#jaalxsara

[tiaraofsapphires]

So I kinda updated my Rydaal Royalty AU...

Sara made a beeline to the training grounds as soon as Alec dismissed her, whipping off her jacket and shirt until she only in her pants and thin tank top.

She really needed to hit something.

It wasn’t in anger, not truly. She couldn’t be angry with Jaal—only the abstract idea of him because she didn’t really know who he was—after her father broke the news to her. Jaal likely didn’t want to be a part of this either and it wasn’t his fault.

It didn’t matter.

She was getting almost certainly going to be married to him, an angara of royal blood. Unlike her, Jaal wasn’t the heir to the throne of his respective kingdom. According to Alec and the file he had on the angara prince, Jaal was the third-born child and, therefore, third in line to the throne.

Jaal was older than her, the equivalent of 27 years to 22 of hers. There was some consolation to be had there. At least he wasn’t twice or three times her age or something outrageous for an angara who would likely live to be as long as she would.

Sara twirled an omniblade in her hand, easy as breathing.

From a young age, Alec demanded that his children be skilled in combat, along with book-learning and being a ruler. They had their bodyguards whenever they left the palace, sure, but it wasn’t satisfactory for the king.

“You need to know how to defend yourselves,” Alec had said.

Sure, it served her when smugglers and pirates tried poking holes into her. They landed their hits, but it was rare.

But now it would serve her in another way.

The angara were a warrior race, above all. They had to be, after centuries of skirmishes with the Nexus races and now this decades-long war with the kett. It made them suspicious of outsiders, clinging to those who looked like them. Outside of relatively few cases, they interacted with Nexus out of necessity, nothing more.

Sara couldn’t blame them.

But now, that was changing.

Not only was the Prince coming, but he was bringing various representatives from Heleus to strengthen and renegotiate military and economic ties.

It wasn’t just about the engagement and wedding. But a lot of it was about this unconventional event. It would serve as a distraction for the average citizen to ogle and gossip about while leaders and politicians haggled and bartered behind closed doors.

Who cares about a potential economy-altering deal when there’s Sara’s dress to be whispered about?

Her omniblade tore out some of the stuffing, making the soft stuff smoke and burn.

Sara supposed this training would make her pleasing to her likely-future husband.

The thought of it made her feel a bit ill. They hadn’t even met yet, the engagement not even finalized, and it felt like she was waiting at the gallows.

She jumped into this without really thinking.

Lunge forward, stab, twist.

Time seemed to blur, as she made mincemeat of the target dummies. Sweat beaded at her temples and dampened her shirt.

When something large moved into her periphery, she jumped, whipping towards the source of the movement with a gasp.

Drack held up his hands in a sarcastically placating gesture, bowing in mocking supplication. It was more for her benefit than his. It wasn’t like she could really do anything to him.

Sure, an omniblade to the gut would hurt just about anyone, but Drack would easily shrug it off and knock her flat on her ass.

“Something’s got you pissed off, kid,” Drack grumbled.

Sara huffed and turned back to her unmoving victim. She liked Drack. He treated her like a normal person, if not with a slight bit more respect. It was refreshing.

“Did you hear?” Sara asked.

It was probably hours since she talked to Alec. After that, there was no reason why this engagement would remain hidden.

This union would be milked for all its worth to drum up morale and feelings of camaraderie between the two planets. The word would be put out as soon as possible and not even the malcontents in the Citadel would dare come out too loudly against it.

She could only imagine the amount of emails she was going to return to.

Drack leaned up against the nearby wall and crossed his arms. “About that angara prince that’s coming in a couple days? Yeah.”

Sara’s lip curled. “My fiancé, Prince Jaal Ama Darav.”

No, she wasn’t angry with him. She just needed to keep reminding herself of that fact.

“That’s if he actually proposes,” Drack huffed.

“If he does, I will accept. For the good of our peoples.”

She glanced over at Drack, who grunted disbelievingly.

It wasn’t like he had much faith in this sort of thing. After the genophage millennia ago, the objectively tyrannical and self-destructive krogan government dissolved as the birthrate was reduced to almost nothing, breaking up into municipalities absorbed by the human, turian, asari, and salarian kingdoms.

The genophage had been a disgusting thing, an ugly stain in the history books. Something that Heleus politicians liked to throw in the Nexus’s face whenever it came to making treaties and agreements.

‘Look at how you treat your own people. Why should we deal with you?’

Perhaps this marriage would help the Nexus’s image.

“I suppose you’re doing a brave thing,” Drack relented, “Damn foolish, in my opinion, but brave. I don’t trust those Heleus types.”

“Why?”

Drack grunted. “They’re cagey and isolated. That makes them dangerous.”

Sara shot back, “Like you?”

That drew a chuckle out of the krogan.

“Yeah, a bit. At least you probably ticked off a bunch of idiots at the Citadel with this. Makes it worth it in my book.”

Drack hauled up a fresh dummy for her to dismember and she murmured her thanks.

Lunge forward, stab, twist.

“Have you ever been to Heleus?” Sara asked. The exertion was getting her, raising her heartrate, making it a little harder to talk.

Drack nodded.

“Yeah, on a few—ahem—less-than-legal supply runs back in the day. Lots of fun critters to kill. Angara also make some damn good weapons.”

Okay, not exactly what Sara wanted to hear if someone was going to sell a trip to Heleus.

“Nice scenery?” she suggested.

“I wasn’t looking. But yeah. Nature, ruins, all that shit. I’m sure Your Braininess will love it.”

She smirked at the nickname.

“Thanks for stellar review of Heleus, Drack.”

“No problem, kid.”

Yeah, she really liked Drack. She was glad he was in Hyperion. He was more than happy to come with her when she went on Prothean digs.

To make sure some asshole assassin doesn’t get any ideas, was his official excuse.

But, she knew it was out of friendship. And Alec wasn’t going to protest to the idea of an experienced krogan warrior like Drack ‘looking after her’.

Clan Nakmor didn’t particularly like the idea of one of their own kowtowing to the human crown. But Drack didn’t give a shit.

“I wonder if I’ll be able to go on digs after I’m married.”

“Maybe, kid. And maybe you’ll get to dig some holes in Heleus. Find some nice shiny things that you’ve never seen before.”

He stopped and winked conspiratorially.

“And we can sneak you out if we have to,” Drack continued.

That was one way to think about it.

“I like the sound of that,” Sara murmured.

Despite the tempting possibility of new discovery, she still didn’t like the idea of her ability to study Prothean sites being in jeopardy. It was less her hobby and more like her life.

Dammit, stabbing things wasn’t enough. Maybe she would need to take a trip to the shooting range and put some bullets in things.

She could challenge Drack into a contest that she would definitely lose.

“Sara!” a shout echoed through the space.

Sara sheathed her omniblade at the sound of her brother’s voice. Before she knew it, Scott was in her arms, hugging her. Almost crushing her, in fact.

“Ah, Drack, do you mind?” Sara gasped.

The krogan didn’t protest.

“I’ll leave you, Your Highnesses.”

Drack nodded and retreated. As soon as he was gone, Scott pulled away and looked her up and down, like he was expecting her to be wounded.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” he said.

Yeah, he received word. And he didn’t take it well, if the hard line in his brow told Sara anything. What a surprise.

“Trust me, neither can I. But, if you think about it, it makes sense.”

Scott shook his head vehemently.

“No. No, no, don’t you go defend this. Don’t defend our father’s asinine schemes.”

Oh, boy. Here we go.

Alec never really treated them like a father ought to treat his children, even less so after their mother died, and both of them resented him to some degree. Of the two of them, Sara had the better relationship with Alec. It wasn’t by much.

Whether it was because she was the elder, because she was heir, or just because Scott was the more rebellious and blustery of the two of them, she didn’t know. All she knew was that Scott and Alec’s relationship was strained, and that was putting it in the best of terms.

“But it does make sense,” Sara sighed, “The asari have refused and I’m the only one in this family who can have children with Jaal.”

Scott sneered, “Jaal? Already calling him by his first name?”

Sara bristled.

Fucking hell, Scott seemed to be angrier about this than she was and he wasn’t the one being married off.

“Don’t be childish. The angara have been suffering since before we were born. This marriage could help them, maybe help end this war.”

An arranged marriage to a man she didn’t know, a member of a species that wasn’t her own. A union to bridge two planets in something deeper than a military treaty or trade negotiation.

Something bigger than simply a husband and wife.

It was terrifying.

Scott sighed, “Come on, let’s get out of the sun. You’re sweating like crazy.”

He punctuated the comment with an offer of his elbow.

The sudden change in mood should’ve given her whiplash, but she knew her brother and she knew this conversation wasn’t over. Scott was reining in his anger so there wasn’t a public shouting match.

They would continue this in private. And then start shouting at each other.

“It’s called exercise,” Sara said primly, taking his arm and letting him lead her back inside.

There were more whispers as they walked than usual. Still the respectful bows and nods. They were still prince and princess regardless the gossip.

Anticipation of visitors and an arranged marriage would definitely be major sources of gossip.

She glanced over at Scott as they walked.

His clothing—combat boots, t-shirt, cargo pants—told her he had just been hanging around the barracks. Scott found his niche, his place in the world, in the military. And he was good at it, probably one of the best human soldiers in Nexus.

Sara worried about him, of course. But he had friends to watch his back. And Sara wasn’t bad with a knife and a gun. She had plenty of scraps with pirates and smugglers who tried infiltrating her digs. So, she’d be able to run to her brother’s rescue if need be.

Scott nudged her when they got close to her quarters.

“You shower and stuff. I’ll get some food made for us.”

Sara didn’t want to think about what kind of fuss her brother’s presence in the kitchen would cause. It would be mostly because the prince just waltzed in asking for something and probably throwing everyone off of schedule.

“Alright, Scott. See you in a bit.”

Sara shut the door behind her and leaned against it.

Shit. Well, this was happening. Scott was going to hound her about this until he gave his piece on why he thought this was a terrible idea.

He was always stubborn, hell, it was a family trait. The word could be emblazoned on the fucking family crest. House Ryder: Stubborn and Impulsive.

She would only delay the inevitable by telling him to go away.

The only consolation was that he was going to provide food while he railed on and on about the injustices that their king-father was putting them through.

Hooray.

Sara stripped with tired hands, shuffling to her bathroom. She was sweaty and sticky, Scott was right about that. Totally princess-like.

The blast of hot water relaxed her tense muscles. She would boil herself in the water if she could. Just dissolve and disappear.

No, no, bad thoughts. She was doing something in service of her people. She couldn’t be so selfish and run.

She washed her hair, scrubbing suds into brown locks with more force than probably necessary. Her nails scratched at her scalp, a bad habit that stuck since she was a child.

And it hurt when she did it, soreness curling around her knuckles. She must have been holding her omniblade too tightly. Out of anger for a situation she had no control over. She had a feeling she would see a lot of the training grounds between then and when Jaal arrived.

Let off steam and let the world pass her by as her inevitable fate got closer and closer.

Languid hands cleaned the rest of her body, not rushed. She imagined she could take her time. Scott would need some time to arrange whatever food he was planning on bringing.

The bathroom was full of steam and her skin was blushed from the heat by the time she turned off the water.

More time drying off and putting on some pajamas.

It was a stark, unpleasant realization that soon her privacy was going to be a rare thing.

She would likely have to share quarters with her new husband. When he was visiting, before the wedding, he would likely stay in the guest rooms. But, still.

She supposed her quarters were big enough for two. Enough living space, enough closet space, a big enough bathroom. The bed was certainly big enough for two.

Oh, no, she shouldn’t think about that sort of thing.

Marriage leads to sex which leads to babies. That was how it worked.

With a sigh, she flopped on her bed.

Yeah, this was going to suck. Her life wasn’t hers. Not that it was anything new.

“Yo, sis!” Scott shouted, thumping at the door, shaking Sara out of her reverie.

“Let yourself in,” Sara called back, unwilling to get up from where she lay on her bed.

She glanced over at the sound of the door opening. Scott had changed from fatigues to loose pants and shirt. And he was carrying…

She was expecting two plates of actual food. Instead, Scott had a tray with two bottles of wine and a large plate of little cakes.

“Come on, time to eat and drink our feelings.”

He toed off his shoes and sat on her bed next to her, setting the tray between them

“Our feelings?” Sara asked.

“Hey, I have feelings too. Besides, I’ve been hoarding these bottles for a special occasion. And what better occasion than learning my twin sister is being married off to a random dude from another planet?”

Sara bit back a comment as he uncorked the first bottle and poured two glasses.

She took a sip—damn, it was really good wine—and crammed one of the cakes in her mouth to delay the inevitable conversation with Scott.

This was nice, the two of them sitting on her bed, sharing wine and cake like they were children having a picnic.

“It might not be so bad.”

Scott glanced over incredulously at the statement.

She took a gulp of wine and shrugged.

“He might be so busy with his own business that he will leave me alone entirely except for when we need to be together for…procreation,” she suggested.

Scott made a disgusted noise at that.

“I really don’t want to think about you having sex, thank you very much.”

She glanced over at Scott.

“Like the three or six times I’ve walked into you having sex?”

He reddened.

“Point.”

Silence fell again.

Sara’s thoughts still swirled.

She never held any serious illusions that she would get to marry someone of her choosing. She had her flings here and there before this, carefully chosen so she didn’t cause a scandal by choosing a gossipy partner.

She blinked, telling herself that something was in her eye. She wasn’t crying. She couldn’t cry.

This was an honor. Marriages between Nexus and Heleus peoples were few and far between, but usually happy in their small numbers.

“I don’t know a lot about the angara. I wish I had at least visited Heleus once before this.”

Scott shrugged. “Heleus has their anti-Nexus groups. The Roekaar is the biggest one. I don’t think Dad would’ve let us go for a flimsy reason.”

Sara tried not to let fear knot up her stomach.

She hadn’t really taken into account how unpopular this marriage would be in some groups. The conservative politicians, isolationists and species purists on both Nexus and Heleus would not be happy about this at all.

Of course, Alec did not and never had given a damn about the opinions who were resistant to progress. So, it was clear he didn’t take those possible opinions into account before agreeing to Queen Sahuna’s offer.

Sara forced some humor into her voice. “I bet the Roekaar all had a collective stroke at the news of the marriage.”

Scott snickered, topping off his glass.

“A politically-sanctioned marriage between a human and an angara? Oh, I bet they’re burning effigies of you and Prince Jaal as we speak. Ugly ones.”

It was meant to be a joke, but the mirth of it all evaporated very quickly. Scott opened the second bottle in silence.

“Dad wouldn’t have approved of this if I was in danger, like if Jaal was a member of the Roekaar or something,” she murmured, “You know that.”

Sara knew she had a point there and Scott knew it too. For all his faults, Alec would never directly cause his children harm.

“It’s still bullshit,” Scott said into his glass. To her relief, he sounded a bit more resigned. At least he wasn’t spitting venom about Alec anymore.

“How could Dad do this to you?”

Oops, spoke too soon.

“He’s a leader first, Scott,” Sara mused. “It’s not like this a brand-new side of him. It’s for the good of the people.”

That was what she kept reminding herself.

For the good of the people. That was what mattered.

“You’re not suited for martyrdom, Sara. Just saying.”

“I don’t plan on being a martyr.”

“Does anyone? No, don’t answer that. I’m sure you have an example in that nerd brain of yours and I don’t want to hear it.”

She rolled her eyes. She really didn’t have an example on-hand and was too close to getting buzzed for wracking her brain to find one.

They finished the bottle—Scott taking the lion’s share as usual—and the cakes in relative silence until Scott broke it with another quip.

“If this Jaal hates you, it certainly won’t be because you’re ugly.”

Sara rolled her eyes at that, really wishing she had saved another cake just to cram in his face.

Sure, she wasn’t unattractive. She was sun-kissed and freckled, wiry from training and digging. And in preparation for events that required Sara actually sit down with her attendants to work their magic with makeup and hair and clothes, she could even be beautiful.

But being attractive to humans wasn’t the same as being attractive to angara. She was almost sure of it, at least.

“Yep, I’m a catch,” Sara deadpanned.

“A heartthrob,” Scott drawled. “And, who knows? Maybe you just bagged yourself a fucking dreamboat and he’s everything a princess could ever desire.”

“Wow, somebody is suddenly keen to this idea.”

“I’m a little drunk, sis. I’m sure once I’m sober I’ll take it all back.”

Sara sighed, resigned. She really hoped he wasn’t serious. If there was one person she wanted to have on her team, it was Scott.

#jaal ama darav #sara ryder #rydaal #jaalxryder #jaalxsara #mass effect #mass effect andromeda #me:a #my fic #my fics

[vmmiafanworks]

Alright, let’s try it this way.

I tried to post this by reblogging the original post earlier, but tumblr killed the quality. This is an illustration of a written post by poisonous-angel. Where Scott decides to introduce Jaal to Sara after he meets Jaal’s family. Jaal then sees Sara for the first time and instantly falls in love while Alone by Heart plays in the background XD I might do a couple more panels later with Scott’s reaction to all this.

Link: http://poisonous-angel.tumblr.com/post/159237110127/i-was-thinking-of-scott-taking-jaal-to-meet-his

#Jaal X Sara #Jaal Ama Darav #Sara Ryder #Scott Ryder #CurlyCatWhiskers #my art #Fanart #mass effect: andromeda #art #artists #artists on tumblr #Jaal #Sara #Scott #poisonous-angel #illustration #comic #comic strip #Jaal/Sara #JaalXSara #Jaal Sara #Saraal

[avaquet]

New blog?

So I might make this my personal blog and make my first side blog to be mass effect related stuff Which will include all my writing (cause it's all jaalxsara) and keep more things organized Maybe like a constant RP theme for my OC Sara? Dunno but I'm leaning towards it

[vmmiafanworks]

Sara Ryder is an introvert who loves her alone time...Jaal often tries to find ways to squeeze himself into that alone time (Sara decides to allow this as long as he doesn’t disturb her activities and is mostly quiet.)...(So long as she’s not in a bad mood).

 It should also be noted that Sara is weak to cuddles. XD

#Jaal X Sara #Jaal Ama Darav #Sara Ryder #mass effect: andromeda #fanart #my art #CurlyCatWhiskers #Jaal #Sara #JaalXSara #JaalSara #art #artists #artists on tumblr #Saraal

[tiaraofsapphires]

Starlight’s Bridge- Chapter 1

A NEW JAAL/SARA FIC BECAUSE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I HAVE NO SENSE OF SELF-CONTROL

Summary: Their union would unite their peoples, whether they liked it or not. aka the Royalty!AU that literally nobody asked for. You’re getting it anyway.

Read on Ao3 here!

Sara knew it was a privilege to be born into royalty. It meant a full belly and a roof over her head. Clothes and books and want for nothing material.

But, like all things, that sort of security came at a price.

Her life was dictated by one immutable fact: that her freedom, her life, could be made forfeit in the name of protecting the people.

It wasn’t something to be met with fear, but with a sense of honor. It was an honor to serve, to lead.

This applied to both her and Scott, but to her especially.

She was the first-born. It was random chance that she was born before her brother, the first twin, making her heir apparent and him second in line.

It had been a relief to the politicians who orbited and leeched off of the crown, the ones who the people elected and connived in their towering headquarters.

The King and Queen of Hyperion had two children.

Scott was an extraneous part in their eyes, in case Sara had died before she could ascend the throne, in case Sara ran errant and was forced to abdicate.

An ugly thing to say, often whispered between the fawning bureaucrats, honeyed tones turned to poison as soon as they were out of earshot. It was one of the many reasons Alec kept his children as far away from the Citadel and its bureaucrats as possible.

She was Princess Sara. She was to be queen, one day.

Her life was meant to be of sacrifice, for the good of the people. It meant countless sleepless nights, the burden of millions of souls.

It meant dealing with the threat of war. It meant looking to the future, both of her family and families she would never meet.

This was her fate. And she accepted that.

Sacrifices had to be made for the good of the people. It was a given, something drilled into her head the moment she was old enough to comprehend it.

She already lost plenty of sleep over the people her family was charged with protecting.

…

Sam found her tucked in a remote corner of the palace, one hand fiddling with the hem of her slacks and the other holding up a datapad.

She had missed out on a Prothean dig in Leusinia’s mountains the days before, but Peebee had sent her files of their findings. Sara dug through them with envy, mentally comparing what they had found to what she had found in previous sites.

The set of files came with a short message: Come on, Princess. Shed those palace digs and join me at this dig!

And really, Sara would have and should have gone, taken her required security detail with her, and gotten her hands dirty. But Alec had tightened her leash recently, virtually forbidding her to leave Hyperion.

She just had to hope something interesting showed up in Hyperion so she could leave and actually do something.

She wasn’t holding her breath. When humans were given their share of land and kingdom on Nexus many centuries ago, they were—likely unintentionally—shoved into the most boring archaeology-wise part of the planet.

It was enough for her to publish three academic papers—under pseudonym of course—but if she lived in Leusinia, she would’ve had enough for ten.

Damn it, why did the asari get to have all the fun?

“Your Highness.”

Sara started and almost rolled her eyes at the sound of Sam’s voice. Sara had known Sam as long as she had been alive, more of a father to her than her own father. Yet, he still used all the proper titles, hardly ever used her name.

“Yeah?” she sighed.

She looked to him as he rose from a bow. Another formality that he clung to.

Yeah, thanks Sam, she got it. She was royalty. It meant she had few friends and way more responsibilities than some would predict.

“Your father requests your presence in his office.”

She cocked a brow, interest piqued.

There were very few things that would merit her father calling her into his office. It was almost always to inform her of something important. Like an attack or a military engagement or the signing of an important treaty.

And when it wasn’t, it was an occasion he took to reprimand her on something she did wrong. That happened more often than not. She liked looking for artifacts, talking with real people, and experiencing life outside the palace walls, so what?

She, of course, tried to avoid scandal and drawing attention to herself but if there was a situation that needed mediating, of course she stuck her nose in it. What was the point of having influence if you can’t throw it around on occasion?

“Alright. Thanks, Sam. By the way, you are allowed to call me Sara, you know that.”

He nodded, a wry smirk twisting his features.

“Of course, Your Royal Highness, Princess Sara.”

She actually rolled her eyes at that.

“Thanks Sam. Walk with me.”

Sam nodded again, this time with more of a smile.

“Of course.”

They walked through the halls of her home, their home, really, side-by-side.

They got respectful nods and salutes from the people they passed, most of them directed at her and not at Sam. While not royalty—to be honest, Sara didn’t know where Sam actually came from or how he came into her father’s service—Sam was respected by most. Belittled and mistrusted by a few, since being at the king’s ear drew ire from politicians who desired a similar position.

The man was striking: dark skin, electric-blue eyes, and hair white as snow. He was also probably the smartest human alive. It probably helped Sam’s case in being her father’s right hand, his eyes and ears.

Put Sam and her father in a room, and there was little they couldn’t do.

Sara spoke up after a moment of quiet. “Any idea what my dad wants to talk about? Or has he told you to keep your mouth shut?”

She glanced over at Sam. His face was a careful blank, as usual.

“I was made aware of the topic before I was sent to get you. But he wishes to tell you himself. So, I will, as you say, keep my mouth shut.”

Sara sighed. Of course. Right. Leave it to her dad to be secretive. She wanted to know what was so important that he sent Sam to fetch her personally, as soon as possible.

“Does this only involve me? Or is Scott in trouble too?”

“No, this has nothing to do with your brother.”

Okay, that narrowed things down a little bit. Not a lot, but a little.

Finally, they stopped in front of two ornate doors.

Sam murmured, “He wished to speak with you privately. So, I will take my leave.”

Sara nodded.

“Okay. See you later, Sam.”

He held the door open for her, nodding. She stepped into the room and the door closed softly behind her.

Deathly silence in the room, not even the soft murmur of music.

“Dad,” Sara said, in a way of announcing her presence. Her voice was strong and steady and she internally high-fived herself for not sounding like a guilty child.

Alec was seated in his desk chair, turned so his back was to her. He didn’t move to acknowledge her, didn’t say a word. Sara thought about calling out his name, but instead took the opportunity to look around a bit.

There were bookshelves and models and maps on every wall—not unlike the inside of her room—except for the one right behind the desk.

Behind his chair was a large painting.

Her father, stern as always, but also younger, a little happier and a little less tired, stood stiff, staring forward. The Hyperion crown sat on a head of hair that had more brown than grey. Her mother sat on a stool next to him, regal, kind, a small smile curling at the edges of her mouth. Her tiara was delicate, dress simple. Scientist and gentlewoman, the love of Hyperion’s king.

Sara sat on a slightly shorter stool next to Ellen, Scott standing behind Sara.

The artist had taken liberties on her and Scott’s appearances. This was painted when they were teenagers, soft and gangly and awkward, before they grew into their bodies.

It was a happier time. A picture of blue and green and white and gold.

Now, Ellen was dead, had been for a while. Alec was distant and solemn, worn down to the bone and turning grey. And Sara and Scott had matured and struggled to find their places in the world.

Finally, Alec turned in his chair.

“Sara,” he greeted.

She bowed her head slightly in deference. Though he was her father, he was still king. And it meant that everyone treated him with respect, even his own children.

“Dad. Is something wrong?”

Another question she could’ve asked was ‘Did I do something wrong?’ She couldn’t think of any recent issues that would’ve required a summons.

Alec’s mouth twitched sardonically and a pit of dread formed in Sara’s stomach.

Crap, something was definitely wrong. She didn’t know what, but she knew enough about her dad to know that something was at least not-good.

“Come,” Alec said, gesturing to the empty space next to him behind his desk.

Sara obeyed with little hesitation. She slowly rounded the large desk and stood next to him.

This was how it could have been. If Alec hadn’t been wrapped up in his duties and set out to keep his children at arms’ length, they could actually have a relationship that couldn’t be boiled down to because-we’re-family-we-love-each-other-just-by-virtue-of-being-family.

“What do you see?” He gestured to the holographic image of a planet, a familiar one.

This felt like a test. She didn’t know what kind of test it was, but she wasn’t in a position to not humor Alec in whatever he had planned.

“Heleus, our sister planet,” Sara said.

War-torn, a fifth of its land occupied. Reports came in daily of attacks on villages and towns at the borders, a dozen, a few dozen, dying at a time.

The kett hadn’t come to Nexus yet, but Nexus peoples have died when they attacked shipping transports and trade hubs on Heleus.

Mere weeks earlier was the 10-year anniversary of a massacre that killed a thousand people in a trading market on Heleus, many of whom were Nexus citizens.

Sara remembered the mass funerals for the human victims. She was young, but not so young that the tragedy was hidden from her. She stood behind the podium with her brother and mother as Alec gave a speech.

He gave condolences, asked for vigilance, asked that the Nexus didn’t cut off Heleus in reflex to the attack.

“Their pain is our pain and our pain is their pain. Their war is our war,” he had said.

The isolationists hissed and gnashed their teeth in the face of the idea, but they were a minority. Cooperation with Heleus continued, albeit cautious and strained.

Sara blinked as she came back into focus to Alec speaking. “—the kett have plenty to gain from taking over Heleus: slave labor, mining resources, cutting off trade routes.”

He pointed at spots in Heleus where there were known kett bases and hotspots of fighting. Sara’s eyes followed his finger, not really catching the gist of why he called her in the first place.

He continued, “That would make a subsequent strike against Nexus more in their favor. We have our armies, arguably just as strong as the kett. But we are almost entirely reliant on imports of ores from Heleus to make weapons. If the trading stops, eventually there won’t be enough guns, enough ammo, to go around.”

This war started before she was born, before her father was born. That was a lot of time, a lot of suffering. The angara were strong, were able to keep kett gains to a minimum over the decades, containing them, but never defeating them.

And there had been whispers of a Heleus-Nexus summit in order to better deal with this shared threat. Nobody confirmed anything to her, for security reasons.

But why was Alec telling her this? She could pull up the same records without her father’s help and look for herself.

“You’re beating around the bush, Dad. What’s going on?”

Alec glared at her and before she could think to apologize for her outburst, he sighed.

“Dowager Queen Sahuna Ama Darav of Havarl, a large territory in Heleus, made contact with the Nexus heads of state with an offer.”

“What kind of offer?”

They were getting to the part where it was pertinent to her. If the grit of Alec’s teeth was anything to go by, the offer was not a happy one.

“She offered her son, Jaal, in a political marriage with one of the Nexus royal families.”

Sara blinked at that information.

“I—”

Alec barreled on as if she didn’t speak. “Asari and humans are the only ones who can have children with the angara. Leusinia’s queen and council have already refused the offer.”

The reason Alec called her quickly fell into place in her mind.

“But you haven’t,” Sara said slowly.

Alec sighed and turned in his chair to face her directly.

“Nexus needs a tangible connection to Heleus and the angara outside of trade and military alliances. It will give people hope that there will be a future. It will also improve Hyperion’s standing amongst the Nexus kingdoms.”

The other shoe dropped. And she knew he wasn’t referring to Scott to be the one to marry this…Jaal.

Sara said, “So, you want me to marry him?”

For a moment, she thought Alec would burst out laughing, telling her it was a joke, like he, after the twenty-two years she knew him, suddenly grew a sense of humor. Instead, he nodded.

Fuck.

“Jaal and a host of angara representatives will be in Hyperion in four days. You and Jaal will be introduced. You can...talk, get to know each other.”

He made it sound like the decision had already been made. It probably was. Knowing her father, he answered ‘yes’ the moment the offer landed on his desk.

It was almost funny to see how the whole idea of this was uncomfortable for him. He never asked about her romantic life. Now, he made himself the architect of it.

Marriage to a man she didn’t know and didn’t love. Expected as a symbol of unity. Expected to bear a child, maybe several children, as tangible proof of a Nexus-Heleus alliance.

Scott was going to have a heart attack when she told him.

Alec continued, “And if he proposes and you accept, well, we will work on it from there.”

Sara chewed on the inside of her cheek.

“Did you talk to Tann and the rest of the Citadel? Do they approve of this?”

The four kingdoms had power, considerable power, but they all answered to the Citadel, a group of elected representatives. Surely, they had to have a say in this. A politically arranged marriage between humans and the angara would not only affect Hyperion but the rest of Nexus as well.

Alec crossed his arms, looking utterly defiant.

“Tann and the Citadel don’t know about this, yet. They will soon. They will have enough on their hands with negotiations with the other angara representatives. I don’t need their approval when it comes to my family.”

Sara blinked at the acid Alec seemed to spit at the idea of answering to the Citadel regarding this.

It was no secret he had next to no respect for Tann or Addison. There were few Citadel leadership he tolerated, much less respected.

Alec sighed again.

“I know I am asking much of you. You are my daughter and my heir and strength runs in our family.”

She wished she could take him on his word. She wished he could take that as an expression of his fatherly love and pride for her and leave it like that.

She wasn’t fooled, knew most of it was in an attempt to persuade her. An appeal to her pride or something.

But she knew, and she was pretty sure he knew, what her answer was after he gave her this offer.

“I will do it, Dad.” The words were out of her mouth, in the open. She was waving the white flag of surrender in a face of a potential conflict she wasn’t willing to fight. “It’s—it’s my duty, right? For the people?”

For the people. That was where it started and ended, wasn’t it? Do it for the people?

He nodded, relaxing slightly. Maybe he expected her to fight him on it. Demand that it wasn’t fair.

Well, it really wasn’t fair. She just wasn’t going to argue that point. Life wasn’t fair.

She made the right answer. There wasn’t a choice. She knew that.

She glanced away and up at their family portrait, to four faces. She didn’t want to look at the living man in the chair.

The world was complicated back then and nothing had changed.

Arranged marriages were supposed to be things in storybooks, things that happened centuries ago, especially when humans were trying to keep and maintain a foothold of power on Nexus.

“You know, your mother probably wouldn’t have approved of this,” Alec mused, following her gaze, sounding self-deprecating.

Sara exhaled a laugh. “Probably not. She wanted me and Scott to fall in love, like you and her did.”

Ellen’s deathbed request, as the last of her life began to leak away.

She turned back to Alec. He looked sad. It was a hollow victory to see some sort of emotion that wasn’t either anger or detachment on his face.

Sara knew that part of Alec died the moment Ellen died. The loss had broken his heart, as it did Sara’s and Scott’s.

“We don’t all have that luxury,” Alec said. “I wish I could have given it to you and your brother.”

Alec drummed his fingers on his desk before pulling up another file, this one looking more like a person’s profile.

The somber mood was forced away. Back to professionalism, father and daughter only in name and in blood.

“I don’t know the details of what will happen after the wedding,” Alec said. “It is likely you will live half the time here and half the time in Havarl. We will iron out the details later.”

She nodded, could hear the forced attempt at a light tone in his voice.

She couldn’t smile at him.

“Okay. Tell me more about my future husband.”

#jaal ama darav #sara ryder #rydaal #jaalxryder #jaalxsara #mass effect #mass effect andromeda #me:a #my fic #my fics

[tiaraofsapphires]

Jaal/Sara (Rydaal) Prompt: Sara taking naps (intentionally or not) on Jaal

This was a fun one! Thanks for sending it!

The first time had been entirely an accident.

Liam wanted to drive. And since Sara had been the one todrive every other time they were in the Nomad and it was a relatively straightand flat shot between the forward station and the outpost, Sara relented.

So, she climbed into the back to sit next to Jaal, whosmiled, all friendly.

Liam grumbled something about being a chauffeur, which Saraignored. She was too busy swallowing the butterflies in her stomach that cameup every time she was near Jaal.

A little crush, a little distraction, she kept tellingherself ever since Jaal joined their crew. A break in the insanity that camewith trying to be a savior.

It was exhausting.

She settled in, crossing her arms across her chest.

A false start and Liam cursing about the driver’s seat beingon the wrong side, and they were off.

Her eyes shut during the lull.

She dreamt of nothing.

A jolt tore her out of sleep, making her scramble upright,trying to find her bearings.

“What? What did I miss?” she sputtered.

Jaal looked like he was blushing and Liam looked way toosmug for Sara’s liking in the mirror.

“Ah, nothing, Sara. We’re just a couple minutes away fromthe Tempest.”

Sara was suspicious, but didn’t question it. She put it outof her mind, getting underway and the post-mission debrief taking up all herattention.

Later, back on the Tempest,she heard Liam whispering to Vetra.

“You know when someone looks at someone else like they hungthe bloody moon in the sky? That’s how Jaal looked at Ryder when she wassleeping on him.”

Sara’s face flamed in equal parts shock and embarrassment andshe beat a hasty exit.

Okay, she had a crush on Jaal, something she had alreadyaccepted wasn’t going to be requited. But, apparently, there was some hope tobe had.

That didn’t mean she was going to do anything about it.

The next time, it was around a fire. Same as in the Nomad,it was entirely on accident.

Drack was in the middle of a ghost story that reallyshould’ve kept her up. Her eyes drifted shut anyway.

Her eyes drifted back open an indeterminate time later tothe fire dimming. The left side of her body was cold, exposed to moon’s air.Her right side was warm, pressed against something shifting and alive.

It was then she realized that she had leaned over to pressagainst Jaal, who was speaking quietly to Cora.

And it might’ve been her tired brain playing tricks on her,but she could swear he was leaning against her as well.

Sara pulled away from him with a soft apology, immediatelyregretting the loss of warmth.

He only patted her thigh, telling her there was no harmdone.

She didn’t know how much Jaal had savored every second of itand how he had to fight the urge to hold her hand as she slept against him.

Finally, on Havarl, under a hologram of stars.

Her memories of the planet couldn’t just be of a clearing,of an army and a standoff that almost ended her life and the life of the man lyingnext to her.

The wound on Jaal’s cheek still stung and she knew it. Shehad her bruises from the fight and he knew it.

Sara snuggled close to him and closed her eyes. His armmoved to cradle her against him.

She would think of Havarl and think of this. The hushed droneof a family just behind the door and Jaal’s breathing close enough for her toappreciate.

Sara awoke to Jaal almost draped over one side of her body,snoring in her ear.

She was entirely content.

Awwww Jaal is Sara’s pillow!

#Anonymous #jaal ama darav #sara ryder #rydaal #jaalxryder #jaalxsara #mass effect #mass effect andromeda #me:a #my fic #my fics #ToSdrabbles

[tiaraofsapphires]

Humans and Angarans arent genetically compatible, but thats not gonna stop them from ending up with a lot of kids- of various species. Not that Jaal or Sera mind. Family is family, and family is precious.

Omlllllll I love kidfics so this was a joy to write. Thanks for the prompt! (And if you want biological babies, this fic exists 

“Mama-a-a!”

That was all the warning Sara got before a little turianscrambled on top of her, practically sitting on her stomach.

“Oof! Veleus, what is it?” Sara groaned.

“Papa won’t let me feed Fluffy!” came the reply.

She sighed. She had told Jaal to let the kids handlepet-related chores. Generally, he was good about remembering, but this time,apparently, he forgot.

“Did he already feed the hamster?”

His mandibles clicked and shifted in a frown.

“Yes, but I want to feed him! Sinia fed him yesterday and Barsanthe day before that. I want a turn.”

Sara sat up, moving Veleus to her lap. He was almost bigenough that she couldn’t carry him without strain. When did that happen?

“How about tomorrow? I’ll make sure that you’re the one tofeed Fluffy, okay?”

Veleus paused for a moment and then nodded.

“Okay. I wanna be like the big kids for once.”

Don’t grow up too fast. That was what Sara wanted to say,but she only smiled and kissed her son on the forehead.

“Love you, Mama,” Veleus said, pecking her cheek beforehopping off the bed and running out of the room.

Sara smiled and eased herself out of bed.

Children of tragedy, orphans from fights against the kett.The Initiative had been desperate to adopt out as many of them as possible, assoon as possible.

Jaal and Sara couldn’t have their own children together: an unfortunate consequence of biology.

But they were more than happy to adopt a legion: human,angara, turian, krogan.

There were only the younger kids in the house, the rest ofthem off at school.

Veleus was one. And then there was the youngest: Asha.

Speaking of, where was she?

It didn’t take much looking.

“What are you doing?” Sara asked as soon as Asha came intosight.

The angara stopped her bouncing on the living room couch toturn towards her mother, looking vaguely embarrassed. Sara glanced behind herto see that Asha’s dolls were scattered on the ground, likely knocked off bythe movement.

“Flying. Like Auntie Suvi.”

She bounced, once, twice, just as an example. Her blue skinwas flushed ever so slightly from the exertion.

Sara sighed. “Please, Asha, you already hit your head oncethis week. Don’t do it again.”

Gods knew how scared she had been when she heard the thumpand subsequent crying. Of course, omnigel patched up the little cut and bruisevery quickly, but still, Sara worried.

Asha patted her forehead, looking utterly unconcerned forher wellbeing.

“Don’t worry, Mom. Uncle Drack said I have a thick head.”

Sara bit back a smile, knowing that Drack didn’t mean thatin a good way.

“Come on. Get down from there,” Sara said, holding out herarms.

Asha reached forward and wrapped her arms around Sara’sneck, clinging to her. She was at least young and small enough that Sara couldcarry her. Sure, she could use herbiotics to help, but she never liked using them around the kids.

Mostly because then they would insist that she do trickswith them.

Sara jumped to the sound of a crash from the kitchen area,followed by Veleus’s raucous laughter.

“Everything okay in there?” Sara called out, carrying Ashato the source of the noise.

She turned the corner to see Jaal hunched over a face-downcasserole dish on the floor, Veleus sat at the counter with his hands coveringhis mouth in a poor attempt to squash his giggles.

Jaal gave Sara a long-suffering glance as he stood up withthe dish and half of what probably used to be macaroni.

“I’ll eat it off the floor,” Veleus suggested, looking atthe half that spread over the metallic floor.

“Me too!” Asha chimed in.

“No, you won’t,” Sara said firmly, sitting Asha down next toher brother. “Your Papa and I will make sandwiches after we clean this up.”

Jaal nodded, smiling jovially.

“Ah, yes, good idea, my darling wife.”

Jaal leaned over and kissed her, short and sweet, ignoringthe two-child chorus of ‘ew’s’.

I hope that was good! (And sorry it took me 2 months to fill but…life and other things)

#Anonymous #jaal ama darav #sara ryder #rydaal #jaalxryder #jaalxsara #mass effect #mass effect andromeda #my fic #my fics #ToSdrabbles

[tiaraofsapphires]

my satellite (shine on me tonight)- Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Fault

Read on Ao3 here!

Sara woke up to an undeniable feeling of nausea.

The next thing she felt was Jaal as he spooned her from behind, a warm and strong wall of muscle.

She definitely preferred the latter over the former.

She shifted against him, taking a deep breath, trying to center herself, ignore the feeling.

This was probably nothing.

Sara lurched out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom moments later.

Nope, not nothing.

Her knees hit the ground in front of the toilet before the first wave came, the sound of retching and coughing filling the little space.

It was in her nose, too. And it burned.

Fuck, she prided herself in not getting sick (the three times she died/almost died didn’t count as being sick).

So, this was an unfamiliar sensation of just…ick.

It didn’t help she ate more than usual before she went to sleep. A recent resupply meant a stocked galley which also meant a meal more substantial than nutrient paste.

It was great at the time, jerky and Heleus-native rice and dried fruit.

Now, not so great.

She glanced down at her stomach. Still no bump yet, but she could imagine the lump that was her child just shrugging its little shoulders.

I didn’t do that. Wasn’t my fault. The pyjak did it!

“You’re grounded,” she breathed. “You aren’t even born yet and you’re so grounded.”

She rested her head on the chilled rim of the toilet and saw a familiar figure in the doorway from the corner of her eye.

“Are you okay, Sara?” Jaal asked.

Rhetorical question. She moaned between spitting into the toilet.

“No.”

“Do you want me to sit with you?”

She knew how angara were like about illness, so she hesitated in shouting ‘yes!’

Company would’ve been nice. But if she made Jaal uncomfortable, no good.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Sara said, leaving him every opportunity to retreat back to bed.

Instead, Jaal stepped into the room and sat down cross-legged just behind her right side, angling himself so the mess in the toilet was just out of view.

For both their benefit, she flushed the mess away.

“I will stay with you, my dearest one,” Jaal said.

His hand was at her back, rubbing over her spine.

Sara tried to focus on the hand, ignore the feeling roiling in her stomach.

It worked for maybe half a minute before she was leaning over the toilet again with an ugly noise.

“Okay, I know you’re uncomfortable,” Sara muttered when the sensation subsided for a moment.

“I am. But I will suspend my feelings for your sake.” He threaded his fingers through her hair, pulling wayward strands out of her face.

“I love you so much, my dearest,” he said.

His hand returned to her back, rubbing gently now.

She smiled, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

Now it was just dry-heaving, which was just as unpleasant as wet-heaving. But every time she made a noise, lurched over the toilet, she could hear Jaal’s sharp inhale, feel his hand tense where he touched her. She didn’t have to look at him to know he was rigid and wincing.

“I love you with all my heart, Jaal. I really do. And that how I know how much you don’t like this. I can feel it.”

There was a pause, like Jaal was going to protest.

“Are human pregnancies always like this?” he asked instead.

Sara nodded, though it probably was a stretch of the truth. This wasn’t a human pregnancy, not really.

“Yep. Now, let me up. I think I’m done.”

He kissed the crown of her head before helping her up. He was probably holding his breath and closing his eyes before they made the turn from the toilet.

“Do you want me to stay with you?” Jaal asked.

Sara shook her head.

“No, its fine. I’ll just brush my teeth and go back to bed.”

His hand came up to skim over the ridge of her cheek.

“I shall work on the Nomad. Until I see you, my love.”

She leaned into his hand a touch, unwilling to kiss him with her gross mouth. Then he left.

Sara brushed her teeth to get rid of the taste of bile and acid and lumbered back to bed.

“Fuck,” she muttered. “SAM, please tell me this is normal.”

The nauseous feeling wouldn’t go away. And this was way too early in the pregnancy for morning sickness anyway, right?

“Typically, morning sickness starts a few weeks later it has for you.”

Okay, so she was right. She read pretty much everything one could read on human pregnancy. She couldn’t manage to find anything on angara pregnancies, and probably couldn’t ask anyone without raising questions.

“I can try to minimalize the severity of your nausea,” SAM informed.

He didn’t need to ask twice.

SAM worked his magic until the gross feeling in her stomach slowly faded to something that could be easily ignored. But a feeling of utter exhaustion stole over her in exchange.

Figures. Awesome. Just what she, the human Pathfinder, needed. Vomiting, then exhaustion.

This pregnancy was going to take forever.

She was almost at the one-month mark, the end of the two-week period Jaal and Sara gave themselves before announcing to loved ones (and by extension the rest of the cluster). In fact, they were planning to gather the crew the next day to deliver the news, after informing their families over vid-call.

Neither he nor she really knew what to say that was in any way eloquent.

“Yeah, a couple weeks later. But, this isn’t an ordinary pregnancy,” Sara mumbled.

“Yes. You may experience symptoms earlier and perhaps more severely than in a human pregnancy. And there is also the fact that the fetus is half-angara, which may cause new and unexpected symptoms.”

“Such as?”

“I have been going through scenarios. There is a high probability the fetus has inherited an angara’s bioelectrics, which may interact with your body.”

What?

“So, I might get electrocuted by my own child?”

SAM paused for a moment. “It is a possibility.”

“Great.”

“I predict muscle spasms and more severe, yet short-lived moodswings as a result from fetal bioelectricity, if this is the case.”

Sara sighed.

Okay. Fine. A grab-bag of pregnancy symptoms for the next eight months.

Not an ideal situation, but as long as they weren’t completely debilitating or fatal, she couldn’t be bothered to complain. She signed up for this, she was seeing this through.

A trip to Lexi to see about some anti-nausea drugs might be required if SAM couldn’t keep a sustained influence on her body.

Sara slept for an undetermined amount of time before her omnitool chimed and stirred her awake.

“Gil needs to see you, Pathfinder,” Suvi announced.

Sara let out a loud, long groan. Of all the times the Tempest mechanic could’ve needed her, it had to be now.

There was a beat of silence before Suvi spoke up again.

“Uh, Sara?”

Fuck. The channel was open. Suvi, and likely Kallo, heard everything.

“Sorry, Suvi. Tell Gil I’ll be down in a minute.”

This time, Sara made sure no one could hear her before she groaned loudly again.

Well, that was embarrassing and unprofessional. She would have to apologize to Suvi for that later.

After putting on clothes that didn’t smell like sweat and vomit, she trudged to Gil’s ‘office’.

Immediately, the redhead caught on that something didn’t look too good. She could see it in his face. Damn him for being perceptive.

“Whoa, you don’t look good,” he said.

Sara realized her face probably looked still blotched and eyes bloodshot from recent events. Shit. Time to deflect.

“I’m sick.”

Gil’s eyebrows shot up towards his hairline.

“Sick? Our illustrious Pathfinder is sick?”

She almost wanted to shake Gil but held back.

This was partially his fault that he was sick in the first place.

It was at his (and Jill’s) behest that she got off the blockers.

‘An example for the rest of the Initiative,’ they had said.

It had been more a symbolic gesture than anything when Sara did it, since she had assumed that her relationship with Jaal mooted the need for birth control anyway.

And that assumption was so, so wrong.

It only served to take down one less hurdle on her way to getting her pregnant.

Angara hormones, Remnant bullshit, lack of birth control.

Gil would probably be excited to hear the news, hell, Jill would be ecstatic. But Sara was stressed enough as it is worrying that Lexi was going to let slip the secret.

“Yep,” Sara nodded, carefully deflecting, “You know, human things. Because this Pathfinder is still human.”

“You’d think SAM would be able to fix that for you.”

“That would likely compromise the Pathfinder’s immune system,” SAM chimed in helpfully.

Gil shrugged.

“Fair enough. But I didn’t call you in here to debate on how you handle your health.”

“You didn’t?”

“Nope. Ah, actually, I was wondering if you wanted to play poker.”

Sara blinked. “Again? Right now?”

Gil shrugged and pulled out a worn-looking deck of cards.

“If you’re not busy, of course.”

Really, it wasn’t that difficult a request. He could’ve had her help calibrate some device or another, something that was above her skillset or had her do some heavy lifting.

Letting herself get trounced by Gil in a poker game wasn’t the worst thing he could’ve asked of her.

“Are you going to enlist my help?” SAM echoed in her head.

“No, thanks.”

Because she already used SAM to win once, she wasn’t going to use him again. That was just playing dirty.

“What are the stakes? More credits on the line?”

“Our pride?”

Sara shrugged. “Fair enough.”

They sat down across from each other, a large crate between them.

Gil shuffled the deck and dealt the cards with practiced precision.

And it was clear to Sara very quickly that he was distracted. There were cracks in his poker face that even she could see without SAM’s prompting.

After many minutes, Gil sat back and set his hand on the table.

“Huh, look at that,” Gil muttered. “You won.”

“I wasn’t using SAM, this time. Just so you know.”

Gil chewed the inside of his cheek.

“Huh. Not quite sure I believe you.”

Sara rolled her eyes.

“Well, believe it.”

They sat in a tense silence for a few moments.

“Alright, now that you’ve gotten this out of your system, care to tell me what you really want to tell me?” Sara asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Sara cocked a brow.

“Seriously, I know what you’re like when you’re in the ‘poker zone’ or whatever. So, unless you wanted to give me a pity win for whatever reason, something’s up.”

Gil looked like he was going to deny everything before his posture drooped.

“It’s about Jill.”

Sara froze, waited for Gil to continue.

“You know how I was gonna father Jill’s kid?” Gil paused, cleared his throat. “Well, Jill tried. Recently. The first embryos, two of them, actually, didn’t take. Just received word.”

He gestured vaguely at one of the monitors, where Sara assumed he had read the message from.

It took a moment for the information to sink in, what it meant.

“Oh. Gil, I’m so sorry,” Sara whispered.

She wasn’t ready for the wave of guilt that swept over her, making her throat tight and her eyes burn. She knew Jill wanted to have children and was trying to have children. Sara was able to get pregnant without even trying, and the pregnancy was continuing as normal.

“It’s okay,” Gil said. “Jill’s gonna give it a month or two before trying again. I figure she’s not gonna stop until the fertilization is successful. Wait—are you crying?”

Sara’s hand shot to her face and sure enough there was wetness on her cheeks.

“Well, uh, you’re right,” she muttered.

Gil reached over and patted her shoulder. It was clear he was affected by this and he was not okay but Sara didn’t know what to do.

“Don’t worry, it’ll happen eventually. Sure, Jill’s disappointed.”

Forcing her totally-not-pregnancy-related emotions in a corner of her mind, she managed a smile. More for Gil’s benefit than hers.

“Yeah. I’m—I’m sure good news will come soon.”

She immediately wanted to kick herself when something like suspicion crept into Gil’s expression.

Shit.

“Well, I’ll leave you to your thoughts,” Sara muttered, lightly punching Gil’s arm before making a totally-not-rushed-and-slightly-panicked beeline for the exit.

Not suspicious. At all. Good job, Sara. Go you.

On her way back to her room, Sara decided she wasn’t sure if Gil was going to love or hate her when she delivered the news the next day.

#jaal ama darav #sara ryder #rydaal #jaalxryder #jaalxsara #mass effect #mass effect andromeda #me:a #my fic #my fics

[tiaraofsapphires]

I may be really REALLY late for the prompts party but I've just read your carnivore fic and I must say it's simply amazing, hands down. Would you consider to write a thing about growing sexual tension between Jaal and Sara before the waterfall? The moment of realization that he wants her, for example when an ordinary makeout session gone a little too hot or something like that?

thumbs up emoji

There were stolen moments between them getting togetherofficially on Havarl and now.  As the Tempest flew to Aya. Fleeting touchesand kisses and whispers between missions.

He was content with that. It was satisfying to have theclose companionship.

But it was clear there was something more. They were on thecusp of something, heavy and intimate.

He caught her outside of the galley. He was always taken byher. She was unlike anyone he had ever known. And they attracted each otherlike opposite poles on a magnet. He loved her. He really did. It was almostpainful how much he cared about her.

And he wanted her in every way she would let him.

She smiled when she saw him, her entire face lighting upwith it. He grinned.

“My dearest.”

“Jaal.”

There was no one else around. So, he let himself take a fewliberties in the realm of decorum.

He closed the distance between them, enough so she coulddefinitely feel his body heat radiating off of him.

He looped one arm around her back, the other cupping hercheek. She smiled up at him, bit her lower lip, looped her arms around hisneck.

She was a mixture of soft and firm, every time he touchedher was a treat and a discovery for him. He wanted to know everything abouther. He wanted to learn her body and find out every single thing that wouldmake her feel good.

Liam had given him vids of human pornography, so he wasn’tentirely naive. But he knew that each body had to be different and he wanted tolearn Sara’s.

Sara hummed against his mouth and pulled him closer. Hetightened his arms around her in answer until there was almost no space betweenthem. He licked into her mouth, just to get a taste of her, and she gasped.

Her hands roamed, stroked behind his head, finding hissmooth and sensitive skin underneath the folds.

A shiver, like lightning, crawled down his spine, turninghis insides to liquid.

She couldn’t have known it was a sensitive spot, but herfingers tortured and danced over his skin, like she had picked up on hisreaction.

A tease. She was going to drive him mad.

Heat, a need to take and possess, had him pressing hercloser to the wall, wedging one leg between hers.

“I want you,” she whispered, lips only a breath away fromhis.

That was somethingJaal was yearning to hear.

While he knew, he knew that Sara felt something similar towhat he was feeling, it was wonderful to hear it aloud.

“In due time, dearest one.”

It wasn’t the answer either of them wanted. He was painfullyhard and she kept grinding down on the leg between her thighs.

He had plans. Soon, they would be on Aya and he would get toshow her.

“In due time,” he repeated, forcing himself to loosen hisgrip and pull away a little. “I want to make it special.”

Sara pouted and Jaal couldn’t help but try to kiss thatexpression away, kiss her breathless.

When they broke away, it was clear he succeeded, but she wasstill insistent.

“It’ll be special no matter where or when it is. Jaal, come on.”

He wrapped his arms around her, almost crushing her againsthim. Any crew members who would pass by would only see two people embracing.

Jaal leaned down until his lips brushed her ear. Sarashivered against him.

“When we are on Aya, I will take you. I will make you forgetyour own name.”

Sara moaned, just loud enough to hear, and rocked againsthim again. He growled in answer, both in arousal and frustration. He really wasn’thelping his case

He had to hold back and he pulled away as far as he could.He felt trapped in her orbit.

“Be patient, my dearest.”

Sara sighed and tilted her head back to rest against thewall. She was a sight to see, flushed cheeks, red lips, glazed-over eyes.

Jaal had to bite down the urge to forgo his plan on Aya andtake her to her quarters, his quarters, anywhere private.

“Now I’m going to need a cold shower, thanks to you.”

He understood that meaning and he flushed with it, not doinganything to temper his arousal.

“Will you think of me?”

Sara smiled wryly. He definitely deserved the tease.

“I always do.”

jazz hands

#Anonymous #jaal ama darav #sara ryder #rydaal #jaalxryder #jaalxsara #mass effect #mass effect andromeda #me:a #my fic #my fics #ToSdrabbles

[tiaraofsapphires]

For the kissask! I need more Jaal x Ryder in my life. 6. Tipsy kiss 18. Kisses because I missed you and you really shouldn’t stay away so long Please💜

BOI did this take me a while to finish but…better late than never, right?

6. Tipsy Kiss

There was a flush on her cheeks and a goofy smile pulling ather mouth.

“Jaal!” she greeted.

Her arms looped around his neck and she bounced on her toesso they were closer to eye-level. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pullingher close.

Jaal could smell the liquor in her breath the moment beforeshe kissed him. He could taste it on her tongue, strong and vaguely sweet.

They kissed, slow and languid. Jaal loved kissing her. Hecould kiss her forever and not get bored of it.

A giggle against his mouth, a wet sound as they pulled away.

She was still close, pressed up against his body, watchinghim.

“You’re so pretty,”she said, sounding in awe.

Jaal couldn’t help but preen a little at the compliment, asdrunken as it was. Word bled into word, just on the side of coherent where thetranslators could actually pick it up.

“How did I get so lucky?” she whispered.

Clumsy hands found his face, fingers over the flat of hisnose, the ridges of his cheeks.

“Dearest one, I believe you are drunk.”

Sara practically slumped on him, watching him. Her face wasslack and adoring.

“You’re probably right. Don’t remember what Peebee wasmixing, but it was good.”

Jaal wasn’t sure if he wanted to scold or thank the asarifor aiding and abetting Sara, who he already knew was a bit of a lightweight.

She swayed and stumbled in his arms. Her eyes were hooded,like she was about to fall over.

Jaal scooped her up before she could even think to do thatand she squealed.

“Hey!”

“I am getting you to bed, my love. Enough drink for thenight, I think.”

Sara sighed, head lolling on his shoulder. “There’s no nightin space, though.”

Jaal chuckled as he carried her to her quarters.

“Very well, but you need to sleep this off.”

“I’m not thatdrunk.”

Of course, Sara wasn’t going to admit it.

Gentle, he rested her on the bed and laid down next to her. Hespooned her from behind and rested an arm across her abdomen.

She hummed contentedly and wriggled close to him, mumblingsomething that the translator couldn’t pick up.

Jaal already knew she was going to have a terrible hangoverwhen she woke up and made a mental note to have some painkillers and coffee onstandby for her.

18. Kisses because I missed you and you really shouldn’t stay away so long

Sara was so glad to be back on Tempest. Just the approach on the Nomad brought a feeling ofexhausted relief that made her want to cry.

Everything that could possibly go wrong on Kadara did,extending what should have been a two day stop to a five day ordeal, nightsspent crammed in the Nomad and rations for meals.

This turf war between Sloane and Reyes was becoming a realpain in her ass, making the efforts for an Initiative outpost difficult, if notimpossible.

Of course, if she had just let Reyes execute Sloane, shewould’ve had a lot less to deal with. But no,she had to have a conscience.

What Sara accomplished was really a band-aid over a bulletwound, but it would stop the bleeding if for a small amount of time.

Liam and Vetra were itching to get underway, almost as antsyas she was.

Back to softer beds and running water and air conditioning.

Yeah, Sara needed a shower, a warm meal, and a nap.Preferably in that order.

The back door lowered to the Tempest and she eased the Nomad up the ramp. The engine shudderedto a stop.

She almost fell out of the Nomad. Her legs had forgotten howto work for a moment.

“Finally!” she groaned, yanking off her helmet .

“Dearest!”

She turned to get an armful of angara. It was jolting for amoment, like she had forgotten his body for a second. But she quickly relaxedinto it, arms wrapping around his waist.

Jaal cupped her face in his hands and kissed her.

She ignored the grossed-out noises from Vetra and Liam andGil. She just let her eyes flutter shut and enjoy kissing her boyfriend afterdays of being deprived of his presence.

They had whispered to each other over the omni-tool wheneverthe mission quieted to a lull, sometimes to give updates, sometimes just tohear each other breathe. It wasn’t the same as being in the same room, sharingthe same bed where she could rest her head on his chest.

It had been a substitute, but it got her through her hellishweek.

“Hey, Jaal,” she whispered as soon as they broke away.

She probably smelled like sweat and sulfur but that didn’tstop Jaal from all but covering her in his embrace and tucking his face againsther hair.

“I missed you,” Jaal murmured.

Her heart immediately melted at that, smiling into hisshoulder.

“I missed you too. And I’m beginning to see why you hateKadara so much.”

Hope it was worth the wait!

#wishuponasilverlining #jaal ama darav #sara ryder #rydaal #jaalxryder #jaalxsara #mass effect #mass effect andromeda #me:a #my fic #my fics #ToSdrabbles

[tiaraofsapphires]

Sara taking the hit for Jaal in a battle situation? Like she's aware her armor is stronger than his and if he took the shot it probably would have killed him. Idk. Keep up the good work 👍🏻

Aka Sara-gets-an-owwie.doc Thanks for the prompt!!

She was beginning to get reallytired of Sloane’s outcasts.

With their leader dead, most of the Outcasts had eitherjoined the Collective or “retired” from lives of organized crime.

The ones that still clung to Sloane’s ideals were ruthless.

There was no way the remaining Outcasts had learned thatSara had let Reyes Vidal execute Sloane. Reyes had made sure that the only ones who could tell the tale were either on his payroll or on Sara’s squad. But Sara was a public figure, the Initiative’s golden girl and Pathfinder, unlikethe, at least to most of Heleus, unknown Charlatan. She also never reallyhid her distaste for the Outcasts.

She was the visible enemy and in the badlands of Kadaraenough that there were opportunities for people get in a couple shots at her.

This set of Outcasts were particularly clever, pinning Sara,Jaal, and Drack on both sides so they had to take cover behind some nearbyrocks near the Nomad.

They had to hope that they could force the Outcasts back andthat the Outcasts didn’t decide to blow up their ride.

Immediately, Sara found herself with her back to Jaal.

It was a natural thing. Sara watched Jaal’s 6 as he watchedhers. Drack never stayed still, stalking where they took cover and evenspringing out of cover to take down any Outcast who decided to get too close.

The Outcasts didn’t know what hit them.

Slowly, the three of them brought their attackers down,assault rifles blazing.

Sara had drifted away from her position, leaving Jaal’s backexposed. She watched as the Outcast lift their rifle, a clean shot.

It was a simple choice. She stepped between the bullet andJaal, raising her own gun to fire at the armored figure.

Days later, she would find out through SAM’s battle analysisthat if she hadn’t stepped in the way, the shot—high-impact rifle shell—would’vesevered Jaal’s spine, likely paralyzing him, if not outright killing him.

She would’ve taken the shot for him regardless of if it wasfatal or not.

The bullet impacted on her left ribcage, a couple inchesbelow her breast.

Pain, not much of a surprise. It knocked the wind out of her,made her stumble.

She fell to one knee with a shout, immediately tipping overuntil she was sitting on the ground.

Jaal bellowed out her name, reached for her, and she wavedhim off, yelling something about keeping his head in the fight.

It was instinct. Make sure her squad made it out, then letthem worry about her injuries.

She didn’t know if she even hit the Outcast who shot her,but there was no more gunfire from that area, so she could only hope that heraim was truer than her opponent’s.

She glanced down.

The N7 armor—which took most of the credits she had saved upfrom selling the shit she found and an unnecessarily large amount of wheedlingto obtain—did its work. Its work, meaning Jaal wasn’t shot and she didn’t dieinstantly.

She pressed her hand to her ribs, where the bullet hit her,and starbursts of pain bloomed in her vision. Her armor was black, so shecouldn’t tell if she was injured outside of the pain.

A chill covered the area and distantly she realized the medi-gel packets in her armor burst. Right. They did that.

“SAM?”

The AI said something but it was lost to Sara, drowned aboutby the sounds of battle around her and the rushing noise in her ears.

The shine on her palm when she looked at her hand almost didn’tmake sense to her.

She was bleeding.

Huh. How about that?

The world tilted and moved, though she remained stationary.

Jaal and Drack were shouting at each other, but it was likeshe was underwater and they were standing on the shore. Everything was garbledand muted.

One last grenade explosion and everything was silent.

Silent, until Jaal knelt in front of her. His eyes were widewith panic and she tried to focus on his face.

“You shouldn’t have done that. My dearest, my star, youshouldn’t have done that,” Jaal said, gripping her upper arms.

She waved with a levity she didn’t feel. What was he talkingabout? Of course she was going to protect him.

She made her choice, which in her mind was the best and onlychoice. She was tired. The little voice in her head that could be SAM or somethingelse told her that it was shock.

“’M fine. ‘M fine,” she muttered. She let herself be led tothe Nomad, Jaal almost dragging her along.

Everything went dark just as Jaal was easing her into theNomad.

Sara awoke, groggy, in the med-bay, clothed only in her braand tight shorts, bandages wrapped around her midsection, a hand in hers.

She turned her head to see Jaal curled in a chair next toher, sleeping, holding her hand.

He jerked awake when she squeezed his hand and she immediately felt bad for waking him up. He looked tired and strained.

But there was a sudden invigoration in him, lighting up his face, when he turned to look at her.  Jaal was on her instantly, peppering her face with kisses.

“My light, my hero. I was so worried. You did a foolish thing, taking thatshot for me.”

Sara shook her head, hugged him as hard as she could withthe saline drip still attached to her arm.

“I would take a bullet for you, any day. I love you, Jaal.”

He pulled away and skimmed his hand down her cheek.

“And I, you. I love you and I would take a bullet for you.”

She smiled shakily. She could only hope that he never hadthe chance to take a bullet for her. At least, she wanted him to be asprotected as possible.

She tilted her head towards the ceiling. “SAM, remind me tovid-call Nexus R&D to see if Jaal’s armor could get some upgrades.”

For his own good, Jaal didn’t protest.

bringing that hurt/comfort!! 

#Anonymous #jaal ama darav #sara ryder #rydaal #jaalxryder #jaalxsara #mass effect #mass effect andromeda #me:a #my fic #my fics #tw blood mention #tw injury #ToSdrabbles #long post

[tiaraofsapphires]

Ok, so how about now Jaal tries to cook something for Sara and the Tempest crew try to help (with dubious/hilarious results?)

ahaahaaaa pretend it isn’t 2 months later….sequel to this I guess I mean not really but same general universe?

The cookies were burnt.

Not in a way that could make them recoverable or evenremotely edible. These were blackened and hard like rocks. He could probablythrow one at the wall and it would make a loud noise.

In Jaal’s defense, it wasn’t like he was used to making thiskind of food. He was never one to bake, or anything like that.

He could make mealsjust fine. In fact, his fellow Resistance fighters often complimented him onhis skills. Then again, food was scarce and as long as something was edible,people would eat it and enjoy it. So, he could really have sub-par cookingskills and be none-the-wiser

This had been his first try at making Sara something fromthe Milky Way, something that had him nervous. He didn’t want to screw it up.

He had asked Vetra in private for a recipe and a way to get supplies.She was all too gracious in giving him a chocolate chip cookie recipe and whatshe could scrounge up for ingredients.

He, of course, paid her back with what meager stipend he receivedfrom the Initiative.

He got to work in the galley as soon as Sara left planetsideon a couple Pathfinder-related errands, Liam and Cora in tow.

He didn’t know what he was doing. He never particularlyliked Milky Way food to begin with.

But he followed the recipe to the best of his ability, madethe galley a mess with various powdery ingredients.

Occasionally, Vetra would come in to check and correct himon his technique.

“Don’t overmix the batter,” she had said.

Jaal didn’t know what would be considered ‘overmixing’ butcomplied. Obviously, Vetra was more the expert on this than he, so he wasn’t oneto argue.

Drack would come in as well from time to time, raiding thecabinets for food, sniffing at what Jaal was doing, making a comment on how ‘disgustinglyin-love’ Jaal and Sara were, and leaving.

Into the tiny oven for the prescribed amount of time. Hecleaned up, hands shaking with excitement and nervousness.

When the time ran out, there was the result of his work:charcoal.

He didn’t know what to do. He meant it as a surprise, allfor Sara. Just to make her happy. He knew she was tired, but she was alwaystired.

This job, what they were doing, took its toll on her. Itkept her up at night, painted dark shadows under her eyes.

He hated seeing her like that. And he wanted to make hersmile and forget about this seemingly unending war they were fighting.

Her face would light up when she told him stories about theMilky Way, about the things she had seen and done. The little things that nowseemed far away and now almost impossible in Andromeda.

Cookies, something her mother would make when it was cold,was a memory Sara revisited from time to time.

Stars above.

He looked at the pan and picked up one of the cookies, onlyto immediately drop it back down when it scalded his fingers.

Swearing under his breath, he ran his hand under cold water,still pondering how he would hide the evidence of his failure and perhapsimprovise some kind of surprise for his darling one when she returned.

“I thought it would be prudent to inform you that thePathfinder is ten minutes away from boarding the Tempest,” SAM chimed in fromhis omni-tool.

Jaal swore again.

“Hide the evidence or tell her the truth?” Jaal asked aloud.

“You could hide the evidence, but my sensors indicate smokein the air, which she will smell. I do not see any real difference betweeneither course of action. Either way, the Pathfinder will not be gettinghomemade cookies.”

Okay. Jaal made a decision.

The cookies ended up in the trash.

When Sara returned, Jaal dragged her into her quarters andfound ways to make up for a disaster that she knew nothing about.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) bet you can figure out what he did to make up for it

Hope that was enjoyable :D

#margoteve #jaal ama darav #sara ryder #rydaal #jaalxryder #jaalxsara #mass effect #mass effect andromeda #my fic #my fics #ToSdrabbles #ask and ye shall receive

[tiaraofsapphires]

my satellite (shine on me tonight)-Chapter 3

Soooo I’m back with an update (within a week of the most recent update but don’t get used to it lol)

Chapter 3: Convergence

Read on Ao3

Sara couldn’t stifle a laugh, which was an odd thing to do flat on her back with Jaal pressed between her legs.

“You know, I might’ve lied,” she giggled, “You might be able get me pregnant again while I’m still pregnant.”

He rolled his hips in a way that really ought to have been illegal and her laugh turned quickly into a moan.

When Jaal wanted to celebrate, he really did mean celebration. Sara could bet it was only for her sake that he wasn’t shouting and running around the Tempest telling everyone in existence that Sara was pregnant, that he was going to be a father.

This was nice, just the two of them, well, the three of them. There was never enough time for privacy in almost a month. They had to make up for the four days of near-absolute privacy, meaning working double-time and keeping their hands off of each other.

And then there was all that wasted time she spent keeping him at arm's length.

This wasn’t just a celebration, this was a recommitment. And Sara put her whole heart into it.

She hooked her legs around his hips to pull him closer.

He was so good to her, for her. Never selfish, always exploring and finding new ways to make her feel good. She wanted to fall into him.

“Jaal,” she whispered.

He rubbed tiny circles on her hips as he kept her pressed to the mattress. He was doing all the work, looming over her, pumping into her with a constant rhythm.

“You are exquisite,” Jaal said.

He pressed a trail of kisses down her throat until he stopped to tuck his face in the space between her neck and shoulder.

“The mother of my child.”

She smiled at that. It was something she loved hearing and probably would never get tired of hearing.

Her fingers roamed over his back, over the folds in the back of his head. She was rewarded by a jarring thrust, grinding and perfect.

Jaal’s breath washed over her skin, labored. She felt surrounded, all muscle and fragrance.

If what she read on pregnancy—and she did a lot of that in a frantic scramble for information—was correct, there might come a time where hormones would have him at her beck and call for sex. That would be fun. She couldn’t call it revenge, how could it be revenge if they both enjoyed it?

One day, she would be too big for them to have sex like this. It would be like having sex with a watermelon between them.

They would have to improvise. Maybe, he would turn her to her side and press against her back. Her stomach clenched at the idea, drawing a whimper out of her mouth.

She looked up and their eyes met. Jaal’s pupils were blown wide and his cheeks were colored with a blush.

He was beautiful.

Sara braced herself on her arms, leaning up to kiss him. Jaal licked into her mouth, the kiss immediately passionate and filthy.

When Jaal’s hand slipped between them, it was over.

Sara came with a shiver, almost curling forward with it. Jaal fell off the precipice shortly after, his release dripping out of her folds.

He kissed her everywhere he could reach as pulled out. The hand not bracing him over her didn’t leave where it rested on her stomach, like he didn’t want to let go.

“I can see it now.”

Gentle and warm, skimmed over her abdomen.

“Full with child, our child.”

She sighed, satisfied, boneless.

She said, “I love that thought. It’ll take a while, though.”

He chuckled and kissed her forehead.

“The wait will be worth it. Our child will be beautiful, just like you.”

She blushed. She never got used to that, being told she was beautiful.

He eased off of her and flopped next to her.

They were quiet for a while, just listening to each other breathe.

“We have to tell my mothers. And your brother. And the rest of the crew.”

She sighed, drooping against him.

“We do. I just...don’t want to go too quickly with this. SAM said—”

She tucked her face against his chest. There was the fear again, chasing the numbing buzz of her orgasm almost instantly.

“He said that the first 3 months are the most dangerous. It’s only been half a month. It’s why I didn’t tell you right away.”

Yeah, the post-coital bliss disappeared, like it never happened. She wasn’t sure if being super emotional was a symptom of her pregnancy or what. She had assumed it was too early for that sort of thing.

Her mouth turned in a trembling frown, glad her face was still close to his chest so he couldn't see her expression.

“You were—are afraid.”

His hand cupped her chin, pulling her back until he could see her face. She bit her lip and forced down the tears that wanted to spill over. Tears of fear, not happiness.

She laughed with a mirth she didn’t feel.

They were just getting right to the core of this, weren't they?

“I’ve been afraid since SAM told me. There’s no science, no precedence for this. We’re flying blind. We don’t—there’s no certainty that this will work out.”

He sat up to lay on his back, collecting her until she rested on his chest. His arms wrapped around her, like he was an anchor, something constant, something that was never going to leave.

“Have hope, Sara. You are strong. You are the strongest person I know.”

She smiled shakily. SAM had said something similar, but it felt different coming out of Jaal's mouth.

“Our child will live. I know it.”

The words rumbled in his chest, a visceral promise. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“But if you don’t want to tell everyone now, I will respect your wishes.”

“We could tell a few people,” Sara relented hesitantly, “Scott. Your mother Sahuna. Maybe the crew.”

Jaal chuckled, something she felt as much as she heard.

“Once my mothers know, all of Havarl and Aya will know and soon the entire cluster will know. They get very excited about grandchildren.”

She could imagine. Their child was going to be loved. Not just by the Tempest crew, but by an entire family on Jaal’s side.

It was a comforting thought.

“Okay,” she conceded, “How about we give it two weeks. Then we tell everyone.”

His arms squeezed around her.

“Together?”

“Yeah. Together.”

Silence fell again and Sara thought Jaal had fallen asleep before he sniffed with distaste.

“I don’t like the idea of telling those politicians of yours.”

That elicited a grin. He had his opinions of many things, never afraid to tell them plainly to her. He had his opinions on the Nexus leadership, often overlapping with hers.

Sara mused, “Kesh and Kandros are probably the best to tell first on the Nexus. I don’t want to have this conversation with Tann or Addison.”

She shuddered at the idea. Tann would immediately call for a replacement human Pathfinder before the whole the announcement left Sara’s lips and Addison would likely look down on her like she was some irresponsible teenager who got herself knocked up.

Sara was twenty-two—nearly twenty-three—and carried the fate of a fucking star cluster on her shoulders. She wouldn’t stand to be patronized.

Those two could find out via the grapevine for all she cared.

She lifted her head to lightly peck the skin she was lying on before resting again.

“I should tell Lexi, shouldn’t I? Before anyone else. Like, soon, today.”

She didn’t actually move to do so and Jaal didn’t move where his hands wrapped around her. In fact, they tightened a bit more.

“Yes. But, later. You are tired, my love, and I wish to hold you for a few more hours.”

…

She slept, not realizing how tired she was until she rested in Jaal’s arms.

After waking up and showering, Sara went to the med-bay. People saw her go in, but there was no reason for anyone on the Tempest except for Jaal to think anything out of the ordinary of it.

A check-up, a psych-eval. They could hypothesize all they wanted.

Needless to say, Sara was nervous. The whole doctor-patient confidentiality thing made it so it was unethical for Lexi to say anything outside of the med-bay walls. But she had no idea how the asari was going to react to the news.

She found the doctor alone, poring over one report or another, and let the door close behind her.

“Hey, Doc. Can I talk to you for a moment?”

Lexi, accommodating as always, set down her datapad and turned her full attention to Sara.

“Of course. What can I help you with?”

Sara shifted where she stood.

“You know a while ago I asked you about a stomach bug?”

Lexi didn’t need to look at a datapad to remember. She only had a handful of patients and a good memory. She could probably recall every injury Sara ever had.

“A stomach virus, yes. Are you still having issues?”

Nerves, again. Heartrate increasing, even as SAM tried to prevent a panic attack.

“Um. It’s sort of related. I—never was sick to my stomach. I had SAM alter your scans and my biology to make it look like I had a virus.”

Sara watched as anger reached Lexi's eyes, almost instantly.

“You what?”

Fuck, Sara really should’ve seen that coming.

“I—”

There was no stopping the asari doctor now. She was on a roll.

“Do you know how dangerous that is? I could've prescribed a drug you didn't need!”

Sara opened her mouth again, only for Lexi to barrel on.

“So, now SAM can make it look like you’re sick? He could make you look like you’re well and nobody would be the wiser. That’s dangerous and irresponsible.”

Boy, did Sara regret ever opening her mouth.

“Can I at least tell you why I did so in the first place?” Sara asked.

Lexi crossed her arms, the picture of discontentment.

“Do tell. It better be good.”

Best be out with it.

“I’m pregnant.”

Oh boy, that got Lexi to shut her mouth, with anger morphing to shock with such speed it was almost funny.

“You’re what!?”

Sara winced.

“Holy shit, keep it down! I don’t want the entire fucking ship to know, alright?”

Lexi was in her personal space almost immediately, shock turned to utter glee. Sara recoiled a bit.

“Does Jaal know? Oh, Goddess, this is amazing. Unprecedented.”

“Just you and Jaal and SAM know. I was planning on announcing it to more people, family, the rest of the crew, the Nexus, in a couple weeks. So, don’t say anything to anyone, okay?”

Lexi was clearly offended by that.

“Of course, I won’t say anything! What kind of doctor do you take me for?”

Sara held up her hands placatingly.

“Alright. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page.”

Now, there were four who knew. Eventually the whole cluster would know. A pregnant Pathfinder would be prime gossip.

“Do you know how far along you are?”

She reached for her datapad and started tapping away, probably making a file for the child.

“SAM told me sixteen days ago when the—the fetus implanted, or whatever.”

Lexi nodded.

“Tack on maybe a week between conception and implantation. Scans will tell me more.”

There were a hundred more questions that Lexi could ask, and all of them were in a tangle in her mouth. That much was clear. It was funny to watch, Sara supposed.

“Scans, huh? This doesn’t mean I’m suddenly your guinea pig for the foreseeable future,” Sara said.

“Oh, yes it does.”

Lexi spoke over Sara’s groan, “As the Tempest doctor, I have a prerogative to keep you, and now your child, alive. And that means you, Sara Ryder, are staying right here until I can finish my tests.”

Sara put on a pout, more for show than anything else. But there was little heat to it. As long as nothing Lexi did required hurting

They were in there for two hours.

Lexi didn’t call any red-flags, said the heartbeat was strong, that structures were forming along roughly how they ought to be.

“In a week, we’ll do a karyotype. Just to make sure,” Lexi advised, at the close of their meeting.

Sara nodded. She didn’t really have a choice but to agree.

Sara, for a moment, wished Jaal was human so that it wasn’t really necessary for all the poking and prodding and worrying.

But then she started trying to imagine what their child would look like—perhaps pink-purple skin and her eyes—and figured that it would be worth it in the end.

#jaal ama darav #sara ryder #rydaal #jaalxryder #jaalxsara #mass effect #mass effect andromeda #me:a #my fic #my fics

[tiaraofsapphires]

my satellite (shine on me tonight)-Chapter 2

finger-guns

Chapter 2: Isolation

Read on Ao3 here!

Sara was distracted. Correction: she was really, really fucking distracted.

Every time her mind wandered, which was more often than usual, she thought on the child and the road she took that got to her where she was.

Four days, a muddied cloud of fire and electricity and hormones that made her as desperate for him as he was for her. The fourth day had been a surprise, the metaphorical sun rising to Jaal’s head between her legs and his hips grinding into the mattress as he ate her out.

The tail-end of day two was the first time Sara had managed to peel Jaal off of her enough to leave her room and get some food from the galley and make sure nothing was exploding on the ship. She faced concerned clucking and questions from the rest of the crew the moment she stepped out, which she deserved. Apparently, her having SAM keep them in the dark had been a bad idea.

Her bruised mouth had been the only visible sign to the crew. She made sure to wear a high-collared shirt to hide the hickeys and bites that adorned her throat.

She had to tell them, of course. They had been idling in Eos’s orbit for two days without any explanation.

She told them the truth. Well, a censored version of the truth.

And that truth had the rest of the Tempest’s occupants exasperated (Vetra, Peebee, Kallo), smug (Liam, Cora, Drack, Suvi), or creepily interested (Lexi).

Ha, ha, the Pathfinder had no choice but get her rocks off with her boyfriend for days on end. Ha, ha, hormones and aliens. Hilarious.

But it wasn’t so funny when the brass on the Nexus were having collective coronaries over the fact that SAM had been rerouting messages and vid-calls meant for Sara to Cora with the simple and vague explanation of ‘Pathfinder Ryder is indisposed at the moment’. Tann and company had assumed that meant Sara had been injured.

Everyone on the Tempest was inclined to let them believe that.

Lexi had taken a vial of her blood during the third day the moment Sara stepped out of her room, insisting on getting some of Jaal’s blood too.

“For science,” she had said.

Sara heard Lexi murmuring about the various tests she was going to run as she retreated back to her room. It had been almost humiliating, that she was scuttling back to her bedroom to a horny boyfriend. Not only did Jaal need her, Sara needed him. It was like an itch under her skin, her need for him.

It was almost humiliating.

Almost.

Speaking of Lexi, Sara planned on avoiding the asari like the plague since SAM’s pregnancy revelation, metaphorically speaking.

She knew that if she gave Lexi a shadow of a reason to believe something out of the ordinary was happening, Lexi would hound her, even turn the rest of the crew against her to get her into the med-bay.

SAM became her de facto doctor, sampled her blood and scanned her abdomen, just to double-check what he had picked up through the implant.

The mix of hormones and the little lump of cells whose DNA didn’t fully belong to her confirmed it.

She was, indeed, pregnant. There was nothing that she could deny. And if SAM could pick it up, Lexi could too.

And Sara wasn’t ready to reveal it to anyone.

“Could you make it so it seems like I’m sick?” Sara asked. “Manipulate my body a little, maybe hack into Lexi’s tools?”

“Yes. It would be a simple task.”

Sara nodded at nothing where she sat in her room. She did that a lot, holing herself in her room for hours at a time, even before the pregnancy. Now, it was her sanctuary and her opportunity to make gameplans with her AI.

“Pathfinder business’, she’d claim for the benefit of the rest of the crew.

But Lexi was the clear and present issue.

“Would you rather make it seem you have a stomach virus or a cold?”

A nervous tapping on her knee. It had been a day since the revelation. While she had been content with just winging her way through keeping this secret, it because quickly evident that it wasn’t possible.

“A stomach virus would be easier to fake, right?”

“Yes. But it would seem suspicious if your symptoms are debilitating for more than three days.”

Sara covered her face and sighed.

Fuck, keeping this secret was a lot more difficult than she had anticipated.

SAM could occlude damning evidence from Lexi, from everyone. And all Sara had to do was make herself seem as normal as possible.

By the end of this, she could become a master deflector. She liked telling the truth, so this would be a learning process.

“Do it,” she said.

When she went to the med-bay complaining of stomach pain and vomiting, she lied and lied and SAM tricked and manipulated.

Lexi prescribed light meals and a syrup that Sara wasn’t planning on taking.

Sara stole a whole bottle of prenatal vitamins from med-bay—SAM clued her in on where it was—before Lexi could notice on her way out.

Sara had no idea why Lexi would have that sort of thing just laying around, but it wasn’t like she could ask.

She just smuggled the bottle out, read the instructions and took the dose as written.

The odds were stacked against her for this pregnancy, as far as she knew. If she could skew those odds in her favor, even just a little, she would.

If she lost the child to circumstances out of her control, fine. She accepted that.

But she would do her damnedest to keep her child alive.

It was torture, keeping this secret.

And honestly it was a miracle she was able to keep this eiroch-size piece of information between her and SAM for as long as she did. Just about every conversation was a battle to keep her damn mouth shut. Every time she spoke to anyone on the Tempest, she felt like she was choking on her words. She wanted to tell someone, anyone.

She got within an inch of telling Tann of all people in a fit of frustration (because gods help her the bureaucrat refused to see outside his racist and self-aggrandizing view of the world no matter how many kett she killed or how many allies she pulled onto the Initiative’s side) but reeled herself in at the last moment.

The only two people who knew about it were her and SAM, making her very much alone in this.

Vid-calls with Scott were difficult. He was doing well with his physical therapy, though still dejected over being near-crippled by the coma.

She wanted to tell him that he might be an uncle. Her mouth stayed shut.

And speaking with Jaal under any circumstance was excruciating.

He loved her so much, more than any partner she had ever had before. He took every opportunity to show it, in small, quiet ways, and in large, bombastic ways.

Every time he touched her, gave her words of endearment, even looked at her, her stomach clenched and she’d find an excuse to extract herself from him as quickly as possible.

He was a reminder and though she knew she was hurting him by pushing him away, she didn’t know what else to do.

It ate her up on the inside, keeping this huge secret pertaining to him. Something he would want to know, because she knew how important family was to the angara. She already knew that someday Jaal would want a family of his own, whether biological or even perhaps adopted.

Now she had this possibility for him of family, biological family. A possibility that was getting more and more likely as the days progressed.

But she didn’t say anything.

Day fifteen came with a knock at her door.

SAM had just told her that he could feel the child’s heart beating now, a tiny faint sound that she couldn’t hear but it was enough that an AI could.

Her hands wiped at her knees, joy and fear filled her in tandem.

The heart was beating. The child had a working heart.

Her instinct was to tell whoever it was to go away. But it had become increasingly clear that the rest of the people on the Tempest were getting suspicious of her behavior.

She relished her private time to begin with, in fact, she needed it to prevent herself from going insane with all the things coming at her at once. But, this was getting to an excessive amount.

She knew it. Even SAM had warned her that people were beginning to get suspicious.

“Jaal is at the door. And from what I heard between him and Liam, I predict he is not going to leave any time soon,” SAM said.

Fuck. There was no hiding from that. And she had a feeling SAM was going to let him in whether she liked it or not.

“Let him in,” Sara said, standing up.

Their child had a heartbeat.

“Jaal, hi,” she greeted, sounding hesitant and stilted even to her ears, when he stepped into the room.

The father of her child. That child had a heartbeat. Alive, so, so alive.

“Sara. My love,” he replied, all affection.

He came to her and she bounced on her toes to peck a light kiss on the lips. A tentative grin, forced closeness. Keeping appearances for no one.

“How—how are you?” she asked.

The hesitation, wavering at the edge of a cliff. He didn’t look at all convinced by her attempt at conversation.

“I have been well. Liam and I have been working on the Nomad.”

She nodded. It was good her team continued to work and mesh together.

He held out his hands, the picture of affection and concern, and she could help but put her hands on his, letting him hold her in this small way. He was warm and solid and she was melting.

She was crumpling.

“Is something wrong, my darling?” he asked. A squeeze on her hands. If he shifted his hands around her wrists, he would feel her pulse racing.

A swallow around a lump, everything wavering around her.

Angara hid their illnesses well. She could hide her weakness just as well. She was good at letting herself fade into the background and letting her emotions be hers and no one else’s. Her anger, her sorrow, her grief, her fear.

Now she felt pinned, exposed.

Their child had a heartbeat.

“You have been distant the past several days. You don’t look me in the eyes and flinch away from me.”

Fuck, she couldn’t do this. He was too earnest and too sad, how could she lie to him?

Her eyes fell to where his hands cradled hers. She couldn’t say anything. There was the instinct to recoil from him and protect her secret.

Their secret, really, if she just got herself together for once in her fucking life and just spat it out.

Fifteen days after implantation. A heartbeat.

There was still the chance this wasn’t going to work out. She might end up losing the child and all of these hopes would’ve been for nothing and their hearts would be broken.

But still, she was being unfair to him, being curt with him and shoving him away.

“Did—did I do something wrong?” he whispered.

She shook her head, genuine sorrow crushing her chest. Of course, he blamed himself.

He had blamed himself when the hormones had cleared weeks ago, back when things were still fairly simple. He had begged for forgiveness for something that didn’t need forgiving.

It was biology, not his fault.

And she liked it. She made sure he knew that. Then he smiled and they moved on.

But it still followed them. It would now follow them for the rest of their lives, for good or ill.

He blamed himself then, he blamed himself now.

Technically he did do something, perhaps not something wrong. They both did. If they had only used birth control, condoms, anything, she wouldn’t be in this position.

“No, no. You’re perfect, Jaal. It’s just—.”

Words caught in her throat again.

The moment she told someone else was the moment that this became real. This wasn’t just some concept cooked up between her and SAM, confirmed by blood tests and a bioscan.

This would become very real, all of it.

Jaal deserved to be the first to know.

Her lip shook, tears building blindingly in her eyes.

He was too close, this secret ballooning between them. She hated it.

“Fuck,” she whispered. “I’m—

Sara leaned forward to rest her forehead on the center of his chest. He had been working in engineering. He smelled like oil and smoke, a strange juxtaposition to the lotions and perfumes he used.

She flinched when his hands rested on her lower back. It was supposed to be warm and anchoring, and it was, in some way. But she wanted to crawl out of her skin at the same time.

“I’m pregnant,” Sara said in a rush.

Immediately, she sagged against him and braced for impact. He inhaled sharply, shock making his body shake against her.

“Pregnant? How—how?”

She couldn’t read his voice. Blood was rushing in her ears.

Surprise? Suspicion?

“I don’t know!” Sara exclaimed, betting on the latter. “It must’ve been—I don’t know. SAM has his theories on how this happened.”

SAM remained silent.

“But it’s yours. There’s no way it isn’t,” she said.

There really wasn’t.

“I know we didn’t plan this. I’m sorry.”

He cupped her face in his hands and she finally shut her mouth, finally looking up to his face.

“What is there to be sorry about?” he asked.

He was breathless, exhilarated. Like after a victory, only without the risk of dying.

“How far along are you?”

That was the first question he asked?

She felt too big for her skin, but in a good way. No anger from Jaal. Only happiness, a desire to know and understand.

“I’ve known for fifteen days. SAM said its heart is beating now.”

He laughed, a happy thing.

“Really? Already?”

His voice was suddenly thick and that was when Sara realized there were tears tracking down his face. Sara sniffed wetly in response and rubbed her eyes.

“Stop crying, you’re making me cry!” she said.

“Why? I’m crying because I’m happy.”

He leaned down and kissed her forehead, then the bridge of her nose.

And they laughed. They laughed through tears and swayed in place where they held each other, like they were dancing

“You are incredible,” Jaal whispered. “No matter how this miracle happened. You are the most incredible woman I have had the privilege of loving.”

Sara caught his mouth with hers.

She loved him. She loved him so goddamn much she felt like she was going to explode with it.

Why didn’t she tell him sooner? Why did she draw out this pain for days and days when they could’ve experienced the first couple weeks together?

But she supposed it didn’t matter now. He knew and they were together and it was perfect and their child had a fucking heartbeat.

“I love you too, Jaal. I’m sorry I kept this from you.”

“You were afraid. I understand that. But I am overjoyed.”

His hands left where they pressed on her back to rest over her abdomen.

“Right here. Our child is right here.”

Sara nodded, covering his hands with hers.

Still no evidence of a bump, not long enough along that there would be anything. She squashed the doubts that threatened to rise up. There would be time to ruminate over that later. She deserved a win, for once.

“I already know you will be a wonderful mother, Sara.”

She couldn’t imagine what their child would look like yet, but she knew the child would be loved by both of them. Gods, Jaal would dote on their child.

“And you’ll be a great dad, Jaal.”

He stepped back half a step and Sara couldn’t help but reach up and wipe some tears away from his face. They were happy tears, sure, but she still didn’t like seeing them.

“I want to meet our child,” Jaal said, pausing with a grin. “Our child. I love the sound of it.”

She liked the sound of it too, especially on his lips.

Their child. She was the mother of his child. He was the father of her child. A real family.

With a clumsy movement, Jaal knelt down in front of her, hands on her hips and pulling her forward. Then his hand pushed up her shirt until her skin was bared.

He leaned forward and rested his ear against her stomach.

“Jaal?” Sara asked, a strange joyous feeling making her dizzy.

He shushed her and she obediently kept her mouth shut for a few seconds before saying, “I don’t think you can hear it yet, Jaal. I don’t think your hearing is that good.”

“I know, dearest one. But I’m imagining that I can. I’m sure it’s a strong heartbeat.”

He pressed a kiss on her stomach before looking back up at her. His eyes were still bright and shiny, like he was still holding back tears.

Sara grinned down at him, blinking back tears of her own.

A mischievous quirk on Jaal’s mouth was the only warning Sara got before he had hooked one arm behind her knees, the other braced on her back, her feet leaving the ground.

They laughed together as he carried her the short distance to her—their, really—bed before gently setting her down on the covers.

Jaal rested between her spread legs, kissing a trail of fire across her jaw and down her throat.

“I don’t think you can get me any more pregnant than I already am,” she giggled, breath hitching when teeth nibbled at her pulse point.

Sara realized how much she missed this. Keeping this distance between them in her attempt at keeping this a secret had been just as much a session of self-flagellation as it was anything else.

Now he knew and she felt better. Like she could do this.

“Perhaps. But this is a reason of celebration, yes?”

His hands skimmed up and down her sides, eager, as she sighed a ‘yes.’

Yeah, time for celebrating.

#jaal ama darav #sara ryder #rydaal #jaalxryder #jaalxsara #mass effect #mass effect andromeda #me:a #my fic #my fics

[tiaraofsapphires]

my satellite (are you here tonight?)- Chapter 4

Nice and update!

Chapter 4: Calamity

Read on Ao3 here!

It was a relief to now have Jaal by her side, fully aware of everything that was going on. And it was also a relief, of course to a lesser extent, to have Lexi on their team as well.

Their time was spent in a mixed bag of on-the-sly prenatal care and trying to maintain appearances.

They, meaning Sara and Lexi, did an ultrasound, with only the two of them in the room, in the quest of arousing as little suspicion as possible.

Sara was beginning to hate the sneaking around, hated it even more when she was seeing this without Jaal with her.

As soon as the image focused, Sara vowed to bring him with her every time they saw the baby, crew’s suspicions be dammed.

It was a little pulsing lump, almost peanut-shaped. It didn’t look like anything close to human or angara or in-between the two yet

It was beautiful.

“That’s—that’s it,” Sara murmured, pointing a shaky hand at the image.

“There it is. Your little baby,” Lexi confirmed. She was smiling.

She didn’t cry then, but when she showed Jaal the pictures hours later and saw the trembling hope and undisguised awe in his face, she had to bury her face into his shoulder and compose herself.

After the initial excitement, it didn’t take a mind reader to know that Lexi was concerned about the whole human-angara hybrid situation. The scans so far looked promising as they could this early in the pregnancy, but Sara knew that Lexi had her misgivings.

They were going to wait for further development before more rigorous tests. Lexi wasn’t going to push anything that would potentially hurt the child, especially anything that required poking around at it.

This wasn’t a normal pregnancy. Sara had no illusions about that.

Hell, Sara was sure the only reason Lexi wasn’t berating her on the whole ‘you should've practiced safe sex’ thing and the ‘you shouldn’t have had sex with Jaal when he was going through a hormonal event that you didn’t understand’ thing and the ‘this entire situation dangerous both for you and your child, but mostly you’ thing was that Lexi didn’t want to accidentally alienate her patient.

And it was a good thing she kept her mouth shut. Sara already gave those things enough thought, and didn’t want them thrown in her face from a different person.

They already had their spats over SAM and his influence on her physiology. Sara didn’t want to have that conversation that would likely ultimately end in a ‘you shouldn’t go through with this.’

Sara was going to see this through, good or ill, and deal with whatever fallout may come.

It was an unspoken agreement between the two of them that Sara would still do her Pathfinder duties, like nothing had changed, though perhaps not get into firefights with everyone who looks at her funny.

Jaal didn’t like the idea, but when Sara reminded him that pregnant angara still fought against the kett until they couldn’t anymore, he kept his mouth shut.

It was for the best. If things changed suddenly, questions would be asked. So far, the cluster had been quiet enough that most problems didn’t require a Pathfinder’s hand. More and more militia were being defrosted and sent to defend the various outposts, especially after the losses sustained after the battle to take Meridian. And there were three other Pathfinders that could help.

“Tell me you will think about stepping away,” Jaal had asked.

She couldn’t give him a solid answer.

Things were smooth, relatively speaking. She could almost seriously entertain the idea.

Until she received a flurry of emails from Kadara.

Christmas Tate had been doing his best with an outpost surrounded by slowly-healing sulfur springs and every manner of criminals.

Reyes had been as welcoming as he possibly could be to an Initiative outpost after putting a bullet in Sloane Kelly. But Tate was spread thin even with the Initiative militia present and the emails that he sent Sara made it clear that he needed a Pathfinder, specifically Sara, to help.

Allegedly, the general population held some feelings of respect for her, aside from severe Initiative malcontents, any surviving Outcasts, and the Roekaar.

Plenty of people wanted her dead. What else was new?

But there was no choice but for them to dock on Kadara and there was no choice for Sara but to disembark.

Jaal was insistent he go with her, enthusiastic to a point it seemed strange to Vetra, who was scheduled to go planetside to begin with.

Everyone and their mother knew Jaal hated Kadara. There was no reason he’d volunteer to come without good reason.

“Maybe we can raise our child here,” Sara mumbled when it was just the two of them in the armory as the ship started its descent.

Jaal looked utterly insulted, ducking down to hiss in her ear.

“Our child will not live in such a place of squalor and depravity like Kadara.”

Sara grinned and lightly nudged him.

“I know. I’m kidding. We’ll find somewhere.”

Jaal huffed and kissed the top of her head before shuffling out, muttering something about ‘sulfur springs’ and ‘horrible smell’.

Sara’s smile immediately evaporated as she focused on getting her armor on.

She really shouldn’t have turned that stone. It brought about questions that they didn’t have answers to yet.

Where would they raise their child? What would they do after it was born? Neither Jaal nor Sara would put themselves in positions to orphan their child, at least to the best of their ability.

And, right now, Sara was putting herself in a position where their child could die before it even had a chance to live.

Boy, did that make her feel like the worst person ever to live ever.

Still, duty called.

Sara donned the toughest chestplate in the armory and prayed to any gods that would listen that this wouldn’t end in disaster.

Lexi didn’t need to give her a warning before Sara got off the ship.

Don’t take a bath in the sulfur ponds. Don’t get shot.

Easy.

She checked and double-checked her armor, slung two assault rifles on her back, tucked a pistol to her hip, and collected her crew.

“Let’s not pick any fights we can avoid,” she said. “We’ll help Tate, you know, iron stuff out, and leave. Hopefully no one causes us any trouble.”

Vetra tapped fist against her open hand. “If they do, they’re screwed.”

Sara nodded.

“Very. Let’s go.”

Sara strode down the ramp on the back of the Tempest with Jaal and Vetra at her back. There was a confidence she didn’t feel as she walked.

She was Pathfinder. She got in firefights on a near-daily basis for months in

Tate wasn’t there to meet them, but they were quickly approached by a human woman who introduced herself as Yesenia Lopez.

“I’m Tate’s assistant,” she said in a way of explanation. She didn’t seem to like the idea of it, of being sent to do his errands.

Sara didn’t take in personally. It wasn’t like everyone was happy with the positions they were put in after being defrosted. She nodded. “Good to meet you.”

Yesenia gestured with a hand.

“I’ll take you to Tate. He has a laundry list of things he wants you to help him with.”

Sara internally groaned. Of course, just her luck.

Over the private channel, Sara muttered, “SAM, tell me if anything looks suspicious. Like, for real suspicious.”

“I will. There are no current threats around you.”

Alright. A couple minutes into her trip and no threat. So far, so good.

Sara didn’t want to think about the very precious and vulnerable thing that was sitting inside her. Not even a month into the pregnancy and there she was.

To be fair, very few of the habitable worlds were habitable at all. She was more likely to cause damage to herself and her child on Elaaden or Voeld, both of which were still on their way to reaching temperatures close to normal.

Can’t hide from the weather, but can shoot at people who want to shoot at her.

So. There wasn’t much she could do. It’s not like she could only take missions on Aya and Eos, which now had solar radiation levels that could be easily blocked by life support or even sunscreen.

She just had to find a way to boost her life support in her suit for Elaaden and Voeld. And hope that nobody shot at her when she was on Kadara.

Fine. It was all going to be fine.

Yesenia led them through the outpost. People they passed stopped and whispered.

There were always whispers.

Respect, disdain, mistrust, admiration. She didn’t want to be a god or a despot. She signed up to the Initiative to serve.

With that came whispers and titles. Savior of Heleus. The Initiative’s errand girl.

This entire situation was totally not planned, not even close to in-line with what she thought she would face at the end of a 600-year-long nap.

“How are things at the outpost?” Sara asked in way of conversation. Only so much could be gathered from just looking at the superficial.

Yesenia jumped at the question and glanced at her. There were bags under her eyes, a weariness in her posture. But she looked nervous, on-edge. “It could be better. Definitely could be better.”

That didn’t sound good, but Sara couldn’t know for a fact that what she was hearing really was that bad.

“Anything that I can do to help?”

She nodded, mouth curling in what could be mistaken for a grimace. “Definitely. I don’t think Tate would’ve contacted you if he knew you couldn’t do anything.”

They walked and walked to stop in a tiny courtyard-space surrounded by box-like buildings. The outpost had enough resources to pretty-up the place. Native flowers grew in boxes alongside small patches of familiar-looking crops.

Sara looked around, something like irritation heating her face. Tate was nowhere to be seen. They came all this way, and Tate couldn’t be bothered to show up on time?

“Where’s Tate? As much as I love seeing the outpost, you know, I’d like to actually do the stuff I was called here to do.”

She stared at Yesenia, looking for an explanation. The other woman seemed guilty for a second.

“Ah, I already messaged him. He will be here soon.”

Huh.

Neither Vetra nor Jaal said anything. They just shifted where they stood, looking around in idle curiosity.

Really, Sara shouldn’t have felt suspicious. She could chalk it up to prenatal paranoia that something felt wrong.

Still…weird.

She was about to ask SAM if Yesenia had actually used her omni-tool to contact Tate at all while they were walking when he spoke up over the private channel.

“Sara, the turian at your 11-o-clock is a combative position. His hand is going for the weapon on his back. Also, I have Lopez scanned and her heartrate is higher than what is normal.”

Panic like a lance cut through Sara instantly.

She glanced to the left, the action unseen because of the tint in her helmet, to see the turian in raggedy armor. His hand was moving to grab the butt of his shotgun. She glanced to the right to see that sweat glistened in Yesenia’s hairline. Her eyes were cutting towards the turian, almost like she was waiting for him to make a move.

Shit. Shit.

A set-up. They were set-up.

Sara fumbled for her pistol, the quickest thing she could access.

He was going to kill her. He was going to wound her and end up killing her child. She didn’t know. She couldn’t know. Either scenario couldn’t happen.

She had to kill him first.

She aimed just as he brought his shotgun from over his shoulder, pulling the trigger.

His knee buckled a bit right as he shot at her, firing too high, sailing over their heads.

The bullet exchange happened almost simultaneously, an explosion of sound.

People were screaming, Jaal and Vetra tensing behind her, hopping into action.

Sara staggered back, one hand holding her pistol and the other bracing across her abdomen.

She didn’t take him down. It wasn’t enough.

Fear narrowed her vision, closed over her throat.

If this had happened a month earlier, she would have stepped in front of Jaal and Vetra without hesitation.

But now there was something else to focus on: her child. Her little child who had no choice in being her child, no choice in being put in this position.

Jaal made the decision for her. He had her by the scruff of the neck, a handful of her armor, and yanked her behind him, shielding her with his body.

The turian male shouted something that she couldn’t understand and aimed at Jaal.

“No!” Sara yelled, impotent, useless.

While Jaal and Sara moved back, away from the turian, Vetra moved forward.

Vetra was quick and deadly, gunshots ringing out before the male could think to aim at this new target. And he was on the ground, holes smoking in his head.

“Are we clear?” Sara shouted, at SAM, at Jaal and Vetra, at anyone who would give her a straight answer.

“Clear!”

Jaal immediately turned to her.

“Are you okay?” Jaal asked.

His hands skimmed up her sides, brushing over her stomach. Sara shook her head, trying to put a semi-normal amount of space between them.

No, no, don’t treat me differently, not here.

“We’re fine, we’re fine.”

She said that like she knew for sure that was the answer. She didn’t know. She could’ve been shot and shock would’ve made it so she didn’t feel it.

But Jaal wasn’t panicking in a way that would indicate that she was injured and she didn’t feel anything so she could be fine but she didn’t know.

Vetra stared at them with a look of both confusion and suspicion.

Sara stayed impassive on the outside, giving an air of ‘oh, my concerned boyfriend, coddling me’, a lie and a truth meshing perfectly on her face. Just enough for the turian to buy it, maybe.

On the inside, she was frantic on SAM’s private channel, more emotion than words.

SAM already had an answer before she could ask the question, like he had already checked everything possible the moment the attack ceased.

“Sara, I am not detecting any changes with the health of the fetus. Though I would suggest not getting into that kind of situation again, both for your sake and for the sake of your unborn child.”

The words echoed around in her head, like a balm. She nodded at nothing.

Right. Not going to do that again.

A glance to the right and she saw Yesenia’s retreating back. She wasn’t running, but wasn’t walking either. Trying to be as nonchalant and disappear into the crowd while the chaos swirled around the outpost.

Pure rage had Sara’s hand lifting up her pistol.

She felt it, a jolt of energy that radiated from shoulder to fingertip, as she lifted and aimed. With the lightest squeeze, a single bullet left the barrel.

Her aim was true. She didn’t feel a thing.

…

The rest of the stop, fulfilling the various menial jobs and mediating arguments, passed in a numb blur.

Tate had rained apologies for the breach in security, promising that nothing like that would ever happen again.

The turian, Alescus, was a former Outcast with a history of violence. He had paid Yesenia off, a hefty sum, to bring Sara out to the open.

Yesenia was still alive, barely, locked up in the outpost’s little prison.

Sara wished she had killed her.

There were suggestions made that they go back to the Tempest and leave. But some idiot part of her made her bark an order to stay.

She remembered Jaal and Vetra, especially Jaal, looming over her like the fiercest of bodyguards.

It was to make her feel safe. To make sure everyone else around them knew that if there was another attack, there would a hail of bullets to meet the attacker.

Without prompting, SAM knew to fiddle with her physiology, make her hands shake less, make her heart beat a little slower, even giving her prompts as to next steps.

It was a temporary thing, not even fully fixing the panic. It was still there, an ache sitting in the center of her chest. When it was time to fully feel, she would feel it and it would suck. She knew that.

SAM kept her spine straight, kept her composed, until she decided it was time to leave.

She resolved what she could and put tape and bandaids over what couldn’t be fixed in a day.

Tate was grateful for the help, that much was clear. It was some small victory to be had, though she was antsy to get to the privacy of her room on the Tempest.

SAM quietly informed her that he had been collecting names and details of all the errands she did that day and was already writing reports to be sent to the Nexus for filing away. She didn't need to ask how he’d be able to make it sound like her writing in the reports. He had his database on everything Sara Ryder and could probably masquerade as her through words for the foreseeable future.

She was in such a mood that any reports she wrote herself would probably unintelligible.

All she could think about was the light in that turian’s eyes, how he was out to kill her. He could’ve succeeded. He could’ve killed her. He could’ve killed Jaal or her child, which would have been the same as killing her. She knew her heart would've been shattered if she lost either of them.

It was a terrifying thing. The love of her life, and the product of their love for each other. Two things that she found on Heleus that she now couldn't bear to lose.

Her heart hurt in her chest. She wanted to cry and cry because she almost died and she almost lost everything.

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to so many people.

But she knew she was being selfish. It wasn’t just her and her family that deserved safety and security in Heleus. She was Pathfinder. She was to provide safety and security at the expense of her own. That was how it fucking worked.

Now, it wasn’t as simple.

She had a conversation that she couldn’t remember with Suvi and Kallo about getting underway and going somewhere. Probably towards the Nexus. It was a safe bet that she said something about heading to the Nexus. Or to Meridian. One of the two.

Her fingers shook when she took off her armor. She fumbled over the latches and buckles as one by one, she looked less like a warrior and more like...something else. It felt like she was exposing herself, somehow less safe in the walls of the Tempest.

SAM said her child still lived where it rested inside of her. It was some source of relief. It had to be.

Lexi demanded another check-up, even though it had been two days since she last saw Sara. That was Tomorrow Sara’s problem. Right now was Scared-Out-Of-Her-Mind Sara’s time to try to make sense of what the hell happened.

Jaal followed her out of the armory, similarly freed of his armor and his weapons in their proper places.

The door shut behind Jaal as Sara moved further into her quarters. She sat down on the bed, kept her back to Jaal.

Inhaled and exhaled, shuddering.

Sulfur still clung to the back of her throat and coated her skin. She needed a shower. She wanted to boil herself and get rid of the memory of cruel eyes and a bullet that didn’t meet its mark.

Her hands moved up to rest on her stomach.

Still alive. Not tangible yet. She wished she was further along, that there was a little lump there that she could rub and know was real.

She was going to be a mother. She wanted to experience her child, all that she could.

“You shouldn’t be going out the field anymore, Sara,” Jaal said, shattering the silence.

She immediately bristled, still not looking at him.

“I’m pregnant, Jaal. I’m not an invalid.”

There was a pause. “What happened today could have killed our child, killed you.”

Sara’s irritation turned to anger, near-incoherent.

“That is a risk I have to take!” she yelled. “Living in Heleus isn’t 100% safe even if I wasn’t Pathfinder. But I am Pathfinder.”

Her hands were shaking, hadn’t stopped even since they left Kadara’s atmosphere, when SAM let her feel the panic that was at a simmer under the surface since the first shot.

It had been a close call. If Jaal hadn’t been there, she didn’t know what could have happened.

She barreled on. “I need to keep up appearances. I can’t just hole myself on the Tempest and not do anything. I’m still Pathfinder. I still have a job to do.”

When Jaal touched the top of her head, she jumped as if poked with a sharp object. She didn’t hear him move to stand by her side.

He recoiled.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered.

Sara shook her head.

“It’s fine. I—please touch me.”

His hand immediately returned to the top of her head. She relaxed immediately, whatever could be considered ‘relaxed’ in the middle of a near-panic attack. He fingered the loose strands of hair that had come loose from her ponytail.

Her anchor. Gods, she wanted to cry.

“My dearest, I’m not asking you to give that up.”

She scoffed. Funny, how he was usually the blustery, emotional one and she was usually the one to reason him out of irrational reactions.

He continued in a murmur, “I just—I want you to be safe. And I want our child to be safe.”

She sighed and rubbed her face with her hands. This was where the difficult part came in, a kind of choice where there wasn’t really a clear right-and-wrong.

She didn’t know what to do. There was the safety of her child and there was her duty as Pathfinder. Both could exist at the same time, but it would be difficult. She couldn’t imagine going on raids anymore, killing kett and actively seeking out groups that want her dead.

One wrong move and this would all be for nothing.

But this was her job. She was the fucking human Pathfinder and her father foisted this job on her by fucking dying. She had no choice in this and she didn’t know how to let it go. She was Pathfinder. That and the paths she took in order to keep the cluster safe sunk into her DNA and was the entire reason she was pregnant in the first place.

“I don’t know who I am outside of being Pathfinder.”

She wrung her fingers together.

And that seemed to the root of the problem. Of course, she had her ‘abandonment issues.’ Her distant relationship with her parents, followed by her mother’s death, followed by her father’s death. And then there was the fear of losing anyone else because she cared too much about everyone.

And now there was this, this crippling feeling of inferiority. She couldn’t do everything, but she had to do everything. She had to help everyone, but couldn’t help everyone.

This pregnancy was going to put her on the sidelines at some point. It had to. Once she got big enough, she would have to stop going out in the field. She physically wouldn't be able to fight in the ways she was used to.

Even now, her mind was focusing on protecting her child. Her world’s axis shifted from the safety of billions of lives, to the safety of one. It snuck up on her.

“What am I when I’m not Pathfinder?”

She looked up from where she was focused on her hands when Jaal moved to kneel before her.

“You are the woman I love. You are the hero of Heleus.” He took her hands in his.

“If you can’t be Pathfinder, you still conquered the Remnant and the kett. You brought your people home.”

His hands rubbed on her thighs, massaging the tension out of them.

“My starlight.”

That drew a smile to her lips. Sometimes, the kinds of things he said would almost make her swoon like out of an old-time romance novel.

Jaal’s expression hardened. “My heart stopped the moment that cretin attacked you. I wish I could’ve killed him myself.”

She brought his hands up to her mouth and kissed his knuckles. There was little more she could do.

“I’m sorry for making you worry. I know—I know it was a mistake to go down there. But I don’t know what else to do. People look to me.”

He nodded.

“The burden of leadership. But you are not alone in this. Cora was your father’s second, was she not?”

She chewed the inside of her cheek. She couldn’t say anything.

She worked so hard to prove herself to Cora as usurper of the Pathfinder role. Giving it up to Cora made bitterness churn in her stomach.

Hearing nothing from her, Jaal squeezed her hands. “For our sakes, think about it. I just—I want to keep you safe. You and our child. I couldn’t stand to lose either of you.”

She nodded. At least they were on the same page in that aspect.

“Okay. I’ll—I’ll think about it. Maybe once we talk with Kandros we can get something sorted out with the APEX teams. With Cora, that can come later.”

Twelve more days and the entire damn cluster would know she was pregnant.

Jaal’s hands slipped under her shirt to rest on her stomach.

“Soon, our child will be in our arms. Now, it sleeps, safe. You are keeping it alive. You have the greater burden. I wish I could take some of it from you.”

He was earnest, guilty-sounding. She shrugged, cupped his face in her hands. His eyes narrowed a bit at the touch, kind of like a cat.

“It’s biology,” Sara murmured, trying to assure him that he had no reason to feel guilty. “But, you get to hold back my hair when morning sickness comes and massage my feet when they get swollen.”

She leaned down and kissed him.

“Gladly,” he said with a smile, “Anything for the mother of my child.”

#jaal ama darav #sara ryder #rydaal #jaalxryder #jaalxsara #mass effect #mass effect andromeda #me:a #my fic #my fics

[tiaraofsapphires]

my satellite (shine on me tonight)

Summary: The long-awaited sequel to carnivore, carnivore in which consequences catch up with Sara and change everything.

Warning: talk of pregnancy and miscarriage (the latter doesn’t actually happen but just in case)

Read here on Ao3!

“Sara.”

She started with the faintest twitch as the voice sounded over the private channel. She had dozed off, mind drifting, as she stood at the bridge.

The stars took her attention from where they idled just outside of Aya’s orbit.

Her blunt nails resumed a rhythmless tapping on the console.

“Yeah?”

SAM didn’t use her given name often, no matter how many times she told him that it was okay to refer to her as ‘Sara’ and not ‘Pathfinder’ when they were in private.

Now for him to just use that out of the blue was definitely something that caught her attention.

There was a pause for a beat, a bit longer. Hesitation. And SAM wasn’t often hesitant.

“SAM,” she pressed, “What is it?”

“I am detecting unusual levels of human chorionic gonadotropin in your blood.”

Sara blinked. It wasn’t like she expected SAM to beat around the bush regarding whatever he had to say, but that blunt fact was shocking and incomprehensible.

“Uh, I don’t know what that is, SAM. Layman’s terms, please.”

Another pause.

“It is a hormone produced by the human body when a fertilized embryo attaches to the uterus. I am detecting it in your body.”

She opened her mouth and shut it, his words sinking in. Still not exactly layman’s terms, but she got his meaning. And the world tilted, enough that Sara reached out and gripped console for balance.

“So, that means?” she squeaked, just needing the creeping truth told to her.

A cold sweat spread over her skin.

“I believe it means you are pregnant.”

Right.

She turned on her heel, Suvi’s concerned question falling on deaf ears.

The short path from the bridge to her quarters was travelled as if on autopilot. If Liam said anything when she passed him before ducking into her room, she didn’t hear it. The door closed on his trailed-off words.

“Lock the door. No access,” Sara exhaled.

Her chest felt tight, too tight, a rush of blood in her ears.

“Are you sure, SAM? Are you positive?”

“I am.”

Sara shucked off her jacket and rolled up her shirt to reveal the relatively flat plane of her stomach.

“I suppose congratulations are in order,” SAM said.

There was some kind of inflection in his voice, something she couldn’t identify. He was learning. And this was definitely something new for both of them.

Sara tried to laugh and made more of a choked noise.

Maybe he couldn’t gauge her reaction.

She couldn’t either.

Elation, fear, anxiety.

She yanked her shirt back over her stomach. It was foolish to try looking for a difference. She knew that nothing would be noticeable yet, if the child—the embryo—had literally just embedded in her body. Gods, SAM just had to make it sound like she was afflicted by some kind of freaky parasite.

It was likely only a few dozen cells large, won’t get big enough to make it obvious for a while. Not that she could remember anything from biology or sex-ed when her mind was swirling.

She was pregnant. With Jaal’s child.

And then there was the panic, enough to turn her knees to jelly. She sat down on her bed, leaning heavily on her knees.

Sara wasn’t an expert in biology, but she was good enough to know that this wasn’t, shouldn’t have been possible.

She wasn’t asari. She shouldn’t have been able to even get close to being pregnant by someone of another species.

And yet…if what SAM was saying was true, she was.

Pregnant.

It wasn’t like she hadn’t thought about the idea. A flight of fancy while in a sex hormone-induced craze, the strangely primal desire to bear her angara partner children. It had been nice to imagine at the time, incredibly hot, even, though she knew it wasn’t going to happen.

And yet…

“How is this possible?” she whispered.

“Perhaps interfacing with Remnant technology over long periods of time altered your DNA, making you genetically compatible with angara.”

“Can that happen?”

“The Jardaan were able to create an entire sentient species capable of reproduction. It is unlikely that their ability to manipulate life would be so limited as to your pre-existing genome.”

Sara cringed, not really liking the idea of an alien technology worming its way into her cells and fucking with her DNA.

“Coupled with Jaal’s mating heat and the way it altered your hormones, your body became incredibly fertile, increasing the chances for conception exponentially.”

A scoff. That was just a cascade of things that brought her to where she was at that moment.

Well, she supposed in the end it didn’t matter how this happened. It happened.

“What do I do?” she whispered.

“You have options.”

Genetic differences aside, she was Pathfinder, dealing with countless issues. She barely had time to keep up her relationship with Jaal in the first place, much less have a child.

Activating Meridian and taking down the Archon did much to alleviate the workload, but still. She had a hundred and one things to deal with.

Gods, how was the Initiative going to react to this? Both the fact that their human Pathfinder got herself knocked up and that a human was able to get pregnant by a Heleus race.

If there was a viable child—the possibility for more—between a Milky Way and Andromeda species, it would be hope for the future, ensured survival for at least two species.

‘Viable’ was the caveat. Sara didn’t know if this pregnancy was going to end in the next couple minutes or days or weeks or months with no child.

Fear made her hiccup, tears burning in her eyes.

Right. She couldn’t get her hopes up.

“Options, huh?”

Fingers drummed on her knee.

“Yes,” SAM mused. “You could keep the child. It would likely require an above-average amount of prenatal care. Or—.”

“I’m…gonna keep it,” Sara spoke up, too loudly, cutting SAM off.

She didn’t want to hear what else he had to say.

A lovely possibility. A bundle in her arms, probably wailing and screaming, human and not. Squishy and soft and vulnerable.

Hers.

But, it was a possibility, she wasn’t certain that this was going to happen.

She amended, “Try to keep it, at least.”

“I understand.”

She glanced down at her stomach and back at the closed door. Hopefully, suspicions hadn’t been raised by her behavior.

If anyone else other than SAM talked to her right now, this new secret would come spilling out. There was no question about that. Gods, especially if Jaal came knocking at her door, full of love and concern.

The father of her child. Their child.

Every fiber of her being wanted to jump up and tell him.

“Should I wait to tell Jaal?”

“You fear you will miscarry?”

Just the word said aloud made her throat burn. It was like she had swallowed broken glass.

“Well, I just conceived, didn’t I?” she whispered.

“Yes. Approximately an hour ago.”

“And there is a chance that this will just not work out.”

“It is a possibility, just as with any regular pregnancy. Typically, it is within the first three months after conception where the risk is greatest.”

Sara rubbed her face with her hands.

Of course, three months, ninety days. And it could be even longer for this kind of pregnancy.

“You are strong, Sara. You have traversed this new galaxy and done many things no one else could do.

“If anyone could do this, it is you. You can do this.”

She smiled slightly, just a twitch of the mouth, feeling a bit warm on the inside.

“I’m not getting Jaal’s hopes up only to miscarry within the hour,” she said, the choice clear in her mind.

“Very well.”

“Tell him without my permission and I will tear out my implant with my bare hands. Clear?”

This time, there was no delay in SAM answering.

“Of course.”

#jaal ama darav #sara ryder #rydaal #jaalxryder #jaalxsara #mass effect andromeda #mass effect #my fic #my fics