#ive been thinking about these two way too often it hurts

[stophangiingdjs]

sweet pool spoiler talk under the cut + in tags

i will always perfer miracles may reason ver to the instinct ver (or violin ver. WHATEVER!) because i truly do think youji giving up his life so tetsuo can live like his dad did is just. so so beautifully miserable.

youji loved tetsuo, or at least found solidarity with him being weird fucked up humans. sharing the kindness his father showed him-- the humanity his father showed. using his inner being to do something so inherently human and save his loved one, not out of animalistic preservation to create the purebred/junsei, but just out of love.

nothing is forever-- but in away, even in death, youji’s sacrifice will always be with tetsuo. in a way they’ll always be together. they’ll never have a domestic life together (since youji is dead) in miracles may reason ver., but they’ll always be together in away.

hnnnnnhghhh i just love this little game so much it hurts. i love these two.

#Yosu Spoiler Talk #sweet pool #Nitro+chiral #ive been thinking about these two way too often it hurts #dont get me talking about red road ending or else i will unironically krill myself #rejecting humanity and become a literal mound of flesh with your lover #because humanity rejected you #god the description of youji wanting to look at tetsuo one last time #and cant because his eyes are. literally melted shut. #and him feeling comfort in literally melting together with tetsuo. despite this meaning hes going to die #and enjoying that fact because then he'll be with tetsuo in death. #its just AAHHHHHHHHH KABURA I LOVE THESE BOYS SO MUCH PLEASE LET THEM BE HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bwabys-scenarios]

helloooo!! I saw ur requests were open and that you were askin for some dungeon meshi x chubby reader....I gotchu covered.

May I please request some Chilchuck(or..Chilchack?? Ive no clue what the spelling is..) x Chubby!Reader and maybe also some Laois x Chubby!Reader? If you dont do multiples then either guy is fine!!

Sfw and nsfw on how they interact and think of your body? Scenarios like you tending to grab Chilchuck away from danger alot so he gets alot of booba action?? Embarrassed flustered old man?? Having to look up at you(if you were to be taller) but all he sees is ur chest?? Him givin Alot of needy attention to them when you do fool around cuz it Has been a big thing on his mind?? Him stiching and adjusting ur undershirt so it actually helps support ur chest a bit better and ur so grateful? Laois having a staring habit when he spaces out...yknow him and his tendencies to be curious(he wanted to Count Izutsumi nipples for gods sake.), he just doesnt know, he doesnt mean for it to be creepy or anything he jus is SO infactuated w ur body its so so so beautiful to him, him getting super happy and starts exploring ur body when consent is given?? Alot of his attention is on ur chest too, weighing it, squeezing. Stuff w warm body heat too, Just all around big loving

Thank you so much if you decide to do this and incredibly sorry if I messed up in my ask in anyway 💖💖💖

Chilchuck x Chubby!Reader SFW/NSFW HCs

!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!

a/n: I will do the Laois one in a separate post!! The Chilchuck ideas just… spoke to me!! Also pls send me Dungeon Meshi requests… I’m open to writing for all the adult characters…

warnings: boob sucking, tittyfucking, breeding, cockwarming, thigh fucking, pussy eating

SFW

-you’re probably the only one in the party that he can sleep next to without complaining. you’re soft and warm, and when you ask if you can share his bed with him for the night because it’s cold, he’s… a bit too eager to lift up his blanket for you to join him.

-he complains that you don’t eat enough, and ends up giving you bits of his lunch and dinner. he just think your chubby cheeks are so cute when you’re chewing and likes to watch you eat. he does worry for you though…

-if it’s dark and you’re a bit afraid, he’ll hold your hand. if you ask him why in front of Laois or Marcille he’ll get all flustered and say he didn’t want you to trip him up.

-he only reaches your boobs, which is both a blessing and a curse for him. he can look at your boobs all day with little to no suspicion, but he also gets pulled into your boobs quite often when you hug him or try and save him from an attack. that might sound good to some people, but to him it gets him all flustered and hard embarrassed, then he gets teased by Marcille :(

-oh my gosh snuggles with him are so nice. he’s rather light so once the two of you are close, he’ll lie on top of you and bury his face in your chest or tummy! he’s actually quite the cuddlebug, and will want to snuggle you every single night after the first time.

-your tummy… he loves it so much. Chilchuck is quite the fan of anything soft, so more often than not, when he’s taking a nap he’ll have his head in your lap and face buried in your chubby tummy.

-he’s a bit embarrassed to show you affection in front of the others, so ways he shows he cares are usually subtle unless it’s behind closed doors or away from prying eyes. he peels your apples for you, bandages you up after you get hurt, will tug on your shirt to remind you that he’s here and that he loves you, and give your palm secret kisses when no one’s looking.

-he’s surprisingly possessive? when Laois looks at you, even if he’s just curious and wants to ask you questions, Chilchuck rushes over and finds some excuse to pull you away. he’s the most worried about Laois, but doesn’t like Senshi being all close to you either. he puts up with it more though, but dislikes that Senshi acts like yours and his relationship is like puppy love(Chilchuck is a grown ass man 😭)

-he’s very soft with you, very rarely being sarcastic or short with you specifically. he made you cry once early on in your relationship and it absolutely devastated him, so since then he’s been a lot more careful about what he says

-speaking of crying, he can’t stand your tears, it makes him nervous. if you’re a cry baby be prepared for him to be fretting over you constantly!

-you’re the person everyone in the party wants to snuggle with when it gets cold, so he has to shoo people away, blushing and stuttering about how they’re crowding you. once they’re all pouting and walking away, he huffs and snuggles up to you. you find his jealousy pretty cute, so you lift up your shirt a little so he can duck under it and rest his head on your chubby tummy or breasts.

-your chubby cheeks activate his cuteness aggression. he didn’t even know he liked cute things until he saw your cheeks puffed out and warm after someone made you mad. he nearly stopped breathing, it was the cutest thing he’d ever seen, and he couldn’t help but cup your cheek in his hands. your face heated up even more when he stared up at your with those adoring eyes, gently pinching your cheeks. “soft… so soft and warm…”

-he can be a bit clingy at times, especially when it gets colder out. when you go to sleep, he has to sleep under your shirt, his head on your chest or tummy. you complain about him stretching your your shirts, but he thinks the slightly oversized look is cute on you. honestly, everything is cute on you, because you’re adorable to him.

NSFW

-boobies… he loves your boobs so much. they’re soft and warm, feeling nice and heavy in his hands when he holds them. loves when he gets to bury his face in your bare chest and just snooze… but he also adores getting to play with your nipples, gently nibbling and suckling on the perky buds. he won’t lie, he can get hard just from looking at your clothed chest…

-he is absolutely a service dom that wants to make you feel good, but he can also enjoy being taken care of sometimes!

-enjoys being between your thighs more than he likes to admit. the first time he tasted your pussy was also the first time you ever saw him look so… in love. he gets pussy drunk within minutes, not able to stop sucking on your sensitive clit until you push his head away. he had a wife so he’s definitely experienced with pleasing a woman, so don’t be surprised when he has you cumming on his tongue for an hour or more! <3

-when he’s feeling a bit horny and doesn’t want to bother you at night, he’ll kiss your temple and hold onto your hips as he fucks your thighs, his cock lightly brushing against your pussy. your thighs are fat and soft, and he just loves nestling his cock between them!

-sometimes he’s just tired and wants some snuggles, so he’ll have his cock buried inside of you while you sit on his lap. the first time he asked for this you were terrified you’d crush him because he’s so small and you’re chubby, but he begged for it, something he had never done before. you relented, and as soon as he was buried inside of you, with his head nuzzled against your chest, he looked just too content. “thank you, love… it’s perfect…”

-he’s embarrassed by how good it feels to hear you moan his name, when you say how his cock feels so nice when it hits that certain spot and how you’re gonna cum way quicker than he expected. you being so attracted to him, feeling so much pleasure by him just thrusting into you gets him feeling giddy!

-he most certainly has a bit of a breeding kink… he has 3 daughters already that he loves, but… the urge to claim you and give you a child as well does make his body heat up and his pants grow tight. Chilchuck would like to get you pregnant, but only when it’s safe to do so. he doesn’t pull out though… he just can’t, it’s too tempting and you’re way too warm and cozy… it’s why he loves cockwarming so much!

-circling back to boobs… he’s definitely the type to enjoy a good tittyfuck, but it’ll take him a while to accept this. he’s utterly embarrassed to have his cock anywhere near your face due to being a bit shy, but once he’s nestled between your breasts and your tongue touches the tip of his cock, he groans, nearly cumming right then and there. he’s already a huge fan of your breasts, so feeling them on his cock is otherworldly, and it becomes one of his favorite ways to relieve stress

-he likes to either cum inside of you or on your tummy… he refuses to cum on your face, and will only cum in your mouth if you ask. when he fucks your thighs, he does tend to make a mess all over you and feels awful since it’s not exactly easy to bathe regularly in the dungeon. but you do look awfully cute, messy and sticky with his cum, puffing out your chubby cheek to give him a pout.

#chilchuck x reader #chilchuck #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi x reader #x reader #requests open #anime x reader #headcanon #reader insert #anime x chubby reader #chubby!reader #chubby reader #chilchuck hcs #chilchuck smut #smut requests #x reader smut #smut headcanons #smut fanfiction #anime reader insert #female reader #fem reader #delicious in dungeon #delicious in dungeon x reader #sfw headcanons #headcanons #hcs

[prettyboykatsuki]

oliver talking his partner through it and calling him d**** god your brain is so huge my stomach hurts thinking about this. he’ll never tell you he loves you to your face and tries to fuck you more like he hates you because he doesn’t want to get too attached but as you’re getting close he’s all in your face and your neck, teasing you, biting your ear and softly begging you to tell him how you feel, how it’ll be better for him if you tell d**** just how close you are and how much you need him. takes you over the crest so sweetly, and continues rolling into you, chasing his own. his kisses are nonstop and so overwhelming, and he knows they are but he just really needs to connect with you like this. never the first to say “i love you” but unfortunately (in his opinion) he expresses it in so many other ways. sorry.

but i crumble completely when you cry | a. oliver

✮ tags ; DADDY KINK, afab + fem!reader, situationship!oliver, hooking up, unresolved romantic tension, p in v, praise, soft sex, it gets emotionally strange, riding, creampies, unprotected sex, under-negotiated kink in a sense though oliver is very careful

✮ wc ; 2.2k (i dont want to talk about it)

✮ a/n ; anon im going to haunt your dreams for putting this absurd image into my head when i dont even go here im crying screaming throwing up ive been thinking about it for hours. hours of my life wasted on this guys dick. upsetting!!!!!

also i do not write this often and do not plan too again any time soon so if ur seeing this and thinking about following me for content like it i would not recommend!!!

✮ synopsis ; you don't trust oliver with your heart or your feelings. nor do you expect anything from him.

but it's hard not to lean into him when he decides to cradle you so gently.

Your relationship with Oliver is both very ambiguous and very clear.

There's a line drawn, and you both steer clear of crossing it in your interactions. Oliver is fun. He's attractive and charming, a massive flirt but just genuine enough to be interesting.

It helps that he's hot. Physically, he's got an unreal build.

He's an athlete, so he's big. Wide chest and strong arms, thick thighs and the height to top it off. He's 6'3, and he's sexy (and his dick is huge) - and you sleep with him because of that. You don't date him explicitly because he's a womanizer. If you'd met when you were a little younger, a little more naive - you might've tried to dog-train him into being your boyfriend.

Because on top of the immaculate dick, he's fun to be around. He's funny, he drinks well, he's not a scumbag in the ways that turn you off.

You're old enough to know better. You have a career. You're too busy, and too jaded about love to try and fix whatever weird shit he has going on. So even if the two of you harbor some sort of emotional or romantic feelings for each other, you're smart enough to not get invested in those feelings and smart enough to have no expectations.

Oliver is your fun. He's your sneaky link, your weekend off. You come to him to blow off steam. You have rough, fast sex and it's good. Sometimes you chill afterwards, and you'll indulge each other in some physical affection but other times you take your shower and leave. It's a good time, and you know well enough not to ever ask him for any of your emotional needs. You have your therapist and girl friends for that.

Normally, when you're having a rough week - it's prime time to go to him. He'll fuck you a little harder than usual, and sometimes he's nice enough to kiss it better. But it's still, very distinctly, never crossing that boundary.

But some weeks, like this week - shit is bad. Not just stressful bad, but everything in the fucking world that could go wrong, is going wrong bad. It's not the kind of thing you can get over by compartmentalizing and even when you try to do your usual thing it doesn't really work.

You're trying right now - to get over the fucked up week you had. And you're turned on, but somehow - it's still not enough to get you completely out of it.

Oliver pauses mid stroke, in missionary - hetero-chromatic eyes staring you down as your thoughts are somewhere else completely. You don't notice the first time he stops, or the first time he calls you.

And he only gets your attention by cupping your face and making you look at him. You startle as you cast your glance his way.

"What's with you?" He asks, though he's not pissed or anything "Not feelin' it? Want me to stop?"

"No, you don't have too."

"Not what I asked," He chastises, letting go of your face "Not having your full attention is making me go soft,"

This makes you laugh, and Oliver cracks a smile seeing the tension melt off your face if only slightly.

"I'm cool with stopping." He assures. You let your hand reach up to his shoulder.

"It's not like I want to stop, necessarily? Like I wanna do something to get my mind off it and sex feels like the best option, but you know how it goes sometimes," You say, trying your best to avoid the emotional baggage of your words "We can stop though. I'll pay you for your wasted time," You tack the joke on at the end to ease the tension.

You're expecting him to pull out and stop, or maybe challenge himself into fucking you so good that you forget. Something more quintessentially Oliver than what he does do.

He gives you a blank look first, than a laugh that is a touch too sincere for you to be comfortable "That bad of a week?"

You're suddenly in dangerous territory. Somehow, this strange intimacy makes all the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. You swallow thickly, the emotions coming over you so quick you end up looking away.

"Yeah. You know. It's fine, but you know."

"Mm," He says. He leans into your space. His breath is warm and his stubble tickles your skin as he whispers in your ear. You feel your breath hitch. And the air feels heavy "Wanna try somethin' else?"

"Like what?"

"A surprise," He says first, and find your stomach tightening. A hollowness in your nerves "Gotta trust me."

"You're scaring me." You joke.

"I'm a sex expert, you know?" Oliver says, humming against your skin "If I can't remedy your little problem with my dick, it's bad for my street cred. My yelp reviews will tank."

"You're such a dumbass."

"Do you trust me?"

You don't know how to answer. Yes, for the most part. Not with everything, but with your pleasure at least. Whatever this is, it doesn't feel the same. But you say yes, anyways. Oliver kisses your jaw in reply, then he pulls out.

He flips position easily. He ends up on his back, then he grabs you to rest on top of him. You're not sure what you're expecting. He holds you by your hips as your sex hovers over his cock. His thumb is rubbing circles into your skin as he sinks you down slowly onto him.

You only stare at him, mouth opening as you feel him stretch you open for a second time.

You're more aware of it this way. He's so thick, and so intrusive - and normally, you're feeling that in hard strokes. Fast and rough, like something knocking into your cervix. But like this, he's hitting a deep angle. You can feel every curve, every inch, as you come down slowly.

He keeps you there. For longer than you'd expect. Just keeps you, settles you, holds you gently. You stare at him as he grabs your hand, locking your fingers. Your first instinct is to panic, or crack a joke - but there's an intense look in his eye that shuts you up.

Uncharacteristically gentle, you find yourself frightened. Oliver's hands reach for you again. They hold your waist and slide up the planes of your body. He holds your tits in his palms and squeezes.

He does this a lot, but there's not usually this much touching. This much foreplay. It's grabby, a deeper pressure. He doesn't...feel you, in the way he is now. You stare at him, and he looks back at you so fondly you feel a strange urge to pretend it never happened.

"Play with your clit," He says, though there's no urgency in his voice.

Deep and smooth, the timbre in it has you shaking. You listen, on auto-pilot as you play with yourself clumsily and build a slow pressure. He just watches.

"C'mere, baby. And don't stop touching yourself."

Another pause. It's not the first time he's called you that. He likes to call you all sorts of things when you're fucking, and baby is one of the few. But not like that. Not like this. He gives you a lazy, self satisfied smile and encourages you by placing a hand on where he can reach on your low back.

You lean down, and Oliver tucks you into his chest. He's warm, and strong - and smells so good, like musk and cologne. Your free hand is on his chest, as he grips your hips and fucks up into you.

"That's it," His voice is pleasant to your ears. It feels funny to you "Just gotta listen to me."

He starts fucking you slowly. It's a familiar feeling, a pleasant stretch that dulls into a euphoric fullness. But it's never been this slow before. Each thrust is slow, and punctual, and so deep you feel yourself gasping. It's not enough to push you over the edge, but it's enough to make your mind feel a little numb.

You think he's going to keep at you like this, maybe edge you to take you out of it. But he doesn't. He keeps his pace.

"Had a hard time this week, didn't you, tough girl?" He mumbles, so low it doesn't feel real. You feel your heart start to race. You feel your throat start to close around something, choking "Did a good job and came to me. Gonna let me take care of it?"

You stumble. You aren't sure what to say, you nod and hope he feels it. He laughs a little. You can't be sure if you're fucking Oliver or not.

You know it's him but he's never been like this. Not once. Not ever.

"Gonna let daddy take care of you?" He says, though it's tentative. Your breath hitches. Something strange overwhelms your senses "Tell me, baby."

"Uhm," Your first reaction is a sense of resistance, an immediate pull away. Not that you hate it but you aren't sure how to adjust. You squirm, but you don't tell him no. You feel like you can't in this state "Uh-uh,"

He keeps surprising you, pressing his lips to yours where you hover over him, tender as he ups the pace of his thrusts.

"That's what I like to hear," He almost sounds proud "You'll hurt your head if you think too much. And I'd be a bad daddy, letting that happen, yeah?"

A vulnerable, foreign sensation drives you to speak "You're not bad in that way."

He laughs "Just in other ways, right?"

You giggle "Uh-huh."

"But not in this one," He repeats, very carefully. He fucks into you harder now, pays extra special attention to you. It's all for you, is what he's saying in a language completely foreign yet somehow so known. One only the two of you will ever know fully, confined in the four walls of this room "Daddy is good at taking care of you like this, so you should let him do just that. Tough girls always need their daddies, hm?"

It's what ends up tipping you up over the edge. You cling to him, succumbing to whatever weird space the two of you have fallen into you. Suspended in this odd sense of comfort that Oliver has thrust you in unannounced.

You don't trust Oliver with a lot, and this is more than what you should ever find yourself giving. In the back of your head you think you should pull away.

But he's comforting. It feels good, and strangely feels safe - and even for all the ways he's awful, you trust he'd never do anything bad to you. Even if it's a blip in the timeline, for now it's what you need. A blurry cross into your emotional needs that translate into your physical ones. Too much and so overwhelming, you hug closer to him and take a deep breath.

"Mm," You let yourself lean into him. Just this once, you promise yourself. "I wanna cum."

"Want it a little harder?"

"Mhm,"

"Then Daddy will give it to you a little harder, yeah? Anything for you." He says, and you try not to think to deeply on what that really means. Because even in this state you know it's not nothing, but you should never pry "Daddy can give you anything you want."

"Yeah?"

He chuckles a little as he fucks into you hard. Fucks into you how you need. You're wet enough, and wondering if you were always so into being doted on. Or if it's just the fact that it's Oliver. Another thing you decide to overlook as you zero in on the sensation of being pistoned from underneath. You're soaking. The room noisy with the sticky noise of Olivers cock penetrating you over and over, skin hitting skin as his hips press against your ass. His grip is bruising but not intentionally, his chest huffed in pleasure.

He's just as close as you are, you know all of his cues. You play with your clit faster, sensitive bud throbbing hard as all the blood rushes south. Your mouth has fallen open as the slow, thick desire coiling and culminating into something cosmic. Something big and heavy, but not too fast. Not a crash landing like you're used to.

But a single weight, the force of a star dropping to Earth. You figure Oliver is the gravity in your universe, holding you down so you don't float too far. You want to cling onto him for much longer.

And somehow, you're inclined to think he would let you.

"Oliver," You say his name as it builds, then decide on something else "Daddy,"

"I'm here, baby," He says back, like it's all he has to say for everything to make sense when nothing about this does "I'm right here. Let go."

So you do. You cum hard, and it comes in long never ending waves. Too much. It makes you collapse in Olivers arms, both arms coming around his neck as he continues to fuck you through the aftermath.

"Gonna," He voices, rasping as his thrusts become sloppy "Shit. Cumming, shit."

He cums with you, cums deep inside like usual and you mewl at the feeling of being filled with hot, sticky seed.

When it's over, you're almost afraid to look at him. When the tensions settled, and his chest goes back to it's steady breaths - you wonder whats going to happen next.

"Wanna stay like this for a while?"

You nod.

"Mm. Sleepy."

"Stay like this, then. I'll wake you in a little."

"So you can kick me out?" You joke, trying to pretend nothing is different. He pauses.

"Just to shower," He whispers, hand resting on your lower back "Sleep."

There's too much to think about. Tomorrow will be strange. You let yourself succumb to your own exhaustion.

"Okay."

#return to sender #daddy kink cw #oliver x reader #oliver aiku x reader #oliver aiku smut #bllk x reader #bllk smut #writing tag #this wouldve become a 10k fic if i was not so fucking careful

[uplatterme]

Hidden Urges

cw: pre-memories!wanderer, sub!wanderer, dom!reader, gender-neutral terms and pronouns but reader has a cock, jacking off, hurt/comfort (my bad), overstimulation, crying, REALLY SOFT

a/n: probably one of the best fics ive ever written ngl. might write a part two with post-memories!wanderer if y’all want it.

———

You thought you had been daydreaming at first.

You stood outside the porch of your house and were met with a man who stood in the rain looking unbothered by the whole thing. He was just there, staring into nothingness despite some parts of his clothes getting wet by the second.

You bit your cheek, walking up to him and taking his wrist with your hand.

“Come in? I have supper ready.”

It took him a while to register but he eventually agreed with your persistence.

He introduced himself as a wanderer, he said, “I’ll be out when the rain stops.”

To which you replied, “Take as long as you need.”

You gave him some spare clothes which fit on him loosely as you hung the kimono to dry inside the house. 

He was…a very pretty man. 

You served him a bowl of porridge that he refused multiple times, saying that you should just eat it instead, that you need it more than him. 

It sounded silly seeing as how thin the wanderer was.

“So, who are you really? Besides being a wanderer, I mean.”

Your question seemed to be something that he even himself couldn’t answer. He made that same face that he wore when he was in the rain, deep in thought, possibly contemplating everything that he had gone through.

After a few minutes, he opened his mouth to finally say something, only to be shut up with a spoonful of warm porridge inside his mouth.

You smiled, seeing him swallow the food even if you had to do it forcefully.

“How is it?” You asked.

“It’s good.” He answered, still stunned at how you had just spoonfed him.

“Yeah? Well, there’s more. Dig in.” 

He reluctantly took the bowl in his hands, eating the food that you had generously given to him. You were so persuasive. He wondered if you realized that you had that effect on people.

You ate with him, telling stories of your own as you worried that you had scared him off from asking too much about himself.

A thought lingered in your head as you led him to a spare room before going back to your bedroom alone.

Why was it that he never shivered under the rain?

The rain didn’t let up for days. A storm had manifested instead, meaning any kind of travel would have to be suspended.

Wanderer felt that he was intruding so much already, he could go anytime he wanted to but leaving you alone didn’t seem right.

“Are you alright?” Your hand was on his forehead, checking his temperature.

You had somehow managed to sneak up on him again, he marveled at that fact, questioning whether if you purposely did it when he was busy thinking about something.

He tensed up when you removed your hand from his skin, eager to have more of your touch.

He cursed himself in his head. That had been happening a lot lately, a growing urge inside of him that didn’t want to leave and let go of you once the rain ended.

But that’s exactly why he needed to leave, he couldn’t get too attached.

He stayed in the spare room you had given him and each time he was alone, all these questions kept attacking his head.

Was he supposed to feel this way? Should a puppet such as him have these kinds of emotions?

The longer he stayed here, the longer he felt that he wished the rain wouldn’t stop.

Everything smelt like you. The blankets, the clothes, and eventually, even him.

He stared at the problem at the center of his legs. This too, had been bothering him.

It often happened when he thought about you, or whenever you touched him for too long.

He bit his lip, careful to not let any sound slip. Although these days, he wanted you to hear. To find him like this, all sensitive and spread out just to see your reaction.

Would you have shamed him and kicked him out of the house for this? Or, would you have praised him, telling him how much of a good job he was making?

His hand gripped his cock, imagining that it was you doing this to him. He sang your name softly, fingers now traveling to his tip, using the white liquid that had oozed out as a lubricant.

He continued pumping himself underneath the blankets, smelling your scent and bringing him into a high. His legs trembled with each stroke, knowing that he’ll make a mess once again on the bed that you’d kindly given to him.

“S-Sorry… I can’t help it—” He chanted apologies and came into his hand, his cum splattering to his thighs. 

He needed to leave as soon as possible.

Unbeknownst to your guest, you too, were having a problem.

Your lip has been bruising with how many times you’ve been biting it.

You’re appreciative that you have a pretty temporary roommate like him, but he’d been driving you insane.

Like right now.

He’d been helping you out with dinners lately but with him being inexperienced, he tended to do things in a very questionable way. 

For example, having cream splatter directly on his cheek while he whipped a batch. Or, bending his body against the counter to reach the spatula that’s on the other side instead of just asking for it.

It had your mind going through things that it shouldn’t. Such as imagining the said guest on top of you, taking you in as he tries his best to please you, asking you whether he’s doing it right. And worse, that’s probably the tamest thing you could think of right now, the others you’ve daydreamed about are ten times worse.

Has his shorts ever been that short?

You didn’t want to take advantage of him, seeing as he would do whatever you asked no matter how weird they may be. 

You tried it once, asking him to fetch three blades of grass from the backyard and what do you know, he actually did it.

He seemed to think that he owed you, which isn’t really the case since you just wanted to help out.

What you wouldn’t give to see him gasping your name though.

“Hey, I never really asked this but would you like me to call you something?” You asked.

“Huh?” 

“Ah, well. I understand not telling me your real name but uh, I’d like to call you something like a nickname.”

“It’s up to you. I’d be fine with anything you give.”

You bit your lip again. He’s so sweet!

That being said, you didn’t know what you should call him. Wanderer, huh? Honey is a bit too much, Darling is too domestic, Sweetie seemed like you were pampering him…

Why were these nicknames all sounding like pet names for a lover?

“You said anything, right?” You reconfirmed.

He nodded.

“How about Doll, then?”

He stilled, a deep breath leaving his mouth. He seemed agitated. 

Did he not like it?

“I–Yes. That’s fine. Excuse me, I just have to get something in my room.”

He left before you could even apologize (for what?) or say a word.

That day, the rain stopped and you stopped seeing the wanderer ever since.

You tried to get it off your mind, spending time on your work or reading. 

It didn’t help. He’d disappeared and if it weren’t for your bruised lips, you’d think the whole thing was a long dream that you’d just woken out of.

You laid your back on the doorframe of his room. It wasn’t a guest room anymore, it was his now. Even if he’d never come back.

Wanderer walked and walked, trying to distract himself from you. 

The nickname hurt him and he didn’t know why. Was it because he was a puppet? He’d always been content with being one and if you had asked, he’d trusted you enough to the point that he’d tell you the truth.

Was there something he was forgetting? Something that he forgot which made him feel this hurt?

He stood outside of your house, his head leaning on the door, hand on the doorknob, when he heard a sultry voice talking.

Next, came the moaning and gasping. You were with someone else.

Get rid of them, they don’t deserve your touches. That should be for him, for his only.

His head ached.

He turned the knob slowly, walking towards your bedroom but stopped halfway through when he realized that you weren’t there.

You were in his room.

He sank to the floor, sitting there while he listened in.

“You seem aggressive.” The other voice said.

“Stop. Stop talking. Just lay there.” You replied.

“Really? How long is this going to last? All you’ve done is mark my neck and chest.”

Jealousy was all through his veins. Perhaps if he had never left, that could have been him in that bed instead of some random person.

He could hear you sigh disappointedly. 

“You won’t even kiss me on the lips. You haven’t stripped out of your clothes and it’s been an hour! I know I shouldn’t complain since I’m getting paid here but come on.”

“God, could you shut up?!” You yelled angrily.

Your voice brought shivers to the puppet. You had never gotten mad at him no matter what. Not when he broke the dishes while washing them, not when he accidentally messed up a recipe, not when he spaced out and stopped listening to your stories.

“I didn’t mean it. Doll, I—”

Silence filled the entire house. Not a word from you or the other person. Not a single breath out of the wanderer.

“Shit, I keep—” You stuttered with your words. 

“Can you just get out? Take the money with you.”

The person left without even noticing him to their left, in a hurry and understandably annoyed.

You didn’t think you’d get so desperate, hiring a person who could play his part. 

You thought you could get through it, maybe a fuck was something you needed to get it out of your system. You knew it wouldn’t work but you eventually gave in to your desires.

A shadowy figure loomed into your vision.

“I told you to get out.” 

“Are you alright?”

You brought your head up to see the wanderer looking at you with worry. Were you dreaming?

You stood up with shaking legs, running towards him to envelop him in a hug.

“You’re back.”

“I’m sorry.” He apologized.

You frowned at him, why was he apologizing?

“What? I should be the one saying sorry, I brought someone else home and called you something you didn’t like.”

“Yes, but I overreacted.” He replied.

“It did trigger you, didn’t it?”

He nodded, overwhelmed with your warmth due to being out for so long.

“Yes. But I… don’t know why.” He said with his eyes on the ground, troubled.

“I see. We’ll figure it out.” You reassured him.

“We?” He said, surprised.

“Yes.”

You crashed your lips onto his, something that you’d thought of more than you should. Your hands were on his back while you pressed his body against yours tightly.

The sudden act brought the puppet flustered to a whole new level. 

“Can I ask something?” He said, gasping for air as he separated from you.

“Hm?”

“Can you mark me like what you did with that person earlier?”

“Anything for you, love.”

The wanderer felt as if there were tons of butterflies fluttering away in his stomach. Love? 

Him? Really?

His face is pressed onto the pillows, his ass up for you, as your finger slips inside of his hole so smoothly that you’d think this isn’t the first time that he’s doing it with someone else.

He moaned loudly, fingers gripping the sheets and cum dripping onto them.

He still could feel the bruising on his chest all the way to his neck, there was more and deeper than what you did to your invited guest earlier, obviously wanting to prove to him that it’d never happen again, that it would only be him.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this. Each day with you drove me positively insane.” You told him.

He cried your name, feeling another finger penetrating his walls.

“M-Me too. I’ve thought about it a bunch of times.”

You hummed pleased, removing the fingers that let out a whine from his throat. 

You flipped him over, wanting to see his perfect face, and spread his thighs away from each other.

“Can you show me? Can you show me what you do while you think about it?”

He nodded, red coloring his cheeks.

He took his right hand and started from the base of his cock, stroking it but not all the way through, leaving his own tip unsatisfied. The whole scene already had him trembling, he wanted to look away from your eyes but at the same time, he was relishing from the attention.

“Hnn—Ah~” He breathed out your name, continuing to fuck himself with his hand.

“How many times have you done this?” You questioned.

It took him a while to answer, his head mostly focusing on only the pleasure and ignoring everything else.

“A-A lot. I clean the sheets before you wake up so you don’t notice.”

“Ah, such a good boy, aren’t you?”

He whimpered from the praise, a spray of his cum coming out hastily.

“That won’t do, though. I’m kicking you out of this room.” You said, giving his thigh a pinch, his cock twitching for release.

“You’re staying in my room now. If you want to jack off, you’ll be doing it in front of me just like this…Or, there’s always the other option.” 

“W-What?” 

“You could always ask me to help you out.”

He sobbed out a pathetic noise as he finally reached his orgasm. The bed sheets were already ruined and you haven’t even taken your clothes off yet.

His attention is brought back once he heard you unbuckle his belt.

“I’m gonna make you cum with my cock, the same number of times you orgasmed in here alone.”

“Okay.” He answered, awaiting what it would be like to finally have you inside of him.

Wanderer choked on his own breath when you first penetrated him, it was much different from your fingers. He felt so full of you, each time you thrust in and out of him had his toes curling from pleasure.

He continued whimpering, tears dripping down his cheeks while you held onto his slim waist, pumping him of your length.

His first orgasm from your cock is abrupt, too quick for even him to register it as you didn’t even stop, continuing to pound even deeper and rougher. His cock limped as it juiced out his cum.

It didn’t last long as with one specific hit to his prostate, Wanderer squeaked out an embarrassing noise, his cock hard once again.

“I’m going to ruin you, love.”

“Please do—Hah~”

His body felt lifeless, thighs too tired to even shake even if they wanted to. Your hands doing all the work, whether to switch his position, or make him face you as you fucked him just to see the faces that he would make, high on the pleasure.

Perhaps it was due to his anatomy that it wasn’t hurting, though he supposed that didn’t sound too bad either.

He blushed from his own thoughts, they had been bothering him since earlier. Where were these coming from?

“Do you need me to stop?” You asked him.

“No, keep going.”

His legs were in the air, carried by you, pushing even deeper into him despite that sounding impossible. 

Wanderer teared up again feeling his next orgasm coming, he didn’t even know if he’d be able to cum, already milked out dry.

“Hnghh!” He whined out, proven wrong when you used your other hand, palming his tip.

He came for the last time, exhausted and empty as you pulled out. 

“Should we take a bath together?”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to go there.” He panted, laughing at his situation.

He was covered with his own excretions and yet he looked just as lovely.

“Nonsense! I’ll carry you!”

“Alright then, love.” He returned the nickname, tugging at your heart and bringing you to a smile.

You two did spend more time in the bath than you expected though.

Oops.

#sub genshin #sub genshin impact #dom reader #dom!reader #sub!wanderer #sub wanderer #sub!scaramouche #sub scaramouche #scramouche x reader #wanderer x reader #plattered writings

[sainns]

until i opened my eyes ( nishimura riki )

femreader angst hurt/no comfort & toxic!situationship!riki — why has it taken so long to realize how awful he is?

cw riki is toxic and mean, bittersweet ending imo, no part two ㅤ& 1.4k words

note @nishions hi sorry. anyways this is probs the longest thing ive written in months ☺️ like and subscribe (reblog) please

you always thought that you had a bit more respect for yourself before you got together with riki. maybe it was your fault; you’d never set explicit boundaries or gotten mad at him for anything that he’s done, instead brushing it off as him not being fully ready for a relationship yet.

and that was okay with you, you could understand why he didn’t want to date you. you were content with the small affections he would give you when you were alone, simply ignoring every red flag, no matter how bright they were.

you let him treat you poorly simply because you’ve liked the boy for almost as long as you’ve known him. it was easy to forget about him pretending to not know you in public when he would bring you your favorite foods on days when you were stressed. it was too easy to forget about him only messaging you at atrocious hours of the night when he would watch your favorite shows just so you could talk about it together for hours.

you were fine until you found yourself upset more often than not. all because of him and his actions towards you, it was embarrassing to say the least. the one friend you had told about riki was iroha, and she despised him (with good reason), she was always urging you to get out of this relationship, but you didn’t listen. 

eventually, though, you stopped enjoying the limited time that you actually spent together because it somehow always ended up in an argument, him storming out and you ending up alone like you always were when it came to being with him.

“you can’t seriously be mad at me right now. you’re making a big deal out of nothing,” he scoffs, running a hand through his messy hair.

you're used to this. you're always the dramatic one, everything you do is wrong. he's never wrong and if you so much as imply that he is then you're the bad guy. you're just disregarding his feelings and being an awful person.

“i just – i don’t understand why you would do that. it’s like you’re actively trying to ruin my relationships with people,” you’re sitting on your couch as you watch riki pacing in front of you. he stops when you speak, furrowing his eyebrows as he turns his head to look at you.

you can feel a pit form in your stomach.

“i didn’t know you were in a ‘relationship’ with him,”

“it's not like that, he’s just my friend, ki,”

he hums, nodding his head, “uh huh,” he stares you down. it feels uncomfortable, it’s like he’s trying to think of the worst thing he could possibly say to you, “you don’t treat him like a friend. you’re around him all the time, god. you’re, like, almost as clingy with him as you are with me. it’s weird,”

you resist the urge to scoff, knowing that he’ll only use it against you — “wow, so i can’t say what i feel now? you’re just gonna be a bitch about it?” — like he always does. 

you guess you’re silent for too long because he mumbles something under his breath, you aren’t sure what, and he speaks to you once again, “yn, seriously. what’s your fucking problem?”

“what’s your problem? you’ve been really mean to me lately,”

“whatever, dude. if i’m so mean then i’ll just leave,”

you don’t bother trying to stop him as he grabs his stuff angrily. he slips his shoes on and his hoodie that was sitting next to you before he took it. you watch him intently, taking note of the crease between his eyebrows and his darkened eyes. you know what he looks like when he’s mad and this isn’t it, you don’t know what he’s feeling right now. 

in all honestly, you don’t know anything about him. this whole thing was superficial; you like him but he doesn’t like you. he only likes the attention you give him, the way that you’ll drop everything just for the chance to be in his presence. it boosts his ego and it hurts yours.

iroha told you, she warned you multiple times that the longer you stayed with him the worse it was going to get, but you crave his attention. no matter how hard you tried to stop, you just couldn’t do it. not when he would text you saying that he missed your voice, that he missed hanging out with you.

maybe there’s something wrong with you. realistically, you know that there isn’t, that this isn’t totally your fault, but it truly felt like it was. why doesn’t he like you the way that you like him? what is so wrong with you that he can’t like you back? he used to compliment you all the time in the beginning, he told you everything a girl wants to hear from the boy she likes, but eventually he stopped. maybe it’s because he realized that he already had you hooked, he didn’t need to put in all that ‘extra’ work.

it’s only been seven months since you and him started whatever this is, and it’s been three months of you feeling the most unwanted you’ve ever felt in your life. you can’t believe it’s taken ninety days for you to realize that maybe it isn’t worth it. it never was.

“text me when you fix your shit, alright?” you’re broken out of your thoughts when you hear his voice again. you focus on his figure, staring at him. he wasn’t worth all of this pain, as dramatic as that sounds. you could easily find somebody else, somebody who actually cared about you.

“i don’t want to text you. i don’t want to do this with you anymore,”

you can tell your words surprise him. his eyes widen briefly and you can see him flinch slightly, as if the mere thought of you breaking it off is hurting him. sure, you’ve tried ending things before but this is the first time you’ve sounded so sure of it. this time you really weren’t going to text him, you weren’t going to call him, and you weren’t going to beg for his attention.

“seriously?” his voice is the softest you’ve ever heard it and it almost makes you change your mind, but you don’t.

“yeah,”

he walks back towards you, cautiously, like he’s afraid you’re going to do something to him if he gets too close. once he sees that you aren’t going to hit and scream at him, he kneels down in front of you, his hands resting on your thighs.

“baby, this isn’t even a big fight, what do you mean? are you for real dumping me?”

you laugh bitterly, pushing his hands off of you, “i can’t dump you if we weren’t ever dating, riki,”

“you know what i mean, yn,” you can hear the annoyance creeping into his voice, the sweet and vulnerable tone from earlier disappearing as quickly as it came. this solidified everything for you; no matter how nice he pretends to be, he will never treat you right. his mood changes every time your mouth opens, every time you try arguing your side. he isn’t healthy for you.

“just leave already. i don’t want to do this, i’m serious,” you push him back gently, making enough room for you to stand and walk over to the door, pulling it open, “please, just go. you never had a problem with it before,”

he stares at you for a brief moment, not even having the decency to make eye contact with you as he says, “you’re being fucking dramatic, but fine. don’t text me when you realize you fucked up,” riki stands, finally leaving. he bumps his shoulder against yours when he exits, pulling the door out of your grasp just so he can slam it shut. 

you blink, scrunching your nose up at his display of pure immaturity. despite that ending though, you can practically feel all of the tension leaving your body. you feel like you can finally breath again. you’re glad you finally opened your eyes, that you got out of the lovesick haze he had you trapped in for so long.

#ㅤ⠀ ૮꒰ ˊᗜˋ ꒱ა ♡ ㅤ⠀ #riki x reader #niki x reader #ni ki x reader #nishimura riki x reader #enhypen x reader #enha x reader #riki scenarios #riki x you #riki x y/n #niki x you #niki x y/n #riki imagines #riki angst #enha x you #enhypen scenarios #enha angst #enhypen x y/n #enhypen x you #enhypen angst

[genderkoolaid]

something ive noticed as a very effeminate trans masc that dresses pretty androgynous & has been on hrt for many years is that the status of being a "dangerous man" can and will be placed on you (ime most often by cis white women) whenever expressing any kind of negative feelings. if i told friends of mine - even queer ones - that something they did hurt my feelings or made me upset, i was suddenly a dangerous man or a (man)ipulator or whatever - even if i didn't raise my voice. the very fact that i am unhappy combined with my proximity to manhood makes me a supposed threat in their eyes.

a couple years ago i had a group of cis girl friends. they would constantly pull me into women's bathrooms n such so i wouldn't be left behind saying its fine its fine bc im one of the girls (gender neutral) but then as soon as i was upset about something i was suddenly a dangerous man who needed to stay out of women's spaces,,,, despite the fact that of the 4 of us, the girl who joined after me was the one spreading this shit around my friend group so... how was i encroaching on womens spaces if i was there before her and i was invited in? luckily one of my friends told me that the other two were plotting to kick me out of my friend group on the sole basis of my proximity to manhood so i at least knew why they were suddenly treating me like shit

its just.. i cant understand why people dont think trans mascs and trans men are discriminated against when they literally said it was my "toxic man energy" that made them want me out WHILE ALSO being the ones convincing me to go into womens spaces bc they wanted to go somewhere and didnt wanna have to leave me behind & like i said im extremely effeminate and faggy and also NONBINARY so i dont understand what "man energy" they were talking about other than the fact that im on testosterone and thinking testosterone = man is just transphobic no matter how you try to twist it

but my taking testosterone was never a problem or made me evil or scary when they wanted me to go with them into women-only (&nonbinary too i guess unless youre amab (and they can tell) or been on testosterone for too long) spaces, it was only a problem when they wanted 1. a reason to criticise me relentlessly, borderline bullying or 2. a reason to dismiss any of my concerns or criticisms of their treatment of me

all of that, to me, is transandrophobia point blank. i dont know what else you could call it other than transphobia, but transphobia doesn't address any of the very blatant and obvious connection of how my transness affects their perception of my proximity to manhood and how that affected the situation

God that sucks. I'm sorry you went through that.

You make a very good point. This is why I don't want to define transandrophobia/ATM as just transphobia and misogyny directed at transmascs. I still think transunity theory is a really valuable way of looking at transphobia & its important to me that we are vocal about how masculine tropes are weaponized against trans people by cis people on the regular because of how we are positioned in relation to gender. Too many people think the that the only thing wrong with saying trans people have "dangerous male energy" is that its misgendering. So trans people who choose to associate themselves with manhood are left in the trash by the people who should know best how much being made out to be a Dangerous Male Invader hurts!

#m. #ask box #experiences with transandrophobia

[pinknipszz]

golden girl

↷ ˊ- neteyam/metkayina reader | (i.), (ii.), (iii.), (iv.)

“whose only claim to grace and fame was a smile that put the sun to shame.”

neteyam had woken up that morning with newfound fervor, startling his family over breakfast when he said that he wanted to explore the tidepools. he shouldn’t have been at all surprised by their shock. it was his first attempt at embracing their new “home” out of curiosity rather than necessity. he deliberately left out the fact that you would be accompanying him, but it’s not something his family needed to know. 

“be mindful of where you step.” you warned when the tide finally retreated, leaving seawater trapped in indentations in the rocks. “there are fish that bite in these parts of the water.”

concern washed over his expression. “are they fatal?”

you simply shook your head before beckoning him over with a look that said, follow me. as if their surfaces weren’t covered in wet algae, you jumped from one large rock to the next, passing by shallow pools that you knew were empty. after all, you weren’t a stranger to tidepooling; you often did it alone for leisure, until you decided to extend that joy to neteyam. 

you don’t know why you did. you two weren’t close until that fateful day you helped with the ilu, and even then, you’ve only ever known him for a few weeks. it must have been strange for onlookers to see the strange pair, a spectacle of oddities, converse so easily. you don’t mind the looks, though, not when neteyam proved to be nice company. 

he spoke to you kindly, far kinder than the boys you grew up with, and he was a gentleman through and through, charming in all of the right ways. perhaps that’s why you invited him to tidepooling, but it didn’t matter what the reason was if you weren’t going to tell him anyway.

you came to a stop once you reached your favorite pool and looked over your shoulder, expecting him to be behind you. however, when you caught him nearly slipping off the rocks, you realized that it was poor judgment on your part to leave him on his own. you stepped forward and called out. “do you need help? i can—” he cut you off with a quick wave, signaling you to stay put.

neteyam readjusted himself to find some footing, ignoring the disgusting squelch of wet algae, before firmly planting his feet and launching towards another rock. you winced when he nearly slipped, but he quickly recovered. “you will fall if you overthink too much.” you shouted. “just ignore how slippery it is and trust yourself.” 

“that’s easy for you to say!” he quipped back.

you don’t know how much time had passed when neteyam finally reached your side, but you didn’t bring it up. instead, you congratulated him, reassured him that you wouldn’t tell a soul, not even his little brother, and ushered him to kneel beside the shallow pool with you. however, it was rather large in size and had many crevices that reached depths neteyam didn’t want to think about.

“that’s the fish i was telling you about!” you excitedly pointed out. “the ones that bite!”

“that’s a strange thing to be happy about.” he chuckled, watching the small colored fish swim past swiftly. he’ll admit that the pools were very beautiful, and the creatures even more so. there were some he recognized and many he'd never seen before. not to mention that the sea plants grew differently here, as if accommodating to the shallow water and jagged rocks. much to his surprise, there wasn’t anyone else here. 

you huffed, glaring as if you had a personal vendetta against a fish. “we have history. when my father took me here for the first time as a child, he didn’t tell me that some species were hostile. he let me wade in the water until i had to learn my lesson the hard way. their bites don’t hurt that much, but they leave a nasty swell that lasts for days!”

neteyam laughed, loud and unabashed, his shoulders shaking from the force of it. instantly, your face flushed a light purple. you shoved him lightly. “are you laughing at me?”

“no no.” he quickly reassured you between chuckles. “that just sounds like something my dad did. a few years ago, he took me hunting by a river and i stepped on something unpleasant. before i could look down to see what it was, it had scurried away and left a mark on my shin. my mother was furious.” neteyam smiled at the memory.

“guess you could’ve done well with a warning.” 

“so could you.” he pinched your shoulder and you swatted him away in a fit of giggles.

the bright afternoon sun guided you and neteyam across the rocks, moving from one pool to another. he watched you closely as you explained the unfamiliar sealife, pointing out your favorites along with ones that he might like. you even let him hold some, like an orange, star-shaped creature with dull spikes. neteyam listened intently, absorbing your words in earnest.

it wasn’t until the tide returned that he realized just how much he learned from you in a matter of hours, and not once did he think about the forest. it scared him. “it is getting late.” you realized. “we should start heading back.” he only nodded when you stood up from your spot, smoothing out your outfit and extending a hand towards him. “i hope you had fun today. i look forward to next time.” you said as you pulled him up.

“next time?” neteyam teased, tilting his head.

your eyes widened at his sudden confidence. the purple hue, which neteyam was starting to familiar himself with, returned to dust your cheeks. it took a few moments before you finally recollected yourself, flashing a shy smile. “if you’ll let me.”

“next time it is then.” he whispered, pushing back his thoughts of the forest.

(masterlist)

#avatar the way of water #atwow #atwow neteyam #neteyam x reader #neteyam x metkayina!reader #neteyam x navi reader #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #neteyam imagine #atwow imagines #neteyam x you

[snenbubs]

Okay please don't overwork yourself and please go eat a drink something

But idk if you're request are open if not than I'm sorry

But mammon with a reader who likes their personal space and doesn't talk much and if you do get to close in their personal space they'll wack you with their tail/or claws for the people with oc without tail's

Couldn't find a cute cat picture so you're getting whatever tf this is

HELLOOOO!!! IM BAACK my reqs are always open 4 u dont chu worry

ive just been really lazy and have been rlly slow responding to everything 💀 ITS CHRISTMAS BREAK WHEEEY

ANYWAYS HERE WE GO; HB MAMMON X GN!READER WHO LIKES PERSONAL SPACE

these are hcs BUT LIKE borderline oneshot cuz i got excited writing it

- Well this is awkward, cuz he is the EXACT opposite of personal space. He is a clingy, touchy, grabby man who does not give two shits whether he knows the person or not.

- Four hands amplify this nature too, which makes his overbearing presence so much worse.

- Additionally, he does not understand the words "Hey, could you back up please?" The people around him are far too afraid to upset him to voice their upset, and if they ever did, its highly likely he'd ignore them.

- SO, it's a lucky thing that words had never been your forte. Rather, you'd fall onto the trusted habit of batting and whipping your tail/clawing or scratching at anyone who disregarded your boundries.

- It was an automatic response, too. Often done without thinking when you registered something making you uncomfortable.

- Honestly, it was a recipe for disaster: putting a touchy-feely man who did not like to be disrespected in a room with you, who liked personal space and would take to mild violence if pushed.

- And thats how the two of you met! How sweet!

- It was honestly shocking he even paid any attention to you in the first place. The working environment at Mammon's factories was intense, loud and demanded a vast attention span.

- You on the other hand, were quiet. You got to your work with skill and ease without paying much mind to those around you. In comparison to the large factory, you were but a small detail.

- So, it was odd and understandably alarming when two arms slunk around your body, yanking you away from your intricate work and toward a large figure that yabbed on about something most likely important.

- "Hey, mate, are you the one operating the---"

- By the time you had processed who you had just hit/scratched, it was far too late.

- Oh and he was SO pissed off. Especially because you, a lowly demon, had landed a hit on he, the great Mammon, Prince of Greed in public.

- You don't even know how you lived that experience.

- BUT GOING ONWARD.

- In the early days of this blossoming relationship I don't think Mammon would care too much about how you felt toward personal space. He just does what he wants, when he wants. Which includes grabbing and hugging you.

- BUT, he gets fed up of constantly having bruises and scratches littering his body from where you would claw and bat yourself against him.

- It actually got so concerning that Asmodeus asked him if you were hitting him with malicious intent.

- He had no idea how to say that, no, you weren't trying to hurt him. He just didn't care about your personal space and you reacted accordingly.

- This would go on for a good while, I think. He is so used to being able to just grab at people that he doesn't think anything of it, even if you bat and hiss at him vicously.

- Eventually though, after a good while of injuries and some conversations about boundries and just why you were the way you were, he does back off a little.

- Ultimately, though, I think Mammon is the kind of person to like and desire physical contact within a relationship of any kind. It's one of his love languages, and he especially wishes to apply it to the one he really adores.

- So there's a sort of agreement between the two of you that such contact is fine, so long as he isn't sudden and invasive with his advances.

- Another thing which divides your personalities however is that you are a quiet soul, whereas he could talk for DAYS and DAYS.

- Seriously, if he isn't shut up then he won't stop talking.

- You've always been a listener, and have enjoyed hearing those around you speak of the things that interest and excite them. This compliments Mammon greatly, for he just LOVES talking about himself, and what he's into, and whats happening in his life.

- This will probably end with you in his lap (after a LOT of coaxing) as he runs his hand through your hair and rambles about anything on his mind.

- He's so cute i lobe him

ps. apologies if this is short !! BUT AHAHA I LOVE THE PICTURES YOU SEND THEY ARE ALWAYS SO FUNNY

#helluva boss x reader #mammon hb #mammon hb x reader #hb mammon #hb mammon x reader #i might marry him #like #seriously

[atlabeth]

everything happens for a reason part 20 - zuko x fem!reader

Guess it's true, I'm never getting over you

part 19 | masterlist | part 21

a/n: holy shit guys. we're finally here. the title chapter, the part that officially puts us over the 100k mark, the turning point, the end of the constant mf angst that i've put you all through. that's right. it's finally time for yn and zuko's life changing field trip. ive had this idea down for so long and i can't believe we're actually here lol. buckle up because she's a very long and very emotional one. i hope you enjoy.

wc: 14.3k I KNOW IM SORRY

warning(s): a lot of angst, fighting, violence (including minor character death), a whole lot of emotions, but the fluffy reconciliation you've all been waiting for<3

chapter title comes from everything happens for a reason (!!!!!!) by madison beer

Y/N felt betrayed. 

It wasn’t a secret how she felt about Zuko. She avoided him at every possible moment, making herself scarce whenever he walked into a room or completely ignoring him in group conversation—it was the closest she could get to the civility required now that he was Aang’s firebending teacher, and even that was difficult. 

Not because she didn’t want anything to do with Zuko—no, it was becoming the opposite, and it scared her more than anything. 

She found herself thinking of him more often than not. And not of the North, or their meetings along their journey, not the catacombs—she found herself recalling the more pleasant memories. 

The time they spent together whenever they could when she was still a servant and he was still a prince. The sunset they shared together the night before her life was turned upside down. Those afternoons when she would visit him in the tea shop, talking like they used to, smiling like they used to. 

Remembering him for who he was rather than who he had become was dangerous. It was how she got her heart broken in the first place, how she went through some of the worst months of her life. 

He couldn’t hurt her again if she didn’t give him the chance to. So she wouldn’t. 

But it was getting harder and harder to avoid him, because one by one, her friends forgave him. 

First, she’d heard, was Toph. She didn’t have any kind of grudge against him, and she was able to make up for him burning her feet tenfold now that he was part of the team. 

Next was Aang. He was already far too forgiving, the amount of grace inside of him more than Y/N could even hope to muster. They proved themselves in front of the last dragons together, and apparently that was enough for Aang to trust him. 

It took Sokka a bit longer, but after what they pulled off at the Boiling Rock together, he didn’t seem to have a hard time getting along with Zuko. The fact that he helped save Y/N and Suki probably didn’t hurt his chances either. 

Zuko had burned down Suki’s village, but Y/N still remembered what she told him in the courtyard—”if you can get me out of here, you’re forgiven. Kyoshi’s fans, I’ll be your best friend.” They weren’t exactly that close, but they worked together, and that was enough. 

Katara, it seemed, was the only one who still shared Y/N’s scorned feelings. They held onto each other like a lifeline, feeding off of the other in their hatred. It might not have been the healthiest option, but they refused to forgive Zuko. They stewed in their hurt, and it felt good. It felt good to have a target for their bitterness rather than the abstract ideal of betrayal, and Zuko worked just fine. 

After they had fought against Azula, the night they settled on a random Fire Nation island, the two of them sat together on the outskirts of camp. They were meant to be keeping watch together, but instead they made quiet conversation. 

“So,” Katara said, “today was… something.” 

“That’s one way to say it,” Y/N said wryly. “Since joining you guys, I’ve had enough action for a lifetime. I can’t wait for all this to be over.” 

Katara smiled, but it was wistful. “Neither can I. This has all gone on for so long—all I want is peace.” 

A memory flashed through her mind—frantic screams, desperate pleading, flames devouring centuries of life—and Y/N swallowed thickly as she tried to push it away. The closer the day came, the more the memories would appear. It happened every year, but this time it was worse. 

“Me too,” she murmured. “More than anything.” 

Katara looked at her for a moment, her gaze softening before she finally spoke. “Are you okay? I… I know today wasn’t easy.” 

Y/N managed a thin smile, but it wasn’t convincing. “You don’t have to worry about me.” 

“You know I can’t do that,” Katara said dryly. “We look out for each other—we always have, even from the first day we met. But it’s like you’re trying to make it as hard as possible for me to care about you.” 

“One of my many skills,” she said sarcastically, but Katara didn’t laugh. Y/N sighed in response, long and deep, and allowed her gaze to drift into the murky distance. At nighttime, the water and the sky became one. It was calming. “I just…” she shook her head, “I don’t know what to do.” 

“With Zuko,” she guessed. 

“With everything,” Y/N said, but then she sighed again. “...Zuko included.” 

“He doesn’t deserve you,” Katara said quietly. “Not after everything he’s put you through.” 

“I keep telling myself that,” she murmured. “But there’s something inside of me that I can’t get rid of.” She looked at Katara, the beginnings of tears glimmering in her eyes. “There— there’s this hope that I can’t get rid of, that things could be the way they used to be again. And— and last time I felt that way was in Ba Sing Se, and I know where that got me, so—” 

Katara stayed silent, only taking her hand to acknowledge her while allowing her to continue. It was a lifeline to her, one sorely needed, and she let out a shaky breath. 

“So why do I still feel that way?” she asked, almost desperately. “How have they all forgiven him so easily? They know what he did— spirits, Aang died because of him— but they’re all able to sit around and joke with him like nothing happened.” 

“They didn’t trust him the way we did,” Katara said with a quiet anger. “They didn’t trust him the way we did, so it didn’t hurt them the way it hurt us.” 

“I don’t want to forgive him,” Y/N said weakly. “But the thought of losing him hurts so much. Why does it hurt so much?”

“I don’t know,” Katara murmured. “I… I don’t know.”

Y/N flinched as a tear rolled down her cheek and fell to the ground below, and she instinctively wiped it away. She couldn’t show weakness.

She grimaced at the thought. How long would that wretched place stay with her?

“I’ll give you some time.” Katara’s expression was pained as she squeezed her hand. She didn’t want to leave her alone, but Y/N was thankful for it. Right now she just needed to feel miserable by herself, without bringing Katara down with her. 

“Thank you,” she whispered.

Katara nodded as she stood up. “You can sleep in my tent tonight. Or if you decide you want to talk, come bother me. I promise it’ll be okay.”

Y/N nodded, the action a bit numb, and she could feel Katara’s eyes on her as she lingered. But eventually she mustered the strength to leave, and Y/N was left with her thoughts.

She swallowed the sudden lump in her throat as she stared up at the sky. She tried to find the constellation her father taught her when she was a mere child—the tiger seal. 

It was a jumble of stars that didn’t even remotely resemble the animal, but she remembered late nights spent stargazing on the ground outside their house, giggling endlessly as her father would point out various other constellations that he made up on his own. It would last until her mother would come out and tell them it was far past your bedtime, young lady, but she would never hide her smile as they ambled back inside.

The memory made a smile of her own emerge, but she soon realized she was fully in tears. They slid down her cheeks, falling onto the dirt and stones jutting out of the cliffside. 

She couldn’t stop thinking of Zuko. She couldn’t stop thinking of her father. She felt so deeply broken in a way that she had no idea how to fix, in a way that was threatening to consume her. 

She had her life back. Everything should have been back to normal. 

But instead, she felt more lost than ever.

-

Y/N ended up taking Katara’s offer of sleeping in her tent, and she was glad she did. The familiarity of it all made her heart ache, but she was thankful for it. Thankful that she had friends like these who wouldn’t let her push them away, no matter how much her newly wired instincts told her it was the right thing to do. 

She was visited by her childhood in her dreams yet again. She saw her father and her mother, walking hand in hand with smiles on their faces as they trailed behind a young Y/N skipping through the village paths. 

She saw her child self running, screaming and laughing in equal parts as she was chased by the boy marked as the tagger, only to stagger backwards after running into one of the adults. But she was greeted by the smiling face of her father. The boy tapped her on the shoulder and ran off laughing, but her father knelt down to her level and looked at her completely seriously. 

“I guess that means we’re the taggers now, huh?” And with that, the two of them ran around the village tagging everyone they could with the seriously unfair advantage. 

She saw the moment after she’d learned how to waterbend, sprinting through the whole village to find her father, drag him to the lake, and show him her new skill. Gan held all the stars in his eyes as he watched her bend, and even though it was the simplest thing she could’ve done he praised her to no end. 

The absence of scars, the smoothness of her skin, a bright smile that shone through her—she was unmarked by the world then. Hopeful, content, naive. 

When she woke up with still-wet tear tracks on her cheeks, it wasn't a surprise. She woke up like this more often than not. 

One week. Seven days. And then she would go to face something she wasn’t sure she was ready for.

But for now, there was something else to focus on. She could hear loud voices outside of the tent—all familiar, thankfully—but she knew that meant she had overslept. 

Y/N fixed her hair and her clothes, rubbing furiously at her face to get rid of any signs of her previous emotions, and emerged from the tent to see her friends all standing around Appa. 

“—about getting closure and justice,” she heard Zuko say, and her brows instinctively creased. 

“What’s going on?” Y/N asked, crossing her arms as she stopped between Sokka and Zuko. “What are you all talking about?” 

Zuko’s eyes widened slightly as he looked at her. “Uh— good morning.” 

“Good morning,” she said stiffly before repeating herself. “What’s going on?” 

“Zuko knows where to find the man who killed our mother,” Sokka said. He was oddly quiet. 

“And Katara wants to find him,” Aang said, his expression uneasy. 

“Is there a problem with that?” Katara asked defensively. 

“Not if Zuko’s right and you just want closure,” he said. “But I don’t think that’s what this is about. I think it’s about getting revenge.” 

“Maybe it is!” Katara exclaimed, gesturing with one hand. “Maybe it is about revenge, Aang. But don’t you think I deserve it?” 

“You don’t know what it will do to you,” Aang said. “I know how you feel right now, trust me—like violence is the only way to solve your problem. I felt that way after I discovered what happened to my people. But it’s not the only way.” 

“I can’t let him go now that I know I can get to him!” she yelled, her voice rising with her anger. “Maybe it’s what I need—maybe it’s what he deserves.” 

Aang’s eyes widened slightly. “Katara, you sound like Jet.”

“That’s not the same,” she snapped. “Jet hurt the innocent. This man— he’s not innocent. He’s a monster.” 

“Katara, she was my mother too, but I think Aang might be right,” Sokka said. 

She set her jaw. “Then you didn’t love her the way I did.” 

Sokka took a step back as his eyes widened. “Katara…”  

“The monks used to say that revenge is like a two-headed rat viper.” Aang spoke up quickly, trying to fill the air after what she’d said. “While you watch your enemy go down, you’re being poisoned yourself.” 

“That’s cute, but this isn’t Air Temple preschool,” Zuko said. “It’s the real world.” 

“And you think he hasn’t experienced the real world?” Y/N snapped. “I think he knows a little bit about grief after what’s happened to him.” 

Zuko looked at her with a surprisingly level expression, contrasting her narrowed eyes and upturned lip. “Monk pacifism isn’t going to help here.” 

Y/N opened her mouth to retort back but Aang stopped her. “It’s okay. I forgive you, Zuko.” He looked at Katara. “That’s what you need to do. Forgiveness.” 

Katara laughed in disbelief. “You want me to forgive the man who murdered my mother?” 

“Of course not!” Aang said. “You need to face him—I understand that. But when you face him, you can’t kill him. You have to let the anger flow through you, and then out of you. Accept your emotions, then let them go.” 

“Why should he get to live when our mother is gone?” Katara shouted. “I don’t want to forgive him, I want revenge!” 

“Killing him won’t bring our mother back,” Sokka murmured. “You’ll just have someone else’s blood on your hands.” 

“Good,” she said coldly. “An eye for an eye.” 

“Makes the whole world go blind,” Aang finished. “One of the monks said that back in the temple—violence might feel right, but it just hurts everyone more. Forgiveness is the right choice.” 

“Forgiveness is the same as doing nothing,” Zuko said. 

“No, it’s not,” he said. “It’s easy to do nothing—forgiveness is hard.” 

“It’s not just hard,” Katara snarled, “it’s impossible.” 

Aang looked over at Y/N, who had been silent since her outburst at Zuko. “Y/N, please. You know revenge won’t help her.” 

Y/N looked between the two of them, the steely determination brewing in Katara’s eyes at odds with a desperate softness in Aang’s. Something twisted in her chest, and she had to force herself to look away as she spoke. 

“...Do what you have to,” she said quietly. “Whatever that ends up being.” 

Hurt flickered across Aang’s expression before he looked away, and Katara nodded thankfully at her before she started walking away. Zuko cast a long look at Y/N before he followed her. 

“I’ll see you guys later,” Y/N muttered as she hurried off in the opposite direction, swallowing her doubts as her hands bunched into fists and loosened over and over, desperately needing something to do with them. 

Katara was going after her mother’s killer, and Zuko was helping her with it. Katara, her last line of defense in her feelings against him, was going on her own trip with him. Y/N knew it was for the best—it was something she needed to do and Zuko had the Fire Nation knowledge that no one else in their group possessed, so he was the obvious choice—but a small part of her still couldn’t help but despise it.

He was getting too close, far too close, and she wasn’t going to let that affect her. 

No matter what.

-

Y/N had found a small solace by the cliffside, sitting on the edge as her legs hung off. She could fall just as easily as anything, but maybe it was the danger that calmed her, the fact that she was in control of what would happen. She heard the footsteps before anything though, and her body tensed up instinctively as she whirled around. 

“It’s just me,” Toph said, her blank gaze aimed at the ground. “You’re jumpier than usual.” 

“How can you tell?” 

“I can hear every ant on this cliffside through their movements,” she said. “Your heart rate spiked so much that even a baby could tell you’re off. You’ve been off, ever since you came back.”

She smiled wryly. “I’m still getting used to everything again. It’s not an easy transition.” 

“But you’re here,” Toph said, and she sat down next to her. “You’ve been through everything, and you’re still here. That means you’re tougher than everything the Fire Nation has tried to throw at you.” 

“How can you say that so easily?” Y/N asked. “I’ve flipped out on everyone at least twice for no reason. I constantly have nightmares about what’s happened. I— I can’t even bend because Zuko still has this stupid hold on me. I don’t feel tough. I feel weaker than ever.” 

“You’re still here,” Toph repeated, emphasizing each word. “So many other people would have given up by now if they were in your position. But you didn’t—you fought, and you continued to fight until you won, no matter how long it took you. That’s what makes you tough—not all the stuff you’ve been through, but the fact that you’re still standing at the end of it.” 

“When did you become so wise?” she joked weakly, her gaze trailing off into the horizon. The sun was beginning to set, beautiful reds and oranges blending with deep purple. It reminded her of the night everything changed. 

“Someone had to keep these dunderheads together while you were busy in prison.” Y/N chuckled a bit, but she could see Toph’s expression sober in her peripherals. “...I’ve just been worried about you.”

“Really?”

Toph punched her on the arm without looking. “Does that make you believe me?” 

Y/N managed a small smile as she rubbed the spot. “Yeah.” 

“Good. Because I don’t know how much sappy stuff I can take.” 

Her smile widened as she wrapped an arm around Toph and pulled her closer. “So you do love me.” 

“Let go of me!” she protested. “This is the worst kind of sappy stuff!”

But Toph made no move to get away from her, and Y/N laughed. “Just admit it. You missed me.” 

“Of course I missed you,” she huffed. “Without you, I actually had to do all the work with Katara instead of knocking Twinkle Toes around with earthbending or practicing on my own. It was horrible.” 

“I missed you too, Toph,” Y/N said with a smile. “I didn’t realize how much I appreciated your tough love until I didn’t have it.”

“I have plenty saved up for you, Snowflake,” Toph grinned, “so don’t worry.” But her expression sobered, and she paused. 

“...I’m here for you,” she said after a moment. “If you need anything, or just someone to listen to. I’m good at listening to people complain.” 

“Thank you,” she said, her smile softening. “That means more than you know.” 

And as the two of them sat there in silence, nothing being said verbally but more in the air between them than ever, she felt content once again. She didn’t realize how much she just needed to talk to somebody. First her conversation with Katara and now with Toph—her friends really were the secret to making her feel better. 

…Things would be okay again, Y/N thought to herself. No matter how long it took, her friends would be there for her. 

Things would be okay again. 

She would be okay again. 

-

“They’ve been gone for too long,” Sokka grumbled. 

“It’s been two days,” Aang said. “Zuko said the man they were after was retired—it can’t be easy to find a retired Fire Nation soldier, no matter how knowledgeable you are about the navy.” 

“That’s too long,” Sokka insisted as he crossed his arms. While Y/N, Aang, Suki, Toph sat together in a loose arc, Sokka was up and pacing. He had been for the past twenty minutes.

“Can you sit down, Sokka?” Y/N asked. “You’re stressing me out.” 

“You should be stressed out!” he exclaimed, flinging his arms up. “The boy prince of betrayal went off with my impressionable sister on a murder field trip. There is no reason to not be stressed out!” 

“You need to give Sugar Queen more credit,” Toph said. “If Zuko tries anything, he’s the one that should be worried. Not the other way around.” 

“Toph’s right,” Aang said, but then he frowned. “And I thought you trusted Zuko.” 

“Not when he’s alone with my sister on a murder field trip!” Sokka heaved a long sigh as he stopped, staring out into the distance. Even though their island was one of a big scattered chain, they were still extremely isolated. It was unnerving sometimes, especially at night. “She feels everything so strongly, and… and she’s always felt guilty about what happened to Mom. I know she thinks this is her chance to make it up to her, to do what she wished she could have done on that day. But I also know that if she goes through with it, she’ll regret it for the rest of her life.” 

“She’ll make the right choice,” Y/N murmured. “I know she will.” 

Aang suddenly perked up, and he turned around. When he did, his eyes widened. “They’re back.” 

They all turned around to see Appa touching down at camp, but only one person dismounted. 

“Where’s Katara?” Y/N instantly asked, her eyes narrowing as she darted up. 

“She’s fine,” Zuko said, but when he glanced at Aang she could see his nerves. “She… she’s back at the dock. At the soldier’s village.” 

“Did she…?” Aang didn’t finish the sentence, but he didn’t have to. 

“No. He’s terrified out of his mind, but he’s alive.” A weight was visibly lifted off of Sokka’s shoulders with the single word, and Aang nodded. 

“That’s… that’s good.” 

“She said she needed some time to herself,” Zuko murmured. “I figured it was only right to bring you back with me.” 

“I’m coming too,” Sokka said.

“Me too,” Y/N spoke up. She could feel Zuko’s gaze on her, but she didn’t meet it. 

“I’ll stay back,” Toph said. “Someone has to hold this place down.” 

“I will too,” Suki said, and she gave Sokka a light kiss on the cheek. “I hope she’s okay.” 

“She will be,” Sokka said softly. “Eventually.” 

Zuko nodded and started walking back towards Appa. “Let’s get back, then. It’s a bit of a ride.” 

-

Soon enough, they were all in the village, and Aang jumped off Appa as soon as he’d guided him close enough. 

“Katara!” he exclaimed as he ran towards her, sitting on the edge of the dock. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m doing fine,” she murmured. Her voice was placid as the water she sat above, but it was strained. 

“Zuko told me what you did,” Aang said softly. “Or… what you didn’t do, I guess. I’m proud of you.” 

“I wanted to do it,” she said stiffly. “I wanted to take out all my anger on him, and I almost did. But… but I just couldn’t. I don’t know if it’s because I’m too weak to do it or strong enough not to.” 

“You did the right thing,” Y/N said. “Facing that man makes you stronger than he could ever hope to be.” 

“Forgiveness is the first step you have to take towards healing,” Aang said. 

Katara stood up, and her gaze was a mixture of sadness and acceptance. But it was obvious the ordeal was still weighing on her. “I didn’t forgive him. I’ll never forgive him. But…” she looked past them and over at Zuko, the smallest of smiles pulling at her lips. “...I am ready to forgive you.” 

She walked up to Zuko and hugged him, and after a moment of hesitation Zuko smiled and wrapped his arms around her. Y/N clenched her jaw and started walking back over to Appa. 

She was happy Katara got closure, of course she was. But in the process, she had forgiven Zuko. She was her confidante, the one person who understood how deep her anger towards him went. She had been by Y/N’s side throughout their whole journey, at each and every road block, she was there for Ba Sing Se—for all of Ba Sing Se. 

And somehow, Zuko had gotten her to forgive him too. 

It was selfish, unbelievably so, for it to hurt her so much when Katara had just faced something impossible. But she couldn’t help the way that her chest twisted, how her heart ached, how her nails dug so deep into her palms they left indentations. 

When the rest of them got back onto Appa, Katara sat down next to her. “Thank you for coming.” 

“Of course.” She didn’t make eye contact, her gaze focused into the distance as Aang set off for camp. “I’m glad you got to face him. That you made the right decision for you.” 

“Y/N,” she murmured, “I know what this is about.” 

“It’s not about anything except you,” she evaded. “This was a journey you had to take—we’re all behind you.” 

“And you have all my thanks for that,” Katara said. She glanced at Zuko on the other side of the saddle, very obviously trying to pretend like he wasn’t listening in on their conversation. He wasn’t very good at it. “But I know you’re upset about… that.” 

“We don’t need to talk about this right now,” she said. 

“Y/N…”

She didn’t say anything. Katara sighed and settled back down on the saddle. 

“Okay,” she nodded. “When you’re ready.”

Quiet conversation was made on the other side of the saddle between the three boys, but there was nothing between Katara and Y/N. 

Nothing except a newly found weight on both their shoulders. 

- 

The sizzling fuse exploded when they got back to camp, though. A ride spent staring at the sky didn’t do much for her. Y/N got down from Appa the moment Aang guided him to the ground, and Katara let out a hefty sigh as she followed after her. She started to say her name, but she didn’t get far. 

“Even you forgave him.” Her words were cold, icy rather than hot anger. “Even you! After everything we’ve talked about— everything you know!” 

“I— I know,” Katara said, and she let out a deep sigh as she ran a hand through her loose hair. “But… but he helped me in a way that no one ever had. I found my mother’s killer. I got closure.” 

“Well, maybe I should get him to help me find the guard who killed my father,” Y/N said sarcastically. “Maybe that’ll get me my bending back.” 

“It could,” Katara said, and she was actually genuine. “It could work. And Zuko would help you.” 

She huffed a mirthless laugh and shook her head, biting the inside of her lip to prevent the tears she knew would start welling up. “I’m not letting him back in. Even you said I shouldn’t.” 

“I can’t say I know how much you’re hurting,” Katara said, “but… but Zuko is hurting just as much as you. There’s no excuse for what he did, I’m not saying that. But he wants your forgiveness more than anything in the world.” 

“Did he tell you to say this during your trip?” she asked stiffly. “I mean, now that he’s turned you over to his side and everything.” 

“I’m saying this because I care about you,” Katara said softly. “Y/N, I have seen you hurting for months now, all because of Zuko. Even from the first moment we met in the North, I knew there was something inside of you, and it’s still there. And if you don’t take care of it, it’s going to consume you.” 

“I can’t forgive him.” Her voice was barely a whisper, a cracked, haunted resolve behind it. “I won’t let myself get hurt again.” 

“And I can’t promise that he won’t hurt you again,” Katara murmured. “But I do know if you decide to let him back in, he’ll spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to you.” 

Y/N wasn’t able to muster any words. She wrapped her arms around her midsection and turned away, blinking back tears. 

“He talked about you,” she continued. “When he wasn’t talking about the Fire Nation and where we were going, he was talking about you. He loved you back then, and he still loves you now. Even if it took him way too long to realize it.” Katara’s expression softened as well as her voice and she took a step closer. “All he wants is to help you however he can.” 

“If he loved me then and he still betrayed me,” she whispered, “then how can I ever trust him again?” 

“...You just have to,” Katara said quietly. “Trust in the Zuko you knew before you were forced to be on opposite sides. When the two of you were the missing half of each other’s souls.” 

She swallowed the lump in her throat, still unable to look back at Katara. “I can’t.” 

“Then at least don’t push us away,” Katara urged. “You’ve been off. I don’t know what it’s about, but you can tell me as little or as much as you want, whenever you’re ready. I’m here for you—we’re all here for you, Y/N. We love you so much. Let us help you.” 

She bit down on her lip hard to prevent the tears from welling up, and she was only able to muster a nod. “I will. Soon.” 

“...Okay.” 

Y/N walked off, and she could feel Katara’s worried gaze on her. It took all her strength not to look back. 

-

Three days. 

It all went on as usual. Suki asked if she was okay, but she didn’t push. 

Sokka wouldn’t stop looking at her strangely. He must have heard her leaving her tent in the middle of the night. 

-

Two days. 

The nightmares were worse. She nearly woke up screaming. Thankfully, she didn’t wake Katara. 

Aang sat with her during breakfast, telling ancient airbender stories. He didn’t ask anything when he had to repeat himself because of her blank stare at the ground. 

She spent most of the day sitting by the water. 

Maybe it would come back after this. 

-

One day. 

Everyone knew something was wrong, but she didn’t give any of them the chance to ask.

Especially Zuko. He wouldn’t stop looking at her, wouldn’t stop trying to talk to her. She brushed him off every time. 

She packed her bag that night. 

She barely slept a wink. 

-

“What are you doing?” 

Her plan was to leave at the crack of dawn, before her friends could ask any questions or try to go with her. She would be back by nightfall, and she would have closure. The nightmares would stop. The guilt would go away. She would be okay again. 

But of course, he had to ruin everything. 

She didn’t look over at the sound of Zuko’s voice as she rifled through her bag, making sure she had everything she needed. “Nothing.” 

“That doesn’t look like nothing.” 

“Very perceptive, aren’t you?” she said dryly. Y/N tied her bag shut and stood up, then climbed onto Appa’s back. “I’m leaving.” 

His eyes widened. “You’re leaving? Does everyone else know about this?” 

“Not leaving for good,” she scoffed. “I just have something I need to do.” 

“And that is?” 

Y/N glared fully at Zuko. “None of your business.” 

“You’re taking Appa in the middle of the night to go somewhere,” he said, crossing his arms. “Every time someone’s tried to do that, it’s been for something important. Sokka was going to the Boiling Rock, and Katara wanted to find her mother’s killer. I’m guessing whatever you’re going to do is equally important, which means you’re gonna need backup.” 

“I said it was none of your business,” she repeated. “I can handle myself just fine without you.”

“Well,” Zuko crossed his arms, “I’m not leaving until you tell me what you’re doing.” 

“You’re the most annoying person I’ve ever met,” she jabbed. 

“You’re the most stubborn person I’ve ever met,” he responded with a shrug.  

She went silent for a moment as her gaze traveled away, staring instead at the dark night sky. Today had been the hardest day yet, even looking back on her months in captivity. It was the day everything changed. She didn’t exactly know what possessed her to tell Zuko the reason, but after a moment, she did. 

“Seven years ago today, my village was invaded,” she said quietly. “It’s the day my mother and I were captured, and… and the day my father was killed.” 

Zuko’s eyes widened, and his voice was the same as hers when he finally mustered something. “I… I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.” 

“So am I,” she said, “but apologies haven’t helped me with anything. I’m going back. I’m visiting my village for the first time since my mother and I were taken. Now that I have the means to travel there, it’s something I need to do.” 

“I understand,” Zuko said, “completely. I’ll come with you.” 

Her response was instantaneous. “No.” 

“You can’t travel that far alone,” he insisted. “I have no doubt that you can handle yourself, but you’ve trained to fight with your bending, and right now you don’t have it. If you run into any kind of trouble, you’re… well, you’re gonna be in trouble.” 

“I can fight,” she said. “I’m good with my fists. I held my own against Azula.” 

“You did,” he admitted, “but her skill also isn’t in her hand to hand. And if you’re up against multiple people—say, Fire Nation guards—you’re gonna go down quick.” 

“You have just as much faith in me as ever,” she remarked sourly. 

“It’s not that I don’t have faith in you!” Zuko defended. “I just don’t want you to die because you have too much pride to accept any kind of help.” 

“It’s not that I don’t want any help,” she stated. “I just don’t want your help.” 

Zuko let out a long-lasting sigh, shaking his head before he finally met her eyes again. “Look. I know you don’t like me, and you don’t have to. Not after… not after what I did. But whatever’s between us can’t affect our mission, because ultimately we’re all here to defeat my father. That has to happen no matter what, so like it or not, we’re probably gonna have to work together at least once to make that happen.” 

“I don’t have to work with you if I don’t want to,” she said. 

“Really? So if we’re in the middle of a fight and your choice is to either work with me or die, what would you do?” 

“I’m not that stupid,” she snapped. 

Annoyingly, though… he had a point. They couldn’t afford any distractions, not so close to the end. And Y/N wouldn’t be the reason for their failure because of Zuko. 

“...Fine,” she relented, but the glare she pinned him with was still withering. “But you do whatever I tell you to do, and you don’t come with me when we get to my village. This is private.” 

Zuko immediately broke out into a grin and he nodded. “Of course. I’m here for you.” 

She averted her gaze as she took her seat on Appa’s head. “Get your things before I leave you here.” 

He nodded again and he started off towards his tent. Y/N let out a loose sigh as she rubbed her hands up and down her arms, the early morning chill beginning to get to her. 

A trip with Zuko to her childhood village on the anniversary of the worst day of her life. 

This couldn’t go terribly at all, she thought wryly. 

-

“...So,” Zuko said, “do you know where we’re going?” 

“No,” she said, “I just thought I would lead Appa around blindly and hope that we somehow end up in the right place.” 

“So you do know—” 

“Of course I know where we’re going,” Y/N snapped. Maybe it was unfair of her, but she didn’t exactly care. “Sokka took a map from Wan Shi Tong’s library before it collapsed, and he let me borrow it. It’ll take us a couple of hours, but we should make it before noon.” 

Zuko nodded. “Where is your village? You never told me much about it when you talked about your past.” 

“Why do you care?” 

He huffed a laugh. “You can’t be serious.” 

She said nothing, and Zuko sighed. “I care about you, Y/N, more than anything. I’m here because I want to help you. Of course I care about where you’re from.” 

“That doesn’t mean we need all the small talk,” she said. 

“It’s not small talk, it’s a conversation,” Zuko said dryly. “I’m more than happy to sit here in silence with you for another six hours, but I think that’s pretty boring.” 

“...It’s by the southern coast, near the Zeizhou provinces,” she relented after a moment. “It’s so small that you can’t find it on a map unless you know what you’re looking for. We didn’t even have an official name—if we had to, we called it South Zeizhou because that was the only notable thing near us.” 

“What was it like?” he asked. “Growing up in a place like that.” 

“It was nice,” she said. “We were almost completely isolated from other villages, so we were tightly knit. Everyone knew each other—I’m sure I knew each person by name by the time I was five—and everyone helped each other. We didn’t have much, but everyone was well taken care of. Our community was everything.” 

“That sounds beautiful,” Zuko murmured. 

“It was,” she agreed. “Until your people invaded it and destroyed it.” 

Zuko went silent at that, but instead of the sick sort of satisfaction she normally experienced, she felt… guilty. 

It wasn’t his fault. Zuko was only a year older than her—when her village was invaded, he was probably in school lessons or learning how to be a prince. And now he was here, going against everything he knew, everything he’d ever had, to try and make things right. 

He was a child just like her. And with a father like Fire Lord Ozai… 

“...I’m sorry,” she said, and his eyes darted up, a bit of shock visible in them. “I know it wasn’t your fault. I just…” she sighed. “I’ve never forgiven the Fire Nation for what was done to my people. And I guess you’re just the easiest target.” 

“I understand,” he murmured. “And for whatever it’s worth, I’m sorry too.” 

“This doesn’t mean anything.” The words were quick to leave her mouth, and she didn’t look at him. “Just because I feel bad doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven you.” Nevertheless, she could still hear the smile in his voice. 

“I know.” 

More silence. 

“What was your father like?” Zuko asked as he broke it. “You speak of him so fondly.” 

She bit her lip at the question as the memories flooded back, and Zuko was stumbling over his words almost immediately. 

“You— you don’t have to answer,” he said, “obviously, if it’s too much, but I—” 

“He was the nicest man you’d ever meet,” she said softly. “He was always willing to help anyone who needed it, always willing to do far more than he had to if he thought it would make someone happy. And he did—he made my mother the happiest woman alive. He was beloved by everyone in the village.” Y/N swallowed hard. “He died to protect it. To protect me.” 

“You’ve made him proud,” Zuko said. “I know you have.” 

“I hope so,” she murmured. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

She meant to leave it at that, but for some reason, the words continued to flow. “But I… I’m worried about what will happen when I get there.” that they won’t recognize me when I come back.” 

Zuko frowned. “What do you mean?”

“It’s been years since I was there.” Y/N let go of the reins and wrung her hands together. She glanced down at the bandages, the rough fabric almost a comfort after her time without them. “I haven’t been back since I was captured. What if they resent me for not being there?” 

“No one could possibly resent you for that,” he scoffed. “You were taken, Y/N, by soldiers. You were a child—what could you have done?” 

“Anything,” she muttered. “If I had done anything, maybe things would have been different.” 

“You can’t do that to yourself,” Zuko insisted. “You’ll drive yourself insane going down that path.” 

She shrugged. “That doesn’t mean it isn’t true.” 

“Look at me.” 

Y/N frowned. “What?” 

“Turn around and look at me,” he said again. “And don’t do your stubborn I hate Zuko thing. Just humor me for once.” 

She scoffed and crossed her arms as she turned around, looking him in the eye. “What?” 

“Do you think it’s Katara’s fault that her mother is dead?” 

The jump to the topic made her blink, recoiling the slightest bit. “What? No— spirits, of course not.” 

“But she died to save her,” Zuko said. “The raiders were there looking for the last waterbender, and that was Katara. Her mother gave herself up in place of her.” 

“That’s not her fault,” she said. “Her mother ch—” 

It hit her then, and her eyes narrowed. “You’re not clever.” 

The slightest smile tugged at Zuko’s lips and he shrugged. “It worked, didn’t it?” 

“You’re not clever,” she simply repeated, and she turned back around and grabbed the reins. She couldn’t see Zuko’s pleased expression as he adjusted his position in the saddle. 

“Just trying to help,” he said, and his voice softened. “You’ve made your father proud, even if you don’t think so. You’ve made both your parents proud.” 

She didn’t respond. She feared that if she tried to, the tears would spring. And she wasn’t going to cry. 

But she appreciated his words more than he knew. Maybe even more than she knew. 

But she couldn’t say that. And so they rode in silence. 

-

“We’re almost here,” she announced, and she lightly tugged at Appa’s reins to get him to slow down. It had been a few hours of silent flying and navigating, but they’d made good time. By the spot of the sun in the sky, she could tell it was just before noon. 

“Good,” he said. 

They had been in the air for hours, starting even before the sun had risen, so it was no surprise when she glanced behind her and saw Zuko fighting off grogginess in the form of a barely stifled yawn. 

“You didn’t have to come, you know,” she said, maybe a little too snippy. 

“I wasn’t going to let you go alone,” Zuko said. “And even though you might not think so, I like being around you. I…” he sighed and shook his head. “Nevermind.” 

“What?”

“I just want things to be the way they used to be,” he murmured. “But I know that can’t happen. And I know you’re tired of hearing it.” 

“...I want that too,” she said quietly after a moment of hesitation. 

She heard the rustling of leather and a sharp intake of breath, and it wasn’t hard to tell he was shocked by her words. And maybe she was shocked too, because she knew she meant them completely. 

“Y/N,” Zuko started, “you—” 

But then he was interrupted by her gasp. 

“What?” he asked, only a moment of hesitation before he switched veins. He moved up beside her, and his eyes widened. “Flames of Agni…” 

In the distance, she could see where the forest abruptly stopped. It went on for kilometers, the ashy remnants of fauna and chopped stumps. So much of the forest was just— was just gone. And in the center of it all…

Her village was unrecognizable. Houses made of wood and stone had been torn down and replaced with metal buildings, and the few original buildings that still were in disrepair, riddled with scorch marks and on the verge of falling apart. She could see armed Fire Nation soldiers manning certain spots around the village, as well as marching through the streets. They numbered far more than anyone in simple Earth Kingdom garb. 

Flags and banners with Fire Nation insignias hung everywhere, but the worst part was the factory. It was as big as ten of their old homes, black, polished metal only good for serving as an eyesore. It pumped out acrid black smoke, and even from so far away it made her eyes sting. Her hands clenched into fists around the reins, and anger swelled up inside of her. 

Everything that was held sacred in her village was gone, ruined by the Fire Nation for their own gain. Just like everything else in the world.

And she hadn’t even known about it. 

“The Fire Nation is still here,” she said shakily. “I… I don’t know what I expected. I thought they would move on after the raid, but…” She barely managed to choke back a sob by clenching her jaw tightly. “They destroyed it all.” 

“I’m so sorry.” There was horror in Zuko’s voice, and like her, he was unable to look away from the devastation. “I… If I had known…” 

“Sorry isn’t going to fix anything,” she said bitterly, but it was more pained than anything. 

“Then we will fix it,” he countered. Her eyes flicked up to him, the smallest bit of surprise visible. “We’ll take your village back and get the Fire Nation out, once and for all.” 

Y/N’s grip tightened even further on the reins, her nails digging deep into her palms as she nodded. Her eyes hardened as they moved back to her village, and she nodded resolutely. 

“You’re damn right we will.” 

-

“Are you okay?” 

“Of course I’m not okay,” she said. She wanted to snap at him, but she didn’t have the energy. Not after what she’d seen. 

She and Zuko had set up camp a while away from her village, deep in what remained of the forest to give Appa enough cover. Though she wanted to light a fire, she knew it was too risky. And so they sat together on the ashy, barren ground, the air between them heavier than ever. 

They were going to take back her village, that much was a given. The only question was how. 

“You’re right,” he murmured. “It was a stupid question.” 

“I just don’t understand,” she said weakly as she sat back on the ground. “Why would they stay in our village? We’re so far off the map that it’s probably costing them more to be here than not.”

“That’s what the Fire Nation does,” Zuko said. “They destroy everything they get their hands on.”

When Y/N looked up at him, he was staring at the ground, his jaw clenched. 

“It’s about breaking their spirit,” he continued. “If they just left, your people could fight back. Get revenge for the invasion. But if they take over completely—”

“They crush an uprising before it has the chance to grow,” she murmured, “and they gain a workforce and all the natural resources they could want.”

“Yeah.”

Zuko’s voice was oddly quiet, stilted in a way she couldn’t place. She couldn’t stop herself from asking.

“What happened when you went back to the Fire Nation?”

Zuko glanced at her, swallowing hard before he looked away. “I’m not sure you want to know.”

“I do,” she said. “And I think I have the right to know.”

“Mai and I got together.” He sounded almost embarrassed, and she hated the twist of jealousy in her chest. “We talked during the entire boat ride home, and it went from there.”

“Oh,” she said stiffly. “So while I was sentenced to rot in prison for the rest of my life, you were getting busy with the girl who’s loved you her whole life.”

His cheeks flushed bright red in spite of the obvious anger. “That’s not what it was!”

“Really? Because that’s exactly what it sounds like.”

“We were both struggling,” he insisted. “I… I wasn’t handling Ba Sing Se well, and Mai was having doubts about everything. We gravitated towards each other in our misery, and— and it just happened.”

“You can’t honestly believe that’s true,” she snapped.

“You don’t know anything about Mai if you think it isn’t!” he exclaimed. “Neither of us were—”

“What?” she asked, brazen in his silence as he suddenly cut off. “You weren’t what?”

“…We realized that we didn’t like each other in that way,” he finished in a mumble. “Expectations pushed us together. Our own feelings pulled us apart.” Zuko looked back at her this time. “We couldn’t ignore our… our true feelings.”

“And what are those true feelings?” she asked. She couldn’t help the mocking tone in her voice, but the anger was beginning to come back. Mai had never been mean to her back in the palace, but it was hard to forget Omashu and Ba Sing Se. And it wasn’t exactly nice to hear that she and Zuko got together right after she was sentenced to a life in prison. 

“I love you,” he said, “and you know that. But Mai, she—” Zuko shook his head and glanced away. 

“What?” she repeated. 

“...Do you remember Ty Lee?” 

She frowned. “Yeah. She’s tried to kill me a couple times.” 

“That’s who,” he said, and her eyes widened slightly. “They’ve always been close, but… I don’t know. Maybe the pressure of working under my sister brought them together. Maybe me being as horrible as I was pushed her away. But all I know is that Mai has feelings for her, and none for me. And I’m okay with that.” 

“...Ty Lee,” Y/N said, and she managed a chuckle. “I think that’s the last pair I expected.” 

Zuko cracked a smile. “It works, though. I hope they can figure something out.” 

“Yeah,” she mumbled. “Me too.” 

But then Zuko’s expression sobered again as he looked at her, his gaze as piercing as ever. “You know I don’t like her. You know there’s nothing between us. A—and you said you wanted things to be the way they used to be.” His voice was low, but there was no mistaking the edge of desperation in it. “So why can’t they be?” 

“Why does it always come back to us?” she asked bitterly. 

“Because I want there to be an us again so badly,” he said. Zuko’s voice was so genuine it pained her, and she hated how easily he was cracking her resolve. 

The walls used to be easy to keep up, used to be gratifying. But now all it did was hurt. The night was cold, and she longed for his embrace. 

But Zuko was fire. Beautiful, inviting, full of warmth, but able to hurt her just as easily. 

And spirits, that was all she could think about as the scar on her arm stung. The burns on her hands had faded, and Ba Sing Se’s mark was nearly gone as well, but she couldn’t forget.  

“Maybe there can’t be an us again,” she mumbled as she stood up. “And maybe we just both have to accept that.” 

The look in Zuko’s eyes hurt, his downcast expression combined with the same longing she felt. So she walked away towards the forest, or rather what remained of it. 

“I’m going to scout out our surroundings,” she said, though it was half-hearted. “I’ll be back when the sun starts setting. We’ll figure out a plan at nightfall.” 

She’d disappeared into the woods soon enough. If Zuko said something, she didn’t hear it. 

-

She held true to her word, and she was back by nightfall. Zuko had drawn a map of her village in the dirt with a stick, and though it was crude it was accurate. It turned out he had a better memory than she thought, and it also seemed that when they were working towards something like this, it was easier to work through the tension. 

It took the better part of an hour for them to come up with something and actually agree on it, and it was still shakier than he liked—a lot of it relied on her people remembering Y/N the way that she remembered them. But it was a plan, and it could work, so it was good enough. 

Soon enough, they were back on Appa, riding through the inky sky towards her village. Dressed in black from spares Zuko had in his bag—the same outfit he lended Katara during her mission, she was sure—they blended in perfectly. 

“We’re here,” she whispered, and Zuko nodded as he sheathed his sword and moved up next to her on Appa’s head. “Do you remember the plan?” 

“Of course I do,” he said. “Are you dropping down here?” 

“Yeah. I’ll signal when I’m ready for you.” 

He nodded again. “Good luck, Y/N.” 

“...Thanks.” 

She guided Appa closer to the ground, handing the reins off to Zuko when she thought she was close enough. She slid off as quietly as she could, her moccasins doing little to help with the shock of landing but good enough at muffling her movements. There were fewer guards than before, but it still made her nervous. 

Y/N didn’t even dare to breathe as she moved through her village, ducking behind cover when she needed to as she made her way towards one of the only remaining houses. Despite the Fire Nation banner hanging across the front, it still felt like it was her village rather than another forced colony. 

That was something, she supposed. 

She pushed the door open quietly and pulled the fabric down from her face, checking once more to make sure there were no guards before she closed it. And when she turned around, she was met by a wide-eyed woman and a stark-faced man darting up from his spot on the floor. 

It probably wasn’t the best look, showing up dressed in all black in the middle of the night while the village is occupied by soldiers. She could only hope they would recognize her. 

“What are you doing in our home?” he demanded, but his wife shook her head. 

“I must be dreaming,” she whispered, and she stood up as well. “Y/N? Is… is that you?” 

“Leya,” Y/N said, and she felt the pinpricks of tears behind her eyes, “you remember.” 

Leya laughed and clasped her hands together as she moved closer and pulled her into an embrace. “Of course I remember you, darling! How could I forget the little waterbender who always managed to soak my laundry just as it had finished drying?” 

“Gan’s girl,” the man—Lao—marveled, and he laughed as well. “What in Kyoshi’s name are you doing here?” 

“It’s hard to explain,” she said, slightly sheepish as she pulled out of Leya’s hug. “But basically… I’m here to save the village.” 

Lao shook his head with a smile—that same smile she remembered from her youth, a mix of approval and surprise. “You haven’t been here since the invasion and now you’re here to save our village. You haven’t changed a bit.” 

“What can I say?” she said with a slight laugh. “I’ve been busy with the Avatar.” 

“The Avatar?” Leya asked, and Y/N held up her hand. 

“As much as I’d love to tell you both what I’ve been up to all these years, we’re working on a schedule.”

“‘We’?” Lao caught. “Who else is here with you?” 

She didn’t think she could exactly say the crown prince of the Fire Nation, no matter how reformed he claimed to be.

“A friend of the Avatar,” she decided. “He’s waiting for my signal. That’s when the action’s going to start.” 

“What exactly is your plan?” Leya asked tentatively. “I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but our numbers aren’t the highest. Those who haven’t been sent away as laborers had their spirits broken long ago. There are very few with any kind of fight left in them.” 

“That’s okay,” she said. “I’ve got more than enough fight in me for this whole village. But I need your help.” 

Lao nodded. “Anything.” 

She smiled, a miniscule amount of weight dropping off her shoulders in relief. “Good.” 

-

Appa was stashed securely in the woods, a rucksack full of moon peaches to keep him happy and quiet, but Zuko was still nervous. 

How couldn’t he be, hiding behind a gaudy metal structure pretending to be a house that fit into this village? He was only the traitor boy prince of the Fire Nation, most likely with a wanted poster and a bounty on his head courtesy of his father. 

He wasn’t scared, though. 

Nervous? Sure. But he couldn’t wait to give these soldiers what they deserved. 

Zuko’s eyes snapped towards the sudden movement across the way—the Fire Nation banner had been ripped down from the house Y/N went into, and the woman who did it held her fist in the air for a moment before darting back inside. 

The signal. 

It was time. 

Zuko took a deep breath, pulled his broadswords out of their sheaths, and started moving. 

It didn’t take long to find a guard, standing at his assignment near some light post. Zuko dashed behind him and brought his swords up to his neck. 

“Stay quiet if you want to keep your head,” he said. “Nod if you understand.” 

The guard nodded, but Zuko saw his hand clenching into a fist. He moved one sword down, and he froze in place as the sharp edge settled against his skin. 

“No firebending either,” he growled. “You wanna test my patience some more, or are you ready to cooperate?” 

“I— I’ll cooperate,” he stammered. “Just don’t hurt me, please. What do you want?” 

It was almost pathetic. These people took over an innocent village, and now they were so confident that they stationed guards like this. Zuko wondered if this man even knew what had been done here. 

“Good,” Zuko said. “Who’s in charge here?” 

“General Lee,” he said, and Zuko had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. Of course. “He— he’s the one who took over this place at the beginning. The one who ordered the invasion.” 

“And where is he?” 

“The biggest house at the end of the lane,” he said. “You— you can’t miss it.” 

Zuko thanked the soldier for his information by knocking the flat end of one blade against his head, and he took a step back as the man fell to the ground, unconscious. 

Step one complete. 

-

“How is your earthbending?” Y/N asked. She and Lao moved swiftly through the village under the cover of darkness, avoiding soldiers where they were stationed as they conversed in low voices. 

“Not as sharp as it used to be,” Lao said. “I’ve been hiding it since the invasion—otherwise they would have killed me or sent me away. What do you need it for?” 

Once again, that sheepishness came back. The plan she and Zuko created sounded very outlandish when she said it out loud. 

“I want to destroy the factory.” 

“You certainly don't aim low, huh?” Lao chuckled a bit, but he flexed his hands nonetheless. He moved his fist forward and a short pillar of solid rock shot up from the ground. “I’ve still got some of it, at least.”

“That’s why I asked for your help,” she said. “The Fire Nation builds everything out of metal, but I think they forget that rocks are pretty effective against it.” 

Lao smiled as he sent the rock back down into the earth. “I like how you think.” 

She smiled as well, but her head shot up at the movement near them. She stepped protectively in front of Lao, her instincts above anything, but the tension dissolved when she saw it was just Zuko. 

“Did you find out where he is?” she asked, and he nodded. 

“His name is Lee— General Lee,” he said. “The last house,” he pointed, “that way. You can’t miss it.” 

“Good.” She cracked her knuckles. “I have some things I’d like to say to him.” 

“Y/N,” he said, “he’s…” 

“What?” 

“He’s the one who did all of this,” Zuko said. “The one who ordered the invasion. He’s been here ever since.” 

Her jaw clenched as she felt fire ignite inside of her. “Then maybe I have a little bit more to say to him.” 

“Take this.” Zuko took one of his swords off along with its sheath and handed it to her. “Just in case.” 

She nodded, taking some satisfaction in her practice swings before she stashed it across her back, then she looked at Lao. “You two are going to take down the factory together. Is anyone in it still?” 

He shook his head. “Shifts ended a few hours ago. It should be completely empty.” 

“Good.” Y/N looked at Zuko. “How do you feel about causing some explosions?” 

He smirked. “Pretty great.” 

“And how do you feel about crushing a lot of stuff?” she asked, turning to Lao. 

“Even better.” 

“Great,” she smiled. “Obviously, this is going to make a lot of noise. Get out when you feel danger—we might have to bring this fight to the streets.” 

Lao cracked his knuckles. “Gladly. It’s about time we take our home back.” 

“Laya’s alerted the people?” Y/N asked. 

He nodded. “She’s gone house to house—she should be near the end by now. She and the rest of our people will be safe, and anyone who’s willing to fight will be ready for my signal.” 

“Then I think it’s time we split,” Y/N said. 

“Be careful,” Zuko said. “Don’t let your anger blind you.” 

“I’ll do what I have to do,” she said simply. 

Zuko nodded in understanding. “See you on the other side, then.” 

“See you on the other side,” she murmured. 

-

Y/N got used to the weight of the broadsword in her hand as she moved through the village yet again. She was surprised at how easy it was, how inattentive the few guards were. Their confidence would be their downfall. 

It wasn’t hard to find the house of the general. It was so massive it edged on gaudy, obviously built for nothing but the man’s ego. The door wasn’t locked, and she just shook her head as she slid inside. This was ridiculous. 

She closed the door as quietly as she could behind her, and she held her breath as she looked around the first floor. It was eerily empty, eerily silent. Maybe he wasn’t here. 

Y/N tightened the grip on the hilt of the sword as she crept up the stairs, wincing at every creak. The whole upstairs was the general’s room, and she shook her head. This was more luxury than anyone in the village lived in. He’d built his comfort off the pain of her people. 

“Would you like to tell me what you’re doing in my home?” 

She whipped around, her sword instinctively flying up as she stared right at her target. So he was here, and he’d been just as quiet as her. He was younger than she expected, but his eyes told everything she needed to know. 

“General Lee,” she said, and she was surprised at how steady her voice was. “This isn’t your home.” 

“Isn’t it?” He was dressed in a simple tunic and pants, no armor in sight. Good. “I was here when it was built, and as far as I’m aware, it was built for my use.” 

“You took it from my people,” she said. “You took everything from us.” 

“I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific,” he said nonchalantly. “I’ve taken over a lot of villages.” 

“Do you not have any shame?” Y/N demanded, and she pointed her sword at him. He didn’t even flinch. “Destroying the lives of innocent people, tearing apart their homes for resources, occupying them just to show off your strength. You kill people, you destroy families, and you don’t even care?” 

The general had the nerve to smile. “It’s the way of the world. The weak fall, the strong prevail. I guess your people were just weak.” 

Y/N couldn’t control herself after that. She yelled out as she lunged forward and swung with her sword. The general sidestepped her as she whirled back around, and he just laughed. 

“You want to fight, girl?” General Lee mocked. “For what? Your people? Your honor? You won’t get far, I assure you.” 

“For my family!” she growled. “Your men killed my father and forced my mother and I into servitude. I’ve wanted revenge for so many years, and now I can finally get it.” 

His eyes lit with recognition and he raised his eyebrows. “The waterbenders. So you managed to escape—impressive.” 

And then suddenly, there were two massive explosions. They were all the way across town, but it still rocked the foundations of the house. The impact must’ve been felt all over town, surely alerting every guard on duty that something was wrong.

Step two was complete. 

It was Y/N’s turn to smile at the general. “There goes your factory.” 

The general’s mocking confidence melted into cold anger. “You—” 

“Blew it up,” she responded. “Yeah.” 

She lashed out with her sword to force him out of the way, then booked it down the stairs and out of the house. She laughed in pure exhilaration as she saw all of the guards in the street, as well as the general running out of his house. The fire blazing in his hand matched the anger in his eyes. 

“You want a fight, girl?” he growled. “I’ll give you one!” 

General Lee launched the fireball at her and she dodged out of the way, watching as it sizzled against the ground. She held her sword in both hands, beckoning him to come further. It wouldn’t be an easy fight to win against an enraged firebender, but then again—she’d done it before. 

He was far too eager to go against a young girl as he shot fire at her in repetitive blasts. She dodged what she could and slashed through the others with her sword, lunging at him with the blade when Lee gave her space. 

But then fire shot past, narrowly missing her, and her head whipped around. It took these soldiers long enough to realize the fight was happening right next to them. 

“Come on, Zuko,” she muttered as she backed away from the men, the general and the soldiers narrowing in on her. She brandished her sword. “Where are you?”

“You’ve picked a battle that you can’t finish,” General Lee spat as fire lit in his hand, “just like your father!”

Rage hotter than anything before ignited inside of her. And then, everything happened at once. 

The general and his soldiers shot their fire at her. 

Someone yelled at her to duck, and she dropped to the ground. 

As the fire was extinguished above her, General Lee’s eyes widened. He took a step back. “What in Agni’s name—” 

“I’m not too late, am I?” Zuko reached a hand down to her, and Y/N let out a relieved breath. 

“Right on time,” she remarked as she took it and allowed him to help her up. “I’m in a bit of a situation.” 

“I noticed.” Zuko turned to the general and gestured with his head behind them. “I’m sorry, general, but I think someone blew up your factory!”

“Prince Zuko,” he said sourly. “So you’re a traitor as well.”

“I’m not a traitor,” he said, stepping in front of Y/N ever so slightly. “I’m helping free these people from your glorified slavery.”

The general’s eyes narrowed. “So all it takes for the crown prince to give up his values is a pretty face.”

“You’re a sick man,” Zuko spat. “Take your soldiers, leave this village, and we’ll give you the mercy you never extended to her people.”

“I don’t think so,” Lee said, and he smiled. “Don’t worry, though—this’ll all be over soon. Unless you think you can go against every soldier here on your own.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time we’ve been outnumbered,” Y/N said, and she drew her sword. “Besides—”

“—They’ve got help,” someone interrupted. She looked behind her and saw Lao, followed by a myriad of villagers—some earthbenders, some that were just ready to end this. More than she thought still lived here, more willing to fight than she thought. 

So everyone’s spirit wasn’t broken. 

She smiled. Step three. 

“So you want to make this harder,” General Lee said. “I admire your tenacity, but it won’t do you much good.”

“We’ll see,” Zuko said. 

Lee didn’t even say anything before he started firebending, and Zuko blocked it yet again. The battle immediately escalated from there, earthbenders and soldiers and swordsmen fighting. It was mostly visible in flashes of fire and the occasional lamppost, but it was loud.

Y/N and Zuko fought side by side against the general, their moves seamless—whenever one fell back, the other would step forward. She was surprisingly good with a sword, but it might’ve been her adrenaline.

With the amount of energy and anger pumping through her veins, she was sure she could take on anything at that moment. And having Zuko with her… She would be lying if she said it didn’t help. 

It was a deadly dance between the three of them. Y/N’s sword sung as it cut through the air, and it was in sharp contrast to the explosions of fire in the background and the general’s own bending against them. 

Maybe it was that adrenaline inside of her, or maybe it was the thought of finally getting to deliver justice for her village. Maybe the spirits were finally on her side. But whatever it was, General Lee ended up stumbling as he dodged the sword’s jab at him, and it gave her enough time for Zuko to kick him in the chest and send him backwards. Y/N took the opening and swept his legs, putting all her strength into the single move, and it worked. 

He fell to the ground, a slight grunt being forced out as he landed on his back, and Y/N pointed her sword at his neck. She took immense satisfaction in the flicker of fear in his eyes. 

“Zuko,” she said placidly, “go help the others.” 

He looked at her for a good, long moment before he conceded with a step back. “Don’t do anything you’ll regret.” 

“I won’t regret this,” she murmured. 

Zuko’s gaze remained on her for another moment before he turned and ran back into the fray. Y/N could do nothing but stare down at the general. The man who took everything away from her in one short afternoon, now defenseless below her blade. 

“So,” she said, “after all this time, all it took was one fight for you to fall.” 

The general gave her a wry smile. “It wasn’t exactly a fair fight.” 

“Neither was the invasion of my village. But that didn’t stop you, did it?” 

“You savages have never understood,” he growled. “No great leader has ever gotten anywhere by being nice, by yielding to the demands of those lesser than him. There’s a reason the Fire Nation is at the world’s helm while every other nation continues to fall to its feet.” 

“Because you go after the defenseless!” she exclaimed. “You go after those who can’t do anything against you, and then you destroy everything you find. All you care about is power.” Y/N huffed a mirthless laugh and gestured around them. “And look where that’s gotten you.” 

“Yield,” she demanded before he had the chance to speak, moving her sword closer to his neck. “Yield, and leave this village, and I’ll let you leave with your life.”

The general laughed, followed by a wince as her blade nicked his skin. “Don’t you know anything about the Fire Nation? You served there for so long.”

“Yield!” she shouted, her voice trembling along with her grip. She just wanted this to be over. 

“We fight until death,” he continued. “You’re going to have to kill me if you want your way.”

“You think I won’t?” she challenged. ”You’ve taken everything from me! Your life is too small a price to pay for what you’ve done!”

“I think you’re weak,” he spat. “Too weak to do what you need to do.”

Her eyes stung with tears as she pulled the sword away from his neck.

General Lee huffed a laugh. “Like I said: you’re wea—”

He was stopped in the middle of his sentence as she plunged the sword into his heart. His eyes widened as he choked out his last breath, the light beginning to drain out of him. And then he was gone.

“I’m not weak anymore,” she murmured. 

Y/N stared at his lifeless body for a moment, glanced at the gleam of blood on metal. 

She had just killed a man. The one responsible for her father’s death, for the imprisonment of her and her mother, for the invasion of her village. 

Y/N didn’t feel remorse, didn’t feel satisfaction—but she felt whole. Like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

She sheathed her sword and walked away, back towards the chaos of the ongoing fight. Zuko had joined the others, fighting with a combination of his sword and his bending, and it worked wonders. For a moment, all she could do was watch him. The grace he fought with was akin to that of a waterbender. 

Lao moved like he was twenty years younger, working in tandem with other earthbenders as they took down the Fire Nation forces soldier by soldier. Toph would have been proud.

But now there was only one thing left to do. 

Y/N took a deep breath then cupped her hands around her mouth, yelling as loudly as she could. “Soldiers of the Fire Nation! Your general is dead!”

That was enough of a shock to knock them off their balance, because Zuko and the earthbenders all immobilized their foes. Zuko with a sword to the neck, Lao and his crew with rocks around their legs and other limbs. The fight died down quickly, all of them staring at her. Zuko’s expression was impossible to read. 

“You heard me,” she repeated, “General Lee is dead. You have no stake in this village anymore. Leave, or face the same fate as him.”

“Will you stand here and fight for a nation that doesn’t care about you?” Zuko shouted, catching on to her goal. “Or will you do what’s right and leave these people be?”

Silence hung in the air, only broken by the heaved breaths of soldiers and earthbenders alike. She stared at them all expectantly, her heart pounding in her chest. 

And then, the clatter of a sword against the ground.

“I surrender.” A soldier being held in place by rocks around her ankles had dropped her weapon, looking Y/N straight in the eye. “I’ve served the Fire Nation blindly for far too long.”

She nodded at the earthbender, and he retracted the stone around her. 

“Go,” Y/N said. “Back to wherever you came from.” 

“Your mercy…” the soldier murmured, and she shook her head. “Thank you for giving us a second chance. I know it means little, but I apologize. For everything.”

And then she walked off—in the direction of the shore, she noticed—and soon enough, she’d disappeared into the wood. They must’ve come in on ships. 

Slowly, the remaining soldiers either dropped their weapons or declared their own surrender, and one by one they were let go. The sound of clattering metal was music to her ears, and with each one the weight lifted a little more. 

The soldier in Zuko’s hold was the last to drop his sword, and Zuko kicked it away before removing his blade from his neck. As he walked away, she let out a sigh of relief.

“…We did it,” she said. “We finally did it.”

“You did it,” Zuko said as he sheathed his sword, doing the same to the other when Y/N handed it to him. “None of this would have been possible without you.” 

“Wouldn’t have been possible without you either,” she said, and the smallest smile tugged at his lips. 

Lao walked up to her, and he enveloped her in the biggest, tightest hug she’d felt since Katara’s at the air temple. She reciprocated immediately, tears springing into her eyes at the warmth he carried. 

“You did it,” he said, his voice and eyes full of pride as he pulled away, though his hands remained on her shoulders. “You’ve given us the freedom that none of us could attain in seven years. We owe everything to you, Y/N.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” she said, unable to help her grin, and she looked back at the other villagers. “Any of you—thank you so much. Tonight, you fought for our people! You fought for our village! And we’re finally free from the Fire Nation.” 

A wild cheer erupted from the group, and Y/N had to wipe away the tears that began to fall. They’d really done it. 

“Go, be with your families!” she exclaimed. “Celebrate with your loved ones! You deserve it—enjoy your freedom!” 

Several of the villagers clapped her on the shoulder or shook her hand as they began to wander around, returning back to their houses. She heard one discussing architectural plans, about what they would do with everything the Fire Nation left behind, as well as their houses. The smile wouldn’t leave her face. 

And then Zuko walked up, alerting her to his presence by clearing his throat. “Y/N,” he said, and she turned around. 

“What?” 

“First of all, congratulations.” His own small smile was there, and she felt her cheeks warm. “You freed your village from a seven year occupation. It’s amazing.” 

“It feels amazing.” She rubbed her arms, the cold of the night beginning to get to her as her adrenaline from the battle started to fade. “I can’t believe we did it.” 

“I’m not surprised,” Zuko said. “You can do anything you put your mind to—I’ve learned that twenty times over by now.” 

She chuckled a bit, but Zuko’s expression sobered. “But I have to ask. You… you killed the general.” 

The air between them immediately changed. “I did.” 

“How do you feel?” he asked. 

“I don’t feel happy,” Y/N said, “so you don’t have to worry about that. I’m not going to start killing everyone that’s ever wronged me.” 

Zuko laughed, though it was slightly nervous. “That’s, uh— that’s good.” 

“But I don’t feel sad either,” she said. “I just feel… right. Like it was something I had to do. Not just for my people, but for me. To know that he’ll never be able to hurt someone the way he hurt me.” 

“...Good,” Zuko repeated. “That’s all we can ask for, isn’t it?” 

She nodded. “But… I’d appreciate it if you kept this between us. At least until I’m ready to tell everyone.” 

“Of course,” he agreed. 

“Good,” she said. 

Y/N looked up at the sky, the sun having fully set. It was dark except for the bits of ashes that littered the battlefield and the lanterns that lit up the path through the village. But there was still something she needed to do. 

She looked back at Zuko. “I have something I need to see. And I want you to come with me. Is… is that okay?” 

He smiled, his voice soft when he spoke. “I’d love to.” 

- 

The path she led him down was one well-traveled by the people of her village—the inky darkness they walked through was penetrated only by the flames Zuko held in his hand at Y/N’s request. She knew she would be able to find her way without it, though. 

“Where are we going?” he asked. 

“Somewhere special,” Y/N answered. “Sad, but special. Somewhere I’ve thought about a lot since my mother and I were taken.” 

It took a few more minutes of walking in silence only disturbed by night ambiance. When they got there, Y/N let out a quiet sigh. There was unimaginable weight behind the sound. 

“We’re here.” 

“Where is ‘here’?” Zuko asked tentatively. But then he made the fire in his hand bigger and brighter, and his breath caught in his throat. 

“...Hi, Dad,” she said softly, her gaze focused on the headstone. “It’s me. Your little girl finally found her way back home.” 

“Y/N…” he murmured. 

“I’ve been wanting to come here for a long time, but I’ve never been able to,” she continued. “But you don’t have to worry anymore—the village is free. The Fire Nation is gone. And Mom is okay—she’s safe in Ba Sing Se, and after all of this is over, I’m going to find her again, and I’m going to take care of her. You don’t have to worry about us anymore.” Y/N chuckled. “I’m sure I’ve been driving you crazy with everything I’ve been doing lately. But you can rest in peace now.”  

“Are you sure you want me here?” he asked. “I— I don’t want to disturb you—” 

She shook her head, placing her hand lightly on his arm. “Stay. Please.�� 

“...Okay,” he said. “Of course.” 

“This is Zuko,” she said, and she laughed a bit as he hesitantly waved. “He’s… he’s the most important person in my life.” 

His eyes widened a bit and he looked at her, but her only response was to wordlessly slip her hand into his. He didn’t hesitate to lace his fingers through hers. 

“We’ve been through a lot together, and I’ve… I’ve been really angry at him lately. And I thought it was good, righteous anger, but all it did was eat me up inside. I’ve been miserable because of it—I even lost my bending. But now… now, I understand.” 

She looked at Zuko now. His gaze hadn’t moved. 

“I love you,” she said, “and I mean that with everything in me. I’ve been so angry at you because of what you did that I haven’t let myself think about anything that you’ve done—and you’ve helped my friends so much since you joined them. You’ve helped me too, even when I claimed I didn’t need anyone.” 

“And all this time, I thought that letting you go was what I needed to do. But I couldn’t have been more wrong.” She tightened her grip on his hand—her lifeline. “I’ve lost so much in my life, Zuko, things that I can’t get back. And I’m not going to let myself lose you again.” 

Y/N pressed a gentle kiss to Zuko’s lips, and he extinguished the fire in his hand as he immediately reciprocated it. It was impossibly soft, impossibly right. And Y/N knew then that this was exactly where she was supposed to be. 

“I love you too,” he murmured, and his eyes shone even in the darkness. “More than anything. And I’m so sorry that I ever made you think anything else.” 

She pulled away from the kiss to embrace him, and when his arms wrapped around her, it was like home. The constant twist in her chest, the constant weight she’d been carrying for months—it dissipated, and she felt lighter than ever. Spirits, it all felt so right. 

And when they pulled away, Y/N rested her head on Zuko’s chest. He responded by wrapping his arm around her waist, pulling her in close. 

“Thank you for taking me here,” he said. “For trusting me enough with it.” 

“Thank you for never giving up on me,” she said. 

“Speaking of that…” Zuko said, and there was a slight lilt to his voice as he lit the fire in his hand again. “How about trying that bending again?” 

Y/N chuckled a bit as she looked at her hand, flexing her fingers the way she used to. She barely had to concentrate as she pulled moisture from the air, forming into an orb of water in the air. She wasn’t even shocked—she’d known, after they got here. It wasn’t anything concrete, just… a feeling. A feeling that order had returned. 

“It’s back,” he said, and the boyish surprise in his voice made her smile. 

“That it is.” 

Y/N formed it into a flower and then froze it, gingerly taking the stem in her fingers. She walked up to her father’s grave, running her fingers over the engravings. She wasn’t here when it was made, but she was so thankful it had been made. That her people had always been thinking of her and her family. 

GAN 

HUSBAND OF KURA, FATHER OF Y/N

48 AG-93 AG

WILL BE REMEMBERED FOR HIS LOVE AND HEROICS

It was bittersweet, but she was glad he had a spot here. He would always be remembered. 

She carefully placed the flower of ice against the headstone, lowering the temperature of her breath as she blew on it to preserve it longer. It would melt eventually, of course, but this wouldn’t be her last time here. Next time, there would be real flowers. 

“I love you, Dad,” she murmured, resting her head against the stone as she closed her eyes. “Forever and always.” She stayed there for a moment, and the gentle breeze that blew through the enclave was no coincidence. For the first time in a very, very long time, she felt peace inside. 

She stood back up with a sad smile, wiping at the tears before she turned to Zuko. “I’m ready.” 

“Are you sure?” 

Y/N nodded. “I am.” 

Zuko nodded too, and they started to walk together down the path. 

And when he offered his hand, she took it without hesitation. 

-

hope you enjoyed this mf emotional marathon of a chapter lmao im gonna go hibernate for a few months because jfc

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#zuko x reader #zuko x you #zuko x reader fic #zuko #zuko fic #avatar #avatar the last airbender #atla #avatar fic #atla fic #avatar the last airbender fic #atla x reader #avatar x reader #sadie writes #ehfar

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

🍕to find this later

Aita: i called the pizza my husband was eating nasty

For some context, this will seem random but it may factor into emotions right now

My husbands best friend just moved in with us 3 days ago

My mother in laws dog was diagnosed with cancer today, and will be put down tomorrow. Everyone is very heartbroken

We were in the car after getting some groceries and my husband mentioned he was thinking of picking up pizza since he knows no one has eaten much today and definitely wont feel like cooking

I dont like pizza much, i especially dont like little caesers, im very very open about this and always have been. If im ever given a choice i never choose little caesers, but if i am hungry enough ill eat a slice or two.

We all have really dark senses of humor and often poke fun of each other and of each other's interests and laugh it off no big deal. We do this daily

So I'm sitting in the bedroom playing games, my husband and his best friend are hanging out in the living room. My husband comes over to the bedroom and says hey Im going to pick up pizza Ill be right back

Time passes and the pizza comes and everyone goes and sits at the dining room table to eat. Theres three boxes, two different types of pizza, my husbands favorite, stuffed crust, and my usual favorite thin crust. Everyones talking and I don't remember exactly what was said but my husband mentions something about thin crust my favorite or something like that. I say something like "actually with little ceasers i prefer the normal pizza the thin crust doesnt have much sauce and i like the sauce". I finish eating and get on to my handheld console and keep playing my game, half paying attention to the conversation. At some point, I honestly don't remember at all what I said or what was being said, but I remember vaguely my husband saying the box they got is "normal pizza" and i said no its not his is stuffed crust which is nasty. I was being playful, i dont like pizza to begin with, i like the crust even less, and stuffed crust just really really isnt my thing.

A few minutes later i notice my phone has a notification, i look to see a text from my husband saying I was being rude because his friend paid for the food.

I was at first extremely confused, was me playing games at the table rude? They were using their phones while eating and talking so i didnt think so. Was it because i said i didnt like the thin crust? At this point i genuinely dont remember saying the stuffed crust is nasty and dont understand what i did wrong. I text him back asking what he was talking about and he says that i called the food nasty. I thought about it and vaguely recall saying it Playfully but again i was paying attention to my game and not so much to what was being said so i dont even remember for sure.

I got really upset and kind of mad, I had just been joking and i never say ugly things to people ever so it hurt that he assumed i ment the worst.

Even then there had been absolutely no way for me to know his friend bought it. He told me he was thinking of buying pizza then he said he was going to pick it up. Plus it happened to be my and his favorite pizzas so it seemed like he picked them. I had been in a different room there was no way i could of known what they planned or who paid or anything.

Plus whenever he buys or cooks food i always tell him his is gross or nasty or w/e Playfully. And he calls my food gross too. We joke like this all the time.

And even still, weve been together for three years and weve known each other longer than that. He knows i dont like pizza. He knows i dont like crusts. Its not a strange thing for me to be vocal about it. In faxt itd be strange if i didnt because like ive mentioned we Always poke fun of each other's foods and of each other.

And maybe this is just a me thing but. I dont feel like its rude to call something like little caesers nasty, especially around people who know i dont like it? Itd be one thing if it was a strangers cooking id say something polite like "i dont think its for me" or just say it was good if i wont see them again. Or if i was at someone's house and they bought pizza for everyone. But for all intents and purposes it seemed like my husband bought it and, i cant stress enough how normal it is for us to pick fun at each others foods. He makes fun of my subway order all the time. I always call little caesers gross.

I dont know if feelings are just tense because the beloved family pet passed

Or if he's feeling extra defensive of his friend since he just barely moved in

Or if im in the wrong entirely for being upset and it actually is highly rude of me. Though. I genuinely dont understand since we make fun of each others food all the time. So if i am the asshole can people please try to explain why because i genuinely dont understand what made this different to him saying the black olives on my subway are gross. Or me normally saying little caesers is gross. Like i really dont get whats different so id really appreciate an explanation

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #pet death cw

[risuola]

IV — MY LOVE — F. READER x TOBIRAMA SENJU

It's not often that you and Tobirama go on dates together. This one brought you even closer, when in the golden hues of sunset, Tobirama realized his feelings towards you.

cw: none, it's fluffy — 2,8k words

SERIES MASTERLIST

Showered and clothed cleanly you left your house before 8pm. To the hokage office you had just few minutes of slow walk, so you took your time and even engaged in few conversations with villagers along the way, one of which absorbed you more than it should. An older lady, late in her seventies asked for your help in closing her shop for the day. It’s usually her son that helps her carry the heavy boxes, but that day he couldn’t so you obviously agreed. For you it was nothing and for her, your help was everything as she couldn’t do this by herself even if she tried.

“You’re a gift to this village, y/n-chan,” she said to you, helping as much as she could, even though you advised her to just wait for you to move everything. The woman insisted to be useful, so you allowed her to carry the lightest of things.

“I’m always happy to help,” you smiled at her.

“I’m taking your time, I’m sorry,” granny lowered her head but you took her hands into yours, placing a soft kiss on top of them.

“Please, don’t be sorry. I find joy in helping, don’t feel guilty. My time is yours if you need me.”

“I’m so thankful.”

Although Tobirama tried to focus on his work, he couldn’t fully do that. Not when you called him love, not when the taste of your lips still lingered on top of his and definitely not when he was already thinking about the date you’ve been set to at evening. He had to force himself to think of politics, not the feeling of your body pressed against his and he found it exceptionally hard this time. What an effect you had on him, it’s unbelievable how easily you molded him in the warmth of your hands into something he never expected himself to be. What’s even more surprising, he really, truly loved the change; deep in his heart that for years he thought is frozen, young Senju couldn’t be more thankful for everything you’ve done to him.

He left the tower earlier than he said he would, so he moved forward to meet you half way only to fall in love with you once more, when he saw the scene in the village. You were carrying boxes for an elderly woman, too heavy for her to lift safely. Chatting joyfully, you stopped the service only to grab the woman’s hands, preventing her from bowing before you and as you pressed your lips to her worked up knuckles, the Senju felt like he didn’t deserve you. Pacing up a little, he joined you quickly, taking the box from your hands. “Let me finish this.”

There wasn’t much left, just few more so you allowed without argue.

“Please don’t bow,” you joined the elder that bent in half despite the pain in her back that she made obvious before. At her age everything hurt, and you felt bad for her. “Be careful of your back. I noticed it hurts you.”

“It’s just age, my child,” she responded, looking up at you and you lowered yourself as she reached to cup your face. “Please, don’t let the world change you, and you, Lord Senju,” she addressed your husband that joined after finishing the boxes, “you cherish that treasure with all of your might.”

“I will,” Tobirama responded, and you chuckled. “Do you need help with anything else?”

“No, you both have done a lot, it means the world to me as I thought I’d need to stay the night here and watch over those boxes. Now I can lock and go home.” She thanked many more times and you reassured her just as much that none of that is needed. Making sure she truly didn’t need anything more, you finally looked up to your husband.

“Was I late? I’m sorry, I lost control of time.”

“No, I finished a little earlier,” he pushed a strand of your hair behind your ear. With a kiss planted on his hand you two moved forward. "I'm so proud of having you by my side," Tobirama confessed, whilst you two were enjoying the riverside walk. In the golden hues of sun setting, he couldn't help but admire your features. "You might be the best thing that happened to this village and you definitely are the best thing that happened to me."

Soft smile bloomed on your face, as you looked up to see him. "And you deserve everything what's good in the world, Tobirama. You're just too stubborn to acknowledge what a wonderful human being you are."

Your husband scoffed, silently and yet openly disagreeing with every word you spoke.

"I'm not sure if I will ever deserve you."

"As I said," you chuckled, taking his hand and kissing his knuckle, "so stubborn. But you seem to turn a blind eye to everything what's wrong in me and that's unlikely of you, my love."

"There's nothing wrong in you that would alarm me enough to analyze it and there's so much good I wonder how all of that fits in your frame," he said, already wandering away in his mind.

Your love. Once more, you used those words to address him; once more you filled him with hope for something, he wouldn't dare to expect from you. He could never expect you to love him. Not when you were stripped off your own choice, your own happiness and love whilst being given up to political marriage with a man you had never seen before. You had no word in what you were pushed upon, you were presented on a silver tray to someone that your father found beneficial to his own businesses. Tobirama couldn't expect you to fall in love with him, when most of the time you are alone in home. But he wished.

"You know, I'm grateful for what happened to me," you draw his attention back to you, as you stopped by the edge and glanced over the calm waters. What you said surprised him, it’s like you heard his thoughts. "My whole life I was caged like a golden bird. My father held an iron, controlling grip over me, forcing me into behaviors he deemed appropriate. Truth is, the only thing that stopped him from marrying me off so much younger was my bad character. That's how I like to call it," you laughed quietly. "When he presented me with the news of a Lord from another village that agreed to take me as a wife, at first I felt nothing. Then it was happiness. The marriage with you meant an escape from the world that put me in chains. You gave me back freedom, gave me a place to love, people that appreciate me for who I am without fake respect that I experienced in Yu, being the so-called princess. I became free here."

Tobirama hummed, taking in your words, sensing nothing but sincerity. Everything you said made sense to him. He had seen your father only few times after the wedding ceremony, but every time was just as uncomfortable as the first one. The clash of two drastically different traditions was unbearable.

"And you know, those things really don’t matter that much but there was a chance I would be given up to a feudal lord from Iwa gakure and as far as I know, he’s at least fifty.” And overweight. And disgustingly perverse. But those things, you kept to yourself. “It truly didn't bother me that it was arranged and was set to be loveless. I knew it was a duty for you, a political agreement just as it was for Yugakure. When I saw you the first time in that forest, when you took the blindfold off my eyes, I felt relieved. It's like you finally allowed me to breathe."

"Do you still consider it strictly political and emotionless?" he asked, watching you carefully from above, searching for hints as of what do you feel. You smiled softly, your eyes following a little fish that shimmered under the water surface, swirling it's red-tinted tail.

"Do you truly not know the answer to that or do you just want to hear it?" you asked, sounding as light as if he asked you about something trivial like weather.

"I'm conflicted when it comes to finding the answer."

"I guess your incredible analytical skill doesn't apply to emotions, huh?" Joking, you dipped your fingers in the water, stirring its surface just as if you were trying to engage in a dance with those golden creatures swimming around you and somehow, it didn’t scare them away.

"At first I hoped just for unison, but you seemed so unachievable. I thought it's impossible to break through the cold walls you built around yourself. You make quite an impression at the first sight."

"I'm aware," Tobirama chuckled, observing you. Everything you did was fueled by the pureness of your heart and it was far from forced. "But you're stubborn."

It was heartwarming to think how much you've worked to pull him out of the protective shell as you were breaking in, ripping it piece by piece with every smile you gave him, every innocent touch and every kind word. You never gave up, even when he was indifferent to your efforts. Tobirama could never forget the wedding night, during which he escorted you safely to the bedroom that he thought will be yours, he wished you good night and left you to rest after the ceremony. It’s like the roles have been played and behind closed doors, there was no need to act it further. Nothing happen, the marriage was not consumed that night, and he was grateful for that. Many moons after, when you two got close enough to get intimate, it tasted much better.

"I was told I am, yes," you chuckled and got up, drying your hand on your clothes and looking up, straight into his eyes. "But I'm not acting towards you the way I am because that is my duty as a wife. I'm not acting towards anybody the way I am because that's what's expected of me. I love the village you and your brother founded and I love you dearly."

Tobirama stayed quiet for longer than he would expect, looking into your eyes, searching for anything what would say different than what your mouth delivered but he found nothing but sincerity. The soft feeling of your palm against his cheek sent shivers down his spine, and whilst you smoothed your thumb over his lips, he grabbed your hand gently and pressed a kiss onto it.

"You truly mean it," he breathed out, feeling his insides bubbling in excitement. "Am I dreaming?"

"Well, you do have exuberant imagination, my love, but I don't think that even the wildest dreams of yours would consist of me."

Tobirama chuckled at the truth he was hearing. You got to know him so well in such a short time. If he was to dream about his marriage before he met you, he would imagine it to be peaceful but cold. His own mind couldn't think of any affection towards himself or his wife, like his body knew it's incapable of it. He would wish for getting up before his wife, preferably sleeping in separate beds and then getting back to have a little talk if necessarily needed, then resting in quiet. He would wish his wife to stand up to the challenge of cherishing Konoha but not bother him too much. Mito would be a role model for that, as he was quietly looking up to his brother. The Uzumaki was cold and reserved when she first came to the village, she was representing the values correctly and respected Hashirama as her husband, but at first, they were just co-workers on the issue. It wasn't surprising for them to develop feelings. The oldest Senju had a heart made of gold and it was just a matter of time that they'll get closer, but Tobirama wasn't even close that. He wasn't warm and bright, he wasn't so openly inviting and first and foremost, he wasn't stupid to wish for love when he's so emotionally unavailable. But then you happened and he began wishing for things he wouldn't dare to wish for before. He began longing for every touch you had given him, for every smile he was responsible for, he even caught himself thinking about many long nights that you two spent not sleeping.  

Saying nothing more, he leaned in and pressed his lips against yours, surprising even you with the public display of affection. It wasn't news that Tobirama wasn't exactly the best in showing his love, but with you he felt comfortable. You gave him time and freedom to express himself how he felt acceptable and now you felt thrilled to the bone that he went for a kiss in a place where everyone could see you. It was short and followed by another peck on your forehead before he pulled you into his arms, caging you in safe embrace of his strong arms and his fresh scent.

"I-" he began but words stuck in his throat, his heart racing underneath your ear.

"I know, my love," you cooed softly, smiling. "I don't need to hear it in order to feel it."

He exhaled, unaware of how he held his breath for few moments. You were so good to him, so understanding.

"I don't know what I'd do if I'd lose you."

"Good thing I'm not going anywhere."

"Public displays of affection? Who are you and what have you done to my brother?" Familiar voice came from the side, breaking the moment and you chuckled at the wave of tension that washed over your husband's body just for a second before he relaxed once again.

"Am I not allowed to caress my wife?" Tobirama asked, slowly letting go of your silhouette to greet his brother.

"Oh, you absolutely can and should," Hashirama giggled, welcoming you as well whilst you gave him a nod. "I can't count how often I hear about your wife making someone's life better."

"I like to help," you giggled.

"I'm glad. Tobirama, I have a notice for you. Well, it's regarding both of you, so I decided the sooner you get it, the better."

Handing the letter to his brother, Hashirama gave him a second. Once your man opened the envelope and the paper inside, you tensed seeing the contents. You felt like your body had suddenly forgot to breathe, your airways clenched and you couldn't help but shiver.

"Your father has an issue to discuss with you and he wants you to pay him a visit," Tobirama read, pulling you closer to him. He sensed your uneasiness immediately, as he had learned already that your father is very specific person and by the way his request was formulated it was clear that he wanted you to come alone. Your dad is a smart man, aware of Tobirama's duties and not one of your meetings with him after marriage went smoothly. You were always distressed.

"Your wife is expected in Yugakure tomorrow evening, so it'll be the best if she leaves in the mid-day." Hashirama informed, knowing how problematic is the situation. He also had experienced the odd behaviors of your parent and empathized with you on the matter.

"I understand," you muttered quietly, feeling the living power exiting your body. It's not like you were afraid of your father, no. He had his own ways of taking care of you and he kept himself in order when you visited with Tobirama, but when him, or anyone from your village, caught you alone, then it all began. The constant insults, physical attacks, accusations. They all thought that your relationship with the Senju was meant to look different, that you shouldn't be so friendly with him, that you should serve him and not be equal. It was against everything Yu believed to be moral in relationships, with women in your village being servants to their husbands, always three steps behind, always with their heads low.

"Tobirama," hokage spoke, "I can take care of your duties in those days, you're free to join y/n."

"No, it's okay," you said, putting on a smile, "I can manage, I know your schedule, it's important."

It was a hard choice for you, but you couldn't expect Tobirama to not attend the negotiations that were meant to take place in Konoha in two days and take up to three. His brain was needed there, he was needed there more than by your side. If not for Tobirama’s intelligence, the village would be destabilized soon after its founding. He was the one who kept Hashirama in place, who made sure the finances are stable and everything works politically correctly. The oldest Senju was a perfect hokage – kind, strong, loving, but when it came to formalities, he was just too good and naïve, and your husband’s strict and logical approach was crucial.

"Are you sure?"

"100%."

» NEXT PART

#naruto #naruto imagines #shippuden imagines #naruto shippuden #shippuden #tobirama #tobirama senju #senju #tobirama x reader #tobirama imagines #tobirama fluff #tobirama smut #tobirama fanfic #tobirama fanfiction #tobirama x you #senju x reader #senju x you #senju fanfiction #tobirama imagine #tobirama arranged marriage #tobirama senju x reader #naruto x reader #konoha founders #senju tobirama #senju imagines #tomirama imagines #naruto fluff #senju fluff #tobirama x y/n #tobirama senju x you

[i-am-an-arson-enthusiast]

Here at i-am-an-arson-enthusiast, we i am dedicated to bringing you top quality content such as but not limited to: gay things, cats, and even live arson that you don't even have to tune into!!

hi this is my intro post :D

basic questions that i love answering

“hey what should i call you” good question. i dont really care, most of my mutuals call me arson. thats cool. bc i love arson. (clearly) but you can call me really whatever. planet names are dope as shit, but only @marcysbear gets to call me neptune. also enthu is off limits, only @terrifying-acceptance gets to call me that.

for the record: if you call me either of those names and are not either of them, that is crossing a genuine boundary of mine. you ARE NOT allowed to call me those names if you are not the designated person for that.

“ur gay” woah really i didnt know that ur like the first person ever to notice that!! (no ur not, ive known that for years)

“what type of gay” yes. the easiest way to explain it is bisexual. that being said: i use bisexual surprizingly little. i call myself lesbian and gay all the time (as in wlw and mlm). i’m arospec, i think im grayromantic? idk. but fun fact: it’s been over TWO months now of this identity crisis; my personal record :) also im polyamorous and will joke abt kissing u if ur cool with it :3

“gender????” im genderfluid. which explains the pronoun changes. im also trans, nb, genderqueer, and any of the genders and terms i need to articulate what the silly lil dudes in my head make me feel.

AUDHD :D explains why i am obsessed with space (going back to names planet names are cool and epic btw)

“do u horny post on main???” i reblog horny posts to my main but i dont normally do the original horny posting. tell me if i need to tw that btw :3

my cool and epic tags

i try to consistanly use them but sometimes i dont. sorry.

woah i’m using queue - i’m actually queuing a post for once instead of spam reblogging (which i mostly do sorry not sorry)

woah a real text post - me positing an actual text post for once but it’s becoming more common

cool ass art - art that i reblog (it’s all cool)

arson does half way decent art sometimes - my art. art i made. yea

the beloved - my beautiful beautiful queer platonic partner @terrifying-acceptance who i tag in a lot of shit :]

i will keep adding more as i remember them and make them so yea :D also i try to tag for things but i often dont add tw or cw because. idk. just havent ever done that. if you need me too you can tell me in any form and ill try my gaddamn hardest to add them. feel free to *kindly* remind me if i forgot. (as in no verbal abuse ya know. if ur scared ur probably fine)

the last section that is mostly important for followers :]

if u wanna follow me it’d be cool if you have a banner and pfp but as long as ur like not a bot ur good.

feel free to ask questions :) this is the point at which i tell you that i love getting asks and dms. my dms are always open unless i am dead. (current status: alive at very least.) also i am in school so you are practically guaranteed to get a response not immediately. give me 12-24 hours to respond before being offended. after that it’s fair game.

I genuinely do not care and give no fucks about what you believe and how you live your life as long as you dont hurt yourself or others, you are not offended by me being very not religious/spiritual and you do not shove it down anyones throat.

I mostly do reblogs and tag them as such half the time

lastly if you interact with this post it lets me know that you read it but i’m gonna look at your profile anyway if u follow me so you don’t have to.

thank you for reading all of that i know it’s long. your cool so here’s a cookie 🍪 also here have this

credit to @v-4-l-0-n and @theprideful :)

(order of the banners are “exclusionists fuck off”, then this user loves being a lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, genderfluid, then non binary)

#queer #intro post #uhhhh #yeah #long posts #holy shit

[mikasa-imadebiscults]

Girl I just love your fics and I wanted to see I could ask for one myself

Could you pls write a Mirko x Fem!reader where reader is insecure about her body and turns to sh but Mirko finds out and she comforts S/o and they make out while Mirko praises her and sings a lullaby to her for aftercare

Sorry if it's a lot

Ive been though a rough patch with sh myself and I just wanted to find a way to feel better

I know you might not find this though your inbox

But I figured it's worth a shot

Thanks

(Hello Anon, thank you for your kind words and I really hope this makes you feel better. Just remember, you are not alone in this, me and other people are always here for you. Also don’t worry, this wasn’t too much for me to handle)

More than Perfect

Rumi Usagiyama x FEM! Reader

(Warning: Self harm, swearing, and making out but nothing too spicy)

Insecure. If there’s one word in the world that can describe you, insecure couldn’t be more fitting. Your body being the main victim of your insecurity. Everything about it made you feel bad and often times you looked in the mirror wishing you were in a different body.

Rumi is everything anybody would want in a woman; strong, confident, independent, brave, beautiful, just utterly perfect. Too perfect for you, she deserves so much better, you believe. Those thoughts run constantly through your head, causing your emotions to dampen and dull.

Eventually those thoughts became darker and irrational, making you resort to a more unhealthy, dangerous course of action. Self harm. You do your best to try and cover up the evidence. You can’t run the risk of Rumi finding out, she already has enough to deal with plus you don’t want to burden her or worst, hurt her.

Though life doesn’t always go your way, it never does. Rumi ended up finding out, she was returning from a long day of fighting petty criminals and when she opened the door and called out to you that she’s home she got no response. She assumed that you were in the bedroom taking a nap or something, so she walked to the shared bedroom and opened the door. She didn’t knock because if you were sleeping she didn’t want to wake you.

But what she saw was unexpected. You were sitting on the edge of the bed harming yourself. You froze immediately when you saw your girlfriend standing in the doorway just as shocked as you are.

You opened your mouth to speak but couldn’t find the right words to articulate together. Your vision became blurred as tears formed over your eyes. Suddenly you felt a pair of strong arms wrap around you tightly but cautious not to accidentally hurt you.

Rumi knows that you must’ve suffered mentally for a while for you to go to this as a coping mechanism. She didn’t blame you one bit, the only person she blames right now is herself for not noticing or figuring it out sooner. But that doesn’t matter, what matters most right now is treating your wounds and comforting you.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to explain anything to me. Sit down while a treat your wounds okay?” Rumi says assuringly, pulling away to go get the supplies needed. Fortunately she wasn’t gone for long and started carefully treating you, making sure it hurts as little as possible.

The amount of guilt you feel is unbearable, you feel like a bother. Though your thoughts are easily interrupted by two hands cupping your cheeks and a pair of red eyes staring softly into yours. It’s almost like she knew exactly what you were thinking.

“I’m all done, now if you want to talk about it I’m all ears, but if you don’t then that’s alright too.” Rumi said, sitting next to you on the bed.

You hesitate for a moment before letting the words spill from your lips, “I’ve been..insecure about how I look and stuff..and I..just couldn’t take it anymore.” You confessed as you feel Rumi’s hands rub up and down your back for a moment before motioning you to sit on her lap. Usually she would just lift you up herself but right now she doesn’t wanna overwhelm you.

Straddling her lap, she wraps her arms around your waist protectively, you kiss her lips in which Rumi gladly reciprocates. But you wanted a bit more, trying to deepen the kiss you were left feeling disappointed when you lost contact with her lips.

“Are you sure about this?” Rumi asks, searching for any signs of discomfort.

“Yes I am..but I don’t wanna do too much, y’know.” You say and Rumi nods in acknowledgment. She is sure to not overstep a boundary and you trust her on that.

She gently puts one hand on the back of your head to pull you closer and kiss you. She lets you be the one to deepen the kiss, which is unlike her but she doesn’t mind at the moment. A minute goes by and you pull away for some air.

And Rumi took this opportunity to say something she thinks she should say more often.

“Your body is so damn beautiful, hell, even more than that. I am the luckiest woman in the universe to have a girlfriend like you. And don’t you forget that.” Rumi says in a matter of fact tone, accepting no denial to that statement.

You look into her eyes and see no sign of deception or untruthfulness instead you see nothing but confidence and sincerity. You embrace her tightly, grateful for her existence. She smiles softly at this and hugs you even tighter.

The both of you sit in blissful silence until you hear your girlfriend’s voice, but it wasn’t her talking, it was singing. She had a peaceful singing voice, like music to your ears. You’ve never heard her sing before so it surprised you but the shock didn’t last for long before sleep consumed you.

Masterlist

#tw sh related #tw sh #tw self harm #mha scenarios #mha comfort #mha x reader #mha x female reader #mha x y/n #mha mirko #bnha mirko #mirko x reader #rumi usagiyama #rumi usagiyama x reader #rumi x reader

[9w1ft]

i think you’re being quite clear here which is an art that i lack… ive struggled writing something so direct because it feels like infighting territory and i’ve been sort of going back and forth a bit in my head and heart about all this. i have mixed feelings that are hard to articulate for me and it’s a string of events that effects many similar but different groups of people so it just feels like it’s hard to walk without unintentional stepping on toes.

and people have a right to say what they think based on what taylor is expressing. for sure. a right on the individual level, yes. and the way swifties jump on gaylors about this is and forever will be an issue. i don’t want to dismiss that on a base level. it really shouldn’t be an attack about what everyday people think. it’s more about how it is expressed by institutions.

and people can be hurt! even when we can and other people can separate these things (for example i think chely was clear enough about pointing out that she didn’t like that it was published), pushback can still hurt in any form because it’s representative of a generally negative climate that we find ourselves constantly in, and any perceived disapproval gets very easily weaponized, and scrolling through hostility hurts.

now here’s the part i struggle with articulating.

because i also feel like there’s a dichotomy or like an opposing tension between two things in the space right now, perhaps, there’s a little bit of… wanting-to-have-your-cake-and-eat-it-too about things that’s been growing in recent years among people popularizing gaylor, or gaylorism. because by and large gaylor people have been working to justify the discussion of queerness in taylor’s work as something divorced from taylor the individual and the people she knows (“museless”!), to “elevate” or “legitimize” the (their? the?) discussion of it at all, often posturing as you do in fandom so as to up your clout or credibility within the community, and, perhaps as a product of these things, more gaylors are bringing what they think, their thoughts and theories, into increasingly public facing platforms. video form content. using their own real faces and names. podcasts. guest interviews. personality-centric community building. you get these sort of… pseudo-platforms. not quite public but not quite fandom. and gaylor people have been pulling out what parts of gaylor that they deem ethical to talk about, brushing off the parts they decide aren’t, running with it, and from within that repackaging and polishing, things have become normalized to world at large and increasingly louder takes have made their way into institutions. news websites. internet publication social media presences. college curriculums. and it feels great to be seen and heard, yes, but from within that, at some point some of the public facing takes are going to start toeing some line. like, maybe at some point there’s a line of some sort? idk? it would seem that taylor pointed out that line, or decided not to course correct whoever pointed out the line.

what i think i mean to say is, i struggle with anyone saying there is nothing wrong with voicing your opinion on taylor’s queerness if they are also actively working to popularize and normalize talking about taylor’s queerness using or supporting platforms or venues that, while they might often be homemade, contribute to things ultimately being published across the line. you can’t have it both ways. otherwise, yes, a lot of sympathy for the hate going around this week for us all as a collective community.

and one thing i kept returning to this week was the word museless and how sure, on the surface, it seems like such an easy argument to say that people who focus on taylor’s muses are being invasive because people are being named and that talking about queer subtext is not because it’s academic and generalist. but i kind of wonder if the opposite isn’t actually true sometimes.

because what kaylors or other earnest muse groups are doing is trying to understand what inspired taylor to create most of her music in the first place; the what is so often a who because of the amount of love songs in her discography. and in the end, all we can really say at this point are rumors, look at the public facing reality we are stacked up against right now. all we can really be is weird. tinhatty. all we are doing is creating more folklore. if we are delusional, we are not credible. on the other hand, while talking about how gay her stuff is on tumblr or a bulletin board is all well and fine, if you go further afield than that and make a point of doing so “objectively” and spending so much time to build up ones legitimacy, working to become an authority, and taking money for it, it kinda means you’re ultimately building a stronger and stronger objective case for her being gay (umbrella term) at all. and that —at this point in time— is a threat.

i don’t think there’s a hard right or wrong, like sure, one could make some trolley problem argument that taylor the individual shouldn’t take precedent over her work being made an example of for the greater good or something to that effect, but at the same time maybe there’s something or there are some things in there to protect? maybe there are reasons she is not out? maybe she wants to proceed in her own way, because of the context of her life? maybe there’s a reason to want to maybe not make an endeavor of taylor? the other day i saw some stuff floating around on twitter about how oh i’ve never seen a full kaylor timeline kaylors never present a clear timeline post-2016 and then you get people commenting that’s because they don’t have one ha hah! take that kaylors! blah blah blah and it’s like, no, how about considering why the heck any one of us would want to collate that or even express our thoughts in full to people who belong to a group that refuses to keep things to themselves, given what we believe? like, my understanding or perception of taylor’s muse makes me want to be all hazy about it. focusing just on the queerness… i worry it might be making some amount of people lose perspective.

[wygolvillage]

a new year's resolution

well, as of 2024 i’ve decided i will no longer be posting on tumblr... this shouldnt be the hugest surprise since ive been pretty critical of staff, the over-monetization of the website, the site culture, and the user experience for the past year and gradually reducing my time spent scrolling the ol’ dashboard- ive even mentioned my intent to eventually leave; well, that eventually is now! gradually ive found myself analyzing the effect that using tumblr for 7+ years has had on me, and the effects of social media in general.

ive never had to write a goodbye letter like this before. while ive joined and left several online platforms over the years, its always been a gradual fade in interest rather than a conscious decision to stop. never have i used a platform as long as ive used tumblr, over 1/3 of my life. ive grown up with tumblr, for better or worse. how do you write a goodbye for that? i guess ill have to try my best. because as important as tumblr was for me, ive recognized the way its hurt me too.

finding other avenues of online self-expression particularly has made me think a lot about this. when i edit my website i feel accomplished, happy, and content, feeling i have put something of myself out into the world, my seed to grow and garden to tend. when i scroll through tumblr i feel as if my brain is mostly idle, and when i do emotionally respond its often out of anger or annoyance, because anger = engagement and social media sites like tumblr WANT engagement. particularly because i have OCD ive found myself upset by certain aspects of tumblr discourse culture, as well- it is basically the Scrupulosity Website and much of the way i react to and interact with media has been colored by my years spent absorbing the viewpoints of said Scrupulosity Website! i even used to look up discourse topics on tumblr just to anger myself on purpose, which is a dangerous road to go down, to build up Enemies and Factions in your mind- this is how discourse culture works. the culture of tumblr teaches you to see the world in black and white, and to feel like youre always in danger of compromising your moral purity or being attacked by the morally impure. If You Don’t Reblog This You Are A Bad Person. even as someone who nowadays tries to stay away from discourse entirely, its still there in the back of my mind, because the way we interact on this website is colored by this. when im online i dont actually want to be angry all the time! in fact i like putting my effort towards more positive stuff. but additionally: tumblr made me unhappy but it also made me an addict

and yeah social media addiction sounds like a silly boomer thing to complain about but one thing i noticed when i started trying to curb my time spent on tumblr was that opening the site was damn near compulsive. we all know those “open tumblr, close tumblr, open tumblr again immediately after” memes but that did describe my behavior pretty accurately. the draw and allure of social media feeds is powerful, if i accidentally click the youtubes short tab ill find myself a half hour later scrolling through random shit i don't care about and asking well how the hell did i get here? i dont even like that stuff! tumblr is no different no matter how much the site tries to coast on the reputation of being the last social media that's a “remnant of the old web” and “has no algorithm”. i like my chronological dash but it is equally as addicting to scroll through the thousands of people ive followed over the years, as it is to scroll through the algorithmic feeds of youtube shorts, because that's just social media!

and kicking addiction is pretty damn hard. before 2023, i made two separate attempts at reducing my tumblr usage and both fell through within a week due to that addiction. for reference this current bought of thoughts about reducing my tumblr usage and making my online/irl balance more healthy, around the start of 2023 when i began working on my website and its taken me an entire year to wean myself off of the hellsite, bit by bit. theres a point where it stopped being a conscious act, and even as i was carefully whittling down how often i use tumblr with extensions like leechblock i still had that compulsion go off multiple times every day, its a really strange feeling. but now that ive found so many more ways to express myself online, i just feel more whole now... i guess what im saying is that when i post on tumblr my first instinct is to complain or wallow about something, when i post on my own handmade blog on my website i always want to talk about things that excite me or make me happy! and its been such a tangible change in the way i think and act and im certain its because of the way social media and tumblr have their own “societal expectations” and structure that is built to feed on this negativity loop.

and a lot of the biggest shifts happened when i began immersing myself in the ideals of the web revival, while creating my own website. finding things that genuinely interested me and niches i want to occupy made me so much happier. i know we make a lot of jokes about having mutuals we never talk to that mean the world to us and i do think that is indicative of something. like, when i post on a forum full of strangers i am engaging with more “face to face” (or the digital equivalent) communication than i do with years-long mutuals. how genuine are these connections, this dashboard, the enjoyment i got from that meme post ill forget in 10 minutes? (not to say that i don’t genuinely care abt my followers and mutuals. ykwim?) i can still get all the things i enjoy out of tumblr in a more curated form via rss feeds; ive been so much more proud of what i post and create and code on my website. what am i here for? i gradually realized that i am losing absolutely nothing when i “miss out” or block tumblr on my phone or what have you.

since starting working on my neocities site ive felt so much creative drive. ive created whole interactive essays and worlds and games and writings and so many things i could never host on social media. my website is a place of my very own, and ive been learning the value of focusing on what i put out into the net compared to what i take from it. its made me feel so much more fulfilled when i spend time online.

and let's not forget about staff. i have broader issues with how automattic in particular has gone about running the site. the ads only took up more and more of the dashboard, and every month it felt like there was some new paid feature doomed to never take off. all while the user experience gradually degraded. using the site without browser extensions to fix the ui and block the ads and tumblr live and all the other shit they threw all over the place makes it look like its ridden with viruses, and i think the fact that its become so normalized to feel like we have to stay in spaces that become increasingly hostile to us, even while the internet is so vast, is really strange (i mean, i also thought that way at first). but Anyway. so much time and effort was spent on features no one liked or wanted in some desperate attempt to get a little extra money, while staff members get in public fights with users who complain about getting monetization shoved down their throat. its so openly pathetic. the merch store had mostly mediocre designs and the digital tumblrmart is absolutely full of useless digital goods with free alternatives. considering this is a userbase that gladly donates to other sites donation drives for hosting costs (i.e. ao3, wikipedia, internet archive), i am shocked that staff never considered the obvious answer of a fucking donation drive once a year or so! the ceo telling people with concerns about the ads being unsafe for epilepsy to “just pay the ad free subscription” is one of the most disgusting things ive ever heard from someone officially representing such a platform. do not be fooled by the reputation tumblr has cultivated: all that it cares about is making money from you. tumblr is “in danger” because it can't turn a profit- because a profit is all they care about!

so why stay here when im happier elsewhere, apart from the addictive compulsion? that's what ive been thinking through for nearly a year, realizing that i have no reason to, and that weaning myself off of the addiction is in my best interest. i can create and blog and have fun online and connect with others and follow other peoples work all without the need for tumblr anymore! and i think id be all the healthier for it.

over the past year ive truly fallen in love with the internet again and ive loved putting myself out there, unrestrained in ways i havent felt since i was very young. but nonetheless ive learned a lot on tumblr, ive had some of the worst and best experiences of my online life, and i dont doubt that i would be a much different person if i had never been a tumblr user for as long as i was. but i had to break out of this shell eventually.

i keep going over this wondering how i can express every feeling in my head, how i can word everything just a little better, how i can make the perfect goodbye. but i think this will have to suffice.

you can still keep up with me online here:

-explore my website: i keep it consistently updated and im always adding new things and writing new posts on my blog! you can even speak to me directly on the site! if you sign my guestbook or use my chatbox ill try to respond :) if theres anything on this list you do id like it to be this one! i worked hard on it! you can even send me chat messages on my homepage! just keep in mind it may not display everything right on most mobile browsers, but it should be mostly navigable...

you can also subscribe to my rss feed. if you don't know what rss is, it allows you to use a feed reader to keep up with updates from sites all over the internet! my rss feed will notify you whenever ive made a new post on my blog or made an interesting edit on my site id like you to take a peek at :0 convenient, right?

you can also email me at [email protected] to message me directly. if you prefer im also “wygolvillage” on discord

thank you and happy new years :) thanks for seeing me off as i sail to a new sunrise <3

[scepterno]

i love ur fic so much ive been hyperfixating on it for like two weeks 😢😢 can i have some little trivia facts about some of the characters please i need to know silly stuff u haven't told us!!

omg.. ty... this is the sort of message that gives me life I LOVE SILLY TRIVIA

gwen and trent probably hang out the most from the original cast (minus anyone living together or dating). gwen has her own room in her parent's house dedicated to painting and trent will chill there on a bean bag in the corner writing music while she paints. now that she and courtney are dating, courtney visits way more to study in that chair while gwen works (they take breaks to make out and cuddle very often) gwen's little brother thinks trent is a huge loser and wishes duncan would hang out around the house more instead (courtney bullies him on trent's behalf)

cody lives in a dorm room on campus at his college. sierra goes to the same college but still lives with her mom (she has an hour long commute) she and cody hang out on campus and hang out in a lot of the same clubs and friend groups (mostly nerdy stuff)

harold is a speedrunning streamer and video editor for popular youtube channels. they make music for fun but wants to make professional music for indie games one day.

leshawna really loves to do community service (canon in the show) but i like to think she somehow managed to drag duncan into it too (his parole officer approves) so they get really close through that. he also ends up being dragged to a bunch of family events and parties with leshawna. like an honorary brother who acts like he doesnt want to be there but is super good with all the kids and is never actually disrespectful to the adults. leshawna's parents adore him. he's never been more well fed in his life.

zoe mike and cameron are all living their best lives with the all stars money zoe/mike earned. mike and cameron live together but zoe lives in an apartment with 5 roommates near her community college. they live within 10 minutes of bus so distance isn't an issue at all. they're practically inseparable.

scott and courtney are actually pretty good friends still (they never dated in all stars in this fic) and text regularly. scott moved back home after the show so he's not really near anyone else from the casts, but that's more of a blessing than anything considering the wacky hijinks everyone gets into on the regular.

i think ezekiel lindsay beth and tyler probably hang out a lot when lindsay and tyler aren't traveling around the world to fashion shows and whatnot. zeke got super into thrifting fashion because of lindsay. he's like. bowling alley employee fashion. you know. and although he's not really good at sports, tyler still likes to have "boys nights" and take him to games. they have a tradition of buying and rating the hot dogs at every stadium they visit, and buying souvenirs for lindsay.

alejandro really wants a lizard tattoo but he's very sensitive to pain and would definitely cry, so he's avoided getting one until he can find a tattoo artist who won't judge him for sobbing in the chair. he learned his lesson the hard way when he got his nose piercing and nearly broke carlos's hand because he was so scared (it didn't really hurt that bad, but nerves make everything worse).

josé has a quarter collection (like, the united states quarters, because there's a different one for every state). it's a good excuse to travel and get out of the house (or country) for a weekend retreat.

okay that's pretty much all i have in me right now (i have a meeting to go to at work) but if you want to hear anything for a specific character or headcanon, i would LOVE to share my thoughts!!!!