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uttraashadha · 3 years

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SATURN&JUPITER

If in Retro, are amazing

This is Part One of series where I explain that The duo when in retrograde are ain't THAT bad. IM NOT JOKING-

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"Whatever I write down in here is part of my pure research, knowledge and observations that I have collected over the years of my practice, please take it as grain of Salt. And if it doesn't resonate. Leave it as it is <3" - Uttarashadha.

DO NOT Plagiarize my work, I'll know about it.

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-ˋˏ ༻Let's discuss Saturn Retrograde ༺ ˎˊ-

Ok here me out, Saturn retrograde is demonized at times and tbh well it doesn't click with me. Yes retrogrades are tricky, but listen. We should also consider WHAT planet we are talking about here right.

And according to me? Saturn in Retrograde is anyday better than Saturn in Direct (Saturn direct people dont come for me but you're still killing it ok?)

There are number of things why I make this statement.

Saturn is end of the day the planet of limitations, following rules and routines too, As I said in one of my previous posts how Saturn acts like a Servant, He rules karma and is significator of old age.

Now when it goes retrograde, all of these things, actually flip. (No I'm not saying Saturn suddnely is not signifying old age or karma 💀)

Saturn here, a rule follower, a servant. Doesn't wanna be that anymore. He who in direct, represents limitations, He wants to BREAK them when he is in retrograde, This position actually makes one a lowkey or even high key (Depending on the position) A clear rebellion. Saturn wants to become limitless here. He wants to do things that are not associated with Saturn in direct. He goes all crazy opposite, and tbh most of these things can be considered positive.

As he now wants to become limitless, Saturn in direct natives, who can be restricting in certain way or fashion,With Retrograde Saturn here goes out and wants to experience and learn, the seeking, eager energy is CRAZY here. And he will learn in ways that are not traditional, yeah, he loses his track of traditionality here too. He hates routines and doesn't wanna be abided by them which then makes them someone who wouldnt ever go for a 9 to 5 job, a good tip- if you see someone with Saturn in Retro just know, they arent made for 9 to 5 jobs. Even if they end up in one, it ain't gonna last long. (THERE CAN BE SOME EXCEPTIONS) but so far, I haven't seen anybody with Saturn in retro happily doing the jobs with fixed timings. Its just not for them, while saturn in direct can adjust with it if they want to. (You'll see most celebrities having Saturn in Retro) because mostly in media business, timings, routines, etc are never fixed. And people in Saturn retro can do AMAZING with such jobs , because for them even in daily "routines" they need this feel the sense of newness.

You'll tell them "we going to work 3 in the morning" and they'll be "ah what ok gonna pack bags ig"

Overall this retro kinda makes them adventurous, they lowkey need adventure in some kind or form (If these guys have Jupiter retro along with this, their " adventure" might mean ending up learning about weirdest things at 4 in the morning) .

Now coming with the old age thing and karma. This thing kinda flips too. How?

Saturn in retro makes you struggle in the first half of your life (so making you pay for your karma when you are young) and then letting lose relax as you cross your 30s.

While saturn in direct can make you struggle in later half of the life (old age). After 30s.

People with Capricorn placements even if with Saturn in retro can make one yet conservative, traditional,limiting and unconventional and experimental at the same time. It's a weird weird match. The native might even question themselves here and there "am I legit like that...I thought I was like THIS".

This can be caused, because of constant friction between Capricorn and Saturn retro. Specially if Saturn is in Aries (Lmao idk this is chaotic)

Saturn Retro in Aries legit gonna add such a fire to the already rebellion Saturn and if you have cap placements there is constant back and forth.

Oh and because it has CROSSED the limitations,, it makes you successful in life, cus no limitations right? Specially if its sitting with good placement like 10th, 11th or 3rd.

Saturn in Retro can also make one quite with ethic of being rich. (I'm talking in vedic terms) back then being rich according to sages were being "Spiritual" while pleasures and desires were seen as sign poverty. Saturn in retro kinda gives this boost of possibilty of one becoming rich in life (in sense of desires, money etc)

Saturn in retrograde thus becomes about "Self" rather than the Servant Saturn in direct who is always about "Others". Saturn in retro knows where to think about self and also about others. Here one becomes quite reflecting of their own actions because they are now paying attention to themselves too just as outside.

Now this rebellion side may take a turn and become quite toxic (as in hurting the society and always caring about going against elders to the point its actually stupid) but if your mars is well placed (if Mars in Capricorn for instance these guys will be well balanced of all. They know when to cross lines and when to live by their own rules) and if you have grounding placements of Virgo, you'll be fine too.

-But mostly saturn retro doesn't make you go act crazy etc. This is a rare instance that could take place, though personally I haven't seen anybody with this placement doing such things but let's say it's more like a add up to what could go wrong, IF.

Overall, Saturn in Retro makes you a limitless, experimental, unconventional and quite adjusting of a person. While the direct can make one quite limiting and all this saturn purely represents. Hence why I land on to saying, Saturn in retrograde is tbh? NOT BAD.

These guys are diamonds that are tbh, too excited (If placed in aries) for anything. And if saturn is Retro and in Aries seith not much capricorn present, the friction would maybe be less because there is no direct Saturn to cause restrictions here.

If this post goes well I'll soon be posting about why Jupiter is amazing deal as well if in retro in pt. 2.

I wish you health, wealth and luck, reader. ▁ ▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ █ 100 %

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・

PT. 2 , JUPITER IN RETRO!

╰┈➤ main page..

-X x X

#saturn retrograde #astrology notes #sidereal astrology #astro notes #astrology #vedic astrology #astro observations #saturn #Mars in Capricorn #Saturn in Aries #Vedic Notes #retrogrades #retrograde #uttarashadha..🌙

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norenministheshipiestship · 6 years

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Heartless

First MarkHyuck fanfic! I cried a little while writing it, but idk why, I’m just too weak. Hope you enjoy it!

Donghyuck was confussed sad and so alone in all of this. But was he really? Mark thought he was destined to see only darkness of the abyss, but then, the sunshine came. And he was falling even harder. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Mark Hyung, why are you doing this to me? - A quiet voice rang in the room, interrupting the silence that made Donghyuck even more nervous.

His voice trembled, unsure of the upcoming outcome.

Mark looked away from the book he was actually reading. His face was beautiful, wide, deep brown eyes and soft skin. He was so handsome, Donghyuck wasn't sure anymore whether his legs felt weak because of the nervousness enveloping him or because of that stunning face, that was now blankly staring at him.

- What? - The older boy calm voice filled the room, and Donghyuck felt sick in his stomachache at the listlessness in his voice.

This

Thought Donghyuck, sighing deeply even more unsure. Should he continue? Will it just make everything worse?

He fidgeted on the sofa he was currently sitting on, quite far away from his friend.

- You're so coldhearted to me. Avoiding me, ignoring when I try to talk. You even run away when we're in the same room, alone... - Hyuck could feel his voice crack in sadness, so he talked quieter and quieter not to let the other one hear how desperate and pitiful he was.

Everything was alright, from the start to... Donghyuck didn't even know when it started. One day they were laughing, playing games the next Mark was not as talkative, and excused himself every time Haechan tried to start a conversation. The following days were even worse, he distanced himself even more. Running away, going out of the room when Haechan's foot reached it. But the worst was - Why did he looked at Donghyuck, stared even, with such concerned, enigmatic expression? Everytime the younger boy looked at him back Mark turned his face away, pretending not to look. And Haechan noticed the shadows under his eyes, and that he barrely ate at all.

- Hyung, Have I’ve done something wrong? - Haechan cursed at his still trembling voice that indicated his weakness. But it was true, he was fragile. Without Mark by his side, his best friend from early days it was so hard. Those things could happen, he knew. And if it did ever happened, the first person he would go to cry out his frustration would me Mark. But... what did he had to do, when the reason of his sleepless nights was Mark himself?

Mark who didn't responded at his question at all, and Haechan snapped.

- You're doing it again! Again, ignoring me! - The younger boy cried out, standing up and making his way to the black-haired boy, who didn't even uttered a word.

Was that disgust on his face? Or pity? That mysterious expression, wide eyes and not a shadow of a smile. Nothing like his friend at all. - It made Donghyuck so frustrated.

He looked down, tightening his little fists out of anger and lack of understanding, his fingers decorated with multiple band-aids. Red, full lips starting to tremble and his usually bright, chocolate eyes now were filled with diclose and tears. He felt so wrong, not knowing whether it was his fault, if he has done something wrong or whether Mark got tired of his hyperactive dongsaeng or maybe something worse. But Hyuck didn't know, he didn't know at all.

- Minhyung Hyung... I cannot. I can't hold it. I don't know what I did wrong, if I did something wrong, but... - His voice broke again, salty tears running down his soft cheeks. It shouldn't be like this, Mark always made his smile not cry. Donghyuck doesn't even remember when was the last time he cried, other than a week ago when he noticed the older boy playing with the other members happily, but then when Mark noticed him making his way toward them he just flew. Leaving everyone stunned and confused. The glass of water Donghyuck was holding slipped from his numb fingers onto the wooden floor, making a wet mess. With wide eyes he began collecting the shards, not noticing that his fingers got cut badly as he only could think about the dark void of Mark's eyes that used to shine gleefully but now were filled with uncertainty and other feelings Haechan couldn't recognize as bad or good. Only as he felt warm hands griping his bruised ones, taking them away from the sharp objects he also noticed the wet paths traveling down his face, down his chin and onto his shirt. Then he noticed the blood on his fingers and floor and the stinging that came suddnely. Taeyong cleaned his cuts, patched them well but still looked concerned and scared as Haechan cried and cried, even later that day and night, in his small bed. And despite trying to stay quiet Doyoung still could hear the small sniffles, in their shared room, that made his heart clench in sadness and confusion.

Mark was staring at him now, still with an expression Donghyuck had never seen in his life. The once warm eyes were filled with sadness and something that looked like fear.

The red-haired boy didn't want to see those emotions, he wanted his friend to be back, he wanted for them to be as they used too.

- Even if... The only words you could say to me were judgments, insults filled with contempt. I still want to hear them. - Said Hyuck, looking down with empty gaze, he couldn't bear to look his friend into the eyes. - I just want you to notice me, just to say something to me even once. - His voice broke down, becoming quieter. He bit his lower lip to stop his pitiful sobbing, but a frustrated cry still left his mouth.

- Please.... Why are you acting like you're heartless? - Asked the younger boy, a big pain flooding his chest. He hoped, even just a little, that maybe this time Mark wouldn't ignore him.

He didn't expect things to go this way, it was so bizarre to feel Mark grasping his bruised, clenched hands, to see him standing up and to be pulled closer to his warm body emitting oh so familiar scent he missed so much after so long. He didn't expect at all to hear loud sobs and to be wrapped in strong arms, holding his so tightly yet so lovingly like this hug could cure all the pain he went through. It was so much, but never enough. He should ask, what does it mean, perhaps, he should be mad too. He had so much to ask, but at this moment only the warmth of the other boy, his strong hold and soft scent was all Donghyuck could think of.

He cried, holding onto Mark tightly, wrapping his arms around his lean torso, sobbing into the crook of his neck. Wishing it was another situation, not a pitiful cry scene of two nearly adult boys.

After that, the flood of confusion and frustration filled him, so he tried to maintain himself and not wanting to let go of the lovely embrace, he moved his face out of the other's shirt, so he could mutter small words.

- Why?

Was all he could say at that time, then he could feel the other boy loosing his strong hold around him and again he feared the upcoming. He was scared, dreaded that he again irritated his band mate.

- Donghyuck... - Mark started slowly and his dearly missed but broken voice sent shiver down the other boy's spine. He wasn't sure if it was caused by the tone of voice, or the fear of the next sentences. He looked into the black-haired boy's glistening eyes that suddenly came closer and closer. Soon he could feel Mark face pressed into the crook of his neck, his warm lips grazing the tip of his ear and his face become red at the sudden contact. He could feel Mark's warm breath on his neck.

- I could never insult you, nor judge you for anything as I myself have gave you so much pain. - He could feel his unsteady breath on his face.

- Hyuck, you said I act like I'm heartless... - Whispered Mark And Haechan could feel his own pulse speeding up.

- Maybe I am after all... - Haechan could feel his own chest clenching in great pain.

- But you're the one who stole it. - And Haechan own heart pounded so hard.

There was so much to say, to tell the other he didn't understand at all, or that it wasn't fair, not in a single bit. But then Mark's soft lips were on his, leaving sweet kisses that Donghyuck never though could be real but wanted them so much to be.

Because it was even more than Donghyuck even imagined getting from this situation, he could only wrap his arms around the other's neck reducing the nearly non-existing distance between their bodies. He felt the wetness on his face, and he wasn't sure if it was him or Mark crying, or maybe both at once.

In the end their lungs were calling for air, so they broke the kiss, the black-haired boy warm hand resting on the red, tear-stained skin of Haechan's cheek. The skin so soft, warm in touch and color that remained Mark of the most beautiful sunset. Hyuck's eyes were closed, his dark, long lashes wet and full, red lips swollen from their first bitter-sweet kiss. In this state the younger face, or at any other occasions, Mark could only say Beautiful. But then Donghyuck opened his eyes, the color so deep and endearing, the emotions so vivid and raw. Mark could only gasp as his legs went weak, but he had to get a grip and explain. Because he couldn't bear to look at his friend so broken because of his own and only his fault.

- I... - His voice cracked right at the start, but he figured that after all of this it would stay like that for a while. So he continued, his warm hands now resting on the bruised fingers and clenched fist.

- I am so sorry... - Mark's eyes glazed with tears again as he looked down at the band-aids too afraid to look up. He tried to silence the loud sob, but even if he did, still his body trembled under the force of the emotions running through his body. He cried, delicately holding his friend's fragile hands.

- I was so afraid, of feeling like this. Feeling those emotions towards you, that grew and grew and become so much more after a while I just couldn't... - Mark muffled another sob striking his lean form down his spine.

- I was afraid of myself, I was afraid of you hating me, thinking I was disgusting. Because if I did something wrong, said something I shouldn't, because it was so new to me. - His trembling voice quieted down a bit. With fear, he looked up, at the stunning face of his dearest friend.

- But I should know, you would never hate me, because I could never hate you. - He whispered the last words then suddenly, in a blink of an eye, his lips were again so close to Donghyuck's. He could feel the warm but shaking fingers on his wet cheeks, wiping away the salty tears he never knew he had so much of. The soft touch caressing his blushed froms embarrassment skin, making his so shy under it, under Donghyuck intense gaze. Donghyuck eyes filled with adoration, understanding eyes with emotions he himself wanted to give to the beautiful boy. Another wave of bitter tears shook his body.

- How can you still look at me with those warm eyes of yours with so much fondness when I hurt you so much? - Mark cried, feeling his legs gave up on him at the still glistening gaze.

- Now I know you were afraid. - Said Donghyuck softly, still delicately caressing his friend blushed cheeks feeling the older boy crumbling under his touch.

- I am still afraid too. - Added Donghyuck nearly whispering, moving his face so close to Mark's that the black-haired boy could feel his warm breath on his already burning skin.

- But now I've got you. - As the red-haired said those words, his sweet lips brushed against the soft skin on Mark's forehead. It felt like honey, the sweetest from the best place in the world. The soft kisses traveled down onto Mark's closed lids, each one of them getting a loving cares from Donghyuck soft pecks. Then his red button nose, his tear-stained cheeks and lastly the trembling lips of his.

The kiss was so sweet, better than honey, or any candy that Mark so adored. And with his eyes closed he still could see the caramel skin, the deep chocolate eyes and cherry lips. And it was like the most beautiful sunset in his life.

- I have your heart now... And I won't give it back to you. - Donghyuck whispered lovingly against his swollen lips.

Mark didn't want it back, as long as he could keep the Sun of his life close to him forever.

#markhyuck #nct dream #nct dream fanfic #Fluff #angst #hearbreak #but not really #nct 127

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