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#literally could not move where I intended for the first few runs lmao
mvkagen · 3 years
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processing the things revealed by talking to Persephone would be hard enough without me also having to process the fact that I made it to Greece so quickly while playing with wasd controls
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mxchellesworld · 3 years
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Discuss!
Spencer Reid x Reader
Synopsis; Where the team discusses the question ‘do you kiss after head’, you find out Spencer has too little experience to answer the question so you help him out
Warnings; smut, oral (male receiving), sub!spencer, praise, slight degradation 
a/n; LMAO im so sorry for disappearing again life has been actually kicking my ass but anyways lately i’ve been thinking about subby early season spence so here we go,, hope you enjoy!
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***
Another Friday night and the team was out bar crawling after an easy case. But this time all members were there as it reached 11pm which was rare. Usually Hotch and JJ would have been home by 10:30 and Spencer wouldn’t have been there at all. But there was something light in the air which had all parties concerned sitting packed in a booth, laughing after each sip of their drinks. 
Since it wasn’t your first rodeo together you knew how the night went. It started off with Rossi offering to buy the first few rounds, always whiskey but he made an exception for Penelope. Then again who would deny her anything. 
Once the drinks were flowing and lips got a little loose, the questions would start popping in at the top of your heads. However these were not your run of the mill, ‘hows so and so doing?’ ‘done your taxes yet?’ oh no. The name of the game was discuss where you would all think of a question which would help you dig just a tiny bit deeper into your coworkers sex lives. 
Maybe if you were all sober then you’d avoid thinking of each other in such positions, pun intended, yet in this state your prying minds were open and your stomachs were ready to grow abs from bending over in laughter. 
You raised the margarita glass up clinking it with a fork to get the tables attention. Everyone including Aaron had a smile on their face, ready to hear the intrusive question for the night. 
“Ok my fellow profilers, doctor, and tech genius,” you added pointing at Spencer then Pen, “Do you kiss your partner after they give you head? Discuss!” you finished in your most formal voice. 
Right as you took a swig of your drink the mixed responses of yes and no filled your small space. 
“Why wouldn’t you? You guys especially, if someones willingly trying to swallow then you damn well owe them a kiss,” Emily finished earning nods and ‘exactly’s from JJ, Pen, and yourself. 
“Ok but thats weird. I just can’t explain it but its a no go for me,” Morgan finished. This only gained him a scoff and raised voices, “Hotch man help me out here,” he said looking over to the man hiding his smirk behind the amber liquid. 
“I have to agree with the ladies here Derek,” he said curtly. 
The girls yelped and hooted at Hotch for siding with them while Morgan sat with his arms crossed being the singular person left out as even Rossi agreed. Meanwhile you noticed the presence next to you had shrunk back and wasn’t too active in the conversation. 
“So Spence do you kiss your partner after they,” you trailed off shaking your fist by your cheek and poking your tongue in the side. 
He coughed as he instantly sat up quicker. Even under the dim lights of the bar you could still see the blush creeping up from his neck to his ears and the slightest tint on his cheeks. 
“Oh I uh- I never-” he said looking anywhere but your eyes. 
“You don’t kiss them?” you said raising your brows. 
“No! I-i mean yes. I would I think b-but I haven’t had the chance to actually partake in such.. activities,” he finished finally taking a look into your eyes. 
You could tell he was waiting for you to laugh in his face for being so inexperienced but you felt far from it. If anything you wished you could be the one to show him things. 
That sweet boy had you wrapped around his finger and he didn’t even know it. Maybe it was his naivety considering how exceptionally smart he was. Or maybe it was the cute sweater vests he wore and now he nervously tucked his hair behind his ears. All you knew was that you wanted Spencer Reid and tonight was your night to make it happen. 
You hummed taking in the information, “Well that’s not a bad thing Spence. Everything takes time,” you said putting your hand on his arm for comfort and giving him a smile. 
Going to turn back to face the table you almost didn’t hear Spencer go to speak again, “Do you?” 
Got him.
“Why don’t you find out pretty boy,” you said with a wink as you downed the rest of your marg. In the corner of your eye you could see Spencer shifting in his seat, subtly moving his bag to cover the slowly growing tent in his slacks. 
As the night went by you couldn’t help but really give him a show. You had popped open a button or two on the long sleeve you had on, since it was getting stuffy in the booth. Though when you leaned forward and jutted your chest out, the soft inhale of a breath from the man next to you was just serving as motivation to get bolder. 
For the last hour you called it quits on the alcohol and drank a few glasses of water before you drove home. Spencer had been uncharacteristically quiet ever since your little interactions. 
The team had all gotten up to say their goodbyes. Rossi going by and giving everyone a kiss on each cheek. Derek having to quite literally rangle Penelope from talking to passing by groups on their way out. Then there were two. 
You turned to the side where Spencer was nursing on his coke, “Hey pretty boy, it’s late, let me give you a ride home,” you said grabbing your belongings. 
“Y-yeah ok. Thanks Y/n,” he said getting up. You’d noticed how he still had the burnt orange bag over his crotch. He couldn’t still be hard could he? Well you’d love to find out. 
As gentlemanly as he was, Spencer opened the door for you to exit the building first. The whip of fresh night air cooling on your exposed chest and legs under your skirt. 
You unlocked your car and stepped in, Spencer waiting to hear the little beep signaling his side was open. As he sat down you heard him let out a little whimper. Your head shot over to look at him, you could tell from the flush on his cheeks he didn’t mean to let the noise out. 
Holding in your chuckle you started the ignition and pulled out of the lot, “Can I put on some music?” 
“Yeah I don’t mind,” he said looking over at you with his lips in a line. If it was anyone else, they’d probably think he was uncomfortable but you loved his tiny awkward smiles. 
The ride to his apartment was mostly silent besides a rare quip from Spencer about paper work or fact about an older building you had passed by. It fascinated you to no end hearing him talk. Spencer was a hand speaker, meaning he always used his hands waving them around and making gestures. The pale digits had you captivated. Probably a driving hazard but you couldn’t help but let your mind wander. 
You pulled up into one of the visitor spots and put the car in park. You looked over to see Spencer almost contemplating something. You’d seen the look on his face before when he was looking over puzzles. 
“Somethin on your mind Doc?” you said with a small smile. As cute as he looked when he was nervous, you’d never want him to feel uncomfortable around you. 
“Would you-,” he cleared his throat, “Wo- Would you maybe want to c-come inside?” 
“Of course Spence I’d love to,” you finished with a reassuring nod. 
As he led you upstairs you were giddy with anticipation. So what if nothing happened. He was your friend first and you were glad he was letting you into his personal space. Even if you wanted nothing more than to have him writhi-
“Y/n?” 
The door closing snapped you out of your thoughts. You didn’t even realize you were in his living room. The dark green walls and shelves bursting with books put a grin on your face, “Sorry Doc, just caught up in my thoughts. What did you say hun?” 
His brows practically raised to his hairline from hearing the pet name. While he was used to the names coming from Garcia they took a whole different light coming from your lips. 
“I was asking if you wanted water or something,” he said fiddling with the keys in his hands. Eyes darting everywhere but your face so you wouldn’t be able to see the flush rising on his cheeks. 
“No I’m fine thanks for asking though,” you said taking a seat on the worn leather couch. 
You reached for the tv remote making a face at Spencer to ask for permission. He nodded and you settled back turning on an old sitcom that played late at night. 
As the episode ended you both sat in silence. Again you didn’t mind but you could practically hear the cogs moving in Spencer’s brain. 
You were about to speak when he cut you off before you could even get a word out, “What did you mean by ‘why don’t you find out’.”
Gaining confidence you moved closer to where he was on the couch, slow enough for him to stop you in case he wanted to back out. 
“Well you have options pretty boy,” you said moving a leg to straddle him. Your hands instinctively going to his brown locks. You could’ve sworn you heard a little moan leave his chapped lips. Noted. 
“W-what are the options,” lust blown eyes looked up to yours. 
“One, you can put that mouth to good use on me,” you said trailing your finger over his bottom lip, “and let me cum over that pretty face.” 
His eyes shut hearing your words and you weren’t having it, “Nuh uh eyes on me honey,” instantly they were back on yours. 
“Or number two. I can suck you off and let you cum down my throat, but,” you paused making sure to roll your hips on his growing length, “ you have to give me a nice big smooch after.” 
The hands on your hips pulled you closer as he bucked his hips into you as you finished the sentence. It was clear which option was preferred. 
You moved to slide down in between his legs. You let your hands trail down his clothed thighs, causing him to jump. 
“Tsk such a needy boy,” you said mockingly, “Am I not going fast enough baby?”
“Please Y/n,” he all but whimpered. It was like music to your ears. 
Your hands went to his belt, looking up in his eyes for a final sign of permission. Once he nodded you quickly undid it and he lifted his hips to help get his pants down. You palmed him over his boxers, feeling the wet patch where he was already leaking pre cum. 
“Is this all for me Spence? Does the thought of my lips around you make you this hard,” you said taking him out of the striped confines. 
“Oh god please just,” he cut himself off. You could see his hands curling fists besides his legs. 
“Please what baby? I can’t give you anything unless you ask.” Your hands continued their task of leisurely stroking his length. 
“Fuck please put your mouth on me,” he rushed out, hips bucking to prove his point. 
The answer was good enough for you so you wasted no time in leaning forward and taking him in your mouth. Both of you let out content sighs as you tried to take him further. 
You looked up to see him with his head leaned back, eyes scrunched closes in pleasure. 
You pulled off with a pop, letting your hand work him over. “Better keep those pretty eyes on me before I decide you can’t finish.”
He looked down with a flash of worry, that was quickly replaced by a loud moan as you spit down on his cock before taking him in your mouth again. 
For a germaphobe, Spencer loved how nasty it was. He was thanking god or whatever higher being there was for giving him his eidetic memory because the sight below him was something he’d never wanna forget. 
Your eyes were teary and you had spit dribbling down your chin but he wanted nothing more than to give you more than just a kiss after you finished. Or well after he finishes. 
You could tell he was close by the way he was throbbing on your tongue. Again taking him out of your mouth you used both hands to jerk him off. 
“You’re doing such a good job baby. So good for me. You wanna cum in my mouth pretty boy?”
“God Y/n I’m so close please please please,” he whimpered out. 
“Cum for me baby, be my good boy Spence,”  you said before taking him down your throat. He was big, not girthy but long and it was a struggle but you’d be damned if you didn’t try to take him all. 
Hollowing your cheeks you bobbed your head quickly, egging on his release further. His hands finally found a place in the back of your head. Pushing you down further as he came. 
“F-fuck Y/n I’m gonna”
His moans and whines were a symphony of sounds you’d have on repeat in your head forever. 
You swallowed the salty release but before you could even wipe your lips you were being pulled up by Spencer placing his lips on yours. You moaned into the kiss, his hands gripped the sides of your face not wanting to let you go. 
The need for air made you both pull back. You looked at one another, chests heaving and looking like you ran a marathon. 
Then a sad look came across his face. 
“Spencer what’s wrong?” 
“You didn’t get any pleasure,” he said looking like a hurt puppy. Oh your sweet boy. 
“It’s ok baby, I can take care of myself,” you tried to shrug off.
He was quick to push you back on the couch, taking the spot you were previously in. His warm lips trailing down your exposed thighs. 
“I wanna do it, but only if you kiss me after.” 
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dr3amofagame · 3 years
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haha your snippit abt the dispenser got me thinking.
Dream gets let out of prison and he talks constantly, whatever is on his mind. And he's positive all the time. To a fault where people walk over him. And it doesn't make sense because he was tortured right???? But after an incident they find out it's because he hates the sound of silence and needs constant reminders that other people are there. Also he was punished for any negative emotions in the prison so his default is happy now,,,
hi anon !! this concept makes me SO goddamn sad ,, the idea that he Has to be happy bc anything else would mean punishment im so *punches the walls*
this ,, ficlet is honestly. pretty ooc, not really related to the ask at all, and mostly an excuse for me to cry abt c!dream and c!punz for an excessive amount of time (technically the vote on twitter was supposed to have this as c!sapnap pov, but i just wrote one for him so i went for c!punz instead. mostly bc i wanted to write him LMAO). hopefully someone enjoys it despite *gestures vaguely* all of that mess
tw: trauma, disordered eating, implied torture/abuse, blood, injuries, unhealthy coping mechanisms, emotional distress, thoughts of murder/mercy killing, mentioned animal death, dark content
In the end, it’s all rather anticlimactic, the complete opposite of Dream’s vault and the whole fiasco of adrenaline and theatrics that had made up that day. Quackity ended up having one too many drinks, bragged about the wrong thing to the wrong person - Punz doesn’t know the specifics, only knows that one thing has led to another and suddenly Sapnap was screaming at his ex-fiancé, sword pointed at his chest and tears streaming down his eyes in the middle of the Community House floor, everyone else stood around and watching. A look into Quackity’s office said everything he didn’t - the chests and chests of used and new tools, shiny and sharpened and completely rusted over with blood and everything in between. There’s been a balled up shirt in the wastebasket, completely unsalvageable from how saturated it was with blood, more red than white, and perhaps most chilling of all the calendar, marked with X after X in red pen, going back months and speaking to their utter failure to see what had been happening all but right in front of them.
With Quackity down, Sam caved not too long after, and with his input getting into the prison was no challenge at all. The only thing holding them back were bad memories and the tense, worried edge to Sam’s jaw as he led the small group of them - himself and Sapnap, actually entering the facility, Bad and Puffy waiting outside - carrying them through winding corridor after winding corridor and lava pit after lava pit, until they’d come to stand before a chasm filled with flowing lava, slowly draining before the main cell.
“I- I have to warn you,” Sam had muttered, uncharacteristically hesitant, “it looks…pretty bad,” and Punz would’ve questioned him further, but the lava had fallen far enough to reveal the topmost edge of the cell, so they let Sapnap hound the Warden for information as they directed their full attention on the cell itself and holy shit.
Nothing Sam said could’ve possibly have prepared them for the sight - it was a complete fucking bloodbath, crimson painting the walls and smeared over the floor and splattered over every visible surface like some abstract art experiment gone wrong. The stench of iron and burning flesh and viscera was awful, even over the gap marked by the still-draining lava. Punz strained his eyes; at the very back of the cell, huddled, unmoving, was a similarly bloodstained shape that must’ve been Dream. They remember the crack of Sapnap’s knuckles meeting Sam’s face and breaking his nose, remember themselves chucking a pearl and feeling along Dream’s neck desperately for a pulse - everything beyond that became a swirl of voices and panic and crying that makes their head hurt to think about, so they don’t.
Recovery is…messy. The physical side had been bad enough - pulling Dream out of the cell, barely breathing, limp in his arms and far too light, all Punz could think about was a sheep he’d found a year ago, frail and struggling to breathe, one he’d ended up killing - quick and painless - with a sword through the skull because it seemed kinder than letting it suffer. Watching Dream struggle on the bed, laid up in Bad’s mansion because none of them knew if he’d survive going any further, body resisting the potions they’d slowly forced down his throat after being so over-saturated on them, temperature spiking and heat baking into his skin like the lava from the prison had been imprinted onto his body, Punz feels the same strange mixture of pity and unease, wonders if it’d be a hell of a lot kinder if they just put him out of his fucking misery.
Still, because Dream is a stubborn bastard, against all odds, he ends up surviving - his fever breaks, the potions begin taking effect, and a few tireless, aching days later his eyes flutter open, lucid for the first time in a week. Punz isn’t even in the room when he wakes, only knows that it happens because the too-quiet room suddenly erupts in noise and activity, muffled thumps and sounds of a struggle undercutting Bad’s frantic calls for someone to help, anyone, and they run into the room to find Dream thrashing on the bed, wounds reopened and blood dripping onto the sheets, eyes wild and wide as his head whips from side to side so hard Punz is half-afraid that he’ll straight up break his neck. Somehow, worst of all, not a single scream falls from his lips, nothing but muffled whines squeezing past his mouth, clenched shut, and for a singular, awful second they wonder how long it took before he realized that screaming was useless.
Fortunately enough for them, or unfortunately, it’s not like he can tell the fucking difference anymore, the panic and strain end up with Dream passing out altogether, and they trade uneasy glances with Bad before going to clean off the worst of his wounds. If everything they’re doing feels hopeless, dressing up wounds that’ll be torn open hours later when Dream is awake enough to feel fear but not much else because he’s forgotten what it’s like to not be afraid - well, that’s for them to think and everyone else to pretend not to agree with.
Weeks pass along the same vein - Dream wakes up, panics; they try to calm him down, fails; he falls back into unconsciousness, and they move on and pretend that they’re cleaning up wounds from battle and not from someone that’s literally been tortured for months on end. People stop by, occasionally; Puffy spends more time than not inside the mansion, but hardly ever enters the door into Dream’s room, Sapnap and George drop by occasionally with potion brewing supplies that the rest of them can’t go out to get; once, he’d gone out to the front door to find a chest with an enchanted golden apple, sender nowhere in sight. He knows that the server is busy; Quackity’s admission had brought more than a few secrets to light, and from what they understand, the political fallout has been pretty damn messy. Still, he stays in the mansion, and watches.
He doesn’t exactly know why he stays. They’re not a stellar healer, not beyond what they know to dress their own wounds, and spend most of their time doing odd-and-ends tasks for Bad, who looks more tired than ever. Maybe it’s because he’s seen Dream at his worst more than the rest of them, had been there through his entire fall from grace, watched as his eyes became clouded with anger and madness and a single, desperate hope that he’d chased at the cost of his world and himself. Maybe it’s because they have no ties to the rest of the server - not to Las Nevadas, falling apart under the scrutiny of the eyes that now fall upon it, not Snowchester, caught up in the chaos, not the Badlands, half-dissolved after the fiasco of the Egg and with Sam’s actions having just come to light. Maybe it’s because above everything else, he feels guilty.
They’d thought the prison was the answer. It’d seemed too simple, back in that Vault - a perfect answer, because everyone else was perfectly happy to watch Dream die another time and some part of them had clenched painfully at the thought even thought they knew it was for the best. The prison meant that he’d be alive, if angry, and at some point when he had the time or the nerve or the guts he could go and visit, and they would talk, and Dream would be angry but with time maybe he could even understand.
They hadn’t wanted this. He can’t imagine anyone wanting this.
“Punz?” They don’t jump at the voice at their back, they don’t, but Bad still has a tiny, tight-lipped smile when they turn around anyway, eyes creased in the corners and still not as bright as they’d been before the Egg. Bad looks at him knowingly, setting a bowl of soup into his hands. “For Dream, if you can get him to eat.” He shifts a pointed gaze towards the door. “Maybe you two could talk.”
“About what?” The words come out harsher than they intend, and they take a moment to bite back the mostly self-directed anger that Bad doesn’t deserve to receive the brunt of. “I just-” he waves his hand in the air, trying to articulate the mess that is his relationship with Dream without the words to explain it. “I don’t know, man.”
“You don’t have to talk about everything,” Bad says, calm as always, eyes flicking down to the bowl of soup in his hands. “Just start with the soup.”
Punz sighs. “I’ll try.”
He enters the room in a single, fluid motion, mostly because he knows that if he were to stop at the door then he’d never actually make his way in. Dream flinches back when they enter, eyes going wide and stance going rigid, and the familiarity doesn’t make the sight any easier to bear as they wait, as always, for Dream’s eyes to clear enough for him to realize he’s in the mansion and not stuck in that same obsidian hellhole.
“I brought soup,” they say, finally, when Dream looks up. Dream’s lips twitch up in what he probably means as a smile; between the still-healing gashes on his face and the fear that flashes over his expression, still, it comes out as more of a grimace.
“Thanks.” Dream looks away. “I’ll eat it later.”
Liar, Punz thinks tiredly, moving closer to set the bowl down on the nightstand by the bed. They frown as Dream’s expression goes slack and distanced, again, eyes fixed to stare blankly at the wall once again.
“You should have some now,” he tries, careful to keep his words even. “You need the calories.”
“I’m good,” Dream says, automatic, just shy of sincere. “Thank you.”
“Dream,” they don’t quite succeed at keeping a displeased sigh from falling from their lungs, and bite back a curse at themselves when Dream pulls back with a silent flinch. It’s so goddamn hard, to talk to this version of Dream, both of them feeling around the edges of their relationship like walking on goddamn eggshells. A few months ago, he would’ve straight up called Dream out on his bullshit, get it through his thick skull that the whole ‘I’m fine and don’t need anyone’ act was stupid and completely failing to convince him. Here, they bite back another sigh, look forlornly at the bowl of the soup on the nightstand, sure to go uneaten once again, and force themselves to sound completely neutral when they speak again. “Alright. You’ll have to eat at some point, though.”
“Mmhm,” Dream hums noncommittally, once again staring at the wall. Punz stares at his hands. This is so fucking pointless.
“So,” they say after a few seconds, Bad’s words echoing in their head - they can try to make an effort to talk, sure. It’s just that Dream’s not going to cooperate. “How are you, man?”
The words come out stilted, awkward. He looks up to watch Dream’s expression, as the other man begins to gnaw on the inside of his cheek.
“I’m good,” he says, words deliberately light. “You?”
“Dream…”
“I’m fine.” Dream’s voice sharpens suddenly, breath hitching, before he shakes his head and turns his head away. “I’m fine.”
Punz looks at him incredulously. “Are you serious? Do we need to get into exactly how not-fine you are?” They wave a hand in his direction, jaw clenching when he rears back. “Do ‘fine’ people lose their minds from someone waving at them, now?”
“I-” For a second, Dream glares at him, eyes burning with a familiar, irritated fire that Punz knows all-too-well from having it directed at him a few too many times, before it suddenly dies and Dream is swinging his head back to the bedsheets, hands tightening on the cloth as he stammers. “I- What do you want?”
Punz breathes a soft sigh, regret blooming in the center of their chest. “Sorry,” he mumbles, careful to keep their gestures overly-telegraphed and away from the other man’s face. “I’m just- you’re not okay, man. No one’s expecting you to be okay after...all of that.”
“But why?”
Dream’s voice is small, nearly a sob, and Punz directs wide, alarmed eyes to where he’s hunched in over himself, knees pulled to his chest, hands staring at the sheets pulled over them. “Why?” he says, again, quieter, lip trembling slightly.
“Because you were tortured,” Punz begins, words slow as they watch Dream’s expression, trying to pull out the thoughts behind his averted eyes, “Because the cell was inhumane, and nobody deserves to be treated like that. Because you were hurt very, very badly because of what we did, and none of us are expecting you to be fine right after going through months of trauma.” He pauses. “You know that, right?”
“But I’m out,” Dream says, quiet, disbelieving, instead of answering their question. “I’m out of there. It’s over. It’s- everything’s good,” he whispers, more to himself than to them, hands curling into fists and then uncurling. “I’m- they said I would never get out. And I’m outside, and it’s not- not the cell, and I get real food, and Quackity doesn’t visit anymore,” he shakes his head, eyes squeezing shut as his breath catches in his throat. “I’m happy- I should be happy. Right?”
“Oh Dream,” the other man flinches back, breath quickening, and Punz’s hand stops short from where he’d almost let it fall onto the other’s shoulder. “You don’t have to be happy, man. Not- not after all of that. Not if you’re not ready yet.” Dream’s eyes, wide and wet, rise to look at their own, and they feel more than hear the soft, wounded noise that leaves their lips. “It’s ok to be hurt. It’s ok to be scared. No one’s blaming you, alright? No one’s gonna hurt you anymore.”
This, more than anything, seems to be the breaking point, because Dream collapses forward, hands flying up to pull at his tangled hair before Punz manages to ease them away and into his own hands, watching as he grips onto them until his knuckles go white. His breathing shudders, quiet, even his sobs muffled as to make as little noise as possible, and they murmur meaningless croons and hums as he cries into their chest.
“I wanna- I wanna be okay,” he hiccups, and Punz smooths his hair back behind their hand.
“I know,” he swallows around the lump that has risen in his own throat. “I’m sorry.”
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automaticneon · 3 years
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Hunting Season
Helmut Zemo X Fem!Reader
Summary: Going into hiding isn’t easy, and you and Zemo have to find new ways to entertain yourselves. Your Baron wants to introduce you to something a little different today.
Warnings: Very not safe for tumblr lmao. BratTamer!Zemo comes out in full force, inappropriate use of a riding crop, impact play, Zemo in leather gloves (that deserves its own warning in my opinion), oral (fem receiving) but with ✨added spice✨
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When your new partner Zemo had said that you were going to have to lay low for a while, there was evidently an error in communication.
You see in your world flying under the radar meant months travelling between safehouses and run-down apartments, living out of your rucksack and calculating how long you could make your rations last before you had to emerge to restock. 
In Zemo’s world that meant something entirely different.
After his escape in Riga the two of you had rendezvoused and begun the long drive to Austria, hesitant to take the jet out of fear the Dora Milaje would be keeping tabs on it. After two days of driving and an overnight stop in Poland the two of you had finally arrived at the location Helmut had deemed sensible for your hiding place. 
A sprawling country manor somewhere between Vienna and Graz. 
“I inherited it from my mothers side,” he told you when you first entered the light airy entry hallway, as if it was a common occurrence that someone would inherit such a place.
It was times like these that you were reminded that you and Helmut were not cut from the same cloth, he was a literal Baron and you were only an agent of S.H.E.I.L.D. 
Had been. You had been an agent of S.H.E.I.L.D. You were now technically a fugitive of the law, wanted for aiding and abetting the escape of your criminal boyfriend.
It took a lot of time to adjust to your new life in the manor, but Zemo was ever so patient with you. He never berated you for getting lost in the long hallways, was always patient when you asked about the difference between a Baron and an Earl, and humoured you when you quizzed him about the events frequented by aristocracy. 
Eventually you began to feel at home. You and Helmut fell into a happy routine of exploring the house and grounds and enjoying each others company. 
Of course these activities were all interspersed with a healthy dose of fucking. Frantic, groping sex hiding behind marble statues in the sculpture gallery, giving fashion shows to Zemo in all the new clothes he bought you just so he could tear them off you again, kneeling between his thighs in the parlour whilst he enjoyed his evening whisky. 
The two of you couldn’t get enough of each other.
“I should take you to see the stables tomorrow” he muses one night, trailing the tips of his fingers over your exposed back  “I want you to meet the horses before I take you out one”
“You should know then that I can’t ride to save my life” you warn.
An amused smile spreads across Zemo’s tired face.
“I beg to differ” he quips roguishly, breaking out into a smug laugh when you slap his chest in admonishment, 
“Don’t be crude, I’m being serious!”
“And so am I, you broke me tonight my love. You can be a cruel mistress when you want to be” he says, pressing a tender kiss on the top of your head.
“I learnt from the best” you say, and return the kiss with a brief peck against his chest.
“And I’m sure you’ll learn a lot more”
-
The sun over the grounds the next morning was bright and crisp, dispelling the mist from the lake and leaving behind a pleasant climate for your walk.
“You look lovely,” Zemo says as you meet him in the entry hall. He’s fixing the lapels of his long brown overcoat in one of the ornate mirrors and his warm eyes find the reflection of yours as you approach from behind. He picks up his trusty pair of worn leather gloves and slides them on, flexing his fingers to soften the material.
Ever the gentleman he offers you the crook of his arm.
“Shall we?”
-
The two of you make pleasant conversation as Zemo leads you through the grounds of the estate. Today he’s full of promises about the future, it warms you to know he intends to make this last.
“I should take you into Vienna soon, I know a place where they perform Mozart by candlelight”
“Have you been to any races before? We could visit Monaco, or perhaps somewhere in Spain would be less conspicuous”
“I promise we won’t always have to hide like this”
The stable was an old building, as old as the house, but impeccably well maintained. The stalls, of which many were empty, were arranged around a courtyard and as you wondered around the perimeter Zemo pointed to the various amenities.
“Back when we still hosted the hunting season this place would have been filled with horses. My mothers side of the family took great pride in their collection” he said as you stopped to pet the nose of a great black horse.
“You hunt?” 
“Not personally, my parents were fans of the tradition of it all”  he says, his gloves creaking as he flexes his fingers “I joined the army very young. I suppose when you start killing out of necessity, killing for sport becomes somewhat repugnant.” 
You knew very little about Zemo’s time in the army. From what you could gather it had been a particulalry unpleasant time in his life, one born from a sense of duty to his country and a need to establish his place in the world before he took up the mantle of Baron. 
Helmut’s aversion to hunting didn’t seem to impact his care towards the horses, he told you each of their names and ages and you admired how healthy and shiny their coats looked. 
As you walked he kept a hand on the back of your neck, a possessive little gesture that he had taken to recently. The warm leather of his gloves a relaxing presence as he lead you through the tack room, a clean and chalky white room with a high vaulted ceiling. Your footsteps echoed on the stone floors as you admired the expensive riding gear mounted on the wall, stopping at a collection of leather riding crops.
“Oh Baron,” you teased, plucking one from the wall “very kinky” 
Helmut gave you a lazy smile as you reached out and tapped the flat end of the crop against his cheek, huffing out a little laugh before taking it from you. 
“Careful there my love, you could do real damage with that.”
You laugh and move to perch on the sturdy wooden worktable in the centre of the room.
“As if I’d ever want to hurt your pretty face, Helmut” 
“I’m flattered, but it’s hardly a matter of if you’d want to,” he says, fixated on tapping the crop in his open palm “you need good training to use these properly.”
You narrow your eyes. You’re fairly sure that he’s sizing you up right now, trying to figure out if you’re down for whatever it is he has planned. 
You decide to bite the bait.
“Do you think you’re well trained, Baron?” 
For a fraction of a second he doesn’t respond, keeping you trapped in his levelled gaze instead. His nostrils flare and he puffs his chest ever so slightly.
“Get up,” he says in a tone that verges on cold. 
You obey, but the sparkle of a challenge still glints in the deep of your eyes. If Zemo notices he doesn’t make it known, simply clenching his jaw as you come to stand before him.
“Turn around and put your hands on the table,” he instructs, and you can feel his gaze on you as you comply. 
“We’re going to try something new today. You can always say no if you want to,” he says, placing his hand between your shoulder blades and pushing, bending you slightly over the table.
Experimenting wasn’t anything new with you and Zemo, over the last few months the two of you had tried just about everything that took your fancy in the bedroom. You were fairly sure you knew what he had planned, particularly from the way he was using the riding crop to tease the inside of your leg, but you still wanted him to say it out loud.
“What do you have planned?” you ask, and your voice gives out just a little when Helmut uses the crop to make the tiniest slap against your leg.
“Five hits. If you can take five hits I’ll give you something special in return” he says, lifting the hem of your floaty skirt with the crop until it rests on the small of your back and leaves you exposed to him.
You know he’d give you something in return no matter what happened. If you noped-out after one swat? No problem. You had complete faith in this man to make sure you stayed happy and satisfied and so you arch your back a little in anticipation. 
Helmut smooths his gloved hand over the globe of your ass, lulling you into a soothed state before stepping back. You don’t look back at him; the silence and the tantalizing suspense only adding to the excitement growing between your legs.
You register the sound of the hit before you register the pain.
The soft whoosh and harsh crack echoes around the high ceilings and bounces off the white-washed walls. It’s not a strong hit, barely even a swat. Zemo had used more force with regular spanks before yet the harsh bite of the leather crop still startles you.
“Alright?” He asks, and finally you turn your head to face him.
A rogue strand of hair dangles over his forehead and his pupils have blown to swallow up his hazel eyes. Helmut looked as though he was holding onto his sanity by a thread, and that was a thread you wanted to break. 
You nod, not trusting your voice to remain levelled and instead turn to face forward again to await the second hit. 
The next swat was just the same as the first, but with the now tender condition of your skin it hurt slightly more. The third was ever so slightly harder, forcing a yelp out of you and making your nails dig into the wooden table. 
Zemo puts down the crop for a moment, coming to stand behind you and hovering his hand over the welts you’re sure are forming on your ass. You peer over your shoulder at him, watching the way his breath comes in quick pants as he examines his handiwork.
His eyes flit up to briefly meet yours before using his teeth to pull off one of his leather gloves and he tentatively brings his fingers between your legs, careful not to touch the tender flesh of your rear. His fingertips gently run along the clothed seam of your pussy, feeling the way your arousal is soaking your underwear.
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” he quizzes as you tremble under his touch. His fingers find your clit through the fabric and begin to circle it, letting out a low chuckle the way you moan and slouch at the contact. 
“God your wet,” he berates, and that momentarily sated spark reignites at his tone. 
“I’d be a lot wetter if you actually put your back into it” you quip, and Helmut’s fingers still. You keep pushing.
 “I assumed you were trained well with these. I guess I was wrong” 
Your Baron doesn’t respond, and you can practically hear the last strands of his self restraint snapping. 
Grabbing his discarded glove, Zemo presses himself against you fully, using his weight to pin you down against the table. The expensive material of his trousers rub against the sore skin of your ass, and you can feel his arousal pressed into you as he uses one hand to grasp your jaw.
“You’re going to regret that, мали зека” he warns against your ear, tightening his grip to force your mouth open and stuff it with his leather glove. 
Zemo steps back, pulling his other glove off and pressing it into your palm.
“You drop that glove and this all stops. If you don’t, then I don’t want to hear anything else from that smart mouth” he says, picking up the crop and taking his place again. 
You love it when he gets like this. When you’ve broken down that cool and collected exterior you know that both you and your pussy will be paying for it for days to come. Not that you have a single complaint about that, though.
The next hit catches you entirely off guard. It’s much harder, causing your skin to warm instantly and your body to jolt against the table. Helmut waits, probably to see if you drop the glove.
When you don’t he delivers the final hit, so harsh that the tears pooling in your eyes spill over, trailing down your cheeks and mixing with the drool that has begun to dribble from the corner of your gagged mouth. 
You don’t realise that your face had pressed itself against the table-top until Helmut is pulling you back up. He pulls the glove from your mouth, using one had to smooth your hair away from your face in a soothing gesture. 
“It’s over,” He says, pressing his lips to yours in a frenzied kiss “you did so well.”
He shrugs off his coat, placing the material on the table and guiding your head back down, giving you a soft place to rest your head.
“Do you want your reward?” he asks, stepping back behind you again.
“Uh-huh” you nod against the soft coat, all of the fight had been drained from your body, evidently the ability to speak had gone with it too.
You feel as Helmut slowly pulls your underwear over the curve of your ass and down your legs, shushing you softly when you whine over the soreness of your skin. He nudges your feet apart, and you feel him kneeling down behind you. 
His hands find purchase around your waist, and he presses a kiss to the skin of your ass, being careful to find a place that doesn’t have any welts. His breath fans across your skin as he moves to press a kiss directly on your pussy, pulling away to listen to your breathy sigh. After the pain, soft and pure pleasure felt so good. 
Helmut buries himself into the warm wetness, feasting on your pussy whilst you moan into his coat. His signature smell clings to the fabric and fills your nose, fisting your hands into the silky lining you pull the coat closer to you.
It’s almost embarrassing how quickly he manages to make you cum like this. All he has to do is bring one of his fingers to circle your fluttering, soaked hole and he has you falling apart on his tongue. 
He holds you up as you practically sob into his coat, pressing fleeting kisses against your swollen pussy until your aftershocks stop. Helmut raises to his feet, gently pulling up your underwear and fixing your skirt, trailing kisses up your back until he reaches your head.
“How was that?” he asks, his voice quiet and tender.
“Good,” you push yourself up from the table shakily, letting Helmut keep his hands on your arms to keep you upright “you’re waiting on me hand and foot for the rest of the week though” 
Helmut laughs, picking up his jacket and draping it over your shoulders.
“Of course,” he says, pulling you in for a tender kiss “your wish is my command”
You kiss him back, smiling into the embrace as a few ideas for revenge spring to mind.
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itsnothesameasitwas · 3 years
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hiii! this month I’ve read a lot of great fics, so I decided is time to start my monthly fic rec… that means I’ll be doing a short fic rec and recap every month with my favorite fics of the month
note: the fics I’ll be mentioning weren't necessarily posted recently
!!! - please be careful and read all the tags and/or warnings before start reading and left kudos and nice messages to the authors <33
❀ Divinely Blessed by thinlines @thinlinez  | 17k | Explicit | ABO | fic post
“I heard you, Ni. But what do you mean?”
“What do you mean what I mean?”
Harry rolled his eyes as he shoved his alpha friend down onto a seat. “Did you mean you lick someone out or…?”
“Nah, mate! It was me! I got licked out!” Harry could only stare at Niall in horror.
Alpha Harry prides himself on having the bravest and most caring omega who might or might not just fulfill his sudden curiosity.
note: for some reason i don’t know i fell in love with the ABO and found this fic someway and WOW! it’s really fluffy and sweet and while i was reading all i could think about was “god! i really want someone who love me like Harry loves Lou and viceversa” and also has a great smut scene, funny and well writen (cliff ily babe)
❀ Promise me you won’t run away by thinlines | 23k | Explicit | ABO | Español
“Does kissing me stop you from having bad thoughts?” Harry asked, voice muffled into the collar of Louis’ dress shirt. Louis chuckled at this. He trailed a hand down Harry’s back, feeling the muscles tensing along with his touch.
“I guess you can say that. You’re a good distraction.”
“Then I will be the best distraction.” Harry answered, pulling back and watched Louis’ lips unashamedly.
“Come distract me, then.”
Or the Prince/ Knight AU in which Harry left Louis, but the omega never once gave up on them.
note: this fic is beautiful and really REALLY well written, i need to say i cried and im the most cold person in the world but this caught me and I LOVED IT! but also when i finished it i got mad because in the end notes was the spanish translation and i read it in english lmao; anyway i love it!!!... summing this up, the fic made me thought about that LOVE ALWAYS WIN <33
❀ Twist the knife by jishler @jishlerfics | 6k | Explicit | Angst / Smut | fic post
Infuriating, but Louis missed it. Louis missed him. His thighs and his chest and breath and warmth and toothbrush next to Louis’. He missed sex with Harry but he missed his presence more: Louis would settle for watching Harry get himself off if it meant he got to see him; hear the voice that was like a soothing balm over all his wounds.
Two weeks after their breakup, Harry wants his toys back.
note: i definetely don’t read smut in purpose and the reason i’ve read this was because i love the moodboard BUT i need to thank the person who put it on my dash because i liked it so much!! was fun to read and the smut is pretty well written :))
❀  Hold you now by solvetheminourdreams @solvetheminourdreams | 131k | Angst with happy ending | fic post | playlist
The string within Harry's own sweatpants is now dangling outside of his pocket, stretched so far out that the seams of his pants have tightened. His eyes remain hyper focused on Louis, how oblivious he is—scrolling through his phone without a care in the world, while Harry feels his tilt on its axis.
Three years ago, Harry Styles said goodbye to communications consultancy firm McQuiston Worldwide, leaving a life of travel and agency PR behind. When he accompanies his best friend to a family wedding across the Atlantic, he'll be forced to reopen old wounds and face his past—one that no one wants to hash out, but may just have to.
note: at the end of the first chapter i was emotional, is the kind of fic that you feel every single emotion, the one you literally feel are part of it... it’s perfectly well written and please give it a chance and  check all the stef’s works because she’s a super talented writer... if i say something else i’ll probably do spoilers so, shut up ana.
❀ The money mark by brightgolden @brightgolden | 52k | Explicit | ABO | fic post
Harry's heart beats faster in his chest as the name sinks in. The Tomlinson name is awfully familiar, and he isn’t sure how many rich Tomlinsons are out here in London, but he knew one. Seven years ago.
Like all fine things in the world, Louis Tomlinson ages exceptionally well.
OR
Where Louis is Harry’s first sugar daddy who dumped him over text and their paths cross, seven years later.
note: THIS IS MY FAVORITE FIC OF THE YEAR. sorry, but this fic is super well written, is omega harry + alpha louis and find smth like this is almost impossible! but i loved the fact that harry could be an omega and a sugar baby but he’s independant and strong and wow! it’s amazing; everyone should read it because it’s really good!! (ps. louis is the alpha of my dreams, he’s a complete gentlemen)
❀ Sweet like candy by neodiamond @neondiamond | 4k | General Audiences | ABO | fic post
Louis is an Alpha with an odd obsession for gummy bears. Harry is an Omega who makes friends a little too easily. They meet on the bus.
note: this is the cutest fluffy fic I have ever read! strangers to friends to lovers <333
❀ Literally making love by Brooklyn_babylon @twopoppies | 30k | Explicit | Robot/Human Relationship | fic post
Holding up one of the android's eyes to the workshop’s windows, he smiled as the light picked up the gold flecks in the pale green of his irises. Louis had always paid attention to even the tiniest details.
--
All Louis intended to do was rescue someone in need from loneliness. He had no idea it would be himself.
note: science + me = signal error BUT this fic. OMG. how to say this is one of the fics would be in my recap at the end of the year; i have read another fic by Gina and was really good but this is probably my favorite between both of them... all i know and want now is to create my perfect partner lmao. 
❀ I’m gonna keep this love, if you let me by pixies @tomlinbuns | 26k | Explicit | ABO | fic post
Louis makes Harry pretend to be his boyfriend one night out. The rest is history.
note: this one is simple to discribe... the best of the best. one of my favorites abo fics, funny, teasing and very romantic. i enjoyed so much read how these two guys fell in love with each other. god bless this fic <33
❀ Beautiful stranger by lovelarry10 @chloehl10 | 66k | Explicit | ABO / Mpreg | fic post
“Did you want to- oh. Uh, sorry, I-” Harry stuttered, licking his lips as he looked over Louis’ bare torso, not focusing on the ocean ahead of him. “You’re very distracting, Lou.”
“Trying to tell me you haven’t seen a topless Omega before?” Louis asked, walking back to his rucksack and grabbing a bottle of suncream out of it before returning to stand by Harry.
“Not one as stunning as you,” he thought he heard Harry mutter as he started to rub the cream into his shoulders.
*****
When Alpha Harry Styles attends the Gucci Cruise 2020 show, he knows what to expect: clothes, clutch bags, and a few too many pretentious people. What he doesn’t expect, however, is to run into an Omega who is more beautiful than anything on the runway.
note: this fic is from 2019 but who cares, i loved it so much and i want to thank/blame @justalarryblog​ because she unintentionally recommended it to me in her abo fic rec post and now i want someone like this harry in my life... is it too much to ask? because is one of the most beautiful abo fics i’ve read this month and wow. if you haven’t read it yet, what are you waiting for??
❀ Waiting on you by beckywritesthings @beckydoesthings  | 21k | Mature | Mpreg | fic post
“Do you want to touch?” Harry asks, taking one of his hands off to tangle with Louis’. His open invitation finally drags Louis’ attention away from his baby and up to his face, blue eyes wobbly with emotions. It’s clear that he’s too taken to really form words, so Harry takes the initiative to press their laced hands against his shirt fabric, warmth from the skin radiating through.
Louis pushes his shirt up to his chest, taking Harry’s hand and pressing it to hold the fabric in place. His hands return to warm skin, palms even more scalding now that there’s nothing in between them. And then, as if that wasn’t enough for Harry’s heart to handle, Louis leans in, pressing his lips right above his belly button.
“Hi, baby,” he says, lips moving across his skin softly. “I’m your… I’m Louis.”
Or Harry is pregnant with a stranger’s baby and Louis doesn’t know. It’s a minor detail that Harry’s both living with Louis and in love with him. No big deal.
note: this fic is really new, someone reblogged the fic post and when i saw it first i was like ‘huh?’ and then suddendly (in less than a minute) decided it was the next thing i’ll be reading and now i’m completely in love with it. Lou i need to say you’re the kind of guy everyone wants in their life <3 
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❀ all the love, ana. xx
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petersthree · 3 years
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Okay so I’ve seen a lot of conflicting responses to Buddie this episode, from it being clear to people that they’re getting together, to thinking the writers have unintentionally messed things up to thinking it’s purely queerbait.
And I get the different responses, I do - tbh I’m somehow in two camps, where I simultaneously believe it’s a slowburn but I also think it’s bait. And those are two very different opinions to have and it got me thinking about why we have these different responses as fans to the possibility of a queer ship (namely two men who would presumably be bi/pan) being canon. 
While people talk about how it’s just people wanting two characters to kiss or entitled fans - sure, that’s existent in every fandom, but I think there’s also a very real fear from queer fans who don’t want to get their hopes up and I d on’t love how the conversation has shifted to calling queer fans stupid for having hope, so I kind of wanted to break it down into 3 aspects that I’ve noticed: 
How writers portray bi characters and why that makes fans hesitant to have hope
What queerbait actually means as a concept
How much “slowburn” has changed in procedurals
1. How writers portray bi characters
Something I’ve thought about a lot are the bi characters I’ve seen on TV - Darryl (CEG), Sara Lance (Arrow), Lucifer (Lucifer), just to name a few. These are great characters imo and I think you’d have a fun time watching but a thing to note is that all these characters were established as bi within the first season of their respective shows and they all fairly quickly fell into a clear romantic ship as well (with the exception of Sara as she spanned multiple shows). It may have taken time for them to say the word bisexual, but it was still clear these characters were queer fairly quickly on. You could maybe argue that Lucifer was a slowburn, but then (while it does not take away from him being bi/pan so do not use this as an excuse to be shitty about him) it’s a m/f ship which is still not the point of my post, to find a m/m or f/f ship that has that same treatment.
Some writers have done it - like for Valencia in CEG, or Petra in JTV - when they saw that fans read them this way, but trying to find those characters were few and far between, and when I looked at popular queerbait ships (whether or not they actually are queerbait) it’s usually ships where the characters are largely viewed as bisexual. A lot of times this also comes with pushback from both straight and to be frank, other queer fans as well. Straight fans don’t always see the signs that queer fans do, so to them a queer character who hasn’t been explicitly clear from the start comes out of nowhere. And what I’ve seen from certain queer fans are concerns that people aren’t appreciating the canon queer characters in a show - and I think there is a conversation to be had about that, but I don’t think the response should also be about then demanding less representation for people either. 
If we go back to 911, people talk a lot about how it has canon queer characters, which it definitely does - Michael, Hen, Josh, Karen, and David are all canonically gay/lesbian and that’s awesome, and we absolutely should talk about fans (white fans in particular) ignoring these characters. It also does not change the fact that none of these characters are bisexual and that is the representation people are looking for. Both of these things are true - these characters are often under appreciated in canon AND people deserve bisexual representation. They don’t contradict each other and to act like one negates the other does a huge disservice.
And even if a character was made bisexual in the canon text we don’t get that slowburn. This may be true for things like Leverage, or LOK, but there’s also a real fact of censorship that affected these shows and the fact that general audiences may not understand the queer text tjat the writers intended. It doesn’t make the writing any less wonderful or the ships any less poignant or beautiful or important, and there’s ofc shows like She Ra that made this more obvious (or the.....mess that was Supernatural that made it. Half true?) but these are still real things that should be acknowledged on why people are so hesitant to call it slowburn - because it’s something most queer fans haven’t SEEN DONE, because m/f ships will get that care for slowburn when it’s done but it’s not done for m/m or f/f ships in that same capacity.
2. What queerbait is
This one’s fun because I don’t think many people understand what it is, but queerbait is very dependent on the intentions of the writers/creators/etc. - which tbh can be hard to gauge, because a genuine intention that ended up not happening or someone baiting fans or someone trying to support all ships and not be rude all have very different intentions but to a fan who only sees bits and pieces of this person on social media, it can be hard to gauge.
Honestly with how much the 4th wall gets broken because of social media now I’d personally say we’ve probably moved into a different definition of queerbait - unintentional vs intentional - because we’re at a point where a show knows what ships are popular and at what level of excitement fans are for it - but that being said, there’s still a clear spectrum of intent. And imo? I don’t think 911 has that intent of queerbait - whether it’s a slowburn or they have a different vision for buddie that I (probably) won’t agree with remains to be seen, but this show usually treats its storylines with care. Are they perfect at it? No, definitely not, I definitely think that they’ve dropped the ball a few times (especially with just how many characters they have lmao), but they also clearly do their storylines with earnest and with genuine care for these characters.
Is 911 getting them together? I want to say yes. I don’t think this was always the plan, just something that they decided along the way, but I also don’t think that changes anything about the ship. A lot of people point to Tim Minear being vague about the ship, or the actors and their interpretations, but 1. We have no idea what they’ve been told about Buddie moving forward and 2. No show runner is going to spoil their show that much. 911 may be keeping quiet because they have a different plan for buddie, sure, but also maybe because they’re still figuring out how exactly they want to do this and/or they want to make this slowburn and don’t want to give it away.
3. Slowburn in procedurals
I feel like this is something that procedurals have started shying away from, but slowburns used to be very common - Bones, Castle, their ships didn’t get together for literal years, but that’s just not something that many shows do nowadays, even for m/f ships. Even things like Deckerstar will have the characters get together after ~3 seasons and explore the relationship onwards, whereas a few years ago, y ou’d pr obably be watching a sh ow and it’d take them 7 seasons to get together. My assumption for this is that shows are afraid  of getting canceled, but there’s been a pretty big shift in getting a couple together after say, 6 seasons to now getting them together about halfway through the show. I don’t think either one is bad or good - in good writers’ hands, either can be amazing - but that shift has made it so that a lot of younger fans in particular, I think, don’t fully recognize slowburn when they see it.
911 as a show tends to run pretty fast - it kind of has to with its depth of characters they have - but when they do have slower running storylines they really do make use of that as well. Bobby’s addiction is something that’s always going to be present in his character, May’s suicide attempt was brought up again front and center after 3 seasons, even Chim’s dynamic with the Lees was brought up again and it was reinforced again that they’re his family. There are certain storylines that have to be continuous and aren’t a one and done type of thing, and that includes Buck and Eddie, especially if you want to establish them as queer to a general audience who doesn’t think about these things.
And honestly, despite my fears, I think they are laying groundwork there. We have Buck learning to be more confident in his relationships, we have Eddie ready to date and learning to follow his own heart, we have Buck and Eddie both establishing that Buck is family and will always be there for Christopher. These are pretty big steps to do for a ship and we’ll obviously have to see how the show goes forward but they’ve already insinuated Eddie and Ana are breaking up, I’m sure Taylor and Buck may last a season and be over, but we do have to see what this next season brings. Do I think they’d say this? No, definitely not.
tl;dr: 
911 is a show with good viewership, but there’s always a possibility they can’t continue with their season and then their promises would feel like a lie. Or they may still be hammering out the details as this season hasn’t been written. Or they may just simply not want to spoil their show,  or they don’t want people criticizing a story before it’s finished, all of these could be reasons. The showrunners, writers, actors, ultimately they owe nothing to us as a fandom to potentially spoil their series, or do something, change it or their schedule for it, and get accused of bait. 
But it also doesn’t change why fans are wary of this storyline either, and I wish people would have more nuance and compassion for fans who are worried about queerbait (whether they think it’s not queerbait and dislike people worrying about it or if they do and are calling people idiots for believing it). There’s a lot of reasons why fans are wary and don’t want to have hope, and it’s not necessarily about 911 specifically as it is a pattern of writing seen in other pieces that have fans worried. These things can all coexist and I wish we as fandom in general could acknowledge that, because pretending that they don’t and criticizing each other/people’s intentions or knowledge when they have certain expectations also doesn’t do much to help.
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protectchara201x · 3 years
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(ignoring all the other juicy Deltarune 2 stuff to shove Chara Talks into it lololol)
I haven’t been super active on this blog because frankly I have like, three? looong analysis/theorycrafting posts I’ve been putting off working on and it fills me with shame to log in and see them waiting in my drafts.
But.
With the release of Deltarune Chapter 2, I wanted to talk kinda in general about how I thought it could impact the fandom’s perception of Everybody’s Favorite Demon Baby, and also point out something in specific about the Weird Route that might connect back to Undertale.
Putting it under the cut to avoid spoilers and long-winded ramblings for the unwilling. Includes spoilers for the Weird Route.
(NOTE: may update later if I notice more things for to put in section II. I’d like to make a full list of parallels if I can tidy them up.)
I. Pre- vs Post-Release Thoughts (you can skip down to II if you don’t care, it is genuinely Long and Pointless)
Okay, so first off. I got SO worried like, the day before the new chapter dropped? It hit me that whatever new stuff we got out of this, people would connect back to Undertale, and. Honestly, I really do hate connecting everything back to Chara, because I do think of Kris as their own character and I really like them and don’t want to ignore everything they got going on. But, I am first and foremost a shameless Chara stan and they’re very important to me, so I kinda... did spend a few minutes reeling from all the new DR stuff as its own stuff, and then immediately started thinking about how this would reflect back on Chara in Undertale lol.
But that’s ok for me to do here because this is my All Chara, Only Chara, All The Time blog, so I am gonna only really talk about Deltarune here to talk about them lol.
So yeah, I started getting anxious beforehand worrying about how everyone would take any and all implications and apply it to mean “aha, Chara IS evil!” The fakeout with the pie reveal in the anniversary stream was a big relief, but I still got worried leading up to the release about what could be in it.
Because part of why I’ve always thought that “Chara was genuinely evil from the start” and even “ok maybe not TOTALLY evil, but Chara was still a kinda bad person” were unlikely was, even if you throw out all the other popular Chara-sympathetic theories. To me, both these takes just seemed too below TF’s talent and the way he wrote all his other characters with depth and love; a Chara like the one these theories propose just doesn’t belong in a world created by TF, and the way the Dreemurrs talk about them overall, the way TF made a point of having Chara say they were guided and repeatedly, correctly blame you the player for the destruction in Kill-All, I was sure that he never intended them to ever be as bad as the fandom sometimes tried to make them out to be.
... Like, mostly sure. Like, 80% sure? Because he never ever talks about them, so it’s impossible say for sure, and it is still theoretically possible that “Chara was and is bad” was the cold-ass take he’d intended all along. So yeah, leading up to the release, I started getting antsy that whatever new lore came out of it, either he’d directly confirm “Chara was a villain?” “*cocks gun* Always has been” or there’d be something that’d at least heavily implicate them, or could be twisted to implicate them, as a negative force. More ammo to be used against them in the Chara Debate Circles would be a drag, and outright confirmation of them as a villain would honestly break my heart and I’d be forced to disown Toby Fox, My Beloved Cool Dad.
And, right now? Tell the truth, I’m SO relieved and I am SO happy. And not just because of how much depth and characterization it seems Kris is getting! (imo, because rn I just headcanon them as an unhappy teen desperately trying to keep their new friends going on adventures with them and trying to fight back against the player’s control)
I love how this chapter seems to be TF doing course-correcting based on fandom interpretations. Because Kris just isn’t evil, even if they are a knife teen, even if they are the Knight, they’re just NOT evil and that’s canon, baybeeee; it’s made clear in this chapter and the previous one that they love their family even outside of the player’s control, they care about their new friends even outside of the player’s control, they’re established as a weird creepy kid but no one sees them as scary or evil, they’re just Kris, and even in the Weird Route, TF made a point of hammering in the differences between Kris and the player in the Weird Route: Susie and Ralsei notice how distressed Kris seemed after you have Noelle ice Berdly, Noelle heard a voice that she said wasn’t Kris telling her to kill, and the FUCKING Spamton fight: “Kris called for help... but nobody came” again and again, and then “You whispered Noelle’s name”... you, not Kris.
I know TF has never commented much on fans’ perceptions of Frisk and Chara, or who exactly is pulling strings in different routes. But after all this, and especially after seeing all the little winks and nods to fandom jokes in this chapter (what comes to mind: pulling everyone’s leg by seeming to have Kris attack Toriel with a knife only to reveal that pie theory was right, Susie not liking Ralsei’s real face as much as his shadowed one, Ralsei with a gun getting referenced with the ad, Kris getting a joke fixation with knives after the fans made Chara and Kris have knife obsessions as a joke), and seeing what looks like him try to correct some things (what stuck out to me was doubling down on showing that Kris is loved and valued in their family: lots of fans came away from Chapter 1 thinking that Kris was not valued as much as Asriel, but here we see that Toriel is supportive of Kris’ friendship with Susie, and it’s stated that Asriel is the one who used the crappy controller, not Kris) -
I think while he hasn’t commented directly, while he admitted to being overwhelmed by Undertale’s success, while he tends to be pretty tight-lipped about the lore (whether that’s because it’ll be addressed by future chapters or because he prefers to let fans sleuth it out), this chapter convinced me that Toby does keep tabs on fan reactions in Deltarune, so he probably does with Undertale too and would know about all The Discourse surrounding Little Mx Pink Cheeks (and in turn, popular theories like Narrator Chara... Toby if you integrate Narrator Chara into Deltarune being a borderline creepypasta and have the narrator start talking directly to the characters or to the player or the characters start talking to the narrator I will lose my damn B E A N S).
(Kris and Chara not being demonized and the narrator interacting directly with the characters were the only two things on my wishlist going in, I was fine with literally anything else happening lmao)
I even kinda think he’s going out of his way to separate Kris and the player because we didn’t get it before with Undertale, we still insisted that Frisk or Chara was the one doing it, and he’s even using Kris to show that even if this kid can be scary, maybe even mean, and maybe they’re even the Knight (with their reasons unknown), they’re still not a bad kid, they’re still funny and likable, and they still genuinely love their family and friends - which falls in line with Undertale’s cast of complex but likable people who can be antagonists and make mistakes but still aren’t truly bad people, and imo is a direct response to some people fixating on the idea that Chara was always evil because they seem scary/complicated.
... Which is a long way to say that I came out of Deltarune with my confidence fully restored about TF’s intentions with Chara and Kris. Even if he never comments on Chara directly, now I really don’t think TF thinks they’re evil or ever intended for them to be. Deltarune convinced me more than ever that Chara is meant to be complex, yes, and able to be influenced to do horrible things, but they were never intended to be as malicious or shallow as some fans insist.
TLDR:
Toby Fox read your mean fanfiction where Chara is a bad abusive serial killer no one likes, and he made Deltarune in revenge.
... Hm? Ah, you’d like me to get to the point! Right this way!
II. Undertale, Deltarune, and The Point
While no doubt some will still take the voice Noelle hears to be Chara influencing her to turn her into a murderer (I haven’t gone looking for it yet, but I’m sure it’s already a thing because I know this fandom), since it’s made too clear by the game that they can’t blame Kris for this one, I think at this point that’s just being too stubborn to consider other ideas.
If you believe in the totally made up idea used in so many fanfics that Chara is an evil spirit trying to whisper in Frisk’s ear to kill everyone, literally (for some reason) the embodiment of raising stats, and gets more control over people who have increased LV to take over their body... sure. Could be them, they did talk about moving on to the next world and all. I mean, that wouldn’t really make sense because it’s literally never implied in the actual game that Chara encourages you to kill outside of the Kill-All Run or even wants you to, certainly not as the narrator and we get no hint of them doing this as an unseen, unheard third-party either.
Not to mention they’re NOT literally possessing you because of increased LV; they don’t control you even with high LV in any Undertale route other than arguably the Kill-All, and if you fail the Kill-All and it turns into a high-body count Neutral, Chara suddenly stops using first-person narration and showing up in mirrors entirely even though they were showing themself before, the LV remains the same or even can get raised as high as LV 19, nor do they suddenly take over in any other Neutral runs. We can speculate on why (personally, I’d place this either on Chara’s mindset, such as them sinking into shock from the trauma or becoming more assertive as the player feeds their megalomania, or as a sign of Frisk’s withdrawal, leaving Chara alone in the body to take the reins and act out the player’s orders), but canonically, no, Chara does not take over due to high stats.
In fact, there’s even more evidence against this. First-person narration also exists for fleeing your battles in Undertale, even on Pacifist runs with base stats, 0 EXP, and an LV of 1. Since Chara is established to use first-person narration to refer to themself, is the only one who canonically does so, and is confirmed to be present even in all runs through their name and memories always showing up, it seems pretty likely that Chara can take control to flee battle. That means an increase in stats is not a sign of their presence or control, in Undertale or Deltarune.
The most damning blow to the idea that Chara is the voice corrupting Noelle are the lines in the fight with Spamton I mentioned. Kris called for help, but nobody came. You whispered Noelle’s name. Well hold on. If that’s Chara, shouldn’t it be “I whispered Noelle’s name”? As soon as you’ve officially started the Kill-All in Undertale, Chara starts up their “It’s me, Chara” schtick right away, right there in Toriel’s home in the first area, and if they weren’t the narrator before, they’re beginning to speak through the narration now. If the voice was Chara, surely Toby Fox knows it’d be a way bigger “oh shit” moment if the creepy scary hidden route once again switched into first-person, scaring us the same way he did before when we first saw “It’s me, Chara” and knew something was wrong; unfairly or not, their reputation as a villain is still well established and hinting to Chara’s presence with a simple “I” would drive the menace even further, if he intended for them to simply be a demon that possesses player characters when you grind enough. But it’s still just you. The player.
The Weird Route does even more to help Chara’s case than that. Not only is it made pretty clear that Kris and the player are separate, and the player is the one responsible for corrupting Noelle and making her kill... consider how similar Noelle and Chara are, in the Weird Route and the Kill-All Route.
This “voice” that “guides” them in growing strong, compelling them to kill everyone in order to fight for them, eventually driving them to murder people they know. Chara calls themself “the demon that comes when people call its name”, and you whisper Noelle’s name to have her appear to kill Spamton. Noelle’s conflicting emotions towards Kris and the voice as she is manipulated, as she becomes more violent and sadistic, as she goes into shock; does that not sound like Chara, who flipflops between holding you dear as their partner and wanting to move on to the next world together, to be together forever, and them being disgusted by your refusal to accept consequences and the perverse enjoyment you get in killing everyone again and again? Chara, who clings to their quirky narration for much of the Kill-All, but keeps slipping up, who becomes terrifyingly cold, aggressive, power-hungry, and even sadistic, yet still calls Undyne “the heroine”, still seems to still care about their locket, still has moments where they seem to falter?
Noelle does put up significantly more resistance to the voice’s commands than Chara does, and at least much more visibly shows distress and trauma. I don’t think this is a black mark on Chara’s chara-cter either, or an indication of them being more violent or cruel.
For one, while Noelle is still herself with her own soul, it is heavily implied by Chara, Flowey, and Undertale’s lore that Chara was reincarnated without their own soul, at best perhaps attached to Frisk’s (or yours): as I speculate in one of my currently unfinished theories, while monster souls are made up of love, compassion, and hope and thus Asriel was reincarnated without these qualities, it could well be that human souls are correspondingly made up of their own multiple traits, namely determination, patience, bravery, integrity, perseverance, kindness, and justice; if true, a soulless Chara would be lacking these qualities, which would make them less equipped to resist the player’s commands or to feel as torn up about it.
Also, the player has a hold on them both as “party members” to the player’s vessels, but it is also possible that the player naming Chara and having them directly attached to Frisk also gives them a stronger connection to Chara they can abuse, similar to how Kris and Frisk (as the player’s direct vessels) have much less autonomy than Kris’ party members.
(Fun observation: We know that when the thing controlling Kris forced Noelle into becoming a killer and using her to kill Berdly, Kris was horrified and shaken-up according to Susie and Ralsei. How do you think Frisk felt watching Chara be used to slaughter the Underground and then erasing the world when they’re totally corrupted?)
And lastly... look, Noelle and Chara are both minors, but Chara is significantly younger - a small child compared to Noelle’s teen. I know it’s fiction and strong wills and determination and anime is real and all, but a traumatized young child who died two violent and awful deaths back-to-back, may have literally experienced being a corpse in their own coffin/grave for who knows how long, and then came back ”confused” only to immediately start hearing a voice relentlessly commanding them to kill everyone?? I can absolutely see a traumatized kid shutting down and just going with it out of fear at first, before the LV sets in.
TLDR:
What you do to Noelle in the Weird Route is the same fucking thing you do to Chara in the Kill-All Route.
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catfishimages · 2 years
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hello danny god of the doom mettle realm, 2 5 8 for those dm asks?
2 - what was your first time running a game like?
sort of depends? i've been running informal, non-system games since like, elementary school, no dice or anything. the first proper ttrpg, system-run game? that was kind of a mess. i ran a game of pathfinder for a bunch of my friends in grade 9, and they hadn't played any ttrpgs before so they didn't quite, like, get it? and admittedly i was having a hard time teaching them what these games are all about too. but we had fun at least, even if we only got through the first 2~ rooms of a dungeon before one of them cast speak with animals on a giant frog and at that point it was all over. it actually took me a few years of playing/dming on and off, and a dedicated group of regular players for me to really hit my stride
5 - what is your favourite part about running a game?
there's this thing that happens when you're in the heat of it all, the blood's hot, you have to react immediately to your players' decisions, where you kinda have to split your brain into one part thinking about the current action (and i don't necessarily mean like combat action) one part always keeping in mind the larger story, and then another part always keeping in mind the larger-larger story. and something happens in that moment of like, flow-state, where you become so caught up in facilitating the game that it's almost ego-deathy where your brain's moving a thousand miles a second and the table becomes this bubbling caldera of new insane shit cause you're reacting in entirely new ways to things your players do that you could never possibly imagine. it's like i'm on fucking ecstasy.
8 - what type of stories do you like to tell? what is a story of yours incomplete without?
woof i mean, it's sort of hard for me to break down my own storytelling like this cause i don't have an outsider's perspective, but i can give it a shot.
fundamentally, i like stories about people who get beat up a lot. literally and figuratively. Thank You Spider-Man. like, i beat up on my pcs because like, it’s fuckin all about success through struggle man, otherwise, what’s the fucking point? i like to tell stories about deeply dedicated people choosing to continue, to keep fighting, despite how stacked the odds area against them, or how much they get hit. we as spectators to these stories feel on an intimate level how important the characters goals are to them, cause why else would they try so hard and face such hardship? i think a story of mine would be incomplete, it would feel empty, if the characters didn’t lose pretty hard on their way to winning.
on a less narrative level, i think one of my strengths as a dm is visceral, sensory descriptions of things. so i end up adding in nasty gore/body horror stuff, whether i go in intending to or not lmao. it just sort of happens. so i guess it wouldn’t really be a Me(tm) story if there wasn’t at least one nasty freak.
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thevoilinauttheory · 3 years
Text
First Day of My Life
[ FFxivWrite2021 Prompt 1: Foster ]
[ Content Warnings: Cheesy Romantic Shit lmao || Characters: Maximiloix Voilinaut, Caromont Allard ]
[ with musical accompaniment! it’s what drove this prompt, to be honest ]
[ its fuckin long, i’m not sorry lol ]
youtube
Caromont flipped through cards, time and time again. No matter how hard he tried, he could never perform a reading for himself. He tried - he truly did. Where was his future going to go, once he made it to Dravania? What shoes was he destined to fill? Perhaps greatness wasn’t meant for him - and instead, he would teach another greatness. He wanted more than the monotony he was given, something that could strike a match in his eyes. As he drew nearer to the Colonies, he flipped another card - not expecting it to do much at all, he wasn’t prepared for his head to fall forward and slam into the table in front of him.
“Master Allard!” Some stray students happened to be in the room with him, running over to check on the man. Perfectly fine, he was, they found him dead asleep against the table… but only for a solid five minutes before his head flung back up, an exaggerated gasp to follow. They startled at his sudden awakening, taking steps back away from him. He rubbed his forehead. “Ughh… ow.” There was something different about him, after that, the students noticed. There were still heavy bags under his eyes… and yet, they had never looked brighter. He had always been tired, weary, worn out from his responsibilities; and now he looked like he could crack an honest smile for once. “Master Allard? Are you alright?” “Hm?” He addressed the students in some sort of delirium, tilting his head in thought. “Oh! Yes, I am. I appreciate the concern - simply an unprepared reading. Nothing to worry about.” They left him to that.
What he saw was nothing short of a miracle - to him, of course. A reading of his own! Finally! Even better - while he was destined for no greatness, he was given a taste of what freedom felt like. The first adventurer to make their way in, that’s where it lied. What it was, he knew not. All he knew was that he wanted it. He wanted whatever this adventurer would grant him, wanted something *new*, and *different*.
--
Caromont sat with his head against the library window, far up so that the colony of Sharlayan was visible to his eyes… yet he stared at the sky, watching the clouds as he flipped idly through more cards. Bored, as if he’d get a new result the more he did so. He let out a heavy sigh, lids closing just for the briefest of moments - maybe he could pretend he was having a vision, maybe people would leave him alone for his inattentiveness. It wasn’t like he wanted any of this responsibility to begin with. When his shoulder was pat on to remind him to pay attention again, he opened his eyes and looked down at the ants of his kin. His eyes skimmed to the side, where several students seemed to be dragging along a worn down man. His eyes narrowed, trying to see better what was going on. No. That was not just any man - that was the first adventurer, since he arrived here; not a student, not a fellow academic; an honest-to-gods *adventurer*. He jumped from his seat, eyes lit up like Starlight; he scooped up his cards, snatched up his bag and *sprinted*. He skipped down stairs two at a time, perhaps even falling down a few. He skid around the corner of the entrance of the library, waving down the students that were about to carry the man away.
“Master Allard! Oh, thank heavens! This man needs healing before he’s sent on his way--” “Do not worry! I will take good care of him, do not fear. Be on your way, it will not do to be late for your classes.” “Of course. Thank you.” Then he was left alone with this almost near dying man against his shoulder. By their tone, one would have expected said man to be unconscious; no, he seemed only confused. “If you are okay to move more, I would like to go elsewhere for your healing.” “Yeah… ‘course. Thank ya’, friend.” His voice was soft, it commanded no respect… though it seemed to give none, as well.
As he had brought him to his own home, the adventurer only laughed. “Shouldn’t y’buy me dinner, first?” Still, he was thankful for a place to lay down… even if it *was* the floor. Caromont let out a loud snort, kneeling beside him with another laugh as he thought more on the words. “Mm - perhaps I could *make* you dinner, instead.” The adventurer blinked at the response, stunned for a moment - mostly from the stitching he could feel as his wounds were healed. Then, he laughed. He laughed so hard he had to place a hand over his stomach. “Ooch, gods, that hurts.” Caromont smiled. “It will be sore for a bit, so please, make yourself at home. I am not here often, to be honest. Ah- your name. I do not believe I got it.” “Maximiloix - you?” “Caromont.” He had to mouth the man’s name several times to get the pronunciation correct. “My, that is a mouthful.” “Ain’t it?” He laughed again.
--
Maximiloix had been here a week now - doing nothing more than waiting for Caromont to get done with work. He always sat patiently by the entrance of the library, offering stories to the students interested in hearing them. The bell struck twice - and it was just a matter of time for the usually composed scholar to come sliding around the corner. He always seemed a little too excited to leave… at the same time, it’s not like he could blame him. He, himself, would sit in the same spot for hours waiting for him without a care to the time that crawled by slowly. Caromont offered him books to pass the time, but he only laughed in response. Still, he took them, tried to make heads or tails of what he was reading - as it was from Caromont’s private collection, meaning it was nothing but technical jargon regarding magic… something he wasn’t all that good at to begin with. Unfortunately for him, Caromont’s eye for detail always caught him - or was it that knack for knowing the future? He could never say - never tell, either; nor did he feel a need to ask. Every man had their secrets and he wasn’t without his own. “Take it the books are a little much?” “Ah… that easy to tell, huh? I’m not mucha magic person, t’be honest. History, though.” “Is that right?” He could see those violet eyes light up, every word that was spoken to him was held onto as if his life depended on it. “I could have sworn…” His eyes turned to the ground, lifting a hand to his chin as he tried to sort out his thoughts. “Ah - I see. Not yet.” “Not yet?” “No, no! Do not mind me! I will see if I can find any books to your liking, and you must regale me of what you have learned! My time is spent too much on my readings, and not enough in other skills.” “Ever thought o’ takin’ a break?” “A… break?” “...Y’know. Relax? Not work? Do other things?” Caromont stared at him for an uncomfortably long amount of time - even more so, since they were walking. When no one around him was expecting it, he laughed. It was the best joke of his lifetime, even if it was meant to be serious. He scared some other passerbys, unfortunately. Caromont wasn’t known to laugh - let alone *that* loud.
“Oh, Maxie, I thought you were serious for a moment.” That earned him a raised eyebrow. He sighed. “Unfortunately, taking breaks is not as easy as it is said. My work is incredibly important to the Colonies--” “Let someone else do it.” “Huh?” “Yer not a god. No one’s meant t’work fer so long an’ *not* get tired. Yer exhausted. If no one else can see it, I sure as hells can.” The corner of Maximiloix’s mouth curled into a sly smile, followed by poking under Caromont’s eye. “Yer gettin’ wrinkles here.” “Maxie, I am sixty-seven… of course I have wrinkles!” “I dunno if y’ve seen me, but I’ve got picture perfect skin--” “Like hells! You have more wrinkles than I do and you are younger than me!” He laughed.
--
“Mm. What’cha makin’? Smells good.” “Does it?” Maximiloix wandered into the kitchen, staring over Caromont’s shoulder like a curious child. He had just pulled a loaf of bread out of the oven, letting it sit to cool; smacking his roommate’s hand away from it. “Ah-ah! Not yet! You are going to burn yourself like that. This is a snack until dinner, which you have to tell me what you want.” “I ain’t picky.” “You say that! I need to know what to grab from the markets.” “Hm… how ‘bout I gather ingredients? Shouldn’t take too long.” “Are you… sure?”
Maximiloix offered a mock salute. “It’ll be no skin off m’back. Then you can make whatever y’want from ‘em.” “If that is the case… well, you get yourself ready and I will have some bread ready for you.” That would have been a casual statement… if it didn’t look like Caromont was plotting something. There was a shine in them, like someone waiting for a prank to follow through. Maximiloix slowly backed away, watching him. He was all too familiar with that look, and he wasn’t liking it. Still, he left to pack and empty a few bags. When he returned, Caromont held a plate out to him… with no plate of his own. “Plannin’ on poisonin’ me?” “Oh, no, not at all. This is for me to take to work with me this week - but I had a feeling you might enjoy this one.” “...Okay, I don’t like that look yer given’ me. What’s up with it.” “Nothing! Nothing! I swear to you, nothing it *wrong* with it. It is made as intended.” Maximiloix twisted up his mouth and nose, but relented. Caromont likely wouldn’t have let him leave if he denied to eat it.
He took a bite of it - those bright lights in Caromont’s eyes shining. “Hm. Yer right. Not bad.” “...What.” “I mean. It ain’t the *best* tastin’ thing in the world, but I’m pretty sure I could live off this.” Caromont looked at him. Stunned. Absolutely, positively, *astounded*. “Do you even *have* taste buds? Thaliak, you must have an iron gut!” Maximiloix laughed. “I take it it was s’posed to be worse? Can’t really have *taste* livin’ in th’Brumes. Just gotta get what y’can get.” “I have *literally* tasted nothing worse than this recipe - and yet it is a staple here.” “Yeah? Might have t’get that from ya’. Could make it a staple while travelin’.”
--
They both read on the couch - comfortable silence between them as Caromont laid across Maximiloix’s lap. This was nice. The thought of this lasting forever made Caromont’s heart ache for it. He would do anything for it to. “Are you getting hungry?” Caromont spoke softly, afraid to ruin the silence. “Yeah, I could eat.” Maximiloix smiled down at him, watching as he stood up to stretch. “Mm. I have to go to the markets, it should be quick - so do not let me interrupt you.” Before he left, he leaned over to kiss his cheek - thinking nothing of the action. Not until he stood back up. He covered his mouth and nose, eyes widened in shock and embarrassment - so much so, that he could do nothing but turn on his heel and leave Maximiloix touching the cheek he was kissed on with a dumb smile on his face.
He thought that he would calm down by the time he returned, but those thoughts were thrown out the window when he stood in front of his door… hesitating on even going home. Deep breath in… deep breath out. He stepped in… nothing. Maximiloix must’ve been in the bedroom, passed out or something. He let out a sigh of relief, then turned to his kitchen to place everything on the counters. When he turned back around - what to find but the man he had been crushing on for moons now. What to find but that man rushing for him, grabbing onto his shoulders to return that chaste kiss a hundred fold; hands moving up to hold the sides of his head. Caromont could only stand startled, a deer in headlights, even when Maximiloix pulled away - another bright smile on his face. Though that expression turned to embarrassment when Caromont seemingly broke on the spot. “Ah.. too mu--” All he could think to do in response was to return the treatment, near tackling the poor man to the ground, laughing against his lips. So far, this was the best day of his life. “Gods, Caro, I love ya’.” Those words had him pressed tears against his neck, he had waited so long for someone to *mean it*. “I love you too, gods, do I.”
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shoezuki · 3 years
Text
This is a post on the cheating accusations around dream mostly surrounding his response video.
If you don’t want to see this or any of these posts then blacklist the tag #discourse
SO I’ve been doing a lot of digging into what dream has said in his response to Geosquare’s original video and report, which was compiled and conducted by the Minecraft Java mods on speedrun.com. 
I won’t talk about that original report in detail, but basically: the mods came to the conclusion that Dream had a 1 in 7.5 trillion chance of getting the pearl bartering rates and the blaze drop odds that he did within the 6 streams he did. As in, someone would need that luck to replicate what dream got. Therefore, he cheated. 
I’m going to put this into a sort of ‘point form’ in according to topic, attempting to put it in chronological order.
Dream’s Initial Tweets
Ok so first like. these are bad. these tweets are what he said (on twitter, excluding in the speedrunning discord) directly after the video was Uploaded to Geo’s channel. 
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worth noting he did apologize later, although i wanted to talk about these two instances so i felt the need to include it. 
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there’s a lot of interesting wording in the apology tweet itself too. I personally find that when he apologizes he tends to still be very subtextually angry in them with the tone, but more specifically. where he says ‘although i have reason to be upset’, that’s kinda weak and really unneeded. Alongside the ‘intense criticism’, it reads as him trying to say he’s still in the right. kind of like “im sorry i was rude even though I had reason to be rude’. Its an apology sure but he’s not saying sorry for how he really reacted; its justified to him.
Dream’s Response Video
Dream posted a response on his side channel DreamXD on the 22nd, along with the report he had a supposed astrophysicist conduct. I’m going to talk about the report separately from the video for reasons I’ll explain. 
Frankly, the video doesn’t really summarize or explain the report in a meaningful way. At most, it takes some points from it but tends to twist the numbers around, misunderstand the probability and math, and also what the report itself concludes. 
Essentially, dream’s video insists that the numbers found by the mods are wrong and therefore he didn’t cheat at all, yet the report concludes that the numbers found by the mods weren’t entirely accurate, however they’re still extremely unlikely. This is also all under the assumption that the report is entirely correct (ill say how its not next)
His first point is that only his 1.16 run (that was at 5th place two months ago, would have now been 16th) was deemed cheated. This is true; the mods have said that he isnt banned outright and theres no reason to question the legitimacy of his 1.15 runs. 
He also concludes that Geo’s statement that Dream didn’t cooperate with them, and that he deleted 1.16 mod folders, was false. This one is a little more complicated. It could more be chalked up to a miscommunication, although it’s relevant. Geosquare posted screenshots of the specific conversation they had:
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Essentially it wasn’t entirely clear, i can understand how geo and the mods interpreted it in such a way. Altho April added in a quote retweet thread that dream didn’t supply the folder she asked for, so he didn’t supply everything they asked for like he states in the video
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Essentially: yeah, misleading and weird on both ends. I dont think this is really anything quantifiable, although dream talked about this in the video heavily. 
Out of this though, Geo DID correct himself in the description of the mods’ video. Dream shows this in his own response, but it crops out some of what geo says. here’s from dream’s video
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that Update 2 is where he corrects himself. literally why the fuck would you crop it like this and put it in the video i mean this looks so weird and genuinely doesnt provide anything. Here’s what geo actually said
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Dream specifically cut it before the line where geo mentions how he said he deleted his specific 1.16 speedrun profile. This one is just so dumb to me. I’d say ‘why not include that’ but either i feel its a) so there’s no potential for people to say what he had actually said could be interpreted otherwise easily or b) doesnt want people to know he got so upset he deleted files (ego wise yknow). Again, I dont think this is definitive of anything but god. it feels scummy lmao
The Video: Incorrect Representation of His Own Report
Dream straight up doesnt present the report’s numbers properly. In fact it makes the entirety of his visuals forfeit, i.e. the gold block analogy that goes on for like 20 minutes. 
The mods said his luck was 1/7.5 trillion. Dream’s report says its 1/10 million (with the addition of 5 other streams) or 1/100 million (only the 6 streams).
I’ll only consider the 1/10 mil odds, since its all dream really brings up. but Basically; there’s not much difference between 1/10 million and 1/7.5 trillion. 
Dream says that the difference is 7.5 trillion minus 10 million, aka 7.4999 trillion. This is what his entire visual with the gold blocks is based on. This is absolutely incorrect, i cant stress that enough. 
You can’t find the difference of fractions by subtracting only the denominators. Like. this is elementary school math. it just doesnt work. 
It’d actually be calculated as: (1/10 000 000) - (1/7 500 000 000 000) = (74999/7 500 000 000 000)
If the mods are wrong, they’re only wrong by 749999/7.5 trillion. that’s literally only  0.000000099999866666667. 
Dream no doubt saw the numbers, considered 10 million vs. 7.5 trillion, and used these big numbers to hold his own point. PROBABILITY DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT. I really think he was just taking advantage of the seemingly big numbers here and wrote it out in a way that favoured him. The gold block analogy in the video played throughout the entire video practically, jokes were made on it, and he made a point of it being ‘so big the game crashed’. 
It’s just plain wrong. even so a difference in the odds doesnt prove shit. He’s downplaying his own odds that he found too. 1/10 million isnt a small number. Even though the legitimacy of that calculation is in question, it is still significant enough to proclaim he cheated. 
Some quick points before I move onto the report; these aren’t as significant in my eyes but it adds to the picture
there’s been criticism of his joking manor throughout the entire video, very specifically the Bill Nye joke. Considering he doesnt actually have a name to provide for his astrophysicist, this joke doesnt feel right
the mod he had a voice clip from (willz) even believes that he cheated and has agreed with the mod team the whole time. 
Dream never has a name for the mod who is apparently on his side (more understandable), the minecraft developer he quoted, or the astrophysicist (most damning)
Dream states that fabric is used by most speedrunners which is true, but fabric and fabric API are different; dream also had the latter installed. my knowledge of how theyre different is limited, all i really know is the API is what can enable editing of the code while fabric is more a modloader. im not entirely sure on this
Dream has said at the end of the video that all funds will go to the mod team so they can make a client that will regulate cheaters. this has been noted as feeling manipulative or like a ‘bribe’, but it definitely puts the mods in a bad position. 
either they accept it and look like they ‘gave in’ to dream and therefore acknowledge him in the right
they deny it and look selfish/taking dream’s kindness for granted
geo said they would insist it goes to a charity instead
Dream constantly disregards the mods as young, inexperienced, ‘just volunteers’ etcetcetc, despite the fact that theyre analysis has been discussed by people with confirmed PhDs without much criticism
Dream’s Report
The report itself is extremely interesting, in that it’s very questionable, but even so it doesn’t come to the conclusion that dream didn’t cheat. The tone between the video and the report is drastically different. 
This is from the “3. What are the goals of this document?” section:
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It essentially says this isnt intended, from the very beginning, to completely exonerate dream of cheating. Also note that the author says the mods’ report was mostly correct. 
This is at the end of “9 Conclussions”:
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It does notably say cheating isnt the only explanation, but it doesnt actually go as far to say that it’s not possible that he cheated. 
But this can be argued to not matter if we consider the validity of the report as a whole
Dream’s Report: Criticisms
Possibly the first and most known debunking of the report is by u/mfb on reddit, although there’s been much more such as this programmer criticizing the code provided at the end of the report (partially due to how the author of it stated that piglins barter 4-7 pearls, which is incorrect: it’s 4-8), Andrew Gelman, an actual statistician professor from harvard, commented on the original mods’ report as ‘impressive’ while Dream’s report is being regarded as something funny in the comments, and even analysis of dream’s behaviours and his argument by a law student
But what u/mfb posted is what i’ll focus on. Some background into the user; he’s a particle physicist, is moderator in subreddits like r/cosmology and r/astrophysics, he’s regarded as a reliable source on r/askscience and r/askreddit. Basically, multiple other people have vouched for him and before all this he had many posts in these fields. 
that’s already better than the unnamed astrophysicist. 
The post is better speaking for itself but here is a few exerpts from it;
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Essentially, the report’s methods are debunked by u/mfb-, alongside that a moderator of r/statistics regarded the report as ‘nonsensical in its application of statistics’ and linked to u/mfb-’s comment. 
i’m going to end this here. Partially because severe backpain or whatever,.
but I want to say at this point its practically definitive that dream cheated, that he lied to us, and that he continues to do so. Much more could be said on his video such as his tone, intentions, the overt emphasis on the ‘biases’ of the mods. 
I havent even mentioned that the ‘astrophysicist’ themself may be a scam; they are sourced from a website that is extremely sketchy, has no names attached to it, and was created less than a year ago (with practically no traffic on it until maybe a month ago). 
But i hope this is coherent. I have interest in this so if theres questions im always open. 
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angelicmichael · 3 years
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Hoax - Prologue
Michael Langdon x Mallory
Summary: After failing to kill murder house Michael; Mallory must travel back in time to Sojourn era to try again. However; she finds to her horrific discovery that jumping through time repeatedly does not come without its consequences.
Words: 3.0k+
Warnings: Death, They both almost die (or do die) so.. a lot of describing wounds and nearly dying and that jazz ✌🏻, major wounds, lowkey a dark fic, Mallory discusses wanting to kill Michael and finds celebrates it??, angst, Mallory goes and sees his dead body, blood
A/N: this takes place right after Mallory drives away from Michael in the finale btw!! I literally didnt intend on making it this dark but it just happened LOL. I feel like most of the dark stuff is vague so.. it should still be chill. This is the first time ive written millory/character x character so please go easy on me!! I also tried to follow canon and stay accurate to details the best I could but knowing me I probably fucked up somehow LMAO but enjoy 💖💖 major plot twist is coming in the next chapter btw! Also Mallorys thots are italicized.
As soon as Mallory drove away; she knew nearly immeadietly that it was too good to be true. Things could never be this fucking easy.
She felt a pit in her stomach almost instantaneously once she was in the year 2015; Even though she couldnt decipher if the anxiety was a warning or something else.. She continued on with the dark destiny she was put on this earth to fulfull.. to kill the antichrist.
Even though she was fully aware of this; and had come to terms with what she had to do - she learned the hard way that it didnt seem to make things easier at all; like how she dreamed it would. Although, even now as she continued to speed away from the infamous 'murder house', the drop in her stomach seemed to only grow; along with her self doubt.
Was he really dead??
Did I really do it??
She knew that the answer to both of those questions should be yes; but the longer she remained driving in her car, getting farther and farther away from where the incident had occured.. she knew something was wrong.
Mallory suddenly jolted the steering wheel into a sharp left; continuing to turn it until she was doing U-Turn.. She couldnt help but to feel completly bewildered at her own actions - never doing something so impulsive, like going back to a crime scene let alone commit murder, in her life.
Although Mallory felt a bit disgusted with her recent previous actions; she couldnt help but imagine how disgusted she would feel with herself if she didnt pull this off. She mulled over the previous thoughts she had had about this moment and how dreamed it would feel; she thought she would feel joy, elated, and at peace but.. instead she still felt as if she was being suffocated by his presence.
He wasnt gone. Not yet.
She pressed her foot down on the gas, she knew she hadn't gone too far away from Michael's residence yet it seemed as if it was a millenia away. The task she was supposed to complete was starting to seem more and more increasingly impossible the less distance was put between them.
If running him over with a car three times wasnt enough to kill him, whose to say anything else would? What if Constance had brought him inside?? What if she was still out there with him?? Mourning?
Mallory wasnt a monster; she wasnt going to tear away a dying boy from his grandmother in his (hopefully) final moments, even if he was the antichrist.
She felt as if she was a total loss for what to do; which made her grow sick to her stomach because she knew that was a cruel form of denial. She was destined for this moment; every moment thus far had led up to this.. so why did she feel like such a failure? Her thoughts grew more foggy and distant with panic; her throat became entirely dry as she slowed the car down. The murder house now in view; the first thing she noticed.
The red bricks and stained glass windows shined brightly in the sun. The house, which Mallory was sure typically looked beautiful, radiated a terrifying aura.. even more so this time versus when she was here only a mere minutes ago. The expanse and exterior of the house was intimidating; it held a certain danger to it that she couldnt pinpoint her finger on where the source came from.. it certainly was not Michael. Mallory knew that even if he wasnt dead; his powers would fade out for atleast a few minutes from being so wounded.
Mallory stopped the car once she saw Michael's dead body; which still resided in the middle of the road. Her feelings of panic and nausea only amplified once she saw his body -  her gaze lingering upon it. She approached him with no hesitation; she could nearly feel that he was gone.. his spirit momentarily missing.. somewhere else.
She studied him carefully and nearly pitifully as she crouched down to kneel next to his body. His body was littered and splattered with bright red wounds. His pants looked as if they were dip dyed in red paint; His once pale skin along with the majority of his clothes was covered in a bright red splatter. Long, dark red lacerations decorated his face. His mouth was still agape; his once white teeth were coated in the same shade of red his clothes were.
Even though he looked absolutely horrible; Mallory still felt absolutely no remorse for the antichrist. Knowing what he would become, and his sick ways of manipulation deserved no mercy. However, knowing only seconds ago he was nothing but a mere bloody, suffering child.. she couldnt help but to not fight the tears she felt budding at her eyes; letting one slide down her cheek before quickly wiping it away - she knew it was naive to assume she wasnt being watched.
Mallory wasnt stupid - she knew her powers and what she was capable of, like the back of her hand by now. The past few months practically consisted of her testing and expanding on her limits... She knew that healing Michael in this exact moment wasnt out of the question. In fact, it almost seemed to be more difficult to restrain herself from healing him.. but she knew better.
He deserves to fucking suffer. He deserved to rot in his personal hell; wherever that may be.
She couldnt help but to nearly laugh at the thought that he finally got what was fucking coming to him.
Mallory could feel herself shaking with how close she was to Michael now. She couldnt stand how he made her feel when they were this close - almost touching.
She now was kneeling next to his body on the concrete, her knees aching from the rough surface but she couldnt go just yet. Not when she still had no fucking clue where to go from here.
The world seemed as if it came to stand still; nothing seemed like it existed outside of the small bubble that Mallory felt her and Michael were suddenly trapped in.. The birds stopped singing, no cars happened to drive by.. everything just stopped.
All the spirits and souls that Mallory could feel that were trapped within the grounds of the house, didnt bother to make a appearance either. But she knew they were still there... she could still feel their eyes on her. Watching; waiting.
The sun's warmth, which normally Mallory chose to bask in, was starting to make her itch. She could feel her skin start to moisten with sweat.. Instinctively she knew that her sudden newfound state of being uncomfortable was her cue to leave... To go where though? She wasnt sure.
Why am I still here? If everything had happened correctly; if I really killed him.. then why havent I woken up yet??
Mallory continued to stare at him grimly; not quite brave enough to speak but still managing to maintain the courage to sit by him and look at the damage she caused. The most jarring feature of Michael's current appearance would be his eyes. Mallory couldnt help but to stare at them; and it certainly wasnt because they were beautiful.
His once vibrant, sky blue, irises were now starting to look oddly dull. A faint, milky white color looked as if it were painted over them instead.
His skin was now a bruised white; Mallory shakily extended out her hand - pressing the back of her knuckles softly to his forearm. She wanted to see how cold his body was; and when she made contact - she pulled her hand back so fast as if it had been burned. She hissed, the coolness of his skin stunned her. She stared at his body intensely - shocked that she even dared to touch him, let alone even stick around for this long. 
The sounds Michael started to make is what finally drove Mallory to wake up out her near trance she found herself amidst in and to realize the reality of the situation. After minutes of silence and stillness, and sure death, Michael's chest finally started to move. The amount at which his chest moved was nearly minuscule at first; but he was recovering rather quickly.. too fucking quickly for Mallorys liking.
It was almost sickly ironic how Mallorys chest started to move faster and faster as soon as Michael's did; she couldn't help but to feel entirely panicked. The rest of her emotions; her thoughts; her feelings; everything that used to make up her was now fleeting.. rapidly leaving until as she could focus on was the oxygen briskly escaping her.
She watched the color from his skin start to return; the off putting stark whiteness leaving and a very subtle pink gracing his skin tone. More noticeably; she observed how the color in his lips and eyes returned back.. almost appearing normal.
She unconsciously found herself rising; panic still occupying all of her senses. She quickly unfolded her legs and steadied herself as she stood up.. One thought and one thought only rang through her mind like a sick mantra..
I need to get the fuck out of here.
Mallory tried to gasp as she suddenly felt her throat grow incredibly dry; she let out a desperate dry cough. Her eyes started to tear up unwillingly as she felt a enormous amount of self doubt suddenly surge into the core of her being - the feeling slipping momentarily into her soul.
The world around her began to spin and melt away simultaneously; until she felt her physical body melt away from Michael and the Murder House incredibly rapidly before she could even fully process what was happening.
She felt the harsh coldness of the bath tub water for a split second before she emerged; the black water engulfing her as she stayed partially concealed within the water. Immeadietly she found herself gasping and gagging on her tongue from not being able to breath possibly fast enough... The next thing she felt was otherworldly pain. She felt so much fucking pain.
Mallory gripped the edge of the bathtub until her fingertips turned white and her nails threatened to split. She stayed like that for a moment; spitting and gasping, trying to find a way to consume as much oxygen as possible while managing the nearly unimaginable pain. Her entire body throbbed but her eyes felt a different pain; a sickly stinging.
Keeping her posture and preventing herself from slipping entirely back into the black water was a fucking mission in itself, she quickly learned. She didnt even bother to pretend to be quiet.. Her breaths and groans were far too loud to even begin to ignore.
Is Michael still alive?  Where is Myrtle?
Mallorys lungs seemed to return to normal capacity after a while, her gasping decreased until she was utterly and completely quiet. She arose from the water as quietly as she possibly could, biting her lip to prevent making any additional noise from the sudden cold air she felt against her body.. stinging and torturous..
Her eyes still ached, bringing her hands instinctively to her eyes to stop the pain - she realized ones of her hands was still balled into a fist.. holding onto something.
Was that.. is that MICHAELS hair??
Mallory stared at the once curly, perfectly golden strands of hair that lie in her balled up fist in complete horror - it was now a dark red from the blood that had washed off her skin and into the water.
There was no way this was HIS hair. It had to be someone elses; anyone elses! She refused to believe that she was holding onto anything that belonged or had to do with Michael... complete disgust and delirium rendered her from thinking that.
Her first instinct was to drop the hair; but something told her to keep holding onto the lock, it would only serve her well in the future.
Her vision was inky with blood; dark red clouding her vision and making her feel even more impaired and utterly hopeless then she already felt.. even with the large wound still gaping and bleeding from her stomach. Her stomach wound made her entire body ache, trying to stay conscious was a fight within itself.
It happened again. I failed.
She wasnt sure if she was just being cynical or if her thoughts were even to be trusted anymore when she was in this state.. she only knew she wanted this horrible nightmare to be fucking over with already. She wanted to wake up in Robichauxs and see her sisters; Misty, Madison, Queenie, Zoe and more than anyone.. Cordelia... Oh fuck.
Cordelia... She was still dead.. because of me.
Mallory blinked slowly a few times; taking her free hand and wiping as much blood away from her face and eyes as she could - just enough so she could fully take in her surroundings.
If she could feel her stomach; she was sure she would feel it drop because as much as she looked, she saw no one. Absolutely no one. Tears slipped down her cheeks but they werent bloody anymore. She knew she was completely fucked; he had her cornered.
Well not literally anyways. He still managed to lurk somewhere within the vast empty walls of Outpost Three; most likely looking for her.. but he had to know she was fatally wounded.. right? 
That's when out of the thick silenceness, she heard the first sign of life. Loud; but distant heavy footsteps.
Michael.
She knew she was fucked right away. She could almost feel his spirit itself within Hawthorne; the feeling slowly flowing to her until it forced her to be frozen. Petrified, still sopping wet and with some left over blood dripping off her chin - she knew what she had to do.. and she only had seconds to do it. Mallory knew he was approaching closer and closer the longer she stood docile in the bathtub.. like a idiot.
She took deep, heavy breaths. Fully; for the first time, cherishing the feeling of oxygen in her lungs - knowing that she very well might not make it out alive. Preforming time travel once alone was a enormous feat; but she had already done it twice.. but three times?
The thought simultaneously scared and excited her; she continued take deep breaths before relaxing. Closing her eyes and focusing; searching for a moment in Michael's history to go back too.
There had to be another time Michael was weak besides when he was with Constance at the murder house.. Another time that he felt abandoned.. lost.. confused..
She swallowed as she felt and focused on the soft strands of hair that she held onto; trying to search desperately for the answer that she needed as she took the next step and plunged herself under the water, first barely managing to weakly whisper, "tempus infinituum".
The water tore at her skin as she felt herself letting go from the past reality... slowly yet rapidly her senses seemed to all melt away at once before she was floating- until nothing.
Suddenly Mallory opened her eyes, blinking as she kept calm as she adjusted to her new surroundings.. an open, nearly empty forest was what welcomed her as she slowly spun around.
The smell of pine leaves and the heavy scent of the forest consumed her senses. She first felt calm and at peace; the forest was beautiful. She almost felt tempted to forget about what she came here to do and to lose herself within the sea of greenery but.. something was terribly wrong.
More so; someone was here.
Mallory first stood still; puzzled as to why she was now standing in a vacant forest with pine needles at her feet.
She didnt dare say a word out loud, just in case, but she knew she was waiting for something before she dared to take a step.. she was waiting for a sign. She didnt bat a eye when she felt a soft, warm breeze tousle her hair forward. She felt it continue to crash against her body - almost like soft waves crashing upon rocks. She felt it on her warm skin; her skin getting goosebumps as she knew what this meant. She was getting her sign.
This is it. Is he here?
Mallory giggled at the mere thought; the anticipation and glee of imagining how this nightmare perhaps could be over in the near future was making her experience true euphoria.
She began to walk through the forest; passing several trees as she searched for what she was yearning for. The breeze was far gone by now but she knew to keep going; to keep looking. She looked at the forest landscape that lie ahead of her; a sea of moss and blended greens and blues. The forest didnt have the same magic it typically held though; something was missing.
It was because she was getting closer to him.
Mallory had to suppress a scream as she suddenly felt herself step on something that wasnt the forest floor. She felt a painful shiver run directly down her spine, almost as if someone was running a blade down her back. She was becoming consumed with panic once more; and with the sudden realization what was happening.. What this meant.
It was pure reflex which caused her to take a step back; even before she had the opportunity to look down and confirm her suspicions, she knew exactly what she had stepped on. A body.
She quickly looked down at what she had stepped on - not able to take the anonymity of the individual any longer.. and of course..
I fucking knew it.
She recognized who it was immeadietly, curly blonde hair that was mangled with dirt and a typical black outfit.. it was too easy to guess the identity of the body. He was face down, his body sprawled out unnaturally and in a uncomfortable manner..
It was once again; Michael Langdon.
Taglist: @mina672 @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakewaterxx @dark-mei-rose @9layerdevilfoodcake @prophecy-is-inevitable @matildaofoz @beautyiswithinchaos @frenchlangdon @beyond-repentance @lizzy-claire-fandom
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ahgastae · 3 years
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worst chefs in seoul (outline) – kim seokjin x gn!reader
➥ word count: 3.9k | reality/cooking show au | crack | fluff
➥ m.list
➥ a/n: we’re back at it again with another wip i never finished lol. this one is the outline for what was intended to be a social media au (as evidenced by some of the notes i left for myself), though it’s likely that’s not how it actually would’ve come out. i’d love to hear some of your thoughts/reactions, and i hope you enjoy ♡
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day ???
start w y/n and yoongi goofing off on twitter
the whole y/n eating a moldy grape thinking it’s a kiwi thing
and yoongi panicking bc of it
could transition into them talking about the finale episode of their favorite show: worst chefs in seoul
they’re both huge fans, and equally complete disasters when it comes to culinary skill
yoongi likes the show bc he likes the competition aspect and tbh he got addicted after y/n forced him to watch the first season w them
y/n also likes it for that reason, but the main reason they watch it is bc of a certain kim seokjin
anyway, they talk about the finale, and then yoongi says something about the next season’s ‘nominations’ coming up soon
y/n jokingly says they’re going to nominate yoongi bc of that one time he made tacos with dog food
and yoongi fires back w the time they managed to light the microwave on fire making cup o’ noodles
they agree to let each other live
…..for now
sike!
the two actually do end up nominating each other w/o the other knowing
y/n honestly just thought it would be funny if yoongi got picked and yoongi was like “fuck it why not”
little did they know…..
while the nomination guidelines assure that the selection process is completely random, this is a reality show
meaning for anyone w a brain that’s obviously not the case
contestants are actually chosen by the show’s assistant producers and approved by the chefs themselves and then the higher ups
but who are those assistant producers??
none other than park jimin and kim taehyung
neither of them keep their involvement with the show a secret, and one takes it a teensy bit more seriously than the other
anyway, they’re usually told to find a batch of contestants (that they feel) would conjure up the most drama for the show
it is tv, after all, and they have to keep people watching
and that part is crucial
to their credit, they do (somewhat) succeed for the most part
jimin selects yoongi and namjoon from the nomination pool bc he thinks joon’s clumsiness w yoongi’s nonchalant nature will work for max chaos
and taehyung chooses y/n and jungkook bc while their competitive drives are similar, y/n’s subdued nature has a big chance for conflict w jk’s out-there attitude
(how do they know all this? they’re experts at what they do leave me alone)
day ??? 2.0
y/n (and yoongi, secretly) is ecstatic when they get the emails/DM/whatever that they’ve been “chosen for the next hot season of worst chefs in seoul!”
but then yoongi asks if it’s allowed for them to know each other and accept the nomination
like they’re best friends. is that going to present some kinda problem that’ll get them both kicked off??
should only one of them accept it?
(he’s immediately ready to sacrifice his own nomination bc he knows how much y/n cares about this stupid show)
y/n says they’re not going to let him do that bc they were both chosen, meaning they both should get to go
but—
“it’s fine!! we can just pretend we don’t know each other when we’re on set!”
and so they’re off
to some undisclosed location in seoul
day 0
jimin and taehyung are the first to greet everyone, collecting all four contestants together for a tour of the dorms
and y/n starts texting yoongi in a panic bc both of their dumbasses forgot that the contestants are separated into teams as soon as they arrive
yoongi prolly says smth like i’m two feet away from you why are you texting me
(y/n reminds him they can’t make it seem like they know each other)
yoongi acts like it’s not that big of a deal
prolly says there’s a good chance they’ll end up on the same team
and if they don’t they can just hang out in the dorms when the cameras are off and away
which is when jimin loudly announces that this season, each team is getting their own dormitory
and that contestants will be required to stay in their dorm while filming the season, except for approved ‘outings’ for the show
he moves on before anyone can ask what that means
they’ll be allowed to pick whichever dorm they want to stay in for the first night, since they want to get the contestants’ reactions on camera when they reveal the teams
but after they’re revealed tomorrow, it’s your dorm and your dorm only
y/n and yoongi automatically gravitate towards each other
they end up together in the ‘new’ dorm, which yoongi grumpily notes is practically bigger than their whole apartment
y/n wonders if they ended up in seokjin’s dorm, and gets excited at the thought of this being a ‘test’ to see which chef’s team they’ll be on
to which yoongi asks what makes this dorm his?
“idk i just...feel his aura in here”
“.......okay, weirdo. i’m gonna go ‘feel his aura’ in the bathroom and take a—”
“yoongi!!”
y/n can either ask what yoongi thinks of the other contestants or they can both pretty much blow them off entirely for the time being
idk which yet
day 1
next morning, the contestants are woken up bright and early by none other than our favorite assistant producers
the wake up call comes in the form of a new group chat between the six of them
along with a link to ‘download’ the calendar for the shooting schedule
(which is really an app/virus that disables certain functions on their phones)
((such as most social media and texting numbers outside their ‘parameters’))
after that’s all hashed out, jm & t explain that this group chat is for any and all notifications and updates about the show, as well as any questions and/or concerns the contestants might have
like
“can i just vote to eliminate myself now and go home?” and
“how do i get this fucking thing off my phone” and
“when do we find out what team we’re on??”
the answers to which are
no
you’ll find out when filming is finished
and right now!
they tell the contestants to get up and get dressed as their first day on set officially starts now
y/n and kook immediately jump into action and leave the gc
joon lags behind a little confused but follows the flow
yoongi, ever the people person, gets aggressive when they don’t answer his questions about their goddamn malware
“is this even legal?? are you even fucking allowed to just disable our devices like this?”
“what if there’s an emergency??”
“looks like you’ll just have to find out, huh?”
yoongi’s phone then crashes and won’t let him unlock it until the first block of filming is finished
jm: “oops ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ”
day 1 recap
we find out through our superfan what happens during the first episode
(maybe do something like this person is some kinda press/‘news’ account dedicated entirely to w.c.i.s. and the two chefs)
((mayhaps they leak the contestant list before it goes public??))
((jimin and tae could have some kinda unspoken rivalry w them lol))
anyway the story is told through them in a series of twitter threads
(plus a few messages from y/n to yoongi freaking out about the teams they get put on)
first event of the day is: the team announcements
yoongi and joon end up on team kim seokjin and y/n is on team jyp w kook
being split up puts a bit of a damper on their plans, and with this stupid cell block they don’t know if they’ll even be allowed to talk to each other
none of them get much time to react, though, as they’re then shuffled off to their respective kitchens
where they finally meet their respective chefs
and, lo and behold, y/n is goddamn terrified
jinyoung is even scarier in person than he is on tv
“don’t laugh at me yoongi!! this is the guy who made a girl sob on live television!”
“and now ur gonna be the next person what’s the problem lmao”
while y/n tries to get past their fear, they’re given their first official task: work together with their new partner to create a meal of their choice
the catch is that they aren’t allowed any help from their chef yet
and since the teams were just announced literally like 10 minutes ago, none of them have had much of a chance to get to know each other
(the network knows this, and does this on purpose since most of the seasons’ first episodes are spent either arguing or being completely lost)
things go about as well (read: badly) as expected
y/n and kook soon discover their very conflicting personalities and spend the majority of the round bickering back and forth about what to make/how to do it
meanwhile yoongi slaps a piece of sliced cheese directly on the stove while joon runs around like a chicken w its head cut off
in the end, team jyp somehow manages to come out victorious
they cobble together some (semi) edible banana milkshakes to present to the judges
(‘together’ meaning y/n wanted to make plain vanilla milkshakes and kook switched it for banana milk when they weren’t looking)
yoongi and joon tried (keyword being tried) to make grilled cheese
but between yoongi’s cheese-to-stove method and joon dropping their two pieces of burnt toast right before the timer rang
they didn’t get many points
as their reward, team jyp has the honor of picking what they’ll be making tomorrow
they’re given the rest of the day to think and talk it over while team ksj is told to reflect on what went wrong in today’s trial
back at the dorms (now in their separate teams), y/n finds that yoongi finally graces them w a response
(and that they were right about which one was ‘seokjin’s’ dorm)
yoongi tells them about ‘that little shit’ locking him out of his phone and that he honestly just wants to get tf out of there contract or not
y/n convinces him to stay and stick it out, if not for them then for the prize money at the end
yoongi then asks what dish they’re going to pick for tomorrow, and asks if they can pick something he at least has an idea how to make
cue y/n saying that they were thinking of suggesting one of seokjin’s signature dishes but not knowing if kook would go along w the idea
“he kept trying to switch out our ingredients for banana milk and i don’t know how to tell him to knock that shit off”
“honestly you know i’m not one to take charge but he wasn’t even listening to me!! what’s to say he’s actually going to listen to the PROFESSIONAL chef here to help us??”
“aNd SPeAkINg oF THaT”
cue y/n whining about how they wanted to be on jin’s team and it’s not fair that they both got stuck w jinyoung AND a bratty kid on their team
yoongi sympathizes since he was looking forward to them being on the same team, but makes y/n agree that if he has to give the competition a chance then they have to give kook one too
“i mean yeah he seems like a bit of a dumbass but isn’t that why we’re all here? bc we have no fuckin clue what to do in the kitchen?”
hmm...fine they’ll give him a chance
but they still think he’s a lil shit and don’t really wanna talk to him at all, let alone reach some kinda compromise on what to make
they don’t get much or a choice, though, as they both receive a mysterious message from...jungkook? in another group chat?
the contestants find that they have all been manually added to another gc
except this one is missing the two assistant producers who love to breathe down their necks
everyone but jk is immediately suspicious
is this some of trick to get them to screw up?
to break some kinda hidden clause in the contract none of them actually read?
wasn’t that thing they downloaded supposed to block incoming messages like this?
“but wait, yoongi, then how were we able to…?”
but as of right now, they don’t get any answers
and they’re all too afraid to ask anyone but each other
“well we’re all here so...we might as well get to know each other right?? :D”
this is where we get our first in-depth look at the four people stuck on this show together, who in their lives nominated them and why
(y/n and yoongi’s lying skills are put to a bit of a test as they each rush to pull stories right out of their asses)
kook talks about bambam and says his nomination said smth about “adding banana milk to everything f*ckin thing he makes”
he doesn’t really get why that was enough to land him a spot on the show but he thought it would be pretty cool to be on tv and just went along with it
namjoon talks about hobi and emphasizes that he’s not that bad of a cook
he just gets nervous and confused when it comes to recipes and cooking which expresses itself in the form of his unabashed clumsiness
joon then asks if they’ll really be prevented from having any outside communication until filming is finished
he, like yoongi, questions the legality of deceitfully installing the block on their phones
y/n says there probably was some kind of hidden clause that allowed them to do that, as they “can’t imagine seokjin would take part in a competition that abuses its contestants”
to which joon replies that they don’t actually know seokjin so they can’t really ‘imagine’ anything about how he will or won’t act
right as yoongi is about to jump in and tell him to back off, jungkook decides that that’s way too much legal talk for him
he forces changes the subject back to the gc as a whole and says that even if they’re prevented from talking to their friends he’s happy they’ll “at least have each other :D”
y/n feels like part of that is directed at them and feels bad for how they thought he was ‘just a dumb kid’ before
namjoon, however, is still hesitant
he’s not sure if this chat could get them in trouble in regards to the show and their contract and what not and says that they all should probably delete it just to be safe
but that is unanimously vetoed by y/n and kook (and yoongi, reluctantly) and they decide that if the block allowed it to pass through then it must be allowed
before joon can argue anymore, they all receive a message from tae in the ‘official’ gc
he briefly explains the lights out policy of the dorms and tells them that they’re probably going to want a good night's sleep for their ‘big day’ tomorrow
yoongi then says smth like “well...guess that’s lights out then” and jk responds excited as ever w “night guys!! see you all in the morning! :)”
and y/n can feel their soul leaving their body for even thinking anything ill about him
day 2
contestants are woken up bright and early by alarms they didn’t set
(“oh great, so they just hijacked every app on our fucking phones then”
jimin tells them all to hurry up, get dressed, and meet the chauffeur outside bc they can’t afford to be late
(“literally! every second you waste is money docked from the network’s wallet! so get your asses in gear, guppies!”)
y/n and kook get outside first, but yoongi and joon are nowhere to be seen
y/n decides to text the q & a gc to get the dirt on seokjin
they kinda start sucking up to jimin and tae to see if they’ll reveal any info, particularly about what the chef is like and if it’s possible for him to talk to the ‘other’ team’s contestants
and while the producers are pleasantly surprised that one of the contestants actually want to use that gc for something other than yelling at them
they unfortunately can’t give much info besides what most people already know
and confirm that one of the chefs talking to the other’s students was probably not allowed, but that it’s also never really happened before so they’re not really sure lmao
(“taehyung!!” “what? was i not supposed to say that?”)
jimin cuts the conversation short there as yoongi and joon arrive and they all get on the shuttle for the set
taehyung does say one last thing tho
“good luck!! hopefully they don’t tear u up too bad!”
but first
our superfan gives us the downlow on the competition and how it works
after being split into teams, the contestants will rotate between ‘training’ w their chef and competing against each other in timed trial rounds
prizes can be won for both events, but the ones for the trial rounds are generally more competition based while the ones for the training rounds are more about luxury/quality of life while filming
each trial round win counts as a point towards the team’s score in the competition
only trial rounds affect this score
once a certain number of points has been reached (5), that team moves into the next phase of the competition
instead of working as a team, they are split up and now have to work against each other to win the favor of their chef
and in the finale, after one last big cookout competition, an individual winner is chosen and crowned a ‘former’ worst chef in seoul
once the contestants arrive on set, the chefs reiterate that today is just a training round
(they all let out a collective sigh of relief)
and it’s a good thing everyone woke up so early bc they’re just in time to learn how to make breakfast!!
“it’s not like we had much of a choice-oof.”
“anyway! team jyp, since you won the pretrial round yesterday, you get to decide what both teams will be learning how to make today. so, y/n, jungkook. think carefully. what do you want for breakfast?”
y/n is about to suggest seokjin’s signature strawberry and cream crepes when jungkook, who is still half asleep, blurts out “omelette”
(also i’ve decided that jackson is the host of the show now and i’m not changing my mind)
and it’s decided. they’re makin’ omelettes
(y/n is only a little bit peeved)
shuffled off to their separate kitchens, y/n is reminded of just how terrified they are of jinyoung
sure, they thought he was scary yesterday when they realized they were on his team, but now he has to actually teach them and they can’t help but think he’s going to make them into an idiot sandwich by the end of the day
as such, they try to keep half-asleep kook in between them and jinyoung at all costs, even if it meant running around the kitchen like a lost puppy
jinyoung, fully aware of how the show portrays him and how fans view him, notices this almost instantaneously
but he unfortunately doesn’t get to pull y/n aside to address it before jungkook starts digging through the fridge for banana milk and almost throws the entire carton of eggs on the floor
professional chef jyp mode: on
and they’re off
it’s a little difficult with y/n dancing around the kitchen anxiously and jungkook’s absolute aversion to being told what to do (as y/n predicted), but jinyoung manages to whip them into shape long enough to (barely) make a ham, cheese, and “green onion? wtf is that?” omelette
team seokjin, however, does not favor as well
yoongi apparently doesn’t know what tf a green onion is either and just throws in whatever green vegetable he can find while jin is struggling to keep namjoon from setting himself on fire
….and it turned out to be celery
that, plus joon somehow managing to burn the omelette to a crisp, costs them the training round
y/n and kook start to celebrate their victory and actually working as a team when jackson informs them that their ‘prize’ is they get to eat what they cooked while the other team gets whatever is left over on the catering table
“i hope you listened to your chef!”
“...jungkook, please tell me you used actual milk in this”
“um…”
back at the dorms, the contestants share their thoughts on their first day of training, as well as their first official day w their chefs
(also include y/n saying something about their banana milk omelettes actually not being half bad)
y/n immediately recalls how much they were terrified of jinyoung, almost cutting their finger off when he glanced over their shoulder when they were slicing the green onions
jk agrees, adding smth about how he didn’t think a scowl could ever be so intimidating
“it reminded me of my mom’s face when she found out i tried to pierce my own ears in the bathroom in middle school!! i was too afraid to push the needle all the way through and walked around with it in my ear all day until one of my teachers finally noticed and sent me to the office!”
...ok jungkook
during all of this, yoongi and joon are both like...wtf
“seokjin was literally nothing but nice to us. even when namjoon almost set his sleeve on fire lmao”
“hyung how did u manage that” “doesn’t matter”
jungkook thinks the difference in the chefs is hilarious, but y/n is only upsetti spaghetti
they go on a bit of a rant about how badly they wanted to be on jin’s team
saying something about how jinyoung is scary and mean and they’re almost positive he can sense their fear or something and probably use it against them while jin’s team would be so much better on the sole fact that they wouldn’t feel like he would turn them into an omelette for getting something wrong
cue jk being all babey asking “you...don’t wanna be on a team with me? :((“
and y/n immediately PANICS and tries to explain that NO, it’s not HIM but yoongi saves their ass by saying that seokjin is just their favorite and that’s all
jungkook feels better, but then namjoon is like “hol up. we all just met. how could you possibly know that?”
insert more y/n fumbling and jk confusion
yoongi (once again) covers w some bullshit story that he was able to just guess that based on what y/n’s said in the gc so far
joon wants to question it further, but jungkook informs them that the lights out call just came in before he can
another yoony/n sigh of relief
in private, y/n freaks out to yoongi for almost blowing their cover to the others
prompting a short conversation over whether they think they can trust them or not
y/n admits that they’re warming up to kook, but is a little suspicious if namjoon will keep their secret yet
convo ends with yoongi saying something like “well, the kid’s right about one thing. at least we know we have each other”
end.
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jonathanrook · 3 years
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legally i have to give you intern 2
em you have awoken an ungodly beast inside me so i need to warn everyone that this post is. incomprehensible. but so is mymusic so i guess we're all used to it.
How I feel about this character:
i watched mymusic as it was airing/running/coming out specifically bc i'm a jack stannie, and as a kid melvin was my second favorite character (w scene being in first, obvs) for mostly that reason. he basically hovered around this ranking until my most recent rewatch in the summer of 2020, which was actually spurred by some events in my personal life that vaguely reminded me of scene's season two arc w jeff, and i thought it'd been a funny/nostalgic way to get my mind off things.
(i want to side note here that -- i know you didn't ask, but -- i love jeff. i have since i was a kid. like, obviously not as a person but i think he's honestly the best written character in the series, w indie close in second. idk what it says about the f*nes that their most interesting and well rounded characters are the villains, but i digress. to this day i'm salty that jeff never got added to the theme song and wasn't really included in promotional merch.)
however, in said rewatch, certain things about how he was written started to really get under my skin, and certain moments in particular have really stuck out to me in a negative way. like, for the entirety of season one and a good chunk of season two he's one person, and then he leaves mymusic and we have an entirely different person, but not in a nuanced character building sort of way.
i've said a few of these points before but i'll repeat them here regardless. at the risk of sounding like i've put on a tin-foil hat, it's my sneaking suspicion that scindie was supposed to be endgame, but since fan reception to it was pretty neutral, and scenechart stans were, at the very least, more vocal, changes were made to the intended finale, which is why in the last scene he's basically just. indie. like, if everything about the show was exactly the same but indie was the one who had ended up w scene in the end that would have made so much more sense since a) scene had a crush on indie that he/everyone knew about and b) indie was kind of a dick despite the half-assed attempts at redemption, so both combined make it slightly less weird/out-of-nowhere that he kisses her w/o her consent (since, even though like. implied consent is not real at worst and a fuzzy subject at best but you could argue that scene would want indie to kiss her); and this isn't even taking into consideration that c) melvin is heavily queer-coded in both seasons, with his friendship with nerdcore being, dare i say, homoerotic at times, and his arc about leaving the company and changing his name mirroring nerdcore's almost perfectly (with nerdcore being a character who b*nny [at least] has all but confirmed is actually gay).
i've also been on the fence about melvin's behavior in that final scene making more sense for indie's character being an intentional decision as a way of shoe-horning in a theme about the lasting effects of abuse/cycles of abuse/the corruption of power but i also don't think the f*nes are smart enough for that. however, for the sake of defending my straw theory, i also point to the scene where indie comes to visit the acid factory after melvin told him to shut up, and we see melvin use reggie as a foot-stool, going as far as to say that it feels good to do so (which, in all honesty, i think is a bit that was entirely improvised, since the f*nes were "notorious for never saying cut" [paraphrased from a bts video], but work w me here). he's also given a seltzer mug that perfectly resembles indie's kombucha mug. in these moment melvin is directly emulating the behavior of his previous abuser, purposefully or not, literal moments after being promoted to an equal position of authority, which was totally just included as a joke, but could also be argued is meant to show that he's becoming indie; or, if we acknowledge that the f*nes have no fucking clue what they're doing and were just directing like chickens with their heads cut off, it at least shows that melvin's new position of power is leading him to understand where indie was coming from, which is supported by their conversation in the finale.
the following contains a couple brief mentions of irl sexual assault so if that's something you'd like to avoid skip to the next section!
HOWEVER, that alone isn't what i have a problem with, since i think melvin is completely justified in being a dick to indie (and also reggie enthusiastically consents to being used as an ottoman so good for him i guess). the issue comes completely in how he treats scene in the scenes where the f*nes clearly thought what they were writing was super romantic. like, the fact that the only thing he's got hung on his cubicle wall is a single picture of scene taken from the fucking opening credits (like. how hard would it have been to have. literally any other photo[s] esp since there's an abundance of cute bts pics of the cast in costume that could have been put there) and him scrolling through her twitter at work really creep me out (and at the risk of oversharing the weird, like, social media stalking angle really fucks w me bc that may or may not have been the exact fucking thing i was trying to escape in rewatching mymusic in the first place). also, having him sexually assault scene as a means of comforting her after she had just been sexually assaulted in the same way by someone else was... a choice (which is also, uh, personally familiar).
again, i recognize that demonizing melvin wasn't what the f*nes were trying to do here, and i perhaps seem hypocritical for opening liking jeff, but what makes jeff work is he's intentionally "the bad guy." having melvin do the same things as indie and jeff uncritically only proves further that the f*nes can't write for shit, and ruins his character which had, up until he quit mymusic, been unironically good. like, it's obviously not beneficial that the exact asshole things he does are personally triggering, but the character would still be a mess and i would still dislike him regardless.
i want to say though that jack delivers a surprisingly great performance despite how shoddily his character is constructed and how little experience he has as an actor. like, it's clear he was having a lot of fun on set and i would love to see him in something, like, good; i think he could pull off even like, guest television roles, which is a lot more than can be said for other youtubers.
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All the people I ship romantically with this character:
nerdchart should have been canon i'm sorry. i know that close, nonromantic male friendships are valuable, esp between queer men, but also gd wouldn't it have been baller to have a canon interracial mlm ship. like. c'mon. and they could have been such a good friends to lovers story! we already got to see how melvin was the only person nerdcore could really be himself around so it would have been so cool if melvin's self-advocacy arc/flowchart arc had revolved more around nerdcore with a little role-reversal! and then they kiss! like god intended!
also i ship him and indie bc i'm a grubby little gremlin man ohoho. enemies w weird sexual tension? sign me up. not even enemies to lovers i'm not saying this one should have been canon i just love the vibes. do you think melvin and indie ever explored each other's bod-- *gunshot*
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My non-romantic OTP for this character:
i wish him and scene had just been bros. god remember in season one when they were just bros that was the life.
alternatively, i wish we'd seen more bonding w him and metal, as a means of reconciling that. uh. moment from season one. along similar lines i would have loved to see him get closer w rayna in a similar way to how she bonded w nerdcore in season two. i think that could have also worked to show how she'd grown between the two seasons.
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My unpopular opinion about this character:
HIM. AND. SCENE. SHOULD. HAVE. JUST. BEEN. BROS. (though i think my general dislike of him is pretty unpopular, lmao).
when the show was coming out i don't think it's unfair to say that scenechart/scenetern 2 was the most popular ship (aside from potentially techstep whatever) but luckily we're all gay and have better taste now. unfortunately i totally fell into this camp and scenechart was even my otp for years (until it was arguably more unfortunately usurped by reddie in 2019) and i didn't even realise that it's a hot mess until, again, the summer of 2020.
when actually watching the show the choices the f*nes made in regards to how the ship actually became canon are so odd and out of place, too? okay, so, on one hand everyone just shipped scenechart bc it was the whitest hettiest ship in the show (esp in season two when idol left) aside from scindie (and we already discussed what's wrong w that). but, on the other hand, lainey and jack clearly also just got along? and i suspect that lainey probably also admired jack's work and was happy to be working with him bc we have so many shots throughout even the first season when the ship wasn't the intended endgame of lainey scene looking really fondly at jack melvin at times when it doesn't make much sense at all, esp since she's smitten w indie? this trend continues into the second season which arguably works but it still seems really out of place for him to be the one to ultimately make the first move on her since it's clear she was the one crushing this whole time and also he's gay! this bitch is gay what the fuck!!
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One thing I wish had happened with this character in canon:
at this point i'm struggling to think of anything i haven't covered yet. oops.
i've talked at length before about how he should have been a woman/lesbian, but the tl;dr is that it would have solved a lot of the queer-coding "problems" that just didn't get resolved in the show. if he'd been a lesbian then not only would the friendship w nerdcore still made sense, but scenechart would have as well (not even mentioning that both of scene's other relationships w men make a lot of sense as comphet anyway).
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florvinhara · 3 years
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my detectives (part 1)
kjahfjhsj i can have a little infodumping... as a treat... anyway this was originally gonna be 1 post but then i got carried away so part 1 in the series of me ranting abt my detectives!
Kira Isabella Song
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Romances N, F, or M
Age: 25 at the start of book 1, currently 26
Birthday: February 7
Star sign: Aquarius sun, Taurus moon, Scorpio rising
Height: 5’7”
Hair: Short, ash blonde, a little longer than chin length
Eyes: dark brown
Race/ethnicity: Korean-American
Other appearance details: Several beauty marks on face and body. a few subtle scars on face/legs from falling out of trees, etc. fingers are callused from band practice and left hand fingers are a little crooked from being broken.
Languages: English, Spanish, a few basic phrases in some other languages
Stats:
Charming/Intimidating
Impulsive/Cautious
Sarcastic/Genuine
Friendly/Stoic
Easygoing/Stubborn
Heart/Mind (equal)
Optimist/Pessimist
Team player/Independent
Primary skills: Science & combat
Strengths: Trustworthy, strong, courageous, calm under pressure, compassionate, thorough, clever, good intuition, self-sufficient, sure of herself
Weaknesses: Petty, caustic, distrustful, secretive, lackadaisical, insubordinate, emotionally unintelligent, can be disdainful, uncommunicative, contrary
Personal:
overall body language is casual and unbothered, lowkey her posture is kind of yikes RIP but she has a very fluid way of moving
her voice is smooth and somewhat low in pitch, very even in tone
Loud and/or jumbled sounds sometimes overwhelm her; she usually has noise cancelling headphones with her just in case
Rebellious as a teenager; she started skipping school and getting into fights, did some graffiti and one time she stole a street sign that she may or may not still have
When she wasn’t breaking rules, etc. she was taking boxing lessons, chilling in the library, going on runs, or playing bass guitar in her band
Wanted to get out of Wayhaven as soon as possible after college but was arrested after she came back because she was selling fake IDs and stole a car; absolutely did not want to be law enforcement but Rebecca and the captain essentially made her
The deal was that she would work at the station for 5 years and if she did well/stayed out of trouble she could then quit- she's 3 years into it
deep down if she wasnt a detective she would want to be a paramedic
She shares a lot of mannerisms with Rebecca and they’re way more similar than she’d like to admit
Birds FREAK her out seriously; she’ll deny that she’s afraid of them but she’ll cross the street to get away from them, also hates crowded places and deep water
Scary resting face and has a habit of just... eerily staring at people who are bothering her until they get spooked, but she's not actually that angry or grouchy, she's really just Vibing u know? she's not gonna correct anyone's impression though or they might start like... Talking to her :/
Loves any book/movie/show with a secret society or spy element and stories about a Hero and their Journey, also loves angsty philosophy books; her favorite movies are cheesy but feel-good (The Mummy, Pacific Rim, anything with big CGI monsters)
Doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth but would kill someone for strong coffee; if she’s really tired you can catch her drinking it cold straight from the pot with a straw
Emo/pop punk teen and she definitely cried when MCR broke up, she also listens to a lot of Dixie Chicks, Johnny Cash, Dottie West, Patsy Cline, etc
She’s been drawing since she was a kid- mainly works with charcoal and sometimes pastels. her sketchbooks are like her diaries and she’s never shown them to Anyone Ever
In her spare time, she still plays some guitar, draws, or reads; her library is extensive because she keeps every book she’s ever read or intends to read (it’s one of the few things she’ll drop real money on)
Very tactile person and fussy about textures, she prefers ultra soft blankets/pillows and her bed is basically a nest
Practical, efficient, frugal- she doesn’t necessarily find joy in cooking or anything but she can do it well enough, quick showers, uses cheap soap/shampoo, cuts her own hair
Her hands get super dry/chapped in the winter and it hurts very much :(
Never yells; when she gets angry she’s very cold & will Not hold back; every word is designed to hurt bc she’s purposefully poking at things she knows are sore spots
At the start of the books, she’s kind of... sleepwalking through life? like, she was in a not-great place mentally for most of her teens and didn’t really have a plan for the future but law enforcement was definitely not it? She isn’t feeling super passionate about what she’s doing and it kind of sucks to not have joy in purpose :( luckily that’s changing and is gonna be a significant part of her journey through the series!
Her apartment is cluttered but clean and she knows where everything is, if someone moved one of her things she would not be able to find it and it would bother her until she located it
She’s not stubborn exactly? Like she’ll concede an argument if it’s not super important to her and has no problem with losing or backing down in many cases; she’s pretty open minded in that respect, but if something is central to her values then she will Die before she backs down
On that note she’s overall a very logical person but when it comes down to it she'll follow her heart/first instinct
Does not care about rules or procedures At All, she'll follow them if it suits her end goal but otherwise... nope
Lowkey she… did not care about the reveal? it was a surprise but not her first priority in the moment- she kind of already thought UB was sketchy and didn’t trust them, so mainly she was pissed off that Rebecca had sent them to babysit her instead of actually help solve the murders
Speaking of Rebecca their relationship is kind of yikes. Kira isn’t exactly mad that Rebecca was gone so often, but she does think that she kind of forfeited her parenting rights and was annoyed that Rebecca was interfering with her life; first by getting her on the force and then by dropping UB on her. So now it’s Very Awkward between them because Kira doesn’t want to be like… mean but honestly what is there to say?? They’re trying but neither of them like to share personal information so it’s rough
On the subject of sharing, she just… genuinely doesn’t like to open up. Like, it doesn’t come naturally and in her mind it’s just… nobody else’s business what she’s feeling/what’s going on in her life
Genuinely does not realize that people care about her unless they openly tell her lmao... sad hours but at this point in the story she honestly doesnt think that any of UB cares abt her beyond their job besides the one she's dating :(
"Everyone should be allowed to feel things and rely on the support of the people around them, their emotions are Valid. not me though, this is my personal problem and as such its dumb so i have to get over it alone"
Her primary love language is acts of service, she wants the people she loves to have everything they might need; she’s Soft and really just wants snuggles but also she does not want to address it out loud
Her way of asking for affection is to just... stand/sit there and occasionally glance at the person... hovers like a sad ghost until she gets a hug... literally like 🥺👉👈 sjdhdkn Clown girl
She’s sarcastic and makes a lot of snarky comments, but generally she’s pretty honest unless she doesn’t want to talk about something (in which case she’ll brush it off and deflect or change subjects) which is why it annoys her so much when people are willfully dishonest or conniving
Pretty adaptable and capable of rolling with the punches but she generally dislikes surprises and being the center of attention
genuinely she's pretty chill! and a Huge enabler of chaos as well, like unless it's specifically bothering her she's gonna let it happen and mostly she thinks it's pretty funny to watch from the sidelines
in short she's basically like a feral cat who stares suspiciously at everyone from a distance until they successfully pspspsps their way into her heart and then she would die for them <3 but if she's mad she will make direct eye contact while shoving glasses off the counter
ahdgsksg ok last one i swear she Cannot Sit Properly, always has to be some flavor of lounging or leaning or sitting twisted into a pretzel
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flydotnet · 3 years
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Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me requests according to this marvelous card! (Red cross is the completed prompt, character headshots are prompts I’ve already filled. I don’t have any request left, so feel free to send in suggestions for this card!).
Like blood on a patch of fresh snow.
I'm not sure of where this fic went, but... oh well. I don't want to look at it for much longer, so here y'all go, 1.9K words of whatever this is. I really wanted to write more NaomiLG because I love them, but I realize I'm really not their best writer, so I need to hone my skills. Take this weird-ass oneshot with a very specific and picturesque prompt as an attempt to nail them. It was fun to imagine all of the red-on-white imagery, at least. Title comes from a Rammstein song because it played while I was writing this and I figured, y'know, it means "red rose", so why not make it the title? It at least sounds epic to someone like me who knows shit about German. No correlation to the lyrics, though, far from it lmao.
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Rosenrot
Summary: Naomi's past catches up to her in a street as someone else's blood spills for her.
Fandom: Trauma Team (spoilers for TC:SO and TT) Ship: Naomi/Little Guy
Wordcount: 1.9K words
Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo​
AO3 version available here.
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Like a widow who had lost her spouse, Naomi started wearing black after losing her ability to save lives. Back then, she didn’t really know why, probably to remind her of the sins she still had to expiate. It felt weird to her to wear white again, since it kept reminding her of the life she had to leave behind, that of a lifesaver whom people trusted with literally all they had left.
Even now, even as her life has gone back on track (she has a stable job, a daughter and friends who hold her in great esteem – things she thought she’d never have until a year ago), she continues wearing black because it feels more comfortable to be able to fade back into the shadows would she ever need to slip back into the night. She can’t ever live in the broad daylight, not anymore she knows this; but, as long as Alyssa doesn’t mind, then she doesn’t have a reason to complain. The cold and silence have their perks.
 Wearing black, at first, was to hide stains when she was working with Delphi. God knows there was little hygiene there, so blood could easily show on clothing when they weren’t careful. Wearing black robes (or whatever outfit they had given her that looked very little like a robe) allowed them to conceal the dark reds and rusts more easily without having to think about it too much. Out of sight, out of mind, she supposed.
On the other hand, blood is too visible on white. Of course, it is the point of wearing it for surgical procedures, since it’s easier to disinfect – it’s still too visible for people like Delphi or, in a way, her. Even to this day, seeing reddish stains on white fabric makes her uneasy, reminding her of things she’d much rather never think about again. She’s like the black-clad widow staring at the radiant bride with a wine stain on her dress: she knows what she lost and has the feeling of seeing a bad omen.
 There is this one thing about Delphi she has stopped minding, and it’s Little Guy, or whatever his real identity was supposed to be. If he reminded her of their dark past not too long ago, he now represents what they could become: atoners, working for “the right side” for once, working in the shadows to help the living move on like they’ve had to. Unlike her, he didn’t let himself dwell on the past, preferring to get moving.
The moment she understood it the most when he started to wear white more than black, renouncing to the colour she was always used to see him dress. It felt weird, at first, but he knew how to pull it off, and she got used to the new habits. Never dwell on the past, let herself get swiped away by the changing winds. Moreover, Alyssa really liked it whenever he’d drop by the house after driving her home after work or getting Alyssa from school when she couldn’t.
 But now, the past has caught back to them. Ex-Delphi members have found them again, motivated by the recent rise (and fall, but they forgot about that second time) of Adam’s nephew trying to bring the virus back right as PGS cases flare up across the USA. They’re not running away, this time: she did that enough when going to seek amnesty in Europe, so now, she better prepare herself to strike. Little Guy already cocks his FBI-licenced gun out, intending to strike judging by the little tremors in his fingers.
It goes in a flash: a couple bangs, blood spilling on the ground, dirt and smoke and iron fill the air of an urban cul-de-sac. The commotion is such that it’s difficult to follow anything until the stench of violence lifts up and so does the smog it created. For a moment, she believes they may have both gotten killed, and that she’s already passing into the afterlife, in denial of everything, not ready to face death nor discover if there is, indeed, something on the “other side” that isn’t roaming around this world and calling the “voodoo hotline”.
 One thing quickly becomes clear: she is still alive. In fact, everyone is somehow still alive, because she sees their three assailants with their weapons on the floor and wounds in their legs: they were only harmed to disarm them. She pats her own clothes and body to check if she hasn’t been injured, remembering reflexes she had thought long gone coming back to her in a moment’s notice. To her fortune, she seems okay, as she only feels dirt, dry clothing and skin under her fingers’ touch.
 Seeing the men lie on the ground in pain, she already grabs her phone and calls for help, going into not too many details for everyone’s safety and privacy.
“Little Guy,” she starts calling to her partner so they can get away from this place before being brought into this, her finger about to swipe the call off, “let’s go.”
His response is delayed.
“Sure… Sure thing.”
His voice sounds strangled and hesitant, drier than her clothes, and it prompts her to turn around. As soon as she does, however, her own breath gets caught in her throat as her entire body tenses up. Her mind, which was until now fixated on running as far as possible from the scene before they were going to be questioned about the bullets in their pursuers’ limbs, immediately switches to the same sort of panic she felt in Caduceus Europe all those years ago when she witnessed a fellow surgeon collapse in pain.
Little Guy!
 He’s sitting on the ground, back against the wall that cornered them until now, a hand loosely holding onto his gun, the other barely holding onto a striking red stain on his clear, monochrome attire. It’s expanding moment after moment, replacing the immaculate white of his shirt and suit jacket with a much darker colour. If it was only the bloodstained clothes, it’d have been fine, no matter how much this man frets over such things – but it’s not what is scaring her so much about this.
“Little Guy, what happened?!”
As he struggles to get an answer out, she takes his pulse: there, obviously, since he’s breathing, but weakening. His breathing is quick but shuddering, as if fragile like glass.
“One… one of them was armed,” he replies, swallowing every few words. “One bullet hit… my flank, I think?”
Not caring for the nail polish Alyssa put on her fingers last night, Naomi digs under the bloodstained jacket and where the incriminated wound must be. There, she confirms Navel’s suspicions: it’s indeed in his flank.
“If my assumption is correct, it shouldn’t have hurt an organ,” she says, a little bit of relief pulsing through her. “We need to get you into a hospital asap, though, you’re bleeding profusely.”
 She grabs back her phone, which she previously slipped into her pocket, and adds the information on a fourth wounded. She gives more information on their location and the circumstances, merely forgetting to mention this is all because of Delphi’s doings and their smothered shady pasts, and stays on the line, putting the phone in speaker mode so she doesn’t miss crucial information.
“You should go, Dr Kimishima,” Navel whispers, eyes getting glassy and unfocused, the speed at which this happens prompting her to check the wound again. The blood has spread even further, making the fabric stick to the wound. “Don’t… let them catch up to you.”
“You’re an idiot if you think I’m leaving you for dead. Plus, I’d rather have to search for amnesty again than get pursued for not helping someone in critical need.”
It’s the pragmatic way to say she’d never handle having his blood on her hands and his death on her conscience. He, however, doesn’t reply, letting uncomfortable silence install itself as they wait for assistance to arrive.
 When they do, the sirens’ shrills muffle Navel’s breathing, lights almost covering the blood stains on his suit and her fingers, slipping under her nails, drying out already.
It could, however, never erase the image from her mind.
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Naomi waits in this bedroom, all alone and in silence, for a little while. She doesn’t know how long exactly (probably around half an hour, although it feels like more than that), all she knows is that the chair she’s sitting on isn’t very comfortable and that she needs to remember when to pick Alyssa from school; two things that, for the moment being, don’t matter much.
The weather is beautiful, today. Even earlier, when they were outside, there was a gentle breeze blowing through their hair. She merely forgot about it due to thinking about literally anything else under the sun, mostly her colleague whom she found out wasn’t just randomly hit during the kerfuffle. To be fair, she should’ve guessed that was what had happened when she suddenly found herself on the ground rather than standing, but…
 She suddenly hears Little Guy stirring and, finally, opening an eye. His injuries were fortunately not as grievous as she was afraid they’d be, even if he’s clearly landed himself for at least a week in the hospital. What an idiot.
“Doc… Doctor Kimishima…?”
“Go back to sleep, Little Guy, you still sound like you’ve pulled a week-long all-nighter.”
As if obeying her (but most likely because losing this much blood tends to leave you weak, and his corpulence isn’t exactly one that’d take kindly to blood loss), his eyelids flutter; but he doesn’t go back to sleep. At least, not yet.
 “Are you okay…?” He asks, voice recovering some clarity, even if it’s unlike his usual swagger.
“I’m pretty sure I should be the one asking you that, you know; but I’m okay. Better off than you, that’s for sure.”
He chuckles once before groaning in pain.
“Urgh, I forgot how sore post-surgery was…”
“You’ll get used to it. Believe me, I know.”
“I’m sure you do, Dr Kimishima.”
 She drops the playful banter for something else altogether.
“Oh, and, Little Guy?”
“Yes…?”
“Never do that again. I don’t want to see you covered in your own blood again.”
His face, which is slowly regaining more colour, distorts a little.
“Even if…”
“Even if it means saving my life.”
He looks aside, in silence. She guesses he’s unable to honestly give her the answer she wants to hear, so he instead prefers not to say anything. Well, that’s something she expected would happen: people have told her he was wrapped around her little finger. Too bad that this man got infatuated with someone like her whom death and misfortune follow her every step. He doesn’t seem to mind, though, considering the number of close calls he found himself in when he was by her side. You sometimes have to wonder what other people even think…
“I’ll… I’ll try,” he eventually replies.
 Naomi can’t stay upset about it forever, especially when she sees how dishevelled and vulnerable he looks with his hair askew, dark rings under his eyes and hospital gown, so far from the sharply-dressed bachelor she’s come to appreciate.
“Good. Just be careful and we’ll be clear.”
“Sure thing, ma’am.”
As long as he doesn’t mind being so close to death, she’ll make sure he doesn’t meet it.
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hyliangrace-a · 4 years
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oh, i ended up spending so much time on this, but - it’s done ! it’s far from perfect but i’m pretty satisfied that there’s a visual guide to my idea of hyrule, post-seven years war. & now, god help you all, i’m gonna talk about it lmao. click here if you want to see a full-sized version of the map, but i’m also gonna put it under the cut in this post with the original map for comparison, & go on for a bit about how hyrule has, in my interpretation, changed under zelda’s rule.
( this gets long. like, really long. like, over 4,500 words long. read at your own risk. i’d say i’m sorry, but i’m really not. & fuck drawing water features forever. )
first thing’s first - the map !
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( apologies for the giant watermark underneath it all but i’ve had my shit stolen before & i’m not enthused at the idea of having it happen again. clicking it open in a new tab should make it bigger if the link above doesn’t work. )
so, it’s slightly bigger than the original map which is featured in the game, haha. here’s a comparison of the two, actually, with my map over the top of the original so you can see what’s been changed or added & where. i’ll talk about what got added & why in a bit, i want to speak just about the actual map, first.
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i did my best to keep the main locations of hyrule as specified in the game in the same place, & i think did an okay job, tbh ! my biggest nitpick was just how many dang cliffs & rockfaces there are on the original map. i know they serve a purpose in-game, which is completely fair, but they limited worldbuilding a little by making the map so small, so i took some liberties. not with every cliff, of course - i kept some in the southwest to keep the border between gerudo valley & hyrule field intact, & kept the ridge the river runs through - partly for the sake of continuity, & partly because i’ve always loved the fact that falling into the river in the valley washes you down to the lake. expanding them into a new area was fun, too, because at least then they go somewhere, rather than just locking you in to a certain place.
my main point of contention, to be honest, was the giant rockface in south hyrule field. again, i understand why it was there, but, come on ! so i ended up just doing away with it all, letting it lead a path to two new areas i’d like to work into zelda’s canon. the map just fades out in certain places, too, particularly the gerudo desert, so i ended up expanding that a little more & having it lead into the cliffs above lake hylia - the river already runs from the valley to the lake, so why not have more of the desert lead into the mainland ? the mountains, too, got their range expanded, because they just seem so ... small, in canon, when they aren’t being used specifically as dungeon locations. i’d say the only place on the map i didn’t expand in some way is that little gap between zora’s domain & the kokiri forest - the forest is so hemmed in & the domain is literally inside a mountain, hidden behind a waterfall, so i was happy to just let that be empty space. if you manage to climb over the cliffs surrounding the domain, or break through the treetops in the forest, you get a view of the ocean, & that’s that !
it was fun to look at the maps of the games that came chronologically before this one & see how the position of things in hyrule change, but i’m kind of glad that there was only the three before ocarina of time, because the mountains alone move across the map at their leisure, good god. there was a bit of freedom in it, too, because in zelda’s canon timeline, the gods are going to flood hyrule anyway, so i could make whatever changes i wanted because it’s all gonna end up underwater & unseen in the end - plus, it meant i could add in more mountains to take up empty space on the map, because the hylians have to flee somewhere to escape the flood, & i don’t think the peak of death mountain could hold them all. most of the new locations were inspired by the minish cap, more than any other, so i’m going to start at the top of the map & move down to talk about them.
i always loved royal valley & the royal crypt in the minish cap, to be honest. it was spooky & cute, & i’m surprised it, or a concept like it, hasn’t made much of a comeback in later zelda games. the royal family’s tomb being in kakariko village never bothered me much as a kid ( other than the fact their headstone gets utterly destroyed & you get assaulted by what we can only assume are the zombies of previous hylian rulers ??? & then it’s just left open for anyone to stumble in & possibly loot slash get murdered by said zombies ??? actually, y’know what, this bothers me a lot more as an adult, what the fuck - ) but kakariko was a village founded by the sheikah, originally for the sheikah, so i did always find it a little strange that at some point, a ruler of hyrule went ❛ that’s cool, you do you, but make space for us in your graveyard. ❜ i know the history between the hylian royal family & the sheikah is implied to be murky ( thank you, shadow temple ) but that’s a meta for another day, so i’m not gonna go into too much detail, but it’s still something that sticks out as strange to me. call it the sheikah continuing to guard the royal family in death or whatever, but, hm. weird. anyway !
the point is, after the seven years war ends, zelda decides that what originally belonged to the sheikah should be given back to the sheikah. kakariko village was opened up to non-sheikah by impa prior to the rise of ganondorf, & that’s her perogative & not something zelda would ever dream of interfering with, but that applies to the living, & those who die within the village deserve to be buried in the same place. it takes time to get around to the rebuilding of hyrule castle & its’ town, but when it’s time to plan for it, zelda chooses to utilize the abandoned valley which lies behind the castle as the new home for the royal crypt, but not solely for that ! she establishes & sponsors a university on behalf of the royal family, with special consideration going to the preservation of hylian history ( a lot was lost in the hyrulean civil war prior to her birth, nevermind the seven year war following that so quickly, & we can see in other zelda games, such as twilight princess & breath of the wild, historical preservation within hyrule is ... terrible, to say the least. of course, it will all be washed away when the goddesses flood hyrule, but fuck, at least she tries. ) the university also covers a range of other subjects, but history is the one zelda takes an active interest in, & she spends a lot of time with scholars who specialize in it. the royal crypt lies at the very back of the valley, the university being closer to the castle, & then ... watch this space ! i’m likely to add more things to areas around the map in the future.
hyrule castle & hyrule castle town i’ve left in the same spots, pretty much - i imagine the castle is rebuilt to be something like the one we see at the bottom of the ocean in wind waker, but i intend to put my own spin on that, too. zelda wouldn’t be focused too much on getting a castle up agaiin ( i’ve mentioned in a thread before that two years post-ganondorf, she is still sheltering at impa’s house in kakariko village, as rebuilding for the civilians is her main priority, & whilst i haven’t figured out exactly how long that lasts for, it’s a safe bet to say a good few years ) & she definitely wouldn’t want to be living anywhere especially y’know, grandiose & opulent, if her people were still struggling day to day. the castle town bounces back better than ever, expanding a little more to the left over time, but that’s a gradual thing. no real change except a distinct lack of redeads, which is always a bonus !
death mountain & its immediate surroundings, i was happy to leave as they are - it’s marginally wonky in place compared to the original map but it’s not a severe drift from canon, so lets just pretend it sits a little more to the left, shhh. it’s a volcano built into a mountain with a network of caves both inside & adjacent to it, plus a place of worship built into the heart of it, & you can’t really go wrong with that, so i focused on all that empty space beyond them left on the map. minish cap came in clutch again, because by fuck, did they have a mountain range, so i ended up dipping in to it for the names of this one. the gorons are clustered at the forefront of the mountain because everything beyond their city has been mined to the absolute death by those who came before for its resources, & abandoned by the same in turn, but they still send patrols to make sure it’s fine. 
there’s a story of how, before the gorons settled into the mountain, a man of great strength climbed the mountain alone to make his home within it - he faced eruptions from a then-hostile death mountain, fought off the creatures who called the range home & weren’t fond of sharing, & forged on to what was said to be the edge of hyrule itself. it wasn’t, not quite, but it was far enough away from the central provinces of the kingdom that the mountains became capped with snow, contrasting the temperate mountains to the west. the story goes that the adventurer decided to call the furthest reaches of the mountain home, & singlehandedly carved out what would become the beginning of the mines, in order to gather materials for his forge. it’s been disputed whether said man was hylian or goron, as the biggoron family claim lineage from him, but the mountains he once inhabited are named for him now, & are one of the places zelda hid whilst on the run & masquerading as sheik - despite the extreme temperatures playing havoc with her & nearly killing her, it’s one of the harder to reach spots in hyrule, so it provided a measure of safety that other places could not. melari’s hold lies in the northeast, but the cold spot on the mountain travels further south than would be expected, resulting in a cold spot - the ice cavern - to the north of zora’s domain.
real quick, fuck zora’s domain. there was no way to make the water feature coming from here look decent, or properly portray the types of cliffs it’s surrounded by, so please don’t judge it too harshly. at the end of ocarina of time, zora’s domain is still said to be frozen, but recovering from the curse ganondorf placed on it, which, great ! i’m gonna say, i could be completely off here in how it works, but i wanted to change things up a little, so if i am, i don’t mind that much. i like a bit of artistic license. also, if we can have literal fish people, a genderless species made of rock, children who don’t grow up in a magical forest which horrifically warps those who don’t belong, & a giant fucking overworld field where the skeletons of what look like fucking children come out to fight you at night ? i’m okay with this reckoning being off a little.
so, eventually, zora’s domain unfreezes. i personally imagine, as ganondorf’s power ebbed from hyrule, that the process started slow, until one day, it wasn’t. it’s said that zora’s fountain is the source of all water in hyrule, with the domain lying under the mountain it rests on top of, & a few secret passageways here & there, which is fine, usually - the fountain never froze, just the domain beneath it. that becomes a problem, though, when the magical freeze put in place by ganondorf wears off, & the excess water from the melt ends up flooding the domain. not a problem from those who live within it, with the zora being essentially amphibian in nature, but when that excess water begins seeping out into the fountain, through cracks in the mountain, through the entrance granted to those affiliated with the royal family ? that all goes over the fountain, down the sleepless waterfall, through the river, & that river completely bursts its banks. the water level of the river rises significantly, washing away much of the path previously taken by those who wished to go to the domain on foot, causing minor flooding in hyrule field as it travels downstream, & resulting in the waters of lake hylia rising when the overflow reaches it, hence the lake being larger in my version of the map. the rebuilding of a path to zora’s domain ends up becoming one of the earliest projects zelda undertakes as queen but it’s a bit of a logistical nightmare for a while, considering that, with princess ruto ascended as a sage, zora’s domain is now in a succession crisis. does it have much bearing on zelda’s life ? not especially, but i thought it was a nice bit of worldbuilding, so here it is.
kokiri forest, the lost woods, & everything within doesn’t change much. with the dark magic vanquished from the forest, & the great deku sprout able to thrive, the forest continues to grow, & overgrow. it’s still dangerous to outsiders to go within, still dangerous for anyone to enter the lost woods without a fairy companion to guide them & save them from a grim fate, but the children of the forest do grow somewhat braver about stepping out from their home to see the rest of hyrule. it never lasts long - not all of the kokiri are as brave as link was, after all, & hyrule is so vast compared to what they’re used to - but it sparks their curiosity & their desire to explore hyrule which eventually trickles down to the wandering koroks.
the area to the south / southwest of the kokiri forest is entirely my invention. as i said, in-game, it’s just cliffs to hem you in & prevent you from breaking the boundaries of the world, but there’s none of that in roleplaying, so i just … did away with them entirely. part of this is lake hylia not being as hemmed in by these walls as it is in-game, opening up into a new river & streams which travel through the south & southeast. crossing this river leads to three paths - take middle path, & you may find yourself in what’s known as the rito village. now, i’ll say here, i know that the rito don’t technically appear in hyrule until after the great flood, when the zoras somehow sprout wings, but nintendo’s strange decisions don’t change the fact that there are many wonderful people in the zelda rpc who play rito characters with crossover verses that let them interact with those who play characters in other parts of the timeline. in order to better facilitate interactions with these roleplayers, i decided fuck it, rito village in ocarina of time. canon can be easily bent. if, however, i’m writing with someone who wants to adhere to strict canon, then it’s just other hylians who live within the village, & rito is just the name chosen for the village, with no connection to the as-of-yet-unevolved race, just a nice little coincidence. regardless of who lives in it, though, the village & its name are fixed here in a southern woodland, with the village nestled amongst the hills within.
cross the bridge to the south & take the third branch in the path, you’ll find yourself inside the bremen woods. i honestly haven’t got much to say about the bremen woods here, but it’s not because i don’t have ideas for it - i have another headcanon brewing concerning myths, fables & fairy tales within hyrule, because … i am just that type of nerd. about eighty percent of my blogs before this one involved fairy tale characters in some way. it is, as the kids say, extremely my shit, & i’d like to tie the bremen woods into that, so i’m going to save what i have to say for that headcanon, but don’t worry. it’ll probably be a lot smaller than this one. ( thank god, i hear you say. i know, i know. i’m still not sorry. )
cross the bridge, then, & take the first branch in the path, & you better have a sword with you. the castor wilds are a lawless place, which is fitting for the corner of the world where the last remnants of ganondorf’s forces lie. any that weren’t killed during the restoration of the kingdom were beaten back to the edge of the world, & it’s not a friendly place. the last of the monsters shelter in a run-down settlement known as dragmire’s hold, the last place where those who sympathize with the king of evil can speak freely, & it’s murder to get to. the entrance to the wilds is a marshy swamp, thanks to the run-off of lake hylia, but if you manage to get through the mire, the land begins to dry out until you reach the hold, where the earth struggles to bear fruit & it seems the grass refuses to grow. it is, in a few words, fucking grim, & as a result, the go-to place for banishments within the kingdom. zelda isn’t a fan of harsh punishments, but she’s no fool, not anymore, & she won’t abide those who plot to throw the kingdom back into chaos, be it in service of ganondorf, or their own selfish natures. it’s rare that anyone actually finds themselves wandering the castor wilds, unless they actively choose to adventure there, but it is a very good threat, considering its reputation as the land where the devils live.
jumping across the map entirely, we come to the cliffs of coroa to the left of lake hylia. another spot on the map which is notorious for being hard to reach, the cliffs are an inviting challenge to those who want to boast of their climbing skills & durability. if getting up the cliffs doesn’t kill you ( & there is a very real possibility that it will, especially if you fall, ‘cause this water ain’t soft ) the journey down might do it instead, & that’s if you survive your trip at the top. there has been rumours of a great treasure hidden away in the cliffs for years, though the debate on what it might be was pretty intense, if you got into it. for a time, some thought the legendary blade rested within the cliffs, & only those who could brave the rockface would be able to lay a hand on it; others argued that it contained more mundane, but still desirable, treasures, such as a great haul from a band of thieves, left behind when they were hunted down by the crown, growing only more valuable by the minute. some, with sense, said that the only thing atop the cliffs was certain doom for the morons who tried to make their way up them. the truth ? there’s nothing up there. sometimes, cliffs are just cliffs, & those who try to scale the ones facing lake hylia truly are fools. the gerudo people, however, had the right idea of how to get to them.
again, another aspect of canon i was happy to leave as it was. the gerudo desert is a vast, harsh swathe of land, continuously assailed by sandstorms, bordered to the north by what is called ❛ the great sand sea ❜ & to the south by the haunted wasteland, & it’s not hyperbole. spirit guides appear to those who seek the temple of the goddess of the sand, but very few have ever made it through the wasteland if they enter in pursuit of something else. one of the few who did was the gerudo heroine, ashai. a well respected warrior amongst them, ashai was the younger sister to the exalted rishika, the chief of the gerudo at the time, & one of the first to vow to conquer the wasteland & see what lay beyond the storm. though her sister cautioned against it, as tales of people becoming lost in the wasteland were not uncommon, ashai was a headstrong young woman, & she could not be swayed. she took with her a party of twelve, & in time, three returned to tell their story. ashai had forged a path through the ever-shifting sands & left it well enough marked that her companions were able to find their way back. it’s said that some succumbed to madness during the journey, tormented by the ghosts of the wasteland, whilst others fell ill whilst they traveled, choking on the sand which gathered in their lungs. seven of them made it through the wasteland to the valley which lay beyond, but ashai had grown sick during the crossing, & knew she would not make it back. instead, she spent the time she had left exploring the valley, & found a way through it to the peak of the cliffs of coroa. the legend says that is there she died, watching the sun rise atop the cliffs, speaking only of her sister, & her companions laid her to rest within the valley, which her sister then named in honour of her. whilst the gerudo are happy to let those who have proven themselves attempt the journey to the desert colossus, no outsiders are permitted to walk the valley of ashai, where a shrine was built for its namesake - it is considered sacred to them, & the journey to pay respects to ashai is now part of the trial given to those who wish to become chief of the gerudo, should the bloodline of the previous chief die.
that covers just about all the main areas & landmarks of hyrule, i think, so to move on to the last thing, the various settlements, villages, hamlets you see across the map. hyrule is a big place. yes, quite a few of the races are localized to certain areas, & yes, it’s entirely plausible the hyrulean civil war could have decimated the population, with the seven years war exacerbating that problem, but hyrule field just looked so … empty, once everything else was finished. so, rather than stick to a number of locales i can count on one hand, i threw a few more settlements across the map to try & make hyrule feel more like a real kingdom. not to breath of the wild’s extent, of course, but just something a little more than what was given. all those who survived the fall of hyrule castle town apparently fled to become refugees in kakariko village, which was opened to all by impa, which is fair, but i imagine as the world returned to something close to normality, & families started growing again, the village would quickly find itself overwhelmed. as queen, zelda would make it a priority to make sure none of her subjects go homeless - she knows all too well that struggle - & so she would begin a program to make sure there was enough villages or townships for every one of her subjects. those who volunteered would be given a set amount of money & plots of land across hyrule to build a home, which zelda would then personally visit to inspect, to make sure her people were thriving.
there’s little to say in detail about them all as of right now, as i’m still fleshing them out, but i have a few basic ideas. most of the settlements were named after the first to attach themselves to the project, but the names have the potential to evolve over time. they certainly won’t retain the hamlet / settlement status, that’s for sure. the offer wasn’t restricted to hylians, either - any other race in the land was free to join, though only a small number of gerudo accepted it, the others preferring to stay in their homes & travel as they need. ciela’s settlement was the one spearheaded by the gerudo who accepted zelda’s offer, hence its proximity to the valley. a lot of young men volunteered to go to this settlement, but zelda was happy to let ciela make her own call, & many were knocked back - only those with what ciela deemed viable skills were allowed in, & still, it’s very much a female dominated settlement, but it is thriving under her leadership, & blossoms into a successful village as time goes on. lon lon ranch is, well, lon lon ranch. with funding from the crown, talon was able to take on more staff & expand it at his leisure, but it is one of the very few places in hyrule which has stayed constant over time, & he was quite content to keep it that way, & zelda content with his decision. 
to the south of lon lon ranch lies damia village, the largest of all the settlements from its inception. led by a fearless young man who gave his name to the village, it is a hub of activity which could rival hyrule castle town. with damia came many like-minded people, all eager to forge their own path in the world & prove themselves as he had, as he had been part of the group which volunteered to help beat back the remnants of ganondorf’s forces. many of the families within damia village are the families of soldiers who work at the castle & it has gained a reputation for being a village full of strong, capable, trustworthy people. arborwood, which lies further to the south in a more rural location, is an outlier in that the one who volunteered to lead in this settlement didn’t wish to put their name to it - they didn’t want glory, just a place to call home where they could finally live in peace. arborwood is an agriculturally focused village, filled with farmers & those who possess green thumbs. a lot of trade is done between arborwood & all the other villages - everyone in hyrule became proficient at growing & hunting their own food in the past thirty years, as was necessary to survive, but it’s nice to have a place to get food from which specializes in high quality meat & crops. why hunt rabbits, when arborwood can provide venison ? 
last but not least, lynna’s hamlet, which settled at lake hylia at the request of the owner of the lakeside laboratory. as he was getting on in years, he wished to find someone to continue his work, & so specifically requested that any like-minded hylians settle close to the lake so that he could impart his wisdom & let them take over. he got quite a few more people volunteering than he bargained for, be they scientifically inclined, interested in cataloguing the history of lake hylia, or just desirous of a change in scenery. the smallest of the new settlements, lynna’s hamlet never truly flourished the way others did, but the buildings were never empty - as time went on & people began to move elsewhere, it became a popular spot for those who traveled the land to rest at when they came to the lake, with a very successful inn eventually being run by the lakeside, its doors open to any who wished to visit.
it’s not a lot of worldbuilding when it all comes down to it, compared to other things, but this is something that i’ve wanted to do for a long time. as i’ve mentioned in the section regarding the bremen woods, more headcanons are likely to follow regarding places on the map & how they change & evolve as time passes during zelda’s rule, but for now, there’s this ! something which makes hyrule feel less empty than what it was before, whilst still respecting canon, somewhat which was the goal all along. if you’ve made it this far, holy shit, go outside & feel the sun on your face. it’s been eighty-four years - but i can’t thank you enough for reading ! at least next time, the headcanon won’t be so long. i hope.
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