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#is it bc i didnt understand english class very well. or no bc i actually hated writing in english class but i did it well enough that my
yelloworangesoda · 4 months
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i don’t know. its like i dont have the words for anything. its so embarrassing oh am i ignoring you am i being an asshole. am i stupid did i fail english class. no its more like if everyone was given language skills they left me out of
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aesteasis · 1 year
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do you have any brazilian literature recommendations :))?
ooohohoho yes i do, im glad you asked >:)) grab some snackies and a water bottle, this is gonna be a long post.
most of what i've read from brazilian literature are classics and like books that are at least decades old lol (uni life go brr), so my recommendations will probably rotate around that. so lets go!
first of all, of course, i recommend Dom Casmurro by Machado de Assis (black author btw!), it wouldnt be a br lit rec if i didnt mention this one at some point. this is like the ultimate classic i'd say, but im not recommending just for that. i REALLY enjoy unreliable narrators and this book is all about it. its a novel about a guy who marries his childhood love, but suspects she's cheating on him, but yk, he's a white man from the 19th century, he thinks he's always right and is privileged af and it shows in the way he tells his story, so his opinions arent that trustworthy. and the author knew very much what he was doing, and he did it on purpose.
still about Machado, i must mention his short stories. i really really enjoy grotesque and gothic literature (think the vibes of poe, lovecraft, gogol, dostoevsky, etc) and Machado nails at it. he's also translated poe's works to portuguese back in the day, so we know for certain there's some influences in there. well, i recommend Machado in genereal, my guy really knew how to criticize society with some great witty and sarcastic comments if you know where to look.
if you want more grotesque but is tired of reading stuff written by men, i recommend Julia Lopes de Almeida (who isnt as known as she should be, she was done dirty and purposefully neglected by ABL - brazilian literary non-profit society) and Lygia Fagundes Telles. both of them have some reeeal creepy stories, just the way i like it.
now, if you're into authors who dissect the human mind and master the stream of consciousness and love to relate to the thoughts of the characters of your books, i highly recommend Clarice Linspector. no one does it like her, my girl knows how to transform thoughts into a narrative and its insane, her books are really endearing to read imo.
but if you want something that will thresh the brazilian society (or well, any third world country's society i'd say) and expose every flaw about the system, racism, misogyny, colonialism and class conflict, i recommend specifically the books Vidas Secas, by Graciliano Ramos (idk if theres a translation, but the title says Dry Lives), The Slum, by Aluísio Azevedo, and The Devil to Pay in the Backlands, by Guimarães Rosa (this one is sooo hard to read in portuguese bc it uses a lot of regionalisms from a region im not from, so hard that i actually got a copy in english to read for my finals lmao. but worry not, the english translation is much easier to understand. it also has some queer themes, both gender and sexuality wise, and its a literal masterpiece).
for poetry, i highly recommend Augusto dos Anjos, a personal favourite. im not that into poetry, but Carlos Drummond de Andrade and Cecilia Meireles are very good too.
there's so much more i could recommend, but these are the ones that come to my mind rn. idk if thats what you were thinking about, and sorry i coulnt bring anything contemporary, if thats more your vibes, but i really recommend all of these, for anyone, they're really enriching to read.
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thatbitchsimone · 9 months
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Thank you that’s very sweet, you’re very kind
I just read and observe people and then after some time I eventually pick up on their habits and the way they talk and that’s what I did while learning English
Obviously I knew English because I learnt it in school but I never spoke it and I wasn’t great at communicating in it because where I live we usually speak my mother tongue which is pashto and urdu (I live in pakistan btw)
I’m 20 so before I was 17 when I started learning, that too because I got into this phase where I didn’t like talking to people and just reading and writing and on my phone and the quarantine really helped lol so that made me learn English and eventually get introduced to all the western media
And I because I had been always very close to my family so we watched the same shows and I wasn’t really at all on social media, probably because the lack of knowing English so I felt kind of insecure being on social media if I wasn’t able to understand the stuff on it, so no idea of western celebs or anything like that (I knew the very famous ones like angelina jolie etc because once I saw her face printed on a bag while I was shopping when I was like 12 and I though she was gorgeous anyways I’m rambling!!! Now hahah)
Anyways the point is, sometimes it makes me feel like, social media and real life are two different planets because the stuff on it so flabbergasting and weird (but also it has its many good sides and effects as well like talking to people and that’s great for me cause I love talking to people) but What kind of makes me sad is that it’s not 2 different planets, it’s all the same and the people who are so unkind and crazy on the internet are among us
It’s very weird
loved reading this! thank u so much
i mostly learned english from reading and watching movies etc as well actually but then again i was very young (i was fully fluent by the time i was around 9 i think) and children pick up languages very fast and i live in sweden where american and english media and pop culture is very widespread and part of the culture (probably bc sweden is a western country and america is very dominant in western media in general) so people learn english very well and easily here like swedes are known for it and foreigners often struggle to learn swedish bc the natives all switch to english when they notice u dont speak swedish so lots of foreigners and immigrants have to straight up ask people to talk to them in swedish more so they can learn and practice it lol but i think that goes to show that the best way to learn a language is to watch and read media in that language and observe it in casual conversation rather than just go by how ur taught it in classes etc
i honestly think its a good thing that u didnt partake in social media when u were younger. i think a lot of the people that dont seperate social media from real life are the ones who started using it early so they have almost spent more time in the social media and online world than the actual real world and get less real world interactions than online ones. i think its very unhealthy to not be able to seperate the 2 and just like u said, the online world and the real world are 2 different things and people forget that they are interacting with real living humans thru the screen and thats when it gets toxic and crazy and hostile. people kind of lose their social skills when they only interact with others behind a screen and its very concerning. ive always talked to ppl online the way i would talk face to face and its always weird to me when others dont do the same bc its like would u say these things ur saying online if the person was face to face with u? if u wouldnt then just dont. its cowardly and embarrassing behavior and its just gonna rot ur brain and soul and make u lose touch with reality and how u connect to others on a human level
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twildflower · 5 months
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Just read a fic with “I wanted to do this” this sentence in it and i want to kms so bad expand to read a semi-long stupidly funny story. Theres poorly written sex in this for explaining reasons
Before this starts i have to hightlight the fact that my mother tongue is not english nor did we have english as first language to learn at the place i used to live, i just had english classes aside from kindergarten when i was around 1-ish(??) so i had better English compared to my classmates, and that *;i did not go to elementary school and went to something called primary school that had 6 years before going to middle school which had another 6 years before i can go to college.*; TLDR i moved around the numbers of the years into more understandable years for english readers. I dont know how good elementary kids write here but back at where i lived they would trip over and die on a pebble because most kids cant even write 100 words without using 1+ hour and 835284 grammar mistakes and wrong words and such. At least until senior years in elementary. My old ‘friend’ introduced me to wattpad, i didnt know it existed until she told me. Okay this explanation is too long.
When i was in elementary i used to write fics on wattpad for like. 2-3 years and bc i went back to look at them after a year/every now and then (when i still had the app) i tried editing everything to make the old cringe ass fics to look better, but it only made me remember how much cringe i wrote and it wasn’t even that much better (no shit dude how much was i going to improve in a 2 year period. In elementary might i fucking add.) . Now i have certain sentences i see and i cringe so hard because it reminds me of what i wrote before and its such a hidden core memory i didnt think of it until i read a fic that had “i wanted to do this” in it and i internally died that second i saw it actually. Its not even the fic it’s literally just this single sentence that i wrote in my very old fic that made me cringe the fuck out. If you read to here might as well spill the tea and ball bc HEY did you know? I read fucking smut in elementary! Woooaaa!!! Unrestricted internet access!!!! Cheers to that fr!!! That fucked me in the ass bc it made me write a sex scene that was just
(Im going to fucking cry i dont want to write this out again but this only exists very vividly in my memory and this chapter in my story thats published (maybe I deleted the whole story I honestly don’t remember I’ll check later) is deleted bc I realized its so cringe some time later i don’t remember when. So literally you just have to take my word for it. Plus i was not going to expose my old account. And this would. Be funny joke material if you ignor ethe fact that i wrote this in elementary. It was probably like, 5 years before hs.)
-protag boy and girl meet up with their friends
-boy drags the girl back her house and leave their friends alone
-girl asks boy whats happening
-boy literally just says “to do this” (or something along the lines of that) and instantly took off all his clothes (i was writing it more like those clothes fell off when he took them off idk wtf was happening), implying he wanted to have sex
-girl blushes and clothes also get taken off by boy in an instant (holy shit its so cringe the memory of it gets more vivid the more I remember abt it)
-the only words the girl says is “ah” “Ah” “aH” and “AH” progressively between single sentences of breifly writing the boy going faster(???)
Then they fucking explode i don’t remember what happened next i think they just came and i cut off the story. Or someone walked in on them idk what.
I hope this amount of cringe makes you think at least you weren’t me and didnt try to write a sex scene at 9-10 years old. I dont know how i came up with this. Just gotta love unrestricted internet access amiright? I never wrote any sex scenes after then bc this gave me very bad trauma. Laughs in pathetic. Anywho, i still have other very cringe stories but nothing can top this. I might post another one of my cringe writings but im going back to sleep bruh i woke up in the middle of the night bc my stomach hurts. Then spent 1< hours writing this lmaooo
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lostacelonnie · 11 months
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Im gonna thank modern medicine when i go on hrt soon got that appointment to make tomorrow. Well call & have them call me back when they are open. Oh yeah for sure i need to go back to the ocean again soon. Yeah for sure trial by you have to sure helps when you gotta pick up the languages. Oh big mood my spoken spanish is. Not as good as what i can understand. Remembering the two polish people i met in 2013 makes me definitely believe that im not sure i ever got their names right. Definitely noted i wouldnt travel anywhere in spring or summer anyways. Oh? Ill have to build her for sure then. Give me something to do while i wait for bronya to come home & seele to re run. Im honestly starting to care for genshin less so its fine by me. Sounds like people just wanted to start fires? Or were being some type of silly? Welcome back from your vacation i hope you had fun i was waiting to reply til you got back
OH THATS SO COOL CONGRATS ON THE HRT!! i wanna go on hrt sooooo badly one day but well see how doable it will be in poland. tho i am optimistic about the future since the current extremely conservative ruling party has lost a LOT of support over the years theyve been in charge so. theres hope! and good luck with that, i luckily will get a chance relatively soon with that school trip i mentioned. tho im not 100% sure if im gonna be confident enough to be in a swimsuit in front of my class since i dont even particularly like most of them. and yeah it really is like that with languages sjfgkkgkd the only reason my spoken english is good is bc i had a LOT of one-on-one lessons with a native speaker so i went through a lot of practice. and thats ok sjfjkfj its extremely common for foreigners to not be able to pronounce polish names [and for a reason. hell language even for us] so as long as you even try nobodys gonna be mad ajjdkf. tho in my personal case its very funny bc my birthname is literally identical in a lot of languages so ppl just accentuate it incorrectly. and soften the r. i unfortunately travel mainly in spring or summer since thats when i have the most free time, but im gonna try to convince my mom to go to more colder places [i miss tromso that was my ideal climate]. anyways, yeah thats a good idea!! seriously claras counters are so unbelievably cracked since 1. big big dmg, actually her main source of it, and 2. unlimited. everytime she gets attacked she immediately counters [after her ult, she also does this for allies attacked twice] so yeah i got her very early [30 pulls on standard, my beginner 5* was bailu] and since got her e1 and rec 10/10. im waiting to get bronya as well and since i dont have kafka guaranteed and won 50.50 twice in a row im not very confident ab getting her, i hope that if i lose its at least gonna be bronya. or welt. welt is cracked. i actually uninstalled genshin from my pc a while ago since i stopped playing altogether but i might come back from fontaine since im always curious ab the new regions. tho i did completely ignore the chasm coming out when it did. idk didnt excite me that much. and yeah i also think thats the case but at the same time Hm. average day in warsaw. AND YEAH HI IT WAS SO FUN OH MY GOD I ACTUALLY HAD A MEETING YESTERDAY WITH A COUPLE FRIENDS FROM CAMP + AVERY SINCE IT WAS AVS BIRTHDAY AND. AHHH. BEST CAMP IVE BEEN ON I THINK. also one of my campmates had hair dye so i have red hair now. fun!
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mosviqu · 1 year
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IT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH AND I HATE ALL OF THE THINGS I GOT TO KNOW ABOUT THIS ERA THEIR HARD WORK IS NOT APPRECIATED ENOUGH WAHHH
i didn't even have the motivation to check out the last song from them ngl💔💔very sad about them but maybe i will like it after watching music shows lmao i wont give up (fully) on the 03liners💔 WAITTTT TRUE HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT INTAK WHAT THE HECK I WAS SO HAPPY ABOUT HIM (and same i saw that they are having a cb and i was like:o i forgot about u guys:o) AN AMAZING CREW!!!! also would selfishly add enhypen sunoo he is a lovely 03 liner as well🥹 (idk know mcnd☹️☹️ i heard like 2-3 of their songs but i never checked them out☹️ BUT IM HAPPY THERE IS AN 03 LINER IN THERE!!!)
IT IS IMPORTANT BUT IM STILL NOT SURE IF ITS 100% TRUE😭 i love keeho so much like that was the point where i was like yeah u are going to be my fav from here!! seeing the screenshots of it still makes me laugh so much
i can imagine that😭 my sister was in the exact same situation as u💀
IT WAS!!!! dino is lovely and i would love to see u being his body guard ngl🤣 I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THEY DIDNT DO IT💔💔just such a big heartbreak💔💔ALSO TALKING ABOUT TREASURE DID U HEAR THE SNIPPET HE POSTED OF A SONG??? it sounds very great imo
I CAN SO RELATE TO THAT!!! english is so hard without english classes i never realized that till now💔 i only talk in english with my sister but it's a mess i even just struggle to put together sentences now😭 writing my replies takes so much brain cells from me so i always just pray that u will get what i'm trying to say even if it's not correct lmao🥸 RECORDING VLOGS IS SO MUCH FUN!! i did it for a while and it was so amazing so i recommend it only sent them to my bestie but it was actually so funny😭 THE BRITISH PEOPLE GOT US REAL HARD💔
(AHHH THANK U SO MUCH;-; I APPRECIATE IT!!! HANBIN!!! I HOPE U WILL HAVE MORE MOMENTS OVER HIM LMAO HE IS VERY GREAT😌 although be careful with asking me about zbone members cuz idk three of them;-; but working on it🤞 and u can tag me or message me ofc i dont mind🥹💕) (liebestraum anon🥳💕)
LITERALLYYYY i saw a tiktok where it compared all the other dances where its a member x woman (ten or baek) and it said "so this is okay, but this isnt?" showing enha and the comments were like "we are the problem" LMAO so at least they are self-aware.
no because i was really disappointed too >:(( but the title track still slaps i said what i said. watched them perform it too and they have cute bubbly vibes i am heartbroken for the lack of interest from my side. NO BC WHEN I STARTED BIASING INTAK AND REALISED HE WAS A 03 LINER I HAD A MENTAL BREAKDOWN. ((still am a jiung girlie at heart tho). i am really excited for their cb tho it sounds amazing!!! HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT SUNOO WHAT THE FUCK AAAAAAAAAA IM SO SORRY he's my fav 03 liner. ((there are actually 2 03 liners in mcnd but i forgot the other one LMAO i honestly cant remember their names anymore but i had a very short mcnd phase lol. all i know is that i'd die for minjae thats all)
i would honestly be a good bodyguard bc i have a lot of rage in me. like i could fully fight someone if i was mad enough LMAOO. everything for dino baby <3 I DID SEE THE SNIPPET I LOST MY SHIT LOWKEY HIGHKEY I AM SO EXCITED AAAAAAA
i mean english isnt really hard for me if we are talking abt writing and stuff but speaking out loud is more difficult if you don't regularly do it >:( dont worry we are on the same wavelength i always know what u mean w your replies AHAH sometimes i speak in eng w my roommate bc she is an english major (she only picked the major bc of me and then i ended up doing psychology so i owe her this bc her english isnt as good as mine) I USED TO RECORD VLOGS W MY BROTHER but we never posted them thank god. i'm still down to do it honestly its so fun LMAO
hanbin.......i looked up his name on tiktok once and now my fyp is filled with him and im so in love he's so cute and adorable and sweet like i saw clips of ppl giving him letters and how much he loves getting them and even asked if anyone has letters for him please zb1 fans give him letters!!!!!! no bc i only know ricky, hanbin, zhang hao and matthew :,) but the more i see them on my fyp the more i am convinced to stan once they debut like i legit debated on watching boys planet yesterday bc i lowkey like survival shows but when i found out the eps are 2 hours long i decided to just....not...do that...
also a small update on the tbz recs i did some progress and i really liked diamond life and survive the night :p i have like 11 songs left from the ones u recommended LMAO but yeah i loved those two
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meowmeow, lovie!! good morning/day/evening! im sorry i suppose ill be late today too bc its already 4:30 and i still have an essay to write *clown emoji aka me* nvm i deicided to write it during the lessons. 'i was kinda sad yesterday so when you didnt message me' im sososO sorry love TT i hope you read it during the day at least and im making you a company. 'i refuse to watch doctor who' well we'll see... or you in particular... AAAH im waiting for the song sm!! you always look pretty! tbh im waiting for any content you publish!! im so honored you ask me for a song to sing TT omg im crying im soso touched TT im not so cruel to ask you to learn a russian song nono. what kind of song do you want? idk about professional traits but if you tell me, next time ill give you some variants. since you mentioned russian songs, i recalled a song named 'russian princess' (it has english subs if you want to listen!) actually i feel so cool listening to it hghls. especially since i got into hotd. i feel not exactly like a royalty but you know this feeling of being special and just in tune with yourself? tbh i found this song a year or 2 ago and i associate it with the other events. also it has some witchy vibes as for me. andand!! was this # about my witch au? if you got it, you got it. no pressure, just curious. 'i would say i have no chill and am quite radical' nah i wasnt saying you ARE chill and hippie. but that you have such an image in the internet. tbh i want to go to protests but... im not afraid of getting hurt but ruining my whole life *star eyes* there was a guy who was walking NEAR the place where a demonstration was happening and.. hes been imprisoned <з lovely isnt it? universities were expelling their students for taking part in the protests. sorry i got carried away. good to know you have such a rebellious posture. i love you saint hannah TT youre so sweet <з 'i try not to think about that too much cos ill cry' ive been crying by the middle of the sentence. 'when we say we’re going to eat rice that means were eating a meal' oooh i got you. we have a tradition of eating bread with every meal but 1) its not the same thing 2) its not really strong among young people. its fine, you explained it pretty understandable. papak sounds cute. ig we have an equivalent. 'I HAVE SO MUCH MORE I WANT TO SHARE' YEEEY im always hear to listen to it! WOW its so really very very interesting to learn about this saying twice thing!! we also say things twice sometimes for the same reason or to just create a new meaning. i crave learning more about filipino! yeah i didnt know what is flan. 1) but tbh some people dont even see russia as europe.. even geographically... 2) its not a common dish in slavik countries (eastern at least). like we have a quite similar thing but it has a completely different name. 'i think it derived from spanish??' yeah its probably just my association. we dont have such constructions to unit words so it always sounds foreign. esp words like this. a silly stereotype but it gives me some old movie about mafia vibes. its also said in a deep af brutal voice in the beginning of a movie. 'I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS PERFECTLY BECAUSE' omg its cute. thanks <з love your big brain ooh kare-kare looks good. a hottie fdklfjd. please let me answer it in the second part bc 1)im running out of symbols 2) i wanna sleep 3) ill answer you during the day i swear TT ive got so many things to do it scares me.. just remember that im here! have a good day!! good luck with the classes and all! take care<з
HELOO LOVE
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im ready T_T i might just type everything i lost last night
im sorry i suppose ill be late today too bc its already 4:30 and i still have an essay to write *clown emoji aka me* nvm i deicided to write it during the lessons. 'i was kinda sad yesterday so when you didnt message me' im sososO sorry love TT i hope you read it during the day at least and im making you a company.
T_T it's ok i told you not to apologize ur not the reason i was sad but i was hoping to talk to you. T_T its ok as long as you reply im good u have a life beyond tumblr girl its fine. here are your clown emojis 🤡🤡🤡 please take care of yourself
'i refuse to watch doctor who' well we'll see... or you in particular... AAAH im waiting for the song sm!!
ive been meaning to watch the episode with the 10th and 11th doctor with my mummy but T_T there's no subtitles T_T and matt like mumbling in the beginning and we dont have a speaker and T_T sad RIP maybe i'll at least watch that episode
you always look pretty! tbh im waiting for any content you publish!!
T_T Спасибо, любимый
im so honored you ask me for a song to sing TT omg im crying im soso touched TT im not so cruel to ask you to learn a russian song nono. what kind of song do you want? idk about professional traits but if you tell me, next time ill give you some variants. since you mentioned russian songs, i recalled a song named 'russian princess' (it has english subs if you want to listen!)
geez i listened to this song before fully reading your reply and T_T i thought it was the song you wanted me to sing so i was like DAMN ITS GOOD but then i realized i slowly regretted saying id sing anything for you even if its in russian T_T ALSO I CANT MAKE THE BACKING TRACK/MUSIC ITS EDM AINT NO ONE GOT TIME FOR THAT but now that ive read this in its entirety im glad your not making me sing it but HAHAH YOU KNOW I ALREADY LOOKED UP THE LYRICS AND GOT THE ROMANIZED RUSSIAN AHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAH i'll try to learn it it has an interesting melody but lol we'll see HAAHAHH
the genre im mostly drawn to has rock vibes but i like all music to a certain degree so pls i hope its english (or filipino HAHHAH)
actually i feel so cool listening to it hghls. especially since i got into hotd. i feel not exactly like a royalty but you know this feeling of being special and just in tune with yourself? tbh i found this song a year or 2 ago and i associate it with the other events. also it has some witchy vibes as for me.
i see it really does have have quite a strong ambiance so i can understand why you are drawn to it. i actually like this song! i love how you describe your feeling with music, this is how i feel about music. btw... are you in high school? i- i suddenly tried to think of what youre studying but i cant ?? think of anything omg T_T [are you a minor] YOURE NOT RIGHT? arent you 19? T_T HELP
andand!! was this # about my witch au? if you got it, you got it. no pressure, just curious.
YES and no but yes but idk i wanted to write it but now i dont T_T it be like that
'i would say i have no chill and am quite radical' nah i wasnt saying you ARE chill and hippie. but that you have such an image in the internet.
HAHHAAH BUT THAT LITERALLY MEANS YOU THINK IM A CHILL HIPPIE HAHAHAHAAHA
tbh i want to go to protests but... im not afraid of getting hurt but ruining my whole life *star eyes*
im not going to give you star emojis because i think you mean your are ok with yourself getting hurt and i dont support that
there was a guy who was walking NEAR the place where a demonstration was happening and.. hes been imprisoned <з lovely isnt it? universities were expelling their students for taking part in the protests. sorry i got carried away. good to know you have such a rebellious posture.
not really rebellious per se, more of like i think its necessary to speak out against the status quo if the status quo is bad and harmful and anti-people and pro-elite etc. i hope that guy is ok. ✊
i love you saint hannah TT youre so sweet <з
lol thanks idk what i feel about the nickname but i love you <3
'i try not to think about that too much cos ill cry' ive been crying by the middle of the sentence.
T_T
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'when we say we’re going to eat rice that means were eating a meal' oooh i got you. we have a tradition of eating bread with every meal but 1) its not the same thing 2) its not really strong among young people. its fine, you explained it pretty understandable.
tbh i wouldnt call it a tradition its like a social norm to eat rice... ig culture? is more appropriate. its nice that you have parallelism with bread. and omg young people dont lke bread AHAHHA that's ? so funny lol its weird to think yall just out there eating .... idk fried chicken T_T DAMN WITH NO RICE T_T
papak sounds cute. ig we have an equivalent.
T_T HAHAHA what's the equivalent?
'I HAVE SO MUCH MORE I WANT TO SHARE' YEEEY im always hear to listen to it!
OK im going to take this oppurtunity to talk to you again about sandman because that was the highlight of my message before i ctrl zed but FIRST LET ME SAVE THIS AS A DRAFT
ok were safe team
OK so yesterday ??? or was it yester NO IT WAS YESTERDAY i went to the library and read the chonky sandman megabig comic and i absolute loved the issue with Nada and Dream
now i have a new perspective in this because i feel like i was internally misogynistic towards Nada after watching this video about likable female characters (you dont have to watch it but this channel is very nice) anyway this vid basically talked about how female characters are only 'good' if they're likeable whereas male characters can be good regardless of that and it made me think about this issue cos i felt more sympathy towards dream than nada and at one point i had feelings of annoyance with nada but Lasflahsf NOW i cant remember if it was before i read that issue or after but i recall having catharsis over how i treated nada after typing my thoughts about it to you
anyway as im typing this now, i also realized that its ok for me not to feel that much feelings at all towards nada because i mean i had been following dream throughout the other issues so its not weird to have me have stronger feelings about dream rather than nada
but anyway, i still felt that both of them were problematic in their own way and i'll just quickly go through why and why i love that issue the most
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so nada ^^^^ is dream's first love T_T [CRYING] solely because [CRYING] she was the only person who said they loved him and actually sought him out [CRYING] MANS SUPER HUNGRY FOR LOVE AND COMPANIONSHIP ITS SO SAD and yeah because of that dream was like LASFHASFHAL I LOVE YOU TOO NADA I WANT YOU TO BE QUEEN OF THE DREAMING T_T [CRYING]
but like stupid mortals be T_T [sigh] nada, who had been warned by a bird king not to seek out the 'man' she was in love with because he was NOT a man was like 'but i still love him' then met dream, had the whole be my queen shebang and when she realized he was not human she was AW SHIT BIRD KING WAS RIGHT (bird king is a literal bird btw AHHHA) and was like dream we cant be together im sorry i was stupid pls let me go this is bad
but dream was like [pls i love you T_T i want you pls i need love]
[CRYING]
so nada desperately goes through all these things to evade dream the worst of which is she even defiles herself by taking her maidenhood WITH A ROCK (it's not to say that a woman impure because she is not a virgin or that she is anything based on their virginity bUT I SAY DEFILE BECAUSE DAMN THAT FUCKING HURTS AND SHE WAS SO DESPERATE TO REPEL DREAM TO DO THAT) but dream is like T_T social constructs such as this matter not to me im not a human pls i love you i want you be my queen
{CRYING}
AND POOR FUCKING NADA SHES LIKE ON HER KNEES BEGGING BUT DREAM FUCKING BEING DREAM IS LIKE PLSSSSSSSSSSSS but ig also he's kinda hot cos nada was like ok thats kinda hot that you dgaf about social norms so they make love on top of the mountain
BUT THEN THE FUCKING SUN IS LIKE WHAT IS THIS HERESY WHAT IS THIS ABSOLUTE SIN THAT A MORTAL AND AN ENDLESS HAVE SHARED UNION THEN FUCKING BURNS NADA'S ENTIRE VILLAGE ////:
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk thats fucking petty of the sun if it was so bad it shudda burned nada no? but then again nada is the princess of the tribe so 😬😬😬😬😬🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 its cold hard reality the people have to suffer for their rulers' mistakes
and so when they woke nada was like ???? my people are dead T_T CRYING FUCK then jumps of the cliff and dies
NOW THIS PETTY FUCK DREAM COMES TO HER AND IS LIKE nada i love you then you betrayed me (ok this isnt the petty part because she willingly had sex with him on that mountain) then hes like youre choosing death over me (death is dreams sister so he was 100% jelly over this) and nada is like pls my people are dead because of me let me go
this is the part where i think well yeah theyre dead youre dead just be with dream forgetting that guilt exists lol AHHAHAHA
THIS IS THE PART WHERE DREAM IS PETTY COS HE WAS LIKE for betraying me i will punish you BUT if you agree to be my queen i;ll forgive you i;ll only ask you 3 times if you deny me 3 times im going to condemn you to fucking hell //////:
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
he petty AF for that wtf
so nada obviously is like no no pls dont make me say no again so dont ask me but DREAM PETTY AF AND I THINK THE COMIC EVEN SAID SOME SHIT ABOUT THAT AND SO DREAM
ASKED HER ANYWAY
and she said no and now she's in fucking HELLL AND BEEN IN HELL FOR MILLENIA
in one of the earlier issues + in the show dream sees nada when he goes to hell and asks him to release her and i think nada asks if he loves him and dream is smth like its been thousands of years of course i still love you BUT i stilll havent forgiven you T_T PETTY RAT
and i remember when i watched that i was like DAMN WHAT DID SHE DO HE PETTY AF and now that i know im like i see it but also he petty AF
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UHH TEN THOUSAND YEARS THIS RAT PETTY AF
[end scene]
WOW its so really very very interesting to learn about this saying twice thing!! we also say things twice sometimes for the same reason or to just create a new meaning.
AW THATS CUTE HAHAHAH love that for us #russianssecretlyfilipino #filipinossecretlyrussian
i crave learning more about filipino!
OK OK LETS FINALLY TALK ABOUT JOSE RIZAL
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this is him. it might not look like it but hes the original fuck boy HAHHAHA man had girlfriends all over the globe like pitbull who? he aint mr worldwide JOSE RIZAL is mr worldwife HAHHA LOL I TYPED THAT ON ACCIDENT AND SO REAL FINGERS SO REAL tho he never had a wife so /: HAHHAA
anyway he became the national hero because his work inspired the revolution and he did so with non violence so. i personally have a soft spot for andres bonifacio (the other candidate for national hero) but thats for another time
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this andres btw
aNYWAY his most prolific works are 'noli mi tangere' which means 'touch me not' in spanish or 'like do not translate me' then its sequel 'el filibusterismo' or 'the Filibuster' in spanish whatever the fuck that means ok wikipedia says its It is sometimes referred to as "talking a bill to death" or "talking out a bill", and is characterized as a form of obstruction in a legislature or other decision-making body. whatever that means HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
so yeah he got killed for writing that lol cos he wrote it in spanish cos fuck you spain and then spain was like (: pew pew and shot him and he was like FUCK YOU YOURE NOT GOING TO SHOOT ME IN THE BACK IM GOING TO FACE YOU but he died before he could look at the firing squad so /:
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side note the right pic is at rizal park which was where he was killed (it was renamed after him) and i remember going there for a field trip and being absolutely enamored by the story teller/tour guide who said the whole story and said the command by the spanish and the statues FIRED AT RIZAL AND I HAD A HEARTATTACK THEN AFTER IT ALL I WAS LIKE WOAH THAT WAS MEGA COOL but i dont remember what the spanish command was T_T rip i wish i knew so i could tell you any everyone else i want to tell this story to
HAHAHAH anyway unlike other works before jose rizal which was propaganda against the spanish, the works before rizal were like only allussions to opression but never direct. whereas rizal was like oh you see these spanish priests and all the governors THEYRE FUCKING L also you see how they treat the poor and farmers and fucking RAPE OUR WOMEN (: YALL ARE L FUCK YOU
and spain was like ? no fuck YOU bang bang (in before imprisoning him i think he only lived to be 30?) then after he died the revolutionaries called the katipuneros which is derived from (Dont freak out) the KKK (which means kataastaasan (the highest of the high) kagalanggalangang (the most respectable) katipunan (? like group or association, but also because of them katipunan kind of has this meaning of revolutionary or i guess to me) were like HELL NO LETS FUCKING GO SPAIN YOU WANT A PIECE OF THIS FUCK YOU
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(this is my absolute fav monument i remember seeing it for the first time as a child i was like DAMN THAT SWORD FUCKING LIT)
I MUST SAY the first time i heard of other KKK was in the black eyed peas song 'where is the love' and i was like HEY they dont like the kkk? why dont they like the kkk? how do they even know them? they fought for out freedom thats so mean of them not to like them in before my older brother said YOU IDIOT THAT NOT THE KKK THEYRE TALKING ABOUT T_T rip
enough of that
noli (we call it that so its short) basically follows this dude named crisostomo ibarra. in the first book he's just come home from abroad and is like i love it here then slowly is like WTF IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE WHY IS THIS HAPPENING and ... tbh its been a while i dont remember its entirety... but he fall in love with maria clara and theres this freaky rat ass priest that has ??? the hots for her but ??? hES SECRETLY HER FUCKING DAD? COS HE RAPED MARIAS MOM and maria also gets raped im not sure by who tho but FUCK THAT PRIEST (a priest rapes her) yeah its all very FUCK YOU she joins the convent because of that and i think because yeah crisostomo dies and shes like </3 i will never recover never love again
honestly dont quote me on this i could be getting so much wrong
then part 2 which is el fili (again shorted cos its too long) crisostomo ibarra who fucking dies in p1 comes back from the dead (cos he never died fr) as simoun and is like I DONT WANT PEACE I WANT PROBLEMS ALWAYS and plans to blow up a church or smth BECAUSE FUCK YOU SPAIN (honestly i cant remember) and marias like my beloved crisostomo T_T please come back to me and simoun is like WAIT WAIT IM COMING but maria is like fuck this shit and jumps off a fucking church cos life sucks
yeah the end thats about as much as i remember from the main plot but the books talk about a lot of social injustices too
my favorite (or should i even call it that T_T) is the piece about Cabesang Tales who is a farmer took barren land and made it fruitful and it took so long for it to be fruitful his wife and daughter died of fucking poverty then the church was like actually peasant this land belongs to God and by god i mean us gtfo this land and Cabesang Tales who was the picture of patience fucking snapped and was like FUCKING WORK YOUR BLEED BLOOD AND FIX THE LAND THEN BURRY YOUR WIFE AND CHILD HERE FIRST THEN AND ONLY THEN WILL I GIVE YOU THIS LAND
then bang (:
anyway they actually made a show about this! for once its not super cringe! its about this modern girl who goes 'back in time' or more like in the book and lives with the characters. i only watched ep1 & 2 and i havent even seen the cutie crisostomo yet so i have plans on watching it but idk when
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HIHIHI THIS IS THEM Klay (the reader insert HAHAHAHAH) crisostomo then maria and i think slay <3 its actually available on youtube which is where im watching it but apparently it has no eng subs cos this one korean youtuber was complaining about it so yeah HAHHAHH the turned tables because we love kdramas here in the ph and complain if there arent eng subs on their shows HAHHAHAHA
HOLLUP LEMME JUST SAVE
ok were back this is such a long love letter
[end scene]
yeah i didnt know what is flan. 1) but tbh some people dont even see russia as europe.. even geographically... 2) its not a common dish in slavik countries (eastern at least). like we have a quite similar thing but it has a completely different name.
its ok flan is not paramount to life HAHAHH unless you make flan for a living in which case it is quite important. #1 i mean russia-- SHE 'UGE MASSIVE YEAH so huge she said eurasia and like pluto tiny #2 fair. what is the similar thing?
'i think it derived from spanish??' yeah its probably just my association. we dont have such constructions to unit words so it always sounds foreign. esp words like this.
i see. interesting to know. what about vagon you have that word surely cos i remember watching captain america civil war and it was one of winter soldier's tick words somethingsomething vagon then its translation was like freight train and my mom was like omg thats filipino bagon was like not the train per se but the things connected to the train you get me which i can only assume comes from spanish vagón exists but its wagon according to google so HAHA i got you there
a silly stereotype but it gives me some old movie about mafia vibes. its also said in a deep af brutal voice in the beginning of a movie.
I LOVE THIS STEREOTYPE TBH
'I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS PERFECTLY BECAUSE' omg its cute. thanks <з love your big brain
<3 HIHI i love your big brain
ooh kare-kare looks good. a hottie fdklfjd.
HAHAHAH yes it is very good i love it <3 now im hungry T_T
please let me answer it in the second part bc 1)im running out of symbols
thats fine
2) i wanna sleep
valid i will never stop you from listening to your body clock
3) ill answer you during the day i swear TT ive got so many things to do it scares me..
<3 do well my love you got this is can be intimidating but dont worry too much about it you got this! its normal to be anxious but you will overcome it
just remember that im here! have a good day!! good luck with the classes and all! take care<з
i love you so much my dear thank you for being here for me i am likewise also always here for you <3 take care
xxx
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blush-and-books · 4 years
Text
i'm about to pass out but needed to write this - JATP + school headcanons
*disclaimer: I am only evaluating their attitudes and performance in what are considered "core" classes in my state. Idk if it is universal. These are also generalizations -- ik theres different types of math and science that they are taking
LUKE
He inspired this so we start with the king
ENGLISH CLASS: He excelled. Somehow, unknowingly, became his teacher's favorite. Did the homework for this class and ONLY this class. A+
MATH CLASS: B-/C+. Does not like math, hates it actually, never did the homework. Somehow averaged a B+/A- on tests and quizzes because he would have Reggie tutor him days before in preparation. Teacher always shocked at how he managed.
HISTORY CLASS: Did not do the homework, but still, like, paid attention?? Had it with all the guys so there were funny moments and events to associate with each lesson and lecture and somehow he remembered it. Again, did not do the homework. Maybe if he was super bored. C+/B-
SCIENCE CLASS: Skipped it most of the time. Would show up for labs and experiments even if he had no clue what was going on. Bobby tried to help but Luke was so uninterested lol, and the teacher was v boring!!! Not fun. D+
LANGUAGE: Took Spanish because its what everyone did??? He thought it would be the most useful but it ended up being such a mistake. He thought that English was complicated, but shit!!! Hard :(( Julie tried to revive his education but fails often (but hes really faking it bc he just wants to keep hearing her speak Spanish and try to teach him). D+/C-
JULIE
ENGLISH CLASS: Aces all of her essays. Emotionally attached to all of her female English teachers!! Sometimes her interpretations of the books are a little off but literally everyone's are. Loves English. A-/A
MATH CLASS: Gifted kid syndrome but only with math if that makes sense?? Got super ahead in elementary and middle school but now that shes in high school she barely knows what's going on and is running out of math classes to take because she was able to jump so much from middle to high school. Has to study the most for this one. Thank god for Reggie. B-
HISTORY CLASS: Could take it or leave it! Likes the subject but hates the teacher. Does well on tests to spite them. Doodles too much on her homework and it annoys the teacher v much. A-
SCIENCE CLASS: kinds vibes ngl??? Something kinds cool about it. Has Flynn in the class, a fun young science teacher, and they all just have a really good time. Julie never really liked science but with the right people and environment shes flourishing!!! A
LANGUAGE: Did not have to take one -- took a fluency exam in Spanish her freshman year. Has minor superiority complex every time Flynn complains about not knowing her language.
REGGIE
ENGLISH CLASS: Got distracted hella easily... Not very fun :( teacher didn't understand that he had ADHD and learned things in a different way. Luke tried to help him cheat on tests tho so he didnt have to repeat the class. D+/C-
MATH CLASS: GENIUS!?!?!?!? GENIUS. Literally took two math classes one year bc he could. Somehow it all made sense. Really loved how numbers were consistent and clearly right or wrong; not subjective. Teachers loved him because he was always kind and positive and brought a smile to everyones face. A+++
HISTORY CLASS: Did not suck at it??? Kinda cool stuff and fun times with his besties. Did better in the class than any of them. Teacher was a total prick tho and Reggie was also late because it was their period right after lunch and he was a slow eater and the teacher didnt allow food. Again: teacher was a prick. B+
SCIENCE CLASS: Enjoyed the labs and experiments, usually aced those because he has exceptional attention to detail. Everything else, not so much. Certain concepts were just very hard to grasp and he had a hard time creating ways to remember things. C+
LANGUAGE: He took French because he knew his mom took French when she was in high school and he thought she could help him and they could bond. That plan didn't really work out -- but he still did okay, even if his mom didn't pay attention. B-
ALEX
ENGLISH CLASS: In between Luke and Reggie -- read the books and retained most of the information, but the essays were not it. He really liked class discussions even though the teacher would tell him his interpretations were wrong (how do you interpret something incorrectly?? Art is up for interpretation?? He will never quite understand). B+/B-
MATH CLASS: Kill him. Least favorite class. Hates math and has hated math since his first lesson on fractions broke his spirit in third grade. Reggie helped him through most of it but shit really did not click. Did his best because his parents would be mad if he didn't. C-/C+
HISTORY CLASS: Very into history for some unknown reason??? The TA in the class was hot so he made sure to pay attention and make a good impression. He was often apologizing for the behavior of his bandmates. A+
SCIENCE CLASS: Did not hate it!!! Had the fun young new teacher instead of the same old dude that had been there for 20 years. She was really fun and sweet (and totally got the vibe he was gay and was super supportive)!!! He didnt quite understand everything but still worked his ass off. B+
LANGUAGE: French with Reggie because he thought it was a more romantic language. Quickly realized his mistake and switched to Spanish the next year. Realized his mistake again (the mistake being that he would be good at learning a new language) and stopped trying lol. C+
FLYNN
ENGLISH CLASS: Her essays are well written because Julie edits all of them. Like Alex, is always told that she is reading the text wrong?? The two of them bond mega over that. Just because she has a wider imagination does not mean she should be punished for it!!! B+
MATH CLASS: Geometry is her jam but algebra makes her wanna commit every degree of murder. Sometimes it clicks and sometimes it definitely does not. Probably dont ask her for help because shes awful at explaining things. B-
HISTORY CLASS: Hates it here!!!!!!!! She hates the curriculum, hates the lecturing, and constantly either feels bored or singled out in every lesson. Is advocating in the district for textbook and curriculum reform to include diverse and pan-ethnic studies. C-
SCIENCE CLASS: Her favorite class!!!!!! Loves everything about it. She isnt learning how the world works through history but instead through the facts of science. She feels invincible in the lab and like she has so much more to discover. She particularly enjoys astronomy. A+
LANGUAGE: Spanish so that Julie could help her out!!! Can barely utter more than 2 sentences in conversation but is perfect on paper and that's more than half of the battle. A-
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sanshine · 3 years
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i'm from croatia, and those are interesting combos ngl tho math is 😬 but i'm glad you ended up with latin, and actually since you know german i went to sprachliche gymnasium (i have no idea how it's called in english lmao) and the first two years latin was mandatory then other two italian, so i learned italian too and you are so right, latin gives a nice foundation for italian so it was easier to learn it (tho now i don't remember much tbh), i love how connected they are too, i love learning new languages, i'm currently majoring in swedish and i always find connections to german or sometimes even english in it and it makes it easier
and yes, americans and well germanic language speaking people really can't roll their Rs, it's sometimes funny, tho i cringe so bad when they try to pronounce slavic names.... they'd probably even mispronounce my name lmao
pls the math part was a pain 😭😭 we ended up having descriptive geometry in the last 2 years of high school and that was honestly everyone's nightmare because there was only one teacher at the whole school who taught this subject AND HE DIDNT EVEN UNDERSTAND IT VERY WELL HIMSELF 😭😭😭 he'd explain the process to us and make a mistake and then the result would be wrong or the computer program he was using wouldnt work for him AND HE'D JUST BE LIKE "IDK WHAT HAPPENED HERE BUT Y'ALL WILL FIGURE IT OUT" spoiler alert: we didn't. it was horrible dshbvjhfvb i was lucky enough to have passed somehow, even tho barely, i did hfbvjdbfvhdsf but most of my class had reaaally big trouble with this subject lol
omg swedish!! i used to loooooove the language when i was smaller dhvbjdfvb sweden used to be my dream country and i was determined to move there when i grow up lmao fhbsdfvb if you know english and german swedish definitely becomes super easy!! i also don't remember very much anymore but its a very pretty language <3
pls bjfvhdsfvb im a slav myself and have a slavic name WHICH ISNT EVEN THAT DIFFERENT FROM THE INTERNATIONAL VERSION OF THE NAME but whenever austrians called me by it they botched it so much 😭😭😭 because obviously they dont have trouble pronouncing their own version of it (the intl. version) but once its slightly different???, they put the accent on the wrong syllable and like ????? it sounds so weird jfvbsdhfbs and going by biba didnt help either bc they just made fun of the nickname for sounding like biber 💀
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inyoursheets · 3 years
Text
i got tagged by the kind @bourbon-ontherocks​ to do the language tag game thingy so let’s goooo
below the cut bc my english language journey has many twists and turns (jk im just a wordy person) (in writing) (as you may know by now)
How many languages do you speak?
two bc im an embarrassment to all my high school modern language teachers. so just dutch and english im afraid
What’s your native language?
my first language is dutch
Which language you’re most comfortable with?
it’s unnerving as hell but............it’s increasingly becoming english? youd think dutch would be the answer and it is in some ways, but considering most of my degree was in english, i genuinely struggle to express myself in dutch more when speaking on topics related to my field. so basically whenever someone tries to debate me im like !! i know but i dont know how to say this in dutch !! aah !! help !!! many thoughts, zero coherent sentences
the only reason im less comfortable w english is when speaking, mostly bc of my pronunciation. speaking english is something i do considerably less compared to reading, writing, and listening in/to english, especially now that im done w my studies.
also! i notice that while i understand the meaning of english words, sometimes when i deliberately literally translate them in my head (a much slower process than the intuitive way i normally speak/listen to english) the meaning hits me more? like, it sinks in a little more, it lands closer to home? english not being my first language means it creates some emotional distance from what im talking about.
so, i now sometimes try to deliberately seek out books and articles in dutch on important topics, bc that way i take in more of the depth of meaning and i feel addressed more directly on an intuitive level. does that make sense? for example, reading about racism and white privilege in english gives me a little more distance from the subject tho it shouldn’t, by virtue of it being in a language that is not the one i was raised with. so especially topics relating to (my) societal privileges, i try to also engage with in dutch, and not just in english. im not gonna stop learning about them in english, there’s a fuckton more information out there on any topic, really, in english, and so many people i learn so much from speak english. but i gotta keep reminding myself to also consume dutch articles/books/etc., especially when it’s very important that i really hear what’s being said
Where or how did you learn English?
formally? i started in primary school and then all of high school (we dont have middle school here, fyi). but really, what helped the most was reading books and watching tv shows and films in english.
first, id read the dutch translation of a book. then id read the english version, already knowing the story. then slowly i got to a point where i didnt need to already know the book before being able to read it in english.
same with tv and film -- first id watch dubbed versions of tv shows, which is common practice in the netherlands with shows aimed at a young audience (that’s the extent of it as far as i can tell - other than kids’ movies, films in the cinema are not dubbed). then i got to a point where i could watch those same shows in english with dutch subtitles (shows airing earlier in the day would be the dubbed version, and in the evening theyd be subbed). then i got to a point where i could watch shows that aren’t dubbed in the first place, with dutch subtitles. then i got to the stage where i watched shows with english subtitles. and now i forget subtitles exist and only watch things in english. the only time i’ll turn on (english) subtitles is if there are people whose accents i find more difficult to understand.
i think consuming media in english in these stages (which took years! slow process! happened alongside of high school english classes!) is what helped me learn english the most, next to formal training. that’s really how my vocab improved and how it keeps improving, i guess. tho the amount of times i encounter a word i dont know the meaning of has significantly lessened
(also what helped is living in sweden and in the uk for a few months. no choice but communicating in english. and like i said, most of degree was in english so i had to read and write in english like every day. in conclusion: being surrounded with english on a daily basis is why im at this level, not just from watching hannah montana)
When outlining a fic, which language are you thinking in?
ok so i dont really outline fics ??? it’s more like. a few bullet points of vague ideas (in english) and then i start. but if i were to finally get my shit together and actually properly outline, id do so in english
When planning a fic, which language are you thinking in?
yeah also in english
Is the first draft in your native language, or is it in English?
also english. it wouldnt even occur to me to draft or outline in dutch. i might if the show itself was in dutch but since it’s in english....ok wait no i wouldnt, im far too lazy to translate a whole draft and i commend people that do!
What do you [think] of your English?
ummmmm well. i think i could improve on the speaking front and that my pronunciation leaves a lot to be desired. and i think i could stand to be a little less arrogant sometimes bc i tend to think i know meanings of words but sometimes i dont know the exact nuance of a word or all of its meanings. so if i were a little less cocky about the whole ordeal id probably improve more. annnnd bc these days i learn most new words on online, i should be more proactive about figuring out where terms originate from and pay attention to whether a word or a phrase is okay for me to use or not (like not appropriating AAVE).
other than that i think my english is fine. and i think that me thinking in english more often than in dutch means im what dutch people talk about when they say dutch is dying out lmaoooo you’re WELCOME
im tagging................. ok im actually not even sure who in this fandom doesnt have english as a first language? so im just gonna tag fic writers and hope they speak multiple languages. like my wife @mrslackles (i should know this about my wife! sorry!) or @bethsuglywigs ?? @septiembur ??? @riosnecktattoo ???? somebody pls send help. ok you know what im just gonna double tag @bathroombreaks and @missmaxime
also whether i accurately tagged you or not, no pressure. also if you’re reading this and english isnt your first language, TAG YOU’RE IT
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sailorhyunjinz · 3 years
Note
Part 1 of Hyunjin and Me Fantasy:
*I like to base my fantasies off of real details*
It all starts when Hyunjin was a kid and when he lived in the U.S., but instead of him staying in Las Vegas for only a year he stays in Miami bc that's where I'm from tehe from age 5 all the way to age 17, which I'm pretty sure is the age he became a trainee.
Hyunjin's parents moved to Miami for good work opportunities and they stayed in an a decent, cute apartment appropriate for a family 3 and a small dog. Nicely decorated as well and Hyunjin's room was decorated the way he wanted. Now for my family, my mom was an International Interior Designer?? don't question it which meant she's decorated houses overseas as well, my father was a multi-occupational entrepreneur so he had many brands and services. In the time before I was born he was an English teacher in Korea so by the time he came back he was like on a Felix level of Korean (which is pretty good). We lived in one of the luxury apartments that was suited well for me, my parents, and my little brother. When he came back to the states he decided to start a language tutoring business and he was the first employee who was teaching English.
By the time Hyunjin's and his parents arrived they heard about this tutoring service because they knew a pretty decent amount of English, but not Hyunjin so they took this chance so he could learn, then he started to get lessons from my father. He taught these lessons to him after school and me and Hyunjin went to the same Charter School in Miami. Our parents actually made a connection with each other because they made Hyunjin's parents feel more at ease by being able to speak Korean fluently, both of my parents actually. In those years my father was an English teacher in Korea my mother was also with him and she got a chance to learn and understand the language too. Eventually, me and Hyunjin met. It was during his 3rd tutoring lesson when my mom had a parent-teacher confess after school and Hyunjin and my dad were still in their lesson. Earlier Hyunjin's mother explained that he didn't really have too many friends and that since he barely knew any English it was difficult for him. They all came together parent to parent about maybe introducing Hyunjin to me to see how it goes. And it went pretty well he said "Hi, my name is Hyunjin" in a shy and cute manner and I said "Hi, I'm Laila" a little nervous to be completely honest. We started playing together, we had the same kindergarten class so it was easier for us to see each other, and his English improved quickly after that once we spoke to each other more often and he came around more kids who spoke English. Once me and Hyunjin were able to have a full conversation in fluent English I asked him to teach me Korean even though after listening to our parents speak it almost everytime they saw each other I picked up quite a bit already, you know how impressionable kids are. With this connection that me and Hyunjin had we became best friends and always tried out best to have the same classes for school 🤣 which I've done in real life so I say we were successful in doing this. We started going over to each other's houses and he introduced me to Korean food and sense my dad was Jamaican and my mom was Dominican he was introduced to Caribbean food. That's just what happened when we went to each other's houses. Everytime I went to his house I learned a little bit more Korean which helped a lot because I wanted to visit Korea one day. As Hyunjin got older we started becoming a lot closer to the point to where I started to have feeling for him but I wasn't sure if he felt the same way.
I might tell part 2 once your ready 😁😁
AAAWH THIS IS SOOO CUTEEEEE that its like based on your real life and ah its so cute
hyunjin was very thankful for you being his friend when he himself had a difficult time making friends, there wasnt much that he could talk to with his peers but since you had parents that knew korean and since his parents knew yours well he didnt hesitate talking to you since he felt safe and something united the two of you. he loved visiting your house after school, always staying for dinner and enjoying the caribbean food your parents prepared, he also always brought a ton of korean snacks in his backpack that the two of you sneakily eat during class and during break whilst sharing headphones and listening to music, him always telling you how his dream was to become a well-known singer and you saying that he'd have to take you with him to tours to which he agreed with a bright smile. basically the two of you were inseparable even during your teenage years and this close connection became scary once you realised that you liked hyunjin, in a different way than you had ever done before.
ah please tell more!! this was fun ^^
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selfcareparker · 3 years
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okay fghsgdj yes you can say girl ! my pronouns are she/her :) okay but fr pause, i read this like 3 minutes after you posted it (or at least my notif said 3mins lmao) bUT IM IN BED AND I USUALLY HAVE MY COMPUTER OPEN WITH YOUR RESPONSE SO I MAKE SURE I ADDRESS EVERYTHING AND THEN SEND IN THE ASK ON MY PHONE HDGSJSH anyway, time to get my ass up 😔 but wait i find you so funny like honestly, reading that cracked me all the way up. and i feel the “lol” thing so hard!!!! idk why i do it all the time (i’m tryna stop) but i’ll say something with lol at the beginning and lol at the end... it might be a defense mechanism at this point lol (😔) AND (i need to stop with the uppercase too it’s not funny anymore) I DONT KNOW WHY I LAUGHED SO HARD JDHSK WHEN YOU SAID ALSO AGAIN HAHAHAH LIKE UR HAHHAH also my sleep schedule is not pretty either lmao but i’m homeschooled so i never have to get up for anything? hhdhsis idk but i’m glad you slept!! you need sleep!!
also (pls no i cannot) why did i not know what ykwim meant until i reread this?? like it makes so much sense- anyway! i think it’s so cool that you’re excited for university! idk why but i do lol like you’re getting ready for the future (masters degree and all that) & you’re (maybe) going to england anyway so that’s cool haha (hopefully when you go you can see your relatives 🤞🏾)
the fact that you get happy seeing my asks i- 💓💓
you make me wanna go to London & England so bad urghhhh like i’ve only been out of the country once (to Canada for a family reunion) but it sounds so prettyyyyy & i’m so sorry that cov*d is messing everything up and i hope you can see your relatives soon :(
now to address the whole english speaking/writing: I FIND THAT SO WEIRD DUHSKSJ i don’t know how an english speaking person could say that if you don’t write it 100% grammatically correct.... that it’s wrong? when literally, over here at least, WE’RE SO GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT HAHHAAH in both the way we talk and write!! and lol you’re welcome,, AND THE PARAGRAPH DID MAKE SENSE HDHSJSH & your rant is fine because... that is actually a bit ??? bc no one writes with 100% grammar lol
OH MY GOSH (see this uppercase thing is addictive) YOU STUDIED LATIN FOR 6 YEARS??? that’s really cool 🥺 the way that you know/speak 3+ languages i- NOT EVEN 3+ LIKE 6+ (german, english, latin, french, serbian, italian, and everything that comes with latin lmao) even if it’s just a tiny bit like wowee. it is really fascinating!!! i had the opportunity to take latin and i... didnt. i took art instead BUT ONLY CUZ MY FRIENDS WERE IN THAT CLASS AND ART LOOKED FUN IM SORRY
PLEASE WHY DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE?? that sounds so fricking cool tell your mom (mum or mama it’s really fine lol) that she sounds awesome. i think Jamaica would be fun either way!! i mean it looks pretty from pictures? i was a baby so i honestly have no recollection hahaha
LMAOO NOT U SAYING THIS IS LONGER THAN SOME OF MY FICS- PLEASE GIRL IM TELLING YOU I VERBALLY LAUGHED HAHAHAHAHAH but yea you really don’t need to apologize i like reading everything you say 🥺 HDKSHS AND UR FINE WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT ME BEFORE uhhh hmm uhh lemme think i, well, i saw chaos walking yesterday (big tom holland fan over here) and it was alright.. my mom acted a fool at all the jump scares LMAO but it was funny... since i’m talking about movies (this is hella random i know) but i like shark movies HDKJSSJ my favorite is the meg (it’s so good ohmigosh) and the 47 meters down movies aren’t bad either... i have two younger brothers... iiiii AM IN LOVE WITH MUSIC PHEW anddd i’m homeschooled (i think i mentioned that lol) i think that’s a good amount ahahaha AND IM HUNGRY RN JDHSJ
now. please. let me address the edit. i just want you to know that.. when i talk about your fics and i finish them and everything i’m not looking for more? like obviously if you’re writing i’m gonna read it but you don’t need to feel pressured or anything (idk if you do) to put more fics out lol like they’re great and i’m just sending the praise bc i love the ones that are there :’) but i’m so happy you’re working through your writers block!!! yay so so happy for you!!! and PUHLEASE anything you write is fantastic, i feel the exact same way when i write but girl. you’re fine. it’s gonna be great. (idk if this made any sense but... okay)
(and my cousin calls her mom mama so it’s really okay hahah i even call my mom mama sometimes) (and where you got the number “16 sentences” beats me but i still cracked up) (is this me pretending i had tags? maybe) HAHAHAHA OK BYE ❤️❤️ why did this take me so long to send i have no clue, AND WHY AM I OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING I SAID SHAJSHSJ ANYWAY BYE btw i love us too... like iconic // lovely anon 💓
me reading this:
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also the dedication you put into sending me stuff— like with the laptop and phone and ahsksk 🥺🥺🥺
i’ll update you when i’ve started uni btw, i’m getting more and more excited every single day haha but i still have 3 weeks until it starts and even then I’ll obviously have to get used to it and everything, but you’re making me even more excited about it sksjshsg
yeah i wanna go to england too dkshsh let’s be sad together over the fact the we can’t travel eksjsh😔😭 but hopefully the wait will make it even better in the end <33 also i talk to loads of relatives over the phone at least once a week so it’s not too bad for me! but i miss their house 😭lmao
and i knowww snshsh so many native english speakers just make so many mistakes— and obviously i get that some things are slang but some things are simply wrong ajsh, the thing is no one has ever told me that my english is bad (i know it’s not bad anyway, but i’m still insecure) or no one has ever pointed out any mistakes, but yeah it’s mostly just insecurity dkshsg but yes thanks for saying what you said (previously as well as in this ask)😌🥰
Okay now for latin— girlll i don’t blame u for choosing art over latin esp. when all of your friends are doing art as well!! I’d choose art over latin as well lol skshsg but in year 6 we had to choose between latin and french, and at the time i didn’t like french? which was dumb of me and now i wanna learn french ekdhs but i don’t regret choosing latin at all bc if i properly learn french one day then i’ll already know understand loads of stuff (or at least some stuff lol) just thanks to latin 😌😌 but still, art>>>latin skskshshgs
I wanna watch chaos walking too!!! But i don’t get when/where/how it’s out lmao, cinemas are still closed here so i’ll either have to wait or find it somewhere online... il*egally 🥰 i don’t have high expectations at all btw but i like daisy and tom and the dog🥺 so i think i’ll enjoy it
GIRL SHARK FILMS SHARK FOLMS SKSJSHSHS okay so there are a few classics i haven’t watched yet, and also a few new ones that i haven’t seen yet BUT I LOVE SHARK FILMS SO MUCH SKSHSGSGSKK the first like proper shark film i ever watched was the shallows (which i like but my brain is still too small to comprehend what happened at the end (i mean i get it but i just can’t imagine it— idek if you’ve seen the film but skshhs)) and after watching it three times it does get a bit boring (but now whenever i see pictures or videos of big waves i’m just waiting for a shark to show up like come ON SKSJSG
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^^^that pic/scene really traumatised me sksjsh but i still like the film
I only watched jaws like a few months ago, and i get that it’s a classic and also that it’s old and they just didn’t have the best.. equipment or special effects or whatever but i mean... look at meg and then look at jaws.... no disrespect to jaws at ALL but the meg is so much cooler. (That one scene on the boat where the shark just JUMPS OUT OF THE WATER AND SKSJSHHSUSJHA i get such a shock every time it’s so good (and the dog aww aksjshssli 🥺🥺🥰 and the boy with the ice cream lmao he’s iconic)
47 metres down, wow, i liked that film too. (i’ve only watched the original/first one i think) i mean that is such a fucking nightmare scenario like ALSJDHSNEMSKDJSHSJSKWBALSODUEWBSLDKHDJSNSKSKSHSGEBWKAISGSHEKEKSKLDJDJDHDHSHAGGA (that’s the best way i can express my feelings about that scenario lmao)
oh and i’ve recently been watching more horror films but i don’t know if they’re for me... I like the thrill and whatever but i just end up being scared for my life when i have to go to the bathroom at night or when i’m trying to sleep bc suddenly my mind is flooded with all the scary shit from the films 💀💀💀
and music i mean... you know those people who just don’t listen to music? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM???? i honestly like all genres especially in the last year, i am IN LOVE with Nicki Minaj + Megan andddd Stormzy and i like Harry Styles but i prefer his first solo album (and obviously one direction has bangers i have a throwback 1D session at least once a month), I also love MGK especially his new stuff and otherwise i mostly listen to german artists lmao. So who do you like?💖 (WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOURE GONNA SAY SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SKAHAGUS IF YOU LISTEN TO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MUSIC DONT JUDGE ME AJSHDJS) (i know you’re not gonna judge me but)
++ @ the thing you said about writing, don’t worry, i don’t feel pressured at all!!! (not by you and not by anybody else.. except myself sometimes lol) and i’m just very happy that you liked my fics 🥰🥰🥰 and if i start telling people that i’m writing a fic then sometimes it puts a bit of (healthy) pressure on me. like yes sometimes it really is writer’s block, but sometimes i really am just lazy ddkshhd so now that i’ve told you i’m writing a fic i might get my ass up quicker than i would if i hadn’t told anyone 😌😌😌
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In your opinion, which fast food place has the best fries? i love me some mcdonald’s fries.
Are there hurricanes where you live? they happen every once in a while
What do you hate the most about yourself? I'd really rather not get into this right about now. same
What song are you listening to right now? nothing but catch fire by 5sos is stuck in my head.
What was your first concert? brad paisley 🤠.
What’s your favorite Johnny Depp movie? willy wonka and the chocolate factory
Who did you last say “I love you” to? My sister. probably same
Do you like pumpkin pie? it’s about the only pie i DO like.
Do you know anyone named Austin? no one i like
Do you know anyone who is having a baby? my friend just gave birth to a baby about a week ago
What was the last thing you cried about? i cried in the car on the way home from work last night while listening to jet black heart lmaooo.
Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? i dont drink milk.
Do you think you are an argumentative person? Definitely not. agreed, i’m conflict avoidant to a fault
How many deep dark secrets do you have? i dont think i have any
What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? the hot wings from bonchon were pretty f’n spicy
Who last called you sexy? i dont remember
Would you class yourself as a good role model? i think for the most part
Are you scared of the dark? sometimes i am
Do you have a motto? nah.
Who did you last see on webcam? my club committee from school
Do you need a haircut? i just got one about a month ago so not atm
How would you react if your mother told you that she was pregnant again? that would be impossible considering she’s in menopause and has her tubes tied
You log into Facebook and see the red ‘1’ notification next to the message icon. Who do you want it to be? no one i hate facebook
Would you rather exercise alone or with other people? most of the time alone but sometimes i’ll exercise with my sister or in a structured workout class
What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? any bc i suck at video games
Ever watch the show Supernatural? nope
Ever heard of flavored honey? If so, what’s you’re favorite flavor? i’ve heard of it but never tried it
Do you remember what your favorite show was when you were little? i went thru hardcore icarly and victorious phases, also LOVED spongebob
Do you put anything besides cheese on grilled cheese sandwiches? sometimes i’ll do bacon on mine
When it comes to books, what do you think is the “perfect” amount of pages? the length of a book has never deterred me from reading it, ever.
Would you ever be interested in going scuba diving? maybe
Out of all of your friends/relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? not to toot my own horn but me
Are any of your fingers or toes deformed? What about the nails? no
When is the last time you cried? didnt i already answer this
Would you ever date somebody that has been divorced more than once? mm prob not
What are some stereotypically nerdy things that you like? i guess marvel and space would count
Have you ever attended a wedding that ended where the bride and groom didn’t actually get married? What happened? no but i’ve attended several weddings of people who have quickly divorced
What scares you the most about becoming a mother (hypothetically, if you don’t want to have children)? raising them to be a good well adjusted person.
Would you ever want a job in fashion? What would you enjoy about that type of job? prob not
Would you ever be a surrogate mother? nope
What do you think would be the best and worst parts about being a twin? i would love having that strong of a bond with someone and having someone to go thru life with but i would also feel like i never had anything that was truly mine esp in early childhood
Do you feel that your childhood was more rough compared to others around you? my childhood was great compared to a lot of peoples and i’m extremely thankful for that
How would you react if you found out today that you were actually adopted? i would feel betrayed that i’d lied to for 20 years
Have either of your parents ever cheated on one another before, that you know of? How would you react if you found out today that one of them cheated? not that i know of and again i would feel crushed and betrayed
Do you like cleaning and organizing? when i’m in the mood for it
How would you react if you found out you were infertile? If you don’t plan on having kids to begin with, what is a long-term goal you’d be crushed to find out was impossible to achieve? i would definitely be upset bc i want to have at least one biological kid but in the end i would find just as much joy from adopting a child and giving them a loving home.
Would you take your dream job if it were out of the country? it depends on what other factors are in my life at the time
Have you ever been robbed? no
Is anyone close to you an alcoholic? my friend at college and that’s not even a joke that’s genuine. i think he’s getting the help he needs tho which is good
Have you ever dumped anyone? no
What kind of tea do you drink? I hate tea. same it tastes like dish water
Do you know anyone in a gang? No, and I hope I never do. same
What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? omg i still remember this bc i was blown away by how sweet it was. so in 9th grade i had one friend in my pe class and idek how we started talking but we just stuck by each other bc we didn’t have anyone else and we sat at our own table right by the teacher’s desk in health class and we actually became pretty close friends throughout the year well anyway i mentioned my birthday was coming up and she asked me what i wanted and i was like no you don’t have to and she was like do you want flowers and i was like sure why not and i didn’t think she was gonna actually do it but then on my birthday she shows up to health class with these beautiful purple flowers and i was so shocked that she actually got them for me so yeah i’ve never forgotten that ever. she moved away after that year and i never saw her again but i hope she’s doing well
What is your orientation? Gay? Straight? Metrosexual? straight but i have questioned before.
Have you ever done anything really dangerous or illegal with friends? nothing too wild
Name three feelings you’re feeling right now: bored, content, excited
And the reasons for these feelings? bored bc i’m at work, content bc i like the way my life is going rn, excited bc i get to go back to school and see all my college friends soon.
How do you feel about your life right now? pretty pleased at the moment
Is it easy for you to like yourself? Why or why not? no. it’s a conscious choice to like yourself that you have to make everyday and some days that choice is easier to make than others
What subjects come naturally to you? English, some aspects of science. agree with this, i’m very good at english and i understand some science
What subjects do not? MATH
Do you read more fiction or more non-fiction books? fiction but sometimes i like a good non fiction book.
How has today been for you? pretty good nothing too exciting
What did you do? watched tv and went to work
Are there any candles lit in the room you’re in? no
Are there any lava lamps near you? nope.
Do you like cats or dogs better? Cats. agree i have 4
Are any of your friends a pothead? yes, several
What’s a goal you’re trying to accomplish soon? start working out consistently again and get into therapy.
Are you a high maintenance person? nope
The last time you yelled as loud as you could, what was the reason? i was at a karaoke night
Have you ever been heartbroken? yep
Who did that to you? my ex crush
Did you go through an ugly stage as a kid? ohhhh yeah
The last type of sandwich you made or ate: a ham and cheese sandwich with pepperoni and mayo
The last time you spent most of the day in bed: when i was at school and i had stayed up until 6am the night before.
The last friend or acquaintance you made: my coworker
The last thing you took pictures of: a rainbow
The last time you were scared: when i thought a car was following me the other night
The last thing you looked up online: manic panic hair dye.
The last thing you disagreed with: i don’t remember.
Does your house have a separate laundry room? yep
Do your parents still help you financially? yes, a lot
Does your car have a backup camera? nope.
Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? not to where they’ve been arrested
Have you ever had a pet that lived to be really old for its breed/species? my childhood cat lived to be 18 which was pretty impressive.
What was the last strong scent you smelled? my cat’s fart
Have you ever told someone to their face that they were ugly? no way
Is your bed against more than one of your walls? nope
Have you ever been attracted to someone’s parent? um yes some people i know have dilfs i’m sorry
Have you ever pole danced before? no
Have you ever broken into someone’s house? no.
Have you ever seen a live bat? yup at a beach house in the obx
What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? i bought bonchon for my friends and i one time which was just about $100
Have you ever taken a woodshop class? no
How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? as little time as possible.
Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? i had one math teacher in high school that consistently made me feel dumb bc i needed extra help to understand the concepts and couldn’t do mental math that fast so didnt like her
Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? closest i’ve been was second row
Are your parents supportive of you? yep
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aidenoes · 3 years
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Im kinda bored so this is a little story time about a toxic best friend i had for many many years
Tw : s*lf-h*rm, s*icid*l thought, forced coming-out
To make the story easier let's call her Fish.
So... it started in primary school, i had moved out into a new city when i was in 3rd grade. That's when i first met her and we never really talked much. Then came 5th grade when we actually became friends.
And middle school happened and that's when everything went downhill real fast. In 6th grade i was still friend with her and i tried to get along with her other friend who was a bitch at that time, and i was too, so we never got along (even tho she is now my best friend bc we realised how much Fish was toxic lmao). So i had made new friends and she had too but we still made up over time and the other girl wasn't hanging out with us anymore.
Moving on to 7th, there was a new girl that came at the school at the beginning of the school year (who is also my bestfriend, props to her for staying with me all these years) and Fish immediately started talking to her. Eventually we have a group of 5 friends :me, her, our boyfriends and the new girl. The thing is that there was a trend of s*lf-h*rming yourself just to pretend to be depressed and sad, and Fish was one of the people who followed that trend. Me, being an absolute idiot, had no idea of the gravity. Well, i mean, i knew it was bad but my bestfriend was doing it so it's fine right ? No, it was not and i almost gave in to but i was afraid to harm myself so i never did. And that example is just to show how much i copied her, i destroyed my relationship bc i wanted to be like her and my ex-boyfriend was so good to me. Her relationship was like an light switch, you never knew when they were back together or not. We also had a skype group and messenger group of just three people: me, her and the new girl. Me and the new girl would badly roleplay and she would tell me, and only me, that i was cringy and leave the group chat like that. And i had no right to tell her i didn't like something about her, but she could though ? I let it slip anyway. I thought i was really happy, then came the worst year of my school life.
8th grade. At this point, Fish and her boyfriend had broken since he apparently abused her (im not sure since she is prone to lying) but i was still in good terms with him. Well we were not the best of friends but i wouldn't punch him (now i would bc he became such a fucking dick). But Fish started to become distant, as if she didn't want me around anymore but i ignored it thinking it was all in my head. One day, our teacher assigned us new places in class and i was next to her ex-boyfriend. We of course talked in class and laughed together. But out of nowhere, she started doing the sign where you slit your throat with your finger, y'know ? I thought she was doing it for kidding and i was just really confused, it was break after that class anyway so i can ask her wtf that was. She came to me and thought i was plotting against her with her ex-boyfriend and just told me to go fuck myself basically. I waited for my now ex-boyfriend and my friend to come-out of their class and explained to them what happened while containing my tears. They tried to go to her and try to understand wtf went wrong and funfact: nothing went wrong and she was just being a bitch and i later learned she just wanted to move on and discard everything from the past year, including me. But i didn't know that, i thought i broke everything, i thought i broke our group friend, i felt guilty and i felt, alone. My boyfriend that got out of school just before me went to my mom that was there to come pick me up, that i wasnt really well and he went away when i got out. My mom did ask me what was wrong and i told her that i'll explain when we're home. At home i explained everything and broke down in my moms arm, i dont know if i cried out of anger or sadness, but seeing me cry was enough for my mom to hate her with all her guts. I've felt so lonely after that. I had no one to eat lunch with, i had no one to be in group in class with and i had no idea of how to occupy my brain when i had no one to talk to, i read in the morning waiting for the friends i had left, i would draw whenever i had to wait alone and i would eat fast to get out the fastest possible. I also lost everything i was since at that time i was like a sponge of personality and just squeeze out whatever the personality people wanted out of me. I had lost everything and i didn't want to be here anymore, i just wanted to die honestly. And i think i wouldve if i didnt think there was my family and my friends. However, it does not end here ! Bc my dumb ass made so many more mistakes ! Bc one day in our technology class i had to work with her for an assignment and we gradually made up until we became friend again, but i was still wary of her and my s*icidal thoughts were still very present. So i was still very toxic and pushing the people that were there for me away. My boyfriend broke up with me. I didnt know what to do, but looking back this was such a good decision for him and for me. I am so thankful for him to have broke up with me, but at that moment i was a bit hurt but at the same time i saw it coming so i had so time to grief about it. A month later my mom decided to bring me to Mauritius (where she is from) bc she thought i had a hard time no having her around for the first time which is kinda true but not all the truth. I had no wifi and no way of contacting anyone. That was so refreshing ! That's when i started to understand that i had the right to think for myself first and not be a fucking carpet for everyone to walk on. I was not out of the shit but i started to understand how to get out.
9th grade, was my savior. This was the best year of my life with nothing to worry about except an exam at the end. You remember the girl in 6th grade that was a bitch ? Yeah we became close friends during that year bc i realised she was a bitch bc she was badly influenced on in 6th and 5th grade. And the new girl remember her ? That's also the year when we got close, the year where we became best friends, when i learned to be and love myself and the year when i started to stand up for myself. I have some bad daddy issues and i have almost always shared my problems with Fish but i started sharing less toward the end of 8th grade. One day i was complaining that i had to be basically the messenger bird of my parents and she looked at me annoyed and tell me 'why don't you go to the police ?'. Like we didnt ??? Like she thinks that my dad was harassing my mom and we didnt ?? That's basically saying 'don't be' to someone who is sad. And i explained that to her and she was like 'don't complain to me if you're going to flip off like that when im giving you a solution', excuse me bitch... what ? I was hella mad. She came fake apologising like a few weeks later. And one day she came out to me as pansexual, great for her, and i was also questionning my gender and thought i was genderfluid so i came out to her. She was like 'oh ok' and i sent her some memes about genderfluidity and she was like 'stop this is annoying'. So i shut my trap. I also learned that during a school i didnt went she faked some anxiety and was being a bitch bc her friend wouldnt come to a shop with her even so another one was ok with going with her. I eventually started to understand that she was bad for my mental health, so i just started ghosting her bc i just didnt want to talk with her anymore and i didnt know how to confront her. She came up and grabbed and pulled me by my backpack that was full of shit just to ask me why i didnt answer to one of her text. I was so scared i just told her i wasnt feeling well and just told her i needed time. The year went by it was great and i didnt want to be in cold with Fish but i also didnt want to be her friend, i wanted to just be classmates, however when she was told this she understood : 'they want to be friend again'. So she clung with us next year.
10th grade, was last year and was full of drama. And we only had 6 months of school. 10th grade is the first year of highschool and the only year where we don't have an exam. I also had a forced new friend that we're going to call Taz so we don't get mixed up. She was also very clingy and it felt like having a leech stuck to me. And Fish was being very, let's say embarrassing and making us feel uncomfortable. She would make ton of sexual joke and we told her it was making us uncomfortable but she would apologise just to do it again the week later so we just gave up. She also outed me in class, thankfully the class was really noisy and only my bestfriend heard it but this fucking bitch just asked outta nowhere 'so you're still on this whole thing about being genderfluid or what ?' And she wasnt talking low, she was talking loud and clear. I felt so embarras and i hoped that no one else heard it. I answered as very quietly 'no.. i think im genderqueer now' and she just said ok. That's also around when i discovered im bi so i was so glad that i didnt tell her about that. And a few months later there was some shit going around about bullying and Fish was one of the targets. And let's say that our english teacher held up a trial so i opened up my big ass mouth to talk and defend Fish. And guess what, Taz just blurted out that i and my best friend were bullying her. Excuse me ? I defended her ass and when i talked to her about it she told me 'no you didnt, you just yelled at me once in physics'. So bc i yelled at her bc she wouldnt listen to me when we had to work i bullied her ? What a thank ! And when i tried to talk it out with Taz, she fucking ignored me and left. I was enraged. I was crying out of fucking rage and still aced a test in english. At the end i explained everything to my crush while i was walking home with her bc she lived next to my moms restaurant. When i stepped into the restaurant, there was my moms friend, which im kinda close to, and my mom who asked me how was my day i cried out of anger. They comforted me and supported me. At school, one day the assistant director called me and my best friend in his office. And told us that in highschool there are no bullying only misunderstandings (i dont really agree with that but anyway) and asked us our side of the story. We explained that we didnt get along with her anymore and made it very clear that we were uncomfortable with her but she wouldnt take a hint. And we left the office just like that. The assistant director probably told Fish our side and she never went to talk with us bc of covid.
Now, im in 11th grade, we do not talk anymore and this feel so much better. Now i'll just drop some bonus drama
She accused me of drowning her when it was her ex-boyfriend that did and made her scared of water, while i was there to support her when she was dealing with her phobia.
And her mom thought that i was a bad influence for her sweet sweet daughter when she was the one to incite me to c*t myself like paper, wow ok.
This is just a personal share and just maybe a way for others to recognise the toxic behaviors of fake friends.
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thebubblemaster · 4 years
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Its midnight and I gotta wake up at 5am to go to work tomorrow but I've been thinking about this for a while and I gotta get it off my chest!
Yall are always complaining about how english teachers find meaning in literature that isn't there and then go off and try to analyze media like youre writing a dissertation. And i can always tell which one of yall actually pays attention in English class bc some of yall don't understand what makes a good analysis! Some of yall just list evidence and expect it to stand for itself and some of yall just go off on explanations without providing any examples. Half the time i ask myself if the person even watched/read whatever it was in the first place! And this applies to both positive and negative analysis. Either way yall have to learn how to analyze things well bc sometimes I see a post I do not agree with but it's well written so I can see where they're coming from, but other times I'm just angry bc its obvious you either didn't pay attention in class or had shitty english teachers.
As someone who considers herself very good at writing analysis essays I can't just stand by and watch yall make fools out of yourselves. Not to flex but, ive been getting As on my last minute essays since freshman year of highschool, so you can be sure that that this advice isn't coming from an amateur.
Anyways, here's my tips on writing an adequate and organized essay for all of your academic and fandom needs.
Forget about the intro. Trust me. I've heard so many people say they get stuck forever on their introductions and it's heartbreaking. If I'm not writing something in class, I always write my introductions last.
Start with your thesis. This is the last sentence of your intro, and really the only important part of that whole paragraph. The basic formula for a thesis is something like, "In Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby, he shows that the American dream is futile through his use of symbolism of the green light, Gatsby's idealization of Daisy, and Gatsby's eventual death." Havent read the book in 5 years but you get the idea. You state what it is you think the author is doing and 3 ways you think you can prove it.
The first sentence of each body paragraph will introduce one reason and briefly elaborate on what it is about the reason you will focus on.
Gather evidence. Pick out exact quotes that appear to support the reasons you've provided in your thesis and separate them by each reason. Even if youre going to paraphrase or cite a scene as a whole as evidence, it's good to have the exact words recorded so you can reference them easier when you go back to actually write the essay. Dont forget to record the chapter and page number each one appears on so you can cite it later on. I usually gather more than I think ill need so I have options when I'm writing my analysis, but you'll need at least 2 per reason.
Explain why you think these quotes or scenes support the reason you gave. Why does the light represent Gatsby's unattainable goals? How does his perception of Daisy and her reality differ?
Connect it all back to the original point of your thesis. How does Gatsby's unattainable goal of a relationship with Daisy compare to the unattainable goal of the American Dream? How does America's perception of this dream and the realities of it's futility reflect in Gatsby and Daisy's relationship?
Repeat 3-6 for every body paragraph and you've got 60% of your essay done.
Conclusion. Restate the thesis. Give brief, one sentence summaries on how each of your paragraphs connect to your overarching point. End it with something like "It is due to Fitzgerald's use of symbolism and characterization that the message of the American Dream itself being an illusion throughout the novel is successful." Praise the author or something along those lines. Dont bring up anything new that you didnt talk about in your previous paragraphs.
Ok, back to the Introduction. The introduction is there to provide context for the analysis. Youre always supposed to write as if your audience has never read the book youre writing about. Introduce the author and the specific work your essay is about. Use the authors full name the first time you mention them and then just the last name every time after. Only mention things that are relevant to what you will be talking about. Keep it concise and build up to your thesis. Introduction paragraphs for analysis essays Do Not have to be long. In fact, it should be the shortest paragraph in the essay. 4-5 good sentences should be enough.
Now here are just some basic tips everyone should know
Book titles are typed in italics: The Great Gatsby. Poems and short stories are written in quotation marks: "The Raven," or"The Yellow Wallpaper."
Never use contractions. Ever. The only reason an apostrophe should be in there is if it's there to be possessive.
Don't use a thesaurus. Seriously. If you're not entirely familiar with a word, don't use it. It's obvious when someone has filtered their essay through one because they're usually unreadable. You don't have to use long words to get your point across.
DO NOT WRITE IN THE FIRST PERSON! There is no "I am going to write about" in a formal essay. This is obvious to anyone who is reading it. Dont say what you'll write about, just write about it!
Don't use words like "attempts" or say things like "this might connect to this" or whatever. State everything as of it is an undisputable fact. Be assertive with your points. It makes you look more credible and like you know what you're talking about.
Write in the presnt tense always even if the author is dead: "Fitzgerald uses symbolism." As well as about a character's actions of the book's events: "Daisy crashes the car and runs over the woman," "Gatsby throws lavish parties."
When teachers say avoid passive voice they mean the noun goes before the verb. "Nick drives the car" not "The car is driven by Nick."
It doesn't matter whether you agree with what you're writing. If you see evidence for a point and its the easiest thing to write about, just do it. No one will care or notice if it's not your real opinion.
If you can frame something in a way that will help your point, then do it. Even if at first glance its not exactly relevant.
You can make anything into an argument if you try hard enough. Which is basically what youre doing when writing an analysis essay, arguing that your interpretation is the right one.
Be as concise as possible. Avoid all tangents to your main point and stay on topic 100% of the time. This will help you keep your essay organized and your reader convinced that you have a solid grasp on the text.
Now go forth and make convincing arguments! Even if they are about weeb shit.
Thank you for your time.
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crystu-cii · 4 years
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WH E EZE WHAT A MOOD I NEVER PAY ATTENTION- if I'm paying attention in class it's bc it's english and I might be getting a part for reading in a play-- well.. might be preparing to make an excuse for why I can't, rather-
It's a trade-off, no classes, but I have two tests and an essay XDD But like.. no classes- XD I don't mind science and math tests XD the essay isn't favorable but eh--
Oms XDD I felt that- if my parents don't know I'm enby at this point.. idk y'all they literally bought me a binder XD tbf, my I'm Def Not Trans™ reason is very good bc I have back pain and genuinely can't fit into SO MANY TOPS-- ...but also like, dysphoria XD
He hasss but like some people (even trans binary folks) think enbies aren't real/are faking it sO yeahh- at this point I think I'm just making up excuses jndk ooh I get that-- ik my sexuality (aroace) but I'm in a similar predicament bc I tend to have a hard time sticking to one name ;w; I currently go by two (Astrophel and Henry, plus whatever nicknames people wanna give me XD) and I don't like the idea of coming out and then not liking the name I came out with ;w; especially since I came out to someone with a name I really liked and then I started to Not Like It(twice actually ;w;)-- and telling people that something's changed is so strESSFUL-- not being confident in an aspect of yourself makes coming out so scary--
You're super valid too :3c and you are so nice oms such a wonderful individual--
HAHA omgg thank gosh for my english no one gotta read out anything- but english is still- ew XDDD
and omgg that definitely is a good reason to get a binder tho- i also wanted to get a binder! not that im thinking of being trans (yet- you'd never know xD) but i just really want to be flat chested- but 1. im kinda scared to ask my parents cause my mom will be bewildered asf to why i dont like my chest size xD- and 2. i feel like i would be more uncomfortable than i was before cause gosh i heard binders are hella tight and dangerous so im kinda scared over that, maybe you can tell me how wearing a binder is for you? if you are okay with that of course!
and holy really? i know there are people who don't like enby but i didnt think there can be people who support trans but yet dont support enby people- that just sounds so weird- is it really that hard to accept people as they are? 😔😔
and omg Astrophel sounds like such a good name!💞 i love it! i could easily nickname you Astro- which is actually also my brother's dog's name 😳😭❤💞💖💝❤️ but sorry to hear that its hard to stick to one name ! i can understand how that feels tho! ;0;
and LEGITT telling people that you change something possibly really big is just uhhhh its hard for some reason xD like for an example for my stickcat blog- it would be so hard to change something completely in it- so everything i do its like "ima just roll with it and hopefully it all TURNS OUT GREAT-" xDDD when it comes to coming out tho- i can tell thats also stressful- one time towards my friends i was like "HA OKAY SO UHHH NEVERMIND OF ME BEING (insert sexuality)-" XDD
man it reminds me one time when i had my first sleepover with my friends- we were talking about our sexualities and me and one of my friends were like "yo- what the f u c k are we??" XDDD it was pretty fun though xD
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