#just because i related to (one) thing i was automatically autistic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

weeb-polls-with-pip · 6 months

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Autistic Anime Girls Finale

SUBMISSION PROPAGANDA:

Asa -

"one of the first things that shows up when you search up 'asa mitaka' on google is 'autistic' which is a good start.

some notable traits is applying herself to rules when it's not needed, when she waited to walk the street at a red light even when there was absolutely no cars, she doesn't fit in well with her peers, notoriously awkward (and a bit of a klutz), she doesn't seem to have an acknowledgment of her own tone or volume when talking to people (she feels okay just yelling out loud to her devil hallucination in public..), and of course.. her idea of a date is setting up a timed-out plan, with her telling many sea creature facts without pause. she does NOT wanna deviate from this plan. She very much bores her date, but she thought it would win him over instantly.

all in all Asa is a very relatable character to a lot of autistic people, especially autistic girls and autistic teenagers. a lot of her character and arc is centered around social isolation and trying to connect with people, and how that also interacts with self worth. personally i think she should win."

Izutsumi -

"Izutsumi is a picky eater and she has sensory touch issues as well plus as a catgirl she automatically gets autism because all cats have autism by human standards."

Richeh -

"her life's purpose is to live her life according to her own rules, regardless of society's rules that don't make sense to her. and she does that by wholeheartedly embracing her special interests of making delicate magic of crystally stuff and shiny ribbons! she's also prone to making lil puns with her name and the names of the other witches in her atelier, and nobody really gets them aside from the people in her found family <3

also (CONTAINS SPOILERS) her brother once told her that he loved her magic just as it was and that he hoped she never stopped making it and being herself (paraphrased cuz i don't remember the actual quote!) and she took that literally to mean that she shouldn't make magic that wasn't the kind of magic that was hers- i.e. shiny, small, ornate, and detailed magic. Being forced to change how she made her magic in order to "do things the proper way" during her original apprenticeship caused her intense distress, and she'd often refuse to do so and would instead think up her own magic to solve problems instead of doing things by the book. Doing that subjected her to harassment and abuse from her original professor, leading to her eventually needing to leave her 'traditional' witch apprenticeship and get her apprenticeship done at Qifrey's atelier, a place far removed from the main witch cities that accommodates her and allows her to grow the way she wants to."

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dissociacrip · 10 months

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i'm gonna spare the op of that post my adderall-fueled ranting but tbqh i wouldn't say being disabled affects how i perceive my gender identity so much as its impacted how other people gender me, and then that informs my perception of my gender identity. it's not purely an internal thing.

autism and ADHD, for example, are associated with things like poor volume control and generally "boisterous" behavior (though not every person with these conditions exhibit these behaviors, of course.) a lot of behaviors i exhibited as a child (and still do today) in relation to being autistic and having ADHD are ones that are considered "masculine" and this is part of the reason that i've been read and i'm still often read as not-female or at least not feminine/girly/womanly by my peers. and that is something that has definitely affected my gender identity (aside from the fact i have various bodily features that are conventionally understood as "masculine.")

that's just scratching the surface though. i've seen this mentioned sometimes on here before but not often. there are some disabilities that i would say are very much gendered while others are kind of degendered instead (or in addition to), in that people who are disabled in certain ways are pushed out of womanhood or manhood or "acceptable" understandings of gender by external forces for a variety of reasons related to their disabilities.

intellectual disability. other (neuro)developmental conditions. certain intersex variations that lead to disability. other conditions that affect the structure or functioning of the sex organs (because gender is also wrapped up in one's ability to sufficiently "perform" heterosexuality, which is also wrapped up in normative ideas about how to perform intercourse.) reliance on mobility aids. limb differences and other structural differences. paralysis.

that's not even close to a complete list.

Because I'm a wheelchair user, people see me as incapable of having a gender identity, so often they will correctly avoid using gendered language or pronouns to refer to me, but it's not because they're recognizing and respecting my identity as a nonbinary person — it's because they think my wheelchair automatically makes me genderless. It's not misgendering as such, but it's degendering, and it's a different kind of harmful and it's part of a larger system of ableism that considers me less of a person because I'm disabled and a wheelchair user.

( "Here's What Transgender People With Disabilities Want You To Know," Buzzfeed )

idk where i'm going with this. generally the ways in which disability impacts the way someone is gendered or someone's gender identity are super complex and difficult to map out + something that is very wrapped up in the way external forces affect us in relation to gender.

there's a multitude of ways to have a "wrong" body (or "wrong" behavior in terms of how behaviors are gendered, which is more often the case when we're talking about psychiatric disability) and both womanhood and manhood are wrapped up in normative ideas about bodies, bodily functioning, and what someone does with their body. perceived deviations from normative ideas about those things irt disability are not only punished on the basis of being a "failed" person (not being abled) but often also being a "failed" woman/man.

#cripple punk #cpunk #this post mainly focuses on physical disability so i think that tag is appropiate but--#j #ableism

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mrghostrat · 5 months

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i was hoping to stream this afternoon but i woke with my shoulders hurting so bad that i have absolutely zero capacity for anything. to the point where i experienced my first autistic rumbles in the supermarket 🥸 but i have adhd meds now so maybe we can try tomorrow.

zita's suspected i'm on the spectrum for a little while now, but i've always been on the fence about it. there's a lot i don't relate to. but most of that is bc i have so much learned behaviour, and i mask really well. when i try to break down how i think for autism diagnostic quizzes, my gut reactions DO fit the bill, but they are so so so buried under 30 years of life experience that feels like it comes naturally.

but i am an introvert. an extreme introvert. even while living alone with my best friend, who i get on perfectly with and feel zero need to mask around, i still need to excuse myself and be left alone in my room from 10pm at LEAST.

so i only really unmask when i'm dead alone. even though i dont feel like i'm putting up any kind of front around of zita, i still do, automatically. the only time i see myself completely bare is when i'm alone and it's silent and there is absolutely nothing challenging my comfort.

sooooo hoooooo boy waking up in pain, with zero capacity to even finish a thought, still empty of ADHD medication because of the fuckin manufacturing shortage (thankfully today's trip into town was to finally pick some up! but that wasn't until noon), i got to see a side of myself i don't know if i've ever actually seen before? maybe as a kid but i can't remember specifically that far back?

i've been short tempered and overwhelmed and exposed to sensory nightmares whilst home alone before, but it's usually so quick bc i'm at HOME and i can adjust the situation and i never think much of it. i felt like a bluescreen at that supermarket today, popping in for less than 10 things across 3 aisles.

it was so busy. there were so many people. i felt dread just to walk through it, so aware of my own body and the space i had to inhabit. but par for the course so far. what was less par for the course was having to stop and look at my list every 3 steps, unable to put together a course of action in my head: chicken is on the far left, so we grab that first and get broccoli on our way to the soup aisle. but the broccoli is right there. do i grab that first, go get the chicken, but then double back from where i just came? i might get myself some bananas too, how do i fit that into my path—

i had to keep stopping and looking at my list because every item i thought of made me forget the previous one i just looked at. eventually got fed up with myself and went to the closest thing and started there, regardless of whether i'd have to double back or not. that's what trips me when i take these quizzes n shit. i can get over the hump and do the task in the end, so that must mean i'm totally allistic! no autism here.

i remember thinking "jesus christ this is bad" when i was on my way to get zita's soup (if you've read this far, thank you and kisses to you, pls send some loving vibes to zita by reading her fic i just reblogged, bc she's got a cold and is miserable today) so i was kinda aware i was having a bad sensory day. as expected: there were a lot of people there, and i was in pain. but i just short circuited looking at soup. zita gave me the brand name and soup type of 3 cans she wanted. and i went to the aisle i've been to a thousand times, found the brand, and just stared. it was all stew. all chunky brothy things with bits in. not a single creamy soup in sight, so, the soup must be somewhere else.

i came to that conclusion immediately but i couldn't. process it? or like, what to do with that information. the soup is somewhere else. OR IS IT? keep looking at this shelf to make sure, your eyes are tired, you might've missed it. there's like 20 different cans of campbells here, just keep reading them left to right until soup appears. still no soup? read them again, you might've missed it. maybe campbell's is out of soup? read every other brand here until you Don't see soup, then you can walk away and try somewhere else. but if you don't see any soup, read it again because you might've missed it.

thankfully it took all of 30 fuckin seconds for a store employee who was shelving next to me to see my glazed fuckin stare and ask if i needed a hand with anything. and i stammered through some "haha my silly eyes today!! haha thanks! sorry, thank you!" as she happily pointed like 3 metres down the aisle for me, while my internal monologue immediately raged like "wtf why would they put the soup that far away but also barely far away at all, what's the point, bad design 😡"

got soup. check list: packet of gravy. zita told me the gravy was in the same section as the soup. it was not. i walked up and down that aisle five times and there was no gravy. i just. i had completely forgotten how to problem solve. it was the strangest, most frustrating experience. like i was looking at an empty word document in my brain, with a little flashing cursor and everything, so i knew it hadn't frozen over. it was just empty.

i even had the thought "just walk up and down the aisles until you find gravy; you have to do this all the time" and even had ideas of which aisles to start with. but my brain said no. we're not going to walk around aimlessly, even if we have a neat little structure and path to follow. we were told (by myself, too) this would be a quick in out trip, pluck the known items off the shelf and beeline straight for the checkout. so meandering down aisles was for some reason non negotiable. i wasn't in a rush. i had nothing to do today. i barely even felt a rush to get out of there, as busy as it was. it just wasn't an option.

so rather than start solving that problem i just jumped to the next thing on the list. strepsils. text to ask what kind she wants, have a whine about my broken brain, ask if she knows where the gravy is. remember when i pass the hair brushes that i broke my hairbrush this morning and need a new one!! oh and i've been wanting new hairclips too. look at me picking a new hairbrush and poking through the hairclips for one that i know will feel comfortable against my scalp, i'm not autistic because i can change my plans and make decisions on the fly.

oops didn't mean for this post to be an entire play by play of my thoughts through this extremely bland grocery shop. i cannot believe how long i stood there choosing soup. the line at the self checkout was so long and i felt the dread kick up again. barely/silently whispered "oh god" to myself when i realised the line, but repeated it about 20 times to feel the tap of my tongue against the roof of my mouth before i realised i was doing it. stop that, don't mutter to yourself. but i'm standing still in a line and there's nothing left to (ineffectually) problem solve, so the second i stop i notice a weird little slice in the plastic around the trolley handle that i can't stop flicking my thumbnail against.

OK. we need to stim. heard, chef. just click your piercing ffs. your mouth might look weird when you do it but at least everyone can see you're just clicking your teeth against your piercing, rather than talking to yourself or damaging public property.

something made a noise, can't even remember if it was a child or a trolley or what, some loud sharp single high pitched screech a few metres away, and i jolted so hard i thought i felt like i was going to throw up. finally think, fucking hell i'm autistic today. my back hurts. which is making my head hurt. i want to go home and take my vyvanse.

#ghost scribbles #autism #extremely long unimportant recount of my day #but it was quite cathartic to write #feeling very vulnerable and tired now ufgh

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homiro · 5 months

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[Image ID: Screenshot of Quora answer that reads.

I'm autistic. Why are neurotypicals allowed to hurt my feelings, but when I retaliate everyone defends them?

Yeah I can relate. The underlying issue is that there are “socially acceptable” ways to hurt people which NTs know the codes to do. If you do the same thing but “too directly” it’s then considered “you’re a bad person”. There’s also this completely pointless system of implicitly defined social power structure. So depending on where you are, they are also cleared by others to do some terrible things. I think it’s because most NTs are not as observant about what’s actually happening, so they just follow whoever was able to make them feel good/trusts regardless of what actually is happening. I’ve seen at least 2 literal sociopaths executing those things but when I tried to protect others from them, I ended up being the one “punished”. It’s really weird and not fair, but that’s unfortunately how it works in majority NT environments. Unless you can outwit them, I’d advise just stay away. End ID]

I know this is quora but uh... It makes so much sense literally it all clicked together. This person cracked the code and this is soothing to know I'm not alone in this. Why I'm immediately jumped while everyone else gets coddled when they're absolutely horrible to me. If I retaliate I'm automatically the bad guy and the villain and an awful person but NTs are just poor little babies who did nothing wrong even when they do everything to hurt me lol guess I don't fucking want to know the code because I'm not a lying piece of shit like them.

#homiro said some shit #actually autistic #actually neurodivergent #anti nts #fuck them #mandatory not all nts but somehow always an NT #neurodivergence #ableism #autism

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written-among-the-stars · 26 days

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I just binged Dead Boy Detectives yesterday and I need to get my thoughts out of my head or else I'm gonna explode so here they are (yes I watched all of the show yesterday and even though it was the dead of night when I finished and I still scrolled on tumblr for over an hour afterwards)

the amount of queer media with supernatural / ghost stuff nowadays is really great I love it, and it's now what I will call the "Unbury your gays" trope (my favourites from this genre include "Cemetery Boys", "Under The Whispering Door", this frick show and Lockwood & Co. as a honourable mention because it feels queer)

the sets are gorgeous, especially Mick's magic shop

these title cards or whatever they're called are an underrated element of comedy

Charles outfit with that coat and the buttons would make such a good cosplay

another tumblr user said they always mixed up Charles and Edwin's names in the beginning and honestly same (like Charles also looks like an Edwin and Edwin also looks like a Charles or maybe it's just me)

Niko. just Niko. love her. (also her and Edwin's friendship is the best and I headcanon both of them as autistic)

the worldbuilding is so unhinged like wow they're in Crystal's mind and here's this creepy demon and there are eyeballs hanging from the ceiling and here's this creepy man who's also a cat and he's also the king of the cats and then they're in literal hell like w h a t

like many others before me I too was disappointed to find out Crystal was not in love with Niko, Niko just had parasites, and yes that's just a thing that happens

on that note, Crystal and Charles do not work together romantically, even if we leave aside other ships. Their dynamic as friends? great. everything beyond that? no. It just has these "he was a boy she was a girl can I make it any more obvious" vibes that I detest and am really fed up with

I'll say it now and I'll say it again: a female lead character shouldn't have to have any super special unique fantasy powers or be a male character's love interest to justify her being a main character. It's just something that I am observing again and again in books and shows alike

Crystal has a lot of unexplored potential. And it's always difficult to have a character with memory loss because you automatically lose a big chunk of backstory and potential character motivations until later in the story. But I have hopes for season 2 (if we get one pleeeease)

they really played Apocalypse in the Jenny and Maxine date scene and expected me not to notice

the Cat King is creepy and icky and I will die on that hill. he does not respect personal space and what was up with that "I'll remove the bracelet if you make me happy" like are you for real what the fuck (derogatory)

I've taken an unexpected liking to Monty. idk why but I relate on a personal level

#dead boy detectives #i have a problem

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takeme-totheworld · 26 days

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I often see sentiments floating around my corner of the internet like "neurodivergent people tend to run in packs" and "neurodivergent people only struggle to socialize by neurotypical standards, put a bunch of neurodivergent folks in a room together and they'll understand each other much better," and while those things are no doubt VERY TRUE, I've realized recently that my mind has also turned them into a weapon that I use to invalidate myself constantly (because I DEFINITELY needed more of those /s).

Because most of my social circle is some kind of neurodivergent (because of the whole tendency to run in packs) and there are plenty of misunderstandings and conflicts to be found there, including many issues directly related to our neurodivergences. Conflicting sensory needs. Differing responses to anxiety or overwhelm or trauma that bump up against each other. Different cultural backgrounds and assumptions informing how our brain things get expressed.

It's rarely as simple as "one person was just being a jerk."

It's also rarely as simple as "one person is the Less Neurodivergent Person in this situation, and that person is guilty of not being accommodating enough of the More Neurodivergent Person's needs, and if they would just be better at it that would solve all our problems." As much as my rule-loving brain often wishes for that to be an equation I could run on every interpersonal conflict I've ever gotten myself into, in order to accurately determine who is responsible for fixing it.

I was raised by a single parent (who is no longer alive) who, in retrospect, was almost definitely autistic. I'm now starting to wonder if I may also be autistic. If you didn't know anything else about me or my parent you might be inclined to assume that we understood each other really well and got along great. And in some ways that was true—we definitely vibed out on similar wavelengths when just chilling around the house, in ways that the average observer would no doubt have found very weird—but in other ways it was VERY VERY NOT TRUE. And I'm not even talking about the big things, like the fact that they were super religious and did not handle my transness well. I'm talking about little ongoing things as I was growing up that messed with me in far more subtle but deeply engrained/long-term ways.

My parent was never diagnosed with autism (or anything, they had a deep distrust of mental health professionals and avoided them at all costs). They were also the product of an extremely Southern U.S, passive-aggressive, "guess culture" sort of boomer upbringing and cultural background and, I suppose, internalized that heavily in order to survive. So the assumptions, expectations, and messaging I received around certain things growing up were...a giant confusing mess, frankly. Being raised by an almost-definitely-autistic parent, in this case, did NOT automatically equate to being raised by someone who always communicated with me in a way my (also-possibly-autistic) brain was able to grok easily. There were certain things about which they would seemingly go to any lengths to avoid making direct asks about, and then they would get EXTREMELY annoyed and hurt when I seemingly ignored their unspoken requests.

So I learned to be REALLY GOOD at sussing out hidden asks from people and responding to them. Because over time I became anxious and hyperalert about the possibility that I wasn't doing things the people around me expected me to do and they were quietly seething about it (and/or deeply wounded by it). That thing a lot of neurodivergent people say about making an intense study of like...casual social interactions and small talk in order to be able to follow all the confusing unspoken expectations more easily? I did a bit of that, but it was a far lower priority to me than this. What I did kind of obsessively was make a study of deciphering the language of unspoken/soft asks and guess culture rules, so I wouldn't constantly find myself failing to deliver on things I didn't even know were being asked of me.

For a long time I wondered if this made my assessment of my parent's likely autism incorrect even though they were otherwise a textbook example in almost every way. The frequent and intense emotional dysregulation and sensory overwhelm, the shutdowns, the unusual body language/vocal inflections/facial expressions and the inability to parse those things in others, the social discomfort/awkwardness and isolation, the adherence to rigid routines, the narrow interests, the way they would repeat certain words and phrases frequently...I could go on. But they DIDN'T have the stereotypical "extreme directness/say what you mean no matter what" pattern of communication. And neither do I. Because of a cultural upbringing factor.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. I have a million different examples like this in my mind of ways that my neurodivergent friends/family and I have miscommunicated and confused each other and triggered each other and come into conflict in spite of (or in some cases, because of) our neurodivergences. But just explaining this one example has already gotten many paragraphs longer than I meant for it to be.

And while I wouldn't for a second trade my people for a pack of neurotypical folks—both because I love my people exactly the way they are, and because I'm sure the rifts in communication and understanding would only be that much bigger and more frequent if I was surrounded neurotypical people instead—hanging out on the neurodivergent internet has sometimes given me this false expectation that finding a neurodivergent social circle is THE key to a magical wonderland of perfect community and harmony where nobody ever feels alienated or misunderstood. And that has definitely resulted in A LOT of thought spirals of me going, "So what's wrong with me, then? Why do I get it wrong so often even with other neurodivergent people?"

I think the answer is: because people get it wrong with other people often. That's just what being a person is like.

#personal #neurodivergent #actually adhd #possibly autistic #possibly audhd #guess culture #it's complicated

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madelynhimegami · 9 months

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About twenty years ago (probably closer to nineteen), I finished my playthrough of Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life.

This morning, I finished my (first?) playthrough of the A Wonderful Life remake.

Well before I finished, I decided I wanted to make a post talking about it, giving my general thoughts on it. And I'll probably just end up rambling. Who knows if it's at all interesting to people but. Here goes.

Being able to save and load anywhere at any time is such a game changer. Holy moly. Even though I didn't really have to do a whole lot of reloading (except where fishing requests were concerned). But it still felt very good to have.

On a related note, the remake is so transparent about its mechanics, it's amazing. I know that AnWL already had some tranparency added to it (especially wrt your kid), but just. Having as much info as the remake gives you, at all times, is nuts. Makes things so much easier to finagle around.

Likewise, thank god for automatically recording cooking recipes. It was already practically impossible to remember how to make anything in the GCN games. The fact that the Harvest Sprites gave you a new recipe every day also helped. As did telling you when your cooking skill levelled up, because the GCN games didn't tell you anything.

Characters actually sound distinct now! The thing about mediocre localizations is that you don't know what you're missing out on until you get a good localization. And wow, the amount of personality shown by having characters speak differently adds a shocking amount.

Even with all of the QOL updates... the main thing that makes me never wanna touch the GCN games again is that they're a lot less bugged. I once again blame the old localization.

(you think there's weird stuff going on in the remake. you have no idea.)

That being said, aside from being able to select your pronouns at the start of the game, the cast (including yourself) don't really do much of anything to gender you. AnWL gave me so much gender euphoria before I even knew what it was. (Not to mention the FoMT remake set the bar for being gay in a way that AWL is set up couldn't really replicate). So... who knows. Maybe I'll end up replaying it someday anyway.

Granted, I say that, but as I was typing that sentence I thought about how the event for giving your toddler a bath was broken so that you could not give him one. Instead of a Yes/No prompt the game just said "Several days later..." and then continued like you had said no. Maddening.

Nuts to it, someone just give me an annotated textdump.

After so much hemming and hawing about who to marry in the remake, I ended up just marrying Nami again. One part autistic lesb solidarity, one part her kid being so goshdang powerful. Either way, I joked about how nothing about me had changed in twenty years.

Once I got to chapter two, I started screencapping like crazy. Got almost 400 of them on my switch now. I just wanted to note everything I could about what my darling baby girl was doing throughout her life. Also my wife.

In my original playthrough, even though I tried to influence my son into either art or academics, he ended up becoming a farmer. But then again, I also didn't understand how to influence him optimally. Which sounds awful out of context. Oh well, at least his life was mostly organic.

I managed to get my daughter into academics before chapter two ended. Probably the most interesting thing that happened was how her dialogue changed. She started reciting her ABC's to herself, and mumbled about books, and said that gemstones were like puzzle peices. It was darling.

Since I've only played the entire game with Nami's child, though, I do wanna replay the game just so that I can see what a different kid is like.

Problem is, it just brings back the marriage problem. And the child career problem, because even if I marry Muffy, like hell will I raise an athlete (but I don't want scholar again... but also if they're an artist they run away from home after the game ends, which is kinda messed up).

A lot of people in the village make comments about how air conditioning isn't good for people's health. They did that in the original game too, if memory serves, but it's still weird. Is this a thing in Japan, or was the person that wrote those parts of the dialogue have a vendetta of some kind?

This is another thing that I know got changed in AnWL, but I'm still so glad that chapters are only one in-game year long. There's a special kind of pain to get to the end of the year, only to learn there's more you need to play before you see your kid get older.

Despite that, I still got a whole lot done, to the point that I spent most of the last two years just idling because I had nothing else to do. Same way I got to the endgame of the original, come to think of it.

I never bought the teddybear. I wasn't gonna do it when my daughter was a teen by the time I had the money. I'm not that dumb. Doesn't do anything but be spoopy anyhow.

I seem to remember the seed maker being instant in the GCN game. If it was, it got seriously debuffed in the remake-- you can only put up to twelve crops in at a time, and it takes 20 in-game hours for the seeds to be produced. Obviously meant to balance how absurdly high tree seeds could be sold for, but the prices were already slashed to pieces, so it was just overkill and made it hard to keep up with what crops I did or didn't have seeds for.

I genuinely hope I never have to make nine of each rare crop again. I mean, technically I never had to anyway, but I did and it was so much pain.

Cows are absurdly expensive in the remake. I guess it's to balance the fact that there's no limit on how long cows can be milked, but

here's the dirty secret

If you have a cow and a bull, they'll mate on their own without you needing to order for it. My cows in the GCN games were constantly getting pregnant. Anyone who complains about cows going dry was doing it wrong.

Sheep are significantly more affordable, though. So I ended up getting mostly those instead.

That being said, a star/brown/marble cow giving S Milk (and the latter two getting their milk processed into butter and cheese respectively) does give you more profit than golden wool does... until you get the Blessed Clippers and you start getting two bundles of wool per sheep (which is insane). But wowie are they expensive...

My new personal hell is having a dozen sheep following me around to scream at me. Did they do that in the original(s)? I never bothered with them....

I'm still sad Flora's not a marriage candidate.

As I mentioned, I was basically without anything to do by the end of the game. Which makes the infinite postgame chapter's existence kinda funny? I don't know what else I'd want to do with that, since as far as I've been able to tell nobody has new dialogue.

No really. I can't even 100% the game anymore because Van stops selling goats, I have over 5 million G, I've grown each one of every plant, caught every fish, dug up all the digsite items, and have all in-game achievements. What would I wanna keep playing for?

Also, why isn't Nina in said postgame chapter? If it's the afterlife anyway, then she should be there too, dangit!

I still don't understand why the dog is trainable.

The player's child is so adorable. I love my daughter so much, she's such a sweetheart.

Wish her self-esteem wasn't so low from chapter 3 onwards, though... another reason to see the game married to somebody else.

I am so grateful there's no friendship decay for the villagers.

What a great game.

And now, some of me rambling about my history with the series:

I don't know what drew me to the original AWL game. All I knew is that there was coverage of it in an issue of Nintendo Power, and I just kept reading and re-reading it. I had a couple friends that swore by the HM games (in particular, 64 and StHL), but beyond that I guess something about it intrigued me to the point that it became a game I really wanted. Had a plan of how I would run the farm and who I'd marry. And counted the days before I finally got it (must've been a birthday or Christmas present).

And I played through it, beginning to end. Despite my brother scorning it. Despite one of the friends that swore by HM64 thinking it was such a watered down derivative it made him laugh several times even as he tried playing it himself.

I also got the girl version when it came out. Don't remember how I afforded it, but I remember that I was too embarrassed by wanting it to let anyone know I did get it but myself. Never managed to finish it, but boy howdy did it have a lot of gender euphoria. I got to be a mom.

...I tried other HM games since. I got Magical Melody (which I recall using Action Replay to turn my player character into a girl that make perfect sense to me now but I don't know what I had been thinking at the time), but dropped it shortly after my wife started expecting.

I got both versions of HMDS (mermaid wife yes please), but only stuck with them for about two or three in-game years each.

I got Isle of Happiness, but honestly the fact that every item had decay to it stressed me to the point I couldn't play without Action Replay codes to keep everything top quality and freshness forever-- and even then the crap you gotta juggle is crazy. Played long enough to marry the Witch though, so that ruled.

I got Hero of Leaf Valley, and that one I actually stuck through to the end (including forgetting how many zeros were in fifty thousand and ended up raising up half a million G before the second year's end), but got too paralyzed with indecision on who to marry (it was mainly between Gwen and Aurelia, since I read that Alice couldn't be raised to red heart after the credits. Game seemed to have thought I had my sights set on Lyla, though).

I tried Rune Factory 4... but something about it just didn't vibe with me so I bounced early.

Every now and then, I thought about going back to A(n)WL, or maybe trying a different one. Never did, though. And Stardew or other inspired's didn't ever really grab me.

And yet I inhaled the chance to play the AWL remake when the time came. And now I've finished it. Go figure. I'm still not sure what it is about that game specifically that calls to me.

I think the amount of interactability with your kid is a big factor, though.

#story of seasons #story of seasons: a wonderful life #A Wonderful Life #harvest moon: a wonderful life #SOS AWL #HM AWL

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swoosbadfuture · 2 months

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ian and erin headcanons . hi im sane

Ian

Barely scraping 5’7

Half Canadian on his mom’s side

Bisexual, male pref

Straight A* student all aside from literature in which he barely has a B. Do not mention literature to him ever he’ll go mad

superiority complex . start the clown music . he needs to prove he’s the best always because if he isn’t the best then he’s automatically the worst

Very very autistic + low empathy. Prefers logic > emotion . Has a kind of “im not the weird one everyone else is weird I’m the normal one” view by accident

Complete Mama’s boy. you would never expect it but he is her little boy through and through

Gets along well w his dad too but they have very similar personalities and kinda clash a lot . Similar ideals just both very argumentative n stubborn . But god they will sit and listen to music for hours and just go full autism mode over it

Both his parents are very chill though. They are also both goths n r very proud of Ian

He's an only child

Voice breaks the moment he shows any emotion he’ll be talking normally n then get emotional n his voice just 📈

Speaking of which he is overly emotional and very bad at expressing it . very volatile person

Loyal to a fault and very justice oriented but also kinda holds these values to everyone without realising not everyone has the same morals . He doesn’t quite Get that not everyone is the same as him

Overprotective in a way that sometimes comes across as possessive . He’s not possessive he just has issues okay 💔

Phobia of the ocean and everything in it u will never see him on a boat ever he’d rather Die

Was good friends with Jason in kindergarten but kinda drifted apart from him as Jason got closer with Kevin. Kevin and Ian have never liked eachother insult eachother mercilessly. Poor Jason had to sit there and watch as they tried to beat eachother to a pulp. You can tell Kevin hates Ian because he rarely ever calls him by his first name

has a boyfriend in secret. Very much denies it. Only Erin and his parents know and he is trying so very hard to not let the secret out

Wants OUT of McKinley so bad . doesn’t even care abt changing his last name. I imagine McKinley is probably a bit of a small suburban town thats a bit of a bedroom community. The theme park is probably more well known than the town itself. Ian knows that if he just moves a few towns over then the name association will Go Away

Wanted to do astrophysics at college :) thinks space is cool as fuck

Resting face is worse than bitch he looks like he’s about to commit a murder in cold blood . Cold stare 0 emotions. And then suddenly he smiles and he’s just :D

Must stick to a consistent sleep schedule or else he’s a delusional nightmare

Stronger than he looks but would also probably crumple into 1000 pieces if he stubbed his toe

Likes horror movies but is lowkey a bit squeamish . would never admit it though. His favourite movie is Saw 2004 and he has to look away at all the gorey parts

Erin

5’8 and uses this 1 inch she has over Ian for Everything.

German ancestry on her dad’s side but doesn really know much about it besides that It’s There

Bisexual w pref for girls .

She/they nonbinary

Dyed her hair blue once and the ends are still kinda stained . Doesn’t care to cut it off because she thinks it looks cool (it does (it absolutely does))

Actual straight A* student and again uses this against Ian and teases him about his many struggles with Shakespeare

Collects bones n skulls n animal pelts and etc. Owns a few taxidermy animals .

Also very autistic n relates a lot to Ian bc of it

Is actually fairly good at socialising! just hates people

Parents do not understand the whole goth thing but are trying their best . Yes they did freak out when Erin brought home a taxidermy rat she got while out with Ian at an arts fair but oh well what can you do

Used to do figure skating when she was young !! still very confident at ice skating n likes to show off whenever she goes compared to Ian whos constantly falling on his ass. Let her have her moments of glory she deserves them.

The one who does the nail polish. Hence why hers is always perfect and Ian’s is always chipped bc she can always touch hers up whenever she needs to and Ian Cannot

Very aware of Ian’s superiority complex absolutely humbles him every chance she gets

Kinda obsessed w shitty low budget horror movies and indie films

Absolutely adores the art of SFX and fake gore / blood / etc n loved doing it herself. Halloween was her favourite holiday and she’d always go all out with it. Or would grab Ian and make him sit there for 2 hours. “come here sit down I need to see how realistically I can make your hand look like it’s been mauled” “Erin ew what the fuck”

Crush on Wendy that she’d never ever admit to. Only Ian knows and they have a deal where if he doesn’t spill about her crush she won’t spill about his boyfriend. Problem solved (they’re at eachother’s necks over it)

Makes friendship bracelets for her friends. Rest in peace Erin Ulmer you wouldve loved the Loom Bands craze of 2014

the both of them

Social rejects but they own it ™️ . Will literally take in anyone who’s also a bit of a ‘weird kid’ and convert them to goth subculture

Unfortunately this happens never it really do just kinda be the two of them vs the world huh

Dated for like a week once in sophomore year. Broke up immediately after their first kiss and decided they’d just pretend it never happened and that that 1 week of their lives just doesn’t exist. Did not happen ❤️

That being said though RAAAH WHAT ARE THE BOUNDS OF FRIENDSHIP. They hug and cuddle and hold hands and kiss cheeks constantly even if only as friends. Very physically affectionate though partially kinda to fuck with people who can’t seem to understand what the hell is going on with them both

“Oh yeah look at us nobody thinks we’re queer” “Ian we’re goth we might as well have it tattooed on our foreheads” “Fucks sake I can’t have shit in the 21st century”

Friendly banter is fucking insane they are just straightup insulting eachother. You know that one Gumball meme where Gumball is in hospital after being hit by a bus and he gets a card from Darwin saying “that bus should’ve ended you. love Darwin” that’s them that’s them that is them

They care eachother so much they are just bad at vocalising it so if they arent sitting there hugging they instead feel the need to be aggressively mean to eachother in loving and caring way

Erin is way more grounded and has more common sense than Ian who meanwhile is batshit insane at times and will 100% do crazy shit for the hell of it

Both of them rockin up to the town next door w their fake IDs to buy a months worth of R rated movies (fool proof plan (Ian almost got arrested once))

If only they had been around when Vine came out …. they would’ve been famous i tell u

#ian final destination #ian mckinley #erin ulmer #erin final destination #final destination 3 #final destination #headcanon post #im so insane about them ok #literally THE best friends ever

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chronicbitchsyndrome · 9 months

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i feel like being descriptively disabled (having a disability that interferes with your function in some tasks, roles, and/or other contexts) and being legally disabled (labeled as disabled by your government and subject to laws that only apply to people legally labeled as disabled) are different things, sometimes. like, populations with a lot of overlap, but still distinct experiences.

like... i am less descriptively or functionally disabled than some people that i am simultaneously in an indescribably worse situation than legally, simply because i am legally labeled as disabled by my government and therefore there are human rights abuses that it is entirely legal and even encouraged to do to me--abuses that are not legal to do to other disabled people because they do not occupy the legal position of disabled despite being descriptively disabled.

like, the fact that i am legally registered as a developmentally disabled person means it is perfectly legal for my biological family to push for and claim legal ownership over me for life, and i have little, if any, say in the matter. this is one of the reasons i legally changed my name and am incredibly anal about making sure my old name isn't connected to my new one, and one of the reasons i've cut all contact with my biofamily despite wanting to be friends with my siblings. and when i say "legal ownership," i mean that quite literally. it is entirely possible and legally encouraged for them to reclaim the ability to control my money, medical decisions, and living situation, for the rest of my life.

(i can't get rid of this power. i could transfer this power to my spouse if i get married, but i can't get married, since that would cut off my health insurance and income, also due to my legal status as disabled.)

there are plenty of autistic people who don't have to deal with this. many of them face even more significant developmental challenges than i do, and have more difficulties in their daily lives as a result. they may even have a diagnosis--having a diagnosis doesn't automatically register you as a disabled person with the government, you generally have to pursue benefits or other social welfare for that to be relevant. and yet, i still face this legal unpersoning simply because of bureaucratic chance. it has nothing to do with the severity of our disabilities, or whether they're physical or mental, or what challenges they present, or even what they are--it's just down to literal chance.

idk. been thinking about this a lot lately. disabled people who aren't legally disabled don't seem to have a lot of understanding of what my life is like, generally, which can be frustrating. sometimes i don't relate to a lot of "spoonie" or other disability spaces because they're focused on a particular disabled life that's inaccessible to me--one where you're struggling with functioning in a life where you have access to all the typical privileges of legal adulthood, and you can use typical adult legal privileges to navigate your functional struggles. but my disabled experience is that i'm struggling with functioning in a life where i am legally considered to not be a full person, and trying to navigate living my life without basic human rights, meanwhile i also have functional issues on top of that, but i have to navigate them in an entirely different way so that i don't ever set off any governmental alarms that could get me institutionalized or put in a conservatorship.

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vulpecular-draconic · 3 months

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i’ve been feeling some kinship towards fae and changelings for a while, but i’ve always brushed it off as just liking the stories about them, or relating to them bc i’m autistic and autistic kids (and other disabled kids) were mistaken for changelings.

now i’m wondering if it’s more than a kinship in the non-kin sense, or if i actually *am* one.

i sometimes daydream about being fae. i even have a daydream world where i’m technically not a fae, but humans occasionally mistake me for one. my sona in that world also sometimes calls themself a changeling instead of a shapeshifter, bc i just like the word and concept of being a changeling more. it makes me happy to call myself a fae and a changeling.

i get slightly annoyed (in more of an amused way) at how a lot of fae in modern stories are written to basically just be humans with wings and magic, instead of creatures with their own non-human ways of thinking. i feel like that kinda takes the fun out of it — like why would you remove the interesting stuff? (disclaimer: i know there’s alterhuman folks who are those types of fae, and that’s totally fine and awesome ofc! this is just my personal feelings. i’d rather be perceived as a more traditional fae than some modern versions.)

on that note, when i try to daydream about being fae, i feel disappointed that my thought patterns are more human-ish than fae-ish. i find myself wishing to know what it would feel like to not be able to lie, and to make sneaky deals with humans — things like that.

there are some aspects about myself that i think are fae-ish, though: for example, i cannot say most absolute statements. i usually always have to allow for exceptions (i’m doing it right now, for goodness’ sake!). for example, i can’t say “i always stay up late” even though most people — from what i’m told — would automatically assume there are exceptions to that statement. they wouldn’t think i literally always go to sleep late every single night, they’d just assume it happens most nights. but implied exceptions aren’t satisfying to me. how would someone *know* an exception is implied? if they assume there are exceptions even when hearing absolute statements, then what if a statement truly IS an absolute statement? because then they’d assume an exception for something that had no exceptions (if such a thing even exists). and if they don’t assume there are exceptions, i don’t want to say an absolute statement and cause people to think i don’t know of the exceptions. so instead i’d say something like “i pretty much always stay up late.” the “pretty much” implies that there are some nights that i go to bed early, but there’s enough nights of me staying up late that it renders the exceptions nearly insignificant.

i have a lot of mashup shifts — aka when i have a bunch of unrelated phantom limbs at the same time. as i say in my intro post, i call these cryptid shifts, but sometimes “cryptid” just doesn’t have the right vibe. both my gender and my species can be heavily influenced by whatever my brain is hyperfixating on. when i’m hyperfixating on something like welcome to night vale, which is set in modern times in our universe (kinda), both my gender and species tend to take on a more cryptidish kind of hue since cryptids are associated with this reality. but if i’m hyperfixating on something fantasy, like tangled, my gender and species takes on a more fantasy-ish hue. (urban fantasy is kind of a toss-up.) my point: when i’m being more influenced by fantasy, instead of connecting to cryptids, i feel connected to fae and changleings. they’re kinda similar — mysterious, sometimes scary, can look like many different things — they feel like the same flavor in different colors to me, if that makes sense. and to be clear, it’s not just a fun name for mashup shifts. when i feel like a cryptid, i am a cryptid. i’ve had cryptid shifts where although it has elements of my other kintypes, i didn’t really feel like those kintypes at the moment. i was a cryptid. and although i haven’t consciously thought of my fantasy flavored shifts that way in regards to fae/changelings, it feels correct.

i’m a psychological otherkin. nearly anything is a possible kintype if my brain latches onto it hard enough. all the little moments of fae could have built up throughout my life until my brain is like “that’s YOU,” even if it wouldn’t happen to other people that way. this point isn’t exactly a reason, really just context as to how my nonhuman-ness works. (i wonder, would i be fae if one instance of learning about them didn’t happen? would i be a changeling if i didn’t read the oddmire books?)

welp, now that i’ve written all that out, here’s my reasons for having imposter syndrome

i don’t actually know much about the old legends and myths about fae/changelings. i went down a rabbit hole once of reading scottish(?) legends about them, and i’ve read over the changeling wiki a few times. i think i get the general gist of them, and i tend to want to learn more about them when the opportunity arises, so i’ll likely learn more in the future. but i don’t feel like i know enough. which, i know, you don’t have to be an expert on your kintypes to know you are one. but what if i’m missing some crucial information? or i have a big misconception about them?

now here’s a rebuttal to my imposter syndrome bc i have some good arguments:

while i’m not connected to the modern versions of fae, that doesn’t mean i’m connected to the very original versions of fae. there are some things about the original myths that don’t feel like me. i am probably somewhere in-between of “ye olde myths where your secretly changeling baby turns into an old bearded man” and “sexy brooding guy with wings.” the versions of fae/changeling that feel like me could have elements that are warped or made up in my head — which, hey, that’s kinda just what being a psychological otherkin is like sometimes. brains do weird stuff. whether or not fae and changelings were ever real, they’ve lived in minds for centuries, and the stories have changed over time. being one more small, personal change in turning wheel won’t affect much.

so,, yeah. i think i’m a fae and a changeling. maybe. or maybe i’m just autistic.

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autisticmusings · 3 months

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Lesbians and Ableism

I am a 26 year old autistic lesbian woman, and it’s made for an isolated and lonely life. I relate to very few people, and have always felt excluded from womanhood.

Which is why I knew I was a lesbians from a young age, and it was easier for me to accept my attraction to women. I’ve always felt like an outsider among women, and other lesbians have always expressed the same sentiment.

Which is why I expected more understanding and compassion from my community, but every time I’ve reached out for support or advice I’m shown nothing but deliberate misunderstandings, hostility and ableism. The last straw was recently, on a lesbian forum and a lesbian discord server, on separate occasions, I’ve looked for advice on my marriage and whether or not I should get a divorce.

And despite the fact that I am the one that got hurt, I am somehow always blamed for it- either I’m mean and shitty for daring to be angry about being hurt or I deserved to be abandoned and hurt because I’m autistic and my wife clearly has “caregiver burnout”. All of these people knew I was autistic but did not know the dynamics of our relationship or what all the details were, but automatically assumed I was in the wrong, entitled and a burden just because I have autism. When really, despite me being a level two autistic, I was the one in the caregiving role. I paid most of the bills, except for a year and a half where I worked part time, did most of the cleaning, cooked all the meals, etc. But just because im autistic then I must clearly be “wearing her out” and I’m entitled to expect her to do her part in our lives together. And I have heard other disabled lesbians have similar complaints- that just because they’re disabled no other lesbians want to have community with them, newly or temporarily disabled people are abandoned, disabled people get told we’re “too much” even if we clarify what our disability is, how it effects our reality and what we’ll need in our relationships.

Ableism, just like racism and fat phobia, is just as big of a problem in the community, and not nearly talked about enough. Lesbians, we will never have community if we don’t come together as lesbians and commit to actually being kind and loving towards each other, to be there for each other- that means even doing things that are uncomfortable, learning different communication styles and accommodating those around you who have different abilities and needs than you.

#actually autism #actually autistic #autism #autism spectrum #neurodivergent lesbian #autistic lesbian #lesbian #lesbians #lgbtqia #ableism

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anonymous-dee · 1 year

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Ranpo! Is! Autistic Coded!

Hear me out! I definitely think Ranpo from BSD is Autistic coded! It only occurred to me during my second watch-through but a lot of his mannerisms actually match up a lot with my own experiences as someone with ASD! :0

I found a whole article explaining a lot of different things that make him Autistic coded so I'll link it here! But I'll also make a TLDR version too in case the link doesn't work!

BASICALLY!

1.Infodumping/Overtalking

2.Missing tons of social cues

3.Obliviousness in many situations

4.Not understanding/feeling/expressing emotions the same as others

5.Comfort objects and stimming

6.Meltdowns

7.Sensory issues (especially with clothing)

8.Hand flapping

9."Childish" or unusual interests/hyperfixations

I love him so much! (Even though Akutagawa is my ultimate favorite character)! I would love to elaborate on the points made above but the article does a better job than me!

UPDATE!! I JUST STARTED WATCHING SEASON 4 SO UNDERNEATH HERE WILL BE S4 SPOILERS!!! PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!!

So based off of all of the Ranpo LORE revealed in the first episode his Autism beams are stronger than ever because HEAR ME OUT!!!

So it's revealed that Ranpo always gets perceived as childish even when he doesn't wish to be perceived that way (I know he's 14 but he says something along the lines of like "Here we go again, getting treated like a child") which is something many people with Autism (me included) have to deal with from our NT peers

AND! Not to mention the particular eating habits from when Fukuzawa was taking him out to eat red bean bowls with mochi in them and he didn't eat any of the mochi (in any of the 20 bowls)

AAAAAND! This is the spiciest part! It was revealed that Ranpo kept getting fired from jobs because of how blunt he was with the truth and how he would easily confront his superiors about their past or their crimes! It's so hard for many Autistic people to keep a job oftentimes because many of us don't understand social cues!

Another thing was that Ranpo automatically assumed that all of the tiny details he noticed were common knowledge and that everyone was on the same page as him, when in actuality he was noticing things that nobody else had yet to pick up on!

There were many other moments where Ranpo either didn't pick up on social cues or said/acted in ways that were out of pocket or not "normal" if that makes sense, and it only strengthens the argument that Ranpo is Autistic coded!

FUKUZAWA IS SUCH A NICE ADOPTIVE FATHER TO HIM OKAY AAAAH I'M ONLY ONE EPISODE IN BUT LITERALLY I LOVE RANPO SO MUCH! HE JUST LIKE ME FR FR

OKAY SO ANOTHER EDIT/UPDATE!

IN EPISODE 2 RANPO SAYS SOMETHING VERY DISTINCT AND APPLICABLE TO MOST PEOPLE WITH AUTISM AND IT WAS THAT "There's something that everyone else gets that I don't"

And then he has a small meltdown in the theater and you can clearly see people are starting to stare if you look closely

I literally relate to him so much so much so much

IN EPISODE 3, Ranpo also notes that he can't pay attention to things he has no interest in, which is something I personally really struggle with (especially as a college student RIP)

I'm not 100% sure if his breakdown at the end of episode 3 would constitute as something that should be added to this list, but I think it's noteworthy because I myself have also had similar meltdowns that went very similar to Ranpo's and I want to mention it.

I know I keep expanding this list as I find more and more content but somehow Ranpo's existence and the way he is unanimously respected and loved by the ADA is somehow really validating and comforting to me at the same time. I know BSD is fiction but somehow I see myself in Ranpo and yearn to be loved in the way that he is by all of his friends.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungou sd #edogawa ranpo imagines #ranpo edogawa #ranpo bsd #bsd hcs #bungou stray dogs headcanon #asd #anime #autism

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oksanas-sun · 10 months

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hey this is random but do you have any favorite headcanons for oksana/oksana and mommy?🫶🏻 i always love hearing your thoughts about them :’)

i have a few!! ofc my brain doesn't react when directly confronted with having to give examples lol so i can only name some right now. don't be surprised if i add something in a couple days or even weeks because i suddenly remembered something i just *need* to talk about :D And a gentle warning, I overexplain, so this is gonna be long even tho it's just a handful of points lol

• while Villanelle's love language is gift giving, Oksana's is physical touch - it shows most with Eve, she's always somehow touching her (hugging/cuddling or hand-holding, etc). But also Konstantin is someone she clings to when he visits. Or I like to imagine that they see Pam sometimes and Oksana gets along with her well. Maybe they have something like a secret handshake😊 And similar with Eve's coworkers, etc. When she allows touch, it's a sign of real trust.

• Talking about touch, some of Oksana's favourite things next to getting her hair stroked are forehead kisses because they make her feel very small and nose kisses because they feel funny :)

• If Oksana isn't sleeping cuddled up with her mommy, then she's buried under a pile of plushies while she sleeps. Partly because she doesn't want any of them to feel neglected and partly because it makes her feel safe.

• Oksana loves dancing and unlike her big self, she doesn't mind showing it - she's always automatically rocking along whenever there's music playing; bobbing up and down, shaking her bum, turning in circles, flapping her arms. Toddler dancing. Often she'll grab Eve's hands and make her bob up and down along with her.

• Considering the autistic Oksana headcanon, Eve always has an "autism survival bag" (posted about that once; it has stuff like noise cancelling headphones, sunglasses, fidget toys, etc) in her car, for when her baby gets overstimulated

• Eve just always knows what Oksana needs, like it's second nature. She knows when she needs a hug and when it's better to keep her hands off, when she needs reassuring words and when she just needs to cuddle up with her in silence. She understands her down to the bone, and it's why Oksana feels so safe with her.

• Oksana is quick in building emotional bonds to animals, no matter if it's fluffy ones like cats and dogs or ones that make a lot of people squeamish like bugs and spiders - they're all worthy of love for her. (Because if Eve decided she was worthy of it, what made them any different? <- is her inner reasoning) Interacting with them calms her and helps her heal because when she's petting a cat or carrying a fragile butterfly, she has visual proof that her hands which were trained to kill can be gentle too

• In relation to that, Eve knows this and she loves to watch her interact with them but she's still not too thrilled when Oksana toddles to her with a spider in her cupped hands, saying she found a new friend😅

I think that's all I got for now ^-^ Like I said it turned out long lol. I only know how to over- and underexplain, never a healthy middle, I'm sorry :,D

#ask #eve and oksana #oksana #oksana headcanons #eve and oksana headcanons

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hiiragi7 · 1 year

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A lot of you have such a black-and-white worldview that you take anyone else's experiences as a direct attack on your own.

No, a DID diagnosis is not inherently a death sentence - But to say that a DID diagnosis cannot ever affect your ability to adopt, get accepted for a job, or anything else is false.

Yes, even if it's illegal to discriminate against someone on the basis of a disability. It happens anyway.

I have been seeing a lot of people saying "I just don't tell them I have DID and it's fine" - Have you ever considered not all of us are functional enough to have the choice to hide it like that?

I do not have direct personal experience with DID specifically affecting my ability to get work or adopt or get into a good school, because I was diagnosed as an adult and have never been employed or interested in adoption - I am too sick to even leave my bed most days.

I do, however, have direct experience with systemic discrimination on the basis of having an autism diagnosis since the age of 6.

Certain schools would not accept us or would make us move schools because they saw autism and did not want to deal with "a kid like that". Our very first school kept suspending us and sending us home and punishing us and refusing to follow our learning plan and eventually just told our parents to move us elsewhere. This was first grade.

Growing up, our autism diagnosis was what justified abuse, which they called "treatment".

It was also used as a tool to question our ability to do things, communicate, and know what we want.

Our autism diagnosis generally either meant we could not possibly make our own decisions or it was played up for the entertainment and feel-good of neurotypicals.

We ended up in news articles and events occasionally as a little kid. They all focused on our autism. Do you know what a big deal it is to neurotypicals when a kid "like that" can deliver a speech to hundreds of people? You end up being the talk of everyone, you're an inspiring story for "overcoming" this "disease" they called autism.

And yet they still will be cautious accepting you into whatever school you wanted to go to because they doubt your abilities and believe your parents must have faked your writing to sound as cohesive and well-written as it did when you applied. We were gifted in english. But we were autistic.

And then they turn around again and use you as good PR.

Your first introduction anywhere you go is "This is X, they have autism!"

"Look at what good people we are for accepting such a child into our program!"

And then they turn around again and mistreat you for that very thing they will publicly brag about.

They will also see your diagnosis and want to use you for free or reduced labor cost. I do not remember anything about this relating to us, but kmow for a fact this did happen to many of our fellow SPED kids in highschool - They'd have programs to employ autistic youth where they paid you solely in "work experience" and "social skills".

You do not get paid - You get "to learn life skills".

I also know of many programs where, while they technically pay you, they make use of disability laws that allow them to pay disabled people less than minimum wage. "They're all living with their parents anyway because they can't live on their own, so it's basically just like an allowance."

Even moving away from us for a moment, we have known people personally who had their ability to parent their child questioned in court because they had one or more mental health diagnoses on their papers.

Do you see what I'm getting at yet?

No, a DID diagnosis does not automatically mean you will be discriminated against on a systemic level and outcast from society - But to say it is not possible at all is to ignore a very massive and glaring ableism issue that is a very real lived reality for many, many people with DID and other disabilities.

It is not "misinformation", it is often not even "fear-mongering" to point this out.

We live in a shitty world - To tell someone with worries of getting a DID diagnosis that "That won't happen, don't worry!" in regards to discrimination is incredibly misleading.

No, do not say that an official DID diagnosis is some kind of monster that forever seals your fate as to how you'll be treated within society and that nobody should ever get diagnosed unless they plan to stay in an institution for the rest of their life or whatever. That's stupid.

But for the love of god please stop telling people that they will not be discriminated against just because you haven't been. You are brushing the experiences of the rest of us under the rug in doing this.

#syscourse

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offmychest-official · 9 days

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As an autistic person myself, am i the only one who gets angry with the autistic community of the internet sometimes? Now you must be asking, "why tho?".

Well, I'm gonna tell. It's two reasons.

First one: the urge they have to claim any quirky character (or any character they like) as autistic. I've seen this happen with a ton of random characters (rory gilmore, luna lovegood, even oberyn martell??, etc) but I'm gonna give the most recent I've seen as an example: Francesca Bridgerton. I've watched some edit of Francesca since she won more screen time this season. In the comments, one person was asking if she was autistic, and the other one was straight up saying that of course she has autism. That made me think so much. So basically, anyone that is introvert and has a favorite hobby is automatically autistic? That's such a nonsense, are they so desperate for some kind of representation for us that they're making up things now?? Not only is bad to to spread misinformation like that, this also contributes even more to the stereotypes we try to avoid.

The second reason, still in this same waters, is how a lot of them only look at their own navel. For example: i've seen a short video of someone showing autistic characters that, according to them, were not a good representation of autism, and there was a ton of good-written characters in there. Some people were agreeing, some were not. I was the one who didn't agree. Are they forgetting that there are different types of autism and autistic people are not all like eachother? I mean, you may not find sheldon cooper or Sam from Atypical relatable to you, but for some autistic people they are. Saying an autistic character is not a good representation of autism (except for a few cases) just because you don't sound like them is really egocentric, like?? The world doesn't revolves around you or your autism, honey. And I seriously think that's a form of invalidate other autistic people out there.

#off your chest

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selectivechaos · 1 year

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intermittent mutism vs situational. chronic catatonia

main differences i could find (from 1 website and 1 unit of energy. also: do not have intermittent m; these are quotes from site) were:

sm situations are more consistent and related to social anxiety; (and although the dsm criteria excludes autism, i’d like to point out that many people with sm are autistic)

intermittent mutism can involve social anxiety, but also a range of other factors which, for many with it, is related to chronic catatonia, autism and adhd.

“We’ve seized on the term ‘selective mutism’ (a separate diagnosis defined in the DSM to explicitly exclude autistic people), but most of us don’t report the ‘selective’ pattern of mutism, where someone consistently speaks in one setting but not another, classically a child who speaks at home but not at school.

Instead, we go mute intermittently, when we’re experiencing sensory overload, are drained from performing at work or at an event, have anxiety over an interpersonal interaction, or have been alone for long enough to get out of the habit of speaking.

This intermittent mutism is, for me and many other people, part of a larger cluster of experiences: Chronic catatonia. Most symptoms of catatonia involve freezing up or slowing down, but an inability to inhibit repetitive actions or physical agitation can also show up.”

long post under cut about what intermittent mutism and chronic catatonia can look like (from experience of just one person)⚠️

🌹“there are many different gradations and expressions of mutism, beyond the obvious one where you can’t speak at all. For me, levels of mutism include:

Being able to speak normally, except to bring up one topic that I want to but am afraid to.

Being able to speak but not say ‘no’ or anything to that effect.

Not being able to speak normally at all, but appearing normal-ish because I (not necessarily voluntarily) reply with empty niceties or whatever my brain assumes the other person wants to hear.

Being very limited in my speech, slow and halting and not able to say what I mean directly, but able to utilize what I can say and people’s reactions to it to eventually get a situation resolved.

Being unable to speak at all, but able to type or write.

Being unable to speak, and having my hand freeze up when I try to write, or my legs refuse to move when I want to stand and get something to use for communication.

🌹“But this mutism is itself part of a broader spectrum of catatonic experiences, including:

Being stuck in a weird pose, completely unable to move, yet displaying “waxy flexibility”––like a posable doll, if someone were to move my position, I would hold it.

All of the above, but with only parts of my body impacted, e.g. I can move my left arm but not my right.

Lying in bed unable to get up for hours after waking every day, unless I have a strict routine of getting up at a prompting event (like an alarm clock, or a certain amount of time before a bus comes that I really need to catch).

Sitting in the car for half an hour after parking. Sitting on the toilet seat for over an hour after showering.

Staring off into space while sitting/lying somewhere much of the time.

Automatically following instructions or assumed expectations from other people.

Being able to walk again but only if I’m walking with someone.

Moving jerkily and/or slowly, sometimes with bad balance.

Various forms of mental shutdown in stressful situations, such as large sensory-overloading, unstructured social gatherings.

Temporary physiological changes including extreme susceptibility to cold, reduced strength and endurance, and a difference in heart rate.

again, would like to point out that many people with sm are also autistic. this is not a ‘stop using sm as a term’ post. this is just because i’ve known a few autistic people irl who experienced things like this and didn’t know what to call it, so they ended up using ridiculously inaccurate and harmful phrases like ‘going nonverbal’ when they were still speaking some of time🌹🌹

#gotta sleep #situational mutism #selective mutism #lose speech #intermittent mutism lmk if any misinfo #autistic struggles #sm tag #id in alt text

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