#it feels more like seeing vash's pain and distress

[yuhi-san]

I’ve seen a few posts pointing out how stampede vash lacks the anger that 98 and especially trimax vash has. Which is true.

And it is important. Because vash isn’t the too morally strong or good or kind to be angry or whatever. Vash has a lot of rage about a lot of things. he chooses to be kind despite it rather than not being angry at all.

His sheer determination to not give into anger and choosing kindness over and over again is very important to who he is.

(personally I think that while tristamp vash went through a lot already too, he simply has not quite reached that point)

What I haven’t really seen are post pointing out that stampede vash, unlike 98 and trimax vash, does not cry.

Vash cries a lot. Some of it is for the comedy and because he is dramatic like that and also he isn’t above trying to get pity that way (with little success lol).

But he also cries a lot just… because. I don’t know how to explain it.

Like vash has no shame or inhibition to cry when that’s what he feels. Not gonna lie, I know trimax mostly from spoilers so far (shame on me) but especially in 98 vash cries very freely. He cries when he thinks he will have to watch that ex-mob boss or whatever being shot. Cries after killing, cries after monev kills all these people and he wants to shot him but wont. And so so many more.

Like that time he just suddenly drops his donuts and cries in the middle of the street.

Vash is friendly and sociable on a surface level but he has cut himself off from so much. Keeps so many things on the inside. Crying seems the one thing he doesn’t hold back on. Maybe his only genuine outlet for the pain.

Vash hides his scars, his pain and much more but he never hides his tears.

Vash, in 98 even says ‘is there something wrong with that?’ when the kids note that he is crying despite being an adult.

In contrast to that, stampede vash never really cries. He even states that he doesn’t deserve to.

We see him shed tears just once, at the very end when it becomes clear to him that he can’t save nai and that his brother and him have grown so far apart that he barely recognizes him anymore. He sheds silent tears for nai, for them, at what he certainly believed to be the very end.

Stampede vash is not only a lot more timid than his counterpart but seems overall more repressed and and emotionally dulled/exhausted

#this reminds me that trimax and 98 vash as children would just follow knives around for a looong time with no agency of his own #vash cryinf after dropping the donuts kills me every time #i dont know how to say it but how vashs crying is handles compared to many other protags hits different #it feels more like seeing vash's pain and distress #and less like a visual reminder to the audience that this is a tragic situation #am i making sense? #maybe i am also just a little biased #also adding to this johnny young bosh was so good in that dub #none of the words vor abgestumpft seem quite right hmm #trigun #trimax #tristamp #vash the stampede #trigun 98 #he also tries crocodil tears on meryl but she shot that down when he was barely a sniffle in so there is that lol

[drunkenlionwrites]

Please please please! How about a continuation on Vash's first time with his partner? I bet babyboy is a sobbing mess by the end 😭

Oh yeah, nonnie. Totally. He's a complete mess. Here's a second part, I had too much fun writing it. Basically, it starts right after the ending of "Teaching Vash how to have sex" but can be read as one-shot/headcanons Warnings: g/n reader (was descibed as afab in the first part), inexperienced person, talk about insecurities, alien biology, plantussy and plant dick. Extremely Stampede coded.

You bring him up to your lips and kiss him with all the affection and love you harbor inside you, tasting yourself on his lips and sweeping back a few of his sweaty disheveled locks, that stuck to his forehead during his previous ministrations. “You’re being too good for me. I want to pay you back tenfold, pretty boy.”

You look at him gently and questioningly, while tugging the waistband of his sweatpants he usually sleeps in. At this action Vash gulps visibly and trembles a bit under your touch, his hand reaching down and grabbing your inquisitive one.

“Um…Mayfly…I think that I most certainly look different than human down there…I am not sure you need to see that” he says quietly, his gaze turned from you and his face almost completely red. It pains you to hear these words from him and to see him in such a distressed state after he did anything but worship your own body.

It takes you some time and a lot of gentle touches and soft gazes and reassuring talks to make Vash feel totally okay with this and feel more comfortable and at peace. “Looks like there’ll be things you teach me about tonight after all “you playfully say to him, watching his blush coming back to his face.

After making the atmosphere lighthearted and comfortable for him, you come down a bit, while Vash remains laying on his back, plopping just above the pillow on his elbows. You start to tug down his pants a bit, looking into his eyes once again before pulling them all the way down. After his reassuring nod and a shy smile, you continue.

What you see next is a lot of blue-ish petals folded like a pretty bud instead of what would be human genitalia. Vash looks at your reaction anxiously, while you cannot help yourself, but look at him with wonder and utmost interest. Your hands gently coming up his thighs, placing themselves there, your eyes darting back to Vash’s face. “Teach me what to do next” you say sincerely, looking into his eyes, at what he shifts his gaze to the right, avoiding your eyes.

You bite the inside of your cheek to still your chuckle. You’ve been so close platonically together, and yet he’s still so shy and nervous around you. He stutters and tries to hide his nervousness while saying okay to your request.

You lean a bit backwards and watch Vash’s actions attentively. He begins slowly caressing his petals with his fingers, barely even touching himself. At his movements, the petals begin to stir and unfold a little, simultaneously beginning to produce something wet, judging from the sounds you hear. Vash begins to moan softly, while looking at you with big doe eyes from under his lashes, his eyes now half-lidded and cheeks completely flushed.

“Hey pretty, may I?” you ask in the softest voice, your eyes trained towards the petals he keeps caressing. You can’t leave your hands to yourself anymore. Not when Vash moans so prettily. He exhales a quiet “yes” and it’s all you need to shift one of your hands from his thigh and join Vash’s fingers. You begin caressing him, trying to replicate the way he did, earning a loud inhale from him, as he drops back to the bad and pillows, not being able to handle his weight with one arm anymore. “Please, be tender” he asks, his voice the most high-pitched you’ve ever heard from him.

“I will, my pretty boy. Just tap your hand on the bed if it feels unpleasant or too much and I’ll stop no questions asked, okay?” you squeeze his thigh with your hand in reassurance. After that Vash’s hand covers yours and brings it to his core, retreating to his chest, when he feels you beginning to caress him again.

You continue caressing his folds, one finger swiping gently over one at a time, feeling them beginning to feel wetter under your touch, the petals moving and looking like a flower that is just blooming under your touch. Vash exhales and stops to breathe, you quickly look at his face, but his eyes are fully closed, brows slightly furrowed, his hands gently placed on his chest. “You okay?” you decide to ask just in case. “Yeah…yeah, don’t stop” Vash barely whispered.

You then decide to lower down to him and begin gently tracing the petals with your tongue, just like you did with your hands. Vash stirs and mewls feeling your breath against him, one of his hands planting on your head and gliding down your hair. “oh dear…oh dear…I can’t…” he almost squeaks out. You hum in amusement at cute sounds that are leaving his mouth and continue working on him.

Barely few minutes later, the petals begin to shift swiftly under your tongue, and you look down puzzled, while still working your tongue on them. Once all the petals unfold, you see a small narrow slit, so you press your tongue on it as well. Vash produces the loudest moan possible, the sound of which you’ll surely be replaying in your mind over and over again, and the slit opens up, after which you feel something slowly coming out of it, prodding at your tongue and lips, so you stop and lean back to watch what’s happening.

What is protruding from his slit, is something reminding you of human’s cock, but it’s somewhat leaner and a bluish-white color, matching the color of petals. The tip of his cock is slightly narrower and sharper than human’s. You can only look at him in awe. “Wow Vash, is it what you’ve been hiding from me all this time?? Even your cock is unbelievably pretty!” you exclaim.

“Oh God” Vash squeaks, his hands now covering his face. You begin to grin but notice that his cock swiftly gets sucked in back to the slit, petals moving to cover everything. Your mouth is open agape as you watch this. You look at Vash inquisitively, but he still hides his face under his hands. “Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you? Are you in pain?” you ask nervously.

Vash responds with something, but it’s inaudible, so you move closer to his face, your hands caressing his clothed chest and shoulders. “Repeat again, baby?” you lean with your ear into him, to hear his response this time.

“I got shy” Vash quietly says.

Let me know in asks or comments if you want Vash to actually bag reader at last c:

#vash x reader #vash x you #vash x y.n #vash smut #vash headcanons #trigun headcanons #trigun smut #vash the stampede #no beta we die like rem #lion writes

[whirlwindimagines]

I wanna give vash a comforting head pats and some loving head scritches, tell him he has been working hard and needs to rest sometimes, the world not going anywhere, he can rest. May I request a scenario of vash sad he didn’t save everyone again and is sad, so reader hesitately reaches up to his head before deciding to give him a head pat, telling him he did his best with the circumstances he had, it’s not his fault for being unable to save absolutely everyone, and all that matters is he saved at least someone, and that’s enough? Plz and thanks

Okay but same ;p; Like let me hold Vash and tell him everything is gonna be okay! Studio orange let Vash be happy challenge, please. I’m a little sad, so lol this reflects that for sure This definitely got out of hand and turned into something else 

Lol you can tell I wrote this after my therapy session.

‘I’ll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror’

Vash x Reader

You wonder how Vash can continue like this, the gunfight had been as usual destructive and deadly. Neither of you made out of it unscathed and the town had suffered as well, it broke your heart how much Vash tried to make things right. How he didn't want to hurt anyone or let anyone get hurt, but you can't save anyone and especially not alone. 

Vash had gone off on his own, he checked you for injuries and was distressed to find one. You brushed him off, saying you were fine and that you would take care of it and now you have no idea where he went. He wouldn't leave you here by yourself, you weren't worried about that. But you were worried about him. 

Briefly, you wondered how Vash would handle this, but you knew it would be fake smiles and white lies, he must be tired you were tired of it. The suns were setting now, casting the desert in a purplish red light. You sigh standing and brushing the sand from yourself, you’ve done all you can to help the people here and they didn't want any more help from Vash the Stampede. 

Wandering around the town you found Vash with the Thomas, he’s petting it gently Vash was much better with the creature than you were. You join his side quietly and he greets you with a small wave and a light smile. You try to greet him with one of your own but you can’t you are tired of the fakeness God you want Vash to express some emotion, sadness hell you’d take anger something. 

“Are you okay?” you don't know why you ask; you could repeat his response word for word I’m fine are you okay?

“I’m fine are you okay?” his response pisses you off, you knew the words were coming but you were sick of it. You clench your fist at your sides, wanting to get angry, but you know that’s not what Vash needs right now. You can be angry on his behalf later; he stares at you confused as you deflate. 

“No Vash I'm not okay.” he looks startled, his hands hovering over your body unsure if he should touch you, wishing he would, you step closer to the blonde as he speaks, “Where are you hurt?” shaking your head, he only looks confused you don't know how to express your hurt to Vash. Because it’s not your physical pain that’s hurting you right now, it’s his hurt you care about. You want to cry for him, to scream out and curse the world, because you know he never will, and that’s what hurts. 

Taking a step closer your bodies are nearly touching, you reach a hand up and place it gently on his head. “You did your best, you know that right?” you ask and you can hear the stuttering breath he takes in, he looks directly into your eyes and you can see his begin to water. You smile kindly at him, patting his head gently before running your fingers through his hair so your hand is resting on the nape of his neck. 

He may not want to hear this, but you know he needs to. “Not everyone can be saved, and that is not your fault. God Vash, you do your best every day, and if no one else sees that I do, I see you. We will get through today.” You pull him in closer, gently resting your forehead against his, you can feel him tremble as the tears slowly drip down his face. You hold him to you lightly, giving him a chance to pull away if needed. You don’t want him to, but you know you can only push Vash so much.

He doesn’t pull away instead he raises his hands and cups your face, holding you there so you can't pull away. You startle a bit when you feel his thumbs wipe your own tears, you didn't even realize you had been crying yourself. “It’s just….” You don’t say anything while Vash struggles with what he has to say. You’re hoping he’ll be honest, and not bottle up all the pain.

“I don’t know how to move forward” the words are whispered against your lips, as if he’s afraid to admit it out into the open. you close your eyes, and your heart breaks. Vash moves back, you think he’ll pull away completely but he doesn’t instead he places a kiss on your forehead, and it makes your heart skip a beat. 

Vash pulls you into a hug then, his arms going around your shoulders while yours wrap around his waist, he cries softly and you let him holding on to him tight for as long as he needs. Your hands rub his back under his red coat, “I know, but you are not alone I'm right here and I’ll be right here as long as you need me. Let me help you anyway you need.” you answer trying not to choke on your words, putting as much emotion as you can into your words. 

He sobs, gripping you painfully tight but you don't mind, letting him take all the comfort he can get and asking for nothing in return. His hands shift down your back squeezing again, the action jostles your wound and you let out a pained cry because of it. Vash lets go instantly stepping back. You're shocked by the sudden coldness, your hands hanging limply at your side. He’s looking at you wide eye, “I'm sorry.” he chokes out, he looks like he's going to run you can't let him. 

You move forward quickly, he sees you coming and steps back right into the Thomas the pack animal moves forward startled it causes Vash to lose balance, injury, and boundaries be damned you grab him by his jacket and surge forward he falls straight onto his back and you let the momentum take you with. 

He lands on his back hard, and you land right on top of him straddling his waist you still have a hold of his jacket, “Stop! Don't you dare run away.” you say it a little frantically, “I'm okay really just… stop.” you whisper, he looks up at you his eyes filled with tears. How did you even get here, you didn't mean to be forceful with Vash but you couldn't let him pull away when he was so down on himself. Blaming himself for everything, you know he blames himself for you getting hurt. But these things just happen.

“I just can't seem to do anything right,” he says it with a light chuckle, and you fist the material of his jacket leaning in, you watch his eyes go wide and a blush settles on his face you choose to ignore that. “Vash.” you say his name sternly, and he gulps at your tone, “I am going to say this in the nicest way possible, but if you say one more bad thing about yourself, I'm going to hurt you.” 

You don't really mean it; you could never hurt Vash, but he does this light laugh that sounds real and it makes your heart soar. He grabs each of your wrists, and you loosen your grasp blushing as he looks at you softly. “Okay, I get it… I just don't deserve you, you’re always doing so much for me, and you're so kind! I just feel like-” You cut off his rambling by grasping his hands and intertwining your fingers with him, and you lean forward pressing into him it shuts him right up.

“What did I just say? This world doesn’t deserve you, don't ever think you don't deserve nice things, and comfort. You deserve the world, and I wish I could give it to you.” you pause, your heart beating wildly in your chest, thinking your next words carefully, but you want him to understand. “Can I show you?” 

“Show me what?” his voice drops to a whisper, the suns have long since set and his eyes seem to glow in the moonlight, “How much you mean to me, how much I care.” you wonder if his heart is beating as fast, he nods and you drop his hands they fall limply to his side as you cup his face. “I need you to say it.” 

He takes in a deep breath, the words leaving him in a whine, “Please show me how much you care about me.” he looks so embarrassed, but you smile brightly as you lean in kissing his forehead, “I love how kind you are.” you mutter, he makes a startled noise, but you keep going moving to kiss under his right eye, “How you see the good in everyone.” under his left eye next, “How strong you are, but only use your strength to help those in need.” 

You pull back to check on his face to make sure you're not overwhelming him too much, his eyes are watery again and there is a slight tremble to his lips but he doesn’t ask you to stop or pull away so you continue, kissing him on the tip of his nose, “You put up with me and I appreciated it, even when I'm being difficult.” he lets out a light chuckle at this, and you smirk. Your eyes flicker to his lips and then to his eyes asking for permission to continue, your voice quiet in the night. 

“Please,” he asks and well who are you to refuse, you lean in pressing your lips to his gently, he touches you now finding the courage to do so, his prosthetic resting on your waist, while his other hand comes to rest on the nape of your next. 

You pull back barely out of reach, “And I really love how you never give up, even when it would be easier. You are so good Vash, and if I need to spend every day reminding you of that I will.” 

He lets out a whimper, you lean back into to give him another kiss he holds you close, you feel his grip tighten on your waist. You don’t mind, letting him take as much as he wants. You don’t know how long the two of you stay like this, sharing soft kisses and shy touches. But eventually you pull back, resting your hands gently on his chest. 

“Are you okay? Was that too much?” You ask softly, he opens his eyes to look at you, you can see the blush covering his face, and making you smile. He removes his hands form you, instead covering his whole face to block his blush. “Is that a yes then?” You tease lightly. 

“Thank you…” he says it quietly, and it makes your heart melt, you grab both his wrist and pull them away so you can see his face, placing a soft kiss on the inside of each wrist you smile softly at him. “You don’t need to thank me; I’ll do this every day if you want.”

“Then it really will be too much.” He whines and you laugh getting to your feet and pulling him up. Once he’s standing you drop his hands, “never, I’ll never run out of love for you.” He’s blushing again hands covering his face once more, you love when he gets all shy. You step around him reaching up to tussle his blonde locks, “we need to find our Thomas now.” 

He sighs dropping his hands, “I’ll find her.” You laugh he tells you to wait here and he’ll be back. Watching him leave, you hope that you were able to bring him some comfort. You hope he understood how deeply you cared for him, and that you would continue to be by his side no matter what.

Eventually, Vash came back he held out his hand from the top of the Thomas, you grabbed his hand and he pulled you up, settling you in front of him. You thanked him as you grabbed the reins, Vash settled his arms around your waist. Resting his chin on top of your head you smiled, as you moved the Thomas forward, you didn’t know where to head next but it didn’t matter as long as you were together.

#vash the stampede x reader #vash imgaine #vash imagines #vash x reader #vash the stampede #trigun #trigun stampede imagine #trigun stampede x reader #trigun stampede #trigun x reader #trigun stampede headcanons

[pancake-breakfast]

CW: Suicidal Ideation, Substance Abuse, Severe Depression, Body Horror

It really seems like Volume 6 of Trigun Maximum was about a lot of people trying to cope with Vash. We have Wolfwood, who has his experience with the Fifth Moon Incident plus his knowledge of Knives stacking onto all the reminders the Dragon's Nest gave him of what Vash is. We have Meryl, who ended up getting a megadose of Vash's memories and emotions at the same event, and must reconcile them with all of her own feelings toward Vash. Heck, even Knives spends a notable amount of time mulling over how each use of Vash's angel arm has brought Vash notably closer to death.

And then we have Vash himself. The king of false smiles hiding great sorrow. I've mentioned it before, but I'll say it again: the way Vash is coping with the return of his memories of July can easily be summed up as "not well." Heck, the way Vash is coping with being Vash could be summed up the same way.

And who could really blame him? Over the last two or three volumes, he has:

Realized he was the cause of death for thousands of people, including children, friends, and colleagues

Been reminded that he doesn't really know how to control his power and a slip-up can absolutely cost way more in lives than he's willing to pay

Held the hand of a dying man while knowing that any comfort he might try to bring with his right hand is too late to undo the pain he wrought with his angel arm, listening patiently as the man spits curses at him with his dying breaths

Seen one of his (few) friends slide into depression after seeing him release his angel arm

Had one of his other friends pull a gun on him while his back was turned and steadily aim it for his head

This would be a lot for most people, but for Vash, it's even worse. Vash's ideals mean the cost of even one human life is too high for him to justify taking it. In his mind, they're all his family, bequeathed to him by Rem via her death; to destroy one of them is to dishonor her memory and the bonds that bind him to them. Vash aches both for redemption for what Knives did in causing the Great Fall and for July. He also aches for connection, but has years of practicing not having it, trying to keep distance to keep others safe from him, and to keep himself safe from the possibility of their rejection should they realize what he is and what he's capable of.

The fact that Meryl, Milly, and Wolfwood seem to understand how dangerous it is to be around him and yet continue to follow him seems to be important to him...

...so how does a being who has put over a century of time and effort into protecting people, who may be able to read minds and can definitely key in on emotions deal with this:

The answer is, of course, not well. In fact, Vash decides to go with one of the more destructive forms of coping, choosing substance abuse as if he could just numb it all away to get a moment of escape.

This is probably one of the most upsetting images of Vash we the readers have seen thus far. We're removed from the danger of his angel arm, but too many of us have watched loved ones succumb to some form of substance abuse, or perhaps found ourselves sliding down that trail. To see him so upset that he's giving this path a shot is too real, and that adds a level distress to the gut-punch of seeing him this upset and casually trying to laugh it all off.

We've seen Vash drink before, but it was always in celebration. He breaks out his goofy drinking tie (from God knows where), ties it around his forehead, and allows himself to enjoy the company he's in, if only for a while. In fact, it seems like he might even be feigning his level of drunkenness in those scenes, as more than once we see him pop right up, seemingly sober as anything, when either no eyes are on him or when he senses danger.

But Nightow makes it very clear that's not the case this time. All through the fight where we see him slurping alcohol off his hand, his movements are uncanny. Vash, who usually puts so much work into trying to pass as human, is failing to do so.

This is first hinted at when his attacker compliments his dodging, but Nightow shows it to us some pages later. Vash flows through the panels at strange angles and takes poses that just don't quite feel right.

And then... he messes up.

Senses dulled, mind not fully in the game, and he fails to dodge a shot aimed right for his head. Instinct kicks in, and his body reacts before he realizes.

We haven't seen Vash swear much thus far in the manga, but he swears here. He might have saved himself (and anyone standing behind him) by catching that bullet with a part of his angel arm. In fact, this might be the first time he's had enough awareness during its deployment to see it used for something other than destruction or threat of destruction. But that's not where his thoughts go right now. Instead, they're on the crowd around him, because this tiny display of his power has irrevocably revealed him to be something that is most definitely not human.

Now, they see him as the monster he sees himself to be. He's laid bare before them. The threat of the bounty hunter and his posse is gone, not even referenced again in the chapter. The people want him dead. And to make matters worse, his friend Meryl is having a meltdown at the sight of him.

He knew it couldn't last, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Maybe if he hadn't been drunk or if things had gone differently in the Dragon's Nest or if...

There are a hundred thousand "maybe ifs" and "if onlys," but the chance for them to change has passed. He falls back on false smiles hiding great sorrow, hoping all his emotions will just melt together into an unfeeling mud.

#cw alcohol #cw sui ideation #cw body horror #trigunbookclub #vash the stampede #character analysis #trigun maximum #volume 6 #pancake analysis #ok i think i got the bulk of my volume 6 thoughts out for now #time to move on to vol 7 #cw depression

[anyasathenaeum]

If you are still taking requests! If not please feel free to ignore! Vash x reader. The reader can usually get themselves out of trouble but a rare moment they are a damsel in distress and need help.

A/N: Oooo I like this idea! I made this one a drabble so there's a biiit more context! Thanks for the request, Anon!

Warnings: Swearing, slight violence, Vash being a badass

"Well, shit."

You'd tried handling a situation involving a handful of bandits who were terrorizing a town of innocent people. And while usually, you were more than capable in handling this sort of situation yourself, what you hadn't anticipated was the ability of the bandits to ambush you.

As a result, you were stuck with your arms tied behind your back and strung upside down by your ankles, much as Vash had been the time you found him alongside Meryl and Roberto just outside of Jenorah Rock. You could feel your blood rushing to your head, and you found it hard to breathe as you hung upside down, dangling like bait in the middle of the town square, just waiting for Vash to come save you.

"I wonder how long it'll take before the infamous Humanoid Typhoon shows up to save ya!"

You heard one of the bandits taunting you, but you couldn't even find the words to answer them. If anything, you were too angry at yourself for getting caught to worry about how you would answer the bandit.

Usually, you were untouchable. Nobody stood a chance against you. You had trained and fought tons, honing your skills so that you were a lethal fighter, not one to be crossed or challenged. You hated having to rely on others to protect you, and that dislike remained even after you'd become self-sufficient. You enjoyed other's company, especially that of Vash, but you hated the thought of being a burden on anybody. And Vash...

'I'm sorry, Vash,' you thought to yourself, your anger surging at yourself for having to put him in a position where he had to rescue you, 'I'm really sorry.'

Vash was your best friend, and your longtime travelling companion, and the two of you had managed to get yourselves out of many a situation by working as a team. Then, later on, Meryl, Roberto and Wolfwood had joined you, and while you all got along, you and Vash had a much deeper bond with each other than with anybody else. You trusted Vash with your life, just as he trusted you with his, but even then, you hated putting Vash in danger because of your own stupidity.

"Look alive! Humanoid Typhoon at 12 o'clock!"

You heard the shout of alarm from one of the bandits, and though you were upside down, you could see the figure standing at the entrance of the town square, the familiar red coat blowing in the wind.

"Vash!"

You let out as loud a cry as you could with the small amount of air you could muster in your lungs from hanging upside down. However, the moment you let out the cry, you felt a large hand grab your hair and tug your head back before you felt something wrapped over your mouth, effectively silencing you. You let out a muffled cry of complaint and pain as this happened, and you could hear Vash's voice, surprisingly harsh and loud.

"Get your hands off them!"

You wished you cry out to him again, but you couldn't, instead fighting the looming darkness creeping in across your vision. You knew that were you upside down much longer, you'd lose consciousness, and should you fail to get right-side-up, you would eventually die.

Vash must've known that, too, because you could hear him calling out to you.

"Hang on, (Y/N)! I'm coming!"

You weren't able to call back, but you felt your worries ebb a little at Vash's words. You watched as Vash weaved through the bandits, effectively using his gun to inflict blunt force rather than to shoot, taking down bandit after bandit in his attempt to get to you. You could hear the exclamations of fear and surprise of the bandits as Vash took them down, unable to be stopped as he fought to free you.

Your vision was beginning to blur, the darkness creeping in further. You knew that you were mere moments from passing out. As your eyes rolled up into the back of your head, you just heard a cry of your name.

"(Y/N)!"

You didn't know how long you were unconscious for, but given that when you woke, you still had rope around your legs, you hadn't been let out for long.

"(Y/N)! Oh, (Y/N), there you are! Come on back, there you go!"

You recognized Vash's voice as you blinked, trying to make sense of your surroundings as everything came back to you. You were laying on the ground, being held by Vash, who was looking down at you with a soft smile, his big blue eyes showing relief behind his circular glasses.

"Oh, thank goodness, you're alright," Vash sighed, pulling you into a hug.

"Thank you for rescuing me, Vash," You mumbled into Vash's shirt as he hugged you, with you returning the hug, "I'm sorry you had to come save me."

"What are you apologizing for?" Vash asked, looking at you with a confused expression, "I'm just glad I could be there for you!"

"Yeah, well..." You mumbled, pulling away from the hug and beginning to untie your legs, "I'm just sorry I was stupid enough to get caught. Then you wouldn't have had to come rescue me."

You heard Vash laugh, and when you turned to give him an unimpressed look, he just laughed harder.

"I'll gladly rescue you, (Y/N), as many times as needed. I'd rescue you every day if I had to, and I'd do it with a smile because..."

Vash's voice trailed off, and a beautiful blush spread across his face as his voice dropped to a quiet whisper.

"Because it's you."

Maybe you should let yourself get caught more often.

Taglist: @mossygalaxy, @ryuukami4, @spacioussoul, @iceoblivious

#anya's athenaeum #trigun stampede #trigun #trigun stampede x reader #trigun x reader #vash the stampede #vash the stampede x reader #vash x reader

[tigglerex]

Night Watch

Summary: Vash is weird about getting some sleep. Meryl and Wolfwood have their ways about making him less weird about getting some sleep. Vash has a few regrets.

Words: 1,462

A/N: Lightly implied Milly x Vash x Wolfwood! Vash needs some love. Just general fluff and shenanigans because by god Vash has taken over my brain. Warning for tickles!

Wolfwood knew Vash didn’t need as much sleep as an ordinary human, content with catnaps in the car and taking watch at night. It was one of the first signs Wolfwood spotted that his target was more than he could imagine at first glance – watching him on the roof of the beat-up truck, stargazing with eyes that caught the light and glowed an eerie white like some cat. He wondered how Vash kept himself entertained up there, lost in his thoughts for hours on end. Maybe the long seven or so hours they spent hunkered up and sleeping each night was nothing when you lived as long as Vash did.   

Well, if that were true, then Vash had some explaining to do for the absolute dramatics he was putting on.  

“We’ve spent the whole day in the car,” Vash whined, fidgeting in his seat to exemplify his point. “If we go just an hour longer, we can reach town.”  

“It’s already getting dark,” Meryl replied. “I’m not exactly planning on strolling into a new place in the middle of the night. We don’t have money for an inn, either.”   

Vash sighed, settling back down in his seat. It was unusual for him to put up such a fight, especially about something so inconsequential. Vash was the kind of guy to hide his own feelings and put himself last. He’d never minded nights out in the desert before.  

“What’s eating at you, Spikey?” Wolfwood turned to the deflated man beside him.  

Vash took his time responding, looking out the window like he was mulling the question over in his head. “No, it’s fine, it’s just... uh... No, it’s good. Thanks, though.” That was more like the Vash Wolfwood knew, but that wasn’t really making him feel any better. Meryl, satisfied with an apparently exceptionally safe piece of desert in the middle of nowhere, stopped the car, leaning over the driver’s seat to watch the drama unfold. 

“Don’t give us that.” Meryl said. “You don’t get to back out of this now.”  

“Yeah!” Wolfwood agreed. “Hell, you’ve been kind of a pain in the ass half the day.  

“Let’s just drop it.” Vash put his hands up in a defensive measure. “I’m sorry, I’ll keep night watch. You two get your --”  

Vash yawns, and suddenly everything clicks into place.  

“You’re tired.” Meryl says what Wolfwood’s thinking. Vash laughs awkwardly. 

“This is embarrassing. Plants normally produce an excess of energy, and I produce a little bit, but... it’s not enough to keep myself running without sleep. I don’t need a full eight hours or anything, not all the time, but we’ve been pulling a lot of night shifts, and I’m tired. I was just hoping we could get a place to rest.” Vash says it like a confession. Wolfwood, despite his profession, hasn’t heard a stranger confession in his life.  

“It’s no big deal.” Wolfwood shrugs. “I can keep a lookout. You get some sleep and get that grouchiness out of you, you hear?”  

Vash laughs again. That damn awkward, hollow fake laugh that Wolfwood can’t stand. “Seriously, I’m sorry, you all need your rest more than I do. I’ll nap a bunch in the car tomorrow and catch up.”  

Wolfwood feels the urge to grab him and shake him around to get some sense into him, so he does. He reaches to grab him by the lower sides to show him what for. Vash makes some strangled squeaking noise not unlike some distressed kitten, and Meryl and Wolfwood both proceed to lose their minds laughing.  

“Don’t laugh!” Vash pouted. There was a smile tugging at his lips, too – it was hard to see his friends smiling without him smiling, too. “I’m just a bit sensitive.”   “Holy shit, I could tell,” Wolfwood got out through his own small laughs. “So...” He rested his hands on the softest part of Vash’s side, right beneath his ribcage, tapping his fingers in a menacing way that made Vash want to bolt. Vash backed himself against the car door. “I wonder what I could do to tucker you out a bit, since you’re absolutely not tired.”  

“Wolfwood! Cut it out! Meryl, help! Please!” Vash called out. Meryl shot him an amused glance, reaching for the car handle menacingly.  

“Sure. I’d love to help. Wolfwood, I’m going to open the door, keep him still.”  

“Wait! Wait – wait, please, sorry, wait, NO!” Vash squeaked, squirmed, and wiggled as Meryl got out of the car and opened the back door. Wolfwood kept good to his promise, keeping Vash still. Vash did struggle a bit, but his whole body felt weak, giddy, and fuzzy, like he’d spent a bit too long at some shitty tavern. Wolfwood pulled him a bit further from the door as Meryl opened it, giving Meryl enough space to squeeze in and shut the door behind them. To make matters worse, Wolfwood scribbled at the soft spot he had grapped on Vash’s sides, and Vash thrashed. He almost slammed into Meryl, but Meryl caught him in time, holding his arms up. He squeaked and squawked, and Wolfwood relished in the cacaphony the tiny Jeep became.  

“What’s wrong, needle noggin?” Wolfwood teased, deciding now to massage deeply into that hellish spot he found.  

Meryl took the chance to make her move, gently scratching at where her hands now rested under Vash’s arms. “Oh, I should write a report about this,” she mused. “The Humanoid Typhoon, master shot, even better master at taking shots, is tickled to bits and declared sleepy.”  

Hey! You – ah! Pleaese!” Vash shut his eyes and giggled. Wolfwood quietly sighed to himself. After almost a year off and on of travelling together in the desert, hearing a genuine, soft laugh from Vash was like rain in a drought.  

Please what?” Meryl tsk’ed. “Vash, you’ve always been so bad at telling people what you want.” She moved her hands to Vash’s stomach, experimentally scratching. Vash’s squirms lightened, and his giggles somehow seemed to sound a bit lighter and softer. Oh. He liked being touched there. Cute. He didn’t seem exceptionally ticklish there, but Meryl was perfectly content staying there and letting Vash melt against her chest.  

Wolfwood, on the other hand, was out for the kill. He moved lower on Vash with a certain playfulness, the same playfulness that struck him when he wrestled Vash and chased him around. It wasn’t often he got the chance to shut Vash up, and holy hell did the mess of a man need to get shut up sometimes. It was nice to be able to get Vash out of his own head, too, anxious overthinker that he was. Wolfwood experimentally squeezed at Vash’s thighs, then down to the underside of his knees, and --  

Vash bucked, barking out a sharp laugh that caused all three mischief makers to stop dead in their tracks. Wolfwood grinned at him hungrily. Vash whined.  

Wolfwood didn’t need any prompting to grab Vash’s ankle, scribbling away at that underside. Vash thrashed, his laugher more intense now, and Meryl switched between tickling along his sides and holding the damn disaster still.  

It was a good while before the pair let up, the cold of a desert night replacing the day’s residual heat. Vash couldn’t stop giggling for the next few minutes, embarrassed and now even more tired. Wolfwood thanked the heavens in his mind for making his needles so damn cute and painfully human. Meryl sighed, a bit more endeared than she meant for it to be.  

“Alright,” Meryl patted Vash gently. “You ready for some sleep now?”  

“Seriously, I can ke – AH! Okay, okay!” Vash worked himself up into another fit of giggles, curling up defensively in the seat between his two travel companions.  

With that, the pair made their sleeping arrangements – Meryl would sleep all night, since she drove (as always, she grumbled) and Wolfwood would keep watch until Vash woke up. Meryl said something about going to the driver’s seat and leaning back to sleep, but that didn’t happen. Her and Vash sprawled out in a pile on the back seat somehow, Wolfwood keeping watch over the desert and stealing occasional glances.  

The pair looked incredibly peaceful, Meryl softly snoring and Vash’s plant lines ever so faintly glowing – while they didn’t come out in quick naps, Vash had trouble hiding his markings while deep asleep. It was quiet. It was cold. It was comfortable. The glow of worms and stars hung overhead.  

Wolfwood suddenly understood why Vash didn’t mind keeping watch.  

That was one of his final thoughts, before he woke up pretzeled in the pile, the car unwatched. Shit. Whoops.  

#trigun #trigun stampede #vash the stampede #tickle fic #tickling

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Trimax Thoughts Vol. 3 Pt. 1

Some more miscellaneous thoughts. I realized it's actually more convenient to do these before any analysis because. Well. I actually haven't read this manga before. Why was I trying to do full analyses before just letting myself read it. Why am I a dumbass.

Anyways.

It's the repression my dude

(Ok but can we talk about how Wolfwood doesn't really lie and his eyes convey his emotions whether he wants it or not and he still feels strongly because that attachment keeps him going and then how Vash has had to withdraw and shove everything into a box somewhere deep inside him because he always has to maintain a distance and always has to leave aughhh)

Ohhhhh that part where Vash is able to tell exactly how many strikes are incoming... I love how he becomes really precise and calculating in a fight. It's a really great way to show the severity of a situation and his skill and experience! (Bonus points: he does this in Tristamp too - I still cannot get over the way the animators chose to have him move right before he pulls out his gun in ep 1 - I went on an unhinged ramble about that. He's always fluid and grounded. I adore those animators they did a fantastic job.)

!!! I think this is the first time we've actually seen Knives' face since the Fifth Moon Incident! ...there's something to examine in this.

Feral Wolfwood <3

Yikes. If we wanted more emphasis on the way a lot of people around Vash do not stop to consider the severity of death. The violence is so typical in this world it's treated as a scene from which one can be detached. Vash's honest distress and compassion as entertainment :(

Hey. What the fuck.

The baby with the gun would be a lot funnier if I didn't know what Leonof had to do to people to make his puppets.

SICK AND TWISTED. WTF.

Ok say what you will though but Leonof so far has been the only one of the GHG that I think actually understands the assignment. Like. Yeah, this sure is the way to fucking break the guy. What the hell.

Oh, Vash knows him? Maybe that's why Leonof knows how to hurt him so well...?

AUGH he had puppet Doc, who vouched for Vash earlier to Brad, call him a demon!!! This also means he was killed! WTF

AUGHHHH wolfwood :(((

Meryl and Milly I love you so so much

Whjfhbdsjfbhv??? Girl??????

Vash: *starts blaming himself* Luida: "no." Vash: "oh, ok." :(

Hair down Vash <3

I really love the way we find out a bit more about Vash in this chapter. Him taking Meryl and Milly to a special place that helps him relax and heal and feel closer to Rem, even if he doesn't quite tell them that's what it is. Meryl knowing it's important somehow anyways and feeling like she can see him a little more clearly. Wolfwood freaked the hell out by the idea that Vash is immortal, but instead of leaving it at his assumptions, he still goes to talk to Luida and ask questions, who immediately proceeds to emphasize how lonely yet kind he is. We learn a lot about Vash in this chapter without him actually revealing anything about himself directly - all through other people, and the impact he's made on them. And I like how even though we find out more and more the differences between human and whatever Vash actually is, we circle right back around to confirming what we already knew about him from the beginning - he's fundamentally a kind man with a lot of pain in his heart who always makes the active choice to be nice. Just. Agh.

Wolfwood, running while carting his stupid IV pole over his shoulder: "oh fuck I need to protect women (and Vash)"

Softest look I've ever seen. What.

But ohhh does this make me happy. Because he's spent this volume thinking Vash has no survival instinct because he's immortal, etc., which terrifies him because he cannot understand not fighting to survive. Vash's smile makes a comeback here, but he now understands that it's not just a mask, it is the way he fights to survive. That smile is Vash's struggle to live in the same way the violent struggle is his, and Wolfwood I think/hope is starting to realize again that the gap is not so wide between them. He's calmed enough to remember that he actually likes this guy. Augh.

#trigun #trimax #trigunbookclub #storyrambles #<- not as much this time i promise!

[the-nysh]

I've found myself thinking a lot about how, beyond Vash intentionally being written to feel younger, a lot of Tristamp's personality and skillset differences compared to 98 or Trimax Vash are attributable to him having a wildly different upbringing than them. They spent a few decades wandering around with Knives, while Tristamp Vash was rescued and raised by Ship 3. He feels so much more emotionally open to forming new bonds, despite very poor attempts at keeping his distance. It's interesting.

And that distance apart also applies to Knives' perception of him, for why he sees Vash so 'young' too, as he (they) spent most of those long lonely decades separated, not even getting to actually know him to understand just how....independent among humans Vash actually became. :')

For Vash learned how to survive and pick up skills, for ex in diplomacy and deescalation, how to 'mask' and distance himself--both his pain and true nature, from people in harmless/presentable ways too, how to fight with his hands and gun like a human would when necessary, and how to communicate as an important bridge between their two species, by helping others and being 'in tune' with their pain--even their ailing sisters who otherwise had no way to voice their distress and need for help to their human caretakers, who'd 'lost' much of that information from the fall. Vash is there, struggling and endeavoring to help save and (re)connect everything that was lost, so those tragedies don't keep happening again.

But instead of seeing all of that Vash has been doing in those 100+yrs on his own, Knives still only envisions and misses that idyllic 'little brother' from their past, whom Knives only knew and lived with for that comparably short time in their childhoods. Who's just as 'young'--weak, naive, powerless, unskilled, and incapable of protecting himself as a 'Plant' then, as he is now, in his eyes. :')

Makes you think how much Stampede Knives' perception of him would have changed or been different too, if they had spent those same decades wandering around together 'bonding' in the aftermath of the fall. Instead, to him, Vash ran away from the start and 'chose' humans over him. Just like Rem did. Repeatedly, after everything Knives has seen humans do to their kind: betraying, hurting and hunting Vash down much like they used/exploited Tesla. And he just can't understand why Vash persists in betraying him returning to their side for emotional support. Gawd (he really does think he's ill/'infected' in the head, nor does he see that forcing Vash to see 'his way' is another type of abuse...) The result is that they have an even bigger gap in (not) understanding one another or fundamentally seeing each other eye-to-eye even more because of their distant 100+yrs 'upbringing' spent apart. Tragic. :'))

#trigun #commentary #sutekiniichan #replies #whoops didn't plan to segue so much into talking about knives #but lmao here we are :'D

[greetingfromthedead]

C59: Comfort in Knowledge

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Series Rating: 18+ / Explicit

Chapter: 59/84

Words: 1.9k

Warning: This chapter handles some very dark themes including nonconsensual human experimentation, dehumanization, torture, mutilation, impregnation, and miscarriage! You'll find a chapter summary in the end.

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You are still in his embrace; you barely breathe as your mind races, the pictures and shards of information flowing through your mind. There are still a lot of details missing; years worth of logs are lost, or at least haven't come up yet. You have no idea of the extent of the experiments that were done; this is but a small sliver. And you're still missing a crucial detail.

You pull free from Vash's arms and look for the tablet; your eyes lock on it. From this angle, you don't see what exactly is happening on the screen; you just see movement, and since you've learned that the videos don't loop, you can only assume the video is of the same experiment. Your hand reaches out for the device, but Vash grabs your fingers instead.

"Maybe you should take a break. This is a lot, and it is horrible." His voice is sad, and as you look into his eyes, you see sorrow in them.

"There it is... the pity I don't want. Don't feel sorry for me... Don't take it on yourself to make it better. It's not your job; you didn't do this, and you have nothing to be sorry for. Nothing will ever make this okay anyway. Now give it back; there is still more. If you don't want to see it, then I can go on by myself. You can go to Brad and tell him I'm fine; I'm sure he still beats himself up over it for whatever reason."

"But you aren't fine. You shouldn't be. You have every right to be angry, sad, and horrified." Vash's gaze is tentatively on you, looking for any hint of the different emotions that must be boiling in you, but there is nothing but neutrality.

"Don't tell me how I should feel about this. It is what it is; it can't hurt me anymore. That man is dead; that's the past. Nobody will strap me to a table again and pull me limb from limb; they won't cut me open like a roast tomas; I will not feel this pain again. I am fine." Your voice is calm and collected, with unwavering stubbornness reflecting from your face. It reminds Vash of the early days; your headstrong nature has captivated him since the beginning, your bravery, and your willfulness.

"If that is what you want," he lets go of your hand and picks up the tablet, swiping away the video before handing it to you. "I am not leaving your side."

"That is your choice." You sound a little bit sad, but Vash is unsure why.

December 20th, 2455

0325's body has rejected now all of the 25 human embryos I've tried to implant; none have been attached. Her body destroys the cells completely in a matter of hours and absorbs them, similar to poisons. I have little hope for Plant cells, but perhaps they are more resilient. I will start with the first set tonight.

The results for Plant cell implantation are the same as with human embryos; the body rejects them completely, making me believe that her immune system rejects everything that is not biologically hers and makes the body attack it. I wonder what it includes, how it would react to sperm cells, whether impregnation inside the body is possible, and how her egg cells would react outside the body. I have more work to do; I need more of her.

The period dedicated to research on her reproduction has had interesting side effects. To provide optimal conditions for fertilization, I have cut down on physical experimentation, only dabbling in cloning as per previous reports, and it seems her consciousness has returned to some extent. She is no longer a mere husk; she appears to have an understanding of her surroundings and has vocalized distress, but she doesn't appear to have memories. This requires further research.

January 10th, 2456

It has all been a failure. Subject 0325's body reacts to all foreign cells. Impregnation with the current means is futile; the only unexplored path is that of Independent Plants. In theory, the biological makeup could be similar enough to hers, but I have no way of testing that. I am inconsolable, my Eve is useless, and the only comfort these days is her music of agony. But her cell rejection goes further; her body seems to learn from previous experiences. At some point, she has started to reject Plant organs, no longer working to adapt them but instead destroying them and replacing the missing part with her own. I am not aware when this change took place.

I have delved into research on the soul and the Higher Plane. I believe there is a connection between subject 0325's mental state, her soul, and the plane of the Plants. As a short recap: for a while during my extensive research into her regeneration, she was wholly unresponsive, and she triggered the ship's sensors about the disturbances in the fabric of our world. Her body reacted strongly to it, but at the time I believed it to mean little more than her healing ability kicking into higher gear and her subconsciously drawing out more energy from the Higher Plane. My theory has changed slightly. I believe the signals stemmed from her fake gate widening as her healing abilities hastened after those incidents; the difference was so small I missed them previously. I believe her soul is slipping into the Higher Plane, and this action has something to do with her memories.

Today I showed her old recordings while measuring her brain activity. They seemed to trigger memories, meaning they weren't deleted completely even during the experiments. This means that not only do the cells regenerate with full data of what they need to be, but for brain cells, it also contains information about all the connections since, after experiments 2567 and 2843 (attached), all brain matter has been regenerated from zero. The other possibility is that the memories are connected to the soul and are being stored in the Higher Plane.

[attachment missing]

[attachment missing]

You look at the messages appearing as you swipe away from the text. There are no videos, but a slightly blurry thumbnail in the background depicts you inclined on the table and the robotic arms all honed in to the top of your head. You don't see anything more, so you keep going.

January 31st, 2456

I have hit a wall with my research; my current skill is not enough to delve into memory modification through manual rewiring of neural pathways, but I have found no other way to prove my hypothesis of her regeneration being so advanced that her cells remember everything, perhaps though there being a version of her blessed with instant regeneration existing on the Higher Plane.

Pain acts as a stimulant, keeping her soul from slipping into the Higher Plane. It is unclear what makes her travel or if there are alternatives to my current methods. I have found a compound that will continuously attack her nerves, but it is just a matter of time until she has developed resistance to it. Physical means remain the only alternative. She sounds beautiful as she sings.

It is unclear if she is capable of learning to control her fake gate, and if so, it would mean an end to her slipping away. Maybe the Higher Plane is simply preferable to this world, her soul desiring to be there in comfort but being forced back because of its tie to the body. This could mean she is immortal as long as her soul is tied to this realm.

Eve has yet to bear children; my research is stunted by her defect. She repents with her screams for each of her failures.

"Disgusting." You have never heard quite a tone like that in Vash's voice—the condemnation dripping from the word. This is the first time he vocally reacts to anything he has seen on the tablet.

"Yes," you simply acknowledge it and swipe, but the next text coming up is not dated after January 31st of 2456, but instead dates all the way back to 2446. You keep swiping without reading the logs to see that the following reports are all jumbled up, their titles probably got damaged and don't align anymore, and the attachments that might have been once added don't pop up. It's just more text.

You go back into the folder view to see that you have tens more text files to read, but instead go to the other media files. You open them and start going through them. You don't linger on any for too long; your brain takes in most information at a glance. There are hundreds of pictures of you, cut open one way or another; on many, you seem to be conscious; on others, your eyes are closed. It is hard to date them; you always look the same, with the only exceptions being some pictures and videos from the beginning of his experiments. The videos are mostly of either the doctor dressed head to toe in surgical attire or the robotic arms performing surgery, removing organs, replacing them, or just taking samples. There are videos of you thrashing on the table as you're tied up, screaming at the top of your lungs, praying and begging to die, with tubes and wires covering your body. They all start to look the same to you—just more and more horrors that you've mostly forgotten. Only a few new memories pop up, stemming from the tail end—the months leading up to the crash. The buzzing in your head is gone; you know, they were the machines constantly working around you, the robotic arms and devices. The screams are gone. There is no more noise pushing against your skull; the pain and discomfort have disappeared.

"How are you feeling?" Vash asks quietly; his arm has remained reassuringly around you all this time.

"Disappointed. You'd think that the man who tortured me for his own sick desires for over a decade would know everything about me... Yet he still didn't give me the full answer I was looking for." You stare at the screen, a list of chemicals and doses written neatly in a table.

"That's not what I meant." His voice is soft.

"Oh," you sound like you only now realize what he said, "I'm fine."

"Really?"

"Yes. Don't worry your pretty head about it," you smile at him brightly.

His eyes remain concerned and sad. He is shaken to his core by this information; never could he have imagined the extent of this kind of cruelty. He remembers Tesla, her remains, and the brief overview of her given on the ship's computer; it was enough to nearly drive him mad. But this was worse. Not only were there notes about what was done, but he also saw the pictures and videos of the procedures. All the pain, suffering, and death that one man caused. He doesn't have the right to fall apart at this information, but you do, so how could you smile and say you are fine? Your screams of pain ring in his head.

"At least I know," you say, looking back at the tablet. "I know how I became this way; I don't know why or what exactly I am, but I have an understanding. Maybe it's true that the Higher Plane or whatever held my memories; maybe my soul yearned to be there because it's comfortable; maybe that's why I slipped into madness, the voices calling me back. Maybe that's where the desire to lay to rest stemmed from. But now I am bound by more than just my body to this mortal coil. Maybe now that I know the truth and remember more... maybe my soul will want to stay. I have you. You feel like home to me. Maybe my days of slipping away are past, and maybe if they come again, you can guide me back like a shepherd."

Chapter summary: The doctor continues his experiments to make Iris bare children, but human embryos and Plant cells fail, her body destroys the foreign matter. It is unclear if a male Independent would yield results, but all other explored options fail. With less torturous experiments, Iris' memories starts to return. Instead of adapting transplanted organs, Iris' organism destroys them and generates new ones. During experimentation the doctor came to the conclusion that her fake gate has the ability to rip itself even more open and that hastens the healing factor, he also theorizes that all of Iris' memories are stored in the Higher Plane and that causes her to slip into the other dimension, because it is more inviting and comfortable with all the knowledge there. This could mean she is immortal as long as her soul is tied to this realm. Years worth of information is missing from the logs and a lot of it is jumbled up. Iris doesn't regain many new memories from this, but the noise and buzzing in her head disappear. Vash seems to be more shaken up by the information than Iris who assures him she's fine.

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#tempest wind #fanfic #fanfiction #writing #Trigun #trigun stampede #tristamp #Humanoid Typhoon #vashxreader #vash x reader #x reader #plant boi #Vash the Stampede

[insilentruin]

The King of Loneliness ?

| 🗡 | It used to be, that the long silences inside the Ark were filled with calculations, plotting his next move, contemplating the demise of the human race, keeping track of his machinations that his chosen few carried out.

Lately.... The silences were nearly maddening with cyclic thoughts and questions. Fears reawakened that he could not force to perish again. What was this need he felt? What was it for? His inability to answer those questions made it worse. It was a desperate longing for someone to guide him, take this burden from him, give him the answers he needed to fix whatever was wrong with him.

But. Of course. The pain of that need did not produce someone who could give him those answers, show him how to fix it. No. It just left him feeling empty, and alone.

I did this.

And knowing it, wanting to own that fact and decide to change it, did not ease the issues the desire propagated. It also didn't rid him of the realizations of what would have happened if he was been like Nai, and gotten to carry out more things until he'd either killed Vash and humanity, or been defeated. Either way, he lost. Either way--he lost. Either way. He. Lost.

It echoed inside him endlessly. Until he thought he would scream from it. It was then that he felt her calling to him. The song growing in distress for him, piercing the miasmic thoughts inside his mind until he couldn't ignore her. Alerts were sounding on the consoles that monitored her containment, and he sucked in all of the sensations with a physical deep intake and got up to see to her.

He stopped the alerts, to avoid anyone else coming to check on her, and dropped down to the walkway that would put him level-most with her emerging from the inner sphere. He wondered for a breathless moment, watching her move with her feathered appendages and and long limps and the beauty that all of his sisters possessed in that otherworldly way, that she may be one of the oldest Dependent Plants still alive. And yet, timeless all the same. It was at that moment that he felt what a burden his own freewill truly was. The ability to choose, and having chose wrongly. If only he were taken care of, as she was. Or used, and discarded. What a fickle and strange place for his mind to have gone. Was it--easier, to not have to choose?

Her song within his mind called him back to her and he pressed his whole front to the barrier between them. One cheek flattened against the barrier and he felt the warmth of her closeness through it and close his eyes to listen and feel her mind. The somewhat comfort she could offer. Their communication was a sophisticated tangle of images, emotions, and intensions, with no room for falsehoods. His delusional beliefs of before had endured, but not now. Not since the disillusionment of his entire supposed purpose.

It had been a line of thought lurking in the back of his mind for a while, and she eased it to the surface, did not let him turn away from it now. For all the knowledge he ever held of the humans and all of their flaws, he had thought himself above them. Even as he succumbed to the same mistakes himself. Possibly the first Independent Plant to become no better than the worst of humanity in all its history.

Except you have not. Not yet. And not anymore. No so much words, as a complicated radiance of emotions and images. She was right, but he didn't believe it himself. She saw everything he experienced of the other Nai, the things the other had done, and planned to do, the things that he may have resorted to--

But NOT now. Change now.

A disgusted snort escaped him, and covered the near-sob that wanted to tear from his chest. He was so tense he was shaking, holding onto the heated barrier between himself and his sibling as his only lifeline, the only thing keeping him upright.

But how!?

The question echoed in his mind. She did not have a solution for him. None of them did, none that could hear their connection. How indeed. He still hated the humans as a whole. Filthy things, more often twisted and cruel than not, from his own experiences. His own fears. His inability to see the good in any of them... except... NO. He recoiled from that line of thought immediately, he was definitely not ready for where his mind would go there.

His sister eased herself back into the open-most parts of his mind, and filling it with warmth and all the reassurance the Plants near him could muster. They supported him, and they knew who could help him. Their Red Brother. The one who could see the best in humans, even at the worst of times.

Not yet. I can't. Not yet.

She released his mind gently and Knives sank physically to the corrugated walkway, still able to touch the bulb, as close to comfort as he could willingly reach for from anyone. And, of course, inevitably, the thought that he no longer deserved such comfort. Not when he thought there was no going back from who he was meant to be.

#Knife's Aftermath #The King of Loneliness ? #broken!knife #his mind is a complicated mess

[lukatheselkie]

I’m still catching up, but here’s June 15: Thunderstorm

    “Where is my brother, potato bastard?” The man shoves his way through the door, and immediately starts searching around the house. Ludwig blinks a few times, surprised at the boldness. He should have expected it the moment he saw Lovino outside his door, but he never would have imagined he could be that brazen. Walking into his house, uninvited? He closes the door quietly, and turns to face the Italian.

    “He’s not here.”

    “Liar!” He gets an accusing finger pointed at him. “He told me he was coming here!” He steps closer, practically snarling. “Tell me where he is right now!” Ludwig sighs heavily. Of course Feliciano would tell him where he was going. Gilbert can be a bit… unreliable.

    “Mein bruder asked him out on a date. I have nein idea vhere he ist past zat.” Lovino glares daggers into him. “Vhat? I told jou vhat I know!”

    “Your brother can’t keep his mouth shut when he’s excited. I know you know at least his plans. Maybe not the order, but you know where he’s taking my brother.” Scheiße. He’s smart.

    “Fine. He vants to take him for a movie und a meal. Knowing mein bruder, he took him to ze movie first. He vill eat as much as he can zere, so he doesn’t embarrass himself in front of Feli vhile zey are having a romantic meal togezer.”

    “Then I need to follow after them!” He tugs his jacket closed around himself, and yanks the door open. His enthusiasm all but disappears when a heavy sheet of rain appears out of nowhere. His entire body droops in sorrow. Ludwig grabs his wrist gently and pulls him inside, closing the door.

    “Jou can’t leave now. It’s raining too hard out zere. Jou could vash avay.” He’s already wet as is.

    “Let go of me!” He yanks his hand away from him. “Don’t you dare ever touch me ag-” The sky outside lights up, and thunder is soon to follow. He practically flings himself into the German’s arms, burying his face in his chest. His grip is tight, and Ludwig tries his hardest not to move. He’s never been this close to him so willingly before. It’s sort of nice. Lovino smells like chocolate and pine, something he wasn’t expecting. There’s another strike of lightning, and more thunder. This time it rumbles longer, and he feels the smaller man squeeze him tighter. “Not a single word about this to anyone, dammit!”

    “Of course not.” Ludwig brings his hands up slowly, cautiously wrapping his arms around him. He melts into him, letting out a quiet sigh of… content? “Lovino?” He makes his voice as soft as he can, but the man still jumps. He peels himself away, and crosses his arms over his chest.

    “I was not clinging to you! That never happened!” Another rumble of thunder, and he’s back in the larger man’s arms. “This isn’t happening either!”

    “I zink ve should make our vay to ze couch. Jou can relax better zere.” He receives a soft nod in response and walks them over to the couch, being careful not to step on him. “Can jou sit? Let me take jour coat. It must be uncomfortable.”

    “No! D-don’t leave me.” He looks up at Ludwig, bottom lip trembling. He notices tears in his eyes, and brings his hand up to wipe them away. It’s an automatic response to seeing someone about to cry. Instead of cursing at him or shoving him away, Lovino lets him wipe away the tears, then nuzzles the palm of his hand. He decides not to ask why, least it upset him.

    “Alright. I von’t leave jou. I promise.” He lowers them down onto the couch.

    “You better not, you potato bastard!” He lightly thumps against his chest, huffing angrily. “If you do, I’ll-” lightning strikes again, and the power flickers off. He crawls into his lap with a whimper as the thunder rolls. He buries his head in the crook of his neck. His nose brushes against Ludwig’s throat, and his breath catches. Now is not the time to be having dirty thoughts! Especially about his best friend’s brother!

    “I need to find some candles to light. Jou can come vith me if jou vant, but I vill not force jou to.” Lovino clings tighter to him.

    “I will not be leaving you. You’re going to get scared, all alone.” Ludwig can’t help but smile.

    “Ah, jou are right. Vell, ve might as vell take jour coat to ze rack vhile ve’re up. Get on mein back, zat ist ze least avkvard place for jou to be, assuming jou still vant to cling to me? For mein protection, of course.” The shorter man huffs, but maneuvers himself around to where he’s clinging to his back instead. “Can jou get jour coat, or shall I?”

    “I got it, potato bastard. Just carry me to the coat rack.” He nods, and carefully carries the man to the door. He feels him move around a bit, then arms wrap around his neck. “Onward!” There’s another strike of lightning when he starts walking, and he hears a whimper nearly directly in his ear when the thunder happens. A shudder runs down his spine, but he steadfastly ignores it. “Faster, dammit! I don’t like the dark!” Just like his brother.

    “Here.” He grabs his keys, and turns on the little flashlight attached to them. “Zis should help keep jou calm until ze candles are lit.” He hands them up to Lovino, who immediately starts swinging the light beam every which way. Thankfully, he knows his way through his house well, and doesn't need the light to see where he’s going. “Duck,” he comments quietly as he walks through a door frame. He notices the flashlight stop on his bed, but ignores it in favor of finding his candles. He lights one, and sets it on his bedside table. “Vould jou vant to stay in here, or-” lightning strikes again, and he can feel the energy this time. Thunder almost started before the sky lit up, it was so close.

    “Ack!” The Italian grabs at his gelled hair, desperately searching for something steady to cling to. Ludwig stumbles in surprise, and they tople onto his bed, Lovino somehow landing on his torso. He presses his face into his chest, breathing erratically. He’s trembling like a leaf in the wind. He hugs the smaller man, and runs a hand through his hair. He feels him shudder, and he’s not sure if that means he’s still scared, or if he’s content now.

    “Shh. It’s just a storm. I von’t let it get jou.”

    “N-no.” No? What is he saying no to? “No!” He sits up quickly, startling Ludwig. “I’m not going to let you be nice to me! Even if you don’t like my brother in the way I thought you did, you still chose him over me!” He scrambles off the bed quickly.

    “Vait!” He grabs his hand, but gets shoved away. “Lovino!” He stands quickly, and takes hold of his shoulders, spinning him around so they’re facing each other. The Italian immediately bows his head. “Vhat do jou mean? Chose him over jou? I zought jou didn’t like me!”

    “It’s exactly the opposite,” he whispers out, barely audible. “Ti amo. Now please, let me go. I’ll brave the storm to go home.” Ludwig runs a hand through his hair in distress, messing with the gel even more.

    “I know vhat ‘ti amo’ means. Mein bruder learned it for Feliciano. I vill not be letting jou go home in zis mess. Especially vhen jou feel ze same vay about me zat I do jou.” Lovino finally looks at him, eyes wide.

    “You… have feelings for me too?” Hope blossoms in his expression.

    “I believe I do. I have tried suppressing zem because I zought jou hated me, but it ist always more painful to force meinself avay from jou zan to let meinself vatch jou be happy. Even if zat happiness vans’t vith me. Seeing jou smile makes mein stomach flip. I vill admit, I vas unaware it vas love until jou said jou love me. But it makes sense now. Love ist ze only explanation zat answers all ze confusion.” He slowly releases his shoulders. “Und I vant jou to know zat I vould never choose Feli over jou. Jou suggesting zat made me feel like mein soul had left me. Gilbert has been pining after him for centuries. I got lost in trying to help mein bruder by learning everyzing I could about him und relaying ze information, I forget to let meinself feel. But now zat I do, und jou return zose feelings, I never vant to repress zem again. Can jou ever forgive me for ignoring mein feelings for jou?”

    “Hmm,” he purses his lips slightly. “Well…” he smirks mischievously. “I suppose I can find it in myself to forgive you. Maybe. Under certain circumstances.” Thank goodness there’s hope!

    “Anyzing jou vant,” he says quickly.

    “You must truly love me!” He giggles. “Become my boyfriend. And! You have to hold me until the storm passes. On your bed. I’m not the most confident when it comes to thunder.” He looks away sheepishly.

    “Done.” He scoops him up, and lays them on his bed, wrapping an arm around him protectively. “Und I sort of noticed. But I didn’t say anyzing because I felt like ve vere getting closer. I didn’t vant to push jou avay by making jou angry.” Lovino hums softly, and kisses his nose.

    “You’re forgiven, cutie. As long as I get to call you Luddy.” That’s fair.

    “Of course, Lovi.”

    “Mm no. I didn’t give you permission to call me th-” Ludwig presses their lips together softly. When he pulls away, Lovino’s eyes shimmer with all the happiness in the world. “Fine. You can call me that, stupid potato bastard. Just as long as you kiss me like that every time you do.”

    “As you wish, Lovi.” He kisses him again, storm all but forgotten.

@aphrarepairweek2020

#aphrarepairweek2020 #aphetalia #GerMano #day 2

[drunkenlionwrites]

I want your take on uncanny vash with some relationship/affection headcanons too please!

Damn, that's a popular request! 💖

Okay, so I’m not on twitter, so I totally missed the beginning of this trend, but I’ve seen some snippets here on tumblr and I absolutely love this thing as a total monster lover at heart. Though interpretations vary from something more Lovecraftian to even something from 5 nights at Freddy’s or your standard local creepypasta. My take is more or less canon-compliant, cause Trimax already gave us soooo much food that we can explore deeper. What can be ever uncannier than a walking talking man-made creature, who’s also a sentient matter generator as well as extremely empathetic being with heightened senses who also possesses telepathic abilities to some degree.

There’s always been something slightly…off with Vash. Something you couldn’t pinpoint exactly. Something about his body proportions. His lanky limbs and his overly controlled movements. The way his body could go from rigid and collected when you’ve been in danger to mellow and seemingly boneless when he’s been partying with townsfolk.

The way his teeth have been slightly sharper than an average human being. The way his skin was seemingly poreless and smooth, always milky-white no matter how much time he’s spent under the scorching suns.

A few times you for sure saw his eyes glowing in the dark. You did, right? Just the way the cat’s eyes would look when reflecting light.

His eating habits, when you’ve noticed them, also left you dumbfounded. You could swear that he could go on days and days without eating a crumb, later defensively claiming he ate when you hadn’t seen or that you’ve just forgotten and anyway why is it such a big deal to you? When you hit the town, he immediately was lost in diners, or saloons, or cafes eating humongous portions of food that you were sure would make you puke all your guts out, but made Vash only smile at you contentedly.

The smell of him, that was always of hotel’s cheep soap, or dust and sand, gunpowder, and cold night breeze, but never of sweat or any kind of natural body odor you can imagine a man clad in leather clothes should smell after a few days of travel without bathing.

 The texture of his hair, coarse and springy and thick, and always so so clean, but smoother and silkier where his black strands began. ‘Good genetics’ he claimed.

You’ve also never expected him to have such deep and profound displays of emotions: rage, grief, hurt. They always felt so raw and palpable in the air. It seemed like it was too hard and thick to breathe, making you unable to move and think clearly. When you carefully asked Wolfwood about it later he claimed he felt the same as you.

His pained screams were nothing but animalistic, otherworldly too…you couldn’t forget the sound even if you could. It was something between a malfunctioning screeching machine or the wail of a distressed animal.

When you gained the knowledge about him being an independent plant, receiving awkward profound apologies from Vash for lying to you and dismissing your concerns to him, it all made so much more sense and made you feel strangely more at ease with all his oddities, your brain still unconsciously catching things that were off with Vash.

Nothing you’ve seen before could compare to the moment you saw him communicating with his sisters, all kinds of feathers growing out of his body, while he’s been leaning his forehead to the glass.

The way some otherworldly flesh parts have been manifesting out of him at times have been chillingly terrifying and incomprehensible for you. Seeing the way he demolished the moon with his power didn’t register with you for some time until Wolfwood repeated it enough times for you to make sense of it.

Relationship/affection uncanny valley stuff:

It has been pretty normal with the perfectly sweet and affectionate Vash, except the slight buzzing sound that reminded you of the sound of refrigerator emitting from him during sleep or when he’s been completely relaxed. You’ve been surprised once again but decided to not bring it up to Vash to not make him feel self-conscious and uneasy again.

Once after an especially stressful day you’ve awakened being encaged in some sort of a cage surrounding you and connecting back to Vash, fleshy, soft to the touch but weirdly sturdy, covered in all sorts of feathers and small wings and weird small body parts, resembling humans. You almost screamed, but Vash woke up first from your rustling the sheets and moving next to him. With a surprised yelp from him, the fleshy structure started quickly decomposing and falling off you, disintegrating before hitting the bed. Well, that’s some protective plant boyfriend for you.

#vash x reader #trigun x reader #vash x you #trigun x you #vash headcanons #trigun headcanons #uncanny vash #trimax vash

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

Birthday prompt #8

(I have been posting these for so long now :’) my fingers and my brain are no longer connected. I need to sleep xD)

Read on Ao3 Birthday prompts masterlist

@xandiland

[Now that they’ve reunited with Elnor, who’s missed many of the events of the past few episodes, I’d like to see Elnor’s perspective on how the others approach Rios. Would he be disappointed in Picard for his brusqueness? Concerned that nobody else seems to see the pain he’s seeing? Who knows? But I think hyper-honest Elnor wouldn’t hold back in his assessment of the others’ failures and might finally get our boy Rios the caring and respect he so deserves.]

Elnor is overjoyed that Picard is no longer dead.

He would hold him and never let go if he could, but Picard isn’t very fond of hugs – a great pity – and Elnor himself is not entirely comfortable around him yet, and Picard is uncomfortable too since Elnor has told him that. Raffi and Soji and Doctor Jurati take all of Picard’s time anyway, so Elnor slips away one morning and goes to where la Sirena should be.

He thinks Seven might be there, and he hasn’t seen Captain Rios in a while now, and he misses both of them.

When he arrives at the charred spot where the ship initially crash-landed, he is surprised to see that there is nothing there. Why? Elnor wonders, anxiety coalescing in his chest into a mean jadashha that snaps and bite at his innards. Surely Captain Rios wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye? He wouldn’t leave Raffi, that is unthinkable.

But then Elnor remembers than Picard and Doctor Jurati used the ship to stop the Zhat Vash, and that they beamed down and left it up there. Nobody must have brought it back to the surface. Elnor goes back to the city and looks for Raffi, because she should know where Rios is.

He doesn’t find Raffi, but he finds Soji in a courtyard, angrily staring at her communicator. He doesn’t know Soji well, but he knows that Picard cares about her – that he died for her, which makes Elnor feel all kinds of sad and funny when he thinks about it – so she must be alright. She is Data’s daughter, and Elnor loved the stories about Data when he was a child.

“Soji,” he greets. He notices the pile of communicators next to her and the neural-enhanced portable replicator she is holding, and he frowns. “Do you have a problem with your communicator?”

“Yes,” she snaps, “how did you guess?”

Elnor is a bit taken aback, but he quickly understands the problem.

“You are frustrated, and you are not yet accustomed to the way of Absolute Candor, adding to your irritation. If you wish me to leave, I will go.”

Soji holds up a hand and beckons him closer, the “hold on” implied by her gestures. He approaches and studies the communicator she is holding. It does not appear broken, and the others don’t either. Elnor is puzzled.

“I do not understand, they appear to be functioning.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Soji sighs. She holds up the device for him to see. “It works well for on-planet communication, but I can’t seem to get a hold of Rios.”

Elnor perks up.

“You wish to speak to Captain Rios? I was looking for him, I haven’t seen him in several days. Or Seven.”

Soji hands him the comm badge and starts fiddling with another one.

“You are growing increasingly agitated,” Elnor notices. Out of curiosity, he taps on the badge himself and raises it to his mouth. “Hello, Captain Rios, this is Elnor. Can you hear me?”

Silence answers him, and Soji gives him a strange look. It might have been meant to convey “told you so,” but Elnor is not yet entirely familiar with Human facial expressions. They can slightly differ from Romulan ones, and there was no need for face reading among the Qowat Milat. He tilts his head and waits for her to stop trying to get the other badge to work, studying her in the meantime.

“Rios, come in,” she says curtly in the device. “I need to beam up.”

“You do not appear to be eager to speak to Captain Rios,” Elnor points out, confused. “You are angry and short-tempered, when there is no actual reason for you to be. What is the real cause of your frustration?”

Soji huffs and crosses her arms, and looks heavenwards.

“Nothing too important. I’m just… I just thought I would get away from the city a little bit, now that things are settling. I just want to spend a day and a night up there and come back.”

Elnor nods in understanding. He looks at the communicator again, just as Doctor Soong strides into view. Elnor doesn’t like Doctor Soong. He has already told him once and been informed by Picard and Raffi that it was not an appropriate thing to say, but now Doctor Soong knows and the dislike is mutual. The time for hostilities is past, though, so Elnor nods politely when the man walks to them.

“Soji, Elnor,” Doctor Soong greets, studying the communicator pile with the same interest as Elnor has previously displayed. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to call Captain Rios,” Soji explains, tossing one of the badges at Doctor Soong. “Is there a disruption in the planetary tachyon field? None of these seem to work.”

Doctor Soong frowns and checks something on a very small portable holo-transmitter he had in his pocket, frowning at the green floating screen. Elnor doesn’t know what the readings mean, so he waits.

“Well,” Doctor Soong says after a minute, “there is no disruption at all, and your badges are working just fine. Either the ship is experiencing a malfunction, or Captain Rios is ignoring you.”

The jadashha is back, gnawing at Elnor’s stomach. Captain Rios doesn’t ignore people. He listens, even if you are a despicable Zhat Vash assassin, and he talks, even if you are a very angry xB about to murder an old acquaintance.

“That would not be like him,” Elnor protests.

Soji makes a face.

“He hid in his quarters for a while when I got aboard la Sirena. Maybe he just wants some peace and quiet.”

“I do not believe that,” Elnor protests. And because he is now worried about Captain Rios and Seven of Nine, who is probably up there with him, he picks up one of the badges again and tries one more time. “Captain Rios? This is Elnor. I feel anxious because you do not answer our messages, and I would like to see you and Seven, to alleviate my worry. May I come aboard?”

Elnor dissolves away before Soji and Soong have had any time to call his endeavor pointless. He materializes on la Sirena’s transporter pad, of course, and Captain Rios gives him a two-fingered salute. Elnor copies it, and moves to hug him.

“It fills my heart with joy to see that you are alright,” he says as he folds the Captain into an embrace.

Rios laughs – it makes his chest rumble, and it’s a very peculiar feeling that Elnor likes – and he hugs Elnor back before gently pushing him away.

“Hey there, hermanito,” Rios grins. “Seven’s fine too, before you ask. I think she’s in the sonic. Or on the holodeck, I don’t know.”

Elnor nods and studies Rios, and he is disheartened by what he sees. The Captain looks tired and he has red eyes, like Humans get when they have not slept enough. He thinks it might be to make themselves more intimidating to compensate for their temporary weakness. Romulans do not get green eyes, so he cannot be sure. Elnor has seen the red eyes on Raffi, on Agnes, on Seven too, and even on Picard, but Captain Rios’ red eyes are worse. He must be feeling very weak.

“You are exhausted,” Elnor says. “I do not understand. We have won. Picard is alive. Are you not happy? Why are you neglecting to rest?”

Captain Rios stiffens like Elnor has just hit him. They stare into each other’s eyes for a long while, Elnor unblinking returning Rios’ scrutinizing gaze, and then Captain Rios sighs tiredly and motions Elnor to follow. They go to the bridge, and Captain Rios sits in his chair, leaning heavily against the back.

“It’s not that I don’t want to, kid,” Rios mutters, rubbing at his face. “I just… I just can’t right now. I don’t see pretty pictures when I close my eyes.”

“Is that why you were ignoring Soji’s calls? Because you did not wish for anyone to see that you are tired?” Elnor inquires. But wait, it does not make sense. “But Seven is there.”

Rios huffs.

“It’s not like that. I just don’t want to see people right now, especially not Picard or Soji.”

That confuses Elnor, but he decides to go back to that in a minute, once he has dealt with another puzzling aspect of Rios’ explanation.

“You are seeing me,” he says, sitting on the console so he can face Rios. “I am not people?”

Rios snorts.

“You asked, kid. And you were worried about Seven and me. I’m just not too keen on letting them touch my stuff right now.”

Elnor carefully reviews what he has gathered of Rios’ relationship with Picard and Soji. He remembers that Rios was crying too when Picard died, and that he came to find him and Raffi when they were both sobbing, alone. Elnor remembers what Raffi told him later, that Rios’ Captain died and that it involved Jana, a girl that looked just like Soji and Sutra. He remembers that Soji had only good things to say about Captain Rios, and that he’d accepted to let his ship go through a Borg conduit to reach Coppelius faster despite the damage it could cause to his home.

Elnor tries, and tries, and tries, but he doesn’t understand why Rios would not wish to see Soji. Picard, Elnor can understand, because things are confusing and awkward and even he cannot seem to know how to act when he usually never bothers thinking about it. But Soji?

“I do not understand,” Elnor states.

Rios huffs and tilts his head back.

“I just want to be alone, Elnor,” he says.

“That is a half-truth.”

“Mierda, you’re annoying,” Rios smiles. It’s a small smile and it’s tired, but it counts. “Okay, here’s the thing. I wouldn’t mind letting them come aboard if they asked, like you did. Soji hasn’t so far. She’s just told me she needed to be beamed up.” He takes in a deep breath. “La Sirena is my ship, kid. My home.”

“This is distressing to hear,” Elnor says sadly, mouth twisting into a little pout. “But if you told everyone how you feel, then they would ask.”

Rios frowns.

“Maybe I don’t do that because I’d like them to figure it out by themselves. I want them to get it.”

Elnor nods and got up. Captain Rios looks surprised to see him go, but Elnor has things to attend to.

“I will be back shortly,” he assures him, striding to the transporter buffet. “Please tell Seven I came by.”

“Sure thing, hermano,” Captain Rios says back.

Elnor teleports to the surface before any questions can be asked.

“Elnor!” Soji exclaims as she watched him reappear. “Are they alright? Why did he beam you up?”

“Because I asked,” Elnor answered curtly, brushing past her.

He needs to find Raffi.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I believe that your behavior has been unsatisfactory,” Elnor tells Picard in lieu of a greeting, earning himself a confused look and a raised eyebrow.

Picard does not believe he will ever get used to the way of Absolute Candor. But blunt as it always is, he has rarely heard Elnor speaks to him so harshly. It reminds him of Vashti, when fourteen years of pent-up feelings of rejection and bitterness were suddenly free to overflow, and Picard does not like it in the slightest.

“What are you talking about, Elnor?”

“I am talking about you and, and Soji. Raffi has told me much of what happened on the ship during my absence. It has made me very upset, and I am angered as well.”

Picard sits back in his seat and frowned, waiting for Elnor to elaborate. It might all just be a misunderstanding, or so he hopes. After the resolution of the threat to both the galaxy and the synthetics, and his own death and resurrection, Picard is far too tired to engage in more conflict.

“Explain to me what this is about before this conversation goes any further,” Picard requests.

“Captain Rios was very hurt by your words and actions when you and Soji came back from Nepenthe, and I do not believe you ever apologized.”

That’s unexpected. Picard frowns, trying to recall what he could have done to deserve the scathing rebuke.

“You yelled at him,” Elnor informs him before before he can wrestle with his memory any further. “Soji hacked his ship and tried to steal it. You mutinied. Those were not honorable actions.”

Ah. Picard can understand why Elnor would see it that way. It’s a good thing Rios doesn’t. Clearly, this is a case of miscommunication, like he hoped.

“Elnor, Rios agreed to bring us to Coppelius. There was no ‘mutiny’ and no hijacking.”

Elnor stares at him intently, and then shakes his head. Picard sees his eyes narrow. He doesn’t understand why right away, but he has the feeling that Elnor is somehow terribly disappointed.

“You sat in his chair,” Elnor counters. “You tried taking control of his ship. Soji used the name of a dead person from his past to get him to say yes. I fail to see how you do not grasp the extent of your disregard for Captain Rios’ feelings.”

Picard would like to argue, say that Rios really didn’t mind, but the truth is that he can’t be sure. They were all under severe amounts of stress after the Cube and Nepenthe. It is possible that in his own eagerness to help Soji, he failed to see Rios’ own struggles with the situation. It would certainly be in character for him, at any rate.

“Captain Rios agreed to take you to Coppelius because he is nice,” Elnor deems important to add. “You needed help and he could give it. That’s not a reason not to ask.”

Elnor is gone before Picard can think of an answer. He sighs.

“Soji,” he calls into his communicator, “could I see you for a moment? I think we need to give Rios a call.”

#my writing #birthday prompts #save tag #star trek picard #star trek: picard #i will probably continue this one #elnor #cris rios #cristobal rios #jean-luc picard #soji asha