#im grieving already

[skoulsons]

daily reminder how much yours truly is going to violently shake and sob at 2am while watching this and hearing whatever bullshit score gustavos created this time to absolutely rip my heart strings out fiber by fiber while I watch Joel close his eyes while hugging her as she cries into his chest and wraps her arms around his neck

and how I will be completely inconsolable watching them make camp and try to help with each others pains while ignoring their own

And how I will shut my laptop and stare at my wall breathlessly while tears dry on my face because I won’t even have the strength to wipe them away after watching Ellie grab his hand while she thinks he’s dying and he grab hers when they’re approached by Jackson’s men but he thinks it’s danger and so he does it instinctively to protect her

im COOL

#im not cool #im grieving already #we have .5 second shots of these scenes #but in reality they’re gonna be minutes long #and my tears will just get worse and I will start hyperventilating the longer they go on for #the last of us hbo #joel miller #ellie williams

[gods-little-meow-meow]

honestly i dont think people give wolf 359 enough credit for being one of the best tragedies ever written. Like the tone of the podcast remains a comedy but just under the surface is the horrifying reality that none of thease characters are ever going to be ok again, sure some of the characters survived, but they return to earth entirely diffrent people, there is no recovering from that, theyve lost everything. what is waiting for them back on earth? what, in the end was their reward?

#wolf 359 #hey im feeling emotions again sorrt #all of the survivors lost fucking everything #what Is waiting for them back at earth? friends and family who grieved for them already? #none of them really won in this case. they never truly left the hephestus. part of them died up there with the others #w359 #kiwi relistens

[bangtanjjks]

I have this irrational fear that the only reason why Lucien is so good as a character is because Sarah leaves him alone. Because I saw what happened with her male leads (Tamlin, Rhys, Cass) and how they went from characters with a lot of potential (ACOTAR Tam and Rhys, ACOWAR Cass, I am a firm believer that ACOWAR Cass would sucker punch ACOSF Cass for his appalling behavior towards Nes) to the hot mess we have now.

I am scared shitless that the reason why my baby Luci is so good is by accident. That because Sarah didn't focus on him since he's not the main "love interest" is precisely why HE'S SO GOOD AS A CHARACTER. And that's why I'm kinda dreading the next book (if it's really going to be about Elain because that means Lucien is bound to be showing up a lot in it no matter what she chose to do with the mating bond).

God pls protect my man Lucien Vanserra. Sarah have a track record of ruining her own male lead (for me!!! They're kinda ruined for me) and I can't have that happening again. THRICE IS ENOUGH HEARTBREAK FOR ME

#sjm critical #rhysand #lucien vanserra #tamlin #seriously this have been in my mind since 2019 after i finish acosf #i NOTICED THE PATTERN #ANYTIME SHE LASER FOCUSED ON THE ML HE GOT RUINED FOR ME #sarah. it's bad when your side characters are more interesting than your MC #y'all maybe we should do a prayer circle #rip. im already grieving for my man #THE BEST MAN PRYTHIAN HAS TO OFFER #acotar #acowar #acosf #a court of thorns and roses #a court of wings and ruin #a court of silver flames #acowhattt #cassian

[u5an5]

Theory: The Clone X was not Cody like some people think or even Fives (I know he's been dead for a very long time but so was Boba Fett and look where we are. Plus, Echo was supposed to be certainly dead too; making him Winter Soldier-esque storyline wouldn't be that surprising) or not even Slick.

((Also, now that we've seen his face devoid of any tattoos or scars I think first two takes are definitely not applicable anymore; they wouldn't put that much effort to make him unrecognizable))

Back to the point: In my opinion, The Clone X was none other than...

Fox.

Now let me explain.

Who else, other than X, was loyal to the law and justice dictated by it over any moral or ethic code?

Fox.

Who else was portrayed with such single-minded focus on hunting down traitors of the government he served, regardless of what it was?

Fox.

Who else could know not only Coruscant so well but also identify Rex like they knew each other?

He already was a remarkably successful tracker of traitors, why not make him more efficient by pointing them out for him?

Good soldiers follow orders, after all.

#clone assassin #commander fox #star wars tbb #i know that hes got killed really early after Order in comics but i would honestly prefer him to die this way #the bad batch spoilers #commander cody #arc trooper fives #tcw slick #cc 1010 #star wars #sw tbb #sw the bad batch #the bad batch season 3 #tbb theory #we dont even know for sure how he looks like cause in one moment we see corries without helmets all of them have standard paintjob #idk if its just animation error but because of it we cant be 100% sure fox ever regreted it without him being shown grieving with rest #hes just taking a breath when fives is dying and personaly i see it more as him rolling his eyes that rex is being mushy with traitor #but there are 3 clones behind fox when hes shown and then the one taking off his helmet stands beside 2 others so it may actualy be it??? #and if he DOES regret it imo is more in 'shame i had to do it' rather than 'shame i did it' way if you know what i mean #hes just doing his job and hes GOOD at it. not his fault that him being competent is bad for the good guys #my point is: outside of one page incomic that can be at any point made noncanon or recontextualized theres no evidence that it cant be him #they already retconed more important things. why not this? #i think its likely that in case im right we can assume that all named corries were made into CloneX #none of them appeared yet despite how much of action happens on coruscant #and only thorn died on screen; in a way preventing him from being viable option nonetheless #three hits point blank months before Order seem unlikely but theyve done weirder things so him returning wouldnt be THAT weird so uhh idk #but yeah cx-02 is tech #winter soldiering doesnt stop #i mean THIS could be fox/other corrie but it being tech is way too cliche oportunity to waste it on them (derogatory towards disney) #pls disney let corries hunt down traitors like they used to pls

[quietwingsinthesky]

“least favorite” isn’t anywhere close to bad. it just shows how damn hard the competition is going, but we’re talking about gold medals all around for each actor i’ve seen portray the doctor so far.

#and again on acting alone. i think i might prefer him over tennant in the long run. #which isnt saying tenannt is bad either its saying like. i just love them both but i love what smith brings to the table just slightly more. #i dont really put the war doctor on my rankings very seriously because he only had the one rpisode. and it was. a bad episode. #but his performance endeared me enough to him eith his haunted eyes and the weight he’s carrying that i would. possibly with a bias. #put him between ten and eleven. #and then first place depends on the day but i think twelve has pulled ahead of nine just barely. like damn. capaldi Gets It man. eccleston #also Got It in similar ways but obviously his shorter tenure did give him less tjme to show it off and twelve’s gotten three seasons to show #just how fantastically capaldi pulls together this grieving weirdo. this man who loves so hard it burns him up. who is so scared of his own #goodness and losing it. he’s so good guys. #god i cant wait to see where jodie falls on this list im really excited for her take. and mr gatwa too. #and the classic who guys obviously. i mean i already like the guy they get to play One in the audios and im really curious how he measures #up against hartnell(?)’s original performance #i know the vibes will be very different than those of nuwho but im excited :)

[toxooz]

ever since that one ask i keep thinking abt Jakkans timeline with the whole 'Ollie's demonic genetics cause him to age super slowly and outlive everyone else' so hes like 1000 years old but only looks like he's in his mid 40s but hes also like a half cyborg at this point

#like his big horn on his head partly if not entirely replaced by a futuristic tron legacy-esque horn IM #his tusks replaced with ✨futuristic✨ tusks #a theory is the older ollie gets the longer it takes to physically age thats why he aged pretty quickly currently but his aging process get #slower as the decades go on #also maybe instead of a regular skateboard hes into hoverboards perhaps???? or something inbetween #IM NOT DONE him having a semi sentient hologram of kari like some sort of bladerunner 2049 shit #AND oh lord if i do solidify the idea that they bring back Ponti from the dead and when him and Jakkan are on A Quest to 'send ponti back' #nd ponti and ollie accidentally stumble upon eachother like the wave of shock and grieve in ollies face oOUUUGHHH #him being blown back into memories of way back then (now) by the sight of ponti he would be sO SHOOKETH #scraping my claws on the walls i need to draw it already but im so busy drawing wise and i wanna start the next comic section PRONTO NOOO #im at least putting it in my evergrowing list bc i have A Vision #jakkan

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#thinking about death again bc my dad texted an update on my mum #apparently she got a blood transfusion and threw up. thrilling stuff. but it just nudges at my head #bc it just makes me think. when shes gone its going to leave a trace. the outline of a person #i dont kno why i find that so upsetting. i just think about all the half completed scrapbooks that will whither away in my sisters old room #and it makes me cry. shell leave behind her incomplete scrapbooks. half tumbled rocks. containers of sea glass and lucky stones. digital #conversation thatll never be responded to. shoes and clothes #and memories. evidence of of a life no longer there to live it #and it just makes me sad i guess. i dunno. theres something sad about a project that will never be finished #a project doomed to be forgotten because it was only ever in the care of one person #but thats how it goes. what is is. nothing to be done about it but feel that sadness #i dunno. my head is full of static and frustration for unrelated reasons #but death pokes at my head during the day and i lose my already unsteady focus in an effort not to cry #im tired and sad and wishing my medication was working better #shes not even dead yet. im pulling a roman r0y and pre grieving. except for reals #unrelated

[grimfantas]

you can call me heartless all you'd like, but it won't bring her back and it won't help you heal.

#tails the fox #shadow the hedgehog #sonic x #based on a roleplay I had with my partner. who writes an extremely incredible shadow #I write my thoughts here because Sonic X ending has me terribly fucked up #considering how young tails is to be suffering from grief I bet it's especially difficult to handle a kid who has no clue how to process it #who had to make an extremely unfair choice to kill someone he loves. and then to take it out on his big brother #Taking out his anger and insisting on blaming someone for cosmo's death... it's very heartbreaking. #Imagining if Shadow had come back and Tails had not finished grieving yet. there already soooo much anguish #Exploring grief in art is very very fun but there is something so gutwrenching imagining someone so young have to figure out how to deal #with that. younger people often acting out and not realizing how unfair they are until time has passed and not understanding #multi faceted perspectives etc. I know its a bit odd to go crazy about osmething like this over Sonic X but something about Cosmo and Tails #just hit very hard and I care about them very much. tails is huge favorite. i care about him so much #I probably shouldn't dwell on the sad parts of sonic x too much but that last scene tails has with sonic stuck hard #Can't imagine how strained it might feels for the next few months. and Sonic just takes it. Can't even look at Tails or answer him. HMMMM #anyways im done being chatty in tags I will delete my thoughts later as per usual. hehe. Sorry <3 #sonic

[whynotimtired]

I THINK I FUCKING CRACKED IT WHEN THEY THOUGHT WILL WAS JUST GOING THROUGH PTSD AND HIS MIND WAS MAKING UP BEING IN THE UPSIDE DOWN FOR HIS "EPISODES" MIKE THOUGHT THAT WHEN HE SAW OR HEARD EL IT WAS JUST THAT. AN EPISODE. HE THOUGHT IT WAS PTSD CAUSE WILL WAS GOING THROUGH THE SAME FUCKING THING

#AND THEY WERE BOTH REAL #CRAZY FUCKING TOGETHER YOU GUYS #i know this is normie shit i know we already know this but i feel like im having a revelation #mike thought she was dead. but he couldnt completely give up hope cause he did that once and will ended up being alive. #he doesnt want to cement her death in his head cause then what if she comes back. but he thought it. he still grieved. she WAS dead to him #'shes gone. just like they took bob.' bob having been murdered like 20 minutes ago #'i never gave up on you' i tried so hard not to give up on you. not like last time. #DAMN #mike wheeler #stranger things #el hopper #elmike #will byers #byler #byeler

[chessb0r3d]

I lost my best friend because they were afraid of falling in love with me. (GRIEVING)

#THERE HAS ALWAYS BEEN LOVE THE WHOLE TIME #BUT.. BUT THEYR VIEW OF LOVE IS DIFFERENT #its already 9pm dont think about lifw curfew BUT IM GRIEVING AND G #GRIEVING AND GRIEVING AND GRIEVING AND #okay to reblog #aughhh #what ever

[sheilaerinniperonista]

it was a small passing comment in the story but when its mentioned Sheila saw her dog get beaten to death when she was a kid and it made her feel like humankind was just like that (+ her sister's murder afterwards cementing that worldview)... augh.

#fugo.txt #like. idk i feel like im repeating myself but i cant stress this shit enough man. she was just a little girl #she was like 10 #damn. #and like by that point she had already very much gone thru a lot of death. her parents were gone and the only family she had was her sister #and the only friend she had was her dog. #and then they both died. and she saw them die. right after the other. and then she was completely alone #idk looking at it thru that lense its not surprising at all that she decided to do all that. she was grieving and she didn't have anyone- #-to guide her in that. and the only logical progression she could fathom is that whoever killed her sister should suffer the same. #and deep down she knows she's doing this for herself because she doesn't KNOW what else to do. and she feels guilty. what would clara even- #think of her? and even if she's all oh illuso is dead and he suffered. so she can rest easy. you can SEE she never got any closure at all. #thats why she froze up when fighting against kocaqi. his sister also died right in front of him. but he did what she couldnt do #he gave her peace of mind. he gave her a dignified death. she died happy. clara didnt. and sheila can NEVER give that to her #all she can do is posthumously give her peace by murdering her murderer. but would Clara want that? #ugh man. its 2:30 am i should be sleeping i have a class to retake at 11:50 #but. man.. #please take the time to think of her tjis december

[quixoticanarchy]

a little thought about rían daughter of belegund: she never knows her father’s end for certain. she doesn’t get to bear witness and she doesn’t get closure. word must get out eventually, once beren’s story is known, but she’ll never know the details, and for years she must just wonder what’s become of what she left behind

and then when huor doesn’t return, rían follows. she crosses incredibly hostile territory alone, very young, just to find the mound of bodies where huor lies and lay herself down there. she’s not pursuing hope and she doesn’t find any, but this time, at least she’ll know

#i was thinking about her vs glóredhel and like i suppose the doylist reason she doesnt go that route is she needs to have tuor in the wild #but she couldve died there if tolkien just wanted to dispose of her like that. but instead she goes on the world's worst hike #having been told huor is in no uncertain terms already dead. so im considering Why #rían #silmarillion #edain #coh #huor #tolkien #something something the differences between rían and morwen's methods for grieving too... that's another post #skravler

[mistninja]

I have a test tomorrow. Should i try to finish Assassin's Fate today or wait after the test.....

#its silly but i know i will be genuinely devastated when fitz dies fr #i have put too much of me on that old man..... #uhmmmmmm #i will read a bit more today but i will keep the finale for tomorrow #fitz my beloved im already grieving him

[layzeal]

if i think abt the tragedy of 3zun for too long i go insane, because by all means all 3 of them should have died in that coffin. it'd be TOO fitting. sworn brothers, promising their lives and deaths to each other, stuck together in their cycle for 100 years until there's nothing left of them, until they've merged into one

just for, at the last second, one of them says no, and pushes the final piece away. his life spared, one of us will live to pick up the shards, forever separated from the others

#sometimes i wonder if the only reason lxc wasn't killed in that coffin #is bc there was no way for mxtx to write a happy ending for wangxian if lwj's brother is dead #it was already tricky having him leave while he's grieving #but understandable since lans grive in seclusion #but GOD. I JUST THINK ABOUT IT #im glad it didn't happen. the breaking of expectations is a lot more satisfying #BUT IT COULD HAVE. AND IT EATS ME ALIVE #the ending we have is so much more heartwrenching #modao #lace speaks

[hauntedtrait]

ugh im starting to run low-ish on my migraine meds and until i can (if i can) get my medicaid back i wont be able to get more meds bc 1 card of tablets is $900+ without insurance and im soooo not looking forward to it, these tablets are the only thing that keep the migraines away and without them im gonna go back to multi-day, completely crippling migraines that leave me bedbound and unable to turn on the lights or look at my phone for more than a few minutes

#im so scared of losing my medicaid in general #once i run out of prescriptions i wont be able to afford dr visits to renew them #and without meds i will be extremely sick and unable to function #not to mention what'll happen to my psyche without my antipsychotics... #the withdrawal psychosis is bad enough #personal #im like already pre-grieving myself my body and my health for when i lose my meds if i cant get back on medicaid

[zevranunderstander]

i think my absolutely favorite part of night in the woods is that the game doesn't tell you from the beginning what is really up with mae. one of the biggest revelations about the character *you* yourself play is only given about 40 or so mins before the game ends and i think that is why the narrative works so incredibly well.

if you had known what's wrong with mae from the very start, you could have excused a *lot* of her behaviour. but the game doesn't do that. for the entire game, you play as someone, who often is incredibly rude, doesn't think of consequences or responsibility, is very self-centered and who you know has beat a child to near death. and you get enough explainations to that to not really question it too much - you get told she has anger issues and you realize she struggles to often see past her own privilege, especially when she interacts with bea and maybe that's just how she *is*

and this is exactly how the town and even her friends *see* mae. and even more important, with this perspective you are forced to see how much mae is hurting people around her. she's a pretty shitty friend to bea, angus says that she brings out the worst in gregg, she beats a kid nearly to death, she gets aggressive with people, when she feels like she isn't in control she starts to destory stuff, she is rude and dismissive of other people's feelings, and she almost never apologizes or tries to akwardly laugh it off afterwards.

and that's important. you are supposed to ask yourself. "why are these people even sticking around with mae", it's important that you see that her mental issues do not excuse how she treats other people and the least she can do is apologize. and she struggles with it and she *tries* to be a person that doesn't always say the worst thing at the wrong time, but she isn't really trying to heal. and the empathetic thing she needs to do for her friends is try to heal. but she doesn't do that - she tries to hide in a past that doesn't exist anymore and sees the people in the town as the people they were two years ago and she wants to distract herself with them from actually having to go through the incredible painful process of healing.

and if she would have explained how she percieved reality in the first few hours of the game, you would have understood her better, but that wouldn't have helped you see how much she is hurting the people around her. the game is never dismissive about her mental illness. her friends never abandon her, despite not really knowing what's up with her. but night in the woods is very clear about the fact that mae needs to put in actual effort into her relationships, too and she needs to learn to be mindful of other people's emotions.

the ending wouldn't have gone half as hard if you had known this all along. you can see how much mae's "just shapes" mentality did active harm to everyone around her and just 10 minutes later you meet a group of people who see people exactly the same as she does, just shapes, that they try to not to think of as people. and afterwards, when mae thinks she will die, she realizes that she wants to feel emotions, that abstracting everything around her so she doesn't have to feel grief or guilt or fear isn't what she wants. she *wants* to feel these emotions, because it means she is living life the way it is intended. and really, that moment permanently changed by brain chemistry I think

#myposts #nitw #night in the woods #like. this moment REALLY did something for me personally #i am a person that is very scared of losing people and im so busy being scared that im lowkey already mourning them before they die #and like. this game took me by the shoulders and shook me til my brain fell out while yelling at me like #so what if they die! then you will be sad! and now you are not! and you wll move on! but if you are grieving them then you will prove #that their life meant something! that they made an impact! that is how life is supposed to be lived! full of emotions and memories! #and bitch. this moment makes me weep just thinking of it