#ive been so good these past few months

[loopnoid]

by the way, friendly reminder that i have a ko-fi! i don't think i've posted about this on tumblr before, but if you tip me USD$10 or more, you'll get a little personalized thank-you sketch :-)

#most of the stuff ive been posting this past week are thank you sketches hehe #just tell me something you like/a blorbo/etc and ill make something! its good if youd like a drawing but nothing so fancy as a full comm #im thankfully in a much better place financially than last month so i dont have to like beg for food money at the end of the month #however every cent is still very appreciated. the economic situation here is still very dire lmao so there are things that still fall #outside my monthly budget that i'd really find useful! specially since i'd like to work on a few pieces before fully opening comms again

[sugarsnappeases]

thank you for the tag @fxreflyes this is so cute, except the format is trying to hinder my propensity to ramble, so i’ve rectified this in the tags lmao

i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / i am an only child

no pressure tags for @static-radio-ao3 @inevitablestars @itsjaywalkers @carniferous @orbitfalls @transsexualpriest @futurequibblerjournalist <333

#i'm like 5'7 i think. fun fact i used to wear glasses when i was like 11 bc all my friends were getting glasses and i wanted some too so i #lied to my optician. lol good times. don't actually need glasses tho soooo. #this is me coming out as a natural blonde guys….. like my hair hasn’t been blonde in a good year or so and it hasn’t been my natural blonde #in like three/four years but still in my heart of hearts i identify as a blonde. like i get confused when people don't count me as one #i have my ears and nose pierced and i would love a tattoo but unfortunately i have both a fear of needles and commitment issues so. #not sure if that’ll ever happen… would be very hot and sexy tho. also i'm one of those freaks with green eyes lol it's appaza quite rare #my hair is currently like dark dark brown… have been getting the itch to dye it again tho like a kinda reddish colour idk yet we’ll see #i had braces for AAGES. i have freckles in the summer and i paint my nails whenever i remember to. rn they’re a very chipped lilac colour #i think i have a resting bitch face but i can never tell tbf like it might be more of a resting 'dead to the world' face lmao #okay technically i don’t play an instrument anymore! but in the past i’ve dabbled with the cello the oboe and the xylophone. singing too #spanish and italian baybee although ig if this means like fluently then that’s not me but this is literally my degree it’s my whole brand #yes i like to read but also the only things ive read in like the last few months have been either books in spanish/italian for my degree #literary criticism for said span/ital books and… fanfic. so. also i like writing but it's my worst enemy rn the thoughts aren't working :( #i have many best friends that i’ve known for years!!!! in fact i've known some of my friends for like my entire life it's very cute #okay sorry for rambling i can never help myself and i also literally could go on icl like there was Some restraint applied here #kara lore #bc there's quite a lot of it in this one lol #tag games

[alchemicaladarna]

So, I don't know how many people watched Bojack Horseman, but something about the last three. BBH streams kind of remind me of the show? Not really the plot but more like the structure of the season finales.

So seasons 1-5 of Bojack Horseman had 12 episodes and instead of the season finale, fans usually dreaded episode 11 (sometimes the end of 10 too) because that was when all the shit went down. Like episode 11 was the climax of the season. Episode twelves were good too, but they serve as more of like breather episodes where you'll check in with different characters and kind of set up the plot of next season.

My point is the last three streams have really felt like the last three episodes (10-12) in a season finale of a Bojack Horseman show.

Episode 10- angsty at the end (sets up the next day's angst with Tallulah and Pomme)

Episode 11- shit gets real (the talk about death and grieving with Richas, Em, and Dapper- and Bad finally telling the truth abt the soul vultures and what felt like a goodbye)

Episode 12- a pleasant day of reprieve (Bad just builds his house with his children how fitting is it that the eggs he talked to the past 3 days are there to build with him today without the doomer ending.) It was just such a nice day and u can argue that the angst of today was the day itself. That today was probably the season finale before the restart. The Last Good Day.

#qsmp #qsmp badboyhalo #idk if this is anything but god i love that show so much #and ive been loving the past few bbh streams as well #maybe its because it really does feel like a season finale the conclusion of this 5 month arc #but it's been so good #just goes to show how grief and death is still all about love #the past three days have been about love

[cynicallyneutral]

how do u like ur toast? i’m bored as hell and will do literally anything but draw. lemme know which and why, and what do u put on it (if u do)

#honestly i will literally do anything but draw #these past few months ive been doing…idk if u can like #call it self care or what #but i been tryna eat a lil better and move a lot more #so i been playing basketball #not like a match or whatever bc idk shit #and then lifting weights and running #bro i swear to god i have weights in my room now #kirishima are u proud of me #ive also been looking to join some kickboxing classes #literally doing anything BUT draw #HAAHHAHSHHFHFH #but HEY!!! im stronger than before now #and i wanna learn how to punch a bitch and make it hurt yanno #and hopefully one day i will be able to lift my weight and more #god i rly do wanna go back to drawing tho #but i do wanna keep on playing bball #and still lift weights #and theres just so little time like why do i have to choose like this #i also wanna be good at dancing #listen theres just so much i wanna do now #i miss drawing #this looks like an ad ngl

[perfectly-clear-from-here]

FINALLY started replying to new comments on inhaler (after literally 200 days-) and firstly. you lot are sweet as jam oh mygod. secondly WHY IS THE WORLD SUDDENLY SO MUCH BRIGHTER??

#seriously ive been a miserable bastard for the past month but everyones wee comments have been like literal sunshine omg #i will never understand why u lot are so lovely #ive been falling behind with inhaler majorly the past few months cause my mental health has been. yeah not very good. #but hopefully ill be making a comeback soon and hopefully with a new chapter!! #when all else fails. atleast ive got this wee corner of the internet #mwah #oversharing and its bitter aftertaste

[gobstoppr]

and btw im in my hater arc rn. as time goes on the more i find a lot of 'fandom' stuff insufferable (i like art n stuff. just the way that fandom refits every media to fit a single mold and set of boring archetypes is exhausting.)

i just get really easily annoyed lately. and have been unfollowing people on a whim a lot. its not personal i promise

#fandom culture has made me actively dislike shit i was fixated on a year ago. looking at your ninja turtles #its not even like what they were doing were particularly offensive it was just exhaustingly boring #im sorry i just really dont care about ur 2 million fics about leo being a sadboy. or one million seperated aus. #theres definetly a part of the whole situation in general which has been me coming to terms with my own internalized misogny #actively re-examining my tendencys to gravity towards male characters #idk maybe its making me dislike art more. but idk. ive always analyzed why i react certain ways to certain things. this isnt new for me #anywaays. i had been following a bunch of ninja turtle blogs and they sorta kept messing around with shows like ninjago too #and at some point i was just like. i dont know if these shows are actually that good guys. i think youjust like shows for little boys #and fandoms tend to shaft female chars so it sure helps that their casts are 98% male . #maybe theyre not your blorbo maybe theyre just Guy McAverageMan. thats not inherently bad but you have to consider it. #guys rottmnt is isnt even that good . its not that good ok. its alright/pretty good. and the movie does a few neat things #i feel like ive become one of those people that turn 18 and then immediately go 'minors dni'. im not there yet but i just. #we're watching kids shows. its ok . you can say it. #you may have noticed ive been reblogging a lot of dungeon meshi stuff. i read it all over the past week. #but here's the thing. i thought it was mid/good for like 70% of it. #i think its got some really really cool worldbuilding ideas and stuff #but i think a lot of the writing was sorta. uninteresting to me. #my discord friends have been raving over izutsumi for months. #but i found her presence in the story to be weird and underdeveloped. she felt out of place and her introduction felt clumsy #i felt when the story was ramping up the manga got a lot better. because again theres some rlly cool ideas at play #all the shit with the lion? incredible. the way all the infighting led to more problems bc the elves refuse to explain anything? rlly good. #marcille landing in power? reallly good shit. (i still thought it was a lil undercooked still tho) #i cant stop thinking about laios in that climax scene. i think he shouldve been feral a lot more often #uhh. i got distracted. fandom bad and annoying. #saw a post talking about marcille realizing izutsumi is only 17 and then describing how 'omg shes a mom now' and i wanted to throw up #im done. i swear. im done talking for real. aagh #text

[big8cola]

Hi

#✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️not really been posting much art recently tbh ive kinda been veering away from doing fanart the last few months #I saw spiderverse i thought it was really good though i found the pacing was kindof weird. Gwen was literally the deutragonist of that movi #And i see like no fan content of her.. at least in comparison to other characters...😭 brraks my heart #I have prom tomorrow☝️ killing myself #I started listening to that percy jackson podcast. Pretty ok even though they mention h*rry potter like twice per episode... School just go #out for me so ive mostly been spending my time listening to that and playing papas freezeria... Really awesome #Next year is my last year of hs tbh idk what im doing post secondary i think i might go live with my aunt in bc for a tear...ik i dont wann #stay where i live rn #Was abt to dox myself LOL even though id probably be one of three total tumblr users from where i live😭 #Life is pretty good atm... Not much to complain abt honestly #Summer is going to cause a major metaphorical stock market crash in my intake of ice coffee drinks which is a little heartbreaking #Honestly this past year has been one of my best..ive made alot of good friends and ive started painting and bouldering... Idk #Lowkey thinking about deleting or retiring this account. I think it does more harm than good to me sometimes

[tennessoui]

i think it would be really fun (for me) (sorry) to do like. some sort of holiday fic giveaway of a chapter/oneshot of one of my fics/aus set during the holiday season?

(i know i know it's the first day of autumn in america time, but look these things take time ok)

but like a giveaway where people vote on which of my fics/aus they want to see a holiday installment for (like KUWSK, PBATMB, sugar daddy anakin, crossed the stars to be lovers au, smithsonian au, king obi-wan au, regency au, use my body to break your fall, t&t au, etc etc etc)

but like what would be the best way to even vote. tumblr ask??? google form (this is my work brain)?? tumblr reply?? smoke signals??? thoughts and prayers?? ehhheuuahhheuhh??

#asks #well not an ask #but it's me asking you #idk ive felt really out of it these past few months #and like last holiday season (october-after my birthday in january thank you) #so it'd be nice to do something like this to make me feel like it's happening :') #because october through january is really my favorite season/s #but ive been so out of it im worried it'll just pass me by like it sorta did last year??? #so if i could do something like this i think i would really enjoy it :D #im leaning towards a google form but i don't want people voting more than once #but i also dont want to make people submit their emails because pls #i would never #but i would probably want to get it out there in the next week and then close it second week of october or so #so i can actually work on a good fic in that au #that isn't just 1k rushed on tumblr or something yall deserve better than that #and i want to have fun #obikin

[saddlepunk]

can literally only swing an apartment w another person and my bf is on the brink of backing out so i have to figure out what the hell is goin on there but god... god!!! i just want to escape!!! i was so goddamn close and now im being knocked all the way back!!! i dont even know where to /start/ looking for a new place to live or people to live with i just. what the fuck is wrong with me and why does this keep happening.

#its gotta be a me thing #which is why im probably gonna just sign up for one of those random roomie sites and inflict myself on a stranger #bc if i move in w anyone i know and it turns out im the thing that keeps ruining everyones lives #i dont wanna fuck up the few scraps of good ive got going for me #these past few months have just been a lot of me realizing how fucked ive been and how deep i keep digging #and i do not know how to get out of it anymore i dont fucking know anybody my viable support system is zero #too much of a coward to kill myself too terrified of the unknown to run away too convinced of my own stupid burden curse to accept help #what the fuck do i do here just #sit and shiver until my heart gives out i guess #maybe this will be it. maybe if move in day comes and passes and im still at home ill just kill myself #it might be easier then like. its obvious im not getting out any other way #so that might as well be it

[friendlifyre]

i think ive finally hit that point where ive accepted that i need to Allow myself to enjoy genshin more casually otherwise it wont be long before i stop enjoying it altogether

#personal #its taken so long bc when i started the game i skipped through a lot of sidequests just to get the rewards/whatever they unlock #and later on i regretted it bc i was retroactively interested in lore and there was nothing left to do so wished id taken my time w those #and its rly that same reason i held off on doing a ton of content these past few months #telling myself i shouldnt do them until i had the time and attention span to rly absorb everything #but its rly time i let myself just go for it and enjoy what i Want to enjoy and not dwell too much on what i need to skip to achieve that #not just bc i dont think i'll ever go back to being as hyperfixated on genshin as ive been before (and therefore wont regret it) #but also because i dont really... want to #im at a slowly turning point in my life where i want to do other things with it too #and if i want to make room for those other things #i have to accept that i'll never again be one of those players who take the time to fully consume 100% of the content this game puts out #and thats Good #and i wish id realized sooner skgkslg #i rly have a bad tendency to put arbitrary restrictions on myself and forget why i put them there in the first place #like i played sm of totk with a 'no teleporting' rule bc i wanted to rly gove myself an excuse to explore #and it wasnt until recently that i realized id gotten to a point where it was taking away from my enjoyment more than adding to it #and so that it was ok to just discard that rule atp #i need to try being more conscious of that in general bc im realizing its hindering me in weird places irl too

[aquietanarchy]

I love you random.org, I love you oblique strategies, I love you websites like seventhsanctum and springhole, I love you procedural generation, I love you fractal art, I love you dice, I love you tarot, I love collaborating with the random chaos of the universe to create meaning!!

#creativity #oblique strategies #random generators #im bad at decisions! but im good at building algorithms and refining + editing the outputs #like. ive been using random.org to help me choose outfits since i was a teen! i have an algorithm for clothes based on season and weather #and ive been editing it as i need to #i have a doc thats basically an art randomizer. i make rolls for subject matter size and media. it's weighted based on my interests #and im never beholden to the results of the random rolls it just gets my brain started #(like if i *know* i want to push something specifically i wont roll for it. ive been focusing on digital art lately because i really want to #nail down my workflow for that) #coming clean! i used to use colormind.io to give me random limited color palettes for digital art #and i learned so much about what colors i like to use so over the past few months ive been developing my Own color palette #i have 10 colors now that i love and i make random rolls to narrow it down to 5 for any given piece #maybe you neurotypicals out there can just Make A Decision but thats not me #anyways. this post generated because the aipocalypse has brought up a ton of ableist rhetoric in the art community 🙃 #and for a moment there i was bogged down by the imposter syndrome. but then i had a Think #and decided i would rather Celebrate the way my mind works instead of hiding in shame because i dont work the way people think it Should #this is all so tied up in the autism for me #anyways. i love you diffusion models #tag rant #if you actually read all that um. i want to give you a prize or somethin lol #yarrow speaks into the void

[sanguith]

i'm glad i decided to try out a ketosis diet again (aka changing my metabolism to basically only use ketone bodies made from fatty acids for energy by reducing carb intake to max 20g/day) for a few weeks because it was a neat experiment but i'm also glad I decided to stop because now i get to enjoy life's greatest fucking simplest yet finest delicacy: mashed potatoes/sweet potatoes with melted butter and salt. i cannot understand how i could live without that. just. vegetables. keto has opened my eyes to new ways to cook foods and experiment with ingredients but i don't think i can live without carbs. i doubt that the majority of people could. also have you any idea how much good simple near-zero effort food there is out there like holy gosh darn in heaven. i don't have to spend hours cooking something to have a nice meal

#food mention #diets #actually anything carb with butter and salt. how can it be so good. call me a lazy goob but i once just microwaved corn and butter #added salt. and it was the most delicious fuckin thing ive ever eaten #i've done low-carb in the past and tried keto a few times and always it felt so great after the keto flu disappeared after a few days #but this time the keto flu did not go away. i felt so weak and awful but at the same time i had less brain fog. and never felt hungry. #but it was werid. i think it might have been because i've been kinda high carb for the last few years and the change was so strong & sudden #also electrolyte imbalances can happen on keto if you're not careful. it's complex. #anyway it got me to eat a bit healthier like (almost) completely avoiding processed foods and unnaturally high sugary stuff #which i just want to generally avoid for personal health reasons which is a whole can of worms but i just dont want to overindulge #sure i can eat an entire bag of candies or chips in an evening if i feel like it but I *feel* my body just being like “nooo” and sure enoug #the next morning i do feel a little bit extra like shit #and another thing: i think i benefit from abrupt diet changes now and then. it feels natural in a way. ye olde scavenger hunter genetics #ya know. our nomadic ancestors would probably have to do that a lot when things weren't year-round available #sometimes only meat for months on end in cold seasons/areas #sometimes basically only plants and nuts roots and seeds and stuff #it's actually remarkable how human metabolism can adapt so much depending on what's available to eat #sometimes fasting for days when food was just nowhere to be found. #i'm not saying “stress your metabolic system it's good for you'” (it probably isnt) just idk. mixing it up a bit at least works for me #btw disclaimer i HATE the whole thing about diet-pressuring and some people claiming that certain diets will solve everything #it doesn't solve all health problems magically. ”"”superfoods“”“ are not a 100% faultless scientifically proven thing. #shit like ''the paleo diet is the number one key to optimal health without medications!!'' no. shut. #on the other hand i do believe diets can help a bit like a nudge. it's just one factor out of many that affects how we feel #ANYWAY conclusion: eat what you want. do what feels right for you. find your own ways to make the food you eat help your health a bit #or don't! be yourself! love yourself! #the chosen method is gonna be different for everybody #but from now on im gonna try and eat as close to natural unprocessed foods as I can in this day and age. it feels right for me somehow. #i think *my* preferred method/diet whatever is to mainly eat natural unprocessed foods and to mix it up a bit now and then with change #for that sweet ''METABOLIC ADAPTATION'' perk that feels good for me #(why did this post become so long. nobody cares. anyway i don't care if nobody cares. i care. *I* care!!! wooopp)

[semiotomatics]

ever since becoming more aware of my pms symptoms it feels like theyve become so much more obvious. im sick rn so im already in a bit of a bad mood, but earlier today its like a switch flipped in my head and all of a sudden i went from "grumpy sick brain" to "miserable pms brain" 😭 glad i can recognise it when it happens, but still sucks that it has to happen at all :/

#personal spewage #its esp annoying bc ive been feeling so good lately #literally in the past month the only bad days ive had have been caused by my period #at least i know it only lasts a few days and then ill (hopefully) be back to “normal” #anyway gonna go be miserable and sick now lol

[catcze]

Dont you just. Love. When people tell you “oh I’ll be done at this time can you pick me up then?” And then. And then. They keep you waiting in the parking lot for a whole hour and dont respond to your text. And when they show up they dont even apologize 😀 like. Ha ha. Okay. I totally didnt have plans that i also had to do. I’m totally not exhausted from work. Dont worry. What the fuck.

#cw vent #// delete later #but if the roles were reversed and i was only 5 minutes late i get blown up at. #im. #fuck. #goodness im so tired. i dont care if i have to drink meds i have to have a drink or im gonna be mad the entire evening. #im so mad im not even seething i just dont feel anything right now. #ive had a shitty week. a shitty month. but my goodness this is the last straw im so exhausted. #and it sucks because !!! i judt got my hair done! i cut it short and i was really happy and felt really good. #and! i had this kbbq that ive been craving for a while! and even if i was tired from work it was looking to be okay. #but now all of that is just overshadowed by all the shit of the past few weeks piling up and im so tired and i hate everything. #and i cant feel happy from the little things that i was enjoying earlier today. the things i did to make myself happy. #fuck

[feliciteacup]

i just realized i havent posted here in weeks oops

i have a youtube and a tiktok where i post mostly everything but i keep forgetting to post it to here too 😭 so if you like my stuff maybe you should follow me there instead of here

honestly i dont know if theres even like a community or interest for voice acting on tumblr or anything but im still here just less active here than other places!

[lots of rambling in the tags...]

#idk #i just have fun with it even if i can barely find an audience #maybe its the fact that im so late to it? #i watched mlp from like 2013-2015 then fell out of it and only got back into it last year #and only started ''voice acting'' since february #and all the mlp voice acting videos i see on youtube are from like 2016-2020 when i was not in the fandom #so maybe i just missed the height of popularity or whatever #but people in the mlp discord servers im in seem to enjoy it so i like that #i would like to join servers specifically for mlp voice acting communities since i want to make friends who do this kinda stuff too #but idk if those even exist? #is this like a niche interest and hobby now idk #i just like doing it because it brings me joy #and ive been happier than i ever was before these past few months ive been doing this #and ive become more confident #not cringing at listening to my own voice anymore #not as scared to post my voice to the internet #ive found something i enjoy doing and even if other people dont care thats fine because i care and i have fun doing it #and i know no ones reading this and im just writing this for myself but its good for me to write all of this out somewhere