#if i had to list a character thats probably weird for this list itd be a character from the banjo kazooie series.

[clownkiwi]

hehe, so since im in a video game mood rn and thinking a lot about old video games/video games i love, if you were to ask me “hey ruby!!! what games/sequels/trilogies would you like to see remade???” well, here’s which ones i think should get remade: (this’ll be a pretty long post, so you can just click the link down below if ya want to read the whole thing)

out of any old final fantasy game that should get a remake like the final fantasy 7 remake, if i had to choose one, it would have to be final fantasy 6. that’s just one of my favorite final fantasy games (right up there with final fantasy 7, that is), and like. final fantasy 6 is kind of the perfect bridging gateway game between the fantasy/medieval/middle earth early final fantasy games (from 1-5) to the futuristic/modern/grounded to earth final fantasy games (7, 8, 10, 13 & 15), so like. realistically??? final fantasy 6 is probably one of the only few games i think should get a final fantasy 7 remake-esque remake, and it is one that i think can work in that realistic style compared to something like. final fantasy 9 or final fantasy 4, ngl

super mario rpg, obviously, id love to see that game get a remake. maybe with like, a lot more characters (luigi & wario would work perfectly in there), any content they had to cut out, maybe add more to the game that we didn’t even think of that could work (like, not just story padding, maybe stuff like the koopalings, daisy, wart from mario 2). idk, id just like a super mario rpg remake done in a similar style to the link’s awakening switch remake

despite how important these games are to mario’s history as they are the first original handheld mario platformers, as well as introducing wario, another important mario character, it’s kinda weird how nintendo hasn’t really paid much attention to the super mario land trilogy, or even the wario land series. and while i think a new wario land game will certainly get everybody (myself included) very excited, id also get excited if the original mario land series got an all stars-esque remake. heck, id get excited if all the wario land games got remade too in their own package (like, the mario land trilogy will just have mario land 1, 2 & 3, while the wario land remakes can either start out with mario land 3, or virtual boy wario land, or even wario land 2)

i think the original paper mario trilogy of the 2000s should get their own remake/upscaled ports to the switch as well. stuff like paper mario 64 should obviously get remade from the ground up, while stuff like the thousand year door & super paper mario should get like. upscaled graphics, or even new content (like in the thousand year door, there should be a whole sidequest or extra campaign dedicated to luigi’s own journeys that he goes on at the same time as mario’s, i think thatd b pretty neat & funny)

if any megaman game were to get a remake, i think they should be like. the original zero storyline megaman x games. like, ya know, megaman x1-5. and while ik games like megaman x1-3 already get a lot of love, and megaman x5 doesnt really get as much hatred (i think??? i never finished that game), i think megaman x4 should get a lot more love. not only is it my favorite megaman x game, but like. it has a pretty good storyline, each character gets their own unique story, and like. i just like a lot about megaman x4, i really do, and im sad it commonly gets referred to as the worst megaman x game just because of its voice acting. it gets a lot of flack for its voice acting, and honestly, if the voice acting was just mediocre or average, then i really think a lot more people will appreciate this game. like, in my eyes, if megaman x1-5 got remakes in the cel-shaded rendered style of megaman 11 or dragon ball fighterz, then thatd b cool. id also b down to a new megaman x game too aoisdjfiaos

ok, so, kirby games!!!! ik stuff like kirbys adventure & kirby’s super star got remakes, and while they’re great, id love to see more kirby games get remakes!!! and i got two seperate candidates that’d work. and that first one will be a remake of the “dark matter” trilogy of kirby games. games like kirby’s dream land 2, kirby’s dream land 3, & kirby 64. i think these games are pretty important in the kirby series as not only are these the first instance of the deep lore seen in later kirby games (stuff like return to dream land, planet robobot, and star allies), but like. dream land 2 was the first game to introduce kirbys animal allies, which have become staples for a lot of the kirby games (dream land 3, wow, thats all i could really think of oasidjfio). so like, yea!!! thatd b pretty epic

another kirby “trilogy” id love to see get remade or even get remasters of onto switch would have to be the “return to dream land” games. games like kirby’s return to dream land and even the 3ds games that were built off of that: kirby’s triple deluxe & kirby’s planet robobot. i mean, these games are fairly recent, and stuff like return to dream land isn’t even 10 years old yet. but like, i think if these games got upscaled graphics/models & resolution, as well as a bunch of new/cut content, it can also work

oooooooooooooooooo boy, there are a lot of sonic games id love to see get remade considering i think about sonic alot. stuff like sonic 3 & knuckles getting the sonic 1, 2 & cd treatment (get upgraded ports to ios & android, a bunch of new content from sonic mania, etc), as well as said sonic 1 & 2 mobile ports get released to steam or other consoles. itd be cool to see shadow the hedgehog get an upgraded port to the switch for a low price. maybe even see sonic x-treme get completed. but if theres any sonic game id love to see get a full on, worked from the ground up remake, it’d have to be the sonic dreamcast trilogy. and by that, i mean sonic games that were worked off of the same dreamcast technology/engine. games like sonic adventure 1, 2 & sonic heroes. and like, not just stuff like the gamecube or steam ports. i mean, full on remakes with updated models, updated animations & cutscenes, updated rendering, updated voice acting, updated everything!!! with that, id love to see the chao garden get a full blown overhaul, with more deeper chao breeding, more games to play with your chao, more special, unique chaos & even stuff like chao bonuses to the main campaigns. and even somethign that’d be cooler would be like. either free updates or DLC that would add more campaigns to these games with new characters (like the babylon rogues, the classic characters, silver & blaze, etc), and like. i KNOW thats a lot to work on, but like, i think a lot of people would appreciate that. plus, i consider the sonic adventure games would be a perfect introduction to the sonic series, i think these games could get a lot more people hooked onto the series!!! new & old fans alike!!! but, thats just my thots, and this would be impossible realistically. id still want it 2 happen tho 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

while ik everyone wants that gen iv remake, may i recommend a??? gen v remake??? pokemon black & white are still one of my favorite pokemon games, they were very close to me growing up, and i. just have so much goddamn appreciation and love for this game!!!! i think its one of game freaks more underappreciated games, and ik there a ton of people that can agree with me on that!!! it was just such a different and unique experience, with such a deep story, really good and underappreciated and underloved pokemon designs, and just. i’d love it if we really got a gen 5 remake, especially seeing how much game freak has been putting a lot more gen 5 nostalgia in all of their recent products (from a ton of gen 5 pokemon appearing in detective pikachu, to gen v pokemon getting galarian forms in pokemon sword & shield, and even gen v pokemon appearing in a lot more spin offs lately). like. trust me, pokemon black and white isn’t really as bad as people made it off to be in 2011. it really is a modern masterpiece in video games, i really recommend checking it out and begging game freak to give it a remake about as much as yinz have been begging game freak to remake diamond & pearl

obviously mario 64, sunshine, & galaxy 1 & 2 should get full on remakes. yinz know i wanted one this whole year, and im very disappointed we got these barely upgraded ports to switch instead. thats it on that, i dont need to go into further detail

ummmmmmmmmm, yea, thats kinda it. i cant think of any other games id love to see get remade. ummmmmmmm let me know what u think about this list, and tell me whatever type of other games you’d love to see get remade!!!

thats it ruby out

#ruby says sapphic shit #WOOOO BOY this was a big post to type out even tho it was just my thots #uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk how else to tag this so uh #mario #smb #megaman #sonic #ff #final fantasy #kirby #pokemon #i was gonna say sutte hakkun should get like a remake or even an english translated port to the switch #like the switch's online snes service thing. its p underrated & really unique n i think people might like it #ok thats it. thats abt as much as i talk abt video games for now. bc rn. i gotta watch a movie for school & do school work so uh #bye!!!! for now

[brinytrolls]

if you’re open to plotting something new, what are some ideas you might want to explore with someone??

i am always open to plotting!! let me see what i can find, i’ll organise it by character,,,no dancestors for now but if u wanted to plot with one of them, feel free to send another ask!! 

i dont really have any DETAILED plot ideas, these are more just starting points..sadly none of my ocs rly have future arcs planned out so these are all pretty casual...and these are not an exhaustive list! im open to any and all plot ideas so pls dont be afraid to ask!! 

for faldur,, 

he’s always open for ex matesprits or ex kismesis, as well as casual pitch flings. theres pretty much no guidelines for these ones, if it’s someone who’d be interested in him, and they’re jade or above, it’s fair game! 

an ex mate might be someone who found him too intense and broke up with him, someone who indulged his narcissism and boosted his ego til his other quads were forced to intervene, or something else entirely, as long as there was a reason they had to break up (i currently dont want him to have a red quad 4 Reasons) 

kismesis flings…hes open to anything. he hangs around bars often and will flirt with Anyone he finds attractive, so if someones open to that kinda thing its good to go. this could also lead to general friendships! he has no friends currently. boo 

on the topic of friends, book friends! a little known fact is he spends a lot of time on book forums, and someone to geek out over books with would be a nice change of pace. 

bitchy highblood friends. just like a bitchy seadweller squad would be fun, tbh. 

enemies! got a seadweller who would find him obnoxious? hell yeah! enemies is pretty open ended, i’d be willing to have faldur fucked up to teach him a lesson (within reason, he IS a seadweller and he is strong. he does fight a lot) alternatively, u got a lowblood (or highblood tbh) who needs a reason to be afraid of seadwellers? faldur attacks ppl who so much as look at him funny, so thats a valid option too

MAFIA TIES…faldur works as an assassin for when people need something really fucked up done to someone. do with that what u will

OH I JUST REMEMBERED fleet recruiters/anyone from the fleet/similar organisation who sees potential in him. faldurs constantly torn between redemption and leaving it all behind to join the fleet, so that could be interesting! 

theres definitely more but…tbh im welcome to anyone approaching me with ANY plot ideas they have! 

will do the rest under the cut bc that got LONG 

I WROTE THIS ALL OUT AND FORGOT HARREL 

BIG ONE IS just other mafia trolls!!

mafia bosses/hitmen who would hire him. who are doing jobs on the downlow, and need a cleanup guy! harrel is very good at his job so he’s highly regarded within the business 

especially mean mafia ppl. be mean to him. its part of his character hes anxious bc the mafia is mean 

no specifics, but i want harrel to just get Fucked Up. like i said, he’s highly regarded so holding him for ransom isn’t out of the question. just fuck this nerd up 

on a lighter note! he frequents record shops and jazz clubs, so maybe a musician or two with similar interests to help him get out of his shell. he needs a friend or two. 

friends from university! anyone in sciences, forensics, medical science, criminal studies…he probably studied with them! his backstory is that he disappeared from university one day when he got kidnapped by a mafia boss, and managed to wrangle his way into them keeping him alive. an old friend who noticed and is suddenly Very Confused upon seeing him again like 5 years later 

someone he went to uni with who’s now in the law industry, and the conflict that might arise from them being on two totally different ends of the spectrum…could be a fun dynamic! 

on the same wavelength: old flames from university. ex quadrants, ex hookups, ex crushes. people he was romantically involved with before suddenly disappearing 

i think thats all…

forrr sarky! 

no real quad stuff needed for him…perhaps an ex or two, but no real ideas there! 

other grubtubers to be friends with, or fans who’ve met/would want to meet him! grubtube is a HUGE part of his life and i’ve never really been able to explore it, bc he has no connections involved with it. u got a grubtuber troll who’d collab with him? a troll who enjoys letsplays? a weird youtuber superfan who’d give their right arm to meet a letsplayer? fuck yea dude all valid options 

PETTY INTERNET DRAMA. im sure theres potential

sarky IS a shifter, meaning he turns into a weird dragon monster in the dead of night on a full…moons (idk how that works on alternia,,,hello???) u got a troll who’d stop him when they catch him stumbling shirtless thru the city streets post-shift towards a local diner at 4am weirdly covered in scars and looing like he’s about to pass out?? a poor overworked diner worker wondering what the Fuck this dudes deal is when he stumbles in at 5am before cramming his face full of meat?? a troll who hangs out in the wilderness bordering the city and saw the horrific sight of this fuzzy teal bitch shifting into a giant dragon?? or just a fellow shifter perhaps?? idk theres a lot that can be done here, im sure 

apartment neighbours! disgruntled highblood a floor below him wondering why this bitch keeps scaling the building?? or someone who thinks its pretty sick, actually. 

fellow city dwellers for him to meet and befriend or annoy the shit out of…he takes the subway a lot, so they can meet there. or in some greasy food place

connected to faldur, any ex quads of faldurs that had to be intervened with and broken up, sarky was probably involved. if u want them to be bitter towards him, feel free. it makes for more interest >:3c 

florem time…………..

GET FLOREM A GIRLFRIEND 2K20…PLEASE. i just want her to have a girlfriend. its what she deserves and we all know it 

get her FRIENDS TOO....friends who will support her, and her weird hobbies. florem has a tendency to help other people and forget about her own needs, so itd be nice for her to have a friend who listens to her too... 

perhaps a troll who stumbles upon her weird troll-eating plant. a fellow enthusiast or some poor soul she has to rescue, either or 

a fellow taxidermy enthusiast....maybe a pen pal who buys stuff from whatever the troll equivalent of etsy is 

camping buddy...............she has no one to go camping with!!

im sadly low on ideas for florem but i DO want interactions with her...

veleno tiem babey

she needs a gf in every single goddamn quad.....shes 100% single 

a Bunch of highbloods who were cocky enough to gamble against her, and are incredibly mad about losing. highbloods out for vengeance 

on the same wavelength, a highblood who lost and got incredibly mad and fucked her face up, giving her all them scars....vel would avoid them for the rest of her life, but perhaps its someone who frequents the same casinos as she does so she cant avoid em 4 Extra Drama 

other down on their luck lowbloods, maybe younger ones, who need her help bc shes Experienced. she can become their Street Mom 

other down on their luck lowbloods for her to just befriend!! she frequents a shitty diner, as well as singing in a jazz club and hanging around in casinos. if youve got a lowblood who hangs around in those places they could def meet! 

i THINK thats all i got...but know i am more than open to literally Any plot suggestion ever >:3c

#Anonymous #ask #save #pls read this is u ever even Consider rping with me i spent 2 long writing this #fredmusings #i cant believe i whole ass forgot harrel

[tumblunni]

Okay..uhh..man i dont even know what pronouns to use for this character

Like the few posts in their tag call them nonbinary? But it seems thats just because of that one line saying "gender is stupid" which was literally in response to someone saying "stop dressing like a girl, youre a boy". And like every single artwork of this character everywhere forever shows her dressed incredibly feminine and like.. Calling herself a girl. And the series just treats it as "quirky gay man who's lol sooooo gay that he crossdresses all the time" and seriously everyone else seems to call her a man and she calls herslf a girl? Like this really doenst seem like a nonbinary character this seems like an old manga with a poor understanding of trans people that was using kind of offensive language to refer to a trans woman and like.. Now just looking back on it through a a modern lens we'd say it seems like how we talk about nonbinary people.

Cos i mean seriously man this is just a girl who always dresses as a girl and calls herself a girl and loves girly stuff and its just meant to be somehow 'comical' because she's uhh..well..clearly flat chested and the manga makes it clear she was "born a man". And seriously wtf is up with this "comical" slant to all of it?? Like im glad to see trans rep and i understand that its so flawed because its a really ahead of its time bit of representation that was made in a time when bigotry was a lot more overwhelming and LGBT equality had made less strides. But still it seems so weird that even if they think of this character as "a gay man who likes to crossdress" then they'd be portraying "him" as a joke when they'd had other positive gay characters before. And like its not even outright "eww trans women" or anythingits just like they draw her SO exaggerated when she shows her crush on Toya and then he's drawn all..comically disgusted? And everyone is all shocked? And it was really confusing for the first chapter before they had a character staye that she was DMAB cos seriousky it just looked like everyone being weird to this girl for no reason.

And then just.. THERE'S A REALLY WEIRD UNDERTONE HERE

Like i wondered why on earth Toya's crush on Yukito was played so understated and never allowed to be outright confirmed even though its clearly canon and they were able to show Syaoran having a crush on literally the same guy before.

But seriously its starting to become WEIRD in regards to that! Like Ruby Moon is telling Yukito "i'll steal him away if you dont want him" so hey yes confirmation that it IS fuckin canon and they JUST WONT SAY IT. and then they have this really weird dance around conversation where toya is all "ugh gasp you're a-" and like he's...uncomfortabke with her being "a man" (SHE'S NOT A MAN DAMMIT) and she's like "but yukito is also" [suspicious gap in dialogue] "and you" [suspicious gap in dialogue] "him". Its all fuckin weird how much theyre dancing around saying the word gay or even saying a man loves a man yet they SAID IT BEFORE FOR SYAORAN! And then the dancibg around LGBT terms was actually used kinda cleverly here cos it could also mean "yes i'm a clow card and yukito is also not human". And probably the writers could point to that as reasonable denial if anyone accused them of writing a trans woman, i guess...

And uhh.. Yeah.. I think i get why these two situations are considered "different" by the writers.there was just a whole fuckin chapter about Syaoran realizing that her REALLY loves sakura and he only mistook his feelings for a crush on another boy because something something sensing subconciously that yukito had magic in him. And now its presented as CHARACTER GROWTH that he gives up on yukito and goes and has a straight relationship instead. And at the same time in the same chapter Tomoyo also decides to give up on her crush on Sakura WITHOUT EVER EVEN TELLING HER OR TRYING TO SEE IF SHE FEELS THE SAME WAY because she just thinks sakura will be happier witj syaoran. And this is meant to be noble and again be character development. And then looking back we had that whole plot of tomoyo's mom having a crush on sakura's mom and it being played all comical?? And her accusing sakura's dad of being a cradle robber and horrid for LITERALLY FUCKING HIS UNDERAGE STUDENT AND SHE DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL TO MARRY HIM was again played for 'comedy' and she 'learns her lessonc that he's really a good guy and everything is fine.

So..yeah. It seems like a bit of an undercurrent of "gay crushes are a thing for children that you grow out of". Cos seriously the way they play the "comedy" on these older characters is like.. Infantalizing them? Tomoyo's mom is meant to be seen as immature and overreacting. And sakura's mom of course 'grew up' and got a 'real relationship'...

Or like i dunno maybe this was all an accidental implication caused by writers who just didnt realize what itd look like when they make EVERY SINGLE QUEER CHARACTER LOSE THE LOVE TRIANGLE and also refuse to actually confirm the one singular potential actually happy, healthy and recipricated gay pairing.

Also calling a trans woman a man and making everyone act grossed out by her expressing interest in her and making it all so confusing that even actual LGBT people dont really know what to make of it...

And then like there's also some bit where they say "oh well clow card guardians dont actually have gender", by which they mean "biological sex" cos i mean clearly they have genders! And why would "having no biological sex" give them ALL THE BODIES OF MEN??? Like seriously why would "cannot reproduce" mean "male by default"? Why would one of these "genderless" creatures make fun of one of the others for choosing to be female if none of them were born aligned to either of the human reproductive categories in the first place? Like its not "ha why are you being female, we dont have genders" its "why are you NOT BEING A MAN, we dont have genders". That makes no sense!! Also double wtf cos like 90% of all the clow cards look feminine and even half of the ones who don't still use female pronouns and get listed as female in the profiles. Like yes, all of them are drawn flat chested or with barbie doll anatomy but that doesnt make them "men by default"! And nobody's ever mentioned this before, we havent had kero-chan being all "ugh this is the DEVIANT Windy card that PRETENDS to be a girl" or anything. Seriously i cant get over the fact that its her straight up sibling guardian who's the one who makes fun of her for wearing a girls uniform. You are a goddamn talking panther!! What do you care about human cissexism!!

I dunno man the whole thing's got me a bit grumpled.

Also they continue dojng the damn nasty "romance" between a 35 year old teacher and a ten year old girl IN A MANGA AIMED AT TEN YEAR OLD GIRLS, and its presented all wholesome and life goalsy with no criticism whatsoever. Its been getting even creepier and it fuckin STARTED with him giving her a wedding ring! Now theyre really drawing attention to how young she is cos she sews a makeshift teddy bear for him and gives it to him as a good luck charm thatll make their love last. Gahhhhhh

[hogsteeth-archive]

alright then i answered one of them oc questions things for both versions of ira bc like. why wouldnt i. first answer is 1976 58y/o rhodesian ira, second answer is 201x 16y/o houstonian ira. i just wanted to figure out how different they really are. questions from here. if readmores still dont work on mobile im sorry lmao

what are some things they have strong opinions about?

he has sort of a cioranian attitude to the value of life, like, hes one of them “theres always reason to kill a man, theres no way to justify his living” types. he doesnt believe in nationalism per se but he does believe in war, hes literally a mercenary, and hed probably get along just fine with someone like mike hoare, but hes not one for unnecessary cruelty. hes kind to who he considers innocent. if he was alive today i can see him getting grouped w/ like, anti-natalists, right-wing “primitivists,” people who browse /fo/, people who think theyll thrive in the post-apocalypse even though they cant even spin yarn, people who dont understand fallout, you know, those types, but i like to think his attitude wrt civ is closer to perlmans or, well, mine. its a good thing he doesnt live in internet times. he thinks technology makes people complacent and weak and hes fallen into the trap of the “noble savage” myth; sign of the times. he could just as easily live off the grid in like, alberta, but he chose to stay in southern africa bc of his colonial attitudes & fetishization of the “less developed.” (sidenote, if youre like, new here n reading this for some reason, yea i write like really really bad characters were talking irredeemably evil here, just like, know that im aware of that.) also he detests hippies for both bad and good reasons ⸻ not much, really, hes an opportunist, a hedonist, hes selfish, goes w/ the flow. he thinks denying yourself pleasure for no reason is microfascism — not in those words — and while he doesnt think that selfishness leads to a bettering of overall society, hes no randian, he feels justified in what he does. hes uh, a mercenary in spirit and ive always intended to have him join the marines n later work for a pmc but were nowhere near there yet

what traits do they like in other people? what traits do they not like?

he likes people (men, that is) that are exactly like him. he likes Narrator bc hes just as quiet, as patient, as stubborn, as antisocial (using that the right way here, i like, know about psychology), as violent, as old-timey-ly masculine as he is. he can tolerate clade (his former accountant) bc she keeps to herself and shes loyal to a fault, but he doesnt go out of his way to like, actually talk to her. he likes will bc he reminds him of what he was like as a child living with his matabele mother. ⸻ he hates everything he perceives as weakness, but hes not all that open about that, i think hes not even 100% aware thats what it is. he needs to be talked back to. he lacks compassion, doesnt know how to deal w/ anyone whos less resilient and abrasive than himself.

do they have a significant other? if so, who?

i mean, theres Narrator — thats kinda what this whole thing is about. but theyll never think of each other that way. its complicated. theyre uh… closer to being marlow and kurtz than to being boyfriends. idk how to explain it. its bad. ⸻ hes fake-dating millah for appearances and secretly seeing jack, im not sure about the details either so im not getting into that, but hes eventually gonna meet will; ive written their first encounter like ten different ways and i still dont really know what i wanna do w/ them........ also Complicated

whats their friend group like? what role do they play (leader, mom friend, etc.)?

he lives in a hut he built w/ his bare hands on the edge of the kalahari. his friends are one horse and one vaalboskat. ⸻ he uses his friends but they use him too. hes reasonably popular bc hes athletic n wealthy, but i think the only one of his friends who really truly sees thru his act is millah, and bc he doesnt take her seriously as a threat, she has more control over him than he realizes.

do they care about their physical appearance? whats their routine like?

nah ⸻ not really. he showers too often and his hairs kinda dry but other than that hes like. Normal. idk i dont care about these things

do they have any physical or mental disabilities?

i dont think so ⸻ he has adhd

what would they die for? kill for?

oh hes not picky. he joined the military at 17, hes made peace w/ the prospect of dying. hes been more uncomfortable w/ the thought of growing old, actually. and again, hes literally a mercenary. not a big deal to him. ⸻ i dont think hes selfless enough to die for anyone. hed kill to protect the people he cares about, but thats more just bc hes possessive. im sure thats gonna come up eventually. i cant really write shit w/o weaving murder in somewhere.

do they have any magical powers or abilities? if its a realistic world, what religion do they follow?

absolutely the fuck not i hate magic. hes not religious, actually feels a little intimidated by religion. in one version of his story he spends his 50s on east nusa tenggara where he doesnt live far from a church, and he makes peace w/ the concept of god thanks to the influence of catholic-raised Narrator, but i doubt hell ever actually step foot into a church, or temple, or mosque, or what-have-you. hes internalized some things during his upbringing though that he doesnt classify as religious. little superstitions. he likes to keep objects that may be used for divination around his house, but he never touches them. ⸻ not religious, but if he had to pick, like to pretend, hed say baptist.

do they celebrate any holidays? how do they celebrate?

nah ⸻ like, the regular american ones. hell welcome any excuse to drink and to socialize, and id say his favorite holiday is the 4th of july, really just bc he likes warm weather and theres not a lot else you can celebrate in the middle of summer. hes not attached to the significance of any holidays. hes not crazy about christmas but he likes his family well enough and hell go along w/ it all, just to have sth to do. hes not good w/ time off.

if they were the protagonist in any book series, what series would they choose? alternatively: what would be their favorite book?

he doesnt really read but hed feel right at home inside heart of darkness or maybe the thin red line. or maybe sth by mccarthy ⸻ hes 16 he hasnt read jack shit. i wanna say deleuze would probably resonate w/ him bc hes a total self-insert but i really dont know. i try to keep the intertextuality way low bc i hate that shit in most fiction, so like, i try not to think too much about other books here

do they have any vices?

uh he drinks and he occasionally smokes opium but compared to most of my characters hes pretty okay wrt that ⸻ yea like… all of them. already said hes a hedonist make of that what u will

do they play any instruments?

nope ⸻ violin but he hasnt been practicing a lot lately

what would their favorite ride at an amusement park be?

hes never been to one ⸻ i feel like hed be into sth really lame… like you know that video by jenny nicholson, top ten lame things to do at disney world? sth like that. like hed go just to get a specific food item or to admire the infrastructure

what animal would they say best represents them?

hyena 100%. the spotted kind. id say tortoise also but hed find that insulting ⸻ id say hyena but hed be reluctant to answer that bc hes a Youth and he knows what a furry is

how do they act when theyre drunk?

vulnerable. little more talkative. he talks to himself (or the cat, rather) sometimes ⸻ more abrasive/tactless/impulsive. he talks w/ his whole body and feels like moving/running bc, again, self-insert

which era of history would they most like to live in?

the old west, like early to mid-19th century, maybe late 18th. that or like the really olden days, like mid-paleolithic ⸻ idk maybe like ten or twenty years earlier. i think he fits the 21st century pretty well. hes a curious person though and if he had a time machine hed go Everywhere at least once

whats their favorite food?

ah thats. complicated actually i have a whole list of foods that remind me of Narrator but ive never gotten around to making one for ira. hm. he likes poultry, like ostrich. white fish. dry/salty foods. sour fruit. breadfruit. fatty dark meats, blood sausage. hes not picky though, hell live on pap and water if he has to. ⸻ i genuinely dont know. im not used to the contemporary western setting yet like… pop tarts exist in the same world as he does and im not comfortable w/ that yet. like, branded food articles wrapped in plastic. thats so weird to me. i guess he likes (american) pizza w/ greens on it, like spinach? and seafood. sour candies, maybe, i dont think he has much of a sweet tooth. he puts salt n butter on potatoes and cottage cheese on pancakes.

what songs remind you of them?

conveniently theres a whole playlist rite here

whats their favorite season and why?

dry season. he doesnt like cloudy/foggy weather bc it makes him feel trapped when he cant see as far. ⸻ summer. i honest to god think people liking cold weather is a conspiracy like im not sure thats even biologically possible. like summer is the obvious answer here

which d&d class would they play as?

nah we dont do nerd shit round these parts

whats their favorite expletive?

he like, barely talks ⸻ nothin weird thats for sure, we campaign for simple straight-forward language in this house. having a Favorite is inherently at odds w/ that. bad question

whats their favorite candle scent?

no scented candles in the desert ⸻ sth fruity but not sweet, like mixed berries, sth red or purple

how do they feel about death?

he doesnt ⸻ hed feel cheated by life if he died young. he has a lot to see and do and itd like, bum him out not to get to do that but hes not afraid of death

do they collect anything? whats their most prized possession?

he lives pretty austerely but he does keep little rocks and gems and bones and pieces of wood n such. also coins from all the countries hes been to bc hes a simple old man. i wanna say his most prized possession is his hogs tooth bc he does value the marines a lot still. its where he first met Narrator :-) ⸻ he really appreciates gifts people give him, things that remind him of people. jack carved him an eagle once

do they play any sports?

no ⸻ nothing too organized. i dont think hes on any school teams bc idk if he has the time but that might change. he does run/hunt/fish/shoot

what one place do they really want to visit and why?

he likes deserts, wide open spaces. hes been to the kalahari n namib but not the gobi/sahara/simpson etc, so, those. no ice deserts though those scare him ⸻ polynesia/southeast asia, just tropical places in general. bc theyre nice what do you want me to tell you. tropics good

what languages do they speak?

northern ndebele, afrikaans, english (w/ various influences), some vietnamese ⸻ english, some cajun french, some spanish

what are some items they always carry? what weapon do they favor using if they exist in a world where weapons are necessary?

hes got his fal obviously and he does always carry a knife, just to be safe. more out of habit than actual necessity (not to imply rural areas were safe in the late 70s, but he lives in the literal wilderness, hes not much of a target. stays away from roads and all that.) ⸻ man hes really not as classy as i want him to be :/ he probably has like, a glock 17 w/ ten thousand pointless modifications n some uglyass stipling pattern. hes a little bit paranoid + irresponsible n carries all kinds of shit he doesnt need, mostly way too much cash

which emoji would they use the most?

no ⸻ he doesnt have a phone, hell maybe use a burner if he has to. this is an anti-phone household

what fantasy race would they be? if they already are one, pick a different one.

absolutely not

do they want to start a family? if they already have one, describe it.

no ⸻ no

what stereotypical high school clique would they fit into?

hed swing between the jrotc kids n the stoners honestly, but still mostly keep to himself ⸻ hes like, too much of a jock for the Delinquents, too much of a Delinquent for the jocks. hes really only popular bc hes rich-ish n blessed w/ good looks, and by association w/ millah

whats one thing that they dont need do they waste the most money on?

he doesnt ⸻ everything. hes really wasteful. he buys more food than he can eat, clothes he never wears, etc etc, hes terrible

what kind of shoes do they wear?

combat boots or just traditional sandals. the terrain around his house is mostly grass and flat boulders so he goes barefoot a lot ⸻ regular tennis shoes, nothin too fashionable bc he cant be bothered to keep up w/ trends, but usually clean n new. hiking boots when hes not w/ his regular friend group

do they believe in ghosts, aliens, and the occult in general?

really dont like how aliens are always grouped in w/ esoteric shit bc like, thats like asking if you believe in atoms honestly. no shit “aliens” exist thats like not up for debate. both iræ would agree w/ me here. 70s ira doesnt believe in like, Ghosts per se, but he has some vague concept of spirits that he got from his mother. he sees/feels them when hes half asleep. ⸻ 2010s ira doesnt believe in jack shit

which deadly sin do they most correspond to? which heavenly virtue?

nooo cardinal sins dont work that way theyre not hogwarts houses. its so much more complicated than that thats impossible

if you had to choose one tarot card to represent them, what would it be?

hmmm four of swords? knight of coins? eight of cups? this is hard ⸻ seven of swords? nine of cups? the devil? i dont know

what do they consider to be their best quality? what actually is their best quality?

his strength, which is really just his callousness and lack of convictions. and uh. i guess his independence ⸻ same here for the first part. and. maybe his loyalty? i dont consider loyalty a good thing personally idk

what do they consider to be their worst quality? what actually is their worst quality?

his lack of social skills maybe? he doesnt need them too often of course but like, the first time Narrator showed up at his doorstep he was genuinely nervous and that did fill him w/ some semblance of shame and in his eyes he should be good at everything, so like. that. really its his lack of conviction and his timidness/avoidance of the world ⸻ his dependence on others/lack of discipline. really its his lack of compassion, like, obviously

#ira #ricky pwease come online

[lebilliam]

111 questions with @imaginationisendless3

001: What is your biggest dream? uhhh. that depends on how you define dream. im gonna go ahead and say that the dream is to be able to wake up and go to the airport and just travel all around and come back home to the same old home at the end of the day

002: What is the bravest thing you've ever done? this q is quite a doozy. i really dont keep track of this kind of stuff

003: Is it hard for you to show your feelings? hell ye

004: What is your dream job? What was your dream job when you were little? when i was little i thought looking at space and being an astronaut would be really cool but now its just being able to travel

005: What is your favorite sound? mechanical keyboard clicking hands down

006: Would you rather be in front of the camera or behind it? wait this q seems familiar but im gonna say in front

007: What do you notice first when you meet a new person? (Both in real and on the internet): what kind of memes they like

008: Is there anybody you *fully* trust?: sure theres a list

009: Do you like / love someone? If yes, who?: there was this cute girl once but i never mustered the courage to really talk to her rip 

010: Have you ever received / sent hate? How do you deal with it?: i flame brian and logan all the time but i dont think that constitutes hate mail. tbh i dont recall an instance of being perturbed by excessive hate

011: What are you going to spend money on next?: food in martinique (or maybe some chacos here)

012: What are three things you never leave your house without?: phone, wallet, jacket

013: What is your favorite place?: ive had a lot of favorite places over the last few years but now that im being asked i cant recall any of them. all my favorite places have this one thing that i dont like about them and thats why i have so many

014: Do you sing and/or dance in front of people? nah not earnestly

015: Have you ever cheated on a test?: have YOU? i say i want to cheat on tests all the time bc itd be so easy but im just too lazy to enact a foolproof cheat strategy

016: What is your current desktop background?: last time it was a bunch of functional groups for Ochem, but now its specific reagents and pathways!

017: How would you describe yourself in 3 words? indecisive, unpredictable, decisive (i thnk)

018: What does make you happy?: honestly?? knowing im appreciated

019: What time were you born? uhh i dont know off the top of my head atm but i can check

020: Do you give second chances? Why? why the fuck NOT? well i say that but all the second chances ive given have been disappointments. trying to find someone to surprise me i guess? xd

021: Name your biggest turn ons and turn offs: serious turn offs are lacking empathy for the struggles of others (i say stop being poor ironically, but there are people who really dont get it which is scary to me). turn ons? Jacinda asked me this and my answer still hasnt changed-- the neck. i ALWAYS go for the jugular

022: When was the last time you hugged someone?: hmmmmm probably last month or so?

023: What is your favorite food? GOD dang it i know i say a lot of things are my favorite but now i cant think of anything. something im always down for is KFC though

024: Do you save money or spend it right away? FUCK i try to save it but money just has a way of leaving my hands

025: Do you have any tattoos? If yes, what are their meanings? If no, would you get any?: id love to get tattoos. sleeves and all those seem really neat but also i know im just rash with decisions like that sometimes

026: Name five things you find beautiful: ooo hair in sunlight, pure moments of unadulterated laughter, crafts that people work on, technology, and mechanical keyboards

027: What is your favorite clothing style? (Both in you and others): lately ive been joking about the CLOUT a lot with champion and supreme branded stuff but its ironic. tbh i like buttonups with nice colors.

028: How do you cheer yourself up? i slid into this girl’s dms with this very question and then i linked her a minecraft song parody so i guess minecraft song parodies and stupid things

029: Do you show affection in public?: i would IF I COULD

030: What is one thing you are looking forward to?: martinique, being refreshed enough to actually care about school bc this last semester was a shitshow

031: Have you ever been to other countries? If yes, where?: france, spain, italy, canada, (japan when i was uber young), vietnam, fircrest

032: What was the last lie you told and why? ill start on this at 2pm. i was still in bed at 2

033: Who are the people you can always turn to? mo, lo

034: Have you ever done drugs? If not, would you ever try them?: it sounds like itd be a cool experience but im also scared all of those horror stories where the drugs were laced with other stuff that turns you into a 4 year old

035: What is your favorite word? i think about the word obsequious a lot but i think my favorite word has to go to discord

036: Do you consider yourself a romantic? sure why not

037: What are 3 objects that are *very* important to you and why?: notes section in my phone ( i write a lot of my thoughts and weird dreams in there), my laptop ( i use it literally every single day), my dice ( bc dnd has been uber helpful to me and its a great pastime)  

038: Have you ever met someone famous? If so, who?: nope! not special

039: What would you like to change, mentally and physically, about yourself? id like to start working out but i say that all the time. id like to be more dedicated to school stuff but honestly its whatever. idk jsut trying to be more confident in myself and smiling more

040: Have you ever won a contest/competition? What for? i won a smash tournament once and i got fourth or third in another one but that was a long time ago

041: What is one illegal thing you would do if there were no consequences? steal, armed robbery. 

042: Who are your favorite fictional characters? borutos dad seems kind of cool, they should make an anime about him or something

043: Do you ever wish you were somebody else? yea i wish i was me but better

044: What is your favorite store to shop at? FUEGO and the runway fashion exchange and idk some other cool store but it doesnt come to mind

045: Do you want to have children one day? How many? How would you name them?: i think about it. having children would be cool but also NOT having kids would be cool

046: How do you cope with stress? How do you vent your anger? i say reee unironically but then it makes me feel better 

047: What do you want for your birthday? honestly? lots of money but idk a new set of dice would be nice ore maybe a new computer

048: Have you ever had an imaginary friend? yea probably

049: Have you ever said "I love you" even though you didn't mean it? in the times ive said it i feel like i have meant it but you can never be too sure

050: What is the best advice anyone has ever given you? starting to write down all your feelings and stuff that happens

051: Do you have any regrets? If yes, what do you regret the most? not taking the opportunity to go to high school/ college early / skipping grades / trying harder on admissions tests

052: Do you find tattoos and/or piercings attractive? theyre pretty neat imo i like them

053: Do you want to get married? What are your views on marriage? marriage is such an old concept but also it seems kind of cool

054: Who are you most comfortable around? tbh its been myself for the last few weeks 

055: What are you wearing right now? What do you wear to bed? i am wearing shorts. i try not to wear too much when i sleep bc i overheat but if i have someone else in bed with me ill wear a thin shirt and shorts

056: When is your birthday? feb 26!

057: What is love to you? love is being able to send memes to each other and being able to go from 2 blobs watching videos to a fancy date and 

058: Are you a jealous person? i can be jealous if i dont trust whatever is happening

059: Would you rather go to a party or stay at home? hmm tbh id probably party if my friends were there or if not id stay at home 

060: How many relationships have you had? quite a few

061: Are you a positive person? sure, i guess ;)

062: What kind of people do you feel attracted to? smart people who are smart but also dumb and cute

063: What is the longest time you've stayed awake? oooowee i think 21 hours or so?

064: Have you ever been told "I don't want to lose you"? yep! proceeded to then lose me!

065: What is your favorite genre when it comes to movies? action comedy

066: Do you collect anything? memories and dust and trinkets

067: In your opinion, what is your best quality? i can make you laugh

068: Have you ever changed for someone?yep! it happens and its sad but it happens

069: What is your idea of a perfect date? a date is the entire day, starting out with waking up next to the person, eating breakfast together, maybe do some errands / work out, netflix and chill, chill, go out for a nice dinner and night out, come back, netflix and chill, chill, go to bed.

070: Are you shy or outgoing? i would love to say im outgoing but idk!

071: In your opinion, what is the secret for a great relationship? surprises everywhere

072: Are you the kind of person who breaks rules? hm im sure i did at some point. maybe i still do?

073: Is it hard for you to trust people? yea it can get a lil hard

074: What does your dream house look like? fat front yard, lots of plants, lots of green grass

075: Do you feel attracted to people your age, younger or older? hmm im at the ripe age of 19 where options younger than me are a lil sketch. idk according to the historia older people have been quality

076: How much have you changed over the past year? a LOT boii

077: Longest friendship you've ever had? hmm about 6 or 7 or 8 years

078: Do you have pets? If not, what animal would you like to have? no pets, id love dogs

079: Are you left or right handed? ambidextrous

080: What talent do you wish you’d been born with? perfect pitch would help a lot with what i like to do

081: Where do you get motivation and inspiration? minecraft parody songs, also seeing professionals doing what they do

082: Do you know how to swim? If yes, when did you learn? yea, i learned when i was in bellingham and then i learned more when i was in kent

083: You are given one wish: What do you wish for? i wish for 100 million dollars with no inflation, no taxes, no debts, no one filing a lawsuit or slandering my name (this is all a part of getting the 100 mil. ive thought about getting money a lot)

084: Do you like to give / receive flowers? What is your favorite flower? i like giving flowers bc i feel like if i receive them,  i dont know what to do. its now ur problem if i get you flowers

085: Would you rather travel to a cold forest or a warm beach? warm beach if its not in the early morning when the sun rises, otherwise, forest

086: What is one thing you can't forgive, that can destroy a friendship or relationship beyond repair? if u kill me i dont think i could get over that

087: What is the last thing you purchased? corsair mouse

088: Have you ever broken someone's heart? Ever gotten your heart broken? yep and yep

089: Have you ever cheated on someone? Ever been cheated on? no and yes

090: Do you believe in soulmates? uhhh its possible. theres 8 billion people on this planet, what are the odds that soulmates DOnt exist

091: Is there anybody you would do absolutely *anything* for? If yes, who? hmmmm not anything, but id do a fair bit for my friends

092: Share three facts about your life.: i like to eat, make friends, and travel/experience other cultures

093: Do you believe in love at first sight? i do, but most of the time it isnt reciprocated ;p

094: Would you date someone who smokes / drinks / does drugs / has a mental illness? yea, i dont see why that would stop me from dating them

095: You are given 15 minutes of fame: What would you do? ask for money

096: How is your dream partner like? shes funny, makes me laugh, smells good, etc

097: Would you rather commit to one person or have several relationships? id rather have several relationships so i know exactly what im looking for in a person.

098: What are some of your hobbies? league, hearthstone, watching people play league and hearthstone, french, etc

099: What kind of person do you want to be? i want to be the cool old person when im old

100: What did you have for breakfast? i had some vietnamese cuisine

101: What is your Top 3 favorite shows? What was your Top 3 favorite shows when you were a kid? the office is something i enjoy, mythbusters, uh scooby doo? idk 

102: What are three places you *really* would like to visit one day? hmmm maybe the trevi fountain, il duomo, totally la sagrada familia 

103: What was your last meal? What was your last beverage? breakfast, water

104: Who is the last person you had a deep conversation with? hmm probably anastasia

105: What is one thing that made you smile today? thinking about martinique

106: Do you like taking photos? If yes, what do you photograph the most?i love taking photos, but i never have subjects so i dont really take photos too often

107: Has anyone ever written a poem or a song dedicated to you? Have you? FHCk man i wish. wait there was a 100 things i like about you and i think about it all the time. i actually have written poems and stuff but tis been a  long time and i dont think my creative juices are back from that yet (but trust me, it was straight fire)

108: Do you remember your dreams? If yes, what was the last dream you remember about?: i remember almost all of my dreams because i always tell someone about them and idk talking helps me remember things 

109: If you could go back in the past, would you change anything? If yes, what? i would start learning things so much earlier and stick with theme

110: If you were given 3 million dollars, what would you do with them? invest 2 mill in the bank, get that monthly interest coming back in the mail, use that mill to pay off all my and my friends debts, live life the way i wished i could when i was little

111: What are a few facts about you that not many people know of? i like learning languages but its not profitable in this day and age i feel

'111 Questions': by Ira V. Simon (priveting)

[commiemoth]

mm every ask on the happy ask list :> Go

Oaky!! :3

sunflower: if there was a city that was most leik me i think itd be maybe irithyll from dark souls 3? Its not real but leik, its cold and full of knights and thats Me As Hell, and id want to go through the door but everything in the city would kill me so :/

Pink: sunsets!! Im not a morning person but i also romanticize dusk and sunsetting a lot

Freshly cut grass: im definitely not a morning person, leik ya cuz i stay up late but also i think because night fits me better

Journal: hell yeah id dye my hair!!!! Id want to die a strip of it blond or maybe the whole thing jeans gray-blue or jeans gray-purple! ,,, my jair

Painting: im creative in ways leik making music but also i think up really complex fleshed out worlds all the time and think up all the characters (and then i never write any down and i forget) and also i think a lot about stuff? Idk :P

Waves: the music i cant listen to is like modern country because a lot of the themes in it dont jive well with me, or any music that talks about stealing/winning over someone’s significant other because it makes me paranoid and awful, also some modern edm music i cant listen to because its either annoying, bad music from a person that used to make gud music (subjectively), or the songs premise is a shitty triggered joke

Writing: i never write letters because texting is a thing, but id love to write letters as long as they arent to adults or anyone because i romanticized letter writing a lot :/ if i really had a choice tho id rather spend time with someone most of the time than texting or writing to them

Waterfalls: o boy here we go!! >:3c my ideal date would start in bed at night (not in a weird way) and my significant other and i are cuddling and just in general being close to on another and i would be able to see the stars’ reflection off of their eyes, then in the morning one of us gets up and makes hot chocolate for the other, then we both get ready in warm wintery clothes leik fluffy boots, sweaters, sharing a scarf,, then we go on a walk outside in the snow and just take it all in while we hold hands and talk, then we go to either a museum where we look at all the cool bugs and exhibits or a movie that really resonates with both of us idk wat that would be, afterwards we go to dowtown frederick and shop around a bit, then we stop for dinner at a place that has sushi and kimchi noodles and is a dinner date, then we walk home as its snowing and share a kiss in the snow before going inside, then lay on the roof and watch the sun set, and then once its dark we go inside and lay in bed and fall asleep in eachothers arms

Jdjdjd thats a lot but honestly anytime i spend time with them is the best time so any date we have is guaranteed to be the best :3

Freckles: first thing in my mind that makes me happy? Ollie ollie ollie!!! Other than that maybe experiencing beautiful things leik (ollie), castles, forests, mountains, snow falling, sun sets and dusk or twilight, valleys and plains,,, that would be cool

Dimples: id rather be invited on a night out! Idk wat people on those but if i go hiking and physical exercise of basically any kind i would die :l

Blushing: the raddest person i know is ollie! They are shorter than me by a little bit but tall at heart if that makes sense, they have the fluffiest curly brown hair, they are strong and caring and kind, their eyes radiate an infectious happiness that ive never seen in anyone else, theyre features are defined but also soft and inviting looking, they act more confidently than me and are in general happy and easy to talk to, in terms of looks they are the epitome of softgoth and are visually striking (you see them and are leik “oh dam”) they are the best person i know and the way they are makes me feel safe and comfortable whenever im around them; leik im at home for the first time ever

Thats really sappy i uhhhhhhhhh am gay :/

Watercolour: anything at all really but when they infodump about the story theyre working on (or anything else) its so gud :,) or when they are really concentrated on something leik drawing!

Pink: if i could smell one smell for the rest of my life it would be the smell of hot chocolate on christmas eve morning as im waking up and playing destiny in 2016 , im dont think it want to smell it forever tho because its gud because it doesnt happen that often

Icy: homemade is nice but i suck at it so takeout!! Also you dont have to clean much for takeout

Rosè: im Shy! As! Hell! I love it honestly because i feel leik being shy is really cute? And it works well too because my significant other isnt shy!

Cloud: Novo Amor- Anchor : this makes me feel soft and warm like im being hugged slowlyBucky- Brighton (or any of the songs off his new ep) : makes me feel so so sad and calm leik melancholyLorn- Never Enough : this song makes me feel fuckin badass and is gud to jam toSYKES- Glimmer (diamond eyes remix) : this song makes me feel dancey and happy and in love!!!The Upbeats- A Place For You : this song makes me feel a whole lot emotion, probably gud hard to pinpoint, when the lady singing goes ooooOooO^^ooooooooo it gives me chills

Silk:Lorn- Never EnoughGalantis- Harder Faster BetterNero- Two MindsKrewella- Ring Of FireMadeon&Passion Pit- Pay No Mind

White sheets: i want to visit every planet in the solar system!! (Pluto to!!) i think it would be so cool to visit places so different from earth and also having different views of the stars would be cool (i wish i could be a space traveler)! Since thats probably really unrealistic ive always wanted to visit japan and see the mountains and nature and go to museums and learn about samurai, or id leik to visit somewhere with lots of castles and knights!

Black nail polish: i dont often pamper myself but id say either going to the zi pani and getting a blt on plain bagel with no tomato because its nostalgic and feels nice or, dressing in my favortie clothes my doctor who jacket and doctor who socks because theyre so comfy and make me feel better! Also hot chocolate!

Hidden beaches: i prefer to hang out one on one definitely! But sometimes a group makes it easier because it takes the pressure of off me specifically

Crossed fingers: my hair is brown, used to be black, is straight (as opposed to curly), people say its soft sometimes, swooped to the side currently, and trying to be longer in the future!

Mocktails: cold weather cold weather cold weather!! Im a soft coldboy and this is my natural habitat, cold weather almost always looks nicer/more aesthetic in my opinion and also gives me an excuse to stay inside, warm weather (not hot tho) makes me warm inside tho and helps prevent depression a little bit so its gud but i still prefer cold

Thanks for askin!! :3

#ollie #asks #second ask ive ever gotten woah!

[ghiblicottage]

see for me it's weird like, i like porn (i'm trying to stop for religious purposes), but i don't feel sexual attraction to people?? ever?? how do those two things integrate??? am i demi?? idk man idk it's confusing

dude same like ive been in this cycle of “wtf am i” for months/years now and i still have nothing figured out its exhausting

oh man this is gonna be long ill just go on a rant of all thats been going on on my mind for all this time lmao this is way too personal but whatever if not here where am i gonna share any of this … so all my rambling under the cut for anyone curious about my experience with being ace (probably, idek tbh)

i just? don’t feel things toward people ? but sex & love are okay/appealing to me? but also how the fuck should i know if i like it ive never tested it

and theres this constant pressure of telling wether you like males or females and u like? both? neither? idk ?? i just dont feel any different toward them? can’t tell wether its because im attracted to both or none? i can tell wether people are pretty, gorgeous, pleasing to look at even hot? but? boobs, penis, butts, pussy all that shit is just the same for me i can look at them i get this big nothing inside me … 

when i talk to my friends about it, okay im not blunt about it i try not to sound weird cause the real word is Judgy lmao but like id go “so like what’s sexual attraction for you?” and then theyd tell me “idk it feels kinda hot down there and shit when you look at someone hot” and yep none of that for me but then for the big Straights™ they are it’s obviously because im closeted gay or im just weird and prude you know, and on tumblr where the Gays are more vocal and share their experience i just cant relate either? so i just end up feeling like i fit in nowhere you know

kinda why itd be nice to have more asexual characters in popular media cause honestly im not here to explain over and over what it means to people who will only think that it makes you weird like yeah no thank you, so id like to be able to go like “you know that famous character ? yeah im like that too” and be done with it

ive come to define being ace as the opposite of bi, like we feel the same toward anyone as straight people feel toward the same gender and gay people feel toward the opposite one, if that makes any sense

but where do you go from there? sometimes ill get these fantasies about being in love and being in a relationship and being loved by someone and id be craving physical affection and hugs and just not feeling this void inside me but then i get confused as to wether or not i would be able to reciprocate any of that affection and if yes with who then? like what can i promise if i get in a relationship? are my feelings gonna be as deep as yours or is it just on the surface, if you wanna get physical how far am i gonna be able to go? i just got this endless list of questions going on and on and on its… exhausting

things like porn and smut, i think i like it but its more of a way to visualize things i dont know of i guess rather than something deeply exciting to me… im guessing people who really feel sexual attraction like it more, seeing all those naked people and stuff idk … like just when my brothers talk about “boobs” (okay theyre like 14 and 17 so not quite the reference but whatever) or when my friend talk about guys they find hot, i mean i can see that it’s sexual attraction they’re talking about and im just here yeah those are big stacks of meat but whatever you do you i guess

and when it comes to “love” i know that i want it you know i havent been fantasizing and getting all these butterflies over my ships since i was 10 for nothing, i crave this deep emotional connection, but also i cant seem to be able to feel it for anyone ? the closest ive gotten to a crush was when i was 14 and this guy said he genuinely liked me, as in liked my personality (because i got quite a few guys asking me out just for my looks who had never even talked to me and it always made me incredibly uncomfortable), and i got butterflies about it for like a day and a half lol but then it went away pretty quickly anyway and turned out he had a crush on my best friend which honestly didn’t even disappoint me… i think i just liked the idea of someone liking me for who i am you know. and i dont think ive ever felt anything like that for anyone since then so …  i also have never fell for my girl friends which i heard is a thing commonly experienced by lesbians

and here comes the confusing part, because if im gonna watch porn id rather watch lesbian porn, het porn makes me uncomfortable more than anything its like always about the male gaze, male pleasure idk, and i know lesbian porn is pretty much always about the male gaze too unfortunately but at least it shows female pleasure you know… and also i feel like girls smile more in lesbian porn which i like better but im not an expert lmao, and AT BEST id rather watch a good movie sex scene where ive been able to watch the people fall for each other first like in the handmaiden for exemple. But when it comes to fic/smut fic (and general shipping) i think i only ever read m/f ones, i think the idea of a guy falling in love with a girl is a thing i really love cause forgive me but irl guys dont seem capable of any emotions… SO what does that mean ?? wtf am i?? i dont fucking know smh

basically i guess all i can say is im on the ace spectrum and everything is confusing af, and im completely oversharing so feel free to ignore lmao but i thought maybe some confused ace over there might like to read about someone who has somewhat of a similar experience idk, id like that i guess, it’s kind of hard to find a place to fit in anywhere so its nice to feel a sense of belonging like we’re not alone or broken and all that

i hope i havent been too disrespectful or anything, also i kind of dont really like watching porn and, i mean its not like im a big consumer of it anyway, but im thinking of stopping too because this industry is incredibly hurtful to women and i think its good that you are trying to stop! 

anyhow im embarrassed now lmao i cant believe im sharing all that but whatever here we go

#anon #asks #ace tag #i'm so here for people sharing there ace experience in my ask box #im completely over sharing lmao #if anyone feels like psychoanalysing me go ahead lol #please though dont send me hateful stuff cause i got bad anxiety about those #also ive always wondered if maybe those lack of feelings are realted to symptoms of depressions idk #Okay i need to stop #im gonna hide in the corner now goodbye

[kyokyo866]

Yo! This is the Tea and I would first like to thank you for your Youtube channel and your stories. I probably wouldn't have gotten interested in writing if it wasn't for you.

This au is called The Mansion of Night. This au originally started as a random fanfiction/game idea where I wanted a similar goal and setting to Hentaoni. I found my inspiration from a lot of places. Like one of the races I put in this world spawned from dreamtalia (Not the same race as Reve, which I never knew at the time). I love thinking about it and developing it, and yet I barely have a muse to write it. This au has been in reworks since April of last year. I’m proud of the culture, relationships, climates, and drama. The only thing I’m having a hard time dealing with is the money and Wing(Kingdom-ish) relationships.

The mansion of Night is a closed off, large mansion with a main building and four other wings. It’s suspended in a weird void dimension which none of the characters will ever know in their lifetimes. Since the mansion is closed off in some other world, people have to get into it somehow. There are only four requirements to get into the mansion: They have to be asleep, they had to of been scared of something at the time of sleeping, the void dimension has to closely pass by their dimension, and there needs to be a blank room available. Who it takes is random because people get scared all the time. Elaborating on the rooms, there are three kinds: Blank, Damaged, and Marked. Blanks are working rooms. Basically, important things other than people can spawn from these rooms. Food is the most common item to spawn, but it normally comes down to one kind. Getting a variety of things from one room is rare. Then there are Damaged rooms which loses their blank room abilities. They’re generally useless since most of them have missing or heavily damaged doors. These rooms are fixed by installing a new door when they come around. Lastly are the marked rooms. These rooms are inhabited by the people that live there. The doors are damaged, but not to the heavy extent of a damaged door. At most it has a deep caving, which is a group’s emblem. Group emblems are a way of distinguishing groups/packs and clans. They’re like family units.

When a person spawns in a room they’re forcibly turned into one of four races. Whether you were originally a dog, god, or human being, it doesn't matter. First, I want to be extremely brief. There are only vampires, werewolves, humans, and demons. They all have a place in this food chain. Vampires are meant to keep populations in check, werewolves are supposed to eat the corpses, humans are supposed to be like livestock, and the demons are supposed to keep people from going mad. But of course, people are still people and eventually they start doing more than intended. The new people who come into the world often come from different eras with different technology. When the resources are around they could show off an invention or make life easier. Over time people start identifying themselves as being apart of a Wing or the Main Building. A Wing has come to be a sort of identity to most people. Wings A and C accept this view while B would rather identify as their own groups/packs. Wing D only has a few stubborn people living there, mostly self exiled due to law and such. The Main Building has a similar view to B in a more controlled manner. I’ll also keep the relationships brief. Wing A and C are neutral, but are competing for Wing D. They’re also in agreement on vampire stuff which keeps them neutral. Wing A and the Main Building are friends in a sense as they trade freely. Wing C is an isolated little shit that want’s people to stay away. Wing B also wants people to go away, but only because it’s going through it’s own power crisis. The Main Building gives no shits as long as they have their Libraries.

The next things I want to go over is whether and how money works. The year is separated by three different seasons: Summer, Winter, and Transition. There’s a Transition between Summer and Winter and vice versa. A year in this world is the equivalent of two years in our own. Each season is about 180 days. The weather mostly manifests as fog, wind storms, and temperature snaps. Most weather is predictable at specific times of the year, like the intense temperature snaps of the Winter and Summer. The least predictable are the wind storms. The Summers tend to be humid at most. The same can’t be said for the Winter. To combat the sub zero temperatures of Winter, I did a weird thing with the currency. The money is a heat and magic source. I’m overly proud of this creation. Magic wise it’s required to use magic. For the Winter, it’s like a lifeline. They’re small crystals of either yellow, blue, green, or purple. The most abundant crystals are blue and in second place green. Rubbing two of the same color will make a colored fire that makes warmth. People who make their own magic are the only ones that can hold lit crystals. Due to their small size people have to collect a ton for the cold snaps. People in the wings use crystals for cooking, magic, and weapons. During Harmn’s stay there is a near  shortage of crystals. The largest crystal deposits are deep within Wing D. Since there’s a monster killing people in there the wings can’t mine enough to support everyone. It also leads to one of the struggles of Wing A and C.

Lastly, I have to talk about the main characters of this au. When I started out I wanted to do things a little differently. I wanted the original group characters to come from their own unique universes. I have only recently gotten to their personalities and pasts. They’re developed enough to serve their purposes as intended. I’m going to keep explanations quick. Harmn starts out with the nickname Prussia and is the main protagonist. Japan is the antagonist that starts as a friend that slowly becomes paranoid. Canada is a whiny king that has to get used to things. Ludwig is a very unhappy character due to his recent marriage problems. Romano came out of a world of sickness. Feliciano is a teenager with lying issues. Francis came from a world where he’s just bored and lonely. Russia comes from a very warm world. Britain comes from a fantasy world where he belongs to a race of immortal seers. And then there’s Antonio who’s just trying to keep his anger issues in check. Many of these main characters are supporting main characters that meet at the start of this au story I have. I have more characters, but I don’t want to list them in this. This au does include oc’s that have an effect on the protagonist and antagonist. I have only one main storyline for this au which leads to the Harmn I rp with.

I would love to hear your ideas if this appeals to you. Please, nitpick the shit out of it. I have no one to talk to about this and harsh constructive criticism sounds welcoming. I want to make it better and have someone to bounce ideas with. If you want more information, like my main story line or characters, I’m happy to talk. You don’t have to do that, but I’m glad to get this off my chest. Have a good day Kyo.

*really hard slow blink. tents fingers*

goodness gracious

*taps fingers*

aight lemme ask you a couple questions to think of.

first off, why is there a mansion there in a void, was it put there, was it original human, or was it just kinda.. built. and is it a mansion or a manor. How is there weather if its a manor, or is it inside the mansion unless theres a reason to go outside? theres been no indication theres anything outside of this mansion so are they just there. 

second, whats the purpose? Like yes you told us characters and such but there’s not really much reason for us to care? Or seem fitting for the Hetalia universe at that? Like when you mentioned dragging in people from other eras I figured the oh yea okay theyre immortal so they can be dragged in from different moments in time, but then its brought up that a good chunk are from other worlds, period?? that seems kinda off. And Im guessing since you mentioned it was based on hetaoni that the goal is just escape from this void. But especially of there is no one home for any of them itd just be more of harmns story to gtfo id reckon so theyre not used as livestock but eh.

third, is a lot of the details necessary? I read this alongside dig and lubo and constantly we had to go back and reread a lot of it because we were just so confused. Like yea its sectioned off pieces with different creatures and the sectioned off pieces dont like each other and blahblah but.. is the extra details needed?? I mean i get it its an involved world but just a lot of the added details here and there, at least for us, seemed a little much and we got confused by it and it got to the ‘okay i guess there’s this now’

forth and thisll be the last question i leave you with, why should we care? Of like, a lot of the time our reaction was ‘okay thats a thing i guess’ like i meantioned in the last paragraph but we felt no pressing need to know about these characters or their plights, or wanting to know more about how these details worked despite it being spelled out for us. Our overall reaction was “okay then.” and even when there is hetalia characters they seem so far removed from their original characters (even if theyre intended to be 2ps like how harmn is) that we dont really have any relatable feelings or anything to them. It doesn’t feel like a hetalia project, that if you just changed the names of all the characters itd look like its own thing. So what makes it fully connect to the Hetalia universe, and why should we even care about them?

Thats about what i can think of on the top of my head. As before, if anyone has anything to add feel free to

#kyo the au checker #corridorsoftheraven #submission #kyo answers