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#i need to play catch up now that im off meds and at some sort of baseline
placesyoucallhome · 1 month
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I haven't drawn in 5 million years, here's Ruhka in a ridiculous lingerie piece I came across
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finagled · 2 years
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absent but busy
life never seems to slow down to let me catch my breath, so ive been busy trying to keep things going!
this has been a hellish year but also a spectacular one in so many ways. my dad’s death has shattered me tbh, im just not the same person i was before he left and life will never ever be the same with him gone. as somebody who already struggles with identity issues, i had a real hard time knowing how in the world i was supposed to keep going without his input and support. he always saw right through me and could point out things about me i wasnt even aware of yet, but he was always spot on, too. bouncing my ideas off of him is how i learned to human. im coming to realize i loved to succeed and experience so i could tell him and listen to how he loved to hear about it. with him gone, ive felt a sense of emptiness with everything.
im trying to hold on to what he’s taught me. he gave me so many lessons on how to be a person, a good person. he played devils advocate so id learn how to fight for what i knew to be true, and to reevaluate my stance if i couldn’t. he taught me how to treat other people, how every stranger deserves kindness. he taught me that you can be wrong, and that sometimes being wrong is a beautiful thing, because then you learn what’s right. he taught me nothing is worth sacrificing your morals.
the answer to where to find this person now is that now, i have to be this person. the only way for those things about him to live on is if i perpetuate them in my own life. im trying so hard to do this. its not going easy. im told over and over again that im smart, that i work hard, that im good with people, and yet my success has not materialized no matter what i’ve done to secure it. i think, if i just had mental health care and meds, if i could just see a doctor, then id be so great. but i can’t think like that. whether that’s true or not and that’s the only thing in the way between me and living like i feel like im meant to, it doesn’t matter. trying to get government assistance, at least in this state, feels impossible. i dont have the energy to keep hoping they’re going to help. im frustrated to come to the conclusion that i am going to have to metaphorically “pick myself up by the bootstraps” and find a way to push forward in the meantime.
i know im intelligent and have skills that can genuinely and directly help people, because ive done it before. its taken a really long time to have confidence in myself about anything. but i need to start, and then do something with it, because im wasting time waiting for help to arrive.
this is a big ol ramble but it feels good to have the energy to write stuff up. vari and i have been working real hard this past year trying to get the house and our lives set up in a way that will set us both up for success. we’re slowly getting a handle on chores and bills, and our mental health is improving. im slowly pulling all the tangled yarn apart in my brain and getting things sorted.
they took me off adderall and onto strattera, which i actually dont mind. ive heard the medication can precipitate manic episodes in bipolar individuals though, so i wonder if i like it because of that. im depressed so often and its been so long since hypomania, that i really done mind when i wake up with the excess energy and vigor. it doesnt feel extreme like hypomania, more like just having gusto for the day. ill have to keep an eye on it more since its only been about three weeks, but im grateful i havent lost much progress from getting off adderall. the side effects aren’t nearly as powerful either, which is nice.
so im trying. i have too many people i should be getting back to with messages so if youre one of them, im sorry. theres a million things going on and only so much energy each day, but ive drawn up some routines that i hope will encourage me to do more stuff throughout the day other than just chores and sims ;)
thanks to anyone for reading :3
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quirklessidiot · 4 years
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Title: filthy rich [3/3]  Pairing: millionaire!sakusa kiyoomi x y/n [filthy capitalist au] Genre: mystery, major angst ahead, thriller, mafia!au-ish
Synopsis: Just run, Y/N. Don’t look back.
Warnings: dark and yandere themes, toxic relationships, mentions of violence, shady business, class differences, mentions of rape, smoll breeding kink, unwanted pregnancy, mentions of abortion, and sakusa being a manipulative bastard 
Notes: 
Im disappering again for a week or two so as a parting gift, here ya go, im starting a bokuto fanfic soon and posting the reboot of notice me soon too hnnng thanks for the wait guys uwu
A sorta realistic take on a yandere is harder than it looks kssjdn omg anyways here yall go the long awaited last chapter of filthy rich. I’m not sure if I should put like a one shot sequel but so far im marking this series completed. Thanks for sticking by!
previous || series masterlist || blood son [sequel;one shot]
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You run your hands through your hair and shut your eyes tight, the quietness and stillness of your shared apartment was something to bask on before you put on a fake mask of happiness. It had been exactly two months since you found out about the birth control switch and the medaide agenda. 
In the span of those two months, you had grown more observant towards your boyfriend’s actions and you knew that it wouldn’t be anytime soon until he actually notices that you were onto him. 
You let out a shaky breath as you recollected some weird things you’ve seem to have noticed, how his brows would furrow when he’d receive a call indicating that something was up and it was serious or how you visited your ex-boss one time a week or so ago along with Kenjiro since you wanted to see how he was doing.
“...Well, he just didn’t come home and sold the place. Apparently he was in a rush to move or something because of family matters so I didn’t exactly see him.” the neighbor gossiped to you two.
“Y/N?”
You jump on your spot as you hear that dreadfully familiar voice.
“Hey,” You greet, walking up to him, you decide to do your usual hug but stop when you notice a small red stain on his necktie, the tie is dark blue and although it wasn’t obvious from afar, it definitely was up close. Your brows are furrowed together, this time in pure curiosity, “Did you get hurt? It’s unlike you to get messy.”
You notice the quick shift of attitude in his eyes, you were seemingly getting good at observing his emotions these days and it looked like he panicked for a second there.
Odd.
“A friend of mine had gotten hurt a while ago, you remember Atsumu Miya?”
A vivid image of a blonde man crossed your mind, he was another conglomerate friend of your boyfriend, another person to be weary of to add to the list, “Oh, is he alright?” you asked, trying to keep it casual as you untie his tie for him as usual.
“Yes. He’s awfully clumsy. You don’t need to worry.”
“Oh…” You mumbled, “by the way, I visited my ex-chief.”
“Ex-chief?”
“Mhm.” you hummed, “You know, my boss from before? Me and a few co-workers decided to visit him since he was a really good boss. Turns out he just left without telling anyone, poor man.”
“Sounds unpleasant. Did you know why he quit?”
“No.” You shrugged as you take the tie out and place it on the side, “He suddenly just quit his job and moved, neighbors said it was also because of family matters. It’s kinda weird because as far as we knew, he didn’t have a family.”
“Would you like me to look into it?”
You almost stiffen when he slithers his arms on your waist but you didn’t want to give away any suspicion, “No. I don’t want to pry. Hopefully he’s enjoying his retirement.” You sighed, turning towards him with a tight smile, “Now what would you like for dinner? I was thinking Mediterranean? I need to lose some weight since I’ve been feeling bloated for a while.”
He leans in for a soft kiss on your temple, “Mediterranean would be fine. Would you like anything else? We could order more.” he hummed, his lips slowly started to dangerously hover on top of yours.
“No, it’s fine.” You give him a quick peck and wiggle your way out of his arms, your stomach doesn’t feel well these days. Whenever you were near Sakusa you had the urge to throw up your innards despite having an empty stomach.
You don’t notice the dangerous gaze on your behind as you pick up the phone for your take-out.
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Sakusa hasn’t felt you in a long time and it’s driving him insane, he wants to feel your heat, your body, and everything in between. He wants to fill you up and see you pregnant with his children. He wants everyone in the world to know you were his and his only.
Yet he can’t do that.
You’ve ignored his affections these past few weeks and it had been driving him insane to the point where he had to ask one of his men to put an eye on you to see if you had been cheating on him or seeing someone else.
Yet you hadn’t.
Your routine was the same old one and Sakusa is digging his nails deeply into his skin in his office one day with his tie uncharacteristically untied. Miya Atsumu sits across him, taking a sip from his flask, “Ya look like shit.” the blonde points out.
“Fuck off, Miya.”
“Heard from your cousin that you’re not getting laid by your girl these days.”
“You better be thankful that you’ve got men behind you or I’d be shooting your fucking brains out for saying that.” Sakusa spats, his dark gaze pointedly looking at the blonde across him.
“You should just find someone else then and not yer prude of a-”
“Keep telling me ideas like that and maybe I might just shoot you and chop your body up until it looks fuckin’ unrecognizable.”
Atsumu raises his hands up, signaling that he was giving up, “Gee, omi-omi. I was just giving my advise. It’s so easy to drop her.”
“I don’t want to drop what’s mine.”
“You’ve got issues.” He chuckles, “Haven’t you been switching out her pills and fucking her raw for the last couple of months? I bet yer ass you got her pregnant on that before but ya just don’t know it. Getting her pregnant would definitely secure her spot in her life. Woman’s nuthin’ without ya.”
“She’s...she’s not showing…”
“When was the last time ya two went at it?”
“Two months ago.”
“Ya poor boy.” Atsumu sighs, shaking his head, “Ya sure you don’t want to take a break from being a loyal boyfriend for one night? i bet Y/N wouldn’t notice.”
“And no one would notice if you fucking disappeared. I’ll make sure of it, now get out.”
You may not have been the sharpest tool on the shed but you know that someone’s been tailing you these past few days, you’re not stupid. You could only come to the conclusion that it was Sakusa who was doing such things but you couldn’t get why.
Something just didn’t make sense. It felt like you were missing an important piece in the puzzle, med-aide and the switch of your pills and now a hidden tail?
You furrow your brows together in deep thought  as you sat down next to a teenage boy on his phone, you decided to take the bus today to the grocery store, surprisingly the one tailing you wasn’t around today.
Your eyes slowly shift towards the boy’s phone, it seemed like he was playing a video game.
An otome game, to be exact.
You felt your lips twitch up, you remembered those games a lot growing up. The graphics seem to have massively improved now by the looks of it, “...That looks interesting.” You tell the teenage boy who turns to you in surprise.
“Oh, thanks.” the blonde replied quietly.
“Is that a new otome game?”
“Kind of.” He blinks, his gaze returning back to the screen,  “It’s sort of a remake of the yandere simulator from back then.”
You feel your shoulders tense up.
“A yandere?”
“Yeah.” The blonde nods, “The girl’s awfully creepy in the game, she stalks him, does things to get him. The player has to catch her in the act and evade her at the same time.”
“Oh…” You blink, “I-uh, this is weird… but what’s a yandere again?’
“It’s someone obsessively in love with you. They’ll do anything to have you stay by them.” He says, pushing on a button but suddenly the screen turns red and you feel shivers run down your spine as you hear him curse and the words ‘you’re caught’ appear on the screen.
“W-what happened to your character?”
“He died. Nothing much.” he mumbles, “If the Yandere knows they can’t have you, they’ll kill you.”
You immediately went pale as soon as you heard that. Maybe, just maybe you were being paranoid. He wouldn’t go to that extent, would he?
“How did your character escape the yandere in the game?” 
“Well, I haven’t finished the game yet but based on some anime’s and manga’s I've usually read. They either killed to get away or they moved so far away where they wouldn’t be seen so I think the creator might have the same ending.” The blonde said, he slowly looked to your side, “You’re looking awfully pale, ma’am. Are you alright?”
“Yeah, j-just remembered a horrible game I played back when I was your age.” You gulped in, “Nightmares, you know? The yandere tried to get my character pregnant and tried to get in her way of moving out of the country.”
“Sounds like a very realistic one.”  He mumbles, “What did your character do?”
“I wasn’t able to finish it.” you whispered, loud enough for him to only hear, “I couldn’t really find a way out.”
“The developers of the game must’ve made it hard for you. Maybe your character should’ve ran away,” he advised, “Or better yet, you should’ve killed him.”
“I-well, I don't think there were options like that.”
“Well if I were you and there was no option for killing, I’d run. Far, far away. Change my identity and all that.” he exits the game and stuffs the phone back in his pocket, you get a good look of his cat-like eyes and immediately feel a shiver on your spine with the next words he say, “I mean its a game but you wouldn’t wanna loose and get your character killed, right?”
“R-right.”
The teenage boy hops down without even saying goodbye and you have a scary realization that you can’t break it off like you originally had planned. You needed to run, run far as you can and get lost.
The words that the teenage boy says echoes in your head for the next few days, from that point on, realization dawns upon you that, nothing is certain now. You couldn’t trust anyone, you couldn’t let friends and family be involved in this. Sakusa Kiyoomi is a powerful man so you needed to be careful with how you were going to disappear.
You continue to act nonchalant and the same as you try to lay out your plan but you knew that you had only a week or so to complete this for it to successfully work.
Sakusa Kiyoomi wonders what he should do to save the relationship, he’s tried everything in the book that he could think of but you remained the same. Was this the end of the relationship? For real?
He could never stomach the idea of having you leave him.
It’s eerie that day, something felt different when he came home to an empty apartment. It looked the same yet something felt very, very different. Apparently the apartment guards said you were here since your car hadn’t left the driveway and they hadn’t seen you go out.
He checks out your side of the closet, your clothes remain there untouched and your toiletries were there too. He scans the fridge for your notes but nothing is stuck there. He suddenly feels like something cold was dumped on him.
It couldn’t be, right?
Right?
He runs to every room, checking every nook and cranny and when he finally reaches the last room which was the bathroom, nothing is there.
Everything was in its place except you.
Where were you?
Your bank account remains untouched, your wallet and phone was left in the apartment. It was as if you were returning home, the very least. Komori tells him to calm down, saying that they’re letting the best people find you around the city, they don’t rule out that someone might’ve had the audacity to touch you.
Whoever took you would be given hell to pay, that’s for sure. Was it the triad? Kkangpae’s? Or opposing yakuza’s? Oh, they’ll definitely have their heads on the platter if they tried to harm a single hair on your head.
Sakusa doesn’t even hesitate to notify the police about you already despite the memorandum that twenty-four hours is needed to consider a person missing, it's nothing a little money can fix.
“I hope we find her soon.” Your aunt sighed, “I’ve notified her parents about it. It’s definitely weird that she’d leave all her valuables behind.”
Hinata and Natsu sit there next to their mom, completely sad and worried, “I’ve hired the best people for it already, obaasan. We’ll find Y/N.” Sakusa replies yet his thoughts are in a complete frenzy now.
And find you they did.
No stone was left unturned. He made sure of it. Yet after a month of relentless searching. Nothing came up, it seemed like you had just vanished and Sakusa Kiyoomi had turned the whole underground world upside down for you but nothing came up.
Some say that you disappeared and ran away but that was immediately ruled out, no security cameras saw you in and out during that day and it would be impossible for you to just leave without security cameras on you. The guard had exclaimed that despite the blackout that day, the generators only took a few minutes to power up so they’d definitely catch you on camera in case you ever exited the building (along with the guards since they knew exactly what you looked liked) plus the clothes and such were still there, left untouched.
Some said you died, it was definitely impossible for you to just vanish without a single trace after all since everyone was looking for you.
Yet no one dared to say it in front of the boss, not if they valued their life.
The billionaire had dried out his connections to find you. What good was it to be the most powerful and richest man in the country if he couldn’t find you? Life had no meaning now, you were gone. It felt like a part of him was ceasing to function.
Sakusa Kiyoomi was a dead man walking now.
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Unknown to the whole world, you’re in a small town with little to no signal. Your hair is chopped unevenly and your skin is darker from the repeated exposure under the sun, your life is simple and mundane now yet you’re happy.
For the first time in months, you actually felt free.
You shut your eyes tight, the events that transpired this past few months replayed  in your head. Your escape was definitely done as carefully as you can and you didn’t even know if you’d succeed since you weren’t a master in that sort of thing.
You recalled that it was a week before you ran away, a few days after you met that kid in the bus. Someone from the electric company had come to inform you that there was a scheduled black out in the city that day during the afternoon and you felt something bubble up in you. That was the day you’d put your plan into motion.
You knew that the longer you delayed your plan, the harder it would be to escape.
You had a few minutes to actually put your plan to work. The camera’s on the hallways would cease to function for a few minutes according to the guard downstairs as he did a protocol on the building (apparently the generators were quick). So that morning after Sakusa left, you placed only a few clothes and the stash of money you had been carefully hiding in a garbage bag and chopped your hair short in an uneven manner. Burning all the remaining hair on the fireplace and the black hair color that you use with it. The maid uniform that you stole on your floor and a fake name plate that you made was on and you were good to go.
The minute the black out started, you took the garbage bag and walked out. Taking the stairway used by the caretakers, you made sure to just look down and never directly up at the camera’s pretending to work.
When you finally made it out of your building. You let out a stiff sigh and put down the bag, it was only the beginning. If you thought the same way as Sakusa Kiyoomi, you could only imagine that you needed to be more careful from this point on.
You take the newly bought duffel bag that you strategically hid behind some boxes. Thankfully when you had placed it yesterday afternoon, it hadn’t been touched. 
You put on a pair of shorts and a baggy shirt with cheap shades and stuffed the maid uniform in the duffel bag along with your belongings in the garbage bag. You take the other route that led to the busy streets. It was easy to look like a tourist and seemingly blend in the crowd, from that point on, you only had one destination in mind.
When you were younger, you vividly remember an acquaintance telling you about this small town outside of Tokyo where her grandparents were from. It was only an hour away via plane and when you went down another few hours via bus yet if you took the bus route all in all, it would take a few days.
Since it was far, only a few busses actually went there and since you had to leave within the day, you decided to just take the bus nearest to that town and take another bus when you arrived there.
The plan smooth-sailed from that point on.
Except for one minor detail.
You open your eyes and look down at your now small bump. The monster who almost had you trapped left a parting gift, you grip your garden hoe tightly.
A big part of you wanted to kill it.
Yet every time you try to, you hesitate.
The moment you arrived here, you had to pretend to be a weary and poor widow. You just didn’t expect to be a weary and poor expecting widow. You let out an uncharted sigh at the thought, it was hard enough to be alone here with little to no money. 
This child had the demon’s blood in it.
Yes, you may have gone free from his cage but in truth with his seed growing in your stomach day by day, you started to feel quite the opposite.
taglist [thanks for your support ilyasm skkss im so sorry for updating late too :(]
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ohholyfanfics · 3 years
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Ten Stages: Stage One| Tom Holland
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Stage One: Realization, the stage where they slowly start to realize that they are falling for someone. Where Tom has a sudden realization thanks to his best mate Harrison Osterfield.
She was running late, a bit later than usual. Checking his watch once more, Tom found himself humming along to the slightly over-played tone filling the car. The hot Virginia sun causes sweat to form on his forehead; reaching over, he quickly switched the AC settings knowing she'd complain the moment she got inside the car. Biting his bottom lip, he felt a wave of relief wash through him as he watched her walk out of the building. Hair in a neat ponytail, her figure hugged by a dress that looked way too good on her. Her light pink blazer rested on her arm as she waved goodbye to a colleague before making her way over to his car.
"Ah always a gentleman.." she hummed in approval watching as he swiftly got out of the car and opening her door.
Giving her his signature boyish grin, he leaned close to her, placing a soft kiss onto her cheek. Closing her door, she couldn't help but roll her eyes, watching as he climbed back in. Tom watched as she fiddled with the climate control on her side from the corner of his eyes.
"You sure you aren't going through menopause or something.." he mumbled, backing out of the spot and soon driving them towards their weekly lunch date.
"Isn't that your job to know.." she hummed, pulling her phone out from her bag. "Plus, I think I'm a bit to young for that Thomas.." she mumbled.
"Well aren't you a doctor.." he huffed out as she took this chance to slap him across the head. The loud groan that escaped his lips was enough the have a satisfied sigh escaping her own.
"Besides the point Holland, how was the first half of work? Any life saving surgery?"
He shrugged, he loved what he did, and every day, he was thankful for it. Sure it was hard work to get where he was now, but here he stood. Now three years into residency, he had somewhat of an idea of what he wanted to do. After learning that a position would be opening up at the hospital, he knew this is where he was meant to be.
"Not really, pretty slow today.."
She nodded her head; Tom was a bit further along than she was. He was nearing the end of his term and now had a whole different set of pressure resting on his shoulders.
"A spot is opening up at the hospital though.." he mumbled once they were seated at the country club—the same country club where they had first been introduced.
"Wow Tom, are you gonna apply?" She asked with wide eyes. They hadn't talked much about his plans after med school; she knew he had some sort of idea of staying local. "Is it in the department you're in now?"
"Um it's actually in the trauma department.." he stated as she nodded her head. This was the first time he was actually voicing his future plans with her. It wasn't that he kept her in the dark or that she felt entitled in being informed. Tom was her best friend, and she just wanted to support him in any way possible.
"Wow that's huge.." she stated as he nodded his head. He knew she had been seeing or talking to some guy from the hospital. It was possibly the first time since March that she had actually gone out on a date. Tom doesn't know if she went on a date or if they even still talked.
"Not sure if it's something I want though."
Y/N knew that was a code for closing that conversation, so she did just that. In an instant, their discussion switched to the fact that she will be gone for a few days. Tom had promised to look after her place along with being on dog sitter duties for Layla. He hummed softly as she basically gave him a tiny little run down of her short weekend trip and promising takeout the moment she's back. He knew it was a code word for debriefing after spending a few days confined with her family members.
"Harrison's coming down right?" She asked once they were seated at their usual table. "He texted me asking if I'll be around.."
"Yeah, he's staying a couple days.." he mumbled, eyes scanning the menu though it was kinda pointless. He already knew both their words.
"Hmm, it'll be good for you." She mumbled, clearing her throat. As much as y/n hated to admit, she knew this time was difficult for any medical student. The ending was nearing, and the sudden pressure to have everything set in stone was terrifying. However, she knew as much as anyone that Tom was in a much different mindset than when they first met.
The Tom Holland sitting before her was different; he had a future planned out for himself. Sure, he didn't plan ahead like she had, but the small amount he did was a great start. She also knew that pushing him into making decisions was never an intelligent choice; Tom knew what he wanted and had all the necessary tools to pursue whatever it was he wanted in life. One thing she was clear on was that he was staying in Virginia.
"Can I ask you something.."
She looked up at him nodding her head. His tone was slightly different, closer to the one he used the morning after their last candle and wine night. The same night where she may have cried a bit too much in his guest room.
"That night at the beach, when when we made the bet, where you in a sense preparing yourself? You know, for like the breakup?" He asked softly, thanking the waiter as they set their drinks down.
She looked at him a little dumbfounded, not really knowing what to say. She knew what she had to say, but the words couldn't seem to come out. She looked at him for a few seconds, mind racing before finally speaking.
"No, I wasn't. If I'm being completely and utterly honest with you Tom, I thought Marc was maybe the one. We were together for so long and everything was so close to perfect. I don't think I really ever saw us ending.."
He nodded his head, ignore the slight sting upon hearing those words, not that he was surprised. It hurt him to know that something that she believed in so desperately ended without any explanation. He couldn't even begin to imagine what she was feeling or what she thought the moment everything sunk in. However, Tom also knew y/n was a lot stronger than everyone gave her credit for.
"Have you talked to him?"
"No, he didn't answer the first couple of texts I sent. So I guess I kinda got the hint you know. I'm not necessarily bothered by it, I mean I was in the beginning but now it kind feels numb."
"Shouldn't you like talk to a professional love.." he mumbled as she smiled at him softly. "I know it's in a sense traumatizing.."
"Don't worry doctor, I talk to my shrink about it. Im kinda coming to terms with the fact that maybe we weren't meant to be.." she mumbled as he nodded her head. "I just, I'm focusing on myself and getting through all this. If love comes my way it comes my way..."
"How knows darling, the one might be right under your nose." He chuckled, leaning over to bop her on the nose. He couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips, watching her nose scrunch up and eyes crinkle up.
"God I hate you sometimes.."
It's been two days since Y/N had left for New Hampshire on a small family getaway. As much as she wanted to drag him along, and as much as Tom hated to admit it, a weekend with the Y/L/N sounded pretty amazing; Harrison finally got some time off and was coming to visit. He was had just finished stocking his fridge with a few essential items the two would need before the door open and the sound of barking welcomed the blond inside the townhouse.
He couldn't help the sense of familiarity that washed over him seeing his best friend come into view. Tom hated to admit it, but he needed to see him, more than he could like to admit. After a hug that might have lasted a few seconds longer, they were both drowning in beer and one of Harrison's favorite dishes made by y/n.
"Where is our own personal pyschatrists anyways?" he asked before taking a sip of his beer.
"Went up north to visit family, something about get together or whatever.."
Harrison nodded his head, picking at the label on his beer. The two had done a decent amount of catch-up, but he couldn't seem to notice the lack of mention of his neighbor.
"Marc must be happy to see her.." Harrison mumbled as Tom tensed up at the name. He wasn't sure what Harrison did and didn't know. "I actually ran into him a few days ago."
Tom choked slightly on his beer as he looked back at him at a loss. He wrecked his brain on what he could say but kept coming out short. The one thing coming to mind was just blurring out how Marc suddenly stopped responding without an explanation. How he suddenly can't stop thinking about their stupid bet, and how every day the chances of becoming a reality increase.
"Mate, they aren't together anymore..."
"Stop bullshitting me Holland, Marc looked very much in love with her when I asked him how things were between them.."
Tom couldn't help but scoff, thinking back to the night she had shown up with too many bottles of wine and a broken heart.
"Mate he ghosted it, thats a pretty funny way of showing your love."
"Fuck, I had no idea."
"No one did mate."
The past few days were pleasant and relaxing; the two spent time together. Harrison was just what time needed, and within the short few days Harrison was there, Tom realized a couple of things:
One that he couldn't possibly live without both Y/N and Harrison in his life.
Two that he was going to take the position at the Trauma Department.
"Thomas Stanley did you miss me..." she giggled softly as he brought her into a bone-crushing embrace. The sigh that escaped his lips was overwhelming.
Maybe, you don't see her as just a friend, mate. I don't do half of the shit you do with her, with Jessica.."
"Shut up, Y/N.." he mumbled, slightly pushing her away while shaking Harrison's voice out of his head. "I got that wine you told me about.."
"Yum, it's good." she stated as she took a seat at the island. He couldn't help but smile as she leaned over, smelling the candle he had picked out. "Cactus Bloom?"
"Its a good debriefing scent, not too intesne.."
I don't bother to memorize small insignificant facts about just some random girl, not even if we're close. I'd understand a few minor details, but not all.
She watched as he poured them both a glass before handing her a plastic spoon and pushing a carton of takeout towards her. She hummed in appreciation, sending him a wink.
"So how was your few days with Harrison?" she asked, swirling the pasta around. "How's he doing?"
"He's doing, says the kids say he speaks funny.."
"He does speak funny, you both do.." she hummed, locking eyes with him and a wide grin. "But its a cute funny.."
"Funny."
She hummed, sending him a wink before taking a few more sips of her wine. He sighed, leaning back in his seat as he took a good look at her. She looked different; she was happier, lighter even. It was clear these few days away did good on her, and he was glad.
You notice the little things about her Tom, from the color of her nails to when her mood shifts. No one reads that deep unless they fancy someone.
"I'm gonna take the spot in the truma department.."
Her lips formed an 'O' before launching herself into his arms. Her lips lightly brushing the skin against his neck, causing his arms to hold her a little tighter.
Now tell me, Holland, how does she make you feel? Don't hold back anything Tom, it's me. You can be honest, mate. Do you fancy Y/N?
"God, Tommy I'm so happy for you.."
The way her eyes sparkled caused a storm to awaken within him. His heart was beating a bit too fast, the sudden urge to pull her into a kiss. The feeling was overwhelming as she started to ramble still in his embrace.
It was at that moment that the realization kicked in. Tom Holland was starting to fall for his best friend, and he wasn't sure how to deal with it.
Taglist:
@thenoddingbunny-blog @blueberrynonnie @bi-lmg
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nadohunter · 4 years
Text
Im so tired ya’ll
I worked more hours than ever this month and its still not enough to catch up on the debt I’m in. I had to overdraft my bank account again to make sure I could still keep internet. I worked enough so I can cover rent and pull my bank account out of the negative.
However I have to find some way to cough up $480 to pay off my drawing tablet which I had to get to school, and I’m really glad I have.They’ve already been pretty damn patient with me and given me until November to pay it off or it’ll be referred to collections... which would really really suck because I was good and already paid $1,200 on it over the course of a year. And despite working my ass off its still not enough.
That’s not even taking into account the fact I need to find the funds to A. Get groceries and kitty food because I’m running out of everything, and B. I’m getting constant calls from the phone and credit card companies because they’ve also been patient with me for a while but they want their money. I haven’t been able to get meds, and I have to cancel my appointment with  my psychiatrist. On top of all that my computer is on the fritz and beginning to limit what I can do even further. So that’s another kick in the teeth that has me super super stressed.
I’m super scared and exhausted. I haven't been able to get any other work since being dropped by that client, she really did fuck me up hardcore. I was getting by okay before she pulled that bullshit and I’m still super angry about it. I’ve cut costs everywhere that I possibly can. I want to make art work, I want to be able to make comics and tell interesting stories bc tbh that’s the only thing keeping me sane right now outside of pure distracts when I’m not given projects by my job to work on... and honestly my only long-shot possibility of getting back on my feet. I went to school for that, its the only thing I’m really trained in, so I have to make it work.
It is sort of at a point where if you like the art I make, follow my fan comic, want me to do more in the future... it’s really all going to have to be shut down if I can’t overcome this massive debt I’m in. At least if I get back down to zero somehow I’ll actually have a chance to rebuild and find financial independence. I’ve tried apply for a few loans and another credit card too, but I’m in that sort of weird limbo bracket where I’m not in quite enough debt to get a credit rebuilding loan, but I’m in debt enough to where i’m rejected by your average companies.
I know also everyone is kind of in the pits right now. So I feel horrendous whenever I get desperate enough to try and ask for help on this platform -> But if you can spare even the tiniest little bit: You can donate to my Paypal using the address: [email protected]
I’m super scared and stressed and I know its only going to be harder for me without my Meds but I really really want to make it work. I’ve been trying so so hard to keep myself calm by being like “this will be the month I can catch up“ and trying to play it off as no big deal to others because I don’t want to worry them or make them feel bad when I know everyone is super stressed and kind of in limbo right now. And I always kind of feel like I’m not worth making someone worry and I struggle with feeling super pathetic. The other reason I want to stabilize is because my dad and his GF who I honestly really love and appreciate now that I know her is also going through a really hard time mentally and just had to go in for an MRI scan. So her and my dad are also really scared, and she hasn’t been able to work and they have a pretty large family to support... so I want to be able to support them too.They’ve been nothing but kind and supportive of me so I really want to be able to give back and idk, at least do a run to sams club and buy some food in bulk to split up between us.
With all that out of the way, I’m going to get over my fear of being judged and scrutinized for a second and just admit it. I’m desperate. I’m super scared. For those of you that have helped me out before. I am so so grateful for you and I’m sorry I’m still struggling because when I am it feels like I’m letting you down. I’m going to make it up to you if my life depends on it.
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ufonaut · 3 years
Note
Prompt: scrabble night between early ISA, Henry, Jordan, Larry- perhaps right after Larry joins the team?? With or without flirting, dealers choice! Bonus points if somehow, much to Brainwave’s chagrin, Larry is the winner :D
very very early isa
---
As far as evenings with this nascent revival of the Injustice Society of America go, it’s a quiet one. Larry and Henry have taken over the beat-up couch in an already cramped-looking living room, a game of Scrabble spread out between them. A particularly intense affair, Jordan would venture to say from his vantage point at the foot of the couch, balancing a notebook on his knees and occasionally dodging the chip crumbs Larry keeps attempting to wipe on him. It’s--
Not nice, exactly. Warm might be better suited, familiar though it’s only the third time Jordan’s gotten the infamous Sportsmaster to come over to the apartment he shares with Henry. These days, it doubles as an unwilling headquarters for the ISA, mostly constructed out of hopes and dreams and Jordan’s very own blind optimism. They’re getting there. It’s a good start, he thinks.
“Y’know,” Larry starts, dealing a devastating blow in the form of quiz -- worth too many points for Henry’s comfort, “I’m missin’ out on a hot date for this.”
Jordan sincerely doubts that, not because Larry isn’t-- Larry ‘Crusher’ Crock very much is the kind of person who both says and participates in things like hot dates but the idea that he’s missing out on anything at all in favour of time spent here is merely too much to handle at the present moment. Jordan and Henry hardly have many prospects in matters of friendship, it strikes him as unlikely that Larry’s ever suffered a dull moment in his life. Instead of anything as tragic as voicing that thought, Jordan coughs.
“Well, it’s an important meeting,” he says and only barely believes it. He startles when Larry pets his hair, one of those keep telling yourself that, pal gestures, a hint less condescending than the words would’ve been.
“And I’m supposed to be studying for an exam,” Henry adds, unhelpful. “Can we just play?”
“Med school, huh? Boy, that’s gotta suck.” Larry doesn’t sound particularly interested nor sympathetic. Amused, if nothing else, which isn’t new but sufficiently exciting for Jordan’s lacklustre standards.
“Not particularly.”
Henry shoots Jordan a look that’s presumably meant to convey some level of annoyance and/or, more acutely, blame. Jordan merely smiles in response, scribbles down a couple things in his notebook and adds to the ever-growing itemized list there.
Eventually, Larry does concede and makes his move, which only serves to provoke another exasperated sigh out of Henry, no doubt owing to some newfound competitive streak. Jordan had been preoccupied with dinner when it’d all started and he’s yet to understand the complexities of how it’s gotten to this point. As a matter of fact, he can’t picturing anyone present opting for board games at all, and that’s with the full knowledge of the sheer number of times Henry’s beaten him at Scrabble.
It’s a tight race, Jordan can tell that much even with most of his attention on his notebook and a certain rough draft growing rougher by the minute. A couple of lines have been crossed out, rewritten and crossed out again. He’s had better nights.
“Whaddya say, Brainy? What do I get if I win?” Larry asks and Jordan hardly gets any time to register any possible -- or impossible -- implications before he finds himself hauled up by his underarms like he weighs next to nothing and placed squarely on a very warm lap. Larry’s very warm lap. For the longest time, Jordan fails to comprehend what’s happened. He’s staring at Henry, he realises belatedly, blue eyes gone wide. Throughout the whole affair, he’s somehow managed to hang onto his notebook, clutched with both hands.
And Jordan freezes, in more ways than one. In an instant, frost spreads out across his cheeks, too aware of the precarious position, of the fact that it’s-- Jordan’s never-- no one’s ever gotten this close before.
He doesn’t not like it.
To the first-time observer, the ice must make a bizarre sight. Henry’s seen it before but Jordan catches him staring back, frowning at the way his skin cracks open with the cold, as if crystalline tendrils of ice had been waiting just beneath a façade of normalcy. If he feels the sudden drop in temperature, he’s not sure Larry does.
In hindsight, Henry might just be making a face at Larry. The act in itself strikes Jordan as too casual, makes him wonder whether it’s the kind of thing Larry does with all his friends.
“You can have him,” Henry decides, “but you’re not winning.”
“Hey!”
That’s all it takes for Jordan to come to his senses and squirm his way out of Larry’s grip. He sort of crashes inelegantly to the floor with the telltale sound of shattering glass, which sends Larry into genuine hysterics for a moment too long. “Did you... break?!” he asks, laughing breathlessly.
It’s a rare stroke of luck that the ice on Jordan’s face has mostly melted away by now or, otherwise, slid to the floor in that sudden burst of movement. “No!” He faces Larry to prove it, still a little wide-eyed. “I just froze! It, uh, happens sometimes.” It’s the truth, too. He can’t tell whether it makes it any less embarrassing. Jordan’s had his powers for as long as he can remember, instinct remains difficult as ever to tamp down.
The evening descends into further chaos when Larry proceeds to play yowza and thoroughly annihilate any hopes Henry might’ve had of winning at Scrabble. Immediate indignation pushes him into action. “That’s not even a word!” Henry insists, the game board hovers in mid-air while he’s at it and Jordan can’t tell whether it’s intentional or simply telekinesis gone intro overdrive.
“Oh, yeah?” Larry challenges, crossing his arms. “Why don’tcha get a dictionary and prove it, huh?”
“You know what?”
“What?”
A staring contest ensues. Jordan’s distantly glad to have ended up back on the floor and away from the worst of it.
“I think I will.”
Henry stalks off to his bedroom with a huff and the board falls back on the couch, spilling letters everywhere. The game’s done as it is. Jordan blinks a couple times, mildly startled by the turn this evening’s taken. When Larry faces him, he very nearly expects it. “So, what’re you workin’ on there, bud?”
“Oh!” Jordan feels himself smile, pleasantly surprised by the sudden interest. “It’s just a couple ideas for the ISA constitution. I mean, the world’s going to need it when we change everything for the better, right? Here, you can take a look.” He hands over the notebook, misses the barely restrained amusement, Larry’s eyes bright with it.
He doesn’t, however, account for Larry reading it out loud.
“Abolish homophobia? I keep telling ya, champ, I can help with that,” Larry laughs and keeps on reading. “Universal healthcare. Uh-huh. No discrimination-- yada yada yada. Something in whatever language. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Ban daylight savings? You’re a weird li’l dude, Icy.”
“Thank you... ?”
With the notebook back in Jordan’s grasp, they resolve to wait for Henry in silence.
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hamilton-one-shots · 6 years
Text
Hamilton High School AU 22
Alexander popped the phone onto a charger and waited for the screen to light up. When it did, he saw that the lock screen was Lafayette and a few old friends in front of the Eiffel Tower. He looked happy. At least, he looked substantially happier than the last time Alexander saw him. He sighed and added Lafayette's new number before texting him. [Laf: hey, its alex. marta gavme ur old phon. can we tak l8r? its imprtnt.] Then he switched to texting John. [John: hey, marta gav me lafs old phon 4 now.]
Both were headed back to class after lunch, though Lafayette was more nervous to respond. [Yes, of course, but it will have to wait a while. I have drama and we're talking to John after that.]
[I'm glad to hear that. I missed you. : )]
Alexander opened his laptop to work on something for the debate society, cringing as Lafayette's text tone rang through. 'Salut! New message, Monsieur! Meow!' Even Lafayette now would be annoyed by it.  [Laf: it ok. I jus wana tak. Hav fun in drama :)] He hoped he sounded friendly enough. The last thing he wanted to do was panic Lafayette. [John: i talked 2 marta a lot. I feel beter 4 it. Oh! Also took my meds] [...do u thnk Tomas gets angry spels?] [no, ignor tat. It's dum. Jus thinkin 2 much. Bored @ hoem.]
Lafayette was the first to respond with a simple [Thank you, I'll see you then.]
[I'm glad you feel better! Can't have my love feeling too bad ❤] [I'm also proud of you for taking your meds 💗] It was mushy, but it was John. He was usually like that. At least he was with Alexander. When the second set of messages came through, he frowned a bit. [Jefferson's just a stupid bully. I've known that for a while now, you know.] [Don't let him get to you.]
Alexander sighed. He couldn't blame John for thinking that way after what he did to him. [sry, just didnt tink ne1 cud b tat much of n ass w/out reson]
[I see where you're coming from, but Jefferson isn't like you. He doesn't care.]
John had a point, but... It was worth a shot. He logged into Facebook and pulled up his messages with Jefferson. [dnt b men to laf in drama]
[Anything for you <3 xx]
[dnt do tat. im tryin to b sivil]
[You just wanted to message me, didn't you? ;) xx]
[no.]
[Why? Besides, I'm meant to be working, boo <3 xx]
[4get it] Alexander dropped back to his pillow with a huff, holding the phone to his chest. This wasn't going anywhere. [jus bored. Go bck 2 studyin]
[Yes sir <3 xx] Thomas chuckled and strode into class with Lafayette and Hercules, where Alexander usually joined them, and sat beside the pair. "Smile, Mulligan. You use less muscle."
"When you drop, I will." He shot back.
"Now, now, I've been given specific instructions to be nice to Laf. I plan on following them." Thomas grinned.
Lafayette shifted to be a bit closer to Herc. He didn't feel like starting a fight with Thomas that day and didn't want Hercules to feel he had to. "If you really wanted to be nice to me, you'd kindly fuck off." He smiled, speaking low enough so that the teacher wouldn't hear, but loud enough for Thomas to hear him clearly.
Thomas nodded. "As you wish." And he... actually left?
"What's up with that?" Hercules asked.
"I don't know.. Maybe we should just enjoy this while it lasts."
[Laf asked me to move and I did. That's being kind, right? 😉 xx]
[i gess... thnx?].
[Don't mention it. See? I can be nice 💗 xx]  [What am I going to get in return? Or do I move back to sitting next to them? xx]
Alexander froze, feeling his heart jump wildly in his chest. [wat do u meen...?]
[I mean xx] [Either we start 'getting along' if you catch my drift, I'll play nice. I'll be nice to Laf, I'll be nice to Herc; hell, I'll even be nice to your Johnny 💗 xx] [We've just got to spend some time together, that's all xx] [Or I can go find John now. He's probably in the library, right? xx]
[nO] [dnt do that] [pls] He panicked, typing back quickly, biting his lip.
[Then let's hang out. Sit with me in lunch tomorrow when you're back. Then come to mine after school. I'll even drive us. OR I'll get John. xx]
Poor Alexander whimpered in panic. This wasn't what he wanted. Not in the least. [ok] He looked back to his conversation with John. [John, u cnt come ovr 2day. im 2 sick.]
John furrowed his eyebrows and took a break from drawing. [What? Are you sure? I asked Martha earlier and she said it'd be fine if I went over and visited you...] [And Lafayette asked me to come over, probably to talk about what they know.]
Crap, that was right. Alexander almost forgot. [sry, just havn an episod. frekd out fr a sec] He curled up and whimpered. He was scared... And he needed John now more than ever, but he wasn't going to let Thomas come near him, not after what he'd done to him. He had to take care of this himself. He switched back to Facebook. [tomas, im not sure about this...]
[So you'd rather me go back to sitting next to him and start something? Ooh, I know, I could tell him how hot he looks in skinnies 😉 xx]
Alexander jumped up. [no dnt] [sorry jus] [pls dnt do nythin] [pls] [tomas?] [thomas] [anser] [o god] [dnt hve dne nything] [pls] [tomas!]
[Chill. Eacker was looking this way so I had to hide my phone xx] This was a lie. Thomas had waited a few minutes before responding purposefully to scare poor Alexander. [Good to hear you screaming my name tho xx]
[stop pls]
[How'd you manage to misspell my name when it's on the screen in front of you? 😜 xx]
[pannic]
[Aww... don't panic 💗 I'm gonna look after you, I promise xx] He looked over at Lafayette and Hercules and smiled.
Lafayette glared back at him. "I'm going to get to the bottom of this..."
"Please be carerful.." Hercules kissed his cheek.
After school, Lafayette took a chance and sat beside Thomas for drama. "Hello, Thomas."
Thomas raised an eyebrow at him. "Since when do you talk to me?"
"I just thought I could ask you for some advice. Do you have any tips for playing Veronica sawyer?"
This sparked his interest. "There's not much to it. She's a high school chick trying to fit in. Sort of a sassy girl next door."
"I see.." He nodded. "And I wanted to apologize for our prank last night. I remember how hard it was for John to have to raise his siblings."
"Forget about it. Lucy's a kid. These things happen." He pulled out his script. "So, are you okay with Dead Girl Walking? Because we're going to have to practice that scene at some point and I don't want it to be awkward when we do." As if he cared. He only had to be nice to Lafayette.
Laf couldn't help but shudder a bit ,though he was able to keep it to himself. "It's just acting. No harm done. I'm sure Herc won't mind."
Thomas nodded. "You're right. He shouldn't."
Before Lafayette could comment on what Jefferson was obviously trying to do, Eacker stumbled in, apologizing for being late once again before announcing their roles. Of course, Lafayette was Veronica Sawyer and Thomas Jefferson was Jason Dean.
"See? You know me. It won't be so bad."
Though, of course, it was the fact that Lafayette knew him that made it bad.
"What scene are you two talking about?" Eacker asked as he passed the pair.
"Dead Girl Walking. Just hoping it won't be too awkward."
Eacker smiled. "Well, nothing like breaking the ice."
Wait, what?
"We're all friends here. We were going to head on stage anyways to practice a few scenes. Why not this one?"
Oh, god, were they really doing this now? Lafayette stood up and took a deep breath before following everyone out to the auditorium. It's just acting.
Thomas was too busy texting to worry.
[i dnt like tis] [im scared] [pls dnt taek it owt on laf] [i jst dnt want 2 go hoem w/ u] [sorry sory sorry] [nything els, u got it] [jus dnt ruin drma 4 laf] [dnt go neer Jhon] [John*] [pls] [pls] [pls]
[No. We've got a deal, babe. I'll behave if you do as I say. Laf's acting now; y'sure you wanna go back on this nooooow? 😉 xx]
[nO] [pls] [leev hm aloen] [il b good] [its fien] [il go w/ yu] [srry]
[Good choice 💗 xx]
Alexander changed the password on the phone to some complicated pattern before putting it down on the bed... then beginning to tremble. He hopped up from the bed before practically sprinting across to Lafayette's room and launching himself at John. Poor Rosie barely had time to leap out of the way. She hissed disapprovingly as she knocked her paw before returning to her basket as Alexander buried his face in John's chest, shaking like a leaf. He kept his arms wrapped around John's waist in the same vice like fashion he had before when he was scared John would leave him.
John didn't ask any questions. He didn't have to ask what happened. He had a good feeling. He texted Jefferson to confirm his beliefs. [What did you do to Alex? Leave him alone. If you're doing this to hurt me, just come after me instead. If you're not, come after me anyways. Leave him out.]
Thomas chuckled. How cute. But he couldn't respond yet. He got on stage with Lafayette and watched him act as the song began.
"The demon queen of high school has decreed it. She says Monday, 8 am I will be deleted. They’ll hunt me down in Study Hall, stuff and mount me on the wall. Thirty hours to live. How shall I spend them? I don’t have to stay and die like cattle. I could change my name and drive up to Seattle. But I don’t own a motorbike. Wait, here’s an option that I like. Spend these thirty hours getting’ freaky! Yeah! I need it hard, I’m a dead girl walking! I’m in your yard, I’m a dead girl walking! Before they punch my clock, I’m snappin’ off your window lock. Got no time to knock, I’m a dead girl walking." As much as Lafayette dreaded the scene, he wasn't about to half ass it.
"V-veronica..? What are you doing in my room...?" It was... unclear if Thomas was acting or not. It was either excellent acting ability... or Lafayette had genuinely caught Thomas off guard and scared him half to death. Either way, it certainly fit the role.
"Shh!" Lafayette looked back at Thomas with a sultry expression, grabbing his shirt collar. "Sorry, but I really had to wake you. See, I’ve decided I must ride you ‘till I break you ‘cause Heather says I gotsta go. You’re my last meal on Death Row. Shut your mouth and lose them tighty whiteys! Come on! Tonight I’m yours! I’m your dead girl walking." He pushed him down to his knees, lost in the role. "Get on all fours, kiss this dead girl walking. Let’s go, you know the drill. I’m hot, and pissed and I'm on the pill. Bow down to the will of a dead girl walking." He kneeled down and held his face. "And you know, you know, you know, it’s cause you’re beautiful. You say you’re numb inside but I can’t agree. So the world’s not fair? Keep it locked out there. In here it’s beautiful! Let’s make this beautiful!"
"Shh!" Lafayette looked back at Thomas with a sultry expression, grabbing his shirt collar. "Sorry, but I really had to wake you. See, I’ve decided I must ride you ‘till I break you ‘cause Heather says I gotsta go. You’re my last meal on Death Row. Shut your mouth and lose them tighty whiteys! Come on! Tonight I’m yours! I’m your dead girl walking." He pushed him down to his knees, lost in the role.
Thomas felt his knees click as he dropped, but it was totally worth it. Lafayette looked an image of perfection and coupled with those lyrics... Thomas felt like he could take him there and then.
"Get on all fours, kiss this dead girl walking. Let’s go, you know the drill. I’m hot, and pissed and on the pill. Bow down to the will of a dead girl walking." He knelt down and held his face.
It took all of Thomas' restraint not to go back on his 'deal' with Alexander. Whether or not getting in Lafayette's pants was his focus, he was undeniably gorgeous.
"And you know, you know, you know, it’s cause you’re beautiful. You say you’re numb inside but I can’t agree. So the world’s not fair? Keep it locked out there. In here it’s beautiful! Let’s make this beautiful!"
"Th-that works for me!" He exasperated before yanking Lafayette into a kiss. It was rough and messy... but at least it fit the scene.
It was going to take the power of every god to wash that taste from Lafayette's mouth. It tasted like.. Like.. Jefferson. And he hated it. But he didn't act like it. He kissed back just as roughly because it wasn't Lafayette kissing Thomas, it was Veronica kissing JD. And it was too late to back out then, so he kissed back and continued the song afterwards. "Yeah! Full steam ahead! Take this dead girl walking!
"How'd you find my address?"
"Let’s break the bed! Rock this dead girl walking!"
"I think we tore my mattress!"
"No sleep tonight for you! Better chug that Mountain Dew!"
"Okay, okay.."
"Get your ass in gear! Make this whole town disappear!"
"Okay, Okay!"
"Slap me, pull my hair! Touch me there, there, and there!" Lafayette didn't know what was worse, the fact that Thomas' hands were all over him or the fact that he was the one guiding them. At least he got to slap him. "No more talking!"
"Woah!"
"Love this dead girl walking!"
"Woah, woah! Hey, hey! Yeah, yeah!"
"Love this dead girl walking!"
"Love this dead girl! Woah, woah! Hey, hey! Wait, wait!"
They finished out the song in sync. "Love this dead girl! Yeah, yeah, yeah!"
"Ouch!"
"YEAH!”
“YEAH!"
As soon as the song was over, Lafayette got off of Thomas and caught his breath, smiling at the class a bit. He knew they did amazing. And he hated it.
Thomas looked like a mess. His hair was sticking up all directions and his face was glowing crimson. Thomas was no virgin, but he hadn't expected Lafayette to carry out the scene so well, or convincingly. He pulled himself to his feet, joining the applause for Lafayette and himself before offering a hand to help pull Lafayette up from the floor.
"See? You're both fine. Nothing to worry about." Eacker chirped with praise. "It helps when it's a friend there, right?"
"Right." Thomas piped back before returning back to his seat with Lafayette. "...so do I owe you a cigarette or...?" He laughed lightly, attempting to tidy his hair.
Lafayette rolled his eyes, holding his arms that much closer against his chest.
When class drew to a close, Thomas put his script back into his rucksack and swung it over his shoulder. "You're a great actor, Laf. Really. I mean that. I'll catch you tomorrow.," he complimented before waving him off and leaving the room, finally texting John back. [/I've/ done nothing. I haven't seen him today. Besides, he's /your/ boyfriend. You fix him xxx]
As Lafayette followed behind him, surrounded by his classmates, he felt conflicted. He loved acting, but it felt wrong doing that scene with Jefferson.
When Lafayette came out of the classroom, surrounded by various other drama members full of praise and compliments, Hercules bit his lip. This was something Lafayette was 1. Obviously passionate about and 2. Very good at. Hercules's jealousy would have to step aside. Instead, he greeted Lafayette with a supportive smile, pretending he hadn't just seen that scene. "Hey you! Someone's popular!" He hummed. "John headed back to yours early to see Alex. Are you ready to go?"
He nodded and faked a smile. "Yes. Let's go." He kissed his cheek and walked home with him.
When John and Alexander heard the pair arriving, the latter froze up a bit. Not only did they have the talk to do, but he hadn't gotten around to apologizing to Lafayette and he believed him to still be mad.
They entered the room and mumbled a few greetings before sitting down, even Rosie leaving the room as she sensed the tense atmosphere.
John was the first to break the silence.
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efffeverything · 3 years
Text
a summary of events
recently (like past 4-5 days) ive been feeling very emotionally drained, probably from a combination of watching the wrong things and spending too much time inside and sleeping all the daylight away. now im feeling a little stuffed, and a little too lazy, even for me. im starting to feel bad about relaxing and doing “nothing”. jenny was telling me how this world is sort of tailored to make people feel bad about relaxing (capitalism) and shes right. looking back, ive had a rough couple of years. so im summarizing those events here so i can always look back and remember that although im a little uh defective i suppose, i did have some tough times so i shouldnt feel bad about needing an extended period of relaxation, even if that period is months long.
2018 fall med school started and somewhere in october/november time, i plunged into a horrendous anxiety. it was so so bad that i couldnt sleep until i was so tired i couldnt keep my eyes open anymore, and even then i had to have some video playing to help me sleep. i had to have some sort of sound on at all times because otherwise it would feel like my thoughts were racing and there was too much going on, even though i was in silence. 
after a few months and more weird times (like that weird therapy session), somewhere along the line that terrible anxiety faded (thankfully), but then i started feeling empty. i didnt feel anything and i didnt want to do anything. that led to me not studying for an exam at all and failing that exam. then started a series of downward events. from therapy to having to meet with school counselors (which honestly hurt more than helped), to recognizing that i was very deeply depressed, to starting antidepressants, all while struggling very very hard to study at all, and failing another exam. i got to go to japan which was very nice but also kinda felt bad for going.
then 2020 started. i had to remediate two exams while studying for step1, and i was realizing that i hadn’t learned very much the past two years (compared to prob 99 percent of my classmates) and i was still struggling to study long hours per day. i wanted to push back my date but my school refused (assholes) but then corona hit and then times were weird. i didnt know when i would get to take my exam and studying was still hard so i studied here and there on and off and it wasnt great studying but i eventually took that exam and didnt do so great.
then bam i started surgery and m3 year. i failed that shelf due to errors in my studying ways and for the rest of the year until i remediated that exam, i felt the weight of that failure very hard. also every single break i had to study, or felt like i had to study. i was one of the few that had a shelf right after thanksgiving so i felt the pressure to study there, and then over winter break i had to study for the remediated exam. all this time no matter what i was doing i felt pressure to study and felt like a failure.
after i finished that i thought i was free. but then i got bad evaluations in a clerkship that caused me to fail that one. those evaluations were huge bs and it was a very very long, draining and mentally and emotionally taxing process that ended up with me passing the clerkship but the toll that it took on me was massive. like really massive and thinking about it gives me some ptsd. adding to that issues with setting up my gap year, finding out a really hurtful lie from hide, and having to study for step2 all together, i was heavy in the suicidal ideation at that time. then june 14th i was free.
now ive done work here and there but nothing compared to these past 3 years. after listing all of this, i do feel better. it has been rough for me. even if others have it worse, i dont think anyone can argue that this is still a stressful time, and if i am blessed enough and able to catch a break, i should take it. 
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lou-bonfightme · 7 years
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Toulouse Henri Bonfamille - Character Sheet
if you get sleep or if you get none / the cock's gonna call in the morning, baby / check the cupboard for your daddy's gun / red sun rises like an early warning / the lord's gonna come for your first born son / his hair's on fire and his heart is burning / so go to the river where the water runs / wash him deep where the tides are turning...
Archetype — The Caregiver Birthday — May 10, 1995 Zodiac Sign — Taurus MBTI — ENTJ Enneagram — 3, the Achiever Temperament — Choleric  Hogwarts House — Slytherdor Moral Alignment — True Neutral Primary Vice — Pride Primary Virtue — Diligence Element — Earth
Overview:
Mother — Adelaide Bonfamille (nee LaBlanc) (Portia de Rossi FC) Father — Hector Bonfamille (Tony Goldwyn) Mother’s Occupation — socialite Father’s Occupation — politician Family Finances — wealthy Birth Order — oldest child Brothers — Berlioz Bonfamille (Matt Hitt FC, 20, Birthday: June 20, 1997) Sisters — Marie Bonfamille (Olivia Holt FC, 17, Birthday: April 22, 2000) Other Close Family — Maternal Aunt: Duchess LaBlanc Best Friend — Hades Other Friends — Sophie, Daisy Enemies — Roger, Perdita, literally so many people tbh Pets — A cat that is not his. Also his plants.   Home Life During Childhood — emotionally manipulative/abusive; argumentative with father; parental disagreements; was put in charge of younger siblings Town or City Name(s) — Paris, France Details of Town(s) or City(s) — loved the river and parks, only place he had refuge What Did His or Her Bedroom Look Like — rather plain, big windows, bright, painted a cream color, not a lot of toys but an easel and paints in one corner, a large desk with art supplies. Any Sports or Clubs — nope, he focused solely on his art. Favorite Toy or Game — didn’t really play a lot of games, but he liked building legos with his siblings, or reading to them. Schooling — did excellently in school Favorite Subject — science (especially biology), though he has a fondness for literature as well. Popular or Loner — loner, but girls liked him alot; he had the broody bad boy thing going on, which annoyed him immensely. Important Experiences or Events — moving to Swynlake Health Problems — undiagnosed manic depressive; some minor PTSD and agoraphobia Culture — french, and proud of it. Religion and beliefs — raised catholic, attending church mainly to keep up appearances, he finds parts of religion very beautiful, but also calls bullshit on most of it; he’s too logical and scientific to really find any sort of comfort in it; respects those who are religious though; has a predisposed inclination to dislike muslims based on rhetoric and a lack of proper understanding about the religion.
Physical Appearance:
Face Claim —  Freddy Carter Complexion — pale and freckly! Hair Colour — Russet Eye Colour — Green Height — 6′0 Build — slight and tall Tattoos — none and never will Piercings — none Common Hairstyle — perfectly styled 90% of the time, if you catch him without his hair styled he really likes you. Clothing Style — the Most fashionable, very flamboyant, lots of colour Mannerisms — tucks his hands behind his back when he’s nervous or being respectful, if he’s embarrassed his ears turn red Usual Expression —
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Health:
Overall (do they get sick easily)? — not since he’s become a werewolf, but he never really got sick Physical Ailments — none Neurological Conditions — bipolar II Allergies —  none Grooming Habits — grooms better than some of my girls lmao. takes very good care of himself--when he’s not in a depressive state, then he has more trouble, but if he’s going out he’ll still go through the motions. Sleeping Habits — terrible sleeper. has really bad insomnia. is up late a lot, sleeps in late a lot. wakes up a lot throughout the night. tosses and turns. has trouble falling asleep. Eating Habits — super picky eater. when depressive/manic sometimes doesn’t eat that much Exercise Habits —  lmao what exercise Emotional Stability — off his meds? like a 2/10, on his meds he’s closer to a 6/10 probably.  Body Temperature — normal Sociability — very charming, knows what to say to get people to like him. that doesn’t always mean he says those things lol Addictions — none really?  Drug Use — smokes pot, doesn’t do other drugs thank god that’d be so bad Alcohol Use — drinks more than he should
Your Character’s Character:
Bad Habits — what habits are not bad habits? Thinking he is right about everything, pointing out people’s flaws, getting in fights, generally believing he knows better than everyone else, not feeling out his emotions, withdrawing when things get tough, not speaking to anyone about things that suck in his life, taking on all challenges alone, i could go on... Good Habits — he’s a good brother, he takes care of his siblings, he takes care of himself, for the most part; he’s an excellent studier; he’s very loyal once you win his loyalty Best Characteristic — his unfaltering loyalty Worst Characteristic — his lack of ability to properly communicate his emotions Worst Memory — all the times he had to hide in the closet, or his father sent him to bed with no dinner and kept him there for hours Best Memory — his siblings being born Proud of — his siblings, his art (sometimes) Embarrassed by — not much, honestly. When people catch him having a proper emotion Driving Style — doesn’t drive but he’d be a total soccer mom Strong Points — his loyalty. It’s unwavering and uncompromising Temperament — volatile Attitude — melancholic. Weakness — not being emotionally vulnerable. Seriously, it would solve so many of his issues Fears — not being good enough, being unlovable, worried that he will always be horribly bitter Phobias — pfft nothING (jk he’s lowkey afraid of storms) Secrets — lmao so many where to start? Mostly that he actually does crave affection Regrets — lol everything; probably the biggest is being so hard on ber during their teen years Feels Vulnerable When — he’s having emotion Pet Peeves — god where do i start? People who dont say what’s on their mind Motivation — protecting his siblings is his main motivation Short Term Goals and Hopes — he doens’t really have any im realizing this rn Long Term Goals and Hopes — also does not have many here Sexuality — grey asexual, biromantic (he could be either rly) Exercise Routine  — pfft exercise is for the weak Day or Night Person — night owl Introvert or Extrovert —  introverted extrovert lou really does thrive in a crowd but needs a lot of recharge time after Optimist or Pessimist — pessimist highkey
Likes and Styles:
Music — Classics. Classical. Stuff with not a lot of lyrics. Though, he’s also fond of the Opera. He really likes Faust and Don Giovanni. Also, he secretly likes a couple of musicals--Les Miserables and Cats are probably his favourites, though he very rarely indulges in them. Books — Candide by Voltaire is his favourite novel, he’s read it several times. He is a fan of the gothic period, he enjoys books like The Phantom of the Opera. Is not a huge Victor Hugo fan because he finds him a bit wordy, but he does like Hunchback of Notre Dame. He prefers concise language in his novels, but also likes beautiful imagery. He’s an avid reader. Magazines — He reads National Geographic and TBH probably gets a copy of Vogue, as well as a few museum magazines, just to keep up with the art scene. Foods — Lou is not a very big sweets person, he prefers richer foods. His favorite is frozen grapes--red or green, that doesn’t really matter. He’s almost always snacking on grapes. Drinks — Lou loves champagne. He also is an avid drinker of water. Animals — Lou loves birds, they’re his favorite. He’s also a fan of reptiles. And he has a particular interest in dinosaurs. Sports — Lol. Social Issues — Lou takes a bit of a middle road on these issues. There are things that he is rather passionate about--such as LGBTQIA rights (this is a recent development), but he also has some rather...unethical opinions about things like immigration that he usually keeps to himself because he knows that they are contentious subject. Favorite Saying — “Chacun voit midi à sa porte” Translation: Everyone sees noon on his doorstep. Basically, everyone views the world the way that they view it. Color — Ah, he cannot choose--but he does gravitate to warmer, earth colors in his paintings, oranges and reds and browns. Clothing — Lou is extremely fashionable and he always is dressed impeccably. He loves color and very rarely wears dull ones. Jewelry — Not a huge fan of jewlery, I’m sure he has a nice watch though, that his father gave him. Games — Chess. Puzzles. Things that challenge the mind. Websites — Eh, he’s got a tumblr blog, and he’s #instafamous so. TV Shows — Lou doesn’t watch television enough to have favorite shows but he detests reality shows and probably watches them with his brother to make fun of people. Movies — Lou doesn’t watch movies often, but he loves good cinematography. Also, documentaries. Especially nature and historical ones. (Also loves Legally Blonde on the lowkey.) Greatest Want — To be needed. Greatest Need — To learn to embrace his emotions.
Where and How Does Your Character Live Now:
Home — lives at his mother’s home in Swynlake Household furnishings — very modern, aligned with the latest Parisian fashion. Favorite Possession — his art studio, does that count?? Most Cherished Possession — the drawer of arts and crafts that lou kept from his siblings when they were little. Neighborhood — the woods, very posh Town or City Name — Swynlake Details of Town or City — small magic friendly Married Before — to Anita Dearly, long story. Significant Other Before — none. Children — none. Relationship with Family — close with his siblings, though closer with Marie than Berlioz, a bit of a momma’s boy, and has a cordial relationship with his father, is very close with his life-long nanny, Nounou. Car — none. Career — will probably be an artist; should be a surgeon. Dream Career — surgeon he just doesn’t know it yet Dream Life — a successful magical animal treatment center, where he can also practice his art on the side; very little chance of having a family but deep down would love a wife/husband and children, maybe he’ll adopt. (he does not know any of this.) Love Life — a hot mess; tries not to develop feelings for people. Talents or Skills — painting, obviously Intelligence Level — he’s very intelligent and observant Finances — wealthy af
Your Character’s Life Before Your Story:
Past Careers — he’s been a student. Past Lovers — many; mostly one night stands, very few repeats Biggest Mistakes — being so hard on ber in secondary; marrying anita. Biggest Achievements — uhmmmmm his art has hung in several galleries
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feverhalo · 7 years
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Teaser dump! Because I am an incredibly slow writer and want to give tumblr followers some sort of little boon for being cool and following me here
its a long post cause im teasing like 5 or 6 stories here. if the readmore doesnt work on mobile lemme know and I’ll try and fix it.
1 rule- no reposting anywhere please. these are teasers for the next parts of fics i’ll put up once i get them to a postable state. some of them i want to fully complete before breaking into chapters so you guys dont have to wait as long for updates, others I just got stalled out on and havent made progress in weeks.
theyre all VLD or FMA in here. I have a few ideas jotted down for Natsume too but havent gotten them started. I also just caught up on the new season and want to rewatch it some to get better characterization for some of the others.
Post Immunization pt2 FMA
“Brother? Brother, I know you’re tired, but you can’t sleep in the car any more.” Ed swiped his hands over his face. Everything felt warm and foggy except for the splitting headache he had and a rather uncomfortable heaviness in his arm pulsing low pain up his good shoulder. In short, not the nicest thing to wake up to. He mumbled out a jumbled mess of what he thought to Al.
“I know it isn’t very nice brother, but you don’t have to swear at me about it.” Ed shrugged, continuing to swipe the cool metal of his automail over his face as he let his flesh arm fall back to rest between him and the seat. Alphonse reached over the seat between himself in the back and his brother to nudge at Edward and disrupt him from curling back up and sleeping again. “We stopped and got dinner, and you might prefer being inside overnight, the military parking lot isn’t a proper place to sleep.”
“Don’t leave me in the parking lot,” Ed’s forehead creased and he took on a whining tone. “Geeze what kind of asshole-“
“If you get out now, you won’t have to go back to the parking lot. If I knew you’d prefer sleeping in a car over my oh so generous offer I really would have let you, you know.”
“That kind of asshole then.” Ed rolled himself up to sitting, bracing a hand on his aching head. A shiver quaked across his shoulders as he stumbled out into the evening air.
Turnabout Is Fair Play pt3 VLD
“Is he okay?”
“What do you think made that happen so quickly?”
“Is Lance going to be in bed all day?”
“Guys,” Shiro held up his hands, pleading. He pointed to the pathetic spread on the table, “Eat first. I don’t want us all neglecting ourselves when our energy needs to be there.”
They all sat and pulled hot cups over to themselves and rooted through the breakfast offerings. Pidge grabbed some sort of chip-like snack, Hunk took some of the burned toast and a fruit from the dish, and Keith uncrossed his arms long enough to pull some of the toast to his plate as well. Shiro waited for the crinkling of the packaging to quiet before he spoke.
“It got pretty bad, he was pretty dehydrated from the mission, and I guess between that and his fever… Anyway, he’s doing okay. Still a pretty nasty fever, but its not dangerous and he’s got water and medicine. Still sleeping, last I saw, which is good because it means he is resting and not in distress. I think the plan is going to be that he’ll stay in the med bay area for today. I don’t want you guys sneaking down there until he’s awake and decides he is up for it.”
“He’s okay, for real though?” Hunk was starting to fidget stiffly and uncomfortably.
A prompt that is unnamed as of yet VLD
The plumes of smoke were highly corrosive in nature, from the readouts on screen. Nothing in the atmosphere was welcoming to human life, and while the ocean here was a lovely lavender with waves that would make any surfer stare in stunned silence before rushing in- it was also extremely hostile to their human make up. Not to mention the huge shadows lurking beneath, and the huge scarred fins breaking the surface on occasion.
“You’re all doing wonderfully! There should be a gale of wind coming in from the south side in a few moments,” Coran crackled over the radio. “From my understanding this isn’t quite the ‘parasailing’ experience, but it is a much more advantageous training method for us!”
Even with their suits, the Lions, and all the careful planning and advanced technology, the stench of the volcano seeped into the cockpit of each Lion. Pidge was coughing harshly, trying to mute their line each time to spare the others. That tea from earlier had done wonders, for a while. But the acrid atmosphere, even if it was filtered well and none of the harmful particles were coming in, was so strong smelling it woke up the scratchy burning pain from earlier.
“Pidge! On your 7!” Hunk shouted during one of the coughing fits taking hold of Pidge. Below the green Lion the ground was starting to crack from the volcanic pressure and seeping smoke.
Pidge grabbed the controls with one hand, the other held in front of their helmet in reflex. One handed- they jerked Green out of the danger zone as the ground split and shot up hot vapors and flecks of molten minerals and bits of charcoaled vegetation still clinging to the surface. It wasn’t a pretty dodge by any means, but it did the job. The turn ended a little roughly, and Pidge was slammed into the side of the pilot seat, but other than that they were fine. Pidge took a deep breath after the fit subsided.
“Thanks Hunk-“ They cleared their throat before realizing the comm was still off. Pidge flicked it back on before repeating, “Thanks Hunk. Saved my tail there, literally.” Green flicked her tail around to show her thanks as well.
Ed Whump 2 Electric Boogaloo (working title will be changed) FMA
Upon arriving at the Hughes' residence, Gracia gasped, dropping the doll she had been holding when the door opened to show the two of them. Dirt caked and bandaged as Ed was, the Colonel was also battleworn, clothing torn in some places and with the dust of alchemic reactions stuck to his face and uniform. Elicia was still off on the background, her happy little voice filtering through the open door.
"Sorry to show up in such a sorry state," Roy gave her a lopsided grin. "I do not intend to impose, but I can't speak for the brat."
Ed swatted at the hand Roy had used to gesture in his direction. Throughout the walk Ed's energy flagged further, and he was left panting and speechless. He resorted to short, snapped comments and commands or simply swatting lightly at Roy with the automail. They had to stop a few times, even going as far as sitting down for twenty minutes on a bench after a stumble that caused Ed a hot flash of pain that left him nauseated. His bruised ribs were not making the trek easier.
"Oh, nonsense. Ed and Alphonse never impose," She gave Ed a smile. It seemed lost on him, he was trying to catch his breath and avoid pain at the same time. His eyes were glassy and he was sweating slightly. The fever the doctor had warned about was visible on his pink cheeks by now as well. "Come on in."
"Thank you," with that, she stepped aside and Roy walked in with Ed following. Mustang casually undid his jacket and hung it on the hook and respectfully undid his shoes and set them to the side.
Ed stomped on the heel of his boots and tugged his feet from them, bracing himself on the wall with his automail hand. That accomplished, he pushed them with his foot to the side and left them in a heap. Ed carefully worked his jacket off his injured shoulder and let it slide off his automail arm to the floor. Roy leaned down to pick it up after Ed gave it a half-hearted kick to try and fling it on top of his boots.
Ed Whump-in-progress 1  FMA
He grabbed a seat, kicking his feet up to rest on the edge of the seat across so he could use his legs as a tale to hold his journal. While they were in transit, he and Al may as well go over what they’ve learned so far to see if they may be able to gather anything while on this assignment.
The Elric brothers drifted into their own world going over their notes, and the rest of the group climbed aboard and the train started in motion after everything and everyone was accounted for.
Edward’s attention turned further away from his meal and their current destination as he and Alphonse nit-picked over small details and things they had learned through their travels so far, and soon found himself getting uncomfortable on the hard seat. Slowly the sounds of the rest of the military group in the cab trickled into his awareness, and he zoned out to a game of cards Falman and Furey had been playing together.
“Ah, they return to the world outside of alchemy. You guys excited for this?” Breda  was leaning over the seat ahead of theirs, watching them seemingly oblivious to everything as they hummed and hawed over their research.
“Yes, as much as I can be. I am really thankful that Colonel Mustang is allowing me to ride along. I understand its a really big favor,” Alphonse rubbed at the back of his helmet. “I’m very sure brother is thankful for it as well. We have a lot to go over.”
“Yeah.” Ed leaned back, wondering when he started feeling so exhausted. “He’s not being an ass about it, surprisingly.” He stared out the window for a few minutes, zoning out again. The sky was changing to a dusky purple, and with belated interest he noted the wall lamps lighting up. The motion of the train was adding to his exhaustion, making it hard to keep his eyes open. 
Alphonse encouraged his brother to sleep, and kept himself occupied joining the others in card games and listening to the stories they told. Edward rested his head against the glass, drifting off as the kilometres flew by. Hours passed and Alphonse found himself awake alone after a while. He watched his brother sleep, fitfully at times, with his forehead pressed to the glass leaving a foggy halo. He read some to pass the time, some notes and parts of the lighter novels he had started. 
Ed stirred eventually, stretching his legs forward with a groan. His eyes opened and he blinked a few times before registering Alphonse across from him.
“Mornin’ Al,” he mumbled checking the horizon. The dark sky dotted with pinprick stars drifted by behind the speeding scenery. “Can you open the window for a bit? ‘S hot in here.” 
“You can sleep more, brother.” Alphonse stood as quietly as he could to crack the window as his brother ran his hands over his face, shuddering as he tried to hold back a yawn. Ed nodded, seeming to miss the words entirely as he sat up straighter and stretched a bit more.
“In a bit,” he swallowed, “weird dreams. Its kinda stifling in here, could use the air.” Ed pulled his legs up onto the seat. He felt so sore, how long had it been? He searched his pockets for his watch.  
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ive checked all state geico progressive state farm aig 21 century liberty mutual and esurance. r there any out there that ive missed? im a student and on a very strict budget so i need the best deal possible. thanks!
Car insurance for a 19 year old?
So my dad bought me a 2004 Mercedes Benz C320 Sport today and he is thinking of putting me under his insurance. I want to find out how much insurance is going to be be, since I want to help out as much as I can because I don't want to be a dousche. I am looking for an insurance that covers everything. Anyways, I am 19 years old, college student, 3.2 GPA, living in Irvine, CA, and have never been in a traffic accident. This is going to be my daily driver (40 miles a week), and it is kept in a garage. Thank you for your help and I hope I was clear. http://1webproxy.cn/car-insurance.html""
How do Americans with serious chronic medical conditions get medical insurance that covers all med. expenses?
How do Americans with serious chronic medical conditions get medical insurance that covers all med. expenses?
Car Insurance Question?
I'm a 16 year old girl with a car, and I wanted to know how much my car insurance price will range in. I'll be driving a white sedan (say a Corolla/Mazda 3, 2005-2007). How much will be my car insurance?""
Motorcycle Insurance?
I am looking at a red 2007 Honda Shadow VLX. I'm a 21 year old female, I'm on State Farm with my car, living in Lake Charles, which is probably one of the bigger cities in Southwest Louisiana. Just wondering what average cost might be to insure this bike. Like, minimum or if it's totaled. I only have one speeding ticket from a year ago on my record I believe. Thanks!""
Does my credit score affect my car insurance costs?
Someone told me it did... but that just doesn't make sense!
Can I accept my works health insurance coverage if I am still under my dad's health insurance?
I am covered under my dad's health insurance, I recently got promoted at work and wanted to take that insurance as well. I wasn't sure if I could use both at the same time or if I needed to call my dad's insurance first or which one would be primary?
Where could I get some cheap but good health insurance?
We need health insurance really bad but everything seems way too expensive and when I google it a hundred different sites come up and its hard to decide which one is for real and which one is going to be a lisas of crap. my husband doesn't make but about 400 dollars a week and I am currently unemployed and In college. Help me!!!
My cousin wants to go on my insurance?
i have my own third party insurance for my own car, my cousin owns a van but cant seem to get insurance because he has 5 convictions so he wants me to take out insurance on his van and go on my insurance, does anyone have any ideas on insurance companies for him or can anyone tell me if i agree to do what he wants will anything he do affect my insurance costs in the future?""
Whats the best landlords insurance?
we are looking for landlords insurance for a property rented to our local council. Which would you recommend?
""Which is cheaper for liability insurance, in Alabama: Geico, The General, or 21st Century?""
I am buying a little beater, just need some el cheapo liability..cant compare w/o VIN number, don't have that yet..""
""Is insurance on a kitcar cheaper than a standard car,ie,toyota mr2 with ferrari body kit,?""
Is insurance on a kitcar cheaper than a standard car,ie,toyota mr2 with ferrari body kit,?""
""If you buy a car that's been in an accident will this affect your insurance rate? If so, why?""
I want to purchase this car. I think it's a great price, but the dealer told me it's been in an accident and that insurance paid for the damages. Since it's on record and if I were to buy it would my car insurance rate be affected??""
Why does my car insurance cost too much?
I am 19 and just passed my test (UK). I have a 1.0 liter Micra and I have put my details in confused.com comparison website. The quotes I am getting are around 4000. Is this right ? it seems too much. Any ideas?
How much would insurance cost for my moped?
So I'm going to be 16 soon and I'm going to get a 50cc moped. Could someone tell me what the average cost of insurance would cost please? Thanks
Drive like a girl insurance help?
Im due to take my driving test next month (all goes well) and my parents are VERY keen to get the cheapest insurance quote possible (they are arabs, they will find it.. lol) Anyway I have recently discovered the 'drive like a girl' insurance company and after reading through it decided it looked really good. as I haven't got my full license yet I cant get a quote from them, so for anyone who has insurance with them- could you please give me a price estimate?! I live in a good area just outside of London so im lucky with my quotes. I have an X Reg Ford Ka and most of my quotes have been around 2000 but I have had one at 1600 and another at 1795. Both of those were without telematics box which is why im looking at one now. I cant have one with time restrictions- mainly because I sometimes work until 11 at night and I also care for my sick brother who may need to be driven to the hospital in the middle of the night (would this matter?) Thanks guys for taking the time to read and answer this question.""
Which is the Best Life Insurance?
Which is the Best Life Insurance? Less investment, good returns, life coverage, Accident Benifit""
I'm tired of being an agent assistant. What other jobs can i find in the insurance industry?
I have a bachelor in marketing and i've been working as a licensed assistant to an insurance agent. I plan on working here at least another year, but I am interested in learning about other jobs in the industry since our corporate office is nearby. What are some other jobs i can look into? Just looking for ideas, thanks.""
Can I get cash instead of repairs for my auto insurance claim?
The damage to the car is from hail and I've already received an appraisal but I would like to know if I can get a check from my insurance company instead of getting the repairs done. Basically, do I have to spend the money on repairs or can I keep it?""
Insurance on financed vehicles?
is it true that after 3 yrs. of financing a vehicle you no longer need to purchase full insurance? you can only do liability insurance. Is that true I think someone said that is the case for Allstate Insurance.
Will the check from the auto insurance company be in my name or my mom's?
under name of insured it has my mom's name and my name. the car is in my name. I hit a car and the insurance company is sending a check for the repair costs after the deductible. will the check be in my name or my mom's name??
How much should life insurance cost per thousand?
for a middle aged person with no health issues.
Average costs for car insurance>?
I am a college student thinking about getting my first (used) car... probably a 10 year old model of Honda accord, and I was wondering how much would the insurance costs (month) be roughly as I have little idea about those?""
How to get into a new Car Insurance?
About 1.5 yrs back my wife scratched another car while parking. The claim was settled using insurance. The expense was about $1500. Ever since that the insurance company, AAA, has been increasing our premiums by abt $35 on every renewal. Now I cannot switch or shop with other insurance company since they give quotes much higher than this company. But apart from this one incident we do not have anything else on our record. Also I get discount for Home+Auto insurance. The company increased prices on our Home Insurance too. I am badly stuck with this company now. I would like to buy Auto+home from one company itself. But I really cannot move my Auto Insurance. Please give suggestions.""
Where can I buy the most affordable business liability insurance?
Hi there, I have a very small start up business and I am in need of liability insurance for a business. Does anyone know a good cheap company to use?""
How to get a lucrative income in health insurance?
does anyone do health insurance sales and what is the best way to excel at this profession
Does anyone know about ecar insurance?
I found it is cheap, but Is it good? http://www.ecarinsurance.co.uk""
Car insurance for a 16 year old?
Hey, I turn 16 in a month and ive had my permit for a year then and its time to get my license. How much (an estimate) would it cost to insure a 1999 Honda Civic LX with geico?""
Why are car insurance companies trying to make me go bankrupt?
Okay, this is extremely frustrating. I'm a 19 year old student, who works part time. I have all-state insurance full coverage, and I drive a 2001 toyota tacoma, which is paid off. And guess how much Allstate charges me every 6 months? $750!!!!!!!!!!!! That is absolutely ridiculous. These son of a bitches are totally ridiculous charging me that. I've never had a ticket, never been in an accident. And I don't care if i'm 19 that price is absolutely absurd for that car. I'm almost at the point where I just wanna go illegal and drive without insurance. I'm looking sleep every night over this I mean seriously do they think a 19 year old college student is made of money. And the funny thing is it's under my parents policy and its this much!!!""
Co op young drivers insurance (Smart box)?
Do co op young drivers insurance insure Cat C cars that have been repaired with vic certificate and log book? i called them twice and one person says they do but the other person said they don't so im confused on weather to buy the car or not? Thanks
Is it possible to get very short term car insurance?
My grandfather passed away about a month ago and i inherited his car. I've driven it for a few weeks planning on switching my insurance from one car to another. I have decided I want to insure both cars because no I plan on selling and or trading in both of them. My question is: 1) will my grandfathers old car stay insured until the end of his insurance period? (silly question which I'm sure is a no.) but mostly 2) is there any short term insurance that would last about one month at the most? I'm a college student with very little money, so I was hoping to find something affordable. I live in Pennsylvania""
Car insurance question?
I currently own a Peugeot 206 on which the insurance is due for renewal at the beginning of December and is going to cost me somewhere in the region of 800. I am now, however looking into buying a Golf which would cost me around 950 to insure if I was to start the policy from scratch. My question is if I go on to insure my Peugeot for 800, if I buy a Golf say, a month, afterwards will it cost me a lot more to change the car over or will it just be like the diference between the 2 quotes for a year? I really don't want to waste hundreds of pounds by changing the cars over a month or two into the policy.""
Can I accept my works health insurance coverage if I am still under my dad's health insurance?
I am covered under my dad's health insurance, I recently got promoted at work and wanted to take that insurance as well. I wasn't sure if I could use both at the same time or if I needed to call my dad's insurance first or which one would be primary?
""Can I buy a car under my name, and put it under my parents insurance policy?""
Ive been looking into purchasing a new vehicle, Im 18 and fresh out of high school and my car is okay, but its just a money pit. I want to put the car under my name to get a better intrest rate, but i cant afford paying expensive insurance policy. So can i purchase the car in my name and put it under my parents insurance policy?""
What kind of cars cost the least amount of money to insure?
I am a teenage driver and I am looking to get my first car. What kind of cars have lower insurance rates, and are still reliable? I plan on getting a used car from around 2006-2008.""
Is it possible to get insurance for my unborn child before he is born?
I have a good job ,but I miss the deadline to get company insurance. So I need some affordable insurance. I'm trying to get some before I get slamed with a big hospital bill.""
My insurance is like $300 a month...help?
I just got a free quote from whipers.com but my insurance is still a little high...what can I do to lower it to like $75 a month or is that not realistic?
Does anyone have term life insurance with primerica? Are rates with another company better?
Does anyone have term life insurance with primerica? Are rates with another company better?
What will my insurance company do about my car?
Last night we had server thunderstorms. There was golf-ball sized hail for about five minutes. I was parked on top of the garage. My windows are fine, but there are dents all over my car and my right side-view mirror is broken. My car is still in my mother's name, and the insurance company is State Farm. My parents are on a cruise right now and are supposed to be getting back tomorrow. I also go to UT and out-of-state school. I've heard other people on campus are getting new cars from their companies and others are just getting windows replaced. I haven't talked to anyone yet since the car is not in my name. My car is a 2001 chevy caviler. I don't know any of the details of the insurance policy.""
How much would you estimate a 16 year old driver would pay for insurance on a G35 coupe?
I'm currently 15 and, when I get my first car, would really like an Infiniti G35. I can find them in my set price range (>15000), but my parents are worried about the cost of insurance. My parents are covered .9under USAA currently with two vehicles. I have a 3.9 GPA, play sports, and, if given the opportunity, could use my natural wit and charisma to impress someone into lowering the price (I'm not sure if this is even a possibility, I'm just saying that if it is, I could do it). I wouldn't be getting the car until after my initial 6 months of restricted driving is finished. Once again, I'm not sure if this affects anything, but maybe you'd like to know. I appreciate any input.""
Will getting a refund on extended warranty and GAP insurance cause my interest to go up?
I just purchased a used car with 30% down payment. I noticed they charged me for GAP insurance and extended warranty and I asked them take it off. They are arguing getting a refund on them will cause my interest rate to go up because they used the purchase to bargain a lower interest rate. Is this true? If so, do I have to accept the higher interest rate? They say I can't return the car because it was already signed for but I don't want to buy at a higher interest rate either.""
""20 years old, considering seeking psychological help but have no health insurance and low income?""
I'm a 20 year old college student who works part-time at Best Buy. I consider myself intelligent and talented but I've had difficulty focusing for as long as I can remember and have struggled to self-motivate, or maybe just to see a point to anything, for at least the last 4 years. I'm tired of feeling this way and I want to do something about it, in the form of seeking professional psychological help, but I have no health insurance and very little income. I guess what I'm looking for is any government program that might throw me a bone, any kind of budget therapy, somewhere that might give me a free consultation or diagnosis so I'd at least know what I was dealing with, or just general empathy from people my age in a similar boat.""
Insurance companies?
Why do insurance companies charge motorists so much?
Which company does the cheapest car insurance?
I have moved house and when I changed my address the Insurance company wanted an additional premium of 298. As you can imagine I cancelled the policy. I am now looking for a cheap insurer I have golf GTI (150) and my new post code is classed as higher risk. any ideas ?
What kind of car insurance covers takeaway deliveries?
Hi, I am soon starting a (very) part-time job delivering chinese food one day a week, 5 hours. I have been trying to find out what sort of insurance I need for my car as I am only covered for SD&P. I got a quote for one company who insured for business use, but they wouldn't cover takeaway deliveries! And my current insurer doesn't do anything like it. I know that places like Domino's and Pizza Hut provide supplemental insurance for their drivers, but this place doesn't do anything of the sort and I don't want to get caught out, especially for something like this? Thanks :)""
Car insurance help?
I'm 46 (female) and just got my probationary license in northern NJ. Is it possible to get my own insurance. How much would you expect it to be since I have to wait a year to get my full license? 10 points
Which Local Car Insurance has best price in Las Vegas?
I have done my research but would like to know which local car insurance has the best deals? Thanks you for your time.
""Car insurance problem, please help!!?""
Hi, I just got my g2 and my parents won't let me drive yet because they aren't insured for me to use their cars. I understand that everyone's insurance is different, but according to your history with car insurance, how long will it take to set up? Also, how much money, roughly, will it be added on to my parent's insurance? I have plans very very soon to drive with friends and my girlfriend. Thanks.""
Affordable Senior homes?
what is the best place for seniors who live on their own and have health problems or have difficulty in taking care of themselves? Something that can be affordable in the same time.
Farmers insurance song?
What's the song from that farmers insurance commercial were there doing the driving simulation with distractions?
Address on insurance and car registartion is different?
One of my relative has the car insurance with his Buffalo, NY address and his car registration and license address at Brooklyn, NY. Most of the time he lives in Brooklyn. Is there any big problem if addresses are different? He changed the address on his insurance to save money on insurance premium.""
How much would insurance cost with a 2000 mustang convertible? HELP PLEASE!?
I'm a 16 yer old, and I have insurance with geico. I want to buy a 2000 ford mustang covertable. I was wonder if anyone knew about how much my familys insurance would go up. I realize I can call geico but my dad won't let me, ha. So any ideas? Thanks!""
Need braces insurance in california?
im trying to get braces and i need an insurance company that could help me pay for my braces.. please refer something to me thank you... im in souther california
What country has the best and most affordable health care system in the world?
it cannot possibly be the united states. in the united states the only ones that can afford healthcare probably cannot actually afford it, their insurance covers it. take away ...show more""
WHERE IN THE UK DOES CHEAPEST CAR INSURANCE AT THE MINUTE?
WHERE IN THE UK DOES CHEAPEST CAR INSURANCE AT THE MINUTE?
What is the best cat insurance in the uk?
What is the best cat insurance in the UK I can get for my 12 week old kitten?
Were do i get classic insurance for 91 calibra 4x4 turbo.?
Were do i get classic insurance for 91 calibra 4x4 turbo.?
How do I get car insurance for my 1972 VW Van????
I can get basic coverage for my van but not full coverage. Does anyone know where i can get full coverage for this van. I drive this van more than 12000 miles a year
Can I accept my works health insurance coverage if I am still under my dad's health insurance?
I am covered under my dad's health insurance, I recently got promoted at work and wanted to take that insurance as well. I wasn't sure if I could use both at the same time or if I needed to call my dad's insurance first or which one would be primary?
Car insurance in Ohio?
I'm getting a car soon (never had one before) and I know I need car insurance. I was looking at triple AAA, but they don't seem to have full coverage (the one where if you damage property etc. your insurance company pays for most of it). And it seems only good for old cars. I was wondering what the best insurance for new drivers in in Ohio? Also, do you need a credit card to get insurance? Thank you so, so much!""
Car InSuRaNcE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
if i buy a cheap second hand car and want 2 get insurance on it, how much will it cost?? Am 17 and a learner driver.. im buying the car to help me drive better individually. thanks""
Why do Norwich union offer really high insurance quotes and then refuse to price match ! am 31 have 4 years no
why do Norwich union offer really high insurance quotes and then refuse to price match ! am 31 have 4 years no claims that claim was due to a car fire so not much risk and their quote is 150 more than anyone else
How will my speeding ticket affect my insurance?
I am a Florida resident. I am temporarily in Colorado for work. Today I got a ticket for 80 in a 55 (looks like it's 6 points in CO). Currently, I pay around $100 per month for insurance (125k/250k) on two vehicles (2000 Chevrolet Blazer and 2011 Subaru Forester). How will this ticket affect my insurance?""
USAA auto insurance rates?
sorry to ask this in military but i figure yall will know best. i've noticed that since we've had usaa auto they have consistently gone up when our policy renews every 6 months. it's around 20-50 dollars every time. we have not had any tickets or accidents. when i call customer service they assure me it's nothing we've done and that everyone's rates are going up. i find this hard to believe. anyone else having this issue?
I have moved back to the UK after living in Italy for 30 years. Why are my car insurance quotes so high?
I passed my driving test in 1979 and received a full UK licence. After moving to Italy I had to convert to an Italian licence as I was resident there. I moved back to the UK in August, converted my licence back to a full UK and have been trying to find insurance at a reasonable price. My problem seems to be that I appear as having passed my test in August 2012 and my no claims bonus from Italy is not valid for UK insurers. First of all is this possible and do you think there's some way my driving experience and clean licence and insurance in Italy can be brought into play as I negotiate a new policy here? Thank you in advance for any advice. DI""
Is there such a thing as affordable health and dental insurance for someone that is 60 years old?
And in pretty good health? What company(ies) would you recommend. I live in Omaha, Nebraska United States. I currently pay $330 a month for PPO BCBS a month and it is killing me! Thanks""
Kit car insurance at 17?
Watching an old top gear episode where they showed an mr2 (love em) converted into a ferrari, something like a 430, they said that his premium decreased. I called up an insurance company today, im 17, looking to buy a toyota starlet and transfer all the panels from a glanza v onto the starlet but nothing from the engine bay, so it would be classified as a kit car? but no where near as high risk as not having better performance parts or the turbo added. The end result was me spending ages on the phone and them saying they wouldnt insure me, even though it is a kit car and no performance parts, please please please... can someone with better knowledge clarify why they would decline me when it should make it cheaper!! Ty Jordan""
How much will my insurance go up?
I was trying to merge onto the freeway when the lady in front of me made an inexplicable complete stop on the on ramp. I slammed on my brakes and rode the ABS down to about 15MPH when I hit her. Turns out she was on heroine, and CHP arrested her at the scene. The chippy's were really cool and said my situation was totally understandable , but said my insurance may not see it that way. (the damage to the crack head's car was minimal, and she was not injured) I'm not going to claim the damage to my car. I can fix it myself. So lets say with a little paint and body work, her repair cost is $1000.......how much will my insurance go up? I am 23, and have a flawless driving record until today.""
Cheap V8 cars to buy? (under $15k)?
I am looking to buy my first car in about April and I need something cheap to start with as I will be selling it for a better car once I make the money. I am going to start working after April so need a cheap car to get to work. I have always been interested in V8's because of the sound. I would like a 4 door too. What do you have in mind?
Car insurance?
how much would insurance for a 16 year old female cost for a 2000 Plymouth Neon Highline
How much does a broken wrist cost after insurance?
I have a paper from school and in it I must in include all details of a situation. My story line includes a child breaking their wrist. I was wonder what someone would have to pay after insurance? If you could help me be detailed as much as possible like how much would it be for like x rays, doctor visits, medicine, etc. I've never broken anything so Im a bit lost. Even just a average estimate would be appreciated.""
How much do you pay for car insurance and on what company?
Im tryign to find the cheapest.
How to get insurance check from mortgage when home owners did their own repairs?
Our home was flooded out in September. It completely flooded the basement and a few inches on the first floor of our ranch home. We had contractors replace the furnace and hot water heater and the electrical system. However, all the other repairs were made by our friends and families. We have all worked tirelessly for two months. The insurance company *finally* sent our check. The Mortagage company has the check and is telling us we need contractor estimates? We have completed all the work. The insurance company based the check and estimates knowing we were going to make the repairs ourselves. What should we do?""
Average rate for motorcycle insurance?
I am looking to buy my first motorcycle but before I do I need to figure out how much insurance will cost but to be honest I don't know much about motorcycle insurance. I was hoping if someone can tell me what the best deals will be. The bike will be a Suzuki SV650 if that helps and I am 22 year old college student. I know that it will be higher if I haven't payed the bike completely off yet and I am planning on taking a safety course so I think that will lower it, still... can anyone help me figure this out?""
Temporary car insurance for one day for 17 year old?
it's for a holiday, I believe it would be good driving experience, obviously I would have a qualified driver with me......""
""I dont have insurance or a source of income, help?""
I am eighteen years old and currently have no insurance and I am looking for a job but so far nothing. I have chronic migraine disorder and ptsd, I was on medication for both but after I turned eighteen I lost all insurance I had with my mother. i don't go to school nor can i afford to and i dont know what to do. Help?""
""Which is cheaper for liability insurance, in Alabama: Geico, The General, or 21st Century?""
I am buying a little beater, just need some el cheapo liability..cant compare w/o VIN number, don't have that yet..""
Car insurance cancellation?
I took out an insurance two days ago with a company called (i-kube car insurance). I've been told that I won't be able to drive between the hours of 11pm -5am and if i drive, i will have to pay 45 fine ( a GPS will be installed in my car). I've realised that the insurance is not cheap even though i used my pass plus to get discount. Tesco and Elephant car insurance are even cheaper. They took out my deposit immediately eventhough my insurance will not start till 2nd wk in February. Is it too late to cancel? I haven't received any paper document yet and their website lacks information about cancellation. What shall I do? Should i go with a different company? Would they tell me to pay cancellation fee? They've planned to fix the GPS to my car tomorrow but i haven't agreed to the time yet.""
How much on average is insurance on a 2005 chevy silverado 2500 or ford F-250?
Looking to buy one of these vehicles and wanted to see how much on average it is. Thanks!
What's do you pay for car insurance in your country?
My car insurance in N.Ireland is just over 200 or 346.97USD or 291.19 Euro or 15,351.16INR etc. Thats for an average 4 door saloon. I would like to compare that with other countries, if possible.""
HHEELLLPP!!!!! with TEEN car insurance!!!!?
I would like to either add a 17 year old to an insurance policy or get one specifically for him..... i called geico, but they said they dont insure teens!!! What can i do? THANKS""
""What are the medical tests, i have to go for insurance?""
what are the medical tests,i have to go for insurance, please provide a link if possible""
Car Insurance for 18 year old?
I am looking to buy my Daughter a small car, she is 18, what is the ideal car for me to buy, as insurance is the problem the cheapest we can find is 800 for a KA, valued at 500, thanks""
Flight connection insurance?
Does anyone know of a company I can buy flight connection insurance from? I am taking a trip with two separate airline tickets. If the first flight is delayed, I might forfeit the second ticket and be forced to buy a very expensive last minute ticket. All the policies I have found online are packages that include medical, lost baggage etc. which I'm not interested in. Also, the companies I've found that offer missed connection insurance only offer meals and accomodation (not transportation) or have a limit too low to cover buying a new ticket.""
Can I accept my works health insurance coverage if I am still under my dad's health insurance?
I am covered under my dad's health insurance, I recently got promoted at work and wanted to take that insurance as well. I wasn't sure if I could use both at the same time or if I needed to call my dad's insurance first or which one would be primary?
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/i-am-uninsured-insured-driver-hit-me-bruce-bradley/"
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Personal Update
Hiiiiiiiiiii……….. iiiI have absolutely no idea how to start this, but i guess the beginning is a pretty good start.
(Im not gonna lie i am absolute shit when it comes to talking about things in my life especially my health but im trying to work on that and hopefully use it to help educate in the future)
Il'l be honest this last year and a half-two years has been rough, no one ever tells you the sheer difference between just knowing about something and coming to terms with it being reality.
Growing up we always knew i had ADHD and even got that tested/medicated very quickly. But we also always knew i had Autism to some degree, unfortunately living in the south in the late 90s there weren’t many people willing to test/label a girl with that (things are ass backwards down here what can i say). What they don’t realize is its essentially social suicide by not getting me tested then because being the outcast of the outcast and not be able to offer explanations that does thing to people. But, At least we knew about it early on because i was able to do my own research over time and even found ways to work with people on the spectrum to better understand my own problems.
Now flash forward to the summer in between my 2nd and 3rd year of college, i can’t explain it but its like reality was playing catch up to the point that the DAY before my junior year was supposed to start I dropped out. Although i will admit at the time my reasoning was because of my mom having surgery and someone need to keep an eye on her for a bit. What I didn’t know however was giving my mind room to breathe finally would start sort of a domino effect of problems.
So now lets jump to the spring of 2016. I’ve had a lot going on both mentally and physically my whole life (especially right now) but for some reason one night as im sitting at a music festival camera in hand waiting on the main act to start i look around and for the first ever I felt like i was at home. You’d think that’d be a good thing right? Almost but not quite. Following that little realization i FINALLY got someone to get me tested and sure enough right in the middle of summer not even a week after Warped Tour, i got the answers I’d been waiting ages for. Not only did we finally have definitive diagnosis of Level 1 ASD we also found several things that had been lurking in my minds shadows (i.e. More anxiety, depression, insomnia, bi-polar, slight manic) which was fine but also felt like the entire floor had ripped out from under me with no warning.
Now, Ive dealt with depression off/on my whole life but it is TERRIFYING to be in an all out mental free fall and not even be aware of it at first. Im not even joking when i say i felt like i was going insane. I can say now though that I completely get why people love New Years. After months of trying to understand things and recalibrate meds we’d finally found a combo that works, and even driving that point home with me having a huge mental break through happened on New Years eve. As im typing this right now i can tell you my mental state is miles better than it was at the beginning of this year, theres still a lot of work to be done on my end but my self awareness and recognition has increased exponentially for someone late to the show here.
Oh, But wait! Theres more……….
Remember me saying there were physical problems occurring too? Well, around late 2015-all of 2016 I started having intestinal issues again which as someone who’s had ulcers before thats not something you want to feel again, ever. Except it wasn’t ulcers and after a shit ton of test we did determine it wasn’t my gallbladder either (s/o to my genetics), in the end it just kind of got chalked up to anxiety considering i had also been dealing with what we had thought was the start of TMJ (thanks mom).
And really that was pretty much the running theory up until February of this year happened. When i tell you my body has impeccable timing im beyond serious because literally TWO DAYS before my umptienth visit with the oral surgeon my jaw……well long story short, my jaw had been partially dislocating itself for a year until it finally just decided popped back into place on its own. Which yeah great that answers that problem, but the gut issues han only gotten significantly worse at this point. Spareing some details and numerous appointments, about mid spring this year we found out I actually have what is known as Auto-immune Pancreatitis, Sounds bad right? Because it is. Sad part is it would’ve been found a lot sooner too if it wasn’t for my almost inhuman pain tolerance. Even funnier is both EDS (associate with my jaw problem) and Pancreatitis are fairly common in Autistic and ADHD people (Story of my life at this point).
Were, still not done though!
Ontop of ALL of this ive also been getting significantly more frequent migraines, again not new in my life but it is something thats finally being paid proper attention to (kind of). Migraines aside, another problem being that my whole life i’ve always had a higher resting heat rate than most people, again very common in adhd people and athletes. Whats not common about it, is for my average to be 115bpm while sitting perfectly still and then jumping on its own all the way to 170bpm without me having moved an inch (bare in mind 115 for me is what 60 would be for most people so 170 is probably more like 130 in normal people).
Which bring me to the last couple of months here. Technical jargon and process aside we(my cardiologist) have fortunately found that it’s not a valve and it’s not a rythm problem but it is an electrical problem known as Sinus Tachycardia or laymens terms; my heart beats way to fast naturally and randomly speeds up on its own without any outside prompting. At this point in time the main goal is to figure the why i have some sort short circuit in my system and then the migraines and other things i haven’t mentioned can be dealt with.
And that “self tanner” photo (on insta), that is from me havin a LINQ montir placed in my chest so that my heart can be monitored 24/7. No i can’t feel it, yes i was awake, yes i mean my boob, no it doesn’t stay in forever it only has a battery life of about three years……
As for what this means in terms of the future of my photography: I’m not giving up on Beyond the Barricade I actually even have several ideas to make it so much better than what i originally had planned. But for right now i have to raise the caution flag and take a step back from basically everything in music. As much as i dont want too my health comes first and even if mentally im in a much better place physically its hard to even just get out bed most day and getting this sorted is my number one priority. Yeah, I might be down at the moment but i will be damned if i let life count me out. I’m still here I promise.
-JT
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/thiggy_/
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