ok but actual thoughts on the video cuz i need someone to yap to (i am rewatching so these are in chronological order, spoilers obvs):
- Phil's shirt 😍
- honestly these mysterious board game makers (have they ever mentioned the sponsors name? i cba to do my research) are bringing us the best dnp content
- daniel you do not know what actual licorice is, whatever the fuck you have is fake aniseed bullshit, try literally any licorice from iceland (the country not the shop) and you will meet god
- "i'm deleting the channel. fuck...everything!" and "ill sip you" what would 2014 phil lester think of this vocabulary smh phil think of the babies that are watching (i love phwearing and gayness so much)
- genuinely curious if they know these foods are sensory issues for them and not just "not liking something" like you could not force my autistic ass to eat one of my unsafe foods just for a video i admire their strength
- dan 20 minutes passed and you still have the shirt on i want a refund
- "the coconut, the licorice nut" dan's got two nuts in his mouth, everyone. dan's got two nuts in his mouth.
- "we're on top of each other" pics or it didn't happen
- bob pancakes erasure 😞
- "i saw myself as a gif on various gay porn websites" i wanna make a "what were you doing on those websites" joke but there's nothing to joke about cuz he was just being gay and he's open about that now ugh how dare you be comfortable with yourself and ruin my jokes
- the way dan threw that die trying to get a 5 was soooooo
- "why am i so bad at sex" better be in every dnp without context comp from now on
- how the fuck does it only take 200 grapes to make a single bottle of wine what
- "looks like shrek had an accident [...] all of the accidents, every hole." actually you know what, im deleting the channel, fuck everything
- "im gonna call the king" charles (lame answer) or carl (from the game of life), hmm? you gonna ask him to put a king on it again? ew
- "i know, it's an awful soup" aww he hates him
- i'll show you some afterseed. im sorry.
- completely out of nowhere trump hurts my soul holy fuck daniel how could you do this to me? (but also it was a fully rigged game philip you didn't need to read all the answers you bitch)
- ive had djungelvrål i can confirm it tastes like nothing let's be real it's just a bit of salt and then it gets stuck in your teeth. you're serving dramaqueen with sensory issues core and im here for it
- phil he was asking for help and you only joked about helping him 😢 pick the candy out of his teeth with your beak! do you not even love him? (they are so unhinged i wanna cry)
- THE MOTHERFUCKING DRAFT FOR WHAT BITCH I HATE YOU IM GONNA COME TO THE PHOUSE AND STEAL YOUR PHONE AND KILL MONTY THE MOUSE JUST FOR FUN AND READ ALL YOUR TEXTS WITH YOUR HUSBAND YOU STUPID SHIT
- no chocolate cake for you because of his chronic illness? ughhhhhhhh they're in love
- pretty sure the god of the dice is an asexual lesbian phil smh you can't tempt her with sex
- phil's realization and immediately grabbing the pheal for comfort as he sits there in denial oh poor boy
- they call it the pheal 🥺
- im going frame by frame on the bit where phil runs away and wow they have a lot of games from that one mystery sponsor company (again, only a mystery to me because im not about to click a link) and also a bunch of identical ???plushies??? on a shelf above them, do y'all know what these are? part of one of the games?
- im genuinely impressed by how much of that mess phil drank. i would never.
welp those are my thoughts if anyone cares. first phride phonth phideo and nothing i can cross off my bingo card. no hard launch. they are fucking with me specifically.
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The Best
being UK’s number one and having a tension filled rivalry with the number one hero of USA. It makes sense, both country’s population don’t really like eachother. The online discourse on “which hero is best?” is a never ending battle of “you eat beans on toast haha” and “shut up you american prick”
you meet once a year for one week, during an awarding heroes event and every year, you meet in each others private hotel rooms to fuck each others brains out to prove whose really the best, because sparring would probably end up in several damaged buildings and several hospital bills or even a dead body. “this is the safest way” she persuaded you with that vapid naughty look , “whattt, are you scared I might win?”
you didn’t let her get to you though. every year, the violent teeth clashing always ended up with you claiming victory. her cocky hubris attitude dwindling away with each tug of her blonde locks and a vicious bite on whatever part of her body that was the closest and just like that you’d have the number one, omnipotent, supposedly omniscient hero of U fucking SA succumbing to you. her fingers entangle themselves in your hair when you drive up into her with your silicone dick her legs resting on your shoulders and her mouth falls open to gasp out at the immense stretch of your ribbed strap, all the oxygen leaving her lungs. “what’s wrong my love? can’t catch your breath?” the nickname makes her whine even though she knows you’re only messing with her. “Fuck— ah! — youu.” she tries to show at least some defiance but you know for certain she’s throughly enjoying it. “you’re manners are horrible because of course they are.” you speak casually rolling your eyes along with the comment as if you aren’t a few too many inches deep inside of her.
she cuts off your rambling insults with a pull of your hair that brings your mouth onto her lips and has you slowing the pace of your hips into a sweet rut that has her whimpering into your intertwined tongues. You pull away, moving down her body placing gratifying pecks down her collar bone. “m’cumming—” she hurries out resting a panicked hand on your thigh. “already? where are your manners?” you remind her.
“what?— ahn—,” her eyes flicker up into yours when she realises what you’re asking of her, “ohh—fuck you. I’m n—not begging.”
“I guess I’ll have to stop then?”
she swallows whats left of her pride one last time before letting out the most pathetic pleas of, “please please— Oh fuckk— please ugh- let me cum, let me cum— m’cummin”
“And whose the best, hm?” you coo at her,
“Fuck— you are. you— ah!“ you cut her off by leaning your remaining weight on top of her and resting your face in the space between her neck, her legs now almost parallel to her torso as you bend her in half as you pound into her punctuating your point with each of your thrusts. “Yeah thats right.” you say with bared teeth, “I’m the fuckin’—best.” by the end of the night you have her cumming with her teeth sunk deep into the fleshy junction between your neck and shoulder making you wince out in pain. “Ow—fuckk.”
She’s heaving for breath when you get off her body, her hands clinging onto you as you leave the bed to find your clothes. “what. the fuck.” she breathes out. “loser.” you chuckle as you slam the door shut behind you as you leave her hotel room.
at the end of the week, you’re watching her stride towards the woman holding the golden trophy ready to claim the piece of metal marking her as the “Number One Hero of The People.” and makes you scoff because you and her both know who the better hero really is.
A/N: lmfoa i forgot to mention that im british which makes my crush on cathleen a little funnier, also sorry for making you british but its for the plot guys!! tbh i dont really like this but oh well i spent time writing it might aswell post it, no?
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I mean realistically 7 didn't really have that many loose ends either but they managed to make 8 without any issues and the story still made sense as to how it was connected to 7 so like if they do make a like a dragon 9 they will probably do it for a reason and also rgg has some other shit to announce this year somehow (its probably not yakuza related) but there is still that
seven didn't have 'loose ends' in the traditional sense but it (and gaiden) definitely had a lot of interesting pieces left over. though with how those pieces were used in 8 it's not really possible to expand upon those anymore (i.e. akane, the tojo dissolution, bleach japan or the bastardization of it anyway, ebina's mother if we HAVE to include him in the discussion)
there's still the daidoji but idk what rgg's gonna do with them, but if nishitani iii and shishido still kicking is anything, maybe they'll get dragged out of the trenches <- doubt lowkey
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what frustrates me abt the nevers being cancelled is not necessarily the story like it felt sort of complete. complete enough for a season anyway, openings for a second but, like, done
but all the little things like i get why Knitter, you Knit flesh back together it's like stitching but different. but why Stripe? it's the soldier, the brute force (maybe?), the just following orders, good for using your body to protect the more valuable members of the team but nothing more than that ("im not good, im no leader, im not smart, im just a stripe"), why do we call that Stripe, what does that refer to? and the leader i think of the team was Crescent? why do they call people 'gray'. does it really mean entirely the same thing as 'green' bc i dont think so. theres so much abt the future world we could still find out
how did the galanthi...arrive. how did it start. the parallel situation to the victorians getting spored what was the reaction in future-society. when exactly are they?
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