#looking back at my life since ive had you

[zombiigrll]

LONELY ⋆｡°✩ carl grimes x reader .ᐟ WORD COUNT .ᐟ ⭑ 1061 ꩜ .ᐟ WARNINGS ⭑ angst to fluff, swearing, depressed/traumatized reader, reader is glenn and maggies adoptive child, intended lowercase, the walking dead 7x1 spoilers, death mentions, lack of eating, suicidal thoughts, use of y/n .ᐟ A/N .ᐟ ⭑ hi! this is my first time writing and posting anything on tumblr so im sorry if its not the best </3 ive never really done oneshots before either so i dont really know what im doing LMAO hope you still enjoy!

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it was supposed to be an easy run. get maggie to the hilltop and get her help, that's all it was supposed to be. but, of course, nothing could ever be that easy. not for you. the last thing you expected to see, however, was your father-figure getting his skull beaten in, and almost having to witness your boyfriend getting his arm chopped off. you were distressed. you couldn't function properly. you had already lost your family once before at the beginning of the outbreak, and all of those same feelings came back after losing glenn. he had been there for you since the start, saving you from dying with your family. and now he was gone and there was nothing you could do.

you had fallen into a deep depression, similar to the one you had before. you locked yourself in your room, not eating, not drinking, occasionally getting up to use the restroom, but other than that, you were bedridden. you hadn't even changed your clothes from that night. the clothes that were stained in glenns blood. hell, even his blood remained dried across your face. you felt as lonely as ever, but at the same time, you knew you weren't. because every single day you heard knocks at your door. it was carl.

"y/n, please. just open the door. i can help you." he desperately spoke from the other side of the door.

you felt like shit for making him continue to come to your door everyday just for you to stubbornly remain in your room, but it felt like nothing mattered anyways. eventually, he'd give up, right? that's what you thought. "go away." you mumbled just loud enough for him to hear. "just open the door. please." he begged again. he understood your struggles. he was aware of why you were acting this way, and he couldn't blame you. he knew how it felt to lose family members and people close to him. unfortunately enough for him, you stayed where you were, not opening the door for him yet again. but after almost a week had passed, he began getting more worried. he begged at your door for you to open it, he tried opening it himself but you had locked the door, blocking it as well so no one could enter. you didn't care. you were isolating yourself, barely sleeping. the only times you slept were when you cried so hard you fell asleep. you felt miserable. you were giving up on everything, hoping one day it'd all just end and you wouldn't have to worry anymore. you wouldn't have to worry about anyone else dying, because you'd be with them. no more funerals, no more fighting for your life... you laid awake on your bed, tears silently falling from your eyes as you stared blankly at your ceiling, those terrible thoughts swirling through your brain. but this night was different. you had opened your window, which carl took as the perfect opportunity. he was tired of not being able to help you due to your stubbornness, so he decided to crawl through your window. *thump!*

you quickly jolted up at the sound, staring at carl who was slowly sitting back up after not-so-gracefully falling into your room. he grabbed his hat and placed it back on top of his head before looking over at you. you stared at him with tears glazing over your eyes, your face scrunching up as you brought a hand to your mouth. "i..." you were speechless. your emotions got the better of you and you began sobbing. he quickly walked over to you, cupping your face with his hands as he looked down at you sympathetically. "don't cry..." he softly spoke, but his eyes quickly noticed the dried blood that was still on your face. "y/n..." "i-i'm s.. sorry." you sobbed, averting your eyes as you crossed your arms around your waist. he shook his head as he softly acknowledged your beat-up appearance, moving your arms from covering your waist as he pulled you in for a big hug. "don't be sorry."

you quickly returned the hug, squeezing him tightly as you sobbed into his chest. he broke from the hug, looking back down at you and your bloodstained clothes. "let's go get you cleaned up, yeah?"

you silently nodded. he helped you stand up and you almost fell over, but he quickly caught you. "...let's get you something to eat, too." ... the two of your were now in the bathroom. he helped you sit down on the seat of the toilet before grabbing a rag, getting it wet before walking back over to you. "this is gonna be really cold." he smiled warmly, slowly bringing the rag up to your face and wiping the blood off. you flinched slightly at the touch. as he's cleaning your face, his face turns a bit perplexed. "why... why didn't you open the door?"

you avert your eyes to the ground as you begin messing with your hands. "i just wanted to be alone, i don't know." carl looks at you with a bit of a somber gaze before continuing to clean you up. "i'm sorry for breaking in. i was worried about you. just... please, don't do that again. if you ever need help, i'm here. you know that, right?" "i know..." you looked up at him. "i didn't want you to see me like this. i..." you began tearing up again as you spoke. he quickly sets the rag down and puts both his hands on your cheeks, using his thumbs to wipe away your tears. "i know, i know. it's okay." shortly after, he pulled you in for a quick kiss, his hands remaining on your face as he pulled away. he uses one of his hands to wipe away the stray strands of hair over your face, tucking them behind your ear. "you're so pretty. you know that, right?" he smiled warmly. "i love you." you laughed with a smile, a tear rolling down your cheek. "i love you, too." "let's go get you some new clothes, okay? and some food. i'll make you whatever you want." carl asks, grabbing both your hands. you nod, standing up in sync with him as you followed him back to the room. god, you were so lucky to have him. ─────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────────

#the walking dead #carl grimes #twd #carl grimes x reader #carl x reader #carl grimes one shot #twd x reader #twd imagine #the walking dead oneshot #the walking dead imagine #twd fluff #twd angst #fluff #angst #carl grimes x y/n #carl x y/n

[its-in-the-woods]

Chapter six (Final for now), Life's Too Short

Chapter one , two, three, four, five, <- if you missed it.

Cooper howard/The Ghoul x Lucy Maclean

Post end of season 1

No beta.. I tried to edit 🫠

Leaving it here from now.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️

This is fluffy and a lot of smut. Biting, riding, finger fucking, leaving marks, screaming.. it goes on. V and P. Deviates from canon clearly.

🚨+18 only - MDN🚨

Slow burn is over!

Please be nice this is my first fic in almost a decade 🫣

Will eventually post on AO3 once I can get access... or where suggested 🤷🏻‍♂️ Like please tell me I am old and don't know things anymore.

Getting out of the Deathclaw’s territory proved to be tricky. Particularly with a Brahma, the beast was not really happy about being dragged along. There was also the Deathclaw’s head strapped to it. Making sure it got water and something sort of like food was difficult. It made the traveling slow.  By the time they got to the next outpost, Lucy was out of water and Cooper was dangerously low on chems. They had gotten a lot of looks as they walked through the big pieced-together gates. Most went back to whatever they were doing. But some stared. Lucy made sure to keep herself close to the Ghoul. They hadn’t really discussed anything since the warehouse, much too busy trying not to die. But something had changed, the leather-cladded man didn’t scoff when she ran into him. Didn’t mind when she snuggled up to keep warm overnight. The idea of a bed and not being hunted by giant damn monsters sounded amazing. 

The head of the Deathclaw that Lucy had blown up hit the front desk of the outpost hotel. Well if you could call the two-story pieced together building that. The small man looked at the head for a moment, then back at the two of them. 

“I am guessing you want a room?” He raised his eyebrows at the two, his glasses perched on the end of his nose. 

Cooper also grabbed a paper from beside the hotel manager's head and slammed it down beside the head. “Also take the caps for its bounty, and where we could offload a Brahma.”

“Well,” The man looked up over his glasses at Cooper. “The bounty is for the full body of the Deathclaw, and the beast can go to the farm east of the town.”

Cooper leaned closer to the little man. “Want me to ‘ive yah directions to the thing? Or should I walk yah over to the corpse ‘yself?” 

The man had tried to lean away from the Ghoul but he had followed him. Making sure his face was within the inches of the man. Lucy bit her lip, something about watching him take charge did-. Well, it made things get hotter in the room. 

The man stammered, “Let me get my manager and we will sort your caps.” 

Cooper stood up and gestured dismissively at the small man, as he scuttled away. Coop leaned against the desk as Lucy watched the door hand on her pistol. The man came back looking flustered and plopped the bag of caps onto the desk along with the room key. Cooper snatched it up, tipping his hat at the man. 

They walked back into the town, Lucy bartered some of her bits and bobs with a merchant getting herself some radaway and a few stimpaks. As well as some better-fitting clothes, and a new poncho. Then she and the Ghoul walked a little ways outside the camp to trade the Brahma. The farm had looked a little flustered but offered to give them a good supply of dried foods and moonshine. They didn’t want to owe Ghoul but a Brahma was something sorely needed. Cooper had accepted the offer as he was not interested in hauling the animal around. 

Then they were back in town with all the eyes on them. Cooper had disappeared into a particularly shady spot. Dogmeat standing guard in the dingy alley. She made sure to keep her wits about her. The place wasn’t bustling but it wasn’t quiet either. Women sneered at her muttering about Ghoulfuckers. It made her stomach flip again. Was it that obvious? After being on the road for weeks, being beaten to shit by various creatures. She figured she’d had to have started to blend in a little. She looked around again. A couple more men had walked out to look at her. She moved closer to the alleyway entrance, her finger on the pistol. 

“Come on Coop, get the chems.” She muttered her hands mindlessly running over Dogmeats soft fur. 

The longer she stood out there the more people she saw looking at her. She licked her lips, they had become permanently chapped at this point. Maybe they'd be callous over time, like the rest of her. The wounds in her back and thigh still ached. The mark on her shoulder had healed, for the most part, but it still aches if she overused it. A hand touched her hip. She jumped hands on her pistol as she turned Cooper’s crooked grin greeting her. Her shoulders sagged as she leaned against him. 

“Come on Vualtie, let's go see what accommodations we got.” He guided her back toward the hotel.

***

Coop locked the door behind them as they got into the room. It was more of a closet with a somewhat functional toilet and standing shower. But at least they weren’t hiding from any deathclaws tonight. Maybe some pissed-off townsfolk but they’d take that as they came. Right now his eyes were on her. He had gotten a nice stash of Chems from the backdoor pharmacy, they had water and some decent food. As far as wastelanding went they were better off than most. Dogmeat had already settled into the bathroom closest to the door. 

Lucy had placed all their weapons within reach and laid out some food. She had even drunk a good slurp of water, and they could get more too. 

“What do you feel like? They said this was mole jerky, but I don’t know how reputable the vendor was. Plus I haven’t seen a mole that wasn’t glowing in a long time.” Lucy rambled, waving the offending jerky in the air. 

“Not really feeling like eatin’ food,” Cooper stated licking his lips. 

Lucy turned her brows furrowed, she looked up at him. “Oh. Well.” She looked back down at the food and then back up at him. He could see her piecing it together. 

“Oh. Oh. Do you mean?” Lucy blushed and looked down at her feet. 

“Don’t get bashful on me, killer. You nearly blew me up with a grenade and dragged me across the desert barefoot. Stripped me down to my unmentionable and pulled out a damn piece of bone out of my chest. You don’t get to play coy with me anymore.” He stated plainly as he walked towards her, his hand tilting her chin up so he could look at those big doe eyes. 

Lucy licked her lips looking up at him. He didn’t know what she saw in him but whatever it was had her melting in his leathery hands. 

He couldn’t fuckin take it anymore his free hand grabbed at her hips pulling her into him. His mouth clashed against hers as he kissed her. Not gentle like the first time, or even the second time. No, this was hungry. The months of being together, watching her move and change. Her lying on the floor of that fuckin warehouse. No, not anymore. He wanted her and he wanted her now. He wanted her more than he had wanted anyone in two centuries. 

She started pulling at his duster fingers, shaking as she pushed the leather off of him. He grabbed the hem of her shirt and dragged it up off of her. She untucked his shirt and pulled it up over his head. Hat falling onto the ground behind them. Lucy giggled and snatched the hat placing it onto her head, before leaning back into kissing him. She pushed him down onto the mattress sliding herself onto his lap. He groaned as she ground her hips down onto his crotch. He grabbed her hips rocking up against her, eyes rolling back in her head as she felt him press. 

He grabbed one of her breasts in his hand rubbing against the smooth flesh there, fingertips rolling nipples that had Lucy biting her hand trying not to cry out. Cooper batted her hand away. 

“No, no, I want everyone to hear you.” He hissed, pulling her down so he could bite at the top of her breast. 

A small cry squeaked out as he left an indent on her skin. She ran her hands over his head holding it against her skin. He rolled her so he was on top, leaving a trail of fresh bite marks that had the Vaultie rolling underneath him.

His hands trailing along the edge of her pants, she tried to wiggle free of her pants but he held her firm. Licking and kissing along the top edge. Tomorrow if her shirt rode up everyone would see the marks. He wanted them to see the marks. To know that her screams came from him. He bit hard right below her navel and she bucked 

“Oh, Oh, dang it that hurt.” Lucy groaned and pushed his head down. 

“Come on darlin’ tell me whatcha want.” Ghoul grabbed at the edge of her pants pulling them slowly down.

“Just-” Her voice cracked.

“Come on. Say it.” He growled, pulling them a little further down. Her hips moving and wiggling trying to get him to take them off.

“I want you to lick me.” She swallowed looking down at him eyes so dark 

The man grinned, yanking her pants down. Leaving her underwear on, he pushes his shoulder in between her knees pressing his face against her. Breathing her in, she smells so good. 

Lucy lets out gasp her knees pushing against the side of his head as her ankles lock behind his head. His tongue flicked out to go over the thin fabric. 

“Come on, tell me. Tell me what you want me to do.” 

Lucy let out a few strangled sounds as her hands grasped for purchase. He sucked at the wetness coming out through the underwear. 

“Say it.” 

“Ohmy, if you-” She choked again as he kept sucking. “Please- ughn- I want to feel your tongue in me please.” 

“Good girl,” He grinned using a finger to push the thin fabric aside he leaned in and ran his tongue along her. She tasted so good, he groaned and sucked on her lips. Before sliding his tongue down using his fingers to separate her folds, she was dripping as licked in there. Her fingers gripped the sides of his head, as her back arched up pushing him forward. He moved his hands under her ass, lifting her hips towards his face. 

“Oh, don’t stop.” She trembled her body, vibrating as he licked inside of her. 

He pulled his head away licking at his tattered lips and sitting back to admire her. Lucy’s legs trembled as he pulled her underwear off, leaning in to nip at her thighs. She cried out as he left a line of marks up where her thigh and hips met. 

Lucy pushed herself up, staring at him, her eyes lidded, lips red and swollen. “If you don’t-”

“Don’t what?” Cooper hummed, taking his fingers to run up and down between her lips.

Her eyes rolled and she shuttered,” Torturing me,” Her words were stuttered and hardy formed as a finger sunk into the wetness. 

“Not torturing you,” He hushed, “No gulper bait here.”

She gasped as he pushed back and up, hitting a soft spongy spot that made her toes clench.

“Motherfucker,” Lucy gasped as her hips started to push down onto his finger.

The Ghoul leaned forward sucking at her clit as he pushed another finger in slowly. Purposefully dragging it out, making her keen and grabbed at the bed as he scissored and edged her. He watched her for a moment more before he began to a steady pace the wet sounds filling the tiny room. Her hips rolling with him, insides sucking him further in and squeezing tightly.

“That’s it, let it go.” He murmured licking and sucking against her clit. 

Her legs began to shake as her fluids gushed forward as his fingers kept going until she was trying to push him away. 

—

Lucy was a puddle, and there was actually a puddle under her ass at the moment. The damn man between her legs was going to kill her. Nothing in her very small sexual history had felt like that.

Cooper rested his bald head against her thigh as he lazily made circles around the bruises. Then he was moving before she had time to recuperate, his pants clattering to the floor as he snatched that hat off her head. 

“Think this belongs to me, little lady.” He grinned down at her, gold eyes almost black as he pushed his hips forward against her. 

Reaching up she pulled him down on top of her, she was so overstimulated but the hard line of his cock against her was making her want more.  Damnit if she didn’t want it right now. She rolled her hips up and kissed along his jaw. She could taste herself on him, they tasted so good together. 

“Fuck me,” She whispered into his ear taking the lob into her mouth, her hand found away between them fingers running over his hard length. 

“Come again,” He grinned and sucked at a new mark along her neck. 

Her toes curled as she stroked him, fingers pushing at the slit on top making his hips stuttered forward. 

“Fuck me, Cooper,” She said into his ear as her hand tried to get him where she wanted him to be.

He leaned back looking down at her like he had never seen her before, as if he was trying to memorize her features. Then he pushed his way in, and both their mouths opened slightly. The girth made her inside ache as he seated himself as deep as he could go. They stretched a hot fire that made her inside shiver. 

“Fuck, you are so beautiful.” He groaned and began to pull out, Lucy immediately wrapped her legs around his hips trying to get him pushed back in. 

“Nuh-uh,” He grinned as he grabbed her legs and bent her in half. He slid back out and then slammed himself back in making Lucy see stars as he bottomed out. “I am in control here.”

Each word was punctuated with a snap of his hips, Lucy felt like her brain had gone foggy, her mouth hanging open as she pushed back against him. His pace started to increase as he held onto her hips bouncing off of her hips, her breast bouncing. She let her fingers grab at her nipples pulling at them, how was she so close already? Heat spills into her stomach as another orgasm builds up again. 

“I am gonna-” 

He pulled himself out, making her scrambled to try and get him back. The Ghoul placed one large hand on her stomach holding Lucy in place. Cooper grinned from under his hat the tip of his penis sitting right at the entrance. 

“Told you, Princess. I am in control.” 

Lucy growled fighting herself up from under him rolling so that she was on top of him. She grabbed his cock without a second thought and pushed it back in. 

“Oh, oh yes,” Lucy groaned, tipping her head back as she started to move her hips in circles. His hands grabbing at her breast, squeezing, started to move his hips up against her. She tucked her legs a little, hands on his scared stomach pushing herself up and ridding him as he fucked her. 

The heat built as the man’s fingers rubbed at her clit. There was no stopping it now heat uncoiling as her hips moved wet making his dick slip in and out with slick wet sounds. Lucy’s voice came in as she called out his name, her second orgasm making her tremble and bite her lip hard enough that she felt blood. 

Cooper took the opportunity to roll them again, one hand grabbing both of hers and pinning her to the bed. He bit onto her collarbone hard enough to make her wonder if he was going to take a chunk out of her. His hips snapped so quickly as his other hand held her hips close, his eyes rolling close as his own pleasure slipped deep into her. Hips stuttered from overstimulation in jerky motions till he stilled. The Ghoul let go of his bite, a deep mark blooming, his head resting over her pounding heart. His tongue licked out over his lips.

Then he was up, Lucy groaned. Trying to get him to come back, she watched as he walked over to his saddle bag. Muscled body moving swiftly as it dug around for something. She sighed staring up at the ceiling. Her body hurt in many different ways. The marks would be visible for days. Lucy’s fingers came up and felt at the one on her collarbone, clear indents where his teeth had sunk in. Her face flushed realizing that everyone would be able to see that.

The bed dipped and Cooper handed her a bottle, the label was barely readable ‘Rad-x’. Reaching across he also grabbed the flask with water.

“Take two,” He said firmly before getting up again despite her small whines of annoyance. 

She looked the bottle over and uncapped it, taking out two of the pills. They smelled awful, not nearly as awful as some of the bugs she’d eaten. She popped both in and swallowed, they burnt a little but it could have been worse. Sighing she stared at the ceiling, it was stained. Lucy rubbed her face as Cooper came back in with a towel. 

His hand grabbed her ankle and he dragged her to the edge of the bed. She squeaked as he spread her legs and started to clean her. Biting her lip she watched as he carefully wiped her down. Leaning in to kiss the bruises before he tossed the rag into a corner. 

“Thank you,” She giggled, reaching for him, he climbed in dragging her to his chest.

“Anything for you. Life's too short."

I may come back to this, I haven't decided yet. But I like it where it is fo now.  

Let me know! Thanks for reading. More to come <3

#cooper howard x lucy maclean #cooper x lucy #fallout #fanfic #the ghoul #ghoulcy #fallout tv #vaultghoul

[egberts]

girls wake up there's a new worm bike playlist in progress

alana said the new one is way more funky, I've noticed a lot of punk bands are piggy dippin in a funk/punk sound more than a pop/punk sound and honestly? I'm so obsessed.

#its only like half done but ive already had it on repeat for 2 months #truly a I love this song! oh yeah i added it ass playlist #ever since going public with the worm bikes i am more conscious of how incohesive these playlists are #i can have songs bordering on e boy trap music noise alongside what is basically a pop song alongside screamo #but the point was never to have a cohesive sound or vibe. it was to collect new music in one place #and it does that effectively for me even if not everyone who seeks them out has the same taste #also a seperate thought to make these tags extra long: some of them ARE more cohesive and that's the funny part #you can tell my moods of the time or what i was seeking in song. one of them is full of songs about cutting off abusive parents and #simultaneously songs about being happy having a good time healing and starting over #like in a convoluted way that is cohesive and poetic #idk just weird to look back and be able to identify periods of my life with the music i collected now that theres so much of it #wish i could hard copy it but some of these songs are so obscure i feel like it's unrealistic #but i do want to have copies of my VIP list #okay sorry for the long ass rambling tags byyyyeeee

[nerosdayinanime]

more jjk sillies bc theyre fun

#neros art tag #jjk #spoilers in tags #oc: icarus #oc: aether #jjk oc #'dead guy' being potato junpei whos actually still alive to their surprise #drew/redrew a few of the incorrect quote things we made of them #didnt get to do the misery/reeses puffs/cpr joke [pensive] (junpei icarus aether respectively) #also all of the old ones had the hair parted to the wrong side lmao #explanation/context again: icarus has a ver of the gojo special eyes and can see how cursed energy flows- mahito cracks the soul open to #transfigure people(not canon- my interp) h icarus can mold the souls he's cracked open. they resuscitate junpei and become a little curse #user trio- they teach junpei how to properly use cursed energy and such- then during the culling games #yuuji & junpei reunite- them & aether go to find hakari while icarus offered to go find megumi for him #megumi does not trust strangers #its been fuckin ages since ive read the manga i havent kept up w it outside of snippets i see on tumblr i have no clue whats going on #'HEY MAN WHAT THE FUCK. DUDE. I WAS SENT BY YUUJI YOU DICK- i stfg if my appendix ruptures bc of that youre paying my medical bills-' #oh yeah also i missed it when i was looking back Aether can also bite people to sap cursed eneegy. when she bites tho it becomes Hers #instead of just withering away. void & icarus do their own thing- run a little shop that dissuades small cursed spirits from ppl & makes #life a little easier for some. theyr not anything big theyre just trying to have fun & help a few ppl out along the way #oh ya first set they were watching yuuji & nanami go ham on mahito #'we probably shouldnt fuck with that..'

[lightfulonion]

hii @pierogish-side!!! thank you for tagging me!! <3

Last song: This could be us by Rae Sremmurd

Favorite color: mmm really feeling brown rn

Currently watching: OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH WOOHOO!! its so fun (everyone is going through it)

Last movie: The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar dir. Wes Anderson

Currently reading: im currently studying for uni so im stuck at Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett and The Course of Love by Alain de Botton :(

Sweet/spicy/savory: sweet forever and always

Relationship status: uhhh im dying and rebirthing from my ashes 👍

Current obsession: .....kiribaku..... im back at it again OTZ

Last things I googled: wes anderson (so i could find out what the above movie was called lmao), werewolf (singular), boku no hero academia wiki episodes (this is a call for help)

Currently working on: im in my last year of uni (lmao pierogish... 😭) and i need to finish it so im studying really hard!!! (and trying to not give up) but itll probably be a while until i get my degree. also i bought an old polaroid from a thrift shop and im thinking of making it work

tagging: @skijjiki, @livingonyoghurtandspite,@peachybeesplease, @horson, @mars-matrix

#guys im gonna go back to my bnha era..... this was almost 5 or 6 (??) years ago and i was so happy but like......... #its been so long......... #i miss kiribaku so much and i hadnt had the mood for bnha since season 3 aired #i know whats going on in the manga (bc im noisy) and my interest is piqued and i probably will start reading the manga from the beginning #(im not kidding when i say this is a call for help) #if uni wasnt killing me softly (without a song or anything nice) and life was a little less uh 'much' i would have been reading so much #fanfic and (hopefully) drawing ;-; #i miss drawing #cant wait to reread chonideno's krbk fanfics!! they sure wont break my heart in tiny little pieces!! again!! (big faves please give them #a read if you want) #also i accidentaly (fate?) saw what 'mouthful' means in the 'you said a mouthful' sense and it has a positive meaning #specifically it means 'you are right' #'tasteful' has also positive meaning and 'touchful' doesnt exist (yet?) so thats how far ive come to my research #also completely irrelevant with anything ive said before but please if you can check out duolingo's insta profile and tell #me im not hallucinating #specifically the last and third to last posts. its one photo and one video #does it look like im stalling from my studies? (please say no) #get tagged #onion talks #i hope this whole thing didnt brought you a headache like it did to me...... theres a mismatch of so many different things......... #if you made it this far im gonna share with you one of my favorite songs im listening rn: brutus (Instrumental) by the buttress

[lavender---sunshine]

in all seriousness i 90% sure im going to quit my job tomorrow and for a while i will have just enough money to live on and will have to spruce up my resume and job hunt and stress but MY GOD i need to do something else because this is making me suicidal

#like actively suicidal. wanting to die in a way i have not since highschool. literally woke up and thought 'i dont want to be here anymore' #and then couldnt make myself get out of bed until like 10 minutes before i had to leave the house for job 2 #i know its unprofessional but i pretty much...quiet quit i guess. i worked from home for like a month straight without telling my boss #and she called yesterday wondering about it and the whole time the only thing i could think of was 'you didnt even know for a MONTH #thats how little people communicate around here #the office culture is toxic. the people are self absorbed and shut me out. ive gone through like 6 big life events and no one knows because #no one in that office cares enough to ask. and even if i volunteer the most i get is a 'wow that wild look at this tiktok yeah anyway' #im so burnt out. i have 1 day of rest and i dont get to do that at all. so no like im not going to get up get dressed sit in traffic park #on the street because a year later they still havent given me a clicker for the parking lot and sit in the back of a warehouse for hours #talking to no one. ive literally gone days without talking to anyone there. its so lonely. #theres only so many audiobooks and podcasts and albums you can listen to before you think 'i would be ok getting hit by a truck tomorrow' #im going to hate these next few months but i just need time #and the lord works in mysterious ways because my other boss just started talking about hiring for mon/tues which are the days i work bad jo #so i would at least get those hours until i find something else stable. im going to try very hard not to be mean about it but im like... #hey girl this place sucks ass and you know it. im not negotiating #but thanks for that raise 9 months late #im giving you three weeks for find a replacement and i dont care if you fire me in that time #il work from home or panera or starbucks or library but im not stepping in that office again unless its for my minifridge and heater

[nexus-nebulae]

brrrrr (/pos)

#weight talk #<- just in case even though this is pos #but like. okay ive been. SEVERELY underweight all my life #like i looked like a skeleton you could see all my bones it was AWFUL #i just. I've literally always hated looking like that i hated looking like a walking corpse i mean i looked ILL #but recently i started taking remeron for anxiety #partially bc my anxiety keeps causing me to not eat properly bc i feel sick constantly #so i kept ending up in the ER for malnutrition and dehydration and my liver getting messed up #well i started the remeron for the panic attacks bc daily panic attacks suck but the psych mentioned it could increase appetite #and it???? did????? I'm eating on a slightly more regular schedule???? I'm eating more than once a day???? #and like. ok I've always weighed like 100lbs #highest i ever got was 111 when i was 16 #and then it dropped 10 #and then dropped 10 more in the span of 3 months while i was in and out of ER #and i was genuinely starting to panic over it bc i could PHYSICALLY FEEL my muscles getting eaten bc i had no fat left #like i was getting drastically weaker by the day my knees still won't stop buckling #but in the about three months I've been taking those meds I've. gained 10 back #I'm actually gaining weight like me and my mother are genuinely SHOCKED this genuinely hasn't happened since i was fucking TWELVE #and just now i took off my shirt and noticed. holy shit. my stomach doesn't go CONCAVE when I'm hungry anymore #like whenever i couldn't tell if i was hungry before i would just look at my stomach and be able to tell if it was too curved inwards #but now!!!!!!! it doesn't do that!!!!!!! and I'm genuinely fucking ecstatic like oh my god i don't look dead anymore #I've always wanted to gain weight i feel like i would be 100% more comfortable in my body as a fat trans man #and i can't talk about that to anyone bc they always say it's either self harm or fetishistic #when no i just genuinely feel more comfortable in my skin thinking of myself that way #and now i have confirmation that i would genuinely be happier that way with this bc the sheer joy i have at not being underweight anymore #i mean I'm still a bit under but at least im gaining SOMETHING like at least i dont look like a drowned street cat #seeing the very slight rolls and folds in my stomach when i move the right way makes me happy

[robotwrangler]

Thinking about how the lovely person on deviantart who emailed me a copy of Undertale in exchange for a sketch of their oc when I was 15 will never know about the profound effect they had on my life..

#it’s a long story but tldr if not for Undertale I would’ve never heard of Yes Man and without Yes Man I literally wouldn’t be alive rn #I’m sure ive told this story on here before but I like it bc it is important to me #the Undertale to Yes Man pipeline is a very specific thing that happened to me involving 2 different joke blogs on here #there was ‘youcantfuckaskeleton’ (blog abt how nobody should want sans Undertale carnally) #and then I found their other blog ‘youcanfuckarobot’ (blog about. well. I’m sure you get the picture) and I went there for Mettaton posts #but they had some posts there with Yes Man and I was like. that is the most nice looking robot I’ve seen in my life. who is this #and then I forgot abt it for like 3 years and forgot to look him up. UNTIL #DELTARUNE CHAPTER 1.. in 2018.. drove me to revisit those joke blogs for nostalgia #and I saw the yes man pics again and this time I got WAY more curious. I was so so intrigued by him he looked so interesting and cute #so I looked him up and looked at lots of art of him and read his wiki page and I was like. I NEED to meet him #so my big brother got me new vegas as a present on new years and on january 3 2019 I met yes man! #and. I have never understood why or how. but when I woke up the next day my depression was fucking gone #I had severe untreated depression and it just dissolved overnight #nothing else notable happened around that time except for meeting yes man and becoming smitten with him so it seems that’s what did it?? #also those joke blogs are still around I think. i like to revisit them occasionally for the nostalgia of seeing yes man for the first time #but yea anyway what I’m saying is this nice person on deviantart indirectly saved my life #my depression also never came back btw. obviously I feel sad sometimes like anyone but I have not been depressed since then #would’ve been nice if my anxiety went away too but I can at least live with that tbh!! #um anyway I’m sleepy so ending these tags. if you read all of this I love you thank you for caring

[ottitty]

Its okay to let yourself fall out of love with art or a craft if its not bringing you enough joy to be worth sustaining. You're worth more than what you create, and that's not something you have to apologize for. Thats a lot of grief to handle sometimes too, so be gentle with yourself and remember to not let yourself get weighed down by other people's guilt.

You are not dead. Continue on.

#this post keeps showing up on my recommended thats like #'no longer creating art is the DEATH of an ARTIST' #like no im pretty sure the death of an artist is death. #im only now realizing that like... its okay to put things down #and im only now letting myself sit with the fear of 'maybe ill never write or do x thing again after this break' #instead of working myself to death in fear of the idea that if i stop i stop for good #and im looking at the other writers and artists ive talked to who share this fear and thinking about these arts i consider my lifeblood #and also thinking of all the ways ive both taken a break and come back and still have yet to come back to a hobby and.... #im okay. #i still smile i still live life and laugh and cry and enjoy it thoroughly. #my days are full and even the lazier ones are not riddled with the same depression i had anticipated #the world didnt end #everything is okay #and i think its such a bs thing to encourage thinking otherwise #because even if you never did another form of art again (which isnt likely since the way we create tends to just transform) #you would STILL be walking this earth and breathing #the universe wouldnt stop spinning. the day wouldnt suddenly decide to stop coming. there will always be something if you can find it #otter talks #sorry this is a ramble

[leadmeastraylittlefairy]

.

#don’t read this if you don’t want to hear about weight loss (unintentional due to health issues) #i’ve been struggling really bad to eat for the latter half of this year which is something i’ve been having issues w the last couple years #but with weed i was still able to eat decent meals and snacks in the evening and i had been slowly gaining weight until this summer #and i’ve always been a little chunky #but i’ve lost at least 30 pounds in the last ~6 months bc i am just unable to eat really at all #everything makes me nauseous or want to gag and when i cook meals i can make myself eat a couple bites so im not starving any more but #i can’t finish anything #and i can only eat in the evenings #from the time i wake up till about 8pm i maybe have a box of apple juice #and ive had a couple appts w my primary care dr and she straight up doesn’t care i asked for an appetite stimulant previously and she just #upped my migraine med instead….and then when i went back and had lost more weight she said she couldn’t even give me #an appetite stimulant and that i would need a referral for a nutritionist……. #and that she wouldn’t be concerned at all if i weren’t losing weight… #and today i was complaining to my mom about how loose my leggings were and i really don’t want to buy new clothes and she was like you know #that’s actually a good thing #you starving every day for fucking months is a good thing actually :))))))) #i’m just so sick of it…i’m sick of my coworkers complimenting me when i am starving and can’t do anything about it….sick of my doctor not #caring bc im still overweight so since i don’t look like im dying it must not be a problem #i don’t know what’s causing this and i don’t know what to do……i miss enjoying food it was one of the very few pleasures i have in life #im tired of unintentionally being an asshole at work bc im so hungry and i feel like shit but if i try to eat ill vom #cant watch food videos on youtube anymore bc they make me ill #cant read anything that mentions food or describes what people are eating anymore bc it makes me gag #im just sick of this #maybe i’ll try to find a new doctor #as if i can afford to go

[thestarsarebrightertonight]

imgonnagetyouback // mattheo riddle x fem hufflepuff reader

playlist: imgonnagetyouback - taylor swift / get him back! - olivia rodrigo

summary : mattheo riddle does not prank anyone , well asides from you and youve reached your breaking point.

y/n used , hufflepuff reader , swearing , jealousy, fighting , enemies to lovers

masterlist tppd series masterlist

you screamed in horror as cold water splashed down on you , soaking your whole uniform , hair and bag.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" you screeched in pure horror , you looked around the hall in search of a certain smirking face you had come to know all too well.

every student in the hall stared silently , many laughing and some first years looking scared at your angry demeanor. however the one who laughed the most was mattheo riddle , of course.

the boy who has tormented you since first year , endless pranks , endless teasing and zero remorse - mattheo riddle. you dont know what you did to deserve it , but you could easily say it had made you hate the boy more than anyone on the planet. it started with mean nicknames , getting the whole year to call you snotty in first year just because you blew your nose into a tissue in class once. it makes no sense right? completely unprovoked!

"oh dont you just look lovely, baby" mattheo smirked as he walked towards you , holding the bucket he had used to dump water all over you with a simple levitation charm.

"im going you KILL YOU MATTHEO RIDDLE!" you screamed , standing right in front of him and grabbing his collar.

"wow calm down sunshine , its just a bit of water," his smug expression never left his face as he started down at you , his eyes flicking down to your chest where your bra was clearly visible due to your white - soaked - shirt.

you gasped in horror , removing your arms to button up your robe and hide it , " you fucking pervert!"

he held his hands up in defense, "they looked at me first"

"merlin i really really hate you mattheo riddle , rot in hell!" you screamed in his pretty face , running away and pushing past people to get to the hufflepuff common room. mattheos eyes followed you , grinning before walking away when you finally left his sight.

----

"ive got to get him back! hes gotten away with bullying me for too long!" you ranted to your best friend cedric who sat on your bed, listening to the rant he had to endure nearly every day.

"he isnt bullying you y/n , hes teasing you because he likes you," cedric said for the 1000th time since you came back to hogwarts from summer break.

"cedric, hes made my life hell! i hate him and his stuid face GOD!" you groaned.

cedric just stared up at you , bored , "he makes fun of you fir being a hufflepuff right? -you nodded- then charm all his robes to hufflepuff ones then. if hes such a egotistical slytherin that you say he is , he'll hate that"

you grinned excitedly , "yes! his ego is bigger than the whole castle , itd ruin him!"

cedric smiled at your happiness as you hugged him , "thanks ced , love you!"

he laughed as you grabbed your wand and ran out of your dorm , leaving cedric to sigh and get up , following you.

---

the next day your leg bounced in excitement , you had suceeded in making his robes hufflepuff and now it was time to see him angrily burst into the great hall.

"y/n? earth to y/nnn," cedric sang , waving a hand infront of your face , finally catching your attention , "youre gonna make it obvious it was you."

"oh i want him to know it was me , it is so on!" you said quickly , turning back to the enterance of the great hall as cedric sighed in defeat , continuing his talk with the hufflepuff captian.

then a grinning mattheo , wearing a hufflepuff robe and tie walked into the room , looking around until catching your eye and smirking.

you gasped in horror , why is he smiling?!!

you continued to stare at him as a ravenclaw boy walked over.

"like the robes mattheo," the boy said as mattheo smirked.

"thanks my girlfriend got me them , y/n," mattheo said back happily as your face twisted in horror , immediately rising from the hufflepuff table and rushing over.

you stood in front of the smirking slytherin and shook your head at the ravenclaw, "hes NOT my boyfriend dont worry!"

mattheo looked down at you and wrapped his arms around your waist from behind , resting his head on top of yours , "oh i am"

you felt heat rush to your cheeks as the ravenclaw boy just nodded in confusion before walking away silently.

horrified you turned around to face mattheo as his arms remained around you , "what the fuck are you doing!!"

"what? you gave me some hufflepuff robes it was clearly a decleration of your little claim on me , love" he smirked at you , playing with your hair with one hand.

"i would rather die! take the robes off!" you shouted as you tried to wrestle the robe off of him , he had no reaction and just smiled at you.

"stripping me down infront of everyone? i didnt see you as the type but im all in, " he said with a wink.

you immediately stopped what you was doing as his hand grabbed yours , pausing your attempt to take off the hufflepuff tie , "stop telling everyone im your girlfriend riddle , its weird!"

"manifestation am i right?" he laughed , bringing your connected hands down as you scoffed.

"youre so annoying!" you shouted in anger , turning around to go sit back down at the hufflepuff table.

"merlin im gonna kill him!" you vented to your friends once you sat down , but they all looked besides you , "what?"

"meeting friends so early , wow we really are going fast!" mattheo grinned next to you.

"go away riddle!" you seethed.

"y/n you dragged him here.." susan said pointing down to your hand still holding mattheos , you gasped in terror and let go quickly.

"go! shoo!" you pushed him away like a wild animal.

"i cant , im a hufflepuff now so im sitting here," mattheo smiled before grabbing a plate and scooping food onto it , resting his arm around your waist.

you stared at him in disbelief , "UGH!".

he simply grinned at you pulling you in closer to him , how you remained for the rest of breakfast.

----

"so i assume you know a certain wild animal called , mattheo riddle , right?" you whispered to the twins who nodded in unision , "well you must know how hes tormented me these past years. i need to get him back."

the twins looked at eachother with smirks , signalling for you to step closer as to not be heard by anyone in the corridor you had rushed them into , "we think the best way for you to get him back is to make him jealous"

"jealous?" you asked in confusion, backing away , "cmon guys youre the kings of pranks please just give me something to make him smell really bad or something-"

"no y/n. first of all thank you but trust us , you want to know the first fight mattheo riddle got into?" george asked as you nodded in intruige.

"it was with a guy that was going to ask you out in third year," fred finished as george cringed recalling the brutal beating.

"what?!" you gasped , "a guy was going to ask me out and that litlle DEVIL ruined it?!".

they both looked at eachother and sighed , "that isnt the point dear y/n. just...just do as we say. you need to get a fake boyfriend - like cedric , and make sure everyone knows. believe us , you will see mattheo riddle just as angry as you are when he pranks you."

you sigh in defeat , "okay. i just need to convince cedric."

they both nodded and stepped back from the secret huddle the three of you had formed , "good giving revenge advice to you little miss hufflepuff, good luck."

you nodded slowly as the three of you walked in opposite directions.

----

"cedric please!! the twins said its the only thing that will work!" you whined as you grabbed cedrics arm , stopping his pacing around your dorm room.

"and i agree with them but why did it have to be me!-"

"ced , youre my best friend , if i had to fake date any guy itd be you." you reassured him as he finally met your eyes.

there was a long pause before cedric sighed in defeat , "fine , but dont you dare kiss me!-"

"cedric i know your first kiss is reserved for miss cho chang , dont worry!" you laughed as he cracked a small smile.

----

over the next few days you made the effort to hold cedrics hand more ,laugh at his jokes more and tell everyone possible how much of a lovely boyfriend he is. the word had travelled pretty fast and the second it reached mattheo riddle his whole damenor changed.

you were currently sitting at the hufflepuff table with your head on cedrics shoudler , facing the slytherin table and a very angry mattheo riddle who tightened his pale fist.

you laughed at susans joke , before hearing an abrupt slam on the slytherin table , no one else seemed to notice or care but you watched in fear as mattheo riddle jumped from the table and stared straight at cedric , beginning to come over.

in a panic you grabbed cedrics face whispering in desperation, "kiss me cedric!"

"what no!" he whisper yelled in horror , finally catching a glimpse at the fuming riddle heading his way as he gulped at the sight, "why!?"

"the weasley twins told me when he reaches a breaking point we have to , please! i have to get him back after all these years!"

cedric sighed in frustration , "you owe me!"

you nodded as you both moved closer to eachother , lips about to touch until -

cedric got roughly dragged from his seat on the bench , mattheo holding his robes and punching him.

you gasped in suprise not having truly thought of the consequence a raged mattheo would have on cedrics safety , jumping up from the table you watched cedric land a punch on mattheo face.

you cringed at the sight as you tugged on mattheos arm , finally pulling him away from cedric.

"get off of him mattheo!" you shouted.

"tell him to get off you first! ill fuck you up golden boy diggory-!" mattheo shouted at him as cedric attempted to jump back onto him , resulting in you stomping out of the hall , dragging mattheo along with you.

----

finally getting to your dorm you opened the door and shoved mattheo in , slamming the door behind you.

he staggered slightly before you pushed him down on the bed , pacing around the room as he sat and watched.

"what the fuck were you doing!" you exclaimed.

"i was teaching that dickhead a lesson!-" he argued back , being cut off by you pointing a finger in his face.

"DONT call ced a dickhead!" you screamed.

"ced?! CED?! fucking hell he even has a nickname, " he scoffed sourly.

"hes had a nickname for years , hes my bestfriend!".

"yeah cause bestfriends kiss eachother and tell everyone theyre dating right?!" he shouted back.

you paused at this suddenly realising why he had fought cedric in the first place , because of your stupid plan you only now realised was never going to end well.

turning to look mattheo in the face you silently walked towards him , stopping infront of him as he looked up at you. you stared down at him, noticing the bleeding cut on his cheek and running to grab your first aid things in your drawer.

you stood infront of him again, grabbing his chin and forcing him to look up at you allowing you a view of the cut as you grabbed a band-aid from the small box. he watched you with softened eyes as you wiped the cut softly and delicatly placed the band-aid.

"im sorry," you whispered letting go off his chin as his hands went up to your hips , pulling you in between his knees, "i had this stupid plan of getting back at you - the weasley twins told me youd get really angry if i pretended to date cedric. i guess i only just realised why you got so angry."

"why did i get so angry?" he asked softly , wanting to hear you say it.

"you love me." you whispered as he bit back his smile.

"since first year.... i guess im just not good at showing it." he sighed.

"dont mattheo , its my fault too , i was way too oblivious to your feeling and my own feelings . if i realised earlier then this wouldnt have happened-"

"wait. you....have feelings for me?" he asked with hope and desperation.

you paused before nodding , "if i hadnt liked you the whole time i wouldnt have continued to interact with you. i definetly wouldnt have let you hold my hand or my waist. i wouldnt have put in so much effort to get you back... i just didnt realise that througout this whole thing , you were the only person i tolerated teasing me for years."

he chuckled , "i wouldnt say tolerated , i ended up with a few bruisies."

you both laughed at this as he stood up , now towering over you, "im sorry for fighting cedric....and every guy who asked you out in the past."

"i always found it weird they ended up in the hospital wing and ghosting me the day after," you laughed.

he shrugged ,"i couldnt just watch you be with someone else, the thought of it literally tears me apart."

"yeah well youre not alone , remember when that ravenclaw girls hair turned neon yellow after you went on a date with her?" he nodded slowly , "yeah that was me."

he howled with laughter at your confession , remembering the scream of the girl when her hair transformed the day after his date with her.

"youre not alone either , i only went out with her to make you jealous," he confessed too.

"i knew ittt" you sang as he scoffed.

"no you didnt!"

"youre right i didnt," you shrugged.

once his laughter stopped he rested his hand on your cheek , "lets make a deal , no more pranks and no more fights."

you nodded.

"when youre angry with me just...kiss me" he said looking from your eyes to your lips as they pulled into a smile and crashed into his.

first year you is gagging in disgust.

#mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo x reader #harry potter #harry potter x reader #harry potter imagine #riddle #imgonnnagetyouback #get him back #taylor swift #olivia rodrigo #slytherin #slytherin x hufflepuff #slytherin x reader #x reader #x y/n #x you #fluff #angst #jealousy #jealous #enemies to lovers #hogwarts #hp #hp fanfic #hp imagine #cedric diggory #theodore nott x reader #draco malfoy x reader #lorenzo berkshire x reader

[vee-da-skee]

I genuinely wish there was a good vine archive... like after the official site closed down all you can do is hope you can find a repost of the specific one you want on yt or something, and if you can't find it alone you have to look through compilations hoping it'll be there--which is easier if you know the specific creator and can find one of those "all [creator]'s vines" compilations but those can be long + there's not usually chapters in the description or smthn so you can't easily skip through.

I guess the perfect archive would 1) have the individual vines, by themselves, 2) list the og creator of the vine along with the original caption if either are known (that's another thing, sometimes there would be captions with the vine to add more to the joke or more context, but they're not overlayed on the og vid, they'd be visible through the site. Some reposts do add in the og caption tho which is nice), and 3) have a good search system so you can find a really specific vine (like if you only remember imagery or dialogue).

#i mean idk maybe i AM just out-of-the-know and there IS a good vine archive like this but #idk. i was just thinking about it bc i make oc animatics sometimes #and i save audio i might wanna use later and some of them are vines #and when i post an animatic i like to link back to the og audio but ive had times where i used vine audio #but for the life of me i couldnt find the originals! and its probably a case of #i found the audio on a random compilation but now i cant find it individually or in creator compilations #and it mustve been from one of those 'vines that butter my biscuits' or 'underrated vines' types of comps #and i just. dont have the energy to look through all of those lol. especially since you tend to see a lot of repeats #i dont wanna have to sit thru the same 10 vines a hundred times lol

[snekdood]

Its wild to me that theres probably people out there that think im someone who needs to be educated on misogyny n shit bc of whatever my ex says, as if "snake" the character wasnt intentionally a joke character- like mj picks on him ALL THE TIME for his dumb misogynistic beliefs n shit, and its literally always fucking been that way, lol

#do i have to perform and pretend to go through the learning process of understanding what misogyny is again #just to appease you weirdos who assume the worst of me bc you dont have a frame by frame of my lofe so you hear whatever bs my ex #says and think im just some guy fiddling my hands in a dark room somewhere scheming on how to be evil next sjskks #like yall i grew up on here. we can keep pretending that you dont remember that but i do. #i learned about all the feminist shit on here. and bc i was raised as if i was a girl i grew up already with the experience of this shit #like. how disingenous do you have to fucking be. ik plenty of the ppl in the old fandom i was in #knows for a damn fact i wasnt out here doing whatever weird fucked up shit theyre probably accusing me of now #yall watched me reblog feminist shit all the time. but when its time to throw me into the mud all the sudden you have memory loss i guess. #i dont need to be taught all over again because i already know everything. i put on an act online because i think its FUNNEY. #i think pretending to be a jerkass misogynist guy is FUNNEY bc ive been around ppl like that my whole life so ik how to emulate them #pretty fuckin well and idk i just think its funney to act like a shitty dipshit dudebro #sue me #how self unaware do you think i am and also why did you let my ex convince im that self unaware bc jfc #no i dont know everything but i feel like im fuckin good rn dude. like it seems like theres ppl who think theyre leaps ahead of me in #understanding these concepts bc they told themselves that i spent time on the shitty websites like 4chan or whatever and only *just* #started getting into feminist concepts but no dude!!! ive been looking through this fucking lens since 2011!!!????!?!?!!?!!!!???? #i was problematic in ways back then sure but i didnt suddenly regress entirely just bc i was being problematic in one specific way #bc i was raised w the idea it was fine and okay like. everything just *has* to be black and white huh. #i just *have* to be someone whos scheming or whatever. but like. ever since i was fucking 14???? you sure?????? #you sure i had the mental emotional intellectual and physical capacity to know to do all that shit and plan all that shit like????????? #im tired lol #please i beg of you. if you think i spent time on sites like 4chan or reddit or whatever during the really Bad political times #please let me know so we can make a bet with money and you can go off and try to find any of those accounts and ill just sit here w my #feet kicked back. slowly and progressively laughing maniacally as you tirelessly and sweatily search for any possible sign of my #presence. muahahahhahahahahaaaa. #lol sorry. dont know what to tell ya. good luck though. ima use this hundo to buy some weed thankuuu #my usernames back in the day were forsakenspawn and chocomoomoo. also gone by snakiepoo. fosterinpeople. ive had all kinds of names #but any name ive had on deviantart doesnt matter as long as you type in forsakenspawn bc itll auto take you to my acct even tho #its a different name. yeah like. ive got nothing to hide yall lmao. #wont claim to be perfect but i wouldnt give you those usernames if i wasnt open about my past so..?

[zeldasnotes]

ᴬˢᵀᴿᴼ ᴼᴮˢᴱᴿⱽᴬᵀᴵᴼᴺˢ ³²

25 26 27 28 29 30 31

Some of the most kind people Ive ever met had had Jupiter conjunct Moon/Venus. Pure, genuine kindness.

Fama(408) conjunct Uranus can indicate overnight fame. This aspect reminds me of the people who are recorded saying something really funny without realizing it and when they wake up in the morning and see the video went viral.

Venus 10th house is common in the charts of people who work with beauty procedures with a more permanent effect like microblading, cosmetic tattoos, laser hair removal etc. People with these placements often like to get these procedures done on themselves too. Since 10th house is ruled by saturn and saturn is time they want something that lasts instead of just going to a makeupartist.

If one of your parents have Venus in the 5th house you probably hot af.

Moon/Venus conjunct Chiron can mean constantly befriending or falling for the wrong women. They are drawn to people who need healing. But what they forget is that misery loves company.

Everytime I like an artist to the point of liking EVERY song they make we had Venus 8th house synastry. There is a deep understanding here when it comes to art.

Fama(408) conjunct Moon = Soccer mom image👩🏻‍🍼⚽️🧸

People with Ceres(1) conjunct personal planets tend to be well liked.

Venus/Saturn aspects might be hated on more by older people than people their own age. Older women might comment on their looks and older men notice them.

Everytime someone throws a fit in my comments its because I said something about their Moon aspect/sign. Which kinda proves what a sensitive planet the Moon is.

Moon can show where you spend so much time to the point of living there. I read about a person in true crime who lived in her car and she had Moon in the 3rd house, Ive seen Moon in the 6th house who are at work all the time, Ive seen Moon in the 11th housers who are always at their friends house.

Mars, Nessus or Lilith in the 11th house can be keyboard warriors. 🤬💻

Part of Fortune in the 5th house makes someone blessed with extraordinary creativity.

Ive seen people with Lilith Square Jupiter might have to suffer a lot because of rebelling against cultural/religious expectations.

Mars Square Uranus are the kind of people to EXPLODE with physical energy. This makes them excellent at martial arts since they move quick. Mike Tyson have Mars Square Uranus and Pluto.

Venus in Leo in the solar return chart can make you more interested in fashion & haircare that year. 💅

Transit Asteroid Destinn(6583) was conjunct my natal Venus and Transit Moon was in my natal 7th house the day I met the love of my life. Transit Juno(3) was conjunct my natal Juno.

Transit Dejanira(157) conjunct my natal Ascendant was hell. Ive never been victimized by others like I was during that year.

Women with Lilith and Pluto aspecting the Ascendant always look so good in bloodred or jetblack hair.

Moon in the 11th house might find a lot of comfort in social media. Social media can be their escape.

Juicy Couture just screams Taurus energy to me. The soft comfy but still so rich and pretty look to the clothes and bags is pure Taurus. (I cant be the only one who relate certain brands to a sign?)🛍️

Be careful with 2nd house synastry bc it can really make you want to buy someone stuff. I dont know if its house or planet who usually wants to buy bc Ive seen both ways around. Sure it can be a positive thing but not if one is a user and the other is naive. Can also make one expect stuff from the other. 💰

Me and my lilsister have 2nd house synastry but we would never use eachother we just love buying eachother stuff and discuss food and shopping together. For us the giving goes both ways. But Ive seen other situations where one just gave and gave without getting anything back.

Most Libra Venus men Ive met made a very big deal out of what their type is. The type to let eeeeverybody know about how they only date redheads. They can become VERY into what they find beautiful.

Venus says a lot about your behaviour bc Venus is what we find attractive and ofc we act as we want to be seen. Capricorn Venuses for example tend to act in a very mature and serious way. Their behaviour really screams ”take me seriously or live to regret it.”

People with Venus/Pluto tends to get a lot of unwanted suggestions on what to do with their looks.

Transit Asteroid Destinn(6583) was conjunct my natal Venus the day I met the love of my life. And transit Juno(3) was conjunct my natal Juno.

Plutonian Moons can always spot eachother. Same with Chiron 1st house and Lilith 11th house. Thats because these placements all bring experiences in someones youth that can be easily seen on the person later in life.

©️ 2024 Zeldas Notes All Rights Reserved

#astro notes #astrology #astro observations #astronotes #birth chart readings #lilith #asteroids #ceres #fama asteroid

[pjackk]

Yep another miesrable "F my life" moment just hapened to me i basicaly walked 10 miles up the mountain to get to behind to the gas station to see my plug to buy me my with my favorite delta 8 pipe rocks and grab another 6er of tall boy steelies and i forgot i had my lit pre roll from brunch at the Country Grocerys buffet and i tripped on a congom on they away out and fell directly into a puddle of oil which normaly is fine when i fall and hurt myself ebcause nobody gives a fuck about me but the pants got stained wich is not unusual for me either but this time with motor guel or some shit but my pre roll was smoldering still and it set my ptants on fire so i dive in to the muddy ditch to put wet mut on my body to estinguish the fire and it and it shook the fuck up out of my steelos and the bursted all over me and it put out the fire but now i dont have any booze at all and my delta 7 "Fuck n chill" rocks burned tf up and i dont got nothgin left and my pants were all fucked up so i had to go home thru the woods wihtout them and it was so dark out and my peice of shit phone died even thouhg it was at 27% and i couldnt see shit and i was lost for along time so i decide to go to sleep in the woods to find my way back in day time + the animals sounds were high key scary as fuck so i cover myself in leafs and dirt and sticks and mud and other shit to hide from them and i woke up in the adfternoon still tired as fuck cuz i dont sleep good without some shit to put me asleep like my medicidne prescribed from Dr Maltlikker if U catch my drift lol or Dr thc Gummy lol if u get what im saying and these stupid little cunts with 22 rifles were plinking at me and tlaking about how they wanted to shoot my big ugly rusty head right in the head or to shoot a hole in my nippels so i got up and trioed to get them to stop i begged but htey just kept lauhging at me and shooting at me and it realy hurt my feelings so i pick one up and threw it into the sky then they all ran away screaming which is a classic "Dont fuck with honest joe,because he might try to hurt you or kill you if u piss him of moment" but the miracle of the story if that i went to walk 20 feet to findm y way out and i found my busted as shit old as fuck camry with a litle gas left ive been looking for it for a few days cuz i did a lil cruising when i was blackout and did lots of crazy shit i didnt remember at all but it was all on my story and 100 ppl were snaping and whatsapping me telling me to kill myself when i checked my huwawai thats how u know u had a crazy fcking night when u get that shit!!😂😂 but it had a litle gas left and it wasnt super busted so i was able do get back on I81 and soem stupid fcking crazy ass north carolina motha fuckas are driving insanly as fuck as usual and they keep almost hiting me while im just trying to read my fukcking phone to get rid of all these stupid messages and shit i still dont know how to use the app and its hard to type shit with my hands but eventualy i got back to my fuck buddys houe im crashing there even though he hates me now but i have nowehre left since ive been down on my luck and im realy not able to pay the bills no more with my online black jack/DarkRp trial moderator gigs and basicaly he owes me cuaz i got him 1 pack of menthols back when he was 19 and Sleepy Joe Brnadon banned them since "Freedom to do real shit" was aparently removed from the costitution when he was elected😂 but anywas now im sitting here bored as fuck with nothign at all do do cuz i got nothing to get fucked up wthi and i spent the rest of my meony on shit thats burned and blasted im realy worried i wont be able to sleep tongith since i cant get fucked up and thats when the demons starts to flow in my head i might do something realy bad to myself like pluck out my screws or some shit if u care abotu my which u probably dont my cashuapp is $pjack9 im desprate for another bottle to numb my p[ain away

Pic of my ride when i found it thankuly it still had gas😋

[soggyriceee]

strawberry | Konig nsfw

| this one is a smut, but also angst. basically, Konig gets you to use your safe word for the very first time after being gone for a year in the German base. so, I hope you all enjoy :) |

warnings: rough sex, crying (not good kind) angst, aggressive konig, not edited, will be edited in the morning

╰┈➤

Konig was always gentle during sex. and it a hundred percent had to do with the fact he was literally twice your height and then some. yes he left hickeys, small small bruises on your hips from his grasp, left your legs a bit wobbly. but those were normal considering his size. and even when you reassured him you liked that, he would always apologize profusely, getting you anything you need for hours and hours after.

but tonight, he was a whole other man. he wasn't the same kind and giving Konig. and to an extent you liked the new dominance, the new aggression. it was hot.

until it wasn't.

Konig had been between your legs, fingering and eating you out for about an hour. he was hungry, and not for edible food. he was hungry for you. that sweet pussy of yours, your tight cunt gripping his fingers or dick. he missed it while he was back in Germany for some mission he had given you little information about. all you knew was he was in the middle of Germany, killing potential threats.

already you had came 4 times (that he allowed). he was so pussy drunk, he hadn't realized the tears that brimmed those pretty eyes. in fact, his eyes were closed, his lower half grinding into the bed. you were sure he had already came in his pants at least twice at this point. he would occasionally whimper into you pussy, his hips moving faster against the bed. " fuck ive missed this pussy maus.. you dont even understand." he said into your drenched cunt. a mix of saliva and cum ran down your legs, a big puddle underneath the both of you.

"k-konig can we.. take a break please." you cried from above, your legs shaking despite his mouth simply on your thighs, leaving more and more marks. he nipped at the soft flesh of yours after those words came out, a low growl leaving his lips. " how dare you ask such a question?" he rose, pulling his pants down. and you were right.

his dick was layered in his cum, more of it dripping out from the tip. he was so agonizingly hard, he couldnt bare to fuck into the bed anymore. he needed what he dreamt of every night since leaving. and he needed it now. "imma fuck my babies into you liebling.. make you swollen with them." he said, almost to himself, as he grabbed the base of him, looking down at your pussy.

as much as you wanted him to rearrange your guts, you were drained. he had made you so overstimulated, you could barely form thoughts. it was hard trying to even raise your head from the pillow. but he didnt care. he hadn't realized it before, but as much as he does want to cherish your body like its a rare piece of art from olden times, worth millions of dollars, he loved seeing you fucked out just as much. he loved seeing how he had complete control over your body and there was nothing you could do. it sparked a whole new person in him, one that you were quickly growing scared of.

before you could process his tip sliding slowly into you with ease, his hips were already slamming into yours, his balls hitting your cum soaked ass with so much force, the sound filled the room. your hands clutched onto his shoulders for dear life, your eyes squeezing shut. " you look so fucking pretty maus.. so fucking pretty. all fucked out like this.. shit~" he groaned, his eyes watching your face twist in what he believed was pleasure.

and for a bit it was. until he raised your leg all the way up, leaving the other down. your leg fell over his shoulder and your arms flopped to your side. he was hitting directly at your cervix and it hurt. but he was in so much pleasure. his head fell back as his eyes rolled to the back of his head, his lips spitting out dirty phrases in both English and German.

and of course, being away from sex for a year, Konig was beyond sensitive. he came for the first time within the first few thrusts, his head falling into your bruised breasts, whimpering out how good it feels. but that didnt stop him. he kept going.

his hand found its way to your throat, gripping it unintentionally hard. with the mix of tears and now the shortness of breath, it was all a lot on your body physically. Konig had gotten to carried away inside your pussy, the way it sucked him back in. "fuck maus.. your s-so wet.. im close again~" he whimpered, his lips latching to your breasts to find space to mark it yet again.

at this point you were literally going in and out of vision. his grip on you grew tighter as he released yet another load into you. you too felt your pussy leaking, unaware of the knot that was in your stomach. you were feeling too many things at once that you ended up going completely numb. you whimpered below him, trying to find anything to get him to realize that you needed a break. but the tears that fell from your eyes only made him wanna fuck you more.

he slid out, watching the mixture of cum literally pour out of you. your thighs were soaked and red from the constant biting and nibbling a few moments ago. your face was red as well from the lack of oxygen. he let go of your neck, licking his lips as if he was deciding what to do with you next. all he knew, was that he wanted to keep fucking you.

he grabbed your legs and pressed them together and into your chest. immediately you felt his dick slide right in, going at his fast pace yet again. "k-konig please- I-i cant" you managed to choke out, your head hitting the bed frame with each thrust he gave you. this was when the fun for you ended. it only made him more and more horny, seeing you tap out so soon after he began to fuck you.

the look in his eyes was not the same look when he came home, a huge bouquet of flowers in his hand as he ran up to you, lifting you off the ground and placing kisses all over your face. no. this look was dangerous. it was almost like it was the same look he had on the battle field.

his hand went back to your throat, his head tilting to the side slightly. "shut up a-and fucking.. take it. I know.. you missed this a-as much as me." he growled, moving his hips only faster and deeper. but you couldnt take it. you truly couldnt take it.

by the time you felt your 6th orgasm approaching, you began to see white light in the corners of your eyes, and you knew you were truly at your limit. "s-strawberry" you tried to say as loud as you could. but the sounds of your cunt and konigs whimpers, he couldnt hear you. his thrusts kept going until you felt him release inside you again, his grip on your throat enough to snap your throat. and at that same time, what you though was impossible happened. you had the most painful orgasm ever, your body feeling like it was going to shut down entirely. it was like you had nothing else to give.

""fuck libeling.. gimme one more.. be a good girl." he whispered breathlessly, his hips beginning to once again, move. this time slower but still deep. but you physically couldn't take it.

once you felt yourself begin to doze off from the lack of oxygen and overstimulation, you were finally able to coherently and loudly say, 'strawberry'.

╰┈➤

you woke up about a half hour later, your throat sore and body just as sore. you tried to turn but your legs gave you a painful sign to stay put. thats when it all came back what had happened. of course, it made tears well up in your eyes. you'd just seen a side of Konig you never thought you'd see. a side of him he kept hidden from you.

you stayed completely still, looking into nothing until you heard sniffles coming from the floor behind you. of course, you tried to move but it hurt. but eventually you were able to turn to your side, a few pained moans leaving you every now and then. thats when your eyes landed on Konig sitting on the floor, head in his hands as tears seeped through his fingers.

"Konig?" you said, wincing right after. but he didnt look up. he kept his head in his hands, his chest rising and falling quick. and you knew what this was. you'd been with him for so long, you knew exactly what he was going through based off his body. but as much as you wanted to help him, you genuinely couldnt feel your legs. "please come here.. I cant get up. let me hold you." you said, reaching your hand out. but still, nothing.

you felt a pain in your chest watching him like this, unable to do anything. you wanted to help him, reassure him that everything is okay. but words only do so much for him, he needed you to physically show him everything was okay. "Konig please I-" "I h-hurt you. im s-so s-sorry." he spoke out, hyperventilating throughout all. he began to rock on the floor, crying harder into his hands.

hearing him cry, it made you want to cry with him. especially since, you couldnt do anything but try and talk to him. "Konig please." you tried reasoning with him. but he couldnt get himself off the floor. thats when you decided to drag yourself off the bed, no matter how much pain you felt. you knew that yes you needed help too, but you weren't gonna get any if your help was having a panic attack.

once you got to the end of the bed, you crawled off of it slowly, your hands hitting the ground first, legs second. you groaned at the light impact, but still dragged yourself over to Konig. he was shaking when you got to him, his cries not stopping, even when you rested your hand on his foot. "Konig please stop crying.. look im okay. im alive." "but you almost weren't." he was looking up now. seeing his red puffy eyes broke your heart. and seeing you, looking lifeless and not responding to him made him even more worried for you than you were for him. the only thing that kept him going was your pulse, and barely that.

"I-i almost k..killed-" he couldnt finish his sentence before sobbing into his hands again, shaking his head. your head dropped, you didnt know what to say. you'd never experienced this issue with Konig, with anyone before. you'd never had to use your safe word and you never expected to. "Konig.. can you look at me?" you finally spoke, your voice stern.

he looked up at you, wiping his eyes. " it was an experience, okay? yes it was scary and yes it could've gone wrong. but it was a could've situation, not a did happen situation. as much as I want to help you feel better, I cant do that if I cant see you, and talk to you like I am now." your hand took his, squeezing gently. he sniffled and nodded, looking straight into you. " right now, I need help too. so lets help each other feel better." you said, smiling softly at him.

he looked down at your neck, some of the hickies leaving behind dried blood or bite marks. some even both. his heart dropped as he ran his eyes down your body again, the thsirt he put on you the second he realized you had passed out, barely covering the similar marks on your thighs. "im.. im so sorry maus.." he whispered, shaking his head.

you smiled and grabbed his face, leaning in as slow as you could as to not hurt yourself, leaving small kisses on his cheek. " I love you Konig, okay? you got a bit carried away. you've been gone a year. its normal. unexpected, but I understand. just please, next time-" "ill treat you like your made of glass libeling." he finished, grabbing your face.

Konig knew deep down, he'd never forgive himself for this. for putting you in danger like that, for turning into the man he was on the battlefield. he'd never forgive himself, no matter how many times you told him it was okay. it wasn't. and he felt worse about being the one on the floor crying instead of showering you in love.

he stood, grabbing you with such ease into his arms, flipping you bridal style. you clung to his neck, smiling at him. "lets go give you a bath, ill order your favorite food. or I can cook. then we can watch that show you've been watching. we can do anything you want maus.. I love you." he said, walking towards the connected bathroom.

and you both did just that. the rest of the night you stayed in, cuddling and watching your favorite shows. as bedtime grew closer for you both, he began to clean the marks along your body, kissing each one and apologizing after them all. he felt so bad, and he was willing to go above and beyond, and even then some, to make you feel like the beautiful princess you were.

#konig #konig smut #konig fanfiction #konig x reader #cod #cod x reader #call of duty fan fiction #call of duty x reader #konig fic #konig call of duty #konig mw2 #mw2