#if I misinterpret an emoticon one more time I may just go >:( | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

strwberri-milk · 2 years

Text

Don't We Have Chemistry?

AO3 || TA!AU || Kaeya x Reader || Fluff || 2,305 words M.List

Kaeya Alberich, local biology lab TA falls in love with the person who almost broke his toe via theory textbook.

Chapter 2: E-Mail Your E-Boy

BIOL 2XX - LAB INTRODUCTION

[email protected]

To: Kaeya Alberich

Hello Kaeya,

I was wondering if your offer to go over the things we went over on the first day is still open? I know it’s been a couple of weeks since then but I’ve been struggling with knowing where the equipment is, how to use some of it, and other things. I understand if you’re busy, or if you can’t do a one-on-one session with me but if you can that’d be great.

Regards,

[Name]

Kaeya groans. Hangovers were not being friendly to him.

He hears his phone buzz, not sure if it’s because he left something of his in someone else’s room, or if someone actually needs his attention. The icon for his university email makes him roll his eyes, about to roll back into bed when he realises your name is attached to it.

Quickly, he sits up, running to his washroom to wash off his face and make sure his brain is working enough to respond properly to your email. He opens his laptop and finds the information he needs, pumping his fist in victory when he sees an open slot for today.

Thankfully, he could power through this headache with a Tylenol and the sheer chance that he could see you today. Sure you two barely talked but that didn’t mean he wasn’t doing his best to change that. Unfortunately for him you always ran away as soon as you could, leaving him at a loss for words. How was he supposed to woo you if he couldn’t even talk to you?

RE: BIOL 2XX - LAB INTRODUCTION

[email protected]

To: [F. Name] [L. Name]

Hey!

I just looked at the lab schedule. One of the classes is cancelled today and I have permission to use the labs whenever as long as I don’t do anything stupid. If you’re free around three I’ll give you another introduction to the lab that you definitely should have paid attention to :P. How does that sound?

Kaeya.

Kaeya stares at his phone a little more. Maybe that sounded mean. But then again, he added the little emoticon. Wouldn’t that take off some of the edge? He decides it’s good enough as it is, sending it off.

RE:BIOL 2XX - LAB INTRODUCTION

[email protected]

To: Kaeya Alberich

Hello,

Thank you! I’m so sorry about any inconvenience this may have caused you. I will be free then and can meet you at the lab.

Apologies in advance,

[Name].

“Ouch,” he says to himself.

“Okay. I sounded a little too harsh.” He sighs and lays back in his bed, wondering how to respond.

RE: BIOL 2XX - LAB INTRODUCTION

[email protected]

To: [F. Name] [L. Name]

Don’t worry about it! Besides, how can I resist my favourite student~?

It feels a little better to him. Besides, you really were struggling. Your grades weren’t bad by any means, but they definitely weren’t high. He saw the look on your face when he handed back your lab quiz. Disappointment mixed with a bit of determination. You wanted to do better for yourself. Kaeya could respect that, especially since the little pout you make did wonders to his heart.

RE:BIOL 2XX - LAB INTRODUCTION

[email protected]

To: Kaeya Alberich

This email is technically monitored by the university. I suggest you refrain from saying things that can be misinterpreted and get us both placed under academic misconduct.

[Name].

He frowns. You no longer sounded hurt from his last message but you also weren’t entertaining his foolishness. Maybe you would when you see him in person.

RE: BIOL 2XX - LAB INTRODUCTION

[email protected]

To: [F. Name] [L. Name]

I’ll see you in a bit! Remember to bring your lab manual and any other questions you might want to ask me.

Kaeya doesn’t remember the last time he used so many exclamation points. If he’s being honest, it feels a little disingenuous. After all, who’s that happy to be on campus when they could be at home. He is happy to see you at least. And you said yes!

Properly rolling out of bed this time, he pops a painkiller and swallows it dry, brushing his teeth while choosing something to wear. He didn’t want to look like he was trying too hard but considering that he had no idea when the next time he’d be able to meet you one on one would be. He dresses quickly, heading back to the washroom to finish up and admire himself in the mirror.

Kaeya was very perceptive. He paid close attention to how you reacted around him the few times he would come over to check on you. The days he had the best reactions would be the ones where he was dressed casually, keeping that in mind when he adjusts the collar of his navy sweatshirt and makes sure his black sweats are tied properly to keep the desired shape of his silhouette. He blows himself a kiss, psyching himself up and extra thankful that his headache was already beginning to lesson after taking the medicine.

He grabs his keys and laptop, deciding that heading over to the lab early wouldn’t hurt.

“Kaeya?”

Looking around, he realises that you’ve found your way next to him. He smiles happily at the sight of your face, hangover completely disappearing at the smile you wear. The class before his planned time seems to still be in there so he pats the spot next to him, inviting you to sit down. He feels his heart skip a beat when you sidle in a little closer to him, curiously peering at his laptop screen.

“Is that a paper for the next lab?” you ask, your proximity inviting him to sit even closer to you.

“No. I’m trying to get work done for another class. But since you’re here why don’t we just talk?”

Considering it’s nearing the end of the day for most of the classes, the building that you’re both in is almost empty. It has him relaxing a little, leaning back against the stone of the stadium seating you’re in.

“What do you want to talk about?”

“Why don’t you tell me about yourself? We didn’t do introductions on the first day after all.”

“What do you want to know?” you ask him innocently, looking up at him. He didn’t realise just how much shorter you were than him but with you being so temptingly close to him he has to hold himself back from putting his arm around you.

“Are you dating anyone?”

The question slips out of his mouth before he can catch it, making him cringe inwardly but not react in the least outwardly. He’s pretending that he totally did mean to ask you that question casually and is totally not asking you that because he’s into you. No, not at all.

“I’m just curious because I haven’t seen you at any of the parties around campus. Usually, people go there to mingle or get shitfaced. Are you neither?” he tacks on, praying it sounds natural.

“Is that really an appropriate question?” you ask, not seeming offended by it but almost worried.

“I don’t want either of us to get into trouble after all.” He scoffs.

“One of the TAs is fucking one of the students in the lab. They told me not to tell so I’m not telling you who but the university only cares if it starts interfering with our work. Or if someone tries to report it. But who cares?” He hopes his words assuage your concern and it looks like they do as you relax.

“Well, I’m not super into partying, and I’m not dating anyone,” you say, now answering his questions.

“Really? You don’t like to party?” Somehow, that takes him back more than the confirmation of your relationship status.

“Isn’t that what students are supposed to do? I’m still a little hungover from a party last night.”

“Yeah and last night I was trying to memorise the lab manual for class tomorrow,” you complain, looking at him with that adorable pout he can’t resist.

“Can’t you guys go easier on us? We have so much work to do already and we have to do quizzes once a week? And take notes on so much stuff to prepare for the lab?”

“I’d love to have less work to mark too sweetheart,” he takes note of the way your face reddens slightly at the pet name, deciding to keep that in his back pocket for future use. “But, that’s what the professor wants me to do. I can’t help it.”

A lightbulb suddenly goes off in his head.

“Your grades aren’t where you want them to be, right?” he asks, trying not to seem mean and more concerned. You roll your eyes.

“No offence but considering that I’m not a science major I don’t dedicate all my time to this class. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care.” He can hear the frustration in your voice.

“I used to be pretty alright with biology. I’m taking this class because I even kinda like it. But I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Maybe it’s just because it’s been so long since I’ve done it so I have this big gap in my memory but it doesn’t make me feel any better.”

He watches as you try to construct your sentence carefully, gently patting your shoulder when you finish talking. You welcome the attention, leaning into his side. Kaeya’s eye widens, gasping a little internally at how forward you are whereas you’re just taking in some affection from a sort of friend.

“Thanks Kaeya. I guess it’s just hard to not do well but feel like I can do so much better.”

His hand continues to lightly rub your arm, humming in agreement with your words.

“I was going to suggest that I can help you. I used to tutor when I was in high school.” He leaves out the fact that it was primarily for his friends which he assumes is much different than tutoring for a bunch of strangers.

“Really?” Your face lights up and he nods.

“I’m not doing too much work anyway. And besides, you are my favourite student. Why wouldn’t I want to help you reach your full potential?” His words make you blush and you lightly push him away playfully.

“Stop that. You’re going to make me believe it,” you whine, making his heart skip a beat.

“Oh come on. You think I’m lying?” You raise your brow at him.

“I’ve heard you have a bit of a reputation.” He makes a face in response to your words, groaning.

“Trust me. They make me sound way worse than I actually am. I’m not just trying to get into your pants or something. I just genuinely care about how my students perform. Is that so hard to believe?”

Kaeya presses the back of his hand to his forehead, leaning back dramatically.

“I’m so hurt that you’d think so lowly of me. I thought we were going to be good friends after your textbook so rudely attacked me.”

“Oh shut up,” you scold, tapping his chest. He chuckles a little but notices that you’re looking at him a little hopefully.

“You want to be my friend?” you ask him quietly, making a little voice in his head remind him that no, he wants to aim for a little more than that.

How could he not? He barely knew you outside of the fact that you weren’t a science major and that you had an absolutely adorable laugh that he managed to pull out of you with some cheesy joke. He’d had crushes on people before, sure. Normally they didn’t turn into anything more than that if he wasn’t able to talk to them but something about you kept drawing him to you.

“Of course I do!” he says instead. “You seem nice, you’re hardworking, and you came all the way out here just to try and do better in class. I could use someone that dedicated in my life.”

“But back to my original idea. How about we meet up at my place one day and I can help you study? The midterm’s coming up so I think that it’d be helpful.”

“Your place?” He winces a little on the inside. Maybe that was too forward.

“You know how busy the library can get during exam season. Don’t worry - I’m not going to try anything stupid with you. If it makes you feel better we can do it early afternoon and you’ll be going home whenever you want. I just thought it might make you more comfortable to do it in a more relaxed environment.”

You lean back on the stone steps, considering his words. He waits with bated breath, not sure what your answers might be.

“Why not? If we want to be friends I’ll be coming over more anyway. But maybe if you’re going to text me or something I should get your number and I’ll give you mine. How does that sound?”

He nods excitedly, pulling up his contact list for you to add yourself. You hand him your phone so he can do the same.

“I would still suggest you send any questions about course material to my email. It’ll make it easier for me to see and reply and you can keep track of it easier too,” he adds, returning your phone to you and trying to remember when the last time someone asked him for his number was. Normally he does the asking.

“Right. That makes sense,” you nod in agreement, getting up with him to head into the lab when you both see that the lab is freed up.

#genshin #genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact fanfic #kaeya #kaeya alberich #kaeya x reader #kaeya alberich x reader #kaeya fluff

64 notes · View notes

blackwoolncrown · 3 years

Text

The (Sometimes Unintentional) Subtext of Digital Conversations

Different people have different ideas about what it means to sign an email “XOXO,” what you should use Facebook for, and how long you can wait before texting back.

Deborah Tannen

The meanings we glean in conversation are often, maybe mostly, not found in the words spoken, but in how they’re said, and in the spaces between them. Tone of voice, and cadences created by shifts in speed, volume, and pitch, let listeners know whether “Nice job,” is complimentary or sarcastic, or whether “Wow” shows that you’re impressed or underwhelmed. The literal meaning of words is their message, and everything about how words are said is the metamessage. Metamessages communicate how you mean what you say.

More and more conversations are taking place on screens—via texting, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, email, and myriad other platforms. Some of these written conversations make up for the lack of voicing with conventions that mimic speech, like exclamation points, CAPS, and repetition of words or letters. I can be “so happy!!!!!!!” or “sooooo happy” or “SO happy” or “sosososo happy” or even “SOSOSOSOOOOOO happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Emoticons, emojis, and gifs help, too. But these visual signals are only the tip of the metamessage iceberg.

Human beings are always in the business of making meaning and interpreting meaning. Because there are options to choose from when sending a message, like which platform to use and how to use it, we see meaning in the choice that was made. But because the technologies, and the conventions for using them, are so new and are changing so fast, even close friends and relatives have differing ideas about how they should be used. And because metamessages are implied rather than stated, they can be misinterpreted or missed entirely.

Different generations are particularly apt to perceive different metamessages in the same words or actions. For example, a Sri Lankan woman living in London told me of hosting her sister and her sister’s teenage daughter. When the girl refused to go out after 3:00 p.m., because that’s when her friends back home got active on WhatsApp, the sisters perceived the metamessage, “I’m not really here. My head and my heart are elsewhere.” But I suspect the girl’s perspective was more like: “I’m here with you—that’s a given—but I also want to stay connected to my friends, and I can’t bear the thought of being left out”

I heard a great range of viewpoints on social media while interviewing over 80 women (ranging in age from 9 to 97) for a study of friendship. And my students at Georgetown University have helped me understand how they manage, and sometimes are tripped up by, the metamessages communicated over social media—and how habits and assumptions can differ.

For instance, when Kate Lucey’s sister had not given birth by her due date, she kept family and friends apprised of what was happening with her pregnancy by posting frequently on Facebook. In response, even distant relatives and casual friends posted well wishes and encouraging thoughts. Kate felt that these postings sent her sister a precious metamessage: Many people love her and care about her pregnancy. The posts strengthened her network of support. Kate was stunned to learn that her roommate perceived a negative metamessage in her sister’s use of Facebook. She said she would have been offended to be kept up to date about a pregnancy that way; she would think, “Geez, why didn’t you call?” Kate’s roommate reasoned that posting on Facebook is so easy that it means nothing. A phone conversation reflects and creates a meaningful relationship, whereas Facebook creates a false sense of intimacy, not a real relationship.

The impression that posting on Facebook is insincere because it’s too easy sounds a lot like the explanation a friend gave me (over email) for disliking “THAT DRAT ‘xoxo,’ which means nothing, just keys to hit.” This perspective–if something is too easy it’s meaningless or insincere—makes sense. Taking time sends a metamessage of caring. Yet I like ‘xoxo’ (or my personal variant, ‘xxoo’), and use it, though only with friends who use it first. I think xoxo fills a need: It’s a more affectionate way to close an email than “Best” but not as fervent as “Love,” which, in any case, some people don’t feel comfortable using with friends, though some do. Maybe it strikes some as fake because it’s a substitution, standing for “love and kisses” but not denoting it. Or maybe it seems too cutesy. Whatever the source of these impressions, deciding how to sign off a message becomes a challenge, since any choice you make will send metamessages that you may not intend or suspect.

I was shocked to realize that my students might be perceiving metamessages opposite from what I intend when I reply to their email requests and queries. One of them pointed out that when he emails professors, he begins with a salutation (“Dear Professor Smith”) and a greeting like “I hope you’re enjoying the weekend.” Only then does he explain his request—in detail—followed by a friendly closing, again about the weekend or the weather, before wrapping up with “Sincerely” or “Yours truly” above his name. (I recognized his description: That’s the way most of my students’ emails look.) The student then complained that many of his professors’ responses omit the salutation, greeting, full explanation, friendly closing, signature, and name. All he receives is a naked reply to his question, and usually a cryptic one at that. I realized that I do this, too–or did, before he, and others in class discussion, opened my eyes. I had assumed that dispensing with those formalities sends a metamessage of casual friendliness, more or less the way I use email with close friends and family. But students regard email as formal, so the omission of those niceties often strikes them as disrespectful, even rude. (Now I go back and add the trimmings before pressing SEND.)

It’s not surprising that professors’ and students’ practices would vary, given the difference in power and age. But even best friends can have very different ideas about appropriate ways to use social media. Noelle Miesfeld and Rachel Jacobson had been close friends since college, and they stayed in close touch after graduation, often having long telephone conversations, catching up. After a number of years, however, they began communicating more through texting. This meant more frequent conversations—often daily or even multiple times a day. So Noelle was surprised when Rachel registered a complaint: She’d been telling Noelle about a problem, and she felt that Noelle’s responses seemed too casual and brief to show real concern. Rachel missed her caring, emotionally supportive friend. They traced the trouble to their contrasting assumptions about texting. To Noelle, comforting closeness resided in the frequency of their exchanges. To Rachel, frequency didn’t substitute for the expression of feeling and detailed discussion of her situation that they’d shared in the past—the kinds of conversations that Noelle didn’t feel could or should take place through texting.

When deciding which platform to use and how to use it, as well as how to interpret communications you receive—or don’t receive—you have to know which platforms your friends tend to use and how they use them. Some will answer texts but not emails. Others don’t check their phones regularly, so you can’t rely on texting to reach them. The proliferation of platforms means more options to exploit but also more opportunities for your messages to be misinterpreted. How quickly does a particular friend usually reply to a text or email? What does the lack of an immediate response mean? So firm is some people’s expectation of a quick reply to a text that any lapse carries meaning. A student, telling me about a friend who, in her words, “stopped talking” to her, said, by way of explanation, “She’d text me back two days later.” To her, a two-day delay was tantamount to not talking at all.

Silence can be a deliberate communication. One woman said of a text she received from a friend, “I was so annoyed, I’m just not responding. I just didn’t answer.” Yet in other cases, silence doesn’t mean anything; it results from circumstances. A young woman thought her boyfriend’s delay in responding meant he was angry at her. It turned out his phone battery had run out.

Perceived metamessages of annoyance can snowball, whether or not they were intended. A student recounted in an interview a Facebook message exchange with a friend that, she felt, should have been straightforward but became complicated. She sent a message suggesting they go running later than planned. The friend messaged back, “I guess that’s okay. Fine, see you then.” That little opener, “I guess,” and the unenthusiastic “okay” seemed to imply that she wasn’t thrilled with the change of plans. So the student responded, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be difficult. I’m more flexible than I made it sound. I can actually just do one o’clock like we planned.” That set off a back-and-forth that went four rounds—“No no no let’s do the time you wanna do,” “No no no let’s do the time we said.” Hair-tearing exchanges like these are particularly common among girls and women because, as the student pointed out, they often worry about coming across as too demanding and hurting others’ feelings.

My student Holly DiClemente explained how her peers make creative use of digital features to avoid hurting friends’ feelings. One example is ghost reading—reading a message without opening it, by just reading the preview in the text app, or on your lock screen. If a phone automatically sends “read receipt” notices to let others know their messages have been opened and, presumably, read, ghost reading comes in handy to manage the implied metamessages. If you see from the text notification that a friend is asking if you want to hang out, and you don’t want to but you don’t want to hurt her feelings, you can open the message later and tell her you’re sorry you just got it. The “read receipts” feature can also be used to show you’re mad; it lets someone know you’ve read their message and are intentionally not responding—a visual virtual snub. But there, too, they might think you’re mad when you’re not. Maybe you saw that the message was long, so you put off replying until you’d have more time to read it, or to write a thoughtful response.

Metamessages—intended or not—can reside in just about any aspect of digital communication, even something as minor and automatic as listing recipients’ names when sending email. If you enter the addresses on the “to” or “cc” line, everyone who receives it can see not only who else is getting the message but also what order you put the names in. Two women I interviewed together, Lucy McBride and Annie Finnell, pointed out some of the resulting metamessages: “You feel special when you’re the first one on there,” Lucy said. Annie agreed: “You do. And you feel not special when you’re the last one.” Lucy added, “Because if you’re dead last, it’s like they were thinking, ‘Who am I forgetting?’” To avoid offending those whose names come later or last, you can put recipients’ email addresses on the “bcc” line. But that sends a metamessage, too. It’s what people do when the list of recipients is very long, so “It looks like you’re inviting all of Northwest Washington!”

Anytime there are multiple recipients, metamessages can get complicated. I was part of a group that used email to confer about a joint project. In one such exchange, a member of our group expressed well wishes to another about a medical condition, after which all the others chimed in, echoing the expressions of concern. I was puzzled. I didn’t know whether this flurry of well wishes was related to the ongoing medical challenge I knew this group member had been experiencing, or whether there had been a new and dangerous development I didn’t know about. I asked another group member, who said she was not aware of any new developments either, but wanted to express her general support for our ailing friend. I went ahead and sent my own well wishes, cc’ing only the one who first expressed concern. But then I worried that the others would think me callous and uncaring. I rather regretted having foregone the option of allowing—or forcing--everyone to overhear my well wishes.

Every word we speak is chock-full of metamessages telling others not only how we mean what we say but also who we are. It has always been that way; it’s the only way language can work to communicate ideas and negotiate relationships. With social media, we have ever more ways to do this—and ever more things to worry about, to make sure the self we’re displaying is the one we believe we are—or the one we want to be.

#texting #text #tech #social media #digital media #articles

20 notes · View notes

stiuvar-elnor · 5 years

Text

Been thinking about this extreme aversion I have for phone calls and why I am so terrified of them. In my early teenage years, I used to spend hours and hours on the phone with friends after school, to the point that my mother frequently just unplugged it to force me to put it down, because the phone bill was huge. (Usually the said unplugging happened without warning, and that continued when I started chatting online and would suddenly be forcefully disconnected without having the time to let people know I was leaving. But that’s another story.)

Now? One minute on the phone makes my heart race and not in a good way, and I have been putting off some appointments for over a year (mostly for my eyes and getting my vaccines up to date), just because I never feel brave enough to pick up the phone. I also know that I will have to phone to get an appointment to get my passport done, but I think I’ll just show up at the city hall and ask for the form and pretend I don’t know I should call and actually fill the form online, so that I can make that appointment in person instead.

I think there’s the fact that those past 10 years or so, the phone calls I have had to make were mostly for “formal” reasons -- appointments, clients, tax stuff, scheduling lessons, and/or with people I don’t know well, and/or to ask for things, which is something I don’t like doing either because I always worry about being an inconvenience to people, even when they’ve told me that no, they don’t mind me calling to ask them to carshare or whatever. That, and, no matter the purpose of the call, I always fear that maybe I will call at the wrong moment or interrupt people during something important (yes, even when I call an office where people are literally being paid to pick up phone calls all day.) So, even if I would also rather text, I can manage calls with my family, and the rare calls I have with friends also turn out well, but outside of that sphere, things are just really difficult.

Even though things are a little easier with heavily scripted conversations in those “formal” contexts, I am still afraid of getting the wrong script, and just making a fool of myself, even though my rational part knows that nothing of that matters, that no one will die because I stumbled on a word or said something slightly out of place, and that most of the time nobody will notice or remember it anyway. But that is in no way specific to phone calls, and I have that problem with in-person interactions as well.

There are also the specificities of that particular medium. In person, besides words, you have a ton of body language and facial expression clues. I may not be very good at deciphering them, to be honest, but some are fairly understandable, so I can usually tell at least a little about what is going on. In text, obviously, there is none of that -- but there is punctuation, formatting, emojis/emoticons (in some contexts), and more time to think about an unambiguous phrasing so that the message is conveyed properly. With phone calls, there’s really just the tone of voice, and I find that this is really difficult to interpret without any other clues. Especially if the audio is bad and I really have nothing else to rely on. Without any other context, for instance, I may think that someone is getting mad at me, or at least not thinking of me in positive terms, even though their voice is actually completely neutral.

And I mean, that also happens in person, especially with my parents -- and apparently I also tend to sound pissed off when I am actually making a neutral statement, so it’s not all their fault -- but at least I can use other signals to gain a better understanding of their intentions and emotions. The fact that we have a slightly conflictual/unclear/frankly unhealthy relationship probably plays a part in that, and having a history of being scolded for misinterpreting signals certainly does not help either.

It’s not that I have no empathy -- it’s more like I don’t know what to do with the information I get and how to process it in a way that makes sense. And it is often extreme, in the sense that I either feel like the others are an impossible mystery, or I receive a ton of information that I don’t know how to process, so I tend to get just get overwhelmed by it. I’ve gone off topic, but I guess typing things is also an attempt at unlocking some part of my brain, in a way.

#the ramble is on #wc150 #long post is long

2 notes · View notes

yanderedev · 7 years

Text

Clearing Up Misunderstandings, Part 7

Occasionally, I see “callout pots” that make a lot of strange claims about me. These callout posts are always composed of out-of-context screenshots, or misinterpretations of my words. I want to write a blog post to clear up some of the worst misunderstandings that were commonly posted in 2016. “YandereDev said that pedophilia is just another sexual orientation!” That’s not what I said. I said that nobody chooses to be a pedophile, just like nobody gets to choose their sexual orientation. I used the words “orientation” and “pedophilia” in separate sentences of the same paragraph, but I did not say that pedophilia IS a sexual orientation. “YandereDev treatened to dox someone into silence!” That’s not how it went down. I said something I didn’t mean while I was fired up up in the middle of an angry rant about someone who had been harassing me for several months. Obviously, it shouldn’t have been taken seriously. It was an “in the heat of the moment” statement, not a genuine threat. “One of the rivals in Yandere Simulator is a pedophile!” Pedophiles are attracted to pre-pubescent children (younger than 14), and Mida Rana is attracted to boys that are older than 14, so this statement isn’t accurate, but that’s beside the point. Sometimes, video games have antagonists who do bad things, and allow you to punish the antagonists for their evil ways. Some villains kill, some villains kidnap, some villains are sexual predators. If you don’t like Mida Rana, just punish her however you see fit, like any other villain in any other video game. “YandereDev said that pedophilia is ‘forbidden love’!” That’s not what I said. I was referring to love between a student and a teacher as forbidden love. Student/teacher relationships are forbidden, irrespective of the age gap between the student and teacher. “YandereDev reads lolicon manga!” There was a thread on 4chan where people were editing this image by putting different things in the bag. It was a meme. I could tell that the image had been taken from a sexual manga, but I didn’t care. To me, it was like any other “reaction image” featuring a character making a silly face. The meme was about putting something funny in the bag, not the character’s age or situation. I edited the image and used it in a blog post. Just because I posted a “reaction face” that came from a manga, this doesn’t mean that I read the manga, or enjoy the content. Reaction faces are reaction faces. Memes are memes. “YandereDev liked a pornographic image of one of his underage characters!” I give “likes” to almost all of the fan art I see on Tumblr, because I am happy and flattered to see people producing artwork based on my creations. This doesn’t mean that I’m aroused by everything that I give a “like” to, or expressing approval of the subject matter of every post that I give a “like” to. “YandereDev accepted nudes from a minor!” That’s not how it happened. The story is pretty long, and probably deserves its own separate blog post, but I’ll give you the short version. In 2009, I had a chatroom. One of the members of the chatroom was a very strange young woman who did a lot of weird things for attention. One day, she sent a private message to every male in the chat. The message was just a link and a “<3″ emoticon; she didn’t even say what was in the link. The link lead to a bunch of nude pictures. This was 8 years ago, so it is hard to remember specifics, but I do recall thinking that she definitely did not look any younger from 18. Eventually, she stopped coming online. Some people theorized that maybe she stopped coming online because she was actually underage, and her parents had taken away her computer after learning what kind of things she was doing online. In 2010, somebody asked me about that situation. My response was very brief and oversimplified. Some people found this chat log from 2010, read my brief and oversimplified explanation, and chose to interpret it as evidence that I “accepted” nudes from a “minor”. This is probably one of the most ridiculous of all the weird rumors that people like to spread about me. There is no way to know for sure who that girl was, or how old she really was. In reality, it was probably just a guy trolling by pretending to be a flirtatious girl. Maybe one day, I’ll write a longer blog post about that weird incident. “YandereDev made fun of suicidal people!” In 2015, someone asked me if it would be possible to drive girls to suicide in Yandere Simulator. I answered, “Yes.” Then, they asked me if girls would commit suicide for silly reasons, or serious reasons. I explained that I did not want people to commit suicide for petty reasons in Yandere Simulator. As an example, I posted a screenshot of a news report about a teenage boy in Russia who committed suicide because his favorite anime character had died. This was not me “making fun of suicidal people”, but providing an example of something that should not cause enough emotional distress to cause a suicide. “YandereDev wrote rape stories!” Game of Thrones has rape scenes. Is Game of Thrones a “rape show”? No, it is a TV show that has very dark subject matter, and characters who are put through traumatic and perilous situations. I have written stories with dark subject matter. Some of my stories involved sexual assault. The sexual assaults were never meant to be “sexy”. A more elaborate answer can be found here. “YandereDev refuses to add dark-skinned characters to the game!” That’s not true. I want the ethnicity ratio in Yandere-chan’s school to match Japan’s ethnicity ratio in the real world. In the real world, 98.5% of the population of Japan are ethnic Japanese. This means that if you went to Japan and encountered 200 people, only 3 would not be ethnic Japanese. If you go to a high school in Japan, you are simply not going to encounter dozens of dark-skinned students. With all of that said, I do plan to include a dark-skinned character in Yandere Simulator’s school in the future. “YandereDev used a transphobic slur!” I have used the term “trap”. However, this term has nothing to do with transgender people. The term “trap” refers to a male who dresses as a female and attempts to trick people into thinking he is a female, as a prank. This word describes someone who is attempting to trick others, not someone who genuinely identifies as another gender. I have used the term “tranny”. This is because I was directly quoting someone else’s statement word-for-word. This is not because I was using the word to demean anyone. I have expressed a dislike for “dickgirls”. Dickgirls - or “futanari” - are a type of Japanese fetish porn. Dickgirls are female anime characters who acquire a dick through a magic potion or some other fantastical reason; the term is not used to describe males who identify as female. “YandereDev steals 3D models and textures!” I sometimes put temporary placeholder assets into the game, with the intention of replacing them with original assets as soon as possible. This is not an uncommon practice for early prototypes of video games. Yandere Simulator is no longer in an “early prototype” stage, but some temporary placeholder assets are still lingering in Yandere Simulator from its earlier days. I am still in the process of removing these assets from the game. “Theft” and “stealing” are very disingenuous ways of describing the situation. It should go without saying that I have no intention to ship the final game with models or images that I don’t have permission to use. “YandereDev doesn’t pay his volunteers!” Please look up the definition of the word “volunteer”. “YandereDev used the word ‘autistic’ as an insult!” A strange person had been harassing me for several months. Eventually, I learned that they were actually an autistic child. This helped me to understand the behavior that I had been observing from them. I proceeded to tell them that I had identified their autism, but also firmly stated that their autism wasn’t any excuse for the behavior that they had been demonstrating for the past several months. This was interpreted as some kind of attack on their autism. It wasn’t. “YandereDev wants to abolish the age of consent!” I never said that. One time, someone told me that they theorized that Yandere Simulator was banned because of having underage characters in certain situations. I said that it would be dumb to ban the game because of an arbitrary number that changes in every country. After I made this statement, this person assumed that I was a pedophile who advocated the idea of having sex with young children, and began asking me very loaded questions in an attempt to demonize me. They challenged me to propose an alternative to age of consent laws. I attempted to come up with a solution, but ultimately, I couldn’t think of any idea better than having age of consent laws. I never advocated for the abolition of the age of consent; I was simply responding to their question. In Conclusion

I have noticed a trend among all of the “Callout Posts” that make bizarre claims about me. The “evidence” in these posts is always:

A heavy exaggeration of the truth

A misinterpretation of my words

An out-of-context screenshot

The contents of these “Callout Posts” is always something that I can clear up with just a paragraph at the most, or a single sentence at the least. The authors of these “Callout Posts” never bother to contact me. They never ask me for clarification. They never ask me to explain myself. They never check with me to verify if something is true. They only do one thing; they interpret my words in the most negative manner possible, frame whatever I’ve done as if it’s a horrible atrocity, and then spread their propaganda as if it’s gospel truth. They've all completely brainwashed themselves into thinking that I’m some kind of evil demon-monster, and they refuse to consider the possibility that they may be mistaken about me. The authors of these “Callout Posts” have constructed a fake YandereDev in their minds. In their imaginations, I am a homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist, misogynist pedophile. Basically, every bad thing in the world, wrapped up in one package. It’s actually pretty absurd. The “YandereDev” that they have invented is worse than a villain from a Disney film. This is really one of the most bizarre things that has ever happened to me. The authors of these “Callout Posts” truly believe that they are “the good guys”, fighting against “the bad guy”, and that shaming me and slandering me is the right thing to do. The most dangerous type of person is someone who is convinced they are 100% justified in what they are doing, and that there is absolutely no possibility whatsoever that they might be making a mistake. The sad thing is, this post won’t make a bit of difference. The authors of these “Callout Posts” will read this entire post, dismiss the entire thing, and continue to firmly believe that “YandereDev” is some kind of Hitler-Satan-Trump creature. They will probably never, ever stop. They will probably continue doing this forever. For as long as I make video games, I will have to put up with weirdos who dedicate absurd amounts of their time to stalking me, attempting to dig up dirt from my past, and spreading weird propaganda about me. It’s quite a disappointing thing to realize. So, why do they do this? It’s very easy to explain. The reason is simple; they do this because it’s fun. It’s fun to hate. It’s fun to shame. It’s fun to ridicule. It’s fun to make other people look bad. It’s fun to talk trash about others. It’s fun to “expose” other people. It’s fun to ruin someone’s life. It’s fun to ruin someone’s career. All of these things are super fun...if you’re a sadistic scumbag who takes pleasure in harming others. To keep having fun, all they have to do is keep brainwashing themselves to believe that I’m a horrible monster, and dismiss everything I say when I attempt to explain myself. As long as they follow those two simple little rules, they can have unlimited fun. And, as long as they can keep having fun, why would they ever stop? I wonder if you’d like to try a thought experiment for a moment. Please imagine the following scenario: imagine that you’ve spent the past 32 months of your life working on a project that is supposed to make people smile, make people happy, and let people have a good time. Then, someone digs through your entire Internet history, finds every single thing you’ve ever said that can make you look bad if it’s out-of-context, and convinces people to hate you, based on a series of misunderstandings that you could easily clear up, if they simply spoke to you and asked you to explain what you were saying. Sounds like quite a nightmarish scenario, doesn’t it? I wonder how you’d feel if you found yourself in that situation. I wonder how you’d handle it. I wonder what you’d do about it. In closing, here’s what I’d like to say: If you’ve ever come across a screenshot of something I’ve said, and you think that this screenshot makes me look really bad, you are fully welcome to personally contact me - through tumblr private messages or through e-mail - and ask me to explain or clarify whatever is bothering you. I know I’ve said “I’m busy, don’t e-mail me!” many times in the past, but I’ll make an exception in this case; you’re totally welcome to contact me any time if you’d like me to clear up some bizarre rumor that you’ve heard. Thanks for taking the time to read this post.

#yandere simulator #yandere sim #yanderedev #yansim #yandev

2K notes · View notes

veganeducation · 7 years

Photo

Bullying people into silence turns out to be a very poor way to persuade them. I soon realized that my job was about persuading people.

To do this, we can to follow a simple formula that works for arguments and then apply it to social media.

Lady Helena Kennedy QC says:

“I always think the best way to make an argument is to use the acronym Prep. Position, example, reason, repeat position.”

Position

So, first ask yourself what is the point of the argument.

“Generally, you want to end up stood together on common ground, so look for what common ground exists and go from there.”

Next, lead with your best point.

Lawrence Winston, head of litigation at law firm Squire Patton Boggs, says: “Keep it as simple as possible. The more detailed you make it, the more punch you’ll take out of your point.”

Once the debate has got going, keep focused and don’t be repetitive.

And don’t get distracted.

Deal with one point at a time. People who feel a pillar of their argument crumbling will leap to another. Make sure a move to a different point is acknowledged.

Example

Be prepared to be the one answering questions and justifying your view, ideally with facts and figures.

“If your position is justified, don’t be afraid to accept the burden.”

In fact, taking that more confident approach can help, even if you don’t know your facts, according to research. A study published in the journal Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes suggests people will believe a confident speaker before they believe someone more knowledgeable. However, it is better to engage only when you know your case.

“Don’t bluff or seem to be an expert on things you don’t know – you need to have at least some relevant facts or experience,” says Joanne Harris, bestselling author.

Reason/and be reasonable to others

Make your main point and then add to your argument with short additions to further the debate.

If anyone’s reacting badly, remember that they may be misinterpreting you – even if you try and make it clearer by adding emoticons, says Dr Sam Roberts, senior lecturer in psychology at Chester University.

“The people you are arguing with can’t see your facial expressions or hear the tone of your voice. People can’t always tell if you’re being lighthearted or voicing a serious belief.”

So, aim for clarity, he says, and explain what you meant.

Remember, however, that occasionally your opponent will be engaging with you just for a reaction and it goes without saying that you shouldn’t get personal, even if you’re provoked.

“Bear in mind that you may be dealing with someone with mental health issues. So do no harm. And don’t say anything to anyone that you wouldn’t say to them directly. Shouting on [the Internet] isn’t the same as shouting at the TV.”

Repeat position

When you’ve made your points, repeat your position and move on.

“Be courteous and thank them for ‘talking’. You are more likely to resume constructively. If your debate is not going well, learn to spot when it’s pointless continuing. Bear in mind that however much you try, some people will never listen. Don’t waste too much time with these people.”

Remember that if someone keeps [messaging] you, you don’t have to respond. You could consider blocking them or ignoring them.

Selective exposure

If you’re serious about being really open-minded, you might need to check your followers. People on Twitter suffer from what researchers call “selective exposure”. In conflicts, users are more willing to share and to communicate with their ideological friends than foes, according to a study from the Pennsylvania State University [PDF]. This is where you are surrounded by those who agree with you and your views become entrenched.

“Follow people who disagree with you and listen to them. An advocate wants every aspect of their case tested. And you never know, it might be you who’ll ends up convinced.”

THE GUARDIAN

#vegan advocacy #vegan activism #activism #vegan #veganism #go vegan #animal rights #animal freedom #animal liberation #vegan education #persuasion

35 notes · View notes

year11revision · 7 years

Link

Post-exam discussions about what answers you gave have been replaced by social media frenzies, writes a student blogger

Sometimes it's best not to discuss answers after an exam – you might just end up stressed. Photograph: Alamy

A few weeks ago, I took my GCSE English literature exam. Everything seemed to go well – the questions were predictably similar to past papers and the unseen poem, (Long Distance II by Tony Harrison,) was easy to understand and empathise with – or so I thought. But logging onto my Twitter account I found a completely different story.

Twitter unintentionally allowed everyone doing AQA English to link into one huge spider's web. A quick search revealed one very worrying tweet: "Wait, what. The dad in Long Distance II was dead too?" Wait, what? This was not something I had picked up on.

How could it be that after preparing so much for the exam, working so hard on my analysis, I had failed to notice that crucial detail? It may have been subtly contained in a single line – "you haven't both gone shopping" – but I was still kicking myself.

The reaction on Twitter was instant. The majority of responses were filled with frustration, some along the lines of "stupid unseen poem" or the beautifully understated "I think I may have misinterpreted that last Long Distance II text a little bit". Most were sprinkled creatively with expletives.

But there were a few, slightly smug tweets, along the lines of: "So happy that I picked up on the fact that the father died in the literature exam today!" which just rubbed salt into the wound.

After an anxious exchange of capitalised messages with friends, including many, many variations of "WHAT" and "HOW" peppered with emoticons, I decided that this revelation would not, in fact, cause us all to fail.

Nevertheless, our reactions were undoubtedly a warning signal to the excess stress that using social media can cause in an already nerve-racking time of year. Students love social media, but having instant contact with other students post-exam can do more bad than good.

Logging onto Twitter is a good way to "torture yourself after the exam by looking up answers" as one student at my school put it. Some might say it is the internet equivalent of those unpleasant experiences outside the exam hall where the answers are discussed between students. Discussions like this cause extra stress – and Twitter gives students a bigger platform to add to each others worries.

In spite of the stress, next exam season I won't be deleting my Twitter account – I just won't be logging on straight after an exam. Throughout the exam period it can be a useful place to share revision tips and talk to other students in the same position as you. Revising can be a lonely experience, and social media makes you realise that you're all in it together. Just don't spend too long worrying about that one question you got wrong.

#DOPA #Stress

0 notes

viralhottopics · 7 years

Text

How to stop arguing and actually change someone’s mind on social media

There are ways to get your point across more effectively. Avoid shouting into the abyss and follow these steps to become a master persuader

Whenever a major story breaks in the social media age, from the supreme court judgement on article 50 to the news that roast potatoes can apparently cause cancer it sparks a heated debate. And in this post-truth world of alternative facts even the US president conducts his battles on Twitter. But what if youre less interested in just shouting your view and actually want to try to change peoples minds?

The basics

Is there a way to argue more effectively on social media? Yes, there is, says Sean Jones, an employment and sports law QC, but we might need to change our tactics. He suggests learning from his mistakes. Before I became a barrister, I was convinced I was brilliant at argument, says Jones. I found that a relentless condescension, refusal to concede any point and a tireless determination to prolong the dispute reliably wore out opponents. They walked away leaving me the victor.

Sounds like a lot of debate online? Thats not surprising. Bullying people into silence, as can happen on Twitter, turns out to be a very poor way to persuade them you are right, he says. I soon realised that my job was about persuading people.

To do this, we can to follow a simple formula that works for arguments and then apply it to social media. Lady Helena Kennedy QC says: I always think the best way to make an argument is to use the acronym Prep. Position, example, reason, repeat position.

Position

So, first, Jones says, ask yourself what is the point of the argument. Generally, you want to end up stood together on common ground, so look for what common ground exists and go from there. Next, lead with your best point. Lawrence Winston, head of litigation at law firm Squire Patton Boggs, says: Keep it as simple as possible. The more detailed you make it, the more punch youll take out of your point. Once the debate has got going, keep focused and dont be repetitive. Dont send 20 tweets saying the same thing.

And dont get distracted. Deal with one point at a time. People who feel a pillar of their argument crumbling will leap to another. Make sure a move to a different point is acknowledged, adds Jones.

Example

Be prepared to be the one answering questions and justifying your view, ideally with facts and figures. Many Twitter exchanges begin with an arm-wrestle over who must justify their position, continues Jones. If your position is justified, dont be afraid to accept the burden. In fact, taking that more confident approach can help, even if you dont know your facts, according to research. A study published in the journal Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes suggests people will believe a confident speaker before they believe someone more knowledgeable. However, it is better to engage only when you know your case. Dont bluff or seem to be an expert on things you dont know you need to have at least some relevant facts or experience, says Joanne Harris, bestselling author and active Twitter user..

Reason/and be reasonable to others

Make your main point and then add to your argument with short additions to further the debate. Winston says: Sending bullet points can be more effective than a series of tweets with a longer message and make sure you stay credible.

If anyones reacting badly, remember that they may be misinterpreting you even if you try and make it clearer by adding emoticons, says Dr Sam Roberts, senior lecturer in psychology at Chester University. The people you are arguing with cant see your facial expressions or hear the tone of your voice. People cant always tell if youre being lighthearted or voicing a serious belief. So, aim for clarity, he says, and explain what you meant.

Remember, however, that occasionally your opponent will be engaging with you just for a reaction and it goes without saying that you shouldnt get personal, even if youre provoked. Bear in mind that you may be dealing with someone with mental health issues, says Harris. So do no harm. And dont say anything to anyone that you wouldnt say to them directly. Shouting on Twitter isnt the same as shouting at the TV.

Repeat position

When youve made your points, repeat your position and move on. Much of the debate on Twitter is never resolved and the chances are your exchange will probably end before they have been persuaded. Be courteous and thank them for talking. You are more likely to resume constructively, says Jones. If your debate is not going well, learn to spot when its pointless continuing. Harris says: Bear in mind that however much you try, some people will never listen. Dont waste too much time with these people.

Remember that if someone keeps tweeting you, you dont have to respond. You could consider blocking them, ignoring them or if all else fails, send them one of Joness Error Codes.

Selective exposure

If youre serious about being really open-minded, you might need to check your followers. People on Twitter suffer from what researchers call selective exposure. In conflicts, users are more willing to share and to communicate with their ideological friends than foes, according to a study from the Pennsylvania State University [PDF]. This is where you are surrounded by those who agree with you and your views become entrenched.

Follow people who disagree with you and listen to them, concludes Jones. An advocate wants every aspect of their case tested. And you never know, it might be you wholl ends up convinced.