#like truly no self awareness whatsoever.

[intertexts]

roswell will literally b like "omg why do i feel so terrible why have i been consistently low-level headached and exhausted lately" & then the list of Circumstances is like. Worst month of the fucking year haven't seen the sun for more than a day in months vitamin deficiencies 21 credit semester was sick since xmas & Just finally on the upswing super close 2 Bad Trauma Memories Time Of Year need our fucking wisdom teeth out life has deigned to recreate everyday living circumstances deeply reminiscent of two of the Worst periods in their life hasn't been eating very well work looming over their head threat of getting behind in classes looming over their head crystallized stress of being an undergrad student haven't been sleeping enough chronic fatigue katsup blast. etc.

#like truly no self awareness whatsoever. #txt #neg #gnnnnnnnnn

[wilteddreamsofbaldursgate]

I’m really torn over Ascended Astarion because, yes, he would have you sit naked on his lap like the good little pet that you are (it simplifies a lot of things). Giving you some two-hour-long edgy monologue over his Dark Desires™ (you're just nodding along), while nonchalantly blowing 1000 gold cigar smoke in your face (you haven’t decided how hot you actually think this is).

But on the other hand, it's a given that Astarion would take one drag of the cigar and suffer a violent coughing fit midway through his Ascended Bullshit®, requiring you to fuss over him (not in front of the servants, pet, please!), only to later pretend it never happened (he can pretend all he wants; you won't. Not in private, at least).

The only thing that truly ascended was Astarion's ego; any self-awareness whatsoever went down the ritualistic drain. He can see himself in the mirror again, yes, but he’s blissfully ignorant of the silly little man looking right back at him.

#astarion #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #ascended astarion #baldur's gate 3 #astarion headcanons #baldur's gate astarion #astarion ancunin #look I get it Ascended Astarion is hot #but I just can't take him seriously #he ascended his ego to the very top making his inevitable fall so much worse #because...does anybody believe Astarion would last a year as the high and mighty vampire lord? #I doubt it.

[vasito-de-leche]

;R1999 - Self-Aware AU

Headcanons about an Alternate Universe in which everyone knows they're living inside a videogame. However, Vertin is the only one aware of the entity inhabiting her own mind, the real conductor - the "Player".

this is one of my favorite AUs to slap on whatever media I'm into so here we are <3 not sure if anyone's done this already, but PLEASE PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE link me if you've seen any other ppl write for this AU! this one and any actor AUs are my absolute fave

this is just a word vomit introduction for fun, to get the basic ideas out of my head, so I can start writing for characters individually!

Okay, okay! First of all, some context for the AU before I go deranged overexplaining my HCs!

Aside from the "Storm", there is something else that haunts the people of this world: the fact that their lives are nothing but a simulacrum, part of a game.

The requirements to obtain this "self-awareness" is unknown. Those within the Foundation believe it's related to their respective "roles", that only the main and relevant characters are given the chance to fully open their eyes to the truth. Those within Manus Vindictae claim that one must be strong enough to break through the fog of complacency and their assigned scripts, to have their full potential unleashed and obtain true liberation. Either way, similar to the "Storm", this is a well-kept secret for a very good reason - everyone wants to have the upperhand.

There is one outlier to this whole system. Vertin is not only aware of the truth of this world, but also of her duty as the eyes and hands of the "Player". She must experience it all for their sake. Or rather, whatever she experiences will be the story that the Player will see.

This applies to her suitcase, the place where the Player's influence increases tenfold, bending everything and everyone to their will through her own body and voice. The longer one stays within her suitcase - or within her general vicinity - the easier it is for them to become self-aware.

How does one become "self-aware" and what does it entail?

The requirements and the catalyst for a character to become self-aware are still a mystery. But that's mostly because I specifically wanted to keep them as vague as possible, to allow some flexibility for NPCs and other characters outside of Vertin's suitcase.

The whole process of gaining sentience or self-awareness is mostly described as waking up from a nightmare, or a very, very realistic dream. It's like a switch, something that happens in a second without any warnings whatsoever.

I like to think that most of the people who wake up are easy to spot, because it's a jarring experience and panicking is the most normal reaction - but that they're often taken care of by the Foundation or recruited by Manus Vindictae.

The levels of awareness also depend heavily on each individual - some only know that nothing is truly real, that everything they've done up until that point was just a carefully scripted lie, the most basic realization. Others can understand the rules that govern this game and use them to their advantage, either through observation and study or just inherently.

Overall, the experience of being sentient varies as well, with some describing a disconnect from their body, while others feel exactly the opposite. Again, keeping it pretty vague so that people can fill in with their own ideas!

I'll talk about Vertin's case in detail when we get to her specific bullet point, but the same way the Player is able to experience the "story" through her eyes, she's able to see the same things they do - this includes the UI, the menus and everything you can interact with in-game.

Vertin as a character and a vessel for the Player.

The most common thing I've seen in self-aware AUs in my years of fandom is to turn the player stand-in (the main character that serves for the player to experience the story through and/or project onto, depending on the genre of the game) into an obstacle, one that keeps the characters from truly interacting with the Player, capital P.

The second most common thing I've seen is to simply ignore the existence of this player stand-in and replace it with the Player themself, either through isekai methods or thanks to the customization the game allows, etc etc.

When it comes to Vertin in this AU, I know I want her to retain her role as the center of everything, instead of being sidelined by the Player. She's THE Timekeeper, after all.

There's still some details I'm trying to iron out, like whether she's always been self-aware or if she became self-aware at some point during her childhood at the St. Pavlov Foundation. But I like to think that her relationship to the Player is a parallel to her immunity to the "Storm" - neither of these two things are inherently good nor bad. Surviving the "Storm" is helpful, sure, but it's painful for her. Having an entity like the "Player" haunting her is scary, sure, but it can be an advantage. It's a matter of how she utilizes the assets she was given, since her adaptability and determination are big aspects of her character. Vertin makes up for her mediocre arcane skills with unconventional plans and strategies.

But this isn't to say that Vertin isn't affected by the presence of the Player. Ironically, she's the one person whose freedom is limited. During battles, her skills and Tuning are available to you, they can also prove to be vital to win a fight, but in the end you're still the one calling the shots and choosing when her friends get to attack. You're the one choosing the layout of the Wilderness. You're the one picking which one of her friends deserves to become stronger.

In the last bullet point I mentioned that some characters can understand the rules of the game - Vertin is the most extreme case, as she can see the same UI as you do. She learns the way you like to fight your battles, your own strategies, she can see this and more.

Overall it's a very complex dynamic. It's not as easy as saying that she likes or dislikes you, that she considers you a friend or foe. You're part of her, you influence each other in many aspects and are stuck together for reasons she can't even fathom. While you may be able to read her thoughts most of the time, she becomes invisible once you enter the suitcase - the main menu of the game. Sure, the character you selected to greet you every day is actually talking to her, not you, but she's out of your view and therefore, out of our range. That's when Vertin wonders the sort of person that you are, if you care about her friends as much as she does. Are you playing just to be entertained? Are you invested in these events? Will you be there for her until the end of her story?

Another detail I like to think about is that Vertin is the only one who knows your name. Because at the very beginning, you were asked to input a name and she was there.

[screenshot was taken from this video, since it's the first one I could find that showed this specific part of the game lol]

Well, "your name" not quite right - she knows that whatever you wrote there is the name linked to your account, at least. And that's the name she knows you as.

Those who take residence in Vertin's suitcase or spend prolonged amounts of time with her, growing closer to her and all, end up becoming self-aware. This is a direct side-effect of your presence.

I like to think that characters who reach the 100% Bond can begin to sense the Player, to see the world in a similar way as Vertin does. Maybe even feel their presence EXACTLY like Vertin does whenever there's a battle. There is someone else on the other side of this screen, the fourth wall, who watches over them.

To some, it's hard to differentiate Vertin from the Player, as they just go hand in hand - but Sonetto, for example, has the easiest time telling the two apart.

On the subject of freedom and acting out of script.

The Foundation, Manus Vindictae, Laplace... It doesn't matter if they're self-aware and acting outside of what their script dictates, because they're missing one key ingredient: you. No one else but Vertin and her group knows about your existence, after all.

They don't know that the only story that matters is the one that Vertin is part of. The one that the Player gets to see and read and experience. And because the game gives you a very limited view into the lives of these characters, you don't know what neither Arcana nor Constantine do behind the scenes. You and Vertin don't see that, therefore, it never truly mattered.

Those most likely to start "acting out" are the troublemakers within Vertin's suitcase. Characters who are too curious for their own good, who are more susceptible to supernatural entities, who are just too impulsive - they would start to test the limits and see how far they can go, how much they can interact with the Player. Can the game be broken should they end up shattering the fourth wall? Is there a way for the Player to communicate with them? What will happen to Vertin?

I like to think that Vertin probably supports this, as she's rather curious herself, prone to questioning everything. She would also like to learn more about the Player, to truly tear into the game and see the full extent of your influence and her freedom.

Sometimes, Regulus and X will change their usual voicelines, just enough to be noticeable if one pays enough attention. Characters like Sotheby or Leilani might slip up and address the Player, rather than Vertin. Lilya, Pavia, Bkornblume have new animations and different expressions, ones you've never seen before - they stare ahead, as if searching for something, and then smirk or hum to themselves, deep in thought, like they realized something you're not privy of.

Sometimes, if you leave them as your selected assistant on the main menu, you can catch them muttering to themselves - idle quotes you never heard enough, about the outside world. Diggers does this the most, it's almost embarassing how easy it is to catch him talking nonsense, followed by Sonetto. If you leave Medicine Pocket alone for too long, you might come back to a screen covered in weird scratch marks.

On the subject of these characters being curious about the outside world and all, I think that a good chunk of them are generally content with the way things are?

We have to remember that in-universe, they're arcanists displaced from their respective eras. Their best chance at surviving is siding with Vertin, and if Vertin is content with the way things are, then there's no point in trying to disrupt what they have right now. They're curious enough to prod, but only as far as Vertin allows it.

And I think that's it for the word vomit!

There are some details I didn't know where to fit in, like the possibility of the fourth wall slowly dissipating the more time the Player invests in the game, leading to some characters being able to directly hear you if you talk while playing and whatnot. Or what would happen should someone outside of Vertin's suitcase figure out the existence of the Player, let alone interact with you in some way.

Or the concept of death being meaningless, unless it was pre-established by the game itself.

In Borderlands, there's this game mechanic where you can just be revived over and over and pay a percentage of your money as a fee, even though the canon that's established is that you play through the whole story without dying a SINGLE time - because the revival mechanics aren't canon. There's the divide between story and gameplay. That's pretty much the standard. But what about the deaths in battles in R1999? The amount of times I died to 1.3's UTTU's Flash Gathering is insane. How do self-aware characters feel about this, now that they know that they're bound to die over and over and be brought back because you have to do your Pneuma Analysis or reach the final stage of Limbo?

But that's pretty much it for now, I think I got most thoughts out of my system! Thank you for reading!

#reverse 1999 #reverse: 1999 #reverse 1999 x reader #self aware au #'mod six what are you going to do with this AU?' #probably write more reader inserts for FMN and pavia lmfao #i just wanted it out of my brain and onto a post #i like to think about things in-depth but thats it #and just like the hanahaki nsr au. feel free to fuck around with this concept! discuss it or make up your own HCs! #tag me if you wanna bc i love to read. but no need to credit me

[trashytoastboi]

Day of Faith - Simeon

~NSFW Alphabet~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warning: NSFW content ahead (whole bunch of this and that)

A = Aftercare (What are they like after sex?) 

🖋️ He’s calming, he’s intent on bringing you down from your high gently and he enjoys talking to you, and trying not to let you go into your own thoughts. He’s quick to offer to clean you up and wants to change the bedding so you’ll feel more comfortable. After a bit of cleaning up, he’s bringing you some tea and cuddles you while playing with your hair and rubbing your back. 

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partners.) 

🖋️ Simeon really struggles to answer this question because it’s difficult to choose something about you that he likes more than the rest, if he had to answer he’d say hands. He likes your hands, and holds them whenever he cums. He also likes when you touch him, caressing his body or giving him a handjob. 

🖋️ He doesn’t have a favorite spot on himself or at least he hasn’t thought about it, he enjoys being able to kiss you and hold you. He adores being able to make you feel good and using his body to do so. But he utilizes so many different parts of himself to achieve that, so his final answer would be whatever makes you feel good in the moment is his favourite.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically) 

🖋️ He’s so shy about his preferences, he’s had a few occasions when he felt too good and didn’t pull out in time and came inside you. He kept apologizing and was so embarrassed by it, probably even more by the fact that it actually turned him on so much to see his cum making a mess between your legs. If he does pull out then he’ll cum on your stomach. He cums a lot too and feels the need to apologize for it even though you tell him it’s really alright. Secretly wants to see you swallow but he doesn’t know how to ask. 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs.)

🖋️ He's not exactly happy that you’re overly aware of his status as an angel. Well he is, and he encourages you...wishes for you to stain him and ruin him. He tells you he will be fine. Simeon knows he might even lose his wings. Indulging in a carnal sin, willingly partaking in the sin of the flesh and wanting more. You always give him the sweetest kisses, the most chaste and undemanding. You don't cross the boundary aside from the innocent intimacy he could afford. Simeon felt complicated. He appreciated it, truly. How loyal and sweet. His darker desires grew daily, exploring all the foreign pleasures and indulging in the delicacies of lustful urges. Maybe he had a budding corruption kink, with him on the receiving end. He'd gladly fall to hell just to have you in your entirety. Blood, body and soul. He couldn't forgive himself for having such thoughts, but he could beg for punishment especially if you were one to punish him. Even as the odd feather of his wings turned black as a warning to stay on the straight and narrow path. Simeon persisted, simply plucking the feather and forgetting it. 

E = Experienced (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

🖋️ 0 experience whatsoever. Even the knowledge he does possess is more along the lines of what you would find in a biology textbook. He knows the purpose but not the pleasures. You were kind enough to not push him into anything. Simeon was the one who asked, and wanted to take things further. He’d pleaded for you to teach him about pleasure and how it feels. He’s convinced that it only feels as good as it does because it was you who taught him

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)

🖋️ “There’s something other than missionary?”  He’s an innocent bean and isn’t aware of how many ways and means there are in practicality. 

🖋️ Missionary - It's his favourite and the only one he really knows how to do. It’s intimate and he can hear your every sound, see your every expression and hold you close while he’s kissing you. He can hide his face in your neck when he’s getting close, his movements never really get fast but he speeds up just a little to push himself over the edge. 

🖋️ Spooning - One of his favourites from the ones you’ve taught him about. He likes it because he’s so close to you, holding you. Loves this position in the morning when you’re both still a little sleepy and just want something slow and sweet.

🖋️ Cowgirl - This one still makes Simeon blush every time you get top, you just know how to make him feel so good when you’re riding. He prefers sitting up and holding you close, resting his head on your chest, maybe sucking your nipples while he’s whining every time you tighten around him. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? Etc)

🖋️ He’s serious because he’s going max concentration. Simeon is so dead set on making you feel good that’s all he’s thinking about and sometimes you’ll cradle his face, giving him a soft kiss to bring him back to the present, calling him endearing terms that make him happy and he mellows out a little. He gets a little less serious and rather concentrates on enjoying the moment with you. 

H =  Hair (How well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? Etc) 

🖋️ Well groomed, not a short trim but not unruly either, somewhere in between and has a natural feel to it. His hair is darker than his hair above but that’s normal. He did like that you preferred him not being clean shaven, he’d seen some horror stories about awful razor rash and nicks from completely shaving and he’s thankful he doesn’t know those woes. 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect) 

🖋️ He holds onto you as if you’re about to disappear. You’ve never experienced anything less than absolute intimacy from Simeon, he’s kissing you, whispering praises, telling you how much he loves you and tightening his hold on you. You don’t think it’s possible for him to ever do anything less, you’re thankful. It makes you feel loved and safe in his arms. He finds security in it too and he’ll legitimately sulk if he can’t hold you the way he wants to. If you’re riding for example and won’t let him hold you or lend a helping hand. You’re just wanting him to rest and feel good but he wants to hold you, so you eventually give in. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation Headcanon)

🖋️ This was a new one for Simeon, being intimate with you is one thing but this was another. He was utterly sheepish when he admitted that he didn’t really understand how to do it.  At least not in a way that felt as good when you touched him. So you taught him, softly talking him through what to do, what to imagine, how to touch himself. You refused to touch him, wanting him to make himself cum. You thought Simeon was so adorable the closer he got and kept hesitating to push himself over the edge. 

K = Kink (One or more of the kinks)

🖋️ He’s really vanilla and doesn’t really understand kinks, he prefers just being soft and intimate with you. :( :( 

🖋️ The only thing you can really identify as a kink, is a voice kink. Your voice can get him off, if you’re whispering something dirty in his ear and he’s so close to cumming he might just come without having to touch himself. He’s so obsessed with listening to your voice during your time together, he loves hearing you whine, say his name and moan for him. 

🖋️ Mutual masturbation - Something he regards as kinky this only came about when you were teaching him about masturbation and he needed a demonstration and maybe a visual to help him, you were more than happy. 

🖋️ Corruption kink -  Learned about a corruption kink while reading up about it on his D.D.D and then messaged Levi to ask how to delete search history. Simeon is wholly convinced he’s got a corruption kink but specifically for wanting to be corrupted by you. 

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

🖋️ His room or your room. He wants a place where there’s no chance of being interrupted or disturbed. He hasn’t even considered doing public stuff and hasn't even thought about doing it in a shared area of Purgatory hall. He always makes sure the door is locked and knows that he can give all his attention to you with no worry of someone disturbing you too. He’s slowly growing bolder in his comfort zones.  

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going?)

🖋️ He doesn’t pick up on hints or subtle glances and signs. Simeon needs you to be clear about your intentions. It’s not rare when Simeon is acting coquettish, he adores when you meet him halfway and pick up on what his little signs and desires are. Give him kisses, deeper and insistent. Those that leave nothing to be misunderstood. He wants to feel your desire and there’s nothing that quite gets him going like knowing you want him. 

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

🖋️ Spanking, choking, caning - anything that inflicts physical pain on you. Simeon can’t fathom doing that to you, he couldn’t hurt you even if it was for a ‘scene’ as you’ve explained before how people do it for pleasure. He admits that he’d just feel way too bad about hurting you and he wouldn’t be able to enjoy the experience. He’s really soft and gentle in his lovemaking and anything too rough is just off the table. 

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

🖋️ Simeon was still a little clumsy when giving, and shy when receiving. He prefers giving and he is messy about it. He doesn’t mean to be but you seem to enjoy it more than when he’s being reserved. Simeon always starts slow, careful, and the more you respond the more he forgets his reservation and just goes for it. It’s so sloppy and you just didn’t expect that from the angel, he’s happy that you’re feeling good though and that’s all he’s focused on. If you want to see Simeon get so lost, and even messier than he already is, suggest a little 69. 

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc) 

🖋️ Simeon rarely ever gets fast about it and rough isn’t in his nature. When he grabs you it’s more desperate than anything, it never hurts and you’re assured that he’s not going to leave bruises on you. In the rare case he does adopt a faster pace it’s nothing hardcore and it takes a lot of encouragement for you to actually get him to speed up. He’d keep checking in to make sure you’re fine. If you’re feeling good he gets happy because he’s doing something right. The only time you really get to experience hard pace is when you’re riding and Simeon is losing his mind underneath you. 

Q = Quickie (They opinions on quickies, how often etc)

🖋️ Simeon is easy to pick apart, quick to finish if you’re deliberate about it. Whenever you’re in a time crunch or maybe he wants a little something without it turning into a whole thing then quickies are great. He does feel they lack a certain romance to them because the goal is to get from point A to B as fast as possible and you do make quick work of him. Always. Simeon is still trying to learn how to do the same for you, he needs a helping hand and guidance. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? Etc)

🖋️ He’s keen to learn, but the mere mention of things that stray a little off the vanilla path have his eyes opening wide to the whole undiscovered territory. You have to ease him into things, slowly and start with the tamer stuff. It’s rare but sometimes Simeon does come with requests, to find out about something before deciding if he wants to try it. He’s got a cute curiosity to him and he’s so excited to learn something new. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

🖋️Doesn’t last the longest, and you know it’s 90% eagerness that gets him hard again for another round. At most can do about 3 rounds before he wants to tap out. He’s got the enthusiasm, and quick recovery so you can say he’s pretty good in the stamina department. The first time you were together Simeon came so fast he didn’t even get to put inside yet, thankfully after a bit of comforting from you to ease his embarrassment he was good to go. 

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or on themselves?)

🖋️ Simeon doesn’t own any toys nor does he have any experience with them. He’s asked you about them and if they really add anything. You’ve explained that they can enhance the experience with a partner or be a great help to getting yourself off if you’re alone. You decided the best way to teach Simeon was to show him and ended up gifting him a fleshlight (He combusted) He wanted you to teach him and so while you were sliding the toy along his cock, Simeon was trying to catch his breath when you milked another orgasm from him. 

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease?)

🖋️ Ends up teasing a lot even though he doesn’t mean to. He gets side tracked while touching you one place, then another and then another. He hasn’t quite learned how to multitask all the ways and means as of yet. So by complete accident he’ll end up teasing you and getting you so hot and needy that you’re begging him to just let you cum and he’s so serious about making you cum. 

V = Volume (How loud they are? What sounds they make? Etc)

🖋️ Desperate whines, whimpers and really pretty moans. He’s loud and has to keep reminding himself to be quieter or else someone is gonna catch you two. He’ll muffle his moans by kissing you, burying his face in your neck or biting his lip. If he’s desperate he’ll place your hand over his mouth. He loves calling your name a lot when he’s at the height of his pleasure and just lets out the sweetest whines you’ve ever heard.  

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character?)

🖋️ Simeon likes when you take control. He’s so good and he listens soooo well. If you tell him to touch you there, he will. Kiss you here, he’s on it. Lick this, stroke that- Simeon listens to instructions really well and he’s starting to learn how to pleasure you thanks to it. He loves hearing your voice, heavy laden with pleasure and moaning when you talk him through things, how you encourage him and praise him, petting his hair, digging your nails in his back, wrapping your legs around his waist, crying his name. It’s so encouraging and it turns him on a lot. 

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes?)

🖋️ He’s a big boy - pleasantly. He didn’t compare himself to others and didn’t really have reference to knowing about his size. When you were surprised saying he’s big- it was a first for him. Dare you say he was blessed. He’s a grower, he only gets bigger (you’re not complaining… okay maybe a little if you haven’t prepped enough) Dark, and pretty brown tip. He’s long and girthy, lots of veins that are really sensitive when you lick them. He’s got more girth towards the bottom and it narrows towards the top.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

🖋️ Moderate yearning, he’s able to ignore most of his urges. MOST. Not those caused by  you were teasing him. He’s so easily turned on by you and he’ll try to ignore it but you make it so hard when you’re acting all adorable and innocent. Pretending that you didn’t brush your fingers against his thigh or accidentally bump against Simeon and just so happen to touch the bulge forming in his pants.  

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards?)

🖋️ Three rounds in and it’s taken out of him. He can really do with a nap- or just some sleep. Honestly he gets pretty eepy and it’s cute. If you want to convince Simeon to come to bed and he refuses, just give him a little head until he’s so relaxed and focused on your mouth. After cumming he’s usually sleepy enough to take a nap. He’ll enjoy it if you snuggle up to him too. Especially after sex he doesn’t want to be alone and wants you near.  

Taglist: @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf @roninfromtheops

#trashytoastboi #obey me #seven days of sin event #simeon #obey me simeon #unholy toast #male reader #female reader #gender neutral reader #simeon x reader #obey me nightbringer #om! nightbringer #unholy toast alphabet

[codename-adler]

My AFTG take is that I'm actually baffled by how little people see the Riko/Kevin dynamic as having a sexual undertone. Like they were romantically involved in previous drafts of the story and for me it shows? And I don't even mean as they necessarily being exes or even an unrequited love situation, I just think Riko comes off as someone who feels entitled to ALL of Kevin. They are sooooo toxic codependent teen girl friendship to me.

(prefacing this by, again, admitting to not reading the EC. it's starting to feel a lil shameful in here... but i'm stubborn like my mama (she's actually not, that's just what the father says) so i'm still putting that off for as long as i can)

you is absolutely right. it's not a coincidence AFTG's antagonist is a man who has no concept of boundaries whatsoever, and that the main characters, and main couple, are people who have been severely hurt and traumatized by others disregarding their boundaries. it's the whole goddamn shtick of the story.

Riko knows no limits. i don't even believe he knows he can, and should, have his own. "no," "stop," "too much," "wrong," and "boundaries" are simply not part of his vocabulary, and i mean that. these words mean nothing, represent nothing; they're completely foreign, because he hasn't been taught, hasn't been shown, what their meaning is. nobody ever told him no, but nobody ever heard his no either. nobody ever told him to stop, but nobody ever stopped when he told them either. so when you give him a team, when you give him a toy, a pet, a companion, it's only natural he does unto them what he's only ever known. and i'm not saying that to take away his responsibility, to pity him. i'm trying to articulate how genuinely he believes he has access to another person. Riko is terrifying because he truly knows no limits. he cannot be taught. he cannot be changed, persuaded, helped. not in the short time the story unfolds. everything is happening so fast, Riko is so unrelenting, the threats are coming from everywhere and taking Riko in, helping him and undoing his toxic psyche is just not a viable option.

and so with Kevin... Kevin being the only remnant of normalcy and good Riko has been allowed to keep from his childhood? but Kevin refusing to be the way Riko is? it's an exposed, raw nerve begging to be pulled. does Riko keep digging deeper into his monstrous self in the hopes to corrupt Kevin? or is to force Kevin to watch and hope, despite all, that he'll still stand by his side and love him? Kevin does not know how deep his claws are buried into Riko. he doesn't even know he has claws, and much less powerful enough to grip the entity that is Riko. but Riko knows. imagine being a limitless man whose one thing holding him back isn't even aware it's doing so. imagine having the one thing you could consider your other half not giving his all like you do in everything. you go mad. and you don't care. you go all the way, because it's the only way you know how to do anything.

the lines from psychological violence and manipulation to physical violence to sexual violence are only lines to us. to Riko it's all a blur of the same thing. to Riko it's not even violence, it's the natural way things go. they're not "new" methods of torture; if one goes, anything goes, it's only a matter of what is available to him in the moment. everything is dark, everything is toxic, everything is pain.

"Riko comes off as someone who feels entitled to ALL of Kevin."

yes. that's exactly it. you cannot reason with him why certain things he is not allowed to have when Kevin has given him other parts of himself. why couldn't he touch Kevin like this when Kevin has given him his game? why couldn't he be allowed to have Kevin like this when they share a locker room and public showers? why could Thea kiss him just so and make him moan like that and not him? Riko does not know the difference. does not understand the intricacies, does not see the nuances. his world is divided in this is mine and this isn't mine yet.

and Kevin. Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. a childhood with Riko and a passion for the game is not enough to justify the tension he's got with Riko. but that's the Nest for you. it's not called a cult for nothing. the tension tumbling into sex or sexual is inevitable. Riko managed to break Kevin's mind, break his game, his body. all that Kevin can get back with the Foxes. but a broken heart? a broken intimacy? only Riko has that powerful hold on Kevin. only him could potentially heal Kevin. but the thing is, he doesn't see those things as broken. they're simply done, and his.

Andrew's promise to Kevin wasn't to physically take on the Moriyamas. it was to push Riko out of his head when things got hard. Riko is so deeply embedded into Kevin's being, his veins, his stomach, his back, his tighs, his hands, his eyes, his neck, his chest. Riko is so much part of Kevin that Kevin himself starts to fade, and when his feet take him back towards Evermore, it's not because Riko's voice convinced him to, it's because Riko is in Kevin, and Riko belongs in the Nest. that is what Andrew has to protect Kevin against. that is the job he's been dealt: untangle Riko from Kevin.

#this dark stream of consciousness has been brought to you by effexor withdrawal and garlic sauce #i just really elongated anon's perfectly worded take #aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #kevin day #riko moriyama #aftg ask

[roryleighgilmorehuntzberger]

I know the prevailing sentiment around here is that Lorelai is very similar to Jess and dislikes him in part because she sees in him the worst and/or more repressed aspects of herself, but imo Lorelai is vastly more similar to Logan. In no order whatsoever:

Both Lorelai and Logan were raised in privileged families who had restrictive expectations of them

2. Both rebel while still often benefitting from their family's wealth and status

3. Logan and Lorelai are both sociable, charming extroverts (Jess is very much not!)

4. Logan and Lorelai both distract themselves with sensory pleasures---sex, alcohol, last-minute adventures etc---to avoid facing certain harsh realities. Jess, like Rory, is more likely to detach.

5. Logan and Lorelai are both spontaneous, adventurous people whose infectious life-loving enthusiasm encourage the introverts around them to try new things and break out of their usual routines

6. Logan and Lorelai may seem sociable and 'popular,' but both have VERY few people they can truly trust, rely on and confide in

7. Both Lorelai and Logan help others take life less seriously while frustrating their families and others by not taking life MORE seriously

8. Both Logan and Lorelai have the capacity to become focused, passionate 'work dorks' when they find something that genuinely interests and inspires them

9. While not naturally studious, Logan and Lorelai are both extremely bright, quick-witted people who are more aware of their environment than someone who tends to live in her head like Rory (and me lol)

I could go on and on, but I really think Lorelai is far more similar to Logan than she is to Jess. Imo, Lorelai is wary of Logan initially because she sees him as part of the world she made such an effort to depart from when she became pregnant and perceives a certain restlessness and wild streak she dislikes in herself.

I also see differences between Logan and Lorelai, of course---Lorelai's circumstances forced her to become responsible and hardworking a lot earlier in life than Logan did. Logan is imo a lot more adaptable and willing to change while Lorelai is very obstinate and often not amenable to compromise. I also think Logan is more honest, self-aware and arguably the best communicator on this show, while Lorelai deflects, represses etc.

TL;DR - Lorelai is actually a lot more similar to Logan than she is to Jess, at least in this one fan's opinion :)

#gilmore girls #logan huntzberger #lorelai gilmore #rory gilmore #i know no one is likely to see this but i just always felt lorelai and logan were much much more similar than lorelai and jess

[luna-writes-stuff]

Eternally Missed, Bilbo Baggins

Song link

Fanfic, fem! reader

Fluff, mutual pining/oblivious reader

Word count: 3295

Tw: Not proofread. Race not specified, but could be implied as dwarvish. Self-degrading thoughts, mutual pining. Will they, won’t they. Slight angst. Misinterpreted feelings and actions. Oblivious reader, oops. That’s it?

Summary: Ever since laying eyes on your first, Bilbo knew it was you who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He tries to make this clear incredibly quick, fully aware of how little time he may have. But you were as oblivious as they came, and dismissed his proposals as platonic gestures. Until finally, he snaps, and just decides to tell you.

Buy me a coffee/force me to write more

“Chase your dreams away.

Glass needles in the hay.”

Throughout the journey, you could only be described as truly oblivious. Maybe not in your eyes, but definitely in those of the company. Their beloved burglar had fallen absolutely head over heels with you, yet there was something within you that simply seemed to not acknowledge it.

In hindsight, you might have seen it, or might have had a slight idea of what was happening, but the last thing you wanted to do was to get your hopes up. Thus, it was mere matter of a polite smile and dismissal without making it sound like a dismissal. You didn’t want to let him down, even though you had no idea of his true intentions.

You see, during the entire time of your travel to Erebor, Bilbo has tried to make it abundandly clear how fond he is of you. But between the running from imminent death, enemies luring around every corner and getting imprisoned every once in a while, the moments were never opportune enough. It didn’t mean that he didn’t try, but clearly, the ambiance was wrong. If he ever wanted to court someone, he’d propose it in his garden, under the clear nightsky of Hobbiton with a warm breeze in the air. Not after recovering for breath after having to run for thirty whole minutes, or in the dirty atmosphere of the Goblin caves. But fate did not seem to be on his side whatsoever. But he was nothing if not adamant.

“The sun forgives the clouds.

You are my holy shroud.”

The first time wanted to make his intentions clear during your stay in Rivendell. The dwarves had been bathing when he approached you, doubt and anxiety apparent in his features - but then again, when wasn’t it?

He had sat down next to you on one of the balconies, talking about anything but the mountain and the now known presence of the orcs. He had spoken about his home in the Shire fondly, recounting many tales of friends and neighbours. It was a nice distraction after the adrenaline of the travel had worn off.

In turn, you had spoken about your home and those waiting for you. He remembered the hesitance in his voice when he asked you about a suitor. You hadn’t even properly answered him at that to begin with. At first, you began to laugh, and talked about your parents. He thought you were mocking him, even though that was extremely unlinke you. But when you continued to rant and talk, it appeared to him that you had no idea what he was actually asking you. And he didn’t have it in him to correct you or to properly ask you. Perhaps it was a bit too early. You just met a handful of days ago.

Fortunately, he did not leave it at that.

“I just don't care if it's real.

That won't change how it feels.”

The second time he tried was when the group was making their way out of Rivendell. He had gotten some good rest and found himself comfortable enough to bring the conversation back up.

But you were distracted. He couldn’t tell back then, but he certainly could now. The talk with Bilbo had left you somewhat homesick. The comfort of Rivendell was almost begging for you to stay. You wanted to help the dwarves - more than anything, but you understood the comfort hobbits sought in their own homes.

You had given him brief, one-worded answers, your gaze absent. It had broken his heart that day. If you weren’t making your disinterest clear the day before, you certainly had then. It caused him to be silent for the rest of the travels until you crossed the mountains. Much to his relief, you stayed close to him, and didn’t part during the fight of the giants, but the new hit of adrenaline caused him to cling to you the entire time, a mutual action. Neither of you had realized how close the two of you were until you were roughly separated after a rough boulder collided between the two of you.

“I just don't care if it's real.

That won't change how it feels.

No, it doesn't change.”

That night in the cave you kept circling Bilbo. He had almost fallen from the cliff if it hadn’t been for Thorin. And the idea made you inexplicably sick. You liked Thorin, even as he had been harsh from the start, but the fact that you weren’t able to dangle off the cliff to save Bilbo had left you feeling somewhat powerless. And the only comfort you could offer the hobbit was your company and your tales.

It had caused his hopes to resurface again. Of everyone out there, you wanted to sit with him, and talk with him. Perhaps your absent answers were simply because you were tired, or too focused.

He didn’t know how to bring the topic back up, though. It had caused an awkward silence after you finished your talk. He still couldn’t quite tell if he was grateful for the floor to - literally - fall through or not.

“And you can't resist

Making me feel eternally missed.”

The first time he swore he could have kissed you, was after Azog’s confrontation with Thorin. The battle had left the king defenseless, and you had rushed to his aid. At your actions, Bilbo blindly followed, making sure his eyes were on you constantly. The eagles had come just in time to sweep you off to safety, but the entire flight had left him nauseous. If it wasn’t for Gandalf, both you and Thorin would have lain on that floor, completely lifeless. To make matters even worse, you had landed on a different eagle. So, Bilbo had no choice but to simply sit there with a heavy feeling in his stomach until he could finally stand again.

And when he did, he rushed towards you. This could have been his moment. He could have swung his arms around your waist, pulling you close to him, his lips finally touching yours in a manner he was only able to dream off, but when you stood a few inches from him, something in him had told him to stop.

In that moment, you swore he was going to kiss you. Instead, he gave you an uncomfortable hug, followed by two brief pats on the back. He had turned around immediatelym refusing to let you see his reddening face, leaving you with a slight frown. If he was going to kiss you, you might have just let it happen.

“And you can't resist.

And you can't resist.

Making me feel.”

The rest of the journey had been awful for him. In his mind, that awkward reunion kept lingering. His chance had been right there and he refused to take it for whatever reason. And to top it all of; you seemed to grow more distant from him, and it hurt him deeply. It bothered him so much, that eventually, the company began catching on. Fili was the first one to notice, and had given him a good talk about courtship and whatnot. It was all in good nature, but it had left Bilbo with more details than he might have wanted.

But simple hints in conversation seemed to not do the trick. And maybe dwarven courting ideals weren’t the best, but they were certainly worth the try. When he made his first move according to Fili’s advice, more dwarves began to catch on.

“Chase your dreams away.

Glass needles in the hay.”

He had taken his sweet time hunting down anything he could find. Food, especially for you, to prove that - in Fili’s words - he could provide. But when he had a chance of slaying a rabbit, he didn’t have it in him. Instead, he came back with fresh mushroom, some non-poisonous berries and leaves that would make an excellent soup. It wasn’t hunting, but it still gave him the idea that - yes; he could provide.

You didn’t think much of. You find it nice, and thanked him fondly for it. Yet, there were others in the company that might have been hungry, so you gave it to Bombur, so he could use it in his meal for the group. Bilbo had told you this was okay, but he couldn’t help but feel slight heartbreak when you asked him.

He wasn’t being clear enough. Stupidly enough, he seemed to take comfort in Fili’s words, so he had returned to him that same night, telling the dwarf about what had happened. He agreed that you might just need some bolder insinuations. So, it was time for the next part.

“The sun forgives the clouds.

You are my holy shroud.”

It was at Beorn’s house when he approached you with a small wooden sculpture he made. It couldn’t have been bigger than your palm. It was sloppy and crude, and nowhere near the excellent craft of the dwarves, but Fili assured him that it wouldn’t matter if the feelings and intentions were true. He had tried to create the birds you mentioned in your tales about home. You would speak about them fondly when he asked how your place was.

Again, you accepted the gift with much glee, thanking him an endless amount of times. A warm hug was shared - one that would remain in Bilbo’s mind for a long time. It was soothing, unlike the uncomfortable embrace shared upon the rock. This was heartfelt, and genuine. He remembered thinking that this was it; you had accepted.

But, you stuffed it in your pocket, promising to keep it close, before showing it off to the rest of the company. And that was it. No other words mentioned to him, or even slight hints that you were catching on. You seemed to remain oblivious. Now, Bilbo truly couldn’t tell whether this was because you simply had no idea what was happening, or if this was your way of letting him know you weren’t interested.

“I just don't care if it's real.

That won't change how it feels.”

There were so many more times where he tried to make his feelings clear. Countless conversations were held, more gifts were shared, he fought at your side, he would continue to bring you food, even if it was to be shared with the company. And you didn’t seem to catch on to anything.

What Bilbo hadn’t known was the true moment of the defeat you held whilst imprisoned by the woodland elves. Bilbo hadn’t known how you had been sitting against the wall in your cell, your knees up to your chest. He didn’t hear your own degrading words circling around in your mind about how you were just making things up. About how someone as sincere and kind as Bilbo could never show true interest in someone like you. How you had cursed yourself to stop thinking every gift he gave you, was to show you he wanted to court you - even though you were right to think those things.

The dwarves didn’t dare to speak about it. They didn’t know your words, but they knew your looks. They wouldn’t intervene. They knew how precious and fragily courtship was; one wrong word and it could cause huge grief on either side. Women were most treaured in their culture, and they’d rather die than see your heart break into a million pieces if Fili were to slip up or Ori would say something out of their norms.

They didn’t dare to let Bilbo know how helplessly you had told them that Bilbo wouldn’t come for them. That he was off to safety - as you had wished.

“I just don't care if it's real.

That won't change how it feels.

No, it doesn't change.”

It wasn’t until Smaug had finally been slain that Bilbo decided enough was enough. It wasn’t until Thorin had gone completely mad, that he decided that now would be the excellent time to share yet another one of your precious conversations.

Somewhere in the treasure chamber, you had collapsed behind a huge golden pile. Here, Thorin couldn’t see you. A brief break would surely escape his eyes.

You had shot up at the sound of footsteps, pretending to be searching through the endless piles of jewels. You were tired; your muscles were aching, your head was pounding from the golden light, you were starving and you felt as if you were going to fall asleep if you were to lie down again.

When you noticed Bilbo’s form approaching on top of the mountain you were working on, you uttered a sigh of relief, collapsing once again, knowing he wouldn’t dare to alert Thorin of your short break.

“And you can't resist

Making me feel eternally missed.”

“There you are,” He spoke, not needing to lower his volume, as the clattering of gold bounced off the walls, drowning out enough noise. You looked up at him with a kind smile: “Not much else to go to.” He frowned, sitting down beside you as he studied your features.

“I’m sorry, Bilbo,” You sighed, rolling your shoulders. “I’m exhausted.” “I can tell.” He muttered, worried evident in his eyes, a glimpse you caught. “Sorry.” “No, it’s fine.” You dismissed, knowing he had no ill intentions. Silence fell over the two of you, though this one wasn’t uncomfortable. In the weirdest location, it brough some sense of peace.

Bilbo fished into his pockets, placing a piece of bread and a small flask on your lap. “I brought you this.” Your heart warmed at the sight, a feather-light feeling entering your chest: “Thank you,” “I couldn’t sneak a full plate in. Thorin would notice.” “This is fine, Bilbo,” You assured, immediately starting your small meal. ”Thank you.”

“Yes,” he mumbled.

“You can't resist.

You can't resist.

Making me feel.”

He didn’t quite know what to do when you were eating. He came here with the intention of being honest with you. No turning around anything, no sugar-coating, just the proposal. If it was to be brief and boring, than so be it.

But, once more, something held him back. It didn’t seem right. He was going to run off this night for the Arkenstone, so if you rejected him, he wouldn’t really have to face you afterwards. But a hurtful rejection followed by betrayal might not have been the smartest move either. He was too much in his head when the words suddenly flew out, even surprising him: “Do you like me?”

You stopped chewing at the words, swallowing harshly as you looked at him, confusion in your eyes as your eyebrows furrowed together: “Beg your pardon?”

“You can't resist

Making me feel eternally missed.”

Bilbo recovered quickly, coughing slightly as he tried to defend himself. “It’s just that, throughout the journey, you keep creating distance between us. And we were so close at the beginning.” You nodded your head at that, cursing yourself silently for giving him the completely wrong idea. “Yes,” You hissed. “I do like you, Bilbo. And I apologize if I gave you the wrong impression.”

A huge weight lifted off his shoulders at your words, his chest suddenly feeling a lot less restricting than it suddenly had.

“You can't resist.

You can't resist

Making me feel.”

He watched your hands wander to your pockets, pulling out a familiar pebble as you anxiously toyed with it. Bilbo had given it to you after your escape from Mirkwood. You seemed to not be there completely, so he gave you a rock from the river so you had something to fidget with while Balin talked to Bard. He hadn’t known how much it actually soothed you, if only for the simple though of it.

“You kept that?” He asked curiously. “Of course I did,” You smiled, taking the pebble out of your pocket and laying it in the palm of your hand. “It was a gift. What did you think I would do with it?” “I don’t know.” The hobbit spoke honestly. “I’ve never seen them after I handed them to you.”

You breathed an ‘ah’ of understanding, before storing it back in your coat. “I kept them in my bag. Most of it has been stolen by the elves now, but some things still remain. You didn’t think I’d get rid of them, right?” When he didn’t answer to that, your hands found his, unconsciously sending goosebumps up his arm: “I would never. Not voluntarily.”

“Thank you.” He muttered.

“And you can't resist

Making me feel eternally missed.”

“Bilbo,” You began, retreating your hands as you thought over all that he had done for you. You might have been oblivious, but you weren’t stupid: “I do not wish to give you any unwanted impression of anything, but…” You trailed off, holding your breath as a bad kind of butterflies entered your stomach. “You have given me many things and kept me safe a numerous amount of times, and my gratitude exceeds my words, but…”

You didn’t know what to tell him. You didn’t know how. And there was no way to bring it lightly. Thus, with a hard swallow, you threw it out. “You do know that your actions look an awful lot like dwarven courting customs? I am pretty sure the company is convinced I am your spouse.”

His breath hitched at that. He came here to tell you, and now you were starting his conversation. What was he going to tell you? Honesty seemed so difficult now, but there was something in your eyes that hadn’t been there before. Some faint glance of recognition. And it gave him confidence: “They are.” He breathed, before quickly correcting himself. “Courting customs. Fili taught me.” “Oh,” “Yes,”

A second silence laid heavily, and neither of you really knew what to say to the other. So, per usual, Bilbo took the lead after a handful of hesitant seconds. “Um, but I’ve probably gotten the wrong hints from you so-”

“No,” You denied. “No, no, no. It’s simply that…This was intentional?”

“Yes.”

“Oh,”

“And you can't resist

Making me feel eternally missed.”

“But I understand if the feelings aren’t returned.” Bilbo added, already standing up from his seat. He was about to leave when your voice forced him to turn around: “Why me?” He couldn’t help but let a quiet scoff of confusion out. “I’m sorry?” “Of all the people out there, why me?”

Why you? He really couldn’t tell. He hadn’t met anyone in the Shire, and the way his life would have gone if it hadn’t been for Gandalf showing up, he might have never found anyone. Why you? He didn’t know. And he was honest to voice it: “I just know.”

“Oh,” You repeated, the sound coming out more as a breath than a pronounced word. “I am sorry. I wasn’t blind, though I doubt that will make you feel better.” You admitted. “I didn’t want to imagine things that weren’t there.” You didn’t see the way Bilbo’s face softened at that, or the way his heart fluttered when you finally spoke those words. “Thought I would save myself the heartbreak.” “You didn’t have to.” He sighed. Once more, he prepared to leave. And once more, he was interrupted by you.

“Bilbo?” “Hm?” He hummed as he turned around, a faint glimpse of hope in his heart. It only grew as you asked him your next question: “Once we get out of this, where will we go?” A bright smile came from his face as his breath hitched significantly. “Home, I suppose.”

You copied his smile, nodding your head at him.

“I’d like that.”

“And you can't resist.

And you can't resist

Making me feel.”

#november writings 2023 #the hobbit #tolkien #Bilbo Baggins #Bilbo #bilbo x reader #Bilbo Baggins x reader

[mcytblr-archive]

Early MCYTblr Interviews: georgesoot

today's interviewee is georgesoot/dreamwasfound, who, in his words, "emerged from the senior living center to tell all". under the readmore is a transcript if the questions and answers.

Q: What was, in broad terms, your experience in MCYTblr? Are there any experiences/events that stand out to you?

A: Well it was primarily an outlet to channel all my obnoxious thoughts about Minecraft at the time. I had started watching Minecraft videos during the Pandemic, and came across [they who shall not be mentioned] and noticed there wasn't really a community on Tumblr yet. I just knew that someone had to show up and make it gay. It was easy to slot myself in, start making posts that I will never understand how I thought they would be funny, and slowly built up some sort of a following due to my sense of humor but also due to my ability to soberly ~critique~ the Minecraft Men as content creators, micro-celebrities, and as people. I never really fell into niches or was much aware of what other people were doing, until I was kind of folded into this idea of Dream Lying. I don't mean to sound self obsessed but I didn't really care about anything beyond my immediate sphere of friends?

For instance, you mention with other interviewees the Elections. I did not pay attention to those for a single second. I do remember we were saying "stop the count!" because we thought Georgeeehd should have won. And I dubbed Wormweeb the Prime Minister of Mcytblr, but I don't even remember who was running? Or why this even happened?

But as for other events, if they were funny or I could wring something out of them, I do remember them. For example, the mass migration of Kpoppies to Tumblr after it was suddenly "legal" to ship content creators. That compltely shifted the "culture" if it can be called that. I remember all the fake stan accounts, but I never attempted to interact with them. Obviously I remember the Tapeworm post, all the Discourse, the Controversies, how I was able to get hundreds of notes by summarizing events of the DreamSMP, my great shame in life.

But yes, most of the time, I was not there to take things too seriously.

Q: More specifically, what was your experience being in Dream Lying/early critblr? Do you think your experience differed from “main” MCYTblr?

A: As for my experience in what has been dubbed Critblr, well I've been credited with helping to start that whole movement. I think it's funny, because truly the kind of reaction to [censored]'s warcry scandal just wouldn't play out today the way it did back then. But I think it's a function of being an adult, that I could look at [censored] not as an idol, like at all whatsoever. It's easy to swept up in the emotions of things. But as a veteran of Discourseblr, and multiple fandoms, I could see through [censored]'s lack of media training and awareness of the average center left teenage perspective on these issues like it was wet tissue paper. People were mad at for that, but I didn't care what people thought of me.

Maybe by coincidence the other members of Dream Lying also had similar worldviews to mine. Everyone could look past the stanning of it all and recognize when something "canceallable" occurred and discuss it frankly and succinctly. Well I couldn't discuss it succinctly but others could. So to answer your question, yes it was a different experience from the rest of the "community." And it got to the point that it wasn't just "holding creators to account" it became fun. It was fun being the buzzkill in an ironic sense, and also fun in an unhinged way to just create these ludicrous scenarios of [censored] the Young Republican cornering you in the hallway and asking you so how does gay sex work actually though? And again, shipping was a component of this too.

And we turned out to be right. At the risk of sounding arrogant, this will become a theme.

Q: In previous interviews with DLying members, we’ve discussed that misinformation/in-jokes were a big part of the culture, one of them being that Dream sued you for libel. Do you remember any others? Did you expect so many people to believe you?

A: As I mentioned, I didn't take things too seriously. I enjoyed doing a little light trolling, such as when I infiltrated a [censored] stan tumblr server and showed everyone his dogs, and then reveled in the drama of them acting like I killed their families. People also turned on me because I abandoned The Ship for a ship that comprises of two… perpetrators of sexual misconduct as of March 2024, though that would also be true of the Popular Ship as well.

Anyway my personal computer died sometime in early 2021, so I, as is per the usual for my personality, made it into a joke because it really was quite stressful. I mentioned to Reese Georgeeehd and Ozzie ohge0rge (sp?) that [censored] must've sent a virus to kill my harddrive. This evolved into [censored]'s legal team sending me a cease and desist letter, as I'm sure I was being extra ~critical~ on Tumblr at the time.

They asked if they could make that The Official Narrative. I cautioned against it, it leaked anyway, because their "Private Twitters" had hundreds of followers, and this enabled this joke to become a full fledged rumor. And then my "ops" as the kids call them, got wind of this too. Most didn't believe it, but some had this "If it did happen GOOD!" attitude.

But some other examples… let me think. We did try to heavily imply that Ranboo was a former member of our organization. We rarely outright lied about the creators, but we did usually distort or exaggerate things when it came to us, for comedic effect. Frequently someone will say to me "Oh so and so mentioned you again," and my go-to answer is always "Tell them I got hit by a bus," or "Tell them I'm withering away from my dementia in the nursing home."

I did not expect people to believe me, because I did not spread the rumor because I had completely disappeared from the "public" by that point. I purposefully devised a very unrealistic joke in the first place, so I really don't know who would believe that. Especially since I was known to be friends and enemies with doxxers, who could find that information out if it existed.

Like the thought of [censored] being so hurt by a single anonymous loser calling him a Trump supporter and a bad voice actor and someone who was going to hold his British friend captive in his basement and force him to go on a keto diet to the point that he starves to death, or that he had offshore bank accounts to evade Taxes, or that he paid his brother to be his body double (this turned out to be true), that he was pretending to be bisexual for clout, that he had 100% cheated on his speedrun (also turned out to be true), that he had enslaved his mother as his maid, that he and his other friend from Texas would engage in a little frottage as bros do… well the list is endless. But the thought of him being so offended that he gets his lawyer, whom he pays, to send me a cease and desist letter… well it's one of the few things I came up with that was actually funny.

Uh but no, anyone with a healthy attachment to reality would never believe that.

Q: I understand that you were also in EBblr and its surrounding communities. What was that like? 

A: I was never in ebblr… all I did was watch a few Tubbo streams, realize that he was probably gay, and I was right. Because what do you expect at this point?

I pointed out publicly that Tubbo and Ranboo were engaging in some light queerbait, except that they were obviously both queer. The point was I thought they (or at least Tubbo) were trying to engineer a New [censored], because that gets you attention which gets you money… like Kaceytron was right about everything? In these spaces, being Queer is a commodity. But I'm letting the point get away from me.

In private, I mostly reacted with bemusement, and we did have some genuine enderbabies, as I called them (mostly derisively), in our server, who took it all so literally and that it was so kawaii desu. I thought it was cringe. Like, Tubbo pretending to be coy and saying Ranboo's foot was bigger than his forearm. That took me RIGHT back to my days as a cringy 19yo baby gay trying to flirt. Oh I'm getting embarrassed thinking about it. But there were a few moments that Tubbo and Ranboo manufactured together that I thought were pretty cute and wholesome.

On the whole, I'm still confused as to why I'm included in this sub-community. I approached Enderbees as a marketing thing, or something of the sort. I never read fics, I never looked at art, I never really cared. I especially didn't care about their "characters" on the SMP, which also set me apart from the genuine unironic shippers. Some thought this was worse than shipping because I was committing that dreaded cardinal sin: speculating on CC's sexualities.

And yes, I popularized the word Truthing in this context. I explicitly modeled it after 9/11 Truthers, because the JOKE (hi remember none of this was meant to be too serious) was that we were deranged conspiracists who were probably best kept away from normal society.

Q: Is it odd to be regarded as infamous within the MCYTblr niche? 

A: No it's not odd, I at least partially strove for infamy. Any attention gratifies the ego after all, not just postitive attention. Then there was the absurdity of it all. Here I was, in the Pandemic, having multiple degrees, looking for jobs, getting a job, going to work, paying taxes, and theater kids in high school were probably drawing devil horns on my pfp and throwing knives at it. All because I said everything I said about [censored], or "speculated" that Technoblade was gay because he had drama kid energy, or called Tommy annoying that one time in 2020, or babied [censored] too much. There's really no end to the list of nonsense I was spewing.

And I'd argue that I'm not infamous. Gayminecraftmen had to tell me about your blog and your interviews. I'm doing this because my friends think it would be funny. And the Drama of Georgesoot emerging from the senior living center to tell all is the kind of stupid humor I like. But aside from this, I haven't thought about Minecraft in a while. I have to be spoonfed lore about these annoying content creators who don't even make content anymore. Anything I learn about the "community" now is against my will.

At the time, maybe I was infamous, but now? I don't care. To even dignify my "infamy" would be to admit that Minecraft Youtube is even relevant anymore. How pathetic! I just filed my taxes and got an oil change last week. Me and the homies are having Dune watch parties and writing elaborate screenplays for Timothee Chalamet to star in in our heads (shout out to Ciara). To reminisce on my Tumblr infamy for a community of mostly teenagers about Content Creators who made content for said teenagers and later preyed on those teenagers… is so opposite from the adult problems and adult interest I have. Not to be condescending but that's just how it is!

Q: What are some common creator criticisms that you remember from 2020-2021? Do you still stand by them?

A: The common criticisms have held up in my opinion. [censored] and [censored] were queerbaiting. [censored] was cultivating an audience of loyal vulnerable teenagers and he took advantage. So did [censored]. And [censored] who literally bites people? Oh… okay then.

Dream Lying was right about [censored]'s friend whom he invited into his home and whom he tried to gift a career, only to be outed as an abuser. We were right about [censored] coming from not just a conservative background, but a bigoted one, one that he refused to actually grapple with. We were right about MCC being rigged. We were right about the cheating scandal. We were right about so many things.

The only thing I was definitely wrong about was the [censored] really did hop off the plane at LAX with a dream and a cardigan. I thought he for sure would just put off the [censored] team hype house meetup forever. My psychic powers don't always work I guess. That wasn't a criticism though, just my coping. Oh and I was wrong that Ranboo was an industry plant, but I was right that he's annoying and has no talent. And Dream Lying said from day one that Tubbo and Ranboo's little relationship would not last the summer and we were right! In fact during that whole thing I also speculated that Tommy would start queerbaiting and then he did! I felt like Cassandra at times.

Anyway back to the point. I mean the criticisms of [censored] were just all encompassing, and basically stemmed from the fact that he was like all these video game boys- a white man from a republican household who was not properly media trained because Streaming is not a real industry career and none of them were prepared for fame. And that has borne out over and over again. They all have shady pasts, they all abuse their fame and take advantage of fans. So I do stand by these criticisms.

Q: Is there anything else you’d like to speak on or have archived?

A: Not really, I've already said far too much, so apologies to whoever edits these, I hope you enjoy the novel I wrote for you. I don't know, I have dementia, none of this is real. Karlarmy forever. Also who even knows if I'm the real Georgesoot.

#early mcytblr interviews #Volume 10 #georgesoot

[darklinsblog]

Your Words, My Words | Sandman Imagine

Summary: Sometimes the same words create different memories

Pairing: Morpheus x Human! Reader

Requested: Yes

“With this hand I will scare away your sadness. Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine; with this candle I will light your way in the darkness; and with this ring I ask you to be mine.”

Those were the words that changed your life forever, those were Morpheus’ exact words when proposing to you, on a rainy October night.

You were a maiden at the Windsor Palace, it was 1906 when you met the Dream Lord, it was amazing how easily you two fell in love life felt like a fairytale, the love you shared was everything you could ever wish for and beyond.

But your love for the king of Dreams had made you neglect your obligations to the royal family, without being aware you were framed for stealing on the queen’s jewelry and as low class your word truly had no weight whatsoever.

You were fired without any consideration, but as the only support to a family of six and a dying father this was a true death sentence.

When you reached your home, Morpheus was waiting for you at the door even with the pouring rain, you entered your home and inside the house there was your whole family, looking at you with hopeful eyes.

In that small, wooden cold place you called home, Morpheus got on one knee and made his heartfelt proposal that brought you to tears.

As you accepted his proposal the world seemed right again, you had forgotten of your sorrows in that moment, because his love and support was all you ever needed.

Morpheus promised to take care of your family, that they would never starve or feel abandoned as long as he lived.

As you prepared for your wedding and inspected yourself in the mirror you were filled with an immense joy, if you could only see your past self and tell her what your life would become she would’ve thought you were mad.

Yet, here you were, about to become wife to one of the most powerful beings in the universe, about to become a queen yourself.

As you joined Morpheus in the aisle and took his hands in yours you breathed deeply, knowing exactly what to say as your vows.

Hearing you recited the same speech he had prepared when he firstly proposed to you was the most heartwarming moment of his existence, the Endless’ eyes burned with tears of happiness waiting to come out.

Those words had lead the way into the rest of your lives and as you made his words yours Morpheus was sure more than ever that he had found his true life partner.

As years passed after your marriage, you normally went back and forth between the Dreaming and the Waking World, because while you were now a queen you kept a part of your humanity close to your heart.

You were walking down the streets of London when you walked this huge electronics store that was planning a kids movie in the TVs displayed, but something made you abruptly stop.

“…cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine; with this candle I will light your way in the darkness; and with this ring I ask you to be mine.”

The animation itself had brought up the memories of your proposal and while this movie had fantasy aspects in it, like the fact there was a zombie bride, you knew those words too well.

This wasn’t a bizarre coincidence, there was no way. The only real explanation to you was that Morpheus’ had immortalized his love oath to you here, in the Waking World, your home.

You didn’t even waste a second and went inside to buy the DVD and headed back to the Dreaming.

“My queen” Lucienne had greeted you as proper as always, you smiled.

“Lucienne, would you happen to know where my husband is?” You questioned her sweetly, she nodded.

“He left a while ago, to create a new dream, I believe”

Shortly after that, you went ahead to find him, as always he felt your presence beforehand and turned to look at you, you handed him the movie playfully.

“Would you happen to know anything about this?” You said, the smile that was drawn in his lips along with a light shimmer in his clear blue eyes said it all.

“Seems familiar, but I’m not sure” he joked making both of you laugh.

“Morpheus…” you half jokingly scolded him

“The man needed inspiration and I always believed our love was made for movie screens” he said now pulling you closer to his body.

“Is that so?”

“Take this as a vow renewal, that my love for you, like our story will transcend time”

“Well I will be forever remembered as a corpse bride whose eye kept popping out of her socket”

“And how would I be remembered in this story, my love?”

“Exactly as you are, pale, tall, attractive and a hopeless romantic” this time, the Dream Lord laughed.

“Sounds fair to me”

Taglist: @emiemiemiii @ladyfairenvale @hungrhay @aurorarevenclaw1927 @adishax @meganmayhem89 @mrs-captainsteverogers @hb8301 @sarahbullet235 @bambooing-shenanigans @queenshelby @characterxreaderimagine @emarich7 @carolcrysis @sister-of-stars @coolsnowker @sandman-33 @jesllianaquilesrolon

#the sandman comics #sandman imagine #sandman netflix #dream of the endless #morpheus dream #sandman x reader #dream of the endless x reader #tom sturridge x reader #sandman shitpost #tom sturridge #morpheus sandman #sandman x y/n #morpheus imagines #morpheus #morpheus x reader #morpheus x you #dream x reader #sandman dream #the sandman

[j0kb0x]

Over-analyzing the shit out of “Meet The Spy”

- You’re insane if you said you suspected Scout. The writers of this short did a good job hiding the fact that this was Red Spy in disguise at the time. The whole narrative of deceiving the audience is a perfect way to bring out the character’s affects on people and to show how much of a threat he really is.

- Speaking of which, what makes the character even more horrifying is the Spy’s general ability to seemingly psychoanalyze people around him. Blu spy (subjectively) shows signs of suspecting the disguised Scout, and Red spy roleplays as Scout so accurately, right down to his over the top ignorance and pretending to cut himself with the blade of his own butterfly knife. He couldn’t have done this without throughly gathering information on his own teammates. Creepy mf.

- Speaking of that scene where Red Spy pretends to cut himself, the whole action itself is GENIUS writing. Not only are the other mercs being deceived into thinking this is the real Scout, but the audience is as well. Because no spy would do such a terrible job demonstrating a basic opening balisong trick. Only someone as over his head and stupid as Scout would pick a weapon up too confidently without thinking twice and then promptly cut himself with it.

- After Scout sends a random storm of insults Blu spy’s way; he then adds “No offense..” At the end. If you watched this short the first time you wouldn’t have caught it, but this random proclamation at the end is Red spy’s own self awareness and sarcasm shining through. Showing how ironic it is that he’s indeed resorting to insulting himself in order to pass off. He doesn’t think that about himself at all; let’s be honest. This isn’t enough to be a slip up because it has double implications. You can also interpret this as Scout not wanting to get on Blu spy’s bad side. Red Spy knows how to choose his words wisely.

- Blu spy’s “I can assure you, they weren’t like me.” Is another double implication. It could be either seen as passive aggressively objecting against Scout’s insults, or even threatening the Red Spy he suspects might be disguised as Scout. Lots of fucking social mind games here for the audience to try and understand.

- When Scout sees the Blu spy’s head get blown clean off, he reacts as if he’s shocked at soldier’s lack of impulse control. Not only did Red spy deduct pretty quickly he had to react like this in a spilt second, but also you can notice his mask beginning to slightly falter in this scene as he realizes his main competition was now gone. The way he steps forward to check if Blu spy is truly dead is way too off-putting and doesn’t fit Scout’s typical body language whatsoever.

- Finally, Scout’s expression turns into a dead fucking hard gaze once he realizes he has the perfect opening here, now that soldier and heavy are distracted. This gave me chills as a kid. Then the disguised Red Spy throughly demonstrates he’s fully capable of doing a knife trick. The camera is right at his hand and makes sure to place emphasis on this moment as realization slowly sets in for the audience that they’ve been completely misled this entire time.

- Red spy finishes Blu spy’s sentence before he got blasted to smithereens. Showing once again how ironic the situation is, perfectly balancing ironic humor and the feeling of pure terror. “Right behind you.” Comes off more raw than it should. Emphasis on this line is done perfectly by Dennis Bateman. Sounds both like a velvet whisper, and a snake hissing before striking. 10/10 acting here.

#j0kb0x #tf2 #team fortress 2 #meet the spy #spy tf2 #scout tf2

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

Well. I guess today is the day I post this.

Putting this all below a cut to spare your dashes.

This statement will seem dramatic. I apologize. I don't know any other way to put this.

For a long time, I've felt unsafe in this fandom as a bisexual person.

At some point we got a new wave of people in this fandom (I can't pinpoint when since I never know anything that goes on in this godforsaken cesspit), and we started to get a growing wave of people talking about Eddie as a gay man, rather than bisexual or queer or ambiguous/unlabeled in his sexuality.

It was something I could easily ignore at first. I didn't agree with it, but I rolled my eyes and kept on keepin' on. It didn't really affect me. I had my own little corner and that was that.

But as time has gone on, it's become so popular and pervasive that every time I turn around, I'm running into it. It seems to be (but might not be, I could be wrong) the more popular interpretation of Eddie.

For example, I got an ask at the beginning of February, asking me what was wrong with gay Eddie, since it seems to be the "general consensus." Additionally, there was a podcast episode an anthropology student made where the host said that they have also seen people have generally decided Eddie is gay, not bi or queer. I'm not the only one who's noticed this and decided this is the general/most popular opinion of the fandom.

And I'm here to say that it's unbelievably hurtful.

It's not a new thing for people to dismiss Shannon. And let me tell you, it brings me no joy to defend her. I deeply, deeply dislike her and always have. But I must, because whether I like her or not doesn't matter as much as her importance to Eddie and her role in his life. Not just as Christopher's mother, but as his first love and as his wife.

However, over the past year or so there's been a serious shift within the fandom to ignore or gloss over Shannon, and to paint Eddie as a gay man who has always been gay, and never been attracted to women, and never wanted to sleep with one. Even though, canonically, he and Shannon jumped right back into bed together and wouldn't stop fucking every time they met up, despite that choice being detrimental to their relationship and preventing them from discussing important things.

Eddie was so busy fucking his wife like a rabbit in springtime that he couldn't settle down and talk with her. He fucked her repeatedly even though he didn't fully trust her with their son anymore. If that's not thinking with your dick I don't know what is.

Eddie's grief over Shannon's loss and his complicated feelings about her (his love for her vs his anger at her choices vs his own poor self-esteem) haunted him throughout season three. It's why he joined the fight club. It haunts him in season four, when he chooses to date Ana to give Chris a substitute mother even though he is not yet ready to date/move on from Shannon.

Even if I put on my Buddie shipper goggles and say, "what about Buck?" I do not think it makes any sense whatsoever for Eddie to be aware of his feelings for Buck pre-shooting. I think that is the moment he realizes what his heart wants and where he's chosen to love again. Not before.

Bobby moving on with Athena does in no way erase his love for his previous wife, and he went through a process similar to Eddie - in fact that similarity is part of why Bobby sees so much of himself in Eddie and why he tries to give Eddie advice on the subject. But I have to wonder, if Bobby had dated Michael instead of Athena, if the fandom would react the same way they do with Eddie - if they would claim Bobby was gay the whole time, and never truly felt sexual attraction for his wife.

I know Shannon is a disliked character by and large (I'm one of the people who dislikes her) and that her relationship with Eddie was complicated. Eddie wasn't always happy in his relationship with her. But neither was Athena, and yet the fact she was once attracted to and in love with Michael is never questioned.

Eddie is simply not allowed nuance in his relationship with Shannon. He is not allowed (as Bobby and Athena are) to have a complicated relationship with his spouse or to move on with another character while not denying his previous attraction to her. Eddie's relationship with Shannon is reduced to something he did because he had to, without any genuine sexual attraction, and without any sexual enjoyment. He is allowed to love her, but to never have been in love with her.

Eddie's biggest arc and piece of character development for two whole seasons (seasons two and three, arguably parts of season four) are erased.

The underlying message, whether intended or not, is that they are erased because they do not matter. And they do not matter because if they did, Eddie would be bi, or queer, or anything except 100% homosexual. And that means that the underlying message is that being gay is more important, more valid, and better than bisexuality.

I'm not saying this message is intentional. Frankly I don't think it is. I'm saying it is there.

And of course, when others have pointed out that this is hurtful and erases a big part of Eddie's history, and that therefore makes them feel ignored and erased as a bisexual person, there's been hostility. Some of it's been openly hostile and frankly feels like fighting for the sake of fighting, the kind of self-righteous love of blood in the water that has kept me a lurker in fandoms for so long.

The more insidious hurt, for me, is the people who refuse to publicly support people who call out the biphobia. They say nothing when people talk about how they're attacked for pointing out the issues with gay!Eddie, or they support both gay!Eddie and bi!Eddie sides, depending on the time of day and who's saying it. It makes me distrusting of a lot of people who try to tell me they support me. How can I believe you when you turn around and agree with the people saying Eddie's gay? Reblogging posts and championing it?

At best it feels like being accidentally hurtful while supporting/being open to multiple headcanons. At worst it feels like lying to placate me.

I don't appreciate being placated.

Fandom can give a skewed perspective on things such as representation in media. I understand that many people who identify as 6 on the Kinsey Scale have struggled deeply with repression, self-loathing, ignorance, and compulsive heterosexuality. I understand wanting that representation, especially in an older character when it feels like a lot of our media is still about queer teenagers rather than queer adults (especially queer adults over the age of thirty). And so with many slash ships having to deal with the existence of opposite-sex love interests in the characters comprising that ship, bisexuality can feel like the norm when in reality, characters who are gay (whether they always knew it or discover it later) are still much more prevalent than bisexual characters in media.

For example, in Our Flag Means Death we have Stede. In IT, Richie is inferred to be gay rather than bi (god forbid they confirm Eddie K's gayness but that's another matter...) In fact, in 9-1-1 alone, we have Michael. There's also the matter of who gets to be gay and who gets to be bi. In Glee, for example, Santana is the one who gets the nuanced coming-out story with drama and depth. Brittany, her bisexual girlfriend, doesn't get nearly as much attention or thought, and off-screen cheats on Santana in a staggering moment of biphobia (a decision the likes of which Ryan Murphy is not-so-affectionately known for).

Yet from people who headcanon Eddie as gay I repeatedly see the rallying cry of "letting us have this," as if 'this' is something they never get, or get less than bisexual people. Again, I understand the way fandom might skew things. But we cannot allow the broken goggles of fandom to, in turn, blinker our reality of the media landscape. Bisexuality is still less represented, and the wounds of "oh being with X man is nothing like all those women I was with, this is special and real" are still fresh (looking at you, Destiel shippers circa 2009-2012).

In fact as I out myself here as uh one of those veterans, I implore people to understand how this was the norm for so, so many years. Fandom has a short memory, I get it. It's hard to keep track of everything. But this embrace of bisexuality is rather recent. You look around and you see, for example, people happily joking about Dean Winchester's bisexuality. That was not always the case. For a long time, it was about perpetuating biphobia and casual misogyny as shippers wrote meta and fic about how no woman could ever make him feel like Cas does.

*pause for war flashbacks*

This was not the only instance or fandom. But I don't have time to name all the examples. My point is that there is a false collective narrative. My point is that when you are hurt, and have struggled, it can be hard to see that others have also been hurt and have also struggled. My point is that there is a continued instinct to put a certain type of character in one box and another type of character in a different box, and to try and expand the boxes, or move one character to another, is treated as a personal attack rather than an expansion of our understanding and a dismantling of our stereotypes.

Why is it always the character who has a lot of sex and/or is super comfortable on the subject of sex, or is very casual about sex, who gets to be bi/pan/fluid in sexuality? Why are bi people never allowed to be reserved, or have only one or two partners in their life?

Why is the character who is casual (or seems like they will be casual) and relaxed about sexuality the one who is labeled bisexual? Why are bisexuals never allowed to have angst around their sexuality or come out later in life? Why is our pain, our internal struggle, never allowed to be discussed?

I'm not saying Buck should be viewed as gay. I think it's correct to talk about him as bi/pan/queer. But I do think it's fair to examine why Buck's relationship with Abby is viewed in its proper important context while Eddie's relationship with Shannon is diminished and ignored.

Buck gets to talk about Abby. He gets to have genuinely been in love with her. He gets to retain that piece of his character. Eddie does not. Eddie's relationship with Shannon ended up hurting him just as much as Buck's relationship with Abby, in fact even more so, and yet people handwave that away as compulsive heterosexuality (which is not restricted to gay people, by the way, bi people experience that as well) and act like he didn't actually fall in love with her and have repeated enthusiastic sex with her.

People love to tout Ana as proof that Eddie is gay, but it doesn't matter what your sexuality is - if you aren't attracted to someone and you don't want them touching you, then you don't want them touching you. If you don't want to have sex with someone, you don't want to have sex with someone. Your sexuality doesn't matter. Just because a man is straight doesn't mean he wants to have sex with all women. Just because a man is gay doesn't mean he wants to have sex with all men. Just because a person is bi doesn't mean they want to have sex with everyone on the planet. And just because someone is asexual doesn't mean they have no libido or would never have sex at all for another reason (intimacy, fun, etc.). Sexual desire and drive are a very personal things, and both romantic and sexual attraction can play various roles or no role at all depending on the individual.

Eddie’s refusal to sleep with Ana or touch her is not a sign of him being gay as opposed to bi or queer or any other sexuality. It’s not a sign of any sexuality at all. It’s a sign that he was forcing himself into that relationship. He didn't want to be with Ana. He didn't love Ana. He didn't want to have sex with Ana.

Now, do I think how he broke up with her - his words about "the idea of us" - is insanely queer? Yes. Yes I do. And yes, for the record, I think that was deliberate on the part of the writers. But that simply says to me that he's queer. Not gay, not bi, not pan, not demi, not anything other than not straight.

To take that speech and those words and to say they could only possibly apply to a fully 100% gay man as opposed to anyone under the queer umbrella is hurtful. People's experiences as gay people are valid, and often, sadly, painful and just like Eddie's. But so are people's experiences as bi people, as pan people, as unlabeled people, as 'queer as in fuck you' people.

To wit: People ignore canonical evidence about Shannon, and claim canonical evidence about Ana as their own and no one else's, in order to support their interpretation of Eddie's sexuality.

That erases the rest of us.

I know that's hard to hear. I know that sounds like it comes with judgment. You are trying to speak your own truth, and you are identifying strongly with a character that you love, and it's hard to then hear that in doing those things, you are hurting or erasing others. I've had to hear that in my time, and I'm sure I'll have to hear it again, and it's never easy. But we must sit with this discomfort as our friend, not our foe, and use it to grow.

However, since fandom is our safe space, we often view anything and everything as a personal attack, and we often make judgments and interpretations based too strongly on our own experiences. Sometimes this is a good thing - I think the number of people who say Buck reminds them of their own ADHD are correct and that it adds great depth to his character. I'm glad Oliver has embraced it. I think the people who say Eddie speaks to their own demisexuality have a great point and I think it adds nuance to his character and behavior.

(In fact I also love trans!Buck headcanons! I think they're neat and I've read some fics I enjoyed that featured that.)

On the other hand, however, it often leads to people adding interpretations onto things that do not reflect canon or the actual character. They then view others pointing out the lack of support for this in canon, or the contradiction with canon, as a personal attack (looking at you, "Chim is abusive" people, go jump in a lake). It's hard to take that breath and recognize that not everything a character is or does or experiences is the same as what you are, or do, or have experienced. Especially when it touches on something as personal and important as our sexuality.

Because of this, I debated a long time on whether I should say something. I tried to identify the difference between what hurt me because it didn't line up with my thoughts and what hurt me because of actual stereotyping. I worked to make sure that this was more than simply taking an innocuous difference of opinion and twisting it into a personal attack.

Which brings me to why I say the word 'unsafe'. That seems like an extreme word. But I've seen people say that they "got a brain" and realized Eddie was gay, not bi. I've seen people take gifsets that mention Eddie being bi and tag them 'okay but I believe in gay!Eddie' or 'I'm a gay!Eddie truther'. I've seen people go out of their way in fics to mention Eddie disliking/being grossed out by female genitalia. I've seen fanartists put Eddie in gay colors/flags as opposed to bi/demi/etc colors/flags, on art that really didn't need it to convey the story - as if one cannot make a piece of art with Eddie on it without declaring one's opinion on his sexuality.

(Yes, I think there's a strong possibility that Eddie is demisexual. I wish people would embrace that idea more. Personally, I think he wouldn't label himself at all and simply say he was queer if asked. But given the discussion we're having right now on this post about gay/bi headcanons, I think it's clear a lot of people actually aren't as ready to embrace or consider minority sexualities as they might like to think.)

I repeat: this is not just happening on a person's own art or post or fanfic. People are reblogging posts, gifsets, and so on that mention bisexual Eddie and saying, okay but I see him as gay. They are not content to live and let live. They are actively saying they disagree. If you disagree, then why reblog the thing that talks about/mentions Eddie as bi? Why not simply leave it be?

I cannot overstate how hurtful this is; how much it feels like erasure, dismissal, and condescension.

You cannot tell me if that was something you saw about your gender, or sexuality, or so on, that you wouldn't begin to feel unsafe. That you wouldn't begin to question if you would be unheard, or dismissed, or viewed as less-than. Tell me you wouldn't start to wonder, if you were a character on a TV show, if people wouldn't erase your sexual and romantic history and ignore a big piece of yourself because certain sexualities just weren't good enough for them.

You cannot tell me that in seeing these things you wouldn't walk away with the idea that bisexuality (or other sexualities in general but bisexuality is the one brought up and to which being gay is compared in regards to Eddie) is viewed as lesser to these people, and to the community at large. You cannot tell me that some people are not internalizing this narrative, no matter what their own sexuality might be.

And, yes, reading that earlier paragraph you might say, "Mads, are you vagueing?" That is not my intention. I want to head off at the pass the rebuttal that this isn't happening. I want to cut off the demand for examples. However, I'm also not going to name names, because I don't wish to cause harm to people who I think, by and large, are well-meaning.

That's what I'm hoping is true, in writing this. That most of the people reading this, and pushing the Eddie-is-gay narrative, are well-meaning. "I'm bi myself!" many of you will say.

Yes, well. I'm a woman and I was perfectly capable of a lot of misogynistic thinking growing up, and I often fell into sexist stereotypes in my headcanons and writing and so on.

But I hope, since most of you are well-meaning, this post will instead cause you to think, and examine, and ponder.

I'm sure many people reading this are rolling their eyes and thinking, "what about the first rule of fandom? Ship and let ship? Kink tomato? Etc? Let people have different headcanons." I've certainly seen such flippant remarks from people before on this very subject in this fandom.

And the thing is, I have really tried to do that. I have tried to take it that way. But I think that it's also entirely fair for me to be hurt when a person's headcanon/interpretation ignores canon and erases a big part of a character's life and history.

I know, I know, we could get into a big philosophical discussion about how slash and femslash shipping by nature does something along those lines. But I feel that in the now-common interpretation of Eddie as gay, there is a pushing of stereotypes about both gay and bisexual people. There is a splitting of hairs on queerness. There is a subtext, whether acknowledged or not by those who push this interpretation, that being gay as opposed to a more fluid sexuality is more painful, more fraught, more challenging. That bisexuality, pansexuality, queerness as an umbrella term - those are less fraught and inherently easier. It's one of the pillars upon which exclusion in the queer community is based.

It also, generally, ignores the idea that one's sexuality can change over time. Maybe I'm wrong and maybe most people with the interpretation of Eddie as gay actually view him as being gay now and that's how he identifies now without erasing his canonical (and important) sexual and romantic attraction to Shannon. But that doesn't seem to be the case, and I certainly don't want to risk myself emotionally by trying to find out.

Not to mention that hey, when people are saying something is hurtful to them, seeing people make posts hand-waving and saying "get over yourselves, relax, take a chill pill" feels beyond condescending and dismissive.

I'd like to make it clear, I'm not asking for people to never write Eddie as gay, and that we should never see Eddie as gay again in this fandom, or that anyone who writes Eddie as gay should be dogpiled. I'm not the boss of anyone, I'm not the fandom police, I don't make the rules. But I think, when a certain behavior brings people pain - and more people than just myself, as I have learned in many private conversations - there comes a time when the least one can do is speak up about it.

Sometimes someone needs to be the one to stand up and say, "this hurts me. I am in pain, and this is why."

Again, especially when people are going out of their way to say "but I disagree, he's gay" on posts, gifsets, and so on mentioning Eddie having a different sexuality. You might feel this post is unnecessary. You might feel it's preachy. You might feel I should shut up and get off my high horse.

But the fact of the matter is when you come into someone's house tracking mud and they tell you to clean it up, you don't get to yell at them and claim they are trying to stop you from playing outside.

I kept my silence on this for a long time and part of that was I didn't want to police anyone. Now, however, we are at a point where people who think Eddie is gay are invading other people's spaces. It's not just that this headcanon is everywhere. It's not just that people are using such dismissive language when the possibility of Eddie liking women comes up. It is also that people are going out of their way to dismiss Eddie's bisexuality and argue that their interpretation is better on posts about Eddie being bi.

So frankly, I don't think anyone gets to walk away from this scoffing "don't like don't read" at me when nobody else around here is offering me that courtesy. If I could avoid reading it, I would. You came into my house, and the house of everyone else who makes a post, a fic, a gif, about Eddie being anything except a Kinsey 6.

Yes, reblogs are turned off for this. Anon is also turned off. You might say that's cutting off discussion, and you would be right. The blunt truth is I don't trust people online to respond with thoughtfulness, good faith, and care. I don't trust people to take their time and think before shooting off an emotional, defensive response. And I don't care to spend my time and energy educating people.

Maybe if I was a better person - a more social, more patient, and less private person - I would be the kind of person who would have the long hard discussions to educate and share my thoughts, to help you see my side. But that's not who I am, and I certainly don't owe it to anyone, not a single person here, to scrounge up my nonexistent trust and goodwill to have that discussion with you.

I've said my piece on this. I'm sure my tone seems harsh. The tone with which this is actually written is weariness, exhaustion, and, yes, nausea. It makes one sick and wears one down, to feel so on edge in a space and yet to try and ignore that to find joy anyway. Because I get a lot of joy in sharing my fics, and reblogging gifsets and meta, and I don't want to lose that joy.

But I suppose it needs to be said. I know others have said it, but I hope that I have said all this with enough calm and articulation that it will truly be understood, and it will not start drama or discourse, because that's not what I want. Truly. I spent enough of 2020 being dragged into one piece of bullshit drama after another. I'm not interested in wading back into that. I've kept pretty extreme radio silence for a reason.

My hope is simply for people to step back and take a long hard look at why they've decided one half of our ship is gay, and one half is bi, and what that might say about their subconscious stereotypes about gay and bi people.

If I've gotten you to do that, then this post is worth it.

I'm sorry I don't have any answers. I'm sure this would be a lot easier for people to read if I ended it with "and here's what to do moving forward." I think the desire to provide answers - for themselves and for others - is what drives people to make posts that condemn, or get aggressive, or seem to simply be out there to shut people up. People want to have a solution. They want the problem to go away.

I don't have a solution. I don't have answers for anyone. I truly wish I did. Part of why I've waited so long in posting this is trying to come up with a way to end this that would give people actionable steps. But at the end of the day, all I can really say is that I hope the people reading this will do some internal searching, and thoughtful discussion, and understand better the subconscious choices we make, the biases we hold, and how we can hurt people without meaning to.

I don't want apologies. I say that with love - I'm not looking for people to self-flagellate before me or make some kind of mea culpa post. I don't think that would help anything, and I don't think anyone owes that to me. Frankly I'm not interested in public discussion, and if there are posts others make about this, I don't want to see them.

You can make posts on your blog ranting about me (just please don't tag me, again, I don't want to see it). You can discuss this in your discord groups. You can vagueblog about me and chat about me in DMs. I don't care. I'd just like people to hear me say, "I am hurt, and you are hurting me, and I know it's not intentional, but this is why." Anything else is up to you. Any changes, in thought or behavior, are up to you. Probably nothing will change. But at least I've said something, and I've tried.

Thank you for reading this far, and I hope you have a great day. Stay safe and take care of yourself.

#I am so sorry this turned into such a manifesto #I tried to keep it succinct while also covering every possible base #to avoid misinterpretation or unkindness #but I suppose at the end of the day I am a long-winded person #who tends to over-explain everything #hopefully that over-explaining has cut down on bad faith assumptions #but with this fandom who knows #I'll probably be off tumblr for a bit because my anxiety is through the roof posting this #mads rants

[bluberimufim]

WIP Excerpt Tag

Helloooooo I have a lot of energy rn so I'm doing some more Complicated tag games. @words-after-midnight tagged me for this (check out his excerpt) and it seems fun, so I'm sharing a bigger snippet of DoS that I'm particularly proud of <3

Trigger warning for suicidal thoughts and discussion of said thoughts because you can't take two steps in this WIP without hitting a trigger warning ffs

Theo's eyes, flowing with tears that ran down her face, were fixed on hers, never wavering. "Please..." she repeated. "...Theo?" "Let me die." Her expression didn't change. "What?" Her words could have been mistaken for a breath. "Let me die." Without hesitation. She tried to speak again, but her voice failed her. "...Theo" "Seth, my soul hurts so much. All the time. Please." She remembered, albeit vaguely, the words Dora had spoken years ago: My soul hurts. It has for some time. My mortal soul and my divine soul don't mix well. She tried to take Theo's hands, but she drew back with a pained yelp. "I can heal you," she said. "Let me heal you." "No, you can't." "Yes, I can! Let me heal your pain. Please." More tears fell from her eyes and a sound of pure agony was ripped from the depths of her chest. "Being healed hurts me... so much." "No-" "Every time you heal me, it feels as if my pain increases a thousandfold. I can't take it anymore..." "How long?" "I..." She hesitated. She knew the words would hurt her. "Two years?" Even with healing, there's not much you can do. And being healed constantly hurts. "I just want the pain to end, now," Theo confessed. "I want it to stop. I can't live like this." Seth felt tears burn the corners of her own eyes, threatening to spill. "But-" "Seth." Theo kept not letting her touch her, but she pulled her closer. "I love you. I love you more than anyone else. And I know you feel the same for me. That's why I'm asking you, please..." "I won't let you die!" Seth shot out, in a sudden burst of strength. "I need you!" Theo's gaze was impossibly hurt. "Seth, please... For as much as you love me, don't make me stand this pain any longer." Seth shook her head. She loved Theo. She loved her too much. She couldn't live if she wasn't by her side. She felt she wouldn't survive if Theo died. "I can't." "Seth..." "I refuse." Theo took her hands in hers - the wrists, through her shirt, still not giving her the relief of touch. The strength of her grip was immense, pulling her forward. Her tears made her words almost indistinguishable from her cries, intercut with sobs that seemed to shake her whole body. "Seth, I ask you. I implore you. Let me die. I can't take it anymore." It looked like she wanted to say something else, but she was unable to. She succumbed to her pain and collapsed, curled up on herself. Seth removed her wrists from her hold and hugged her, letting her bury her face in her shoulder, as she often times did. She raised a hand to her face, finally touching her skin, and let the energy flow. Right by her ear, Theo's breath was coming in short. She whined, softly, her voice holding back a scream. The hand she'd laid on Seth's back closed, dragging with it a fistful of her cloak. She ignored her cries and continued healing her.

This is one of those Seth's Questionable Moments when it comes to, like... being a good person in general. I love her so much. My morally grey and generally unpleasant protagonist. (Actually, calling her "morally grey" is kinda wrong since she pretty much has no consideration for morality. Her moral compass is working but Theo is a giant magnet.)

I really like this scene bc 1) it's Dramatic and Emotional; 2) it later gets paralleled with a scene where the Goddess of Time also does the exact same thing to Theo where she's basically like "I'm hurting you because I love you?" and Seth is like "damn she sucks, I'd never do that to you, bestie <3". No self-awareness whatsoever. Truly the character of all time.

And now, I want to gently tag @macabremoons, @olliexwrites, @full-on-sam, @pumpkinsplots, and anyone else who wants an excuse to share a big snippet. Have fun!!

#writeblr #writing #my wips #devourer of souls wip #snippets #tag game #tw suicidal ideation

[maneskinconfess-archive]

The problem with the Maneskin fandom abroad is that, understandably, they have put Giorgia on a pedestal because 90% of them have no idea what she's been saying for the last year on interviews or of the fact that she's managed to become one of the most disliked celebrities in the country in a record short time (and no, it's not because of misogyny). I'm Italian. I used to like her a lot. I appreciated her activism and the things she stood for. I also appreciated that she wasn't trying to latch onto Damiano's name (at the time). Then her book came. First of all, the book has no literary merit. I bought it (something I deeply regret) because like I said I was a fan of hers at the time. But it's truly awful. She later admitted that she had been rejected multiple times when she had tried to publish it before the relationship with Damiano became public, which honestly doesn't surprise me at all. Is it so terrible that she published a bad book? No. But what started putting a lot of people off is how she handled the criticism. She was bragging about not accepting an editor to make any changes. She compared herself to Alda Merini, one of the greatest Italian poets. She tried, repeatedly, to blame every criticism about her writing on misogyny, using Damiano's lyrics to prove a point (as if english song lyrics can be compared to italian poetry). She even said that the reason she hadn't got published earlier was because there's bias against models lol. No self-awareness whatsoever. Then it became obvious that the whole promo around the book revolved around her relationship with Damiano. The premise is about a "clandestine love story". She name drops him in the book multiple times using the code name "Icarus". On every interview she gave, she was going on and on about him, about Coraline. She was complaining about being known as "the girlfriend of" but then accepted to go on a TV show on the biggest channel of the country where she was introduced as the girlfriend of and was talking for like 10 minutes about the writing process of Coraline and Damiano. I can't possibly make a summary of all the other stupid stuff she's said in the past year but some of them include trying to pass a retreat worth around 1k in Ibiza as "political rest", claiming that being able to take the public transport is a privilege (when she used to be on a plane every other week when dating Damiano), trying to market her make up line as some kind of feminist and anti racist revolution and many more. I don't believe she's a bad person by any means. But I do believe she's always been fame hungry and is desperate to stay relevant no matter what. Now that she doesn't have Damiano directly, she'll find indirect ways to use his name for clout. I still appreciate what she has done to raise awareness for vulvodynia and endomitriosis but that can't be an excuse for everything. I wasn't part of their relationship obviously and I wish both of them the best. But Damiano compromised his image A LOT in Italy to stand by her through every controversy, accepted exposing his private life in ways he had never before and in which I'm still not sure he was entirely comfortable with considering his personality and how much he values privacy. Have you ever seen Vic, Thomas or Ethan's homes? Know if they live alone or with a partner? Damiano used to be like that too. And then suddenly we were seeing selfies of them from their bed. It's just terribly sad how quickly she seems to have forgotten how much he did for her publicly and without gaining nothing from it.

#måneskin confessions #sfw #maneskin #måneskin #damiano david #giorgia soleri

[takeyourcyanide]

Secret

(I was bored, so I wrote this.)

Summary: This is set when Stein was 14 and Spirit was 16/a short while after they had first partnered up. Stein was supposed to come hang out with the rest of the group, but when he fails to show up, Spirit gets worried. When he returns to their shared dorm, he ends up being a bit horrified.

He had been hanging out with the usual group: Marie, Azusa, Kami, Sid, Joe, and Naigus.

But he was also supposed to be hanging out with Stein. For some unknown reason, he did not show up.

Spirit observed the beauty of the sunset, and the humor in the sun, of which was struggling to remain awake. But the beauty of his walk and the world around him could not distract him from the odd and curious feeling twisting in his stomach. What was his meister up to anyway? Why did he ditch the group?

They had all questioned this, as they had all been expecting his intimidating presence. They simply laughed it off, cracking jokes about what he could possibly be up to. But not even that could get rid of the odd feeling he had.

He was admittedly a little worried.

He could be a bit self-isolating, sure. But even he didn’t typically ditch the group. It was something for him to do. It gave him a group to observe. He was fine with it. Even he had fun.

Spirit began to fidget with his shirt and with his own fingers.

His thoughts circled and persisted like a little hamster on a wheel.

—————————

Spirit had finally made it to the door to his dorm. He placed his fidgety hand upon the doorknob, turning it suspiciously slow. Once the door had opened and he had stepped in, he made the observation that there was absolutely no sign of Stein whatsoever. He walked over to the door to Stein’s room. That’s when he heard something.

He heard the cracking of Stein’s chair, paired with a creepy, gooey sound. That is when he turned the knob, and opened the door.

Spirit’s eyes widened like shining, horrified saucers.

Stein had their neighbor’s cat laid out on a towel on his desk. He was slowly pulling out its intestines, similarly to how a magician would pull lines upon lines of colorful ribbons out of a hat.

There was a small smirk on Stein’s face, of which had almost immediately faded upon Spirit’s entrance.

He had medical trays laying out, some holding organs he had taken out, and one holding medical supplies.

Stein adorned bloody sanitary gloves and a surgical mask.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Spirit exclaimed in shock.

“You know I love biology,” Stein answered, chillingly calm, pulling down his mask in orderly to properly respond.

He wasn’t wrong. Spirit knew he enjoyed the sciences, and Spirit knew he enjoyed dissecting living organisms. But that didn’t mean it didn’t creep him out! And did it have to be the neighbor’s cat?!

“Did it have to be the neighbor’s fucking cat?!”

“Well… I wouldn’t have. But I haven’t been able to get my hands on any other animal.”

“So? What the hell happens when someone finds out?!”

“No one will if you keep your voice down, Spirit.”

“God. Are you fucking crazy?!”

Stein simply gave his usual thousand yard stare in response. Spirit wondered whether or not he was currently dissecting his soul.

“And you should really stop picking up random dead animals. You could end up diseased!”

“Firstly, I am aware that I could contract various different diseases. That’s why I am wearing gloves and a mask. Secondly, it’s not like I found Sally on the road or the ground, bloodied and dead. I killed her myself.”

Spirit eyes widened impossibly more.

“D…dude..” Spirit stuttered out, gulping lightly.

“You can’t…just…”

Spirit heavily sighed, putting his head in his hands for a brief moment.

“Just.. no. You can’t do that-“

“Why can’t I?” Stein interrupted.

“What happens if someone finds out?” Spirit chokes out worriedly.

Truly, at this point, sure, he was still creeped out, but he was sort of worried about Stein’s mental state. He didn’t know what to do. Part of him was sort of angry at Stein. He ditched them all for this? But another part of him wanted to help Stein, to comfort him in some way, even though he knew Stein was having the time of his life. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with this guy? Why’d he have to be partnered up with him?

“Why didn’t you lock your door? Don’t you usually?” Spirit asked.

“I wanted to see your facial expression,” Stein replied, that malicious, sadistic smirk - of which was his trademark - returning.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“That’s the question of the year, isn’t it?”

Stein rested his head on his hand, his elbow resting on the small open space on his desk, the smirk still present.

“You’re such a jerk,” Spirit stated, slightly repulsed. He had such mixed feelings on his meister at the moment, it physically hurt.

Stein chuckled with amusement at Spirit’s statement.

“You’ve tried to hard to include me and welcome me. Are you going to give up on me now? Deem me ‘too far gone’?”

Despite the teasing smirk, that almost made Spirit feel sad and pity Stein. Clearly many had simply left him because they couldn’t fix him. And always being something to fix had to have taken a toll on him, even if only a little bit.

The fact that Stein just automatically assumed that hurt his heart a little.

It was that that made him want to comfort him.

And it was everything else that made him want to strangle him.

Stein was a chore sometimes. And it could be a chore to try and help him, and to attempt to understand him in any way possible. If it was even possible.

And clearly he knew it.

“No. I’m not giving up on you or anything. Just… stop. Get help or something… shit.. I don’t know..”

The way in which Spirit said that wiped the smirk off of Stein’s face. It wasn’t with the tone he usually heard, the tone of repulsion, indignante, contempt..

It sounded like genuine concern.

This left Stein entirely confused. It wasn’t even concern for the cat or what Stein is up to or anything, just concern for Stein. How odd!

Spirit noticed this shift in attitude. He no longer looked at him directly in the eyes, instead opting for looking up and down, and all around, clearly contemplating something. And when he did look him in the eyes, he looked as though he was a deer in the headlights.

Spirit hesitantly walked over and patted Stein on the shoulder. Stein looked up at him like a confused, scolded child, his eyebrows lightly furrowing.

He even tested his boundaries like a child.

Spirit walked towards the doorway with the look of a concerned parent. He held the knob, preparing to take his leave. Before he did, however, he turned back to say, “Finish up and clean up, Stein. I’ll keep your secret. Don’t kill someone’s pet again. If you do, next time, I will report you. I don’t want to have to do that.”

And he shut the door.

He shut it quietly.

He did not slam it.

He did not kick Stein out.

Nothing.

Stein felt like a young, small child.

Dissection would fix that.

Though he was plagued with thoughts the entire time. Stein was wondering why he couldn’t feel any guilt over this. He felt nothing except curiosity.

Well. Curiosity and like he was just put in time out.

It almost reminded him of something, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Being scolded.

Sometimes Marie’s affection made him feel awfully childish as well.

She seemed to feel so terrible for him.

Stein typically disliked pity, loathed it even. It repulsed him. But for some reason, when Spirit and Marie would give him their little looks, as opposed to repulsion, he just felt like a scolded child. A scolded, insolent child who had no understanding of humanity whatsoever.

It made him want to sit in a corner and never be seen. He did not want to speak to anyone. For what would be the point when there would always exist a barrier between himself and others? When they’d never be able to truly understand him? He only wanted to contemplate the reason as to why. Or reasons, rather.

He continued with his dissection, simultaneously lost in thought.

He’s become terribly addicted to this.

He cannot help it.

He himself may as well be a vice now.

And at the young age of 14.

#soul eater #franken stein #stein #dr stein #stein soul eater #marie mjolnir #spirit albarn #spirit soul eater #death scythe

[inkblot22]

I agree!! aftermaths are ALWAYS my favourite to read during forced pregnancy stories and I actually hate when it ends with the yandere impregnating darling like how do u know if she truly got pregnant? where’s the horror in finding out you’re carrying your rapist’s child(ren)? how does reader deal with that? how does the yandere react to that? (I’m sure he knows but finding out the news from you yourself would surely elicit different emotions) how does he react when you say you wanna get rid of it? how do they both cope as parents? sooo many possibilities!! I’m glad to know the story I requested will not end with epel just impregnating darling!! thank you sm for that <3

also seeing as how both you and the other anon rank epel low I hope to see he be ranked higher in the future >:3

- epel felmier anon 🍎💜

ALL the freaking possibilities! The machinations of the yandere's mind when the baby-trapping (consensual or not) isn't received well is bound to be endlessly fascinating. Idk, stories work well sometimes if you let the reader imagine the hopelessness of a situation, but they work even better if you showcase it.

I'm putting the other stuff under a cut because I'm about to go on a bit of a tangent. Also, I have not read book seven yet, if anyone spoils it, I will temporarily block you until after I have read it.

I ranked Epel a C the first time because I didn't know anything about him at the time, almost every character save for the ones I really loved the designs for were lower than I would put them today, and frankly some were higher. I've done another tier list, this is not the old one. I have a pretty high opinion of most of the characters regardless of their ranking, here's the maker I used.

Okay, so, I feel the need to specifically explain Crewel: I don't like being treated like a dog. Pet play is not my thing, and I do not understand the hype surrounding him whatsoever. Why would I want to hang out with someone who probably smells like a really strong, expensive cologne and refuses to call me anything other than "good boy"? No thanks, y'all can have him. Crowley is self-explanatory.

Riddle, Silver, and Lucius all have their good qualities, I will admit. But I'm the type of person who would avoid both of the people for varying reasons (Riddle is annoying, I don't like being bothered when I'm minding my own fucking business because I'm "breaking the rules" and I don't want to wake up Silver and I don't know enough about him,) and I would get irrationally mad at Lucius for always getting into fights with Grim.

C tier is somewhat similar to D for me. I'd very likely not go out of my way to interact with these guys, but they're either more approachable or less irritating than D tier. I'm sure you can see a trend with at least two of them, but most of these mfs are too high energy or too intense. Sebek is here because while I don't like petplay, I do like degradation and I think he would be excellent at that, given his usual temperament and opinion on humans. Deuce is there because I find him to be a very one-note character. Everyone in this game is well-written, but not everyone can be interesting. Trein is here because I know I'd be constantly getting in trouble in his class for drawing instead of paying attention. By the way, when did people who were 50 become old? Idk I consider old to be like 70+ but maybe that's just because of the people I grew up around.

B tier is characters that I am aware I am sleeping on, with the bonus of Vargas, who I actually like quite a bit. Not enough to put him in higher than B tier, though. Ortho and Idia are sort of a package deal, but I do like Ortho less than I like Idia. Azul pisses me off but I am a sucker for a pathetic man.

EPEL!!! THE ONE WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!! Epel is like Deuce, if Deuce had more of a twisted view of himself. Reading though his little dilemma in book 5 didn't make me sympathize, but it did endear him to me. I can understand getting upset because you are literally unable to express yourself in a way that you would like because of reasons outside of your control. Beyond that, I love it when characters have a secret rough side (sorry Deuce.) Two-faced characters are my favorite thing.

A tier is characters I would like to put in S but I am too scared of them to do so. While C and lower are characters I would avoid because they're annoying, A tier is literally just characters I would avoid because they're freaky. I think people forget that the first interaction we have with Leona is him threatening to beat the shit out of us because we accidentally tripped on his tail. While Trey is sweet, he's the absolute definition of a two-faced character and he's way too observant to be comfortable around. Idk, maybe that makes him boyfriend material. I feel like anyone who has been on this blog at this point already understands my viewpoint of Jade, Floyd, and Rook. They scare the mess out of me and I love them for that.

With S tier, I'm actually going to specify a couple things: Sam is up there because I know I'd constantly be in his shop, buying things with thaumarks I should save just because I know his shop would smell like home. I feel like where a lot of people see Sam and think "this man can FUCK," I see Sam and think "big brother material." The sibling that I am closest to is literally just barely a year younger than Sam. Also, to clarify, I'm Black with family from the south. Grim is also sibling material. He's like a little brother, and I love him for that even though he pisses me off.

Now back to the WHORE KNEE. I very desperately want to bring my personal Vil series to this blog. I think maybe someone else would enjoy it, because what's more lovely than a man who sees what he wants in a person that isn't what he wants but forces to be what he wants anyway? I love that shit. Lilia is prime fodder for coercion fics, and I'd love to see more of those because he's very wise (because he's old as hell) and he's had a lot of practice at being a sweet talker. I think with a gullible reader?? Oh my god??? I'm not shy about my opinion on Malleus, Jamil, and Idia, and I think I talk about Idia a bit too much. Jamil stole my heart from the minute he was all sweet and kind in book 4 because he is so obviously two-faced that only the overly trusting would fall for that. Also, Jafar was something of an awakening for me. Who cares about Aladdin? I want the old man. As for Malleus, I like that he fills out the gap moe trope, but not overly so. He absolutely strikes me as the type to assume he knows best for both parties involved, and if he doesn't assume, he decides for you.

Anyway, knowing me, this list will have switched all over the place in a month's time. Thanks for reading my garbled nonsense.

#twisted wonderland #tw: dark content #tw: dark themes #tw: yandere #twst #the blot talks! #the blot gets personal??? #the blot rants! #anon asks #anon answered #thank you for sending an ask!! #disney twst #yandere #this is really long #i'm so sorry

[aheathen-conceivably]

⭐ 🌨️ (some happiness and some angst hehe)

Aw hello, friend! I hope the holidays are still treating you well ❤️

⭐️: Which one of your OC’s enters a room and immediately lights it up? Do they do it on purpose? Do they enjoy the attention?

Hands down Josephine. Not only is she just stunning, she has that indescribable combination of magnetism, charm, and wittiness that really makes her who she is. Even in a crowd, I think she’s easy to pick up, and her smile in particular can catch your attention and either engage, intimidate, or disarm you (whichever Jo chooses, of course). Jo is absolutely aware of this, and has long used it to her advantage. While she’s not out simply for attention, she does get strength and self-confidence from others, from moving amongst them and feeding off of their energy and reaction to her.

This is part of the reason why the move to rural life has hit her so incredibly hard, and it’s almost like she doesn’t know who she is without being the nucleus of a crowd. She also knows that this is one of her greatest skills, so seemingly not having any outlet for it whatsoever has made her feel useless and defeated. But it’s still part of who she is, it’s only a matter of finding a place for her to shine once again 😉

🌨️: Who was the hardest character to ever say goodbye to?

I already answered this one here, but I’ve gotta say I love your inclination to combine happiness and angst. Truly a woman after my own heart 😇

#ask game #simblr ask game #Josephine Duplanchier extra