#it looked like someone had stabbed me

[shesahershey]

Accidentally drained my friend's car battery and I started to freak out so badly that I gave myself a nosebleed that didn't stop until an hour later

And I didn't have any tissues so I had to use my sports bra until my friend got off of work

#hersh talks #so many blood clots #it looked like someone had stabbed me #i hate being sick

[zishuge]

The Spirealm 致命游戏 (2024) | Ep. 37

#the spirealm #致命游戏 #kaleidoscope of death #ruan nanzhu #lin qiushi #huang junjie #xia zhiguang #cdrama #cdramasource #kodedit #userhanyi #*gifs:mine #because this fight scene and the music that went with it had no business going as hard as it did #he moves so fluidly godddd they both do it's mesmerizing #and also because i’m absolutely in love with this door god like seriously LOOK AT HER #also someone please stab me the next time i want to gif an action scene #“what he lost was someone who loved him... what you lost was someone who didn't love you. for you... this is a good thing!" ZAOZAO VIP

[screwpinecaprice]

I know it’s not a question but i can’t help but appreciate the fact that you draw adult Steven as a chubby guy! We big boys need some positive representation in here. Also, i’ve been following you for almost a year now!

Btw sorry for my English lol.

Hi! It's very pleasing to know you've been around for as long! 😁😁😁 I absolutely appreciate the appreciation! And no worries, your English is super fine! 😁 (Relatable actually. I am also apologizing in advance if I can't exactly have my point clearly across because I'm not well at English myself! lmao)

It took me quite some time to learn how to draw chubby characters but it's so satisfying to have eventually. ( *`u*) (I mean, there's still so much to learn, but still.)

Having a chubby main protagonist is so wonderful to have. And a good kid at that. (Ngl I'm attracted to kindness. haha So of course it's very important to me that he's fat AND kind.)

Also design-wise, I personally think it fits his character so well. Soft and huggable, shaped like a friend. Thick arms to hug people with snuggly. Body wide like a shield. etc. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And I just really like to capture these elements when I draw him as an adult. Also that it's just fun to draw.

Simply personal thoughts about it, nothing against any other ways he's being portrayed by others of course.

#And it's not even because English isn't my first language. Just generally bad at language. RIP #I had this conversation with someone once where they headcanon he'd get lower back pains if he slim down because of how his gem will #poke or stab his spine #I really like that he's chubby/fat just because. and that he's happy and confident about it #but him being fat not entire by choice is an interesting angle to look at. #I mean obviously he's naturally chubby because of DNA too but you get when I mean. or I hope you do. ;u; #Yo I had a theory.... or at least a headcanon about how his gem is arranged inside his body and how it's practically designed so it can be #passed down eventually without killing him. But I never get to a cohesive written explanation about it so I kept procrastinating. #I like to think the Pink Diamond gem will become like an heirloom. But I digress. #Steven Quartz Universe #Connie Maheswaran #I guess implied connverse #connverse #TFW growing up in media where 'look at us we're different but we are all friends!' And the differences were just personalities and status i #society but the body shapes are practically the same. 😆 #They were the same shape because the merch used the same mold. ^^; But I think that contributed to messing up my perception. #Like. The level of unawareness I had in drawing fat characters is crazy back then. #when I thought I drew a chubby character but the reality was that she was still slim! I still have her saved in my Deviant Art account #Nobody would've known because she's my OC. #If I were to argue with that past me that she's not chubby. Past me would be extremely confused because she is totally convinced that she #drew a chubby character. Mind you I was above 18 then too. #I had another OC I wanted to be really chunky but I was so bad at it that I found an excuse why she's so slim so I can avoid drawing chunky #I did eventually made her chunky but I almost never posted any of my OCs lol. She also have a black and pink theme. 🤔 #Same with skin color but it happened in my own Sona. I have a tan skin tone and I thought I gave my Sona the same skin...but like... Bruh. #I'm even looking at it now. That is kinda pale. RIP #It still baffles me how different I've been seeing thing in the past. Eugh I'm digressing again. :/ #sc answers #ask #luisnavarro04 #meme

[argonapricot]

very funny things to say

#sabine did not go to the ICU or the ER she got magic space healthcare in her sleep #also. shin could have very easily fatally stabbed sabine and did not #keep in mind that sabine was the one who attacked shin after shin took the map #once ahsoka arrived on the scene shin actually had to incapacitate sabine somehow to make an escape #pls also keep in mind that shin looked very turned on during the entire fight and it WAS homoerotic actually #i guess some people out here are just straight and/or vanilla and/or virgins #im sorry but if a girl gazed into my eyes while bearing down on my body with her body like that. and then stabbed me. i WOULD appreciate it #especially if i could then proceed to get magic space healthcare in space like sabine did #the ER does indeed suck a lot IRL but that is so... completely irrelevant... #“it's not thrilling or cool to chase someone in a spaceship in star wars bc car crashes r actually rly traumatic” that's the argument here #wolfren #shinbine #shin hati

[xysidhe]

Best character choice I've ever made is deciding to give Regulus a knife. Cause he went from genius bookworm to evil genius yandere real quick.

Regulus: You live another day, Potter, only because my brother would be saddened if you died.

Regulus: But if you hurt him even once I will not hesitate to gut you like a fish

James, utterly unaware he now has an 11 year old Nemesis who isn't even in Hogwarts yet: Why do I hear boss music?

#yall dont understand this chaos gremlin is running rampant in my head #like its constantly Reggie: Can I stab someone? how about now? now? i stab now? #and im just like no #you cant stab people regulus #not yet anyways #also he immediately started planning to get James a gift RIGHT AFTER WONDERING IF HE COULD STAB HIM because James makes Sirius happy #regulus got way more of the Blacl Madness than i had initially planned for #and he refuses to let me take any of it away #hes hoarding the madness at this point and im really just here for the ride #im not a writer i just word vomit what the characters to at this point #seriously the switch from 'I want to stab james' to 'if anyone even looks at james ill carve out their eyes' is fast and HILARIOUS #dead gay wizards #regulus arcturus black #hp marauders #regulus deserved better #jegulus #starchaser #james deserved better #james x regulus #regulus x james #harry potter marauders

[orcelito]

ok SO i went and got out Most of my knives (i remembered I have a nonbinary knife only after i took the photos & also idk where it is currently. just imagine all these plus a nonbinary flag knife ok? ok)

HERE ^ is the most of them, minus that nonbinary knife. look at that fuckin mess. 32 shown here (i think) plus my nonbinary knife makes 33 blades (minus cooking knives, i dont count those for these purposes)(also counting the swiss army knife as only 1 bc lol)

& some explanations for them! gonna put these under a readmore bc it got Kinda long on accident whoops. Read Ahead if u wanna see me nerd out about my knife collection.

STARTING WITH my big ones.

my spear (gifted to me), my cane sword (from anime convention), my shitty $20 sword (also from anime convention. low quality but cool as hell), my teal mini sword + matching throwing knives (from online), my decorative axe (from a local store), my twin blades (my sharpest blades, theyre actually kinda scary how sharp they are, but i love them bc of it. from online), red saber (from online),

ANDDDDDDDDDDDD my favorite hefty bitch of a machete that i sleep with in my bed frame on the very right (inherited from my grandpa bc i was the first one who spotted it at Family Claiming Day)(this thing really is as long as my leg & much heavier than Any of the rest of the blades pictured here. i love it)

another view of the blades so u can better see how long they are. the big boys. they're lovely. 2nd heaviest blade is the cane sword when it's in its cane, mostly bc that handle has some Heft. tbh id feel safer using it as a bludgeoning weapon than a stabbing weapon, but having a cane sword is just plain cool

AND my smaller blades!

i have a lot of pocket knives. starting from the top left: golden pocket knife (from online), rainbow dragon (from online), rainbow HEFTY boy (heaviest pocket knife, from online), spider knife (from online), stiletto jade (from online), pathetic army boy (from local store, this knife has NO redeeming qualities, but it's mine <3), black stiletto (from local store), plain dagger man (from online), my damascus steel knife (was a gift, probably my singular most expensive knife. fancy boy), Dull Dagger Man (first blade i ever bought, from anime convention)

& for bottom row: teeny black knife (first pocket knife i owned, gift from my dad), lil rainbow knife (from local store), plain steel knife (from sketchy shop in gatlinburg + one of my Favorite knives), green dragon knife (from online, a real beaut), triple throwing knives (also from same sketchy shop in gatlinburg), the baby throwing knives again from the Big Boys pic but i included them again bc they r so teeny tiny, my keychain key blade (from online), swiss army knife (from online), & the pair of claw keychain baldes (from online)

many blades, many stories, so little time. theyre great tho.

SOME FOCUSES:

^ these are all my spring-assisted knives, sorted from worst feel to best feel to open. based on quickness, ease, & general satisfaction. leftmost is leftmost bc i didnt even Know it was spring assisted, bc it doesnt have a nice lil tab on the back to press. no u gotta press on one of the rungs. but once u do it Does spring open, so i included it. next 3 are just Average in feel (these 3 are sibling blades anyways, nice of them to be together). jade stiletto is smooth and quick, nice to open. Hefty Boy rainbow has some THUNK to it when i open it. like that babey's got PURPOSE to it. added to the general size of it & it's just pretty great. AND THEN MY TWO FAVS, green dragon is a perfect beautiful knife & feels very great to open. and then Steel Sketchy Knife aka my 2nd pocket knife & first i bought for myself. it looks plain in comparison to the others, but she's anything But. quick, light, Sharp. it has the Best feel to open, bc it's just a fast SHHK. probably my knife that's seen the most use (aside from my small black knife) just bc of how great it feels to open. i love that knife so much for Real.

& the final highlight, somewhat related, are the knives I actually use the most in my daily life!

on the left are the knives I keep in my bag by default, & thus the ones I carry with me Everywhere i go. small black pocket knife bc she's Ol' Faithful, & a pretty lowkey knife for basic tasks when I dont wanna raise any eyebrows lol. silver knife bc as previously stated i Love using it so much. i take it out when i gotta breakdown a lot of boxes at work, & it Never disappoints. small rainbow keychain key knife bc it's cute & i like to keep it on my keychain. & swiss army knife bc Obviously im gonna keep the swiss army knife in my bag for if i need an emergency tool.

on the right are the three knives I keep out in my apartment. black stiletto lives on my bathroom counter, for bathroom knife needs. green stiletto i keep on my table next to where I hang out in my bedroom, for any couch time needs. & then green dragon beaut camps out on top of some shelves by my front door bc it's Great for opening boxes, aka something I will do for packages I receive after pulling them in the front door. it works for me.

all the rest of my knives live either in a box (for small ones) or my closet (for big ones). i may have a lot of knives, but somehow I never feel like i have enough. i just love collecting them so much <3

#speculation nation #knives #what this boils down to are. my favorites are: Big Hefty Machete that i managed to stab myself with on accident #by dropping it point-first on my finger (whoops) #a plain silver knife i got from a sketchy shop in gatlinburg (there really are so many there) that just feels SO good to use #a beautiful green dragon knife bc it's well balanced & feels great to open. also pretty. #black stiletto knife just bc i love how it feels in my hand. it's also very pointy #& small black knife bc she's ol' faithful. & great for using for average shit to not freak people out #(imagine if i brought ol' Hefty Rainbow out w/ its glass breaking base & wonderful hooked blade. ppl would give me Looks for sure) #i love many other knives but those r my favs #if i had to pick an ABSOLUTE fav it'd have to be my machete. it having drawn my blood did Not discourage me from loving it #it feels very uhh. idk it makes me feel secure having it nearby #if for nothing else than someone seeing me wield that & being like 'what the FUCK' bc it's kinda pretty intimidating lol. #long and heavy. wouldnt actually be great for combat bc that thin part between the blade & the hilt could snap the moment you hit bone #but good for me i never intend to use my blades for that! it feels comforting mostly as an intimidation factor. #the comfort being like. if someone broke in lol. that's why i sleep with it in my bed frame. so i can have it onhand Just In Case #aka it's like sleeping with a gun under my pillow except i just keep a massive fucking knife next to me instead. works for me #not the longest of my blades but it's the heaviest of my blades by far. i feel very lucky to own it. #anyways this has been the Knife Ramble by yours truly. this took me like 2 hours to gather & take pictures of & write this summary #APPRECIATE MY WORK at documenting my collection. this is the first time ive done this in several years. #wish i'd found that nonbinary knife first... oh well...

[joyridingmp3]

so apparently the thing they don't tell you about pills is that you may decide to take a bunch of opioids and listen to pink floyd and chill out in your room one night and this may result in you accidentally falling asleep. however this may then lead to you having a really intense scary nightmare (because you have ptsd) and so you have sleep paralysis while you're waking up and can't move while the outro to pink floyds absolutely curtains is playing and you will be experience a fear like no other

#i was like oh my god i have died these are my final moments #i dreamt that i was being chased by a serial killer who was trying to stab me #and was trying to convince the other person in the house that I was actually the killer trying to stab them #and then i couldn't move and I heard my upstairs neighbours moving #and then bc of my ptsd I was like fully in ptsd and back to the traumatic situations #and so I thought someone had broken in #omg. the relief when I turned on the lights in my house and saw I was safe though. #anyway. we don't need to unpack that nightmare. my childhood was fine. #mine #drug mention #btw if you haven't listened to that song go look it up and you'll understand why I was so fucking terrified for a sec there

[captaincolorblob]

Listen s5 is a blast to watch in general but I think the Halloween arc has gotta be hands down the most fun. Like Mikey throws a silver coin down a guy’s throat, if that isnt amazing entertainment i dont know what is

#tmnt 2012 #so many good mikey moments #also their fits are amazing idc what anyone says #also way funnier then it has to be #like leo's delivery when he says ''I feel like Van Helsing! But way cooler then him actually way cooler then Van Helsing'' had me ROLLING #sadly not much april or casey content but at least i got some capriltello crumps so you win some you lose some #also renet is just<33333 i love her sm #also the way mikey is just fucking SWOONING over her half the time is so adorable #like in the monsters among us scene after they finally reach the sewers after mikey shot a werewolf in the nose #you can just see him look at her and smile so geniunely while the others are talking and you just know his ass is not listening to a single #word #i LEGITIMATELY accidently said OUT LOUD ''i wish someone would look at me the way mikey looks at renet'' #dracula and savanti also have some amazing moments #like when dracula wants to take the time cepter for himself then realizes it doesnt work savantie sending the pharaoh to kill dracula but #dracula just fucking EVISIRATES the guy #or when after dracula got stabbed by mikey how savanti just steps on the guys bones and says ''well he was a jerk anyway'' with such a funny #expression #the different vampire transformations were also so fun #and who could forget the line ''smoooooth donatelloo'' fucking ICONIC #dia rambles

[eff-plays]

I just started Act 3 and got Astarion's first dialogue for it. It was quite painful to hear, esp when I think abt how Hira might respond and react to it all. Sad Hiraeth hours again.

#this is like repeating all the shit i had in their backstory #ouchies i'm sowwy sweetie #bg3 #oc: hiraeth #they're like 'uh oh. might have to kill another elf that i fell in love with when he turns on me' #'looks like loving someone didn't ensure they loved me ... again' #'dang ... yet another elf man about to throw me in the trash in pursuit of power. might have to do another stab in the chest'

[titan-god-helios]

oh no oh fuck what happened to tumblr is my computer just fucking up or did the site actually change pleasetellmemycomputerfuckedupi'msostressedrightnowihatethis

#now there have been two (2) minor to others but major to my autistic ass changes today #one is that genshin impact fucking changed their party setup layout and i very much despise the new one i loved the old one it was perfect #and so neat and had everything you needed and then they CHANGED IT and i feel like crying everytime im reminded #because that fucking shit is my comfort game i love it so much and then they had to go and make it changed and new and uncertain #the autism goblin freaked out so hard earlier but fontaine soothed it a little because yay !! new place to explore !! i love exploring !! #key word: a little #AND NOW THIS SHIT WITH THE HELLSITE AGAIN #ADMINS #PLEASE #STOP CHANGING SHIT #YOU'RE STRESSING THE FUCK OUT OF THE AUTISM GOBLINS #i look at the layout and i just feel like crying and rocking back and forth so hard ohmygod its actual real pain im not even exaggerating #its like someone's showing me a recording of something so viscerally wrong in every conceivable way that my eyes feel as if they're being #stabbed and i break out into a cold sweat and i'm in actual fucking pain right now why is being autistic so fucking PAINFUL always #give it a week of slowly introducing it to my brain like how you introduce a new cat to your other cats and i'll get used to it #but that doesn't matter right now i would rather step on legos for a minute straight i hate it so much i am in so much fucking mental pain #hjgshgdsuygdsyudghjdgsjdfgdsgdjdf #autism #neurodivergent #actually autistic #asd #its the neurodivergency #actuallyautistic #neurodivergencies #actually adhd #being autistic #adhd #genshin impact #tumblr staff #bad staffelstein

[the-acid-pear]

Killing my dad with a rock arc

#luly talks #you ever see a man who doesn't understand anything at all #ohh bc my bringing up was bad SO WAS MINE #I'M A SELF MADE PERSON MY MOTHER DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME MY FATHER WASNT PRESENT BUT FOR 2 DAYS A WEEK #my head hurts so bad #everything is about him he thinks thinking about a person is all there is to caring about someone #hmhmmh mh can't even cry anymore #he had the audacity to bring up me dropping out and then made it about HIM about how HE was involved and how HE had hope and about how HE #HE HE HE THAT'S ALL THERE IS #NEVER IN A MOMENT HE THOUGHT ABOUT HOW *I* FELT THEN TELLS ME TO MY FACE I DROPPED TO PLAY MY VIDEOGAME #AND I KNOW HE SAID THAT BC HE WAS ANGRY BUT WHEN HE WAS INTO A GAME AND PLAYED ALL DAY AND WANTED TO BECOME PROFESSIONAL DID I EVER SAY #SOMETHING NEGATIVE??? NO I FUCKING DIDNT #THIS ISN'T ABOUT HOW ONE WAS RAISED BECAUSE ONE IS AN ADULT WHO'S BEING TOLD WHAT HE'S DOING WRONG AND YET AND YET !!!! #anyway i went for a walk outside and it was sickening the sounds of my shoes on the floor were so high abd loud... #i wanted to walk shoeless but i thought that was a bit too far i already was chewing something with my hand close to my mouth #head low eyes fixated on a singular point #i looked very not normal is what im saying i looked stereotypically not normak #which is good for if anyone wanted to steal from me i look like the kind who would stab you on the throat w a pen #i also wasn't walking i was waddling #bc the aforementioned shoe issye #yeah we are having a day today folks

[littlegoldfinchh]

Jjst had the longest nightmare ever:')

#it genuinely felt like a horror movie because it had a start nd a whole story and an ending as well #guess it was a happy ending but god it was scary #basically a bunch of people got kidnapped to this house and the house slowly poisoned everyone's mind bc it was cursed #and idk if i was. me or just a guy? maybe i was both it was kinda weird #so everyone wanted to kill me since i still had my sanity and i somehow escaped but it involved like #me stabbing my.way through these people. like i stabbed someone in the eye with a pencil???? i think #and then i jumped out of the window and turns out that we were in a forest #and i started running and one of the insane people turned into this. demon thingy #it looked like a rotten corpse and it was chasing me through the forest #and while i was running i saw this big old rotten tree that had a corpse kinda infused with the tree's body. bht the corpse was alive #so i ended up burning the tree because that corpse was a witch?? and she was the source of the curse #and after that i think everyone got instantly better #lile this might not sound as scar #scary #but it was really scary i promise #rambling #not gonna read it back sorry for the typos

[ordinarytalk]

The plan is to stay in this hell job until I get public service loan forgiveness but damn if I'm not having a month that's making me consider just quitting right now and having all $50,000 of that debt fall right on my head just so I don't have to be here one single solitary second longer

#this job has made me the villain to hundreds people's stories and the worst version of myself #and I am still very very very bad at it #I've crushed so many people's dreams and at least once a week someone tells me I'm destroying the only way someone can feed their families #I'm ashamed to tell my parents what I do for a living. I'm ashamed to tell anyone what I do for a living. I'm ashamed to be alive. #I'm not helping anyone and all I'm doing is hurting people. I feel like I've been hired by hell to stab the damned. #I don't want to be here. I don't want to do this. I've been crying every day. #And they just put the pitchfork back in my hand and tell me I'm not stabbing hard enough. I'm a bad person and I'm bad at my job. #personal stuff #local beloved holiday festival might shut down because of me. They didn't realize their licenses weren't good here. #Maybe it's not all my fault but I'm the one they're going to pin it on. I can't even go places to eat anymore. People recognize my face. #Had a lady greet me with “Oh‚ look who's here! Great to see you! BYE! ...ha ha. I'm kidding. Obviously. Come in.” #It's like...even when I quit‚ can I still live here? Everyone recognizes me‚ and they hate me. I don't know if this can still be my home.

[boyobjectifier]

any cis male subs who follow me rn should feel super fucking privileged

i’m on professional hiatus right now, and even during Domme Work Time i don’t let boys in on what goes on in my brain like this very often. only my faves.

don’t take it for granted and don’t overstep. smooches 💓

#i truly don’t mind and i love that y’all are following me on here #and i absolutely don’t mind spam liking + reblogging at all tbh #just remember: not everything someone posts is for you + not everything is an invitation #(disclaimers i have to put out there becuase i’ve had boys message me on my professional accounts being like— #‘that stuff you liked and responded to (another domme) about is really scary i don’t think you’re a good domme anymore’ ahehjshsgsgsgsh #as if i care what some random boy says about what i take interest in #but it was just hilarious because it was just some n/eedle play that another domme i admired and was complimenting #and this boy i had messaged with ONCE was scared i was gonna stab him……….. #like get a grip bruh #/end rambling #and by ‘like this very often’ i mean that this is an unfiltered look into my h/orny brain #i’m way more put together and eloquent on the professional side which gets EXHAUSTING quickly

[goldshykitsune]

Okay now that I posted the thing about how intrusive thoughts are like I shall say this.

(Almost forgot to put the read more)

I have gotten the most concerned looks at me for telling people some of the intrusive thoughts I get. Especially when I get them and I just kind if say it out loud to a friend.

However I don't think some of them realize that when I am saying these thoughts I am not having the intention to do them. Like I don't, at least most times I don't.

However not every time can I say I don't wanna actually do them. Making them possibly impulsive maybe?

I mean I do gotta say I do sometimes actually wanna do something like stab someone but also not... I would think it's still intrusive right?

Like seriously I literally have stabbed people with pencils before (it was one person and I was in elementary... like 5th grade but still elementary!)

That was the most of me actually acting upon it.

Like I only wanted to impress someone. Yes rven I have fallen madly in love with someone... someone who I also wanted to kill and we had a whole weird relationship... no wonder that one guy jokingly said he was my boyfriend... at the time I would've loved that but now I realize the guy might've only saw me as a friend or might've been ace/aro... I do wonder how he is doing now.

I ain't going into my weird relationship with him, but I'll answer questions if people have any.

Anyways back to topic. I will tell peopley intrusive thoughts and they look at me like I had committed them or will. Which I sometimes wonder if I might one day snap and actually do what they say.

But like if I have to do what any of my intrusive thoughts are abput I wonder if it'll be just like in hate or love? (Thinking about the fact some intrusive thoughts snuck into the way I'd have a dating type relationship. Like you know those couples who hurt each other but in loving ways or they role-play as if they are since not everyone is into the actual doing the harming/bring harmed but love the thought of it or something... I think this is safe to say without it being inappropriate right? I don't even know any more.)

What I was saying is like simple biting, or pretending to bite. Nothing extreme. Anyways my intrusive thoughts confuse me cause they are so close to those ones. What even are those called? I guess technically kink? But... is it? I dunno?

#kink mention? #do people look at tags before they read posts? #I'll add a read more or whatever the thingy is just incase so people can see this #intrusive thoughts #uh... #murder thoughts mentioned #intrusive thoughts mentioned #biting thoughts mentioned #people are seriously concerned yet I am still friends with them but I know they are tad worried #I mean they sometimes ask if they are intrusive thoughts #like what you think I'd go and stab a person? #okay well I have but come on! it was a weird time in my life and I never got in trouble and I didn't hurt them badly #I guess I did attempt to murder someone... but also not. #like my brain said no yet I still did the action #though slowly enough that I wouldn't actually hurt him #though the twacher did not even try to stop me #I actually just realized I probably could actually get away with murder #oh gosh #Well now I know how #just be me #let everyone love you and know you'd actively murder yet they do nothing about it #yeah #... hm... #I do question this now cause.... #you know that knife game? #the one where you stab the inside of your hand #well... I literally had teachers watch me doing that (with a pencil/pen of course) and they said nothing #yet everyone else who did it got in trouble #... #okay seriously what was up with everyone?

[esyra]

After the hospital bombing, I finally heard back from my grandmother and confirmed that several of my relatives were murdered by Israeli bombing. Seven of them, to be precise. Three are still going, including her. We've been talking constantly ever since.

Asked if it was possible to head south, and was told they did but were also bombed there. So they decided to go back home, in Zeitoun. Their home was bombed and they were pulled out of the rumble, then driven by ambulances to the al-Ahli Arab Hospital. There were people in every corner. Gazans sheltering, sleeping on the floor. Gazans dying on the floor, waiting for beds.

Four were declared dead on arrival, three were in need of surgery and other three were just bandaged. Then, a bomb was dropped in the parking lot that made parts of the ceiling collapse, like Dr. Ghassan Abu Sittah reported in that horrific conference/interview. Those in need of surgery died.

By the way, just in case you didn't know: the Church of Saint Porphyrius, the third oldest in history, bombed by Israel a few days back, was located near the hospital.

When looking for new shelter, they saw schools with signs hanging outside, "We can't take any more families." They met families, sympathetic but already sheltering too many people. They're now staying in an apartment building they found empty. Sleeping in the corner of the living room. If the family comes back, they'll apologize and leave.

Told me she was saving her phone battery for when the bombing stopped, and she had to ask for help to rebuilt the neighborhood. But she doesn't think it's gonna stop anymore. The ones still with her are mute most of the time, like they're saving energy, but she feels lonely and wanted to talk. There's no internet and to connect to WhatsApp, people are buying "a card from the supermarket, there's a password and username." Not sure what she meant. Still, the internet is inconsistent and won't load neither videos or images nor pages, so she doesn't know what's happening on the outside world.

Told her there were a lot of people protesting to stop the genocide, she replied, "The bombings are getting worse by the day." The bombing yesterday was the worst she ever witnessed. The entire neighborhood is infested with the smell of death, of decomposing bodies. Bodies are piling up in the streets and she's not sure if it's because they ran out of places to store them, but most of them are in bags. The smoke of the bombings hide the blue sky—she hasn't seen the clouds for a while.

Asked if I could share their pictures, names and dreams with people and was told, of which I partly agree, "they're not entertainment." If anyone genuinely cared, they would be alive—I'd argue there are people who do care, but I'm not gonna lecture her pain. And they don't deserve to be used to fulfill someone's sick fantasy. Told me to remember what some Israelis do with pictures of dead Palestinians. And I do.

For those of you who are not familiar, many times before settlers got together to celebrate the murder of Palestinians. For one, in 2015, Israeli settlers set a house in Duma, West Bank on fire. An 18-month old baby, Ali Dawbsheh, was burnt alive. Both parents later died of wounds and only a 5-year-old, Ahmad, survived, although severely injured.

Two celebrations of their murder are widely known, one at a wedding and others outside the court in which two were indicted for the terrorist attack. In the wedding, guests stabbed a photo of the toddler, Ali, while others waved guns, knives and Molotov cocktails. Israel's Minister of National Security, Itamar Ben-Gvir, was present.

That's what happens in an apartheid. Palestinians are so abused by authorities that their "innocent civilians" come to accept the brutality as necessary or are desensitized by our suffering. After all, it's been 75 years—get used to it!

So I won't risk the image of my loved ones, in fear they are used in these kinds of depravity. I will say, though, the world lost a young footballer. Lost a female writer and an aspiring ballerina. Lost a kind father, who was also a great cook, and a loving mother that enjoyed sewing and other types of handicraft art. Lost a math teacher and a child that wanted to become one.

People think Israel is testing new weapons on them. There's civilians arriving at the hospital with severe burns, which they thought was from white phosphorus, but apparently the pattern is different from the one caused by white phosphorus. It's widely believed Israel tests weapons in Palestinians.

Jeff Halper, author of War Against the People, a book on Israel's arms and surveillance technology industries, said: "Israel has kept the occupation because it's a laboratory for weapons."

They've ran out of drinkable water and the "aid" Biden sent was only for the South of Gaza and no fuel, for hospitals, was allowed in. Many shelves in the supermarket are empty. She said many are convinced that if they don't die from the bombing, they'll die from starvation or dehydration, or whatever disease will develop from the dirty water they're drinking.

Told me all people do now is pray, cry and die. Told me she hopes West Bank is spared. Told her Israel bombed a mosque in West Bank and dozens of Palestinians in West Bank are being murdered by settlers, so she bided me goodbye.

#palestine #free palestine #gaza #free gaza #may allah protect them #may almighty allah see our pain #hopefully she'll message me tomorrow