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alicelufenia · 23 days

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I have finally finished my first BG3 playthrough

Gonna go into HUGE detail below the cut over all my thoughts, including spoilers of potentially everything I've encountered in the game (and maybe a few I haven't but already know about)

Playtime

Might as well just start with the obvious question: what was my playtime?

A little over 344 hours.

Granted that's total playtime, I spent a lot of time (though not as long as you'd think) in act 1 with several characters that didn't go anywhere, only actually progressing with Alice after like a month of waffling on what/who to play. Or going back to old saves to take screenshots or record for gifs (which reminds me, I can go back and make all sorts of gifs now if I want) or to test my extremely scientific tumblr posts on how to recruit Minthara by giving her a concussion.

Total ACTUAL playtime for my main tav

A more respectable 189 hours, not counting the epilogue which was like, an hour tops.

While I played a ton in 2023, my opportunity to play has been hampered this year somewhat. Which is why it took me til March to finish when I reached act 3 in DECEMBER. That's three months to get to Act 3, but but 4 months to finish it. And I didn't even do all the sidequests! I gave up on the painter's wife and the necromancy guy, and didn't even start the Umberlee thing (is that even a sidequest? I honestly don't know) Which still amounts to doing a LOT anyway, and not having the tiefling npcs around didn't feel like it impacted much outside of a lack of a vendor.

The Grove and Minthara

Speaking of which, I guess I should talk about my act 1 choices, and why I went with raiding the grove and romancing Minthara for my first playthrough (a thing that seems to be incredibly rare from what I've seen of poll responses here)

When you don't want to admit you committed mass murder for some pussy, and maybe a chance to save the world I guess

In short, my plan was for my Sorcadin (Oath of Glory Paladin/Shadow Sorcerer) to have a lapse in act 1 and break her oath in an attempt to get close to Minthara and sway her from the Absolute, before fighting to defend the grove and restoring her oath in the process, but that act would leave a stain on her soul (the levels of Shadow Sorcerer thanks to a mod).

But then I fell absolutely head over heels for her. Oops.

This was back before a way to recruit her while saving the tieflings was a part of the game, and for whatever reason I didn't want to use the mod that let you do it. So I thought, I'll split my saves at the grove battle where I betray or side with the tieflings. So betraying them is, well an ordeal for sure, but then Minthara's scene.

Oh boy

HAAAAAA

So yeah, after completing all that and then going back and fighting for the grove, I thought about it for like a week or two before deciding, screw playing the game twice with this split point, I'll continue from the betray the grove point, see where this goes. And just like that my character goes from a faltering hero to a fallen one. Instead of immediately restoring her oath, she would remain an oathbreaker for the rest of act 1 and nearly all of act 2.

Act 2

By far the biggest impact your choices in act 1 have are on your path through act 2. Technically you can go either way (meeting the harpers and reaching Last Light Inn first, or following Kar'niss' caravan straight to Moonrise Tower) regardless of your actions, but the game nudges you subtly to one or the other, mainly by pointing to where your potential allies will be. So I wound up at Moonrise first, and I had Minthara recruited very early in Act 2.

Essentially I did the act backwards compared to how many people would do it, going from Moonrise, to the surrounding town, to Last Light, then the Monastery, the Gauntlet of Shar, and finally the assault on Moonrise. My party's turning point to "good guys" during all this was basically right when they fight to defend Isobel at Last Light, making that particularly hard fight feel really meaningful to the story (it weirds me out how many people recommend skipping it, like what just save before, it's hard but not impossible)

This resulted in Act 2 having this seemingly intended escalation to it; we are at our lowest on the way to Moonrise. The dream visitor scene you can get on the way is really good here, they ask you how you felt about what happened to the grove. Very funny how they have an encouraging answer whether you say you don't care or you regret it. Especially after we find out who they really are.

Exploring the NPCs at Moonrise feels like a weird dark mirror of the grove, all these seemingly normal people doing their thing but talking about committing the worst atrocities so casually. Then you run into Minthara—your one real ally here—and she's been made a prisoner? By a seemingly immortal general! Seriously seeing Ketheric before hearing Jaheira's summary of him is a trip. And then I went to free Minthara from her prisoners, getting advantage on the wisdom check to break her free of the Absolute's voice cause of my previous relationship with her, and oh wow this is like the second best scene in the game this was the best decision I ever made in a game! Now let's make these bastard cultists bleed!!

Oh I was all in on Minthara's side at that point.

And yet weirdly ready to try and be a hero again. Alice had a purpose again, and allies willing to see it through. Though Wyll and Karlach had abandoned her at the grove, she was now invested in those who remained, and begins striving to lead them better. She strikes her first blow against the cultists by killing Marcus, and at the Gauntlet of Shar, while at first I tried to push Shadowheart toward sparing the Nightsong (which went horribly bad) instead Alice said she doesn't like it, but doesn't want to lose her, so she'll back her up no matter her choice.

And Shadowheart chose to spare the Nightsong. And I was introduced to my OTHER favorite character in the whole game, Dame Aylin!

And now the act hits its highest point. Having Minthara with me for the assault on Moonrise feels SO right, she has dialogue with Z'rell, a reason to be there in every fight to come, the final battle is

JUST

It's so cool.

And then Minthara has one of if not her best scene in the whole game

Not only this line, but her whole speech on Orin, her continued quest for vengeance, with the ultimate goal of replacing the Chosen Three and becoming the Absolute. And shortly after Minthara confesses to her, and I was so blown away that it happened so early!

This was also when her romance was still a shambling pile of broken flags, and I was so happy it actually worked I immediately restored Alice's oath, as she renews her vow to seek legendary heights of glory (by seizing the elder brain).

Leaving the shadowlands and heading to act 3 also leads to the last (major) change caused by my choices in act 1; the shadow curse remains. I did attempt Art's quest, which ended when we had to confirm that Halsin was dead (or so we thought, but wait until I talk about that much later!), leaving the curse unliftable.

And honestly, probably the biggest let down I've noticed about the 'good' path through act 2 versus the more 'evil' one I took is that, the curse kinda never stops being a problem in the evil path, while the good path trivializes it so early. Once you get a hold of a Moon lantern (which you can do early if you turn on Kar'niss and then on the harpers), you can just release Dolly Dolly Dolly and be safe from basically all of the curse. If you maintain your cover as a cultist, Kar'niss disappears until the end of the arc, at which the moon lantern he drops has a dead Dolly in it, so no permanent buff (not that it would matter at that point). And the moon lantern you can pick up in Balthazar's room doesn't have a pixie to release.

I dunno, you can already lift the curse in the good playthrough, seems like an odd choice to make it more trivial in that one than the other path. Still, having to manage our moon lantern use throughout the whole area, kinda made exploring it feel more significant, and knowing when it was safe or not to put away the lantern made it at least a little more interesting to explore certain areas, whereas players on the good path probably don't even know there are individual buildings with a deeper curse that even the Selunite blessing doesn't protect, necessitating still using the lantern.

So despite not having Halsin's whole quest with Art, Thaniel and Oliver, I still KINDA prefer the way it played out for me. Might change my mind in the future if I actually do that quest line, Thaniel and Oliver are interesting enough characters to make that worthwhile from what I've seen.

Act 3

At this point I've been playing for 3 months and I finally make it to act 3. The mission here being "get Minthara's approval as high as possible without breaking your oath". In short:

Crushed it. And no oath broken.

But before that, we had to deal with the little problem of Orin's kidnapping victim being Minthara. For SOME reason, Minthara is the only companion who can be abducted even if she's currently being romanced (she just has to not be in the party at the time it happens).

Which is devastating, but also REALLY good story telling, cause you just told her not like an hour ago that you'd keep her safe from Orin.

So my first task upon entering the Lower City was "find Orin and rescue Minthara". I stepped right over that agreement to go after Gortash first, and instead tracked down a few of the Bhaalist murders, which led me to the Tribunal, standing before Sarevok to be accepted as an Unholy Assassin, not REALLY knowing what I was doing at this point, and then I'm asked to kill Valeria (who was a jerk during the investigation, but not nearly that bad) and, feeling myself up against the wall, say FUCK IT WE BALL and refused to kill her.

And Somehow. I managed to beat Sarevok, despite being surrounded by cultists buffing him up. My team was Shadowheart, Lae'zel and Gale, and lemme tell you that's POTENT (this was before I got the Markoheshkir for Gale but, turns out a level 11 Wizard is REALLY STRONG so it doesn't matter)

The way the journal updated made me worried that if I took a long rest, Minthara would be killed, so. I went looking for the Temple of Bhaal, getting lost in the sewers until I finally found it, and went to face Orin WITHOUT LONG RESTING AFTER SAREVOK.

I wasn't even at max level, or had much of the good equipment in act 3. Unstoppable is a Bitch of a mechanic, and silly me didn't prepare Magic Missle on Gale (which would have trivialized it). So I had Alice, Lae'zel, and Minthara chip-chip-chipping away at 7 stacks of Unstoppable, only occasionally getting a hit through, all while Gale provided support by burning just SO MANY high level scrolls (he ran out of slots at some point), and I forget what I was doing with Shadowheart. I still don't think I understood the mechanic, but I did get an achievement for killing Orin while the cultists were still performing their ritual, so I guess I brute-forced it like some have done with Grimm.

So, after Orin the rest of Act 3 was a breeze by comparison. Except the House of Hope, that was ALSO a bitch of a fight, and unlike Orin I had to reload after a party wipe. Just once though, I beat Raphael with just Minthara up, taking out his last 10 hp with a Psionic Backlash just as he was about to roast her with Incinerate again.

Other than those, the actual rest of Act 3 was... well, I mean it was fine. I did just about everything, found and recruited Minsc, was confused that the Emperor tries to talk you OUT of recruiting him for being too unpredictable, yet he never once raises an objection to bringing on Minthara. I dunno it made sense with my playthrough cause she basically never spent time as an enemy, but it's still WEIRD and not really a choice worth doing differently. Which will become a bit of a theme with Act 3.

As I said at the start, Act 3 took me longer than any other, but I did take my sweet time there. The sheer number of npcs that you can talk to is still incredible, I fell into some quests like the Mouth Gazette accidentally, and completing those was involved but didn't take too long.

Once I had taken out Gortash, we were basically ready to go straight to the end game. The path to it being through the Temple of Bhaal driving home the point even more that I was meant to tackle Orin last, but no WAY was my wife going to miss out on the entire Act 3.

My last big exciting moment for the playthrough was when Minthara spoke up out of nowhere while heading into the temple

That's right, I got the Alurlssrin line here, since Minthara wasn't around for it the first time I went to fight Orin. But, since the game doesn't check to see if Orin was still alive (or it did but it bugged?) I still got it anyway!

She still says we have to go kill Orin, but who cares! This was literally one of my major goals in the game, my Get Kim to Wear The Jacket of Baldur's Gate 3 (whereas that achievement was basically the best thing I did in Disco Elysium). So happy to get it my first playthrough.

High Hall

As for the end of the game, while I can see how it would be harder on higher difficulties, I still think I'd have a much harder time with earlier fights. I didn't play this optimally at all, not using elixirs nor summoning many of my allies. I kinda was worried about "using them too early" but I think you're meant to use them or they go to waste.

Now I had a lot of allies. Red dragon air support, Harpers, Guild assassins, Elite Fist unit, VOLO, and even Yurgir! I only summoned the Harpers and Yurgir, and they were fine, but I think Volo is actually the strongest ally. His "Volo's Guide to Monsters" condition that gives +2 to attacks, saves and checks, that's insanely good!

Meanwhile I was noticably missing some allies. Where were Isobel and Aylin? Where were the Gondians and the Steel Watch they're supposed to give me? Especially with the abrupt way Isobel and Aylin exited the game after Lorroakan (another choice that wasn't a real choice cause why the FUCK would I betray Aylin at that point), it was a let down. As was siding with the Gondians when Wulbren gave me zero reason to sympathize with me (it felt like a Lorroakan again, you need a reason to hate this character to refuse them, so they try to do something you would absolutely not do given the choices you've already made)

At least I finally know why people hate Wulbren, but MAN does that not feel earned.

My Final Party

Since I was locked into my party from boarding the boat to the credits, I might as well talk about who I took, and what build I used for them.

Alice (6 Paladin / 6 Sorcerer)

Pretty standard Sorcadin for my Tav, I had her wielding the Jorgal's Greatsword, eventually swapping to the Sword of Chaos (never got Balduran Giantslayer. No Wyll so I don't know what an Ansur is lol). I used mods for BOTH subclasses, Oath of Glory and Shadow Sorcerer respectively. I'm gonna be honest, Sorcadin wasn't as impressive as I was hoping it would be. First, Glory Oath has its charms (the mod user tweaked a lot as this oath is meant for grappling builds in tabletop), but the spell list was meh. Guiding Bolt didn't prove to be as useful as I hoped, and Oath of Devotion's tenets for oathbreaking works fine I guess, but doesn't quite match up perfectly.

Like I interpret it as Alice trying to become the kind of legend told in stories about truly heroic figures, hence the oath tenets making me stick with a knight in shining armor type for most choices. Still it means I could make all the best choices for my companions, so they can be the best they can be, and that's perfectly fitting for the Oath of Glory.

What made this REALLY take off was the level 6 abilities for Shadow Sorcerer, at least the version the mod maker made for Baldur's Gate. At level 6 you get Hound of Ill Omen, essentially a familiar that can perform an attack that can knock enemies prone, but you have to designate the target, which you can swap freely once each turn. You ALSO get Shadow Step, which is BONKERS in BG3 for mobility, as there's almost always some minor obscurement. She zipped around everywhere, concentrated on Haste and SMITE SMOTE all into oblivion.

Minthara (9 Paladin / 3 Rogue)

Of course I had to keep Minthara a Vengeance Paladin, it's so much of who she is. I gave her 3 levels of Thief Rogue for the extra bonus action, and the Dual Wielder feat so she could wield the Handmaiden's Mace in the offhand (letting her dump Strength) and the Devotee's Mace in main. The Alert feat basically meant she always went first, and could set up with Soul Brands or an early burst and just delete ANYTHING in one go, all while concentrating on Haste for just infinity attacks.

This build doesn't have TWF but honestly, I didn't miss it. The Handmaiden's main use is the stat boost, and it can poison, so once the target is poisoned I don't necessarily need to make attacks with it and just use all the Soul Branding I want. Or do bonus action dashes to move anywhere. And since in the end I made her partial illithid, she was BY FAR my most mobile party member, even more than Alice. Levitate + Thief Rogue's bonus actions means you can get absolutely ANYWHERE if you want.

And call me a simp but I love it when she growls "I am your death" or "No survivors" and then actually kills every mother fucker she clicks on. With Vow of Enmity up, plus The Dead Shot for lower crit rate, she critted quite a lot, especially when I gave her an elixir of viciousness (appropriate). It takes a lot to out damage a Sorcadin, but she managed.

Lae'zel (12 Fighter)

You know what's almost as good as a Sorcadin or crit-fishing Paladin, damage-wise? A Gith with 12 straight levels of Battlemaster Fighter, and the Silver Sword of the Astral Plane. She managed to out damage Minthara on the Red Dragon in the final battle, Precision Attacking with GWM to get SO MUCH damage in, the dragon was dead in like 3 turns.

Shadowheart (2 Paladin / 10 Cleric)

This was a bit of a weird one, and I would definitely do something different next time. The idea for this was, Paladin for smites and Ancients healing radiance, Light Cleric for spellcaster damage and using Sentinel to act as pseudo-tank. Selûne's Spear and Viconia's Walking Fortress with Reaper's Embrace for the highest AC in the group. Honestly this worked better than it looks on paper, mostly cause with the Amulet of Greater Health she had the most hp, and almost never lost concentration. Enemies still tried to attack her despite being more tanky, and I've had her soak up so much damage.

Next time I'm definitely going to resist the temptation to make Selûne Shadowheart a Light cleric (it's not even one of Selûne's domains) and I have some ideas for that with actual synergy with things like radiating orb, so hopefully next game she'll be more effective.

A New World for Ourselves

So we did it. Orpheus subjugated the crown, the Absolute is at our mercy. All that's left is to make that final decision. Do I destroy the brain, ridding us of the tadpoles and the threat of the Netherbrain forever, or do I betray everyone so that Minthara and I can become the Absolute.

Nothing could be more glorious! Of course I was going to pick this one!

Or do I? I mean, I could, and I did to find out what happens. But is it an ending? Maybe in the future when they make that update to the 'evil endings' that they mentioned recently, there'll be more to it. For now, it basically results in you deleting every other companion (except I believe if Minthara or Astrarion are your partner) and taking control of the Netherbrain to carry out your will with no one to stop you.

It ALSO is one of the extremely rare times that Tav/Durge gets a spoken line in a cutscene, and hearing Lynsey Murrell (voice of Tav 8) say "In my name" will sustain me for weeks. Minthara saying "In your name" so much REALLY went to her head huh.

C'mon everyone who follows me saw it coming, why do you think I made my blog name literally "In My Name"? I am cringe but I am free.

But, as of right now, this ending amounts to little more than an alternative game over, until they add an epilogue for it. There isn't even a stinger scene at the end of the credits. Oh well, I'm sure the actors will have a blast performing mind-controlled companions, when that finally comes out.

The Real Epilogue

So we did it. We ordered the brain to destroy all tadpoles (and taking away Minthara's veins and black eyes, which, they were cool, but I like her without them more) and then kill itself. Despite us being on it when it blows up, but after the gang climbs out of the river and onto the dock, we have our final moments before we go our separate ways.

btw this lady, who goes to town on a Mind Flayer to protect the tiefling kid? She's so badass and I think I love her. God I'm so weak to fearless women kicking the crap out of things, and this game just doesn't stop delivering on that front.

Minthara is taking the brain's destruction incredibly well, probably due to being rid of the tadpole at last.

I honored Orpheus' wishes and put him down so he can be a martyr for his people. Lae'zel departed to return to the Astral Plane for the war against Vlaakith, and poor Astarion had to run off cause the sun started burning him. As for Gale, I thought I had messed up his quest by not bringing him to the last battle, but he did in fact get a choice to retrieve the crown for himself or Mystra, or to leave it. I told him he should leave it. Still spiteful to Mystra, sorry not sorry, but at least he didn't make another mistake.

As we headed into the Epilogue, Minthara and I have been spending the six months weaving schemes and intrigue to take control of the city from the shadows. Probably the least evil option for Minthara's epilogue, but honestly it fits, Alice has achieved her legend status and Minthara has a genuine happy ending, not having to worry about all out warfare with her family (yet).

The Epilogue Party was as adorable as I had hoped it'd be. It was great to catch up with everyone, and it made me happy I used my oc from ffxiv, cause this is very much in line with the sort of "You fixed everything and everyone is praising you" ending the Warrior of Light gets in basically every expansion.

So after finishing the game, I have my thoughts. First off, I had such a great time, and fully intend to start another run (more on that later). I wouldn't say it's perfect; the epilogue does a good job to pad out the ending, but the base game ending after finishing the last battle is definitely pretty abrupt. But it's alleviated so much by seeing these characters I've spent so much time with, seen them struggle and grow, now finally getting closure. That still makes it worth it.

I am ashamed to admit I had to reload on the final battle after an impromptu party wipe. You'd think as a FFXIV savage raider I would be able to recognize "don't stand in the bad" mechanics and execute them perfectly since this is turn based. And not only did Shadowheart get hit by one of those nautiloid attacks, the final boss took us out because I didn't realize it'd blow up the platforms they were on. Still, as a savage raider maybe it makes perfect sense I'd have trouble not standing in bad.

There's one other thing I wanted to mention, something that a lot of people are concerned about when they play this game and I'm so happy I can say, after completing this run, that the Grove does not matter.

The Grove doesn't matter (just do it)

That's not even hyperbole, the grove literally doesn't matter. Notice I how I didn't have to mention it past act 2? That's because it matters basically only for act 2, while act 3 might as well exist on its own. Now I guess that makes sense if no npcs from the grove actually survive, since there's no one there to talk about them.

But like. Volo is right there. I saved him from cultists in act 3, and he shows up for the final battle and the epilogue, and he makes a big talk about telling my story, conveniently forgetting that whole part where I committed genocide for, as he himself noted at the time, no discernible reason.

Like I know I joke that you can raid the grove and still play the game as a 'good' character, and that's still true and I think it should at least be possible, but like. At least a mention?

I will tell you who I heard from that I was absolutely NOT expecting though:

I'm sorry, fucking who??

What?

So what seems to be going on here, is that because I never talked to Halsin after initiating "Raid the grove" in act 1, meaning he never left the goblin camp, the game never registered him as "dead" (even though you can tell Art that), but instead is treating him as "alive, and the shadowlands are still cursed"

Weird. I don't remember if I actually went back to the goblin camp and checked the worg pens to see if his body was there. But since Minthara showed up at Moonrise with his journal in her inventory, I just assumed she killed him before leaving to Moonrise.

It honestly would have been absolutely hilarious if I had gotten a "you may have saved the Sword Coast but I will never forgive you for what you did to the grove. May we never meet again" or something like that. But hey this is a party, we gotta stay upbeat!

Anyway the moral of the story is, if you haven't killed the grove yet, you should definitely kill the grove. Maybe not the one Larian intended, but it works for me.

What's Next?

I'm going to be taking a break from bg3 for a bit. There's a limited time event going on in ffxiv, and I still need to replay and finish Hi-Fi Rush (my other game of the year of 2023). After all of that, I have a few ideas for my next run, in order of preference:

Chosen of Eilistraee - Drow Bard/Rogue/Cleric (Shadowheart Romance)

I really wanna go back in and do another in-depth run as a more traditional 'chaotic good tav' like a lot of people did their first time, but with the luxury of being able to recruit every companion this time. I also really want to play through the game as a Bard, and play a more religion-focused character.

So a Drow Bard with the Cleric of Eilistraee dialogue options, and who will have a whole story involving obtaining Phalar Aluve (Eilistraee's weapon) AND Larethian's Wrath (Corellon's weapon) and dual wield them. Since Alice will no longer be my main tav after this (more below), I'll be giving this character the Guild Artisan (tav's canon background as far as I'm concerned) and she'll be my go-to heroic tav.

DU Minthara - Paladin/Sorcerer (Karlach OR Lae'zel Romance)

There's this brilliant mod that lets you play as any of the companions, Origin and non-Origin, using either Tav's or Dark Urge's dialogue. And listen. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense that Dark Urge is the perfect way to play Minthara AS an origin character.

I could romance either Karlach or Lae'zel (both incredible rarepairs, though Minthara/Karlach is less rare nowadays), but if I go with Karlach I'll HAVE to save the grove, because I don't want to risk her romance breaking if Dammon is dead. Plus fixing her engine means act 2 and 3 Karlach sex scenes with Minthara 😳 oooooh yes! Don't know if I'll be resist or embrace, but would aim for the Avernus ending. And of course with Lae'zel any way is fair game, meaning that grove is getting raided again boys!

And yes it is another Paladin/Sorcerer multiclass, don't judge me I'm going for a different level split this time and not using modded subclasses, and Storm Sorcerer is very Durge-appropriate.

Karlach Origin (Minthara Romance)

Same deal, but reverse. This will be my one concession to romancing Minthara on a 'good' playthrough. Normally I'm personally opposed to that; recruit her sure, but she needs someone willing to kill for her. That all changes with Karlach / Minthara, the tiefling has permission to concuss her and later kiss her, because she absolutely would, plus won't be around long enough to help Minthara with any of her plans anyway, so their future is either going to be brief or in Avernus (aiming for the latter as usual)

Can you tell I REALLY like this ship?

DU Alice - Paladin/Warlock (Minthara Romance)

I intend to replay Alice someday (need to let her story rest for a bit before I come back to it) this time using Dark Urge to fill in those needling holes in her background. Like just adding Durge makes everything about her character better imo. I'd play her as Oathbreaker from the start. Waking up with holes in her brain and a hole in her soul where her oath used to be, replaced by whispers of death. What even was her oath, and if she can restore it, should she? Basically a replay of my first run but with added DU angst, and a connection to Orin and Gortash that accidentally mirror her relation to Zenos and Emet-Selch in ffxiv. Neat.

Shadowheart Origin (Astarion Romance)

This one is wild, considering I don't really like Astarion (he does nothing for me, though his story and Neil Newbon's performance are both excellent). However I saw a certain Shadowstarion fanart and thought, what if they just made each other worse until we have Ascended Astarion reeking havoc for eternity alongside Dark Justiciar Vampire Shadowheart. That's all I got.

So if you read all the way to this end, thank you! I hope you enjoyed my ramblings. If you want, drop your thoughts in comments or ask, I'd love to hear them!

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an-abyss-of-stars · 8 months

Text

He saw her at daybreak - Part 7

Summary: The babe is growing steadily, and with merely three moons left in her pregnancy Rhaena begins to feel the calling of a dragon…

Warnings: None for this chapter!

Tag list: @minim236 , @bohemian-nights , @neocil , @nettysnest , @avidreader73 , @jordanjanellejoyy , @azaleapotterblack , @yourlittlehoe , @partypoison00 , (feel free to tell me if you want to be on the taglist or not)

P.S: AGGHHHH BLEH BLEH I'M BACKK!!

PLEASE, if you haven't been following my spotty updates on Tumblr, I basically wrote this entire chapter about month or more ago…and it totaled out to about 30k words in length…and the I reread it and hated it! LMfAO, so, I've been going through it slowly trying to make it tolerable, and in that process I've realized that I don't mind this first half too much! I think it's pretty good, so I decided I'd cut the chapter in half and let y'all read this bit! For those of you still care about this weird smutty fic!

This half isn't smutty i'm afraid to say, but the next half will have the other 20k words in it…so that'll have the sex scene it! Either way, long time coming! Hopefully you all enjoy it!!!

☾

The rest of that evening had been calm and peaceful, mainly due to Rhaena stealing her husband away, to enjoy the serene nature of the grassy fields that faced Dragon mound.

Aemond had Maester Varion push his last two hearings over to the following day, giving him the free time to lay with her and Vhagar in the grassy fields as the sun slowly began to set on the horizon. Rhaena had always thought this spot, here on the peak, was one of the most perfect spots to witness a sunset here on Dragonstone. The saturated orange glow of the setting sun bathed the grass and anything on it in such an ethereal way, everything glowed like pure gold.

Truly the Golden Hour.

With a soft tranquil breeze that ruffled and flowed over against them. Rhaena had leaned herself back against the solid massive heat that was Vhagar's side, while Aemond had comfortably rested his head on her lap. His body laid out on the cool grass, casual and relaxed, as he crossed his arms.

For once, truly, Rhaena's mind was at ease, sitting here in their shared comfortable silence. With her fingers absentmindedly running through his hair, Aemond had closed his eyes, either just as peacefully soaking in their solitude or just as likely he might have found himself comfortable enough for a light nap.

Not unlike his bonded dragon, Vhagar, the legendary she-beast could be heard purring soundly, a massaging rumbly feeling that vibrated against Rhaena's back.

Just off in the distance, Rhaena could see the great King of the dragons, Vermithor, nestled closely with his beautiful mate, the iridescent Silverwing. Seeing them together like this often brought back old memories of Rhaena's childhood, when she'd run these fields with her siblings and their own dragons. Back when they could sit with Caraxes and Syrax, and kepa would tell them all wild and exciting tales from his youth, the many exiles he'd experienced for annoying and angering his grandmother or aptly, his elder brother. Of his battle in the Stepstones, a personal favourite for all of the kids then. Sometimes he'd tell them about muña Rhaenyra in her youth, tales that made her blush and swat him affectionately.

But most cherished of all, to Rhaena at least, were when he told them all of how he'd courted the girls' other mother, their birth mother, muña Laena.

It always sounded so fantastical and romantic, Rhaena had always loved to hear of it, even when her muña was still alive. But after her death, she supposed it meant all the more to know that her kepa hadn't forgotten her. That even though he'd found love again, he'd never let go of his previous love…he never let her name or her memory fade into oblivion.

And she loved him dearly for that.

It was also never lost on her, the incredibly soft, fond expression Rhaenyra had whenever he spoke of Laena. A clear expression of someone who also once loved her mother.

Though, of course, by now Rhaenyra had been more of a mother to Rhaena than her birth mother, Laena, had ever gotten to be. This coming year, it would be eleven years since Laena died…eleven years since Rhaenyra had respectfully taken her spot in Rhaena and Baela's lives.

And just as well…this coming year…Rhaena would have a babe of her own.

Frightful business indeed…but exciting nonetheless.

Rhaena's little train of thought had swiftly eroded away as a new surge of energy started to spark within her. It started like a low hum…sizzling…sparking in the pit of her stomach, a faint tingle ringing throughout her body like full-bodied butterflies.

It was a feeling that sought attention…beckoning her over…and as her eyes searched around for the source.

Rhaena found herself gazing directly over at the glorious iridescent beauty, pink and white, light and regal…the Queenly she-dragon, Silverwing.

It wouldn't have caught her as off guard as it did…except, the dragon in question was gazing right back at her.

From across the vast field, their eyes met with fire-like intensity, something Rhaena had never felt before.

Surely this wasn't…

Not now…

After all these years…

The calling .

No.

It couldn't be.

Quickly she broke the line of sight, and tried to distract herself with conversation.

"Aemond," Rhaena breathed, still slightly startled, still in disbelief over what she assumed might be happening…but Silverwing would not move to her. If this was…what she thought it was…she'd have to make that move herself.

And for now…she wasn't sure she wanted to.

She wasn't sure she could…even if she did.

Eighteen years…her entire life she'd never wanted anything more. And now she was too scared to take it…claim it.

Maybe it wasn't fear .

Maybe she found herself existing in a false sense of acceptance.

Rhaena Targaryen…the only Targaryen in her current living family to not have a dragon.

This was a fact.

And it had been for years.

Was she really meant to change that now?

"Hmm," upon her lap, Aemond hummed faintly, whether he had in fact been resting or not, she couldn't be sure, but she had his attention now.

So she figured she'd use it, redirect her thoughts into something else, "the babe…do think we'll have a boy or girl? Or perhaps twins…they are quite common in our family…"

Her sentence trailed off into silence…try as she might, she could not focus.

That electrifying feeling ached and demanded attention.

Thankfully, she supposed, Aemond hadn't noticed the subtle change in her demeanor. Instead letting her casual question marinade as he turned his head towards her belly and pressed a soft kiss against her. His hand reaching up to caress the curve, "since they're coming from you, I wouldn't care what you birth."

"I could birth a deformed dragon creature," Rhaena had meant it as a slight jest, but the moment the words left her mouth, she realized there was a true possibility that she could. House Targaryen prided itself on pure Valyrian blood matches…and seeing how both of their fathers' were brothers and indeed incredibly pureblooded.

A true dragon-like babe was a real possibility.

Not a likely one…but a possibility nonetheless.

"I'd love them just the same," had been Aemond's calm response as he pulled himself up, sitting in front of her as he eyed her closely, "why do you ask?"

"Oh! No particular reason, just curiosity," she smiled sweetly, pulling her legs up and crossing them, "I just know, most men would prefer sons…is all."

Real authentic, nice work…

It wasn't at all, but it seemed to pass well enough. At the very least, the more she distracted herself with this pleasant conversation…the more time she'd be able to give herself to truly comprehend what was happening within her.

Softly, her mated dragon pulled her from her thoughts, she was drowning in them but thankfully he provided sanctuary. As he caressed her cheek, his indigo eye held her gaze quite intensely, it seemed as if he was trying to read between the lines. To view something upon her face that she hadn’t purposely realized she’d given in to, an expression, a twitch, a look…something to reveal more than what she had said.

And part of worried he might have seen what he was looking for…that he would be able to see right through her.

Her thoughts of callings and Silverwing …

Although, why she felt the need to keep these odd feelings to herself…she couldn't say.

But she didn't wish to attempt describing this discomfort when she wasn't entirely sure about it herself.

It had nothing to do with the symptoms she felt due to the babe and even then she’d barely been able to explain herself.

"You should be happy to know that I am not like most men," his voice was so low and smooth, silk-like in its delivery, while his gaze was so intense yet charming. His lips had begun to quirk upwards, something playful mixing in with his usual cunning smirk. As his hand slid from her cheek and down to her chin, his thumb affectionately stroked down over her lower lip to the shallow dimple on her chin. Such a simple gesture had managed to fluster her if only slightly, his tone had simpered down to a suggestive rasp, as he queried, "now, which were you hoping for, byka ābrazȳrys?" little wife?

Oh, how she loved when his voice did that.

Such a simple question, and yet, now he had her swallowing thickly and biting her lip.

"I couldn't possibly…" Rhaena spluttered, her voice all airy yet bereft, her eyes darting upwards towards the sky for just a moment, to calm her heated chest and mind. All the while his patience was unyielding…calm and planted like a purposeful current in a rushing river. When her eyes finally returned to him, she decided she might as well divulge a truth she’d once known, "hmm, well…a few moons ago. When I first heard that I was with child, rather instantly I imagined us having an adorable little boy. And it seems, ever since, I’ve only ever been dreaming of him in more vivid detail."

There a mixture of sweet fondness filtered through Aemond’s heated gaze, silently urging her on, clearly he was patiently waiting to hear more of her innocent dreams for their little growing family.

And so Rhaena thought she would indulge him with the details, letting her own hand reach for his cheek, as a naturally sweet smile grew on her own lips, "well, in my dreams, he always looks like a cute little version of you. And he has your eyes, deep and dark, that perfect indigo shade that so simply draws one in. He has your sharp cheekbones, but with really chubby cheeks. He also has your jaw, and maybe your eyebrows. Really floppy pale blonde curls, and maybe his skin is just a shade lighter than my own. But what I remember most, every time, is his adorable little laugh, it tugs at my heart even though I know I’ve only created it in my mind myself. But he smiles so much…all of the time. He’s such a happy little babe…and his smiles are so much like your own mischievous ones. He’s the most perfect little thing in my mind."

Rhaena had fallen into a slight daze, practically gushing over every little detail she’d imagined for their child. For even as she was only describing a dream…a fictionalized created image to her husband, one she’d seen a dozen times by now. It still felt oddly cementing to admit it all out loud, as if she was speaking this child into existence…truly cementing the idea that this little boy might be theirs…that he might be real. That her current little gremlin which she carried within her at this very moment, was possibly in fact the very same babe from her dreams.

Aemond for his part looked as if he had enjoyed her description, his face held an incredibly fond expression as he seemed to be putting her words to an image in his own mind. Especially grinning deviously once she’d gotten to the end of it all, “ mischievous smiles, are they," his free hand slipping around her waist, pulling her close to him, practically up onto his own lap, "wouldn’t you think it’s a dangerous thing to want our son to be the spitting image of me."

Her body instantly warmed, engulfed in the heat of his response with the added feel of being held in his larger more muscular arms. Rhaena might have planned on laughing, giggling brightly really, but his movements were faster. The nimble speed in which he tipped her chin up for his own easy access to her lips, just as fiercely as ever, he devoured her with a deeply passionate yet possessive kiss. She’d sighed instantly, melting against him wholly, as his heated tongue slipped through her parted lips. Delving into the molten heat of her own mouth and she did the same to his, her tongue roving over and syncing into a fire-like dance they’d played a million times over. And even so, her body always reacted the same, sparking live-electric currents through her blood. Like an itch only he could ever scratch for her, with just a kiss he held so much power over her.

Their rising tension seemed to connect with Aemond’s bonded mount, as Rhaena could hear Vhagar ruffling and rumbling behind her. Not that it stopped her husband, he only tugged her closer. Pressing her against him as much as he possibly could, desperate to feel the heat of their bodies entwined and bound together.

If he wasn’t careful, they’d end up writhing against one another in this field… once again .

For they’d done it several times before.

It was an active pull of force, to work against the current of energy her body was willing with his own, to deny the primal urge to feel his large member thrusted deep within her again so soon. But by the time Rhaena had found the resolve to want to pull herself back just enough to breathe, it felt as if she was pulling herself out of a heated trance. Her lips still desired to cling to his, latched on with near animalistic intent as her teeth still grazed at his lower lip, a possessive hold she barely wished to relinquish. And only caused him to groan quite provocatively, something deeply seeded from within him.

It took quite a lot of self control, to trail a heated path of kisses down along his jaw before she panted the words, "you cannot want me again so soon, three times in one day? I thought we were pacing ourselves?”

The incredible low and husky chuckle he’d given her had made her entire body flutter just at the sound alone, nevermind the dark wanting look in his eye, “you haven’t much cared for pacing ourselves during this last moon…if ever,”

This sort of talk was exactly why she was with child so soon after their wedding.

But as much as she wanted him at this very moment, her body urged rest and…more importantly, her little gremlin urged for more nourishment.

In just a moment, my little baby , she thought, glancing down at her swollen baby.

Deciding she still wished to finish their previous conversation, before their ever undercurrent of lust and love overruled them. Rhaena wrapped her arms more securely around his neck, leaning further onto him as she brushed her nose against him, leaning her forehead against his, feeling the innate sturdy warmth he always provided for her. Softly she gazed up into his eyes, practically puring when his indigo and sapphire eye gazed back into her own pale violet eyes, “you do realize that you still haven't answered my question, ñuha gevie zaldrīzes . What have you pictured for our child? What does my valzȳrys dream of, " my pretty dragon, husband .

There was a beat of sweet silence, as Aemond caressed her back, warm soft streaks drawing down her back as his nose nuzzled hers. As if he only craved to kiss her again, to drown in the senses of tasting her and holding her…forgetting the world around them.

Eventually his lips curved into a smile, one of those boyish grins that still made Rhaena's heart thump no matter how many times she saw it, "I already told you, I don't have a preference,”

“Well humour me then, my love,” she whined lighty, shifting herself around on his lap so that she’d be able to rest her cheek on his shoulder, “if you were to have a preference, what would it be? When you were most adamant about a fucking a child into me, did you not consider imagining what said child would come to be or even look like?”

Rhaena was wearing him down, or at least she hoped she was. Not that he needed much. She had her thumb softly caressing his neck as she held him there, pressing her plush lips against the scarred line he had on the other side of his neck. The one he had once earned during the tourney that was set right before their wedding, his final single combat match with Lord Cregan Stark. She still remembered how furious she’d been with him that day, how careless she’d thought him to be to remove his helmet during a match like that. Even now seeing the completely healed mark still evoked a strained emotion in her, one that always simmered into some sort of pride mixed with love, that her idiotic dragon had managed to win and live.

“Fine, for you, my little dragon," he sighed, drawn out dramatically as if he wasn't anything but excited to speak about their futures, about the child that would soon join their lives, "I suppose I've pictured a little baby girl. Daughters are far more precious, are they not?"

Her chest had burned almost instantly, primed to burst, for Rhaena hadn’t even dared to imagine her dragon carrying a little baby girl around the castle. But just the thought of it alone…he was indeed right, it would be a most precious sight. The idea of her stoic dark dragon Prince playing little games, sitting for little tea dates or escorting around the castle a tiny little Princess.

Rhaena couldn’t stop smiling over the thought, maybe she was equally hopeful for a daughter after all.

"Either way I wouldn’t mind, but if the babe is born a girl…then I'd hope she'd have the good fortune to take after you. I’ve envisioned a sweet little version of you," he'd kissed the edge of her jaw as he spoke, but Rhaena hadn't missed a word. Her heart, hammering at the idea of it all…that he could want for such a thing just as much as she did.

As she pulled herself up to properly gaze at him, his lips began to traverse the length of Rhaena's neck. His hand glided along the curving dip of her waist, and just as the flames of pleasure began to seep in once again…she found her eyes landing on Silverwing in the distance.

Once again.

Seemed she couldn’t escape it. That sparking feeling from deep within her, the one she'd spent the last half hour trying to suppress…it had awakened once again.

Even as she tried to focus in on her husband's affection…on the roaring sound in the distance, where from the corner of her eye, Rhaena could see a pure black dragon soaring out from the direction of the Dragon Mount volcano, most likely Cannibal.

But all would be for nought…her body longed to brave the scene.

She couldn't allow it now.

If she was wrong…she'd be putting more than just herself at risk. She'd be risking her babe as well. So instead she shook the thought from her mind, refocused on the dragon she had before her. Guiding his face back up to hers, brushing her lips over his, teasing the ferocity that laid beneath the surface.

Just as her stomach audibly growled, Rhaena grinned sweetly against his lips, with a soft contented sigh, "I am quite hungry now…"

"Then let's feed you," he stole one quick kiss, before he pulled her to her feet, walking her back to the castle.

☾

The next day, Rhaena had felt Silverwing's calling become even more potent…increasing throughout every hour of the day. It felt like a stiffening burn, charring and scorching, the more she tried to ignore it…the more it singed her from the inside.

As afternoon rolled around, Rhaena found herself perching her back against a cool wall of a corridor in the southern wing of the castle. Her chest felt as if it was constricting her…squeezing her lungs shut each time she tried to breathe deeply. It was in these moments, when the feeling was most intense…she could hear a roar in the distance, one she hadn't known all that well but was familiar enough with to distinguish it from the other dragons.

It was Silverwing.

She was calling to her…this was real…this was happening.

"My Princess, are you well?" Ser Garin questioned, clear concern etched on his face, he stepped forward to her but made sure not to touch her, "shall I alert Wardeness Aelaera, you may wish to retire for the day?"

A considerate offer, but no, Rhaena did not wish to retire…although she also did not wish to sit through petitions now either.

Soon enough the burning in her chest would subside, and in that moment of clarity, Rhaena simply shook her head and pulled herself off of the wall. Breathing deeply, collecting herself before she glanced up towards her knight, "I thank you, Ser Garin. But I am fine, I needn't retire…but just as well, I do not feel fit enough to endure through the rest of my duties today. Do inform Wardeness Aelaera she may sit through the farmers' disagreements on my behalf. Anything more, which requires my personal attention, may be moved to the morrow."

Ser Garin nodded swiftly, and left to relay the message.

Now left only with Ser Drako, Ser Miklaz and Ser Moredo, Rhaena turned towards them.

She had a few possible options now that she'd cleared the rest of her day. She could interrupt her husband once again, a very enticing option if only for the possibility that his presence might actually distract her. Or she could go for a calming stroll, summon her Ladies in waiting…or…do the frightening thing.

Do the one thing she'd wanted all her life… claim a dragon .

If that was what this was…if that was what Silverwing was truly calling her for.

She could just go to her…do the deed…but of course it was not that simple.

Rhaena supposed, she could simply ask Aemond…find out whether this feeling…was truly what a calling felt like. Or whether it was simply another symptom of her pregnancy…the latter of which he most likely wouldn't be able to say definitively.

Although if it was a pregnancy symptom, surely Maester Varion would have informed her of such during her check in with him earlier this morn. Not that she'd bothered to specifically bring up the recent way her body reacted around Silverwing, but if such a thing was ever present in Targaryen women when they were with child.

Surely he would have mentioned it.

Then again, she also wondered if it was an average occurrence for a Targaryen woman to claim a dragon when she was child as well.

The likelihood of either seemed slim to none, but she couldn't be sure.

Either way, Maester Varion had instead extensively checked over her physical progress. Laid up in bed in only a two-piece ensemble of undergarments so that she could expose her belly, allowing gel-like ointments to be poured and rubbed over it. There he examined the steady growing size of her belly, listened in for the babe's heartbeat and even confirmed that it was more than likely that she was simply growing one babe and not several.

No such luck with twins on their first attempt, but Rhaena found herself feeling slightly relieved when she'd heard it was not to be. One babe would already be a big new experience, two would have been just slightly frightening…just slightly.

At the very least, when she'd glanced over at her dragon Prince, he didn't seem phased by the news either.

He only cared that his wife and child were healthy and well.

And after their Maester checked off everything necessary for his examination, he assured both Aemond and Rhaena that she was currently in perfect health as was the babe. He even went as far as to inform them both that Rhaena's salt craving was nothing to be worried about, that women were known to crave all sorts of various things due to their babes…some a lot stranger than salt.

A fact, Rhaena was sure she already knew, but it did do well to be reassured by a Maester as well. For she knew her husband was more than likely just trying to calm her nerves the other day when he simply offered to give her whatever she wished for.

During her check in, her Maester had advised that so long as she made sure to stay more hydrated during her days, and kept the rest of her diet leaning more towards leafy greens and hardy vegetables as opposed to harder to digest heavy meats. She would be able to ensure the babe continued to grow healthy and well nourished. With a set of prescribed added vitamins and minerals, as well as mentioning the tonics she would have to start consuming once the next moon arrived.

All in all, it was assessed that Rhaena was indeed six moons along and that babe would arrive precisely in three moons, during the twelfth moon of the year.

Some time close to the Ice Winter festival or possibly even Qēlos Bantis … Star Night . A Yule-like holiday reserved for glittering parties, hymns and spiritual worship, gift giving and all. But most of all during the coldest moon of the year, it's reserved as a time for family, peace and love, blessings and good tidings.

How very wonderous it would be to give birth to a babe then, not that Rhaena much liked the cold, but it would surely make the time of year even more beautiful.

With sigh, Rhaena reorientated her thoughts.

She wasn't meant to be thinking of her babe now, even as her hand subconsciously already reached to rub soothing circles along her swollen belly as she thought. She needed to think of her situation. Of the fact that husband, her love, Aemond…he was a fiercely protective man. Especially now that she was carrying his child, if she went to him with her thoughts on attempting to claim a dragon…surely he wouldn't want her risking her life for such a thing.

It'd be her own life as well as their babe's life at risk all on the possibility that this may be a calling .

No .

The danger was beyond herself…she'd need to be certain.

This could not be a simple guess or a hunch, she needed to be truly certain.

What she needed was…an outside opinion.

Someone she trusted and loved, who'd know just as well what it felt like to claim a dragon.

Now all of her siblings were of no use in this case, as all of them had been given the fortune of having their dragon eggs hatch in their cradle with them as babes.

Her muña, Rhaenyra, had been blessed with just the same fate.

No, her choices were limited. In fact she had only one true viable option in mind…she'd write to her kepa.

The only other member of her family who had to claim a dragon, the only other man in her life that trusted and loved her so fiercely that he'd do just about anything for. Her father may be her very opposite in many things, but this was one thing he'd be most qualified in aiding her with, and she knew he'd be glad to.

Or at least she hoped he would be .

If she could receive a response from him soon enough, then she'd be able to make an intelligent decision.

Taking a deep sobering breath, Rhaena began to plot out her next set of moves. Starting with her with guards, she needed some space from them. She could do with some peace and seclusion for the next few hours.

"Ser Drako, I think I shall return to my chambers. I wish to send a raven. Nothing of note, just a letter to my father, the King," Rhaena spoke slowly, crisp and clear, she left no room for discussion before she turned, taking paced steps down the hall, "and Ser Moredo, do summon my Ladies to my chambers. After I'm finished with my task, I'd like to visit the bathhouse. The private hold's bathhouse."

"Of course, Princess," Ser Drako had grinned as he bowed, she could hear the joviality in his tone.

While Ser Moredo simply affirmed, "as you command, your grace."

Certainly a far more stoic young man than her two favoured knights.

Once Rhaena had returned to her rooms, she sped over to her seat by her vanity table, finally within the privacy of her bed chambers. With the remainder of her guards waiting outside in the hall, Ser Moredo only left to summon her Ladies a few minutes prior.

It was in that time, between her Ladies arriving to greet her here at her chambers, that Rhaena aimed to complete her letter to her father and have Ser Drako send it.

It was most definitely feasible, and Rhaena only assured herself of that as she shifted on her rosy toned cushioned chair, hoping to find at least one angle comfortable enough to perch herself.

It seemed her babe insisted on shifting uncomfortably within her today.

But she'd remained focused, already envisioning the words she'd put down on the page once she was ready. Pulling a clean sheet of parchment from her drawer, she began dipping her quill into some fresh ink:

To his Highness, King Daemon Targaryen,

Kepa,

I write to you with news, at least I believe it to be so. Over the past day or two, I have begun to feel something. Something seems to be drawing me towards Silverwing, I can feel her calling to me. Like stoked flames rising in my chest that burn all throughout me. It feels all-consuming, but I cannot seem to bring myself to her.

What if I am wrong?

And she does not in fact wish to bond with me?

Could I not be putting myself and my unborn child in unnecessary danger by risking such an encounter that may not be what I think it to be?

I sound a coward, I know I do. You've taught me better than this surely, as a true Targaryen, I should go to her. Take my chances, and should I perish, it would be a true dragon rider's death.

Even saying so evokes dark memories of my muña.

I'm not frightened of dying per se, not entirely. I'm more frightened of being wrong. And so I suppose, I'm writing to you in hopes that you might tell me that I am right. That is this is without a doubt the feeling I've been waiting for. And that if it is, I will not stall on it any longer. I will face my fate and I will go to Silverwing.

Until then, I shall wait…I am a patient one, that you know.

In all, I hope you are well, my dear kepa. I do miss you all, muña Rhaenyra as well, I know you both have suffered at the loss of little Visenya. We all have.

My heart also calls for all of my brothers and Baela of course. It's ridiculous I'm sure, but I hope my little brothers Aeggie and Vis have not forgotten me. I receive letters from Joff with their little questions from time to time, and it is most heart warming.

I have, as you've requested, been careful not to overly exert or stress myself. As you and my husband clearly are of the same mind, if it was up to him, I'd have no duties to attend to at all. I'd simply be sentenced to bed rest for my safety for all days until the babe was born.

In all, I hope my missive finds you well, kepa.

With all my love,

Your beloved daughter,

Princess Rhaena Targaryen, Princess of Dragonstone

When she was done, she waited a few minutes for the ink to dry. Skimming over her words once more before she rolled the parchment, sealed it closed with a red and black swirled wax, pressing down Dragonstone's own Targaryen three-headed dragon seal stamp.

She hadn't mentioned why she hadn't spoken to Aemond about all of this in her letter, but she hoped her father would have the sense not to mention it either.

Feeling she'd said all she possibly could, covered all of her bases. Rhaena slowly pulled herself up from her seat and waddled back through her rooms. Stepping back through her chambers, opening the door, and finally, handing her letter off to Ser Drako for it to be sent.

As he left, Rhaena's Ladiesmaids entered to prepare her for the bathhouse.

Perfect timing.

Preparing for the bathhouse meant removing her ornate pink blush-toned jeweled gown, as well as undoing her elegantly done fishtail plait that had trailed down her back. Slipping off her jewels, her earrings, bangles, rings and bracelets, as well as her prized sapphire necklace.

The last of which Rhaena supposed she could take with her, but at the risk of her sapphire, possibly, to her horror, slipping into the waters of the bathhouse. Sinking away from her, lost to her forever.

No, she could not risk such a thing.

Even though…knowing her husband, he'd never let her shed a tear over the lost item, he'd instead, most likely in secret, find a way to either retrieve it or replace it.

Though that wasn't an outcome she wished to invoke, as Rhaena was just as much attached to the item as she was with the memory of how she'd received it. To have spent her life receiving gifts and jewels from so many suitors and expectant eligible Lords. All meaningless frivolous glittering gifts, all meant to show the wealth they and their house was capable of.

Gifted like a trap meant to lure in a Princess …but not a dragon .

And to think this one simple yet elegant necklace had been the one gift that meant the world to her now.

Given to her by a man she never thought she'd have such intense feelings for…yet.

How the Gods worked in the most mysterious of ways.

Rhaena would always cherish the memory. How during the moon of their engagement, Aemond had made no fuss or spectacle on the day when he gave the necklace to her. He'd spent three whole days away from the castle, only to return and sneak into her chambers late at night. She'd been awake, reading as per usual. But the look in his eye told her that he had something for her, he hadn't said what, he only asked that she close her eyes and lift her hair to give him access to her bare neck.

She could still remember how she'd felt as the cool smooth steel graced her skin for the first time, how her mind could only focus on the warmth of Aemond's fingers. The way they'd grazed against her collarbone and slid along her shoulders, making her shiver with arousal, gooseflesh prevalent and prickling. All while still simultaneously offering her an odd yet all consuming sense of comfort with just his touch alone.

To think so soon in their newly made romantic relationship, he'd managed to have such a power…such a thing that came to easily.

Allowing her to naturally ease back against him, his sturdy heated chest, like a gravitational pull, she could do little else but meld against him.

By the time he'd bade Rhaena to open her eyes, she found that she could barely speak. In her mind, she had ideas of what sort of necklace this may be. What jewels may have been used, what cut of the gem, design of the steel or gold or silver.

But she'd been wrong.

The choice to use Valyrian steel should have crossed her mind, at the time she was preparing to marry a man who was most proud of his pure Valyrian blood. It was not uncommon for Targaryen men to court their Ladies with jewelry made of Valyrian steel, just as her kepa had done with her own muña, just as he'd done with current muña, Rhaenyra.

It was an apparent trend for most Targaryens, going all the way back to even some of their earliest ancestors.

And yet, it hadn't crossed Rhaena's mind that she might have such an opportunity. An opportunity that was now simply her reality. To be gifted a piece of her dragon, part of the very Sapphire he wore in his left eye, used to complete this necklace. Made to be an offering that would allow her to carry a part of him wherever she went…whether he could be with her physically or not.

It was her one precious item…her only jewel which she treated like no other. She’d never risk damaging it or losing it.

So she removed it, everything really, including her undergarments was stripped from her. With her silver curls undone, let loose, flowing down her back and slipping over her shoulders. Once she was ready, she simply donned a thick silky robe and soft cozy slippers.

Soaks in the bathhouse were meant to be calming affairs. So Rhaena dismissed her maids afterwards as she waited for her Ladies-in-waiting to enter the Dragon's Nest. It wasn't customary for anyone unauthorized to enter this area of the castle, it was always securely guarded as the one safe haven for any members of the royal family.

Rhaena even giving permission for her Ladies to enter beyond this point was a blessing in itself.

As it was, Dragonstone held two bathhouses. One that was welcome to all courtiers and noble visitors alike, located in the northern wing of the castle. It was on the main level of the castle. Warmed by the volcano's heat well beneath the building’s structure, but as it was built on the main floor, the water’s temperature remained more of a Lukewarm temperature than a true quality Targaryen heated spring bath.

Which, Rhaena supposed, made perfect sense.

For that bathhouse was not meant for the royal family…it wasn’t meant to appease true dragons.

No, there was another bathhouse. On the main floor, down in the southern wing of the castle, one corridor led to the securely blocked off and guarded Dragon's Nest. Passing through that corridor, which led to several rooms, chambers and solars that were reserved for the royal family alone. There, there was a hidden door at the end of the corridor, smoothed in with the slick granite walls, missed by all who did not already know of its existence...for behind that door there were special specific steps. Steps that led down a level to the private Targaryen bathhouse, known as The Springs Of Caraxes . A true hot spring, one that allowed the heat of the volcanic magma from the Dragon Mount, deep below the castle, used directly to warm the waters of the bathhouse.

It was a far lovelier room as far as Rhaena was concerned.

It was a bit of a walk, through a hidden corridor or two, but once inside it was the brightest, most beautiful of places. The size of a large grand hall, the halls were once again made of smooth white marble. With pillars and archways that held smoothly carved statues of the Fourteen Flames in their most grand humanoid forms. The ceiling arched and curved with a cascaded glass ceiling that allowed in glowing sweet daylight. This ceiling did not face the grounds' of Dragonstone though, it seemed to be crafted upon the cliff's edge.

For it only ever faced the sky.

Along the edges of the crisp blue bath water, along the borders, were small steaming water fountains that helped to steam the air. Rhaena had also, of course, decorated the borders with more potted plants. Pale blue Hydrangeas and pale violet Wisterias mixed in with pink Roses and Dragon Spittles, a thorny green plant Rhaena found, looked quite eye-catching in floral arrangements.

Yes, this bathhouse was where she felt the most at peace.

Eventually her Ladies would be given passage to her chambers, and once they had, with Rhaena's two remaining guards in tow. She guided her Ladies to the hidden bathhouse.

It was a bright sunny day, so the bathhouse was illuminated beautifully. The afternoon sun reflected so brightly against the water and the white marbled room.

The guards would remain outside the doors of the bathhouse, while Rhaena and her Ladies would unsheathe themselves from their robes and enter the steaming water of the bath bare.

Of course, Rhaena's own tolerance for the water's temperature was higher than the others. Lady Kyra couldn't take the heat in particular, so she usually sat in one of the cushioned chairs along the side with a book in hand.

Lady Ellyn's tolerance was much better; she'd always stay in the water the longest alongside Rhaena, while Lady Lelia and Lady Victaria would periodically remove themselves from the steaming hot water.

Rhaena had taken to floating on her back, looking up and out at the sunny blue sky. Bright and exfoliating. Lady Ellyn stayed seated on the steps that entered the water, letting her legs soak while she laid back. As Lady Lelia had chosen to lay out on a pale pink chaise lounge, opting to let her skin take in some sun, as she claimed she felt 'too pale'.

A sentiment Rhaena and the rest of the girls found to be a bit comical, as women from her region were meant to be celebrated for having pale skin.

"Princess, I've been meaning to ask. But how have you been, pregnancy wise…each passing day is a day closer to your due date," Lelia Lannister asked, her voice floated in, echoing in slightly with the crisp acoustics of the room, "I know I was quite frightened when my late husband had placed a child within me. Though I suppose I never did get this far along, to know any true symptoms beyond nausea."

It was true, Lady Lelia had lost her child early on…early enough that she'd never been too distraught over the loss. Not as distraught as her late husband had been.

"I'm fine, I suppose," Rhaena sighed, her discomforts with her pregnancy came and went like the wind sometimes…and sometimes they stuck to her like glue and bogged her down for hours if not days. But that wasn't a feeling she felt she could convey all too easily with just words.

"Truthfully you're handling it quite gracefully," Victaria smiled, slipping back into the water as she'd been sitting on the edge, "I've seen some of my brother's salt wives, and I recall some of them being incredibly irritable."

"Oh I've been irritable," Rhaena laughed, "you've only missed the worst of it. I broke down crying to Aemond over salt just yesterday. Apparently the babe only craves the oddest of flavours."

"Really!" Kyra giggled, "what is it with babes in the womb always making their mother's consume the oddest of foods. My cousin, who lives in the North, she once wrote to me upset that her babe only craved sweet cream and mint leaves. She'd lamented having eaten a whole tin of only mint leaves!"

At that, all of the girls giggled.

And Rhaena's chest felt lighter…warmer.

"I suppose I can relate, this morn, I'm sure I poured a bowl's worth of salt into my porridge and then drizzled it all with honey," Rhaena sighed with a smile, "I have no idea what sort of creature I'm feeding, but surely this is no regular babe."

Lelia turned herself over so she could look at Rhaena when she spoke, "Princess, if anything is certain, you shall give birth to a most beautiful child."

"Such flattery shall get you nowhere," Rhaena grinned, but her cheeks had warmed at the compliment nonetheless.

Lelie was unfazed, only shrugging, "come now, everyone knows house Targaryen only births beauties. You're already one of the most beautiful women of all the realm, and you've gone and married quite possibly the most handsome member of your family. There is no doubt you shall birth a lovely babe."

"Absolutely, a babe that only loves for salty foods!" Victaria giggled, and Rhaena joined her, splashing a wave of water over her. It was so close to Kyra that she shrieked.

In the aftermath, Rhaena only sighed a soft smile, relishing in the comfort of having such kind ladies in her company.

"But Princess, you shall tell us if things become too much, yes," Lady Ellyn who'd remained quiet thus far had spoken so elegantly, stoically nearly, "the pressure of pregnancy is not one any woman should be bogged down with. Especially not as you enter your later moons. And I could understand the fear a Targaryen woman may feel as she enters motherhood…"

At a glance, Rhaena caught her smokey grey eyes, and nodded softly, "I'm not sure anyone but another Targaryen woman may truly understand this fear…but nonetheless, I thank you. All of you. You four are my trusted confidants."

She didn't wait for their responses, instead Rhaena dipped herself below the water's surface and swam to the further edge of the pool.

In the silence of the water, one thing was certain…soon enough she'd have to face the things that frightened her.

For one could only run so long.

☾

It was getting worse, at night Rhaena would only dream of Silverwing. As if she could see her great-grandmother in her youth, gloriously riding atop the beautiful glistening dragon. A true Targaryen Queen of old riding a mount that was most fitting for a Queen.

Surely, Rhaena thought, she herself was no such Queen .

Formidable and ethereal.

Did Silverwing truly wish to be claimed once again?

By Rhaena Targaryen no less?

It was a thought that plagued her, rounding its way through her mind, her body, her soul.

If it was to be…it'd be all she ever wanted. She'd finally feel right…true…worthy of her name. Worthy to be the namesake she was, to be named after the great Queen Rhaena …rather than to live her life of eighteen years with no dragon.

Surely her ancestors must have been disappointed…even if her parents and family claimed not to be.

Even if her husband claimed not to be.

Aemond would always say it didn't matter to him, that he was happy to be her dragon, that she'd claimed rightfully so.

A sweet sentiment she'd believed in most days…but ever since this burning feeling from Silverwing…Rhaena was beginning to doubt things.

He'd chosen her above all others, and of course, deep within herself she knew that he'd chosen her because he found something kindred within her. Because they could relate to another, had things in common with one another…found one another deeply attractive, like a magnetic pull that neither could deny.

All that she knew.

But she also supposed that her pure Valyrian blood held more weight than whether she claimed a dragon or not. Either way, the fact remained that whatever hole existed within her…however the realm would view a Targaryen Princess…things would be exponentially different if she were to claim Silverwing.

"Skoriot emagon ao geptot naejot," where have you left to , Aemond's low voice pulled her from her winding thoughts about Silverwing. Bringing her back to the clear present, where she stood behind her seated husband in their chambers.

That morning had been a rather average one, Rhaena had awoken alone as Aemond had woken himself earlier to train. Upon his return they'd bathed cozily together, in the heated water Rhaena had allowed herself to melt against her dragon . She'd let his strong arms secure her fears and wandering insecurities.

But even still…she hadn't been able to broach the topic of dragon claiming .

Afterwards, they'd helped to dress one another, an activity she'd missed from their earlier days of wedding to one another. It always made their mornings feel more comfortable, when they could spend their time together before they had to step away from one another to take care of their duties.

It also gave Rhaena the time to braid her husband's hair, something she really loved doing.

She had him seated at her vanity table now, as she brushed his still slightly damp pale hair. Combing her fingers through the silky feel of his hair, scratching his scalp lightly with her nails the way she knew he liked it. She then messaged in small amounts of her own hair milk and oils. He never did oppose to her using her own products on him, creams and oils or otherwise, even when they were sweetly or floraly scented.

It was both heartwarming and slightly amusing to think of her husband storming around the castle, intimidating nobles, servants and subjects alike…all while partially carrying her scents around with him.

"Iksan vaoreznuni, ñuha jorrāelagon. Ñuha bartos…nyke've sepār issare tubis ēdrurys," I'm sorry, my love. My mind...I've just been day dreaming, Rhaena hummed softly, it wasn't a complete lie…as far she was concerned at least. She had been lost in thought…thinking of her odd dreams and the weird feelings her body had been giving her.

Aemond only hummed as a response, leaning his head back just a bit so she could begin braiding, "hmm, ēdrurys hen skoros, ñuha gevie dārilaros," hmm, dreaming of what, my beautiful Princess.

Rhaena couldn't help the bright smile that formed on her lips as his voice rasped handsomely at the word beautiful .

She wondered if she should have been used to his casual compliments by now…they'd been together for several moons now. Surely the honeymoon phase had come and gone by now…although Rhaena could concede to herself that no amount of time could pass where she wouldn't feel so affected by him.

So she sighed, a peaceful dreamy sound, soft and demure, "the usual by now, I suppose. Of dragons and babes. The Harvest Festival too, preparations may be all but complete for the feast itself, but then there is the ceremony and the sacrifices…"

Rhaena had nimbly and neatly braided his hair down in one single plait, tying off the end with one of her thinner black hair ribbons.

Once he felt she was finished, Aemond leaned himself back so he could look up at her truly, "you're thinking the sacrifices will be a problem,"

It was a loaded question.

His voice had simmered into a most sympathetic tone for it just as well, because he wasn't really asking her about the sacrifices themselves. He was hinting at the true center of the issue…her aversion to situations that dealt with large quantities of blood.

During their time here, he'd been most considerate if not entirely conscious of his decision to perform any and all approved executions without her present. It'd been a decision they'd never had ever really discussed or cemented as an agreed upon move to go forward with. But either way, Rhaena was most thankful for it. Ever since Criston Cole and his plot to steal away Aemond and possibly even slay her in the process…she'd never really been able to put that night behind her.

Maybe the aftermath and consequences of it all…but the actual events that occurred that night. They still haunted her at times…some nights still.

And now, as they approached their first celebration here that would require a blood sacrifice for the Gods…it would seem Rhaena would be forced to face her fear once again.

"Only slightly," she leaned herself over him, pressing a warm kiss to the crown of his head, draping her arms over and around his shoulders as she nuzzled her chin atop his head, "but I shall overcome it. Even though, for the ten years that I lived here exclusively with my family. Every year, every solstice, there were four festivals that required blood sacrifices to the Gods. And a handful of others that encouraged them. It's never stopped me from liking the ceremonies, I always have, I'd just turn my head away or close my eyes for the sacrifices. If I should feel uncomfortable tonight during that portion, I'll…simply do the same."

Aemond's hands held hers, his thumbs caressing the palms of her hands. He wouldn't ask her, he'd simply guided her arm, and her body to step around from behind him. Allowing him to smoothly swoop her up onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her waist as he pressed slow heated kisses along her jaw and throat. Rhaena found herself sighing contentedly, relishing the feel of him, his body burned hot and hard against her but he felt so soothing nonetheless. With his chin nuzzling along her neck and against her shoulder as he breathed deeply, seemingly settling himself. Tempering whatever wishes or thoughts he might have had in the moment.

In the reflection of the mirror on Rhaena’s vanity, she met Aemond's eye, watching as his jaw rolled while his lips twisted. He was mulling over the various things he wanted to say to her, figuring out how to word his thoughts, as if he was sifting through a million emotions he'd never be able to verbalize to her.

Not that she ever needed him to.

"Ñuha dārilaros…ñuha vok byka ābrazȳrys," my Princess...my perfect little wife , his voice was all low and somewhat husky, like a near sultry growl that worked its way from the back of his throat, "I don't want you to feel any discomfort, not if I can do something to help it. I can have the High Priestess perform the ceremony another way…"

"I love you, so much, oh, how you know I do," Rhaena wasted no time attempting to turn herself just enough to grasp his chin and kiss him sweetly, smiling against his lips as she did, "but…there is no need to ask the temple for such a thing. The Gods only respond to blood anyhow, and by rights of our ways, I must be present for it. Whether I gaze upon the slaying exactly or not has never been specified in any text, but physically I must bear witness with my presence. It is the way of things."

He loosed a far more weighted hum accompanied with a heavy sigh as his arms tightened their hold around her.

She could tell that wouldn't be enough for him, he'd want to offer her something…anything.

So, Rhaena did her best to think of something, thinking back to the many ceremonies she'd attended as well as the many texts she'd read on the topic. She couldn't see a clear way to avoid anything.

"The other day…" Aemond had started, the way his breath warmed the exposed skin on her shoulder made her shiver just slightly, "I found in most texts, the ruling sovereign may perform the sacrificial act instead of the High Priestess. I carry Blood Moon now, either or, it would be most fitting if I do carry out the deed by my hand, my blade. Besides, I'll be quicker than the High Priestess. I'll be fast, it'll be painless for them, and that way you won't have to witness it for long."

It was true, Rhaena's own father had always taken the task honorably during most ceremonies that required such large sacrifices.

So, she supposed the fact that her husband may want to handle this task himself as well…it made sense to her.

And in this case he intended on doing the duty quickly…for her sake.

For a moment, Rhaena gazed out the window beside the vanity, her eyes trailing along the lovely cliff side view, the crashing deep blue sea several leagues down below them. The sky was clear this morning, with only a few scattering clouds floating across the pale blue sky as the sun beamed down bright rays through the open windows of their chambers.

And there flying off in the sky…off in the distance…there she was.

Silverwing.

Flying, circling loops around her mate Vermithor.

Picturesque as always.

The might of house Targaryen.

So many things…so much clouded around her mind. Here she was in her husband's embrace, as he worked to please her as much as possible by making her life easier. And even now…she couldn't even imagine bringing up the one true thought that plagued her.

This might be her chance, her only chance, and here she was letting it pass her by. There was no telling what happened to one's body if they ignored the calling of a dragon. This flame that coursed its way through her, all fury and wanting, if she left it unquenched…would it engulf anyway?

Would it kill her if she didn't act on it?

Would it kill her to share these thoughts with her own bonded mate, the man she'd grown to trust with every part of herself. She'd given him access to every inch of her body, her heart and her soul. Her mind was usually so open to him, her thoughts and emotions on clear display for him and only him.

And yet…with this one thing…she still felt the need to keep this hidden.

At least for a little while longer.

"It's true, my father used to be the one who'd make the sacrifices. I trust you'd do them quickly, swiftly," her voice was so close to straining, such a lump had formed in her throat but she managed to fight past it, leveling her sound out as she pulled her lips into a soft smile. She hoped desperately that Aemond wouldn't see through her now, she wouldn't be able to cope if he did. Rhaena was in no mood to shed tears now, so early in the morning over a matter that seemed to overwhelm her entire being.

So instead she quickly aimed to shake off the discomfort, feeling his hands caress her belly, she placed her own warmly over his. Nuzzling her cheek against his, "after the feast and ceremony are done with. Next we shall have to redecorate the nursery, we only have a few more moons before our little gremlin arrives,"

Rhaena could feel his smile, his warm chuckle reverberating against her back, "sepār hāre tolī hūrus, byka mēre," just three more moons, little one.

There, Rhaena felt her heart burn sweetly, a truly happy smile graced her lips, especially as she knew that sentence wasn't for her.

It was for their babe.

Bit by bit…she'd have to remember to think of her babe when things felt too overwhelming.

She’d have to learn to embody what it meant to be a mother.

☾

P.S: So overall, I think what was really obstructing me with this fic was the arbitrary "40 chapters" total I gave this fic, so if you've noticed, I've taken that off and I'm just going to let this fic go on for as long as it needs to. That way I won't feel too bad if I split things up or meld things together, and I won't be fighting myself to stay on target with the number of chapters I'm writing/creating.

Anyways, this just means the initial plan I had for when baby Vaella will arrive has been pushed back one chapter so far, so instead of her arriving around ch.10 it'll probably now be ch.11. Nothing too major. (This effects Ao3 only really...)

And now I've just got to go through/edit the 2nd half of this chapter! Honestly, I like what I've written, and the plot and everything is fine. It's just the sex scene that's bothering me!! Like I don't know what it is about it, but I hate something about it…the things they do is all fine, like the sex itself is what I wanted to happen…it's just the way I've described it or something…I can't really explain it. But something about it just lacks feeling or true eroticism…it just reads like I'm describing things that are happening…but I don't think it sounds genuine…if any of that makes sense.

#aemond targaryen #rhaena targaryen #aemond x rhaena #rhaena x aemond #hotd fanfic #hotd fic #rhaemond #hotd #he saw her at daybreak #hshad

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cutekittenlady · 3 months

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Tumblr Plays Pokemon White 2 - Part 6

~~~~ Three hours of running, screaming, ball throwing, and A LOT of crying later ~~~~

How am I STILL NOT DONE?!

I have been at this for HOURS!

ugh

UGH

Screw it. I've done enough for the Professor to at least think I'm trying.

Hopefully Hugh will buy that I was just "tearfully saying goodbye to mom" or something like that.

Nearly out of pokeballs too. I am going to take the longest nap on that boart right to Castelia. I am not even kidding.

Aww Roxie saw her dads shitty movie and thought it was 'good'. Sure thing Roxie. Sure.

Still its sweet she supports him. Keep working at it Pop Roxie. You'll get there someday!

Oh Hugh have you, uh, been waiting here this whole time? Sorry my, uh, business took... three hours... My mom uh wouldnt stop crying about her baby girl leaving and it was all touching and...

Aaaaand your not buying any of this?

Okay look man, I gotta level with you. The last three hours have been a hell of pokemon catching. It had to be done! I completely blanked on it before and this whole "fill the pokedex" thing is kinda my excuse to leave home. I really don't think my mom would accept "help my best friend exact his revenge on the remnants of a terrorist organization" as a proper reason for traveling. I jumped at the chance they gave me! It's not my fault it came with strings attached!

Hey.

I know how to cheer you up.

You want a Pidove? I caught a pidove. No tradsies. Just free gift pokemon. Yeah you want a pidove.

Sooo we cool?

Thats the spirit buddy!

Pop Roxie! Hoist the anchor, raise the sail, swab the poop deck! Cause we're leaving on a quest!

I knew I liked the cut of your jib Pop Roxie!

Alrighty Hugh lets get going! NOthings gonna stop us now!

BLEEEEEEEHHHHH

Sorry about your shoes POP Roxie. I swear I didn't know I got seasick.

Yeah might be kinda hard finding a handful of weirdos in funky hats in a city this big. Do you have a plan?

.... Thats not a plan Hugh. Look for now lets just... split up yeah? I'm tired. I'll go find us a hotel or a bench in the pokemon center to sleep on or something. Give me your Xtranceiver number, I'll call you when I find something. Call me if something happens yeah?

Yeah well chances are we're gonna be splitting up a lot more after this. I still gotta catch enough pokemon to make mom and the professor think this is just a nice PG adventure. Besides, after Cheren and Roxie I think I have a taste for this whole pokemon battling thing.

With that Hugh gives a passing comment about the weird looking ship on the dock next to us and take off. Welp I'm in the big city by myself for the very first time.

And I'm exhausted. Gotta see if I can find a place to rest. So I stride into the city.

And a random clown gives me a bicycle. And ask me to do a relay. At midnight.

I've been in this city a handful of minutes and already this palce is nuts. I mean I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to ride a bike again. Pretty sure that ten year ban for running over that lillipup is up.

Whatever. Questions for later.

Couldn't find a hotel anywhere. I'll send Hugh a message and sleep at the Pokemon Center tonight.

~~~ Hugh didn't come to the Pokemon Center tonight.

That not... concerning. I'm not concerned.

Wandered around the city doing some sight seeing. Not looking for hugh. Just sightseeing. Got the last casteliacone, visited a gallery, had a stranger come out from behind a dumpster and give me the tm for flash.

Interesting city.

Still since I can't seem to find Hugh guess I better go to the gym. Think I saw in a brochure that Castelia Cities gym is a bug type gym. If thats true Molly will probably wind up torching the place heh.

Welp guess I might as well head over. Before I leave the pokemon Center though I sell a few of the items I found around Virbank that I dont need, mostly X attack and stuff, and buy more great balls. My attempts at filling out the dex as much as I could before used up a lot of the balls I had.

I'm gonna need to fight some trainers for money soon or something. That acting stint I did was fun but did NOT pay anything. I've still got supplies, but I don't think I'm going to be doing a lot of filling out the dex until I can get more money for more balls and stuff. I mean I still have like 5 great balls, that ultra ball that neighbor in Aspertia gave, plus the heal ball and net ball I bought but thats about it.

Plus I'm down to, like $4.26. Thats not enough for lunch much less, like, 20 pokeballs.

Definitely hitting the gym. Roxie forked over quite a lot from beating her, so this Burgh guy I heard about will probably do the same. Bare minimum I'll be able to get some more Lemonades.

Aight Molly lets go get that money!

With my money?! I mean I havent beaten him yet, sure, but its basically an inevitability here! Where did he go?!

Then this purple haired girl walks up. Apparently she and Clyde know each other? Apparently she's looking for Burgh too. Evidently this Burgh guy is the flighty sort who wanders out of his gym, like, all the time.

Yeesh, Cheren might've been a newbie and Roxie mightve been rocking out too hard to hear me, but at least they were AT their gyms. I though gym leaders had to be at their gyms at all times. Yknow like a 9-5 type deal. Is it NOT a 9-5 type deal?

Wait.... do you guys not get paid?!

Oh sure NOW you notice me.

I... How did you.... how could you.... How did you KNOW about that?!

Yeah well tell that to the weirdos back in Virbank.

..... By giving me money?

Oh oh no you meant hunting down Team Plasma. Hnngh well... If the gym leaders not here anyway... and considering that might be where Hugh went (who I haven't seen since last night)... Sure why not.

Iris mutters something about thinking where they might've gone and then just takes off too fast for me to follow! Thankfully Burgh knows this town beter than me. He said she went around the corner towards the Pokemon Center. Guess thats as good a place to start as any.

Now might also be a good time to break out that bike that clown gave me last night. Not that I'm in a hurry or nothing.

Thankfully the saying about never forgetting how to ride a bike turns out to be true and I easily catch up to Iris. She tells me we're heading for Thumb Pier. She suspects theyre probably hanging around there.

Why she suspects that I dunno. In fact I'm not even certain who this girl is. Oh well, its the only lead I've found so peddling feet dont fail me now.

As it turns out Thumb Pier is 'suspicious' because its where you enter... the sewers. She wants us... to go into... the sewers.

I mean... I guess if a terrorist organization was gonna hide out in a big place like Castelia after a failed coup the sewers isn't the weirdest place to hide out but...

GAH Hugh! Don't sneak up on me like that! More importantly where the hell have you been?! And gods no I haven't found any members of team plasma yet. Though I think Iris here might have a lead...

Wait.

Is THAT where've you been all night?!

NO NO NO

Dodging questions is for strange old men who jump off cliffs and run shady movie lots. NOT from supposed BFFs hunting terrorists together!

ARE YOU IGNORING ME?!

That's what I'm trying to do! Look man you can't just disappear all night and then suddenly- Hugh! Hugh you get your edgy anime hair ass back here!

Sonnova

NOT NOW IRIS!

#pokemon #tumblr plays pokemon #tumblr plays pokemon white 2 #pokemon poll #pokemon playthrough #Pokemon White 2 #pokemon black 2 #pokemon black and white 2 #pokemon b2w2 #b2w2 #pkmn b2w2

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musing-and-music · 1 year

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Masterpost - My 2022 in fics

So, last year I've written a good number of fics, in two main fandoms and various ratings, so this post will be divided in three parts: my Fullmetal Alchemist fics, my A Song of Ice and Fire and Game of Thrones fics, and the fics in both fandoms that are rated M or E (when they're not part of series I'll promote as well)

As you'll see, it has been a year of gifts, collabs, and exchanges, and I'm pretty satisfied with everything I've written!

Fullmetal Alchemist

Amestrian chronicles: Ratings G & T A series begun in 2021 with all the non-Royai one-shots I write during the "Nuits du FoF" (a monthly writing event on ffnet with other French writers) on the themes I'm given then. I write about lots of different characters, so you might find something that pleases you!

Regency AU series: Ratings G to E | Royai & Havolina I wrote the parts 3 to 7 in 2022!

The Amestrian hour (fma_60min): Ratings G to E | Mainly Royai, but other characters have their own part. The series written with the themes given on Twitter! Parts 7 to 16 were written in 2022

Amestris News Network Presents: The Mustang + Hawkeye Wedding Special: Rating T | Royai | Podfic In tonight's episode of A.N.N., radio show host and hopeless romantic Cecilia Marron takes her listeners on a beautiful journey of love. An amazing project I've been part of this past year!!! It was just awesome to work with my friends who are talented writers and podficcers!

A day away, where we both yearned to be: Rating T | Royai | One-Shot. Riza had plans for her day off, but that was before Roy barged in her home with his own plans Plans that are definitely better anyway Written for @kangdae95draws about the theme of anniversary

Royai Week 2022: Ratings G, T, E | Royai Many flavors of Royai in 7 one-shots!

Growing words: Rating T | Royai & Havolina This is a small collection of the fics written thanks to the prompts my friends sent me over tumblr, for Royai and Havolina

Is it the place or the people? (that warms my cold bones): Rating T | Royai & Havolina & Team Mustang After a time outside in the cold, Jean comes back to the teachers' room to find the people who take important parts of his life. A team of people, warm, welcoming, and caring Written for the FMA Secret Santa!

A Song of Ice and Fire / Game of Thrones

Dawn: Rating T | Post S8Ep03 | Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth | One-shot The battle against the White Walkers is over, and there's work to do. But Jaime and Brienne take the time to speak. The first fic I've ever written on GoT, just after the third episode came out in 2019! Why is it in my 2022 masterpost, you will ask? Well, because this OS has been written in French first, and translated almost 3 years later into English

A few nights in Westeros: Rating T | Jaime/Brienne Compilation of JB one-shots, in various situations and universes, written about various themes The themes are the ones from the "Nuits du FoF"

She's not a diamond: Rating T | Jaime/Brienne | Regency AU Brienne knew how she looked like. However, she'd never thought she could attract the interest of the queen's brother, Jaime Lannister, during her presentation Each chapter is written after a theme given during the "Nuits du FoF"

You dropped your bear: Rating T | Jaime/Brienne | OS, Canon-divergence When she comes back from one moon turn in the wilderness, a bear on her shoulders, Brienne doesn't expect to bump into Kingsguard Jaime Lannister Quite literally I've been inspired by Izumi and Sig Curtis' first meeting for this one-shot!

I'm grateful (that you are alive): Rating T | Jaime/Brienne, Podrick Payne POV | Post ADWD After the encounter between Jaime Lannister and Lady Stoneheart, Podrick sees the way the knight behaves with his Ser-lady, and wonders about their relationship. He makes unexpected allies on the way to bring them together. Written for my first exchange about JB! My first fic gift in the fandom, and I loved writing it 🥰

We're a long term project: Rating T | Jaime/Brienne | Modern AU Brienne is working in Catelyn Stark's team on a new plane engine. But the need for a more experienced engineer is rising, and Stark Engines hire Jaime Lannister, veteran from Baratheon Brothers and heir to LannisCorp. But his past and sharp behavior don't make him the best coworker… especially since he's put in Blondie's-"My name is Brienne!"- office, to her utter frustration But with time and understanding, can they come to work more peacefully together? become friends? or more? Another exchange fic! This time for the A Little Island of Light exchange, with the book characterization of Jaime and Brienne

NSFW fics

et moi je rêve de gestes défendus: Rating E | Royai | 1/2 chapters. Roy has finished grading his students' papers and can finally rest But an accidental phone call from Riza keeps him very awake. Now he can't rest before he's dealt with the problem hearing his girlfriend moaning his name has aroused

Ugly Love: Rating E | Royai | Modern AU They refused to love. Passion will break their rules. The translation of one of my friends' fics!

Let the sun rise over a new life: Rating E | Jaime/Brienne | Post Long Night After the Long Night, Brienne finds herself wanting. Wanting something that her husband will be happy to gift her - once she realizes what it is My second exchange for JB this past year, and my first smut with them!

#royai #havolina #fma #jaime x brienne #asoiaf #got #fanfiction #musing writes #long post #fic masterpost #self promo #roy mustang #riza hawkeye #jaime lannister #brienne of tarth

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itztlislost · 11 months

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i quit my retail job

hey y'all, it has been months since I've been active. the last time i reposted something, tumblr immediately terminated my account. I was able to get it back after emailing customer service, which they apologized that it even happen because they don't even know why it happened. weird, but whatever.

anyways, I was inactive because my mental health was my priority. I cut of friends, stopped doing the things I liked and much more just to maintain a baseline of 'ok', which wasn't great considering my only interaction was people at my job of a cashier at a grocery store.

I ended up quitting when the workplace took a turn for the worst, both coworkers and management becoming toxic and I only had one work friend who kept their head on straight. I'm not going to say we never did anything wrong and that it was everyone else being assholes, that isnt true and I don't believe it was anyone but managements fault.

I'm not really sure what caused for this shift to happen, I was too focused on my own problems at the time before i eventually noticed. basically, everyone was in a bad mood, constantly. we all had problems with everyone and each other, we all wanted things and refused to compromise without complaints. The holiday season ended, hours were cut along with all this and management decided to play favorites. white employees got to keep their hours while the rest of us didn't even get the bare minimum of 20 hours, even if we were apart of the union. I know the managers have favorites, we all do, but they suddenly didn't care about being fair.

I was already fighting a losing battle with hr, all the while I was working 10 hour shifts three days into being of my 300ml Effexor and suffering the worst of my withdrawals at the customer service desk. I finally had a breakdown and meltdown, so bad I woke the next morning unable to speak or open my eyes because of the hours long of me screaming and sobbing the night before. do to how bad I was suffering, I called out sick and included all this information which i did not have to and shouldnt have. I genuinely care about my co workers and managers, I didnt want them to think I was faking being sick and I wanted them to know I had stuck it out for as long as I could all things considered. Instead of understanding, I got a huff in reply a dry 'are you sure? fine, ok'.

after that call I proceeded to spend the rest of the day and my days off screaming and crying while I waited for my doctor to fix whatever mistake set this off. that being said, it made me realize how little my work place cared. I built so many friendships with everyone at work that I tricked myself into thinking that this location and management could be any different than corporate or any other chain. Next day, I put in my two weeks and went to stay with my fiance while I got back on my meds.

I'm doing better now and figuring out a better path since I refuse to go back to working retail. the customers were actually the best part of the job imo, good and bad interactions alike. so yeah this was mainly a vent and also just a reminder to myself every time I come back here to remember how horrible that experience was. but hey, let it be a cautionary tale too i guess. Take your meds, call and make sure they get refilled a week or two before you're out bc trust me you may think they'll refill it fast but don't risk it. also retail sucks major doo doo, quit on the spot once you see any red flags. you're disposable to them, make them disposable to you.

#retail #customer service #toxic workplace #toxic work environment #mental health #mentalheathawareness #antidepressants #withdrawals

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intrepidradish · 1 year

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Media: Disco Elysium

Year/my age: 2022-23/32-33

Another long one!

What drew me to the media:

My husband, again, had been trying to get me to play this game for three years, but I'm not a gamer. Games make me stressed out and I'm bad at them. (He tried to get me into Hades, and I entered the first battled screen, and moaned "I have to fight things in this"? ... I did. :C Do not like.) Generally games give me panic attacks, and then when I'm bad at them, I get really sad about it. DE is nice because you don't fight anything. It goes as slow as you want, and even in hot moments there isn't a timer. Thank you DE.

What also drew me to the media was a dildo enthusiast Thongria on instagram loved the game, which as a follower, blew me away. Like hello?? What? How bizarre right?

At some point in the spring of last year a lot of DE fanart started appearing on tumblr too. Ustalabo appeared with her comic, which is incredible. I gave up. I was spending all day oscillating between watching my newborns nap and feeding them, which was in two hour cycles into the night. I was tired. I was really bored. I was really stationary (mostly on the couch) and I was really lonely. (I don't have family where I live, I had no job, and I was new to the state)

So I decided to play a game.

What made me a fan:

How could I not become a fan after the game? It's a really incredible story and its delivery is phenomenal. But ultimately, I think I became a fan because of Harry, the amnesiac cop you possess. On my first playthrough, I was very timid and horrified by the character. I ended up a moralist because of my unwillingness to say anything accusatory or polarizing (hahahahaha! so true to life!). I only drank and did drugs when Kim wasn't around, because his observational judgement made me uncomfortable about my addiction (AAAAAA). I tried to please him too but ultimately failed because of how I organized my skills (I did an empathy run but badly, so badly). It was also deeply cathartic for me as a child of an addict, who struggled throughout my childhood with the question of 'why can't you prioritize loving me over your addiction' and as I am not yet an addict, the game gives you an opportunity to live inside a deeply troubled man and maybe...maybe help him? You aren't entirely sure what the future holds for him.

At the end of the game, I was positive he was still going to detonate. I didn't like Kim/Harry, the default pairing, because I thought that Harry still had so much work to do! One week of forgetting your life doesn't fix you! Having a friend to rely on doesn't either! And Kim has his own host of issues that the game only touches lightly. So many post-game questions!

I've come around on Kim/Harry because I've thought about it a lot. I think in the face of addiction and pain, having a friend really does matter (having the right friend too). Dealing with isolation is a big theme of life (not just DE). No one is perfect either. All relationships are a bit codependent when you are in a depression cycle. That doesn't mean they are bad/good/ideal/not ideal/something to work around/something that shouldn't happen, just tread lightly right?

But also the world of Elysium is fucking incredible. It's enormous. It's got everything you want in a new environment. It's depths are unfathomable. It gives you a framework to both interact with canon, deeply, but also inject some of your own bullshit headcanons like they are the only real opinion to have. Haha it's great. The amount of material behind single sentences in the game, throw-away lines, are enough to fill an world-specific encyclopedia (and there is the skill Encyclopedia too to make it oh so much WORSE).

Have I written fanfiction for it? Why or why not?

FUCK YEAH. I'm sort of taping off now a year later. I wrote so much fucking stuff last year. It really saved my life. I was finishing up some other fanfics too but I wrote about 250K words which is wild.

My most popular story is definitely my longest. Schlep is my masterpiece at the moment. I wanted to explore Kim and Harry's relationship while recognizing they aren't necessarily perfect for each other, but that's okay. Surprisingly, even with all the kink and the unhappy themes, it was smash hit. I really enjoy reading it. That was my second fanfic for the fandom.

Final Flight was first. It has some problems for me, but I think the concept is really fun. The romantic notes were wrong though in retrospect. I was being timid. What is surprising about this fandom too is being timid doesn't win you points being a little unhinged does. Nice. 100%

I wrote a smattering of other shorter stories. Jean/Harry, Jean/Harry/Kim, Harry/Dora, Kim/Harry. I wrote a lesbian story for Dora/Klaasje, which apparently inspired a really good writer to write more lesbians! Thank you!

I think in this period my fav is Cold Front which I wrote while worried that my grandfather was going to commit suicide (he's 96, and my thoughts on it are complicated). I don't often write bittersweet fics, but I think this one hit the notes I wanted.

I also really like The Tide at my Door, which is the Dora/Harry. No one wants to read their train wreck, but I wrote some truly beautiful passages in that one that shock me to this day. Like, hello:

"In the far end of this, whatever time is, whatever this is, you’re going to break each other, but you, a woman, will be the weed in the cracks and he, the man, will be the backed-up gutter. You cannot stop this. This is what happens in gendered society, and even if the sky falls on Revachol, it will take harsher earthquakes to shake that truth."

I started and finished a failed case fic for Jean/Harry's church raid, which I'm only posting now. And I picked up a secret santa that amazingly requested a Western AU. This was in the fall of last year, and both are about 50K words. Insane. Just insane.

Another smash hit, which surprises me, is my Halloween crack fic, Kim's Disco Inferno. I wanted to introduce Kim to the skills, and I wanted it to be a horror theme so its a blend of Silent Hill, Dante's Inferno, and more. It received some amazing fucking fanart from Shower, which got 4K likes on twitter (*giant eyeball emoji*)

It remains a tremendous pleasure interacting with the fandom through fanfiction. Everyone has been very very kind and supportive.

Opinion on the fandom:

I love this fandom! It's basically made of transmen, nonbinary folks, and beautiful lesbians, which is exactly the space I want to be in. It's also made of people interested in discussing leftist politics, the gross (sensual) side of sexuality, and the effects of poverty, addiction, trauma, and disability on people. Sign me up!

I've made some lovely friends who I talk to daily around the world.

Right now the fandom is embroiled in discourse about a lawsuit at Za/um the company that released the game and will eventually, possibly release a second game. It's a very hot topic and people are very impassioned about the issue. We, the fans as outsiders, don't really know much of what is happening outside of press releases and its quite difficult to get a bead on what's going on. People are still hot blooded to point fingers and shout as always.

I'm pretty on the fence about it. My husband bought the game on sale for $10 3 years ago. I haven't dropped a cent on it since and won't until they release (if they do) a second game. Even then I probably wouldn't pay full price because I'm a cheapskate (I'm poor). I also write fanworks for free about it, so I'm very glad the original game exists but that's sort of where my interactions end. It has brought a lot of joy to my life.

I popped into the official discord to say I'm excited about the collage maker for storytelling reasons, and got called a bootlicker (which is hilarious to me since DE made me recognize I like degradation and I'm well known for writing kink porn around boot worship. Peeps gotta come up with a better accusation against my proclivities, sorry bb). That's my contribution to the discourse.

However! I will say of all the fandom discourses I've witnessed, this one is the most justified. Some shit has gone down! It's very poltical. There is money laundering involved! Share holders! The original writers are cast out! Did they get paid? Were they forced out? A guy kicked this whole thing off from a mental institution.

Things I can say for certain is, I don't like that guy, but I don't feel like I have a strong enough understanding of IP law, Estonian millionaires and criminals, or the office politics at Za/um to really know what to make of it. People are definitely throwing themselves on the train tracks about this shit though. I hope everyone gets some time outside touching grass, because it is just a game. A game we love, but ultimately, not super important.

Would I read it again?

Oh yeah. I have such a backlog of stories I need to read from DE.

#my personal take

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smorgasbordofobsessions · 2 years

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liveblog: yugioh! s341-347

ep341

"kaiba, we may not always agree, but i still trust you"

i do not like this gap between the title and the bullet points

i've, obviously, been using the new post editor (mainly because i HAVE to when using split-screen because tumblr forces that form) but maybe i'm just not remembering a gap in the old post editor (which i actually like)

i've never liked shuffling cards just by cutting them - i like actually shuffling them

"yugi thinks i gave him that card in an act of friendship. that's ridiculous! friendship is for the weak"

honestly joey's right in saying that, when kaiba talks like that, he is disregarding mokuba

which, in kaiba's mind, he'snot really doing, because mokuba is a guaranteed person in his corner - so much so he, arguably, takes mokuba's support for granted

but we all know that kaiba's two focuses are mokuba and his complany - in that order because we've seen him ignore his company to save mokuba from danger

surprise surprise evil!marik has made this duel a shadow game

oh!! evil!marik put up good!marik and yugi as a bet for the shadow realm

oof the stakes are so high!

hmmmm evil!marik just sent Ra to the graveyard - smart

evil!marik looks fucking crazy haha

fuck slifer is that dark magician?????

ahyami has summoned slifer!

"could this be the end?" NO OF COURSE NOT

evil!marik has summoned ra!

ep342

thought: has kiaba ever dueled in a shadow game? or has he just watched them from the sidelines?

"such a low price to pay, especailly when it's my weaker self who pays the price - with his body"

"i plan to prolong your anguish for as long as i can"

whyyyyyy do villains keep making this mistake???

yo what the fuck is up with joey's accent? like it's both thicker but faker then usual? has been the last few episodes but sometimes he talks and i'm just ????

you know what would've been funny

if Ra actually wouldn't obey evil!marik's command because evil!marik's not actually the pharaoh and Ra would only listen to a real pharoah

evil!marik has fused with Ra to give Ra 2999 ATK from his own life points, leaving only 1 life point for evil!marik to have

yugi's faith in kaiba allowed him to draw the car kaiba had given him

i hoenstly forget how duke devlin got caught up with the gang

??????????

oh wow evil!marik played "de-fusion" to avoid defeat

oh wow yami's brought obelisk to the field!

ep343

evil!marik played a trap/monster card that's a slime that imitates the monster that tried to destroy it

so now we have two obelisks!

oh shit revivial jam!

evil!marik fused his slime!obelisk with revival jam - so damn

dark magician girl <3

damn eil!marik really does know how to duel shit

odion's opened his eyes!

ep344

yami usd monster reborn to bring back slifer and protect obelisk from Ra's attack - and protect his life points

"when two monsters are sacrificed, obelisk's force becomes infinite"

what the hell

out of his ass evil!marik pulls a magic card that only allows a monster with more stars than Ra to defeat it

yes

yes thank you

DARK MAGICIAN!!!!!!! <3

LOOKING GOOD!!!!!

odion really left his hospital bed just to let good!marik know he's still there to help him

ep345

good!marik has taken over and surrendered the duel so now evil!marik has been banished to the shadow realm

yugi is now he champion of the battle city tournament!

so marik showed his back off, yugi has all three egyptain god cards,a nd kaiba is ready to get the FUCK OFF THE ISLAND

so the island's gonna self-destruct in an hour yet somehow the kaiba's have disappeared (after arming the bomb) and the engines for the plane aren't working

the drama

ep346

kaiba will literally never get over losing to yugi

also, maybe next time you hold a tournament, make sure you specifically ban yugi from participating so that you can win haha

the island is set to blow in 25min but we have time to reminisce about a childhoos promise made to mokuba

seto's motivations!!!!!!

see this is where having pokemon would come in handy XD

"since when can you fix an engine?" "how hard could it be?"

wow i'm sorry it took 50min to come up with the idea of using the helicopter?

IT TOOK 59MIN30SEC FOR THEM TO COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT THEY SHOULD USE THE HELICOPTER

idiots the lot of them

ohmygod

kaiba's embarrassing as shit he has a fucking blue eyes white dragon jet

"oops i guess the other ship wasn't fixed yet"

"the battle between us will never be over!"

IF kaibe were to win a duel against yugi, could he even cope with that win

seto's gonna open theme parks to honor his promise to mokuba how cute!

"i know that i spent a whole season fucking you over but can we still be friends"

okay so now yami+yugi just have to figure out the ancient egyptain secrets by themselves? like... what the hell?? shouldn't the ishtars be abl to help witht hat??

dude can't even read fucking egyptain (kaiba can though)

"i've got places to go, hearts to break,a nd dice to roll"

please i am begging this show to give me more dungeon dice monsters

duke gave serenity his phone number haha

ohmygod tristan did the same thing

"you were like a.. like a sister to me"

serenity she was in a coma for so long

are... are yugi and joey about to duel????

hm they are - so joey can "earn" his red eyes back

you have to wonder why kaiba just let them keep their dueling disks - because presumably that means the other contestants were able to?

though it is good branding

ep347

last episode of the season!!!

ugh see the preview for s401 and it's a still of weevil

is this a fucking flashback episode

it was

#yugioh #ygo #liveblog

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enter-the-bear-circle · 4 years

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I was tagged by @technicallycleverdetective and I'm doing this centuries after, but oh well, I was never known for being fast

Zodiac sign: Capricorn or Aquarius (I have no idea, different horoscopes say different things, feel free to call me Aquacorn xD)

Nickname: gods, so many, but they are too hard to translate. My sister and dad often call me Lizoooooon though (yeah, that o needs to be really long)

Height: 168 cm (I think?)

Last thing googled: line-up for the Italian concert today, cause I'm that obsessed

Hogwarts House: not really familiar with the universe, but I think Ravenclaw

DND alignment: never played, so idk

Favourite musicians: there are too many, I can't. Oh well... Draconian, Ermal Meta, Fabrizio Moro, Motta, The Zen Circus, Seether, Nightwish, Ultimo, Giordana Angi, Pomni Imya Svoe, Disturbed, Halestorm, In This Moment, Midas Fall, Levante and many many others

Following: 113

Followers: 43

Lucky numbers: don't really have them, maybe 5?

Favourite songs: there is a huge list, but I'll name only the small part, cause tumblr made me rewrite this post freaking 3 times

Draconian - No Lonelier Star, No Greater Sorrow, Pale Tortured Blue, Rivers Between Us (actually all of their songs)

Disturbed - Haunted, Stricken, Overburdened

Seether - Fine Again, Plastic Man, Rise Above This, The Gift, I'll Survive

Nightwish - Beauty And The Beast, Two For Tragedy, Nemo

Ermal Meta - Voodoo Love, Vietato morire, Voce del verbo, Mi salvi chi può, 9 primavere

Fabrizio Moro - Pace, Figli di nessuno, La felicità, Fermi con le mani

Ultimo - Sabbia, Chiave, Sogni appesi, Racconterò di te, Ti dedico il silenzio, Rondini al guinzaglio, Fateme cantà

Motta - Chissa dove sarai, La nostra ultima canzone, Dov'è l'Italia, Del tempo che passa la felicità, La fine dei vent'anni

The Zen Circus - La festa, L'amore è una dittatura, L'anima non conta, Viva, Catene, Canta che ti passa

Daniele Silvestri - Argentovivo

Amount of sleep I get: 4 - 5 hours usually, about 8 on weekends (though I can easily sleep for 12 hours)

Dream job: writing and translating books

Instruments: none (if you don't count screwdrivers xD)

Wearing now: black shirt, brown baggy pants, black socks

Aesthetic: green forests, dark clothes, bears, owls, metal concerts, pizza, windy cloudy weather, cats, cacti

Random facts: metamoro coming into my life led to me choosing to become a translator from Italian, I have many cacti friends and one cat monster, I collect things related to owls

Won't tag anyone, cause I'm pretty sure everyone has done this already❤

#if you tag me in nice stuff i'll love you forever #even if it will take me years to respond #i've been battling with tumblr for the last three hours #ughh this hellsite

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gaymershigh · 3 years

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hulloh! I've only been on tumblr for a few hours, and me and my friend already love your work! Is it ok if I request some TWST parent scenarios with Riddle,Lilia,Sebek,Vil and Floyd? If so, thanks! Also once again, me and my freind love ur works alot!

Of course! Since there's no s/o really mentioned in here but people might still want to be included, s/o will be mentioned just a tiny bit (the kids being biological or adopted is up to you since I want to make the s/o gender neutral.) Also, thanks a lot! I'm still and probably be forever an amateur writer so this means a lot to me 🥺💞💞

Triggers: None

Parents au: Riddle, Lilia, Sebek, Vil and Floyd edition!

From what we've seen, his parents are not the best role models like, at all. They were too strict, pressuring him and treating him like a trophy child. However, he will definitely not treat his child like that at all after Ace slapped him with reality.

He will be a bit strict, having some rules and will scold them if they did something wrong but not as scold them the way his mother does. He won't raise his voice at them, showing them the right path after he scolded them. He will give them freedom and try his best to not make his children suffer the same thing he did, especially when he's the source of the pain.

Though, he might accidentally adapt some things from his mother and project her ways to his children, being completely not self aware. If you're his s/o, please teach him the baby steps to avoid this from this occurring too often.

Unfortunately, having a good life and children won't make his short temper extend. This is the only reason why he doesn't spoil them too much, they might act entitled and may be too late to change them back to the innocent infant they were back then. He tries very hard to control his temper if his children unintentionally knock furniture over or damage something. He just needs a few minutes alone, everything will be back to normal later.

There was one time where his child's birthday was near and decided to bake a cake from scratch, without any assistance from Trey nor his s/o. Thinking he could do it and don't want anyone to underestimate him. He was planning to make a burnt strawberry cheesecake and did the mistake of leaving the oven on for an hour for 400 degrees fahrenheit. The cake went on fire but it tasted very good when he for some reason tasted it. Nobody knew about the incident and the cake was actually used for its purpose. Yay for him, I guess.

He was already pretty outdated in trends when he was in his teens so do expect him to be like a middle aged soccer mom on Facebook every time his children send him memes or something like that. If he does even use any sort of social media and stumbled upon a 'funny' minion meme or something, he will definitely send it to the family group chat. He will make those 5th grade types of edits with one of the family pictures with a "I love my family". It's funny but still wholesome so don't laugh at him.

There is no alternate universe where Lilia isn't a good dad. Silver and his other wards are already an amazing example of how amazing of a parent he is! He has gained a bunch of experience so he got this in the bag.

Though, his way of taking care of children might be different from how it is now. Times have changed, there are probably some new and uncomplicated objects or toys to entertain the baby or child. He would love to go on a shopping trip to buy some fascinating kids toys he found in the toy store. Please stop him from buying everything in there because it looks "intriguing".

If you're his s/o, you're very lucky since if you have a baby who always cries at three in the morning or a kid who really have trouble sleeping, Lilia will sing a lullaby and they'll doze off in any second. He can wake up easily or he'll just always stay up playing his games so you don't even need to break a sweat in this situation.

His kids or any kid in general loves him lots. He will always tell his tales anywhere, anytime. If the kids ask him for a story to tell, he will always have a new one ready to tell. They also make amazing bedtime stories! It can be funny little innocent stories like his funny experiences taking care of his three wards to actual battles he went through. Any story is a good story.

He really got along with his child when they're young and innocent but when they get into their teenage years, oh boy. He will unintentionally embarrasses them but their friends won't mind. If anything, they will love him being around as he's always keeping up with the games and trends, not being a fat, shirtless creepy dad. One of the positive parts about his child growing up is that he can play video games with him just like he did with Silver! Reliving the nice memories.

He would always try to cook something in any opportunity he gets and of course, he gets stopped by either s/o or his own children. Yes, they have to go through the hard way to realize their father is garbage at cooking. He would always try to cook some food everytime something good has happen in order to celebrate but most of the times, he just wants to cook something for them to show how much he loves them. They really made him happy, he finally have a biological/adopted offspring to watch growing up (again).

Sebek unfortunately doesn't have that much time to spend time with his children due to being Malleus' trusted escort. Of course, when he does have free time and is not exhausted he will use the opportunity to spend it with his adorable younglings.

Knowing him, he still loves and worships Malleus but he's no longer his only priority in life when he finally has a life of his own other than just being Malleus' bodyguard. He will ramble and tell so many stories about his young master to his kids. They will be infatuated but will later complain about how everything is just "Malleus this, Malleus that". He will get a bit upset about that comment, so he will only talk about Malleus stories for 3 days a week.

He only has focused his life on guarding Malleus and advancing himself on magic and education. Now that he's now an actual father, this is a new chapter in his life and he's not prepared at all. He will seek Lilia for guidance and of course, Lilia being Lilia will rope him to doing something absolutely ridiculous and he would of course, woefully fall for it. Pretty surprising that no matter how much he has fallen for his teacher's trap, he still seeks him for advice.

His kids will definitely learn how to read fast. He loves reading and he really wants his kids to appreciate it too. He was about to immediately give them the books that have old and poetic language without even knowing what the alphabet was. Lilia put a stop to this and you couldn't even bear seeing how sad he looked because he needs to wait for a few years for him to have little reading buddies. Oh well, it doesn't matter now. He will teach them how to read and appreciate the art of reading no matter how long it takes.

He has exposed his children to a bunch of Malleus propaganda so there's no surprise if the children become just like him. Loud screaming, Malleus worshipping, smart but naive and other things Sebek has. If you're his s/o, please keep the children in check as they might cause problems to the neighbors. As this might be troublesome, it's at least entertaining experience I suppose.

Just like Sebek, he has even less time to spend with his kids as he always has modeling, acting and other businesses to attend. He's probably going to be exhausted when he comes back as well. Though, of course he's going to try to use all his energy to talk to his children till he can no longer open his eyes anymore. He prefers an s/o that is a stay-in mom/dad so the children won't feel lonely while he's gone.

They're definitely gonna grow up just like him. A model, actor, media influencer, or the combination of the three and it's not a bad thing. If they're going on the same route as him, he will teach them in a strict but still in a somewhat caring manner as he has learned a lot from his experience of the VDC boot camp and the overblot incident. He will only show his threatening side if they start to misbehave like those ADeuce rats.

Just because they are his children, doesn't mean they get a free pass if they intentionally neglect or not doing their best at all times, especially when it comes to appearance. He's known to be a neat-freak and a very hard worker to the point it's concerning. He will scold them if more than two pimples pop up on their face but he knows when to cross the line. He learned this easier if their child is rather sensitive and just emotionally fragile in general but they still need to take care of themselves.

He expects his children to follow his footsteps when it comes to where they're schooling. He wants them to enter a prestigious school like he did for his reputation and for the sake of his children's future. This is optional (not really) but he also hopes his children to enter Pomefiore as well and take the dorm head title at least the second week they enroll in this school. If they were sorted to a different dorm, they still want them to have a role in their dorm or in the school at all.

He begs to the Great Seven that paparazzi or desperate losers obsessing over him don't intrude into his personal life, especially if it's about his family. The last thing he wants to witness is his family in pain or being uncomfortable for their whole life. He usually avoids or straight up tells the interviewer that he's not comfortable answering questions when they're going too personal when it's about questions of his family.

You cannot feel anymore blessed when you see his smiling face when he received news about having a vacation. He can finally spend more time with his wonderful kids he's raising with all his heart. He will tell them about some funny incidents in the studio while he was involved in some modeling gig or he will bring them to a private island with gorgeous scenery for both of them to enjoy. Of course, his children's happy faces are more beautiful than the island.

Floyd is seen to be very warm and sweet despite having a very intimidating height. Naturally, he's not going to be ruthless and act the same when it's with his children because it's his children of course, family is precious to him. He has a lot of energy even after a long shift at Mostro Lounge, so he will always spend a lot of time with his kids.

He's physically affectionate so expect him to be always close and wrapping his arms around his children at almost all times. He'll usually let them sit on his lap when they watch TV or sleep with them if they can't go back to sleep because of a nightmare. Headpats are needed, especially if the kids did something good or got good news. Not saying he won't give any headpats if something bad happens, maybe headpats of sympathy perhaps.

He's very patient when it's with his children because he doesn't want his children to fear him when they grow up. If anything, the s/o have to do the scolding to avoid him snapping or anything like the sort. They rarely do anything bad though, since they're aware of how their dad acts from how he treats a dirty burglar who once tried to break in.

Since he's usually very active and hates just standing around, he expects his children to be just like him. It's never boring if your dad is Floyd as he always has something really entertaining to do at most times. If you're his s/o, you have the free entrance to see an eel man dancing around with his kids or playing some basketball either inside or preferably in the backyard. He tried showing the art of parkour but is stopped due to it being very risky. He sulked about this but oh well, once they're ten, they have no choice but to learn it!

Floyd is an amazing cook and he sometimes lets his children be involved like chopping some vegetables or stirring the macaroni. He sometimes teaches them the perfect way of doing it or let's them try doing their own meal with his assistance. There was one time they decided to make one of the weirdest food combinations and try to eat it, he won and ate it all as it was too gross for the kids to eat it. It's not gonna be a surprise if everyone in this household is an expert cook when Floyd is here.

If possible, he really wants to bring his kids at work no matter how troublesome they could get. If Azul has a "bring your kids to work" day (which I doubt of him doing), he's going to bring all his children no matter how many he has. If there's no day like that, who cares! He's bringing his kids anyway and nobody's stopping him. Sure, he will get scolded by Azul but if that's the only thing stopping him then he'll take his chances.

I don't if it's still Christmas or not since I don't celebrate it but if it's still is, Merry Christmas! 🎉 I'll just say this is a Christmas gift for you and your friend, Mouaietaru! Especially for that Jamil and Silver fanfic that you made. It's very good, keep up the fantastic work! ✨✨✨

-𝕸𝖎𝖗𝖎

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pearonthegas · 2 years

Text

act 2, scene 1; april

a walk in albert park (ausgp '22)

ent. aus gp 2022

hey hello hi!! it's been a hot minute but here i am ,, back with my first update after the long drought :,) ausgp was the first race of the season i actually go to properly watch - and ohman!! it was quite something

unfortunately i missed out on all the fp sessions because i've been busy with school, but quali was quite a run! the one takeaway i've gotten from the bits and pieces i've managed to gather over the weeks? none of these cars are safe from any issues whatsoever - everyone seems to be struggling with something (except maybe ferrari??) it's going to be quitee the season

i love how the rest of the field is getting a lot more competitive with each other !! seeing more battles other than just the one for first made me appreciate the event so much more!! it feels a lot more exciting this way <33

i cannot begin to express first of all. how in AWE i am of albon?? sir really went for a whole race with a SINGLE set of tyres like HELLO a) what were you trying to do bby and b) THE FACT THAT HE STILL KEPT IT UP THERE IN THE POINTS THE WHOLE TIME - that williams seems more promising than otherwise shown,,i think there are some good things coming

the aston martins did NOT have luck on their side this weekend :/ absolutely insane the way their weekend went - universe rlly said <3 no; but it did increase my love for seb so that's a plus!!

i think my main. thing with this whole thing might be with rbpt tbh!! i hate that acronym its so ugly im sorry but unfortunately im an alphatauri girl so i have to live w it. that engine is literally giving me heartache every single weekend!! the fact that max had to retire made me want to YELL because if he's having issues with the engine that means that there's chances of all the other three having issues too and i'm not excited for that!! how're we going to make it through the whole season this way wails

the ats did not look too great this weekend but i still have the slightest sliver of hope for them. i think we can still pull through it's still early in the season!! yuki and pierre have also the best relationship ever (the not boyfriends, with their perfectly synchronised race starts? soulmates.) but someone needs to tell pierre to get a new hairdresser. sir. i love you but please. you are balding.

to bring the wonderful weekend to a close sir lewis hamilton and george russell are a three hour drive from me, and a friend of a friend spotted them at the gas station - mercedes amg (and lewis for that matter) will always be a national treasure to us tbh!! not even racing under our flag but we all feel so much pride for them <3 (thank you petronas for being the one good thing to come out of this gov)

exit aus gp 2022.

ent. small life update (below the break)

past few months have been HECTIC - but i think a new chapter of my silly little life begun at some point (not sure when) hence the beginning of act 2!! i'm glad to still be able to have this space - tumblr unironically makes me feel the safest on any social media

rundown of everything that's happened since i've last made a proper post? i'm preparing for my first two AS exams next month, i've made more friends in the past month than i have in the past two years (many of which don't even attend our school, and are seniors who old me would have actually absolutely detested maybe), i'm figuring out what it means to love someone, and what it means to actively choose to love them, i'm trying to be a bit kinder to myself, to not be so inherently wrapped up in grades and numbers

ramadan started more than a week ago <3 ramadan mubarak to my lovely muslim friends here

my mental health is a mess right now. but it has its good days. i hope to share as many of those with you as possible :)

as ever, with lots of love,

iman.

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clonecumber · 2 years

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I have a LOT of thoughts about the Cuy'val Dar, but I'll save that for a second "ask." Correspondence is very silly here with such a small character limit, lol. As for Jango, the kid was only 8 when his family is killed on Concord Dawn! Jaster brings him along not only to let him avenge his parents, but to help plant a bomb and blow up some Death Watch. Then, just six years later, Fett is leading 1/3 of their forces at Korda 6 when he's just 14! Gotta figure Jaster kept him on the front lines...

That last one about Jango was ZangZip. More on the Cuy'val Dar. Whenever I'm workshopping a new character in ff a series I co-author set on Kamino, I always go to this quote from KT's blog on the group: "[they] either needed the fee very badly, or they were insanely loyal to Jango, or they wanted to disappear for reasons best known to themselves..." Yeah, definitely scum and villainy, but also True Mandalorian die-hards who would follow Fett to the literal end of the Galaxy. ~ZZ

And one more from me to round out this character limit. My unsolicited plug for the Cuy'val Dar fanfic series, lol. It's long, ongoing and very much character driven, but the biggest plot thread we tackle focuses specifically on the trainers and their struggles when live-fire exercises start. Tumblr won't let me post links, but it's called Friends in Strange Places. I've got the chapter index in my gallery on DeviantArt under "zang-zip" Check it out if you're ever hankering for more Cuy'val Dar.

*waves!*

Thanks for your asks. I'm enjoying this conversation! If anyone is interested in Cuy'val Dar fic, ZangZip has an offer. (I haven't read it myself, but it's there if any of you want to try.)

I looked but I couldn't verify the ages you quoted anywhere, and I can't access my copies of Open Season to check. I also couldn't find anything that contradicted you though, so I'll go with what you said, that Jango was 8-years-old when orphaned, and 14 at Korda Six, which would have been his first experience with command.

Nice.

I feel like there are two ways to take that which is,

1) Jaster Mereel is one of those fringe groups that starts full-on training and taking their kids to war very, very young. Possible! Also kind of interesting to think of Jaster as this force for so much change who nonetheless is still a product of his own upbringing.

2) I have thoughts on this and will not shut up about them whoops okay here we go...

OKAY. So,

Gotta figure Jaster kept him on the front lines...

I'm not actually sure? Or at least, I can come up with some alternatives and I'm gonna toss them at the wall since I have a spare hour and wanna see if anything sticks. (This is, of course, just my own idle speculations. I'm not arguing with your own interpretation or trying to say I think you're wrong, since I don't! I just have some ideas. Could-bes, you might say. Maybe if's.)

If Jango was 14 at Korda Six, that would have him about a year post-verd'goten if Jaster followed that approach. If Jaster started him on fully participating in combat at thirteen-ish (outside the extenuating circumstance of already being involved in the battle by dent of being orphaned right in the middle of it ala Concord Dawn), that's at least a whole year of practical experience already, gotten while the True Mandalorians have been at active war and opportunities for combat experience are probably thick on the ground. This on top of four-to-five years of learning the "basics" (basics by Mandalorian mercenary standards).

Most real life officers have significantly less training before their first posting (for better or worse) (but then they also tend to have greater brain development because they aren’t actual children so maybe it balances out but if I scream about the lack of child protection laws in Star Wars I will never get anything else done), and Jango was only one squad commander out of three, and had the most straightforward of the units to work with.

(It's also difficult to tell the size of these units; they say "squad" in the same breath as "company" (Montross) and "division" (Jaster) and "group" (Jango), so...those words don't mean what you think they mean, Star Wars? but it seems like Jango had the smallest number of people to work with? Maybe, maybe not. We'll say it was an even 1/3 for argument's sake, since I don't feel it changes too much of my point - Star Wars also has green-as-a-reed 14-year-olds fresh off the ship acting as Commanders during the Clone Wars in active conflict so this is apparently just a normal sort of "baby's first" command thing with this universe. We'll let it slide. I guess.)

They also didn't really expect Korda Six to have much by way of resistance, and Jango's infantry unit's primary tasking was rearguard and covering escape routes, at least before shit hit the fan and the initial plan went out of the window. That's probably about as milk run as it gets. If Jango only really started going to war when he was twelve or thirteen, giving him one-to-two years of practical experience before he assumed a command role, I can definitely see the timing working out.

HOWEVER. Let's assume Jaster did keep Jango in/nearer the active fighting after he adopted him, straight from 8-years-old and on, because I'm not done yet:

Still could be that Jaster is “one of ‘those’”, sure. But the True Mandalorians were also at active war with an extremely aggressive and tenacious enemy who didn't draw the line at killing/imprisoning, torturing, and brainwashing even civilian children, much less the kids of their actual enemies. To me, it's possible that this extenuating circumstance created a situation where Jango (and any other children of the True Mandalorian clans, probably) were pushed through their training faster than they otherwise would have been whether their parents wanted them to be or not. This might have been viewed as a grim wartime necessity, however, rather than an ideal*. And like, they could have sent their kids somewhere to hide, maybe, but I'm not sure a Mandalorian parent would necessarily feel that having their kid out of their reach - to protect and train - is the better option.

*(Ohhh, except maybe some of these people saw this "grim wartime necessity" and took it as a point of pride instead, like dumbasses, and made it their new ideal? The timeline doesn't really add up for Munin, but I sort of wonder if, if this was the case, that might be used as an explanation for why this particular child-rearing tactic saw a resurgence in popularity around when Kal was applying it. It's the ~True Mandalorian way~! A really misguided show of support, basically. Like people do. Probably made it easier for Jango to recruit for the Cuy'val Dar, though?)

#ZangZip #other star wars meta I guess #I like speculating #star wars #repcomm

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samshogwarts · 3 years

Text

My review of 2020

Or: I say thank you.

First of all, sorry for the long post 😅. You guys know I don'tike long posts without a "read more under the line". But I nade the post with my mobile phone.... Aaaaaaaanyway. Also sorry for all the tags. I hope I don't annoyed someone with it <~<. So let's continue:

I think this year has been a particularly difficult year for everyone. As 2020 is drawing to a close, I mentally let the year pass again.

The bottom line is that I have to say that 2020 was turbulent for me, but not necessarily bad. Much good, but also bad, has happened. And I want to start with the bad things right away.

At the beginning of the year, my depression and eating disorder relapsed. I've always had trouble talking about it because I know my friends can't handle this issue. I felt pressured because they wanted to do things with me, but I couldn't. So I withdrew completely, hiding my emotions and wearing a mask.

At that time I created this blog. At first I didn't want to create my own content, just follow the content of @ladycibia, @hogwartsmystory and @kyril-hphm. Incidentally, that is also the reason why I call these 3 blogs the Big Three. So it's their fault that I'm here. Lol.

And then the first Hyops message came at the end of March. A very good friend of mine got Corvid-19 and lost the battle against the disease a few days later. I still remember how the news pulled the floor from under my feet. It feels like I completely lost faith in everything and I started to realize how dangerous this year could be.

But life goes on and so I visited a friend and her family in early July. It was the anniversary of her husband's death, who was also a very good friend of mine. He died of cancer last year and I couldn't go to his funeral. So I wanted to stop by on the day he died. I actually thought I could do it. But when you read a friend's name on a tombstone for the first time.. Guys, that's a punch in the stomach like no other and I can't really describe how it feels. I had made up my mind not to cry in front of his wife or children because it was hard enough for them. Didn't work.

And of course this year meant to go one better.

Another friend of mine died of the virus in mid-August, leaving behind a wife and a child. Again, I was unable to attend the funeral. And to be honest, it still bothers me way more I want to admit. In two years I lost three wonderful people who meant a lot to me and I couldn't say goodbye to any of them. When I see the three of them again after my death, you can be sure I'll kick their butts for it.

But August was the worst month for me in many ways. In addition to the death of my buddy, my father's family also volunteered. And that means only one thing - trouble. And properly. I haven't had contact with this family for over 12 years for good reason. Now one person from this family has passed away. And first of all, I don't really care if anyone of them would die. I don't even know the person who passed away. But I wasn't told either by my grandmother or my father. So my deadline to cancel the inheritance has expired. Of course it was debts. You have to know that the inheritance rights of my country are very complicated. The reason my father or grandmother didn't tell me about it was because they didn't want to bother with the paperwork. They always had the opportunity to contact me via Facebook or my half-sister. But that would mean work for them. And while I was walking from lawyer to lawyer to court to court, I was allowed to hear sayings from my grandmother that I apparently have achieved nothing in my life. Nice to know that some people never change. I'm still struggling with this matter to this day and will probably not be able to fully clarify this until the beginning of 2021.

At the end of October everything seemed to be taking its revenge and I passed out at a friend's house. Nobody knows exactly what happened until today, but my friend took me to the hospital where I had to stay one night. That was Halloween. And I'm such a big fan of hospitals hahahaha hahahaha. After that I was allowed to wear an ECG for 2 weeks and it turned out that my heart values had deteriorated. Why not. Let's just take everything with us this year!

Rounding out the negatives this year was my (as a teenager) best friend's suicide. I have to say that I haven't had any contact with this person for 9 years. However, it is the one who cut herself in her youth and then called me afterwards because she didn't know what to do. It was also the one I tried to get into therapy for 2 years. But her mother was always against it. And it was exactly this mother who was standing in my mother's shop, telling her about her daughter's suicide and that I was probably in the farewell letter. I don't know exactly what it said, but the mother now blames me for her daughter's suicide. And do you know what's craziest about the whole thing? I agreed with her! I really thought it was my fault because I knew how sick my former friend was. Yet I was the one who ended the friendship (for many reasons that had nothing to do with her depression). And I still wonder what would have happened if I had acted differently.

But enough of the negative things! A lot of nice things happened this year too. Among other things, I have found a new job within my group, earn more money and have pleasant working hours. I've renovated my apartment and I've started saving money on a new one. My two nieces are now going to school and I am a proud aunt. My male best friend and his girlfriend (my best harry potter friend) are pregnant and are expecting their first child soon and my mother's health is better.

But one of the best things that happened to me this year is this blog.

I already mentioned that I actually only created this blog to stalk the Big Three. I didn't want my own content at all. But I discovered more and more blogs and these incredibly great MCs that I thought I wanted to do whole too. And so Samantha O'Connell was born.

I received so much great support and encouragement on this platform. I don't think many people even realize how much that means to me. Especially this year.

I have also found great and lovable people here, some of whom I also call my friends. Even if we come from other countries, speak other languages and may never see each other in real life, you are my friends and I am grateful to know you.

@annabelle-tanaka-official : I'll start with you of course! XD on tumblr you are just my best friend. I don't write as much with anyone as I do with you. You are such an incredibly talented person and so warm hearted! Over the year we have invented so many insiders that soon nobody will know what we mean. Be it the monster hug, or that my cats are your spies or our many RP scenarios, which I really enjoy and which always make me laugh. I thank you for that!! I love you so much and I am so glad that we are friends! *minster hug*

@lunasilvermorny / @lunasilvermore : you are next to you !!! XD the next person I write to almost every day. What started with a little conversation about among us has turned into a friendship. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to streaming with you next year (and this year)!!! You are such a good listener that strengthens me. Your support is so nice of you too! Just the fact that you have subscribed to my YouTube channel xD (because of the language I even have an idea). I'm looking forward to the next year with you! Thank you so much for dealing with my craziness and still likes me!

@kyril-hphm : muahahahaha. You can't escape me !!! Yes, what should I say? One of my big three even made friends with me. One of my Senpais noticed me! And then it's a lovely fluffy marshmallow! I still think it's funny that we have such similar circuits and hearts! Nevertheless you are an incredibly honest, loving and talented person. I've never told you before, but sometimes I stare (for 20 minutes +) at your drawings to improve my style (just not working so far). You are an honest person and I am happy every time we talk, or when you react to my content. I would like to say thank you for that too! You are great and you can trust yourself more.

@carewyncromwell : my Chinese fireball, my Disney princess. Yes, for me you exude the aura of a Disney princess and nothing can change my mind. So! You were one of the first friends I made here on tumblr and one of the first to write with me! I still remember how proud and nervous I was back then! Just when I was in the hospital on Halloween and couldn't sleep that night, you kept texting me and distracting me from my fear. That means a lot to me. You are such a creative and lovable person too. Ah, that's just amazing. Your comments or hashtags always make me grin or laugh. Thank you for all your support and help!

@catohphm : my fluffier Ravenclaw brother!!! Of course you can't be missing either. I also write with you almost every day and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your kind words and your support. I just love the energy between Samantha and Cato. And it's always fun to write RP with you! Thank you for being such a lovely and kind person!

@mira-shard : MIRAAAAAAA! It's kind of funny how long we've basically walked next to each other without talking to each other. And now I don't want to miss you anymore! You are such a fun and happy person. Writing with you is just fun! I also love your cosplay photos. Someday I'll come to visit you, and then we'll do cosplay shootings together until the camera bleeds! I would also like to thank you for your support and your kindness.

@sirfluffig : ha. I hope you didn't think you were escaping me! Where should I start with you? Maybe that you were one of the first to give me such lovely feedback on Samantha? Or this super funny stream and that you helped me to stream in English? Or just like that, when we talk about our MCs or pen and paper. It's definitely always fun. I want to thank you for that and I'm looking forward to playing together again soon (get Among us)

@nightrhea-hphm : * run into you in slowmotion * Night! My wonderful supportive Gremlin! I've grown very fond of them over the years. And your support and feedback are just amazing. I also love the friendship between Night and Samantha. I think it's very similar to ours, right? You are also such an incredibly creative and lovable person. You make you feel like it's ok to be who you are. Thank you!

Of course there are many, many more like @rosievixen, @wangxianforever000 , @mollydarling-hphm , @morningstarinwinter , @hogwarts9, @hphm-brooke , @raymondhope-writer , @nikyiscreepy , @immagrosscandy , @mizutoyama , @ariparri-hphm and many many more.

I want to thank you all for your encouragement, support and feedback. You are the reasons why I am adding more and more details to this blog, why I dared to start with the fan comic and many more.

It's still so amazing for me to meet so many talented, creative, kind and funny people.

This year showed me again that life isn't just black or white. Life is Grey. Good things and bad things happen. Sometimes one side more than the other side. But as long we are taking the next step, life wl continues. Just keep in mind, as like you support me, I want to support you. So if you ever wanna talk, no matter what, remember you guys can always contact me.

I'm really looking forward to next year and already have so many plans. I can not wait any longer. Enjoy the last days of the year, stay safe and most important: they the way you are guys!

Love you all so much.

#My end of the year thank you #Personal #Ooc #My year 2020 #God my heart beating so fast #Don't know why but these post makes me nervous #Very personal #Cry counter while writing this: 4 #Yeah so adult xD #Like I care #Hope you all enjoyed the Christmas holidays #Love you all #Such a great community #Never saw this before #💙❤️💚💛

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