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#it doesn't have to be like this‚ my man!!! you have a support system now!!!
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a different kind of hang-up
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Randy's mom calls while they're in the middle of something, again. Benson tries his best to get Randy off the phone.
2.6k words. canon divergence, boys on the run. established relationship. blowjobs. smoking. Benson being a menace lol he can't handle not being the center of Randy's attention. read on ao3 here if that's more your speed.
Benson just can't keep his hands off him, even when his mom calls.
The phone rings for so long, so long, before Randy can get to it. The second it starts up Benson recognizes the ringtone and tightens his grip on Randy's hips, sags on top of him with his full weight. He pushes his tongue into his mouth with intentional fervor because he likes fucking around with fire and Mrs. Bradley is a five-alarm inferno.
Randy makes a panicked sound and tries to wriggle free to no avail. He taps Benson's chest, but Benson takes the hint and throws it away unopened, snags Randy’s wrist and pins it to the bed.
Randy twists his arm out of his grip and gives him a shove, leans his head away. "Benson–please–I gotta get this." He makes a grab for the phone on the nightstand.
"You really don't," Benson murmurs, taking hold of his jaw with one big hand and pulling his lips back into range.
Randy lets out a frustrated grunt that gets lost in Benson's mouth and shoves him again, harder, with both hands and a knee for good measure. Benson relents, topples lazily to the side and gives him this goofy, satisfied smirk that makes Randy’s stomach do a flip and he just can't deal with that right now.
"You're gonna get me in trouble," he complains as he sits up and snatches the phone.
"Aw." Benson stretches like a cat, folds his arms behind his head, all ribs and armpit hair and lean lines of muscle. "Now wouldn't that be a shame."
"Hi Mom," Randy says, hoping he sounds perfectly even-keeled and normal and not like he's been rolling around with another man in a motel bed. He remembers his erection at that moment, the worst possible moment, and blushes so hard he can feel the blood trading places. He grabs a pillow and shoves it over his lap like she can see through the phone.
"Randy, I don't like this." His mom starts every conversation like this these days. 
Randy bites back a sigh. "I know, Mom."
"This isn't a normal thing. Friends don't ask friends to help them move across the country last-minute without a plan."
They've been through this so many times he's lost count. At least his story gets more solid every time he repeats it. "I told you, Brian doesn't have a support system. I'm just trying to do a good deed." Brian is Benson, because Benson can't be Benson, because Benson is wanted for murder. 
Randy feels the mattress shift behind him and stiffens when calloused fingers brush against his skin. His mother's list of grievances fades in his ears as Benson worries at the waistband of his jeans. 
"Randy," Benson sing-songs softly at his hip. "Tell her you're in the middle of something."
Randy waves him away, tries to ignore the scratch of his beard and his lips on his skin and tune back into the conversation at hand. "You’re a kind and responsible boy, honey, people will take advantage of that." 
"I understand, Mom, but I'm–"
He feels the pinch of teeth on his waist, jerks and bites back a yelp. 
His mother is alarmed. "Randy? Are you okay? What happened?"
Randy scoots down the bed away from Benson, shoots him a dirty look. Benson rolls onto his back, runs a hand through his hair and flashes Randy an upside-down grin. 
"I'm fine, Mom. Stubbed my toe."
"Sorry," Benson says innocently. "You look fucking delicious, what do you want me to do about it?"
"Are you walking around barefoot? I raised you better than that, Randy. Where are you even walking, aren't you still driving?"
"Yeah, we just–we stopped to grab some food and…stretch our legs a little bit." 
Benson sits up suddenly and Randy flinches in anticipatory distress before he even speaks. "We can stretch something else if you want," Benson offers with a wiggle of his eyebrows.
Randy grits his teeth and ignores him, picks frantically at the seam of the pillow in his lap. 
"I bet you're eating like absolute garbage. All that fast food isn't good for your long-term health, you know. God knows you had plenty of that at–well. God knows you've had plenty of that." 
She clears her throat, recovers from the near-miss of mentioning the incident. The new incident. She’s had years of practice at sidestepping the elephant in the room, but nobody’s perfect, and this is a much bigger elephant. Randy has to admit that it's convenient, not having to dodge questions because they aren't being asked. 
"Where are you now?" she says by way of a subject change.
Benson crawls across the mattress on his knees and winds his arms around Randy’s waist, leans heavy against his back and sets his chin on his shoulder. He smells like sweat and nicotine. Randy grips the pillow like a lifeline. 
"We're, um…well, I think we're–"
He knows where they are. He knows exactly where they are. Eighteen miles outside of Glasgow, Kentucky. He knows where they're supposed to be, too, according to the fake route he mapped to sate his mother's anxious curiosity. He just can't quite remember what he told her last time, because his brain's still sloshing around in oxytocin and Benson’s kissing his neck, rubbing his chest, thumb catching on his nipple again and again. 
"I-I think we're about 40 miles from Benson," he says loudly, as though the volume adds certainty. 
"Benson?" his mom repeats, sounding alarmed, and Benson chuckles in his ear. 
"Careful," he mutters. 
"Branson!" Randy elbows Benson off of him and stands up, stumbles away from the bed. "I meant Branson. Sorry, I fuc–I messed up." He cringes.
Benson laughs, delighted. "Randy Bradley," he says in a mockery of Mrs. Bradley’s disapproving tone. 
"Randy Bradley," his mom says like an echo. "Watch your language." 
"Sorry. I’m sorry." Randy stalks away, pacing the length of the tiny room, shooting Benson a look of combined irritation and desperation that ultimately reads as pain. "It’s been–I didn’t sleep well last night." 
"You gonna tell her why?" Benson asks slyly.  
Randy flushes red hot, throws the pillow in his direction and misses by a mile. 
Benson winces. "Yikes, babe." 
He flops on his stomach and reaches for the cigarettes and lighter on the nightstand. His back is crosshatched with pink scratches, a familiar set of eight nail marks etched into his love handles. Randy feels a detached sense of something like pride in spite of himself. 
"We gotta work on your aim. Tone up those arms." Benson makes a jerk-off motion to help paint the picture. 
Randy drags a hand across his face. His brain is fraying at the seams. "You can’t smoke in here," he mouths at Benson, who looks him dead in the eye as he lights up and smiles around the cigarette. 
His mother is waxing vitriolic about the dangers of sleep aids. Randy heaves a harried sigh. "No, Mom, that’s–I don’t even know where to get benzos." 
"I do," Benson says helpfully. Randy shakes his head. Benson apparently takes this as an expression of doubt rather than exasperation. "I do," he insists. 
"So how many more days until you get to San Diego, hmm?" his mom says. "You’re not making very good time, honey. Just because you don’t have a job to come back to doesn’t mean you can just roam the countryside like some deadbeat hippie." 
"I know, Mom. It–it’s about the journey." 
"Fuck yeah it is," Benson agrees. 
"Brian’s never been out of Louisiana and neither have I, so we’re…we’re just seeing the sights together." 
"And how long will you be seeing the sights?" 
Randy leans against the wall, knocks his head back against the plaster. "I guess…I don't know. I’ll keep you posted, but…we’re not really on a schedule." 
Benson gets up from the bed and pads over. He invites himself into Randy’s space, boxes him in against the wall, touches his face, touches his ribs. He blows smoke out of the corner of his mouth as he looks him up and down. 
Randy can feel his own heart thudding in his throat, suddenly hyper-aware of his body and its proximity to Benson’s. It’s Pavlovian, almost, the way he draws him in like that. Derails his thought process like a punch to the gut.
"So what, this road trip just goes on forever?" 
"No, Mom." Benson hooks his fingers into Randy’s waistband. Randy meets his gaze, kind of forgets what he was saying. "Just, uh…just until we get to California, and then…and then back again." 
Benson takes another drag and exhales slow, opens his mouth and lets the smoke curl up and out. Randy breathes it in on reflex. His mouth waters. 
"Hang up the phone," Benson murmurs. His dark eyes are on fire. 
"It–I–I’ll be home before you know it," Randy says. 
Benson leans in and sideswipes Randy’s jaw with his chin, worries at his earlobe with teeth and tongue. "Randy." His voice is gravel and satin. The cigarette glows between his fingers in Randy’s periphery. He reaches further into his pants. "Hang up the phone," he whispers. 
"I hate to say it, but I just don’t believe you, Randy," his mom says. Her voice drips with disapproval, cold around a core of genuine concern. He knows she’s biting back so much more that she’d like to say, and he loves her for that. For trying to give him an inch even though he’s taking miles and miles. 
"I promise I’m okay, Mom," he says, tilting his hips towards Benson, who puts the cigarette between his lips and starts unbuttoning Randy’s jeans. "I would tell you if I wasn’t. I just…this is just something I need to do. Something I–I want to do." 
Benson catches his eye, winks at him. "Hang up," he mouths as he sinks to his knees. 
"Randy," his mom sighs. He closes his eyes and can picture her shaking her head. "I just worry about you, sweetheart." 
Benson’s pushing his shirt up and tugging his pants down and dragging his tongue up the ridge of his hip. Randy can feel the heat on his waist from the cherry between his fingers. In another life, that would scare him so bad it'd make him sick, the chance of getting burned. He feels differently about it now. Knows Benson won't hurt him, not without cause. Knows he could take it if he did. There’s something seductive about that, the power of that. The trust.
Of course, Benson’s hand on his ass and spit on his skin count for something too.
"Randy? Are you there?"
"Yeah…yeah. Sorry. I know that, Mom, I know you worry," he says. "And I’m sorry about that." 
It sounds hollow, even to himself, but he means it. He wishes it was different. That he didn’t have to lie. But that’s not an option, not for Benson, and he can’t be without him. They’re a package deal now and he likes it that way. Wants it that way. Wants him.
"Please, baby," Benson mumbles against Randy’s stomach. He sounds as desperate as Randy feels.
He bites his lip, combs his fingers through Benson’s greasy hair. "I gotta go, Mom. I’ll call you at the next stop." 
"Promise me." 
Benson takes one last drag on his cigarette before he holds it up for Randy to take. He blows soft and slow along the length of Randy’s dick, runs his hand down the back of his leg. 
The smoke wafts up to his nose and Randy white-knuckles the phone. He’s so hard he can’t think, can’t possibly wring one more coherent sentence out of his lust-addled brain. "Yeah, I–I promise, Mom. I love you." 
"I love you, honey." 
Randy ends the call and throws the phone in the direction of the bed. He misses again, dimly registers the thunk as it hits the wall. 
"Fuck, Benson," he breathes at the same time Benson says, "Fucking finally," and wraps his mouth around him. Randy groans and slumps against the wall, lets Benson pull his hips closer. He likes being put where he wants him. 
"You're gonna get me in trouble," he says again, bringing the cigarette to his lips. He needs it bad after all that. He thinks he can taste Benson’s spit in the filter and he closes his eyes, lets his brain go blank. 
Benson comes off his cock with a pop and looks up at him. "But I always get you back out, right?" His tongue slides in circles. 
It's miraculous every time he does this, puts his mouth on him like this. Randy's wished for a miracle for a long time. This wasn’t exactly what he had in mind, but who is he to turn it down, with its long lashes and bad language and hands all over him all the time?
"S-so far so good." 
Randy takes another drag, feels the high sweep up and over him. It makes him dizzy, makes him giddy. Erases any guilt about lying to his mother and makes him feel good, better than ever, or maybe that’s the man on his knees in front of him. 
Benson tilts his head, takes him in. "You’re hot when you smoke, by the way." 
Randy chuckles weakly. "Yeah?" He doesn’t do it, not often, usually can’t let go of the voice in his head screaming cancer. But Benson showed him how and he doesn’t cough anymore and in fact, he likes it more every time he tries it. "My mom would lose her mind." 
Benson pulls a wry face. "About the smoking, huh? Just the smoking?"
Randy smiles shyly. "Maybe some other stuff too."
"What can she say, she raised a fucking degenerate. And I, for one, am glad she did." 
With that, Benson decides the conversation is over and puts his mouth to better use. Randy gasps and moans as he takes him slow, inch by inch, hot and wet and relentless. 
He braces himself against the wall. He can barely stand, legs already shaking. Benson’s always telling him he’s easy, and he can’t tell if that’s supposed to be good or bad, but either way, he likes being the way he is. Benson’s fingers dig into the meat of his ass and hit a bruise, sending a sharp thrum of that off-key pleasure straight to his dick. Benson might be right. He might be a degenerate.
He flicks the cigarette butt into the nearby sink and makes it, which is lucky. Maybe his aim isn't that bad after all. Benson has him down his throat to the hilt, which is also lucky. He knows that someday their luck might run out, like gas, like cigarettes, like his mother’s patience, but it sure doesn’t feel like it, not now.
Randy puts his hands on him carefully, the way he showed him, cups his skull and scrunches his hair gently like he's precious, because he is. Benson makes a sound that strikes at his core and he almost loses it right then, but he doesn’t. Not yet. For a second he thinks about miracles, and then he can’t think about much of anything anymore. 
The list of things he can't mention when his mother calls gets a little bit longer. 
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themultifanshipper · 10 hours
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I would like to contribute my opinion on the lando/trump situation.
Warning, it's long and a bit nuanced (although slightly more a defence than an accusation but still keep an open mind)
And is edited as i find more things to say
First off, Lando is a victim of the formula one machine just like all the drivers. They are the puppets, the clowns, whatever analogy you want. The people behind the teams (team bosses, ceo's, sponsors etc... are what make the machine run, the drivers are just there to drive. He was approached by the ex president of the country he was in, on a high of winning his first race, and shook his hand while a million cameras were pointing in his direction. That can only happen one way: trump being invited by the team (bosses ceo's, whatever). Now, I despise trump and everything he stands for, but if I was in Lando's situation I would have had to do the same thing. (It so happens I was in a similar situation and had to shut my mouth and shake the hand of a politician I didn't like because I could have caused a diplomatic incident and lost my job and cost a lot of money in sponsorships). Also the alleged comments "It was an honour for him to be there/ you have to have respect for him" etc... are probably bullshit, but in the case that they are not and Lando is actually a trump supporter, if you cancel him for it, you would have to cancel half the drivers/team bosses/Ceo's etc in HISTORY.
The founding of formula one (like any institution ever) is by and for White/Rich/Heterosexual/Males. The FIA is corrupt. The teams are corrupt. It's an industry entirely run by money. It's capitalism in a bottle and some of y'all seem to forget that. The fact is the drivers could all be supporters of the right wing parties in their respective countries, would you cancel all of them?
For example, frank williams, the FOUNDER of Williams f1 team was openly a Thatcher supporter. There is a portrait of the bitch in his house (now his daughter's) as seen below, with a picture of.... george russell??
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I also added a picture of Thatcher with Colin Chapman to emphasize that political figures often get involved in sports, doesn't mean the athletes align with their views. Trump, Reagan, Thatcher, Francisco Franco (a literal dictator).... they've all done it.
But let's have a quick look at Georgie boy then. A rich white man, he was quite friendly with Frank Williams, does that mean he's a tory? No. (Tbh he probably is but is smart enough to not talk about it)
Lewis Hamilton of all people was invited to lunch TWICE with the British Royal family (not to mention the knighthood), does that mean he's a racist cunt with no regard for other human lives? No. So why would he associate himself with them? Because he's smart enough to not alienate half the bloody population!
If these people had integrity and perfect morals, they would not be racing in F1. And for the few that are genuinely good people, they're smart enough to just be a cog in the machine to ensure their paycheck. We saw it with the horner situation, they won't get involved unless they actually support the bad guy. Similar situation to palestine, if they speak out either way, they will alienate countless sponsors and probably loose their seat.
Yes it's shit, yes it should be different, yes it should be inclusive but it's just not. It's veeery slowly changing though.
But back to Lando: now he isn't perfect obviously. (He's a white cis probably het man) He might even be right wing who knows, but I think taking alleged comments like "you have to respect the guy" out of context is dangerous. Objectively, yes there is an infinitesimal bit of respect you have to have for trump (hear me out) he managed to become PRESIDENT OF THE UNTIED STATES by manipulating the masses into thinking he was basically the reincarnation of God. Man is a genius, even though he's a cock. He's also a brilliant example of nepotism, capitalism and all round discrimination that represents the system we all live in. Additionally, florida is a pretty right wing state if i'm not mistaken (gun laws/anti abortion/anti lgbt etc...) and if lando had told trump to fuck off, there might have been riots and i'm only barely joking. Lando is a dick for the comments that were perhaps a bit unnecessary but y'all are seeing them as him endorsing trump lmao. As a (hopefully) future public figure, if the president of my country came to see me in front of a bunch of cameras i would also say it was an honour to meet him. At this level it's self preservation.
I will finish this rant by saying that I hope the world of f1 will change for the better in future years, already the gender diversification is going in the right direction, some programs are in place for kids who come from poorer backgrounds etc... but expecting that change to come from the puppets of capitalism is quite unreasonable. Lewis has set some standards that hopefully more and more drivers can stick to, but in the meantime cancelling a dude for breathing the same air as trump is stupid.
Ps: Y'all don't know the half of the awful private corporations and sponsors of the teams and drivers, so if you can't cope with the occasional dick on your screen, you might want to pick a different hobby. Preferably not involving public figures or PR in any capacity.
Edit 1: I've been seing ppl get mad at lando for saying he's his lucky charm and I think it's perhaps a language comprehension barrier thing. He did not say that. Trump said he was lando's lucky charm, then lando mentionned that trump had said it.
Edit 2: I've seen some clips of Zak Brown where he seems to be really friendly with trump. I wouldn't be surprised if it was his idea to introduce him to lando. CEO's are rarely great people, and although i'm glad he's been such a huge part of Lando's journey and success, i'm not a big fan of his. I just wish it would have been with someone a bit less complacent, like max or lewis, they wouldn't have said that stuff and the interaction would have been quite entertaining I reckon.
Edit 3: great post about the misunderstood comments at the press conference here
Don't hesitate to insult me in my asks, i will be answering them with equal enthusiasm :)
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syn0vial · 1 month
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most relatable Boba Fett Moment™ in the expanded universe is when he very calmly and curtly walks away from what should be a highly emotional conversation (much to the annoyance and disgust of the person he's speaking to), locks himself in a washroom, then proceeds to have debilitating panic attack for several minutes before standing up, composing himself, and walking out in the exact same unruffled manner like nothing happened :^)
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evilminji · 8 months
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You know... >.>
My Dad always used to tell me, if I get a Genuine Genie(tm)? Get a lawyer first. Before I make my Wishes(tm), so they can help me word them correctly.
Obviously, a human lawyer would not be foolproof... BUT! What about a Ghost Lawyer?
Like? Obviously Desiree would be PISSED. How DARE you twist HER wish twisting! Her THING is "what you believe is your heart's desire always comes at a terrible cost" which is what she DIED to learn.
So obviously she would NEVER, willingly, bend her Obsession for ANYONE. And you'd have to make a DAMN good case to that Lawyer for why he ISNT breaking the law by helping you. Probably some "you can: save the life of an unconscious person against their will/shove an unobservant person OFF the train tracks, even if they get hurt, to save their life" clause.
Like? Using a ghosts Obsession against them? Bad. Illegal.
Using it against their will, to save OTHER ghosts, who are in immediate danger? Not illegal, but they will be PISSED. Still not great though, you will want to apologize and fast.
So like??? Reality Bending Power. Patrick Star Method of "what if we MOVED the city... somewhere else?" Considered at 1am. Team of Ghost Laywers, acquired.
Amity and all Limnals are REMOVED from the DP-verse.
Wish worded juuuuust so. Any ghost that forms there? Yoink! Instantly removed to the Zone. Natural Portals? Cut off. Let the whole Reality fade out at an accelerated rate, as no NEW energy is fed into the system. Entropy will do, what entropy does. Exactly as they wished it.
They hated Death so much, they speed up the heat death of their ENTIRE universe by Eons. Congratulations, you guys "Won". Enjoy the wildly more fragile flora, fauna, and general ecosystems. Now that none of you have that ambient Ectoplasm strengthening your bodies. Yeah, the things you used to shrug off? Those are gonna maim or kill you now.
Doesn't MATTER if you "learn your lesson" though! Cause this is WAY past that point! This is "cutting off the tumor before it kills us" territory, and buddy? Amity ISNT the tumor. Go forth a grow, just like you wanted.
They won't be here to fix your messes anymore.
Because Danny got himself a dictionary thick "I Wish..." contract. Which was worded, as it needs to be, in one loooooooong run on sentence. Shouted "I Wish what's written on THIS, as it is currently, and without any form of editing or negotiation!" As fast as he could. Yote the document in Desiree's direction. And Flew like an INCANDESCENTLY pissed off Genie was trying to set his everything of fire.
Which she was.
Thankfully, Paulina came in clutch with her History of all things Jewelry, world fashions, and Make-Up knowledge. That, coupled with the Power Of Rich Friends(tm)? (Sam. Her mother was THRILLED to take her Jewelry and clothing shopping for something other then blacks and dark purple. They went on a jet setting whurl-wind tour. Sam actually kinda liked a some of what she found.)
They have Apology Bribes.
They shamelessly HIDE behind the mountain of Apology Bribes, while they explain themselves. Is Desiree HAPPY? No. But those bracelets are magnificent and she DOES deserve nice things. Those silks will really bring out her eyes. And she... DOES... admit...
Maybe...
That things are not... SAFE. Any longer. Danny TRIES. Everyone else can see it. And he's made incredible strides! Even convinced his lunatic parents. Though they're still not quite POPULAR. (WAY too pushy and invasive with their questions, for most people.) But the fanatics in white?
They nearly killed Box Lunch. If her father hadn't BEEN there...
And the poor man will have that scar on his back for the rest of his afterlife. Desiree can see why Danny is pushing. Does she LIKE it? No. But...
She supposes she will content herself with the suffering of the Fanatics in White and all who support them. THEIR wishes, twisted. Their ugly heart's desires.
Fine.
"SO YOU WISH IT. SO IT SHALL BE!"
And? The ghost town of what WOULD of one day grown into Amity, had the witch's there not been found by those they had fled from, which sits in long rotted ruins, amongst the trees in nowhere Illinois? Poof! Two "Towns" are switched.
The roads out of town coming to a clean line stop, meeting not even goat paths. Just trees. Old growth.
But it's not ALL of Town, is it? Faces missing. New, confused, faces from every corner of the map, taking their place. No Limnal left behind. No supporter of the GIWs genocide, brought along. Family's kept together where they could be. But by the few, scared and upset, green flashing eyes of children in the crowd?
It seemed for some, it was easier to fear and hate, then love their children.
Already they were being gathered up by school teachers and PTA parents. As everyone tried to figure out what had happened. Concerned, quite muttering a dull roar as everyone tries to coordinate.
Red Huntress joins Danny and Dani in the Sky. She doesn't get a word in. Wanted to know what the HELL was going on. She was with her dad in Chicago! Dani was in Taiwan! Literally! As in, sitting in a SUBWAY station one second, the next? Outside!
But they don't get to demand those answers. Because there is a sonic boom on the horizon. And then? Floating... weird... not ghosts?
Uuuuuuhhhh?
Hi?
That much blue... sure is a Statement. Like the cape and... bloooomers? Shorts. Bikini bottoms? It.. it's a Cool Look, dude! No, really. They are being VERY supportive here! If YOU like it? That's the only thing that matters!
Red Huntress smacks the Danny/i's Repeated upside their heads and demans to know what the Not-Ghosts are doing in their airspace.
Oh YEAH. Good point! What she said! And can it WAIT? They're kinda going through A Thing right now...
Kon? Wants it on record he loves these guys. They're hilarious. The LOOK on Clark's FACE?? He wishes he could frame it. Preserve it for future generations. Thing is? There was NOT a town here a second ago.
Well, bout 30 minutes or so, but you get the idea. One moment? Tree noises. Bam! Thousands of people! Obviously the checked it out. Only to be met with two... three maybe? Heros who have NO IDEA who they are.
Clear Reality warping shenanigans. Might be time travel or multiverse. Question is... are they STAYING? And if SO? What now...
@hdgnj @ailithnight @the-witchhunter @nerdpoe @dcxdpdabbles @mutable-manifestation @hypewinter
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sunderwight · 1 month
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Much as I love the idea of PIDW being rife with terrible porn tropes and interesting (if contrived) erotic writing conventions, all actual evidence in canon would seem to indicate that apart from some sex pollen and "uh oh, the protagonist has gone into a fugue state, whatever shall calm him down?" type stuff, it was fairly vanilla.
Like, that's part of both Shen Yuan and Airplane's frustration with it, I think. It's full of sex and it's not even sex either of them enjoy the concept of. Airplane was fully just trying to pander to an audience he felt he knew and could manipulate, but not one either he nor his ultra mega hate reader were actually part of.
Not that they understood that themselves at the time.
I mean I know fandom likes to make Airplane less closeted than Shen Yuan (for a lot of reasons), which I support, but I feel like in canon at least... he didn't cotton on to Luo Binghe's change in interests at first either. It wasn't until he was watching his protagonist obsess over resurrecting Shen Qingqiu at any cost that the light started to dawn. For Shang Qinghua, also, many more years have passed since he was back in their original world. He's had more time to reconcile himself to certain ideas.
What glimpses we get of the person he was before he died, was reborn, and lived a whole other life well into adulthood, would seem to indicate that he probably wasn't much better than Shen Yuan back when he was writing.
I mean he probably was still BETTER (the bar is on the floor), like I bet he could have a fantasy featuring Mobei Jun without having an existential crisis or pretending it didn't happen, but he would have probably been like "wow I guess I've been writing so much m/f porn that I can't even enjoy it anymore and my brain had to come up with something else, anyway Mobei would make a hot chick tho, I'm gonna write one of his cousins as Binghe's next wife" and gotten on with things.
Basically I guess what I'm driving at is that it would be funny if SQQ and SQH figured they had a solid handle on the kinds of sex pollen-y porn tropes to expect from the world (mostly just the occasional fuck-or-die that missionary can cure), only for the rug to get ripped out from under them because the system incorporated a bunch of stuff from Airplane's subconscious to fill out the gaps. Not even his notes. His daydreams and fantasies.
SQQ: what the hell?! PIDW didn't even have werewolves or tentacle porn monsters!
SQH, suddenly reminded of some very specific fap sessions: right?! this is definitely weird and in no way my fault! it must be because of the genre switch!
SQQ: *suspicious*
SQH: which is your fault! you made the protagonist gay! in fact it's probably your fault that I'm gay too now!
SQQ: bullshit. what did you do. was this in a draft?!
SQH: *sweating* I can say with absolute confidence that it was not! I never wrote anything like this!
SQQ: *having a crisis now because maybe he DID accidentally cause the monsterfucker stuff and he desperately doesn't want anyone to realize that he's actually into it*
SQH: *continuing to sweat because the world is consistently manifesting content from his personal spank bank and if cucumber ever figures that out he's a dead man*
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comicaurora · 3 months
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Sorry to drop a hella irl-political question on your mostly webcomic blog, but have you/any of the OSP gang heard of/been participating in the week-long strike for palestine that's been (presumably) all over tumblr/the internet?
For some background info: Following the attack on Oct. 7th by the hamas militant group (a terrorist org. Or resistance group, depending who you ask), the state of israel (which is practically a mass colonial settlement on Palestinian land since '48) has taken the attack as an excuse to indiscriminately bomb the homes of thousands if not millions of homes while forcebly displacing almost all of the ~2.3 million people crammed in the gaza strip with no escape.
'Israel' has also tightened it's blockade on the strip of land such that a growing majority of people there are experiencing catastrophic starvation, disease from sewage-infested drinking water (as water aid is too scarce). Soon even deaths by preventable causes such as diabetes will occur since insulin pens for children have been blocked from entering by israel, who controls gaza's borders, water, power, food supplies, and shoreline. Civilians in Gaza are very frequently and indiscriminately killed often in places they were told were safe zones to evacuate to. It's agreed upon by both experts and laymen worldwide that what is happening (and has BEEN happening before Oct.7th) is nothing short of genocide.
In the occupied Palestinian west bank, where there is no hamas whatsoever to use as an excuse, Palestinians are still arrested without a fair trial for years, abused, prevented from using certain roads, shot, and often straight-up have their houses stolen by armed or military-backed israeli settlers (many of whom have no ancestral connection to the land at all) in a system often compared to or outright stated to be apartheid.
Very recently, a journalist in Gaza by the name of Bisan Owda called for a strike from January 21st to January 28th. The conditions of the strike can be paraphrased as:
Cease all unnecessary purchases or payments, avoid generating ad revenue when possible
Do not go to work or school if you can possibly avoid it
Pay for things only in cash if you must
Use social media exclusively to flood the internet with palestinian voices and resources about the ongoing genocide against the palestinian people
Attend protests if you can
Be visible.
It's the 26th now, but joining late would be far better than to not join at all and stay silent.
I figured I'd ask since since OSP has covered various topics about history and/or politics and we're kinda watching some awful history unfolding, the kind of history where neutrality doesn't really work and a side needs to be taken.
Opinions? (Sorry if I'm coming across as condescending! I just really want my favorite blogs to be aware and take a stance rather than being silent hhhghf)
Okay, here's my answer.
OSP has been supporting calls for a ceasefire for months, and we were fundraising in direct support of it via Doctors Without Borders all through November and December. Total, we raised over $30,000. If we include the UNICEF fundraiser we ran on the Spider-Man streams, the total is over $40,000.
During our charity livestreams, we have made our positions clear – we support a ceasefire, Israel is perpetuating settler-colonialist violence and has been for decades, Hamas is a terrorist organization that endangers Israelis and Palestinians alike, the innocent people of both Palestine and Israel deserve safety and peace. We concluded that the best thing we could do under the circumstances was empower those who are in a real position to actually help by providing funding for their work. We believe this is significantly more beneficial than adding Another Angry Internet Post to the pile of insular outrage on Internet Land. Fundraising for the organizations with boots on the ground feels like it does a lot more good than being loud online for the benefit of other online people.
This is not the first time I've heard reference to the strike, but it is the first time I've seen the parameters of the strike laid out, which to me indicates that it wasn't spread as widely or effectively as it could've been.
I understand and appreciate why you sent this ask, but your premise worries me. I know this may surprise and startle us denizens of the internet, but being extremely loud on the internet is not the only or the most effective form of activism, and people not being extremely loud on the internet with every account they have is not the same thing as silent complicity in war crimes, and people acting like those two things are the same thing has been unbelievably frustrating to watch.
If we act like everything is a binary moral choice between "scream your loudest, most angry opinions online every time you feel angry about them" and "not doing that is literally the same thing as participating in genocide", we are creating a very strong pressure to flood the internet with our angriest, most unformed thoughts, lest we be branded as complicit in war crimes. Social media sites live and die on engagement, hence why twitter has rapidly trended towards doomscrolling and encouraging inflammatory clickbait - angry shouty people are traffic and traffic is money. The cynical part of me is utterly unsurprised that social media encourages the idea that the only true form of activism is being loud on social media.
It sounds like you had the feeling that sending me this ask was weird and a boundary overstep, and you were correct. My platform is not world-changing or in any way politically powerful beyond our ability to create charity fundraisers for causes we believe in, and we are doing what we can to help in the tiny ways that we can from halfway across the world, from a position of absolutely zero political weight beyond emailing our representatives. You are just asking me to also shout about it online loudly enough that I measure up to an artificial loudness metric, because my existing shouting was not already loud or omnipresent enough.
You are not entitled to know every thought in my head or every action I take in my life. I am not online to perform outrage and live up to an arbitrary moral standard of Shouting Enough. I am especially not online on my fantasy webcomic blog to do those things. Please understand that what you see of me is what I choose to share, and I am under no obligation, moral or otherwise, to share more.
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auteurdelabre · 2 months
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As long as you want / Joel Miller x f!Reader
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As long as you want - Joel!Miller x f!Reader
Part two
words: 5.3k
Summary: When you're injured in the stables one morning your patrol partner and enemy Joel Miller is the only one there to help.
Tags:  Enemies to friends/lovers, Kissing, Mentions of Anxiety Attacks, Fluff, Mentions of Scars, Medication, Mentions of violence, Joel POV in parts, mentions of 'baby', Tooth-Rotting sweetness in parts, mutual pining. NO y/n.
a/n:  Originally gonna be part of my ‘So Much to Lose’ story, but the characterizations didn’t feel right for it, so I made a few tweaks and now this is a one-shot.
Dedicated to @katiexpunk because she took the time to send me the sweetest most encouraging message filled with lots of advice and just damn fine support for a woman who sometimes feels invisible on this platform.
-----------------------------
On mornings you wake up earlier than usual it's because of anxiety.
You never know when it's going to hit because it's never logical. Sometimes it's a day you have patrols, sometimes its days you have nothing at all.
You've been an inhabitant of Jackson city for almost fourteen months. That's plenty of time for your nervous system to adjust, to know that you're not being chased by the infected or fighting malnourished raiders. 
But your brain doesn't seem to grasp that yet. Every few months it wakes you before sunrise leaving you breathless and terrified until you adjust to your surroundings and remember that you are in your home. That you have a real home with a soft bed and easy access to food. 
And yet those days, like today, you can't go back to sleep. You can't force your body to relax again. You're all nervous energy and you need to calm down. 
Thankfully you've discovered one place that gives you that sense of calm; the stables with the horses used on patrols. 
You shower and pull on your clothes and are out the door quickly. It's so early that Jackson city is still slumbering and the sky is still dark and will be for a while longer. So it's just you and the dirt path that leads to the stables for company. 
You see your favorite dark brown horse Milly, the one you ride for patrols. The one who keeps you safe while you and your patrol partner survey the nearby areas. 
The patrol partner that apparently can't sleep either because as you approach Milly you see him inside the stables petting Glimmer gently behind the ears. 
Joel Miller. 
Of course he's here, the annoying man. Not one moment of peace is possible for you today.
The patrol partner you've been stuck with for the last year. The man who vacillates between mute and mocking when he's around you. 
You hold in a scowl as you view his shoulders flexing as he smoothes his large hand down her mane, murmuring in a low rasp.
He's an austere figure in Jackson. Aside from his brother, sister-in-law and Ellie you don't see him interact with many people. You don't even think he has a girlfriend. 
Not that you would care if he did. 
Not at all. 
Well, sure when you first met him on patrols in his form fitting jeans and shirt that positively strained over his broad shoulders you had been intrigued. And the face wasn’t half bad either - strong nose, captivating eyes and under his patchy beard…
Don't think about his mouth.
So you'd introduced yourself, citing that you were excited to be working with a man of his reputation. Because he was already a legend in Jackson City before you arrived - Joel Miller was ruthless, a crack shot, a prolific fighter. 
He'd blinked in reply at that before he'd opened his pouty mouth and all the burgeoning attraction that had been building came crashing down. 
"Don't know why they stuck me with a newbie."
It had only gotten worse from there: Cutting remarks about how you held a gun, sarcastic observations about your riding. By the end of your first patrol you'd officially decided you hated him.
Over your time together the animosity had morphed from all out mutual derision to a comfortable dislike between you two. An antagonistic relationship built on banter and irritation.
The only truly good thing about Joel is Ellie. She’s funny and brash and you love chatting with her. Plus when you see then together that dark countenance Joel maintains gives way to a soft kindness that radiates from him. 
But Ellie isn't here now in the stables. Only Joel with his salt and pepper curls and lean neck. 
"Hey Miller," you say with an exasperated sigh. He turns abruptly, his dark eyes narrowing on your face. 
"The fuck are you doin' here this early?"
"Could ask you the same," you mutter as you give Milly a pat. 
"Couldn't sleep."
"Me neither."
Joel hums a reply, turning around to fully face you before leaning back on the stable wall. He watches you petting the horse and takes in the dark circles under your normally expressive eyes. 
"You look like shit."
"How charming," you muse darkly. "It's a wonder you're still single."
Joel huffs a laugh, his mouth curling into a crooked grin. 
That fucking mouth. 
When it's not curled into a sneer or a smirk aimed in your direction you can't help but notice it's so soft looking. Plush, pink lips that don't fit the rest of his stern face. 
Stop. 
"I do just fine in that department don't you worry," Joel offers in that typical confident yet abrasive way of his. 
"In that case you should ask out Martha next," you say in a voice dripping with sarcasm. "I'm sure she'd love some one-on-one time with Jackson city's most mysterious and handsome bachelor."
Martha is one of Jackson's kitchen workers. She's almost seventy and has a very obvious crush on Joel because she mentions how handsome he is at every opportunity. 
You smirk to yourself at the thought of him taking her to dinner. You don't even notice that he's drawn over to you petting Milly until you feel his breath on the back of your head. 
"So you think I'm handsome?"
It comes out of Joel in an exhale, raspy and amused when he sees you sputter. You glance at him over your shoulder, eyes wide. He's close, close enough to touch. 
"No. I-I mean, it's just that- that's what Martha says," you say, feeling your cheeks heating. "About you being handsome and stuff. Not me."
Joel rarely looks this amused in your presence, but right now he's grinning so broadly a dimple has appeared in his right cheek. He's so close you can feel the warmth of his body. 
"You sure, darlin'?" He teases his voice dropping to a purr. "You’re gettin' mighty flustered."
Darlin'. 
That's new.
You hate how your pulse hiccups at the sound of it. 
"Get over yourself, Miller," you manage in a shaky scoff before letting yourself into the pen with Milly, desperate to escape Joel's proximity.  
You feel his eyes on you and in a panic you move behind Milly to reach for the hairbrush propped on the fencing. 
"Watch it-" Joel starts. 
It's your own fault what happens next.
Milly makes a terrified whinny and kicks out her back legs. You feel a sharpness in your side that takes your breath away, knocking you into the side of the pen. Milly makes another jolting motion and you feel Joel's hand pulling you back sharply as you yelp, clutching at your ribs.
Joel guides you out of the pen with a hand on your shoulder, dark eyes peering into your face when you both exit.
"Why the fuck did you move behind her?"
"I wasn't thinking," you groan, doubling over and resting your head against the nearest wooden stall. "Fuck."
It's a miracle you weren't too close. If you'd felt the full weight of Milly's power you wouldn't still be standing, albeit curled. 
Joel stares at you, noting that you're white in the face, your spine bowed. You're clearly in a lot of pain. 
"C'mon," Joel says, tugging the loop of your jeans, trying to prompt you into continuing to walk. "S'go."
"Where?"
"The clinic," he answers gruffly. "Stop wastin' time. C'mon."
"I can't move," you tell him, tears of pain slipping down your nose as you double over. "It hurts too much."
Joel mutters something under his breath before he strides away from you and out of the stables. You wait a few moments and when he doesn't return you feel a shocked puff of air escape you.
He just left you. Abandoned you in some of the worst pain of your life. You knew Joel Miller was an asshole you just didn't realize how much. 
You fall to your knees, clutching at your side, the scent of hay and horse suffocating you. You wish you'd never come. Never tried to bond with another living creature.  
Your head moves up slowly when you hear voices and footsteps from outside approaching. To your shock Joel and a tall woman with silver hair are there and Joel is murmuring to her. 
"..n't sure if I should move her."
"Good you didn't," the woman assures him. "Could've done more damage."
The two of them move over to you and the woman urges you to breathe deeply after she introduces herself as Gemma the town nurse. You do, wincing loudly as a sharp pain nips your left right side. 
"Fuck!"
Joel is standing back by the stables, petting Glimmer absently. When he hears you cry out his brows rise. 
Gemma urges you to lift your shirt so she can see if there is swelling or bruising. You try but cry out in pain so she quickly lifts the hem of your shirt, tugging it up to just under your breasts. You panic when you realize you don't have a bra on.
"A bit of swelling," she tsks as her calloused hands sweep gently over your midsection. You whimper at the sensation, every swipe feels like agony. 
You flush when you realize Joel is staring over at you and his eyes linger along the bare skin of your abdomen on display. He catches your attention on him and quickly looks away, nonplussed. 
"Nothing's broken from what I can tell," Gemma hums thoughtfully.
"Doesn't feel like it from where I'm standing." 
Gemma smirks and you think you catch a hint of amusement cross Joel's features. 
"Likely a bruised rib," Gemma says with a concerned furrow of her brows. "You shouldn't be doing patrols. Not for a few weeks until this heals. You need plenty of rest, fluids and ice."
A strange feeling overtakes you then. Something between elation and disappointment at the thought you won't be going to do patrols for a bit. You don't understand why. You and Joel rarely get along, you should be thankful for the break. But you suppose you'll miss the consistent schedule. 
"I brought a few painkillers I could spare," Gemma offers, rummaging in her coat pocket. She opens the glass bottle to reveal less than a few dozen white pills that you don't recognize lining the bottom. 
"Is that all we have for painkillers?" You ask, concerned. "For the whole town?"
"For now these and a few dozen bottles of aspirin," Gemma nods. "When there's less snow we'll be able to scour around for more."
You look at the paltry selection and shake your head. "Nah, I'm okay. I'll just go home and rest."
"You'll take one right now," Gemma orders. "And you'll take a few more to get you through the night."
"I'll take two total," you negotiate, taking the first and swallowing it dry. The second goes into your jeans pocket. 
You wait a few moments until the pill begins to take effect. It could be psychological but you feel like it makes it manageable to start walking. 
"When you're getting up and down hug a pillow to your middle," she instructs. "Helps lessen the pain of the strain."
"Okay," you nod as you begin to shuffle. "Thanks a lot." 
"Joel," Gemma turns to the lurking figure at the end of the stall. "You'll walk her home?"
Joel nods just as you shake your head.
"That's not necessary."
Gemma fixes you with a look she must have given dozens of obstinate patients over the years. 
"Have you ever tried to climb stairs with a bruised rib?"
"No."
"Thought not. Let him walk you home and get you into bed."
You go to deny this but Joel is already herding you towards the path that leads to your neighborhood.
"S'go."
You walk slowly, shuffling down the street after Joel who walks at least three paces ahead of you. You don't mind, you don't really feel like chatting. 
"Why'd you try to turn down the painkillers?" He throws over his shoulder as if just to annoy you. 
"Because there weren't that many," you say grimacing. "And I'm not in that much pain."
He pauses, waiting for you to catch up. His dark eyes survey your hunched stance. 
"Liar."
You keep shuffling, trying to ignore the irritation you feel at his curious expression.
"Yeah it hurts a bit but it's nothing compared to Chester's broken leg from chopping wood last month is it?" You reason, starting to feel a bit spacey from the drugs. "And what if something like that happens to someone else and I took up all the supplies because of a bruised ribi brought upon myself? I'd feel terrible." 
"You shouldn't have been in the fucking stables to begin with," Joel says darkly. "Then you wouldn't have had to use any."
"I wanted to see the horses."
"They ain't pets."
"I’m aware," you throw back angrily. "But being with them in there makes me feel calm."
"Try meditatin' next time," Joel bites out. 
You've arrived at the bottom of your front porch steps and you're all out of patience for Joel Miller. 
"You can just leave me here. G'night." 
"I'm followin' the doctor’s orders," Joel snipes, taking you by the arm so you can lean against him as you walk. "S'go, I don't have all day." 
You grumble as you lean into his muscled arms, hating that you need to rely on him in any way. 
"Quit complainin'," Joel grits out. You wince in pain and embarrassment as he slips an arm around your waist, the other hand on your free forearm helping you up the stairs.  
"Slow," Joel murmurs. "Slowly now." 
His voice is low and rumbled. You feel his breath on your temple as you take each step, wincing at the pain.
"Yep, just like that," Joel continues, his fingers curling around your hip as you take another step slowly. "Good girl."
Good girl.
It's the same way he talks to the horses. That gentle, husky coo. You know he doesn't mean it sexually but that doesn't stop it from hitting you directly below the navel. 
You unlock the door, confused when Joel follows you inside. He scans the humble single story home, eyes falling on the paintings on the walls, the guitar by the fireplace. 
He didn't know you played guitar. Or painted. 
Joel knows you like to read, that you had a brother who died when he was young. He knows that your hair knots easily in the wind and that you hate the porridge in the dining hall. He's passively gathered information on you over the months patrolling together. But this? This is all new information to be stored.
He glances at you hobbling towards the bedroom and feels a mixture of irritation and pity go through him at the sight. He hates seeing you in pain and he feels a wave of protectiveness seep into his bones. 
"Don't go in the pens anymore," Joel instructs. "I'm serious. It's not safe."
You turn around just so you can glare at him properly. He's standing by your table, acting as if he belongs there. 
"You don't give me orders in my house, Miller," you say without thinking. "You're just mad I won't be around to deal with you on patrols and you'll have to do them alone because no one else in town can stand you."
The second it leaves your tongue Joel's face goes pinched and a cold. A cold, sticky sensation crawls along your insides at the sight of it.  
"I'm sorry," you say quickly. "Fuck. That was such a shitty thing to say. Especially since you went and got me help. I'm just tired and in pain."
Joel nods slowly, his face as always, unreadable.  
"Really, I didn't mean it,” you insist. “I'm sorry."
"I know you are," he huffs. 
"So you forgive me?"
"Nothin' to forgive," Joel offers in a tired rasp. He takes you by the waist again, shuffling you into the bedroom. "C'mon."
He eyes your bedroom as the two of you shuffle into it, taking in the dried flowers in the window, the scattered books on the end of your bed. He smiles to himself at the sight. 
"Couldn't decide what to read?"
"Read 'em all," you say walking slowly to the bed. "No new ones that interest me at the library so I was seeing which one I'd re-read."
You go to lower yourself onto the mattress but stop when Joel frowns at you and his hand taps your shoulder gently. 
"You're gonna sleep in your clothes?"
You shrug. "I'll manage."
"You're covered in mud and hay," he states flatly. 
You go to grumble that you don't particularly care when you feel Joel's large hands land on the buttons of your jacket. 
"What're you-"
"Hold still," he murmurs with his eyes on his fingers as he unbuttons all ten of the fasteners on your long jacket. You wince when he pulls it off of you, delicately. 
He's being gentle with you. 
Joel is never gentle with you. He’s caustic and points out when you fuck up. He makes you carry heavy lumber with him when repairs need to be done. But now he’s touching you as if you’re made of spun glass.
He drapes your jacket over the chair by the window before returning to see you fighting with your jeans button. It hurts to move your arms like that right now. Every inhale is like a stab. Frustrated tears are sliding down your cheeks. 
Joel doesn't like the sight of your tears. It makes him close the distance between the two of you quickly, chocolate eyes soft. 
"Let me," he says business-like. "We'll do this quick and you can get into bed."
You want to deny him but you know he's right. You don't want to wake up tomorrow even more stiff, wearing dirty clothes and unable to undress yourself enough to shower. His fingers are at the waistband of your jeans and you're impossibly thankful he doesn't make the fatal mistake of meeting your glassy eyes. 
Joel's fingers deftly pop your jean button then slowly lower the zipper. You hear him take a soft inhale before his thumbs curl at the waistband, dragging them over your hips and letting the denim fall to your knees. 
You look to his face and you see his eyes flit from yours back down to his boots. 
"Sleep clothes?"
"Dresser."
He nods, turning from you. Your cheeks burn, your heartbeat picking up the pace. Fuck, it must be the pill.  
He pulls out a cotton nightdress as you clumsily step out of your muddy jeans. You cover your front with your hands the best you can, feeling shy standing there without pants in front of Joel of all people. 
"Feels weird to be going to bed in the morning," you offer in the awkward silence. 
He's back, eyes on your t-shirt, trying not to notice the high cut of your panties or the fact that you look so fucking enticing standing there with your shapely legs on display.  
Joel is uncomfortably aware that he's not gonna be able to take off your t-shirt without getting hard and he doesn't want you feeling worse than you already are. He knows how much you despise him. 
"T-shirt is clean," he reasons. "Can probably sleep in that."
"Yeah totally," you agree quickly looking between Joel and the bed. 
You groan and blink a few times because a strange fuzz has started in your brain. 
"You should go," you swallow, trying to ignore the arousal building in your core. "I'll be fine."
"I'm makin' sure you get into bed alright."
"Then what? You gonna read me a story and tuck me in?" 
You're surprised when a soft giggle escapes from you.
"Stubborn brat," Joel mutters, even though his mouth is fighting against a grin. "Get in the fuckin' bed."
You feel oddly relaxed, even fond of the annoying man when you watch Joel pulling back the blankets of your bed for you. Regret and shame quickly follow when you recall your hard words from earlier. 
"I'm sorry about what I said," you tell him quietly.
“You already said that.”
"Lots of people like you in town."
"No they don't," Joel says with a shake of his head and a grim smile. "My brother and Ellie are about the only ones who like talkin' to me."
"And me," you add with a yawn. 
"Only cuz you got stuck doin' patrols with me. You gotta talk with me for those."
"I don't mind talking to you," you tell him honestly. "Sometimes I think you're funny."
Joel straightens, noticing the soft dreamy quality to your voice. He sees you swaying as you stand and he approaches you quickly. He peers into your face, seeing your pupils like large saucers and holds in a chuckle. 
The irritation you feel towards Joel has been replaced by a dizzying bliss that has you smiling dopily as he nears. 
"Drugs are workin' I see," Joel observes and his voice seems far away even though he's standing so close.  
"Mhmm," you purr, leaning back before wincing and grabbing your side. "Oh fuck."
"Take it easy," Joel grumbles and his dark eyes swim into view. Have his eyes always been so pretty? 
Joel I think..." you mumble something after that. You don't even know what you're saying. It's possible you're just making gibberish noises. 
He leans closer, eyes squinting as he tries to parse the unintelligible stream of random sounds. His mouth is so full, his lips so sweet looking. 
Something about his face so close and the lack of inhibitions from the medication has you feeling bold. 
You move your face towards his so quickly he doesn't have time to shift back. Your mouth crashes into Joel's, lips slotting between his. 
His lips are so soft. Full and soft and warm. You groan in delight as your hands go to his collar. You try to deepen the kiss, your tongue trying to slip between the seam of his lips but Joel is pulling back, his hands taking yours from his collar. 
"The fuck are you doin'?"
There's a part of you that knows what you've just done is insane. But that part is so quiet, so far away. All you can feel right now is contentment and you smile up at him with eyes almost closed. He drops your hands. 
"Mmm...Your lips are soft."
Joel is staring at you, mouth hanging open in slight surprise. You want to kiss him again but you're so fatigued from the medication you just give a yawn and feel your eyes shut firmly. 
"M'tired."
"C'mon now sleepin' beauty," Joel chides, guiding you by the small of your back to the bed. He sits you on the edge of the mattress before placing a pillow into your arms. 
"Squeeze it as you lay back."
"M'kay," you say doing as he asks, your eyes still closed. 
He watches you, grimacing himself when you let out a soft yelp as you lay back on the bed. He waits for you to unclench before taking the pillow from your arms and tugging the blanket up to your chest. 
"Lips are so soft," you say again as his face hovers above you. "How are they so fucking soft?"
Joel tries to hide the amused grin on his face. You're so loopy it's quite endearing. He can't wait to tease you about this when you're back at patrols. He can picture your scowl now, the flush that rises on your neck first and then your cheeks when you're embarrassed.
"Are my lips soft?" you ask in a concerned voice. 
Joel licks his lips subconsciously, replaying your mouth on his. A sensation he's trying not to fixate on. 
"Yeah," he finally relents in a husky whisper. "Real soft." 
Plump and soft and sweet and everything he's been imagining they would be. 
Without thinking he reaches over and brushes the hair from your eyes, taken by surprise when your hand weakly takes his wrist. 
"Kiss me again, Miller."
"I can't."
"Please," you beg, your eyes cracking open. You start to whine and shift towards him in the bed before the pain hits you sharply and you wince. 
"Fine, just lay back," Joel grumbles even as his heart picks up its pace in his chest. You do as he asks, sleepy eyes glancing up at him. 
He leans forward and gives your cheek a chaste kiss before pulling back. He has to hide the amused chuckle when he sees your grumpy face. 
"I wanted a real kiss."
"That was a real kiss."
"I meant on the lips."
"Tell you what," Joel says, greatly amused. "If you can look me in the eyes tomorrow when you're med free and ask me to kiss you, I will."
"Promise?"
"Yep and I'll make it a good one." 
"Okay," your medicated self agrees quickly. "I'll ask tomorrow."
He knows you won't. You won't remember anything. He takes a seat at the edge of your bed, watching you slip into slumber. 
Joel knows that he doesn't have to sit here any longer. He's got you in bed, you're drifting off, his job is done. And yet he lingers, watching your face go placid before you seem to wake yourself up.  
"I've wanted to kiss you for so long, Miller."
"Uh huh," Joel says with disbelief clear in his voice as he plumps the pillow next to your head in case you need it. "I'm sure."
"You don't believe me?" 
"Go to sleep."
"Member that day we went on patrols by Westons?" You slur eyes half closed. "And there weren't enough horses and we had to share one?"
Joel is surprised that you remember that. It was almost eight months ago.
"Uh huh," Joel nods, leaning back from where he sits at the edge of the bed. "Yeah, I remember."
"And we got to that clearing and you helped me down so we could do a perimeter check?"
"Yup."
"Yup."
"I wanted to kiss you then," you share. "When your hands were on my waist and you were smiling ... down at me. I thought... You were... so ... Handsome and... You smelled so good... Like leather n'..."
Joel sucks in a lungful of air slowly as he watches you fall back into a light doze. Your hand on your abdomen rises and falls as you begin to snore lightly. 
Joel remembers that day at Westons. He remembers the way your arms felt wrapped around his middle, your body tight against his back as he rode with you on the horse.
He remembers that his horse was taller than you were used to riding. How you'd hesitated asking for his help to get down because he knew how prideful you were. 
He had rolled his eyes, holding out his arms to you before you'd even had to ask him. 
"C'mon now. Stop wastin' time."
You'd said something scathing back to him before allowing him to pull you into his arms. 
He remembers the sound of your breath in his ear and the way your sweet scent enveloped him. You'd clung to him, slowly sliding down the length of his broad body before standing on the ground. His hands had lingered on your waist, smiling down at you in amusement at your discomfiture. 
But then the gaze had lasted a little too long when he realized at this proximity he could see so many details in your face. The length of your lashes, the deep color of your eyes, the beckoning curve of your lips. 
He'd always thought you were pretty. From day one he'd been enraptured by your smile. An attraction he hadn't felt since Sarah's mom. A frightening feeling that had him scowling at you and turning from you. 
He remembers how he went home that night drunk on the memory of your soft body against his. He remembers how he fell asleep aching at the memory of your lips and eyes.
He remembers how ever since that day he's tried to convince himself he isn't attracted to you. That he isn't excited every day he has patrols with you because he gets hours of you to himself. 
It's the reason he was at the stables so early this morning. Knowing he'd be on patrols with you tomorrow had him keyed up. 
Joel doesn't like people getting close. It's easier to have most everyone hate him. And even as the months went on and your wit and humor broke through his outer wall, he still worked to keep you out. 
But now you've all but admitted how you feel about him. And even if you forget it all tomorrow, he heard it tonight. The truth revealed. It makes his legs feel weak to know that the attraction exists on both sides. 
"Joel?"
Your voice is soft but he sees the furrow of your brow. You're awake and anxiously looking for him in the darkness. Something about that small action makes his breath unsteady. 
"I'm here, baby."
The soft smile you shoot his way makes Joel's insides turn to jelly. He doesn't even cringe when he belatedly realizes the pet name. You won't remember it.
When your eyes find his silhouette in the fading darkness he sees you visibly relax. 
"I was worried you were gone."
"Nope. Been here the whole time."
"Good," you breathe before yawning so widely your jaw cracks. Joel sidles closer to you on the bed, his dark eyes scanning your face. 
"You feeling okay? Any pain?"
"No pain," you say dreamily. "Just sleepy." 
"Go to sleep then," Joel soothes, unable to keep the affection from his voice. "Doctor’s orders." 
You nod and he thinks you're nodding off when your hand reaches for him. 
"Come lay next to me," you say with a cracked voice. "Please?"
Joel hesitates before he sees you trying to sit up to convince him. You're gonna be in worse pain tomorrow if you keep that up. 
"Fine fine. Just stop squirmin'."
He toes off his boots and slips off his jacket, placing it over the chair holding yours. After a moment of hesitation he lowers himself onto the mattress next to you, overtop the blanket. He hears your soft sigh as your head tilts towards him. 
He rolls onto his side so he can face you, seeing your eyes closed languidly. 
Your sweet face is highlighted in the dawning sun coming in from the window and Joel feels his heart throb at the sight. He sees you fighting sleep, eyelids fluttering. 
"Go to sleep, baby," he murmurs. His fingers rise between the two of you coming to trace along your cheek. "Just go to sleep."
You give a soft exhale. 
"Feels good having you here, Joel."
Joel feels himself melt at those words, his long fingers finding yours on the bed. He takes your smaller hand in his, rubbing your knuckles with his calloused thumb gently. 
"Will you stay for a while?" You whisper, your eyelids growing still as your body goes sluggish.
He smiles over at your placid face and answers you even though he's fairly certain you've fallen back asleep. 
"I'll stay as long as you want." 
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sweet-as-an-angel · 1 year
Text
Simon “Ghost” Riley w/ a Pregnant S/O
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Warnings: AFAB Reader, pregnancy, minor spoilers of Ghost’s past, mentions of abuse, minor angst and reassurance, fluff, Ghost being protective
When you first told Ghost you were pregnant, he freaked out.
Reagardless of whether you'd been actively trying for a child or not, the fact that it was actually happening solidified to Simon that he was capable of living a normal, happy life, one that he is always worrying will end in some way.
Will take him a day or two to comprehend that you're both bringing a child into the world, but when he does, he's simultaneously fried with anxiety and overjoyed.
He may not show it, having been forced into and training himself to display stoicism at any given point, but he will begin planning well in advance.
Planning for what, you may ask?
Everything.
The safest area to move to (though you'll always be safe with Simon regardless of location), the best schools you can both afford, the type of house you'll live in.
He knows he's going to have to hide his masks when the kid's born.
There are certain parts of his past he doens't want them knowing; most of it, if he's honest.
He promises to be the best father he can.
Having come from an abusive household himself, Ghost would be hesitant to even have a child to begin with, not knowing if he's capable of paternal love.
But when you reassure him that he is the only man you'd want to have a child with, Ghost allows himself to trust, something you'd taught him after a difficult life devoid of trusting others.
He definitely puts his hands over your stomach whenever you're alone.
Looks at your growing bump with all the love in the universe.
It scares him how much love he feels for you and his child.
Never leaves you alone.
With you 24/7.
He's granted early paternal leave by his employers since he's seen as a liability for now.
He knows he wouldn't be able to concentrate entirely on his job, wondering if you're okay.
Tries convincing you to stay inside all the time.
Doesn't want anyone else except close family and friends seeing you.
Doesn't trust anyone to take care of you properly.
Does all the shopping.
Domestic Ghost.
One day when he's doing the laundry, you pick up one of his masks from the laundry basket; one he'd left in his bag weeks ago and forgotten to wash.
"I think you look so handsome in this," you said, leaning against the doorway.
Ghost scoffed. "That supposed to be an insult?"
"Not at all, my love," you said, coming up behind him and placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
"Doubt the kid'll see the good in it like you do," His voice was gruff. He was thinking of something, and you could guess what.
"This," you said, holding up the mask, "is nothing to be ashamed of."
Ghost turned, looked at you, eyes doubtful.
"Then what is it, (Y/N)?" He stood to his full height, blocking out anything that wasn't him.
"It's who you were," you say, carefully. You put the mask back into the basket and place your hands on both of Ghost's shoulders.
"It's proof that you are enough and capable and worthy of having a family," you smiled at him. "This family."
Let's just say that Ghost definitely showed you his appreciation after your pep talk.
Is a very good cook, though only when it comes to simple, nutrition-packed meals.
Goes out and gets you whatever you're craving at that time.
Thinks you are the most beautiful person in the world.
You just have a glow about you when you're pregnant.
Gets extremely territorial.
More so than usual.
Is reluctant to let his associates know about your existence, nevermind that you’re pregnant.
When they meet you, however, he can see that you’ll have an unbreakable support system for life.
They all love you, all offering something of their skill set for your child like the fairies in Sleeping Beauty.
“This child’s got so many uncles,” you said to Ghost after they’d all left, folding some clothes and putting them into the drawer.
“Hm. And not one of them competent.”
You threw a balled-up pair of socks at Ghost, smiling playfully.
“Oi! They’re competent enough to be working with you.”
“Weeding out terrorists and raising a child are two very different things.”
You chuckled. “I cannot argue with that.”
A minute of silence passed. Then:
“You’ll always be safe with us, (Y/N).”
You turned and walked towards Ghost, coming to stand at his side. You took his hand in yours, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckle.
“I know, Love. I know.”
Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)
Masterlist Masterlist [Continued] Masterpost Modern Warfare AI Masterlist
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theriverbeyond · 6 months
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how do we know in the books that john is indigenous? can you say more about how his indigeneity is important to his story?
hello! so there is a word of god post on race (doesn't mention John but mentions that Gideon is "mixed Maori"), BUT I frankly don't think word of god statements are worth any weight without actual in-text support (see: the "dumbledore is gay" situation). SO!
Specific evidence that John Gaius is Maori, as revealed in Nona the Ninth:
When he is listing his education, John mentions having gone to Dilworth School (John 20:8). Dilworth is an all boys boarding school in Auckland and accepts students based on financial need instead of academic or sporting achievements. Demographics appear to be about 70% low income Maori boys, indicating that it is highly likely that John is Maori
John reports that P- said he looked like a "Maori-TV pink panther" (John 15:23) when his eyes turned gold. Maori TV is a TV station that is focused primarily on Maori culture & language revitalization, with presumably all or mostly Maori hosts, and tbh I don't see why P- would say this unless John was himself Maori
John uses a te reo Māori phrase ("kia kaha, kia māia") (John 5:20) when he is saying goodbye to the corpses in the cryo lab before the power is shut off. Though it is possible he said this as a non-Maori kiwi, but in combination with the previous two points of evidence I think this all very strongly points to him being Maori
He also renames his daughter Kiriona Gaia, "Kiriona" being just literally the name "Gideon" in te reo Māori
TLT is not a series that hands you anything on a silver platter but to ME this is all pretty solid proof
Why is this relevant to The Locked Tomb?
In Nona the Ninth, we learn that before he completed apotheosis and ate the solar system, John was basically trying to save the earth from capitalism-caused climate change. Climate justice and the rights of indigenous people over their own land are deeply tied together, in the same way that climate catastrophe and capitalism/ imperialism/ colonialism are linked. disclaimer that this is NOT my area of study and others have definitely said it better; this is just the basic gist as I understand it, but on quick search I found some sources here and here if you want to do some reading.
TLT is not a series that hands you anything on a silver platter, but i don't think it is a stretch to see John as an indigenous man trying to save the earth and getting ignored and shut down at every turn by primarily western colonial powers (PanEuro, the USA) who declare him a terrorist and then as a reader thematically connecting that to the experience of indigenous climate activists IRL
there are absolutely TLT meta posts that have discussed this before me; tumblr search is nonfunctional and I have been looking for an hour and a half and cannot find anything specific even though i KNOW i reblogged multiple posts about this in the first few weeks following NTN's release. sad & I am sorry
I think that by the time the books take place, John is 10k years removed from the cultural context he grew up in, with the Nine Houses having become a genocidal colonial power in their own right (with more parallels to be made between John's forever war for the resources of literal life energy and like, oil wars), but I also think that John Gaius is a fictional character who can represent and symbolize multiple different things in service of telling a story. (not to mention the potential thematic parallels being made to how oppressed people sometimes are pressed into replicating the power dynamics of their oppressors and continuing the cycle--now that is a tumblr post i KNOW i read last year and definitely cannot find right now, once again sad & I am sorry)
How Radical Was John Gaius, Really is a forum thread that was locked by the moderators after 234534645674564 pages of heated debate
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jinwoosungs · 1 month
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{ 137 }
like you do.
jinwoo sung x fem.reader
notes: this story is going to get so meta, so my apologies in advance. also, despite my status of requests being technically closed, this one was too good to ignore. full request description and story under the cut ♡
p.s. - listen to joji’s like you do.
{ and everyone else… they don't matter now | you're the one i can't lose | no one loves me like you do… }
anonymous said: Thank you for answeringgggg. This gonna be long. Be ready to get bored✨🫶 I keep thinking about your Jinwoo post. The divergent one to be exactly. What I've been thinking is kinda similar theme. What about, a reader who's always there for Jinwoo but not visible? Like she's a system or a quiet constellation that supports him from behind but under shadow. In the early chapter when Jinwoo is running out of coffee. Suddenly he found a thermos inside his bag with a warm coffee. He didn't remember to prepare it, but since it was already inside his bag maybe Jin-ah put it in or he forgot, but it was the readers! Another chance, readers always help him in silence like, sometimes heal him a little by little, didn't want make a big question mark if he suddenly fully healed in a sec right? Helping to take care of Jin-ah and his mom whenever he's not there for them, healing the resident when war so there's no much loss happen and many little things that she do to help him. She gets jealous seeing him asking Hae-in to the amusement park, but what she can do though, she just loves him too much to be happy for him to find love. In the end, when he reaches his happy ending, the reader finds the courage to say goodbye. Whispering to Jinwoo's ear softly, saying goodbye and hoping he'll be happy. Then it felt like a snap for Jinwoo. It's... Warm, it's felt like it's always there, the reasons able to fight every problem and challenge, then it's gone, he doesn't feel complete anymore. This time for Jinwoo for searching readers! 📸📸 Sorry if my English is not good, it's not my first language 😔😔. Just want to drop this idea instead let it run around my mind and make me crazy to thinking Jinwoo and his readers who are always there🫶🫶🫶 Love you, my top list favorite person❤️❤️😼
{ ... }
it was pathetic, really.
sung jinwoo wasn't even someone that existed-
so why was it that your heart raced each time you would see his achingly handsome features against your phone's screen?
why does your heart continue to pound and fill your chest with butterflies with each new volume of solo leveling that came out?
and why did you have to get so jealous, witnessing the pure love jinwoo had in his eyes for cha hae-in?
it was so obvious that you were in love with him; genuinely in love with him despite how he would never be real.
in reality, you were bit of an introverted person, attending university with your head bowed down in a manner that let your peers know that you were closed off and shy. that you never could find the confidence to be your true self while in front of those who didn't know you.
perhaps that was why your heart was so drawn to a character like sung jinwoo. after all, he started out as being known as the weakest in the world; a meek and timid man who hid his anxieties behind a kind smile.
but you loved him all the same.
even when knowing he would never be able to see you-
or how you would never get to feel the safety of his arms around you-
or see the passion in his glowing eyes each time he would protect you from danger.
it would never be a reality for you-
yet still, you cherished jinwoo deeply,
like a lover would.
so, you spend your days reading stories pertaining to him, inserting yourself within these various daydreams as you tricked your heart into believing that he loved you, too.
after all, it was the one thing you could do to assuage the heartache you constantly felt whenever you saw jinwoo chasing after hae-in, even after he reset everything in order to protect the world.
even if you could never be his true lover, no matter how hard you tried to shift into his reality and be with him.
with a heavy heart while being surrounded by the various volumes of solo leveling, you lay still in your bed and put your phone down. you had finished re-reading the side stories that pertained to jinwoo's life after the reset and how his shadow soldiers were so happy that he found hae-in again-
and you had to stop because you felt your throat closing up due to the heartache and jealousy of it all.
feeling the warm tears streaming down your face, you close your eyes and fall into what you hoped would be a dreamless slumber-
only to be proven wrong the moment you lost your consciousness.
{ ... }
[ ... resetting ... ]
[ ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ]
[ now loading ]
[ SUNG JINWOO'S GUARDIAN ]
a strange sensation was felt coursing through your veins, and you awaken with a gasp, feeling your heart pounding as your eyes take in the scenery that surrounds you.
it takes you a minute to reorient yourself, with you standing shakily on your two feet, wiping the sleep from your eyes. you were dimly aware of the translucent screens that block your periphery. but... you weren't paying attention to that.
you allow your eyes to look around, widening upon feeling the sudden nostalgia that fills you. somehow... you knew that you recognized this city. but something felt... off.
for starters, the colors were so much brighter than what you were used to. it was as though the city were made by an artist who was passionate about their drawings coming to life. as you were left feeling awed, all while wondering why this all looked familiar to you was when you finally realized-
you were in seoul, south korea-
specifically, the seoul that was the main setting for solo leveling.
you felt the air rushing out of your lungs in labored puffs, your heart seeming to palpitate out of your chest when you allow your eyes to look in front of you, finally seeing the translucent screen and its message:
[ the system welcomes you... ]
"i... can you understand me?" you were speaking to the screen, feeling your heart jump against your chest when another message appears.
[ yes. i have chosen you to help with the development of the future shadow monarch. ]
you recognize jinwoo's title, ready to say something had it not been for the fact that you saw sung jinwoo himself running past you. your heart was caught in the confines of your throat, seeing jinwoo who had yet been awakened.
even with his frumpy appearance and lackluster clothes, your heart still managed to race for him. his grey eyes was much softer now, not attaining the edge of his post-awakened self quite yet. he was uncertain and shy, but you knew that deep down he had a heart of gold that wanted nothing more than to care for and protect his mother and little sister.
that was the sole trait that never changed-
and you loved him for it.
filled with a longing to be with him, to reach out and touch him, you didn't even think twice when you extended your hands out to him. you wanted so badly to touch his shoulder and tell him how everything was going to be okay-
that all of his dreams (and more) would come true as long as he remained vigilant and brave throughout each trial and tribulations he had to face-
yet the moment your hand was place on his shoulder, you felt it pass through him…
your eyes became wide once more, looking down at your hands as you saw that they were also translucent. that your appearance seemed to mimic that of static itself, not quite taking a physical form despite how much you knew that you existed in this realm.
[ i am sorry, but i cannot have your existence meddle with the monarch's story. ]
you turn your gaze back to the screens-
back to the system's way of communicating with you.
[ however, i do know that your heart and soul are pure, and that your feelings for sung jinwoo remain true. ]
[ so i will grant you your desire of helping him. the system i have made for you is deeply tied to sung jinwoo. whatever item you wish to give him shall appear as the young man continues to level up. ]
[ do you agree to remain as SUNG JINWOO'S GUARDIAN? ]
"...yes."
your voice suddenly became much stronger now, being filled with a determination that you didn't believe was even possible. just the thought that you were given this chance to be close to jinwoo was enough to bring you an immense amount of joy.
"i accept being his guardian... and helping him whenever he is in need."
[ ... very well. go on and carry out your first mission. ]
with one last nod, you await the system's next message as it read.
[ MISSION 1: FOLLOW SUNG JINWOO TO THE FIRST GATE; CONSTRUCTION SITE ]
already knowing the scene that was meant to play out, you keep your gaze honed in on jinwoo as he quickly crossed the street, with you chasing after him.
your movements were fluid, and you were so happy that the system gave you the ability to fly, allowing you to keep track of jinwoo and where he currently was at all times. you bask in such freedom of flight and stopped when you reached the construction sight.
as if flight came as natural as breathing to you, you gently land next to jinwoo, seeing his forlorn gaze each time the older hunters insulted him, referring him to the weakest in the world. all you wanted to do was comfort him, and despite how you knew he would never feel you-
you couldn't stop yourself from wrapping your arms around him.
"it's okay, you will become stronger. and... i will be with you every step of the way." you say while keeping your arms hovered over his shoulders, your lips press against his skin in a phantom kiss while whispering lovingly within his ear.
suddenly, you take notice when he perks up, grey eyes filled with a newfound determination. you weren't sure what happened, but jinwoo seemed to find a bit of confidence as he steps closer to the coffee stand and speaks to the worker.
"hi, may i have a cup of coffee?"
the worker gives him a nervous smile while giving jinwoo a gentle shake of his head.
"ah, hunter sung jinwoo... i'm sorry, all the coffee ran out just now."
you watch as a look of disappointment appears on jinwoo's face, hearing him let out a sigh as you quickly called out to the system.
"please, give me a thermos filled with warm coffee, made the way jinwoo likes it."
the system then flashes you a screen, showing you your inventory as a green thermos was seen with the words FRESH COFFEE printed below it. you reach your hand and touch at the screen, allowing the thermos to appear at the palm of your hand before disappearing completely from your inventory.
with gentle movements, you manage to move the thermos filled with hot coffee towards one of the pockets seen on jinwoo's backpack, the sudden weight and appearance of the thermos making jinwoo take a step backwards.
"what the...?!"
you stand off to the side, feeling your heart beginning to race with happiness the moment jinwoo reaches into his backpack and pulls out the warm thermos, his eyes going wide. you couldn't help but gently laugh at his bewildered expression.
he was just so cute to you.
with a smile on your face, you watch as he opens the thermos, taking a swig out of the coffee while letting out a happy sigh. "wow, just how i like it, too. maybe jinah made this for me?"
"i'm really sorry about this, hunter sung jinwoo!" the worker calls out to him, but jinwoo simply smiles back at him.
"no worries! i think my sister packed some coffee for me before she left, so it's fine!"
before you could watch jinwoo enter the gate, you were suddenly pulled back by a force, preventing you from moving forward.
[ MISSION 1, COMPLETED ]
with a look of absolute yearning, you call out to jinwoo,
"STAY STRONG AND BE BRAVE! I BELIEVE IN YOU!"
and for a brief second, before you were ripped away from this tiny portion of his life, you could have sworn that jinwoo turn around to look in your direction-
{ ... }
despite how this all felt unreal to you, you couldn't deny the sheer amount of happiness you felt, being labeled as jinwoo's guardian by the system.
in fact, you had felt so blessed, being a part of jinwoo's most prominent moments in his life.
from his second awakening, being resurrected due to the system's choosing while giving him several side quests and missions-
to helping him heal even the most grievous of injuries when he had to go against kang taeshik-
you were just so elated by it all.
never once did you leave his side, using your own system in hopes of making jinwoo's life easier.
[ COMPLETE ]
[ COMPLETE ]
[ COMPLETE ]
it was strange, but each mission that was given to you was tied deeply to your desire to help and protect jinwoo. whenever jinwoo had a need for a certain potion or elixir to help with replenishing his stamina or mana (especially during his earlier stages of leveling up), it would always mysteriously appear in front of him.
and during the moments where jinwoo showed his concerns for his mother and the well-being of his little sister, you would always stay behind and make sure that they were doing well. you knew that someday soon, jinwoo would make the holy water of life for his mother, but still kept watch over her to make sure that she remained undisturbed.
you kept going through the motions of his life, and once jinwoo was able to safely awaken his mother, you left jinwoo's side to give him a moment of privacy between him and her. even though you knew what would happen (burning the image of his crying face filled with relief and joy into your memories), it didn’t feel right to intrude on such an intimate moment.
yet you leaving the scene in the hospital suddenly brought you to a different part in jinwoo's life.
it had to be sometime after his mother's awakening, as jinwoo was seen dressed in all black. his hair was blowing gently with the wind as he remained seated on top of a building. his eyes were glowing, and it seemed as though he was waiting for something. you trail your gaze up towards the skies, seeing it being painted in an ominous, glowing violet hue.
you suddenly felt a strange pang against your chest, recognizing this scene as being the one that made you so jealous that it hurt.
it was the scene where jinwoo ask hae-in out to the amusement park before showing her the starry skies.
you watch with your heart clenching so painfully when he chooses cha hae-in's number and gives her a call, his voice filled with a gentle fondness as he asks if she was free. knowing what would happen in the chapter, it was clear that she would drop her training, just to be with him.
despite how you felt your throat clenching in response, you were given little time to react as the scene suddenly shifts once more, leaving your form cast to the side as you landed haphazardly against the street of the amusement park.
you could feel the heat dyed against your cheeks, finally grateful that no one could see you. you look to your front to see jinwoo and hae-in walking together, feeling your heartache reach even new levels. surrounding you were people who looked at the two hunters with awe, clearly admiring them as they stepped aside and made room for them, allowing them to walk freely around the amusement park.
if you thought reading this chapter was difficult, then your past self was dead wrong-
for witnessing this in action hurt far worse than this.
you shake your head just then, fighting back your tears as you stood back to your full height. with a determined nod, you take to the skies once more, following the future couple as they continued their endeavors within the amusement park.
you kept your focus on jinwoo, ignoring the pain in your heart each time hae-in was beside him.
like a movie playing out on the big screen, you watch as they rode every ride the amusement park had to offer. their expressions were left blank and filled with a boredom, not feeling the thrills like normal people would.
in fact, the scene was so funny and cute that you couldn't help but laugh.
after spending a few hours tailing from close behind them, you follow jinwoo and hae-in as they had lunch together.
"are you getting bored?"
"hey, no. i'm having fun."
hae-in admits to jinwoo while taking sips of her soda.
you could hear the amusement in jinwoo's voice when he asks, "then how come you haven't cried or screamed at least once?"
he sighs while playing with the straw of his own drink, resting his cheek against the palm of his hand while stating, "the games are a bit 'slow', aren't they?"
"hm, ah... yes..." there seemed to be a bit of an awkward silence when hae-in trails off.
suddenly, your heart was felt clenching once more when jinwoo gives hae-in a charming smile.
"so should we get on to something more exciting?"
her blush was evident, and you could barely breathe when the scene shifts once more.
you were back to the skies now, with jinwoo and hae-in riding on one of his shadow soldiers, a large dragon that flew across the heavens while seeming to cut through the setting sun with its shadowy wings. even as the tears were felt streaming down your face, you couldn't deny that such a scene was utterly beautiful to you.
you could not hear a single word that was being said between them, but you recall their words clearly from reading it so many times, back when your pain felt so fresh- just like an open wound against your heart.
you continue to hover above jinwoo and hae-in, allowing your tears to fall down against his cheek as his eyes seemed to widen in response.
"what... is it raining?" jinwoo trails his eyes up at the sky, and you had to move away from them as hae-in gave jinwoo a questioning glance.
"no, there are no clouds... it's not raining at all."
forcing your heart to calm down its rapid beats, you let out a shaky breath, wondering if somehow...
he could feel you after all...?
you shake your head at the thought and continue to follow them, knowing exactly where jinwoo planned to take her as the scene shifts for you once more. you watch as they arrived at a gorgeous meadow surrounded by the gentle forest, remaining up high in the sky as they admired the stars together.
"system... could you do something for me?"
[ of course. ]
you close your eyes and allow the tears to freely fall now. "summon a meteor shower... a show of the stars and heavens themselves for the lovers to enjoy."
[ as you wish. ]
you allow the system to summon a gorgeous meteor shower, hearing hae-in's gentle gasp while looking up at the stars. streaks of light trailed behind each meteor as the starry skies seemed to glow in response to the strange and ephemeral phenomena.
"it's so... beautiful."
your smile was filled with a hidden sadness, yet you couldn’t deny just how happy you felt being able to do this for him. and as you look over to see jinwoo's own reaction, you felt your heart stop in response.
for he was not looking at the skies or the falling stars-
he was looking directly at you.
"yes... beautiful."
yet before you could even speak, you saw the system's message as you were pulled away from the moment once more.
[ COMMENCING FINAL MISSION: FAREWELL ]
your heart was pounding as the tears fell freely down your face, suddenly taken to what looked like a more peaceful time.
your feet were staggering, trying to maintain your balance when you take shaky steps against the sidewalk. the sun was setting, and you saw what looked like jinwoo in his university years, standing with hae-in as he spoke to her while admiring the setting sun.
you knew what you had to do. now that you had done what your heart had always desired to do, you step closer to jinwoo to whisper in his ear.
"jinwoo, even though i am certain that you never saw me, i thank you for giving me this chance to be with you... to help with making your life even the tiniest bit better."
you let out a sniffle before shakily continuing,
"you have always been a sole source of comfort for me, and i know i need to take this chance and let you go so you can find the happiness that you deserve."
as jinwoo continues to smile down at hae-in, hanging on to her every word, that was when you let your tears fall once more before telling him one last time.
"i love you, and i'll always wish for your happiness."
with those finally words set free from the depths of your heart and soul, you felt a warmth filling you, with your form disintegrating into thin air as you felt your consciousness slowly return back to your world. yet even though you knew you would never see him again, you felt... content-
at peace, even.
[ well done, it is time for you to awaken... ]
the last thing you recall was seeing a blinding light… allowing your body to bask in its brilliance one last time…
{ ... }
there was a sudden emptiness felt within the depths of sung jinwoo's heart-
and he wasn't sure what was wrong with him.
jinwoo was never the same after he lost... something; even after he had used the cup of reincarnation while proceeding to live his life as a normal human being, there was a gaping hole left within his chest.
he remembers the feeling of a warmth surrounding him; of the sounds of a gentle voice calling out to him while encouraging him. it may have been silly, but...
jinwoo developed a great courage and strength thanks to that gentle voice alone.
yet now, he felt as though he had suddenly lost it.
no longer did he feel such warmth coursing through his veins. no longer could he feel that comforting presence that made his courage soar to new heights-
heights that he never could believe he could even reach.
such feelings of emptiness was what ultimately made his heart feel closed off from those that he loved...
from his parents and sister...
from cha hae-in.
he spent the following days being lost in a trance, and he didn't know what to do to feel whole again.
"my, i did not believe that the loss of her presence would affect you so deeply."
jinwoo lets out a gasp, suddenly finding himself within the same meadows ashborn had confronted him in; the moment he had died and was fully reborn as ashborn's successor- the shadow monarch.
the wind was felt coursing through his hair, and he could not bring himself to speak to ashborn, eyes losing what little light it once had.
had he fallen asleep? was that why he was back in the land of repose?
"you are unhappy." ashborn's voice echoes throughout the realm, and jinwoo could no longer ignore him.
"am i unhappy?"
jinwoo was dimly aware of the bitter laugh that escapes from ashborn's parted lips before suddenly changing into someone-
an unfamiliar young woman as his voice takes on her tone.
"have you forgotten? i am you and you are me."
jinwoo recognizes that voice, eyes going wide as he reaches out to the unfamiliar figure-
he was certain he had never seen such a young woman before in his life-
yet that voice-
that resounding voice who always always always seemed to comfort him when his fears had taken over him-
the strange image of the young woman and that comforting voice-
it had to be one and the same.
"who is she?! and... how come i can't seem to find her, or even know her... yet- i-i know her voice! she-"
"the woman hails from another universe, one that is like the world you currently reside it, yet different."
jinwoo could feel his head begin to spin upon hearing such a revelation. "she... she is-"
"she is not from your world. your lives would have never collided had it not been for my intervention."
the young hunter's throat began to turn dry, unable to form a coherent thought when ashborn continues to speak.
"the world she lives in is a safe one; one where the only monsters that exists are simply those selfish humans and their own dark desires. gates and the presence of rulers and monarchs have never touched her world..."
he watches with a fascination, seeing the alluring girl flash him a smile.
"in fact, your whole life may be nothing but a mere story within her world."
jinwoo finally snaps out of it, hands clenched into fists when he asks, "how can i reach her? is there a way for me to be with her with the way i am now? can i use my powers as a monarch to find her?"
"... don't you think it's foolish to give up all that you've known for her?"
ashborn's words were enough to make jinwoo freeze in his tracks.
"think carefully about my words, i told you she comes from a world where beings like monarchs and rulers do not exist.
if you decide to find her; to join her in such a world that is so vastly different from your own, then you will lose your powers as a monarch. you will be reverted back to a normal man.
will you truly give up your peaceful life here? your family, your friends- every battle you have faced will be all for naught if you decide to reach her."
jinwoo allows his hair to fall across his eyes, covering them from ashborn when he steadily asks, "why did you allow her to come here, then?”
a silence was felt permeating at the air, becoming thick with tension as ashborn decided on whether to tell him the truth or not.
"i sent her here, allowing her to live certain moments of your life together solely because of the strength of love she held for you."
that was all the answer jinwoo needed as he met with ashborn's gaze, telling him his answer with a determination seen within his glowing, purple eyes.
{ ... }
you wake up with a start, your breathing coming out in shaky breath as the tears couldn't seem to stop. with a sigh, you cover your swollen eyes with both of your hands, struggling to catch your breath as you sorted through your every emotion.
you felt happy-
you felt love and adoration-
and the pinpricks of heartbreak coming into full fruition at the memory of jinwoo and hae-in together.
yet perhaps more so than that was the feeling of utter peace you felt after waking up from your dream.
feeling your smile going wide, you decide to wake up and begin your day.
you collect the volumes of solo leveling that you owned, making a note to yourself to buy the next volume when it came out. as you placed the solo leveling manhwa on your bookshelf, you begin to tidy up your room (making your bed and charging your phone in the process.)
it was strange; despite how you were 100% certain that you had been dreaming about being close to jinwoo as his guardian, you couldn't deny how much happier you felt once you woke up. it was true, the heartache was still there, yet you knew that as long as jinwoo was happy-
then you would be happy, too.
letting out a content sigh, you decide that it was high time that you changed your life for the better-
all while using the courage jinwoo had given you to become stronger.
{ ... }
there were rumors going around about a cute new freshman who transferred to your university, and despite how you held zero interest for any new students (because truly, new students came in troves each semester), you couldn't deny that you felt intrigued.
apparently, he was korean, with a face that could match with any current idol. according to the rumors, he had messy locks of black hair and dreamy, grey eyes. several girls had already tried speaking to him, practically throwing themselves at him-
yet he would always turn them down and tell them that he already had someone he liked.
but that didn't seem to discourage the girls (and some of the boys, too) from crushing on this handsome freshman. and admittedly, their antics seemed to greatly amuse you.
after completing your study sessions with your friends, you tell them that you had to go back to your dorm and make some dinner while working on your paper that was due soon. despite how they didn't want to see you go, you admitted to them how you would be too distracted at wanting to talk to them to get much work done.
in the end, they relented and allowed you to leave. you were simply walking back to your dorm, finding safety and comfort from within the street lamps that lit up the sidewalks. as you continued your trek, you look up to see an extremely tall young man walking down in the opposite direction.
the sight of him dressed in a hoodie and jeans makes you stop dead in your tracks, unable to look away from him. he also takes notice of your stance, yet instead of ignoring you and walking away-
he takes several steps towards you.
you were frozen on the spot, left staring up at him as the young man pulls down his hood, revealing unruly locks of ebony hair and a kind smile to you.
"hey, i've been looking everywhere for you."
his tone had a hint of an accent on it, but you couldn't deny that his english was impeccable. his presence made you feel butterflies all across your abdomen, and you weren't sure why that was.
"d-do i know you?"
you hear his rich chuckle echoing throughout the campus as he steps closer to you, allowing his large hand to gently touch at your cheek in an almost tender manner.
he whispers your name all while tracing at your bottom lip with his thumb.
"you do know me... i think you know me better than anyone else in the entire universe."
you then trail your gaze up to his eyes, only to see the perfect grey quality of them.
"sung jinwoo?!" his name comes out as a shock to you, yet before you could even fully process it, he takes you in his arms, allowing you to bury your face within his chest as a sense of relief courses through him.
"you have no idea how utterly lost i felt without you... how much my life had gone stale the moment you had said your goodbyes to me."
words were unable to come from your parted lips, your breathing coming out in ragged gasps as you suddenly felt the tears dot your vision. unable to deny the love you still held for him, you allow your arms to wrap around his back-
almost greedily.
"y-you know who i am?"
jinwoo's chuckle was a light one, and you felt something soft touching at the top of your hair when he admits to you.
"ashborn showed me your actions through the system... and once i realized how you were always there for me, i knew that i could not let you go."
he gently pulls you away from his chest, his eyes filled with emotion as tears streamed down his cheek, "i know that it was selfish of me, giving up everything that i have known just to be with you-
b-but in the end, it was worth it because i know that no one loves me like you do."
unable to hide back your happiness, you lean up to meet with his parted lips in a searing kiss. you could taste the saltiness of his tears as he held on to you, not daring to let you go as you basked in the arms of the man who loved you enough to give up everything he had ever known-
a man who would choose to cross universes, just to be with you.
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a.n. - damn, this story was 5k words 🥹 but i hope that this was a story that you dreamt of, sweet reader of mine; one that would help put your daydreams to rest as i tried to bring each word to life. this is unedited, but i promise i'll make any edits after i post this absolute masterpiece of a request
all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.
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dragonmama76 · 8 months
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Working on part 2 of Beginnings, but until then here’s a small interlude. You can read the first bit here Part One
“Are you excited to start high school?” Steve feels like every lame adult he’s ever known, but he’s been wanting to have this conversation for a while now, preferably before his gang of nerds walk unprepared into his alma mater.
“I mean, sure.” Dustin says. “They have an amazing media lab and the AP science teachers are supposed to be really good. It’s never too early to think about college! Uh, sorry Steve.”
“Alright, shut it. If I had a brain like yours maybe I’d be in college now.” Steve rolls his eyes affectionately.
“And I heard Nancy say there’s an after-school club for D&D, so that might be okay. I mean, it won’t be as good without Will there but…” Mike trails off, a frown settling on his face.
“Yeah, okay I guess your demons and dingbats thing could be good.” Steve feels vaguely uneasy. Something to do with that club...it probably doesn't matter.
“Well, I’m also trying out for the basketball team.” Lucas adds softly.
“My man!!” Steve grins and holds his hand up for a high five. “I’m around if you want to get some practice in before tryouts. And I've got an in with the coach if you want me to put in a good word for you.”
“Nice! I'm always up for more practice!" Lucas grins back matching Steve's enthusiasm.
"And nepotism," retorts Dustin.
"Okay, brain boy. I don't know what that is, but it sounds gross and we don't have it." Steve smirks and cocks his head before remembering this was supposed to be a serious conversation.
"Anyway...I just wanted to talk to you guys about sticking together and always having each-other's backs." Steve starts and Dustin, of course interrupts, "Obviously, Steve. Who do you think we are?"
"No, man, I know. It's just that it can be pretty intimidating and the bullying can be...more intense than what you're used to in Middle School." Steve conceeds.
"Like you'd know anything about being bullied!" snorts Mike, "You were the bully."
"Uh...well." Steve doesn't want to scare the kids, but he does want them to be prepared. "I was kind of an asshole for a while..."
"Ya think?" Dustin chimes in.
"Shut up and let me talk!" Steve says in his best mom voice. "I had to learn to be harder in school. My freshman year this older kid made me his target and it was pretty awful. It got so bad I didn't even want to go to school half the time."
"That really sucks, man." Lucas gives Steve a supportive look.
"Aw, what, did he call you names? Make fun of your hair?" Mike sneers. He can't help but run his mouth sometimes. He likes Steve well enough, but not like Dustin and Lucas do and he can't stand how they worship him sometimes. Steve isn't that great.
"Dude. He pulled a knife on me for like, no reason. I was fourteen."
"Woah" Dustin just exhales. "So like, is high school....dangerous?" All three boys are seriously paying attention now, eyes wide.
"Nah, not normally. Anyway, it got better once I was deep in with the guys on the basketball team. So I'm just saying. Find a group that has your back. And you guys look out for other kids too, all right? And tell ME if anyone bothers you. I've got a bat that can sort them out."
"Dude....you can't just nailbat a teenager." Dustin snorts.
"I dunno, squirt," Steve ruffles Dustin's hair and he yelps ducking away, "If I find out anyone is messing with you guys....well, maybe not the nail bat, but just...promise to tell me okay? I don't want anyone of you going through what I did."
"We promise." They all chime dutifully.
"Hellfire!" Mike shouts as they all turn to look at him like he's got three heads. "What?" he says, "That's the name of the club."
"Hellfire." Steve mutters. Why does that name make his stomach hurt? He'll probably remember later. Meanwhile he's glad his twerps are going to have a good support system when they start school.
Read Part One, Part Two, Part Three
Tag list (ask if you want to be tagged for the full part 2) @swimmingbirdrunningrock @phirex22 @lilpomelito @thaliaisalesbian
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bo0tleg · 2 months
Text
GEMS MY FRIEND SAID WATCHING 'TOP GUN: MAVERICK' FOR THE FIRST TIME:
"The jacket! The famous jacket that pulls women, pulls men, pulls the world!"
"Oh look how hot~ he looks on that motorcicle. He's even pracing his ass!"
(Maverick, on screen: "Well... He's not here yet.") The mans madness has begun."
"MAVERICK DON'T DIE YOU STILL NEED TO HAVE YOUR GAY ROMANCE!"
"He lasted two months at Top Gun? HA. He probably was a bigger piece of work than the students."
"From what I can tell, Maverick tamed Iceman. In the first one he was the little annoying bitch and Maverick saw a challenge."
"I mean, at least these two (Penny and Mav) have chemistry. They hooked up in a plane, after all."
"Iceman solves his problems, Iceman keeps his job, what a simp. That's dog behavior."
"Maverick doesn't look likes he's flirting with her, he's just confused. His confused face looks like his flirting face, and people assume. I know this because people do it to me."
"Yeah, he's kinda like that one Olívia Rodrigo song that she gets confused when she sees her ex... What was it again?" ('bad Idea right?' by Olivia Rodrigo)
"I like him (Bob)! He's pathetic like me!"
"Oooohhh they're (Phoenix and Bob) gonna be besties! I can feel it."
(When Phoenix racks Rooster with the cue) "OHOHOHOOOO I LIKE HER ALREADY."
(Didn't notice Hangman taking Bob's cue, I relayed the information) "Aaaahhh don't steal Bob's cue. Bob's cool, Bob's nice."
(After rewinding the scene) "NO, NO, NO! WHO IS THAT? NOBODY CAN STEAL BOB'S CUE! I don't like him (Hangman)."
(Hangman, on screen: Bradshaw! As I live and breathe!) *Slowly turns towards me with dead eyes*
"That's not enemies to lovers, that's just enemies."
"With just this scene, I can tell this guy (Hangman) comes and goes. 'Sometimes I flirt with you, sometimes I hate you.' He's like a tsudere."
"Oh, got it. Phoenix is adopted into the man's group. She's a bro."
"I wouldn't say that they're his support system, but those two are the people that know him the best. Hangman is paying attention because he wants to be the best and needs to defeat Rooster. Phoenix is demonstrating a more sibling like worry."
"Hondo is like Mavericks babysitter."
"Oh. Oh, now Mav's flirting with her."
(Following the 'Baby on Board' comment) "Don't talk shit about Bob! I don't like Hangman."
"Maverick is like a step father to Rooster. Not in the 'HAHA I FUCKED YOUR MOM' kind of way, but in the way that he helped raise him."
"Where is Iceman? I'm here for the two of them, I don't give a fuck about Aeronautics."
"I think Ice and Maverick had a long relationship, but they're not together anymore. They maintained a friendship, but their lives probably went in different directions. I'd say they were together for 10, maybe 20 years."
('I ain't worried' by OneRepublic starts playing) "This song is from 2022? OH MY GOD THE SCENE"
"DON'T PLAY AROUND WITH GRANDPA!"
*Started chanting "BOB! BOB! BOB!" When he got picked up*
*Eeriely quiet during the bird strike, until Maverick starts talking to Rooster* "OH THEY'RE NOT DEAD. THEY COULDN'T HAVE KILLED BOB! IF THEY KILLED BOB I WOULD STOP AND NEVER WATCH TOP GUN EVER AGAIN!"
"Definitely 20 years. Ice is probably the only person Mav actually loved. Like, not a fling?" "Yeah, probably." "He's been with lots of women, and men, but Iceman is the only person he was ever in love with– maybe still is."
"I think his (Ice's) wife knows. That's probably why she recognizes Mav and is kind of friends with him." "That's probably why she just let him go up to see Ice." "YEAH GO AHEAD, FUCK MY HUSBAND!"
"It's pretty easy to notice that Snowman– No, ICEman."
"That is the face of a man who just lost the love of his life."
"Damn, the mans a beast. If It was me I'd already have cried, alone, in a room absolutely destroyed, never to come out again."
"He's got nobody, dude! I just want his step child to come back, because If he doesn't that man's gonna kill himself!"
"Why does it always have to have a romantic ending. Just leave him with his adoptive son. Go away."
"They (Penny and Mav) aren't going to end up together."
"I have a theory! Fanboy is obsessed with women! Cus he's 'Fanboy'." "But wouldn't he be called Simp, then?" "Ah, then he's obsessed with men." "... simp can be for men too."
"There's gonna be a Top Gun Three? Who's it gonna be about? It ain't gonna be Maverick, that man has a foot in the grave already."
"Bob is my favorite in the second movie. I have no favorites in the first one because everybody is very macho and very gay, and that's boring."
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aarontaylorsjohnson · 3 months
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at this point it almost feels like joe alwyn was the one kept locked away for 6 years because the man couldn't fill up his car or get a haircut without getting stalked. the photos coming out now are at events where he has an opportunity to know it's coming, select his clothing and styling, wear a pin representing a cause that's important to him. he has control of his appearances now instead of gritting his teeth during pap walks for backgrid.
we know how ts feels when she feels the narrative is being pulled out of her control ("gaslit by an entire system"). a sense of control over one's own life seems essential for sanity and i don't think it's fair for people to gloss over the part where she agreed to the level of privacy he needed and publicly endorsed it during some of her media statements made during the relationship (which i applaud for being unusually restrained and mature at the time). extreme extroverts and extreme introverts can try to make it work but neither is wrong if it doesn't work (if the breakdown is specifically about that difference between them) and it's kinda crappy to couch it in terms of "being locked away" now. especially since some of the locking away was due to a global pandemic.
joe alwyn wasn't on my radar for most of the 6 years except 1) i felt her music entered a new era of relationship contentment and grown up sensuality that reflected late 20s/early 30s womanhood and then transitioned into a more literary set of albums (folkmore) that had a broader focus thematically and 2) i heard little about him and there was effectively zero romantic drama for 5 full years. what a break for her (and us!).
now i'm more impressed by him than ever. he's quiet in the wake of it all, focuses on his industry commitments and the work he's doing, and absolutely glows with newfound relaxed joy. i absolutely do not think women shouldn't be entitled to have strong, deep emotions and write about those experiences. her work is perhaps the strongest ever in terms of conveying a feminine quixotic, idealized romantic viewpoint and then the flipside of idealizing (it's giving BPD!!!) which is devaluation/disillusionment/disenchantment, resentment, feelings of being deceived or let down ("maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up" being the early and best example).
the way joe has handled this, though, has made his status in my mind go from "just some guy" to an example of stability and fortitude that interests me. I personally believe that not publicly suffering is not necessarily a sign of callous lack of empathy - sometimes it means maturity and perspective. sw*fties harassing her exes want/ed to see a public mea culpa/punishment/expression of suffering that they feel equals their idols' - it's giving fatal attraction from those fans. maybe we don't need our past partners to suffer. maybe processing feelings involves personal reflection and doesn't require another party.
i'll leave off with this to support idealization/devaluation (the classic bpd trend):
Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes
'Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel
Say you're sorry, that face of an angel
And I damn sure would've never danced with the devil
Dear reader, when you aim at the devil
He looks up, grinning like a devil
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thechekhov · 4 months
Text
Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts: CH38
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Rip to these promising mages. I assume they will not survive this massacre.
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IS that where her lungs and kidneys are? Because like. She's huge. Her entire body is behind her. Do you really think she'd keep her vital organs in the little human bulb on the front?
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I mean, he has a point. What are you going to do? Fight off more hoardes of dragons?
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oh noooo, Kabru.... too bad. That's so unfortunate.... anyway.
It's curious that Laios only got knocked away. He was just as likely to have had his head squished like a grape.
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Guys, this is absolutely not the time to be concerned for her privacy.
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Yes, queen. Free the tiddy. Murder everyone in this dungeon. I support women's rights and women's wrongs.
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.......that's. One way to do that. I guess.
.......what's that rock about.
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Oh, I see. That's convenient.
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This guy dungeons! Maybe he even dragons.
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So we got north (tallmen? dwarves?) and then the easterners.... and now the elves of the west?
He's going to give her to the Americans?! ಠ_ಠ
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To be fair, at least they HAD a plan. And they executed it. It's more than you did. I don't mean to point fingers but... at least they... ya know... did something.
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Kabru's like 'no, no, hang on, I need to hear what batshit fucked up thing this dude is going to say next, this is important'
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Laios is so stressed he broke character.
Then again, maybe it's healthy to let them slug it out a bit. Get it out of their system.
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It's true. They wore fitbits and everything.
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...hey, hold on a second.
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Now hold on a minute.
Damn, this is. Kind of even worse because. I guess I could have guessed that Toshi was just pretending to be polite, like you do. Cultural differences.
But the painful thing is, Laios doesn't seem surprised. He just seems resigned. He's been told before that he's difficult to get along with. To the extent that he doesn't even consider Marcille and Chillchuck his friends? Even though they arguably both care about him? But because Toshiro didn't bother to be deadpan about him being a bit odd at times, Laios thought it meant that was fine.
And that kinda hurts. Like damn. Laios just wanted to make a true connection. And I can't really blame Toshiro either, he was just trying to keep the peace but. Damn.
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Free her! Let her do her illegal magics! She deserves it! (︶^︶)
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Thoughts:
Senshi just being annoyed about that one last harpy looking for scraps.... like "shoo, this ain't the time"
That gnome seems genuinely nice. I'm sorry Falin squished his pet undyne.
Kabru hugging his..... mage? Girlfriend???? Seems very...one sided. Kinda feel bad for her.
Laios and Toshiro still going at it, I see. Get it allout, boys.
Uhhhhhhhhhh ninja girls.
Aww, doggo.
Last question: Where did the cat go?
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Senshi: I can fix that.
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Are you all worried because he's finally making sense?!?!
Laios and he punched their singular braincells into several new ones, it seems.
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F./....Falin... please give the caterpillar some privacy........
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My man, maybe lead with that............
I can't believe Marcille was potentially more forward about her feelings.......
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"his pupils are dilated" yes, thank you sherlock. You've finally realized what everyone else who meets Laios feels almost immediately. he's a monster freak club card carrying member. Welcome.
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p.....pubby......
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As long as he was also inside the dungeon with them.... yes.
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The issue with Kabru isn't that he isn't trying his best. It's that Laios isn't trying at all.
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On a scale of one to Kabru, how badly do you react to being offered a food you don't want to eat?
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......oh no. He's so pathetic it's funny. He's growing on me.
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Absolute morons, the pair of them. Immovable object meets unstoppable force. The funniest combination ever. Ghost type and normal type pokemon, forever throwing moves at each other that will never hit. Laios thinking he's made a friend. Kabru just barely stopping himself from killing Laios. Best comedy pair. Tom and Jerry in a can.
Anyway. What a great manga.
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undeadcannibal · 9 months
Note
Hii can I request something for 141 + König and Keegan when their S/O is raging at their game? That’s currently me right now LMAO
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Summary: How Task Force 141, König, and Keegan are with a gaming S/O who rages
Genre: Headcanons, request(s) Characters featured: Price, Gaz, Soap, Ghost, König, and Keegan P. Russ
Warnings: none!
A/N: I feel ya. I’m replaying Horizon: Forbidden West on the hardest difficulty for my second playthrough, and needless to say sometimes my ass just gets handed to me. OTL Thank you for the request though, I hope you enjoy! (Also, sorry Keegan’s bit is short, I’m slowly getting into writing more for him because it’s been YEARS since I’ve played/seen COD: Ghosts) ( Gif credit: xxx )
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Price―
Doesn't game because he doesn't really enjoy them much, but doesn't mind if you game 
If you're raging at something, he doesn't really get it, but also doesn't judge you for it 
If anything, much like Ghost and Keegan, he finds amusement in your rage 
Can't take you too seriously when he thinks you're cute for getting so upset at the game 
Does tease you occasionally, but not to the point you're feeling worse 
Ohhh, will be that one person that watches something and can't help but comment on how it wouldn't work or something of the like
OMG WAIT-- 
"Are ya' winning, son?" meme fits him perfectly 
Totally the type to ask if you're winning no matter what you're playing, or if you're raging
Gaz―
Like Soap, Kyle is a good support system/partner to have when gaming 
Doesn't game nowhere near as seriously, but does have his own moments here and there 
So, whenever something gets to you and you can't help but react, he's laughing and doing his best to reassure you 
Sometimes can't help but be a tease and joke with you, but for the most part, he doesn't mind the raging. Is probably used to it because of Soap, imo 
Ooh, unrelated but kinda cute headcanon for him is he's absolutely the type to help you past a part you can't quite get. Loves helping you with games, he thinks those moments are sweet~
Ghost―
Soap has tried getting him to get into gaming with y'all, but it's just not really for him 
He does, however, like watching you though. Even more so when you've your moments of intense rage 
Like Keegan, he finds those rare outbursts endearing to him in an odd way he can't quite explain 
Won't really join you, but will watch you and even gets into it when you're playing a particularly interesting title
Will be commenting on situations and characters right along with you, and even nod along at those heated moments of raging 
So long as you're not physically destructive or too loud, he doesn't care one bit about those moments 
He thinks he'd probably be the same way if he were in your shoes
Soap―
Oh, this man is right there with you, he's your best gaming partner. Don't tell Gaz that though 
If the two of you aren't hyping one another up, you're raging together during those heated moments 
Doesn't matter what types of games you enjoy, he'll gladly watch or play with you when he can 
Even though he loves to share the moment with you, he isn't the type to be a backseat gamer 
Much prefers to let you figure it out on your own, especially when it comes to difficult puzzles and bosses 
Will also rightfully be yelling and cursing right along with you cause sometimes he can't help himself
König―
Being on the quieter side, I see him as the type to be have a silent and internal anger reaction 
When he sees you raging for the first time, it catches him completely off guard 
At first, he's worried something's wrong only to realize you were just frustrated at something that happened within the game 
He'll understand the frustration you feel and tries to help cheer you up 
He might not get raging at the game - since I personally headcanon that he either doesn't play them, or simply doesn't have the time for them - he won't mind it. Finds it a little humorous when you get worked up over something he thinks is trivial 
Catch him cheering you on and/or encouraging you during a difficult part or boss 
Absolutely hams it up when you're doing well too 
Keegan―
He finds your raging at the game very amusing
Count on him to tease you during the worst moments just to rile you up even more
I can see Keegan enjoying seeing the fiestier side of you regardless of the frustration and anger you're feeling
Still, he'll sit there right with you, and depending on whether or not he's been paying attention, sometimes he'll even join you in said raging
If you were closing to defeating a boss or other player and died before beating them, he'll understand the raging wholeheartedly
Isn't a backseat gamer type, but will offer some tips to try and help you, if he can
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dedalvs · 5 months
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I don't think that any of your conlangs are progressive enough to express being trans, but if they were, how would they? What about other gender/sexuality things?
That first clause is quite a thing to say. Languages aren't progressive. Their users may be, but the languages aren't anything. They're just languages. If you mean they're not modern (i.e. a lot of the languages I create are for cultures that are somewhat antiquated compared to our world), this is true, but that doesn't necessarily mean the languages won't have terminology for different gender identities.
There is a major assumption here, though. My understanding (and please do note: I am a cis man; please feel free to correct), cis and trans individuals, as opposed to nonbinary and genderfluid, are similar in that neither have any doubt about what gender they are, identifying with either male or female. So if any language I've created has a word for "man" or "woman", then there's sufficient vocabulary for a trans individual to express their identity that way.
However, there is a terminological difference, and it's both an individual choice and societal preference: Whether to identify as one's chosen gender identity, as trans, or both (e.g. "I am a woman", "I am trans", or "I am a trans woman"—and then preferring to use one of those or all of those, or some other combination of the three). My personal language preference (as a user and language creator) is fewer distinctions are better (why have three third person singular pronouns—or four or twelve—when you can have one?), because it's less to memorize, less work to use, and demands less specificity of the user—and allows the hearer/reader to make fewer assumptions. Unless the situation calls for it (e.g. the gender system hard-coded into Ravkan in Shadow & Bone), I prefer lumping rather than splitting. This is especially useful as I'm often not in charge of the culture I create languages for.
For example, the languages I've created for A Song of Ice and Fire were for cultures created and maintained by George R. R. Martin. Whatever cultural innovations I have made in creating the languages are, at best, pending—that is, true until George R. R. Martin says otherwise, which he is free to do at any time, as it's his world. As a result, I don't feel confident enough to say what life is like for a trans individual in his world, and how that might be reflected in the languages there. There's simply not enough information.
Where I might be in charge of the culture, you do know my preference now (i.e. fewer distinctions), but, as I am not trans, I'd prefer to leave it to the trans community to decide, and then do what I can to support those decisions linguistically (i.e. to make it work within the language). Any term chosen highlights some aspect of the experience while downplaying others. In English, trans, coming from transition, highlights the change from one identity to another. Other ideas for how to come up with a term might be using a root that refers to "true", highlighting the transition to one's true gender expression. Perhaps another root to look for would be "choose", framing it as one's chosen gender expression—IF one wishes to look at it that way.
In many ways, both the term and the experience are highly individual, and it's difficult to come up with a blanket term and say "this is the term". It's especially difficult since this isn't a life experience I share. It feels both disingenuous and a bit icky to come up with a term to describe an experience that is decidedly not my own.
My own preference in this regard is a twofold approach:
Allow trans users of whatever language to figure out what term works for them, and then support them in creating a term that obeys the various language rules (i.e. the phonology is correct, derived words are derived correctly, etc.). Those users, however, will be operating under the same "rules" that I operate under, e.g. the one who's creating the culture has the final say, if they care to weigh in, and so the result may end up not being canon, at which point it's up to the user to decide whether they care or not. (Note: I shouldn't have to explain it here on Tumblr, but, of course, you don't have to care if the creator of the canon says something isn't so, no matter how many billions they have.)
Allow polysemy. There will never be a term that is THE term. It may be an individual's preferred term, but someone else may like another, in which case it should be allowed.
A very important language-specific note (and the same is true of fandom, generally). By agreeing to work within a language, we're essentially agreeing to rules of a game. The rules can always be broken. When rules are broken, the question language users have to answer is if they've been broken so egregiously that they're no longer playing the game, or if it's fine. For example, if you look at fanfic, there's plenty of fanfic with gender-swapped characters, or the same characters in a radically different setting. Some readers may decide they don't want the characters to be gender-swapped. Others may decide that if it's not in the same setting they're not interested. And that's fine! Both the writers and the readers are deciding which rules of the game can be broken while still calling it the same game. This works very, very well so long as no one gets mad at anyone else. If someone says, "I don't enjoy this because it breaks the rules in a way that ruins my enjoyment", that's perfectly fine. If that same person says, "You're not allowed to break the rules in this way", that's not fine.
So hopefully this all makes sense. And, furthermore, when I say I want to support those who wish to create their own terms, I do mean it. If anyone has suggestions or needs help coining a possible word, feel free to message me! But do bear (2) above in mind. I'm not going to say any term is THE term, and have that be the end of it. It'll be one possibility amongst a rainbow of possibilities.
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