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cuubism · 6 months

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work is driving me fucking insane this week, so here's this silly self-indulgent thing i wrote to distract myself.

the spirit of this post is here as well XD

coffee shop au, meet cute, literally falling for your crush

In retrospect, forgetting to eat for three meals in a row wasn't Dream's best move. Not that he'd done it on purpose. Hence the forgetting. But taking time to cook always felt so wasteful when he was finally making progress on his novel. He could eat later, whenever the hyperfocus burned itself out.

The only thing that eventually got him out of the house was caffeine. He'd run out of both coffee and tea in the dysfunction of this week, and thus was forced to venture out to the cafe a few blocks away from his flat in search of enough energy to keep him awake for a few more hours.

Technically, there was a place that was closer. There was also a grocery store, where he could have bought coffee grounds. But Dream took the excuse to go a bit further, and not for the quality of the coffee.

He and Johanna, on the occasion she could convince Dream to leave the house and attempt to be part of society, had first started coming to this particular coffee shop because Johanna's girlfriend Rachel worked there. But Dream had to admit that what really kept him coming back, including at times when he wasn't being dragged along by Johanna, was another employee entirely.

Hob.

Hob was, in Rachel's words, "a perfectly nice guy but I don't know why you're so obsessed with him." In Johanna's words, Hob was, "quite fit, I can't lie, but I really thought you'd have gone for someone who's a bit more of an arts gremlin like you."

In Dream's words, Hob was perfect. He always had a smile for Dream, and a kind word or compliment, and he had kind eyes, and nice hands, and was terribly handsome. Dream had never been particularly attracted to masculinity before but Hob was proving him wrong over and over. He looked like he was strong enough to pick Dream up, and that did all sorts of exciting things to Dream's insides. Dream may or may not have had an actual dream about Hob holding his hand.

Hob also made terrible coffee. But Dream didn't care. He took whatever coffee Hob made him, whether the grounds were burnt, or it had way too much cream, or was vastly overbrewed, and drank it quite happily, sneaking looks at Hob all the while. Because Hob's coffee might be awful, but he always smiled at Dream as he gave it to him, and sometimes their hands brushed and it sent a thrilling little shock up Dream's arms. And anything Hob made for him felt made with love, he could tell, it was like a homemade birthday cake with uneven frosting and an undercooked part in the middle.

It was possible Dream should care more about the quality of the coffee and less about the symbolism of it.

In any case, he went to the coffee shop, underfed and undercaffeinated, hoping that Hob would be there, even if it meant he would have to down another cup of extremely bad coffee. Hob should be there, he did usually work Tuesday afternoons, not that Dream had memorized his schedule like a stalker or anything.

He stepped inside, the little bell over the door jingling, and found that he was right, Hob was there. A thrill of delight ran through him. Dream did not often feel anything as carefree or joyous as delight, but he was very sleep-deprived, and Hob was there, so there it was. Rachel was also working, and waved to him as he stepped up to the counter. As she and Johanna were both very aware of his embarrassing crush on Hob--much to Dream's chagrin--she didn't come over to take his order, instead leaving him to Hob.

"Hey, it's Dream, right?" said Hob, wiping off his hands on a towel and leaning on the counter, looking at Dream with a smile. He knows my name, Dream thought with a heady rush, then remembered that Hob was obligated to write it on his coffee cup, and that Dream came here often, and it didn't have to mean anything. "Dark roast with almond milk and caramel?"

How Hob could be so diligent about remembering his order and so terrible at making it, Dream didn't know. "That's correct," he said.

Behind Hob, Rachel mouthed keep going, which Dream took to mean that if he wanted to get anywhere he had to attempt to engage Hob in slightly more conversation than his usual coffee-ordering script. This was unfortunately true, particularly since Hob had already nullified half the sentences Dream would usually say by predicting his order.

"You remembered my order," he said, which felt like a reasonably normal response, definitely better than do you want to see if you can pick me up? which would probably be creepy. Rachel gave him a thumbs up.

"Of course. You're quite memorable," said Hob, and winked at him. Was he flirting? Dream would like to think so, but he wasn't usually very good at picking up on that sort of thing. Why would Hob be interested in him anyway? Perhaps he meant that Dream was memorable in a bad way, that he was annoying or weird, or--

Dream still hadn't responded.

"I am not trying to be," he said, and behind Hob, Rachel sighed. It was true, though. In most areas of life Dream preferred to go unnoticed. It was only Hob's attention that made him feel all bubbly inside.

"Task failed successfully," said Hob, "because I can't stop noticing you."

Was Dream... still succeeding at the conversation? That was truly unexpected, that he hadn't already turned Hob off by being utterly unsuitable for human society.

"Is that a good thing?" Dream asked.

"Is it?" asked Hob.

Undoubtedly it was. Dream liked the thought of Hob noticing him. He liked the thought of Hob remembering his name, and his coffee order, and when he came into the cafe, with as much detail as Dream had memorized his schedule. He did not normally like having people's eyes on him but he liked the thought of Hob looking. Of Hob caring about what he saw. It made him feel interesting and worthy, and sort of giddy and lightheaded--

Oh. No. That wasn't Hob's attention. That was the fact that the last meal he'd eaten had been a sleeve of biscuits for breakfast two days ago, and that he'd been on his feet for a long time, or what constituted a long time when one had only had a sleeve of biscuits two days ago to eat. And he hadn't slept, and he'd had quite an exciting few minutes just now, and apparently this all meant that his body had decided it needed to check out for a moment, thanks, goodbye.

Inconvenient timing, Dream thought, as everything went sort of spinny and blurry. He was making such progress! He really thought Hob might even like him, and falling on the ground was not going to help his case.

Inevitable now, though. The last thing he saw before he passed out was Hob's face, expression shifting from amusement to concern, and really, there were worse ways to go out.

He woke up not much later, or at least it felt like little time had passed, to find himself lying down on a couch in what seemed to be the cafe's back office, as best as his overtaxed mind could gather. And Hob was crouched beside him, looking at him worriedly, Rachel leaning over his shoulder, face likewise creased in concern.

Dream wondered how he had gotten to the couch. Had Hob carried him there? It was a pleasant thought, though he wished he could have experienced it in person.

"You know," said Hob, "there are easier ways to get out of talking to me than blacking out." The words were light, but he sounded genuinely stressed out about it.

Dream immediately felt bad. "I'm sorry."

Hob chucked him on the cheek, a light touch that felt fond. "Not what I meant. Are you okay?"

Dream carefully pushed himself up to sitting, Hob watching all the while, hands hovering over him but not touching. Dream sat up. His head didn't spin. "I am okay," he said.

"Probably didn't eat anything today, huh?" said Rachel. She didn't look quite as concerned as Hob did, she was used to Dream's habits. Meanwhile, for all Hob knew, Dream had a brain tumor and would imminently die.

"No," Dream admitted. "I was... occupied."

"Will you be okay here for a sec?" Hob asked, brow scrunching as if he truly thought Dream might just collapse again onto the floor without him. "I'll get you some water. Something to eat, too."

It was worth fainting in a public place, Dream thought, just to have Hob look at him with such care.

When Dream nodded, Hob hurried away to do just that.

Only now his crush was going to be one million times worse, and certainly not reciprocated, not after the scene he'd caused.

Beside him, Rachel was laughing, hiding it behind her hand.

"Is my suffering humorous to you?" Dream asked, but there was no heat in it, he was too busy looking after where Hob had disappeared.

"You should have seen it," she said. "He launched himself over the counter to catch you. Oh my god, I wish you could have witnessed it."

"Surely Hob would aid any customer in distress," Dream sniffed. But something turned over in his stomach, a little flutter of hope.

"Yeah but not literally vault the counter. It was terrific. I was worried he'd break a hip."

"I'm not that old," said Hob, coming back around the corner and crouching beside Dream again, water bottle and what looked like a chocolate muffin clasped in his hands.

Rachel was unrepentant. "You're lucky you didn't wind up on the floor, too."

"You caught me," said Dream, staring into Hob's eyes. He had such pretty eyes. Rich brown, like coffee with a dash of cream.

Dream might still be a bit lightheaded.

"Of course," said Hob, and uncapped the water, handing it to him. Dream took slow sips, realizing as he did that he hadn't drank any water all day. "I'm fond of you, you know. Can't let you hit your head on the floor."

Fond. Dream might faint again.

"Should I take you to hospital or something?" Hob asked, still so concerned it was making that floaty feeling bubble up again in Dream's chest.

"I will be fine here," he said.

"He just fell for you, that's all," said Rachel, and Dream glared at her. She just smiled back. "Swooned and everything."

"I did not swoon," Dream protested.

"You kind of did, actually," said Hob. "I've never seen someone just crumple so dramatically."

"Oh, have you seen many people faint, then?"

"No, but--"

"I'm going to man the till," said Rachel, patting Dream on the arm. "I don't think I want to be in the middle of this. Let me know if you want me to take you home, Dream." She winked at him. "Unless you'd rather Hob do it."

Johanna was never this meddlesome, Dream thought bitterly. She just made fun of him and left it at that.

Then he was alone with Hob, which was both an exciting and anxiety-inducing state of affairs. He clutched his water bottle for balance.

"Um. I got you this," said Hob, and handed him the muffin. "Made them this morning."

Dream was really quite hungry, so despite Hob's poor coffee record, he took a bite of the muffin.

And this was how he learned that Hob was utterly lacking in coffee-making skills because all his talent was in baking.

The chocolate was so rich, it tasted more like cake than a muffin. the chocolate chips melted on his tongue, and he had to force himself not to just immediately take another huge bite. He really was so hungry. Perhaps, now that he knew he could get such things here, he would have a reason to visit the cafe other than just Hob -- and a reason to eat breakfast, too.

"Good?" said Hob, and Dream nodded, licking the melted chocolate from his lips, and he didn't fail to notice Hob watching the movement of his tongue. Perhaps Johanna and Rachel were right, and it wasn't hopeless, even if Dream's best attempt at flirting back was collapsing onto the floor.

He did not know what possessed him then. Perhaps it was the chocolate. Perhaps it was the worry still lingering in Hob's warm eyes, or maybe he had just hit his head and forgotten about it. Either way, he leaned forward in his seat, and kissed Hob on the lips.

His lips were so soft. Just as Dream had dreamt they would be. Hob made a sound of surprise against Dream's mouth, and caught him by the arms so he wouldn't fall out of his chair. Which was a definite possibility, though now the lightheadedness was not caused by a calorie deficit but rather because he was kissing Hob.

Hob who was kissing him back, too. Softening against his mouth, licking the remaining chocolate from Dream's lips. Would Hob hug him, too? If he had already caught him? Dream had fantasized so much about being hugged by Hob.

Only one way to find out. He leaned into Hob's arms, and Hob caught him again, wrapping his arms around Dream's back. He was so warm, and strong. He was wonderful.

"It is a good thing," he said into Hob's shoulder.

"What is?"

"You noticing me."

Hob chuckled. The sound rumbled through Dream's chest. "It's not hard to do. I've been eyeing you for a while, you know. I always hoped you'd talk to me more."

"I am not very good at talking more," said Dream.

"I think I've got that now." Hob pulled back to look at him, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiled. "Falling over is more your style."

"I only faint on occasion," Dream protested, which only seemed to amuse Hob more.

"Well. If talking is a bit tough, maybe we can go for a walk sometime?" He tucked a strand of Dream's hair behind his ear, and Dream shivered. Hob clocked it, too, and let his hand rest on the back of Dream's head, fingers curled in his hair as his gaze flicked to Dream's lips and back up. "Or. Something else?"

Dream thought something else might make him spontaneously combust. That might have to wait a bit, at least until he could cope with Hob looking at him like that without feeling like he was about to explode in a flurry of butterflies.

"A walk, if you will hold my hand," he said, and Hob smiled, and took his hand, and Dream learned that all dreams really could come true at once.

#this is SO silly #hob is literally the most average guy and dream is salivating with lust and completely ferally obsessed with him #it's mutual tho dream is literally a gremlin and hob is like 😍 wow he's beautiful he's like an angel #and then they lived happily ever after #dreamling #dream of the endless #hob gadling #my writing #sex scene between these two would be funny as fuck i think hob would touch dream once and he would come instantly and maybe also faint

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five-and-dimes · 1 year

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Thinking about human Dream as a bartender.

He’s quiet, stoic, which strangely adds character to the dramatics of his flair bartending. Each week he comes up with new cocktails- beautiful, colorful creations, each one unique but always delicious. He barely talks but will listen intently to any and every patron’s stories, soaking them up, the happy or sad or ridiculous drunken ramblings.

Hob becomes a regular, always sitting right in front of the well so he can have a front row seat to every flipped bottle and color changing spirit. He tells the bartender all his best stories, considering it a victory any time he manages to get even the smallest reaction- a quirked eyebrow or a twitch of the lips. It takes ages for him to even learn Dream’s name (Dream listens, he doesn’t share) but he comes to think of him as a friend, even if he’s still working up the courage to ask if they could see each other when Dream’s not working (he knows better than to ask someone on a date while they’re on the clock, he’s not an animal).

(He doesn’t know it, but Dream has started trying to make drinks specifically for this particular regular, hoping to impress him, to make him smile. And if he indulges in the thought of knowing exactly what Hob’s mouth would taste like. Well. He makes drinks for himself, too.)

And Hob tells Dream all sorts of things about his life, but not everything, which makes it incredibly embarrassing when Johanna follows him to the bar one night and very loudly announces “Why the hell do you come here when you own a damn pub?”

Dream snaps to stare at him, and none of Hob’s stories have gotten anywhere near a reaction like that, and his eyebrows are practically in his hairline, and Hob’s face is on fire, and he wants to strangle Johanna and then walk directly into the ocean.

But before he can, Dream smirks, tilting his head toward Johanna but keeping his eyes locked on Hob.

“I’m just that good.”

Hob knows he’s staring, but Dream’s never looked at him like that before and maybe he’s not as crazy as he thought, and Johanna is making fake gagging noises, and then Dream is placing a drink in front of him.

Pulling himself together, Hob smiles and takes a sip, “So what’s this one called?”

Dream doesn’t miss a beat, “It’s called ‘Fuck Me Tonight’.”

Hob chokes on the drink.

#the sandman #dreamling #I'm a bartender why the hell have I never written a bartending au?#goddamn it I might have to make this a full fic #the wip list grows -_-

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phefics · 4 months

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This just came to my mind while I was studying for my psychology exam - but what do you think THG would be like if they were dating a reader who is a theatre performer? Like them picking the reader up from rehearsals that ran overtime, watching their performances and listening to them talk about their crazy (and sometimes kinda weird) rehearsal memories?

I hope this makes sense because I am not too great with explaining things

this is so cute, not weird at all!! you didn't specify the guys so i'm gonna do all the characters i write for. hope you like!! xo

coryo is supportive, mostly because he likes the idea of dating someone who could be famous one day. he brags about your talents to people at school/work, and comes to every show, sits in the front row, and brings you roses. he admires your dedication, even when it means staying late to run scenes or crazy rehearsal stories.

finnick loves to watch you perform. he's been caught trying to sneak into your rehearsals before, and given you a sheepish grin as he's escorted out of the theater. he's just so captivated by you. as someone who has spent a lot of his life performing against his will, he loves to watch you flourish doing something you love. he loves hearing about cast drama, like straight up will make popcorn to listen to the gossip.

gale isn't super into theater but will be supportive! he likes that you have a hobby you're so passionate about, even if he doesn't understand. he tries to make every show when he isn't busy with work, and has terrible theater ettiquette the first time and keeps cheering every time you're on stage, so you have to explain that he can't do that, lol. he also picks you up from rehearsals because he won't let you walk home late at night, ever.

haymitch isn't very into the arts, in general - he's just never had an urge to consume it or have a hobby of his own. but seeing you feel so passionate about it and have so much fun opens him up to the idea a lot, and i can see him definitely going to your shows and finding the beauty in live theater.

johanna would be a stage crew girly, so i think she would participate in your theatre stuff (if it was local/small, i don't think she would pursue it as a career) and she does the lights or sound. definitely ignores directions so she can put the spotlight on you even when you aren't talking in a scene.

katniss is very supportive, but i don't see her being into theatre at all - she'll go to your shows but doesn't really vibe with it, so she's there to support you but wouldn't go if you weren't involved. if you are in a musical production, though, she will get the songs stuck in her head and whistle/sing them around the house.

lucy gray is probably also involved in theatre!! or, she at least totally understands your passion as well as your workload. if you do musical theatre, she helps you practice your songs and learns them on guitar so she can play them for you. she is always cheering so loud in the audience - she is so supportive and loving.

peeta would probably get involved in your production behind the scenes, painting sets. he is so supportive and i could even see him joining the show if you convinced him he'd be good - he's clearly a very charming actor and would probably find it fun. if he doesn't join you, though, he is in the front row of every single performance with flowers.

sejanus is the most supportive boyfriend ever, i swear. he will singlehandeldly fund your local theatre just so you can participate. he takes time off of work to go to every single show, and has flowers sent to you backstage. he helps you rehearse at home, always being a bit goofy and over-the-top when he reads the lines.

tigris would probably be involved as well, designing and altering costumes!! she loves to design and sew and having that outlet that benefits the community as well as her partner would make her really happy.

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pernillecfcw · 23 days

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Two of our swedes 😍🇸🇪

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beingsuneone · 5 months

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Sunset & Vine

PART ONE | PART TWO

SYNOPSIS: one year was all you had, and the winners of the previous hunger games. You didn’t know them that well, but they were still youre only friends. Now you’re thrown back into the Games with some new confusing feelings.

FANDOM: The Hunger Games

PAIRING(S): Peeta Mallark x Victor!Reader

RATING: G

CHARACTERS MENTIONED: Peeta Mellark, Katniss Everdeen, Haymitch Abernathy, Coriolanus Snow, Johanna Mason, Finnick Odair, Effie Trinket, President Coin, Gale Hawthorne

GENRE/AU: Dystopia, Angst, a very small amount of comfort,

WORD COUNT: 5.2k

WARNINGS: Katniss is slightly OOC, Canon divergent in some ways but not others, CATCHING FIRE AND MOCKINGJAY SPOILERS, Reader won the 74th hunger games and Peeta and Katniss won the 73rd.

A/N: Jjj, I’ve really got to stop writing stories with ending like this. Lemme know if you want part two. FYI!!! Changed a few words that completely changed the context and set up for the next part.

DEDICATIONS: Peeta my beloved

CREDITS: Taylor Swift for the name (Gorgeous - Taylor Swift)

It’s a woman, standing with her back to you— she has similar hair to yours and an almost protective stance to her. A haze of colour surrounds her… oranges, purples and yellows swirled into an indescribable but beautiful mess.

Peeta Mellark may be a fellow victor, and he may be one of your neighbours, but you know nothing about him. Except for this beautiful painting that he gifted you.

She wears a dress that flows in some sort of assumed breeze, and has a hand tentatively braced in her hair; there’s something so familiar about this scene that you can’t place— something familiar about the woman in particular.

You can’t place it.

You run your fingers along the small note that Peeta had left with the painting, hovering over the loopy cursive of his signature; it’s the same on the painting but it’s too beautiful to touch like that.

Last year, you won the seventy-fourth annual hunger games, and became a legend for getting district twelve two wins in a row— right alongside Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark, Who won the seventy-third hunger games.

Thank god the months of parading you around were over and you could settle happily into your gigantic house by yourself.

Well, happily might be an over statement— you had no family, and certainly no friends… unless Haymitch counts but you don’t think he does.

So this painting feels extra special— a warmth in an otherwise cold and unfamiliar home.

“Where should I put it?” Muttering to yourself, you mentally scan the layout of your house; you’d want it to be in a place where you could see it often, but also somewhere where any house guest would be able to see it… yeah. House guests.

After shaking your head uselessly, you settle on hanging it in the entryway. For sure people would see it there.

You’d been putting off doing this for a couple of days, just because you hadn’t had a whole lot of energy to do anything but sit in a chair and half-read a novel.

So, after a few minutes of fiddling and messy calculations, the painting is hung in the entryway.

You take one last glance at the swirling coloured background once more, and then turn away, leaving the comfort and fantasy behind.

……

Victors are supposed to have immunity, they’re supposed to be done with the games for the rest of their miserable, trauma ridden lives.

But the seventy-fifth hunger games brings back all of the worst parts of last year— you know that out of the three other victors, you’re the female they want to get picked. You’re the easy decision, the loner that nobody cares about.

You know the Capitol loves Peeta and Katniss far too much, and you, not enough.

This, stacked on top of everything else the Capitol has put you through… it’s too much.

You’re pulled from your thoughts when there’s a knock at your door.

“Hello?” You say as you open it; Peeta Mellark is standing there with his lip turned down just slightly, his eyes center behind you for a moment before his face softens and lightens.

“Hey. You got the painting.” A smile melts onto his face, and you swear he looks… beyond words when he smiles.

After a long moment of silence, you clear your throat. “What brings you here…?” You stammer awkwardly, cringing at your choice of words.

He sort of— laughs? Chuckles? at you. “We’re talking strategy for the Quarter Quell and we figured we should include you.” His face falls again, and he looks like he’s holding something back.

Your back straightens. “The Quarter Quell isn’t for another few months—”

He nods slowly. “But we’re going to have to do the pre-tour… and they’re pulling names in just a couple weeks.”

The band around his ring finger gleams brightly in the sun, which sends some sort of jealous feeling rolling through you.

You shake your head because you don’t know Peeta Mellark, and, even if he is gorgeous, you don’t get crushes on people you don’t know.

Plus he’s in love and engaged to Katniss Everdeen, even if you did know him well enough to develop a crush.

He glances down, and then quickly yanks the ring off. “It’s, uh— just for the camera’s.” Then he gestures to the painting behind you. “That’s you, you know. I know you’ve never worn a dress like that, but I saw a screencap of you in The Games and inspiration just kind of… hit me.” he trails off at the end and fiddles with the ring in his hand.

“It’s… me?” You say slowly. “We barely know each other, why would you paint me?”

He takes a small breath. “You’re really beautiful, Y/n, I’ve always thought so.”

A breath hitches but you genuinely can’t discern if it’s him or you over the roaring of blood in your ears.

“So…” he starts again. “If you want to join us, we’re heading over to Haymitch’s now.”

“Okay.” You say, sounding more winded than you did before; you stare at him for a few more moments before you step out of the front door and shut it.

You walk silently beside him, trying not to take in his messy blonde hair or pretty blue eyes—and also, failing miserably—

Just as you reach Haymitch’s doorstep, you stop and tug on Peeta’s sleeve to get his attention. “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, Peeta.”

He looks down at you, the air around you charged with some kind of something that you can’t name, and just as he’s about to reach over to you, the door swings open.

“Why are you guys just standing out here?” Katniss says with her nose scrunched, she eyes you up and then eyes Peeta up in a similar fashion.

At least it wasn’t exclusively you.

Both your heads snap toward her, while Peeta smoothly comes up with a reason. “Y/n was feeling nervous, I was just trying to help calm her nerves.”

Haymitch raises an eyebrow from behind Katniss, and gives Peeta a look.

“Hey, Sweetheart.” He says, as Katniss steps aside and lets the two of you in. There’s a tenderness to his voice that you hadn’t realized you missed so much.

“Hi.” The three of you shuffle into what you think was once a living room but it’s chillingly messy in Haymitch’s house.

“Couldn’t we have done this at someone else’s house?” Peeta says, eying the empty bottles on the floor.

“No.” Katniss shakes her head, shooting Haymitch a glare. “Because everytime we have to talk to him, we have to wake him up with a bucket of water.”

You snort. “I’m sorry— a bucket of water?”

Haymitch cuts in. “Why do you think my hair’s wet? I definitely didn’t take a shower.” There's a water stain that makes his shirt sag, and you wonder how you didn’t notice before. Haymitch clears his throat. “Moving on; if it’s Katniss and Peeta then we can still milk the whole star-crossed lover thing— if it’s me or Y/n… that won’t work.”

“Y/n shouldn’t go.” Peeta interjects; you’re taken aback by it.

You fidget with the hem of your shirt. “I really thought I was the best person to go.” You pause, looking up at the three of them. “It’s not like there’s anyone here that will care if I don’t come home.”

Haymitch gives Peeta a scrutinizing look. “Look, Lover-boy, we know you have a crush but that isn’t enough for Katniss to volunteer herself if Y/n gets picked.”

Peeta looks to you and then back to Haymitch. “Katniss and I are the Capitol’s favourite couple right now, if we went we’d probably be much better off in terms of sponsors and parachutes.”

“And you don’t want her to go.” Haymitch gestures in yours and Katniss’s direction.

Peeta sighs but doesn’t deny it. It makes sense that he wouldn’t want his fiancé to go back to the Games.

“Peeta is right,” Katniss starts, “but, Haymitch, if you get picked… Peeta should stay. Either way.”

Peeta shakes his head. “No. I’m not staying.”

You cut in. “There’s no good reason why I should stay.” You’re basically the only clear answer; if you get picked you’ll go, and, if Katniss is picked, you’ll go. “I won’t.”

Now all three of them are staring at you. “If I get picked, Katniss can’t volunteer and if she gets picked, you can’t stop me from volunteering.”

Katniss huffs. “You can’t stop me from volunteering either.”

Really, you could all argue this for hours.

…..

The four of you had never come to a conclusion, and now it’s the day of the Reaping.

Effie stands uncomfortably at the bowl; she doesn’t seem happy about having to pull your names, despite her chipper facade.

“The female tribute for District Twelve is…” she says, digging around in the two slips of paper in the bowl. She finally pulls one out and reluctantly reads it out. “Y/n L/n.” She almost sighs your name.

Katniss’s fingers twitch nervously, like she wants to say something but you shoot her the strongest glare you can muster.

She doesn’t volunteer, and you’re glad for it.

You walk up to the stage, head held high; you know this is the start of the end of your life, so you might as well act more confident than you truly are.

Effie looks at you sadly once you’re settled behind her, and then turns back to the audience. “And… the male tribute for District Twelve is,” she spends another five minutes routing through the two names. “Haymitch Abernathy.” This time her sigh is one of relief.

But the relief does not last long.

“I volunteer!” Peeta says, stepping forward; Haymitch grabs his arm and says something too quiet to hear, and Peeta says something back. His face is full of determination as everyone watches him walk up the stage and stand next to you.

Everyone in your little group wears a look of defeat. Even you.

Only one of you can go home, and you’re going to do your damn best to make sure it’s Peeta Mellark.

…..

“I’m not ready for this.” You say quietly, as you walk down the corridor to your bedrooms on the train. “It’s hardly been a year, Peeta.”

He nods solemnly, not looking at you as you arrive at your door. His is just across the hall.

Peeta gently takes your hand in his and squeezes. “I know. It’s too soon.” He looks angry. “We were never supposed to have to do this again.” He drops your hand before you can reciprocate in any sort of way.

You do feel a little less nauseous though.

“It‘s okay.” You whisper, twitching your fingers and slapping it onto the doorknob. “It’ll be okay.”

Peeta’s eyes rove over you in a scrutinizing manner as though he’s trying to figure some meaning behind your words, but there isn’t one to figure.

Just that it will be okay. Peeta will, if you really just be specific. Peeta will return home, happy and safe.

Ready to live his life with the woman he loves… Katniss.

And you will fade into false glory and distant memory.

…..

“Finnick, Right?” You fidget with your fingers in front of you; Finnick Odair was an attractive man who oozed with confidence and smooth words.

“Want a sugar cube?” He asks slyly, holding one out to you. “They're supposed to be for the horses but— we’re going to die anyway, it won’t matter after that.”

You nod carefully. “Of course, because that would obviously matter if we weren’t already set for death.” You still take the sugar cube from his hand and pop it in your mouth.

You almost gag from it. Pure sugar was… a lot. “Ugh. That’s disgusting.”

Finnick chuckles. “But liberating.”

You shake your head but a smile still spreads across your face. “Liberating indeed, Finnick Odair. My last act of rebellion is eating a sugar cube.”

“Devastating, really. To the Capitol, I mean.” He smiles easily at you, before someone catches his attention and he saunters off.

Claudius Templesmith stood not far from you, crooning about something with one of the older tributes.

The older man— Betee, you think— stood, looking indifferent but also invested in Claudius’s ramblings and unnecessary questions.

You were dreading the questions he’d ask you during your second round of interviews.

The last time was time enough for you.

“What’d he want?” Peeta asks, walking up behind you and pulling your attention away from the other party-goers.

“Oh, you know,” you say flippantly, “sugarcubes, secrets, and sarcasm.”

Peeta’s eyebrows furrow in confusion but the smile remains on his face. “Sounds like an interesting conversation.” He extends his arm to you. “Shall we?”

You sigh. “Not like we have much choice.”

….

“I’d give anything to know what’s going on inside your head.” Peeta says softly, fidgeting with the rope in his hands. You’d both decided that learning how to tie some knots would be beneficial.

You chuff, an awkward laugh. “What do you mean?”

His fingers work steadily, and somewhat clumsily, with the rope; there’s something alluring about how sure he can be with his hands.

It makes you think of the painting in your house— the one that you’ll never see again— how patient he must’ve been to complete such a beautiful piece, how still and sure of himself.

“What are you thinking right now, Y/n?” He looks up at you, with those beautiful blue eyes of his.

You shrug. “I was thinking about…” you trail off, because you absolutely cannot say that you were thinking about his hands. A half-truth will have to do. “Your painting. How I’ll never see it again.”

Hip lips pull into a frown. “You’ll see it again, I’m going to make sure of it.”

Sighing deeply, you stand. “You’re the one who has to go home, Peeta, not me.” He opens his mouth to speak but you cut him off. “It has to be you.”

….

You don’t have the time to argue about it for the next couple of days, you hardly even see each other.

Now, Cinna is preparing you for the arena. You know that everything he gave was meant for Katniss, he had obviously expected it to be her, or that he wouldn’t style you.

He hadn’t been your stylist, but yours had opted out of this year’s games, claiming it was too painful to watch you go back in.

You hadn’t liked her much the first time around, wanted to change you too much in ways that you most definitely did not like.

Cinna, though, you liked him. Though this would be the last time you saw him.

You were dressed in whatever mandatory suit that they designed for this game, a skin tight suit that looked like you were about to go scuba diving.

“It’s time.” Cinna says, glancing back to the tube at the back of the room. You turn back to it.

“Thank you, Cinna.” You say, bowing your head for him. “It was nice getting to know you.”

He smiles half-heartedly. “It was a pleasure, Y/n.”

You exchange a final goodbye and step into the tube. The sixth second countdown begins as the tube starts to ascend.

It's all water, just water and water and water in a large circle around them. There was also thin sand bars that connected the tubes and the Cornucopia, but you knew you wouldn’t be braving that.

Peeta stands three tubes down, with a morphling, a Career and Johanna between you two.

Twenty seconds.

You stare at him desperately, hoping he’ll stick to the plan and swim towards you; you catch his eyes and he smiles reassuringly. It’s not a genuine smile but it still calms you all the same.

Ten seconds.

You ball your fists, clenching hard.

Nine.

Eight.

God, it’s going to be difficult to get out of the water.

Seven.

Six.

You’re not the strongest swimmer, maybe you should go to the Cornucopia.

Five.

Four.

And it’s a long way to swim, even for someone who does know how. Only experienced swimmers, like Finnick, would have an easy time of it.

Three.

Two.

Then, it occurs to you, maybe those sandbars go all the way to the shore; if you get to the Cornucopia, Grab, well, anything, and then flee via the sandbars, you just might be okay.

One.

The pads everyone stands on recede into the water and dumps everyone straight in.

It makes you realize that most of your competitors do not know how to swim.

Peeta is just barely floating thanks to the bright purple belt that had been strapped around all your waists.

You know how to swim at least a little bit , so you unbuckle yours and swim over to him; once it inflates fully, you give it to him and try to drag him towards the sandbars.

It dawns on you all over again that Peeta is a tall guy, and he’s not exactly small either.

He’s strong and his weight definitely shows that; he tries to keep himself afloat but ends up making it worse.

Eventually, you make it over there, and he pulls himself up onto the loose sand; it takes a bit of effort because it’s slippery and keeps moving under your weight.

It’s barely stable enough to be a viable option. Just barely.

You leave him there for a minute and swim to the cornucopia. There's fighting going on on its small platform, but you just snag a small waterproof bag that sits a few yards away; a knife comes flying in your direction, and knicks your face.

The salt of the water stings as it mingles with blood.

When you spin back towards Peeta, he’s struggling and Finnick is approaching him.

You race back as fast as you can.

Finnick already has some pretty gnarly weapons strapped to him.

You’re about to draw the knife on him when shakes his head. “Relax, Y/n, I’m saving his ass.” Then he lifts a hand out of the water and flashes some sort of bracelet at you.

It’s the alliance bracelets that Haymitch had mentioned.

Oh.

“I-”you start, but you never really had a sentence to begin with.

You just lag silently behind as Finnick helps Peeta to the shore. The closer you get to the shore, the wider the sandbars get, and the sturdier they are as well.

Until they're eventually higher than the water, and wide enough for both Peeta and yourself to walk side by side.

You collapse onto the sand when you finally reach the shore and stay there for only a second.

That’s all you have before the three of you are up and running into the forest in front of you.

….

When Peeta’s heart stops, you're sure that yours does too— you’re sure that, as you stand there in a state while Finnick tries to resuscitate Peeta, you’re also unresponsive and silent. Dead.

True enough, in a way.

The longer you stare at Peeta’s face, still twisted in pain from the shock, the more you feel like dropping to the ground and sobbing.

You tried to imagine the way he painted with camouflage training stuff, drawing intricate designs onto both his and one of the morhpling’s arms.

It had washed off by the next morning but you had spent the whole night longing to touch it, run your fingers along his arm, trace the shapes and swirls.

Beyond the paintings, you recalled his magnetic smile and the way he always made you feel safe and calm, the steady air that he radiated.

You weren’t ready for him to die, he was the one who was supposed to win this, after all. You had resolved that Peeta Mellark was going to be the winner of the 75th Hunger Games and you were going to do whatever you needed to to make that happen. You were even prepared to turn into somebody you weren’t, just to make sure Peeta went home. Or at least, you thought you could if you had to come to it.

But now, you’re ready to give up. Finnick or Johanna could win— and they should. Literally anyone else but you. Everyone who had a life now that Peeta is gone.

You’re just about to collapse to the ground when Peeta starts to cough erratically, and he manages to sit straight up.

“Peeta!” You cry as you fall to the ground next to him, and wrap your arms around his neck. He seems disoriented for a moment before he hugs you back, right. “I really thought you were gone.”

He gently strokes your back, as you fuss over him, double checking that he’s okay and checking his burn.

…..

You hear a loud sickening crack from somewhere else in the arena that makes everyone but Johanna and Finnick jump. You feel Peeta’s hand wrap around you protectively and pull you closer to him in the single instant that you’re all reacting to the noise.

It takes a few delayed seconds before each one of you realizes that it’s just the lightning in 12, before you realize just how having Peeta’s hands on you makes you feel.

His fingers slip from your waist, brushing softly as they fall away and leaving you feeling just slightly feral.

You pull yourself away, and dig your nails into your thigh to ground yourself. Getting used to this clock thing was going to be agonizing.

You’re waiting patiently as the lot of you— You, Peeta, Finnick, Johanna and Beetee— come up with a plan to take down the force field and take out the Careers at the same time.

You can barely focus on the conversation because you itch to have Peeta’s hands on you again, to feel his fingers against your skin again.

In fact there’s so many things you’d like to say and do with Peeta that you know you will never have the chance to; not to mention that he is in love with someone else and would never be interested in any of those things with you anyways.

You’re pretty sure you’d been staring at Peeta but you only notice because Finnick shoots a look at you— you can’t tell exactly what he’s thinking but it must be something about that.

You try to zone back into the plan.

….

Trying to trap the careers failed miserably, and the person most experienced with a bow was you, but only thanks to Katniss’s training.

Everything was a blur as the force field came down; chaos, fire everywhere— you couldn’t see or hear Peeta.

You worried about him and you laid pathetically on the ground, half out of your mind. You wondered if he was having trouble with his prosthetic leg, or having run from Enobaria or one of the other careers. You wondered if he’d make it out okay, even though it was obvious you wouldn’t.

You wondered and worried for what felt like forever until an airship appeared above you.

Great. You thought, the Capitol has come to torture you and everyone you’ve ever loved until the couldnt anymore and all of you was nothing more than a shell of a person. Until the only option was avox or death.

You can’t move, or fight it as the giant claw, scoops you up.

All that effort and you still managed to condem each and everyone of you to torture.

…..

“Relax, Y/n!” Haymitch snaps, as Finnick restrains you.

Katniss sits on the other side of the table, looking just as devastated as you.

“What do you mean, you didn’t get Peeta? You can’t just leave him there, they’ll hurt him worse than any of us could ever imagine!” You say, still struggling to get away from Finnick.

Katniss actually argues in your favour. “I did say I would only do this thing if you got both her and Peeta.”

Plutarch, the game maker shakes his head redundantly. “Peeta and Johanna were just to far away for us to locate before the Capitols airships came; I’m sorry, we’ll get them back eventually.”

Finnick finally lets you go once you’ve calmed down. He has a solemn look on his face. “I’m sure they’ve got Annie too. We need to save them as soon as possible.”

….

As soon as possible turns into several weeks, several heartbreakingly, agonizingly long weeks.

You can’t help but think about Peeta every moment of every day . You imagine all the terrible things Snow is doing to him, you wish it was you in his place.

Peeta was the one person who never deserved any of this, over anyone else. You and Katniss had been willing to do whatever you needed to to survive, you’d done things maybe you weren’t particularly proud of. But Peeta? He had never let the Games change him.

He had always been the same.

Safe, steady, comfortable, strong.

You don’t even have any hope that they’re showing him any mercy.

They aren’t.

You know now, you know by the way that last interview they aired went— how he was struck just as the cameras shut off, how your heart broke when you looked into his eyes, when you saw just how much they’d hurt him already.

You were just about ready to burst into Coin’s office and tell her that you were getting Peeta now, regardless of the consequences to Thirteen.

Gale and Katniss were fighting a lot lately, tension was heavy between them; and not in a good way. You didn’t know Gale well, but the comments he made about Peeta made your skin crawl and your hands itch to throw a few punches.

Actually they were arguing now, about Peeta, and you were listening.

Gale’s head snaps to you randomly and he barks at you; “and you! Why the hell are you so invested in Bread Boy?”

You startle for a moment, but then narrow your eyes. “What do you mean why am I invested? He’s my— friend.” You say, sounding unsure even to yourself.

Katniss huffs. “I mean, come on, Gale, you know that our relationship has been fake from the start and we—” she gestures between the two of them. “—we’re friends, Gale, we always have been.”

He scoffs, and says something else in a bitter tone but all you can hear is Katniss’s words replaying over and over in your brain.

Our relationship has been fake from the start.

“Shut up for a second!” You snap at Gale, and turn back to Katniss. “Your relationship was fake the whole time? Yours and Peeta’?” You almost feel like an asshole for asking, just in case it is real; but so many things Peeta has done and said make so much more sense recontextualized like this.

Like when he said their rings were ‘just for ten cameras.’ Or when he told you he always thought you were beautiful. Or even the way he tried so hard to convince not to go back into the games.

Both of their faces fall flat, Katniss’s in disbelief. “You didn’t know?” She says.

You shake your head slowly. “No, I-” you stop yourself because you're at a loss for words.

“Y/n, we didn’t try to hide it from you, how did you not know? Even Haymitch said right in front of you that Peeta had a crush on you!”

You deadpan once again. You had blatantly misread everybody’s words in that conversation. “I just assumed that was about you!” You stare at each other for a second longer before you stand up abruptly. “I have to go.”

There was a lot of thinking you had to do and then a lot of planning— and a bit of yelling too.

…..

You were deemed too invested in the mission to actually go on it, and Finnick was too distressed over Annie to be allowed.

So you had been sitting together in silence; the silence was comfortable but the insane amounts of stress running through your veins was enough to make the tension in the air as sharp as a knife. Not between each other but to any other person.

Especially since Gale was allowed to go on the mission, and you felt that was entirely unfair— Gale doesn’t even like Peeta.

It had turned into a whole day of waiting, and only twenty minutes ago, they had returned with Johanna, Peeta and Annie.

The anxiety had grown tenfold when you were both informed you weren’t allowed to see them yet.

Now, you’re standing outside the door where Annie was resting, watching her through the one way window.

Finnick’s eyes are filled with so many you can only pick out one or two; you wonder if your eyes will look similar when you enter Peeta’s room.

You wish him luck and watch as he enters the room; Annie looks like she screams his name and then jumps him. He holds her up, looking like it’s the happiest moment of his life.

Watching them makes you much more excited to see Peeta, although you're not sure it will be quite that exuberant of a reunion.

You walk a couple doors down, glancing in the windows as you do; but you stop when you see Katniss and Johanna in one of the rooms before Peeta’s.

Why in the world is Katniss in the Hospital? What happened?

You push open the door gently, and Katniss doesn’t stir— you take note of the morphling drip in her arm, that must be keeping her knocked out.

You see Johanna is also asleep, her head is shaved and she has the worst tortured expression on, even though she looks to be sleeping soundfully— physically, anyways.

If she’s looking that bad, you can’t help but wonder about Peeta. You’re always wondering about him.

You don’t want to disturb either of their healing so you quickly leave the room, shutting the door as quietly and calmly as you can.

Finally, as you walk out, you spot the guards in front of Peeta’s door; you think it’s a little strange, considering neither Johanna nor Annie had security at the door but you walk towards the door anyways.

The guards hold out a hand as you approach.

“Restricted access, you can’t go in there.” The guard says, almost heartlessly.

Just as he finishes speaking, the door opens and Haymitch steps out and away. You would look through the window but the blinds are down.

“I’m sorry, Sweetheart, you can’t see him.” Haymitch takes your arm and leads you back down the hallway. “The Capitol… they tortured him so bad he—” Haymitch stops, and looks away for a second before looking back. “He tried to strangle Katniss, and kept yelling about how Katniss was a liar. He’s not himself right now.”

So much for your heartfelt reunion.

All content belongs to @beingsuneone , do not repost, copy or post on other platforms without my permission.

#peeta mellark #the hunger games peeta #thg peeta #peeta x reader #peeta #peeta mellark x reader #peeta mellark x you #thg x reader #the hunger games x reader #the hunger games #catching fire #mockingjay #spoilers #mockingjay spoilers #catching fire spoilers #thg spoilers #the hunger games spoilers

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on-my-vigilante-sht · 1 year

Text

Capitol Punishment XI

Haymitch x Reader

Summary: The Capitol continues to torture it’s victors no matter how long ago they won through punishment, exploitation, and worst of all; their relationships.

A story in which Haymitch’s lover is a plaything for the Capitol.

Warnings: Canon level violence, rape, alcohol, murder, systemic poverty, exploitation, rebellion (?), more reliance on movie than book, suicidal thoughts, swearing, illness, pregnancy, miscarriage, torture, sexual torture

Word Count: 3.7K

Part X | Masterlist | Part XII

As angry as Haymitch was a Plutarch, the head game maker had smuggled in a bottle of whisky onto the plane. Haymitch half wondered if the whisky was to celebrate or to satiate him if things went wrong but he angrily took it nonetheless. He sat alone in a secluded part of the hovercraft, drinking heavily as he lamented the fact that you had been left behind. He was also angry with himself for taking the booze but he wanted to be numb for a second.

You woke up in what looked like a hospital, a bright light beaming into your eyes, unescapable. After a second you regained feeling, realizing you were strapped down in so many places so tightly you couldn’t move. Along with that you could vaguely see doctors flitting around just like after your first games. Except this time you could feel your legs in stirrups, a doctor in between your legs. You began to scream and thrash as much as you could but it was no use.

“Mrs. Abernathy,” several doctors tried to get your attention, “you’re having a miscarriage we need to get the decaying matter out.”

But you didn’t listen, tears streaming down your face as you remembered that you lost your husband’s baby.

When the doctors were done your legs were let down and strapped to the gurney. They wheeled you through the rest of the hospital like building, various Capitol symbols confirming where you were, until you reached a row of glass cells. Inside two of them you could see Peeta and Johanna. As you were wheeled into yours, you could see that your next-door neighbor would be Annie. She was curled up onto her bed, hugging her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth, muttering something. But you were quickly pushed into your own cell, right across from Peeta. There they strapped a chain to your ankle before finally releasing the restraints. You, of course, immediately jumped off the gurney, going straight for one of the nurses but the chain connected to the bed held fast, causing you to fall. Before you knew it an armed guard was upon you. He grabbed you by the throat, yanking you up until your back was nearly bent over the steel bed.

“You’re gonna fucking behave or else you and everyone you care about are gonna get it,” he seethed, his spit splashing against your face. “That miscarriage you had? We’ll make it happen again. We won’t even clean it up. We’ll just let you die of sepsis. Do you want that?” he yelled the last part. Tears were beginning to well in your eyes as you shook your head no. “Good,” he sneered pulling his hand from your neck. You sucked in a large breath of air just as he put what looked like a choker necklace at the base of your throat. Before you could ask what it was a shock was delivered causing you to jump a little. “That’s what’ll happen if you say or do anything you’re not supposed to. And it gets a lot stronger than that. Got it?” You nodded once again. “Good,” he punctuated his word with a slap to the face.

Once he and the nurse left you crawled up onto the bed, nowhere else to go. You sat up, finding Peeta watching you. He looked like he had dealt with something similar to you. Neither of you had anything to say to the other or anyone for that matter. You doubted you’d be able to hear the other anyways.

You had no clue how long it had been when several stylists came into your cell. You didn’t recognize any of them except for Vodka, your stylist from 8 years ago. A lot had changed about her as was typical in the Capitol but the thing you noticed the most was her smile. Before it had been genuine. Ignorant and ditzy but genuine nonetheless. Now it was sinister. Her place was now to torture you explicitly and maliciously, rather than under the guise of helping you all those years ago. “Y/N, I’m glad to see you,” she smiled. “I’m guessing you aren’t seeing as you took the opportunity to bash me on national television during your interview.” You didn’t say anything, choosing to just glare up at her. She pursed her lips, not liking that. Pulling out a small remote control she pressed a button, delivering a shock. “That’s what’ll happen when you’re being difficult,” she giggled as the stylists all descended upon you. Through the mess of makeup, wigs, and eccentric outfits you could see Peeta getting a similar treatment.

Once they were done you were left in a metal halter top that constricted your throat while still managing to barely contain your chest. You also wore a long skirt with slits going up both legs so it was barely a skirt. You were exactly what Snow wanted you to be. Desirable and available.

You were then led out of your cell with cuffs on your wrist as Vodka explained what was happening. “You’ll be interviewing with Caesar to make up for what happened in the games. I think you can figure out how to respond to questions in a way that you and those you love won’t be harmed but generally you’re saying that Haymitch and the rebels manipulated you. You never really loved him, he just took advantage of you. Talk about how you don’t support him or Katniss or the rebellion. Got it?”

The thought of actually saying those things broke your heart but you nodded in agreement. You were led to a plush looking chair, your wrists also being released. When you sat down they positioned you so your legs were crossed, making sure you looked exactly as Snow wanted you for the camera.

Haymitch rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time in this group therapy session. Once they had landed in District 13 Haymitch was a mess. He was angry and depressed and fueling those emotions was alcohol. District 13 didn’t have or allow any type of substance use so Haymitch was pretty much forced into rehab immediately with all the other alcoholics from 12 that had just arrived.

As someone else was begrudgingly relaying their feelings to the rest of the group the televisions suddenly turned on. Haymitch’s heart stopped as you appeared on the screen. He was relieved to see your relative state of health. You didn’t look tortured but your outfit said enough about what they were planning to do with you.

“Now, Y/N, I know you’re dealing with a lot right now but can you tell us what happened in those last few moments in the arena?” Caesar asked.

“I’m not completely sure. I was only told about the plan in small pieces. The rebels only told me what was relevant to me,” you answered.

“Yes, they tend to do that; lie in deceit,” Caesar commented. “Go on.”

“Well it was mine and Johanna’s job to get Katniss from the others so we could cut out her tracker while following through with Beetee’s plan to shut down the arena but Brutus and Enobaria from 2 caught up with us and I had to lead them away,” you explained, your expression hard and defiant.

“And I understand that’s when Brutus caused your miscarriage.”

You stiffened on screen. Haymitch stiffened as well, his heart crawling in his throat. His wife miscarried? Because he wasn’t there to protect her? He wanted to scream and cry and break things but more than anything he wanted to hear your voice, even if your words were filtered. “Yes,” you choked out. Your eyes glistened on screen. “I led him to the beach where he knocked me down. When I hit the ground I knew my baby wouldn’t make it.”

“Well I’m very sorry for your loss,” Caesar empathized, leaning across to place his hand over yours which was rested on your bare leg. “Who was the father?”

You visibly swallowed on camera, clearly hesitant. “Haymitch Abernathy.”

“Haymitch Abernathy,” Caesar repeated. “Your mentor and a man 15 years your senior, correct?”

You once again hesitated before choking out a “Yes.”

Caesar hummed. “And when did you two get together? Judging by your interactions in the arena it had been quite a while.”

“Right after my games,” you begrudgingly answered.

“Ah so this lonely, older man, who’s also a known alcoholic, swooped in when you were at your most vulnerable. Not only were you the first Victor from 12 since him but you happened to be beloved by the Capitol. Kind of convenient for him, isn’t it?”

Haymitch was internally begging for you not to agree with Caesar. He knew you were saying whatever you had to say to survive but he still didn’t want to hear you say it. A small part of him had been afraid of exactly what Caesar was saying. It was true he had basically swooped in at one of your most vulnerable moments. And because of each of your unique experiences he was basically your only option at the time. And because of that he was afraid you just defaulted to him. Not to mention he always felt like he had burdened you with his drinking. You had put him to bed and cleaned him up more times than he could remember and he was sure there were several instances where had had been too drunk to realize.

“You could say that,” you begrudgingly agreed. “He was the only one in the world I could remotely relate to and I had no one else after, or even before, my games.”

“Yes, well I’m sure everyone can clearly see his manipulation. Tell me, did you ever truly love him?”

Haymitch held his breath waiting for your answer. He knew you not to take whatever you said seriously but he couldn’t help it.

“At some points, maybe. But when he approached me about rebellion I was afraid. He threatened to leave me but at that point I was so dependent on him, I-” The tears new fell freely from your eyes.

Caesar moved over to your side, pulling you into a hug. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m sure it hurts to know the person you thought you knew would threaten to hurt you like that.” Once you composed yourself after a second Caesar returned to his seat. “Now was Katniss in on the plan as well or was she a victim of your mentor and the rebels like yourself?”

“I’d say she’s a victim. She never wanted any of this, none of us did. We all just want to live our lives in peace. We still can if everyone agrees to stop now.”

And at that the room interrupted into jeering. Haymitch looked around the room at the people who had once adored you for simply being a kind person within 12. “Traitor!” some yelled. A couple had turned on him, demanding to know if he had really taken advantage of you.

“Can’t you see she’s only saying that to survive?!” he yelled over all of the others. “You all know her, look at her.” Your image was still on the screen, condemning the revolution. “Does anything about that person on the screen look like the Y/N you know? No. She’s being used as a Capitol prop right now. The thing about the miscarriage? That’s true, she was pregnant, but she wanted this rebellion because she wanted a better life for our child. So don’t criticize her until the Capitol has their hands around your throat.” And with that Haymitch stormed out to his dormitory.

You prayed to any and all deities out there that Haymitch had either not seen the broadcast or knew that it was all a lie. The thought of him being heartbroken at your words was the worst torture the Capitol could inflict on you.

Once you were returned to your cell Peeta was led out, likely for a similar interview about Katniss. Seeing as there was nothing to do you curled up on the bed and shut your eyes, trying to sleep.

Haymitch was also curled up in his bed, trying not to let his demons get to him. He really missed his usual haze that helped keep the demons at bay. He was haunted by both Quarter Quells and by thoughts of you being tortured in the Capitol. But despite all of that he was determined to help Katniss and get you out and if that meant being sober, than so be it.

When his door opened he expected it to be one of the rehab staff telling him to go back to group therapy but rather he was met with Finnick. He looked like he didn’t know what to say so Haymitch sat up, gesturing for the peacock to come in. Finnick complied, leaning up against the desk. “I saw the broadcast,” he explained. “You have to know that she meant none of that, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” Haymitch paused. “Still isn’t easy to hear it,” he commented, opening up to someone besides for his wife for the first time in years.

“I know,” Finnick replied before letting out a dry laugh. “Isn’t it fucked up that I’m jealous of you and Katniss? I’d give anything to see Annie right now.”

“Peeta was on?”

“Yeah he just did an interview right after Y/N. He just condemned the rebellion,” Finnick dismissed. He sighed deeply. “More than anything I wish they were dead. I wish we were all dead.”

Haymitch sat in his thoughts for a moment. He knew you shared a similar mentality as Finnick, having admitted that you were only alive for him. He began to fear not only about what the Capitol was doing to you but what you’d do to yourself. Did you know if he was alive? Did you have a reason to live anymore?

As they sat in heavy silence the door opened, revealing one of the doctors. “Time for reassessment,” she declared, ushering Finnick out of the room.

It had been a couple days since your interview. You had sat and listened to the screams of your friends but you were left largely untouched. You were still receiving meals unlike the others which confused you because you had been resistant to them every time they approached the cells. “You have a customer,” the guard who had threatened you first burst into the glass cell. Y/N sat up, scared and confused. You knew what this meant but didn’t think it would happen so soon.

You began to beg to be left alone but was interrupted by a familiar face. It was the man who had threatened to have Haymitch killed if you didn’t agree to sleep with him, Mr. Summer. He was immediately upon you, sitting beside you on the bed. “I have dreamt of your body ever since that night we spent together,” he immediately jumped in, his lips on yours, hands already tracing your body. You let out soft sobs, realizing that now these men would likely be allowed to do whatever they wanted with you, no more guidelines about preserving you from Snow.

Haymitch stood in the control room with Plutarch and the other victors as Beetee tried to figure out how to get a video of Katniss to broadcast across all Capitol and District screens. As they were working on it a file came in. “What’s that?” Katniss asked.

“Could it have some sort of virus on it?” Plutarch suggested just as Beetee was about to open it.

“No we wouldn’t even see it if it had a virus. I assure you it’s perfectly safe,” Beetee assured opening it up.

Haymitch’s blood somehow ran cold and hot as a video of his wife popped up. On top of her was a mostly clothed man, one he recognized as the Capitol man he punched roughly a year ago. His wife, however, was fully nude. Her arms strapped above her head keeping her in place and unable to fight back as the man continued to thrust himself inside her. His hand was also clamped around her throat, *tight. She was sobbing and it nearly broke Haymitch to hear her sobs and cries for the man to stop. But as she spoke the man would slap her and hit her, leaving handprints and bruises on her body. “That’s enough,” he demanded.

“Hay-” Finnick tried to empathize with the man.

“I said that’s enough!” he yelled as the video was paused. A frozen pictures of your torture was left of the screen. “Get rid of that file,” he spat before once again storming off to his room.

You had absolutely no sense of time anymore. You slept whenever you could since it made time pass faster. You were often subject to sleep deprivation, a punishment the Capitol could inflict that didn’t cause any horrific physical wounds. The only physical torture you had suffered were the bruises from Capitol men— including the guards who held you hostage,— the shocks from your choker, and your now short choppy hair. At one point you had stopped eating, demanding that the others be fed as well. You didn’t have a view of Annie but you could see Johanna and Peeta get thinner every day. So thin you could count each individual bone in their bodies. When you started starving yourself, something Capitol men apparently wouldn’t find attractive, they cut off your long hair as punishment. They had dragged you into one of the torture rooms, strapping you down onto a metal table with your hair laid behind you. To up the terror they had done it with a sword, cutting it straight across on the table. They did even it out a little for the sake of marketability but it was still meant to torture you nonetheless.

They had told you over and over that you needed to behave so they could keep you attractive enough to sell your body. At first you had thought that becoming undesirable would be the best thing but they reminded you that significantly worse torture would be used on you. And judging by the fact that Peeta and Johanna were frequently dropped in their cells half dead, you realized just how easy you had it. So you started to comply and your compliance made them start to question you about the rebellion.

You were brought into the interview room once again but this time you were left in the hospital gown and the cuffs stayed on. And rather than Caesar interviewing you it was some man in a military uniform. He cut right to the chase as you sat. “Ms. L/N,” he rudely remarked, “tell us about how you became involved in the rebellion.”

You weren’t sure what to do. You didn’t know how much they knew and what would be useful to them. As well as not wanting to reveal any names, fearing their punishment if the Capitol ever got to them or their loved ones. You also knew your reluctance would be met with punishment. “Plutarch Heavansbee,” you named, suspecting he was already in deep shit. “He approached me at the welcome party for Katniss and Peeta during the victory tour.”

The man nodded, several assistants scribbling down information. “And what did Mr. Heavansbee say to you.”

“He said essentially that there was a way for me to be free, to not be subjected to the Capitol’s… desires.”

“You could’ve stopped at any time, Y/N,” the man interrupted.

“At the expense of the only person left for me to love,” you countered. “I know Johanna, I know why her family was killed. Don’t act like I had any sense of autonomy,” you spat.

“Ms. L/N, I suggest you calm down,” the man said, holding up a familiar remote. You swallowed your pride, sitting back in your seat. “Now, tell us about the plan you were a part of.”

“I was only told bits of information I needed to know, I suspect the same for the others. All I really knew were that Johanna, Finnick, Beetee, Haymitch and I were essential Katniss’ allyship and because she wanted Mags and Wiress they became essential too. There were also a couple tributes in on it to protect Katniss. I knew that we’d shut down the arena once we were all together, I didn’t know how until Beetee told us about electrocuting the other tributes in the arena. But when we were about to we’d have to cut out Katniss’ tracker which is what Johanna and I did. According to the plan we’d remove our trackers just before being brought out of the arena as well.”

“Did you know how you’d be picked up?”

“No but I figured I’d know it when I saw it,” you admitted, realizing how much you had blindly trusted Haymitch and Plutarch.

“Do you know what was supposed to happen after?”

You shrugged. “I knew that Katniss was supposed to be the Mockingjay— the face of the rebellion. I have no clue where they are or what exactly the plan is.” Internally, you were glad you didn’t know. You didn’t risk putting anyone in danger that way.

“Well I suppose there’s no harm in telling you since this is widely known information.” The man leaned forward. “The rebels are in District 13— your husband is hiding underground like a scared rodent,” he sneered. “He left you in that arena and in here to be tortured in order to rot underground.”

You wanted to ask about District 13, you thought they had been buried under piles of nuclear rubble and there was nothing left. But in response to his insults you stared at him, stony face, wanting to rip out his tongue. “We’ll see who the scared rodent is when Snow turns on you.”

Part X | Masterlist | Part XII

#haymitch #haymitch x reader #haymitch abernathy #haymitch abernathy x reader #thg #the hunger games #the hunger games x reader

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tabbedtabby · 4 months

Text

calamitous love and insurmountable grief

johanna mason x reader

summary: On a hard grieving day for you, you recall an old holiday celebrated centuries before Panem.

a/n: valentine’s day oneshot!!! happy valentine’s day! inspired by a round of frantic fanfic me and my friends did (ty ruby) and the title is a lyric from the lakes by taylor swift bc i barely slept and don’t want to think of anything better. implied fem reader

cw: cringe 😓

words: 1.9k

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Your head lies limply on Johanna’s lap, your face expressionless as you stare deeply into nothing in particular. It was just one of those days for you. One day you’d wake up and be completely fine, skipping down the tile to the shops that make up the streets of District 7. The next, the memories would come surging back twice as strong and ferociously crippling as the last. The images of the dead stained under your eyelids; family, friends, even the soldiers you’d hardly taken the time to know during your fight against the Capitol. Some lost to your own hands, but most to Snow. It seemed impossible to think that he couldn’t reach you here, trying your hardest to forget about the Hunger Games and the war and the people you’ve lost. You’ve been trying to enjoy the little things again in this past month, taking a train out to District 7 with your girlfriend after Snow was assassinated, if you could call it that, really. Swarmed by the mob after Katniss’ arrow found Coin’s heart instead.

It happens to Johanna, too, so she gets it. She simply rests one hand in between the strands of your hair, her fingers brushing through the pieces as she fights with her own memories. She never knows quite what to say with these things, how to help. Often she opts for silence. She hasn’t cared for someone like this in so long. But Johanna has come to learn that her touch helps you more than words ever could. The feeling of her hands stroking your hair calms you, sedates that awful feeling that always seems to rise up into your throat like bile. It hasn’t taken long for her to learn how to calm your fears with just one simple touch, even if it’s something that goes unspoken between the two of you. Like a covert oath held together by the most lenient of hands, gentle fingers that have a tendency to care. Johanna’s touch is the type that draws all of the emotion out of you, like a magnet to its opposite end. Her hands absorb your fear and lead your mind to simpler things. A lantern in the dark, the only star in a polluted sky. Your mind wanders as you try to remember what you wanted to say to her.

“Did you know that before Panem, there was this holiday? About love. And you’d buy stuff for them. Like, your lover. It was called Valentine’s Day. Reading about it always made me wish I was alive back then.” you say, your brain reeling back to all those history books you’ve been reading to pass the time. You can almost feel Johanna’s eyebrow raise above you.

“Who wouldn’t? Worrying about stupid shit like that instead of getting reaped for a death match,” Johanna sneers, although the ferocity in her words isn’t directed at you. It never is. She’s always seemed to have a soft spot for you in that way.

“Yeah… it would have been today, you know. February 14th.” you say hesitantly, and your mind wanders back to those pages. The stores with the synthetic white lights overhead that illuminate the rows of heart-shaped boxes filled with chocolate delicacies. You’ve only ever had chocolate in the Captiol because of just how expensive it is. You’ve never been able to wrap your head around the idea of it being sold for so cheap, so common that it was purchased by millions to offer to their lovers. How simple their world seems to you. So different from the Panem you know. The Panem that condones violence, prejudice, the slaughter of children. But that Panem is one of the past now, too. Maybe humankind could return to such a silly holiday that revolves around love and stupid things like chocolate and flowers. Maybe Panem could finally heal after all the damage that was dealt.

Suddenly, you shoot up from Johanna’s lap, an idea forming in your head. Johanna just stares at you expectantly as you attempt to sort your thoughts into comprehendable words. Usually, it’s to no avail, but you need these words to reach Johanna’s ears right now or you’re going to explode.

“We should celebrate! We can both go out into town and get a gift for each other. It doesn’t have to be traditional, or anything too fancy. But I want to get you something. We can just pretend we really did live back then, before Panem. Before any of this.” you say, pushing the words out excitedly at the thought of celebrating anything at all, really. The aftermath of the war has been heavy and overbearing. There hasn’t been much room for fun or excitement or any of the childish feelings receiving a gift entails. This prospect is what has your eyes looking expectantly up at Johanna, on the edge of your seat for a response from her.

“Sounds stupid, but fine. Only because you look like you’re about to throw up.” Johanna decides, rolling her eyes, but you can see the small smile on her lips when she stands up. The excitement fizzes in your stomach as soon as the words leave her mouth. Something to look forward to! Not only that, but you get to give a gift to Johanna in return. This was the best thing that’s happened to you probably since you saw the life leave Snow’s eyes. Your life was filled too much with remorse and grief for your liking; even this small celebration was sure to bring some light back to your world.

Johanna is someone special. The only person left on this earth you’re sure you love. She’s not just anyone to bestow a gift upon, she’s Johanna Mason, for fuck’s sake, so you have to make sure you buy something meaningful. Something that she’s sure to cherish until her dying days. You sling some coins in your pocket and head out the door, heading in the opposite direction as Johanna into town so that you don’t run into each other while buying the gifts. Although, you’re both pretty famous around here so you doubt the shopkeepers will actually charge you for anything. The entirety of the country knew you as survivors of the Hunger Games, so most typically go pretty easy on you and Johanna. Even if their pity makes Johanna want to tear their limbs off one by one.

Your excitement shows by the way your feet bound you out onto the streets, taking quick glances at all of the shops open in the middle of the week. But as you bounce down the tile, you suddenly slow and realize you have no idea what a meaningful gift for Johanna would actually be. Being so soon after the war, chocolate was out of the question. Flowers were too simple; hell, if Johanna wanted flowers, she could have picked some in your yard herself. You think of getting something to aid her hobbies, but she doesn’t have many hobbies really except for cutting wood with an axe, and she’s already got plenty of those.

You begin to feel a bit defeated now as you wander around town, your bag of coins still clutched unused in the palm of your hand. You haven’t known Johanna for too long, but you thought you at least knew her better than this. You almost turn around until your eyes catch on the blacksmith shop.

On the front of the stand hangs an axe that must be completely forged out of metal, the sleek black and silver parts illuminated by the sunlight. It’d be impossible for it not to catch your eye walking down the path, the way that it shines in the very front of the stall. It must be a premium, because you’ve never seen an axe with a steel handle like that before. It’s heavy, sure, but Johanna’s managed to rebuild a lot of the muscle she lost when captured by spending so much time hacking away at firewood. Now that you think about it, the axes she uses must be older than she is because when she comes back home, you always have to fish splinters out of her fingers with your tweezers. As soon as that shiny, new titanium reaches your eyes, your coins are practically already in the blacksmith’s pockets.

No matter how much of your trauma was broadcasted on national television, a weapon like that is going to cost you a fortune. But the blacksmith recognizes you and offers to put something on the handle for free. You watch intently as he carves you and Johanna’s initials onto the handle with a small, neat heart on the end. Just the sight of it makes your lips raise in a smile with pride.

On your way back to Victor’s Village, you pick up a small box for the axe and buy some red ribbon to wrap around it, just for added effect. When you arrive home, Johanna’s already waiting outside for you, a larger, flatter box slung under her arm. She looks a bit bored, but her green eyes catch on you as you approach.

“Sorry. Took me forever.” you mutter through your grin as you walk up to her, already placing your box in her hands. Johanna smiles similarly, her lips a small smirk as the sunlight catches in her eyes. You can see the small flecks of brown in her eyes, a brighter green in the light than typical. Her hair has grown back curlier than before, the wavy strands ending just below her ears. You miss the red streaks in her hair. You wonder if she will dye them again once hair dye begins to be produced and sold again.

When Johanna takes the box from your hands, it’s almost like she can recognize the weight of an axe instantly. Growing up in District 7 will do that. “Nothing light, huh?” she grins, her eyebrows raising a bit knowingly as she tostles the box around a bit, hearing the metal slosh against the cardboard of the box. You can’t help but think she looks beautiful like that, with the sun dappled over her skin. You watch her almost distractedly until she hands you the box she had kept under her arm.

“Here, before I open mine.” Johanna says, her smirk widening just a bit as she looks at you intently. You smile back up at her as you take the box from her hands. It’s quite flat and almost weightless. You nearly drop it from expecting something heavier. You look up at her in question, and she just tells you to open it again. You roll your eyes, but the smile doesn’t leave your face as you gently take the top off of the box.

Your brows furrow in confusion as you slowly take your hand to touch the fabric in the box. It’s a piece of clothing. You gently unfold it, letting the box fall to the floor. It’s a dress, originally white, but cream around the edges with age. But it’s clear it’s well cared for, not a single stitch missing or a piece of lace misplaced. It’s beautiful. You nearly gape your mouth in shock as you run your fingers along the white satin, the pattern forming small flowers, and it feels silky smooth beneath your touch. Your eyes raise back to Johanna, the emotion clear in your gaze as she looks back at you with pride in her small smirk.

“I looked into one of your history books. White for weddings, right?”

#hunger games #hunger games imagine #the hunger games #johanna mason #johanna mason x reader #johanna mason x you #valentines day #happy valentine's day

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