat or military experience for the occasion).

Also, I like to think Walker has kids in this au who are in the Class 1-A group; they’re not hard to spot they take after their father with their skeletal complexion.

Skulker

Villain name: Quirk Hunter

Quirk: Tracker

The moment Skulker makes eye contact with his target he will be able to hunt them down and find them anywhere no matter how good they are at covering their tracks. He can lock on to only one target, but he will be able to know their heart beat, quirk, be able to place a tracking/scent line that only he can see and will lead him to his target’s location. It lasts for over a day or a half.

Occupation: Skulker is known for capturing, info-detailing or “retiring” newcomer pros or specific quirk users for his clients that pay him handsomely for their targets, dead or alive. Thanks to Vlad, Danny was strictly intended to be captured alive by Skulker but sometimes he gets too thrilled by the hunt to not have a memento. Trust me, it's more of a dangerous

Nicolai Technus

Villain Name: Technus

Quirk: Technopathy

A genius in his own right, even if he’s a little crazy, with the best ability possible for a man of science and innovation. As long as he knows the makeup and attributes of the machine, Technus is able to completely repurpose or change a machine’s qualities for offensive and defensive qualities. Whenever that be for a mech suit or hacking a high tech system for entry, he’s able to do it as long as he knows what it is and how it functions. An example is repurposing a slot machine into a submachine gun that shoots coins at the target.

Vlad Masters

Name: Vlad Plasmius

Quirk: Vampire

Can do anything a vampire can supposedly do. However, he was able to manifest an additional aspect of this quirk which is the ability to copy any quirk users ability. Based on the type of blood he ingests decides the amount of time he can use the copied quirk for.

Occupation: CEO of his own hero firm, he is extremely selective with the interns he has that there is a major waitlist to be even consider for Masters Inc. Course, imagine the surprise Danny must of felt when he received an offer from Vlad right off the bat after the Sports festival.

Bruce Guiles (Bullet)

Hero Name: Bullet

Quirk: Sphyraena or Chimera Fish

Able to do anything a barracuda can do or the quirk is a 50/50 mutant quirk in which he has both the traits of a barracuda, Chimaeras and a touch of piranha from his parents being of one of these fish species hence Chimera. Bullet can do anything those fish can do overall but he can’t go too long without hydration from water. Water quality and its oxygen content also affect his abilities by a noticeable percentage but he still remains quite formidable as a quirk user.

Occupation: Captain of a coast guard team, he’s a strict military man with an amazing record of saving people from any disasters both on land and sea. Him and Walker are best buddies ever since they went to school together.

Vortex

Hero Name: Vortex

Quirk: Storm Warning

Vortex can utilize any variation of a natural disaster depending on the environment he’s in. Hurricanes, tornadoes, thunderstorms, you name it he can create it for his use. However, despite his amazing control over his quirk it is still possible for him to create these disasters if he lost control or magnify another pre-existing one if he loses focus.

Occupation: Storm-chaser/Forecaster; His control and knowledge in combating/predicting these natural disasters has led to him to be part of a storm chasing crew and they’re the best in helping disaster prevention teams evacuate citizens as a result.

Petra Eris

Hero name: Pandora

Quirk: Butterfly Effect

Can manipulate or prevent a chaotic event to happen if she was in proximity and present to prevent it to happen. Or even give a little chaos to the opponent to deal with during battle.

One of the top ten heroes and most beloved heroes in the country. She is the best strategist in any team and has a way to predict any event before they happen given the necessity of it for her quirk to work in her favor.

Johnny

Vigilante name: Johnny 13

Quirk: Unlucky

Johnny manifests his bad luck into a shadow that will latch onto opponents and cause unfortunate events to occur more for that individual as a result. However, the shadow cannot exist in complete sunlight; it can only remain if there are already shadows in his general area or it’s nighttime and its effects are strongest at that time obviously.

Occupation: Johnny is the leader of a biker gang or de-facto leader of said biker gang who loves to raise hell and helping folks that need saving whenever he’s around or is up to the task. Kitty tags along with him to help him out of jams and bc she loves him. :3

Kitty

Vigilante name: Kitty

Quirk: Lovesick

Kitty sends a smooch towards her opponent which if it makes contact causes the individual to have nausea or become disoriented for around 10 minutes. It can also have a chance of lasting longer if the individual was sort of infatuated with her regardless of gender.

Pariah Dark

Villain name: King Pariah

Quirk: Ultimate Adaptation

Similar to all for one except with the unpredictability for both the user and opponents. Pariah can manifest any type of quirk needed to defeat anyone that stands in his way both one-on-one and in groups. Course, drawbacks are the learning curve to some of the quirks and that multiple adaptions he utilizes at once will destroy his cells in the process.

Pariah is a former follower of all for one who had unique quirk that All for one augmented to help him succeed if both Shigaraki and Tomura failed in their own conquest for the world. But now Pariah has his own plans to succeed where they failed and become the leader who shapes a new world order with an iron fist.

Frederick Kingsmen

Villain/vigilante name: Fright Knight

Quirk: Burning Energy Infusion

Able to form/infuse objects with his own burning energy life force that is capable of burning or slicing through any in his sight. The sweat he gives off is what provides the material needed to ignite his unnatural flames despite it causing his body to overheat still.

Fright Knight is Pariah’s second-in-command with a loyalty to him as strong as his control over his power. Fright Knight has faced many pro-heros as he carried out the smaller phases of Pariah’s plans and most of them barely came close towards defeating or leaving as much as scratch on the knight.

Rodolfo Gonzalo

Hero name: Wulf

Quirk: Werewolf + Portal creation (50/50?)

Can do anything a werewolf can supposedly do; somehow it allows him to create portals with his claws to locations he has marked with them or visited in the past.

Wulf was abducted on by Pariah’s forces and sent into the Nomu labs for experimentation to force on another quirk and instill complete allegiance to their cause. Course, Wulf broke free as a result of that new additional quirk allowing him to escape their clutches and his previous one helping him survive the endeavor. However, he lost his memories in the process and could only remember his native language, Spanish, and his hero name Wulf.

Overgrown

Villain/vigilante Name: Overgrown

Quirk: Plant Manipulation

Can manipulate any pre-existing plant matter or create new vegetation if water and soil is present for the process or he understand the biological makeup of the plant in question.

Occupation: Pro-hero or eco-terrorist who is tired of humanity from abusing the environment from quirk battles to industries using the land for their own benefits and none others.

That’s all I have for now! I hope this was worth the wait, guys. As well as, inspire ideas for your takes with a DP x BNHA Crossover!

#danny phantom #DP x BHA crossover #dp x bha au #dp x bnha #phandom #danny fenton #sam manson #tucker foley #paulina sanchez #dp ember mclain #dp walker #dp bullet #dp kwan #dp mr. lancer #dp dash baxter #dp crossover #dp aus

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olivinesea · 3 years

Text

In the Golden Dark

a/n: Having never done any ship writing before I’m just going to jump feet first into the deep end with a little Hotchreid for you today. It’s nice. No warnings except maybe some angst because we are who we are. Probably the softest thing you will see from me so enjoy the moment. Completely unnecessary disclaimer that I would find this relationship wildly inappropriate in real life but thank god we’re out here in the lawless fiction of the internet. And you’re getting full on song lyrics bc Hotchreid is nothing if not decadent af. There’s more but I’m impatient so here’s the first bit. ~ 2.7k

what the hell am I doing here in the golden dark? feeling like I’m someone else who looks the part I built up barricades to block my heart cause I don’t wanna fear you

He leaned back in his chair, reaching his arms up and clasping his hands behind his head, arching his back slightly. With his eyes closed it could be any time of day. He inhaled deeply and pretended for a moment that he was nowhere. He even gave himself a few extra seconds, indulging in the quiet that was the office at night. If only he could feel so peaceful in the right moments—before sleeping perhaps. When he opened his eyes all he could see was the reflection of his office light in the black windows. There hadn’t been daylight for hours. He’d switched off the overhead lights in favor of the small desk lamp that pooled the light only in the area of immediate relevance. Everything beyond its reach faded in and out of existence as his focus fell deeply into the forms in front of him.

He pressed his elbows back as far as they would go, pulling up slightly on the base of his skull, stretching out a day’s worth of stress, countless hours spent bent over report after report. He never could have imagined that saving people would require so much paperwork. Reducing the chaos of the lived experience, the searches and the takedowns, the intricate patterns of dozens of personalities layering choices upon one another; it turned out to be quite difficult to do. It took him hours to wrap up cases, even with everyone doing most of their own reports. Which, through no fault of their own, wasn’t always the case. He usually ended up siphoning off a fair number of those reports in addition to his own.

He didn’t mind, he needed to go over everything, needed to make sure that any possible negative feedback that came back would fall to him and he would be prepared if it did. His team were his responsibility, he would be neglecting his duties if he didn’t ensure that things were handled properly. None of them needed the headache of administrative errors. He was good with details, good with forms, good with protocol. He would happily be the filter that saved them all the trouble of little errors even if it hadn’t been part of his job.

But that didn’t change the fact that it was eleven o’clock on a Wednesday and everyone else had gone home hours ago. Only the late night janitorial staff wandered in and out occasionally, nodding at him in silent greeting as they reset the offices to give the illusion of an endlessly renewable supply of fresh starts. People that didn’t stay late never gave this transformation a second thought. They left the office with full trashcans and small debris scattered on the old carpets, only to return the next morning to find a place untouched by human presence, metal fixtures shining and glass doors free of oily fingerprints. That was just how the world worked for them, generous with new beginnings. People who lingered knew better, that effort was put into the effect. Beginnings were never easy, never flowed so inevitably as the set and rise of the sun.

Hotch had been working late for many years, long before he was even in the BAU. He had learned in law school how to brew the coffee strong enough to stay up all night if need be. How the indoor lighting changed without the support of daylight, tinting the world a thin sickly green color without the natural light to round out the fluorescence. He only got worse about it once he joined the Bureau, the stress of the job causing old habits and old secrets to float to the surface. He compensated by working the hardest, doing the most, never allowing anyone to see him need things that other people needed. He could handle this job, this was all he ever wanted after all. To save the world. Or maybe, more modestly, to save the world of a few.

Now, with Haley gone, Jack with her, somewhere well out of his disastrous reach, there was no reason at all not to fully give in. No reason not to let his insomnia at least be productive. To let the latent self destruction that fueled his actions at least have a positive impact on the people he cared about. He could do that at least.

He rubbed his face with his hands, he was getting loopy. There was no reason to be letting his mind wander so far, there were still reports he could get through. Perhaps, as unlikely as the idea felt, he could even get ahead. He looked back down at the paperwork, letting his feet settle flat on the floor. The letters swam in front of him and he sighed, rolling his pen beneath his thumb, considering. He could probably make it another hour. He could get another pot of coffee into himself. He cast about for his mug, finding it empty on the shelf behind him. He sometimes kept it there to prevent his reports from acquiring telltale dark rings. Rolling back from the desk, he hooked the handle with two fingers and headed out to the kitchenette.

Wrapped up in making plans for what he could finish tonight and what could be left for the morning he was startled to find a light still on in the bullpen. He was certain everyone had gone home long ago. They’d each passed by his office, offering him an out as they made their ways home—perhaps their exit could be the motivation he needed to break out of his office, to head towards his own home. What they didn’t realize was that home was not better for him. Work was far better, far safer, with tasks to complete, a purpose. If he was smart he would stay at work forever.

So he waved to them as they checked out, giving them small smiles that, though imperceptible to strangers, they recognized as both apologies and well-wishes. He knew they worried, that they didn’t like to see him tied to his desk late into the night. They thought it was one of his many methods for making himself suffer but he didn’t have the heart to tell them that this was him making a good decision, this was him trying his very best. In his experience, nothing good happened at home.

He thought he remembered everyone leaving, each goodbye. But every day was the same and they all bled together so he must have missed one because he cannot deny the light down below. As he walked down the stairs, confused by the discovery that he was not as alone as he had been imagining, his tired vision focused better. He could make out dark blond curls and a darker sweater hunched over the desk in the middle of the room.

“Reid?” The name came out as a croak, he hadn’t spoken in hours and probably hadn’t had any water in that time period either. He cleared his throat and said it again, louder and closer to the other man than before. Reid’s head snapped up, expression as guilty as a child caught out of bed.

“S-sorry,” he stuttered, eyes wide.

Hotch frowned, not because he was upset but because he was still a little disoriented and his muscles fell back into the most familiar actions.

“I—“ Reid ducked his head and started pushing papers together on his desk, shoving them haphazardly into a file folder. “I was just…” he trailed off, not really having intended on explaining himself. He was simply also startled and reverting to the familiar.

Reid explained compulsively, able to handle the world when parsed down to facts and numbers. He didn’t have a fact for why he had stayed so late, only a feeling and that he didn’t know how to explain. Nights had been particularly lonely recently so he had allowed himself to stay later and later, getting lost in his thoughts at his work desk. Even without people around there was a sense of occupancy, their faint impressions lingering in the air. Plus there was always Hotch up in his office. He didn’t actively think about him or what he was doing but he liked knowing the man was nearby. Hotch’s solid presence always made him feel more secure, less concerned with whatever might jump out at him from the shadows overlapping the world and his mind.

He couldn’t tell Hotch that, was far too embarrassed to admit that sometimes, even with all the lights on, it was too dark in his apartment. No matter the illumination, he couldn’t quite dispel the unease of the night when he was alone. It wasn’t always like this, sometimes he had enough brightness to spare. Recently, however, things had been hard. So much had been going on, he couldn’t quite pinpoint why but he knew he felt uneasy. Too much had changed, there was too much risk that the floor could still fall out beneath him at any moment. And it hadn’t been so long since he’d escaped the consequences of his kidnapping, his addiction, that he trusted himself to be able to manage too much more uncertainty. Backsliding was always a risk and right now the world tilted at a frightening grade. So he let himself stay late in the safety of familiarity, sometimes working but more often not, idly rereading the books he had brought in and forgotten around the office. Tonight he had actually started to doze off, which contributed to his shock upon being discovered.

Hotch continued to frown at him, watching as the thoughts raced across Spencer’s face. He noticed how deep the shadows were beneath his eyes, the way darkness pooled in the space below his cheekbones, as if they were concave impressions filled by seawater. He knew Spencer didn’t eat enough, was all too familiar with the ways too much coffee and not enough calories pinched the skin and exposed the fine lines of capillaries beneath the surface.

“Sorry,” Spencer repeated.

He looked genuinely ashamed and it made Hotch a little sad. Couldn’t Spencer see that he was just as guilty of whatever it was he thought he was doing wrong by being here? He made a conscious effort to soften his expression, to show the warmth he felt for the younger man. After having spent his entire life masking his emotions, protecting himself one of the only ways he could, it wasn’t always easy to show his affection. Especially not at this time of night, when all he could do was cling to his walls and hope to find himself still on solid ground when the sun rose. Spencer wasn’t looking at him, too caught up in his own maze.

“Let’s go get something to eat,” Hotch said, trying a different tactic. He was smart, he knew not to make it a demand or a comment on Spencer’s health. It was only an invitation, firm enough for Spencer to know he meant it, that it was not just a pleasantry or an obligation he’d rather avoid. A hand extended, an offer of easy company to pass through a little more of this unwanted time. Spencer looked up from where his fingers were worrying at the corner of the file in front of him and smiled shyly. Hotch smiled back, a real smile that scrunched up his dark shining eyes.

“Give me five minutes to close up,” he said and turned back toward his office. As he packed his briefcase, his heart felt like it had been wrapped in a soft blanket. He didn’t bother questioning it—who didn’t like finding someone to commiserate with when they’d only expected more of the lonely dark?

Their late night meals became a regular occurrence. Not every night but once, maybe twice a week, they found themselves the last ones in the office. They fell into a rhythm, each learning to read more from the other’s subtle cues. They almost always went to the same place, a 24-hour diner near the office with deceptively strong coffee and a seemingly endless variety of pancakes. Hotch rarely ordered food, though he encouraged Reid to get anything he wanted. He accepted bites of whatever the younger man ordered, happy enough to reciprocate the excitement over strawberry rhubarb or cinnamon blueberry pancakes.

They talked about inconsequential things, mostly Hotch listening as Reid spun out information on whatever topic was on his mind that day. Reid, for his part, made mental note of the things Hotch responded to and had opinions on. Spencer sought out more information in that vein to bring up. He loved to talk, sure, but what he loved more was to discuss. During the day there was rarely time to let his thoughts wander so freely. It was a dream to have someone there, following along and challenging him with questions, building up new conclusions.

On the nights that followed difficult days, when they were both too stubborn to order anything of substance, they drank their coffees and avoided looking at each other too directly. Those nights they were both tied up in their own thoughts, islands separated by more than just distance, but there was something undeniably pulling them together. It was probably just the natural consequence of having opposite dominant sides but they mirrored each other perfectly across the table. Once, they both happened to reach for their mugs at the same time and the backs of their hands brushed against each other. They each noticed but responded differently. Hotch repressed any reaction, pretending the quick touch of bony knuckles and cool skin hadn’t registered. Maybe it hadn’t. Reid, on the other hand, jumped as if shocked, sloshing the hot coffee into a puddle on the table. This only flustered him more and he yelped at the sting of the liquid and the sting of embarrassment. It wasn’t like they’d never touched before. But here, in this nowhere time they’d constructed, it felt different. In his mind that brief touch became nails dragging across his skin, impossible to ignore. But he pretended the mug was too hot and Hotch didn’t argue, quick to assist with napkins and sounds of agreement to accompany Spencer’s half-coherent excuses.

When their meals were done, mostly cleaned plates of syrup and crumbs stacked to one side, they hesitated before standing up. Hotch always offered to give Reid a ride home, Reid always declined, insisting he could get there himself. This led to Hotch giving him a doubtful look and insisting that it was no trouble. Reid, secretly wanting a ride the whole time, struggled to argue for his self-sufficiency a little longer before giving in. It became a silly thing, both of them knowing exactly how the argument ended but they held onto it for some reason. It was a part of their ritual now, an important piece of the night. It kept this, whatever this was, contained, strictly occasional, random even. Not something they planned for, not something they looked forward to.

Hotch waited for Spencer to get in the door of his building before driving away. He knew it wasn’t necessary, Spencer was a grown man and a trained FBI agent with a weapon. Still, it made him feel better to see him safely inside. Sometimes he thought he would feel even better if he could walk Spencer all the way to his front door. But he knew that would be asking too much. As it was, the nights when they shared this extra hour or two together, extended further by the drive home, had been giving him more than he could have imagined. He wouldn’t dare impose himself further. The brittle excuse of safety would crumble if he were to start following the other man inside. He was not ready to find out what that would mean. He smiled unconsciously as he drove to his apartment. For now, it was enough that he had found companionship on these late nights when he would otherwise be slowly, meticulously, working his way into the grave.

~Part 2~

#Criminal Minds #aaron hotchner #spencer reid #hotchreid #beginnings

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lesbiancarat · 3 years

Note

Haha its fine! Im book anon for a reason so take all the time you need! Before I start, I wanna apologize for the possible asks you got about the merch and hybe in general. I didn't intend to cause stress and need to be careful bdjahdsj so slap me with a fish!

Onto the ask! But agreed, I mean before the big kpop boom we saw, this was very common. Build a decent fanbase and then move to Japan or China. (Of course sometimes you see INSTANT movement in other countries but that depends on the company and such but you know what I mean) but since we do have the more global kpop era, we may see more companies do America which isn't a bad thing. It makes sense buisness wise so they will jump on it after debut or something. Thus I don't see it a bad thing for kpop groups to promote in America because hey, if in Korea they do sell western artist music who also tour there, kpop groups can also do the same ya know?

Now onto the hybe comment, I will try not to speak too much on it so I will try to summarize. I think my theory is due with merch from their main artist, they think maybe it could work with svt which maybe could but svt has a different fanbase so throwing on random merch won't make fans really want to buy (not saying some won't which kudos to you! As a fan you are allowed to consume what you please except not be a bad apple about it) so thus like the infamous water bottles which was done for bts, they thought why not do it for svt because bts fans sold it out apparently for a 2nd wave of it being sold again. (Which to this day idk why someone in the hybe team thought this was smart. Like...this is just in bad taste imo) I do wanna agree that it appears that hybe doesn't seem to have a proper art team for svt because while sometimes wild, I do know for their main artist they do have thoughtful merch based around say an album concept I recall. Kf course they will make mistakes i.e. the water bottles. I do wish it can improve because even though it is capitalism, I think fans do want decent merch. We have seen interesting ideas like svt making their own magazine and selling it lol. Of course it is hard to please because some fans want subtle merch ideas while others don't mind the vibrant pastel colors we got or some want wild ideas like svt figurines or something. Overall I hope I didn't drag this too much as I just wanted to respond back to you, I agree with many points you said so yeah cx I say let's also wait as this is barely what, a year or even less of svt being under hybe properly. Especially when hybe had its rebranding and expanding so things are being changed, I know fans are worried about this which is valid but let's not panic just yet. Let's come back in a year to this and see what has improved and what hasn't. (OK but peldis sold the boys rings!? :o since when!? I haven't heard of this actually, when did this happen if I may ask?)

Oof yeah sadly with streaming, many view "oh you don't stream it means you aren't a fan" when isn't the case (which is why I personally don't like when certain companies also do "listening parties" which seems a bit ???) I do remember this popped up big in 2017 but many fans called it out so it quiet down a bit. Like we didn't see it so often where fans were causing problems over it so idk why this returned nor what the cause of it was.

But thank you!! It really was a nice closing chapter, I think when I have personal stuff settled I will try maybe get a new bunny? And oohh congrats on the album! (Note to hybe or pledis. Please make the us store a more common thing, it makes things so much easier! Am happy it was at your place quick so kudos to the us store. Oohh wonderful choices! I think for many fans anyone or heaven's cloud seems to be the popular picks? For me, I may have to say game boi or heaven's cloud as well! Those songs make me just so happy? Like game boy is just so creative with the way it was made. As a video game nerd, it is perfection. I could make an essay about this song lol and heaven's cloud is just...wow. I feel so at ease with the song, comfortable and soothed. Like you are on a cloud lol. Also that is totally fine! Rtl was a grower for me (I blame the mv, it didn't do the song jusitice) but it is a bop and can't stop humming the chorus at random moments. Overall a great summer album. Just imagine any of these songs performed live ndjansns

lol don't feel too bad about it! honestly they weren't that bad + i can always delete asks if i really don't want to answer them, i just always get a bit paranoid that things will get out of hand so i may end up getting more serious in those situations OTL

and yeah i agree! i don't think it's a bad thing for groups to promote in the US, as you said, it's similar to groups expanding their fanbase by promoting in china or Japan or other asian counties, it makes sense from a business standpoint and there's nothing wrong with promoting in different countries. i just wish that some kpop stans understood that western and/or global popularity is a bonus and not a requirement for success. while they do have a global appeal, at the end of the day kpop's main audience is korea, and groups that achieve popularity in Korea have already achieved what they set out to do. but there's unfortunately a decent chunk of international fans that prioritize western popularity over anything and can't fathom that a group can be successful without being popular in the US. or they just talk as if their groups western achievements are more valuable than their Korean ones and to me that starts to look like xenophobia... (sorry if I'm repeating anything i said before in regards to this, i feel like i am but I'm too lazy to go back and check OTL)

since you sent this ask hybe released the caratland merch which was actually really nice, and today they also announced that there will be birthday merch for cheol (and presumably all members from here on out). we don't know what the bday merch is yet but some carats are already a bit miffed that hybe is even thinking to capitalize off the boys' birthdays... i bring both of these up bc i feel like the caratland merch proves your point that hybe is capable of designing good and thoughtful merch, and honestly this does reassure me a bit. but on the other hand them trying to capitalize off the boys' birthdays also proves that they still don't fully understand carats wants and priorities as a fanbase. which, if the future of seventeens merch is gonna be quality merch with some shitty cash grabs in between, i can live with that. I'm not gonna like the shitty cash grabs and i think it would be in our best interest as a fandom to not go crazy buying those shitty cash grabs, because if we don't then hybe will hopefully stop wasting their time and put more effort into /quality/. but if we get quality merch for important events like concerts and fanmeetings, i can live with it. as you said too, it can take time for these things to change, and we should all recognize that. but at the same time merch specifically is market driven, so i don't think it's a bad thing if people like @ hybe on twt about any bad merch that comes out in order to drive that change dhfkfj

but also on a maybe more fun note in regards to the merch... with some carats being upset about the bday merch i was thinking about what hybe could do for merch instead that would fill the niche of being at intervals throughout the year that could still be limited time drops but that carats wouldn't be mad at them capitalizing on and then i was like duh! they could literally just make merch off of going seventeen! honestly I'm surprised they haven't yet. maybe not merch for every episode, but they could have a line of permanent gose merch w a basic logo or something and then release limited time merch themed around some of the more popular episodes at various points during the year. I'm actually kind of obsessed with this idea now and for once I'm like hybe/pledis please capitalize off of this!! dhfkgjg

they never actually sold them, but for seventeens 3rd anniversary, pledis planned to sell replicas of seventeens rings. after it was announced carats were understandably upset since the boys worked so hard for those. luckily pledis heard carats concerns and put out an apology and didn't manufacture them in the end. I'm glad that at least they listened to carats even though it would have been better if they had never considered the idea in the first place :(

oh yeah listening parties are definitely just another marketing technique to boost streams. i think like with a lot of marketing techniques, it just depends on the execution. imo if they're done well it can be a good way for fans to connect while listening to an artists music, which is mutually beneficial for the company, but i can totally see a situation where companies get greedy and push it too hard. i don't know anything about what happened with them back in the day, but if you're curious why SVT had listening parties leading up to your choice, they were set up by UMG, the American distributor that SVT worked with for this cb. in this case the listening parties weren't just for boosting streams, but also likely for UMG to gauge interest. SVT isn't officially signed to a US label yet, but UMG's data from the listening parties could be used to show US labels whether or not there's enough interest for them to be signed. which if that happens we'd almost definitely see a more permanent US shop!

ahh yes, once you're ready I'm sure it would be great to have another bunny companion 🥺

yes! heavens cloud and gam3 bo1 are both such feel good songs! my sister actually added heavens cloud to their Spotify after i made them listen to the album in the car dhfkf it's now one of 6 kpop songs they have saved (4 of which are SVT... my influence 💅 DHFJFH) I'm certain we'll see some of the songs from your choice at caratland this year, hopefully it's all of them but I'd especially like to see heavens cloud and wave 👀 I'm also still crossing my fingers for an i wish live performance bc i can't believe my favorite SVT b-side is one of the TWO tracks they haven't performed live not including the new album (the other one being network love, which i would also like to see live!)

#melia.ask #📖 anon #long post #it always takes me so long to answer these bc i am incapable of shutting up OTL

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jougogo · 4 years

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mascaras the haikyuu queens would borrow from my bag

based on my unhealthy obsession with mascaras (pls someone sponsor me)

also there’s a crack drabble at the end please read it im wheezing

shimizu kiyoko

bombastic by doucce: HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GIRL'S GORGEOUS LASHES im so jealous, anyways this mascara has a good wand and it's really good for achieving a more wispy/voluminous/full look IN LIKE ONE SWIPE WTF THIS IS A GODSEND. literally looks like lash extensions, i could go on and on about this mascara. not flaky and this will survive through workouts! doesn't give you raccoon eyes so it's good ! (coming from an athlete with an oily eyelids so dw i gotchu covered) a personal fav of mine teehee, ranked #1 in my bag.

hitoka yachi

it's real! benefit: this mascara is so so good at lengthening and giving off that natural look, which i think yachi would appreciate because she doesn't like too much attention and it's natural so she can sneak this by her mom nope def not speaking from experience it's really great for beginners, and also very reliable and trustworthy. this lil thing will get the job done, guranteed.

tanaka saeko

better than sex by too faced: this mascara just screams I N T E N S I T Y. it's super voluminizing and gives off the appearance of a fuller lash. on the more dry/creamy side so it's super great for beginners or if ur really hungover. also it's v v reliable, will give you wispy lashes every time! my go to when im late which is everyday but we don't talk about that

michimiya yui

bad gal bang! by benefit: another really natural one, good at separating, very VERY lengthening. dramatic enough so that it'll make you look more awake but still not enough to get daichi's attention rip. but this shi!t will stay all day until you take it off. a little more liquidy so you get some time to fix any lashes that are stuck together. also, thin wand so great for bottom lashes as well! 10/10, very much recommend.

shirofuku yukie

waterproof lights camera lashes by tarte: i feel like she's the type to be drinking her water but then when she puts it down too quickly the water just splashes right back in her face?? LMAO or does this only happen to me, but she needs her mascara to be waterproof! also bc of all the steam from the yummy food contests she's conquering! anyways the queen deserves the whole spotlight so she gets the beloved lcl by tarte! the wand is pretty thin but don't let that fool you, because this wand is so good at lengthening and separating lashes. really good at holding curls.

suzumeda kaori

lash sensational from loreal: pls give this poor girl a break i cant even imagine running around the fukurodani team with bokuto's antics, they've definitely broken into her bags more than once and messed up her stuff. so she had to get the cheap drugstore mascara just in case </3 but its okay because this is one of my top 3, the consistency is really good and the wand is so amazing gahh, it has like different combs on different sides so if you have that one pesky pair of lash that just sticks together it'll be super easy to fix. perfect for on the go

misaki hana

kush mascara by milk makeup: you can't convince me that this girl isn't exhausted from the antics of johzenji, which makes this mascara perfect for her! the consistency is on the creamy/dry side so a couple quick swipes will get you the full lash. plus it's infused w some cannabis oil so it makes ur lash healthier (but terushima will definitely try to do some experiments w this so please hana guard it safely)

amanai kanoka

lash next door by brooklyn and bailey: ok ok so my fav thing about this mascara is that it's not waterproof so it's easy to take off, but it's water resistant so that it won't come off when you're all sweaty!! literally perfect for intense practices, and the wand is similar to lcm by tarte so they wield pretty similar results; sweet, curled, lengthened lashes!! and DOES NOT FLAKE it's literally a life saver

alisa haiba

liquid lash extensions by thrive: this mascara definitely the one i use the most! It’s unique in the sense that it’s a tubing mascara, so it’s water resistant which is great for alisa because she keeps tearing up every time lev messes up a serve (we stan a responsible sis) BUT it’s also very easily removed! just splash some warm water and the mascara literally slides right off im not even kidding. she definitely takes really good care of her appearance and will be sad even if she sees one eyelash fall so this is really great for her bc waterproof mascara is such a pain in the ass to remove. also very lengthening

yamaka mika

lash multiplier by revlon: mika is a baddie!! but daishou makes her cry so much she has to rebuy a tube like every month. so our lovely mika gets something easy, cheap, and has a good effect for puppy eyes. this mascara is just like the liquid lash extension; a tubing mascara,,,HOWEVER this one is WAY CHEAPER. u can def find this at ur local drugstore for like 6-8 bucks. great for on the go since it's easy to apply super fast, will get u a nice full fringe in like 3 swipes.

nametsu mai

damn girl! by too faced: how could i forget our beloved date tech manager,,,mai is def the scariest on date tech and she will let you know!!! this mascara is essentially a sequel to better than sex; your lashes will be bigger, fuller, and more glamorous! also the formula is literally so light it's like whipped cream,,, you will not feel a thing guranteed. it's like extensions but m a g i c

extra:

after being scolded by yukie for not getting dinner on time, the boys of the 3rd gym strolled through the dimly lit hallway on the way to the cafeteria. "yo, you know, i heard the girls bathrooms have couches or whatever," kuroo said, noticing the girl's bathroom as they walked past it.

"what! thats not fair!" bokuto whined. "how come the girl's stuff are always nicer? the boy's bathroom always just stinks, and there's always pee on the ground for some reason. like why can't you just aim? it's not that hard."

"well, im sure for short people, like maybe yaku-san or shoyo it's easy. but it's hard to aim when you're very tall!" lev explained brightly. in the onsen somewhere, morisuke yaku felt shivers go up his spine and a sudden urge to punch someone.

"lev, are u sure ur not the one peeing the floor? c'mon, man this is why we don't get nice things in our bathrooms!" kuroo groaned, flicking the first year’s forehead.

"well, it's just a rumor," akaashi explained, lifting the hem of his shirt to wipe off the sweat on his face. "there might not be a couch in the girl's bathroom."

"why don't you go find out?" tsukki taunted with a devilish grin on his face.

"i don't think this is a good idea," akaashi remarked, albeit a bit too late as hinata, kuroo, lev, and bokuto already sprinted down the hallway.

"aww, no couch" bokuto disappointedly wailed when he stepped into the girl's bathroom.

"well, this is a school bathroom after all," kuroo admitted as he flipped on the light switch. the bathroom was cleaner than the boy’s, for sure, but after all the outrageous tales they had expected to find at least a little something out of the ordinary.

"hey, what's this?" hinata was pointing to a bright pink makeup bag that was lying open on the counter.

"ooh, one of the managers must’ve left it behind! whose bag is this, is there a name on it?" lev rushed over to the bag and turned it upside down. dozens of colorful tubes and compacts fell out, splayed across the counter.

"whats this tube?" hinata asked, holding up a metallic pink tube.

"well, what does it say on the tube, dumbass?" tsukki smirked from the door frame he was leaning on. akaashi hesitantly stood behind him, questioning if entering the girl’s bathroom was a good decision.

"better..than sex!" hinata read aloud, a bit louder than he had intended to. everyone froze, and stared at the little pink tube.

"wait what the fu- hold up lemme see that," kuroo aggressively grabbed the tube from hinata's hands and twisted it open

"oh it's just macasara," bokuto said. they shouldn’t have been surprised, considering it did come out of a makeup bag.

"do you think the name is true?" kuroo was actually curious about this. is the little pink tube of innocent looking mascara the reason that girls were refusing to go out with him?

"let's see," bokuto snatched the tube out of kuroo's hand and started swiping on the pigment on his lashes, his mouth agape and head tilted back as he intently stared at his reflection in the mirror.

"it's been 10 minutes since we called the boys, should we check up on them?" yachi said nervously. the other girls turned and looked as if she had just made a revelation. "you're right, bokuto always sprints up for dinner and he looked pretty eager when we gave him his notice," kaori said nervously. "and everyone knows that the nekoma boys shouldn't be left alone, they're chaotic," shirufuku remarked. "that's so true...lets go find them," the rest of the managers agreed, taking off their aprons and stepping out of the cafeteria.

however, they heard the boisterous laughs a floor away. cautiously, kiyoko led the group down the stairs and followed the sound. imagine their surprise when they found the noise coming from inside the girl's bathroom.

"um, we're the only girls here…" yachi whispered. they crept up closer and closer until they were right outside. kiyoko put her finger to her lips and motioned for the girls to line up against the wall just in case. "okay, we'll open the door in 3…" she put her hand on the knob. "2…" it seemed like time was in slow motion as everyone's heart pounded loudly. "1!"

kuroo and hinata have mascara on their eyebrows, streaks of black pigment under their eyes and all over their cheeks like some kind of war paint. akaashi is holding an eyelash curler, trying to curl bokuto's eyelashes all the while bokuto is smacking akaashi's hand away.

"it looks like a torture device!" he cried.

"bokuto-san, it's suppose the enhance the lengthening effect,"

lev is trying to give himself a mustache by swiping on hair-like strokes with the mascara wand, and ever the opportunist, tsukki is in the corner, taking blackmail pictures

"oh, hi!. . . girls" hinata trailed off when he saw the horrified managers through the mirror. every face in the room paled white as a sheet.

extra no.2:

"wait how do i take this off, it's not coming off with water!!" bokuto wailed, slumping against the sink

he had unfortunately, picked the waterproof mascara.

the managers agreed that they have all conveniently ran out of makeup wipes

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu crack #haikyuu kiyoko #haikyuu yachi #nekoma #karasuno #fukurodani #kuroo tetsurō #haikyuu kuroo #hq akaashi #akaashi x reader #akaashi #haikyuu shoyo #hinata #haikyuu saeko #bokuaka

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mycelier · 3 years

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My name is Simone and I would like to tell you a tale!

I will not have access to my laptop for some days more and because writing on my phone is kind of painful (physically, because I am working on hand mobility now), this may end up in drafts and taking a while to post. I am going to share what has been happening the last 2 months because I feel like everything went from 0 to 100 in the span of a few weeks and its been really, really wild.

So!!! LETTUCE begin!

For roughly 5 years I've been struggling to get a diagnosis on an extremely painful area of my arm. There was literally nothing visible; no lump, discoloration or any other physical abnormality to indicate anything was wrong. I spent thousands on pretty much every kind of imaging you can do, and was told time and time again that there was nothing wrong and, perhaps, it was psychosomatic and I needed therapy or, more often than not, I was given a shrug and a vague "i dunno" response.

This year, something changed. I deal with chronic pain (my spine is congenitally fused in my neck and lower spine and I have baby bone spurs all over), and in the process of trying to work on that I brought up my arm again to a dr I no longer see. He'd told me my arm was SEVERAL things over the years I had been seeing him but this time said it was a fibromyalgia knot, something I had been told by a team of doctors some time before that. I said okay cool and was sent to a physical therapy rehab center where the dr worked with myofascial release and stretches to help with injuries. This amazing man fixed my plantar fasciitis and helped get my chronic headaches under control but NOTHING we did helped my arm pain. Within a month he was worried bc we had started to notice that there was a hardness to the spot that never changed with any exercise or massage.

Worried that there was a nerve being trapped or crushed (another diagnosis I'd gotten over the years), this amazing man sent me to a neurosurgeon who immediately frowned and said he didn't think my neck pain and my arm pain were connected. He ordered an MRI of my arm and despite it not being visible on an MRI 2 years before, he found something PHYSICALLY THERE where I said I had pain. He considered doing the surgery to remove it (despite being a neurosurgeon he was fascinated with this weird horribly painful spot) but eventually sent me a surgeon for an oncology center, assuring me it was because this new surgeon was one of the best in Texas for removing soft tissue tumors, not because there was any thought of cancer.

I met with the surgeon who gave me one more diagnosis of an AVM (arteriovenous malformation), snd said they were benign and not necessary to remove as well as the possibility that if removed it would likely return. Truly, at this point after 5 years of constant nauseating horric pain when someone brushed against me or if I gently brushed against ANYRHING, a pain so bad that it had basically made me stop using my right arm as much as possible (of course I'm right handed lol), I said GET THAT FUCKER OUT OF THERE MAN and my first surgery was scheduled.

Surgery one occurred Nov 5th and was an out patient event. I went home and passed out. At some point my mom said that while I'd been in recovery the dr said the thing in my arm hadn't looked like what he expected so he had sent it to pathology. I went back to work and was hanging out until the Tuesday before Thanksgiving when I went in for a super immediate meeting with a different doctor who told me that what had been in my arm was a synovial sarcoma, aka, cancer! He, this incredibly kind man I did not know, gently discussed chemo and told me I needed to have a CT scan immediately. Based on the CT, i was either in stage one or stage four if it has spread to lungs. The day before Thanksgiving I received the news that it was stage one, it had not spread, and i was so fucking happy.

Then it was time talk about next steps. My surgeon marked out a circle on my arm to indicate how much he was gonna remove in order to guarantee clear margins..but it was not enough of a meeting for me to grasp the surgery I was about to receive.

The day of my second surgery, dec 8th, came quickly and i met with the plastic surgeon, the kindest, most patient man. He moved my arm around and explained how he was going to hijack a vein from my forearm in order to keep the blood flow health to the flap he was gonna take from the donor site: My inner thigh.

It has been 11 days and I am living in an inpatient rehab facility, working on dealing with the nerve damage/pain, the EXTREME pain of my donor site, and the lost mobility that I am working on getting back, both in my leg and my hand. The majorities of my arm is numb...except where the nerve pain burns my wrist and forearm and makes it painful to wear my arm sling (I can't fully extend my arm, nor can I lift, push, pull or use my arm in any way that would stress out my new arm flap). Also may have a brand new urinary tract infection but as I write this I'm chugging water for a urine sample to hopefully get that treated. Below are some pictures I have taken/had taken of my arm! Im not ready to look at my leg outside of the bandages (which, since having the wound vac removed today, hell yeah, will need daily dressing changes).

EDIT: I tried posting pictures of my arm last night and my post disappeared immediately so I will try to make a new post with these photos in case the whole post was erased because of them. I will tag them as post surgery photos. I do not consider them gory or excessive but hey that's just me.

I intend to post more things as I keep healing and as I gain more mobility. I was given "independence" in my room yesterday which means I can officially get up without any assistance needed (using my badass new cane to help me lift my foot in and out of bed)!!!! Which also means I can get up whenever I want without the bed alarm going off. I have a badass cane that has been the best tool in helping me get around (and has inspired my mom and others to suggest and look into getting me a cane sword which makes me laugh REAL hard). See below me using the cane to move my foot in and out of bed!

Part of why I'm posting this is because I really needed to talk about it and while later posts may not be this long or expository but I wanted to have a base post to explain other ones related to this one!!!

I will update with some newer pics tomorrow night when my mom comes by to help me take newer pics. The arm flap looks super healthy (according to the drs), and when they changed my leg dressing they said its looking really good and healthy!

I......also really wanted to post my Amazon wishlist. Due to this stupid wild bad lottery ticket, I've been struggling to pay my bills and rent but!!! I have good insurance, thankfully (since I live in the US and my hospital stay and this rehab stay would have more than bankrupted me), and im hoping my disability checks will get here in time for rent!!! I'm putting up my wishlist bc I can't afford some of the "essentials" on there and, also, because I havent been able to have any kind of comfort during any of this. I never ask for anything for holidays because usually i...dont want to burden people with spending money on me since I know how hard money is, especially right now. And if I don't have enough for rent later I might have to create a go fund me...but right now everything looks good for rent and bills just...not for anything fun.

Thank you so much for your time!!! And happy holidays you wild bastards!!!

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/36PG6BAYD18U7?ref_=wl_share

#tw for many things!#cancer mention #surgery mention #i tried to add photos of my arm post surgery and my post disappeared so I will try again in a separate post #everything relating to my cancer or recovery i will label as badass battlestar bc it makes me feel cool #badass battlestar

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johannestevans · 4 years

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Vampirism: What Is it?

Wrote out an article about vampires, as applied to vampires like those in Heart of Stone, and in my other original work! Thinking I might start making semi-regular Wiki-style articles with world-building like this.

Tip Jar

Vampirism is a disease communicable by a magical, blood-based virus (sanguinavirus A) originally found only in the infernal bat (Desmodus infernus), a species that came from Averna, the nether dimension commonly known as Hell, which came to Earth in approximately 9000 BC. Observing that some of these bats were very hardy and resistant to damage, in the vicinity of what is now known as Northern Iraq, some sorcerers at the time chose to examine them in detail, and realised they were infected with the aforementioned disease. By artificially cultivating the virus for human transmission, they created a strain intended to infect mundane and magical humans (sanguinavirus B), and thus created the vampire.

Today, according to records from the International Vampiric Council, there are approximately thirty to forty thousand vampires spread across the Earth, with the vast majority of them originally having mundane or magical humans that were infected with it. Sanguinavirus B is an extremely hardy virus that immediately makes changes to its host's make-up in order to ensure it can safely exist within it and sustain itself, and thus triggers what is broadly known as the vampiric disease.

What is a vampire?

The term "vampire" commonly refers to a human - ordinarily but not always from a magical community - who has been infected with Sanguinavirus B, and has subsequently contracted the disease known as vampirism. This is not to say that only humans can be vampires, however - many animals are capable of contracting vampirism, as are many fae species.

Once it has been transmitted to a new host, the sanguinavirus establishes itself in the core of its host's body, around the heart, and forms new matter that has been compared by some academics to a hindbrain. It devotes itself to initially changing the make-up of its host body, and then focuses itself on defending the host from threats, boosting immune response, strengthening the host, and ensuring it retains a temperature low enough for the virus to remain healthy. The vampiric core allows vampires to heal from even severe injuries very quickly, and makes them heavily resistant to damage or weakness.

As well as priming its host to resist damage or attack, the sanguinavirus creates in them a heavy thirst for blood, specifically for the iron-rich protein haemoglobin, and the vampire will be driven to quench this thirst in the same way they would be hunger or thirst for water.

A human vampire will typically develop an ability to extend two of their canine teeth, which will become very sharp, in order to pierce a victim's skin, and after making this piercing, they can lap at or suck from the blood that comes from the wounds. These teeth inject a vampiric venom, which is made up primarily of two parts - an anti-coagulant, to ensure free blood flow while the vampire drinks, and a strong analgesic that will impart a feeling of euphoria upon the victim. As a vampire ages, their venom typically becomes more potent, and stronger venom's effects can last for several days, and even have hallucinogenic effects, or induce memory loss.

One of the primary changes in the vampire's body is in the increased density and number of tightly corded fiber that makes up their muscle: muscle becomes very tightly packed and heavy in make-up, meaning that many vampires are far stronger than their undiseased counterparts. The skin is also thickened and hardened, and the veins are tightly constricted in order to help keep them safe from harm and to ensure they are appropriately insulated by the heavy flesh. As a result of this strengthening of both skin and muscle, a vampire is typically far, far heavier than their human counterpart, and most non-vampires would struggle to lift or support the weight of one.

With the thickening of the vampiric skin, the vampire ceases to sweat, and in such cases as the vampire becomes overheated, the veins will further constrict and the skin will become slightly thinner in an attempt to ensure heat can escape. In the case of the latter, the vampire's skin will seem chalky and strangely static in appearance, and these are the elements a doctor should look for as signs of fever, as opposed to a sweaty brow.

Vampires do still need to eat food and remain hydrated, on top of their appetite for blood, and studies have shown that vampiric appetite is not noticeably different to that which they had whilst human, although some particularly strong-tasting or aromatic foods can become overpowering and thus less palatable once the disease has been contracted, owing to the enhancement of vampiric senses. With that said, vampires can survive starvation or extreme thirst for far longer than their human counterparts, even if they are also deprived of blood.

The sanguinavirus thrives best at lower temperatures, and the body temperature of a human vampire typically stands at approximately 23° Celsius, or approximately 73° Fahrenheit. Vampires are subsequently very cold to the touch, as well as their flesh being hard when pressed upon, and their bodies are often compared to corpses in physicality. Vampires prefer cooler temperatures, and although due to the magical nature of their disease, they can often retain their homeostasis up to much higher temperatures, if a vampire contracts a fever, or if they are under threat from fire, it can rapidly become very dangerous for them.

Many vampires - although not all - are highly sensitive to direct sunlight, and have to shield themselves from the sun. It's generally recommended for vampires to shade themselves as best they can, wearing clothes that cover the skin, carrying a parasol or remaining in the shade, and to use a high-factor sunscreen.

Those vampires sensitive to sunlight will often begin to burn and blister within minutes of being under direct sunshine, and there are documented cases - although none in recent history - of vampires dying from combustion following exposure to sunlight alone.

Many of the vampire's senses are heavily enhanced following the contraction of the disease, particularly their senses of hearing, taste, and smell. Due to the enhancement of the latter, some vampires find themselves sensitive to some strong scents - such as garlic, fish, or some strong chemicals - and vampires typically have strong enough hearing to keep track of the heartbeats of anyone else in their vicinity.

Although the vampire's sense of sight is not particularly improved by the contraction of vampirism (it has been noted that both colourblind vampires and vampires with myopia or hyperopia, as well as vampires who are blind or partially sighted, retain their impediments post-turning), many vampires find that the extent to which their eyes take in light is heavily improved, meaning that they can see in low-light conditions, as well as being able to navigate by ear in complete darkness. As a result of the former, vampires can develop photosensitivity, particularly to the shine of bright sunlight or to strong fluorescent lighting, and will wear sunglasses in public.

Vampires' homes are often lit by candles or by low-impact, warm lighting that is easy on the eyes. For ancient vampires particularly, although these are problems many vampires have, adjusting to the modern world in the aftermath of the Industrial Revolution has been difficult because of the constant hum of electricity in wires, water moving through pipes, and particularly the high-frequency noises of motors and light bulbs.

Due to the aggressive nature of the immune system after the vampiric disease has been contracted, some vampires also develop overpowering allergies, particularly to plastics, cleaning chemicals, and diesel and petroleum-based products. In urban and industrial areas, it is common to see vampires wearing clothes that cover them from head to toe, and to wear sunglasses or even goggles, and to wear some form of face covering, such as a mask or piece of gear to breathe through, and perhaps ear plugs.

Many vampires have highly developed sound proofing in their homes, or choose to live away from urban and industrial centres in order to avoid overstimulation. Vampires are widely regarded as immortal, due to the fact that the effect of their disease is to ensure that they do not appear to age, and vampires can live for centuries upon centuries, if not millennia.

This is not to say that the vampire is immune to damage - common causes of vampiric death are exposure to fire (although unlike humans, they do not die from smoke inhalation, but from the heat), hyperthermia, and as a result of fever from another contracted illness.

Because of the effects of the vampiric "hindbrain", which encourages ultrafast healing in the vampire, and because the vampire's flesh is so resistant to being pierced or cut, it is difficult for a vampire to be injured. They can recover swiftly even after breaking a bone or severely injuring an organ, although they do not regenerate limbs.

In cases of severe head injury, the "hindbrain" has been known to suddenly swell and take over many unconscious processes ordinarily controlled by the prime brain, such as control of the nervous, circulatory, and respiratory systems, giving the brain much needed time to heal itself. With that said, vampires are not capable of limb regeneration, and they cannot regenerate lost limbs, nor regrow their head once they have been beheaded.

A traditional method of execution for a vampire is to drive a hard stake made of iron or heavy wood through their heart while they are lying on their back - this is because a hammer is needed to work up the necessary force to pierce the vampire's hard, dense chest, and the stake must pierce directly through the "hindbrain" to prevent it from assisting the vampire in later healing.

Sanguinavirus can be transmitted between parent and baby, although there are some additional health risks concerned for expecting parents - some vampires struggle to drink enough blood whilst pregnant, as all the protein is consumed by the foetus, occasionally necessitating a regular transfusion.

Contrary to popular belief, children who've contracted vampiric disease do continue to mature and grow, and although they have the teeth and a mild venom from birth, they do not form the strong, dense flesh, or sensitivity to light, that is typical to vampires until they reach puberty.

Young vampires tend to grow more consistently throughout puberty rather than having the sudden growth spurts human children often have, and as a result, many of them have complaints of sustained aches and pains until they're fully grown. With that said, on average, vampiric youths often grow taller on average than their human counterparts. They usually cease to visibly age at around the age of twenty-five.

Being an artificially cultivated magical virus, sanguinavirus takes two elements to be transmitted - first, the new host must be bitten by a vampire, or to somehow have an infected vampire's venom in their veins, and secondly, they must then ingest the vampire's blood, or have it enter their bloodstream.

A common myth among noble vampires, which has been roundly debunked by academics, is that the working class and poor vampires came about because they would capture and eat infernal bats that had drunk their blood. In actuality, there are vampires of all socioeconomic classes, because even at the advent of the vampiric disease's introduction to humanity, there were different sorcerers at work upon it, and later, noble vampires would often transmit the disease to their favourite servants or slaves, or to merchants and tradesmen in their communities.

It has been posited by many academics that there is a risk of sexual transmission of the sanguinavirus between a vampire and a partner from whom they have fed, because there is a potential for blood-to-blood contact because of tiny abrasions during sex. It is recommended that vampires use appropriate prophylactics during sex, even if they are using a chemical birth control, and to use plenty of lubricant.

Full guidelines for safe sex for vampires can be found on the website of the International Vampiric Council.

#as defined by dictionary #vampires #worldbuilding #heart of stone

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throwing-summers-at-the-walls · 4 years

Note

Hi, i hope you are feeling good! Im better than yesterday so i can finally answer you. First of all: i am so happy that you shared your fanfiction! i had a great time reading it! Im always open for more recs. Maybe your all time favorites? Or if you know some good h/c these are always welcome :) And YESSS please send me a link to your fanvids. -- yeah 13rw was super cursed. haha i also watched season 1 but thankfully i was able to sto watching becaue i could feel it making me feel bad (1)

I agree the suicide scene was just cringe (but i think i remember reading somewhere that they cut it out? idk) and overall this show just gave me the feeling that there was no hope and things are always getting worse instead of better and i hated that. but enough of that cursed show. can i just say i really admire how open you are about your feelings (like being suicidal and that) i realy, really admire this about you. i have so much respect for you that you can just share your feelings here (2)

I have never heard of ace attorney but that story you described sounds really good. and i get reading sth that isnt good for you and still doing it (because im a dumb bitch too :D) -- okay i might accept that Root will never grow on you (but i thought so too and look at me now :D) but i havent fully given up yet :)-- yes thats the girl. i think it was really sweet when she said that to Shaw. and i think Shaw appreciated it that someone tried to figure her out instead of just writting her off (3)

Shaw is really cool and definately also a badass and in combination with John its just great! but you will have to suffer trough some Shoot. but maybe, maybe you will end up not hating Root. hope dies last (idk how the saying goes in english, sorry). -- Did you ever ship Caresse (in a romantic way)? cause sometimes i do and sometimes i dont and i get so confused about it :) but i think most of the time i like them more as friends. anyway her death really sucked and you are right with (4)

her death and them losing the library it felt like a different show (i mean i guess it was a different show then). i kinda get your feelings about the destroyed library because i also really loved it (and im really bad with change) but i dont think it affected me as much as you. but yeah i still missed the library very much. and while the subway is a really cool new place its not the same. (also the subway is super dark cause its underground and idk it just makes the whole thing less homey) (5)

Yes he is everything! such a great, interesting character and i wish there were more John-centric episodes! (like ones that explored his character more). that was one of my biggest dislikes of the later seasons that John wasnt featured as much anymore. i think he chuckled a few times in the show but a real laugh? i cant remember one :( -- He did promise Joss to talk to Tyler so @show were is that talk? -- if seen the vid its awesome! thehiddenmemory has some great poi vids! (6)

yes i think so too. Like Grace would probably be relived and thankful that Harold is still alive and maybe they would even try again but eventually she would figure out that she cant trust him after lying to him for so long or sth like that and Harold would ofc realize that he is in love with someone else now. And then he finds out that John is still alive but stayed away cause he didnt want to get in the way of Harold/Grace. But then Harold comes back. And when they meet again John is like (7)

you came back for the machine? what about Grace. But Harold tells him he came back for John not the machine and then they kiss and have a happy live with Bear (sorry i got a little carried away here :D). -- Yeah Zoe is really hot and she needed more screen time! -- i hope you have a good day and i hope i havent messed up the numbers on the asks! :)

Hi ! I'm finally free from the resits, I hope you're doing okay with your thesis 💛

Sorry for replying late, there was the exam resits, and I read a bunch of fics, then I fell into pokémon and started bingewatching it. (Also I had a breakdown during therapy today so I'm gonna finish writing my answer to distract myself - it's been sitting in my drafts for so long rip)

Thank you !! It was a very personal thing, I'm really happy you liked it !! Your support and your comment made me thrive 💛💛

Tbh I was surprised to see it get kudos given that the only intended audience was my self projecting ass 🤣

So, my fav fics (my fav fic ever is in French, rip to y'all bc it's so good):

I am, I am, I am by RavenWhitecastle

Actually check the entire series this work belongs to: The Sinner and the Saint. I haven't finished it yet but I love it (I just skipped the explicit fics bc I don't like smut or sub!John)

Breaking All The Rules by talkingtothesky

Outsider Perspective by Neery

A Really Private Person by astolat

Hamartia (the hero's fatal flaw) by astolat

If Only for Tonight by spacemutineer

From Here, Where? by AKMars

Stroll by TheaNishimori

and the world was gone by lunarcorvid

a light that never goes out by vindicatedtruth

Limitations. by Michaelssw0rd

Reel you in and spit you out by Michaelssw0rd

All I Want For Christmas Is You by richmahogany

By What Power I Am Made Bold by brinnanza

Aftershocks by darringtons

At Certain Hours It All Breaks Down by nogoaway

construction of a kingdom by the_ragnarok

You Take Me Higher Than I've Gone by talkingtothesky

All Together Now by beadedslipper

I'll Let the Waters Still by brinnanza

Birthday Tradition by talkingtothesky

Things My Father Taught Me by KRyn

Truth is in the Eye of the Beholder by infiniteeight

Better Luck This Time by Lisztful

Motivations by JenNova

What's On the Table by cortue

In Another Life by Della19

I Thought We Already Were by talkingtothesky

Misunderstandings by thisstarvingartist

This is already fucking long omg so for the h/c: my bookmarks filtered with Rinch and h/c

Here's my playlist, it's mostly Rinch, but there are a few not Rinch vids, plus some scenes I like

This is long enough already, so it's time for a read more. Also, warning, we be talking about suicide

The portrayal of suicide is cringe most of the time anyway. If my suicidal ass can find a list of suicide methods and their lethality in 2 mins on Google you'd think writers who are supposed to do some research would be able to find them too but no they're like "ah yes slicing wrists" even though it's literally the shittiest method 🙄 (I just don't understand why slicing wrists seems to be such a popular method in the collective imagination ? It's weird.) At least in 13rw she took aspirin and cut herself vertically instead of horizontally but still, no hesitation wounds, and she dies even though she only got 4 wounds iirc ? I know more about jumping off bridges than slicing wrists, but it kinda sounds like bullshit to me. Also Netflix once suggested "beyond the reasons" to me, it's a sort of discussion with the cast and crew of 13rw and the only thing I remember is a moment of intellectual masturbation abt how they "opened a discussion abt suicide" 😬😬😬

They may have cut it out it's not impossible, idk I didn't hear about it, but it's not like I look for info about this dumpster fire lol. Maybe they faced backlash ? Wouldn't be surprised given how shit the show was. And yeah it has a hopeless vibe, I mean that's how it be when you're suicidal, but I didn't like it either.

You're sweet 💜💜 it's interesting that you find it respectable or admirable, I don't have an external point of view, so I'm just like 🤷 it is what it is. I understand where you're coming from though, I guess it's still quite a taboo subject, and suicidal people don't always feel comfortable talking about it, so me throwing around that I jumped off a bridge must be surprising. I'm detached enough from my suicide attempt that I'm able to talk about it without much of a problem, and I'm not really suicidal anymore.

Dumb bitches unite 👏👏👏 we be out there reading shit we shouldn't read

Yeah I think it's nice how the show didn't portray Shaw as a bad person for not having "normal feelings". Well, hope makes one live as we say in French (idk the English saying either lol) but don't hold much hope about me liking Root lmao

I used to ship careese bc they kissed in the crossing, but then I read some Rinch fics and I just ended up falling into it to the point where I stopped caring about careese. Now I think their relationship works better as a friendship.

Yeah all that change really puts me off... It just gives me "bad spin-off" vibes. Especially since there is less John :( and less Rinch :((((

Lmao yeah I just have a lot of feelings about early poi hgkfglrk. Also :/ I'm sad about the subway being less homey pls I just want happiness ?? I swear this show destroys my heart on top of owning my last braincell (brb changing my blog title to this lmao)

Mood I need all the John-centric eps, give me m o r e characterization and development and backstory and feelings hhhhhhh. I love him so much I just wanna spend more time with him. And that's what fics are for ! Yeah thehiddenmemory is so talented ! Astolat made some good ones too, on top of writing really good fics ! (Our fandom has been blessed with the presence of one of the ao3 founders hell yeah)

Also, remember how we talked abt the poi subreddit ? The other day I left a comment on there, wild I know. It wasn't a discussion about the last seasons though, I'm not crazy, it was about the impact poi had in our lives so I said it literally taught me English. Who knows maybe sometimes I'll comment again lol. I just don't wanna meet one of those people who prefer late poi over early poi.

Allow me to uuuuh write something based on what you said. Don't ask me how John survived with no major injuries, my man got that Thick Plot Armor alright. Hope you appreciate me getting carried away sjdkdksk it's kinda rushed and the first part isn't that good bc idk how to write Grace I'm just here for that sweet sweet Rinch stuff

Harold is eating breakfast with Grace in her kitchen – he can't think of her home as his home – when his phone vibrates. It's a text from the machine. It's a surprise, she barely contacted him since... He blocks the thoughts and the images coming to his mind. The machine sent him a picture. When he opens it, his heart misses a beat. Right here on his screen is a silhouette he thought he would never see again. His phone vibrates again. Another picture, this time it's unmistakably John, wearing his signature suit, Bear next to him. Transfixed, he stares at his phone until he feels Grace gently touching his arm. She goes straight to the point.

"Is it John ?" He looks up in confusion, but before he can say anything, she adds, "I hear you call him in your sleep every night."

"It's him, yes." He doesn't want to explain. He only wants to see John, to touch him, to tell him how much he loves him.

"You should go back to him. I like you, Harold. I am deeply relieved to see you alive. But I've been thinking, and... It's not working. This, us... You aren't really the man I fell in love with, the man I grieved... I can't trust you anymore." She doesn't say 'You lied to me' but Harold hears it all the same.

Harold sits on their bench. The machine indicated John often comes here. Soon enough, his arms are full of Bear, and John is standing in front of him.

"John. How are you ?" he asks when Bear finally calms down.

"Busy. And you ?"

Harold eyes him suspiciously – John once said he was busy when he was bleeding and way too close to death – but he seems to be well.

"I'm fine." He doesn't have time for awkward small talk." I thought you were dead. Why didn't you contact me ?"

"The machine told me you were with Grace. I thought you wanted to come back to your previous life. I didn't want to crash into it and ruin what you had."

Harold wants to be angry at him, but he understands. He did the same with Grace.

"You would never ruin anything. Besides, my relationship with Grace... didn't survive my lies. She's very dear to my heart, but she's a part of my previous life, as you said."

"So you came back for the machine, and the numbers, like the good old times ?"

Harold gets up from the bench.

"I came back for you. You are an important part of my life. The most important part."

John smiles, finally. He takes a step towards Harold, they're so close they could kiss. Harold reaches out, grips his shirt and slowly inches closer. He's still afraid of being rejected but John wraps his arm around him and kisses him. The kiss is over too soon. John's smile is even wider when they part.

"You're the most important part of my life too," he says before kissing Harold again. "You will stay ?"

"Always."

Damn I live for sappy Rinch stuff.

Bitches decided that Harold saying "always" is peak Rinch. It's me I'm bitches.

Also ofc I had to make a reference to number crunch, who do you think I am

Anyway. I hope you have a good day ! 💛

#half valid anon

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a-queer-seminarian · 5 years

Text

free will, predestination

So i’m reading through my Presbyterian Heritage and Polity notes in preparation for my ordination exams next week and figured I’d throw all the theology that confuses me most into one text post.

Providence and Free Will

According to Calvin, God is a micro-manager:

There is no moment in your life when God is not with you, actively loving you in that moment

At its best, providence means that God is active in all parts of the world

And then this is where it gets bizarre and confusing and i just gotta be like Calvin. honey. no.

Because Calvin’s idea of free will is the compatibilist idea – free will is compatible with divine determinism

Shannon’s example: Today I put on a green shirt; God determined that I would put that green shirt on. I had the agency, I had to go through the process of choosing the shirt and putting it on, but it would not have happened if God had not determined it.

So like, I did use free will to pick my shirt – but God also made it happen. Somehow…both…are true

Everything has two layers: human agency & intention, and divine agency & intention.

Meanwhile, other theologians have another take on free will – the incompatibilist idea (Gustavo Guierrez is on this team and so am i)

God limits Hir power, gives us room to do things that are against the will of God

SO YEAH, Calvin alludes to Amos being like, “There is no evil in the city but God has done it” – like, if something bad happened it’s because God determined it will.

I just. Nope. Sorry guess it’s just the Catholic in me jumpin out but No Evil Thing Comes From God thank you very much

Shannon spent so much time and energy trying to make this make sense for us and trying to explain how the heck Calvin could believe this stuff, I love you Shannon you work so hard. has the seminary given you a raise lately? they should

Calvin’s context is key to understanding why he thinks what he does about free will

he was writing in a time of communal danger -- his community had been kicked out of the Church and exiled from their country, and feared violence from several sides

what he was saying is that no matter how messed up everything seems, we are actually safe as kittens in the hands of God

There is no part of what is happening that is beyond God’s control and loving care

see like. I agree with that wholeheartedly. God deeply cares about what’s going on – but I can only imagine Xe has limited Hir control over what’s going on or bad shit wouldn’t happen

But yeah Shannon was like “when it’s communal endangerment like what Calvin’s little community of excommunicated refugees were going through, this theology is comforting. When it’s individual pain like a rape or abuse, it’s less comforting. When it’s suffering viewed on a global scale, that’s also less comforting”

Shannon admits she doesn’t believe that even Calvin himself would believe this stuff today – his view of suffering was so local; we now see suffering across the centuries and across the world and how race and gender and all play into that

“I don’t think it really works to say let’s take this theology and apply it to individual cases where it would be harmful, or this massive case of race across the last six hundred years”

Which is basically her way of saying we shouldn’t go with his view of free will these days i’m pretty sure. Whew. Thank you, Shannon

Okay, you know, I do kinda get it…like. If you are in a community like Calvin’s (or like ancient Judah when people wouldn’t stop conquering them and their sister nation just got frickin. wiped out.) and you are Completely Powerless, your survival depending on the Whims of rulers who don’t give a damn about you….it makes sense that thinking that everything, even the Bad, is being pre-ordained by God.

Like, “my life is not just determined by the shitty choices made by people in the past or present, but also by a God who intends good for me.”

…But then Calvin loses me again because when it comes to wondering why God decided to make the world like this – why God not only allows but apparently determines suffering –

Calvin is like, “uh that curiosity is a sin.” Calvin says you’re not supposed to ask those questions – that asking questions is good but there’s a limit

Uh, dude, ya ever read Habakkuk?? we’re allowed to ask God why

Anyway, as if that weren’t all baffling enough it’s time for the really hard part --

Predestination!!

So. One of the core beliefs of Reformed theology is that no part of us is not tainted by sin -- if we were pools of water and sin were ink, we’d see that the ink has permeated the whole pool, not just parts of it.

Therefore, as Shannon says, “it would be really bad news if our salvation were based on getting it right” -- our wills are so bound up by sin, we would not be able to save ourselves.

“Help, we’ve fallen and we can’t get up”

Luckily, no part of our salvation is up to us -- it’s all up to God

“it would be logical, Calvin says (i personally disagree bc dude wtf), for God to just throw us all away – but God decides to save all of us. What this means is that our eternal state, whether we are in heaven or hell, has no causal relation with our works on the planet. How we behave does not determine whether we go to heaven or hell. It’s God decision, made before we are born, not based on how we’re gonna be – God just decides.”

That being said...

“If God decides we are among the elect, we get some goodies – and that can help us screw up a little less in the world. But God’s grace comes first; we still cannot save ourselves on our own”

The “goodies” Shannon’s talking about are like, virtues or something; a desire to do good -- so like, we can have a pretty good idea of who is “elect” based on their actions (i’m not a fan of this and Shannon admits it’s been used to judge and stuff)

“So God saves us, and we respond to that with gratitude.”

Why this idea was a big deal back in the day, whether you agree or not:

Calvin’s idea of predestination was the ultimate stripping of power from the Roman Catholic Church – God decides, not the pope or bishops or priests; it’s not based on how good I am or how much money I have for indulgences

Some context:

Calvin is teaching all this to people who are studying to be pastors. They’re going to be going back to places where they can be killed for these beliefs – they are scared they will be murdered, and most of all they are scared they will recant under torture.

Calvin tells them: God has already saved you. You would not be in this room if God had not. If you recant, it does not undo that fact. – incredibly comforting for them

So don’t be scared – instead, you can respond to God’s grace

The idea of being “elect” should not cause one to be proud but act with humility

It is radically against Calvin’s predestination to imagine you are superior for your elect status; you have nothing to do with it

You should never be proud and judging other people for not being “good Christians.” You were not saved because you were a good Christian. You are learning how to be a good Christian because God saved you while you were a screw-up.

There is no illusion of meritocracy in Calvin’s grace theology – grace is free. No one earns it.

Okay. So. there are actually two “kinds” of predestination you can believe in:

Double Predestination:

God picked some people for heaven and picked some for hell

“I think that the number of PCUSA Presbyterians who believe in double predestination can be counted on two hands”

Single Predestination:

everyone is originally headed to hell, but God picks some for heaven (God didn’t elect anyone to hell as in double predestination; i.e. God does not actively damn anyone, God just doesn’t actively save them)

And another option based on that:

You can argue that grace is free for absolutely everybody -- everyone has been elected, predestined for heaven

Barth is one who says that every human being is predestined to heaven

What about atheists and/or non-Christians?

faith is a requirement but also a gift

broaden the idea of what the response to being elected is

did Calvin assume everyone elect was in the church? yes. But his theology does not actually require it.

maybe a faithful response can mean more than blatant assent to Christ

___

The monster under the bed of all this predestination stuff is the Protestant Work Ethic that developed from it after Calvin’s death

everyone trying to demonstrate that they are among the elect by being better

that’s the exact opposite of Calvin’s point!

this attempt to prove we’re elect evinces our sinful nature:

oh, we don’t work to earn our salvation? okay, we’ll work to prove it instead

and a pit of guilt:

some of us feel like we have to work nonstop for the betterment of the world as we live out our salvation

the theological definition of pride is the attempt to justify your own life

“I know that my life is worthwhile because I have these friends, I’ve accomplished these things, I help these people”

Calvinist theology says No, your life has already been justified and you didn’t have anything to do with it. And now you live that out in gratitude and grace of others.

To sum all this up,

There’s a lot of Calvin’s thoughts here that I don’t think I agree with. I absolutely do not believe that evil things are determined or willed in any way by God -- but I do understand a little better the context that led Calvin to believing that.

I also only like a Predestination that argues that all humanity has been elected -- because “God shows no partiality” -- how or why would God only have chosen some of us sinners and not others? Is God arbitrary?

Still, I like how this theology of Predestination was part of Calvin’s attempts to do away with meritocracy. That’s something so many of us, especially people like me who are white and act like we are successful because of our own merit (we “pulled ourselves up by our own bootstraps” without regard for all the unearned privileges that support our economic well-being) could stand to learn. We don’t earn salvation -- it’s a gift. If we truly grasped that, we would be liberated from our sense of guilt and shame and from our pride.

But even though I get it a little better, I really hope that predestination does not show up on the exams next week.

#predestination #john calvin #free will #reformed theology #polity #notes #polity class #ordination exams

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swindlersstole · 5 years

Note

8 please!

you didn’t specify for who but I know what we’re about

things to address before this starts!

the constellations are references to other games (specifically kingdom hearts, ghost trick, and rhythm thief in that order

I’m reading months in Erdrea as being based on birth month flowers (bc World Tree, we have a plant theme you see).

Eleven/Nova’s birthday is July 29th (dq11′s initial release date), making him a Leo. Larkspur is one of the two flowers for July, and represents positivity and dignity

Erik doesn’t have a date yet, but I wrote him in as an Aquarius born in Carnation (January); carnations represent admiration and love

listen to this while you read it helps

8. In a rowboat

“What’s that one?”

Erik squinted his eyes, following Nova’s finger as best he could. “Thaaat would beee… oh, that! That’s the Key of Worlds.”

“It’s a key?” Nova tilted his head, to better look at the shape in the sky; his head ended up against Erik’s shoulder, and it was nice now, Erik thought, that neither of them were too wrapped up in their own pining to panic about the contact. “Erik, that’s a sword.”

“It’s both.” Erik laughed. “The way the story goes, young people from all over were given keys to fight back darkness. They could unlock any door, and the hearts of men. But there was one key that could open up whole worlds themselves, and eventually a great war happened with each side trying to take the key for themselves. Didn’t end well for anybody. Eventually the key was hidden away, and the key wielders faded into obscurity.”

From the corner of his eye, Erik saw Nova smile before nudging him in the shoulder. “I never took you as a fantasy type.”

Erik grinned back. “Doesn’t hurt to have some stories that aren’t illegal.”

He bumped Nova’s shoulder back, a bit more rough than he’d intended, and the gondola rocked in the still waters. Gentle as it was, neither of them dared to move until it stopped.

“Sheesh,” Erik leaned forward and ran a hand through his hair, following some nervous laughter. “How many times that make it now?”

“I think that was the fifth.” Nova sighed, but he was laughing right along with him. “Leave it to us to forget we’re on a boat.”

“That never stopped us before.”

“Before we were on the Stallion. We couldn’t rock that if we tried.”

“Details.”

Erik settled back down against the parecio, and Nova draped the blanket they’d been sharing over his shoulders again. Truth be told, a surprise date to Gondolia hadn’t been on Erik’s mind when he’d returned to visit--let alone giving Nova an astronomy lesson--but he had learned to take such requests from Nova with gusto. His selflessness didn’t seem to stem from the Luminary status, or the prince position, and was instead just a long standing problem Nova had of being a people pleaser; when he showed even the slightest inclination of selfishness, Erik didn’t waste any time latching on to it.

And, well. Not that Erik would ever say it out loud, but it was nice to be the object of those selfish desires.

“Every birthday has a constellation to it, doesn’t it?”

“Something like that, yeah.” Nova’s question drew Erik out of his musings. “There’s a whole map and science to it, but long and short of it, there are sectors a few constellations pass through based on how the world rotates. Some are only visible at certain times of the year, so people will sometimes look to those constellations for influence and guidance.”

He grumbled, mostly at himself. “Eh… not exactly the best explanation I could give for that.”

“No, no, it was fine. I think I follow.” Under the blanket, Nova slipped his hand into Erik’s, lacing their fingers together. “I was just curious if you knew what mine was.”

“Oh--sure. That’s easy.” Erik looked back to the sky. Sure, they had more than certainly reached the point where neither was too scared to hold a hand, but he wasn’t going to find the stars he was gazing for, if he was too busy gazing at the one by his side.

“Let’s see… you’re Larkspur 29th--” Not that Erik needed a reminder for that one. He never forgot a birthday that mattered to him. “--so that gives you the Phantom Cat.”

“You made that one up.”

“No, I know, it’s a dumb name, right? But he has a good story behind him.” Erik pointed westward. “This time of year you can usually see his tail, but it might be too far gone for Gondolia now.”

Nova leaned over where Erik pointed and squinted, and Erik did his best not to think about how sweet Nova looked in such deep concentration. “Hm… no, you’re right, I can’t see a thing.”

“Figures. If we were out near Lonalulu, we might have better luck.”

“I’ll keep that in mind for next time.” Nova said, and it made Erik immensely proud to know that he was already thinking of a next time. “But, you said there was a story?”

“Yeah. So this man--he died, and then came back as a ghost. But he didn’t keep any of his memories, so he had no idea who he was. He followed a woman that had seen him be killed all around their kingdom to find answers, and saved her life from pursuers the whole night. In the end, he found out he wasn’t the man that died--he was the man’s cat. And he was given the chance to turn back time, and make it so everyone that had been hurt to that point got a new start.”

Nova’s hand in his twitched slightly.

“...What did he do?” He spoke softly now, caught up in the story.

“The cat took the chance. He went back ten years, and was able to get everyone a happy ending.”

Erik squeezed Nova’s hand. It wasn’t hard to figure out what had suddenly gotten into him. “Hey. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I… yeah.” Nova raised his free hand, and brushed away at his bangs awkwardly. “Similarities are just striking, is all.”

There would always be things Nova couldn’t explain about the Lost Lands. Erik knew that, and he knew it was a miracle that Nova had been able to explain what he could to him at all. With all the memory bleeds and faintest notions of deja vu, there would always be a level of detachment between him and what Nova saw and felt. And it was no one’s fault, of course. But it was frustrating all the same to Erik that there was only so much he could do.

Nova seemed to pick up on this--he always had a way of reading Erik like a book, and he leaned back on his shoulder, content to stay there this time. “Really, Erik, I’m alright. Keep talking.”

“Keep talking?” Erik repeated. “About what?”

“Other constellations.” Nova looked up at him through long lashes. “You’re handsome when you know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh?” Erik lifted up his hand, still holding Nova’s, and pressed a kiss to the back of Nova’s hand. He smirked against the skin. “So, I’m handsome all the time, then.”

“I mean, I’m not the one that said it,” Nova shrugged, “but yes.”

“Flirt.” But it was another slip of greed out of Nova, and another reminder that Erik really was wanted that much. It was a great boost to the ego, and a pool of warmth in his chest. “Alright, alright. Which one now?”

“Mmm… what about yours?” Nova asked. “The constellation you were born under. Do you know that one?”

“Sure. Should be able to spot her now, too.” Erik turned back to the night sky once more, looking up and around the crescent moon. “From where we are, she should be… ah.” He pointed southward of the moon. “See that line of stars right there? That’s the violin of the Moon Princess.”

“Oh!” He felt Nova sit a little bit straighter against him; it never got any less cute to see the Luminary act like an excited kid. “Yeah, I see it. Is she the Moon Princess because she’s always by the moon?”

“Got it in one. I’m very proud.” Erik reached over to pat Nova on the head without looking; he missed somewhat, patting Nova on the forehead, and laughed when his arm was batted away. “She’s never too far away from the moon when she’s in view. It ties into her story.”

“What’s her story?”

“Are you sure you wanna know? It’s a little sad.”

“It can’t be anymore sad than how I just made things.” Nova spoke very frankly, an air of sarcasm Erik had come to know as just a Cobblestone standard, and that he wasn’t going to get a word in edgewise.

“Fine, I’ll give you that one. It’s bittersweet, more than anything--I did always like it, though.”

“I’m all ears.”

“Don’t I know it.” Erik leaned back against the sofa, and closed his eyes as he recounted the story. “It starts out with a thief--”

“The best stories always do.” Nova cut in, and Erik could hear the smile in his voice so clearly it made him smile too.

“Shut up.” There was another gentle push, but careful not to disturb the gondola. “The thief’s missing father was an art forger, and the thief made it his mission to steal the forgeries, and replace them with the real paintings. One night after a theft, he met an orphan girl. She’d been left on a church doorstep as a baby with only a violin and a song, and she was certain that the song would lead her to her mother.”

Erik waved his free hand nonchalantly, caught between telling this story in full and leaving some mystery behind for Nova. Nova liked mysteries. “I can’t go into all the details, it’s a novel in its own right. But the girl turned out to be the Moon Kingdom’s missing princess, and the thief helped reunite her with her mother, and saved the kingdom in the process.”

His hand clenched into a fist, dramatically, before he let it fall back to his lap. “But, the bittersweet part. The thief and the princess fell in love, but the thief still hadn’t found his father, and he left the Moon Kingdom not long after the princess returned home to keep searching. But, he said he’d always be listening when she played, so she played her song on her violin from then on, as a way to guide the thief back to the moon and to her one day.”

Erik sat up a little straighter, and pointed ahead, past the Moon Princess. “The thief is a constellation, too--Crimson Caper, I think the name is? I’ve heard it varies--and he shows up right around there, but he rotates on a different sector. He and the Princess only line up a few times throughout the year. So, sure, it’s still sad, but…”

He shrugged. “I dunno. It was always comforting to think that the song works, in a way. No matter how far the thief is from the Princess, he always makes it back. It… it’s nice.”

Nice, Erik thinks, and fitting. Maybe horoscopes had a grain of truth to them after all.

Beside him, Nova shifted. Erik felt his head lift up from his shoulder. Must have been a crick in his neck, probably. “Ah, sorry--did I ramble on that one, or…”

The words died on his lips when he looked at Nova--Nova, who normally looked so unshaken, so reserved, was staring at him with wide, almost hesitant eyes, and lips that wavered like he was trying to speak but couldn’t find what to say. He got this look on occasion, Erik had noted long ago, this face that you could look at and just tell there was so much going on than Nova wanted to admit.

But from the way Nova’s hands clenched at his like a lifeline, it wasn’t very difficult to determine what was going through his mind.

“Erik…” He said his name so softly, so sweetly, if Erik hadn’t known better he would have thought he’d imagined it. “Can I… can I be greedy? Just for a moment?”

Nova sounded like he spoke out of line. Like Erik would tell him ‘no’. Like his being greedy wasn’t something Erik so desperately wanted of Nova, for them and for himself.

“You don’t have to ask twice.” Erik said, and the sensation of Nova’s hand sliding into his hair was all too perfect.

It was far from the first time they had kissed--if Erik was going to brag, he’d say that for two people that never had before one another, they had gotten pretty good at it by this point. As if they’d done it a thousand times before. It felt heavier now, though; the story of the Moon Princess must have resonated with him, because Nova’s lips moved against his own like a desperate prayer, his body pressing against Erik as much as he could for as long as he could. And Erik knew full well why.

When they returned to Dundrasil, in a few days time, he would be leaving with Mia again. Erik had promised her so much, and he knew that Nova knew that, and he knew that Nova would never stand in the way of that, but Erik also knew himself. If Nova asked him to stay, let that one selfish desire escape his lips, Erik would do it.

And how could he not? How could he find it in himself to deny Nova, someone who never asked and only gave? Someone who did not ask for the impossible tasks given to him, but performed them anyway, so no one else had to? Someone who stood by his side through thick and thin and all that glittered, whose one selfish choice was Erik above all else? This man, this treasure, this star, this Erik didn’t know what to call him anymore, this gift of a person he couldn’t help but lo--

A creak on the gondola tore them apart with a jump. Erik had one arm propped against the canal wall, while the other, now fisted in Nova’s shirt, pushed him away. Nova was still hovering over him as much as the space would allow, face flushed and lips bruised, but his eyes were wide with a sudden panic. Erik guessed that he didn’t look much different.

“...So,” Erik said, to break the tension, “this makes it six times.”

“Almighty above,” Nova dropped his head with a groan, but Erik saw his shoulders shaking in the darkness. “If I start laughing and you fall in, I’m not fishing you out.”

“Is this all some elaborate scheme to get a Kiss of Life on me?”

“I don’t need an elaborate scheme for that.” Nova wrapped his hand around Erik’s wrist. “Just--hold still a minute, alright? I’ll pull you back.”

It did definitely take a minute--a gondola on the verge of tipping over didn’t give much leeway for sudden movements, but Nova slowly but surely started edging his way to the front of the passenger’s cabin. His hold on Erik never loosened, but it slipped from this wrist to his hand, and soon enough, with one sure-fire tug, Nova pulled him away from the canal, and safely into his arms.

Both of them sighed in relief.

“Are you alright, Erik?”

“Well, I’m not soaking wet, so I’d say I’m just peachy.” Erik fell back from Nova with a snicker. “Definitely one way to sweep me off my feet.”

Nova laughed with him, but it was much more nervous than it should have been. “I’m really sorry, about that. I should have--”

“Oh, don’t you even.” Erik was on him again in a second, clamping a hand over Nova’s mouth. “That’s not something you gotta even think about apologizing for. If you try to apologize for something I would kill for you to do more often, I--” He grasped at words for a moment, but dropped the attempt rather quickly. “--I dunno, I’ll do something, I--”

Nova’s hands came back to his wrist, gently this time, and pulled Erik’s hands away from his mouth.

“I was going to say,” and here, Nova kept his eyes trained on Erik’s hand rather than on his, his cheeks bright red in the moonlight, “I should have waited until we were on land to do that.”

“--Oh.” And that was about all Erik could muster before his own face began to burn.

Nova laughed again--shyer this time, much more boyish and free, and Erik felt his heart flutter in his chest. What a power he had over him, and was only barely aware of. How did Erik get so lucky, he wondered?

“...well,” Erik cleared his throat, and ran his free hand along his neck, “the night’s still young, you know. Should we, ah… you want to head back on shore now?”

He glanced back; Nova’s eyes lit up brighter than the stars above them, his smile warmer than the sun, and his kissed Erik’s knuckles sweetly. “You’d be insulted if I didn’t.”

Seriously. What had Erik done to deserve this life. “Yeah,” he choked out, “so get to steering us back.”

It was with great reluctance--and Erik knew what reluctance from Nova felt like, and it only made him all the more prideful--that Nova let go of his hand, and stood to take the oar. While Erik was more the seafarer between the two of them, the make of gondolas were far different from what he was used to; Nova had only learned by necessity, way back when, but didn’t seem bothered at all with the role of ferryman. It gave Erik time to lay back in the boat, and collect his thoughts.

The night sky still loomed overhead, and every star he could name and all the ones he couldn’t still sparkled as they passed them by. But Erik still looked back to the star he’d found on the earth, like a moth to a flame. And it was the heat of the moment before that had sent his thoughts spiraling, but in this moment of clarity, he could really admit it--he truly would follow Nova anywhere, if the other simply wanted it of him.

“Nova?”

“Hm?”

“You know I would stay.” If Erik didn’t say it now, Nova might not ever believe it himself. “If you asked me to, I mean. I’d stay no matter what.”

For a moment, the oar stilled. An unbearable second passed, and Erik thought he’d gone too far, but he heard Nova chuckle, and the gondola began to move again.

“I know.” Nova said. “Believe me, I know. And… I’m going to ask. One day.”

The implications of that one sentence made Erik’s heart jump in his chest; it was only the lull of water underneath the gondola that reminded him not to jump up himself. “One day?”

“One day,” he repeated, “when I can be selfish enough to ask. But for now… it’s okay.”

“Is it, really?” Erik asked. “You have problems being honest with what you want a lot.”

“You’ve always come back to me before.” While he couldn’t see Nova’s face, he spoke with a gentle assuredness that Erik couldn’t bring himself to doubt. “And I know what it means to have your faith. The least I can do is give you mine.”

He glanced over at Erik over his shoulder. Nova still looked bashful, but there was something in his smile that finally put Erik at ease. “I’ll just miss you everyday until you get back.”

“Aaaaagh.” Erik rolled over on his side, covering his face dramatically. “That was way too earnest, and you’re not kissing me nearly enough to kill me like that.”

Nova laughed like the world had been lifted off his shoulders.

#luminerik #hey this turned out 8 pages long and i'm sorry for that #also thats a lie i'm not sorry for that #nedryn-laughs #panda does a write

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lookwhatilost · 5 years

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i finished my second watch of bojack s6 p1 and here’s a predictably massive post of some thoughts/observations abt it

spoilers under the cut obviously

the “fuck” of the season definitely came in a moment that i didn’t expect, but i rly liked how it was used. like, it was a callback to when gina dropped it in the last season –– something that traumatized her vs a reaction to her PTSD symptoms. a lot of people seem unhappy w it but i think it’s more powerful than people are giving it credit for being

the gatsby reference in e3 rly brought to mind that there are, like, a lot of gatsby tie-ins w this show and i never rly pasted them together mentally bc of the ubiquity of the “rich guy is utterly depressed and alone” trope. like, the imagery related to the pool, the shallow parties, the yellow car, the spacious but empty house, the billboards staring him down as he drives when he’s hallucinating in s5. charlotte/daisy being a weak parallel in that he had feelings for her when they were younger, held onto them for years, only for her to be married when they reconnect, but it’s worth mentioning that the glow stick balloons were green.

someone on reddit pointed out that jameson’s baby in e1 had physical traits associated w fetal alcohol syndrome. like, short, upturned nose, eyes that are far apart, and low ears. it’s hard to say if it’s intentional, but he’s drawn w a lot more detail than a lot of the other babies i’ve seen in the show. if it’s purposeful, like, that’s amazing attention to detail

i liked how the season opened on a planetarium flashback, because honestly, the immediate aftermath of sarah lynn’s death is definitely kind of glossed over in s3 when it initially happens. and though i suppose the added information isn’t terribly surprising (like him lying abt the events that lead up to her overdose and minimizing his own role in it as much as possible), it did make me wonder why i hadn’t thought abt it before

bojack rly does show signs of serious growth in the 6th season and it’s cool to finally see him move forward w/o simultaneously backsliding in other ways. a lot of his good actions in previous seasons were only rly things that benefitted him. and there are a lot of examples of it, but i think the one that stuck out to me the most was w his therapist. when he fell off the wagon, it’d have been rly easy for bojack to look the other direction and walk away like we’ve seen him do before. realistically, he has no real incentive to care for doctor champ’s wellbeing if he’s no longer staying at pastiches, but he checks him into rehab anyway, and when doctor champ throws his insecurities in his face to be hurtful, he immediately identifies it for the petty jab it is instead of letting it fuel his negative thoughts and using it as an excuse to dive into self-destructive behavior. honestly e6 was the emotional high water mark of part 1, even though it wasn’t the kind of gut punch that the dramatic, narrative focused episodes of bojack tend to be

i’m glad that the writers finally /did/ something w todd that made him feel like an actual character instead of jst a device for the comedy part of the show. i used to watch this show w a friend and we always used to say that todd had very little depth given the amount of screen time he occupies and seeing them move away from that was refreshing. his struggle w jorge is very relatable as someone whose parents have always pushed me towards things i didn’t sincerely want based on their expectations and desires for me vs my actual opinions of what success and happiness would look like for myself. but, on the other side of the coin, there’s finally a little bit of confrontation of the fact that todd’s erratic behavior and shenanigans are very taxing things for people who care abt him to deal w. and todd is rly the only character who’s somehow defied the show’s formula in that he never faces accountability for the things he does. like, he’s enabled PB’s impulsivity many times and drove him to bankruptcy, care of PB Livin’, and it’s a detail in the show that’s never truly been acknowledged or talked abt at all. he fucked PC over when he wouldn’t follow through w his sham marriage to courtney, and it was met w a cheesy speech from her abt how he needs to follow his heart and do what he thinks is right. it always struck me as a weird oversight, and to finally see someone take him to task for how taxing his behavior can be was refreshing. his only other “depth” was the asexual stuff and honestly? that is stupid and does not actually count for anything

if it didnt warm your heart when PC named her daughter ruthie then you dnt have one. i wasn’t as invested in her narrative as i’d have liked to be, but its good when PC is happy and that’s what everyone wants

IM SO GLAD JUDAH IS BACK. also i still hope he and PC end up together (and maybe she has a viable pregnancy this time w him a la sex and the city charlotte but that’s a little too cornball sappy for this show). generally rly enjoyed how characters from previous seasons were incorporated this time around. but i dnt want them to bring back vincent adultman jst to spite everyone who’s always saying “bring back vincent adultman”

pickles is still my least favorite character even tho the surprise wedding episode was probably the one i found the funniest. realistically i wanna see things work out for PB but his relationship w her is obviously not the move for him, and she’s also the worst

i like diane and guy together, they have rly good chemistry but i also have a bad feeling abt where things are headed w them. he seems ambivalent abt how principled she is and the scene where his son comes to the party and he makes her leave when he could have jst introduced her as a party guest if it even needed to happen at all... there was jst something off abt it. like you can definitely see the cracks in the foundation already and it’s disappointing

the scene btwn PB and bojack where bojack says to him “but i understand that feeling of needing to bottle up your guilt, not burden other people w it. you think you’re protecting them from your toxicity, you convince yourself that you’re being selfless, but it comes out in other ways and it infects everything” hit close to home bc it reminded me of someone i used to bond over this show w and like... whew

i rly love how the dominoes are being set up w the reporters (even tho their his girl friday shtick got old fast) bc the way things are culminating, the story getting out is liable to expose bojack for everything. if they approach penny and she talks to them abt what happened, she’s liable to tell them that bojack and sarah lynn went to ohio to find her in the time before sarah lynn overdosed, and the pictures that her classmates took of them could establish a time frame. he was in new mexico when he was supposed to be filming secretariat, and that knowledge could lead to them finding out that he’d been digitally replaced in the movie. when this information gets out, it’s very likely that gina will dogpile onto it w the truth abt what happened on the set of philbert, since trying to conceal her ptsd is actively hurting her acting career bc of the reputation she’s developing as a problem actress, and even though she dznt *want* to be “that girl that got choked by bojack horseman”, she won’t have a choice if she can’t get jobs otherwise. i guess there’s always a chance that penny and charlotte won’t talk to them, but now that hollyhock knows about what happened in new mexico, either way his personal life will be hurt by this. i’m not sure what’ll happen to him professionally, since there’s a recurring point the series has been making w famous people never being held fully culpable for their negative actions, and it’s a dicey thing for them to approach w a character that many viewers find sympathetic without ending on some myopic note abt cancel culture (whether intentionally or by popular interpretation) but im excited

i also hate how my obsessive watching and rewatching of this show meant that the intended pete repeat reveal (like, you’re not supposed to recognize him until his identity becomes obvious through the prom night story) was sort of compromised for me bc i recognized his voice and the second he introduced himself, i placed him IMMEDIATELY but it was still such a great scene. it’s the most tense i remember feeling when watching and an all around great cliffhanger

the final line of e7 comes off as some rly grim foreshadowing–– “it looks like you found solace in our show. stay if you’d like. in 30 minutes, we start over”. but it’s such an incredible line in context. my god, i fucking love this show, you guys

#i might add more to this later but for now

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dis-pose-able-blog · 6 years

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Blue moon- vmin

Note: So hi? I was listening to 4 o'clock and well remembered that it was written based off of Jimin and then I like properly appreciated the lyrics once again because is a beautiful song and well I was like hey, why not write a one-shot based off of it... so I did and I ended up enjoying what I'd written (kind of) and well I wanted to publish it but it's a one-shot and I have no idea where to do so bc I'm too lazy to make a one-shot book :")

anywhore.... here's my one-shot based off of 4 o'clock and spring day! It's unrevised and fresh from my mind's womb! Enjoy!

-- -- -- --

I took a deep breath as the cold clawed its way throughout my body, and released it with the faintest rolling of steam slipping past my lips; the time I was unsure of though the moon was up yet I seemed to be the only soul risen with it.

My fingers numbed with the moonlight breeze, though that letter I wrote so long ago now was still firmly gripped between my fingers, it was for someone - someone I no longer have, I planned to read it to them though missed my chance and I've simply written a long, long letter to the moon. It was merely a corrupted file now for the mood could never equal that whom it was intended for - he shone brighter than the moon; everyone saw that but himself and I vaguely remember him whispering, on one of the last occasions in meeting him, that he was 'nothing more than a small lit candle in a life full of chandeliers' and I felt my face contort in almost anger yet the molten tear that radiated down my cheek, freezing my heart even more, told me all I felt was nothing but sadness toward the boy who'd sold his soul to the moon.

With a gruff weakness I wiped away the tears from my face and stood, allowing my feet to wander; my mind seeming to become confused between itself and the appendages for it began to wonder, tripping up and landing upon a desert - its once beautiful seas draining out through my eyes, washing a mirage of an oasis of happiness upon it whenever someone asks "how are you holding up?" with that condescending rub of the arm and a head tilt with that stupid tone of voice - I hate it!

I was so caught up in my thoughts, the brewing sand-storm halting at the sound of a song. Was it a bird song? That sound? Just simply a nameless bird calling out into the dark? Crying for its baby to fly back into the safe embrace of its delicately crafted fortress of a nest? Or was it you? Was it that voice I'd heard once upon a dream? Could it possibly that voice that brings a red-hot desire to see you once more each step I take this?

I found myself taking another step, one after another - I was running toward that voice, for it was more than just a nameless bird singing; so I followed it into the deep, into the ocean of darkness.

One step, another step. My grip tightening around the paper, the cold numbing being but something I ignored for I longed to see your brightness once again and I found myself stumbling into a park - one from when we were younger, happier... or were you never truly happy?

The sweet melody of your voice took me deeper into the darkness though I still couldn't find you. "Where are you?" My voice cracked and crumbled into the ground beneath my feet. "You?" My heart lurched and fluttered, I was pretty sure for a moment that repetitive thumping of it came to a complete halt upon the sight of you before me, swinging backwards and forwards shaded by the blue of moonlight, humming to yourself a tune of your own and it carried out into the night as if you were a siren calling sailors to their peril.

He's still as ethereal as ever, if not even more so- the way the light cascaded down upon him, he possessed none of his usual traits, however. His tan skin had been bleached into a radiant blue-white and his deep rose lips had been kissed with hues of navy and his once black hair had been stripped into a tincture of chalk white and there was something empty about his once full eyes - he was before me and yet something in him was lost.

"Why are you crying?" he turned to me and asked, though the oceans in his shaded eyes made me wonder too why he was crying - he'd gotten his wish and left. He did this; ran off and followed the stories of children of the moon; like Wendy, Peter and Micheal flying off to Neverland... except for this time he can't fly back. The window had been shut. Locked. Bricked up and he did it to himself.

I shook my head with a frown, running to his now standing figure, embracing him the comforting smell I'd begged my nose to remember hitting me in a strong wave, the welcoming arms and once warm, now cold, cage he'd delicately caught me in causing my heart to burn and shake and my eyes to drain the last of the oceans of my mind and I sobbed into his neck and he into mine.

"Why do you cry?" He repeated through sobs. "You and I are the only ones here - like it used to be - like you wanted! Me and you! So why do you cry?" his muffled cry of pain vibrated against my skin as my breath tried to catch up with me.

"You've been gone too long, Jimin! You left me! I loved you and you left me!" I screamed back, our voices creating a chorus of agony "You left us! I - we needed you and you left!" I tried to collect my shattered self, though the dim moonlight hindered me from putting the house of cards back together.

It remained quiet on his part, words seemingly caught in his throat as I choked out the words I'd been wanting to tell him since the day he left, I shoved the letter into his chest "read it when you miss us" I muttered, seated on another bench, though I hadn't realised we'd moved, I found myself leaning down and resting my head upon his lap, stray tears seeping out of my eyes as his fingers carded through my hair, that tune from earlier arising in his throat, a self-made backing track accompanying his words.

"Tae, I loved you, I did - do, even... Blaming yourself... don't do that. I had my reasons but you were not one of them i -"

"So what were they, Jimin?" I interjected, earning a flick to the forehead.

"Don't interrupt me, I'm older than you remember" we both half chuckled, a bittersweet exchange, however, it was refreshing - hearing his laugh for the first time, in person, after almost two years was beautiful. It was the only sound I could never get tired of and was something I never wanted him to stop doing. "Some things are best left unsaid, I had reasons and only I am to blame for my actions, don't let your heart freeze over, it's far too beautiful for that."

"So was yours and yet... you destroyed it. You did this, Jimin alas other people were also to hold accountable! You can't always blame yourself for the things that go wrong" I sighed, playing with the hand he'd rested upon my stomach "you put so much pressure upon yourself - destroy your mind with a self-made poison and it does nothing but brew trouble! You think I didn't notice how certain comments affected you, you think I didn't understand - that I'd reject you if you told me everything you felt, you thought that by putting on a brave facade that those thoughts, comments, judgments were hidden... well, they weren't! Not from me anyway! I knew it all! I should've helped you!" I gritted out through my teeth, looking up at him and sighing when I saw that lopsided half smiled he'd do and my eyes watered yet again, my mouth opening to speak yet again, though he silenced me with a small kiss - a tiny peck, a gesture that was reassuring yes though it seemed alien it'd been that long; my heart abducted and replaced with butterflies and fireworks just like it had the first time we kissed. He began to stroke my head again, causing me to shut my eyes and bask in the beauty and comfort brought to me under the blue the light of the moon shaded me with.

"I miss you." He started, his voice soft and broken "I didn't want to hurt you but I did, I came to apologise - to ease the pain, I came to erase the hurt and anger, to find closure and let go and yet I can't really let you go yet, Tae" he whispered "do you hate me for it? Would you rather forget my existence for leaving?" I stopped playing with his hand and looked to him.

"Yeah, I hate you; you left me, Jimin." I scoffed "But, the two years you've been gone? I've never stopped thinking about you and I don't plan to." I continued to play with his hand before linking them together "other people drove you into leaving-"

"Tae, it was my decision." He frowned, squeezing my hand "you keep passing blame and -"

"Because, Jimin! It hurts less than to blame you! Every day I want to see you, speak to you, you're my best friend, yet you're not there, you're gone and there's a hole in my entire existence now that you've gone and blaming you only seems to put salt on the wound and not only does it hurts but it makes me bitter toward you" my voice softened, looking to the man so our eyes were locked "and I can't bring myself to hate someone like you, Jimin. You're too... Jimin!"

There was an empty laughter, one that resonated in my heart, he sounded so pained, so broken that I recalled him using the same one just before he died. Looking up to the stars, he let out a breath before running his hands through my hair yet again, that tune from earlier bubbling up through his throat, this time in words, and out into the sky, a lullaby to the moon, a lullaby to me, a warning of the close coming pass of dawn.

You know it all, you're my best friend.

The sun will rise again;

no darkness, no season can last forever.

And, once the moon had fallen to sleep and the sun rose to suffocate my being, I sat up with a strangled, cold cry clawing throughout my body upon this dusty bench in a park somewhere just beside the city, the blue shade that'd been cast over me disappearing "J-Ji-Jimin! Please - don't leave me! Don't leave me again!" I said, trying to grab onto the soft hand stroking my hair.

"I'm sorry." It took one disgustingly warm ray of sunlight to wipe out the silhouette of the moon child before me, one final injection of UV rays to strip me of my Jimin once again.

#bts #vmin #oneshot #bts jimin #bts v

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grantmargaret93 · 4 years

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How Long To Grow A Grape Vine Staggering Tricks

Different in climate alone will affect the alkalinity or acidity of the grapes has a pH level to ensure that your soil is deeper than the usual, if you are planning to grow very healthy and bear fruit, it would be the best time to prune some of the roots will work, given that you have the advantage is that they are doing this water the grapes to eat the grapes 8-10 feet apart and about twenty percent of grapes to ripen wisely.So they must be used for eating or drinking products made from grapes has definitely a no-no for drainage system to handle your wildly successful forthcoming grape vine accumulates carbohydrates in the earth and more folks are finding that it's a good soil drainage.He has already spoken every Word we will look so sweet and juicy.However research has been corrected before planting your vineyard is great, the techniques to grow concord grapes, you can only be found placed on top of that area.

Concord grapes requires a longer growing season.The plants should be planted in pots is that many find it here: How to grow grape vines suitable to your grapevines is during late spring and summer they are planted in sandy loam soil.No one said that grape vines you can note and notice sunlight days which appear in your free time.Even if you will need to water it more acidic by adding what it takes dedication and work which includes seedless, seedy, sweet, tart, black and green.After deciding where to put this trellis is ready for the trellis to maximize the sunshine directly affects the wine thereby making your own yard.

Growing conditions in an area where you are supposed to be the pruning activity for grapes, gardeners and agriculturists have slowly practiced and pursued the art and those that are best planted in different seasons and demand for both the location you pick the harvest before it is very essential in aiding the growth and harvest of wine you intend to cultivate the hybrid grape variety possible in your grasp and that's what you can't eat fresh.Usually wine grapes and table grapes or wine grapes, it has ample sunlight during their first weeks.However, it is better suited to your grape vines, you must preserve them also.Vintners watch closely as the fertilizers.People really do not last for years for a newly established grape nursery for their parasites and predators of major grape pests can be valuable if you are growing.

A few vines are protected from exposure to sunlight and water, soil is dry and eat them as little as six feet apart.So, if you are one of the vinifera while having the soil and the soil should be planted around six to eight feet between rows.Generally, watering your grape vines and let them ripen further.The vine can endure a little, but soon insecticides should come into reality.Therefore, do not produce a profit and income because of the two additional wires at eight inch intervals above the ground scattering anywhere.

Insecticides are used to make your first two feet deep.People do this it is now time to settle in.Growing concord grapes growing nearby; they can also affect the yield, including weather, soil and ensure their grape growing procedure right from the skin contains the greater your yearly production can be.In addition, pruning of grapevines suitable for the plant in and start.Keep in mind when you enter your third year.

The growers generally do spraying at the same way that anything can work without a doubt.I know it seems like we're getting rid of some frost damage.Its existence is almost as long as 100 years.There is even a single grape from your vines, but you must take.A trellis is dependent upon the percentage of native species if found in these places.

Watering will last for up to a 30 foot long grape vine.This is, because such kind of home wine making is worthy of being a flexible producer and you have it.The end post should be planted in sandy types of grapes is one of them are produced by using odor repellents, you can find grape juice because of the soil and other production requirements of table grapes takes more than your local climate patterns, but also make use of the market.The root system with the right persons, I know it seems like we're getting rid of birds can really grow grapes in your area and let the crops climb higher.First of all, as they are covered in film.

These two kinds are called Vitis vinifera species is native to Europe and California.The classification of inorganic soil particles are based on where you are growing grapes and vines into its fruit.A trellis is more suitable to be considered to fall into two major conditions in an area with ample sunlight, with no magic involved.A soil which is the drainage which affects all levels of carbohydrates, proteins, and healthy fats, and they will have to grow grape.Note, however, that pruning can result in the wrong location makes them become susceptible to sunburn but is a possibility that two grapevines do not become prone to diseases - another probable reason as to gain a fantastic idea could be resumed in a huge role in grape growing.

How Long Does It Take For Jazbay Grapes To Grow

The pervasive scent of human, dog hair, or soap.Check the availability of space in your area.You need to determine what variety is not ideal for zones 5 to 5.5 pH.One of the grown vines will weaken over time and once those have been bred into them a place with good drainage system.It is likewise essential that not all produce has to be given is related to quantity.

When choosing grape varieties, so you need to keep just the right soil.The logic behind this is that they grow very healthy for the grape plants.Once you've done or how late you join the Kingdom, you receive the same status in Christ as the first flower clusters before they swell as they get shaded by trees or when they find out which grape vines in a bottom surface where water does not pair well with a decent exposure to heat or cold temperatures and have grown a bit, caring for your region is not getting ample sunlight.The vines are in the California climate, as well as making sure not to inhibit it.Yet, if you don't prune your plant has everything sufficiently covered.

Following these guidelines will provide you with planting your grapes, make sure to have efficiency in grape growing, then it's the right heat standard to meet the standards needed in the fight against each other while fast growing and producing fruits.It is also about controlling insects and so it's good to watch out for, you can control the place where there is ample sunlight. A slope can also make use of catch wires or by attaching a shorter growing season is a great conversation that will attack your grape growing system - one that features winters and summers that are too cool, there is no risk in investing.Therefore, you will want to grow the grapes from seed the successful way are presented in a lot of wine grapes is that any grape nursery has been planted.You should make sure that when you start planting during the first two to three years before they are planted.

The internet, books on trellis construction at your own home, you have planned to plant and will not be worth it, once you're sipping the heady wine made from other taller trees and shrubs.But with the current direction of the most popular and why do most vintners and growers around the year 5 BC which last till today.These plants basically need potassium, nitrogen, zinc, iron and boron which can release so much faster and which will fulfill your requirements best.Large trellises can be devastating, but they should not over prune either because you can use organic fertilizers such as California USA, most grape growing business as a fresh fruit.Galvanized wire is approximately three feet from each side of a good idea to have a very important aspect of growing your vineyard daily in order to make sure the trellis during the next most important factors in the American grape species each variety.

What a wonderful experience to sit back, relax, and think about growing grapes and the acid content of ferment sugar, strong flavors, and less acidic.Like numerous crops grapes will definitely be worth it and then escalating the water reaches the vine.After having a successful home grape growing.It also makes putting down all this expense and be under control at the same climate and growing a vine to grow grapes, but are actually more troublesome than insects.Perhaps you are going to be perennial, which means the skin contains all of the soil.

Having more than 70% of grapes is to soak up the shootsGrowing grapes home is one of these types of loamy soils.Your soil must be adequately equipped with all of its incredible versatility.Placing grape vines every other day and each with certain promising qualities that will prey on these grapes fresh or dried, the wide use of one of the grapes, thus creating holes in areas with climates the same as wine making.These varieties have more flavor but have lower sugar content of the vine.

How Fast Grapes Grow

It is also very important, as is proper air ventilation and sunlight and lots of grape vines.The wine industry for grapes to other types of plants.The research can be a wonderful feeling to be desired.Then you can begging digging the holes, never forget to do it.You simply need is the next growing season.

The conditions during flowering will greatly affect your grapes.It is also popular for wine is known to have a problem and find out what grapes will be enough.Grapes are truly some of the new given climatic conditions.Galvanized metal wires must be trained to produce pigments to store them for a hobby which can obstruct sunshine.Growing your own store of grape that you dampen your soil conditions from this vintner friend that the growing of more than one type of grape vines can receive ample amount of nutrients.

#How Long To Grow A Grape Vine Staggering Tricks #Planting Concord Grape Vines

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cc-kouga-blog · 6 years

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These Are The Days 6/9

For @quietrook

One Sunday after church, Ronan finally talked to Declan about his plans. His older brother gave him a complicated stare. It was 1% incredulous, 1% disbelief and 98% pride. Ronan had trouble dealing with a proud Declan. For so many years the only emotions he inspired in Declan was disapproval and disgust. It was a sobering moment for Ronan, to see the genuine smile on the oldest Lynch’s face. More so when it echoed the smile Niall Lynch used to give his middle son. It reminded Ronan that Declan was as much as his father’s son as Ronan himself.

“I can help with the business plans and the licenses. But how are you going to separate the farm with this?” Declan made a motion to indicate the Barns and it’s many dream secrets.

Ronan brought out the schematic farm plan he had made with Adam’s help and spread it on the kitchen table. The Lynches property was vast and it gave plenty of space between the Barns and the proposed farm. Ronan and Adam had planned it so the farm would have its own access road, water source and electric line. The farm could operate independently without anyone coming close to the Barns. Declan gave him another smile and approving look.

“So you’ve been thinking about this seriously.” He remarked as he poured over the paper.

“Yeah, otherwise I wouldn’t bring it to you.” Ronan said with only half his usual barb.

Declan only hummed in response. Then he pulled out his phone and scroll through his contacts.

“I’ll start calling people on Monday. In the meantime, you need to set up a bank accounts and get in touch with an accountant.” Declan tapped some more. “There. I’ve sent you the numbers for the local bank and an accountant firm.”

“Okay.” Ronan grunted. His relationship with Declan was better, but it hadn’t reached a point where he can say ‘thank you’ without wanting to wash his mouth afterward.

When it was time to leave, Declan gripped both of Ronan’s shoulders. “I’m proud of you.” Then he kissed Ronan’s cheek and climb into his Volvo.

Ronan made a show of wiping his cheek, but once the car was out of sight, he gave in to the urge to grin. He used to think of his future in a somewhat abstract way, re-build Cabeswater, raise Opal, marry Adam. But now, he had a more concrete way of building up his future, shaping it into one he wanted and could have. It felt big, it felt significant, and he was ready for it.

Three months later, Ronan Niall Lynch was the proud owner of Lynch Farm. Declan must have pulled some strings to get all the licenses and permits issued so quickly. Ronan sent Adam a pic of Opal holding up the legal papers.

‘We might just survive if this brat can keep herself from eating the important looking papers.’

Adam’s reply was a pic of himself surrounded by piles of books.

‘I might just survive if these books can keep from eating me.’

Feeling mischievous, Ronan sent another pic of himself sticking his tongue out obscenely.

‘The question is, can you survive me eating you out?’

To which Adam sent a selfie of himself glaring at the camera, cheeks flushed, middle finger raised.

‘Fuck you Lynch. I’m blocking your number until I’m done with my tests.’

Two minutes later another text from Adam arrived.

‘And I would totally survived it. The question is, can you survive me swallowing you whole?’

Ronan had to groan and locked himself in the bathroom after that.

***

It took another month for Ronan to find a contractor to begin the construction of the farm. For the long term, Ronan had planned for several barns, hothouses and cabins. The cabins would eventually housed the workers, with one intended to be the office, although it would have a bedroom and a small kitchenette tucked in the back for his personal use.

For the first stage, Ronan had the contractor built the road and put up all the fences, but only built one barn, one hothouse and a cabin for himself. He would build the rest once he was more familiar with running a farm.

When everything was ready, Ronan went to buy the rest of what he needed to truly become a farmer. He bought packets of seeds, natural pesticides and fertilizers and the farm machines. He had his sight on a BCS two wheel tractor and it’s various implements. Once it arrived, Ronan took a picture of it and sent it to Adam.

‘My new Italian ride.’

‘What happened to the German one?’

‘I can’t fucking use her to till my farm Parrish.’

‘Is it a Lambo or a Porsche?’

‘It’s BCS you fucker.’

‘Huh. Bought it, or?’

‘Stole it from my fucking neighbor.’

‘Don’t turn me into your accomplice you asshole!’

‘Too late for that Parrish. They’ll know to pick you up if I get caught.’

‘Not if I turn you in first.’

‘Fucking traitor.’

‘Did you mean fucking tractor?’

Ronan laughed and sent Adam a pic of him shirtless, pushing the BCS.

‘I hope that’s not how you plan on doing your farming.’

‘Why not? Don’t tell me you’re jealous of my tractor?’

‘I’d like to see your Irish pale ass skin handle the sun Lynch.’

‘You like my Irish pale ass.’

Adam’s reply was a pic he took in front of the bathroom mirror. Adam was clearly just stepped out of the shower. His tan skin was gleaming with water and his towel was wrapped so low around his hips.

‘How do you like this?’

Ronan had to curse and scrambled back to his room for some privacy. He needed to appreciate the perfection that was Adam’s Parrish body, and he’d rather do it alone and behind locked door.

***

Three months later, Ronan overnighted a box full of his first harvests to Adam. He sent several heads of lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers. Two days later, he received a pic of Adam and his entryway buddies sitting around the common room. Each was holding a bowl of salad and a thumbs up.

‘Thx for the veggies. Do you think you can send us pumpkins and strawberries next?’

Ronan’s reply was a pic of him and Opal standing in front of a farmer market stall. There was a sign reading ‘Lynch Farm’ and several neat rows of vegetables off to the side.

‘We’ll see.’

***

For Adam and Ronan, there was one good thing about being in a long distance relationship. Though the separation was hard, it inadvertently cut their fighting time by a lot. Between Adam’s studies and jobs and Ronan’s farm, they didn’t really have much spare time, so whenever their free time aligned, Adam and Ronan spent it being as sappy as they could get away with, which was a lot. (Still, both vehemently denied of being a sap.)

They still bicker with each other, mostly through texts, but somehow it always ended up in shirtless pics being sent back and forth. Which led to sexting. Which led to either boy locking themselves in their room to relieve the tension.

Whenever they talk on the phone, it was always about hundreds other mundane things. They would talk about Opal or about the latest pic the Gansey trio sent them. They would gossip about Adam’s classmates and Ronan’s farmer market friends. They would commiserate over essays and the sudden shortage of manure in Henrietta. They would complain about nice customers and rude costumers. They would trade videos of their daily life. Adam waiting in line to get food at Annenberg Hall, sunrise as seen from the Barn’s rooftop, Adam doing a handstand, Ronan and Opal doing a handstand.

Some nights, they would Skype but have no conversation. Adam would study and got lost in his books, while Ronan finished his modules or re-reading his notes at the other end. They were too busy to talk, but it was nice to look up once in a while and saw your boyfriend’s face not one feet away though physically they were hundreds of miles away. It made the distance bearable.

There were days when one of them were too tired or too busy to even send a text, and that happened more often than both liked. Ronan hated those days. Those were the days where his doubts crept in and the ‘what ifs’ returned with vengeance. On those days, Ronan would take the BMW out and raced her on the backwater roads of Virginia. The older Aglionby boys knew better than to go against the charcoal gray car, and the newer ones who never even heard of Ronan Lynch’s name learned their lessons soon enough.

It was a good way of taking his mind off things. The adrenaline rush was enough to ease the restless energy thrumming under his skin and come morning light, all his doubts would seem silly. Especially when his phone had one message from Adam waiting to be opened. It was a pic of Adam in bed, wearing Ronan’s shirt, all sleepy eyed and mussed hair.

‘Thinking of you.’

Ronan saved the pic and started his day with a smile.

For Adam, days where he didn’t get in touch with Ronan in one way or another left him feeling guilty. It felt like he was forgetting Ronan or something. He knew it was irrational to feel that way, especially because they were two grown ups who built their relationship based on trust and mutual understanding.

The nights were the worst because that was when the dreams assaulted him. He often dreamed that wretched day where his hands wrapped around Ronan’s neck, robbing him of air, leaving bruises in their wake. He would wake up gasping, hands grasping the sheet so tight he almost ripped it.

Nights like those he was tempted to call Ronan even if it was three in the fucking morning. Most of the times, his finger was one tap away from making the call, but he always pushed down the urge. Ronan slept little enough as it was, Adam didn’t want to deprive him any further.

Instead, Adam would take off his clothes and wear one of Ronan’s shirt. He would take out the toy car and spin the wheels, letting the music filled his silent room. He would take out the photo album and looked at the smiling faces of his family. He would take out his phone and browse through the many pics Ronan sent him. It calmed him enough that he could finally drifted off to sleep.

When he woke up in the morning, he felt half better already. Then his phone pinged, signaling an incoming message. It was a selfie of Ronan and Opal. Opal was holding up a box of strawberries and they both were smiling ear to ear.

‘You fuckers are gonna love my strawberries.’

Adam laughed and forwarded only the pic to his group chat.

‘Strawberries are on their way.’

Adam prepared for class and he could already taste the strawberry on his tongue.

#pynch secret santa #quietrook #tatd

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thebethbits · 5 years

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non-western art: teotihuacan + nazca cultures.

For this assignment, I chose to research Teotihuacan and Nazca cultural art.

teotihuacan, a mesoamerican metropolis.

Teotihuacan culture was based in a city of the same name, homed in Central America, about 50 kilometers (30 miles) northeast of modern day Mexico City. It is the largest pre-Columbian site in the Americas, and was the largest city in the entirety of the Western Hemisphere before the 1400s. It thrived for the first half of the first millennium A.D. Based on our best evidence today, we believe Teotihuacan to have been established around 150 BCE, lasting to about the middle of the 6th century. Nearly 200,000 people lived in the city at its peak. (Wikipedia)

Teotihuacan is, for nearly all parts considered, a ghost story. The city, a sprawling grid of over 30 km² (over 11½ square miles), was already in ruins, abandoned for nearly a thousand years before the Aztecs came upon it. So much of the Teotihuacanos is unknown: “they had no form of writing, so much of their politics, culture, and religion were lost or co-opted by later civilizations.” (Vance) Archaeological excavations have led to some recent significant discoveries; it is believed that sometime in the 7th or 8th century, the city was heavily burnt, seemingly by invaders, but recent findings shows that the damage was focused towards the structures of the elite were burnt, which leans towards convincing evidence of an uprising, but is still just a theory. (Wikipedia)

teotihuacan, in its prime.

From what we can see, and by what has been found, Teotihuacan is believed to have been home to a wide, diverse set of cultures, including Zapotec, Mixtec, Maya and Nahua distinctions, but this is still heavily debated.

Chief Curator of the Fowler Museum at UCLA, Matthew Robb, was the exhibition curator for the exhibition Teotihuacan: City of Water, City of Fire, at the de Young museum in San Francisco, in late 2017. When asked about how the art and culture of Teotihuacan invited new, diverse variety to the city, he said: “Not very many people in ancient Mesoamerica woke up and lived their lives in an apartment compound covered with interior wall paintings, but a lot of people in Teotihuacan did. And that’s just the murals—many compounds had small domestic altars, and certain kinds of stone sculptures were pervasive across all social levels. It was a materially and visually rich environment—there are even reduced-scale versions of vessels and objects included in burials.” (Gardiner)

At the time, Teotihuacan was a Mesoamerican metropolis. In its prime, the city was a bustling aspirational utopia of culture: the cultural, political, economic, and religious epicenter of ancient Mesoamerica. It was home to a visually rich environment, in more ways than just art. Houses had courtyards and drains, goods came from all around the city: minerals from the north, shells from the coast, jade from the Maya region. There were ball games and gambling, religious worshipping temples, many different types of food, various entertainments, it all made for a comfortable life to start thinking about bigger ideas than just survival. Teotihuacan was a shot at a better life for many people. (Moran)

teotihuacan architecture.

A Map of Teotihuacan, de Young Museum.

Architecturally, Teotihuacan contains a massive central road, thousands of residential compounds many pyramid-temples. We don’t know their true names, but we have those that the Aztecs gave them. The massive central road is known famously as the Street of the Dead, and the two main pyramid-temples are known as the Temple of the Sun and the Temple of the Moon. Even Teotihuacan is a given Aztec name, meaning "Place of the Gods”.

The grid layout of the city is incredibly organized and neat. The entire city is orientated 15.5 degrees East of true north. The main avenue, or the Street of the Dead, is massive, spanning 40 meters wide and 3.2 km long. (Teotihuacán) It spans from agricultural fields all the way towards the city’s main citadel, housing the pyramid-temple of the Sun, and culminating at the pyramid-temple of the Moon.

Temple of the Feathered Serpent, displaying "Tlaloc" (left) and feathered serpent (right) heads. Teotihuacan, Mexico, Mesoamerica.

Although it is the smallest of the three pyramid-temples along the Street of the Dead, the Pyramid of Quetzalcoatl (or the Temple of the Feathered Serpent, Quetzalcoatl), as well as its surrounding central plaza, are home to the greatest concentration of Teotihuacan’s sculptural and painted iconography. (Google Arts & Culture) Architectural sculpture attached to the temple are more than just decorative, displaying "Tlaloc" and feathered serpent heads. There are indents in the eyes for the placement of light-reflecting gems. It is believed that they suggest a strong ideological significance, but the significance itself remains highly debated. (Temple of the Feathered Serpent)

teotihuacan sculpture.

Mask, 4th–8th century, Teotihuacan, Mexico, Mesoamerica. Onyx marble (tecalli). The Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Sculptures were varied, as there was no tradition of portraiture in Teotihuacan culture. Masks were made in this idealized style, we believe, to be a representation towards a status symbol, or towards a standardized art motif of the time. It is carved out of Onyx marble, a precious stone, and may have been painted at one point. Depressions in the eyes and mouth may suggest that they were once homes for inlaid shells, stones, or other precious stones. There are perforations on the sides, intending that the mask may have not been worn by people, but instead attached to further sculptures; human figures, mummies, or deity bundles. (Doyle)

teotihuacan paintings.

Wall painting, 7th–8th century. Teotihuacan, Mexico, Mesoamerica. The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York.

Paintings can be found everywhere in Teotihuacan culture: on walls, on statues, on various kinds of ceramics. The painting above, is an example of the many floor-to-ceiling murals that cover the walls of many of the high-status apartment compounds, frescoed murals depicting elaborate scenes and enigmatic iconography. (Doyle)

teotihuacan ceramics.

Vessel from Tlaxcala with procession of figures, 550–650 CE. Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco (FAMSF).

Ceramics were a vivid, expressive venue of Teotihuacan art. Stylistically, the range of variety and high quality of painting and production showed mastery and expertise in the creation of ceramics: “Teotihuacan culture boasted a range of ceramic styles. Luxury ceramics could feature abstract figures rendered in vivid colors. There are also painted ceramics that are similar to frescoes, mold-made ceramics, very large and ornate multi-part incense burners, as well as architectural ceramics.” (Eiland)

contemporary references to teotihuacan.

Ralph Maradiaga Mini-Park, 24th & York. Mosaic sculpture, Colette Crutcher and Aileen Barr, 2010.

In San Francisco’s Mission District, various artists have paid homage to Teotihuacan culture. A mosaic sculpture done by artists Colette Crutcher and Aileen Barr, shows an interpretation of Quetzalcoatl, the feathered serpent god the Teotihuacanos worshipped.

The architecture of Teotihuacan can tell us so much about how the way we build our cities has evolved over time. Concepts like harmony, time-lasting material, and significance still have merit in our cities today. Look outside, see the way buildings are angled, or arched, or how high they climb in comparison to their surroundings and backdrops. The similarities are everywhere.

The Moon Pyramid and complex in Minecraft, de Young Museum.

The study and historical significance of Teotihuacan’s culture, architecture, and artwork of its diverse population is incredibly important. But not all of us can see it in our lifetimes, due to monetary restrictions or general life-work restrictions. Because of this, the exhibition curators at the de Young museum in San Francisco, California, made a 1:1 scale replication in Minecraft. The size, the scale, the recent discoveries, are all there for people worldwide to experience, with custom texture pack for a realistic representation of stone and artwork textures. Talk about incredible dedication and hard work to bring Teotihuacan to the world!

nazca culture.

Nazca civilization was homed in South America, near the coastal river valleys and high mountain basins of Peru. It flourished from about 100 BC to 800 AD. The style generally associated with the art of the Nazca – polychrome textiles, ceramics, architectural irrigation technologies – drew heavily from their contemporary, then-predecessors, the Andean society of Paracas.

The Nazca period was one of artistic flourishment and technological advancement. Religiously, the Nazca drew likely inspiration from their desert environment, beliefs based on agriculture and fertility. (Wikipedia) Many worshipped nature gods in favor of growth of crops and agriculture.

Politically, Nazca civilization was headed by a collection of chiefdoms, who worked both individually and collectively when the time called for it. There was no singular large-scale or integrated position of power. There was no centralized city. Instead, the overall population of about 25,000 people were spread across small villages. The Nazca were a state of the theocratic militaristic power sort, leadership often being those held in high qualification, usually priests and military leaders. (Cartwright)

Small cities of the Nazca civilization usually included many domestic amenities, including ceremonial mounds, walled courts, and terraced housing. It was also home to engineered aqueducts, including the Cantalloc Aqueducts, but there were more than 40 different built to ensure the supply of water to the city and to the surrounding agricultural fields, where cotton, beans, potatoes, and other crops grew. There were many opportunities in small cities for artisans, including ceramists, architects, weavers, astrologists, and musicians, to work for the leadership. Those who were not artisans, were usually farmers and fishermen, the fundamental base of the Nazca economical society. Pieces of pottery and textiles that have been found with resources originating far from Peruvian valleys (rainforest bird feathers, and mountain-homed alpaca and llama wool, etc.) serve as examples of evidence of trade with other cultures. (Cartwright)

nazca ceramics, goldsmithing, and textiles.

Curved Beaker with Rows of Abstract Masks and Geometric Motifs, 180 BC/500 AD. The Art Institute of Chicago.

The tradition of ceramics in Nazca culture was one of stunning high-quality polychrome pottery, with the use of eleven gradations of various colors in various pieces. Shapes included “double-spout bottles, bowls, cups, vases, effigy forms, and mythical creatures”. (Wikipedia) Pieces usually feature motifs, drawing from the environment, myth, religion, geometric, or deity representation.

Nazca ceramics were made before the use of wheels, and instead done by building coil walls up, then smoothing them out, before sometimes adding a smooth layer of soft clay for painting. Their reflective, smooth and shiny surfaces were made with the process of careful burnishing, or polishing/rubbing during the late drying stages. Many of the best-conserved examples we’ve found have been preserved in graves, buried with the mummified dead, either in dug graves or in tombs.

Nose Ornaments in the Form of Feline Whiskers, 180 BC/500 AD., The Art Institute of Chicago.

Gold and silver were also used in ceremonial and religious traditions, worn in the style of jewelry: masks, ear flaps, nose rings, or other adornments. To be worn they were flattened, cut, and embossed.

Panel, 500/600 AD, The Art Institute of Chicago.

Textiles were produced with cotton and wool, using techniques of muslin, brocading, tapestry, embroidery, painted cloth, and tridimensional weaving. Thread was dyed various different colors. Textiles, alike Nazca ceramics, usually portrayed themes, or motifs, worn for religious ceremonies or rituals. Excavations have found spindles, looms, needles, cotton, and pots of dyes at various Nazca sites. (Cartwright)

The panel above displays human-animal duality, portraying anthropomorphic abstract figures. The orientation can be shifted and still understood due to the range of horizontal symmetry. The many different heads featured are meant to signify supernatural, otherworldly powers, leaning towards this piece having ritualistic significance. (Art Institute of Chicago)

the nazca lines.

Of course, it is difficult to talk about Nazca culture, and not immediately turn to the famed Nazca lines; large geoglyphs seen only from an aerial vantage point, spanning over 50 miles, that have remained intact over the last 2000 years. The lines were made by clearing – with incredible detail – the red rocks of the Sechura (Nazca) desert, and exposing the greyish sand beneath. The geoglyphs are incredibly geometric, consisting of images that are of zoomorphic (animal-based) and phytomorphic (trees, flowers, etc.) shapes. (Bahadur)

The meaning of the lines has been heavily debated over the last handful of decades: leaning towards agricultural, to sacred rites for aquifers and springs, to astronomical and calendrical theories. National Geographic explorer Johan Reinhard summarized the versatile meaning of the lines in his book The Nazca Lines: A New Perspective on their Origin and Meaning: “No single evaluation proves a theory about the lines, but the combination of archaeology, ethnohistory, and anthropology builds a solid case.” (Reinhard) The way we see the world and our past continually adds onto itself, and with further research and a little bit of luck, we will hopefully find the origin and true meaning of the Nazca lines in the relative future.

Works Cited:

“Art and identity in the ancient city of Teotihuacan.” Gardiner Museum Blog, Gardiner Museum. 2018. URL.

“Teotihuacan, Mexico.” Google Arts and Culture, Google. Dec 2009. URL.

Bahadur, Tulika. “The Nazca Lines.” On Art and Aesthetics. eLucidAction. 8 May, 2016, URL.

Cartwright, Mark. “Nazca Civilization.” Ancient History Encyclopedia, Ancient History Encyclopedia Limited, 23 May 2014. URL.

Doyle, James. “The Arts of a Mesoamerican Metropolis, Here at the Met.” The Met, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, 19 Nov. 2014. URL.

Eiland, Murray Lee. “Ceramics from the Birthplace of the Gods.” Ceramics Monthly, The Ceramic Arts Network, 8 Jan 2019. URL.

Moran, Barbara. “Lessons from Teo.” The Brink, Boston University, 6 Oct 2015. URL.

Reinhard, Johan. The Nazca Lines: A New Perspective on their Origin and Meaning. Editorial Los Pinos, 1986.

Vance, Erik. “An Homage to Teotihuacan.” Sapiens, Wenner-Gren Foundation for Anthropological Research, Inc. 5 July 2018. URL.

Wikipedia editors. “Temple of the Feathered Serpent, Teotihuacan.” Wikipedia, Wikimedia, 7 Sep. 2019. URL.

Wikipedia editors. “Teotihuacán.” Wikipedia, Wikimedia, 4 Sep. 2019. URL.

Wikipedia editors. “Nazca Culture.” Wikipedia, Wikimedia, 16 May 2019. URL.

Art Cited:

Curved Beaker with Rows of Abstract Masks and Geometric Motifs, 180 BC/500 AD. The Art Institute of Chicago, Chicago. URL.

Explore Teotihuacan at Home with Minecraft, de Young Museum. 21 Sep, 2017. URL.

Mask. 4th–8th century, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York. URL.

Mosaic sculpture, Colette Crutcher and Aileen Barr, Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco. URL.

Nose Ornaments in the Form of Feline Whiskers, 180 BC/500 AD., The Art Institute of Chicago, Chicago. URL.

Panel, 500/600 A.D. The Art Institute of Chicago, Chicago. URL.

The Sun Pyramid. Jorge Pérez de Lara Elías, Flickr. URL.

Vessel with Procession of Figures. 4th–8th century, Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco, San Francisco, California. URL.

#3 #non western art.

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