#it’s the misogyny and we all know it :/ it affects men in the sports as well because if you’re a male cheerleader you’re treated badly and | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

doberbutts · 3 months

Note

You mentioned in response to another ask that you don't use "transandrophobia" because the trans theory you were taught by trans women told you that "transmisogyny" covered those things and that is a total revelation to me. I've been thinking for a long time that it seemed to me that the idea of transmisogyny *does* cover transandrophobia, it just impacts trans femmes and trans mascs differently a lot of the time. But I had no idea that there has been theory/discussion that says this. I'm more used to the idea of "TMA" with the implication that only trans women are affected by transmisogyny. Is that more of a new thing and transmisogyny used to be considered as a more broad term? And would you trace that change to the same issue you're talking about with a lot of current feminism forgetting how feminism is also a "men's issue"?

Idk if I would call it "new" per say. The word trans-misogyny was coined in 2007 and did not include trans men, but the book in which it was coined did mention that language was likely needed to describe the trans man experience as well. There have been a number of different attempts, but none have really stuck.

I went to college starting in 2010, so roughly 3 years after Serrano coined the word. While in college, my school's GSA wanted LGBT elders to come and talk to all the scared freshly-minted adults who were trying to figure out this being gay thing. The woman who ran my GSA found a Trans woman who was willing to be my mentor and sponsor, she wrote my letters for me back when that was still necessary for medical transition, and we met frequently for her to teach me more or less how to be trans safely. Some things she did not know- how to bind safely, how to attach a semi-permenant packer, etc. But others she knew very well, because she herself dealt with both being seen as a man by society as well as the effects of testosterone on her body for decades before she transitioned.

Anyway. This woman was great, and is a significant portion of the reason I'm still alive to this day. And she is who taught me the word transmisogyny, and that it should really cover all trans people because all trans people experience an intersection of transphobia and misogyny. Whether that was popular theory at the time or not, that is what us young kids learned directly from the mouths of trans women at my college, which to me means that others were also learning this particular version of transfeminist theory.

Unfortunately by the time I dropped out of college in 2013/2014, online trans spaces were having stupid arguments such as "transtrenders are bad" and "neopronouns are bad" and "nonbinary people are cis people who want to feel special" and "trans men should be hunted for sport" and "trans women are incel nazis" and. Well. I went "wow this place is a cesspit and I feel like no one here has actually talked to another transgender person face to face" and then did not engage with the online community. So I don't really know how common or popular the understanding I was taught was at the time, though it certainly seems quite rare now.

(As a caveat I don't really think trans people of any gender have anything that isn't similar with each other when it comes to oppression, outside of certain bodily things that can't be helped because that's literally the thing we're transgender about, and I think we all experience very similar oppression but sometimes with a different hat)

As for what caused this particular defining to fall into obscurity? I really can't say. I don't know how popular the transfeminist theory the trans women who spoke at my GSA meetings taught us actually was in the broader world. Every once in a while I meet someone who lived through that same time who remembers that theory, which tells me it had gained at least some traction if it was being discussed in multiple parts of the country, but... that's really it. And it's pretty unpopular theory nowadays, I get people calling me a scumbag and claiming that I say transmisogyny doesn't exist just for mentioning that the theory I was taught includes trans men in the discussion.

But I don't think it's specifically the whole TMA/TME thing. I think it's a lack of understanding of what oppression and what intersectionality are, how they operate, how they work, how we define things through them. There are many people who believe that men do not experience misogyny. But, they do, that's why it's an insult to a boy to call him a girl during a moment of femininity or vulnerability, as a means of calling him weak because girls are believed to be weak. There are many people who think intersectionality turns oppression into additives, as though stacking marginalizations like dnd buffs. This also falls apart because oppression is not like quick math where you add a +5 to every roll if any part of your identity is privileged and a -7 if any part is oppressed.

I've had people get mad at me for saying that straight people experience homophobia while we also have sitting politicians that make jokes on live TV about how they'd drown their (presumably straight) children if they found out their kids were gay. For saying that GNC cis people experience transphobia when butches are getting kicked out of bathrooms and drag queens are getting jumped in bars. For reminding people that when Sikhs are killed due to being mistaken for Muslim in this country that hates Muslims over a national tragedy our Muslim population did not cause, it's still considered and called Islamophobia, because just because Americans are too stupid to tell a Sikh from a Muslim doesn't mean they weren't spurred into that hate crime by their rampant hatred of Muslims and the sight of a turban and long beard.

318 notes · View notes

nothorses · 2 months

Note

I have an acquaintance who I believe has been gone to the tirf side and while I don't think she's going to be able to be talked to on this the thing she posted to me to try to be like "well this trans man thinks you can't be specifically against trans masc people" did make me think like,

If transmisogyny has been expanded from just being about the type of extreme violence described by serrano to a lot of other items, but some people don't believe that anything similar can be described to trans men, then it feels like they are saying that men are the default in the way that anything bad that happens to a trans man or trans masc person is just transphobia but bad things that happen to trans women are transmisogyny.

Like I feel like it's a bit like, what is just transphobia any more then, is it something which just applies to all trans people or is it the same transphobia which can affect trans masc and trans fems?

Are there limits to what can be called transmisogyny like people are putting to transandrophobia?

Honestly, I think this idea kind of rests on this very weird model of gender categorization that really just ignores what transphobia is, and how it actually works on a systemic level.

The implication here is that trans women are women, therefore what they experience is misogyny. Which means that because trans men are men, what we experience cannot be misogyny.

We see this same logic in "TME/TMA" ("transmisogyny exempt/transmisogyny affected") language, which also conflates oppression with identity: do your actual lived experiences with oppression determine your "TME/TMA" categorization? Or are people of certain identities simply considered exempt from transmisogyny, by nature of those identities alone? In practice, it is overwhelmingly the later.

If we consider transmisogyny to be a system of oppression that is expressed in particular ways, rather than a kind of oppression that only impacts certain people, "TME/TMA" categorization immediately falls apart. Nobody is "exempt" from a system of oppression that, for example, polices conformity to idealized western standards of cis womanhood in sports; we know for a fact that women of color are regularly deeply affected by transmisogynistic rules and laws in sports. Those same women do not face many other aspects of transmisogyny-- currently they are not in danger of being places in men's prisons, for example-- but clearly, that doesn't mean they're exempt from transmisogyny, either.

The point here is that these are systems of oppression, and while they target certain qualities in people, their goal is ultimately to police certain societal rules. It doesn't matter what your identity actually is; only that you are breaking those rules.

Trans women are women, but they are not seen as women by these systems. They are seen as people who are breaking a particular set of rules; not "woman", not "man", but "other". Even "defective", "failed", or "outlaw". Transmisogyny exists to police their particular ways of breaking those rules, and it does not particularly care how they actually identity themselves, on an individual level.

Trans men are men, but we are not seen as men. We are breaking rules, too, and there are systems in place to police those rules; we've named them "transandrophobia" (or "transmisandry", or "antitransmasculinity", or whatever) so we can talk about them a little more easily.

#transandrophobia #transandromisia

66 notes · View notes

formulatrash · 7 months

Note

hazel, do you have any tips for getting over the casual misogyny in motorsport? it seems like once every few months, someone i find comforting (either a driver or a content creator) just says something very weird. i thought i was good at curating what i look at, but this keeps happening. i've been a fan of f1 (+ f2 & occasionally indycar) for like 1,5 years now, do i just accept it as a part of the fan experience?

uhm. I guess there isn't a straightforward answer to this.

(FIA single seater) motorsport is misogynist. it is also racist, homophobic, etc. it exists in a framework that uplifts and prioritises white, western european men and then buttons even them into a tight shirt of respectability that means they can only be one thing.

obviously, the sport of racing cars does not inherently mandate that. nothing about running a car around a track requires those social specifics. so the misogynists, racists, homophobes, etc can enforce lines that say the car doesn't know who's driving it, as though we don't know how much every aspect outside the car affects drivers - and team members and media and especially fans.

the last few years have seen promises to shift that. and also a wave of people who are genuinely interested in making a change - do I think the Screaming Meals lads were mortified they'd done a misogyny when it was pointed out to them? yes. well, I know they were. but it didn't stop them doing it in the first place because they're so immersed in a world that doesn't recognise things so much worse as misogyny that the scale of what to call out is calibrated all wrong.

when it comes to picking and curating who you follow or like: everyone, in anything, will always make mistakes. whether you're famous or not, whether you've got a platform or not, there will be times in your life where you get stuff wrong. the people who reflect on that, who learn, who correct themselves and who are clearly overall trying are what matters.

in a world that's extremely bigoted and a microcosm of it that's like a compressed version of that there will always be things that are like a bucket of cold water to the face. some people learn from getting a reaction to them, some people don't; the former are important and worthwhile, don't waste your loyalty on the latter.

#motorsport asks

38 notes · View notes

goosemixtapes · 4 months

Text

max's top books of 2023 :3c

as usual, these rankings are based on some arcane mix of objective quality + my personal enjoyment (previous year's lists)

it was another weird reading year! i did a lot of reading for school, more so than in the past; some of it was really good and some of it was, uh. well, some of it was william wordsworth. nothing i absolutely loathed, though (most of the reads i disliked were books i could at least appreciate on an art/history level), which is cool. so i'm bringing back the runner-up category. did not make it onto my top ten list but were really good anyway: beartown by fredrik backman (books that no joke made me understand why people are insane about sports) and the GORGEOUS re-release of my dear @yvesdot 's debut, something's not right, which i have read before but will always gladly revisit again.

my top anticipated release for 2024 is alecto the ninth again.

(but shoutout also to just happy to be here, king cheer, and henry henry. trans people! shakespeare, even!)

and the list! in increasing order of enjoyment, with pictures this year!

10. The Common Liar by Janet Adelman

no, i can't believe i'm doing this either. i can't believe i did all that preamble and the first book on my list is an academic thesis analyzing shakespeare's antony and cleopatra. but also? it's the only book anyone ever needs to write about shakespeare's antony and cleopatra. janet adelman said it all. which is cool, because i have a fixation on that play, but also sucks, because i was also trying to write an essay on it and mine wasn't nearly as good. btw if anyone wants to buy this for me, somehow, for the $120 it costs on amazon because academia is awful, i will send you my address,

9. Robert Icke's Oresteia

i don't need to say anything about this play, because it's the source of "this was always going to happen. she's been dead since the beginning." that should be enough. but after becoming deranged about the oresteia last year, i finally read this, and holy shit, this adaptation of the story is so fucking genius and icke's writing is so fucking good. it's antiwar! it's about mental illness! there's gender! the fucking ENDING! (i have a pdf if anyone would like it. anything to plug this play bark bark bark rufrufruf grrrrrr)

8. Down Girl: the Logic of Misogyny by Kate Manne

this is a little bit cheating, because i haven't finished this book yet, so maybe in the final chapters manne will say something like "what if we blew up every orphan" and i'll have to retract this. but right now it's fucking excellent! i've been making an effort to read more nonfiction lately, and this one shines; manne sets out to analyze misogyny not as a personal hatred of women that some men harbor, but as an intricate and structural system forcing women into the role of Giving (attention, affection, power, etc; sometimes their lives). and it's sooooo smart. some of it is stuff i already know (and some of it is Academic Philosophy TM that goes right over my head), but manne articulates her point excellently and i can feel it rearranging my brain, so it's going on the list for longevity and skill!

7. Dictator by Robert Harris

does this book objectively deserve to be on this list? you know what, yeah. i'll say it with my whole chest. i don't like how harris writes women and there are plenty of things to pick at in his cicero trilogy, but i had so much goddamn fun reading it that i can't not put it on the list. this was my year of being really really into cicero, and this was fun to read alongside e-pistulae. harris is sooooo good at making ancient roman politics gripping. the last scenes of this book. augh. ack. ough!

6. Detransition Baby by Torrey Peters

there are a lot of valid critiques of this one (a lot of bad critiqus, too, but such is writing literally anything about transness), but i fucking adored it. i LOVE dual timelines, i LOVE unlikable characters, and i FUCKING LOVE TRANSSEXUALITY! moreover, i love that peters isn't afraid to Go There, to poke at the messy ugly sides of transness (and queerness in general) that i think a lot of us don't like acknowledging, especially to cishet people whose view of the community is already skewed. i don’t think this is the One Great Trans Novel; i think there are a lot of great trans novels, and we need more. but this one did hit me RIGHT in the chest, and i couldn't put it down.

5. Wrath Goddess Sing by Maya Deane

the iliad but achilles is a trans woman and she's fighting the war on both mortal and divine levels and she and helen have an insane homoerotic half-god rivalry and everybody is fucking crazy. pitched as "for fans of TSOA" but as i said in my review if TSOA is a pleasant but watery iced tea then this book is gasoline laced with crack. there is a bisexual transgender threesome. i fucking love women. book of the fucking summer

4. White Teeth by Zadie Smith

i probably enjoyed wrath goddess sing more, but i can't not rank this book highly on this list. this book is such a fucking masterpiece. it's tolstoy for the modern age. it's a sprawling multi-familial multi-cultural multi-generational epic about race and gender and religion and science and humanity and britishness. smith's prose is fucking amazing; her character work is even better; this book has no plot but it uses its length sooooooo well. the first zadie smith i've read, but by god there will be more. she wrote this at TWENTY-FIVE. that's fucking CRAZY. do you know how much control over your craft you have to have to write this at twenty-five. bonkers. it is also the only enjoyable book i read in my modern literature class, so shoutout to white teeth for keeping me sane,

3. The Secret to Superhuman Strength by Alison Bechdel

this book is ostensibly about bechdel's relationship with exercise. it is actually about bechdel's relationship with her own body, her own soul, her desire for individualism in the style of the transcendentalists, transcendentalism in general, mortality, and aging. i can't really tell you more than that because i didn't actually "read" this so much as i absorbed it through my skin like a frog while trying not to tremble like a little purse dog. i am not gonna lie man i did not have a very good. um. august. or september. or october november december. so this book really could not have come at a better time. alison bechdel i am obsessed with you

2. The Essential Dykes to Watch Out For by Alison Bechdel

ALISON BECHDEL I AM OBSESSED WITH YOU!!!! this one narrowly edges out secret to superhuman strength because... well, i'm sort of rating the entire comic strip's run, and dude. holy shit. i love lesbians so much. this strip is such an important piece of lesbian history; it reminded me that a lot of the things lesbians (and LGBT people in general) argue about and deal with today are... the same things we've always argued about and dealt with, from intracommunity label discourse to global politics to hitting on women badly. but history aside--it's also just really fucking good! it's really funny! if you are a neurotic leftist, as so many of us are, it's hysterical! it's smart! it's hot! it's heartwarming! i read it over the first half of the year, in little bits and pieces, and by the end i felt like i really had gone decades with these characters. really just. so good. the power she has the range she has

1. the suzanne collins reread

okay. this one is definitely cheating. because i usually like to keep this list to books i'm reading for the first time, and i HAVE read the hunger games and the underland chronicles. but i read them, like, almost ten years ago, and i was not prepared to be so thoroughly fucking bodied by them this time around, now that i have critical thinking and analysis skills. we all know the hunger games is a fucking banger, so let me pitch the gregor the overlander series: something of a modern alice in wonderland setup, where the eleven-year-old main character falls into an underground world full of strangeness, except this world isn't whimsical, it's dangerous and stuffed with giant talking animals like bats and rats and cockroaches. there's a war on. there are plagues. there are war crimes. there is a plotline that is extremely explicitly about ethnic cleansing. there is some of the most heartbreaking fucking shit you've ever read in your goddamn life. there is also a rat who quotes macbeth and the underlanders revere a guy named bartholomew of sandwich. this series is for middle schoolers. i cried. not when i was a middle schooler reading it the first time; i mean now. so i'm breaking my no-rereads rule, because it really would be a lie to say that my best reading experience wasn't revisiting all of collins' work with my friends (yes, i read TBSOS; i think it's fine but not great). sorry to give publicity to an author who definitely doesn't need my help, but a few years ago my #1 spot went to shakespeare, so.

if you've read this far: thank you! please tell me your thoughts! tell me your favorite books of 2023! tell me which books you're excited for in 2024! and have a very lovely new year :)

#max.txt #misc book tag #readings

15 notes · View notes

lift-heavy-be-gay · 4 months

Text

Let's talk about transgender athletes

this is gonna be a long rant so I'm just gonna put a cut down below. dni if you're a terf or just wanna cause problems.

So, recently in class we were discussing different drugs used illegally and legally in sports and eventually the topic of transgender athletes came up (because of course). However, my professor handled it really well and as a trans athlete (pre transition), I just wanna talk about my feelings on the matter.

Keep in mind that this is my opinion, but I have been studying this in uni and may have more of an insight on how testosterone and estrogen actually affect the body. Anyway, there are two main points I wanna make.

As an afab athlete myself, I compete in a mostly strength based sport (though some technique and skill is necessary). However, I could not even begin to think about competing with my amab counterparts. It would put me at an unfair disadvantage and them an unfair advantage.

The first being that—depending on the time you began taking hormones/how long you've been taking hormones—you most likely won't be able to compete in high level competitions like the olympics. I know that people are going to be upset at this, but please listen. If you began taking hormones around the age you would begin puberty, then by the time you're an adult still presumably taking said hormones, then your levels would most likely be that of a cis person. However, if you're taking hormones after puberty, then the testosterone difference between amab and afab people is *staggering*. This article states that amab people generate 15x more testosterone than afab people. Even if they begin taking hrt, it takes YEARS to even begin to see a significant difference.

But

(and this leads to my second point)

There are numerous advantages and disadvantages for cis people in sports. Whether it be financial status, family history, access to training, facilities, or injury prevention/rehabilitation. If kid A is from a long line of well-off basketball players and has the resources to compete, then he definitely has an advantage over kid B who is from the middle of nowhere with no support and even worse facilities. Fact of the matter is, cis people are unevenly matched up against each other all the time. There are a hundred and one different ways that they may have an advantage or disadvantage over each other. Why is it different for transgender athletes? Scratch that. Why is it different between genders at all?

What I'm trying to say is that, I've met plenty afab people who are stronger than amab guys. I really don't think gender matters that much in a lot of sports. I believe we should start separating athletes based on weight rather than gender. (Of course, that's just my opinion.)

It's just that whenever I hear the topic about transgender athletes in sports, it's always about trans women. It's about how it's "not fair" and they are "doing it on purpose to get an easy win" and a bunch of other excuses to try and justify not letting them play. Surprisingly, I don't often (if at all) hear the same argument about trans men. On the surface, a lot of these debates about trans athletes is good ole' transphobia. But if you look deeper, it's really just misogyny. Most people don't even care about the sport, they just want another avenue to oppress a group of people.

Basically, the situation is not as black and white as most would like to believe, and there's a lot of nuance involved when trying to understand this topic. It's unfortunate that many trans athletes have to even deal with this extra bs in order to compete.

anyway, end of rant. thanks for reading if you made it this far. there's definitely more I could say on this, but these are the main points I wanted to make.

tldr: while there are inherent biological differences between amab and afab people, that doesn't excuse excluding trans athletes from being able to compete

#transgender athletes #trans women #trans men #sports #athletics #trans athletes #transphobia #misogyny #transgender #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbt #my post

9 notes · View notes

sneezemonster15 · 1 year

Note

Why do like 90% of males think male homosexuality is disgusting? I read somewhere that they think it's as gross as rotten flesh 😭 also why do they laugh at it and make jokes about it too like they can't take it seriously? They're so insufferable, I see this so often. Not that I care about their opinions but they're the same kinda guys who gave yaoi loving girls the name fujoshi meaning "rotten girl" because that's how disgusting they thought they were. Freaks. It wasn't like this in ancient Greece, was it? What changed? Now they're more annoying. Before they were only misogynists and not homophobic but now they're both :/

Hah. This is one of the ramifications of the well entrenched patriarchal system in the midst of which, we live and operate. It has always been like this. Didn't happen overnight. It's intricate and quite a bit of it is invisibilised and the rest is normalised. It's better in some places, worse in others. But it's everywhere barring pockets of tribes which are matrilineal, which seem almost inconsequential in the larger picture of things.

Within the patriarchal set up, men also are conditioned to potentially satisfy certain expectations, whether it be of a provider or a leader, decision-maker. They are taught that certain things are acceptable where others are taboo. A heteronormative society, whether it be a man or a woman, would glorify or normalise heterosexuality and denigrate anything that comes into opposition with it. Heteronormativity is the narrative they grew up with, that's how they were conditioned. They were inspired by or impacted by their parents, neighbours, teachers, members of their peer group, also heteronormative, who reinforced these narratives and with time, they became a line that is not to be crossed. Taboo.

These dudebros online are just insecure little boys. That and very dumb. Naruto is shounen battle manga and most men/boys take it for granted that it's targeted at them (because it is) and they do end up enjoying it. When you have got super straight and super popular shounen MCs such as Luffy or Goku, it just reinforces the notion that Naruto also will be the same way. And Naruto the story does have all the nuts and bolts of a typical shounen manga, even if it also has a lot of other stuff that is a bit more subtle. A lot of dudebros really relate with Naruto and proudly. A lot of them incelish. Imagine how they would react to the fact that Naruto is gay. Lol. It really troubles their sense of masculine identity to think Naruto could be gay, that's why so many of them would get so bothered whenever Naruto would get super focussed on Sasuke. Lol. And so many of them think that Naruto was wrong to 'let Sasuke free' at the end. According to them, it was unpatriotic. Because that's what they think this story is about. Lol.

Like I said, most Naruto fans are way too attached to their lens. It's emotional for dudebros too. And you can't really argue with an emotionally affected illogical bigot. That's just too many odds against reason lol. They also think Itachi is hell's bells. Itachi is a Sigma male for them. I bet you can find many dudes who fangirl over both Itachi and Andrew Tate. Hahaha.

They are both misogynistic and homophobic, they have always been. Misogyny kinda goes hand in hand with homophobia with these men. Anything that threatens their narrative about men, women and their heteronormative m/f dynamic, will trigger this juvenile, bigoted behaviour in them. And their sense of entitlement as men makes them think they can get away with it. They do get away with a lot of times because reasonable fans usually don't invest in them, considering it a waste of time.

When I was in school, I had a few male members in my group. Three of these boys were very close. Straight boys. But you know, they were growing up, their hormones were welling up. One time, after graduating from school, we were drinking and one of these inebriated boys told me this. In school, after the sports period, they would take a shower together and sometimes, they would jerk each other off. Straight boys. They were curious and their sense of sexuality was not consciously set in stone. They didn't think of it as an overtly sexual act, for them, it was just boys having fun. They would get bored of jerking off themselves so someone else's hand did the trick for them. Another boy. A very good friend. When my friend later told me about it, he was aware how sexual an activity it was. He had realized that it was 'controversial', it was 'gay' and he felt guilty about it. He felt shame. So did the others, so they made a pact to never talk about it.

Kids often indulge in sexual acts while not being consciously aware about its nature. They are discovering their sexuality, their newly minted desire, their changing bodies, the unsettling surge of sex hormones. It's understandable. A lot of kids unconsciously experiment with overt or not so overt sexual acts without being consciously aware of what it implies. Which is understandable. I have heard such accounts from many men. They would never share it with another man though. Their sense of male masculine pride would shatter. Doesn't help that more often than not, there's no one to talk to them about it. Most parents don't, especially in conservative societies. No one to tell them what's right, what's acceptable, what's certainly not. Sex is still a very taboo subject among a lot of societies. Even reproductive sex, and not just recreational sex.

If someone had reassured those boys at the time, if someone had talked to them about it in a balanced way, perhaps their sense of sex and homosexuality/sexual orientation would be more mature, less prejudiced, more inclusive. Don't look at me, I was also quite young, I had not started delivering sermons and lectures yet haha. I did laugh my ass off when he told me though. It was not helpful at all. Hahahaha. You should have seen his face.

It's sad how so many grown and mature men still feel icky about homosexuality. I have seen so many of them who wouldn't be overtly homophobic but they would still show it in some way or the other. One time, i was working on a project where one of the team members was openly and flamboyantly gay, and my very 'liberal', foreign educated, upper middle class male boss hired him on an urgent basis and then appointed me to supervise him. One time, I needed some approvals so I told the boss to talk to him directly. He said no. He acted like it creeped him out, made him uncomfortable. For the rest of the project, I had to act as the liaison, which was fine for me, we became good friends. But it was pretty clear how 'open minded' my boss really was and how entitled he felt to be wearing the mantle of 'liberalism'. He was also a misogynist under the garb of feminism. Another member of the team, a woman, was fired by him. Now she was definitely to blame for her otherwise unprofessional behaviour, but one of her concerns about mistreatment by one of her own assistants (male) should have been addressed with respect. It wasn't. Instead, she was made fun of by the boss. He simply bypassed her complaint about harassment by her male assistant.

My boss would also make fun of the gay man behind his back because of his 'body language' and 'feminine' disposition. He would do it subtly, like it was just harmless ribbing, just a joke. But of course it wasn't. It was more than microaggression. It was disrespectful and very homophobic. I have seen so many men act like this, and it's crazy how so many men never talk amongst themselves about it. In my circles, they would tell me because I am not too judgmental, because I am a woman and because I am not conventionally 'feminine' in opposition to their conventional 'masculinity', which always seemed to reassure them. They thought of me as just one of the guys. I am not. I often found it funny but also quite sad.

So many of these men would open up only after getting sloshed. Their inhibitions would only be relieved when under the influence. Imagine all the energy spent on towing this line, the way both men and women are conditioned how to be.

A five minute shallow interaction online isn't going to do the trick. These men need to be rehabilitated. Their notions about sex and sexuality with respect to the world in all its inherent diversity need to be reexamined and changed where needed. It's difficult to feel sympathy for such men, yes. Some of them. But I am sure they will not be receptive to aggression, they have a degree in aggression themselves. You need to find their emotional Achilles heel, a chink in their armor, to find an in. It's honestly quite easy to crack most men. If you wanna break them, hit where it hurts most, their ego. If you wanna gain their trust, play up to their ego.

Why call them freaks? Lots of women also act like them. It's quite easy to see why they act like it too. We all come with our notions. We all have certain narratives we have grown up with. Certain hardlines we aren't supposed to cross. Certain socio politico cultural structures that reinforce these narratives that form the foundation of our lived experiences from babyhood that most people don't question, whether it be men or women. Our society was not built to be conducive to questions or challenges. It was built to repress them and eventually squash them. So obviously, we aren't able to reach an understanding about something that needs empathy and an open mind, that could really benefit with a balanced dialogue. Especially something that needs us to relook at our belief systems/established narratives. Such as feminism, homosexuality. What we don't understand, we hate or fear or revile.

One would really need to hunker down and have a proper dialogue, if you really want to change these narratives. It would take time and effort and lots of patience. You would need to invest. Build a new narrative. Look at all the ingredients that make up these narratives and start at the root. Change them one at a time. Unless that is done, one cannot convince them of Naruto and Sasuke being gay and it being a gay love story.

#ask #naruto #sns

28 notes · View notes

chiefmysticmia · 2 years

Text

Why I Read Cassie Cage from Mortal Kombat as a Lesbian

(p.s apologies if the formatting is awful on here I honestly don’t know how to do it properly HAHA)

Hi! So I’ve been getting into Mortal Kombat recently and a character that particularly caught my eye was Cassie Cage. I’m not sure why but I absolutely adore her character and whilst reading into her backstory, the story modes of MKX and MK11 (which I have yet to finish) and her intros, I have noticed a lot of her traits relate to both my own and other’s experiences as a lesbian.

For context I myself am a lesbian, and during my coming out journey I have discovered many things about myself that I originally thought were universal experiences until I started reading up on lesbianism and the experiences of other lesbians in discovering their identities. I could just be reading into Cassie’s character a bit too much (or projecting onto her), but I think one of the reasons I find comfort in her character is because of these traits.

So! I’ve decided to make a post going into more detail about this because it’s pride month and I have nothing better to do with my time, plus I love talking about my interpretations of characters.

(Just as a disclaimer, I’m absolutely not saying ‘“all these things mean that Cassie is a canon lesbian and any other interpretation is wrong!!!”. Nor am I forcing anyone to agree with me. Her sexuality isn’t confirmed at all. This is just how I, a lesbian, interpret her and I am open to other points of view. Any lesbiphobia and general LGBTQphobia will be deleted)

Cassie in Mortal Kombat X

To start with, I want to discuss how Cassie was presented in MKX.

I read this post the other day, and it put how I felt about Cassie in MKX versus MK11 very well. Unfortunately, queer/queer-coded characters are often full of stereotypes, and MKX Cassie fit in pretty well with the typical stereotypes lesbians face, i.e her lack of traditional femininity and her cocky attitude. Also, the fact that when Johnny said he was worried when she started dating, Cassie responded with “Afraid I’d come home with someone like you?”, with no gender specified. The fact that she shows no romantic interest in men whilst sporting those stereotypes speaks volumes in my opinion. I believe that in MKX, Cassie was intended to be queer-coded, but NRS backed out in MK11 after fans started to pick up on this.

Of course this doesn’t mean queer characters who fit into the stereotypes are inherently bad. I absolutely love characters who are lesbians and are portrayed similarly to Cassie.

I’m gonna use this opportunity to talk about the link (or lack of) between lesbianism and womanhood:

Due to the severe amount of misogyny and sexism in history, womanhood has almost exclusively revolved around empowering men. Thankfully, this is nowhere near as bad as it was years ago, but it still impacts all AFAB people and transfem people in one way or another

Lesbian is the only sexuality that doesn’t involve men at all. In a society where men are considered ‘superior’ to women, this makes our experiences in the LGBTQ community unique to others. All sexualities experience their own unique problems, discrimination, prejudice etc, and ours tends to revolve around the fact that we are non-men who are not attracted to men. Therefore, having a female/non-binary character who does not show any signs of attraction to men makes that character somewhat relatable to lesbians. Growing up, almost all the female protagonists and supporting characters we see in media end up with a man or are at least attracted to one. We lesbians had barely any characters whom we could look at and see ourselves in.

Obviously I am not saying that the discrimination lesbians face is worse or even comparable to the rest of the LGBTQ+ community. I’m just stating how it affects us in society.

How does this relate to Cassie, you may ask? Well:

Like I mentioned before, MKX Cassie doesn’t show any sign of being attracted to men, unlike a majority of female Mortal Kombat characters (Kitana, Sonya, Jade etc). Obviously this alone did not mean she was inherently a lesbian, but that along with the typical ‘masculine girl’ stereotype gave an implication that she was meant to be queer. Whilst I do not fully identify as female (I do not label my gender but I go by she/they pronouns), I am much more feminine than masculine in the way I present myself, yet I was still able to see aspects of myself in Cassie because of this.

Obviously, not all lesbians are ‘masculine’ and not all straight women are ‘feminine’. It’s just unfortunate that stereotypes play a big part in queer-coding.

tldr; Cassie’s lack of traditional femininity and attraction to male characters, despite being stereotypical, gives us lesbians something to relate to which we don’t often get in media

I think that’s all I have to say for this section, so let’s move on!

How Cassie changed in Mortal Kombat 11

Unlike the huge time skip between MK9 and MKX, the events of MK11 take place soon after those of MKX. However, Cassie’s character changed significantly; she became much more ‘typically feminine’ (long hair, makeup, painted nails etc). Whilst I love both versions of her, it is clear that the reason NRS changed her was partly due to the rumours of her being a lesbian for a number of reasons.

Now obviously if she was intended to be lesbian-coded, this could be a good thing as she would no longer represent as many stereotypes as she did. However, NRS added in a random boyfriend (or ex, we don’t know) who has absolutely no plot relevance, which leads me to believe that the only reason Dylan (or ‘Bob’ according to Sonya) was added into one intro between Cassie and Sonya was to combat the rumours that Cassie was a lesbian. Obviously lesbians can have dated/been attracted to men in the past, that doesn’t mean we’re any less valid, but the fact that Dylan was mentioned makes me think it had something to do with players picking up on Cassie being queer-coded. I’ll touch on this intro later on in the post because I have some things to say about it (not necessarily negative).

There was also the instance of Cassie apparently stealing Jacqui’s prom date, which I honestly cannot see Cassie doing out of genuine spite. Going by my lesbian headcanon, it seems more like an unobtainable, unrealistic crush, which a lot of lesbians experience and hold on to to try and convince themselves that they aren’t lesbians.

Cassie also had barely any interactions with female characters who weren’t her mother or Jacqui (who is technically family to her). If what I’ve theorised so far is correct, this could’ve been done to avoid fans shipping Cassie with other women (shoutout to Frost x Cassie shippers, y’all have an admirable amount of willpower).

tldr; The changes to Cassie in MK11 seem like they had something to do with the rumours that she was a lesbian amongst fans, leaving me to believe she was originally intended to be queer in MKX but NRS backed out of it in MK11.

There’s more to add, but I’m gonna break them up into different sections. Moving on:

The Intro referencing ‘Dylan’

(FYI: This part is more of a headcanon/me projecting rather than actual canonical evidence)

Like I said above, in one of the Cassie versus Sonya fight intros, a character called ‘Dylan’ (AKA ‘Bob’) is mentioned and implied to be either a current or previous romantic interest of Cassie’s.

Dylan has no plot relevance and, like I and others have theorised, exists to combat the rumours of Cassie being a lesbian.

However, what Sonya says about him (“Why learn his name if he’s not sticking around?”) implies that the relationship between him and Cassie is doomed. This line implies that Cassie has a history of relationships that end poorly, to the point where Sonya doesn’t know the name of her daughter’s current love interest. Obviously this could mean that Cassie struggles to keep stable relationships (possibly due to her parents’ divorce when she was young, which I can relate to), but since this is a lesbian headcanon I’m going to take a different interpretation.

A lot of lesbians experience ‘compulsory heterosexuality’, AKA comphet. This is term, originally coined by Adrienne Rich in her essay ‘Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence’ is used to describe the idea that in a heteronormative society, lesbians subconsciously devalue their relationships with other non-men, as AFAB people and even transfem people’s existence has majorly revolved around men in the past. Comphet comes in many forms and can feel like expecting yourself to date a man to feel worthy, forcing yourself to have crushes on men and many other ways that I cannot list on here because we’d be here all day.

Cassie being unable to keep stable relationships with men could be seen as comphet; dating men but not actually feeling a proper connection to them, leading to the relationship ending in disaster (another example being Cassie stealing Jacqui’s prom date). Considering NRS seems to have no problem confirming characters as bi, I’m sure that if Cassie had dated women in the past they would confirm that, which leads me to believe that all Cassie’s past relationships have been with men.

Again, this could just be me projecting onto her, but I find a lot of comfort in headcanoning Cassie to have comphet. It makes sense to me.

I was actually talking about this with my friend the other day and we came up with some funny hypothetical dialogue:

Cassie: “No woman really has any connection to the guys they date right? Like it’s all just for show, right you guys?”

The rest of the Kombat Kids: “…Um…”

*Takeda eyes Jacqui, who is profusely shaking her head to assure him that that is not, in fact, how most women feel*

tldr; Cassie’s relationship with Dylan was comphet because I experience comphet and I said so (/hj)

“But Mortal Kombat has confirmed Kung Jin, Mileena and Tanya to be LGBTQ+, why would they avoid doing the same with Cassie?”

This is a fair point: if there are confirmed gay and bisexual characters in MK, why would they not confirm a character to be a lesbian? Well…

As I previously stated, lesbianism is the only orientation that men cannot be involved in at all. In a society where men have power over non-men, lesbians are often excluded even by our own community (speaking from experience).

Sapphic relationships are often idealised and not seen as ‘proper’ relationships. I have seen many lesbians + other sapphic people who go through awful breakups be shocked because of how they’re always made out to be ‘perfect’. This is deeply rooted in misogyny, as AFAB people have always been seen as ‘dainty and fragile’ and in need of a man to complete them. This deeply affects transfem sapphics, too.

Considering Mortal Kombat is a series of fighting games, confirming a character to be a lesbian could make the character seem inferior to the rest of the fighters due to the fact that they wouldn’t need a man to ‘complete’ them. This is probably why NRS backed out of Cassie’s queer-coding after MKX; if they continued with it, people would expect her to end up in an idealised sapphic relationship, which could change how players, especially cishet men, view her and make her much less popular amongst fans.

Whilst Tanya and Mileena are confirmed to be WLW, they’re both bisexual. I’m so happy this series has really good bi representation, but unfortunately a lot of media is afraid to include lesbians due to backlash from certain cishet men who fetishise us and/or get unnecessarily angry when their favourite media includes lesbian characters.

Similarly, Kung Jin is confirmed to be gay. I think he is one of the best gay characters I’ve seen in media, because it’s not his whole character development; he just happens to be gay and I think that kind of representation is something we need more of for ALL members of the LGBTQ+ community. However games like Mortal Kombat tend to have a male-dominated fanbase, and many will see themselves in certain characters. I’ve seen many cisgender straight (usually homophobic) adult men treat female characters like objects (doesn’t help that they’re often hypersexualised, especially women of colour) and get extremely defensive if someone sees a female character as queer. Again, this could be why NRS changed Cassie in MK11; they could lose a lot of their male audience if those men could no longer ‘ship’ themselves with a confirmed lesbian, though this wouldn’t stop them fetishising her.

Speaking of Kung Jin, I love how he and Cassie are frienemies. They give off gay/lesbian hostility energy and I love it.

tldr; Because of misogyny, lesbians are fetishised, slandered and not seen as valid by straight men who want to gatekeep female characters, which is why lesbian rep is hard to find because companies want to keep their male audience. Therefore, it’s easier for them to make a sapphic character bi/pan/etc rather than a lesbian.

Other Things That Aren’t Totally Canon/Relevant but I Think Should Be Mentioned Anyways

This section is just gonna be various things that I think are amusing and will use to back up my headcanon.

First up, we got this MK11 Cassie skin:

Apologies for the atrocious quality, but this skin reminded me of the colours of the lesbian flag so I colour-picked them. This is proof that she’s a lesbian /j (Ik the colours are kinda off but I promise this is is meant to look like the sunset flag and not the lipstick flag. Pls do not use the lipstick flag, it’s transphobic)

Secondly, this line during one of Cassie’s intros with Sheeva (PS I am absolutely not implying that I ship them, I’m just pointing out this line and nothing more):

I know this is meant to be a pun, but it makes me cackle so much. ‘Girl Crush’ yes totally straight /s

I’ve reached the image limit unfortunately, but her and Frost’s fight in the MKX comics was insanely homoerotic, too.

I think that’s it so far, but I may add to this section in the future.

Conclusion

Phew, that was a LOT,,, Once again this is just for fun and I’m open to all other interpretations of Cassie and her character. I just like to analyse and relate myself to my favourite characters, lol.

I do hope that one day lesbian characters are more common in media like MK, but we still have a lot of work to do in order to make that happen.

Thank you so much for reading if you made it this far! <3

#mortal kombat #cassie cage #number 1 lesbian cassie theorist strikes again #lesbian #lgbtq #mortal kombat 11 #mortal kombat x #character analysis #lesbian coding #izzie’s rambles #sonya blade

65 notes · View notes

redheadbigshoes · 6 months

Note

🌻 here, why is that one anon commenting on an anon'd ask that doesn't even say what people or posts its talking about lol

Yeah it's messed up no matter what to fetishize black folk, do we even see the post? know who is being talked about? have any evidence of anything at all? they seem pretty eager to jump on a trans woman mentioned tangentially through an anon ask...

Anyway I wanted to weigh in on the gender segregated sports with adding that we hear so often from conservatives that big strong scary trans women will win all the womens sports but people don't know I guess that hormone therapy for transfems literally atrophies our muscles lol.

I used to play american football in jr high and high school and I worked out regularly in college and I've lost pretty much all of that strength over the last 5-6 years of taking t-blockers and estrogen. I lose arm wrestling matches with my butch lesbian cousin lol. Trans women on hormones have absolutely no difference to our body capabilities than a cis women. Which doesn't mean they'd be weaker than any given man or anything, given that anybody can still work out enough to build strength to compete in a sport, but my point is we hear about trans women having 'biological' advantages in sports so much cis people forget what the reality is for trans women who compete.

I honestly think it is sexist to segregate sports by gender, given that women can absolutely beat men in anything in the world, I know a cis women that is 2 feet taller than me who could be a basketball star over any man if she wanted to, but that brings up the fact that sports aren't totally fair even within gender segregation, since sports inherently favor people with specific body types. So if you wanted to be truly egalitarian you would segregate sports by weight classes, or something like that.

But you are right that in any co-ed sports in our current society there will always be misogyny, its the reason why we have a seperate chess league is because one of the sports with no body favoritism which anyone can pick up and learn and practice and plenty of women become amazing at chess, they are still systemically repressed from being able to compete and practice like their men peers do. They face increased scrutiny and barriers that men dont, which is why trans women competing in women's sports is important for us in this current setting. Women can compete in any sport that men can, but misogyny is prevalent in every sports space, as well as transmisogyny, so a trans woman barred from women's leagues has basically no fair and safe space to compete and enjoy a sport.

-🌻

It’s complicated whenever minorities are involved because the other anon (the one who made that comment about the first anon’s ask) didn’t have the context about the situation nor the specific post the person was talking about, so it really seems that they got defensive about it because it’s probably a sensitive topic for them.

Meanwhile, like you said, they were eager to jump on a trans woman without even knowing exactly what they were talking about.

About the gender segregation: people don’t even take 2 seconds to look up how there’s a general rule that trans women who compete in the women category (when it comes to sports) need to be on hormone blocks (idk if that’s the right term) for at least a year before competing from what I know.

Yeah like I said on the reblog: what’s most stopping from segregating everything into gender categories (not only sports) is misogyny. I think if we want to stop dividing things into gender categories the first thing to do is to think how it will be able to do that without women being negatively affected.

#stephanie answers #🌻 anon #long post

4 notes · View notes

ms-hells-bells · 1 year

Note

is it? most girls i know aren't interested in watching shows where they have to see other girls suffer and then thrive, and have to fight back. it's its own genre, but it's not something positive that will attract people to the sport. it's not fun to see girls just suffering and being mistreated. i've had a different experience. at the place i play, no one's been sexist to me, and most of the guys don't mind playing against me or any of the other girl (as far as i can see).

i've had some guys say sexist things on the internet, on chess fora or social media, but those are always just a loud minority that i can easily ignore.

the more girls we get into that sport, the less guys will make up the majority, the less power they'll feel they have. it's like that with every field and sport.

first of all, not you saying that the sexism isn't that bad because YOU have had good experiences. i grew up in a small town, i faced near zero sexual harassment until i moved away at 18, that doesn't mean my experience is the norm.

i think it's fine and great to have sexism free shows, i enjoy them too. the issue it's it's NOT sexism free. she was sent to a girls orphanage where they were made to take lithium style meds and take ladies etiquette classes, the janitor said girls don't play chess, there are no other girls playing chess at her level, it's all men, her adoptive mother is trapped as a housewife, takes anxiety meds and drinks a ton, and has to lie that her husband isn't missing, otherwise beth has to go back to the orphanage since lone women aren't allowed to have an adopted child, the article written about her states that there is heavy sexism in the world beth lives in, etc. etc. etc. and i'm only three episodes in. the male writers clearly realised that they can't do a historical series with a female lead without mentioning that the 60's were not good for women, but it's so surface level and lacking in innate understanding that it feels like an itch that you can't scratch. we as radfems can see all the little webs of misogyny, but no one in the show wants to address it, they go 'it's not a big deal, it doesn't affect me'.

i want girls to get into male dominated areas, but that doesn't work by lying. i'm not saying they have to suffer or watch suffering, we don't do that for programmes aimed at getting girls into stem. we say 'the field is built against you, but it's not your fault, it's society's, and you can do whatever men can do, you just need the confidence and support of women around you'. you seem to think that acknowledging sexism equals saying 'you can't be as good as men because that's just how the world is, you'll only have terrible experiences, you may as well not try'.

6 notes · View notes

the1975attheirverybest · 1 year

Note

not to come across as a performative leftist like you can't make these jokes aaahhh. obviously don't make jokes that actually hurt people but i think from a white cis male inherently those jokes come across as hurtful even when not intended to be. and while I think there could be a case for looking at the bigger picture also i think if you are hurting people you should be critisized and yes allow mistakes but when you are super privlaged and saying that while having made mistakes it comes across as saying you should ignore those doing harm. like a lot of the jokes are arguably not wholly harmful like i dont think he would have genuinely had anything to follow on from trans people in sport but when you are not trans (i am) it comes across as a bit tone deaf especially considering the state of politics in the US currently.

and like critisize the right and question the left but when you are privilaged and you do it by making racist jokes and nazi solutes it comes off across as genuinely hateful and like i know ur not and ur fans know but also do they? because you are a guy on stage who we don't know and when you don't adress anything (other than saying its a performance and a bit) or sit down with anyone other than white men to talk about it it comes off as hateful. and it's really hard to come across as critical when it seems genuine and you have to do the 'well but actually he is a good guy but he is pretending' like look at jshlatt because that's a 'bit' but its fucking harmful.

though i do think the idea that music and concerts should be more widely seen as an art space is interesting because if it was someone in a movie/theatre production doing a nazi solute you wouldnt hate the actor. but i think when thats not assumed because its a gig and you say risque shit and you dont necessary put the work in (like obviously he has morals and has been vocal about misogyny and racism previously but thats not always super apparent especially when they don't know you. and like when he attempted to coerce amelia into a kiss or he posts about hot women which comes across as weird and objectifying that is what people know him for to an extent (or at least my irls) its hard to explain to people that he's not like that.

as an aside I also think its interesting that he's gone super masculine 'I'm a man I'm a male I'm a he' after so many years of being disintrested and saying that he isn't interested in masculinty. like saying that being a leftist man is confusing despite saying previously in response to that sentiment 'just existing is confusing' so like is it all just a bit? we will never know and its both very cool and incredibly frustrating and i genuinely struggle to reach a solid conclusion and put it into definitive words

i think overall his performance is based on trust that he is not a bad person and while i believe that its difficult if you don't know him personally and as a white cis man he has privilege so he doesn't have to worry about the repercussions of his jokes

(sorry if this is all a bit much i have a lot of thoughts) - 🐸

Thanks for offering this alternative perspective! I really appreciate it! I am, myself a woman of color, but I’m a cis woman, so I can’t speak for the experiences of trans people and how they are affected, nor would I ever want to invalidate your feelings. If that’s how you feel, and you genuinely find fault in the things that he does, I think you are well within your right! And you can be a fan of someone AND also criticize them. Like I hate that a second of the fandom is like “if you’re saying this it means you don’t get the band” or whatever. That’s not my intention here at alllll.

The way I see it is this, and please please please feel free to disagree with me! I think disagreement is healthy and helpful when done respectfully and I don’t mind it at all.

1. Matty has a lot of blind spots. Because of the very things you mentioned. I don’t wanna get us off track by bringing up a separate issue, so I won’t get into all the debating, but, like, his stance on “nepo babies” is kinda faulty and a little dumb, lmao. But I think he thinks the way that he does because he grew up around art and artists so those things come intuitively to him. Also, just bring a white, male, wealthy person makes him inherently privileged so his stance may not always be representative of most peoples. So, I agree with you that, sometimes, the jokes, well intentioned though they may be, come off as tone deaf. Like, let’s take the Japanese accent nonsense as an example. Matty isn’t racist. We all know this. DH represents a lot of poc and artists of Asian descent and we know he supports them fully, etc. his music actively tries to point out the ways that society marginalizes black and queer people. We know all that. But, my thing is, would he make that joke in front of a Japanese person? As a white guy, would he feel comfortable in doing that accent and have it come off as “just a joke” if the person sitting across from him were Japanese? My guess is he’d say no. Well, then, that’s a good measure for a joke that shouldn’t be told. If you can’t say it to the people it’s about, then maybe stfu. Like, he just straight up fucked up there. There’s no beating around the bush. He shouldn’t say it was art or whatever. He should just say he’s sorry.

2. I think your point about trust, and about people who don’t know his heart reacting differently, is EXACTLY why Matty does what he does. Like, progressive politics and standing up for the rights of marginalized communities should not cancel human decency. We shouldn’t be in a position, as a society, where we have to even say “no, no, listen, guys! He’s a good human! He actually wrote songs like Jesus Christ 2005, and Love It If We Made It! He’s a good guy!” Like why is that even necessary. Why is not the default of society to say “I don’t hate you as a person and want to cancel you, but, look man: what you did/said is fucked up. And here’s why.” Like, his thing is based on trust because trust SHOULD BE the norm. (Obviously, don’t extend that trust to the Epsteins and Weinsteins and Cosbys of the world, they don’t deserve it). Like the norm should be saying “no. This is bad. Here’s why. Do better.” Without all the moral outrage and performant I’ve nonsense that we do around it, you know? I think that’s what frustrates Matty and that’s why he does that stuff. It’s also unfortunately why it doesn’t work. Cuz people who don’t know him ARENT trusting him. So it’s not gonna work. Perhaps the goal here is to point out the problem within our society. But I’m not sure that the people who hate him are seeing it that way. They don’t realize that they need to be more compassionate. They’re patting themselves on the back for “canceling” him. So…is his goal accomplished? Not really. Sadly.

3. I think it’s inherent in his job as an artist to criticize culture, to ask uncomfortable questions, and to observe and react to his surroundings. I don’t think he’s suddenly saying “I’m a man, I’m a make, I’m a he.” I think, as he has said in the past, he grew up privileged enough to be in a position where he didn’t HAVE to question his sexuality. Cuz he was surrounded by artists, queer people, liberal values, etc where progressive ideals were the norm. That’s not the experience of all of us. I think he took the fluidity of gender and masculinity for granted when he was younger cuz he’s been lucky enough not to have to assert his identity day in and day out cuz nobody is writing legislation to criminalize him. However, as he has talked about before, seeing his own gender react the way that it has post- Me Too, and seeing how the right has capitalized on men’s issues, and seeing how western societies here in the US and elsewhere have been rapidly regressing, he feels more aware of his position, wants to express the frustrations, and wants to think about the issue alongside the culture. I think that’s a function of maturing and growing up, and also just being alive in 2023. If you’re a thoughtful person who is concerned about the future of mankind, then you can’t really not get socio-political. How could he remain silent when all this shit is happening? The 1975 has never been the type to be silent. So, I don’t really think this is a recent thing nor do I think he’s asserting his own masculinity. I think he, like all of us, is going “what is the role of the leftist male in todays world? Especially if you reject performatism , fake wokeness, etc.” that’s a valid question that he has every right to ask!

Does that make sense? Just how I’m viewing it. But like I said, please do feel free to disagree with me!

#🐸anon

4 notes · View notes

8-evil-annoying-catboys · 2 years

Text

listen to me

sexism affects men, and this knowledge is at the core of intersectional feminism

sexism affects gay, bisexual, intersex, and trans men the most clearly, of course, because queer men are the easiest to compare to women, especially trans men who are frequently perceived as women, but wait, there’s more

sexism affects men of color

sexism affects physically disabled men

sexism affects mentally ill men

sexism affects poor men (especially if they are also a man of color)

sexism even affects cishet white abled perisex rich men, even if they do not recognise it, it does.

the main targets of sexism are women and queer people, we all know this. but being the MAIN targets does not make women the ONLY targets. sexism hurts EVERYONE, the effect is just different depending on who you are.

sexism tells men they aren’t allowed to wear skirts (this is slightly changing in more liberal areas, but overwhelmingly still holds outside of places like LA and San Francisco), they aren’t allowed to cry or express any feelings that aren’t anger and joy, they aren’t supposed to be “soft” or “feminine” in any way which encompasses just an entire range of things from talking about their feelings with other men to cooking and cleaning. they aren’t even supposed to hug their friends, lest they be considered gay. they can’t be sensitive without being ridiculed by their male peers and even some of their female peers, they’re expected to like sports or working out to some level or at least like video games especially FPS games and if they don’t like any of those things they’ll be ridiculed… and yes, all of this is toxic masculinity; but that is a part of sexism. and this isn’t even going into the different ways you’re treated if you’re perceived as a man and part of a minority.

if your feminism doesn’t recognise this and recognise the fact that in order to achieve equality for everyone, AND TO ACHIEVE A WORLD WHERE WOMEN (and people perceived as women) ARE SAFE AROUND MEN, this phenomenon has to stop… then your feminism is incomplete at best and reactionary (radfeminism) at worse, and you haven’t completely dismantled the misogyny society hammers into all of us.

#tumblr original post button is literally my diary <3

1 note · View note

nansheonearth · 2 years

Note

Hey could you explain a bit more about the "liberals just followed the wave and thought homophobes hated gay people because they are different and not because they are gay?" I don't really get it and I want to understand what you mean better. You don't have to answer if you don't want to tho

Hey! What I was saying in that post is that most people don't think critically about some of their positions. This is true for conservatives, leftists, and even radfems as well. People tend to just go with the party line of what is trending rather than thinking critically about the specific position. So in the liberal bundle of rights you got basic civil rights, saving rainforests, more immigration, abortion access, and gay rights to name a few. If you're a Dem or more specifically not a republican then you should just have these views. If you don't, you'll probably have some explaining to do for your liberal peers. And if you're not directly affected you're probably not going to think much about either side of the position. So hetero liberals who don't have a stake in gay rights (they have few or no gay friends or family) just support gay rights because everyone they know does. They just repeat buzzwords like 'NoH8' 'love is love' and characterize anyone who doesn't agree with their idea of the enemy which for liberals ends up being the gop. The catchall for a conservative, a republican, or anyone against a liberal when you're not quite sure why they're bad is bigot. And often they'll infantilize their opponents by claiming the reason they don't like whichever group is because they don't like someone who's different. And you can't really engage with any serious debate when you're ignoring homophobia, misogyny, islamophobia, etc to debate on a very general 'difference'.

I remember plenty of straight liberals calling gay people homophobes if we criticized the shortcomings of marriage equality. Most people, including most voters, aren't really interested in politics and social issues so they're not going to think about it in any way. Now that trans rights and sex work is in the liberal package, everyone who considers themselves liberal is just going to go along with it without thinking about it. You see it all the time when people call out completely false information. I'm just thinking about how liberals repeat that false life expectancy statistic for transwomen or they believe transwomen have no advantage over actual women in sports. They're just going with stuff they've heard without thinking about it. Common sense shows that transwomen are biologically advantaged in many sports and most nonfiction media representation of transwomen is of men over the supposed 35 year death sentence. It takes two seconds of critical thinking that most people aren't willing to give.

I'm just rambling and this is my opinion. I'm sure someone more into anthropology or modern politics has thought more about it.

#itsfaketbh #reply #radfem #ask #trans #liberal #libfem #gender #patriarchy #o

81 notes · View notes

soccerisincorrect · 3 years

Text

An insider’s evaluation of violence and sports culture

CW: mentions of domestic violence, misogyny, homophobia, racism, and suicide (in the links)

This post is something that’s been sitting in my drafts for awhile now and I’ve kinda struggled to get all my thoughts out but with Italy having won yesterday, I finally got everything I wanted to say out.

I’ve been thinking about how and why sports culture and violence are so intertwined. Domestic violence will increase post-match no matter the result. During the 2010 World Cup, domestic violence increased 27.7% when England won a match and increased 33.9% when they lost.

More specifically it's the drinking that leads to excessive violence but there are also larger issues of misogyny, homophobia, and racism that encompass the violence committed by fans. This is why it's so important for UEFA, FIFA etc. and other sports federations like the NFL and NHL to combat misogyny, racism, and homophobia. But, as we know, they often don’t because their target audience (cishet white men) aren't affected by these issues.

I’m so sick of the performative bullshit these federations do. It’s not a question of political correctness, it never has been. Their primary audience and fans are a breeding ground for dangerous thoughts and actions and honestly it's irresponsible for them to do nothing about it. When ignorance is allowed to exist and thrive in a community, marginalized groups are hurt. The rise in domestic violence rates, harassment and assault of poc, and the fear experienced by queer individuals are evidence of this.

As a queer Asian woman who is both a fan and ex-player, I’ve been on the receiving end of racism, misogyny, and homophobia. Being Asian, I’ve never quite felt like I belong, something further exacerbated by the fact that I am also female—and as a player, I’d often be the only poc on the field. At camps, I’d often overhear crude, snide ‘jokes’ about my eyes and queer slurs being thrown around as insults.

The simple act of excusing ‘jokes’ or ‘banter’ within sports allows more explicit racism, misogyny, and homophobia to exist and be excused—and by doing so, they make it difficult for members of these affected groups to be able to actively participate in sports without worrying about their safety. It’s not enough to simply say ‘kick racism out’ or release a bullshit statement about how you support lgbtq+ rights but not really, UEFA, FIFA, CONCACAF, the NHL, the NFL, the Olympics Committee and all others, NEED to take a hard stance against even the smallest of infractions. There’s nothing political about ensuring the safety of fans of color, women, and members of the LGBTQ+ community. Actions speak louder than words and right now, only empty, meaningless words are being thrown around.

More on sports-related domestic violence:

https://cep.lse.ac.uk/pubs/download/dp1781.pdf

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/jul/04/early-kick-offs-linked-to-more-alcohol-abuse-and-violence-in-the-home

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3712874/

More on homophobia in sports:

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2020/sep/24/despite-its-best-intentions-football-remains-unwelcoming-of-gay-fans

https://theathletic.com/2382097/2021/02/14/we-know-justin-fashanu-died-now-let-us-hear-how-he-lived/

https://news.sky.com/story/unnamed-premier-league-footballer-reveals-he-is-gay-in-letter-but-says-he-cant-go-public-12026295

#football #futbol #soccer #uefa euro 2020 #uefa euro 2021 #lgbtq #racism in football #misogyny in football #homophobia in football #england nt #italy nt

23 notes · View notes

ummadum · 4 years

Text

Why José Mourinho is problematic

I’m not a fan of José Mourinho and whilst I can come around to his tactics, I really doubt I will ever like him as a person.

Football is a very misogynistic, homophobic, racist and generally disrespectful place where people, especially powerful people, are not held accountable for their actions and words. This post is an accumulation of some of the very worrying things Jose has said and done over the years, that he has never acknowledged nor apologised for. I think that it’s important to keep these things in mind especially now, because the “José is a great person” idea is on the rise again. Whilst someone like Sergè, who also said some really disrespectful things, but someone who apologised for them and was willing to learn from his mistake, has his mistakes constantly brought up again, we are ignoring and burying all the things that are really wrong with our manager.

And if the club have asked Sergé to acknowledge and apologise for his statements (the right move), then we should do the same with Mourinho, who was much older when he said those things and had and has a lot more power and reach.

Homophobic

In 2012, as Real Madrid manager, Mourinho was caught on camera using “marocones” (which means faggot in English) to refer to the referees pre champion league match agains CSKA Moscow.

This is a link to the video [x] it’s about 20 seconds in.

The European Gay and Lesbian Sports Federation (EGLSF) released a statement [x] calling for action, which includes this:

Louise Englefield, Co-president of the EGLSF, an organisation representing over 17,000 lesbian gay bisexual and trans (LGBT) athletes across Europe, said: “Homophobia is unacceptable from anyone in football, much less from one of the game’s most senior figures. We are deeply disappointed that Mr Mourinho is casually using homophobic terms of abuse in his workplace. It is especially sad that these comments have been made during the International Football v Homophobia campaign week. This is a time during which the European football community should be joining forces to tackle discrimination and prejudice against lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people . As long-standing partners of the FARE network, we call on UEFA to take action and impose appropriate sanctions.”

And yet nothing ever happened, no apology, no acknowledgment and no sanctions.

Racist

Josés stance on racism is an interesting one, because he has publicly stated that he is opposed to direct racism, yet does apparently not believe that there is an underlying structural racism problem in the world and in football.

About coaching opportiunities for black coaches

In 2014, when questioned whether football needs a Rooney rule, which in the NFL ensures that ethnic minority candidates are adequately represented in the interview process for head coaching positions, he said this:

When asked if he felt football was doing enough to bring in black managers and whether he felt a quota should be introduced, Mourinho said: “There is no racism in football. If you are good, you are good. If you are good, you get the job.” “If you are good, you prove that you deserve the job. Football is not stupid to close the doors to top people. If you are top, you are top.” [x]

At the moment of publication of this article, only two of 92 clubs in the top four divisions in English football had a black manager. And only four black managers have ever worked in the premier league.

His statement warranted this lengthy response from the then FIFA Vice-President Jeffrey Webb. [x] Who points to a much larger problem of lack of enthnic people in power in football in general.

About Hair

“I want to push the young players on my team to have a proper haircut, not the Rastafarian or the others they have.”

I don't have the exact source but it’s mentioned in multiple “best of José quotes articles [x] [x]

Misogyny

Dr. Carniero

The most obvious place to start talking about Mourinho and his issues with misogyny is his treatment of Dr. Eva Carneiro who was the Chelsea first team doctor from 2009 until september 2015. During the first Game of the 15/16 season against Swansea Dr. Carneiro and chief physiotherapist Jon Fearn were called into the pitch by the referee to attend to Eden Hazard who had gone down. It was towards the end of the match and Chelsea had already had Courtois sent off and were therefore down to 9 men. Under the laws of the game, the medical staff is only allowed on the pitch if the referee summons them and once they have been summoned it's their duty to attend to the player. Mourinho took an issue with both of them rushing onto the field, because it left his team temporarily with 8 outfield players and so he allegedly called Dr. Carniero “filha da puta” which translates to “daughter of a bitch/whore”. He says he didn’t use the female version, but that he said “filho da puta” and that “swearing is a part of football”. This then led to a lot of discourse about whether it was actually abusive language towards a woman or not.

The more damning thing happened later in the press conference.

“I wasn't happy with my medical staff because even if you are a medical doctor or secretary on the bench, you have to understand the game.If you go to the pitch to assist a player, then you must be sure that a player has a serious problem. I was sure that Eden didn't have a serious problem. He had a knock and was very tired.My medical department left me with eight fit outfield players in a counter attack after a set piece and we were worried we didn't have enough players left.”

“You have to understand the game”, especially when aimed at a woman already comes with enough negative and misogynistic connotations. And there was no lack of “understanding of the game” in this instance, it was their duty to attend to the player according to the rules. Maybe he should have had a word with Eden Hazard about not feigning injuries instead.

But this is not where this ends. Following this incidence, Fearn (a Man) was removed from first team matches and Dr. Carniero was removed from all first team duties such as training sessions, matches and even entering the team hotel. And as Duncan Castles, one of Josés mouthpieces in the british press then reported:

Mourinho is said to have held reservations about Carneiro’s role within the first-team squad since at least last year. While there is no question about her professional abilities, the Portuguese coach was concerned that the dressing room dynamic was affected by the presence of a female. According to a source, some players had expressed misgivings to the coaching staff about the set-up, arguing that it forced them to alter their usual behavior in a team environment. [x]

The same women that had worked with Chelsea's first team for 6 years and under 4 different managers just suddenly became a problem with Josés arrival. Maybe there were some players that complained about her, but José should have told them to get over it. Sadly, I can’t link you to the original source of these quotes because the website does not exist anymore but here are some more articles referring to the same quotes. [x] [x]

Her dismissal went to court and she and Chelsea ended up settling the case.

This whole thing ties into the larger issue of misogyny in football, this is an interesting article about how 2/3 s of the women in football face sexist discrimination. [x]

Montse Benitez

Rafael Benitez’ wife Montse Benitez made a joke, in 2015, about Rafa cleaning up Josés messes because Rafa just got the Real Madrid Job and she said “we tidy up his messes”, but afterwards added that it was understandable because there are only so many top clubs out there.

The first part of his response is very much ok:

“The lady is a bit confused, with all respect. The only club where her husband [directly] replaced me was at Inter Milan, where in six months he destroyed the best team in Europe at the time.”

The second part however wasn’t:

“And for her to think about me and to speak about me, I think she needs to occupy her time — and if she takes care of her husband’s diet, she will have less time to speak about me.”

He told her to get back into the kitchen and that is such a backwards thing to say to women. [x]

Generally Women

In 2013, whilst complaining about Arsenal players complaining to the officials he said

“ you know they like to cry” and then added “Football is for men, or for women with fantastic attitude.”

José mourinho used being a woman as an insult to emasculate Arsenal players. Which is incredibly sexist.

His post match tirade also includes some lovely xenophobia for good measure, which is a bit hypocritical coming from José. (I want to remind all Spurs fans that there was massive outrage after the United match, when similar criticism was aimed at Lamela)

"You know, they like to cry," Mourinho said. "That's tradition. But I prefer to say, and I was telling it to the fourth official, that English people – Frank Lampard, for example – would never provoke a situation like that. "Players from other countries, especially some countries, have that in their blood. So, if there is contact or an opponent is aggressive, they don't keep going. But this is English football. Foreign players are bringing lots of good things. They come here because they are talented. But I prefer English blood in football. English blood in this situation is: 'Come on, let's go.' Mikel's tackle is hard and aggressive but football is for men or for women with fantastic attitude. It's true."

[x]

Generally problematic things he has said

Him calling Wenger a voyeur is not included but he did end up actually apologising for that.

2006: "Sometimes you see beautiful people with no brains. Sometimes you have ugly people who are intelligent, like scientists," [x]

Me being a scientist probably makes me even more annoyed with this statement, but honestly can we get rid of this stupid idea.

2005: “Ricardo Carvalho seems to have problems understanding things, maybe he should have an IQ test, or go to a mental hospital or something.” [x]

Statements against him that he took to court

A journalist for spanish newspaper Marca wrote about José during his time at chelsea:

“the type of person who would flee after knocking someone down"

A letter from Mourinho's lawyers then read:

"In our eyes this phrase is... degrading and was used in a manner which was completely unnecessary in the critique."

Chelsea also took action against a former Barcelona director after he posted the following on twitter during a match against Manchester City.

"It's lamentable the psychopath celebrating goals as if he was a player."

[x]

Which is utterly ironic when taking all the things he has said about others into account.

A lot of these quotes are older, but judging from his recent choice of words, the constant emasculation of his players also shown in a documentary meant to make him look good, he might not be saying these things publicly anymore but the subtext and undertones still remain, therefore not really making it look like he has learned from his past mistakes and has become a better person in the slightest. Also, these quotes are just the tip of the iceberg of what kind of a human being José Mourinho really is. He is an incredibly manipulative individual that chooses all of his words, especially those to the press, really carefully and if these quotes are things that he chose to say deliberately, then I’m worried about what other opinions he has that he does not voice to the public. But if someone treats him like he does others he has an issue with it.

He can be an interesting individual to watch and his amount of arrogance can be fairly entertaining, but his general lack of respect for his players and staff shouldn't be overlooked especially in a world which is trying to move towards the future. And a footballing world at least saying that they are trying to remove discrimination from the game.

I don’t want him to be sacked, but I would really like to remind people of the kind of person he is and for him to acknowledge these statements and apologise for it. But because this is football and Agueros actions with the lines-woman were dismissed because he is “a good person” I doubt that that will ever happen.

#jose mourinho #spurs #my dislike for this man is rooted in real life issues #just because he is nice to your fave does not mean that he is a good person #can we please just not rewrite history and forget about his problematic past when he has showed zero signs of having learnt #Yes he says some funny things #but he also says some really really bad things that shouldn't be forgotten!

26 notes · View notes

alluringoneirataxia · 4 years

Photo

Long Winding Road Stay Strapped My Dude

By: Astoria Cathryn Andromeda

Alrighty, this is a long one boys. So I touched briefly on this in my Welcome to Literally Everything post. No worries I'll recap you, so you don't have to switch back and forth. I just diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, and then ADHD when I was 18 years old, and even then I had to fight for it after countless hours of research. See, there seems to be a wee bit of misogyny in the neurodiverse diagnoses. When I say a wee bit, I mean that scientists used to think that only boy could be autistic or ADHD. They only studied autism in males. Fortunately, nowadays we know that girls can be autistic and/or ADHD, but we present the traits differently than boys, and a lot of our traits are played off due to gender roles in society. For example, being overly talkative in girls is called chatty, whereas boys who can't sit still are sent off for testing immediately. This also causes problems for the boys, because little Johnny gets put on Adderall at the ripe age of 6 years old, just because he can't sit still for 8 hours straight, which by the way should not be expected of any elementary school kid, By the time, he's 25 he's 1) completely dependent on amphetamines 2) his body will stop producing dopamine due to being on the medication for so long. Nicht Gut. Generally, boys who are on the spectrum get picked out earlier due to late speaking, or lack of social skills. This is the one thing that girls happen to do better than boys. Girls are good at masking, which is basically taking social traits, phrases, personalities, demeanor, and copying them. In public, they put on a mask and at home, they have a meltdown. Girls are still not picked up as being on the spectrum, because shyness is called being 'ladylike' and 'dainty', and having a meltdown is just because :( girls are oh-so emotional, boohoo. Anyways tons of women do not get diagnosed with autism until they are well into their adulthood, I actually can be considered lucky to have technically still been a teenager when we finally got all the pieces together.

Alright, let's start with I don't know me as a baby. I did not speak until I was 2 years old, and then it was immediately full sentences from then on. I didn't do the babbling thing, which I don't know how impactful that really is to the topic. I was a very shy little girl. I was teeny tiny, we didn't know I if I was going to make it to 5 feet tall until I had a big growth spurt in 7th grade. I am 5'2 now and definitely done growing in case you were wondering, so not that short anymore. I did not like talking to adults, especially strangers, especially men. I did not look anyone in the face, and I will always hide behind my parent's legs when they would try to introduce me to people. I am an only child, and I spent a lot of time entertaining myself. I always had seasonal affective disorder, where my grades would dip in the winter. My parents knew I had a timer, they had 45 minutes from the moment they stepped into a restaurant before I would start breaking down. If I got off schedule as a toddler in any form, it was a catastrophe. Or this is what my parents and family tell me. I didn't really notice. I did not like being out in public a lot, I was a very picky eater, and I was extremely hyper. I was a very eccentric child, I only had 1-2 close friends and they were always a very well-liked outgoing girl who I just followed around. Looking back, I don't know how we missed it. I was shy because I didn't understand how social interactions worked, I was anxious about it because I didn't understand, I had sensory overloads, routines, and a very bland diet with a safe food which was ketchup. I put that shit on literally everything, eas, apples, mac and cheese, pizza, all meat, anything something forced me to eat that I did not like. But because I could sit still in class, and because I could zone out and daydream all day through school and still make A's nobody ever flagged me for anything and how I was supposed to know that not everybody just copied other people, scripted things before they talked, and could never pay attention. My mom always required me to be in a sport, and I was a gymnast and a swimmer for a long time, two very high-intensity sports, to help lower my energy levels, and because my mom has mild depression and she knows that exercise does help. Skip to middle school, my mom tells me I'm being bullied at church. It's not that I wasn't observing my surroundings I knew I was being excluded, but I didn't understand vindictive behavior, I thought it was my fault. I had zero friends in 8th grade until I sat down next to a random acqutaince I had gone to school with since I was 4 and the same gymnastics place. Then we were immediately attached at the hip after that. She is my best friend due this day and definitely got me through high school. Led me through so many social situations without either of us knowing. I had a very close friendgroup in highschool, all of them were on the drumline which I met through my best friend, and my first boyfriend was my best friend's neighbor. I ended up playing bass guitar for my high school's indoor drumline, and it was the best experience ever. I love my friends, but I had really bad depression when I was 15-now:) jk It's better. I didn't really realize I was depressed, I just didn't want to go to school, or swim practice, or do anything so of course, my mom noticed, and then once it was pointed out to me it got worse. My severe anxiety spiraled with my depression. Senior year of high school, my boyfriend and I were like toxic star crossed lovers, hurting each other over and over again without meaning to. My friends and I were self harming, all my close friends gad some demon going on. I finally decided to try therapy again after the disaster of being forced to go when I was 15 and the lady told me I wasn't depressed because I had a boyfriend and good grades. It helped a bit, I was able to get my panic attacks under control. Then I went away to college and stayed dating my senior high school boyfriend, we were just up and down as always, but with slightly better communication. My freshman year of college I joined a fraternity, a research lab, and my first hs boyfriend/ex/best friend and I went to a Christian campus place. By second semester, I had a lot of people who knew me and talked to me, but I didn't have any close friends, and even less close friends who were girls. All my close friends who were girls were at another college. My parents were worried about me, so they made me rush a sorority, which I knew was never my scene, but my parents made me join and I found a few girls I liked. Soon I was going to 6 classes, fraternity chapter, research lab meetings, christain crash group meetings, soriorty pledge meetings all on every Tuesday. I was different person at each of these events and wore a different mask. I was having what I know now were autistic burnout meltdowns every single day on the phone in my crusty dorm's stairwell. It was not cute. His mental health had always been bad too. Finally I decide I need to try a psychatrist and go back to therapy, and then he broke up with me. Then I made my first close friend, a guy who was in 3 of classes, and I took him to my fraternity's formal, and then coronavirus happened. Rona kinda saved my grades, and mental health by sending us home event though it did suck. I got on anti-anxiety meds and things went up, but I was still having what I thought were panic attacks, they were austistic meltdowns. My psychiatrist, he's kinda an asshole, he diagnosed me with Obessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. I'll insert definition here: (OCPD) is a personality disorder that's characterized by extreme perfectionism, order, and neatness. People with OCPD will also feel a severe need to impose their own standards on their outside environment.> Basically hr told me I had rules for everything like how everyone drives on the right side of the road, but nobodythinks about it andwhen I broke one of my rules I got depressed, and when wasn't perfect I got depressed, and when I made an A I was relieved not proud. The diagnosis seemed to fit really well, and my therapist and I started working finding my rules, and getting rid of the bad ones, and making the others less harsh. I had thought every once and in a while in my life when I was really upset, what if I'm on the spectrum, because I just felt so hopeless for social interactions and I didn't understand. I always felt like I was a very specific person, but after the ocpd I started thinking more and more, and I saw a tik tok of a girl with lae diagnosed autism basically describing me and ranting about the misogyny. I did more research and I decide, yea I'mm gonna bring it up to mypsychatrist well he's a dick, so he was like um you don't act like sheldon cooper from the Big Bang theory,and I was like wellI just I have always thought I might have adhd like be neureodiverse, and he was like your grade point average in hs was a 97.8%, you're not adhd. I immediately cried, because I can't handle when anyone says anything in a even a slightest stringent tone. I'm baby, I know lmao. It made me angry though because I felt like he just brushed away all of my struggles I had in my whole life. I spent hours researching and typed up a 47 page document on evidence for why I was on the spectrum, and had my parents help will some of checklists to make sure I was getting outside perspectives. I rally my parents to be my back up and next psychiatrist appointment we actually talk about it and he asked my parents questions about when I was young and such and finally he was okay you're on the spectrum. I felt so validated and like I could start being myself. I slowly got more and more confident, changed my style of clothing, and researched more about adhd pushed to be tested, and oh look at that I also have ADHD. So basically discourse: "I feel like as a child I coded a machine to do life for me so I didn’t get bothered except I didn’t know about the machine I thought i was the machine and now I’ve become self aware and I have to learn how to read the code and rewrite the code because it’s dysfunctional because I’m not functioning well as a human being. I was really shy as a child. I would turn beat red when people talked to me or looked at me so I think I started cookie cutting situations and using them over and over again because they worked until I accidentally hard wired these expansion rules and expectations for myself. I didn’t may attention is class ever I just day dreamed and if I got good grades i wouldn’t be bothered i could just stay in my head and if I did my sport well my parents didn’t bother me. I was never asked if I did my homework I just did it so I wouldn’t be asked and have to deal with that situation. I would cookie cutter situations in class that would draw the least attention to myself.

I feel like i don’t have friends I just fulfill the expectation like a side quest on video games" I wrote this down pre autism confirmation when i just thought I had ocpd. Now I don't directly identify with ocpd, but I definitely think I developed that personality disorder a bit from living with undiagnosed autism. I am linking below the very informative Tik Toks by the lovely Paige on autism in girls. The imposter syndrome one really hit home. I had had so many panic attacks about thinking I tricked people into being my friend, or thinking I was smart.

I highly suggest watching these short tik toks, you'll definitely learn something

https://vm.tiktok.com/wVvcYA/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wqRRUf/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wnqhvX/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wqeyYg/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wnoE7u/

https://vm.tiktok.com/Kas6gB/

https://vm.tiktok.com/owM9hs/

Imposter syndrome

I am also linking an article about Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory and Autism that explains why my psychiatrist was wrong, and also I am a girl and the spectrum is called a spectrum because it's a fucking spectrum no two autistic people are exactly the same it's like a color wheel.

http://www.autismsupportnetwork.com/news/problem-sheldon-cooper-and-cute-autism-387783

Here is a fun comic about the spectrum and how to view it.

https://the-art-of-autism.com/understanding-the-spectrum-a-comic-strip-explanation/

I am still learning about myself, and how to be me, and how to be myself but without breaking bad social rules. It's quite humorous though because I'll learn something is related to autism and I'm like oh shit again, like still, like, we're still discovering things.

"Tu ne me manques pas"

Bis später,

Astoria.

#asd #autisminwomen #autism #actuallyautistic #aspie #aspie memes

13 notes · View notes