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#legit feel like i dying today
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i really just wanna meet my soulmate so i can suck a dick with so much love
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melonpond · 4 months
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my mom: "I'm surprised you've been able to consistently wake up at 6:30 in the morning to get breakfast before class"
me, who somehow got cursed to feel Bad and Like I'm Going To Pass Out if I skip even half a meal: "haha yeah, well, breakfast is important!"
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lover-of-mine · 9 months
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I'm gonna start this off by saying that this has been ping-ponging around my head like that old dvd screensaver, quicking around and getting more unhinged every time it hit a corner since April. And while this is a meta on the cemetery scene in Death and Taxes, I will be going back and forth in the whole show, so I don't know, buckle up, grab your delusional juice, and come with me if you feel like it.
First thing about that scene is that it tries to make you think about the equine therapy conversation in Dumb Luck.
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They are in a location we have never seen before and probably will never see again, the outfits are similar, and even the circumstances of the conversation could be read as close to each other, considering Eddie wasn't doing well after almost dying, Buck is definitely not handling his death well. I made a way too detailed meta about the cinematography of buddie during Eddie's breakdown era (you can read it if you want more details) but the main thing about the dumb luck conversation is that Eddie is finally letting Buck in after continuously shutting him down when he tried to offer help and that's reflected on the way they filmed the scene, the way they are talking, moving, positioned in the frame. It's about Buck reminding Eddie that there's hope after all. Considering the moment Buck's in, with them alluding to that conversation, you would've expected for them to do a similar thing with Buck, right? That this scene going to give Buck the same type of peace the equine therapy talk gave Eddie.
But it doesn't. One thing that's kind of a pattern with Buck, Eddie, and Eddie reassuring Buck (if you could call 2 scenes a pattern) is that they have Buck looking up at Eddie (I also talked about this in more detail here if you're interested) but that's interesting because of Buck's height, he's the tallest person in the room, so he's not usually looking up at people, but something about Buck as character is that he has the tendency to sit in higher places, so he's always higher, and he even picked a place where he can sleep in a high spot.
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But when he's getting reassurance from other people in his life, they are both usually sitting down, at the same eye level.
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But when he goes to Eddie for reassurance, Eddie is standing up and Buck is sitting down, so Buck is literally looking up at Eddie when he goes to Eddie for advice. And Eddie is always focused on Buck, in Home and Away, Eddie is reasoning with him, and in Recovery Eddie is trying to give Buck what Buck is asking while not pushing his boundaries.
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Why is that relevant here? Well, Buck spends the whole conversation in the cemetery trying to get Eddie to look at him and Eddie spends most of the conversation looking forward so he won't have to.
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And that alone is very interesting because Eddie is always looking at Buck. I could legit put 100 screenshots here to prove it. So the fact that Eddie can't look at Buck here, means something. Because Buck wants Eddie to be on his side, he needs Eddie to tell him he's doing the right thing, but the way he's talking is making Eddie shut down.
Buck wants answers, right? He wants the easy way out. He died, he has feelings about it he doesn't want to deal with, so he's looking for whatever answers he can get so he won't have to. But the way he's talking sounds a lot like the way Eddie talks to him in Kids Today when he drops Christopher off with him before the tsunami. Very you're alive, get over it thing Eddie had going that ended with him literally destroying everything he had. So, like, we know that's not the way to go about near-death experiences, it doesn't end well because the pressure has to go somewhere and let's face it, Buck has never dealt with anything that happened to him ever. He can't just keep moving past the shit he's been through, at some point, that's gonna catch up to him.
But the thing about the actual content of the conversation is the way that Eddie tries to do the thing he usually does, reason with Buck, "been down that road, don't recommend it" or "or you don't know her the way he does" or "now am I allowed to ask how you are", because it's how they work, but Buck shuts him down with the "I feel like she sees me, like she really sees me for who I am" because that threw Eddie off balance in their relationship, in their friendship really, considering they way they showed us buddie from in a flash to mixed feelings, Eddie is trying his best to be someone Buck relies on, the way we've seen him rely on Buck through his trauma recovery. And one thing we see Eddie constantly do is back away so he won't get hurt once things get too intense. He puts space between him and whatever is bothering him, he ran to LA to escape his parents' judgment (and to be closer to Shannon but his parents played a part there), he kept Shannon at arm's length through most of the time she was back in his life before she died, he kept pushing Buck away after the lawsuit, he pushes everyone away really before his PTSD took him down. Dude retreats from the fight if he's not sure and Buck throws him off balance. Because up until this moment, Eddie thinks he's helping, but we see him realize he was wrong and shut down in real time.
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He's still trying, but his thing now is agreeing with Buck. This gif has 11 seconds, black and white because I wanted the whole thing in one gif, but Buck is trying to get a reaction out of him, but Eddie already moved to a whatever you say buddy mode. AND EDDIE JUST WON'T LOOK AT BUCK.
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So Buck wants to know if he's doing the right thing, Eddie is agreeing with him not because he agrees with him but because now he thinks that whatever he's doing is not helping so putting distance between them will be what's best because Buck is getting what he needs somewhere else so he needs to minimize the damage to himself.
And the distance thing is something that stays until the end of the season, because during the first half of 6B, they are together the whole time, mixed feelings being obviously the biggest example, but they made a point of highlighting the fact that they were very close outside the firehouse, just to stop. They were chilling at Buck's loft, they were out and about scheming the fire captain, Buck looked more comfortable at Eddie's than he did in his own place. But then we don't even see them together in the hospital after the bridge. Like, there's s p a c e now.
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And I spent a really long time trying to figure out what was going on with this scene that made such an impression on me, and it's that Buck doesn't sound like someone who believes in what they're saying, he sounds like someone who's justifying themselves and hoping they are doing the right thing. And Eddie doesn't really let him get away with this line of thought, not usually, but he does now, so they leave that conversation with different impressions of how it went. Buck thinks he's right and Eddie is just backing the fuck off.
And a while back it downed on me what other scene this made me think of. And that's the fountain scene in merry ex-mas.
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They are even shot in a similar way, the off-center wide angle, the close-up from a side angle where you can see the other one slightly blurry, the focus of the conversation angled toward the front of the frame, everything happening in an outside location we will never probably see again, the way they are not looking at each other. And the conversation is similar too, I mean, sure they are not talking about dying but it is a big decision in Eddie's life that sounds like Eddie is justifying himself and needs Buck to agree with him. And Buck is agreeing with him, and not talking about it even though we KNOW he has opinions because he kept trying to talk about it with Chimney because Buck doesn't think it's his place to have an opinion and offer it to Eddie. Both scenes sound like they are talking and understanding each other but what the scene is showing us is that they are not.
And something about the way they are pretty much never looking at each other is that it is a way to show they are not seeing eye to eye in a situation, the most extreme example I can think of it is when Eddie drags Buck out of bed in Kids Today because they are pretty much never looking at each other there.
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But to have them face the same direction is a really easy way to make you feel like something is wrong, especially if they are not moving, because if they are standing in the same spot for 3 minutes they could've turned to face each other, but they don't, because the message here is that they are not really seeing each other. And that in a conversation where Buck is talking about being seen by someone else????? Like, come on, that's so on purpose.
I also wanna add a take that's not mine, all credit to @anxieteandbiscuits for putting this particular thought in my head with this post, that's basically about how the "dating someone you rescued? that never ends well" line might also be another justification for why Eddie chooses to stay quiet. Because one thing is true, and that is that buddie do be rescuing each other. And it really sounds like something Eddie would do, to justify to himself not doing something that could make him lose Buck any way he could, because romantic relationships are very unstable, no matter how much you want it to work, how much you love each other, there's a very real level of unpredictability in a romantic relationship that doesn't exist in their friendship. So to imagine him going "the friendship is good, the friendship is what I need, I won't do anything to change that because I don't have to and it probably wouldn't end well with our track record anyway" makes a lot of sense too.
If you made it to here, I love you <3
I have more metas here if you feel like reading more of my brand of insanity.
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hyunjilicious · 1 year
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dog walkers [hwang hyunjin x reader]
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Summary: it wasn't enough that Hyunjin already missed you beyond words, but then he also had to sit down with Felix and reminisce about one of your guys' best dates and make everything worse. (FLUFF) 2.2k + texts
Warnings: none except for hyunjin being absolutely adorable and this being completely self indulgent and not edited ❤️ (also pls ignore the fact that halfway through this I forgot how time zones work, just go with it. Thanks 😖)
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"What's my ideal date…" Felix hummed, scrolling through one of the online quizzes his phone recommended. It was the middle of summer, the intolerable heat of Seoul's July forbidding any of the boys from leaving the house. 
"Yeah.." Hyunjin chimed in, his phone instantly falling down onto the couch they were both sitting on. "What is your ideal date? I never heard you talk about it before - about dates in general"
"Probably because I've never been on one," Felix shrugged. "I mean, I have… but just like.. casual dates. I've never actually been on a 'let me take you out' kind of date"
"Casual dates count too!"
"All we did was sit down and talk. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change that memory for the world, but now that I think about it, I kinda wanna go on crazy dates too. Like you and Y/n used to do"
Just the sound of your name brought a smile to Hyunjin's lips. The memories flashed before his eyes at lightning speed, from the first time he saw you, 3 years ago, to the last text you sent him, which had been that morning. "I miss those"
"Which was the best one?"
The enthusiasm in Felix's voice somehow made Hyunjin sad. "Urgh, don't make me do this. I already miss her so much"
"Don't pretend talking about Y/n is not your favorite thing to do"
Again, he couldn't help but smile. "Not when she's on the other side of the globe"
"You're just grumpy today" Felix shook his head. "Do you want me to show you a picture of her? Maybe it'll cheer you up"
"Pff, yeah right" Hyunjin threw an eye roll and pointed his phone in Felix's direction. On the lockscreen there was a picture of you two hugging in front of a blossoming tree. The sun was setting but the gentle and warm artificial light from the fairy lights made it so that both your wide smiles and the flowers around you were perfectly contoured and visible. "I have her as my wallpaper"
"Aww" Felix pouted, grabbing the phone and bringing it closer so he could examine the details a bit more easily. "And it's such a nice picture too."
"Yeah, it is"
"Come on, tell me about your best date. I know you're dying to talk about her"
He wanted to refuse. He knew he should've refused because just the thought of that night filled his heart with so much pain. It was now that he finally understood the true meaning of the word bittersweet. But it was too late, his heart rate already picked up and before he knew it, he was settling better against the cushions on his corner of the couch, feeding off of Felix's radiant and awaiting smile. 
"Ok, but I'd like to start by apologizing to all the other dates we've had, because I feel like an asshole just choosing one-"
"But you know exactly which one it is"
"Yes'' Hyunjin laughed with no hesitation. "Ok, so I don't know if I already told you about this date. I might have, it was the best day ever"
"I don't think so," Felix dreamily shook his head. "I think I'd remember"
"It was right after Y/n got accepted into the programme at work. The day I realized she's leaving. Like she's legit leaving. Like I knew she'd leave, there was no doubt in my mind she'd get accepted, she's the best at what she does, but reality hit me when she showed me the email"
"I remember the email," Felix laughed out loud. "You called me crying, remember?"
"Yeah…"
"One eye crying happy tears, one eye crying sad tears" 
"Leave me alone" Hyunjin exclaimed with a fit of giggles, knowing damn well there was no way to deny it. That whirlwind of emotions was still familiar to him, he was still going through it, one day so proud of you his heart could burst, and the next, so pained by your absence that he could just drop everything and hop on a plane. "I was going through something. That was what made us come up with these ideas for the dates. We always had fun staying indoors and doing absolutely nothing together, but when I realized she'd be leaving for two whole years I kinda freaked."
"Yeah, exactly! Like the other person being there is enough, but if you can do something different, why not do it?"
"Yes. And the first date we had after this was the best day of my life"
"I remember you made a list at one point? The planetarium, you wanted to go hiking, all that stuff-"
"Yeah, well, the first date wasn't so-" Hyunjin trailed off in search of the right word, "Date-y"
"What did you guys do?"
"We decided to walk dogs"
"That's such a Y/n thing, I love it!" Felix laughed, his head thrown back as he clapped his hands. "And no, you haven't told me about this one, I'm pretty sure"
"It means I was saving it for the right moment"
"How many dogs did you walk?"
"Yeah… about that. Y/n posted an ad somewhere, mostly as a joke. We didn't think anyone would actually ask us to walk their dogs, especially because it was on a Saturday. Like during the weekends people actually have time to do this… so we just said ok to every person that contacted us and before we knew it, it was Saturday morning and we had 9 dogs to pick up"
"9!?"
"Yes… I know"
"How did you-"
"Don't ask… please don't ask. They all pooped at least twice and it wasn't just small dogs… every one of them was pulling in different directions and ok, I'm totally used to sticking my hand in Kkami's mouth to take out whatever gross thing he found on the ground and decided to chew, but I wasn't familiar with all these other dogs! Other chihuahuas are fine, but any dog bigger than a beagle? Never doing that again"
"Jesus Christ" Felix was hardly able to contain his laughter, the mental picture being just what he needed. "Only you two could've had this happen"
"It was her idea!"
"I'd be surprised if you didn't jump up and down in excitement when you heard it"
"I might have, but still, I'm not the one who thought 9 was a reasonable number"
"How did you even get to the dog park?"
"We took the car, obviously."
"As if you and Y/n in a car alone with 9 dogs is so much better"
"Hey, we got it done, that's what matters"
"How is this your best date, I don't get it"
"Maybe it was the trauma we went through together. It brought us closer. No, I'm kidding. But it actually was very fun. Once we got to the park, I swear it was like heaven. They were so, so sweet and adorable. And we didn't even have to sweat. All we did was sit down on the grass while they chased each other and played around us. I've never had my face licked so much. We were literally covered in dogs. And at one point-" Hyunjin said with glee and sat up from the couch to exemplify. "- I'd just say turn around and they'd all turn around! Or sit, and they'd all sit. It was like a little dance, they were so happy. It was the best"
"Ok, I take it back. It actually sounds nice" Felix agreed. 
"But then we had to take them all back" Hyunjin sighed, his smile slowly fading off his face as he sat back down. With his legs now gathered to his chest, he continued to speak. "I was starting to get attached. And most of the people that asked us to walk their dogs were older people, you know. And when we brought the dogs back, they were so nice. We obviously didn't want to accept any money, but most of them refused to let us go just like that. One lady gave us flowers from her garden, and I actually painted them. I'd show it to you but I gave the painting to Y/n. And others also gave us pie, and fruits. And like you could tell some of them didn't have much, but they still wanted to share it with us"
A little frown settled on Felix's face as he blinked a few times, "I would've cried" he said sincerely, his eyes not showing even one glint of sarcasm. 
"Oh, we did," Hyunjin nodded with a giggle. "We cried on our way back. Not ugly cried, but we cried"
"It counts"
"Yeah.. and by the time we were done with the dogs, I don't remember what time it was exactly, afternoon anyway, we didn't really know what else to do. We initially planned to go to a restaurant and eat, but we were already full. So we settled for a walk, and we found online this garden in the center of the city - thought it would be nice to go check it out. But when we got there, there was a wedding going on"
"A wedding?"
"Yeah, and the problem was that we didn't realize it was a wedding.. we thought it was just busy so we just strolled in not even bothered by the fact that everyone was dressed in suits and fancy dresses. And so we went towards the back of the garden, where there weren't that many people. It was gorgeous, by the way. You have to see it too, it feels like a different world."
"So you crashed a wedding"
"Well… technically yes, but when we realized what was going on, the bride and groom were very nice about it. They hadn't rented the whole thing so we could've been there for a whole different reason. Like we could've just been there to eat or something but we didn't know. They offered to let us stay if we wanted to dance or something, which was probably just them being polite - we obviously didn't, but we did take some pictures! I mean their photographer took them for us-"
"Your lockscreen!"
"Yes, exactly. And then we left. We stayed there for like 10 minutes maybe? So it wasn't that big of a deal, but we interacted with so many nice people that day. Like, how often does that happen? I don't know, it filled me with joy"
"I can tell, it sounds like a really nice break. Especially since it was the first date like this"
"Yeah… it was very nice. After that we just did a little bit of shopping, went home, cooked together and went to sleep. Like, nothing major happened, but it's still one of the best days of my life. And Y/n was so happy. She didn't stop smiling the whole day. And until then she had been so stressed with work, but that day she was so relaxed, and I got a full day of Y/n just being herself around me, with literally no worries in the world. And I think that's what makes that day so special, because others have technically been more fun, but as time passed and the day she was supposed to leave started approaching, she stopped being so.. I don't know, free. Um… yeah, I don't know what I'm saying-" Hyunjin stopped himself to take a deep breath. "I'm rambling"
"No, I know what you mean," Felix reassured him. "I miss her too."
"What time is it?" Hyunjin asked but was also the one to tap his phone screen to check. When the picture of you two in the garden popped up, both of them smiled. "It's almost 5pm"
"Got any plans?"
"Yes, pester Y/n until she gives me attention. But she's usually working at his hour so I don't want to bother her… too much"
"Send her a selfie" Felix suggested, "It'll make her smile"
"No, I look horrendous. All I've done today was sweat"
"Come on, you could send her a picture of your pinky finger and she'll still find something nice to say about it"
"Yeah, she would," Hyunjin giggled, "somehow…"
"Just like you would, about her pinky"
"Hey, she has very nice hands. And I'm not just saying that"
"I know you're not"
Shortly after, the topic of conversation swiftly shifted. They left the couch in search of food, and neither of them refrained from complaining when they realized there was none left and they had to cook. It was a daily occurance, the complaining and the cooking, but today it was different. While Hyunjin did his part, he moved a bit slower, showed less enthusiasm and his usual jokes were at best delayed, but mostly absent. 
While they both knew the reason, they didn't want to address it. Felix knew his friend would come to him and speak up if he needed someone to listen to him, but he also knew that wasn't enough. Maybe that conversation really wasn't the best idea.
The day drained itself pretty slowly, especially because the only person he wanted to interact with was busy and on the other side of the globe. He wasn't in the mood for anything else and thought he'd go insane, so there was only one thing left for him to do. 
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vagabond-umlaut · 5 months
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transmigrator, meet manipulator
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Chapter 1 of functio laesa Gojo x Fem!Reader; Geto & Reader [platonic]; Canon Divergent AU; Isekai. Fluff & Angst & Drama & Humor; Reincarnation; Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies; Incredibly Self-Indulgent; Eventual Happy Ending; Eventual Friendships & Romance.
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I've jumped on the Isekai bandwagon, y'all. [And I don't regret it one bit.] [Yet.]
Chapter warnings: Mentions of dying, accidents and panicking. Cult leader Geto.
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Many ways exist for one to start a story.
They can write a duel. A confession. A query. A mansion. Or even introduce a character if they wanna.
But no.
You don't start your story any of these ways.
You start it by screeching. Then fainting.
If not totally, quite a bit– oh, who are you even kidding– you're totally freaking out, girl.
****
Dying is sad.
Sadder if you're dying with so many dreams unfulfilled.
Saddest if you're dying in one world, only to find yourself in another world, before realising you'll die [again] in this new world.
Sounds like one hell of an overdramatic overreaction, right?
It won't when your eyes open to a person with black eyes and black hair and bangs. Next move to the 2014 in bold on the wall calendar. Then finally fall on the traditional Buddhist monk robes worn by him... Oh, no way in hell—
A terrified shiver racks through your body; you try your best to hide it as you smile politely at the man.
"Um, hey."
Geto looks at you blankly for a while longer, before cracking a genial smile. In another universe, he would have made an excellent actor, you're sure.
"How are you feeling now?" he asks warmly, moving from the sofa to the chair beside your bed; you really wish he didn't, "You sure do look much better than when I found you."
"I'm better now," you reply, still smiling despite not really wanting to. Then add, wanting to continue your tirade of politeness as a survival tactic, "Thanks for bringing me to the hospital, by the way. I'm sure I would've bled out from my injuries if not for you. Thank you, Geto-san."
Whatever response you might have expected, a pair of wide eyes certainly wasn't a part of them. Geto looks at you, baffled, for another moment, before coughing up a visibly startled chuckle.
"Ah, there's no need to thank me, Miss. I was simply doing what I deemed right. Though I must say..." He trails off for a beat, before resuming, a smirk playing on his features, "I'm pleasantly surprised to see you interact with me so freely. I was thinking you might run for the hills on waking up and seeing me the first thing, from the way you screamed at me earlier today."
"Haha, sorry," you say sheepishly, not knowing how to form a seemingly legit reply.
You definitely cannot say you were scared shitless then, seeing a 2D character in the flesh. Even more for it being the genocidal villain from your favourite anime movie. No, you definitely cannot even utter that.
You ultimately decide to settle for something half-truth-y, "I was terribly shocked then, I think. Not in the right mental space after being hit by a vehic–"
A ringtone cuts you off in the middle of your strained apology. For the first time in your life [lives?], you feel happy for being interrupted while speaking. The man plucks his phone out, wrinkles folding his forehead as he glances at the screen. Only to cut the call in the next instant, shooting you a contrite smile as he rises from his seat.
"Sorry to cut short our little talk, Miss," The man sounds genuinely apologetic; you know better though, "But I'm sure we'll meet again. Soon enough. There are many questions I need you to answer, you see."
"Of course, Geto-san," you chuckle, sagging in relief inside when he finally, frigging finally, steps towards the door. And quite possibly– no, definitely out of your life too. 'Cause there's no way in hell you will let him meet you again. New world or not, you know you have to AND YOU WILL get as far as possible from this–
Geto pauses. One hand on the doorknob. Head twisted slightly to show you a closed-eye smile.
"I never introduced myself once tonight," he hums, "nor did I find you on a road. I found you in the middle of a deserted forest."
A second passes. Or maybe ten. Or maybe sixty. You don't know. You're too busy panicking to know.
Your savior's [more like, future slaughterer's] smile grows impossibly wider. The air feels impossibly colder.
"Goodnight Miss," he says, opening the door. The lights from the room spill into the dark corridor outside. "We will meet again."
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'Looks-like-a-cinnamon-roll-but-will-kill-you' Geto and 'Looks-like-a-cinnamon-roll-and-is-a-very-jumpy-one' Reader.
What can ever go wrong?
Divider by @benkeibear. Header from Pinterest. I don't own the characters used here.
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heongiu · 1 year
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Hiiii, saw your simp headcanons and I loveee it. May I request smth similar to that but reader who doesn't look like a simp because she only shows this privately with Gojo , Nanami, and Geto? You're quite good at hiding it still it's fun for the boys to watch your reactions especially how extremely easy for them to get a reaction from you, ranging from making you fluster to even making you forget your act and simp to them
Thankyou for the request Anon! First of all gotta say I love writing for JJK it's just so fun! They're not gonna be hcs because j can better imagine them as in a scenario! (Sorry for that if you wished for hcs!)
Gojo, Geto and Nanami with a simp reader
~~~~
Gojo Satoru
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Gojo was, quite the ethereal person, Well No wonder he had so many girls dying to be his one and only.
You were too deep down, you wanted to be his one and only too. But that could only be a dream for you.
Though you were quite close to the snowy-haired man, since you worked besides him as a teacher at the Tokyo metropolitan curse technical College. (Fuck that name was so hard to remember?!)
He was tall, quite literally very pale, and he had soft, pink lips, sometimes deep down you wish you could lay your lips on his, very gently kissing him.
But then you would snap out of it.
~~~~
"Y/n-chhi~ you wanna take a walk together? It's quite literally a beautiful weather outside!" And there he was, acting childish as usual. That was a habit of his, a very peculiar behaviour which many would find annoying. But to you it was honestly, quite cute.
"I guess we can" you replied to the man.
You were outside the dorms, when everyone else was sleeping peacefully, walking together in the ground. The grass was cut finely.
It was a nice walk, he just blabbered some random shit, and all you could do was listen. Until...
He took off his blindfold, his bright sky-ish irises shining so bright, even in the dark, his frost dusted eyelashes. And you never thought he could look any more beautiful until today.
You gazed at him, caught in his beauty, or more like lost in it.
Until you realised he was looking at you.
"Y/n, do you have a thing for me?~" he cooed, his light laugh was quite attractive.
Fuck, maybe you should've been more careful with the way you were expressing your emotions on your face. Instead of being caught like this.
"Wh-what do you mean?" You replied, your voice all high pitched. He inched his face closer to yours, your cheeks turned red.
"I said what I said~"
Fuck, you legit screamed inside.
Kento Nanami
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Well, it's quite important to say, you and Nanami worked together at the same place, even at the Jujutsu Academy.
You had known him since you guys were 2nd years, and thats when you joined the Academy too.
He was, well quite the rebellious at that young age, but you'd admit, he had grown into a fine gentleman.
Fuck, maybe you had fallen too hard for him. Who knows, well it was just something about the way he talked to you, it wasn't like how he talked to Gojo Or anybody else. He actually was nicer to you.
Today it was quite strange that you guys had to work together to take down few curses in a building and to save some children. Otherwise you'd be doing the usual missions on your own without any partner. But he was there today
"Y/n, you've gotta focus, there's plenty of curses in this building" He warned you, before you both stepped in, he told you to stay behind him.
He took out his weapon, quite a strange one you'd say, but even so, it was quite the powerful.
Everything was nice until he started folding the sleeves of his shirt, his muscular and veiny arms were now pretty much visible to you.
The way he did that gesture made you feel butterflies in your stomach. Your ears and your nose had turned deep shades of red. You were so lost in his gesture, that you forgot he was speaking to you.
"Y/n" he called out to you, you looked at his face, it was normal, maybe he was just making sure you're still there, since you got zoned out.
"Let's go" he spoke to you, you were sure you couldn't properly see his face, but you did see him smile lightly. Perhaps, he found out how much of a simp you were for him.
Geto Suguru
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Of all this time that you had known Geto for, you could say he was quite the flirt, yet indirectly. He wasn't necessarily very flirtatious, yet he was a smug.
It was quite the self explanatory.
Geto was not a very open person, he was quite careful when it came to who he chose to converse with, or who he chose as a friend. He was quite the cautious guy, even though he never seemed like one.
He was also very calculative, he knew exactly how a person was, before he could even talk to them. And the same happened with you.
When you met him, it was abnormal for him to approach such an ordinary looking fellow like you.
Well he was quite right, though you looked ordinary, you weren't really ordinary at all. You were the absolute and complete opposite of the word.
And he could sense it. He could sense your aura from the beginning, though that was the first time he had doubted his calculations. But in the end, he wasn't disappointed in finding an apprentice like you, or you could call yourself his friend.
Though you wanted to be more than friends with such a man. You desired him, quite desperately, and well let's just say you were quite the genius in hiding those feelings, just like him.
~~~~
You two were sitting together, outside. It was evening, around 6 or 7. The bright white coloured clouds hovered over your heads.
You sat there, talking to him about the old days, how you missed everyone, how much it saddens you that you cannot see them again. And he too expressed his feelings, not his usual thing to do.
It all was all quite gloomy. Perhaps you wanted to talk about something better. And before you could change the topic, Geto ran his hand through his hair, positioning his arms behind him, throwing his head back lightly.
"Fuck" you cursed inside your head. You didn't realise, you were lightly biting at your lips. Your hands ran up and down your thighs. Desperation took over you.
He turned to glance at you, your flustered expression. Somehow he could tell you were simping for him inside your head.
He grabbed your arms to shift you towards himself. You gasped at the sudden motion.
His face was mere inches away from yours, he wasted no time to plant a kiss on your lips.
"You seem to be quite attracted to me, that's adorable" he teased you, his hands running through your hair.
"S-shit you found out" he laughed at your innocent expression.
"It was quite easy to figure out"
~~~~
(GOT SO FLUSTERED WRITING THIS SJDJAJJD AAAA)
152 notes · View notes
reinekes-fox · 1 month
Note
Okay i wanna try to remember everything i wanna say.
Spoilers... probably alot!! Sorry.
I'm gonna number this!:
1. I loved being able to play the game all over again because it felt new to me even tho duh it's not.
2. I liked being a dove. It was my first playthrough as a dove and i was suprised at the optional dove RO even tho we've encountered her before.
3. I still think jonah is absolutely adorable omg.
4. Chase is still a goddamn menace but again romancing him as a Dove just hits different. I still have to do my baby elronds route again and astroria is actually scary. Her and marcel gimma the creeps no lie 🤣 I'd take the yandere aka droznik over them anyday.
Getting onto the update:
1. I still think basti is hot even tho he wants to kill me. Like bruh just lemme flirt with you're dead ass 😒
2. I'm gonna murder Adam!!! Legit. Especially if you were all flirty with him before. My poor baby MC he just thought the dude liked him.
3. Our mother still sucks.
4. Can i stop like dying???!!! 7 on 1 is cowardice 😒 also love how Chase literally kisses us out of a trance.
5. I was not expecting Drozniks' revelation at all!!!! That threw me for a whole loop.
6. There is a scene at the hospital you probably can't fix tho where on his route he helps you get dressed but then all of a sudden Its Fuschia, which confused tf out of me ngl 🤣
I loveeeeeeed the update. Like I've been playing it the whole day and it's like almost 5pm now. I seriously am so obsessed with this i dont think you really get it.
Curses to your goddamn laptop tho because now i gta wait like forever to reach a conclusion to all the unfinished bits and it's torture. Yes yes i know I'm sorry 😞 it sucks for you too but i just wanna side eye your laptop once.
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Never apologise! This gives me really meaningful insight as to what the players can’t reach because of my spaghetti code!
(Actually played through it today myself and man it’s bad… so much stuff is missing, tangled that characters who have no business showing up so just show up, you can do things you shouldn’t be able to do)
1. Why don’t you give raven (or beizen again) a chance? :3 they actually got something new in store!
2. every volery will have its own unique RO, most will just show up later! (Because I don’t want to add even more variables to the birthday…)
3. Jonah is a knight in shining armour.
4. Oh can I maybe interest you in giving Marcels route a chance? And poor Astoria, she just wants to put a ring on your finger :(
Update (yes let me know all you liked!)
1. in one route he will save your life actually!
2. poor Adam was just as shocked as you were! „Fuck that hot guy is talking to a vampire…“ and he will write you later, feeling really bad about it!
3. mother dearest, the sad thing is that she actually improved from when she raised MC!
4. oh you aren’t dead just yet! Kind stranger saved you! And yeah chases kiss too
5. that was my plan all along!
6. that happens everywhere it’s awful 😭
How do you think I am feeling, sitting on all this stiff in my head but I can’t write it 🥲 it’s horrible… I have so much stuff I want to put in there… but I can’t…
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seriowan · 2 years
Text
family ties - dad!hunter x mom!f!reader (AU)
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main masterlist ao3
⭒ summary: Five years have passed since Crosshair's betrayal. Five years since Omega's last step on Kamino. Five years since the birth of your and Hunter's son. In these five years, the past was nothing more than a whisper. Forgotten history. A stain that lingered ever so faintly, but never acknowledged. Yet even you are aware that history never stays hidden for long. One way or another, the past would resurface and your son would know of it all. Until then, you and Hunter decided that while you had the power to choose, you would do what was best for your child... including the long overdue meeting with his outcasted uncle. ⭒ word count: 4,8k ⭒ pairing: dad!hunter x f!reader ⭒ cw/tw: angst, fluff, parenting/motherhood, talk about having more children, au - i know i said this is a dad!hunter fic (which it is) but all the batchers have scenes in this because i love them all ⭒ a/n: hunter is legit a dad(dy) so this was soooo easy to write; i will say that it is 3 a.m and while i was determined to finish it, i was also falling asleep at multiple points during this writing so be aware that there might be mistakes cause i don't beta read :) have fun reading!
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Underneath the control panel in the cockpit of the Marauder, Tech wiped his grimy forehead with the back of his forearm before resuming the tedious crank of his wrench. His wrist ached, eyes burning from staring at the bolt that was less than an inch above his head. Everything smelled of metal, so much that Tech could even taste it. 
   When he worked alone, Tech often became dead to the outside world. He fell into his own bubble of concentration, blocking out any distractions that would hinder the efficiency of his task… until Koda came around. 
   Koda was only five but the older he grew, the more he presented himself as the not-exact-clone of his father. While he certainly had Hunter’s looks and long frizzy locks (which he refused to cut), Koda was half as much of you as he was his father - talkative, temperamental, and undeniably curious. 
   “Uncle Tech?” 
   “Yes, Koda?” 
   “What’s that?” 
   Tech had to crane his neck at an awkward angle to see the little boy in the pilot’s seat. Usually, Koda would have been sporting civvies that were too big for his small body, but today his mother dressed him in gray overalls and a red t-shirt. It was one of the few clothes that they bought to associate Koda with Clone Force 99, right alongside your own gear. 
   “What is what?” 
   Koda’s feet kicked back and forth as he pointed to the wrench in Tech’s hand. “That.” 
   “This is a wrench.” 
   “What’s it for?” 
   “Tightening nuts and bolts.” 
   “Why?” 
   “It is a tool that I frequently use for my repairs,” Tech prompted, turning his attention back to the panel. It took every ounce of self-control to refrain from using the correct jargon. Even so, Tech had a feeling that the young toddler was smarter than he led on. Since they were essentially sharing a percentage of identical DNA, there was some hope that Koda would end up an exceptional, intelligent pilot like his [favorite] uncle. 
   “Uncle Tech?” 
   “Yes, Koda?” 
   “Can I fly the Madara when I turn six?” The five-year-old pushed his hair away from his eyes and held up a single finger. “I turn six in one month.”
   “One year,” Tech said, though it came out as a grunt when the wrench wouldn’t budge. “Technically, eleven months and sixteen days. In standard time, of course.” 
   “I said that.” 
   Tech lowered his hand with a deep breath and wiped his face with his grease-stained palm, smudging it across his face. He slid out from underneath the control panel and sat up, resting his elbows on his knees. With his hands in his lap and his back as straight as a board, the little boy looked like a perfect angel. Tech could only narrow his eyes at the clear deception. 
   “If you memorize the specifications of the ship before you turn six, then I may let you copilot.” 
   Koda let out a whine. “That’s in so-o-o long.” 
   Tech rolled his eyes, hiding a small smile as he muttered, “I would argue it is not long enough.” 
   As he leaned back to resume working, Koda huffed a dramatic sigh and looked around the cockpit. He kicked his feet and played with his fingers in his lap, brown eyes flickering across the colorful buttons and bright blue flashes on the center control panel. He licked his lips as a thought began to develop; a thought that snowballed as Koda’s attention settled on the steering helm. 
   With a sneaky smile, he scooted to the edge of the too-big chair and wrapped his small hands around the sides of the helm. Sucking in a deep breath, Koda closed his eyes and began to fly the Marauder in his imagination, blowing raspberries to mimic the ship’s roaring engines. 
   Tech spared another glance and smiled, watching with the slightest look of fondness as Koda pressed various buttons and yanked the helm left and right. In the fluorescent lighting, with his hair down and scattered over his face, with his lips pulled back in the widest grin of childlike excitement, Koda looked so much like his father that Tech found himself sentimental over their childhood. They were once just as happy. Under different circumstances, of course, but he could vaguely remember Wrecker laughing like that when they were cadets. 
   It was a peculiar thought that he found himself pondering more and more as the months went by and Koda continued growing. He wondered how their pasts would have been, had they been raised like normal children. 
   Well, as normal as a clone could be. 
   But Koda was not a clone, and Tech believed that was what made his nephew particularly unique. Koda was only half clone. Only half of the DNA that made him identical to millions of others. The other half belonged to someone else entirely. He had your tenderness and empathy. Your kindness and affinity for helping others. He put bandaids on Echo’s prosthetics and showered Wrecker’s scars with kisses, but only after watching you gently kiss Hunter on the forehead when he was overwhelmed. Now, Koda looked like Hunter in fluorescent lights; like Wrecker whenever he laughed; like Echo when he pouted; like Crosshair when he glared; like Omega when he was too curious for his own good; and like Tech, full of joy and concentration when he flew. 
   Tech could only smile to himself as he resumed working. 
   Heavy footsteps echoed up the gangplank before Wrecker walked into the ship, turning his head left and right in search of something small. When he glanced toward the cockpit and saw Koda playing in the pilot’s seat, Wrecker’s face instantly brightened with a grin. “Hey, little guy!” 
   Koda forgot all about Tech and piloting the ship as he leaped out of the seat and sprinted right into his uncle’s open arms. He instinctively braced himself, shrieking with laughter as Wrecker tossed him up in the air and set him back down. 
   “Hi, Uncle Wrecker,” the boy grinned, reaching up to grasp a single finger with his small hand. “Can we play outside?” 
   Wrecker apologetically frowned as he crouched to a knee. He ruffled Koda’s long hair, muttering, “Can’t. Sorry kiddo, but your mom’s been lookin’ everywhere for ya’.” 
   Koda’s lip jutted in a pout, his gaze softening until he looked like a pleading pup. Wrecker groaned with guilt, cupping his hand over his eyes. “Don’t do that or I’ll end up sayin’ yes to everything and your mom and pop are gonna be mad at me.” 
   “But they can’t put you in time out.” 
   “Oh, yes they can,” Wrecker chuckled.
   Koda’s mouth fell open in shock. “But you’re too big!”
   “And you’re too small,” Wrecker growled, grabbing the boy by the back of his overalls to hoist him up in the air. Koda laughed the entire time as he was seated behind Wrecker’s head, legs hanging over his uncle’s shoulders. He placed both hands on Wrecker’s shiny head, stuck his nose up in the air, and dutifully cried out, “Spin, Uncle Wrecker, SPIN!” 
   When little Koda asked, Uncle Wrecker answered. How could he possibly say no to his nephew if he could hardly say no to Omega? They were the only two that could bend him to their will without even raising a pinky. Wrecker might have been the biggest, but he was certainly the softest when it came to the kids. 
   If only he had the energy for them. 
   It only took a few minutes of spinning and pretending to be a spaceship before Wrecker paused to catch his breath. Koda continued pretending to guide him, only pausing when he heard Omega’s voice coming from behind the ship. His eyes lit up as he craned his head to see her. “Is that Auntie Meg?” 
   Wrecker nodded and set out to find Omega. He walked around the ship, instinctively observing the forest around them. It wasn’t really a unanimous decision when they decided to land on Alderaan for repairs, but Tech assured them that the Empire wouldn’t bother looking for them on a planet that was so viciously protected by a previous senator of the Republic - and a devout one at that.
   You only allowed it because you didn’t want Koda to be in a faulty ship any longer than he already had to be. The trip back to Ord Mantell was long enough as is and the ship had taken some damage during its last mission. There was no time to fix the ship the last time they were planetside, so you did some persuading the moment the ship landed on solid ground. As always, your argument was won by a landslide against Tech’s meager, “The ship’s integrity is adequate enough to make it to Ord Mantell without any further complications.” 
   The moment you gave him a motherly glare, he sighed and got ready to work on the repairs.
   While Tech was inside the ship, buried underneath the control boards, Echo and Omega were outside to fix the few bumps and cracks in the Marauder’s underbelly. Omega stood by the ship with a flashlight in one hand and a long metal tool in the other, patiently waiting by the cybernetic legs that stuck out underneath the ship. Echo’s hand suddenly appeared, fingers curling as he said, “Spanner wrench.” 
   Omega placed the tool in his hand just as Wrecker and Koda approached. The sound of crunching branches and leaves caused her to turn her head. Whatever fatigue she felt from the labor suddenly faded, replaced by excitement as she cried out, “Buggy!”, and ran towards Koda with her hands raised. 
   Wrecker leaned over to let Koda slide right off of his shoulders and into his hands before resting him gently on the ground, only to be picked up moments later and placed on Omega’s hip. “Oh man,” she grimaced, struggling to adjust his place on her side. “You’re huge now, little bug. I think I’ll have to start calling you big bug from now on.”  
    Koda turned towards Wrecker with a smug expression, and Wrecker could only bark out a laugh when the boy mumbled, “Uncle Wrecker said I’m small. ”
   Omega rolled her eyes. “Uncle Wrecker likes to be mean sometimes.” 
   “Hey!” 
   Koda smiled as Echo rolled out from underneath the ship and stood. He wiped his hand free of grease with a nearby rag before playfully pinching Koda’s cherry-red cheek, greeting him with a warm, “Adi’ka.” 
   “Ba’vodu,” Koda grinned. “Are you helping Uncle Tech fix the ship?” 
   “Yes, I am.” Echo sighed, scratching at his head as he skimmed over the mess of ship parts and tools. “But it’s a lot more than I thought it’d be. Thankfully, Wrecker’s here just in time to help me. Right? ” 
   Wrecker furrowed his brows and opened his mouth to object when Echo suddenly tipped his head towards Koda and Omega. He warily glanced at them, sagging his shoulders when he saw just how happy Omega was to be holding Koda. Defeated, he begrudgingly agreed to stay. 
   Echo smirked, satisfied. “Good. Omega, why don’t you take Koda to Hunter and the Missus? They should be by the lake.” 
   Omega visibly relaxed, melting into her shoes with relief. She nodded and glanced at Koda with a grin. “Ready to see your parents?” 
   Koda hastily nodded. Initially, he wasn’t too happy about giving up his time with his uncles to go to his mother and father, but the longer he thought about them, the more he began to miss them. Even if it was just a few hours since you and Hunter departed, Koda felt as if it had been a lifetime. 
   “Bye ba’vodu Echo!” Koda waved as he and Omega walked into the forest. “Bye Uncle Wrecker!” 
   Wrecker and Echo grinned and waved. The moment the kids were out of earshot, he leaned over and muttered, “He knows he’s comin’ back… right?” 
   Echo’s face twisted into an are-you-serious-right-now expression. Wrecker just shrugged. The two turned back to the ship and put their hands on their hips at the same time. 
   “This is gonna take a while.” 
   “Aw, man.” 
In the woods, Koda walked alongside Omega with his hand in her own. She happily pointed out the bugs and different trees that she researched on Tech’s datapad during her brief breaks. Koda listened intently, hanging onto every word that she spoke. Out of the many reasons why Omega loved being in Koda’s company, his desire to learn was definitely one of her favorites. No matter the subject, Koda always seemed happy to not only listen while Omega went off on a tangent but he was quick to dissect and understand everything she said. 
   “-and this is a Brigsby Beetle.” They both crouched by a boulder, watching the black beetle that slowly crawled over the moss. Koda reached out to touch it but Omega gently seized his wrist before he could be pinched by the beetle’s massive pincers. “We don’t want to touch this one, buggy. It has something called venom and venom doesn’t feel good.” 
   Koda furrowed his brows. “Venom?” 
   Omega nodded, briefly thinking of an explanation before she settled on,  “Like a nasty tummy ache, but a lot worse.” 
   “I don’t like tummy aches.” Koda shuddered and took a step back.
   “Ko-o-o-da!” 
   The two children perched their heads up at the sound of your sing-song voice. Koda grinned, excitedly bouncing on the balls of his feet at the thought of seeing his mother. 
   “It’s mommy!” He whispered happily, clenching one of Omega’s fingers to give it an excited shake. With that, Koda took over and began leading her to the lake, following the sound of your voice and the splash of water. It was his enhanced hearing that led him to the rocky shore of one of Alderaan’s beautiful lakes; his sharp vision that noticed you and Hunter long before Omega even thought to look.
   While she took a moment to gape at the gorgeous view of mountains and trees, Koda let go of her hand and ran toward the two silhouettes sitting comfortably on a log. You were wet from head to toe having just gotten out of the river. A woven basket of gutted and cleaned fish lay in front of you and Hunter like a testimony of your teamwork. 
   The sound of Koda’s giggles had Hunter standing on his feet before you could even acknowledge it. You turned just in time to see Koda barrel into his open arms before being hoisted up to Hunter’s chest. Koda’s arms wrapped around his neck while Hunter cupped the back of his head, the two savoring a second just to squeeze each other tightly. 
   “Hi, daddy,” Koda murmured into his neck, melting into his father’s arms with relief. He pulled away to shyly tuck his chin to his chest, cheeks flushed red. “I missed you.” 
   “Not me?” You faked a pout as you joined them, poking Koda’s red nose with your fingertip. He held out his arms and Hunter wasted no time shifting him over to you, giving you a chance to hug your son while Hunter greeted Omega with a ruffle of her hair and an affectionate smile. 
   Koda pulled away to kiss your cheek.
   “I missed you too, mommy,” he said like it was a well-known fact. “Always.” 
   “Me too, buggy,” you said, kissing his temple. “Me too.” 
   Hunter pushed back Koda’s hair from his face, frowning. “Where’s your bandana, adi’ka?” 
    Koda innocently shrugged. 
   Before Hunter could even ask, Omega held up her wrist, offering her hair tie with a knowing smile. He thanked her and slipped it off, shifting behind Koda so that he could pull his long hair back and tie it up in a loose bun. “There, that should do it.” 
   “Thank you, daddy.” 
   You shut your eyes and softly exhaled through your mouth. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. He’s just cute. You don’t have to cry. Seriously- 
    “So,” Omega hummed, placing her hands on her hips. “Why are you two still here if you caught so many fish? Echo, Tech, and Wrecker are all working on the ship and I think repairs would go by faster if we all helped.” 
   For just a moment, you didn’t know what to say. In that second, Omega sounded and looked so mature that you felt like you were talking to a mix of all the guys. Even Hunter, who paused for a moment, seemed to have this revelation as he stared at her. The two of you shared a sentimental look before he glanced toward the other side of the narrow lake, observant eyes narrowing ever-so-slightly. 
    Hunter wanted to tell her the truth but you could see that he was hesitating. Neither one of you wanted to hurt her or the others, but now that she was here, you had no choice but to be honest. Handing Koda off to Hunter, you gently took Omega’s hand and walked her to the lakeshore. 
   “Omega…” You bit your lip and she frowned. “We didn’t tell the others because we didn’t know how this would go… but we didn’t land here just for repairs.” 
   Her brows furrowed and for a brief moment, you saw Crosshair in her facial expression. “What? Why are we on Alderaan then?” 
   As if waiting for her to ask that exact question, the sound of footsteps and crunching branches echoed from the treeline. Omega didn’t miss the way you defensively tensed, locking eyes with Hunter as he carried Koda to you. Gently setting him down on the ground, Hunter took a step in front of his son to hide him behind his legs just as a charcoal silhouette stepped out of the forest. 
   Omega immediately went still. 
   Crosshair looked just as worn and tired as he did five years ago on Kamino, albeit the scar on the side of his head had faded into nothing and his face was greyed with stubble. That damned toothpick was still in the corner of his mouth, right where it belonged. But there was something different in the way he walked, as if a phantom limp was slightly deterring his balance. Regardless, he kept the same sly confidence when lifting his shadowy gaze up from the ground.
   “When I got your message to meet here, I thought you were joking.” 
   Five years. Five years and that was what he had to say? After you, Omega, and his own brothers, saved him on Kamino just for him to turn his back once again? 
   Your anger suddenly outweighed the grief of his absence. 
   “You prick-” Angrily taking a step forward, you moved with the determination to choke him alive when a meek little voice made you stop and crash back into reality. 
   “Mommy?” 
   Koda looked just as confused as he was afraid. He was too small to understand anything other than the fact that you were trembling with anger, Omega looked like she’d seen a ghost, and Hunter was silent yet rigid with the protectiveness of a bear. You could only imagine what was going on through your little one’s head. 
   Taking his hand in your own, you pulled Koda in front of you and crouched, bringing his cold fingers up to your lips for an assuring kiss. “It’s ok, buggy. This is Crosshair.” 
   Koda nervously looked at Crosshair, who stared at him with a blend of shock and disbelief. Just as quickly as it came, the surprise faded and Crosshair’s expression hardened when it shifted to Hunter. 
   “I see you’ve been busy.”
   “This is a mistake,” Omega immediately interjected, reaching out to grab Hunter’s tense wrist. He ripped his attention away from his brother to glance down at the worried blonde. “We can’t let him see Koda. He’ll mention it to the Empire and they’ll know about him and-” 
   “Relax,” Hunter advised, his voice surprisingly steady. “He’s not here to hurt us.” 
   As if to reinforce this statement, Hunter locked eyes with Crosshair. 
   Crosshair only grunted, shifting his toothpick from one side of the mouth to the other, eyes flitting back down to you, then to Koda. Unbelievably, his cold stare softened. 
   “Does he know about me?” 
   “No,” Hunter responded gruffly, dismissing the stinging betrayal that briefly flashed across Crosshair’s face. “Wasn’t sure if you wanted him to know.” 
   Crosshair’s shoulders dropped just slightly. If the comment stung, he hid his facial reaction well. “Hm. Good call.” 
   “I asked you to come here so I could give you a chance.” Hunter glanced back at you before giving Koda a small smile. He held out his hand and like a magnet, Koda took it, allowing Hunter to pull him up to the front.
   You took Omega’s hand in your own and she squeezed it tight, hoping to ease your own nerves. 
   Crosshair moved his toothpick again and Koda watched it with confused fascination. The boy’s expression was so similar to Hunter’s that for just a heartbeat, Crosshair looked as if he’d seen a ghost. 
   “You know I won’t go back,” he murmured after a pause of silence. “You know I can’t.” 
   “That’s not what we’re asking, Cross,” Hunter muttered. “I just don’t want to keep my son away from you any longer.” 
    My son. 
   By the look on Crosshair’s face, you assumed that the words had barely just settled in his mind. This wasn’t just another child; not another clone to look at with annoyance. This was Hunter’s son. Your son. Crosshair was just another stranger to him. Crosshair, the brother that once was his closest confidant; the one who’d have his back in every battle across every star system. Now he was a no-one, both to Hunter and his son. 
   Gathering your wits, you took a step forward. “Crosshair… you know how important you are to this family. Something like that isn’t so easily forgotten. Don’t let the Imperial be the man that we introduce to Koda. Let him know the friend that I once had when we fought for the Republic; when we fought for good in this galaxy.” 
   The toothpick snapped in half. Crosshair discarded it but didn’t retrieve another as he flitted his gaze between Koda and Hunter. The resemblance was uncanny. Crosshair took another moment to stare before slowly exhaling through his nose. He finally moved, opting to sit on a large boulder. 
   Slowly as to not make any sudden movements, he removed his pack and set it down, unsheathing his knives and hidden blasters. When he was left in nothing but his bland charcoal armor, Crosshair stood and walked towards you and Hunter. Even weaponless, you couldn’t help but feel unease.
   Crosshair stopped just an arm’s length away from Hunter and Koda, and with a glance towards his brother, he crouched in front of his nephew. 
   “Koda, huh?” 
   Koda nodded nervously, shrinking into Hunter’s side. Hunter kneeled, gently palming the boy’s jaw to turn his head towards Crosshair. The moment he looked, Koda returned to the safety of Hunter’s neck, burying his face there as if he could shrink his whole body and disappear. Hunter soothingly rubbed his hand up and down his son’s back. “You don’t have to be shy, Koda. This is Crosshair, he’s your…” 
   He hesitated, cautiously meeting Crosshair’s eyes. . 
   “...Uncle,” The silver-haired clone finished with the ghost of a smile on his lips. 
   Koda unfurled from the shelter of Hunter’s body. He nervously looked between Crosshair and his father, only moving further after receiving an assuring smile and a little nudge. 
   “Go on. He won’t hurt you.”
   Crosshair watched with a peculiar expression as Koda timidly approached him. The boy’s hair was up in a rough bun but a few strands fell in front of his face; Crosshair had to clench his jaw to refrain from calling him Hunter by mistake. 
   “Go on, adi’ka,” you encouraged softly. “Crosshair is just like Uncle Wreck and Ba’vodu Echo.” 
   “He’s family,” Omega finally spoke, meeting Crosshair’s gaze for the first time since he arrived. He lowered his chin but held her stare and in that brief second, the two had an exchange far more powerful than words could ever describe. A silent apology and its silent forgiveness. Not that she really needed time to consider it anyway. A piece of Omega would always find forgiveness for him, regardless of how many years they spend apart.
   This seemed to ease Koda’s nerves. He looked more relaxed as he walked right up to Crosshair, stopping just a few inches in front of his wayward uncle. Crosshair uncomfortably refrained from making eye contact but before he could keep it that way, Koda’s small hand cupped his cheek, holding him in place. 
   “You look like daddy,” he curiously whispered, soft enough for Crosshair to hear and Hunter to detect. The two of them shared a sad glance before Crosshair cleared his throat. 
   “He’s my brother.” 
   “I don’t have brothers,” Koda stated smartly, his chipper tone easing the noticeable tension. 
   Crosshair arched a brow and looked at you, giving you a familiar smirk that made your chest ache. “Maybe you might one day. Or somethin’ else. You’ve got options.” 
   Crossing your arms over your chest, you snorted and rolled your eyes. “Yeah let me just get accidentally pregnant again.” 
    The brief banter made Hunter smile. You and Crosshair used to be like this all the time, from the day you were assigned to their team to the day that the war ended. Bantering was your form of friendship and now, even if the moment was short, it felt so right. Like nothing had changed and the two of you fell right back into step with one another. 
   Crosshair opened his mouth to add something else when Koda held up his hands with an expectant smile. 
   “Pick me up?” 
   Crosshair paled. “No, I don’t think-- I can’t-” 
   Koda jutted his bottom lip. “Please?” 
   Crosshair’s evident discomfort made you giggle. Nonetheless, he gently scooped Koda up by his armpits and held him out with his arms extended and his elbows locked. “You’re a funny-looking thing.” 
   Koda’s brows furrowed. “Mommy says I’m the handsomest.”
   “Mm. She would say something like that.” 
   You leaned against Hunter’s side as he put his arm over your shoulders, holding you close enough to press his lips against the shell of your ear. While Crosshair had seemingly accepted Koda and vice versa, you could feel the tension still lingering in Hunter’s guarded stance and weary stare. 
   The last thing he wanted to do was get his son attached to his brother, only for Crosshair to deal the same cards as he did on Kamino. The galaxy would surely burn if Koda’s heart were to ever break. 
   “Did I make a good decision?” 
   Now that he’d been a father for five years, Hunter was better at voicing his worry. When it came to his son, he’d never shy away from concern or worry, even blatant overprotectiveness. 
   “You made the best decision for today,” you murmured, turning your head to kiss his cheek. He exhale and leaned into your touch, soaking in the assurance. “We’ll worry about tomorrow when we get there.” 
   Omega’s small hand wrapped around Hunter’s, squeezing tight enough to make his head turn her way, brows furrowed in worry. 
   “You promise you can trust him?” 
   Hunter hesitated. He couldn’t make an empty promise like that, even if his son was now standing by Crosshair’s side, holding onto a slim finger as he led the unwilling sniper toward the lakeshore in search of bugs and shiny rocks. In an odd, messed up way, Hunter always felt willing to trust his brother, to die for him, but that was just years of habit. He’d always felt that way, so when the time came for him to prioritize his wife and son, Hunter had to unlearn this instinct. His brothers would always be equipped to keep themselves safe but you? Koda? He wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he made the promise only to have it broken in the future. 
   So you decided to make the promise for him. 
   “I trust him,” you assured, brushing a strand of hair out of Omega’s eye and behind her ear. “I trust him with Koda because Koda?” You met Hunter’s eyes. “ He is evidence that there’s a future for us beyond smuggling and running jobs for Cid… And I think he is helping Crosshair realize that.” 
   Maybe Koda could successfully warm Crosshair’s heart. Maybe the boy’s love of rocks could somehow chip away the cold walls that Crosshair had built. Or maybe, after the sunset, when Koda would climb into the cot with his parents, Crosshair would report to Rampart the news that Hunter,  the leader of Clone Force 99, had a son. One with enhanced hearing, at that. A product of a clone, surely to be taken and examined or eradicated entirely for being seen as nothing more than a nuisance. As if the Empire needed more children born with rebel ideology. 
   Or maybe, just maybe, the sound of Koda's giggle and Crosshair’s light chuckle was a sign that something had already begun to change. 
   And now it was simply time to wait and see. 
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author's note: yes, koda's name was inspired by cody 🥲❤️
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lastoneout · 2 months
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So my nerve pain that I was in the ER for the other day was improving but now seems to just be like, plateauing? and not really getting any better, and like when I called my shitty neurologist about it she basically just told me to take ibuprofen, and the last time I talked to her about what to do re: my opccipital nerve pain she told me to talk to my pain specialist, so like yeah calling her again seems kinda beyond pointless even if I didn't hate her.
But today I do have an appointment I forgot to cancel with my shitty pain specialist who put me in the ER back in March, and like I do NOT want to see him again AT ALL, but I also am starting to get really freaked out by this nerve pain not getting better and nothing really helping, and I know this is outside my primary's wheelhouse, and idk if the ER or urgent care are going to really be able to do much outside of make sure I'm not dying(which they already did last time I was there, they ran a bunch of tests and did a CT scan and legit said it's just my opccipital nurlasia flaring up) so I'm like....do I go and just see if there's anything he can do? Cuz like I don't trust him but I feel like I basically have no other option here and I can't keep being in pain like this forever, I have stuff to do, and the only meds that help fuck with my other meds and make me too high to function so like....
The only downside is this office is like, WAY on the other side of town, and we're broke rn and my fiance is too busy at work to take time off to give me a ride, so I just barely have enough money to get me up to the appointment, not enough to get back so I'd have to just hang out until my fiance gets off and can come get me, and I don't know that anyone can give me a ride this short notice. But this also kinda feels like my only chance to talk to a doctor about this outside of the ER and tbh I really just don't want to go to the ER again anyway....
Eugh on top of it all I think something I ate last night was a little off bcs my stomach has been bothering me all night and I feel super nauseous. I just have no idea what to do, I don't know who can help me or what's wrong or if I need to be worried, and my only option is someone who put me in the Fucking ER with his incompetence. God I feel so hopeless rn, everything was looking up for a while there and now it's falling apart and I feel so alone and confused and scared. I don't know what to do. There aren't good options.
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eggtartz · 2 years
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You know how Rindou ended up at a Yakuza office and started fighting with them😂 what if the Reader ended up being the Yakuza's granddaughter and she's really strong and she's also calm and beautiful but he knows who the reader is because he knows her relative who is in Tenjiku but haven't met her yet and then there's Y/n at the Yakuza office 😭
I bet he would definitely feel like dying there more at the moment 😭
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a/n : NAUR I FORGOT ABOUT THIS 😭 thankyou for reminding how feral kakucho could be 😭🫶🏻
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summary : when rindou thought his day could be worse...
- ran was having his rest so today the one who would be training with kakucho is rindou
- poor rindou thought they were going to the gym but kakucho took a right turn and headed to a yakuza office jnstead
- kakucho went demonic and kicked the door down 😭😭😭 (imagine how frightened rindou was because kakucho legit launched himself at the yakuza with a damn care of the world 😭)
- rindou stepped back and saw the name sign on the door (last name)
- rindou's eye sockets popped out really (he even took his glasses the read it again. wiped his glasses then read it again)
- HE DIDN'T READ THAT WRONG, THE LAST NAME BELONGED TO YOU TOO (he then glanced into the office and tried to figure out the person who shared the last name with you)
- the least that he could do is save this person from kakucho's fury 😭
- he never met you, but he always heard wild stories of you fighting boys in your school (based on what your cousin said, the boys catcalled you)
- your cousin also always bought lots of food for the whole gang saying that you made it (the way your cousin had to stop the members from meeting you)
- "what the hell? who're you?" rindou heard a voice outside, kakucho who grabbed a chair stopped as well
- "rindou? kakucho? what is this?"
- slowly, kakucho dropped the metal chair and stopped his rampage, looked at rindou confusingly because how'd you know their names
- with a tsk you said "im (cousin's name) cousin! didn't you read the name at the door? we pledged our areas to tenjiku did we not?" you asked while crossing your arms
- kakucho scratched his neck, rindou nervously playing with his glasses frame
- "you know at least you could've read where you're going. look at this, my grandpa said he would have up his position last week with izana. did you forgot? rindou? kakucho?"
- you were frustrated so you flicked their foreheads and it bleeds making the deliquents wince
- back at the hideout, ran laughed so hard that he fell from his chair. you were still upset at how malicious they are but put some ointment on their foreheads as well. (you felt a bit bad, you shouldn't have been too strong with the flicks)
- kakucho awkwardly said sorry to you while rindou vowed to never go training with kakucho again
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seriouslysam8 · 11 months
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You portray Sirius’s struggles so well, and I think they’re so in line with his canon character. I feel like most authors either ignore and hand wave away his struggles, or they lean so far in the other direction that he’s completely incompetent and nothing like his canon character. It is so refreshing to be able to read about a Sirius who is clever and intelligent and protective and trying so hard while also struggling with his demons and spiraling downwards. Brumous is everything I’ve ever wanted in a Harry & Sirius fic.
🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
I cannot tell you how much that means to me that you love the Harry and Sirius relationship in this story - especially the characterization of Sirius.
I feel like Sirius’ character is often butchered in fanfiction. His childhood trauma is often ignored, even his trauma from Halloween/Azkaban is ignored. I find that a lot of people portray him as this… goofball dramatic person who makes serious/Sirius puns nonstop. Or he’s a thirty-five year old man having prank wars with the twins at Grimmauld Place. His drinking problem in OOTP is always overlooked. Sirius giving Harry pet names like pup or Prongslet or Bambi or whatever is just… not very Sirius. Or the overuse of Moony and Padfoot in post-Azkaban stories. Like… did they ever call each other their childhood nicknames in canon?? I don’t think they did, but I could be wrong so correct me if I’m wrong. I feel like those names wouldn’t be uttered ever again because of the pain that James’ death and Peter’s betrayal brings them. In GOF, Sirius is displayed as a very intelligent man who understands the complexities of wizarding politics and has extensive knowledge of wizarding families - no doubt a byproduct of his childhood being in that pureblood culture growing up.
Even when I write him as a teenager in Bête Noire, he’s a troubled teen who has been severely scarred by his upbringing. He worries incessantly about a threat from Walburga, closing himself off and isolating from his friends. At this point, he’s already drinking and smoking cigarettes as a coping mechanism at 15/16 years old.
Sirius is a very complicated character who has such an interesting backstory. To me, he’s the most interesting character in the entire series. Sorry, Harry. I know it’s your birthday today and I’m not shitting on you, but even you can’t stop thinking about how hot and tall your godfather is. You’re as obsessed as the rest of us.
That’s another thing, speaking of tall Sirius, that shits me about fanon Sirius. He’s tall, okay?!? Harry states it like every single time he sees his godfather. Sirius is tall!! He’s the tallest of all the Marauders. It’s Sirius, then James, then Remus, and then Peter is small. It’s facts, okay? It’s written in black and white. I nope right out of a story as soon as I read Remus or James is taller. The entire Black family is described as tall.
I digress.
I normally write heavy Hinny stories. I love them. They’re my favorite couple. But Brumous isn’t about Hinny. They are the main couple, but this isn’t a story about them. This is a story about Sirius and Harry becoming family and overcoming their childhood traumas. They are the main POVs. They are the main characters. Some of you may hate chapter 35 because it legit only has their POVs. Nobody elses. (Though @prewettpotter asked about a Ginny POV dealing with finding Sirius nearly dead in a pool of vomit and alcohol with Harry so I may have to add that to my list of missing moments.) Sirius finally getting help for all his deep-rooted issues is a major part of this story too. Because you all know it’s Harry, Sirius, Remus, and Tonks who go on the Horcrux hunt next story, you also know Sirius really needs to work on himself in order to really help Harry succeed. He needs to be in a better place mentally. Finally, after 34 chapters, Sirius is getting the help he desperately needs. He officially hit rock bottom and it took nearly dying and having Harry find him to make him realize just how damaged he truly was.
If you’ve read my stories before, you know I love to really dive in deep into very real and painful everyday problems people have.
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otakween · 9 months
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Digimon Tamers: Battle of Adventurers
Eh...gotta be honest, I found this pretty underwhelming. It had its moments, don't get me wrong, but the plot felt pretty generic and the ending was rushed. Still had fun, but the emotional investment was lacking.
Notes:
Reddit told me to watch this after episode 18, so I got the timing a little off, but I felt like it'd be good to watch prior to the digiworld episodes. The only timeline wonkiness is that this takes place before Culumon's kidnapping, which I've already seen, but that's fine.
In another moment of ~fate~ the movie begins with Guilmon dying of heat (not literally lol) and it was "feels like 101" where I am today so...can relate.
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I was a pretty sheltered kid, so IDK how I would react to my parents making me travel by myself at 10...not that I'm against that, I just know 10 year old me woulda been a big crybaby about it.
Kinda weird that they gave us 2 title screens for this, one of which was just ripped from the TV show. The whole vibe was kind of a mixed bag in this, sometimes the animation felt pretty much the same quality as the show and sometimes it felt like they were stepping it up, not super consistent.
"Battle of Adventurers" is a pretty uninspired title. I feel like they could have either put something about Okinawa or the v-pet virus in the title instead so it would stand out a bit more...
Speaking of the V-Pet, I thought it was super charming with its crappy CGI lol. I totally would have fell for it in 2001. Kinda hard to believe that literally everyone downloaded it though (doctors, pilots, etc.) Or was it more like that one U2 album that was automatically distributed to everyone?
Guilmon begging to get out of the suitcase was stressful! How did he not suffocate? D: (do digimon even need to breathe?)
They really did the movie-only character (Minami) dirty this time. She had to be re-traumatized about her dead dog so many times! Just felt cruel...
All of the Okinawa cultural stuff was fun, especially the Okinawa-inspired digimon. If Digimon Go was a thing, you know they'd be region specific.
When Ruki's mom was like "oh, it's so comfortable flying on the plane!" I was like "okay, rich." That's the only explanation because flying economy is always a bad time.
Although a lot of the character animation was kinda meh, the battle animation is where this movie really shined. It was like little pockets of hype and there was a really good variety of enemy digimon. I was especially excited to see Anomalocarimon cuz it's been a minute and there was a lot of attention to detail with his bit.
Siesamon's design was really pretty, but I don't like his resting angry face. I wish they would have made his face more emotive because it kind of diminished some emotional moments...
There was one scene where it showed some buildings blowing up (because of the virus) and one of them suspiciously looked like a power plant...hopefully I'm wrong cuz oof...
Loved Mephismon's design, but with Gulfmon they did that thing that they did with VenomVamdemon where he has a second face by his crotch area...don't like that (although he is a centaur, so not technically his crotch)
There were some legit scary moments in this! The car crash scene was pretty violent and Minami screaming as she ran from the lasers also felt pretty intense for a kid's movie. (I haven't peeked at the dub yet, wondering if anything was cut)
I thought the final battle was weak as heck. Phase 1 took like 2 seconds and then phase 2 just felt kinda arbitrary like we were going through the motions. We did get a new attack though (trinity something or other). It felt kind of weird for them to just show that without any acknowledgement, but oh well. I'm sure it'll come back at some point. I was a little disappointed tbh because I thought they were doing some sort of 3-way jogress fusion
The shot with 3D MegaloGrowmon and 2D Rapidmon and Taomon was a glorious 2000s moment
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IDK why but it gave me Power Rangers vibes
Yeah so this felt pretty disposable, they tried to kind of tie things to Digimon Adventure with Omegamon and Apocalymon, but the connection was pretty vague and forced. I rather Tamers just be separate without the callbacks
While I'm a big fan of short runtimes, I do wonder if this one could have benefitted from being a little longer, just to let things breath more
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babymorte · 7 days
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Hey! How have you been ? Are you feeling any better today ? Also what's your go thing you do to relax when you're sick ?
oh my gosh legit i feel like im dying 😅 but thank you for asking!! it went from my chest to my throat to my head/sinuses so im cocktailing the shit out of all these meds 😂 i lost the little cup to my dayquil so I’ve just been chugging it kinda and im pretty sure it’s making me loopy? it’s hurting my tum as least but it makes it so i have a voice so im happy 😂
so it used to be watch old batman the animated series movies and just the show in general or fruits basket and lay in bed with snacks and a handheld but this time ive been planted in my living room watching the resi stream and playing semi along with them 😅 i actually have a colouring book i want to dabble in it just hurts to sit up straight for too long so it’s kind of impossible at the minute 😭
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bladwinthegreat · 11 months
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Even more of my jason procpechy child hc. Today I will going into each line and what they mean because this is legit just me planing out a fic I'll never write at this point.
• a half blood of the eldest gods shall reach 16 against all odds Bc jason turns 16 after the war maybe camp jupiter thought that ment he'd betray them and live bc he betrayed them. Or they thought he'd win the war and live bc they won ( probably thought both since procpechies are werid.) This is why Octavin hates him so much.
• obviously ajson did not betray them so this just means he'll live through the war
• and see the world in endless sleep the mist put mortals near Mount Tam to sleep so they won't witness the battle (having the tatins put mortals to sleep near they're base wouldn't make sense bc they're focusing on new york. This was my solution)
•camp jupiter goes to mount Tam to fight when they see the mortals asleep and assume that was the tatins
• a heros soul cursed blade shall reap jason had a friend who was preator with Reyna. When the battle came he ended up fighting Krios by himself while Jason is fighting some monster. Krios kills him. Jason sees and ends up fighting krios.
•a single choice shall end his days this referes to the friend (haven't decided a name yet) he sees Krios going to attack reyna while her back was turned so he decides to take him on himself
• olympus to persever or raze doesn't need to much explanation obviously jason sends krios to tartar sauce (auto corrected to that but it was to funny not to keep)
• but this also applies to Jason making a choice with venage. He went to attack Krios furious bc of his friends death and kronos tried to manipulate that anger and turn him against the gods (idk how yet maybe it was like woth Percy's dreams or smt) so jason had to make a choice turn against the gods or fight krios.
• the friend was once of reynas failed lovers they both kinda forced the relationship bc Reyna wanted to prove Venus wrong and friend was gay and in denial ( camp jupiter is totally cool with the lqbtq peeps but he grew up in a homophobic family before coming to camp jupiter)
• friend also and a hudge crush on Jason (told Reyna as he was dying who after the giant war told Jason who totally also had feeling for friend but didn't know he was gay until this was told to him)
•Reyna jason and friend were all super close friends
Sorry for referring to this dude as friend the whole time but I haven't decided what to call him yet (or who his godly parent is) so if yall have any ideas give me them
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superblysubpar · 5 months
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You asked for it...
The symbolism of Steve's Clothes/Closet - I must know if it was intentional or organically created because ....
See bullet points below:
- Steve hiding the remnants of his old self (Hawkins sports clothes) in the back could go a few ways... Either hanging onto that part of himself or keeping it for a reminder but the Hawkins gear to me kinda is a placeholder for where he came from - good or bad version of himself. Reminding him of a time he felt successful AND doing something he enjoyed (sports) - not just successful for the sake of success (a fancy desk job). Doesn't matter. Just a reminder.
- Steve legit hiding parts of himself tucked away in the back of that closet that he doesn't want others to see (be it his parents or other friends). Like hiding a huge accomplishment like a COLLEGE DIPLOMA/Grad Pic back there. He clearly uses that space to hold on to pieces of himself that he's either not ready to disclose or share or not ready to let go of.
- The clothes in general. I thought I was reading too far into it, seeing him get more and more casual I was like....nah this boy is not dressing down because he is feeling more at ease, is he? but then you bring it up yourself...when he shows up to Halloween all polished again once *she* is in the picture. Once he's performing again for his parents sake. Reader says herself, he's back to a clean cut, chino wearing yuppie. And she's all like *where did my Steve go? This is not my Steve?* Which in reality was "this is not Steve" (in general) but who are we to know that for real at that point? I feel like not recognizing the man you came to know SO well like that probably was another unconscious tug on the heartstrings that pulled those tears out. Reader knew thats not who he really is at this point and she had no idea why he's marching around like that....
- The arcade chapter... Him just being dressed SO casual and in that hat the way he was - makes me feel like he was right there at the perecipus of this engagement thing but trying hard to not to acknowledge it and let go and tip right back into that persona he knows he'll be wrapped up in for all of enternity. It was the most casual and unfiltered and real I feel like they ever were with each other and it was arguably the most casual I felt they were together. Like it wasn't a show, it wasn't an arrangement, it wasn't part of a plan or a lead up to a good fuck. It wasn't 20 questions to find a way to relate, it wasn't takeout on the couch before or after a hookup, it wasn't a hangout with Robin or Nancy. It was just... Happening.. and I think that's why it was so meaningful and sweet and... Ugh..... 🥰
- Bro is literally cultivating a batman experience in his closet. That is a version of Steve he WANTS to be and doesn't know how to embrace or doesn't feel like he CAN embrace it so he hides it all away. It's tucked in the back with his comfortable clothes and his hats and his life he longs for but doesn't think he has permission to have.
- it's fuckin SYMBOLIC AS HELL that the reader is the one to go to the back of that closet in the story and pull out the sweatshirt, see that yellow sweater, find the parts of him he is hiding away like that. She just crawled into the back and poked around and uncovered parts of him hidden away. JUST LIKE SHE DID IN THE STORY. Like.. she is the one at the end of the day that gave him the confidence and power to say no, to change his path, to quit his job and pursue something he was passionate about, to loosen up and ... Wear the sweatshirt.
And so ends this evenings WCIL notes 📒
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NotcryingnotcryingNOTcrying
So, #1 I can't believe you actually sent this and you've thought about it this much and you are all killing me (in the best way though, like I'm dying and coming back to life revived, idk I've had a lot of espresso today).
I'm trying to like, actually answer this and discuss it but my brain is too busy full of a bunch of emotions dancing around and throwing papers like, the Inside Out people are literally in my brain right now. My Core Memories are turning rainbow and it's chaos, so just hang on for the ride.
So, to answer the first question, it was both? Steve's clothes transformation was like a thing that just sort of happened without being planned until it was a plan, if that makes any sense? Organic and intentional at the same time. But that happened with a lot of things with WCIL. If you guys remember me saying, WCIL was supposed to be this like little 4 part thing - originally I was just gonna like lean into the smut of it all, no real storyline.
Ha!
So as I started to get a better outline, fall in love with the story I was writing more, the more I thought about the things I wanted to bring full circle, the easter eggs, the things I wanted to break down for Steve and reader. And the clothes for Steve just started to happen - like my subconscious writer side of my brain knew where it was going and the other, doubting side, was like wait what are you doing is this important? Yes, now sush.
I just wanted reader and Steve to become exactly who they've always wanted to be with each other. And for Steve, to me, that's absolutely breaking down material things like his wardrobe.
I thought a lot about Steve's wardrobe in the actual series, and how we all love that yellow sweater and the vests he's seen worn only twice, and the Christmas sweater. It's because they're so typically not Steve outfits. There's a reason we all write about him wearing polos and tight collared shirts - because that's Steve's uniform. It's his mask, just like you said. The Christmas Sweater is with Nancy, when he's just you know, fought a demon from another dimension, got a girl he cared about back after real fear of losing her, after apologizing for being an asshole he's always kind of been...he's scared but safe, he's feeling pretty vulnerable. The first time we see the vest? Steve's writing his college admissions essay. He's vulnerable times infinity. He doesn't think he's good enough, he's gonna leave and lose Nancy? He could just stay! Work for his dad. Security. 2nd time? Star court just happened, you know where he was BEAT UP BY RUSSIAN SPIES and almost died? He's with Robin, you know, this girl that HE ADMITTED TO BEING OVER NANCY BECAUSE THIS GIRL IS BETTER FOR HIM AND WAIT SHE IS A LESBIAN LET ME JUST BE HER BEST FRIEND? And he's applying to jobs, knowing full well, he's not getting a new one with his reputation. And season 4 (well we could have a whole discussion about season 4's wardrobe) but the yellow sweater is key. GUYS. YELLOW?! SO BRIGHT? WHO IS THIS MAN? He's thrust back into this scary shit AGAIN. Where was that bright ass color hiding? Why have we never seen him wear it? Why did he choose that day to wear it? And listen, I know that there could be no rhyme or reason to these choices. But to me, every single detail matters in a show or movie. I want to analyze the brands of Toothpaste. I want it all.
So, idk, to me, it seemed as if Steve picked clothes that were just inherently "not" Steve in times of fear, in times he was a little lost. Trying to figure himself out maybe, trying to figure out what *he* liked?
And so yeah, I think he hides these things about himself. I think he's scared to be his true authentic self - he's made all these friends, he's become successful, but would they stick around if he didn't have his job? If he didn't have money? If they knew how much he really loved his favorite movie or the color yellow? WE all know they would. Of course they would. But Steve doesn't know that, not a for sure guaranteed yes, not yet at least. He's absolutely making a little Bat Cave in his closet, you're so right 💛
And yes, the arcade chapter 💛 Steve had every intention of just going over to apologize. He didn't want to have sex. He didn't want to dance around it anymore. He was scared, vulnerable (see my theories on how he dresses when he is like this above cough cough). The arrangement was over. It wasn't a random hook up. They said SORRY to each other, and it happened because they missed each other, THIS version of each other. The competitive flirting, the casual clothes, the laughing so hard you're crying - REAL love. But that's so scary...to just give up everything you think you know, all the security and sure answers you have for something that might not work out, no matter how much you want it to 💛
Thus ends my long winded response that isn't quite a response. I love you 💛💛💛💛
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llocalgoblinn · 6 months
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AHHHHHHHH
Found a submissive on a dating up and about to start a pet play dynamic with him and I feel like my brain is being rewired????? I love subbing, but this feels like I have discovered bread or heroin or something. He's coming by for the first time today for several hours of play and I am legit dying. Hopefully I don't really die, if he murders me I'll be furious lol. But yeah I just feel like I've given my brain the best chew toy of all time.
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