#like oh my god its actually so embarrassing

[chuuyafucks]

Personally idk if I can forgive asagiri for creating two of the most delicately intertwined characters (skk) but putting them in the most unserious piece of media possible (bsd)

#like oh my god its actually so embarrassing #soukoku the bsd spinoff WHEN #bsd #skk #soukoku #bungou stray dogs

[princekirijo]

Imma be honest with you chief this week has not been fun. At all

#oh boy i had a terrible three days time to go tell my tumblr followers about it! #ah no but jokes aside y'all. #i started my job on monday and i actually like it so far! #i haven't done any actual work or anything quite yet cause its all onboarding at the moment #but so far so good! all my colleges are lovely #so you might ask why is this one of the worst weeks of my life? two words #FOOD. POISONING. #this shit is straight up EVIL #im doing better today thank god but yesterday??? omfg #“look im being uber dramatic here but when am i not to be fair” #But seriously #ill try not to go into too much detail but. 10 hrs. yeah. #my throat feels like someone has shoved a metal ball down it #i havent eaten anything today #and I'm missing two days of training over this 😭 #this is so embarrassing first week on the job and boom food poisoning knocks me out for two of them #im gonna be the food poisoning guy 😭 #i hope y'all are having a better time than i am

[ganondoodle]

the way i think about my stories can be so annoying bc there will be a point when i reach a certain story beat after which i dont know how to continue, and the way i do find are usually ... not good .. or i imagine it is not so i think man i cant do that thats so dumb and annoying i gotta think of something better, but then i cant come up with anything better bc once i got a solution to soemthign i cant think of anything smarter- and then i get bored of it as a whole bc man, this really was stupid from the start wasnt it

(this is all some stupid rambling and does NOT represent anythign that will happen in destiny, i swear the actual story with a proper end makes much more sense)

listen to me rambling but this morning i thought about the essentialyl non-canon good "ending" of destiny, a kind of self indulgent dumb lil alternative where everyone lives blah blah, but then of course it cant just end there, bc the end goal of the both of them is to find out the gods plan and secrets and also kill the gods, as you do, then i got a certain point that i found cool (which initially came from the whole thoguht of what if zelda game but you could play demise and it took place after the alternative ending in which the goal is to get rid of the gods) where the fight one of the gods but are kinda losing and as the god is trying to devour demise, as gods do, he abandons his body and his spirit/core, who cant exist without his body so hes still connected through the spirits tail , and climbs through the gods interdimensional weird 'mouth' while its trying to rip him apart to reach the core of the god in a last attempt to take them down with him, while hylia is fighting to keep the god from severing the thin connection he still has to his body but fails just as he reaches the core so the god is killed but his core is immediatelly starting to dissolve and hylia manages to grab his core and put it back into his body and flee from whatever is happeing to that dead god back into hyrule

he survives but is incredibly weak as his spirit has lost half of itself (blade spirits are also forged throguh sacrificing part of their spirit/core permantently but this is besides the point, none of this makes sense anyway), something he obviously hates but cant do anything about really, once a part of their core is gone its gone (not like lost energy but gone gone) but the core is also slowly dissolving further which is a death sentence with no way to act against- then theres a whole quest to .. well, stop that, while hes falling back into self hatred and fear bc hes now so weak that hylia can break his bones without any effort if she were to treat him in any way similar to before and to a deity that all their life was never so fragile, one whos most defining feature IS his power and strength to keep going no matter what, thats gotta be pretty existentially dreadful (and also its a set back to know that they cant just go fight the gods together like that, theres still two more and he cant fight like that)

then i wondered ok what if then, even if the time doesnt quite line up but at this point the entire prophecy cant be done anymore either so everythings out of order, the cloud barrier weakens and zelda is abducted (not by ghirahim) and link goes and tries to find her, but since everythigns not as it should have been he meets hylia and demise (disguised tho) and they immediately know who he is and then go along and try to help link find his friend (hylia does it bc she got the idea to make him find the triforce and wish demises spirit to be restored, since only a mortal can do that and links the most likely candidate to be able to go through the trials of it since he was supposed to already, even if the circumstances are different- demise goes along with it bc hes still trying to deal with essentially slowly dying and not knowing what to do with himself since hes afraid to get into fights or similar, much to his disdain, so hes acting like a companion of sorts, a mentor figure in a way, not knowing what hylias plan is)

i found the idea kinda interesting to have them be like a lil group that goes on links adventured with him, but with strangely intricate knowledge of how the dungeons work, link still doing the heavy lifting but them being there like parents cheering on their kid in a competetion, all the while putting the whole puzzle and dungeon aspect in a way different light bc half of them were never completed (they wanted to escape the prophecy after all) so they all work completely differently, some bosses being maybe some of the gods creatures instead (like the skysw guardians)- the mid journey point being that they find zelda, and who kidnapped her, it being one of the shiekah having most closely worked with hylia before the whole -break the prophecy- thing started (idk if it would be impa .. idea is neat) and is hellbent on making the gods plan work out like it was supposed to, kinda like the inverse of the games plot, so they got ahold of zelda as part of making her into the new hylia (despite hylia being .. right there, but they dont believe it is her truly since the true tm hylia would never betray the gods- ALSO a paralel to how the downfall of demises world worked bc his mortals turned on him after he started destroying their version of the triforce in the belief destroying it would be the only way to save mortals from going to war agaisnt each other for it over and over, mortals believing that their true deity was gone and replaced by a demon despite demise being ..right there)

after link wins the fight and frees zelda from them they in a kind of last effort to do anything against their group they stab demise, normally that wouldnt do shit against him but in his already fading away situation it basically puts him from very slowly dying to actually dying, as a reaction to it hylia kills the mortal (maybe impa idk), which is the first time she does anything like that to a mortal but i like the idea of her being actually super ruthless when it comes to things she cares about

now with a much more dire time limit hylia sends demise back to essentialyl go hide in her temple and try to not die and to trust her having a plan to make this all still work out- he does and once he is away she reveals pretyt much the entire story around why and what is happenign to link and zelda, hylia herself cant go above the clouds as the barrier is still partially up and she cant do anything to reach the triforce either - so she sends link and zelda to go do that, and it works out in the end bc even knowing the truth know, demise was with them on half of their journey so they know and care, he WILL be mad about them wasting their wish on him (even if he is still happy to be alive- i imagined scene where hes watching himself fall apart and die, alone in hylias temple, having to come to terms with the fact that after everything they had went through hed still die alone- it made me cry while thinking about it, yes, yes you are allowed to laugh)

i didnt get that much further but his spirit was essentially reset to when he was in his prime back in the day through the triforces power- something he both likes and despises, it being the gods power of all things that lets him live again, but also lol to use it agaisnt them by giving another chance to the gods greatest enemy- the next plan is of course to kill the next one of the gods but much better prepared, as they cant just go and do the same thign again (neither wants that), one idea was that hylia goes on a secret quest to try and bring back courage (the third deity that demise killed when his world was still thriving) but it involves diving back into the realm of the gods so she doesnt tell him at first, i do think theyd go together in the end, not to fight but to release courage; the whole thing is also an elaborate revenge plot of hylia, how dare the gods do that to him!!

anyway thats most of what i got from that thinking session but its so frustrating bc none of this is even in the actual comic (since it ends in a way that leads into canon skysw, this is some brain fart nooo i want blorbo to live and succeed!!) and its also convoluted and kinda dumb, the idea to inverse the games plot in a way (instead of it being ghirahim trying to bring demise back its someones plan to make the gods prophecy happen no matter what) is neat but i cant have demise almost dying be the thing THREE TIMES, it kinda undercuts his character and is way too much centered around him, all three times also more or less involving it needing help from others to get him back, when his whole thing should be being unkillable bc he jsut keeps refusing to die, also hylia is, as of now in this spaghetti derailment of random thoughts, way too much of a side character, which i dont like, and it all would make people not like demise when im trying to do the exact opposite of that in the main actual comic

i know being super self indulgent and jsut doing what you want is good for the most part but theres a point where it becomes stale cringy fantasies about my blorbo tm and i wanna write at least decent stories- in the end none of this matters anyway as the actual REAL story of destiny is already pretty long and i got no plan to write that alternative 'good ending' anyway and i mostly just thought about it bc "i dont want blorbo to die :(" and "wouldnt it be fun if the entire plot of the game would get messed up and now demise link hylia and zelda etc can all just drink tea together and make plans to get rid of the gods that wanted them all to suffer needlessly"

i probably shouldnt post this as it was really only a vent to get out dumb thoughts from my brain before they poison me into losing interest of the biggest comic project i have worked on so far but i am unable to keep these things to myself so

if you read all of this, im sorry (´。＿。｀)

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #dare i tag it as that #long post #dont read unless you want to cringe #and yes i know even bad art and stories have value #and i know im not as bad as i always think #but this really is the kind of stuff that makes me embarrassed to even be able to think #its all shortened and badly written #but some scenes i got so clearly in my head its like a movie #and those scenes make my brain go wooooooooooooooooo even if they make no sense and i cant fit them together properly #uh oh self doubt #sorry im neither a professional artist nor writer #im autistic with a blorbo and one skill that i only have bc i didnt know what to do with my brains rapid train of thoughts other than draw #big time for “oh no i made people think i am better than i actually am- i am a liar and a cheater oh god” kind of thoughts #the want to just do whatever you want VS wanting to make soemthing of value VS not wanting to embarrass yourself

[charmixpower]

"Do me a favor. I just want to hear you say...that you'll come back. You'll come back...to me."

#ive never seen one of these that included when Musa ran away from Riven when he woke up like a guilty puppy and i need to fix that #her fucking pose. shes so embarrassed. its adorable. she's like ''oh my fucking god did i actually kiss him OH MY GOD AND HES AWAKE NOW'' #also can i just say that Riven's tendancy to trip over his words and repeat himself around Musa is adorable. hes so fucking awkward #winx club #winx musa #winx riven #musa x riven #rivusa #winx gifs #winx club gifs #rus makes gifs #idiots in love #i love them so much #their both so fucking stupid #winx club musa #winx club riven #winx season 2

[perilegs]

i cut several inchess of my hair off (it reached past my shoulders now its back at like. chin/neck length) and no one at work has said anything bc it still looks the exact same

#i went from having hair a bit longer than galebg to like. oh god. raphaelbg.... #but like. with cutting off so much hair + finally gettkng actual proper layers #i havent had a long hair haircut yet i just had whatever my short hair grew into #+ my hair being so much less heavy. it curls more which is fun! #also!!! i can wear my hair back (like the beforementioned characters) instead of just down if i want to bc #i wont be fighting against gravity so much so thats!! fun!!! #also I didnt cut it. i asked a friend of mine to do it #and. tjis is so embarrassing. i showed her a pic of gale and was like. layers. like him. but shorter so my hair is that length in like #january #and she was like on it boss #and bc her and i share one braincell she cut it EXACTLY like i wanted her to #10/10 experience. i usually leave barbershops never wanting to return ever again #leevi talks #sorry for using video game men as hair reference its just they have the same style and texture as my hair so its easy #to compare + theyre known characters so #yknow #i didnt get a haircut bc of them #gale has leevi hair not the other way around #OH ALSO now that my hair is a bit shorter i match with my bestie (who was the one to cut my hair) #so thays so fun too!! #except she has bangs and i dont

[vote2]

i do acknowledge i need to watch what i say wrt gender women men cis ppl etc just augh.

#its like. im a trans man 100% i want nothing to do w being seen as a women i acknowledge that. i also acknowledge that I am putting #literally zero effort in my irl life to present as a guy at all. partially lack of resources and embarrassment etc stuff like that partiall #the autism i literally look in a mirror and see a guy #and i go to class go to work and until soemone explicitally refers to me as a woman i think of myself as a guy. so like its this weird #disconnect of what i actually do vs what i percieve as expieriencing in my daily life where i am objectively living #as a cis woman who just dresses and acts a bit masc. lol. #and like that doesnt bother me atm until i get to a setting where i am gendered frequently. then i feel nauseas etc but whatever ill deal #so i always hesitate whenever i talk abt women feminism men makeup beauty expectations etc (also i am mixed thai and white which #def plays into everyhting ofc ofc) as i dont know rly what is like. not fine idc if i say smthn uncouth just i dont want to at all #seem like im doing what these other trans guys do and latch onto my femininity and 'girlhood growing up' etc or like #its all dumb to me ofc im a feminist i consider anything i speak abt feminism free the nipple being against gender essiantialism etc etc #as in feminism (not that women arent/cant be femnists just in terms of im not trying to sound like a woman) and #ofc growing up as and my current life experiences have obvi had a large impact on myself how i veiw the world my political beliefs and all. #but like. im always scared it sounds like im idr the phrase someone else used but a i dont want to seem like im latching onto girlhood as #a failsafe or whatever. its just mm ykwim its a weird feeling. cause like im a 21 year old man and read my posts as such el oh el. #idk its all weird and idk if its a specific to me thing or whattttt it just like. i feel silly sometimes and i dont want my points to be #misconstrued :) anyways me posting this after rewatching and posting abt pearl has nothign to do genuinly lmfao just timing its been #on my mind after that dumbass trans guy posting abt the lonelyness he feels abt abandoning womanhood #after watching barbie. lol and then i saw someone in the comments of some ig quote it w like 30 replies all positive like get a lifeee #i understand it can feel isolating being trans and everyones relationship back to womanhood is diff and complecated but by god. shut up #anywayyyyyssss mmm okay im done whateverr #maybe all a fear in my head and literally none of this has every crossed anyones mind however it bothers me :(

[cosmic-cd]

i forgot leon & charizard and red & charizard have team-up lines in pokemon masters. i then proceeded to remember my player character has a charizard too

at this point i think i need to give hazel a charizard officially because itd be funny

#cosmo rambles #i could say its the charmander leon gives you in SWSH LOL #trainer hazel is childhood friends with red blue and green/leaf because i decided that was fun- they all have color names #so its not out of the realm of possibility for her to get swept up by accident into some goofy charizard trio #red and leon shaking hands and agreeing on Team Charizard. hazel did NOT agree to this #but you must understand she cannot say no to leon's pleading eyes. and she cant say no to red standing there looking actually excited a bit #she just sighs and buries her face in her hands and goes okay fine #she isnt doing the charizard pose though the embarrassment would kill her #red and leon standing and looking cool and heroic and confident and hazel in the back just #standing there in a charizard t-shirt #blue laughs at her and hazel sics sparks on him #hazel does have an actual sygna suit but its with her kyurem LOL i need to finish drawing that i really gotta #uhhhh while im here hmm hm hm hmmm what else can i say about red blue green and hazel uhhh #hazel met them when her family went on a trip to kanto and thats when she met her pikachu sparks too #it was right before the og trainer trio went on their pokemon journey and hazels family was staying near pallet town #they ended up exchanging contact info and staying friends #well.... for the most part. hazel and blue had a bumpy friendship for a few years #they still butt heads but its like a rival thing now. a rival thing hazel doesnt want to be involved in but blue exudes pure rival energy #oh my god this is so much im so sorry. im full of thoughts

[myloveforhergoeson]

when i tell y’all there is nothing better than getting drunk and watching big time rush with your friends who have never seen it before…

#we watched the movie first and they were like we MUST watch the actual show #except the pilot is gone from paramount mysteriously so we just watched the first few eps after #GOD ITS HAPPENING #i infodumped so hard it was embarrassing but they actually??? listened to me??? oh my god

[saekkas]

rin rin rin i just looked up the word kaiser and it means emperor in german right? so i found out that the wife of the emperor (empress) is called kaiserin

how perfect for you :)

elise, the screech i let out when i saw this was downright horrendous

#u cant say things like this and expect me to be okay 😔 #my neighbor probably thought a pterodactyl was flying by oh god that was embarrassing #tmi but !! rin actually is my real name so :> #quacking shaking hyperventilating but its okay ill have sweet dreams tonight thanks to u #love u mwah #— ; messages to rin #— ; elise

[cables-and-wires]

ohhh my god wait. hold on what mental illness is doing this

#had a moment like an hour or two ago where i like regained awareness but like i was fully awake and aware earlier #but like. different. and then i looked back and saw that i had like a mental breakdown or something and i have only vague memory of it #and i feel really weird abt it bc it feels like i just woke up but i know i was awake earlier but that was different #actually i think its bc im a system but i haven't had this kinda thing happen in a while and its not something i really ever talk abt #sooo . umm . i feel bad for ignoring all my friends today even though i knew i couldnt.be there . i was going to play mario kart 2day #but then i entered the hell zoneee . anyways now that im like actually myself again uhh #if i ever think abt that one person ever again im going to go play in traffic #if i dont pass out soon from hypersomnia im going to work on the 3d modelling projects i kept promising my bestie i would work on #but then got so so sleepy and couldn't do #putting all my thoughts here instead of the dms of my friends because im embarrassed and also its late and i feel bad #normal now thouhg . god i wish i wasn't traumatized #anyways if any of my friends are reading this ummmm . sned me 5 dollar for hamburger please /j 🙏 #OH SHIT MY MR BEANST BURGER ROLEPLAY TOO I FORGOR HOLD ON

[fox-mulder-gets-pegged]

Perhaps... I can have a self insert... As a little treat... Haha jk... Unless...?

#fighting for my fucking life against cringe #as i lay there in bed imagining being dropped into a tv show #like just me as myself rn like well guess ive hopped dimensions and am in a world where this tv show is real #time to use my knowledge of how this season goes to try and prevent bad stuff from happening #oh my god thats so embarrassing and self indulgent im gonna actually set myself on fire #no one look at me #other people can have self inserts and its cool and awesome #but if i do its sooooo fuckin cringe

[holytrickster]

honestly i get embarrassed i don't have like. a single other interest I'm as into because i just know everyone around me is probably sick of it

#idk i probably shouldn't have to feel bad about my interests but i annoy myself like oh my god please read something else talk about.. #..something else. its not like i dont like other media; i think pathologic is really freaking cool even if i havent had the time or patience #to play either game yet; i love derry girls it's a really good show; i have this attachment to firefly despite its issues #it's not like i can't get into other things #but nothing has had the chokehold on me that the legendarium has had/still has years later and it's almost frustrating sometimes #like i used to be really into gravity falls for instance. also cuphead; also bartimaeus and lockwood and co. oh and seraphina #but while i still really like all those things and theyre nostalgic for me; i can't...so easily fall back into those worlds in the same way #maybe it is also kin related but it's almosg like i get embarrassed to be so fixated even though it's been such an enjoyable part of my life #as cheesy as that no doubt sounds. i wouldnt be the same person if somebody (i dont even remember who anymore) hadn't been like “hey.. #“..middle schooler aimenel you should read the hobbit” (actually i think i mightve read lotr first i dont remember anymore) #idk why it bugs me; why im like “oh no people will be annoyed by the constant posts” as if anyone couldnt just unfollow or block #im probably always going to be like this to some extent and i dont know why i cant stop feeling embarrassed by my attachment to certain.. #media. its not even an “oHhH nOoOo its problematic in some ways” thing because i really dont give a shit for the most part #i think its literally i feel like people are going to at a certain point go “arent you too old to like this” #which isnt even going to happen probably so i dont know why i care. i dont know why i care when im honestly cringy as shit all the time #its funny ive becomr someone a much younger me would call cringe and just trying to be special or whatever

[doctapuella]

i painted bruce and his pants

#all i can see are the flaws but that's my eyeballs' problem #bold colors. contrast. clear lines. clothes-related pattern. checking off all my favorite things to paint #this is on the back of another thing and so there was a lot of smudging around the edges which is why i covered them in white paper #SHUT UP RACHEL YOU DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN YOUR THINGS #anyway hi its bruce #its just a silhouette bc i still cant draw people #but i did use a specific pic of him as reference so i still drew then painted him #the torso is all lumpy bc he had his leg up andbc the angle #which you cant tell with just a shadow but it makes sense as the actual pic #oh my god somebody stop me from talking i'm so sorry #i'm gonna put this in myqueue bc i cant bring myself to like click the post button #again! nobody feel like you have to interact with this! #i'm deeply embarrassed! i want to put it on here but i also dont want attention but i also want positive attention only #but i also will assume everyone is lying to me just to be nice #so like. silence and maybe a lil like if you find it in your heart #leaveme alone to my suffering #i made this #queue've got something about you

[onepiexe]

my god. yesterday was a day.

#logbook #we had a tornado watch. wind advisory from 6am to 6pm . . .but it lasted longer lol. #plus between storms overnight a bunch of trees came down and most of the city (widespread city) lost power. #we at work lost power. and we had a delivery come that took an hr and like another half to unload. i didnt even begin to finish checking it #and i ya know. panicked bc i hadnt eaten all day bc no power to heat up food and i was tired and exhausted and stressed. #and i instictively was like. does my sup need to know. and the other admin is like. no. #and im like. oh yeah. yall are just gonna have to count everything and tag it all instead. nad i wont get blamed if its wrong or whatever? #crazy. . .she tried to kindly lecture me on letting things go and i was like. maam. thx. but thats not why it was an instinct response to #all thw bad shit ive dealt with lmao. #im just glad i wont have to work the weekend. even with or without power and all the damage they wont close. have fun guys. #see whatever happens at this nursery is soooooo much better than all the shit ive dealt with at l*wes so like. .im stronger than them in #some regards it seems like LMAO #yeah im a lil embarrassed but also im like. actually no sorry im not going to apologize for panicking bc it'd be genuine anywhere else. #anyways power was out at the house. i didnt eat until like. 6pm augh. #god im so tired. .idk when power came back on but it is. #im alive. . .im so glad for my days off.

[swordwife]

still thinking about forbnite victor.

look at this. look at what he can do.

#when one of my friends said he sounded like my ideal man I almost snapped #oh god looking back now its been a week #finding out The Incident happened the day after christmas is funny actually. here's your belated gift #i'm down turbo bad and i'm beyond embarrassed by it #sey? in feelings for a m@rvel character? what in the goddamn hell. fake news. #but no 😔 sorry #i'm overcoming my self-induced cringe so maybe i'll say more on main who knows hehe

[noriakicatkyoin]

hmmmm kakyoin wip at 12k

#THE FIRST PART OF IT WAS SO BADDDD OH MY GODDDD I WASJUST GONNA REREAD IT RN I LITERALLY HAD TO REWRITE IT #FICS THAT YOU CAN TELL WERE WRITTEN WHEN YOU WERE OFF ANTIDEPRESSANTS LMAO #GOOD FUCKING GOD #it was soso bad imsorry past rohan WHYS IT SO MUCH BETTER NOW ??? WERE YOU INSANE AND STUPID ???? MY GOD #its fine now the rest is either actually half decent somehow or mediocre at worst. i can deal with that #icouldnt read the full intro. it like embarrassed me and i had to scroll away #had to rewrite it and wrote so much more that it collectively added 1k . #i did edit and add to another part though. swagging #i did write the intro as the first thing i wrote for this fic and um. i wrote that like at least a year ago i think lawl. oops… #youve given me unnecessary feelings #im only working on this bc im too tired to be at my computer rn doing real work . its Fine its Fineeee