#just feeling v v lesbian lately

[mobvla]

i love being a lesbian 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#just feeling v v lesbian lately #it's just so magical to be able to love women and feel passionate and happy about them and appreciate women in every way #i used to be so scared of not liking men and what that would mean in the long run #but with every passing day i grow more and more comfortable and free in my identity as a lesbian #i absolutely LOVE loving women and sapphic gnc individuals #i LOVE not feeling obliged to seek attractive traits in men anymore because i used to be filled with fear and confusion #i LOVE knowing who i am and being able to feel comfortable in my own skin loving who i truly love #like idk!!!! it's just so cool!!!!! to be a lesbian!!!!!!!!!! #to love women fully and unapologetically!!!!!! #i never thought that id be able to Be when i started realising i liked girls #i was so utterly terrified i tried to convince myself in many ways that i Must like boys too #and it was hard to free my being from comphet but god ive never been happier in my sexuality since i did it #women are just beautiful and amazing and fantastic and wonderful and im so happy to love and desire them #cheers to all wlw women sapphic trans people and lesbians!!!!!!!!!!!!! #dawning #lesbo

[cinematicnomad]

i was just talking about my favorite professor from undergrad who taught me queer lit?? and so i decided to email her to catch up and in the middle just dropped the bomb that i’ve since come out as bi and i spun it as a joke and was like “haha if i could go back in time i’d probably write a v different final essay for your class!!”

anyway i am literally shaking lol why did i do that 😂😂

#i loved her i definitely had a baby queer crush on her and just did NOT understand what was happening #she was this tiny butch lesbian who was like a head shorter than me and was just #so cool and i loved hanging out and talking with her #and once we had a v awkward late night convo at like??? 1:30AM when she emailed me asking me to stop by her office #and it was basically her fretting if i’d skipped out on her office hours one day bc of any perceived feelings on her part #which was not the case i skipped out on the hours bc i had pulled a procrastinator asshole move and not read the book yet #anyway i got v flustered bc i was trying to lie about having not read the book #and i think she got v flustered bc she was worried that i was some straight girl having a panic moment about her #(to this day i don’t know if she DID have feelings and that’s why she was worried?? or if she was just concerned i was misunderstanding) #(i can honestly say my mind had never gone there at that point) #(but i CAN say for years now I’ve been like ‘ok but??? DID SHE??’ mainly bc. again. i was OBSESSED with her ) #kat is bi

[ev1lmorty]

playing league is like exposure therapy

#insane anxiety bc i just realized the reason i havent been getting trolled in matches was bc when u join a party it saitches to party chat #so my team chats have been off for who knows how long #turned it on in time to play w a really nice sg jinx w a lesbian frame who complimented my ba lux......... thank god #i usually cant do mobas bc the playing w strangers part scares me shitless but NEEDING superhero jayce forced me to be semi normal #still feel rude for having chat off.... now like. gr8 ppl are probably being v mean bc ive been sucking hard at playing lately #think im just anxious abt life n league is being like #a weird anti anxiety n hyper anxiety activity #should sleep but sleeping is v scary rn for weird reasons #so much going on in my head rn at least my other brother should be here in like an hr #av.txt

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - New & Old Tropes Galore

Entirely subjective yadda yadda. Organized sorta by favs in each category.

Sept 2023 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Fri grey) ep 7 of 12 - occasionally I forget that Yai is like 20 and this is his first love affaire. That poem bit gave me very Goethe vibes. Lots of doomed lesbians in this ep. Doomed love in general. Frankly? I was hoping for more oil less sad. Also, these two are making some v stupid mistakes. Also: MORE boys dancing.

Finally... who was it wanted a rain kiss? You got your rain kissing here, okay? No umbrellas to be had, apparently.

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 7 of 12 - I love them so much. They are so darn adorable. I like how forthright Kang is. Boy has no game and is such a dork but at least he's enthusiastic. I love the “my boyfriend smells good” trope that BL is into these days. I’m into it, too. The bff enemies drunken bathroom shenanigans was v funny. Also @heretherebedork your boys are couple dancing all over the damn place this week.

I guess we get the boyfriends ep next week?

Hidden Agenda (Sun YT) ep 12fin - The conflict really kind of wasn’t in this last ep. But I guess it was a fine, if not a particularly strong, ending. I wish we’d had the family conflict threaded throughout the series. It would have felt like a deeper more honest drama and the actors could have handled it. They’re ready. How pretty were Joong’s single picturesque crystal tears? Honestly, it's been lovely, boys. Not at all memorable, but lovely.

Quick pitch Hidden Agenda: 

A relatively simple and harmless old-fashioned style university Thai BL, that started out Cyrano de Bergerac style but then drifted away into forgetfulness. It felt like it could have fit into the En of Love universe, except that it was high quality GMMTV with very pretty makeup. I enjoyed it for what it was, it's just that wasn’t much. 8/10 RECOMMENDED

Naughty Babe (Sat YT) ep 5 of 8 - Am I mostly watching this for Est and annoyed he doesn’t have a pair? Yes. (Am I writing a whole revenge plot in my head: "seduced to the good side by my enemy's hot bodyguard" with him and the Tem character? Yes. Yes I am. But that’s way too KinnPorsche for this show.) That said, MaxNat really are a great pair. Nice that Dio is figuring out how evil his own family is. Weirdly, I kind of like this speculation that if gay marriage were legal rich families would use it for arranged-marriage power plays. Can you imagine what China would do with this concept if they had access to it? 

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 7 of 8 - The morning after was sweet, I do like it when we get these scenes in BL. FYI no one misgendered Bojji except the caption writer. The screaming "discovery" scene was adorable. And I am very much falling in love with all of the side characters. I also love how aggressive Yang is, like he stepped out of a 2016 Chinese BL into Thailand. And I adore the main brother relationship.

I have to say, this is going to be a difficult BL for me to review. I didn’t like the first 4 episodes but it seems like I’m going to love the final 3. I’m actually really looking forward to the finale next week. Boy, do I feel strange about this. In other news, is it just me or is it weird to get a gay kiss from Ngern almost 10 years later? How late is too late for smooching a boy? 

Never too late...

Absolute Zero (Thai Weds iQIYI) - from 2021, Studio Wabi Sabi and New Siwaj finally brings us this “time loop to prevent tragedy” romance based on the novel of the same name. I think we can expect this to be sad (so it will likely slide down my list as I become more confident about this). Mix is a great actor, so I’m not worried about that aspect, but I am warning you this won’t be your classic fluffy Thai BL. It’s a bit slow moving for me so far. Meanwhile, a revelation:

Thai high school BL is all about the hands. I blame Love Sick.

FYI the outdoor movie they watch is Love of Siam Thailand’s first real queer movie, also featured in My Only 12%.

I'm in trouble, Ongsa is such a sunshine cutie and Sansoon is so lost and sad. Pretty sure I won’t have the patience for 12 episodes of this, but I’ll stick with it for now because a pair like this is yaoi-induced catnip for me.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 8 of 10 - Ah, Ray, baby, you can’t get what you want if you want the wrong thing. Also, corruption charges much? Is Ray turning into Ton or is that just me? I still hold that Jenny’s is the only story I actually wanted. Although, I did enjoy the two bi boys bonding over Freddie. GMMTV sure is making good use of Title now that they got him away from Wabi Sabi and I’m NOT mad about it (4 shows & counting). Under ordinary circumstances, I probably would have dropped this show by now. But something keeps dragging me back.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Right Time Right You ep 6 - This couplet ended up feeling like an amateurish short. It was interesting in that way shorts can sometimes push into unusual territory, but very slow. My favorite so far, but that’s not saying much since we've only had 3. Kinda amorphous ending. 5/10 watch it if you have nothing better to do. Next week's looks pretty but silly: You Are My Soulmate.

Venus in the Sky (Tues iQIYI) 5 of 10 eps - I don’t understand the bit with the girl, car & eyebrows. Was that all just ad copy? This show is so bad I’m mostly fast forwarding now. I mean the leads are cute and earnest but that’s it. NO SINGING! And... nothing happened this ep. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Kisseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) ep 7-8 of 13(?) - Buckle up I got A LOT to say. Ep 7 was the boyfriends ep! Look there’s a a lot of problematic going on here by western standards: age gap (FYI age of consent in Taiwan is 16) + teacher+student, but if you’ve been reading this blog for a while you should know that Taiwan likes both high heat and taboo content (and so do I) plus (unlike Mame) they just lean lube into those kinks. And I, for one, am delighted. I talk about taboo in terms of age gap here and stepbrothers here. I’ve never done teacher/ student because we don’t get it often enough (insert sad face). These are not things that I’m going to complain about or rehash, so, moving on...

I found a lot to love about ep 7: tie grabs, smiley kisses, communication, being held down, younger aggressor, AND preliminary research= all good things. They even brought in morning aftercare, and shared trauma! I love a show that’s both unexpected yet entirely classic Taiwanese BL. I love that the family appeared as a plot device and then disappeared again. It’s all highly amusing.

Gaga dropped ep 8 a week early, I’m assuming this was a mistake since they skip next week. But hey! 

Ep 8: def uhaul lesbians. Also cute queer fam moment. Ring finger biting = v hawt. Then of course it all goes south. Tres romantic means of taking the rap, gotta say. No one does gay sappy quite like Taiwan. Also, now we know why he loses his memory and Ai Di has to go in after him. Honestly, I’m not pleased to see yet another amnesia trope raise its ugly… head (why so many this year?). But it seems to be this year's trend. 

And I know there is more trauma coming, but in classic Taiwan fashion it’s all gonna be fine in the end even if that HEA is chaotic and entirely unearned. Don't worry, all. We good.

You Are Mine (Taiwan Fri Gaga) eps 4 of 10 - Oh noes, sunshine has a cold. And not from the rain... just, like, a normal cold. Amazing. But then when baby gets kidnapped, daddy gets v mad. Honestly, I am charmed by the show. It is very old-fashioned "domineering CEO puts little lady up against the wall" and it’s Taiwan, and thus I am not mad about it. This is what we would be getting from Mainland China if China we’re still making pulp BL. I am disposed to simply enjoy the utter "80s bodice ripper but gay"-ness of it all.

Bon Appetit (Korea Weds iQIYI) 1-2 of 8 - from 2022. If you have premium icky VIP you can binge it all now. I don’t, so instead I’m watching it 2 new episodes every Weds. Struggling heartbroken loser-ish office worker who lives off junk food + sunshine neighbor who loves to cook (from his past with a long-held crush). Also there is a "love class" element. Why does Korea like this conceit so much? Do their universities really engage in socialization training? Gotta say I’m getting whiffs of stalker... but only whiffs. Basically, this show is going poster child “way to a man’s heart is through his stomach“. Bit too much flashback, but I like that our chef is open about liking a boy, and I like that they remember things differently and in alignment with their own egos. And I like that we got a confession already. Ah KBL, it is nice to watch something that MUST move plot quickly. 

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 6 of 8 - Jealous weatherman is ridiculous. Japan = queen of “why don’t you guys just talk?” 

Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 2 - Ba Vinh & Minh Thao reprising their roles as Dung & Khoa what do we think? 8 eps? 10? We got the stepbrothers (or whatever they are) backstory. Also My Prettiest Cat-boy does certifiable nutcake v well. Psychopath looks hot on him.  

It's Airing But...

Crazy Handsome Rich (Sun Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - The sound. No. DNF 

I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan Tues Netflix-Japan & ????) - Adapted from the manga, childhood best friends: The cool, smart one who’s good at everything, and his average, dorky friend who struggles. Always by the other’s side, but not together in the way they truly want to be.

Unfortunately I Cannot Reach You, in classic JBL fashion, could not be reached. 

In case you missed it?

Viki dropped Our Dating Sim the movie. I didn’t notice any extra footage and they took out all the in game/high school flashback stingers. At first, I didn’t really miss them but by the end of the movie I really did. So this is going to be one of those rare KBL instances where I recommend sticking to the original series over the repackaged movie.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming October BL

10/1 Can I Buy Your Love From A Vending Machine? AKA Sono Koi, Jihanki de Kaemasu ka? (Japan cinema release in-country only) - This one is a movie from Japan so in customary fashion who tf knows when (or if) it will get international distribution. Salaryman Ayumu Koiwai just can't tear his eyes away from the strong, muscular man as he checks on the stocks of the vending machine in his office.

10/5 If It’s With You AKA Even If I Fall In Love With You AKA Kimi to nara Koi wo Shite Mite mo’ (Japan Gaga) - from MBS a live action adaptation of Kubota Maru’s manga ‘君となら恋をしてみても. Amane has stopped loving people due to trauma until he meets Ryuji. At first Amane just wants to play with Ryuji but… feelings. I am assuming 8 eps and rumored to be taking Weatherman's spot so that date is likely wrong.

10/6 What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) - 4th installment in this series (1st series, 1 special, 1 movie prior) about a lawyer who lives with his boyfriend, a hairdresser, and cooks for him. Season 2 will follow the couple as they enter their 50’s. Slice-of-life drama adapted from a beloved manga series of the same name.

10/6 My Beautiful Man: Eternal AKA Utsukushii Kare Eternal (Japan movie Viki & Gaga) - This is the 3rd and final installment the series. The 2nd season didn’t blow me away the way the 1st did, but I still liked it. I'm looking forward to the finale. I hope we get character growth for a change.

10/31 SHADOW (Thai VIU ????) - this is a horror BL featuring ghosts and other paranormal elements in a high school setting. I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all, but if it must be done in BL let Japan do it). It features Singto (who did paranormal BL He's Coming to Me) opposite Fluke N (who's done a couple horror's before). Also Fiat. Dan suffers from sleep paralysis, and in his dreams he sees a shadow that suffocates him. It gets worse when he transfers schools.

October? Bump Up Project AKA Bump Up Business (Korea ????) - BL staring OnlyOneOf that released(??) as a movie in July but is now being recut and reissued as a series. Stars NineMill and from Idol Romance bulled as a love story between a trainee who is about to debut and a celebrity from the same agency (based on a webtoon). OnlyOneOf have been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV work in this post. Idol Romance will do sad but can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You) but I don't think we will get any in this. After that OmegaX Shoulder bullshizz buisness I am very wary of this show.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

There was a ton of truly great stuff in this week's Kiseki, but this was hands down my favorite. (Pun intended.)

Oh and the neck kisses of course.

I LOVE HIM your honor.

GMMTV's ongoing love affair with the scent trope.

Calling out out new couple's dance trope. (Both Dangerous Romance)

(Last week) 

#this week in bl #bl updates #bl reviews #currently airing bl #new bl #bl 2023 #Thai BL #Taiwanese BL #Korean BL #Japanese BL #Vietnamese BL #Hidden Agenda Review #Hidden Agenda #Kisseki: Dear to Me #Dangerous Romance the series #GMMTV #Our Dating Sim #Absolute Zero the series #BLs dancing #new tropes in BL

[sluttylittlewaste]

Time Quangle Potential Impact List V.1

-Aelwyn very much looks like she's in her mid-20's. Additionally, she's fully not qualified to be a middle school teacher. That's 100% a job that requires the completion of at least a bachelor's degree and last time we saw her she hadn't gone off to college yet.

-I don't care how "interesting" or "refreshing" your New Age religious revival is, 60,000 members would take FOREVER to accumulate. (Also I know Tracker is a teenage lesbian so she might just move fast, but her having potentially a new girlfriend who's been around for a while seems...fast.)

-If last season took place during Spring Break and the Night Yorb adventure occurred in the summer, when would Fig and Kristen have missed a bunch of classes? Why would that be coming up the day before school starts a new academic year, at the end of summer, when there were no classes to miss?

-Fabian turning 18?????

-The Cig Figs album being 10 months late when there's MAX 5 months between her mentioning it last season and "now"

-So tactical, so late

There's probably a bunch I'm missing since I haven't watched The Seven, but that's what stood out to me so far. Ragh's timeline also feels a little funky to me...

#i dont think it's strange that Aelwyn moved out #she fully doesn't know Jawbone or Sandra Lynn #so I can imagine being in the manor without Adaine was awkward #but middle school teacher isn't a job you typically just roll into #fantasy high junior year #d20 fhjy #fhjy spoilers #why am i the only Time Quangle scholar #or whatever the tag is #aelwyn abernant #time quangle #trackerbees #fabian aramais seacaster #so tactical #so late

[daydreamingleclerc]

something special about june // lauren james au

in which, lauren and her housemate-turned-girlfriend sports journalist come out on instagram during pride month 🤍

includes; slight sexual content, swearing, wlw content !

this is something v different for me! but i’ve been so in my lauren feels lately i cannot help myself. who knows. i might even write something to deepen this AU further! inspired by this article about jess carter and ann-katerin berger! enjoy xx

DISCLAIMER: i am in no way shape or form suggesting that lauren is bisexual or gay by posting this. this is simply just a form of fiction and i do not mean any harm. pictures were found on instagram and pinterest and all rights are to their original owners.

*

yn✔️

liked by samanthakerr20, chelseawfc, masonmount and 12,702 others

yn say cheese 😁😚❤️

tagged: laurennjjames

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samanthakerr20 yn this is the gayest jumper i’ve ever seen

yn took notes from you clearly x

laurennjjames ❤️😚

yn 🥰❤️

ldnpride oh my god are you two…

yn lauren’s wearing a leather jacket and i’m wearing a jumper straight out of 1946 do the math x

laurennjjames ✔️

ibiza, spain

liked by yn, samanthakerr20, reecejames and 30,957 others

laurennjjames winning on and off the pitch, clearly 😍

tagged: yn

comments on this post are limited

yn i’d like to point out i got my hair done at the hotel hair salon

yn just incase ppl are confused by my hair change midway through this dump

laurennjjames i’m more concerned about the amount of people thirsting over your arse

yn don’t post it then u silly sausage

kmewis19 yn is packing in that first pic

yn do you like it 😼

yn ✔️

liked by laurennjjames, leahwilliamson, naomischiff and 34,729 others

yn wonder if we’ve beaten the just friends allegations now x

tagged: laurennjjames

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laurennjjames lesbian!

yn i know u are but what am i x

laurennjjames a glorified bisexual 🤨

lew.mount put some clothes on

yn don’t tell me what to do

benchilwell you guys are NEVER going to beat the just friends allegations 🤣🤣

yn we could release a sex tape and we still wouldn’t beat the just friends allegations

reecejames how do i burn my eyes 😃

bethanyengland4 you two are so cute🥹

yn thanks bethy ❤️

laurennjjames✔️

liked by yn, samanthakerr20, jesscarter and 108,638 others

laurennjjames i remember when she thought she was straight until she saw me in a towel.. happy birthday to my favourite cougar ❤️

tagged: yn

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yn cougar?! i’m 2 years older than you watch ur mouth LJ.

laurennjjames yeah babe that makes you a cougar 🤨

yn love you really 🫶🏼

laurennjjames love you too foxy lady

samanthakerr20 funny how loz and i are thé youngest ones in our relationships yet we’re the ones you answer to🤨 happy birthday yn 🤣🔥

kmewis19 you’re so evil

yn that was so uncalled for samantha sleep with one eye open tonight.

chelseawfc HBD yn 😋💙

reecejames happy birthday yn 🥂💙

yn✔️

liked by laurennjjames, mbrighty04, leahwilliamson and 103,793 others

yn lauren cant answer ur call rn cause she’s busy reecejames

tagged: laurennjjames

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reecejames how do i bleach my eyeballs

reecejames no ew wtf i can’t look at this

kmewis19 you two are the WORST

yn nothing wrong with a lil PDA 🫶🏼

amberrosegill stealing this pose for me and jen

yn ur welcome x

laurennjjames ✔️

liked by yn, leahwilliamson, reecejames and 60,738 others

laurennjjames life lately 📸(ft the missus)

tagged: yn

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yn wow

yn that first pic 🥰👍🏼😍🔥

yn seriously you make me so 🥰🥹

yn god.

laurennjjames okay love don’t embarrass yourself x

yn can i just say the difference in my rack compared to lauren’s is very very amusing to me

laurennjjames i love your rack

yn i 🫶🏼 ur ironing board too ig

samanthakerr20 🔥🔥

mbrighty04 fashion is unmatched

yn ✔️

lake como, italy

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yn the one where the lesbians went to italy and got kicked out of an art gallery for snogging

tagged: laurennjjames

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laurennjjames why’d you have to post the pic of you in the green dress 🤤🤤🤩

yn bc i love it when you get all mushy

laurennjjames i don’t think mushy is the word you’re looking for 😍😼

samanthakerr20 is that…. yn in JEANS?!?!

yn it was a one off and it’s never going to happen again.

#lauren james #instagram au #wlw au #footballer blurb #footballer x you #footballer x yn #footballer x reader #footballer x y/n #footballer imagine #footballer au #football au #football #football imagine #football blurb

[michinnyun]

Fashion Choices

Pairing: Steven Grant x f!Reader, Marc Spector x f!Reader

Summary: You've been giving Steven a hard time about his wardrobe lately. It's not that you don't like when he wears a collared shirt on top of another collared shirt, you just want him to try new things. Then him and Marc decide to tease you about it. Big mistake. Huge. // Chapter 1 is only with Steven. Chapter 2 will be for Marcy-Marc

Tags: Sharing Clothes × Lingerie × Teasing × Established Relationship × Pure Smut × Sub Steven Grant (Marvel) × If You Squint × Dom/sub Undertones × Masturbation × p in v × Enthusiastic Consent × Breeding Kink × No use of y/n × Woman on Top × for the majority of it lol × Multiple Orgasms × Unprotected Sex × Rough Sex

Words: 2.8k

Ao3 link

Steven has a lot of collared shirts. Like, a lot of them.

“You dress like a lesbian,” you tell him one day, laughing when you see that he's layered one of his button ups on top of another collared shirt.

He scoffs. “I can’t believe you just said that to me during Pride month.”

He manages to dodge the book thrown at his head, but he isn't able to dodge your questions after that.

“Why did I find another collared shirt in your bag?” you ask, showing him the reusable bag he'd brought to the shop earlier that day.

He pouts. “That’s for Marc.”

You can’t help but smile at him. He’s adorable. “Nice try. Marc almost exclusively wears crew necks.”

He doesn't meet your eyes. “Jake, then.”

“Jake dresses like a newsie in 1920’s New York.”

Steven groans. “Would you deny me my comforts, woman?” He pulls you into his lap, peppering kisses to your face that make you scream and laugh, trying to escape.

“I just want you all to try branching out!”

His eyes roll back into his head, Marc staring back at you now, intense as always. “Why would we want to do that?” he asks, pressing searing hot kisses into your neck.

The sudden shift in persona and mood makes you dizzy. You don't know if you'll ever get used to them doing that.

You gasp softly, grabbing onto the crinkly-soft fabric of Steven-Marc's starchy shirt.

“Marc,” you murmur, letting him trail a hand down your side. You haven't seen him in a while, and he’s clearly happy to see you, based on the way he's insistently pressing himself into you.

“Baby,” he mumbles back, licking a line up your neck to your earlobe, a white hot spike of arousal shooting down to your clit. You arch against him, letting him lift you and press you into the table, his hand riding up your shirt and teasing a nipple. You can feel how wet he’s making you, the way only your boys can. He laces your fingers together and kisses the back of your hand, ducks down to kiss your neck again-

Then, he stills. “Anyway, lots of work to do today, love. Better hop to it!”

Steven pulls away from you and grabs his stuff, leaving you stunned and frustratingly horny as he heads towards the door.

“W-wh-” you stutter.

“Don’t question my fashion choices!” he shouts, letting the door shut behind him. You narrow your eyes, huffing.

Oh, he’s in for it now. __

Your boys aren't coming over until later. It’s been two days since the Steven-Marc situation, and you won’t even let them sext you. The moment anything remotely sexual starts up, you shut it down. They’re getting restless. Steven especially. He’s always been particularly needy.

The boutique owner had been terribly nice when you'd explained your situation (minus the “my boyfriends’s’s are a superhero/Avatar/legendary warrior with multiple personality disorder” detail). You’d picked out the prettiest piece together, a delicate lace thing with more modest coverings for your private areas. Something that would drive Steven perfectly crazy.

“If I’ve done my job right, this won't survive the night,” she promised.

You’re slightly fidgety. You've never worn something this complicated before. Nothing for the express purpose of getting fucked.

It doesn't matter, really. Your boys can't resist you. That’s what's going to make this so much fun.

One of Steven’s many button ups is covering your lingerie, which had taken twenty minutes of cursing for you to put on. It’s a soft, purple shirt, your personal favorite. He’d been wearing it the first time you met.

You’re reading a book, or trying. You’ve been skimming the same page over and over in nervous anticipation ever since you got the text he’s almost at your flat.

He knocks on the door, and you answer in nothing but his shirt, your hair done in the way you know he loves. He always makes a comment when you wear it like this, so you made sure it was perfect before he came over.

He kind of just stares at you for a minute, taking you in. Then, something happens, something you've only seen a few times before. They start fighting over the body.

“I don’t- she clearly. This is- Marc. Steven. You-Why d-I- Jake, if you don't- Why can’t I, guys-”

He’s saying this all softly, eyes closed in concentration. You don't want to touch him. You don't want him to have a panic attack, and then have your attempt at revenge/seduction turn into something traumatic.

Finally, he settles, and Steven looks at you with wide, wet eyes.

“Is this- for me?” He swallows hard, looking at the way the fabric drapes over your body, just a little too big for you. You nod sweetly, leading him to bed.

He lies back at your insistence, staring up at you in awe as you straddle him, smiling teasingly.

His hand starts to slide up your thigh, but you swat at it.

“No touching,” your murmur, starting to unbutton yourself for him. He nods, swallowing again.

As the beginnings of your surprise are revealed, you realize he might not be the only one who has a problem with this no touching rule.

They’re fighting over the body again.

“If you’d just- Steven, look at her, I can’t- Stop.” Steven says firmly. You quirk an eyebrow.

“Everything alright in there?”

He nods, looking slightly miffed. “Just- you look really, really good, love. Really good. Don’t feel like sharing right now.”

You blush, then wiggle a little. Steven hisses, clenching his hands into fists. Fuck, he's already hard.

He whines when you finish unbuttoning the shirt, letting the fabric pool at your elbows, letting him drink his fill of your new outfit.

He’s slack jawed, mindlessly moving his hips against you. “Fuck,” he whimpers, letting the word trail off into a growl that ends deep in his throat.

His hands are getting fidgety, so you take the opportunity while he’s distracted to grab onto his wrists and pin them next to his head.

“You’re right Steven,” you purr. “I do actually like your shirts. Maybe I’ll wear them more often.”

He throws his head back, groaning. “I knew that's what this was bloody about, you little minx.”

You laugh, grinding down again bodily and making him gasp.

“That’s what you get for being a fucking tease. You can touch when I’m done with your punishment.”

If Steven’s eyes weren't so dark, you're sure you'd be able to see how his pupils are blown wide with lust. He looks ravenous, depraved. You haven't even kissed him.

“Yes,” he murmurs, even as he struggles against your grip.

You let him go, and hum happily when his hands stay in place.

You unbutton his pants, licking your lips as you pull out his cock, hard and leaking for you. You smear a pearl of precome weeping from the tip, relishing the sounds he makes.

You lean down, letting the crotch of your lingerie grind over his hard length. “You’re so mean to me sometimes, Steven. Just wanted to be a little mean back. Give you a taste of your own medicine.”

He whimpers. “Not trying to be mean. Just-just-”

“Just?” you ask, slowing down until he gasps and his hands twitch.

“Just wanted to prove a point,” he finishes lamely, arching his back so he can press up into you. You tsk at him, but allow it.

“Wanna take this off, pretty boy?” you ask, running your hands over the lace covering your plush breasts.

He nods frantically, craning his neck up so he can see a little better, get a little closer. You push him down with one hand, increasing the friction on your clit while you press a chaste kiss to his mouth.

“Later. Good boys get to undress me,” you hum, grinding down and chasing the rush of him pressing against your most sensitive spot. His eyes flutter shut, finally surrendering to you.

“Steven,” you murmur, kissing the corner of his mouth, traveling down his neck and sucking marks into his skin.

He grunts a response, too far gone to really answer you. You leave your tongue over the salt-heat of him, listening to his rattling breaths and stuttering heartbeat.

“You’re doing so good,” you murmur against his neck. “My good boy.”

His hips jerk violently against you, and you stop moving completely. He freezes.

“I’m sorry,” he says frantically, but it's too late.

“Nope,” you say, popping the p. You spread your legs, hovering over him and moving your panties to the side so you can rub your clit.

Steven’s mouth hangs open, devastated yet unbelievably turned on.

“Now you get to watch me come,” you say, gathering some of the wetness leaking from his tip to soften the friction. “And you can't do anything about it.”

He whines, shutting his eyes closed and growling in frustration. You spread yourself wider, letting your legs rest on the tops of his thighs.

Steven loves making you come. With his mouth, his fingers, his cock. Masturbating in front of him is still hot, but it frustrates him more than anything that he’s not the one making you feel good. Little does he know, the sight of him all hot and bothered is usually what gets you there faster. Like right now.

You feel it starting to bubble up, a deliciously warm orgasm that you’ve been depriving yourself of for days since the shirt incident. It takes a little while, but you finally peak, your fingers bringing you to completion at the sight of Steven Grant, helpless and completely distraught underneath you.

You lean forward until you're burying your face in his neck again, your thigh muscles still contracting pleasantly.

Steven hesitates, his hands moving from where they're meant to be to gently hold your waist. You purr, nuzzling into him so he knows he has permission. You're much more agreeable now that you know he’s suffered sufficiently enough.

He kicks his pants off the rest of the way, still gentle, careful not to disturb you in your good mood. You move a little, unbuttoning his shirts until the smooth expanse of his chest is warm under your palm.

“We’re matching,” you murmur happily. He chuckles nervously, one hand moving to cup the lace covering your bottom.

“This for me?”

You nod. “Don’t question my fashion choices,” you say, nipping at his ear lobe.

“Of course not. Never,” he says, running a hand over your garter belt appreciatively.

He reaches behind to move your panties aside, dipping shaking fingers into the wetness you’ve made for him. “Fuck,” he whispers, practically throbbing against you.

“You can go ahead,” you tell him, yawning. “Want you to. Want you inside, Steven.”

“Fuck,” he says a little louder, grabbing his cock where it's trapped between your bodies and sliding it between your legs to bring it home.

He lets out a breath he's been holding in, and you bloom under his fingers, legs widening to accommodate his girth. You’ve had enough teasing, and it looks like Steven has too.

He fucks you at a brutal pace, whining and gasping into your hair while you press sloppy kisses into his jaw.

“So good,” you whisper, encouraging him. “So good. My Steven.”

“I- hah, love you. Fuck.” The easy glide of him inside you isn't enough to make you come again quite yet, but you give a valiant effort. You suck at the tender spot under his ear, the one you know drives him crazy, and his hips stutter.

“Pretty girl, wearing my clothes and putting on nice things. Don’t deserve you, do I? So good to me,” he murmurs into your ear, one arm holding you close while he uses his other hand to push down on your lower back, using you as his little cocksleeve.

“Steven,” you gasp, grinding down harder onto him until you feel blissfully over sensitive, the fabric of his shirts rubbing against your skin while he fucks you hard, the way he’s been waiting to for days.

He groans out your name before he bites down on your neck. You mewl, bearing down on him before you sit back so you can ride Steven properly. He hangs onto your thighs for dear life as you move in earnest, pulling off him fully before slamming back down onto the length of him.

He brings his hands up to cup at the intricate lace designs covering your breasts, snapping the strap of your bra before he thrusts into you so hard that you can feel him in your guts.

“Fuck, can’t get enough of this little pussy,” he says, watching himself disappear into your tight heat. He moves a hand down, pressing a thumb to your abused clit and making you black out a little.

“S-Steven,” you stutter, no longer able to conjure competent speech, not when he touches you like that.

“Yeah, you like it when I touch you? Should’ve let me earlier. Even if you were mad at me,” he rambles, rubbing tight circles that make pleasure travel up your spine.

“Wasn't mad,” you whine. “Just wanted r-revenge. And I-I-” You can’t think about anything other than Steven’s hands on you, bringing you to the precipice of another sorely needed orgasm.

“I know, love,” he coos. “You got what you wanted. Now let me get mine.”

Your head tips back a little before Steven pulls one of the cups of your bra down, sitting up and sucking a pert nipple into his mouth. Your chest is still criss-crossed by straps and covered in lace, and Steven is clearly frustrated by the extra covering which he had found so sexy earlier.

“Steven,” you say breathlessly. “Gonna come again, I-”

“It’s okay,” he mouths against your skin. “You can come. Come all over my cock, love. Wanna feel it.”

He flicks his tongue against your tight bud, and you’re overwhelmed by sensation. Just a little-

You reach your hand down to give your clit a little more attention, and finally your second orgasm of the night claims you.

You milk Steven, making him choke and moan against you as your head tilts back and you cry out into the empty apartment.

Then Steven does something that you didn’t expect. He rips your panties off of you.

“Steven,” you gasp, despite remembering what the boutique owner had said about your outfit not lasting the night. “Those were expensive.”

He flips you over, pulling out and rubbing his cock between your folds. “I'll buy you a new pair,” he says, melding his mouth to yours before he pushes in again.

If you thought he was giving it his all before, you were mistaken. Steven’s fucking you at a punishing, brutal pace, pulling at the straps of your lingerie until one by one they all snap off of you and you’re left bare in nothing but shredded lace and his button-up.

You whine, the result of two orgasms making Steven’s conquest an easy slide. Your eyes roll back into your head a little. He’s relentless, insatiable, biting the meat of your bottom lip and licking into your mouth, fucking you so well that you know you’re going to be thinking about it for weeks.

“Can’t get enough of you,” he stutters. “I’m never going to get enough of you. Fuck. Fuck. I-I’m gonna-”

“Come in me,” you beg. “Steven, Steven, come inside.”

He looks into your eyes. “You want me to come inside? Fill you up? B-breed you?”

You wrap your legs around his back and pull him closer into you, making the angle deeper. He groans, wet sloppy sounds accompanying his increasingly quickening thrusts.

“Come in me, Steven,” you kiss his cheek. “Come in me. Breed me. Please, please.”

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-”

He pulses inside you, coming hard like you've been daydreaming he would for the past few days. You kiss the side of his head while he buries his face into your shoulder. “Perfect,” you whisper. “Perfect boy.”

He whimpers, still not relenting in filling you. You’re a little surprised. This is the longest an orgasm has ever lasted for Steven. You must’ve taken a lot out of him.

When he’s finally finished, he lets out a big sigh. You rub his back, nuzzling into him and wrapping your arms around his neck, trying to stretch out the moment as much as you can.

“Will you leave me alone about my wardrobe now?” he says into your neck, slightly muffled. You laugh.

“Sure. Only if you promise to wear a t-shirt once in a while.”

He groans. “Deal.”

#REMINDER THAT IM A GAY PERSON BTW #so no one come for me abt that joke in the beginning please and thank you #if you have not been making this joke all month then i'm sorry i don't know what to tell you #anyway happy pride month #my fic #moon knight 2022 #moon knight #oscar isaac #steven grant x you #steven grant smut #steven grant x reader #steven grant #marc spector #marc spector x reader

[kndrules]

HIII I'M VERY CURIOUS AS TO WHAT DISABILITIES MENTAL AND PHYSICAL EVERYONE IN SECTOR V HAS AS ADULTS EVEN IF UNDIAGNOSED??? If they have anything specific... I've seen you guys post about it but it was awhile ago and headcanons can change over time

And while we're at it - what's the updated LGBTQ+ headcanons?

That's a big question! I love big questions

After thinking about it, I have less disability headcanons than I realized I did. I feel certain everyone's got more health stuff going on, especially later in life, than I'm accounting for here. This is just what I actively think about

Disability Headcanons

Everyone is Sector V is autistic, but it looks completely different for all of them. Wally and Kuki have the highest support needs of the group, and they're the only two who were in special education classes growing up (a situation where some of their school day is spent in gen ed and some is spent in special ed). Hoagie and Abby are particularly double gifted.

Nigel- Undefined chronic pain that develops in his young adulthood. He starts using mobility aids after he gets out of prison. It's largely joint and back related. He probably also has some long term problems from concussions. Also OCD and PTSD.

Hoagie- this question made me realize I don't have much for hoagie! I like your headcanons, though. I think they start to develop memory problems in their late 30s, and their eyesight is JUST bad enough to disqualify them from becoming a pilot, which is why being a KND pilot is especially important to them

Kuki and Wally- I'm putting them together cuz I think they're similar in a lot of ways. They both also have ADHD and learning disabilities. Wally has dyslexia and dyscalcula

Abby- Another character that I don't have much for, but I like your headcanons! She definitely has PTSD

LGBT Headcanons

Nigel- Nonbinary bisexual, he/she pronouns

Hoagie- Nonbinary transfemme bisexual, they/she pronouns

Kuki- Trans woman pansexual and polyamorous, she/her

Wally- Trans man bisexual, he/him

Abby- Nonbinary lesbian, any pronouns

[mamawasatesttube]

For the ask game: R, T, and V!

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

oohh toughie!! many good options. i think lately i've been feeling sooo compelled over what postcrisis kon & kara could've had if flashpoint hadn't happened and they'd actually gotten time and on-page space to develop their relationship (SHE WAS WEARING HIS GLASSES...) but also i'm like. so emo about kon & roxy every time i think about them.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

kon-el is a gay man with a huge case of comp het and i will die on this hill!!!! this guy has Never had an actual good and compelling relationship with a woman. he got groomed twice over and then he dated a lesbian because they both thought well, we're a guy and a girl who care about each other and enjoy each other's company and this is what we're supposed to do, right? koncassie was comp het all the way down for BOTH of them. kon has never actually experienced attraction to women he just fabricated a whole lot of it bc he looked at all the media implanted in his head and was like ahh so this is how teenage boys are supposed to be? got it ill do that!

hero cruz coming out to him and then dating leander started opening his eyes about things but very very slowly. he doesn't figure any of this out until after his resurrection. <3

V - Which character do you relate to most?

man that's also hard, i don't really tend to pick characters i relate to that hard bc i need a little distance or it feels TOO personal dgkahdks but that being said, there's definitely a reason i adore serling roquette and zoanne wilkins. the socially awkward/shy nerd girl who really likes science and doesn't always know how to make friends with people... yeah that was me in high school so i have Quite A Fondness for them both. <3

alphabet ask game!

#nikrei #answers #thank u nik!!!

[possibilistfanfiction]

i love that you've been making a lot of ur avatrice fics a subtle (or very UNSUBTLE) ode to mascs/butch lesbians. and an ode to being queer in general. i think my fave things to read lately have been works like that; where the characters aren't just queer, but happy to be queer, relieved to be queer, or saved by being queer. and in terms of gender expression and queerness its something that i've had a hard time reconciling with myself, but the way you explore it through bea is refreshing and helpful for me, someone who's been out for 8 years and still sweats when deciding what shirts to buy myself, or sometimes how to even just walk when i go outside

honestly i never know what like general reactions will be but everyone has been so lovely! i think it's like — fundamentally so important to me that bea was never ever made to be femme! like canonically she's attractive to women in the show!! she has her little slacks!! & she's not like masc/butch explicitly but at the same time i'm like... she's never gotten to choose for herself either! & maybe she would! she could if she wanted! a little knight at the campfire, you know

& yah it's hard!! i've been out for over a decade & have gotten to have top surgery & be in a generally v safe & queer city + a wonderful marriage & community & like... i still cry over pants!! it's hard to be in a world that wasn't built for you, no matter how happy it is

BUT that being said yes to me queerness is the holiest thing in the whole world!! like whew, queerness DOES save the world; it is a relief & it is a joy & it is a miracle!

& i think, for me, at least, when i write bea, it's rly important to use the word lesbian for sure, but i also think like... there is something so so so beautiful about butches & dykes!!! & at least part of my journey has been falling in love with those words & that history & that deep joy. so in my fics i love writing bea getting to have some of that freedom & healing very specifically around like... not being femme!! she's a lesbian!!! maybe one day she would love the word dyke & all the gentle power it has held for so long. i don't really want it to be subtle bc i don't actually think after a few years of therapy & the world's most enthusiastic partner that bea would ever want anyone to think she's straight lol

& like god... i made myself emotional w a suit or a pair of pants & an older dyke where u just are like... oh. i can exist like this, so happy & so myself & so loved, for so long. & ava is wonderful so it's just kind of lovely to imagine bea just like... getting a masc haircut w the full freedom to love it or hate it bc ava is just :) i love you!!!!! & bea has never gotten to see if she would even Like that on herself before. bea trying on men's ("men's") clothes, picking out cologne bc she likes the way it smells better than perfume, etc etc etc. & in addition to her little button downs & slacks like... what would she want to wear during a lazy day at home? what would she want to wear to brunch on a sunday morning? ava is just in love so there's so, so many choices that open up to her!! she gets to just settle into what makes her happy & all the ways that's fluid & graceful & changing, none of which are defined by expectations of shutting the queer part of yourself off. all the beautiful expansiveness of queerness & this really gorgeous masculinity that's just There to explore. idk, it's wonderful lol & i feel like that freedom is just, for me, really nice to get to write. obviously if other ppl feel differently, that's also totally cool, but yeah, soft butch beatrice in all those variations forever

#give beatrice a hoodie 2k23 #honestly i feel like any aesthetic bea has or explores ava is so into lol

[landwriter]

currents 🌊

Tagged by @carnelianmeluha and @sleepsonfutons!

Current time: 9:29 PM

Current mood: bleary, pleased, vaguely optimistic

Current activity: am more soup* than person today so literally just been existing. (*and NOT a vichyssoise let me tell ya)

Currently thinking about: lesbians, beds, lesbian beds; the level of skill it takes to get a sinus headache in the middle of summer; having a late dinner through the sheer power of thinking about it very hard; cancelling enrollment in two summer classes that start tomorrow to work on Other Projects instead; needing to buy aerial straps still, do my biz bookkeeping, and put the blueberries and peonies in the ground; half-formed travel plans and road trips; baby shower gifts; maybe doing a shoot tomorrow morning &c. or: the usual dull roar of adhd <3<3<3

Current favourite character: hob gadling ofc

Current favourite song: v fave song agnostic but Lucius' Million Dollar Secret has been rotating in my head for months. could also do Blue Swede's Hooked on a Feeling at karaoke from memory rn

Currently reading: haven't started/bought it yet but need to read The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo for my book club with the girlies in (checks notes) less than 48 hours. will be hella currently reading that tomorrow probably haha oh god it's 400 pages ope

Currently watching: sorry for sounding insufferable but ~the night falling outside~ i'm sorry, i don't super do shows ahahah. need to watch bound (1996) though!! maybe as a treat if i make it thru this week

Current wips: secret big project, even more secret (non-fandom!) project, oaths coda once those two are done, then in no particular order: retired!dream thing about betraying bodies and queer sex, the 70s san francisco au aka lighthouses, the accidental actual lighthouse au ft gothic romance and monsterfucking, 80s noir thriller Just Like Love sequel

tagging, with no pressure at all: @moorishflower @fishfingersandscarves @softest-punk @broomsticks @historyandqueershenanigans & anyone who wants to give us a status update

#tag game #currently

[usertiff]

TLDR: no rent money, last time i was late w rent by 2 days i got an eviction notice, my cat needs urgent medical help, i’m out of work due to severely debilitating pain. extremely disabled, indigenous lesbian desperately in need of help. also a paragraph about how much i am sorry

my friend said, “nah bestie asking for help isn't shameful in any way. there's strength in knowing what you need,” but i still feel like crud

i am literally sobbing as i post this because i just feel... i feel like a loser, i feel worthless, i feel so many emotions right now because i’m so terrified and tired of asking for help. i’m terrified of people just being sick of me because i’ve needed help before, and i don’t know. i would never shame anyone else for needing help, and i know realistically it shouldn’t be shameful, but i personally feel shame because i feel like a failure. i feel like a loser/worthless/failure because of something that’s completely out of my control, and yet, the feeling is still there. i’m exhausted. i’m exhausted from being in this stressful, urgent situation. so i’m sorry. i’m so sorry i’m asking for help again, i’m so sorry. i feel horrible, i really do. i feel guilty for needing help. i feel sick. i’m trying not to, and i’m trying not to cry, but i’m typing this through very blurry vision rn.

as i’ve mentioned on my blog, i’ve been out of work due to severe chronic pain. i was able to work through my other disabilities. narcolepsy, my shitty mental health auDHD/bipolar, etc. but this chronic pain has been completely fucking debilitating. medical fatphobia tw incoming: i saw a neurosurgeon today and they won’t give me surgery because of “my weight being a risk for post-op complications, such as stitch rips”, so i just have to deal with the pain until i can lose enough they’ll operate on me ????????? i dont know what the hell i’m going to do........... this sucks so fucking bad i just wanna go back to work i hate living like this

my fiance needs her wisdom teeth removed really badly, but we had to cancel her appointment because the money we saved for it had to go to our cat.

possible animal death tw: my cat has bladder stones now................................. last time he had stones it costed almost $1k in surgery. the bladder stones will kill him if not treated, because toxins build up in the body and if he cannot pee... just sldfksldfkj i don’t wanna talk about it. he’s miserable. 

i’m going to have to dip in to our rent money, which was actually our tax money because i’ve not been working so tax money was our saving grace this past month, to keep taking him to the vet. however, last time i was late on rent just 2 days, they gave us an eviction notice and only 7 days to come up with rent. that was a fucking disaster. so i’m TERRIFIED!!!!!!!

i need help so bad. with just surviving being out of work, and now my cat... i’m super annoyed because i was desperate to get my baby sister a doll for her birthday but there’s no way that’s happening now. 

anyway, i’m sorry. i’m sorry for everything. i’m sorry i need help. i’m sorry if you’re sick of seeing me on your dash for like the 3rd time needing major help.

i have set up a gofundme here https://www.gofundme.com/f/uwkhj-help-my-family-survive?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cf+share-flow-1

however, if you’d prefer to donate directly, due to the fact that gofundme takes a big portion of funds, here are my accts:

pypl: [email protected], v: @oraclelauren (3177), ca: $selinaaakyle

every donation is going to be greatly appreciated, and i promise to pay the kindness forward in every little way that i can

please don’t put yourself out to help, but if you can help, my heart goes out to you with forever gratefulness 

#i am so exhausted #donations #gofundme #lgbt donations #idk what to tag #im so scared #my heart is pounding i feel so sick i just feel guilty for needing help #i know i shouldn't but i just do :sob:

[vegaseatsass]

GAP the Series ep 5 thoughts (spoilers!!)

WANNA SUCK MOUTH !!!

Gonna rush through this post b/c we watched late and I gotta go to bed, but it's still VERY important to me to journal my way through this show, because, wow wow wow WOW, this show, dude.

Wanna suck mouth!!!

Wanna suck mouth.

Seriously though. The mouths, the lips, the lip-biting, the pen-biting, the teeth, the lipssss, the queer lady gaze of it all. Hottest first kiss I've seen maybe ever??, while simultaneously the most joyful and character-specific. Extremely good stuff.

But besides the absolute sexy excellence of all things Lips in the episode, the crux of this week for me was Mon's demand that Sam be direct, stop giving her a headache from trying to interpret all her opaque Sam-isms... and Sam demanding the same thing of Mon. Both because 1) I love the acknowledgment that graceful social butterfly Mon is probably just as confounding to Sam as vice versa - they communicate differently, not unevenly, and there's a point about neurotypical vs. neuroatypical communication to be made here, but basically it's not that either of them isn't trying, with all her smitten might, to understand and make herself understood AND 2) we got so many clear-cut examples throughout the episode of Sam doing the absolute most to be direct, before Mon ever requested it of her. "Some married man 😤 was flirting by sending you stickers? I sent you stickers!!!" "What is your favorite facial feature of mine? Jsyk my favorite of yours is LIPS. Can I BITE THEM." Lol she was pulling out all the stops!! I just feel like for the first time we really see the layer of the relationship where Sam is trying to express her feelings for Mon, trying to shout them from the rooftops even, but she's not being heard, and it isn't solely because she's repressed and socially awkward but because you put "I, your vaunted idol, want to fuck nasty" in Mon's face and Mon will find an "innocent" explanation to hear instead. Idk it's prob too late at night for me to express this well but I just think this show does a lot of really neat nuance work, while remaining impossibly adorable and funny and sexy and entertaining at the same time.

Like I'll try to say this fast but Sam vs. Nop is one of the best dreamiest things I've ever seen fr, and there is so much about how Sam confronted him and tried to set up a chance for Mon to confront him that speaks to what Sam values in communication, and how burdensome and arbitrary she finds social niceties. AND re: nuance work, I loved it because they let Sam make explicit what Nop has been doing, ignoring every single time Mon tells him she's not into him (because she has told him! onscreen!), with an expectation that he can wear her down over time, exploiting the misogynist social role Mon's trapped in. It is so badass that Sam calls that out, it is so badass that the narrative calls that out! I have so much hope and expectation for everything unspoken right now (forbidden workplace romance, fiance?, what Mon's headspace is re: "friends" playing the lip-biting game) because of these sorts of moments. I really believe this series knows what it's doing, has plenty to say and a deft touch when it comes to saying it, and that's exhilarating.

Quick other things: Loved when Sam got jealous of the prawns for stealing her girl's attention. How long before she asks "Would you love me if I was a worm?" and makes herself jealous of Sam the worm...

I just want to do a very clear shout-out to "What is your favorite facial feature of mine? I'll trade you a bite for a bite" as a flirtation strategy. Like I've been calling Sam a disaster lesbian but that is a move.

Laura and I agreed Sam had major Kim Theerapanyakul vibes in the very first scene, showing up to inflict jealous, unnecessary violence against friends, and then yell "Goodbye forever!!!" when questioned on her embarrassing behavior. Luckily for her Mon apparently will always text first :')

I loved Sam's tie necklace. Very sexy.

What other substances can be applied to and then bitten off lips? Let us brainstorm together, tumblr. Ep 1, Ep 2, Ep 3, Ep 4

#gap the series #dear diary #gap the series spoilers

[chipped-chimera]

Okay gimmie a sec I need to scream about being a Lesbian and my frustrations around it as someone signing on late.

Will I post this? Idk. But I'm about to blow a gasket.

I love being lesbian, okay. It's the first time it felt something has FIT properly. It's like when I got my Autism diagnosis - suddenly everything has context and MAKES SENSE. It feels like HOME.

But the more I learn about history in terms of wlw, and look around for representation and shit now that I FINALLY got where I am ... the more depressed I get. In a way, being bisexual was easier. It was easy to find rep. To feel rep. People were generally defensive of the label, stamped out Pan/Bi discourse most of the time and defended it loudly and with pride! I was happy in that label at the time, though it wasn't for me in the end. I felt safe. Validated. Accepted.

Lesbians? I feel like the label has been a battleground since the moment I stepped foot into it. I am seeing conversations swung around with all the grace and sharp edges of a mediaeval flail with the complete disregard of healthy boundaries others have, which again - knowing the HISTORY of how lesbianism has been interpreted over time is just ... it's misogyny in another coat. Whether internalised or intentional it is still here and it is still damaging. I sit here wondering why it's okay to have gay exclusive or trans exclusive or bi exclusive spaces but if a Lesbian tries to create one it is absolutely BATTERED for being 'exclusionary'. I mean, I know why it's like this. It's the fucking TERFs. The TERFs poisoned the water. So now a lot of lesbians feel compelled to open spaces to all as an assurance to keep them out, and in turn that is isolating. I desperately search around for people to relate to, to help navigate this world I've come into so late: I am lost, I need help, I am so isolated and alone.

And I can't find anything. Or its few and far between. I have to sift through walls and walls of experiences that while valid, are not mine. They don't help. I see lesbians getting attacked for expressing their pain over things like this, that lesbian bars are on the decline. I see headlines about a women exclusive bar as part of a temporary art exhibition being taken to court in my country by some man who filed for discrimination. I read the history of Lesbians in the American West, poorly documented as it is, that 'Lesbians had it better' than gay men because 'romantic friendships' were normalised between women - because no one believed a relationship could be 'real' unless a man was involved. Kissing and sleeping with your female friend was fine - you were just expected to 'grow up' and eventually conform to the patriarchal society structure of getting married and having children. Only men could become permanent 'confirmed bachelors'. The top Reddit related to lesbians is for porn. That objectification even invades the lesbian tag here, on a site where NSFW content has nearly been completely expunged. I know it's shit like this, way back in the 2000s was the reason I just could not accept being lesbian. I couldn't see myself in it because it was so objectified and the thought of 'engaging' in it felt gross. And it feels disgusting now.

I grew up in an environment where Lesbianism was considered something people did for attention or clout, to become more attractive to men. I see posts even now of angry lesbians venting about being predated on by bisexual women, who only mention way later that their 'boyfriend is feeling left out :('. So while it's not as bad as it was, it's still there. It's just now no longer AS socially acceptable.

So I think I understand why it took me so long. I think my mind was trying to protect me from all of this. Because although being Lesbian feels like home, I feel even more invisible. Bisexuals always were joking about being 'invisible', but as a Lesbian I feel like I don't even exist. I'm on another plane of reality. If I try to stick my head out there and make myself visible I am shamed, ridiculed, second guessed, invalidated. I see it happening everywhere, every damn day.

I see it in the shitty wlw fic ratio in nearly every fandom on Ao3. I see it in Lesbian Day of Visibility being so quiet on Tumblr that I missed it. I see it in the comments section of a relationship columnist who also came to her own realisation about being lesbian late, being told she 'just needs to find the right man' to fuck her right, she's not a lesbian! Fucking a man is the solution - even though she was married and in a het relationship for years. Even as she fights back with studies showing how wide the gender orgasm gap is.

Everywhere I turn, I am told I am not valid. That my opinions don't matter. That my preferences aren't real because a man isn't involved in some way, and it's only for THEIR entertainment when it is acceptable. I see lesbian spaces filling with bisexuals and transgender women and little lesbian voices left. I hesitate to write the last sentence because I know of the ire I could invoke by simply stating that.

I love being Lesbian. It feels like home. But I'm in an empty house with cracked windows and if I make the slightest noise someone throws a bottle through the window at me. I feel unsafe, scared, belittled, isolated and so, so fucking alone. I don't feel proud. I almost wish I could go back to being Bisexual. But it doesn't work that way. I can't keep pretending I'm something I'm not anymore, that has taken up and destroyed so much of my life and health over the years. And the idea of going back, trying to bring men back into focus feels physically disgusting. I spent 10 years in a het relationship, I think I gave it a good go and it WASN'T FOR ME. And I shouldn't need to say I have dated or fucked a woman for that to be valid either.

I don't know where I'm going with this. All I know is I feel like shit and I don't even know where or how the find people to help me through this. And it fucking hurts.

#kerytalk #ventposting #lesbian #it is bad lonely isolated lesbian hours #oh also you bet my shite mood contributing to creative block so I can't remedy my problem #by contributing wlw art and fic #is eating me alive and making my mood worse

[seattlesellie]

im 18 and i have quite recently accepted that i am a lesbian! (thx elliewilliams<3)

until lately, i struggle my whole life with comphet, and now that i finally feel at peace with myself about my sexuality. idk what to do?? i’m so afraid to tell people bc i don't want them to see me different or act differently. im also such a LOSER i can’t talk to girls, well i can, but i get so shy and nervous and i can't stop smiling, this so embarrassing!!

btw i love ur stories sm! i’m so happy when is see a new post of u💗

i mean it’s v understandable that you’re nervous to talk to girls esp since u literally just came out !! i say start with coming out to someone that you feel really close with and that you assume will accept you n go from there !! it gets easier 💞💞

#𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 anon 🎀

[jove999]

Spell your url ✧˖°.

Spell out your URL using song titles that can describe your muse/OC, then tag as many people as there are letters in your URL!

Thank you for tagging me @ilikedetectives 😳💕😘 I know It's super late sorry I was busy lol but I love music and I'd love to try this one!

Oh man, Finding songs for my assassin muses? hell yeah It will be fun (Tho My url is very short but I'll try to squeeze in good songs as much as possible)

J Jasmine - jai paul

I Love the Yearnings™ in the lyrics of this song, though the singer is a boy lol. I'd interpret this song as Randvi's yearning for Eivor? I like to think of them as not just wholesome couple with a wholesome mind, I always want to explore the dark and jealous side of randvi's mind and this song kinda matches the vibe? Also what a great song. Yay jai paul

O Only Have Eyes 42 - janelle monae

Bruh This song is about poly relationship and boy do I love my lesbian assissins polycule. I can see this song as about kass x eivor x randvi? Yeah. I want them to have some fun! (Tho the polycules in real life kinda scares me off if I think about it happens to me!!💀💦)! and I love janelle monae... man, HER

V Voodoo Child (Slight Return) - jimi hendrix

Damn, Look at the lyrics. It reminds me of havi right away. The mightiness singer might have feel in this song, Not just the power of moving an actual mountains like a god, But the manipulation they can wield towards people around them like a god. I want havi herself to felt like this all the time. I want her to be (Yes I'll keep calling havi! odin as her) an arrogant and mean and powerful, manipulative god. This lyrics very much fits the vibe of havi. plus This song's guitar riff is crazy (As it should be!)

E Eclipse - Pink floyd

Hehe. Kassandra vibe. She really went through it all in her two thousand years of life, wasn't she. This song feels like a hymn for her life! amazing song. amazing album.

9 9 to 5 - Dolly parton

Bruh This is 😭 This is kass..This is kass You can see the vision, right?? lol She's the oldest salaryman on earth, I've been telling for years. She's working 9 to 5, no overtime pay, Barely a vacation...Where was the union when she needed one...Dolly please save her

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And I think this is it. I know there are two more nines in my url but I want you to understand that my quota for bullshitting has run out for today. I can only bullshitting 5 times a day I need coffee

It was very fun! Feel free to do it yourself, guys. Thank you for reading😁💖

#personal #ask