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#i shouldn't wade into this but i am
i-said-blimey · 21 days
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I get that people love the rat grinders
and want to see them redeemed because they were being misled by their teachers
And maybe I would have been on that side if it hadn't been for KLCK. If it wasn't the slashing her own AP member's throat, it would the complaining about Riz having a hard life as if that somehow gave him advantage. If it wasn't the endangering students at the party, it would be the trying to bring about the apocalypse. I have as much sympathy for her as I have for Penelope, Biz and Dayne in freshman year.
In conclusion:
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I don't really care much about the rest of TRG. Except maybe hating Ivy for being a fantasy racist. I even thought Oisin and Adaine would be cute together before it turned out there was nothing there at all. Ruben is insufferable but what teen boy isn't. I just don't think that him being a teenager makes him a wooby whose actions need to be ignored or justified.
I'm not saying it's bad to care about TRG or whatever. i just don't get why people are acting like TBK are awful for killing TRG when TRG have been making their lives miserable. And are also actively trying to bring about the apocalypse. Or worse that BLeeM and IH are horrible for not shifting the story from mystery solving to focusing on redeeming TRG
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mangoofthesea · 2 months
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How many things do you think need to be set on fire to disrupt capitalism enough to create a livable society? Asking for a friend
#mango rambles#capitalism#watcher#dystopian society#just watched a speech about how terrible the overturn of roe v wade is#keep hearing how companies are canning movies as tax right offs or strangling the life out of diverse content before it gets made#fucking governments fucking everything up#looking at uk and us#fucking joke on the tv tonight about how nhs staff shouldn't be bothering with making 'signs showing 23 genders' because cancer isn’t cured#was a sign with pride flags on#some of them genders some sexualities#i hate the british media#feel bad for not donating to causes because i could but where am i supposed to draw the line?#is this the right one to donate to?#i don't feel comfortable donating to multiple because I'm trying to cling desperately to my money and any little advantage or safety i have#but im not giving other people that same courtesy#because which one do i donate to?#the person who can't afford food?#the family getting out of a warzone?#the family trying to get their son or daughter or father or aunt or sibling out of a warzone#the person who needs their cancer stricken cat to get surgery#the homeless content creator#the homeless single parent trying to be a content creator to gain any money#the people trying to raise money for dying relatives they adore#its not even doomscrolling its because i watch one video of people suffering to hear them out#give them time to speak so their video gets views#read their post becuase there are capitals and red letters and begging and i don't want to reblog or repost something that spreads misinform#ion#nothjng is nice nothing is pleasant#everyone is mean
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ericboyd · 2 years
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6/24/22- downtown Pittsburgh
🎞️: lomography potsdam kino 100
📸: Fuji tiara
Developed in Kodak HC-110, dilution H; 7.5 min
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not12001ants · 2 years
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genuine question- if banning abortion is an infringement on the freedom of religion part of the 1st amendment for jewish people, what about this reasoning for other religions?
if my religion said tonatiuh, the aztec sun god, requires human sacrifice where i get to rip out the hearts of war captives, would outlawing that be an infringement on my freedom of religion? i mean, i don't see that person as a human deserving of rights, so would me doing that be protected under the first amendment?
i'm hoping you'd say no, obviously, because human sacrifice to sun gods is and always has been wrong and should be illegal. because killing someone is an infringement on their right to life, even if it's acceptable under my religion.
this is a genuine question, i'm not trying to trap you or anything. i'm genuinely curious as to what you think of this.
I find it interesting that you bring up sacrifice performed by the Aztecs, as you see the reports of how mass the killings were is greatly overexerted. This idea that it killed millions comes from William H. Prescott, an American who lived long after the time of the Aztecs and also had an almost nationalist obsession with his Spanish heritage. He had never even visited archeological sites in Mesoamerica and had a weak understanding of these cultures. His blatant lie of sacrifice on this scale likely originated to justify the Spanish colonizing the land and “civilizing” the people. Several historians worry that his writings on Incan and Aztecs cultures have impacted the research of these societies by causing scientists to be looking for proof of this false narrative and looking at everything through a negative lens. 
The actual estimated death toll is likely 316,200, which is admittedly  a lot, but is nothing compared to what Prescott falsely accused them of. It also does at all compare to the mass amount of indigenous people slaughtered by the people who “found” the land, with 80 million likely dying, but we don’t really have an exact count. If we truly want to talk about a religion taking another person’s life so they could please their g-d, we need to talk about Catholicism
Based on what historian you ask, you’ll get a range of a million to nine million people murdered during the Crusades, plus they also committed several acts of hate crimes towards Jewish communities on their way towards Jerusalem. I mean if you consider Aztec ritual sacrifice to protect their lands bad, you must consider Christians slaughtering not even soldiers, but children that were just in their own country terrible. Or wait, is there a reason why people always associate non-christian beliefs with the occult and death, but ignore the bloodstain behind the “all loving” religion? 
But to finally answer your question, I’m not okay with people forcing things upon people when they don’t consent. Most sacrifices in the Aztec religion were actually not of captives, but of beloved community members known for their beauty. They believed this person to be the g-d incarnate, and would attend to this person’s every need for a year before the sacrifice. These people usually willingly died as they believed they were part of their g-d and when they had their heart ripped out, it would nourish their g-d, make their g-d stronger, and allow that g-d to protect their community. If modern tribe members consent to it, I’d say, it’s their choice. 
However, in the abortion case, having sex isn’t consenting to a baby or all the risks with that. Consent is always important. The right to do what you want with your body should be fundamental, if not, we practically belong to the State.
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notfullyfunctional · 24 days
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Youd think acknowledging that i was abused would make things better by virtue of making things make sense but it doesn't actually it makes everything worse it makes things make a little too much sense so back into denial we go
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darchildre · 7 months
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Hey, you know how I was reading Raffles months ago and I started Mr Justice Raffles literally in June? Yeah, so, I finished it today.
I am a nonsense.
1) In general, I cannot recommend it. It would be fine-but-not-great without the pervasive Victorian antisemitism but damn, there is some pervasive Victorian antisemitism. There are some fun bits, certainly, but they are perhaps not worth the trouble.
2) However. I do love very much that the book ends with Raffles and Bunny absconding from England for a Continental honeymoon vacation to avoid the police. That's delightful. Mr Hornung, I am so sad you didn't provide any details of this trip but I'm happy to fill in my own.
3) Also, the epilogue. Which is still melancholy but not as terribly sad as the end of the last book. I like that Bunny is getting old; that he's apparently alone and a little threadbare, but basically okay; that he's gotten fat and he wears glasses now and has a hole in his sock. My hopeless darling rabbit, I want to hug him so bad.
(I go back and forth on how much of The Knees of the Gods I think is true - it varies from day to day. Reading this has made it a "definitely lies, Raffles faked his death again" day so that I can imagine him in his forties, white-haired and a little too thin and also basically okay, waiting for Bunny to come home from the Turkish baths.)
The trouble is that now it's been long enough that I want to start reading the short stories again from the beginning and I really should put it off till Letters from Bunny starts in March.
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seven-saffodils · 2 years
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#i made the mistake of getting into a twitter discourse#so i am going to rant about it here rather than wading deeper into the mire#i'm just so baffled by the concept of a ''failed marriage''#like i don't think it's something you fail at?????#i'm not trying to like. euphemize things#if you get divorced i feel like that's just something that happens#i'm very biased bc my parents have such a good relationship now that they've been divorced like 20 yrs#but like if you and your partner are starting to have a toxic dynamic and you don't think it's something that's worth working through#ending it is not failure#like what am i a failed baker for choosing to move back home and work at a clothing store?#i think i could have a failed bakery business if i had to shut it down bc i didn't sell anything#but like if i just realized i wasn't excited to get up every morning at horrible o'clock and make breads and pastries#if i realized this wasn't how i wanted to spend the rest of my life#i don't think opting out is failure???? bc you didn't let the bad thing happen?? you averted it??#like definitely there's a politeness factor where you shouldn't talk abt anyone's ''failed marriage''#and also the sexism of blaming the divorcée for not ''keeping her man'' by not ''being a good wife''#like i guess if it's the woman's job to keep the man happy and she does not succeed then she has failed#but it turns out it's not currently 1950#anyway all that is to say#life is what you make it#if you're thinking of marriage in terms of success and failure then i hope you get a good grade in it???#but im really not sure if that's normal to want or possible to achieve#i think you've just got to be good to people for the sake of it???????
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inkskinned · 1 year
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we really didn't get violent enough about roe v wade being overturned. but and also - you're one person. you donated money. you went to the protest. you did what you could, which felt like doing basically nothing.
recently some big paper published an op ed (why did you even read it? you knew you'd get upset) about how it's gross that men can't find a partner because women don't want to suffer bad dates - they'd rather go to yoga class. you actually laughed - well, yeah! and it was funny until it wasn't, because something about it made your stomach churn. this is the thing, you want to say, but you don't have the words for what the thing is. just that men being bad at dating is your fault.
the thing is also on instagram. you don't know if it's a setting or algorithm thing, but these days, the most hurtful comments always seem to skim the top. simple reaction is don't read the comments but - you're human, so you're curious. you want to respond to every weird, sanctimonious one with replaying something a million times to find evidence they're lying about their gender is literally sexual harassment you shouldn't be proud of this or maybe get a fucking life you absolute dickhead but you've gotten into enough of these battles as a kid. nothing ever resolves. it just makes you upset.
your father was radicalized. the thing is - you go to therapy about it and yet never find the words for exactly the way that one hurts.
the other day your sister predicted that a commercial that aired during the superbowl was going to cause trouble. you wanted her to be wrong about that. this morning, while scrolling, you saw someone post exactly that - he got so angry i had to leave. it was terrifying. it reminds you, however bleakly: there are entire swathes of people who do not worry about domestic violence. who have no idea why you would put keys into your fist. who do not understand "it's better to be rude than dead." who have never googled am i being gaslit.
the other day you found out there's a bill that would make it so if you have a uterus and are braindead, you could fulfil your cattle purpose and carry a fetus to term. you think about the fact that the leading cause of death for pregnant people is murder. you think about ongoing and informed consent. you think about how, out of fear, if your ex boyfriend had pressured you, you absolutely would have said yes to it. in the comments, you write there is no way that these documents wouldn't be immediately forged. this is going to be misused. and then just delete it, sighing. get up and go to work.
the other day they overturned roe v wade. we weren't nearly violent enough about it. somewhere, a clock is ticking. it's been ticking a long time. you want to say it's time, but it's been time for a while, hasn't it.
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hatkuu · 7 months
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omg omg loving sex w kylar after he gets jealous seeing you talk to someone else and you remind him youre not going anywhere youre all his <333
oopsies sorry this took so so long nonnie!! i am wading my way through so many good asks lately hehe i vow to finish them all soon!!
tw: gen! reader (no specific genitals mentioned), m! kylar, pregnancy talk, breeding kink, make up smut, mention of starting a family with kylar...
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"Kylar?"
Your hand trails down his cheek, fingers tracing against acne-scarred flesh as your thighs wrap around his bony mid-section.
Even as you touch him so lovingly - with so much reverence that he has to bite back a jaw-straining smile - Kylar refuses to forget what you pulled today. You pause, surprised that your boyfriend isn't instantaneously melting in your hands. Eyes squinted in confusion instead of your previous sultry expression, you pull back to meet your boyfriend face to face.
Kylar's lips rest in a heavy pout, brows creased with ire as his eyes stare back at your own half-closed ones. He huffs, loudly, obviously upset with you over something or someone you interacted with today. His pout doesn't falter, not even as you fight back a giggle - subsequently, as Kylar continues to uphold his seething - you burst out into a scene of hideously contagious laughter.
You wheeze, falling backward onto the headboard of Kylar's bed as he mumbles, turning his head away to stare at the wall to the left of you.
"Don't be like that, baby!"
Your hands quickly redirect Kylar, quickly pressing a laugh-sweetened kiss against his sour ones. "If I did something, you should tell me instead of just getting upset, okay?" Despite the seriousness of your question, you don't stop pressing quick pecks against his lips. Kylar's pout falters for only a second; and that's when you know you have him.
"Who's bed am I in right now, hmm?"
Kylar's face flushes heavy and his pout quickly morphs into a shy smile. His breath hitches, eagerly tugging you back into his lap. "M-Mine," He breathes out shakily, always so eager to respond to you. "Y-You're in my bed."
"Mhm," you murmur lowly, pressing a much firmer kiss to Kylar's lips to show your appreciation at his obedient answer. "I'm in Kylar's bed right now," You smile against his skin as Kylar laves at your own, tasting you rather than kissing. He's desperate for you, so appreciative of your cooed out affirmations of his position as your lover.
"So Kylar shouldn't get jealous over people who don't matter—"
Kylar quickly pulls back, gripping at your shoulders with a concerning intensity.
"But—"
"Nooo," You tease, unphased by the jealousy behind his eyes - the same jealousy that has him pulling knives on people - continuing your loving carresses despite the concerning situation. "I'm your's - and if you're so jealous—"
"'m not jealous—"
"—maybe you should make everyone know I'm your spouse, hmm?"
"M-My spouse," Kylar shudders, his grip loosening as his gaze morphs from jealousy into pure, unadulterated lust. "Y-Yeah," He groans, face falling into your neck, lapping and biting at the tender flesh on your collarbones. "My spouse..." He talks to himself more than to you, too busy marking your skin with an artwork of purple, splotched hickeys.
"We'll get married and have so many babies," You whisper, purposefully riling him up with the mention of starting a family, something that Kylar rambles about daily - something that he'd do anything for.
"Y-Yeah, I-I'll give you as many as y-you want," Kylar shivers, quickly pulling your underwear to the side to prod at your entrance with his fingers. You whine at the cold touch and Kylar presses an apologetic kiss to the side of your throat, sucking at the skin as he does so.
"Two sounds nice."
Kylar pulls back, smiling so wide at you that your own expression morphs into one that mirrors his. You gasp, back arching as Kylar's fingers slip inside of you. He doesn't break eye contact, committing your face to memory as you quiver just from his fingers.
"M-Maybe we'll even end up with m-more than just two!"
You squeak as Kylar's arousal presses hot and heavy against your bare thighs, twitching in excitement at the prospect of breeding you and having so many babies with you—
"Ah— You'll j-just have to be thorough, won't you?"
Kylar nods eagerly, pulling down his briefs to press his cock against your entrance, dragging it along the sensitive skin, relishing the twitching heat beneath him. He giggles as you arch your back further, aching to feel him inside you.
"I promise. I'll fuck you so good that— that you'll have no choice but to get pregnant a-and be mine forever— Y-yeah, I promise, m-my love."
You know for a fact that Kylar would never break a promise to you - especially not a promise as special as this one.
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justfangirlstuffs · 1 month
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So Much More
Adjustment periods can be difficult, job hunting even more so. But an unexpected visitor comes to provide a pleasant distraction. (Takes place after A Saltwater Room.) You x Sea Slug Moon
Wordcount: 2900
cw: slightly suggestive
Sea Slug AU belongs to @scarredlove
“Hello, sea star,” a voice spoke from your open bedroom window, causing you to nearly jump out of your skin.
You whipped around to see Moon climbing in through your window, his red eyes gleaming bright with delight and mischief. "Moon, you shouldn't be here," you muttered, hurriedly going to your bedroom door and closing it, locking it for good measure so no one came in unannounced. Your aunt said she'd be working late, and your cousin was staying the night elsewhere but... couldn't be too careful.
It had been several days since you'd been reunited with Moon and his siblings, Sun and Eclipse. Once you had believe them to be simple if not strange sea slugs that you had loved and lost years ago. Only to discover that in truth, they were some manner of mythical sea creature. Sea slugs, yet so much more than that. More than you could have ever guessed.
Honestly, you were still getting used to having them back in your life. It had been so long since you've seen them. They were so different, and you were different too. Time had chafed you, made you rough and tender around the edges. It didn't help that you were already going through an immense transition in your life. So suddenly having them back in your life... it was a lot.
"And yet, here I am," Moon giggled mischievously, leaning on the wall near the window.
The moonlight cast his shadow on the wall and reflected on his dazzling robes, the patterns of bio luminescence drawing your gaze with their mesmerizing beauty. His eyes were shining with amusement but he didn't look like he had any bad or malicious intentions.
His voice softened a margin. "Don't be mad... I just wanted to see you.”
The words cause an undeniable, split-second lift to your mood. When was the last time someone said those words to you? It felt like forever... "I'm not mad," you said quickly, wanting to reassure him in some form or fashion. You sat back down at your desk, with the newspaper classified ads spread out before you. "You guys just have a habit of showing up without warning. It can be..." What was a tactful way to put it? "...stressful."
The antennae on his hood twitched and drooped a bit. You didn't know it, but your words did make him feel a bit guilty. After all, he was known for sometimes being very intrusive and showing up unexpectedly, even when he's uninvited or at undesirable times. He took a step forward, leaning forward over your desk but not yet invading your personal space. Though by the look in his eyes it was on his mind.
"Well...we're family, right?" he said, as if that was enough of a justification for his actions. His head tilted to the side, his expression softening as his shoulders drooped a little. "Besides... aren't you happy to see me?"
You thought about that question. Which, yeah, wild that you even had to think about it. Most people would probably find it weird; shouldn't you be able to just.... know how you feel? Yet you had to pause, and reflect, and try and identify your mental state. And then you had to find the words to express it. It was like wading through static.
"I'm not unhappy," you said finally, looking at him sincerely. "And I'm not asking you to leave."
Moon was slightly taken back by your answer, but his eyes glimmered with amusement. "Well, that's a good start." He leaned a bit further on your desk, slowly closing the gap that was between you and him. "But you're not totally pleased by my presence either, are you? You're just tolerating it, is that right?" The corners of his lips curved upwards, as if he was daring you to try to lie.
"It's not that, it's just..." You bit your lip and glanced away from him, looking down at the multitude of jobs you'd either circled or crossed out. Such a simple task, yet for you it had been a monolith chore. "I just don't feel like I'm the greatest company right now."
He let his lips thin out, the smirk was replaced by concern. This wasn't the response he was hoping for. It might not be the worst that he could have heard, but it was not the best answer he could've gotten. His expression softened, his body became less imposing and he sat down on the bed beside your desk, gazing at you whilst taking care not to cross your personal space.
"Are you not feeling alright?" He asked earnestly, you could tell he was genuinely concerned for you and not just asking out of politeness.
Wasn't that a loaded question? But thankfully at least you had an immediate source of stress you could identify and voice.
"I need to find a job." You sighed, pinching bridge of your nose and squeezing your eyes shut for a moment. "I've been applying to various places but... I keep getting rejected."
It was tiring, and it was stressful, and it was such a soul sucking ordeal. Putting in the effort, waiting to hear back, only to be overlooked or declined. Not exactly a boon towards your self-esteem.
"Why do you need a job?" he asked curiously, head tilted to the side. He was still sitting near you, his legs crossed and hands resting in his lap. It was such an ordinary position but something about it made him seem even more approachable and calm. It was a stark contrast to his usual self that often seemed impish and playful.
"Because... I need to make money. I need to help out. I can't.... I can't be a waste of space." You voice broke over those last three words, like glass shattering against rocks. Tears burned your eyes as your anxiety swelled.
Moon's eyes widened in shock at your sudden breakdown, you looked... fragile and vulnerable, yet your words had an underlying tone of determination to them. You spoke as if you were ashamed and have to pay for simply existing in this world. His expression softened, he immediately reached out and grasped your hand. His skin was soft and cool, the texture far too smooth and alien to be human, yet it felt comforting.
"You're not a waste of space," he said in a quiet voice, his long fingers carefully lacing with yours. "Not to me. To me, you're... so much more than that."
Tears dripped down your face, and even though his words didn't completely calm your fears, they were until to keep you from getting pulled under by the riptide of anxiety. Moon's touch and genuine affection was like a life preserver keeping you afloat on rough waters. You were still getting tossed, but you weren't drowning.
"Thank you," you murmured, giving his hand a firm squeeze.
"Anytime," he answered, continuing to speak in that soft and gentle way. "And also..." He hesitated for a moment, but he looked at you. His gaze was sincere and genuine, like he wanted to say something but afraid of ruining the mood. "You can always come to me when you're feeling like this. I just... don't want you to be alone during these difficult times. Not again."
That managed to bring a small smile to your face, and you sniffled, wiping your tears with the sleeve of your jacket. "I'll keep that in mind, if I ever want to pal around with a troublemaker like you."
"Aww, troublemaker, huh?" He chuckled, a mischievous grin slowly spreading across his face as he squeezed your hand a bit. "A compliment from you? What a surprise. I feel honored."
A snort of mirth erupted from you and you had to grab some tissues to clear out your sinuses before you felt a little better. Moon shifted slightly in his seat, trying to get comfortable, though it's evident that all he wants to do is to get closer to you. He gave your hand a small tug, silently urging you to sit on the bed with him. You gave a heavy sigh but decided to let him pull you away from work to plop onto your mattress beside him.
"Wanna know a secret?" he asked, his antennae twitching restlessly.
"Oh, a secret?" you murmured, giving your voice an edge of conspiratorial playfulness. "Now I feel honored."
"It's about you." The glint in his eyes was impish and his smirk indicated that he was up to something. "But don't tell anyone, alright? Keep it between yourself and your old pal Moon."
"My lips are sealed." You drew your hand across your mouth like you were closing a zipper. "So, what's the secret?"
"The secret is..." He shifted his body closer to you - close but not too close- and you caught the scent of sea breeze and something sweet... like watermelons. His gaze sharpened on you, as if he was studying every small detail about your face.
His smile was still etched right across his features and you could practically feel his excitement building up. He took a deep breath as if he was about to tell you something that was forbidden. He whispered the words into your ear.
"You're beautiful." He had finally found a word that fit perfectly for what he wanted to say, and he just had to say it. His grin brightened up into a big smile, his gaze shifting from your eyes to your lips.
Your heart stuttered in your chest and suddenly heat was overwhelming your face like you'd just stepped out into the mid-afternoon sun. "O-Oh..."
Moon observed the effect his words had on you. Your blush, your fluttering heart beat, the way your breath seemed to come out all too lightly and quickly. He took note of all of them. His smile didn't falter, neither did his gaze. He took a risk, he was now closer to you, you could feel his robes brushing against your skin, gently caging you like the most lovely and velvety cage imaginable. His hand was still gripping yours as he stayed silent, letting the moment linger. He wanted you to experience it, to savor it and to feel it's warmth.
Your heart thumped loudly at the sudden proximity and you eased back just a little bit. Even after all these years, it seemed Moon was still a cuddly little guy... except he wasn't little anymore. And your perceptions of him were vastly different from how they were when you were younger.
"H-How have you been?" you asked. It was an attempt at regaining some control of the situation, yet it was also a question that had been on your mind every since you re-discovered them.
Despite the sudden change of subject Moon didn't seem to mind. He chuckled, his fingers still holding yours, his thumb tenderly brushing over your heated skin.
"I've been alright. Though..." His voice became quieter, and you had to concentrate a bit to hear it. "I've really missed you."
"I missed you too..."
A thousand apologies got stuck in your throat, choking off your next words. You'd had no idea that Moon and his brothers had been lingering so close to home. If you had, you would have come back sooner. Instead, you had stayed away, the bittersweet memories too painful to revisit. Yet another thing to pile onto your list of regrets.
He nodded and a brief flash of concern crossed his expression, as if he could sense the guilt in you. "You don't have to say it, I know." He smiled, a slight pity in it. This moment was no longer filled with light or laughter, it was heavy and full of regret.
"The past years... have definitely been hard on all of us," He finally said, breaking the silence that had settled between the two of you. "Especially to you."
You shook your head, already guilty that you'd managed to bring down a pleasant mood. "I'm fine. I've been... managing." That felt like such a lie. You didn't feel like you've been managing at all. "Really, I'm... I'm dealing with it. I'd much rather hear about you."
The fact that you tried to dismiss the conversation with a quick 'I'm fine...' made him feel even more pity for you. He noticed your reluctance to talk about it. You were still dealing with something and you weren't ready yet. You needed more time, and that was something he was aware of.
"Can I ask you something?" he asked, his voice softer, gentler than before. He looked at you, and you could see that he took your feelings more seriously.
"Of course," you said quickly, eager for a change of topic. Eager for something to distract you from the heavy weight that seemed to constantly be anchoring you.
He shifted his body again, his long legs now crossed over each other, his robes fanning out across the bed like a gleaming river or waterfall. His eyes scanned every part of your face as if searching for something. Finally, he took a deep breath, then spoke again.
"You know, I thought I'd find you so different. You had been gone for so long, I thought you were going to be..." He broke the silence again. "Different."
A burble of laughter erupted up. Though it was more of an expression of surprise than actual mirth. "You mean I'm not?"
"No... not really." He shifted once again, now leaning slightly closer, his eyebrows curling upwards with curiosity. "I think you're still you. I was expecting to see a complete stranger here. But you're still you. Everything that I remembered is still there. You're still adorable, you're still kind, and you're still so very warm." He smirked, his gaze was now intense as he stared at you closely. "Are you still ticklish, though?"
Your eyes widened and before you could react Moon pounced. You feel back on the bed, squirming as Moon began tickling you. "Moon! Moon! Stop! I can't... Noooooooo!" You screeched between fits of laughter as you kicked and squirmed.
Moon laughed, amused by the sight. He began to tickle you ruthlessly, his fingers quickly exploring every inch of your stomach, sides, and even underneath your arms. His laughter became so intense that he almost couldn't breathe. "I've missed doing this to you so much, little crab," he confessed between giggles. "And I missed the noises you make."
He eased up a bit and you had a moment to catch your breath, wheezing and giggling as you stare up at him. You were entirely sure what he meant. Was he referring to the times when you would take him out of his tank and let him crawl along your arms and neck? That had to be it.
"You are such a gremlin," you muttered, but the comment was said with affection. A lot had changed but... it seemed Moon wasn't all that different either.
"The cutest gremlin you'll ever meet," he replied, his voice dripping with mischief.
Moon leaned down towards your face, his hands still on your stomach as he gave you a big smile. He giggled with you, both of you were red in the face from laughing and from being tickled, and yet the two of you seemed so happy at that moment. He shifted slightly, trying to get a bit closer to you, his hands gently moving to your legs.
He leaned down, his face close to yours. "You know what I miss the most?"
The mood seemed to suddenly shift, and like the lurch of a car turning too quickly, you found yourself a little unsteady as you stared up at him. "Wh-what?" you spluttered out.
"Your scent," he said, his voice was very quiet and calm. He had moved even closer, he was breathing out in hot puffs on your face, and you could see his chest rising and falling. His gaze went down as he looked at you, his hands were still firmly on your legs, but he had made no sudden movements.
“Your taste.” Once again, one of his hands found yours, effortlessly threading them together as though that were their natural state. There was a calmness in the still, the air was heavier, a bit more intense, but not in a bad way. His voice was very soft and sincere, almost as if he was trying to tell you something.
"And your kisses," he finally said. This moment was finally ripe, it gave him the chance to see if you were still open to the idea. He was now even closer to you. His gaze pierced through yours, as if looking for an answer in them.
Staring up at him, you found yourself at a loss for words. He couldn't possibly mean what you were thinking, right? Sure, you used to kiss him. But he'd been just a little slug you could hold in the palm of your hand. But now he was... he was... what?
Before you could say or do anything, a stream of water shot across the room and hit Moon in the face, splashing against his cheek. You jumped as Moon hissed in surprise. The both of you looked around to see his brother, Sun, standing in your room with a squirt bottle in his hand and a far too wide smile on his face. To be continued...
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unhappy-last-resort · 1 month
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The Puppet In A Forest (Yandere Roland x GN Reader)
Warnings: forced kissing, bone breaking, drugging, implied minor surgery performed without readers consent, tracking
A/N: I apologize for any stiff writing or grammar mistakes. This was literally just supposed to be this short little 1 AM thing for his birthday and it fucking spiraled into this
Status: not edited
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You wade through crystal waters, fireflies twinkling around you like little stars in the night and comforting you ever so slightly, the quiet chirping of crickets in the distance is calming enough to make you almost forget there was an ongoing war outside this place, but unfortunately not enough to make you forget why you're here. The letters you received six hours ago have led you to an rural town in thr outskirts of Kowloong, to a pond with bamboo growing in its edges.
You suck in a breath and steady your grip on your gun. You really shouldn't be here, not for the reasons you're weaving through towering rods of bamboo, anyway. Your heart tussles with itself, one part saying that you should turn back, the other telling you to push forward. Meeting an Ascendant isn't just dangerous to your prestigious position as Gray Ravens commandant, but also physically.
You're going to the coordinates you found inside the Russian dolls Roland sent you and the thought that it's just a trap has never once left your mind. Roland is a trickster, murderer, manipulator, and an actor, there is absolutely no reason you shouldn't have forwarded those letters to Hassen and Nikola, no reason for you to be here alone, and no reason for you to feel a painful tug in your heart when you read the last line of his second letter.
"I'll be waiting for you and gladly accept whatever you have for me, whether it's a bullet, a restraint, or an Activation Date gift."
In your uncertainty, you've prepared all three, your gun loaded and drawn at any potential danger, the restraints dangling off your hip, and a small box of chocolates sitting securely in your bag. It's unconventional for a birthday gift, but you don't have time to look, or make something more appropriate and frankly, there's no reason for you to put more effort in. You're enemies, not friends, and you don't owe anything to him.
You keep moving, the mud of the ponds floor squishing beneath your thigh high boots, the water beneath you littered with fallen leaves from the bamboo above you. Gradually, the bamboo starts to thin out, easing you into a small empty space. There's a rock sitting in the center, bathed by the moonlight as fireflies dance around it.
You can't see anyone, or a sign that anyone was here to begin with, although it's not like you'd find much in a shallow pond at night. You carefully feel out the ground ahead of you before stepping forward, it's easy to fall for the illusion of ground beneath you and end up much more wet than you intended and it'd be much harder to explain your little trip to your team if you came back dripping wet.
You reach the center of the clearing and look around. No one's here, it's just you. The water sloshes and ripples with every movement you make, announcing your presence to the surrounding silence...was it always this quiet?
Plunk.
You whip around, gun pointed in the direction of the sound as you glare into the dark, as if the very darkness itself would somehow lift to reveal what hides inside it. You stay like that for half a minute, ears and eyes straining for movement, but there is none. No more noises, just silence. It's only now do you realize that the fireflies that were here have disappeared, as if they'd been scared off by something, but what could scare a bunch of bugs?
You look around again, re-observing your surroundings. You look down and see these tiny little black dots in the water, confused you reach down and scoop one up in your palm and bring it close to your face.
It's an insect, it looks like a firefly. Your eyebrows furrow and you check your terminal, scanning the air quality...nothing. Punishing levels are low, and nowhere near fatal for a human, and there are no other toxins present in the air. You rack your brains, trying to think of anything that might cause a bunch of bugs to just die like this, but you come up with nothing.
You inspect the bug again, as if there's anything else a simple big would be hiding-
Wait.
There are tiny, inconspicuous little ball joints on each of its legs, and a very thin seam where the body connects to its abdomen, which on closer inspection is just an LED light trapped in a casing. It's mechanical. It's a fake. You've been surrounded by hundreds of mechanical bugs since you came to the clearing, maybe since you first stepped foot near the pond.
You drop it from your hand, it's body making a small plink sound as it falls into the water. You sigh and look up, only to find yourself caught in the gaze of a pair of eyes.
A figure clad in black and white with grey hair stands as still as a statue. His hair is undone and pulled forward, his long locks falling over his shoulders, his eyes glow like jewels in the moonlight, the cool tones of his outfit making his eyes stand out even more.
"Prefiero un minuto contigo a una eternidad sin ti." He whispers, the silence around us making even the quietest whispers apparent. "I never thought you would come. Hah...I thought I'd made myself a fool again."
You sigh through your nose, your grip on your gun is tight, but pointed at the water. In your shock you hadn't pointed it at him, your mind still trying to fathom how many fake fireflies there were and what else around you was an illusion that, you hadn't thought of giving yourself a defensive position. And getting into one now may escalate things.
"You're always a fool." You mutter ruefully, keeping your eyes on his. "Why would you think your enemy would respond to you?"
A grin stretches across his face, growing wider until he bursts into a chuckle. "Well, you did, didn't you? Besides," He pauses, smile dropping into a deadpan. "I did say I wanted to get you out, no matter what. Didn't I?"
"What would you have done if the letters hadn't worked, then?"
Another chuckle. "Oh, wouldn't my little rabbit like to know? Tell you what, if you can win my game, I'll tell you."
Roland starts moving towards you, he moves silently, so much so that if you hadn't seen the water moving you would have thought he was a ghost or a figment of imagination. It was like he was one with the space around him, seamlessly fitting in as if he belonged there- as if he was always there.
You breath, feeling more anxious by the moment as Roland closes in at a steady pace. "What game?"
"It's just a simple question, if you answer correctly you win, if you don't..." He smiles again.
"...What happens if I lose?"
"Hmm....I get to take a present from you." He stops at arms reach from you, smile still plastered on his face and an undeniable glee glinting in his eyes.
"I already brought you one though." His eyes widened in surprise, his smile faltering for a moment.
"You really brought me a gift? Here I was expecting you to restrain me and bring me back to Babylonia."
You watch him for a moment before reaching a hand into the bag at your hip, Roland's eyes flickering from your hand to your face, the flurry of emotions behind them tells you he's as desperate as he is distrusting of you right now. Slowly, you pull out the chocolates and hand it to him.
"Aww, do you really have to be so stiff?" He chuckles, tilting his head slightly, it felt half mocking, half curious as he graciously took the box from you and gingerly opens it.
"Oh my, this is quite a romantic gift. Could it be the Gray Raven Commandant is harboring feelings for an Ascendant?" He muses, feigning shock.
You roll your eyes and attempt to snatch the box out of his hand. "I can always take it back."
He leans back, looking almost offended, keeping the chocolates out of your reach. "Of course not! Anything from you is treated with the utmost care."
"But this is the first time you're getting something from me?"
He smiles, popping a chocolate in his mouth before tucking the box away in his coat. "Well now, should we start the game?"
"You didn't answer my question."
"Is this place real, or an illusion?" He stares at you, smile still on his face as the question hangs in the silence.
"...What?"
"Is it real, or an illusion?"
His expression is indiscernible, emotions hidden behind the thick curtain of a jester's smile. The silence of the area you're in is deafening, the previous chirps of crickets had long gone, leaving you and Roland in a pool of knee deep water, sprinkled with mechanical bugs on its surface.
As much as those things may have been fake, you were certain the rest couldn't be. The lake, the bamboo, those things had to be real. The amount of materials required to do something isn't something Roland would have access to, not to mention the time required.
"It's real."
He looks pleased, too pleased for your liking. "Is that your final answer?"
You hesitate. Are you wrong? Or is that just what he wants you to think? Indecision rips at your mind, your thoughts circling each other over and over, never getting any closer to an answer. Is he playing a trick, or are you overthinking? But he looked so happy when you said it was real, so you must've gotten it wrong, right?
"Uh...No!" You fumble, almost out of desperation. Your answer swings like a pendulum in your mind.
"No?" He drawls, putting a hand to his chin as he watches you.
"No...it's fake." You breath.
Roland raises a brow. "Are you sure?"
You suck in a breath, if you take it back again, you'll just be stuck in a never ending loop of second guessing yourself. "Yes."
Roland laughs and it makes you flinch, it feels especially loud in your ears for some reason. "Alea jacta est. Congratulations, my dear little puppet."
He announces with all his usual bravado as he closes the distance between you two. Alarmed you move back only for his hand to grip your wrist, rendering your hand with the gun useless. You pull at your arm as hard as you can, but you only succeed in earning a chuckle from him.
He pulls you close and before you can realize what's going on you feel lips press against yours in a greedy, pawing kiss. His teeth nip at your bottom lips, his tongue swiping over and attempting to push through your lips. You resist, refusing to open your mouth and using all your strength to break yourself free.
"Quit struggling." Roland grunts and twists your wrist unnaturally, a snap sounding up your arm and you open your mouth to scream, only for it to never make it out into the world and being swallowed by Roland instead.
His tongue explores every inch of your mouth with a fervor that speaks of an untold longing and desperation, an insatiable need that quickly overwhelms you with the pain in your wrist.
You feel drowsy, the edges of your vision blurring as continues his forced affection. You try to fight it, but you can't, your vision fading on a string of saliva between you and eyes of amber and ruby aglow like flames.
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You gasp, your heart pounding as you stare at the wooden beams above you. It takes you a moment to realize you're in the abandoned tea house, the one you and your team decided to camp in.
You sit up slowly, your sleeping bag rustling quietly as you move. Your head hurts and you feel woozy just from sitting up, it takes you a moment to realize one of your wrists is bandaged, although it doesn't feel like it was done well despite it appearing to be wrapped properly.
You groan, how did you end up hurting your wrist again? Everything feels so foggy in your head that you can't remember.
"Hey Command- what the hell?" A captain dashes over to you, you vaguely remember his name being Casper.
Ah, that's right. You were sent on a mission to Kowloong to help assist a team that had gone for artifact retrieval. The battle ended a while ago and your team agreed to wait until day break to return to Babylonia.
Casper looks flustered, gently bringing your arm up to inspect your cast.
"Hey, Didi! Get Mao and have him dress a wound the Commandant got!" He yells to the door before turning back to you. "How did you do this? You should've asked one of us to help you if you didn't know how to wrap your injury."
You consider saying something, but instead you give a half-hearted smile and apologize. You don't want to cause them more grief than you likely already have.
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An airy chuckle dances in the wind as the transport craft from Babylonia lifts off with its passengers. Pointlessly, Roland waves it goodbye as if you could see it- not like you'd appreciate it even if you did. Maybe you'd even hate him by now, if you hadn't before.
Still, like a fool he clung to the hope that you'd be someone he could count on. No, that's not quite right. Something he could own, a person he could claim for himself and not share with others.
As much as the temptation to whisk you away as you rested unconscious in his arms was deliciously enticing, he would be a fool to think he could protect you from Babylonia's lackeys, let alone in this old frame. Without a doubt the best of the best would come from you and he had difficulty enough with just Gray Raven, and that Kamui fellow and his original have been a pain too. The only way he'd be able to do that now would be to go to Der Meister himself and he made his skin crawl. He would never trust the likes of him with Luna, or you.
For now, he'll just have to settle with knowing where you are. He did his best to make sure everything was sterile when he made the incision, although he was still worried that it might get infected...Oh well, even if it did and that tracker got discovered, there are still others among your things, so it won't be that big of a deal.
"La vie est une fleur dont l'amour est le miel. 'Til we meet again, my dear."
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brekkie-e · 8 months
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Sometimes I just. Dont like the internet. I can't seem to escape seeing the Astarion's Correct Path to Sexual Healing argument no matter what tags I block.
I don't want to actually wade in to it, but I just want to say that there could stand to be a LOT less hostility being spewed about when the topic is that close to many people's hearts. There doesn't need to be a more "morally" correct version of healing for him. He is in the MIDDLE of recovery. Not at the end of it. That chapter is up to interpretation to each player.
It is incredibly unkind to automatically accuse people of infantalizing him for preferring a more ace route. It does not HAVE to be infantalizing. Astarion continuing to explore his needs and boundaries and discovering that he doesn't need sex and it doesn't give him the emotional intimacy he craves can be an empowering aspect of self acceptance. That can be growth. A sign of his continued journey towards autonomy. He has spent, unironically, a lifetimee having sex. If even at the end of the day, he comes to realize it's simply disinteresting to him- that's a valid route to recovery. That doesn't make him broken. That is without even mentioning the reality some people do not go back to "baseline" as they heal. Sometimes our baseline changes because of our experiences. He may discover as time goes on that no matter how much he tries, it never stops triggering negative feelings in him. I have my own personal experiences with this, and I think there's something very powerful in accepting yourself for who you are now, and not feeling like you have an obligation to "fix yourself" and get back to a version of you that no longer exists.
The flipside?
Astarion learning to love being sexually intimate with his partner does not inherently mean that the player is ignoring his desire to "not be seen sexually." Astarion at multiple points expresses an interest in trying it out. It doesn't always go well, but it's his choice to pursue it and that should be respected. He, just like irl sex abuse survivors, should be supported as they try to create a new relationship with it. He shouldn't be discouraged from having his own desires. Being able to take something that was used to hurt you and create a new and positive relationship with it because you found someone you love and trust that is patient with you is a BEAUTIFUL story. It is narratively satisfying and also a reflection of real growth as well. Telling people that they're somehow mistreating the character for wanting that for them is also unnecessarly hostile.
There is also a secret, third option. His relationship with it might remain fluid and change constantly through out his life. Healing is not linear. His interest in it may fluctuate. His response to it might fluctuate. He may go through periods of not wanting it again. He might one day decide he wants to try it again. It's not set in stone.
All I am saying is that there SHOULD be room in this fandom for all three of these truths to exist. It shouldn't be necessary to shout from the roof tops how much he loves sex to prove a point to people who think differently than you. They may have their own reasons for resonating with him in a different way. Flipside, it is entirely uncalled for to attack people for wanting him to be able to enjoy it again.
I guess what I am trying to say is make space for and be kind to your fellow fan.
Also, Astarion has WAY more trauma than simply his relationship to sex. So like. Maybe it's time we moved past this topic collectively and discuss the many other ways his life has been affected by Cazador.
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im-not-batman · 7 months
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For the ask WIP game
Spideypool falling please 😊
Oh I LOVE this one!
It's a 5+1 of spideypool falling for eachother and then Falling For Eachother. Featuring Dadpool because I'm a big fan of his work (Ellie).
"It really creeps me out when you do that, Webs." Wade said, sinking deeper into Peter's beat-up couch and kicking his fluffy-sock-clad feet up onto the other half of it that Peter was perched above. "I like sitting up here, sends all the blood to my brain so that I can beat you quicker," Peter reasoned and as if on queue the tinny TV speaker announced yet another victory. "You're such an asshole, Baby Boy," Wade smirked up at him, sounding more proud than annoyed. He threw a couple of M&Ms up for Peter to catch in his mouth, "do the other heros know how much of an asshole their comrade is?" Around his mouthful of chocolate and peanuts, he grinned, "I save all my worst bits for you, Wade." It was true too. He always felt like he needed to pose and posture around his fellow superheroes. Even though he'd come into his own as Spider-man over the last ten years, he still yearned for their approval and strived for their respect. Around Wade though, there was no need to pretend he was any better than he actually was. He didnt feel the need to constantly be on his best behaviour. Peter let his sass and sarcasm, disdain and irritation, good moods, bad moods and everything inbetween run rampant around Deadpool. And he never felt like he was being judged or evaluated. Just admired. Ecouraged even. "I'm touched," he said, throwing up another handful of M&Ms. This time Peter didn't react quick enough, lost in thought, and missed them.
Instead Wade caught the chocolates in his own mouth. Which shouldn't have been a thing but Peter's brain was making it a thing. He couldn't figure out if it was the ease with which he caught them – Peter's attraction to competency rearing it's ugly head – or the fact that the M&Ms were intended for his mouth and were now in Deadpool's. Either way, Peter's brain was doing some sort of horny gymnastics to rationalise it as tonsil tennis by-proxy. He watched Wade's throat bob as he swallowed. Peter's concentration was decidedly broken. He slipped. Usually that wouldn't be an issue; usually he'd have fallen from a much greater height and thus had more time to catch himself. But he was hanging from the ceiling this time. Granted, it was a relatively high ceiling, but not high enough. He let out an indecipherable jumble of a scream/shout/warning and Wade managed to dive out of the crash zone in time to not be knocked out by a 170 pound moron. When Peter didn't feel the heavy, throbbing pain of head trauma, he managed to gather his wits enough to realise that his head hadn't made contact with anything.
After another moment, he realised that Wade had seemingly managed to get his hand between Peter's skull and the floor. He still found himself uncomfortably contorted - half on the couch, half off, in a sort of human pretzel situation - but Wade had reacted in enough time to keep his head from cracking against the ground. And he was still holding him that way.
Peter's brain stopped working again. "Sorry," Wade said, trying to right the hero so that he was no longer lying at a downward 45 degree angle with legs akimbo, "Dad reflexes."
Peter wanted to scream. "You're apologising for saving me from a concussion?" Peter attempted to tease but it fell flat when he saw Wade's face, "Are you okay?" He let out a choked laugh, "Am I okay?" He asked incredulously, "you just fell eight feet." "And yet you're the one looking a bit loopy," Peter half laughed but wasn't able to keep the worry from seeping into his tone. "You scared the shit outta me, thought you were gonna go splat!" Deadpool justified. "From that height? Child's play. If I'd splatted, I'd have deserved it." It was a joke but Wade didn't seem to find it funny. "You should look after yourself better, Petey," he looked like he realised he was being too serious then, and his demeanor visibly shifted, "you don't regenerate, so you gotta look after that sinfully gorgeous meat suit of yours."
Ty ty for the ask! I really wanna get back into writing these two, I love them so much 🥲
Send me an ask with which of my WIPs from This Post you wanna hear about!
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bengiyo · 7 months
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Only Friends: And Another Thing
No, because I'm still annoyed. I know only like me and four other people in BL fandom remember Noah's Arc, but this is my big problem with having grown up desperate for queer cinema and fighting for my life to watch what I can, especially when it was about Black people.
In episode 2 of Noah's Arc, Wade (who is straight) invites Noah over to hang out and proposes a threesome with a woman friend of his. Wade eventually gets jealous of Noah and Brandy kissing and asks her to leave. Noah and Wade talk about it, and Noah cuts through the BS to say that they shouldn't hang out because he's falling for Wade, and then the two have sex.
What's different between Only Friends and Noah's Arc is Noah is codependent as hell on his friends and sneaks off to call his friends to tell them what happened, and we also see the afterglow scene between Noah and Wade.
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Noah: How do you feel? Wade: I feel good...and scared...but mostly good. Alex: And what did you say? Noah: Don't worry. I'll protect you... Noah, to his friend: Of course, what I don't know...is who's gonna protect me. Alex: Uh, hello? We will! Ricky: Yeah! Noah: And what I didn't say is I'm scared, too. Chance: That makes four of us.
I just don't think these characters in Only Friends captured the way a messy friend group feels. The tension between "I love you because you're my friend" and "I can hurt you so much because I know you" and "Why can't I be loved?" is just missing from this project.
Sex was such a big deal for Mew and we didn't get anything like this to see how sex affected him.
I am once again begging you all to watch For The Boys
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Note
I wanted to throw in my opinion on the Trans MC if you want it! Option 3 would be a lot of extra writing and coding, so I get that it wouldn't be a decision made lightly and it would be added pressure to get it right and it's a sensitive topic for sure. I will say that if you chose to go this route tho, it would make a huge difference and mean a lot to us. I'm a trans athlete, and the lack of representation can be really discouraging. It's time like these where we are receiving so much hate, especially when it comes to sports, that allies could really step up and make a difference. Reading can really open people's minds! It may be difficult and uncomfortable, and take extra work, but that's our everyday tbh. We out here living on hard mode 😂 that's just my thoughts on the matter but I will respect you and read your story either way. Much love 🏳️‍⚧️♥️
Hey! Thank you so much for sending this! This gets long, forgive my wordiness.
First off, I really feel your statement to the bone, the part about how allies could step up and make a difference, and how positive rep in media, games etc. is insanely important.
So many stories, TV shows, movies have shaped my experience of being queer and POC, and while some of them have been nice just so I could see someone like myself being represented, the ones that really made an impact are of course the ones where these identities were explored in a sensitive, thoughtful way. (When I watched Saving Face for the first time at 17, about a queer Chinese American doctor, I bawled my eyes out and dont think I've been the same since).
I would absolutely love if CT:OS/my IFs could do this for trans athletes too.
I've seen/heard so many worrying statements about trans athletes (both in real life and in the media)—and it makes me so sad.
Some that really get me really riled up are: The idea that a trans athlete's accomplishments mean nothing because they "have an unfair advantage" (or putting it down to "just hormones" or whatever instead of recognizing the hardwork, skill, and dedication behind EVERY successul athlete, trans or not). Or the idea that trans athletes shouldn't get to choose to be trans if they want to be athletes. Or the idea of policing trans athletes' bodies or forcing them to undergo surgery in order for them to be "valid"...
Well, FUCK THAT. FUCK those people.
If my IF can help celebrate trans athletes, and combat/shut down the really harmful (and ignorant) rhetoric out there? I'd love to do that.
But since I am not trans myself, it feels doubly, triply important that I wade really carefully here. I'd really need to spend time making sure I like and can stand behind what I'm putting out. I don't think it'd be responsible representation, otherwise!
I'm not really a perfectionist about my writing and that's how I make progress on my IFs while working a full time job. I'm more the... "slap shit tgt, get it out there, get feedback and edit if I feel like it" kind of writer. And I don't think I'd be able to finish CT:OS / Merry Crisis any other way. But when it comes to race, gender, and sexual identity? I really. Really. Wanna get things right.
(I rewrote that Rayyan convo about being a POC athlete with Deepal so many times haha and it was already marginally less scary, since I am a POC athlete.)
I guess what I'm trying to say is, I agree it's so goddamn important to have trans stories, and rep, especially in sports, where views are often so toxic and polarized.
But I don't think I know yet whether I see my IF being more a simple "yay, trans rep" kind of space or an actual deeper exploration of what it means to be a trans athlete. I was quite prepared to add the option to be trans (+ any accompanying scenes etc.) when I have the complete CT:OS 1st draft, but I was also toying with the idea of just putting something imperfect into the game earlier.
Faced with indecision, I've opted for: procrastination. I am still waffling, but it was helpful to hear what you guys think. Thank you so much for your message.
Lots of love, keep being awesome ❤️
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joyflameball · 1 month
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WHITE DIAMOND AU STEVEN IS GOING TO FUCKING DROWN/ALMOST DROWN AND I'M NOT SURE IF I'M EXCITED OR TERRIFIED (theory post)
(cw drowning and stuff ofc)
Okay so in the past few days I read the entirety of Chekhov's White Diamond Steven AU, which is very good and everyone should read. And while reading it, I noticed something... interesting.
There are numerous instances where Steven will come close to drowning, and usually, someone will mention something along the lines of "Steven's a gem, he doesn't need to breathe." I looked through the comic to find instances, or references to Steven and drowning, or just how often Steven will go into deep water, and there are a lot. Some of my evidence could be reaching, but I have a somewhat coherent internal logic for why everything is here.
I apologize for the low image quality in places. The 30 image limit is kicking my ass.
In Seasons 1 and 2 there aren't that many instances. Steven goes underwater and comes out a soggy beast once in Season One, but that doesn't really count. In Season 2, while controlling Earl through dreams, he mentions "the water creeping higher and higher."
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And in the Season 2 finale, right before it's revealed that Steven is White Diamond, Steven goes into the water to save Earl, and emerges from the water with Earl, which is followed by Rose's realization and revealing that he's White Diamond. i'm gonna bring this up again later remember this
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In S3E27, Amethyst tells Steven to stop bleeding, moments before they go underwater and it's highlighted that Steven needs to breathe.
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In S3E31, Steven mentions he wishes he could breathe underwater, is moments later dragged underwater by Lapis, and at the end there's a panel of bubbles floating upwards.
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In S3E32, the Crystal Gems are discussing while Steven is zoning out, and Pearl(?) brings up how he shouldn't need to breathe underwater (implying they pulled him out of the water after nearly drowning). In S3E34, Lapis plunges Steven underwater, and parts the sea to let Steven find her (to reveal the full truth of who she is). S3E36, Lapis almost drowns Steven (after he reveals that he's white diamond, might i add. i'm going somewhere with this).
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In S3E46, Ruby and Steven go underwater, and after Steven comes up for air, he says he felt like his lungs weren't gonna take it, and Ruby points out that gems don't have lungs.
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In S4E1, Adventurine plunges Coral underwater, Steven's realization that it's just him and not him and Earl is paired with water and reflection imagery, and after they unfuse, there are a good few moments where they're underwater, and in shock.
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In S4E8, Stevonnie brings up how Steven doesn't need to breathe, but Connie does.
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S4E17 opens with Steven underwater and coming up for air.
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S5E1, Steven and Connie have a conversation in Rose's healing fountain, and they talk an awful lot about how Steven's very much alive, and very unlike the rest of the gems. And hints started being dropped that it's gonna be revealed soon that Steven's human.
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And oh yeah- in almost every single White Diamond Steven dream sequence, there is heavy use of water and reflection imagery.
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Okay. So there's all my evidence. I think it's undeniable that this is, at the very least, a pattern. Steven's been associated with drowning and water and all that jazz for a WHILE. So where am I going with this?
Well, to lead into my answer, I'd like to draw your attention to another pattern: truth being revealed, or starting to be revealed, or revelations being had, around water. With Steven realizing Earl's nowhere to be found in Coral, with Connie starting to realize Steven's human in Rose's fountain, and most notably, with everyone realizing Steven is White Diamond, after they wade out of the ocean.
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People have had the feeling for a little while that the reveal that Steven is human is coming up. Four seasons of believing Steven is a gem merely having deceived himself into believing he's human- that cannot continue forever. That bubble needs to pop one of these days. And with Connie having one of Steven's hairs, it's 100% coming up.
So here's my theory: part of the reveal that Steven is human is going to involve drowning somehow.
Because think about it: the gems currently believe Steven fully convinced himself he was human growing up, and as such, has conditioned himself to bleed, to want food, to get tired, and yes, to feel like being underwater for too long will cause him to drown. And so far, any instances to the contrary have been able to be brushed off with the belief Steven conditioned himself into seeing himself as human! Steven's hungry? He grew up believing he needed to eat. Tired? He grew up believing he needed sleep. Etc, etc, etc. Steven just needs to shake off that (if you will) programming, and once he does, he's home free.
But of course, that's wrong. He is human. He doesn't need food or sleep or air because he's conditioned himself into believing he needs them. He needs food and sleep and air because he is human. And the "he's conditioned himself into thinking he needs these" excuse works for a while. But there's a limit to that.
And I really think that limit would be "Steven almost/actually briefly dying." His heart stopping for a few moments. Programming can only go so far, and I don't think anyone could fully believe he's a gem after his heart stops.
And with how often Steven has gone underwater, I fully believe the reveal that he's human will come with Steven almost drowning- especially considering the water imagery in his White Diamond dreams, and ESPECIALLY considering the White Diamond reveal in Season 2 came directly after Steven waded into deep water. So it'd be a neat parallel- his Diamond status and human-ness are both revealed after going into deep water.
I also think Lapis COULD be involved with that somehow but I'm not completely sure how. Like she's gonna be FURIOUS if/when she's freed from the bubble- she got trapped AGAIN. So if and when she is released? She's gonna be pissed. And I don't think it'll go well for Steven.
@ask-whitepearl-and-steven DON'T TELL ME IF I'M RIGHT I JUST NEED TO GET THIS OUT THERE BEFORE MY BRAIN DISSOLVES IF I'M RIGHT THEN I'M GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE AND IT'LL BE PANDEMONIUM
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