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#i rewatch it over and over for a month i listen to the soundtrack

cherubdulce · 3 days

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while I was gone I developed new crushes which isn’t a lot but!!! here they are!!

Emily is the only one that is established to be my rom f/o, ive been having a crush on her for quite a while now actually im happy i got those feelings figured out LOL. Her character is overall enjoyable to watch and once she started to interact with Trev I was hooked into their dynamic HAHA what can I really say, im sucker for glamorous girls x pathetic men … sigh. I’ve been having brainrot about them all day . @__@

For Shelia and Toki they’re just small crushes but I see Toki more of platonic/QPP kind of way, he’s such funky character and one of my favorite characters from mtl aside from pickles and abigail …

#cherub.txt #I have a bunch of art revolving around em and trev if you’d like to see .. they’re not self ship but they are my gfs #oh yeah I got into mtl last month I think im thinking about rewatching it again ahaha #a bunch of deth.kloks music has me on a loop and do.omstar requiems soundtrack #I believe has been replayed in my head for OVER A MONTH NOW it’s not funny tokis voice is so beautiful to listen

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obessedwithfictionalmen · 3 months

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Co-Stars pt.5

Callum Turner X Actress! Reader

Summary: The story of one of the song Y/n wrote for a movie.

Warning: Mention of toxic relationships/ use of Y/n/ crying/

‘’Y/n, recently we’ve all rewatched Burlesque, and did you write all the songs?’’ The interviewer asked. ‘’Yes, all of them’’ she answered. ‘’What was the inspiration for Bound to You? It’s obviously a personal song and important for the movie’’ Y/n remembers what the inspiration was. It was Callum. Him and all the time that he proved to her that love was possible again.

Sweet love, sweet love, trapped in your love

I've opened up, unsure I can trust

My heart and I were buried in dust

Free me, free us.

The first time they talked about each other’s trauma was on the set of The Only Boy Living in New York, they talked about how Y/n got out of a toxic relationship, scared to love again. She was afraid to trust anyone again, but Callum told her how the person that is going to love her won’t hurt her, like her ex-boyfriend did. That day, she started to trust him, still afraid of rejection, but she trusted him.

You're all I need when I'm holding you tight

If you walk away, I will suffer tonight.

The night when she first cried in his arms was when she had a nightmare that he died. ‘’Please, be there when I wake up, I can’t lose you!’’ she cried. ‘’I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here in the morning. I promise Y/n’’ he said, hugging her tightly.

I found a man I can trust

And boy, I believe in us

I am terrified to love for the first time

Can't you see that I'm bound in chains?

I've finally found my way

I am bound to you

I am bound to you.

She fell in love with him when he did a big gesture for her. It was as a friend, but Y/n couldn’t believe he would do that. They were both working on Inside Out, she’d talk about Heath Ledger’s musical performance in 10 Things I Hate About You, then Callum tried to recreate it, singing the same song, but they weren’t in public, but still, Y/n fell in love with the British men that day.

‘’Bound to you was about Callum actually, about how I fell in love with him over the years and how he was always there for me, since day 1’’ She smiled, they’ve announced their relationship a month ago and the internet has never been more in love with a couple. The British men was next to her, listening to what she had to say about her song. ‘’Callum, how do you feel about that?’’ He smiled. ‘’I didn’t know that, but it’s really big, to have a love song wrote about you. I’m actually just remembering the lyrics and I’m really touched.’’ He smiled. They both looked at each other, love sparkled in their eyes. ‘’I love you’’ she mouthed. ‘’I love you too’’ he replied.

@Official_Y/n

@Official_Y/n: Throwback when I wrote my song 💚 #Burlesque

Like by 67 289

Comments

@User7291: That green dress!!!!

@CallumandY/n4ever: Stop the fact that this song is about Callum!!!!

@Austin_Butler: This is so cute!!!

#Spotify #callum turner #callum turner x reader #callum turner imagine #co star #the only boy living in new work #burlesque

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saneabandoned · 11 days

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Diving into Star Wars: The Clone Wars

“Good soldiers follow orders.”

This seems to encapsulate the whole seven seasons of the series Star Wars: The Clone Wars. If you haven’t seen it, haven’t heard of it – in short, it’s an animated series set between Episode II and III of the prequel saga. However, the aim of this is not to be a guide – you can go to Wookiepedia for that; this is supposed to be an essay – analysis, some kind of a deeper-ish dive into the philosophy and meaning of the series, that frankly is one of the best things to happen to this film universe, perhaps ever. I have, time and again, tried to explain for myself the meaning it carries and just why it has me in such a strong chokehold, but I have failed, or at least haven’t reached a conclusion. Maybe it’s not possible, maybe it’s just the magic of being a fan – you see and feel things not everyone would understand, because it speaks to you on some personal level, that even some (more chill than me, at least) fans won’t be able to entirely relate to. I have yet to meet a person as obsessive as I am over all kinds of different media – don’t get me wrong, even though Star Wars is without a doubt my favourite universe, there are many more I have indulged in, wrote about, watched, listened, theorized and all that good stuff throughout many years. But as I have recently come to realize, I have spent the last ten-ish years of my (not that long, to be fair) conscious life thinking about this universe, this whole galaxy (pun absolutely intended) of characters, morals, and plots.

Speaking about morals, that’s where some of the importance of The Clone Wars comes for me personally. Ever since I can remember, Star Wars has been a huge deal in my life – I watched the movies at a very young age (thanks, mom!), but started reading more and more into the whole world as I got older. I thought I’d reached the peak somewhere in high school when I would literally rewatch the prequels every single weekend, and the OG movies about once a month too. I just found it mesmerising, I always have – being a person with a huge imagination, that never quite stops working (and that’s caused me some trouble as well), I found a haven in this world, a place where nothing is too weird, everything is just so brilliantly imagined and thought of, written and painted so vividly, that it feels like someone has taken the insides of my brain, turned them into a whole painting, adding stories, characters and just overall putting into words and pictures the things that I can’t really understand and explain for myself. I found a mirror in this world, a sanctuary for all my thoughts. I used to listen to the soundtracks whenever I felt anxious, and it would transport me directly into the universe I felt so safe in. It was an escape from reality; still is – not that reality was or is particularly scary or unbearable for me; but sometimes I wish I was elsewhere; somewhere where there is courage, bravery, adventure, love, all the things I longed for while being quite honestly, mostly a bored teenager at school.

I have always loved writing, loved expressing my thoughts, putting them into words (as is becoming obvious by this text) and have always greatly appreciated when films, books or other media would reciprocate that – when the words on the screen or the page would feel like I wrote them myself, so true, so real, so incredibly close to me, that I would get literal shivers and wonder if telepathy is actually possible. But hey, that’s The Force for you!

As of now, I have just finished completely rewatching the whole Clone Wars series and as always, I have many thoughts on it. The first time I watched it was right after the final season came out because at that time, and especially during the pandemic, I was going deeper than ever into my interests, rewatching all my favourite things, while also searching for new ones to keep me from going absolutely insane (I think I maybe have succeeded in the opposite though). So, stumbling across this series, I thought I’d give it a try. The rest is history – after absolutely and hungrily devouring it, I continued to Rebels, and every other possible piece of media under the sun. Fabulous times.

Now, one thing I’d like to make clear – I’m not a pro. I am not in any way a certified critic, a writer, or any other sort of person authorised to make such an analysis. I am but a fan, a fan for whom this universe means more than I could ever hope to be able to put into words; a fan who after years of contemplation, has reached a point where I can’t keep it inside any longer. I’d love if this piece of writing makes it out in the universe, reaches as many people who enjoy Star Wars as much as I do, but even if not, I am writing it for myself, I am trying to step out of my comfort zone, reach deep into myself, and in a life of struggling with the loudness of my thoughts, trying to put something down, manifesting my emotions and creating something physical from them; these characters that mean so much to me will never be real, I can never hope to speak to them, touch them, or see them in real life. They have although shaped me as a person and largely formed my psyche and morals, view of the world, inner monologue, even some of my characteristics.

So nevertheless, for me they are more real than a lot of people I know are.

***

To begin, I don’t intend to focus on the Jedi’s role in the war – it is of course vital, but I think the discourse about that is to be found more detailed in relation to the movies, namely the prequels, as CW is very much about the clones themselves. When I first started watching it, I will be honest, I didn’t think I’d find what I ended up finding – and that is such depth that I couldn’t imagine finding again, after being a fan of the movies, both OG and prequels, for so long. But was I wrong!

But let’s start with Ahsoka, since I started by mentioning the Jedi and she is one of the first new characters to appear (besides Rex and many others, of course). First, I wasn’t convinced that I liked her much – she was a bit of an annoying youngling for the first few seasons, after all. I wanted Anakin and that’s about it. Well, I got what I wanted, I think, as I am firm in my opinion that Anakin’s arc is so widely explored that you get a whole another view of his character, something I didn’t think was possible, after all – isn’t the entire saga about him? It is, but still – what I saw in CW, through characters such as Ahsoka and Rex, contributed so much to Anakin’s development as a character and leading force in the saga as I don’t think anything else ever did in the movies, any of them. So, yes, I got what I wanted, but also, I got so much more – Anakin is not my main point of discussion here, I think as main of a character he might be in this series, he is not THE main one, at least not for me. And as Dave Filoni is quoted saying – The Clone Wars is about Ahsoka and Rex.

Who are they? That was my main wonder when I first started watching – why would I care about a random clone captain and a youngling? They are both not present in the movies, and the clones themselves have very little personality there, they are just side characters, until they end up executing Order 66, which is of course devastating. But after watching CW, I completely changed my outlook on it, but more on that later. So, Ahsoka and Rex – admittedly, in the beginning, I didn’t find that much since it’s just mainly classic Star Wars battles and a loose plot that is not absolutely VITAL to the end result but brings so much deeper insight into the clones’ personalities, and ultimately through that to the whole feel.

What I really find devastating about this series is the nagging feeling of doom you inevitably carry with you – you spend so many episodes and seasons watching your favourite characters win numerous battles, you root for them, you cry and laugh with them, you grow so attached to them; but you know how the story ends, you’ve seen Anakin become Vader, again you know about Order 66, you know the Empire rises after all and Palpatine’s plan works – and every time you hear someone say “you’re going to lose this war”, you hope for the opposite, but you know they’re right and there’s nothing to be done – evil wins in the end of this. And as I read somewhere – this is a story that happened a long time ago – it’s over, it has already happened, there is no hope, at least in this series, which I find frankly terrifying. Amazingly done, but still heartbreaking.

Clones, war, and choices

The point about choices and what it means to be a soldier gradually becomes more and more pronounced as the show goes on – one amazing example of this is the Umbara arc where the 501st is led not as usual by Anakin, but by Pong Krell (who later turns out to be a traitor of course). This is one of the darkest moments in the show, as clones are made to kill one another, to sacrifice themselves without reason, and for the first time to face an incompetent, and frankly evil general, and to choose to disobey. This is for me a crucial moment, as the clones have never before chosen to disobey direct orders – they were, after all, made to comply and to follow what their generals tell them to.

"I used to believe that being a good soldier meant doing everything they told you. That's how they engineered us. But we're not droids. We're not programmed. You have to learn to make your own decisions."

But here, we can see the conflict – especially in Rex, as he is the captain and has to face the general and answer for his deeds. He looks him directly in the eye and tells him they are not willing to go on a suicide mission, that they will not follow his orders, after he’s made them fight and kill their brothers unknowingly, and even ordered Fives and Jesse to be executed. However, Rex struggles with killing Krell, when he decides to; he orders him to kneel and points the blaster at his back but is unable to fire the shot. Once again, Star Wars proves that its plot has much deeper nuances and philosophies; for the first time here, we are faced with the harsh truth – the clones are people. We know that, but it somehow gets lost in the movies, as the focus there is on the Jedi’s end, which is just as tragic, of course. But before now, no one has considered what it really means to be a clone. They were made for war, they were made to die, their lives and their deaths were planned. Are the Jedi and the Republic, in that case, really the “good” side? That’s what I, at least, started to reflect on when I reached this point in the series, and it changed my whole outlook on the saga, on everything I have seen thus far. Yes, I still think the Jedi are cool and whatnot – but did they not deserve what happened to them for so blindly exploiting their soldiers? They didn’t know about Order 66 of course, and Palpatine is in no way right – but how come the Jedi are innocent in this? I don’t think they are, at least not fully. They could’ve stopped so much suffering and helped so many more clones, if not for their narrow views, which are all the reason for the clones’ suffering, Ahsoka’s leaving and consequently, Anakin’s betrayal.

"Sometimes in war, it's hard to be the one that survives."

Oh, Cody, Co-dy! The friendship the clones and in this case – Rex and Cody – share is truly precious and very accentuated in this arc especially (here the first arc of the last season) – it is Cody who Rex confides in about not wanting to lose any more brothers, as he knows he is one of the few ones who will understand him fully, what it means to be a soldier, to have to live with the morals of war, to have never known anything but loss. This is what makes Rex dive and slightly recklessly (thank God) search for Echo, proving that he’s alive, saving him from the tortures. They are brothers, and they never leave their own behind. But he is not possessive or jealous, and when he senses Echo’s pull towards Clone Force 99, he is ready to give him the push he needs to join them. He knows his brothers, as I said, and he knows the trials of war, so if Echo will feel even an ounce happier with this squad, he deserves it, after all he’s endured – “If that’s where you feel your place is, then that's where you belong."

Therefore, I love the Skako Minor arc and Echo’s retrieval, not only because it sets up the ground for The Bad Batch (I’m not even going to begin trying to explain what it means to me, as it deserves to have another huge debate on its own), but because it shows Rex’s devotion to his brothers – all of them. Even though he tries to be just a soldier, to live through the deaths, he still cares immensely, and that’s what makes him a good captain. His bravery is unmatched, he is always the one leading his men, and looking out for them, because he knows his men, he stands and fights side by side with them, and he’s ready to die on the battlefield, thus setting the example for everyone.

The philosophy of war is extremely complicated – this is what I enjoyed so much about the series (and the movies of course, politics and war is the main theme), among all other things; the fact that we see war as destroying, as a necessary evil, as a tragedy by itself – but war also created life in this case and its ending brought much more death than any of the battles ever did.

"The mission... the nightmares. They're finally... over."

I’m sorry, but I think I have never witnessed anything as remotely tragic as Fives’ arc – Palpatine told only him the whole truth, fully knowing no one would believe the clone hasn’t lost his mind; but the sacrifice the trooper made ultimately saved so many lives, mostly Rex’s, one of his closest friends. Fives never got to reunite with Echo but losing him made Rex realise how important every brother is to him, and in consequence, he never gave up on any of them (not that he was inclined to do so before of course). In his last sane moment, Rex begged Ahsoka to “find Fives”, and she understood. She knew the clones better than anyone and knew exactly what that meant and never doubted it for a second. Fives saved her life, too.

Fives’ arc is the first time the show begins to become darker and more sombre – it is also the point when we as spectators begin to realize what Order 66 actually means, having seen before only its results; but this time we see its execution, through the eyes of the clones themselves. They are forced to kill all Jedi, after being their most loyal soldiers, and honestly – incredibly loyal friends as well. They can’t control it and it’s not their choice – but that doesn’t mean they don’t realize what they’re doing – Rex said he couldn’t help it; Wrecker said he tried to fight it (The Bad Batch); Bly shot Aayla so many times, so she wouldn’t suffer and her death would be quick; Cody didn’t even check if Obi-Wan was dead; Wolffe didn’t kill Plo Koon. They were people, they were made to do inhumane things, but they found a way, they made a choice, so that they could somehow live with it after.

We get all of this through the clones’ perspective, rather than the Jedi, and it’s just as painful, if not more – we are used to hearing “the army betrayed its generals”, but what happens when we realise, they couldn’t do anything about it? What happens when we see the struggle, when we can almost feel the pain of having to betray? The clones, the most loyal creatures ever created, made for loyalty, have to turn on their generals, on their comrades, on their closest friends.

So, I come back to Ahsoka and Rex. We see them in the very first moment of the show, and they have already formed a bond, which is unlike anything else. They fight side by side the whole war – from the battle of Christophsis to the Siege of Mandalore – and Dave Filoni is truly right when he says this show is about them; but I think also in a broader sense. It is about two creatures who were destined to fight all their lives, who no matter their completely opposite backgrounds, turned out to be the same things – soldiers. Through and through, in their own ways. Their friendship transcends beyond all of this, they have a unique connection, that’s never shaken, even in the direst of moments; even years later, when they meet (in Rebels), you can feel their love for one another, the purest friendship there ever was, somehow ironically created by the ugliness of war and constant fight. Both Rex and Ahsoka suffered losses we cannot imagine – Rex says he tries not to hold on to any of his brothers, and Ahsoka is a Jedi, so it is forbidden for her to form such attachments; but we know. We see it in their eyes, we can hear it when they speak. Rex can never forget Fives’ death and the fact that he died thinking no one believed him; he ran to Skako Minor in an instant even though it might have been a trap, but the chance to save Echo was not one he was going to miss out on this time. And he saved his brother, against all odds. And he saved Ahsoka, as she saved him, time and again. Because that's what brothers do.

“I’m no Jedi” – an interesting phrase for Ahsoka and Rex to have in common, given how different both their roles and backgrounds seem to be, but it is indeed the one they unexpectedly share. Spoken first by Rex here, and then a lot later by Ahsoka in Rebels, it is highly unprovable that it’s on purpose. However, I don’t think anything in Star Wars is done without a reason, so I choose to believe there is some thread connecting them – after all it is Rex and Ahsoka, and that will always matter. What it means for both of them is simultaneously the same, yet different – Rex is the clone closest to the Jedi, there is no doubt about this; he’s used to their ways, he has as equally as strong a moral code, so it is somehow thinly implied that he acts similar to them, despite (or thanks to) being one of the strongest and most respected clone leaders. His closeness to both his general and commander is widely known, so no one seems to pay attention to the fact that he is actually a clone, as he makes his own decisions, and often chooses to fight where a Jedi would opt to step back.

Ahsoka and Anakin

For me Ahsoka became the best character in the whole saga, no ounce of doubt, sorry. She is the embodiment of the Force, she is fierce, loyal, but also incredibly wise for someone her age, and someone who is still learning. On many an occasion, she proves to be more experienced than Anakin (and in my book, experience outranks everything) and I feel like he’s learned as much from her as she did from him – if not more. She is the one keeping him sane and grounded, and I’m a firm believer that had she not left the order, he wouldn’t turn. Ahsoka’s presence brings so many new layers to Anakin’s character, that have not been explored before that and had she stood by him, he wouldn’t be able to become what he became. So, yes – ultimately, I blame the Jedi order for Anakin’s betrayal, I always have, but after watching this series, and seeing it from another point of view, I simply cannot be shaken. They took everything from him and left him alone, which has always been his weakest – he has always been this little child, terrified by the dark, later consumed by it, now unable to fight it anymore. The Jedi made him, and they unmade him too. In my opinion, he shouldn’t have ever been a Jedi in the first place – he is not like Obi-Wan, not like Yoda, not even like Ahsoka (who is not the traditional Jedi either, being trained by him) – he is so powerful and so weak at the same time, and that’s where his dilemma lays – who am I? Which side am I on? He doesn’t know, but no one is there to help him – Ahsoka included, as she (rightfully so!) leaves the order when she sees the truth about it. But she carries that guilt ever since.

She blames herself for leaving Anakin, she blames herself for not fighting alongside him when he needed it; for leaving her friend, her brother. If I were Ahsoka, I would have done the same – she was betrayed by the Jedi, not by Anakin, not ever, but still. He stood with the Order when she needed him by her side. And that is what destroys him too. The loss of his padawan, his most loyal friend is unlike anything else, and for her, leaving this life that’s all she’s ever known, transforms her view on everything. And when she inevitably returns, because that’s where she is supposed to be in order for the prophecy to happen – she must be there, but not by Anakin’s side; she doesn’t fit anywhere else, but she doesn’t fit there anymore either; and she can’t follow him, so she’s sent to Mandalore, again alongside the clones, her brothers, she goes down fighting with Rex. She’s always been his sister more than a Jedi; she didn’t ever belong anywhere else but on a battlefield. She may not be a clone, and she wasn’t meant to be a soldier either; but just like the clones, the war is all she’s ever known, and even though she was meant to be a peacekeeper, peace was something she never knew, especially after Anakin’s turn to the Dark side – even though there is no longer a war, she is forever tormented by the voices she heard in his last moments as her beloved master and the pain she felt when he left.

She knew it was over in that moment – Order 66 is by far the most heartbreaking arc of them all and I can never watch it without then spending weeks thinking about it – it’s genius, really, how Palpatine had this evil plan, dictated the whole war without anyone noticing; and it worked. It worked and changed the whole entire galaxy, and nothing could have prevented it – except maybe Anakin turning; and that is what Ahsoka can’t get over; she feels it is somehow partially her fault that the dark won; if only she hadn’t left, it haunts her forever. She doesn’t know Anakin is Vader, not until she meets him after, so she thinks he’s dead like the rest of the Jedi – and when she finds out what truly happened to him, she passes out (in Rebels; another terrific moment) because the pain is just too strong – the mixture of his known presence in the Force, and his new persona, that is torn from pain and suffering, feelings so intense and unknown to her she can’t understand them. It’s not her master, but it is undeniably Anakin. And he feels abandoned, he feels alone, he is guilty and sad and in constant pain, he is no longer there, not really, but then – he is. And the memory of what he once was, what he promised, everything he taught his padawan brings such pain for Ahsoka.

She may not think she is truly a Jedi, yet she is for me the only one of them I came to respect – she is never hypocritical, doesn’t leave anyone behind, not ever, and she fights for good, always for what she deems right, never feeling like she has to change for others, but in the end always blaming herself for their fate. She could never forgive herself for what happened to Anakin, and she can never forget her brothers, the clones, she suffers and grieves for every one of them, she knows their names, they were her whole world. And the only thing she had left, because they never judged and never tried to change her, they simply stood by her. Even when they had orders to kill her.

Rex and Order 66

Ahsoka’s master was gone from that moment on, and all she had left was Rex. The other main character, and I accept no objections to that statement. Rex is... the best one ever. He is, without any doubt, my favourite from this series. Putting aside my Ahsoka obsession, I didn’t expect to grow as attached to him as I did. Then again, I can’t separate them – for me, they are a team, the best one, and I don’t think I would have liked them as much had they not been the amazing pair they are. The connection between Rex and Ahsoka is what makes this series so different and so much better than the movies for me. It shows a level of true depth and caring that we haven’t really seen before – the type of platonic trust that few people find in their real lives. If I get to have just one friend that is as loyal, I don’t think I’d need anything more. Their story is so real, so touching and beautiful and sad – I think it is not only the best one in the series, but in the whole saga, and in any storyworld, really, for me personally. They meet a kid and a soldier, but they leave the war (or maybe the war leaves them) as equals, friends bound by experiences so unique and traumatic that they can never forget them, their bond can never be destroyed. They are soulmates, and they are forever. I don’t make the rules, sorry.

"Well, I've known no other way. Gives us clones all a mixed feeling about the war. Many people wish it had never happened, but without it, we wouldn't exist.”

Rex says this to Ahsoka moments before he is forced to execute Order 66 and it makes me shudder every time I hear it. Knowing what follows, knowing that the clones that have been created for war, are humans with so much more nuanced feelings that they let themselves express, that they fear the war ending as much as others might feel a war beginning is incredibly twisted. They are not machines, they are much more than that, they have feelings, and they have morals, and they are afraid. Rex has never doubted his loyalty to his commanders, and never gave any reason to be doubted – never hesitated, never showed anything less than immense courage and skill. But now he stands before the only person he’s never been able to deceive, and he voices for the first time what probably has been torturing him for a while – the knowledge that he is expendable, that his life might be over, and that this might be what he’s always fought for – the end of himself and his brothers. Victory and death, indeed.

Viewers have witnessed many a clone death, and these last episodes are the culmination of it all – from that point on, every favourite character is in danger. Of themselves. One thing that the series does marvellously is bring personality to so many seemingly identical characters – in the movies we never get any detail about their lives, their characteristics, even their looks – but now I could recognize Fives from Echo in a second; they might have the same features and the same voice, but they are not the same. They are brothers, forged by the same essence, they share the same blood and the same heart, but they are individuals with thoughts and passions so diverse it’s impossible not to notice, not to adore.

Rex is Ahsoka’s best friend, as she reassures him moments before everything went to hell. He is the man who stood and fought by her side, and who watched her grow up. Who, when faced with the order to kill her, removes and drops his helmet in a desperate try to fight Order 66 (perhaps unconsciously, as he is being mind-controlled), and so she could see his eyes, see his tears, his struggle, his shaking, and know that he had no choice, know that on some level, he is asking for help for the first time ever, the soldier he is – he removes his helmet so he could look her in the eyes, his best friend, his sister, his commander; and she knows.

She’d ran to him, when sensing there was something wrong – of course, Ahsoka would run to Rex, because he’s Rex, he’ll know exactly what to say and what to do, and maybe he could contact somebody who can fix this; this can’t be real, the war is almost over; she’s still a child after all, she can’t face this now, not alone, not without Rex. She’s never had to face anything without Rex, it’s just unimaginable – but she runs to him and in his eyes she sees someone who is not Rex at all, and suddenly all the men she trusted with her life more times than she can count, are not the men she knows, and they want to hurt her, and Rex wants to hurt her, even though it makes him suffer. She sees his tears; she feels in him what she never believed she would.

The parallels in their relationship are just amazing – one of their first interactions is when Rex says to her “good luck, kid” on their first ever mission together – and it shows just how much he already cares for her, how he understands that beneath all her witty remarks and wish to prove herself to her new master (and his soldiers!), she is still a kid thrown on a battlefield – an unnatural atmosphere for anyone, but especially for a young child with no experience whatsoever. From then on, they just keep getting closer and their friendship grows stronger until it reaches a point where they can understand each other without even speaking.

“Yeah, kid, I’m okay”, Rex says, moments after Ahsoka has removed his inhibitor chip and essentially saved both their lives, all while putting herself at a great risk, just because she cares and she can’t do this on her own. In this moment, in his eyes, she is again the kid he first saw, scared about her friend, trying to prove that she can do it all on her own – this parallel is so important to me; she has never been in such a situation alone before, because she’s always had Rex, and now she’d almost lost him, after just reuniting with him; when for a split second there was something in his eyes that she’d never seen before, the only thing that saved her was Anakin and Rex’s training (shown in Tales of the Jedi). Anakin taught her how to fight enemies much stronger than herself, her brothers taught her how to defend herself, not knowing that she’d ever have to, especially not against them. It’s truly heartbreaking.

“Ahsoka, it’s all of us” – just seconds after she has saved him, Rex looks her in the eyes and apologizes for almost doing the undoable, for almost killing her, for being okay when she almost wasn’t. How would he ever live with himself, knowing that he betrayed his best friend? The animation has developed so much by this point, that in this last episode, it’s almost like watching real people acting, at least that’s how I’ve always felt; it feels real, the emotion is just so intense and so palpable – especially with this being the first time Rex says her name. She is his friend, she is the only one who cared enough to save him, thus saving herself, proving again and again her loyalty, the thing they have most in common. They understand each other like no one else can, they have been through everything together, and now, in these crucial moments, they have both proven it – she never gave up on him, she trusted him enough to save him, and in return, he is ready to follow her anywhere and die protecting her. From his own men. Barely awake, he’d reached for his blasters, shooting his own brothers to protect her, not even fully conscious yet. They are equal, they have become one through the Force, and if it wasn’t clear before, it is now – they are sticking together to the very end, no matter what they must do, no matter how. They are forever. Loyalty means everything to the clones.

This and what follows on the bridge of the ship as it’s coming down, are my favourite scenes from the series.

“I hate to tell you this, but they don’t care! This ship is going down, and those soldiers, my brothers are willing to die and take you and me along with them!”

Even though it’s animated, even though you can’t see his face, and the only thing is his desperate voice, you can feel the devastation when Rex utters these words, touching his chest, as he says “brothers” – he has always cared for them, his family, and has mourned every single loss, but now, when there is no other choice, he knows protecting Ahsoka is the most important thing there is – the mind-controlled clones can’t tell apart their own from a traitor, so what’s the point?

There is always a right choice – and Ahsoka proves it, when she gently removes his helmet, only to show what everyone but also no one suspected – Rex is crying, he is afraid and in pain, and she is the only thing he cares about. He’s lost so much; he can’t lose her too. But she always has a plan, and she is probably the only one who cares about the clones as much as him; they don’t need to explain themselves; she doesn’t want to be the one who is responsible for so much death; there’s been too much already. They have lived a life of war, facing death and loss every single day, and enough is enough. She wants to live, but not at the cost of murder. There is no doubt in her voice when she says that.

Burying brothers

What follows is truly devastating to watch – Rex facing his brothers, as a traitor in their eyes, as some of them stand before him, still wearing their helmets with Ahsoka’s Togruta design on them, the colours of the 501st closely resembling her lekku. They’d painted their armour as soon as they knew Ahsoka was coming back to them and they were getting their commander, and little sister back, their best friend, the only one who cares enough to remember all their names, who never turned her back on them, even now, when they are against her, she still tries to save as many of them as possible; she’s been the one whose hand they’ve reached to when dying, their last memory on this world her face, her bright eyes, full of life and care, her presence calming them in the face of the inevitable, as she will have to do now as fell, at the very end.

How must it feel to lose everything you’ve fought and hoped for, in a span of hours? Palpatine’s plan is truly ingenious. The war might have ended, but only on the outside; a much larger, much more painful fight has begun, inside, for Rex and Ahsoka, who now have to navigate a life they haven’t ever considered; they may have wondered what life after the war might be like, but not like this, never like this; not as heroes, not even as fighters – as traitors in the eyes of their most beloved brothers and the new control of the Empire. But they choose to fight until the end, crashing down, falling with the cruiser together, hand in hand; the parallel of them hanging on to each other in the hanger is precisely mirroring the moment of Anakin and Obi-Wan trying to push each other away during their legendary fight on Mustafar, which is happening at the exact same time. But these two don’t let go, they simply cannot face losing each other, not now, not after all of this. They’ve fought for years, so many battles, losing track of what the fights are about – but this last one is clear; they are fighting for each other. And when they are the only survivors, they take to bury their brothers, and grieve the colossal loss side by side, silently watching, because there aren’t words to describe what they feel, and it’s not necessary, so they don’t speak. They know.

"I don’t want to bury any more of our brothers."

The devastation and sheer exasperation we hear in Rex’s voice when he says this much later, in The Bad Batch, when talking about the inhibitor chips nonetheless, is all we’ll ever need to know about him. Laying low after the end of the war, separating from Ahsoka, believed to be dead; in fact – being dead to the world in every sense, this is the choice he makes. He’s witnessed almost all his closest friends dying, he’s lost his general, he doesn’t have a purpose and a goal anymore; he has to deal with the realization that the war is over, but it ended at way too high a price, and he’s a soldier – he will fight every day, until the end, because it’s all he knows. He’s the most loyal soldier, survived Order 66 at the highest price there could ever be, and he can’t lose more. He wants to keep fighting, and he will, but not to lose. Rex doesn’t want to feel this awful feeling of loss, not ever again.

The same goes for Ahsoka – even though she quits the order and never officially finishes her training, the Jedi life is the only one she’s ever known, so her path even after leaving, after the war ends, and after she separates from Rex, is one lead by the code to a large extent, even if done so unconsciously. She claims to not be a Jedi when she faces her master as Vader in Rebels, wanting to avenge him; but she doesn’t end up doing it, she can’t possibly kill Anakin. So, she goes on, living in this middle ground – she is not truly a Jedi, but what else could she be? She has led her troops in many battles, fought by their side; even when they didn’t have to, they still called her commander, as loyal to her as ever; recognizing that she stood by them, even held them as they died.

When The Resolute crashes after Order 66, we are aware that her and Rex took every single one of their fallen brothers, buried them, and displayed their helmets, putting Jesse at the very front, the one who’d wanted to kill them the most at the end. But they know better, it was not him, not after literal moments before that he almost went insane from Maul’s questioning because he didn’t want to betray Ahsoka; he deserved a recognition, even in death. Every single one of them did, and Rex and Ahsoka gave it to them. She lets go now of her lightsaber, the Jedi weapon that bears her identity, and lays it to rest next to the fallen soldiers, because she doesn’t want to have any more connections to this war, there’s been enough fighting. She dies here too – for what it’s worth, she fell with the clones. I can’t imagine how traumatising and terrible it felt, pulling body after body out of the debris. For both of them.

Brother after brother.

***

No matter what I say, or how much I write, I don’t think I will ever be able to express properly what this world and this series in particular mean to me. Of course I love all things Star Wars, but The Clone Wars will always hold a very special and exceptional place among them. It is a unique feeling, one I cannot put a word on, it feels too big for me, as if there is some kind of a boundary that is at the verge of explosion, it’s holding so much emotion, and there isn’t enough space for it inside. Perhaps it’s the depth and the exploration of the clones, their relationships, the empathy their lives evoke – creatures bred for war, individuals barely recognized in life. But still human, as Rex and Ahsoka remind us of the entire time – especially when we see them watching the arranged helmets of their dead brothers – the clones have not been just pawns, they are people; people who died for a cause they couldn’t have any say in. Their lives were not their own; but Ahsoka’s life wasn’t her own either. This is the tragedy of The Clone Wars, but there’s also an ironic beauty about it – Ahsoka wouldn’t have had her master or her best friend, if it wasn’t for the war. It’s a story about the philosophy of choice, hope, good and evil of course, friendship and loyalty. Victory and its highest cost, death; the consequences after a life spent fighting, which no one usually thinks about.

When the final shot rolls and we see Vader’s ominous figure step on to the same place where Ahsoka and Rex were last, as he digs his apprentice’s lightsaber and holds it, we realize what the moral of the story is. We see Anakin’s eyes behind Vader’s mask, and we feel the cold he feels – he ended up alone after all, after all his trying, he had an army, he led troopers, he cared for an apprentice, but he lost them all. He won the war, but he would rather have died with his friends – who he doesn’t know are still alive, and they don’t know what happened to him either; instead of being their enemy. But the time for choosing is over, and there is no going back for him now.

His reflection hits the clone helmet, and we see the image of Anakin, walking away from Ahsoka and Rex.

It doesn’t end with the war; it begins with it.

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hometothecanyonmoon · 1 year

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rating and reviewing BLs i have watched so far (unupdated as of april ‘23)

hi this is just a post that i wanted to include in my page but it was getting too long lmao. this is just like a list of all that i’ve watched so far, in order. i won’t be including their plots here, but there might be spoilers. these are just my opinions in case someone new wants to bond over shows and wants to know what i thought 🤌🏽

we best love (both seasons) - 10/10. first BL that i watched, lowkey changed my life. absolutely obsessed with it, comfort series that i keep rewatching. absolutely amazing acting by everyone involved.

history3: trapped - 8.5/10. tang yi. no words. beautiful acting and cinematography, the plot was handled pretty well and i was pretty much broken by the last episode. jack and zhao lian are my children. i’m still obsessed with the OST, i listen to it multiple times a week. just goes to show how much a good soundtrack can still keep a show in your mind even if you watched it months ago.

bad buddy - 1073392729/10. HOE MY GOD. where do i start. all i’ll say is i’ll never be the same, this series is IT for me. THE show for me. nothing will ever come close. one day i’m gonna meet p’aof and cry on my knees. i will never be able to put into words just how much this series means to me, or just how important it is to me, or just how influential this has been for my life. i’ll never be able to get over it.

2gether the series - 6/10. didn’t watch the second season because s1 was so disappointing even if i finished most of it in one night. brightwin are cute and all but they were giving brothers i’m sorry 💀 their chemistry just sizzled out halfway. and they both need acting lessons i’m sorry

love in the air - 9/10. fort thitipong simp forever. first show that i watched while it was ongoing. came for payurain, stayed for prapaisky. although it’s lowkey rapey (which is to be expected from mame) i loved how well they handled the characters

tharntype - 6/10. started because i had heard so much about it, but abandoned it halfway. aside from the dubious consent (again, mame, people can’t consent when they’re asleep), the internalised homophobia got too toxic

star in my mind - 7.5/10. joongdunk are adorable, but they could’ve done a little more with the plot. the Feels™️ were lacking a little bit. cute show overall though. and i’m one of the five people who will die on the hill that seanmaitee are canon and deserved an official kiss

semantic error - 8.5/10. first KBL that i watched, finished it in one day. very beautifully done, all the colour symbolism etc was interesting as hell. pretty cute, although i do wish we could’ve gotten more fluff

love mechanics - 8/10. saw a short on yt and was convinced about the angst. boyyyy was i wrong, it was so much more angsty than i thought. highkey toxic and unhealthy too, but i’ll let it go. forever simping over p’bar. the parents angle was annoying but eh. i will say though, i had to take a lot more breaks while watching than usual, it became too much at points. we did get a little fluff at least though so

my tooth your love - 9/10. yes i hate the title. very very nicely done, the perfect representation of how trauma affects you even when you’re older and just how much it holds you back. convos about mental health, therapy, not letting your lover treat you like shit, AAAAA 🤌🏽🤌🏽 finished this in one day too. they didn’t magically have a moment where they forgave each other and kissed after confessing. they both worked to prove they were in this for the long run, and xun’an didn’t hesitate to hold bai lang accountable for being a jerk. really breaking all the BL barriers sjdhsjh 😭😭 the only part that annoyed me was his dad beating him up like hello?? he’s 30?? 💀💀 fucking vile. but bai qing is an icon and i love her and i would die for her. simp for alex speaking in english randomly. him and rj deserved more scenes and they need to be canon now!!!!!

roommates of poongduck 304 - 7.5/10. i had heard SO much about this so i had high expectations but i was kind of let down, i mean we really only got them together in ep 7. the chemistry, acting and side characters were great but tbh i feel like i’d have loved this a lottttt more if it had been a little spaced out, more episodes, had better conflict resolution and just better overall detailing. still a cute watch though

currently watching:

never let me go - this series is going to break me, i already know. phenomenal acting, symbolism and cinematography. every wednesday you can find me crying because it is just so excellent, the brainrot is real. can’t wait for more episodes

my school president - OBSESSED with them for real. they’re the toned down version of bad buddy, which i have proven in a post. can’t wait for them to be their high school’s power couple. very very wholesome

those are all for now! i’ll keep updating this post as i watch more. my to-watch list is already overflowing but i’d love your recommendations too!! and i’m always willing to scream about any given show so feel free to join me. :) x

#we best love #history3: trapped #bad buddy #2gether the series #love in the air #tharntype #star in my mind #semantic error #love mechanics #my tooth your love #never let me go #my school president #phewwwwww #roommates of poongduck 304

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storybookprincess · 8 months

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per about 3 posts back, national clean your house month will be upon us in a bit over two weeks!!! as such, i decided to make a little journal page with some goals & ideas, and of course had to make the whole event magical girl themed to make it more fun!!

watching magical girl shows (either new or rewatches), listening to magical girl playlists/soundtracks, putting on relevant video essays—as long as it’s magical girl related, it will be my cleaning companion!!!

let’s see what we can accomplish in november!!!!!!

#naclyoho #feel free to blacklist should you not want to watch my liveblog my cleaning

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journeytalkzsp · 1 year

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The Super Mario Bros. Movie: From the POV of a fangirl (Spoilers. Duh.)

So my friends asked for this and I adore that they actually care so I made it!

I needed at least a day to relax and collect my thoughts. I don’t normally do movie reviews as South Park is the only thing I talk about on here but Mario has taken over my life this year and it’s somewhat thanks to this movie! Again beware of spoilers! I have a lot to say, some good, some bad. But just know I warned you.

Just to give a little background, I’ve played Mario games since I was a kid, with my main two being Mario Kart Wii and New Super Mario Bros. on the DS. I’ve always enjoyed the games and I became an even bigger fan after playing Mario Odyssey (which to this day is my favorite Mario game… actually my favorite game of all time right behind Bully). I’ll admit I was worried the first time I heard about a movie, especially considering it was being made by Illumination. But after seeing the trailer I was HOOKED LIKE A FISH and reeled into the fanbase! I knew the promos and trailers would spoil a lot of the movie but there was nothing stopping me at that point.

And unlike most movies, I really enjoyed the months of hype leading up to it! I had so much fun over-analyzing the promos and discovering new fan artists… and read some incredible fanfics imma be honest. And of course catching up on all the games I missed out on as a kid! All this to say that as much as I enjoyed the movie, the outside effect of it was even better.

Now for the movie itself! Let me start off saying that it was clearly made with love. This wasn’t something made to market more games or advertise Nintendo. This was a thank you gift to the fans, new and old. They also went HARD with the promo! Being able to actually call Super Mario Bros. Plumbing? Genius.

The animation was beautiful. The attention to detail—like Bowser’s scales, the decor on Peach's crown and the highlights in the characters' eyes. So pretty. I also really loved how expressive every character was! It was so easy to tell what emotions they were feeling without the dialogue needed to express it. When y’all rewatch it, please pay attention to the beginning of the movie when Luigi finally gets his plate of food. His reaction is so freaking adorable and I wanna draw it. The action scenes were so fluid and Mario and Luigi’s bond was shown through touch alone. I loved that!

Don’t even get me started on the soundtrack. They really put their all into it and I recognized so many subtle melodies and themes that took me right back to playing the games! The end credits music legit made my friend cry, hehe yeah I’m calling you out. Even the few pop culture songs that were added were very well timed and not overused! Also the Plummer Rap from “Super Mario Brothers Super Show” was a brilliant start, even if I already listened to it a thousand times after it was released in the promo. That song even got me to check out the show itself. Only episode one though. Watching ghosts lick Bowser’s feet wasn’t it for me. Speaking of Bowser, his ballad to Peach was absolutely amazing. Wonderful performance from Jack Black and he even wrote it too! Please watch the end credits if you haven't, there’s MORE!

But I’d say my favorite part of the movie was the characterization. I know Miyamoto oversaw the whole thing but I’m still impressed with how accurate the characters’ personalities were. Luigi was perfectly anxious, Mario was protective and charismatic, Peach was agreeable and assertive and Bowser was tough yet insecure. The dynamics were also great! I loved how genuine Luigi and Mario’s bond was. I also enjoyed Mario and Peach's subtle flirting that never gets addressed in the end (which is exactly like the games, I seriously love it!). I’m also super glad that it showed a bit of Bowser and Kamek interaction. Although I would’ve loved them to explore their “father and son” bond. GIMME FOUND FAMILY DAMN IT. Oh yeah and Toad wasn’t annoying! He was definitely the comedic relief but they didn’t overdo it! Him and his huge kart was my favorite thing. He’s just a silly little guy.

They definitely made it their mission to absolutely fill the movie with references and it was much appreciated! My personal favorites being the game cube ringtone, blue shell, cheep cheeps and the environments as a whole. I enjoyed the appearances of side characters like Kamek, Spike and Pauline. But I was honestly hoping for a few more like Daisy, Rosalina, Toadette and JUNIOR AND KOOPALINGS, DANG IT! You’re telling me they put so much emphasis on Bowser's sentimental side but didn’t include him being a father??? (Yes I know the koopalings aren’t technically his kids but Junior is and I was really disappointed at the lack of his presence).

But that brings me to the few problems I did have with this movie. And they all stem from the runtime length. It was WAY too short. And not in the way of “omg I loved it so much I need more!” No. It actually needed to be longer. I even heard it was supposed to be but things were cut? The pacing was too fast and there wasn’t enough time for individual character arcs. Don’t get me wrong there were conflicts, but they were resolved almost as soon as they began.

I’m also disappointed in the lack of Luigi content once they left Brooklyn. He really was just put in a cage for most of it, which is what everyone was worried about. It was cool to see him confront his fears to save his brother in the end but it would’ve felt more emotional and deserved if we got to see his internal struggles during his capture. I really loved that hot air balloon scene where he recalls a childhood memory of him and Mario. That! That’s what I wanted more of! I know there wasn’t much he could do in a cage but I was really hoping he’d be involved in attempting to convince Bowser to not go through with his plans. Or maybe even a scene where he tries to encourage the others that were captured to work as a team to escape or something. Idk man, I’m sure they could’ve come up with something good if they were just GIVEN A LONGER RUN TIME. They could’ve done a lot with an extra 20 minutes. I promise for the animators sake I would’ve waited months longer for this movie. Or they could’ve cut the dog and eel scenes honestly.

And as much as I appreciated them showing Bowser’s sentimental side (seriously it was one of the things I was hoping for the most). I really wish they could’ve done something with it other than just comedy. Don’t get me wrong, Bowser was so cute trying to woo Peach. He made me smile till my face hurt. But it’s clear he’s really lonely and rejected, and they could’ve done something a little deeper with that. When he told Mario that he ruined his chance to “finally be happy” the whole theater went “awww”. In the end he could’ve learned love from his subjects or his FAMILY. Sorry I’m still pretty peeved about that. Even something as simple as him befriending Luigi would’ve been a really nice touch but I guess I ask for too much. But nope they just shrunk him, put him in a jar and left him like that. Even main antagonists deserve good endings at times. I was kinda hoping they’d pull a “Lego Batman Movie” and force him to see that he’s hurting his kingdom in the process of his pursuit and he’d need to help in order to get everyone back home. Kinda corny I know but Lego Batman managed to do it with Joker in a way that wasn’t OOC. I was just missing the complexity. Still, I can’t complain about Bowser getting the shit beaten out of him and the classic tail spin move. I’ll admit I’ve always found Bowser’s defeats hilarious in the games. Please look up the ending of Bowsers Fury if you haven’t played it. I laughed for hours. I’m sorry Bowser but your pain is my gain at times. Also the large group of people who sat behind us had the exact same opinions, which felt validating. THEY ALSO WANTED JUNIOR DAMN IT!

The merging between the two worlds at the end was pretty unexpected. I honestly think they added that in there so that Mario and Luigi could see their family again. But the concept of them being thrown into a magical world and not knowing how to get back home brings so much mystery and excitement. Kind of like how it felt watching The Owl House and Amphibia. But I appreciate that it’s implied they now live in the mushroom kingdom and can probably visit their family from time to time. Now that I think of it… going back to Luigi… why on earth would he want to stay?? He was sent straight to hell the moment he got there and was put in a cage for the rest of the movie and almost died a gruesome death. If Luigi had more screen time where he befriended someone, ANYONE, it would’ve given him an incentive to actually stay, other than just sticking with Mario.

Overall I’d say the movie did what it was set out to do. Which was to give fans a fun, nostalgic adventure. I’m not too sure if one would enjoy it if they’ve never played a single Mario game. It went hard on the animation and soundtrack, the voice actors did a good job (especially Jack Black and Charlie Day. Hell, even Chris Pratt did a good job). It wasn’t perfect. It was definitely too rushed for my taste and I would’ve appreciated it if they had slowed things down a bit. Luigi is currently my favorite character, so naturally I’m disappointed we couldn’t get more of him. Oh well, I’m sure I’ll enjoy it more on the rewatch.

I suppose I should format this like my South Park reviews for the sake of consistency.

So that means it’s time for the ratings!

Things I liked:

• Bowser. Every moment he was on screen made me happy. I love him so much.

• The characters' personalities were spot on!

• The facial expressions and character designs. Very pretty movie to look at fr!

Things I disliked:

• Too fast paced. Needed room to breathe.

• Kept asking “where’s Luigi?”

• A general lack of my favorite trope “found family” when they easily could’ve used it with Bowser

Should I do ship of the day too? Eh, may as well. Congratulations Bowuigi! That damn trailer spawned a bunch of y’all even though the ship is a decade old. Hope y’all didn’t go into the movie expecting too much. It’s alright, we’ll get ‘em next time boys.

Final rating:

8/10

A good movie that was loyal to the games but the wait for it was better. I’m gonna go play Mario Galaxy now.

…peaches, peaches, peaches peaches peaches 🎶

#mario movie #supermariobrothers #super mario

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mid-nighttiger · 11 months

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nine (9) people you'd like to know better

thanks for the tag @vulpesarctica!

last song: uhh uhh i haven't listened to a song in a month but the first thing on my spotify is the how to train your dragon soundtrack so probably that?

currently watching: rewatching the clone wars (very slowly). i'm now halfway through season 1

currently reading: shatterpoint by matthew stover (also very slowly)

current obsession: i mean gestures at blog does star wars count? 😆 ok how about this, i recently found out that i live in the native range of these birds:

[Image ID: Picture of three black skimmers flying low over water /End ID]

so i keep going out to try to catch a glimpse of them feeding

no pressure tagging @thegreencarousel @ankahikoibaat @kcrabb88 and anyone else who'd like to play

#midtalks #midpics #tag games #i know this is not nine ppl but nine is so many ppl

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thelightsandtheroses · 8 months

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Weekly Wrap Up #1

What's that? We're moving from monthly to weekly wrap-ups/rec lists?

This Week’s Fic Recs

These are just a few of the fics I’ve enjoyed this week. As always. please be mindful of any content warnings and I believe all fics/ blogs are 18+

Javier Peña Señorita - chapter 7 @lavendertales I finally caught up on this fic and damn, it was worth the wait! Let Me Love You - @thetriumphantpanda A very hot Javi one shot come away with me and we'll kiss - @undercoverpena I will read anything jo writes for the late night texts universe.

Joel Miller Observations - @ezrasbirdie I loved this fic and the sweet flirting between the reader and Joel.

Ezra (Prospect) Compulsion - chapter 8 - @iamskyereads Skye has created the most vivid and brilliant world and OFC in this fic. I adore her writing so much.

My Writing This Week

I don't know what happened to me this week, but I managed to post three different things (if we count last Saturday, which for today we will). I won't lie, I feel super proud of this achievement:

Joel Miller Your Hand In Mine [series] Drabble - you're face to face with the man who sold the world Chapter Two - there goes the fear again

Frankie Morales After Rain [drabble]

What I've Been Up To This Week

The past couple of months have not been easy and work has been super busy recently, however I still had some good experiences this week. Over the weekend, I visited a new-to-me local Indian restaurant (really lovely food), and I also treated myself to a new book.

What I've Read:

The Good Daughter - Laure Van Rensburg

Reckless - Elsie Silver

What I've Listened to, Watched or Played:

All of the Noah Kahan - Stick Season is the album I play on repeat going to work these days

I started listening to Laugh Track by the National on a work friend's recommendation as I do like the National anyway.

I have been listening to Dream Girl Evil by FLorence and the Machine on repeat since it was used in The Other Black Girl TV adaption.

I've been playing Spiderman: Miles Morales - I cannot help but love this game so far. It's really good fun

I started another TLOU rewatch because it feels autumnal to me and it will help with fic research. That's my excuse anyway 😂

I also watched Wilderness on prime, which had some definite potential and great songs in the soundtrack but didn't really work for me overall.

How was your week?

#lolabee's weekly wrap up

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luxuriousmalfoy · 1 year

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Get to know me game

tagged by @felixantares !!!!! ty for tagging me ❤️

rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know better

last song: technically as i write this i am supposed to be writing a fest fic lol. SO i am listening to a playlist meant to keep me in the zone for this particular fic, but i will just say that it has a lot of Motion City Soundtrack and Mom Jeans on it! I got into MCS when I was in high school and have to come back to them every so often. this fic was the perfect opportunity : )

last show: The last show I finished uhhhhh probably Derry Girls? I have not been watching a lot of new shows in the past couple months lol. So the last one i would have finished is Derry Girls and I love it so much that i really do rewatch it frequently

currently watching: I have been rewatching Teen Wolf lately, which I love so much!! I am a couple episodes into season 2 atm. Also i put on Bob's Burgers or Bluey to fall asleep to at night lmao

currently reading: AHH i'm really not in my reading era which is embarassing as someone who read over 100 books last year but the closest thing is that i am listening to the Crimson Rivers podfic when I drive and IT IS SO EFFING GOOD i have finished up to chapter 51 and i am getting so nervous about what is to come omg

current obsession: I am vey much in my coco wheats era which is like?? a little odd but i ate that food a lot as a child and now i have been eating it every day lmao.

Tagging: sorry if you're already tagged okay!!!!!!!!! @iammyownsaviour @bluesundaycake @vitaminpops @endlesstwanted @siriusly-sapphic @sniperjade @triggerlil @jakeway11 @marymacdonaldspatronus

#tag game #get to know me

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daisydoctor13 · 5 months

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Tumblr Ask Game

Thanks @pers-books for tagging me

Last song: According to my music app it was Handlebars - The Flobots

Currently reading: firmin by Sam Savage and Written in Bone by Sue Black, also listening to Geneva by Richard Armitage on audiobook during my commute

Last film: It took me soooo long to work this out and I'm not 100% sure which I watched more recently but i watched Home Alone with a live orchestra playing the soundtrack and I also watched Matilda the Musical on Netflix in the last couple of months

Currently watching: oh so so much - silent witness, the traitors, vigil, Elite, Derry Girls rewatch, The Office (US), How to get away with murder. I have a lot on my to watch list as well haha

Currently craving: sleep

Currently consuming: crumpets, a glass of squash and a left over mince pie

Three ships: Bernie Wolfe/Serena Campbell, Amy Silva/Kirsten Longacre,

First ship: probably Harry Pearce/Ruth Evershed

Favourite colour: orange

Currently working on: my portfolio for work

If anyone fancies it @batnbreakfast @tebarambles @slightlyintimidating @elphiessolsikke @danceswithcows01

#tag game #asks #about me #i am so so tired ive just realised i only put 2 ships but cba to think of a third right now #so lets say the third is me/a good nights sleep

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zhouxiangs · 5 months

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my top albums of 2023

(but i'm cheating, probably, because of course i am)

tagged by @theelast-straw <3

in no particular order except for roughly release date/order in which i got obsessed with each album, i present you: the albums i've had on loop for most of 2023

i like to listen to albums from start to finish, i think for the same reason that i tend to rewatch the same movies when i can't sleep (the sense of familiarity) but i'm picking a favourite from each because all of them had that one (1) song i got obsessed with and/or made it into one of my very specific playlists... some even more than one, if i'm honest lol

my world, aespa (2023)

youtube

what can i say about my favourite gg except that i love them so much? their title tracks are always a 10/10 for me but so are most of the sides, and for my world we got some amazing track videos (my favourite was of course i'm unhappy). plus there's the added layer of collecting pcs and the friends i cry about pieces of cardboard with, and while i admit i went a bit overboard during my world and that may be one of the reasons i got overwhelmed and eventually bored so now i'm stepping back from collecting, i still had lots of fun and this was my soundtrack for most of it.

perfume, nct dojaejung (2023)

youtube

my sons and jungwoo, do i really need to say anything else... i was lowkey scared i wouldn't like the mini for some reason and yeah that wasn't a problem, i am still obsessed with perfume lol i think this came out right after i decided i wouldn't buy more physical albums except the ones that i really loved the design of, and then i loved the songs so much that i ended up getting doyoung's box... and eventually two pbs from ktwt because i wanted to make covers out of them, and then never did lol

golden age, nct (2023)

youtube

pado and baggy jeans are my most played songs of the year; wish i could say i've gotten over the brain worms baggy jeans caused but nope, it's still on loop in my mind months later and i fear it's not going anywhere 👖

nil, the gazette (2006)

youtube

so this one is not new... but for some reason in the first half of the year, i think? i got back into the gazette; i've been listening to nil now and then throughout the years but now i also listen to their whole discography regularly. it's like being 16 again but with back pain lol happy to announce nil is still my favourite album of all time, and that i somehow remember all the lyrics! for this one i'm picking cassis because it has been one of my favourite songs since it came out and then cemented its place forever in my heart when i saw them play it live, which is something i'll never forget.

fact check, nct 127 (2023)

youtube

ICONIC MOVE, MY MOTION. i adore fact check, 127 never miss with their title tracks and i always go through at least a few days where i need to play them on loop because they won't leave my mind otherwise... but this time, if i could only pick one song from the album, it'd have to be angel eyes. i don't know if it's the happy 90s boyband energy or what but it's so special to me, makes me happy every time i listen to it <3

ร็อก เล็ก เล็ก, micro (1986)

youtube

we all know when and where this came from, don't we? one thing i'll always be grateful to only friends for (other than sandray both as characters and as a ship) is the music; i discovered so many wonderful songs and artists by listening to the playlists, and of course my favourite was micro, particularly this album which i started to listen to because both อย่าดีกว่า and อยากจะบอกใครสักคน are in it, and while they're still my favourites i really like the rest of the album too.

the land is inhospitable and so are we, mitski (2023)

youtube

i think i discovered mitski back in 2018 when be the cowboy came out, but for some reason i never listened to her music a lot? i had a pearl in my playlists, but it wasn't until laurel hell came out in 2022 that i started to listen to more... and then this year we got this amazing album and she's now one of my most listened artists of all time. my favourite is my love all mine because, like for most of twitter, that was (one of) my sandray song(s).

something to give to each other, troye sivan (2023)

youtube

this album came out right when i was itching for new music and to make more playlists because i was bored of always listening to the same songs. it was kind of a break? not because it's super different from other things i listen to, i don't think, but idk it was exactly what i needed right when i needed it. there's something about can't go back, baby that has always made it stand out to me, but don't ask me what.

to. x, taeyeon (2023)

youtube

mother! taeyeon has been in my life continuously for the longest time; her voice is such a comfort, it doesn't matter if i stop listening to kpop for years (which i've done a couple times in my life because i am that dramatic) i don't think i could ever quit her. honestly the whole album is perfect, no notes, and we even got a live clip for all for nothing. best way to end the year!

not tagging anyone but if you see this and want to do it you can consider yourself tagged <3

#tag game #sorry it's mostly kpop lol

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bronzeagepizzeria · 7 months

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Get To Know Me

Thank you for the tag, @demdifferentstories-29 !

What is your name? Niyati

For how long have you had this account? since 2018, i think? only started using it during the pandemic though

Favourite food? i have a massive sweet tooth, so anything sweet, really. also pizza

Favourite drink? i don't drink anything interesting xD just water and even then a bitch is severely dehydrated

Do you have any siblings? yes, one older sister

Do you have pets? yessss i've got three cats!!

How old are you? 19

How many languages do you know? i'd say i'm most comfortable in english, but i can speak hindi fluently as well. i understand tamil entirely and sort of understand marathi + a few words of kannada bc i lived in bangalore for 13 years

What's your all-time favourite movie/tv show? fav movie has got to be the godfather part ii. i've watched it a million times. fav show will forever be game of thrones, no matter how badly it crashed and burned. i really imprinted on that shit lol

What are you enjoying to do in your free time? read fic hahaha. or watch movies. recently i haven't managed to watch anything except reels on instagram though, send help

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? mostly an introvert, but i think i'm just bad at small talk. i don't have issues with public speaking or anything, and i can talk about stuff i'm interested in for hours and hours to virtual strangers xD

Your favourite music genres? i don't listen to a lot of english music tbh! i'd say pop? mostly i just listen to film soundtracks and bollywood songs

Your dream place to visit? i used to be fuckin OBSESSED with australia as a child so i hope to still go there? but i'd like to visit all over, really. i haven't travelled much. definitely wanna experience living in the US/UK for a while. i plan to do my post-grad abroad

Something you wish you were better at? not procrastinating. it's a serious problem

How long do you take to respond to texts? immediately lol. sometimes i respond to ao3 comments within minutes, which must freak people out

Do you have any tattoos? If not, would like to? nope. look in theory it's a cool idea but i'm famously indecisive and if i can't even settle on a pfp for more than a month i just know i'm gonna pick a tattoo and end up fucking hating it

What's your sexuality? straight

Do you like reading? If yes what's your favourite book? i don't read much anymore, unfortunately. but i want to get back into it

Have you ever been in love before? ehhh no. i usually just trick myself into liking someone i suspect likes me lol

What's your relationship status? single

Have you ever been heartbroken? nah

Best memory you could think of? this question is super hard for me lol. recently my roommate and i did an hp rewatch and she asked me what memory i would rely on for my patronus and...i literally do not know. like i've had a decently happy life, but nothing stands out, you know? there isn't any one instance i can think of like that

Worst memory you can think of? same thing again. my 2023 has been so fucking bad it's not even sad to me anymore i just find it genuinely funny. but it hasn't been all bad either? i really don't know if i've just repressed my emotions for this year or if i'm over it already lol. maybe it'll come back to bite me in the arse later

Do you have any fears? moths and butterflies (i don't discriminate) i also don't like small birds/plants that are beginning to dry up/balloons losing air. i was a weird kid

Are you a morning or a night person? oh, night definitely. i spent the entirety of last year getting like 2hrs of sleep a night and napping during class

How many pictures do you have on your phone? 5001 + my icloud has not been backed up in 462 days

Who was your favourite childhood crush? first guy i ever liked was shahid kapoor. first guy i actively fantasized about etc has got to be chris evans. the captain america movies were my personality for a long time in middle school lmao

Are you a romantic? hmm i don't think so. i have pretty old-fashioned tastes when it comes to love and romance i guess, but i think i'm more of a cynic

What’s your dream date? showing my s/o movies/shows that i love. honestly that's my love language

What are your hobbies? i draw a little, watch movies, read fic. i used to play professional-level badminton but that hasn't been fun for me in a long time :(

Tagging: if you read all the way and you feel like it, go ahead!

#tag game

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oh-wow-im-still-here · 8 months

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Tag Someone You Want To Know Better!

thank you soooo much for tagging me @violetdisasterzone !! <3

Favorite Color: any shade of purple, but lilac and lavender are favorites, pale pinks, mint green, and light blue! anything floral basically.

Last Song: don't really remember, but it was probably some sort of track from the chainsaw man soundtrack...

Last Movie: I rewatched Nope (2022) recently! one of my fave movies to come out in recent years. I like anything with some sort of spooky vibe and some interesting visuals.

Currently Watching: gosh, i'm in the middle of watching so many things. I'm almost done watching mob psycho 100 season 3 (very much enjoying it!), also watching the thousand autumns donghua as i wait for more volumes to get translated (shen qiao getting screwed over: the series), and im almost done with my yearly saiki k comfort rewatch (saiki my aroace icon <3), and i really need to start jjk season 2 when I find the time!

Currently Reading: ahhhhhhhh i have so many things I need to read on my shelf it's ridiculous! I did recently finish volume 1 of remnants of filth a couple days ago and my self control to hold off buying volume 2 is crumbling at an alarming rate. I have a bunch of batman comics waiting to be read and also that chainsaw man buddy stories spin off burning a hole on my table. eagerly awaiting husky and his white cat shizun volume 4 and the final heaven official's blessing volume and im being so brave about it (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-)

Currently Listening: anything by Joey Valance and Brae to feel like a person before I start my day. double jump is a favorite!

Currently Working On: ummm *hides my dusty fanfic wips and dnd campaign outline i haven't touched for months* not really working on anything really. same old same old.

Current Obsession: I live and breath svsss. I have thoroughly exhausted the tag on tumblr and ao3 and now I am in the middle of rereading the entire bingqiu tag on ao3... I do not have a problem!

I'm very hesitant to tag anyone because i don't want to be a bother, but uhhhhh @oh-no-boi and @zack-thebisexualtrashcan !! please feel free to participate if you are interested!! thank you <3333

#tag game #this was so fun!!!#me and exclamation points have a long lasting and dramatic relationship

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queenimmadolla · 8 months

Note

This isnt a question about the book but i was wondering, how do you get yourself into a writing flow?

I started my blog in a bad headspace and continuously visit it in that headspace that i dont know how to get out of

My writing is coming out seriously unreadable and i know im a good writer but i can barely verbalize myself and its just coming out as spewage on paper

I understand my problem but i was just curious if you have general tips on what helps you to get into that natural flow xx

I know what you mean. I started this blog when I was in a really bad space mentally, physically, and emotionally, and all I wanted to do was escape into Hawkins (ironic since most people write about their characters wanting to leave it) so I’d write A LOT. Like I was popping these fics out. It was the only time I didn’t have to be hella high—most of the time—to calm my raging anxiety and thoughts (though I was plenty high during this period of my life, but I didn’t have to be high to write about Eddie, like I did to function as a human being).

Now, with the environment here and things as they are, I kinda resorted to getting high again to find enjoyment in posting and being here, and I also get high to write. BUT. I’m trying to break that. And it’s kind of working so I’ll share:

I love ST4 but I do not have the time to constantly rewatch it. So I look up a compilation of Eddie’s scenes on YouTube, and it works every time. Seeing him, hearing him drags me right back in when I’m sure I’ve lost motivation/muse/what you will. And playlists, create a little soundtrack for your story, imagine it like a movie! What’s playing in the background of this scene? Does the entire fic carry the vibe of a song I’ll gladly listen to on loop until the end for? And I’m a maladaptive dreamer, babe. I fantasize and daydream the whole time I’m writing, really helps me get everything down when I feel like i’m watching it play out in front of me.

And don’t beat yourself up about how it’s reading, if it doesn’t read like what you usually write. Sometimes you just have to get what you have out of your head out on a doc. And you might not like how it reads, but plenty of others will. (I say this like I don’t have over 50+ things I’ve written and haven’t posted bc I didn’t like them lol) That’s not to say that you can’t revisit the work later when you feel like you can make some improvements to it! (Hence why I answer requests like 7 months later, sorry guys!!!)

And maybe the spewing is your style! There’s nothing wrong with that, there’s so many different styles of writing and a lot of my friends and people I admire come up with the most AMAZING SHAKESPEAREAN works, while I kind of just write how I talk and think and you can kind of make out the movie period that had the most effect on me from it, lol. And there’s nothing wrong with that or either because both are good! There’s SO MANY MORE than just those two types, btw. So many. And that’s the best thing about writing and sharing what you write, embracing this differences and perspectives is so refreshing and joyous. My style changes quite a bit, though. It used to upset me but I stopped fighting it and just started rolling with it. And people seem to like it. Me included. Hope this helps a little, and drop me a link when you post!!!!

If anyone else has some advice, please add to our discussion!

#$ replies #agony aunt viv lol

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