#but i got tomorrow off mostly

[placesyoucallhome]

I haven't drawn in 5 million years, here's Ruhka in a ridiculous lingerie piece I came across

#Q'ruhka #art #cold has been sapping energy #but i got tomorrow off mostly #i need to play catch up now that im off meds and at some sort of baseline #i did draw this at work it was risky agafdafag

[marley-manson]

how motivation work

how fic get written

#text post #i was staying off tumblr tonight to write a fic that's due for an event saturday and it's Not Happening lol i got 2 paragraphs #granted i only have one scene left so it's still doable but i think i might need caffeine to help with the motivation tomorrow :/ #i wish berserk fic was more fun to write lol i think my biggest problem is i'm stuck with mostly my own prose bc both these #dudes have boring af perspectives. fuck describing things i just want to write a funny metaphor :( #gonna dive back into mash fic as soon as this is over

[yohankang]

i'm so anxious abt tomorrow i feel nauseous

#i took 2 days off and i didn't answer any calls #last time i took few days off they were literally waking me up with calls... so this time i put my phone on silent #i have FIFTEEN (15) missed calls #like i know it's mostly from people who don't know it's my day off #but still. what the fuck 😭 and just seeing the missed calls got me shaking i hate this job fr #but just 3 days and it'll be weekend... my friend is coming over on friday and she'll stay with me until sunday #and i baked a carrot cake and chocolate muffins to take with me tomorrow #it's gonna be fine #🥲 #i just need to take a few deep breaths #k.txt

[kellystar321]

.

#periodical life updates #(<- NUMBER 3!!!) I FINISHED THE ANIMATION AND EVERYTHING FOR THAT PROJECT AND SENT IT OFF! super excited!! #it looks really cute! i tried my best and im mostly satisfied of where i landed <33 #it's my little sibling's birthday today!! it's also the first official meeting of lgbt club!! (the other event was a fun lgbt mixer) #my backpack smells bad. like mildew or mold maybe? urgh its awful and gives me a headache. i might need a new one. i dont know. urghhh. #my programming homework is due today!! yike!! but other than that my personal projects with deadlines are all done! #INIQUITY NOW THAT YOU HAVE TIME ARE YOU FINALLY GONNA WORK ON YOUR SELF SHIP BLOG?? YES!! HOPEFULLY!! #truthfully i /have/ been working on it on the side. it looks decent but the colors;;; i have always been pretty sht at color picking? #i can adjust with filters but without that im like. a little not good yet lmao. gotta do some studies sometime perhaps #BUT YAY EXCITED!! ive got some rambles and doodles and a tag system and f/o info which is extremely cumbersome (affectionate)!! #also i have new fandom ocs for the latest dimension 20 campaign and im so delighted heho <33 this campaign is literally so fun. #im watching it with my sibling when its done!! OOH ALSO I FIGURED OUT HOW TO PNGTUBE AND i will likely never use it BUT COOL!! #i dont like. talk. lmao. my art streams are 1) silent 2) rare 3) only shared with my siblings. pngtuber is a little useless. but CUTE!! #i got boba tea yesterday!! sandy bought it :3 <3 and we're having pho and cheesecake later and i might plan out a little excursion today? #like i might get a treatsie. OR i'll just sit on campus as usual and get a mango smoothie and draw for a while (or work on homework.) #(lets be honest its likely the former. i might get a little back into traditional? ooh or maybe i'll practice my asl?) HEY THOUGH. #ive been thinking about making a henrey stickmn (ask)blog to practice asl? like. no plot. just henry teaching ellie and charles asl #really funny considering my Real concept of an askblog for THSC. not ace or eca; but a secret third thing (⛎) ;) #then again since when have i EVER followed through on an askblog lmao?? damb im all over the place today. we're already hitting tag limit #okay!! 3 AM!! if im going early tomorrow i gotta eep! goodnight everyone i love you!! see you tomorrow if i have the energy and time!!

[e77y]

Long but relatively unserious vent/rant below the cut (sorry I added this in bc I realized how long this post is oops)

Being at the center of some kind of internet witchhunt (which ik is kind of buzzwordy but) is literally my biggest fear ohhh my god. Even a small scale one… I think I would Die. Maybe it’s because I had a similar thing happen with my friend group in high school where one of them convinced the others I was like evil and spread all these rumors about me… 😭 He was splitting on me but still. That’s an explanation, not an excuse. And it basically confirmed all of my intrusive thoughts about myself, and my personality completely self-destructed and changed, and I haven’t interacted with any of those people the same way since. I isolated from them for MONTHS and just loathed myself. Bleh

The reason it’s on my mind is bc I’ve seen this happen to friends and mutuals and even just people I’ve followed in small fandoms, where the whole fandom hates them bc of this little drama and like. I KNOW that fandom drama is not the end of the world, but truly I think that would destroy me for months. And I would never be able to set foot in those spaces again :’) Getting a handful of rude comments about a fucking transfem hc I had at like 14 made me stop writing fanfic for YEARS 😭😭😭 sigh. Just bc they said it was ‘out of character for him to want to be a girl’ 🙄 (<- character who canonically felt confident when dressed as a woman btw. initially for a disguise but then she grew to love it. BUT I DIGRESS KNSHFJW)

All this to say I think that’s why I tiptoe around everything I say online… I am SO scared of ruffling feathers, but I know that fandoms are places for like! Having fun! And it’s not a big deal! And it doesn’t affect my real life! But like idk.. I just hate the idea of being hated by anyone. I’m sure that I ANNOY some people, and that’s whatever; I talk a lot and make overly personal posts sometimes (like this lol) but I don’t wanna be HATED yk? And idek if it’s better to be hated and ostracized publicly or resented in secret by people who still interact with you… :( Agh. If you ever have an issue with me, please DM me instead of letting it build up into something worse!

ANYWAY LIKE.. with fandom stuff. Idk. I want to have fun! I want to write and post things on Tumblr and AO3 etc but I am just very scared of peoples’ opinions, especially now that I have a decently popular/well-liked longfic in DnDads. For some reason I have convinced myself that writing bad or self-indulgent NSFW will make everyone hate me lmao. Like girl the POINT of fanfic is to be self-indulgent……….. sigh I need to get out more

^ light-hearted… but also kinda true haha. I stay at home a lot just bc I don’t have many reasons to go out atm and only a handful of close friends to go out with. Hopefully that will change when I move next semester lol. And whenever I get interests, they’re VERY strong and long-lasting, and fanfic writing is one of my main hobbies, so I get REALLY into online communities. And rn that is kind of my little niche fandom Tumblr bubble… which is embarrassing and probably unhealthy but whatever. I just inevitably get a lot of anxiety about things that are important/fun to me (bc OCD), especially bc I’ve never really had mutuals/‘friends’ in a fandom before this, excluding my irls

Anyway this got longer and more vent-y than I intended so I will tag accordingly, and sorry to whoever is reading this lol; I just wanted to get my thoughts written down in a public forum bc idk… Makes me feel less insane when ik other people can see it, too. Helps me not take it too seriously and spiral lol.

#vent #cw vent #rant #delete later #<- like tomorrow morning I’m shre #usually I delete stuff like this immediately but I’ll try to keep it up #was talking to my mom earlier about OCD and intrusive thoughts and whatnot…. #she definitely has it too. like undoubtedly #her intrusive thoughts and compulsions sounded exactly like mine #which sucks for me bc my dad ALSO definitely has OCD (in a more outwardly recognizable way) so! wahoo! double whammy #just feeling kinda defeated about mental health stuff #I feel like it’s never gonna get better #I need to go to therapy or a psychiatrist or SOMETHING #it’s been like 4 years now since I was originally supposed to go lol #and I keep putting it off out of fear (I think) #my friends (irls) have all been getting diagnoses and prescriptions lately #which is exciting for them but :( idk. I feel like there’s no way to medicate whatever I’ve got going on except SSRIs???? #and I don’t really want that #mostly though I’m just scared of going back to therapy or to a psychiatrist bc I think they’ll think I’m lying or crazy or whatever #which sounds stupid when I write it out but idk #I should probably keep a journal but when I’m only writing for my own eyes I just kinda wallow in it and write concerning poetry lol #I like journaling in a way other people can see (even if y’all DON’T like seeing it lmaoooo) bc it makes it feel more real? #and out of my head.. concrete etc. #wackyposting #<- seriously need to change that tag still lol

[stayathome-ts]

Annoying as hell how sometimes emotions + posture = almost feeling like the arc's still in my chest.

#And not in a good way it's only when I feel really tense and bad for an extended period #Got out of a conversation a minute ago and it was not good #Just.. don't ask - Crowley's been co-con so he's been helping manage it but hooooly fuck I'm tired #I think I'll take tomorrow off mostly #Where's that House meme where it's like I'm not “fine” fine but I'm fine in that you don't have to worry about me

[solradguy]

The weather needs to stop being cold and cloudy and stupid and miserable so my brain gets back out of fart stink hibernation seasonal affective disorder bastard mode. I gotta draw Sol Badguy but my motivation is directly tied to how much the sun's been out like I'm some kinda sunflower solar panel

#textpost #Winter is ALMOST OVER I saw a dandelion today in the yard and it was over 40f after the sun went below the treeline this evening #HOWEVER. we have gotten snow until May before. Hell on this bitch of an earth #Ordered Loctite for the grub screw on the gear on the extrusion motor shaft for my Ender today #Can't use it til it comes in and I glue it in place... #Tomorrow I gotta work on my 25th anniversary GG zine piece. It's gonna be cool af this whole zine is #Been thinking of things to do to my red jacket too. Might do a design with my brain dog on the back #Haven't thought further than that yet #Haven't worked on translations in a while either. No motivation. Too many think points required to read Japanese #I'll get back into it eventually #I've been keeping up on my kanji studies at least so it's not degrading. God there're so many #Mostly I've been reading a lot. Got a book on dragons. A western. Some books on writing to clean up my technique #Did a little planning for chapter 5 of Interlude this evening too. I didn't get far because I gotta reread Begin's epilogue #and check the actual canon timeline. Though Interlude's got about 5 more months chronologically til it's to the end of the epilogue #Need to clean my pipe (weed) too... #I deleted the Tumblr app off my phone the other day. Need a social media detox. I was wasting a lot of time on here #Getting worked up about shit that doesn't matter

[ladylynse]

Hi! Tarrlok anon just checking in.

I'm alive! I'm hoping to get some writing done this weekend--and watch an episode of two of LOK and Monster High (for a different anon) if I can swing it.

(Recently, I've just been posting my buffer chapters for the one fic I have actual buffer in that's not half a dozen bits of scenes I'm not actively working on, so it'll be nice to have a chance to actually write a little bit again as opposed to just the bit of writing that comes with editing, and I've a few three sentence fic requests in my inbox I need to do.)

#yes I realize I'm saying this when one day of the weekend is mostly gone but I only got home an hour and a bit ago #the most I've accomplished is being in the middle of laundry #technically also eating supper because my neighbour was making perogies all day and dropped some off so I ate them immediately #having lunch at 10:30 will do that to you #but I was gone over actual lunch so...yeah #early lunch it was #the problem is that I am tired now #but if nothing else I should be home by 2:00 tomorrow? #so I will have more of the day left than I did today #ladylynse #asks

[orcelito]

I'm doing soooo amazing (weeping) like so great and cool (crying) feeling amazing (sleep deprived)

I finally got a load of dishes done though. This, at least, is worth celebrating.

#speculation nation #ive been putting dishes off for weeeeeks #it's better off without a before pic bc y'all dont wanna see what was in my sink before 😐 #i will have clean bowls. and silverware. 🥺 #i ate cold chef boyardee straight from the can this morning #bc i had no clean bowls and nothing i could possibly use instead. all tupperware used. all microwavable mugs and cups that would fit it #all plates with enough of a lip to hold canned pasta. all plates in general tbh aside from a few tiny plates. #so i ate it straight from the can and u cant microwave a can so i just ate it cold. #not my most dignified moment to be sure. but also not the lowest ive ever gone lmao #Still Pretty Low Tho #but yeah ill have clean dishes. and ill do a 2nd load tomorrow. #im gonna clean up the clutter from my floors. and try to confront the Clothes Problem.... #i dont want to try mopping until after the showing if it happens bc im not gonna have random ppl dirtying my clean floors. #bc they WILL just wear their damn shoes inside bc this is america and no one has any fucking manners here. #but whatever. im gonna get my apartment approximately presentable. at least enough so im not mortified by it. #just bc im mental illness squatting here doesnt mean i want ppl to SEE it #thank god i got the worst things done yesterday tho. and today with the dishes. #remaining stuff is mostly just tidying. rather than going through The Horrors lol #sigh. im accomplishing things. unfortunately... #gonna go to bed soon. gotta be up nice and early for more cleaning! :D 😭

[minimoefoe]

my mum said last night that the cat has some kind of bump on her head and I was like maybe its a tick and she was like yeah maybe but i caught her just now and she has some weird scab with pus in it on her forehead right up near her ear and it's kinda gross actually

#*mycats #cant really see much of anything there #other than theres a bump that i think is just a scab #and then there was a bunch of pus that was pretty grin #grim #i dabbed it with some paper towel a couple of times mostly pus came off on it #with a tiny bit of blood #its probs nothing crazy like she was probably just in a fight or caught her head on something when she was out an about and got a scratch #the pus does freak me out tho bc that feels like more than just a little scratch flr there to be pus there #idk #imma tell my mum when she gets home later and she what she aays #she probs wont be worried at all #hopefully she'll grab her when she can either today or tomorrow and have a proper look at it herself #bc im not confident in my description of whats really there #i just know - bunp that is probs a scab and some pus #the cats have vets in a couple of weeks anyways so itll get looked at then #but i dont want it to be a bad thing that just gets left to get worse for a couple of weeks #hipefully if we just dab it a bit with a wet cloth to just try and make sure its all clean then itll be fine #this cat is hard to catch tho #sometimes she sleeps in the living room all day/night #and sometimes we'll see her for ten minutes at a random time in the day and then not see her again for the next 18hrs #she mostly sleeps in the neighblur's garage or under another neighbours car #so like #i dont she goes far that often lmao #shes just quick and hard to catch if shes not in the mood #and im probs her least fave of the three of us lmao

[tharsei-thanate]

a selfie from last nite :)

#one of my besties got married and i was a bridesmaid 🥹 #mostly went phoneless during the wedding so this a getting ready for the afterparty pic #in related news im glad i took off from work tomorrow so i have an extra day to recover lmao #tt #me

[army-of-bee-assassins]

clinic class got cancelled tomorrow since we spent last thurs/fri hosting a whole conference. i am so excited to sleep in tomorrow and not go anywhere

#i have not been as productive today as i should've but my brain is okay with it #bc tomorrow still basically feels like a day off #i do still have a zoom client at 2pm but they often don't show and i mostly just observe my supervisor in the sessions when they do show #and that's all i got going on #i do need to go the grocery store at some point too i guess #here is that grad school tag

[yohankang]

i’m so tired and angry i can’t believe it’s just the beginning....

#i cried 3 times since yesterday #my first exam is in 2 days #and the last one.. in a month. #it's not even about the exams tbh #but spending HALF of my monthly pay on train tickets and one (1) night at a hotel was a bit too much for me lol #and i had to make many calls to friends/family to find a place i could stay at #bc train tickets are so expensive i literally can't afford staying at the hotel too #and my friends were so helpful and lovely #but first i wanted to ask my uncle.. bc yk. close family. that guy is even my godfather. and he treated me like shit lmaoo i got so angry #i cried at work bc i couldn't believe this #like we know each other well i know he's not the kindest person. but his reaction?? honestly that might be the last time i talked to him #sorry for being so vague i don't have the energy to tell you what happened sdfghjs #but anyway. can you believe i'm literally less stressed abt the actual exams than i am about the commute/accomodation? #but ngl i am also stressed abt the exams. a bit. mostly because some of our professors still haven't sent us the materials for exams #and one of them in on sunday lmaooo this is fine i can memorize everything in one evening. right? #also bc my previous uni experiences literally traumatized me. but it's gonna be FINE i'm gonna be FINE i just need to. focus #i'm taking a day off tomorrow and i hope it will help me calm down #k.txt #sorry for losing my mind on main <3 if you've read this far i'm sending you a kiss <3

[thelastspeecher]

.

#back from the GI testing finally #feel like ABSOLUTE shit from head to toe but mostly in my abdomen #like I really wish I could take tomorrow off like I took today off #but I don't have any coverage planned ahead of time... #so unless I feel incredibly sick and shitty tomorrow when I get up #I'll be going to work :/ #but hey they already sent me results for one of the tests #and they found two things wrong with me! #(one could have caused the other based on some Googling) #so even if the other test doesn't find anything (which I doubt going off the results from the test I got back already) #today was NOT for naught. the suffering was NOT pointless. #it was worthwhile and now I can get treatment #whine whine whine #speechie sucks at health

[byanyan]

when u've been writing the same reply for two days in a row...

#it's not even that it's long #i mean it is long but #it's mostly just a testament to how absolutely trashed my attention span is rn #i restarted another one of my meds this week i think that might be part of what's got me so off balance #but uhhh. yeah. i've written two paragraphs over the course of three hours and i think that's all i've got in me tonight lmao #I'M REALLY ANNOYED BC I HAVE SO MUCH MUSE and i have thoughts i want to write for several different threads #i literally just can't translate them to writing rn and it's so infuriating #i wrote a gd book while doing some plotting/muse chatting on discord today but actual writing? lmao nah #guess i'll try to just jot down as many notes as i can so i don't lose all my ideas and hope that i can focus more tomorrow :/ #love yall hope ur having a good evening/night/whatever time of day it is for u ♡ #━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ OOC ⋮ DON’T @ ME.

[lendmyboyfriendahand]

Day 4 of vacation!

Slept in today, as I had no tickets until the afternoon.

Had a Chicago style hot dog for lunch at a gimmicky restaurant called Devil Dogs. It was tasty, and a good mix of crisp veggies and soft hotdog. (I picked the peppers off because I don't like spicy food.)

Then it was off to the Shedd Aquarium!

I didn't get pictures of the Pacific white sides dolphins, but it was a wonderful show. Not very long, but the presenter explained dolphins while the dolphins jumped and tail walked and such.

I did get a pic of one of the belugas, only like 5 feet from me!

They have a starfish touch tank, and I let a few starfish. Most of the starfish were on the far side of the tank, and the docent said the starfish are smart enough to know that means they won't get poked as much.

The Amazon wing is nice, and has alligators and parrots and an anaconda in addition to the fish.

And the Mata Mata turtle, as seen on the center pic.

The downstairs coral reef is very nice, with lots of live coral and pretty fish and eight foot long sharks and giant models of coral polyps.

I just had to share with you the best shrimp species name. You go, sexy shrimp.

The sturgeon touch tank is very fascinating. Sturgeon live in fresh water, live for decades, and basically haven't evolved in several million years. I got to feel the bony spine of one.

After the Shedd I went to Luke's for an Italian beef sandwich (structurally similar to a French dip, but the kitchen dips it for you.) It was delicious and greasy and the place wasn't crowded at all, even at 6 on a Saturday.

I saw The Bean (aka cloud gate). Top photo is underneath the arch of the bean, the curved mirror is very fun.

I did some sunset architecture appreciation at the Chicago Tribune, an intricately carved 1920's building that originally housed a newspaper.

Also the Tribune building has random rocks and bricks from other places stuck in it. Off the top of head it has pieces of Lincoln 's tomb, Chimney Rock, the Parthenon, the Forbidden City in Beijing, the Sydney Opera House, Notre Dame, the original World Trade Center, and a few dozen others. No, I don't know why.

The wings are by a Mexican artist and are traveling to different cities to be displayed, as a statement of welcome to immigrants. A lot of people were taking pics in them, but I think the wings look cool empty.

Watched a busker who passionately played a violin while playing recorded piano music from a speaker, which I think is a great way to accompany songs.

#humi talks #i went to millennium lark (with the Bean) mostly by accident #i wemt one stop too far on the L and when i got off i realized i was there and had energy #also i kept trying to talk myself into going to the Hancock Center of Sears tower #but I'm not paying over $30 just to look out from up high #my train leaves late tomorrow evening and i honestly think i did most of what i wanted to on this vacation #only question is whether i di art or okapi tomorrow