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#matsukawa issei x y/n

teamatsumu · 7 months

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kinktober 2023 -> day 7

orgasm denial - matsukawa issei x reader

word count: 873

warnings: regular smut warnings, daddy kink mentioned, slight degradation, swearing

kinktober masterlist

You knew you deserved this. You had been teasing him all night after all. In some capacity, you were even looking forward to it. It had been a long time since you had acted out enough that it warranted a punishment from Issei. And now you realized that time had probably dulled things in your head. Because you had forgotten just how brutal Issei’s punishments could be.

Two hours. It had been two hours of what felt like every emotion and sensation known to mankind coursing through your veins. You had been touched subtly, sweetly, like a ghost whispering against your skin, enough to make you shiver and get riled up, enough to make your nerves buzz in excitement. And you had also been touched roughly, hard, strong hands spanking and slapping at sensitive skin, nails scratching and fingers fucking so hard and fast into you that you had lost all semblance of sanity.

At this point, your vision was swimming. Partly from your tears, and partly from your head being pressed so hard into the mattress that it left you cross-eyed. Your ass was propped up in the air by his other hand, the one not holding your head down, but instead holding your hips up with a grip so bruising you were sure it would leave deep purple marks on you tomorrow morning. But fuck, you couldn’t bring yourself to care about the next morning. You could only focus on one thing, and that was your weeping pussy stretched out over your boyfriend’s huge cock, drilled into submission and with no signs of stopping.

“I-Issei-” You gasped when he hit a particularly deep spot, another tear escaping from your eye and running over the bridge of your nose, only to fall on the sheets under your head. “Issei, plea-”

“No.” Came the nonchalant reply.

Your face scrunched up in disappointment, fingers twisting around the sheets as you laid still, taking the pounding you were getting like a good girl. You wanted, no needed, to cum so bad, but you couldn’t. Not until Issei allowed you to. You knew what would happen if you came without his permission. If this was already messing you up so bad, you couldn’t even imagine what he would do to you if you came without his approval.

You let yourself cry and moan as Issei kept fucking you slow and hard into the mattress, trying not to focus on how fucking good he felt or how close to the edge you were. You sighed when he draped himself over your back, his bare body providing such a welcome feeling against your shot nerves. He hummed into your shoulder, laying a soft kiss on the skin, such a stark contrast to the absolute havoc he was wreaking below your pelvis.

“Issei…” You tried again, clenching around him. You were so overstimulated, you just had to beg. You knew from experience that it wouldn’t be long until you couldn’t hold back anymore, not if Issei continued to shove his cock into you at the same pace.

“Stop asking, baby.” Came his reply, voice raspy against your ear, his breath hitting your skin enough to make you shiver. He thrusted hard and held himself there for a few seconds, letting you appreciate how wonderfully he stretched you out. Your jaw went slack.

“You know you don’t deserve to cum.” He continued, the hand on your head now tangling in your hair, tugging just a bit. “Not after that show you put on in front of my friends. You think they couldn’t tell that you were just tryna rile me up? They’re not stupid, you know? And neither am I.”

“‘M sorry.” You whimpered, barely forming coherent thoughts, but feeling fresh tears prick your eyes regardless. “‘M sorry, daddy. I was just-”

“Being a brat? Wanting attention? Acting like a whore?” His words didn’t sting, in fact they turned you on more and made you tighten around him, and you heard his sharp intake of breath.

“You don’t get anything tonight, babygirl.” He concluded, one hand slipping between your body and the bed to pat at your clit, making you yelp. You were so sensitive, even the slightest touch sent you spiraling. “Tonight, you’re gonna let daddy use your whore body for himself, and if I feel like you deserve to cum after that-” He disengaged from your body and straightened, hands gripping your hips in preparation, “then maybe I will consider it.”

Then, he began fucking you in earnest, pounding your limp body into the bed, reveling in the sounds of your mumbled ‘thank you’s, grateful just at the thought that maybe he would let you cum. He couldn’t help the little smirk that spread on his face at the sound, the notion that even his consideration for letting you cum sent you into a mumbled mess of grateful words, his cock throbbing inside your tight little cunt.

He had trained you well.

Taglist:

@bxbyyyjocelyn @thisbicc @lazuliquartz @dreamayy @kuroosluthoe @true-form-hoe @akumakitsune21 @cham0mil3-and-h0n3y @samisfunky @universal-s1ut @msbyomimi @dohwaesu @leothesquishy @n0tmykays @tsukiran @reyofsunshinelol @bleach-your-panties @galaneiaeris @leyra-giovanni @erenspersonalwh0re @peachesncats @soapsoftheworld @iwannabecamiloshovel @vintagevict0ria @smithieandy @moonlit-mizukage @snazzyturtles

A/N: For those whose tags arent working, im sorry! I tried and for some reason, your names wont show up in the mentions :( another way of being notified is to turn on my blog notifs for @teamatsumufics . I only reblog my fics there so it serves almost like being in a taglist!

#matsukawa issei x reader #matsukawa issei #matsukawa issei smut #matsukawa issei x you #matsukawa issei x y/n #matsukawa issei fanfiction #matsukawa issei imagine #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu imagines #matsukawa x reader #kinktober 2023

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xfgpng · 10 months

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you never understood the appeal of aphrodisiacs. your friends would tell you the benefits and how much they enjoyed it but you never really liked that idea of giving someone that much control over your body while you weren’t coherent.

that is until you met him. matsukawa issei …

no one has ever made you feel as good as he always makes you feel and he makes sure to make it about you. every single time.

it’s why you bring it up to him, it’s terrifying as it is exciting.

the first few moments feel like a faint buzz, almost like smoking weed and feeling that pleasant high until it hits you hard and fast.

you can feel everything he does, the intensity of his fingers digging into your skin, the way his cock pushes so deep into you that you can almost feel it in your throat.

it’s all too much and not enough at the same time and when you cum for him, it’s so loud and needy that he can’t help but want to push you over the edge again and he does, your body willing and pliant and even as you come down from your high, you beg for more. you need him to keep making you feel good, the only way he can.

#[ 🪼 ] xfg writes #haikyuu smut #hq smut #matsukawa issei #mattsun smut #mattsun x reader #mattsun x you #mattsun x y/n #hq matsukawa #haikyuu matsukawa #matsukawa issei x reader #matsukawa issei x you #matsukawa issei x y/n #haikyuu mattsun #haikyuu mattsun smut

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animeangel21 · 10 months

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After you give him head or if he stops you while you’re giving him head he’s gonna kiss you. He is going to stick his tongue down your throat, lick the pre cum and drool off your lips and chin.

If he shoots his load in your mouth expect him to have a very sloppy make out session with you after because, he knows he takes care of himself and he wants to make sure it’s just right for ya.

Plus he alwaus says to himself fuck all that masculinity bullshit, he knows he taste good in your mouth

Wakasa,RAN, RINDOU, Hanma, SANZU, Draken, mitsuya, smiley (Nahoya), Mikey, Shinichiro, BAJI, kisaki, matsukawa, iwaizumi, coach ukai

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viviaj · 10 months

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“don’t be a fucking bitch,” matsukawa issei, for the third time tonight, has a dumb bitch underneath him. he shoves your body further into the mattress, “just let me do this.”

you’re burning while issei’s large hand presses down on your back like a brick, his other hand trying to guide his big cock into your tight hole.

feeling him push you open is like fucking hell. “it fucking hurts you piece of shit,”

“you talk so sweet to me baby,” he pushes the tip in, and the pain and feeling of it all has your voice getting caught in your throat, “yeah? say somethin’ nice now,” he bends down beside you, “talk sweet to me.”

he knows what he does to women. and he doesn’t really care.

he goes to push further in and you instinctively jerk forward, “wait, wait. just let me—”

“holy shit, shut the fuck up.”

your face falls into the pillow as he pushes all the way into you. a groan melts from his mouth at how you feel around him, “fuck. yeah that’s good.”

he’s moving in and out of you; like a fucking vice to him, “worth the bratty mouth.”

“fuck you.” it’s meant to come out with more anger but it sounds pathetic next to him.

he’s quiet

he’s quiet while he fucks you like you’re a little tool to get off with.

matsukawa issei knows that he hurts women, and he’s a sick pervert that enjoys it.

a sickening guilt builds in your stomach as you think and think and think and think and

“does it hurt?”

you want to tell him no. you don’t want him to have the satisfaction that it does hurt. that all you can feel is his cock, and his hands.

“yeah,” you cry out pathetically, “it hurts.”

“i know.”

it’s so pathetic. because he didn’t even have to ask in the first place. but watching you, and hearing you subject yourself to him, is fun.

this is fun to issei. and that realisation is awful.

his cock pulls out of you, face next to your cheek, “let’s put this somewhere else, okay?” his thumb hooks into your mouth, pulling at your cheek, “right here.”

you were in for a long night.

#haikyuu men #haikyuu smut #tw dubcon #tw noncon #matsukawa smut #matsukawa issei #tw degredation #he’s an asshole #issei matsukawa #issei smut #matsukawa x reader #matsukawa x you #matsukawa issei x reader #matsukawa x y/n #noncon tw

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nishinoyaswife4 · 4 months

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His Response to 'I want you."

Obviously 18+ only on this post

His mouth goes dry and his brain short circuts for a minute. He finally manages to speak but all that comes out is "Cool cool. Absolutely lets do that." Real smooth- Atsumu Miya, Daichi Sawamura, Tanaka Ryunosuke, Yamamoto Taketora, Iwazumi Hajime, Goshiki Tsutomu, Hanamaki Takahiro, Yamaguchi Tadashi

He just stares at you with his mouth open like you just said the most outlandish and nasty shit to him. His face becomes extremely red before he just nods.- Kageyama Tobio, Semi Eita, Aone Takanobu, Kyotani Kentaro, Lev Haibia, Asahi Azumane

Hes pumped. He literally yells in excitment at this new development. "Hell yeah dude lets do it." He reaches out for a high five like you just asked him to play a game. - Bokuto Kotaro, Hinata Shoyo, Nishinoya Yuu, Tendo Satori

Not the least bit phased by this. In fact he's teasing you and embarrssing you for what you said. "Oh wow you're so bold y/n at least take me out first." Of course hes saying all of this as he pulls you to the bedroom. -Oikawa Toru, Matsukawa Issei, Kuroo Tetsuro, Sugawara Koshi, Tsukishima Kei, Tendo Satori, Suna Rintaro, Osamu Miya

He gives no emotion, or response to your words. He simply gets up and exits the room. You think you've offended him somehow until he calls you from the other room. "Y/N are you coming?"- Ushijima Wakatoshi, Kita Shinsuke, Akaashi Keiji, Kenma Kozume

BONUS:

His pants were on the ground before you ever even finished the sentence- Nishinoya Yuu, Atsumu Miya, Bokuto Kotaro, Tanaka Ryunosuke

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loveephia · 1 year

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:¨ ·.· ¨: ハイキュー!! you as aoba johsai's beautiful manager . . .

`· . ꔫ . . . inarizaki ver. | nekoma ver.

+ shiratorizawa ver. | fukurodani ver.

⚠ warning/s: none.

-🧍‍♀️

- you signed up because iwaizumi hajime is on the team you needed some team building experience

- and the members were kind to you, of course!!

- maybe maddog didn't like you very much.

- you don't know why, but it's okay.

- you'll grow on him one day!!

- sadly, that day is just not today. 😔

- oikawa thought you were a fan of his

- which is not true

- like.

- at all.

- if anything, you were more of a fan of iwaizumi, but moving on

- word got out that you were their manager, and you SWEAR that oikawa's fangirls are plotting something.

- oikawa treated you the same as he does with every other girl, maybe the occasional flirty statement here & there

- but like

- NO.

- YOU DIDN'T WANT THIS!!!!!

- yahaba tried HIS shot on flirting with you using the good ol' toss-and-run, aka the same thing he tried to do with yachi

- you quickly shut him down by running away, absolutely mortified by the expression on his face.

- NO BC SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THIS

- bro's rizz came right outta aot 😭😭😭

- just avoid him like the plague, and you'll be fine

- kunimi is one of the more calmer boys, so you /may/ have unintentionally favored him

- like, you'd refill his water bottle first, you'd fetch his towel first, etc.

- kindaichi gets the job done, but he tends to get lost in his own thoughts

- matsukawa and hanamakki are pretty chill as well,, a joke about oikawa every now and then makes you laugh

- and iwaizumi

- wow, where do you even start

- wou don't know WHY oikawa is the one with a bunch of fans, when his hunk of a best friend is right there

- but it's okay. less competition, am i right lass.

- you do not hide your liking towards iwaizumi.

- "iwaizumi is so cool!" you say with hearts, visibly forming on your eyes

- "are you aware that you're talking to yourself?" kunimi asks with a stoic face

- "very aware."

- iwaizumi messes up his spikes every now and then because he feels you watching him

- YOU'RE JUST. THAT. PRETTY. 😭😭

- he gets all shy whenever you hand him his things because he can see flowers and sparkles all around your face

- "..thanks, y/n."

- "you're welcome, iwa!"

- PARDON??

- WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL HIM.

- "o- oh—! sorry for calling you that. i heard oikawa say it, and well.." you sheepishly apologized. you truly didn't mean it. it completely flew over your head that this was just your first day as their manager.

- "no, it's okay. it was cute." iwaizumi puts a halt to his step.

- ok

- wgat ☺️

- so here you two are, a blushing mess, while the third years watch

- "i bet the entire team some ramen that iwaizumi is the first to get married between him and oikawa." hanamaki says.

- "deal." matsukawa accepts

- "you two are so annoying..!" oikawa cries out

- maybe maddog will grow more accustomed to your presence if you'll be iwaizumi's future wife :p

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atsumwah · 8 months

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too pretty!

featuring : matsukawa issei the loml <3

notes : you're jealous your bf is too pretty

you're aware that your friends are very attractive.

oikawa's somewhat charming personality easily grabs a girl's attention, iwaizumi's buff figure immediately turns heads whenever he enters a room and makki had this boyish ruggish look that somewhat looks cute to some people. it's normal seeing them being hit on by girls and sometimes it's like a form of entertainment for you.

but your boyfriend on the other hand, now this is new.

you've been together since high school. you've always found issei attractive. he's not a smooth talker like oikawa, but his attentiveness and response when you talk to him makes you feel seen and heard. he doesn't seem as built as iwaizumi at first glance, but underneath those baggy clothes hid something you're glad only you can see and touch. he's not as easy going as makki, but the way he spontaneously shows up at your house at 3 in the morning when you're upset tells you maybe he's easy going when it comes to you.

so falling in love with him was inevitable because all the things he does with you and only you are attractive.

but you're not the only one who thinks that anymore.

see, after your boyfriend figured out his own style that weren't baggy clothes and instead fitted his physique and also found a way to style his usual mess of a bedhead into luscious curls, he suddenly became attractive to everyone around him.

and it pissed you off. he was always attractive without the sudden change but now its like that's all people see.

like when you visited oikawa and iwaizumi at the gym and the manager shamelessly flirted with issei the moment you left to greet them. or when you visited makki with him at the cafe he worked at and makki's coworker only paid attention to issei and completely ignored you. or when you were out grocery shopping and left issei for five minutes only to come back to a girl who had the audacity to ask if he was single.

so yeah you're pissed off. and there's only one logical way to fix this.

"what are you doing?" issei asks as you settle down on his lap and ruffle his already done up hair. "baby, i just fixed it."

"i know. i'm ruining it."

instead of being mad his hair is being messy, he raises an eyebrow instead. "but then we're gonna be late."

"you'll go out like this then."

he has this amused smile now. "okay, what's up with you?"

"nothing." you said, somewhat proud of your work. "just fixing you up."

"this is the opposite of fixing me up, babe." he took your hands and plants kisses across your palms, then he rests his own hands on your hips. "why are you making me look like i just made out with you? there are other ways to achieve that."

in another situation you would cave in but you had a mission. "you're too good looking. i'm trynna make you look less good looking."

this time, he laughs. "gee thanks babe. i appreciate the compliment."

"i'm serious." you pout, though issei just keeps on laughing. "you're too pretty and girls are swooning all over you and you don't even do anything about it."

"whoa what," he stops, eyes locking onto yours. "who's swooning over who now?"

"everyone is all over you. can't you tell?" you huff when you realize his bed head makes him look even more attractive. damn it.

"honestly no." he says simply. "and you're…jealous?"

"i'm not jealous. i'm pissed. there's a difference."

"pretty sure they're the same thing, babe."

you squish his cheeks, framing his face with your hands. "stop being so pretty."

he chuckles and brings his hands up to cover yours. "this is really bothering you, huh?"

"maybe just a tad bit."

"you know i only got eyes on you, right?" he takes your hands off and leans in so you both are nose to nose.

"i've been told so once or twice."

"once or twice?"

"maybe hundreds of times but who's counting."

"and you know im stuck with you forever, right?"

"mhm," you indulge him by wrapping your arms around him, "you better be."

"so there's no reason for you to get all jealous." he says, eyebrows raising up as if an idea popped into his head. "what if you just kiss me if that happens?"

"like stake my claim? what are we, animals?"

"i mean that's what i've been doing when guys hit on you."

"it is? wait, back up, when has that happened?"

"you're delusional if you think guys don't hit on you."

"they don't!"

"yeah well they don't get the chance to do it properly because my radar is just too good."

"oh my god, you're serious."

"deadass. and lemme tell you, it always works." he says proudly. "i get to turn you into mush and also send a warning to other guys. win-win situation."

"i do not turn to mush."

"really now?" he wiggles his eyebrows. "want a reminder?"

you think you've indulged him quite enough so you flick his forehead instead. he winces. good.

"so you don't mind?" you said, narrowing your eyes playfully. "you don't mind me staking my claim on you next time it happens?

"baby, please, I encourage it." he says, almost too quickly.

you giggle, feeling some sort of satisfaction that your boyfriend is all on board with you staking your claim in front of people. it should make you feel shy or embarrassed but it kind of makes you feel giddy instead. but he doesn't need to know that yet.

tempted to do a pt2 but it's just me reader making out w issei

#—drabbles.#matsukawa fluff #matsukawa x reader #matsukawa headcanons #matsukawa issei #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x reader #matsukawa x y/n #haikyuu matsukawa #hq matsukawa #issei matsukawa #hq scenarios #hq headcanons #hq imagines #matsukawa imagines

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rintarousgirl · 9 months

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dating matsukawa issei is like...

a/n: please enjoy the headcanons! off topic but i have like 60 followers rn and i just want to say thank you very much and please send in requests!! beware of the smut below the cut (all smut is post timeskip)

★ - before dating matsukawa, you'd been crushing on him. and you'd been crushing on him for a while. ever since your first year of high school you'd found yourself growing incredibly fond of the heavy-lidded boy in your mathematics class.

★ - three years later, halfway through your third year, you confess to him on Valentine's Day. he's amused by your confession, watching you stare at your feet as you hold out a small box of chocolates and pink letter with neat handwriting out to him.

★ - it's more surprising to you when he accepts, curious and teasing the shy girl who'd confessed to the closed off matsukawa issei.

★ - he's very comfortable with you right off the bat, and there's no special milestones for things. he sits with you at lunch, or well, he drags you over to his table and introduces you to his volleyball friends.

★ - he always has an arm around your shoulders or waist. he likes holding you close to his side, enjoying how small you felt next to how tall he was. you certainly weren't complaining.

★ - loves hugging you from behind, resting his chin on your head and his hands dangling off your shoulders. also a big ego boost for him about his height.

★ - loves lazy cuddling in his bed. holds you close as the two of you watch a movie at his house. you groan when he falls asleep, but he grumbles and says, "how can I help it when you're so soft?"

★ - holds your chin when you kiss, so you can't get embarrassed and pull away. of course, if you want to stop, he will, but he won't let you hide. not from him.

★ - carries your bags and books for you in the school hallway.

★ - you have a box in his closet with all your belongings for when you're over there. sweatshirts, underwear, etc...

★ - handholding is a must. he's a surprisingly affectionate guy for seemingly being so lazy.

★ - buys your favorite flavor of chapstick so he always tastes good for you when you kiss. it's small, but it's sweet and thoughtful.

★ - always is sharing clothes with you. sometimes he'll purposefully leave his sweatshirts at your house in hopes you'll show up to school the next day.

★ - always buys you your favorite chocolates before dates. he'll stop by the store and grab them, even if you guys are just going to a picnic in the park or something.

★ - loves swimming. he loves to drag you and the other third-years to go swimming with him. is constantly pushing you off the dock and then jumping in after to you and pretending he didn't.

★ - is always willing to give piggyback rides when your feet/legs hurt. volleyball has built up a lot of muscle for him, and lifting you is no harder than lifting his baby brother.

★ - petnames include "baby, sugar, and sweetheart." along with multiple silly nicknames based on your name.

★ - dating matsukawa issei feels like summer all over again, even in the deep frostbite of japan's winter season. he's warm and soft and cuddly. he feels like late mornings in bed, sheets tangled and the sun peering in through the windows. it feels like freshly washed linen and blooming gardens. matsukawa issei feels like a breath of fresh air.

★ - matsukawa pins your wrists above you as you fuck, watching you gasp and squirm and be completely unable to do something about it as he overstimulates you.

★ - matsukawa can't keep his mouth off you. he's kissing your lips, your breasts, sucking deep marks into your neck, biting at your hips.

★ - matsukawa pounds into you until the sheets beneath you both are soaked with your fluids and the only noise leaving you are soft little "ah-ah-ah"'s.

★ - matsukawa loves to brush your hair from you eyes and watch as they cloud over with lust and want.

★ - matsukawa can't help but smirk and grow a bit hard when he sees you in your bathing suit.

★ - he loves sweet dirty talk.

★ - "can't help but touch you when you look so pretty just for me, baby."

★ - doesn't let you hide your face. "c'mon baby, let me see your face when you cum."

★ - is obsessed with eating you out. he loves the way you taste, and feels intoxicated when he's between your thighs. matsukawa issei is totally pussy drunk off you.

★ - he absolutely adores teasing you in public, watching you blush and bite your lip as your thighs rub together. you try so hard to maintain conversation with oikawa, iwaizumi, and hanamaki but you can't help the way you stutter and squirm as his hand brushes your clit, fingers touching you through your soaked panties.

★ - he loves it when you whine and cry for him.

★ "please," you gasp, reaching for him. he pins your hands above your head with one hand of his own, and your hips buck lightly. "i need you, issei."

★ - "shh, don't cry baby," he'll coo as he kisses your wet cheeks, "i'll touch you baby, i promise."

★ - he begs for just the tip after a stressful day at work, and he keeps his promise to go no further but you can't help the way you twitch and squirm. he'll hide his face in your neck, his hand firmly planted on your hip as he tries so hard not to bottom-out in you.

★ - laughs as your hands fumble with his belt, shaking and desperate for his cock.

★ - covers his mouth and hopes his groans are relatively quiet when you sneak under his desk while on a video call with his clients at the funeral home. tries his hardest to stay focused as you lick along his length and pop his tip into your mouth.

★ - loves semi-public sex. he'll fuck you in a closet at a family gathering, tease you under the table, grind against you behind the kitchen counter while everyone else is in the kitchen.

★ - has very high stamina and can easily go a handful of rounds. your pleasure always comes before his anyway.

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renalord · 10 months

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༅ pairing: (seperately) suna, matsukawa, bokuto, iwaizumi, atsumu, tanaka, kiyoko, saeko, yachi x fem term!reader

༅ synopsis: they react to your ig post for the first time.

༅ warnings: fem terms used (as stated in pairings), cursing, mention of a gun, mention of death, spit in atsumu's, they love you.

༅ authors note: this was inspired by the lovely @/fuckytown! their work is great, go check them out! inspired by their "first impressions" post. also im back from my indefinitely long hiatus and this was my first post.. i cringed so hard.

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hxltic · 1 year

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I’M SORRY. MASTUKAWA ISSEI

• 200 FOLLOWERS!! 😻😻😻

• Genre: smut

• Warnings: female reader, college, slight angst at first, overstimulation, rough counter sex, choking, hair pulling, degradation, daddy kink, cunnilingus, pretty long but please don’t let it scare you off lol

-I just love comfort roommate Mattsun

You slept horribly. You thank the universe your classes had mercy. Though you still called into work, unfortunately, and even more to your demise— there was a huge sale that made folding restock clothes a pain.

Slumping through the door, getting your shower in, and throwing on the first shirt you found from the laundry room was very efficient until you got into bed.

You lay there.

Comfortably uncomfortable.

You were hot, but taking the covers off wasn’t an option. You felt every fiber or hair against your body. Your feet were cold. A growling noise erupted from your stomach.

Angrily, the covers are thrown off, where you stomp your way to the kitchen while dismissing the new breeze of air brushing your skin. No jacket, in shorts, waltzing around the apartment scavenging for food. You wish the feeling of the air conditioning didn’t bother you as much as the sound did, because it printed an obvious sign of irritation on your face.

Then the fire alarm beeped.

Taking a deep breath, you begrudgingly conclude yourself unsuccessful in finding something to nibble on. When you turn around, the corner of the kitchen table seemed to stick out more than usual.

Lo and behold it hit the corner of your already cold foot. You drop to your elbows on the counter in annoyance where hold your head, tugging probably unhealthily at your eyes from stress, trying your best not to fall to the ground and cry.

You immediately removed even the thought of tears when the door sounded.

“Honey I’m home.” Mattsun closes the door behind him.

He just got back from afternoon classes with only a handful of groceries. Your roommate started the “I’m home” thing as a joke, yet it carried farther than that as time went on. You correct yourself and try to help with the groceries at least a little bit, picking up what you could find in the bags and placing them in their correct spot.

Mattsun could obviously tell something was off the second he walked in. He watched you stutter and quickly regather yourself even though it looked as if you were on the verge of tears. He would’ve asked why by now, if he didn’t know that you probably didn’t know yourself. He was right. You didn’t.

Hard days never got to you, but as the homework piled up with your micromanaging boss, it went straight to the mini notepad in your brain listing all you had to do. It was fine until you had to flip to the next page, then the ink started getting all runny. You aren’t sure what caused it; but it happened. You held the milk mindlessly in your hand.

Mattsun scooted behind you towards the refrigerator. You were in the area between the island and the main counter, causing his front to press up against you innocently, an angered grunt dropping from your lips.

“Could you not go around?” You turn to him swiftly, your palm facing upwards to emphasize your feelings.

“Didn’t really think it mattered. You calling me fat?” He opened the refrigerator door. Usually you’d laugh, but it only turned your brows farther inwards.

“Yeah, it does. Go the other fucking way.” You spat. With the roll of your eyes, you slid the milk into the already opened fridge. You stepped back so that Matsukawa could close it, hand already on the handle—but when nothing happened, you turned around to see the tall male staring at you in disbelief. He literally just got home.

“…What?”

“The hell is up with you?” He asks regularly.

“Nothing,” you shrug and brush it off, “it was just unnecessary.”

“Well it’s clearly something,” he retaliates, “I’ve been practically crucified the ten seconds I’ve been here.” He closes the door and laughs humorlessly to himself.

“Whatever. It’s nothing.”

He starts, “Really? The-“

“God-it’s nothing! It’s nothing.”

The aggressive hand motions come back, then you finally take about four different things from the second-to-last bag and put them up hastily, even in your tired state.

He observes you from the counter with every step you take and every heavy breath you let in. Like you’re fighting an entire war with yourself.

It finally clicked in his mind: he said the wrong things in the wrong moment, and it wasn’t what you needed right now. He just wished he would’ve noticed sooner.

“Hey, my bad—I’m sorry. Should’ve went around.”

His voice wasn’t careless now, but soft. You heard him but just moved on to the last bag. Before you can pull something out, he takes it and tells you that you can go lay down. Better yet, that he’d handle everything else.

“It’s fine, I can do it.” You reach again and he pulls it away. “Give it.” The quicker you are, quicker he is.

You sigh and pull back. You wanted to slap the shit out of him but he wouldn’t budge.

“Do you always have to be like this?”

He cocks his head to the side. He was curious. It could tell how you actually feel about him, the kind of things you don’t tell people to their face.

“Like what?”

“Aggravatingly annoying,” you blatantly answered.

His expression changed for a second. He refuses to get louder, only talking in a low volume, casual tone.

“That I am.”

“Why can’t you just come in and go to your room to study or something?”

“I will next time.”

“Why do you always have to be by me?”

Hm…

Accepting it and having it your way he felt was the best thing to do. He’s been called annoying before, even irritating due to his constant teasing. But hearing it from you—really the main one he talks to that isn’t Makki— hurt a bit. You saw his eyes widen for a slight half a second more before reverting to his usual apathetic face.

He knew you didn’t mean it. He knew you were overstimulated. Giving in to you and whatever you said was what you needed, not someone to fight you on things. Yeah it fucking hurt; however, you were speaking out of temporary emotion rather than logic or feelings, so if not stressing you out in this way was what he’d have to do, he’d do it.

The truth was: you really couldn’t stand being by him. Hearing him walk in while you read in your bed, then casually throw his things to the wall and flop down at your feet. Or when you would come in later and he’d be sat criss cross on the couch, a spot waiting for you right next to him. You couldn’t decipher if these were regular friendly activities or not and it swam through your mind all throughout the day.

Was it just his personality? Did it mean anything to him? Were you being dramatic? All the hugs, the studying, the dinner nights. Were those dates? Did they have the same effect on him that they had on you? Were they even on purpose?

The silence was deafening and palpable, the gaze he held intimidatingly normal. Didn’t you just yell at him? How is he so calm? You had come back to your senses, staring up at his non-changing face, ready to say something.

“I-“

“Do I need any reason more than I want to be?” He utters first delicately.

There wasn’t a hint of negative energy. It made you sad, just how much he’d do for you. You actually almost wish he would’ve gotten mad.

He’s never once yelled at you, called you out for dumb things like breaking a glass bowl, or not being taught some things around the house. You just let out an entire day’s worth of anger onto him and said something that was nowhere close to what you feel. You even used him as a placeholder for what you wish you could say to your boss. He is always so, so good to you.

He watches as your eyes suddenly get tighter and your eyebrows inch upwards. You’ve done nothing but look at him, yet the mere thought of what you said and what he’s actually done forces you to drop your head slowly and take a few steps forward into his chest. Droplets fall silently to the tiled floor.

His arms softly found their way around you.

“I’m sorry.” You mumble.

“You’re okay.”

He hugs you back, progressively getting softer with every passing minute. Not “It’s okay,” “You’re okay.” Sometime later, you pull back with a deep breath, and you send a tight lip smile to him. Then while he puts away the discarded item (that was previously fought over), you hop up on the island counter.

“Okay. I’m better now.”

“Good.” He closes the fridge. Your legs sway back and forth. You’ll try to explain what happened, even if you know it won’t justify the outbursts directed at him.

“Hey I didn’t mean it.”

“I kno-“

“No, no, wait.” You interrupt.

Dark eyebrows raise and his arms cross as he leans back against the counter in front of you to listen. He nods, telling you to go on.

“I’m so stressed. I just had a really, really bad day and put you at the end of it. I do really enjoy your company—I promise—It’s just…it’s just I don’t really-”

You think for a moment and sigh before your head drops into your palms again. It was because your mind was racing to find the words. Do you tell him? Would it count as a confession?

“I don’t even know anymore. Do you ever…um…”

“Take your time.” He sits patiently.

Damn, did you have to trip over your own words now?

“…What do the dates that you plan usually look like?”

He seemed lost in thought for a second, prior to returning towards the sight of you nervously twiddling your fingers. He noticed the emphasis on the word ‘plan,’ as if you were trying to differentiate between real dates from him and whatever the hangouts you two had were. Saving you the trouble, he’d just tell you.

“I like you.”

…huh?

The sudden confession makes your eyes almost pop out of your head. That was not the answer you were expecting, but not the answer you didn’t want.

“What?” You whisper. You did hear that correctly, right?

He goes on to elaborate with a sigh and a shrug.

“Listen, I’ve been through a million different of these confessions and I don’t want that delay with you. I like you a lot, period.”

It was a while back ago when Mattsun decided he’d focus on you alone. He cleared his phone, and (which you noticed) somewhat cleared his defiled reputation of past debauchery. Many older women have came up to him asking if he actually would pursue during his libertine phase, to which he’d respond no, so he has experienced almost every subtle confession ever made. It was like déja vu.

Wide-eyed you sit. That was a lot easier than you expected; you were worrying all for nothing. The bearing weight that had you in a hold was finally lifted.

“So all of those were-“

“Yes. I haven’t done that with anyone else and I prefer to keep it that way.”

Your heart probably jumps in your chest and your eyes light up. A wide smile inches its way onto your face, and it almost dies down when you remember what you did, but he brings it back with a light, mature smile of his own. After all this time he actually was crushing on you like you were him. You never, ever could deny the way you were eager to see him once he would return from his classes and crash the night with you.

Speaking of crash, a sudden returning wave of exhaustion brushes your body. You ignore it though. There are better things.

“Well, that’s somehow where I was going; I like you a lot too. But if I actually asked you would you say yes? I know how-”

“That depends. Does it come with a ring?”

You stop and your dimples start to show as a smile crawls onto your face, again, “Um…no?“

“Then I object.”

He uncrosses his arms and walks unhurriedly between your legs. He was so content, large hands brushing up your thigh from the knee.

“Yes, I would,” he admits delightedly whilst gingerly coming closer in the face, “the ring comes later though.” He’d whisper a breath away from your lips. You’d wondered how you could be so lucky, the confession not even falling from your sheepish mouth, and still end up with the same outcome. When his eyes go from yours to the plump of your mouth; So, so ready to feel him on you, your eyes close and anticipate him.

Nothing happens. Once your eyes open and he stands there mockingly with the trademark grin (still only hovering an inch away from your nose), if you didn’t know any better you would’ve shoved him away and hopped off the counter to your room for playing with your feelings. But Mattsun was just being Mattsun. First he laughs genuinely at how gullible you are. Then, his trail of sight goes back to your lips unashamedly once more with a dimple-showcasing smirk. He slowly pushes a falling strand of hair away, and slightly turns his head to melt into you with a hand on your cheek sweetly.

You could feel the free smile that was on his lips as he kissed you. It was cute. The kind of things you see in movies at little coffee shops riding along the street. It was unlike him, an unfamiliar feeling this was—like sunlight rather than a rainy or cloudy day. It sounds stupid, but Matsukawa is always slow moving and effective. Watching tv with your legs kicked up or tucked in a blanket as the pitter-patter of the rain decided the kismet of your day. The lambent lighting of the morning making it significantly darker than it usually is with the blinds open.

He caught you before you were too far gone by groaning happily. Throughout it, the entirety of your mind was buzzed by the way your lips gracefully slow danced against his on the counter of your shared apartment. It felt so good seeing him just utterly happy, especially with you. Warm and steady like molasses in January. His fingers eventually connected in the small of your back. You were still tired so his energy was just as lazy as your own; like when your hands floated around his neck and feathered through his hair.

He did it as if it had been years since he was kissed. Yearning for absolutely any ounce of touch from someone. He was accidentally pushing into you, needing to be closer, your arch slowly getting deeper.

The second he pulled away for necessary air, he caught the crevices of your thighs and pulled you with him. Now that the hard part was done he’d give you the full experience.

“What are you doing?”

“Relieving stress.”

He pushes a leg up and over his own shoulder. His hands are placed directly atop your abdomen to apply light pressure as he kisses away the nerves from the main fat of your body gently. Remember all that cute stuff? Yeah, it just diminished the second he decided to eat you out on the marble counter.

You’re not very sure how it led to something like this, something like him pulling your shorts and panties off together. Once there, his mouth felt great against your clit, mainly when he’d stop and suck right between. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t dreamt of this from someone before because the form of the pink muscle inside you is unmistakable. So unmistakable even, that the feeling of the slurp that makes you squirm seemingly flows through your veins to your head like blood.

When Mattsun eats you out, he does it with precision. He knows where he wants to go and how he’ll get there. Compared to others he wasn’t as messy, but maybe that comes from the fact he’d prefer his fingers working inside of you. He’d love to watch your face contort on nothing but his hand because he knows it’s a favorited body part of his. He knows you’d love it. But, he will cup his mouth over you and give the same effect nonetheless.

And you loved that about him. He was careless, not nonchalant.

He was clingy, but independent.

He had morals, just not enough to get boring like when he jumped in the ball case in the store.

He was extremely opinionated, (especially when you asked him small questions like if he liked a shirt) but he also doesn’t care enough to convince you out of something you liked.

He’s hot, but also couldn’t care less about his appearance at times.

He was a walking juxtaposition.

And usually, when you’re alone, the relaxation of your mind helps you get off faster. This was the case, and going over his traits and features was clearly working well because now only your upper back was on the counter and anything below that point was lifted with his large hands. Both legs were in his possession. Your breaths were heavy and when your waist moves on him, his shoulders follow his head. Your own head moves to each side, but he doesn’t seem to care, this was incidental when he was holding your hips close to him so your wetness spread right under his nose. He was feeding off you since there was nowhere to run.

He’d tell you to sit still a bit but he likes the challenge. He likes watching your waist go back and forth as your pussy basically cries his name, and he would print his initials in hickeys on you if that’s what it called for. Others call it sadistic, he calls it motivation.

He could literally take both hands off of you and still be upright—the only reason he didn’t was because you’d probably make yourself fall. Though he did get close, a hand coming right up through your shirt to massage your breast. You unconsciously crossed your legs behind his neck in reaction. Damn, he was good.

He groans through you, and you wish you could watch but holding yourself together was a ground-breaking job. He hit each spot perfectly with complete control of his tongue and your shoulders were starting to hurt from bearing your own body weight.

His height made this fairly difficult but nothing he couldn’t handle—having to crouch in front of a pretty girl was the last of his worries. With your thighs covering his ears and temple, he sucked away. He was honestly glad he did this now rather than later, knowing you, you probably would’ve refused clamping on his head so you wouldn’t crush him or something like that. Mattsun believed his breath regulation was pretty okay considering he almost even got into swimming, but if by slim chance he did die he believed suffocating like this was preferred.

His tongue was literally inside of you. The only thing preventing your brain from fuzzing and your head from throwing back was there would be nothing left on the counter to hold your weight.

Once your heavy breathing developed to jagged and your heavyset eyes started to close, he set you back down gracefully. He heard your pleas but held out for as long as he could. Many “Mattsun please’s“ and “Mattsun I’s” later, he would finally relieve you; He knew his girl could do it.

He spent the last portion of your orgasm fulfilling his own desires and working you from the inside. He moved positions to rest on his left elbow and lean over your face, staring into your eyes, brows upturned and a smile showing. Was it a pity smile? Maybe, but it was for sure the face of amusement as you break down beneath him.

“H-holy shit…‘Sei- s’right there,” you declared.

“Huh? What is?”

A very implying whine followed. Matsukawa scooped his arm under your head like a pillow, his left hand turning your chin to face him. He loved that face. That pretty face only dusted with fatigue and sadness but smothered in want. That same face he’ll get to see whenever he looks down. Huh. Maybe he was a little sadistic.

Your body scrunched and your knees came up in ecstasy.

“Talk to me,” he says, but you barely could keep your eyes open the way he was avoiding the spot on purpose. You wondered how he did it, already having learned your body and how you reacted so well in such a short time. You were so close already and he was gonna ruin it, even though you’d probably still find a way to cum anyway.

You tried your best to muster up something and prayed he’d take it.

“Faster,” you ordered. No response. Actually instead of doing what you said, he pulled them out, assumingely because of the sudden attitude. You immediately went to apologize. He was actively in charge of your body, after all.

You verbally groan in annoyance, to where you hear a responding muffled giggle, so you open your eyes to see what happened.

You meet a view of his smiling jawline, looking down past the counter. His hand was still beneath your chin, almost as if he was protecting you from being uncomfortable, but his teeth held his shirt up as he used whatever was left on his fingers to jerk himself off. This was the disruption in question.

He didn’t mean to basically abandon you, but undoing the jawstring and letting himself free seemed like it would benefit everyone. And he was big. You’d seen big, but he was big all the way around.

You watched in awe as his fingers left a shine of gloss behind when they reached the reddening tip from the bottom.

He threw his head back and groaned in relief, finally being reminded what it felt like to be touched with someone else’s presence.

“Sorry, couldn’t resist.”

With a look to your impatient, shocked eyes, he knew you wanted it. Needed it almost.

He pressed off the counter with his elbow but left his hand under your head. Such a gentleman. Lifting both legs up, with a hand stretched under your knees like a baby, he spoke to you.

“You want it?” He’d ask. You’d nod aggressively, to where he’d ask again. “You gotta tell me.”

“Yes, I do.” You pleaded. Of course your head rolled slightly on his hand to see his face around your legs.

“Alright. Tell me when you wanna stop. Safeword is green.”

You’d never once said a safeword during sex and you doubt you’d use it now. Plus, Issei wouldn’t hurt you.

Intentionally.

You felt him pull your legs apart and hold them where they were previously scrunched up at your breasts. Finally, he rubbed you one last time, before the tip slowly started to diminish inside of you.

It’s amazing how the body makes fluid for moments like these. It’s also amazing how wet Mattsun got you so it’d hurt ten times less.

When he stopped moving about halfway there, he hung over your body almost menacingly; his silhouette breathing deeply and whatever necklace he had on from the day dangling. Your face contorted at the intrusion and your eyes unexpectedly swelled, making you lachrymose. It definitely could’ve been worse, but fuck he was big.

The ravenette slipped his shirt off and your head slid off his hand painlessly, the overwhelming heat from everywhere flowing to his brain. He almost couldn’t take it. You were so wet but so fucking tight at the same time, he couldn’t even bring himself to keep going. He bent over to meet you with a kiss on the jaw and his hand found your own so you could squeeze it as he went on. He buried his face in your neck.

“O-okay, you can move now,” you managed.

No response.

“Issei?” You pushed his hair aside with the hand that wasn’t in his so you could see him. His eyes were closed and his breathing was seeking stabilization through his mouth.

“Fucking just- gimme a second. Please.”

You knew it was pure desire and he was trying his best not to hurt you. He would promise ‘til death that he tried to stop, to take it slow, but it was irresistible the second you giggled at his current state (that you caused) and your stomach contracted with him inside. He immediately pushed forward so that he was balls deep into the fluttering feeling.

“Matts—”

The sudden squeeze on his hand could cut off circulation and the grunt that emitted from his body over and over as he continued to do it couldn’t be missed. At this point it didn’t even hurt anymore, but the previously denied orgasm returned full force.

Mattsun, of course, would apologize later; but it wasn’t later yet. He finally lifted himself off you and gathered your legs once more so your ankles were at his ears, trying to feel more of the ribbed walls on either side. Your mouth fell open at the spot.

“Ha-hohfuck ‘m gonna cum.” You whispered.

“Mhmm? Let me feel it baby,” He leaned over again, almost testing your flexibility, running a hand along your cheek and swiping away a single tear that dropped from earlier while his forehead was against yours. Now that he knew how far you could go, he’d have a lot of fun with the positions he’d put you in.

“Fuck, fuck-!” You’d find him through your lashes so he could kiss you, the never ending thrusts seemingly reaching your belly button. He loved sucking on those pretty lips of yours.

He only let out a laugh of satisfaction as you stilled and stiffened around him, your arms roaming his back and head turning away. He continued to thrust downward, never letting up speed, causing you to writhe underneath him with every curl of his hips. He did eventually pull away and extend his arms though. It was for a nice view of your body.

His length slipping in and out as a white ring forms that’ll signify how many times he’s made you cum; your breasts through the shirt following your body back and forth; the already fucked out face you wield accompanied with a yawn—it was all so much, he almost couldn’t look anymore. In fact, he won’t.

He grabbed you and pulled you further down the marble so you could roll over, your wriggling body basically halfway there. Up you go by your hair, that flexibility coming in to play a second time while he fucked you. When you moaned at the tug, he wouldn’t be Mattsun if he didn’t tease you for it.

“Wow, who would’ve guessed. You like when I pull your hair?”

“Yes daddy,” you respond. It was almost instantaneous. You wished you could’ve said you meant to do it, but it was honestly an accident.

His thrusts slightly change, you wish you could say how. He dropped your head forcefully, took both of your wrists behind your back, and pulled you up by your throat. Your neck was strained trying to face him but you couldn’t help it, you had to listen when he was talking to you. He was amused, to say the least—especially when you stopped listening because of the way he was barely brushing that sweet nerve.

“That’s a filthy mouth of yours. Who knew you were such a slut?” He’d grin into your ear. “Mgh- since you’ve gotten so good at it, why don’t you tell daddy what you want?”

As long as you’ve known him, he’s made you say things you wouldn’t have even thought of saying prior. But right now? You couldn’t care less.

“Mmm,” you whimper, “h-harder daddy.”

You’re not sure how he unscrambled what you said with his hand restricting your throat and the other intermittent babble coming out of your mouth, but if anyone could, it was him. Mattsun was defiant and dominant, but when it came to your genuine pleasure, he’d gratify.

Teasing aside obviously.

With the slightest bend of his knees, he angled himself and thrusted farther upwards. Did you doubt he would remember where you’re g-spot was? You were choking up more than you already were and his name slipped off your tongue as if it were a veneration statement of butter. Your ass sounded throughout the apartment, the skin-on-skin contact loud enough for the neighbors to hear. The force was turning it red and Matsukawa loved it. He loved when the pussy talked back too.

In fact, you could tell, because he was gradually speeding up and his thrusts were slowly becoming sporadic.

“Oh shit-I’mmna-” You started.

“Come on it. Come on this dick so you can tell everyone you did it twice.”

“Mhmm.”

“You can tell all your little friends you’re mine and I’m yours.”

“Yes daddy…”

“Come so you find all the women I’ve ever talked to and tell them you’re the only one I want.”

With that, your eyebrows leveled out and your eyes shut while trying to process the sex drive and sweet believable words at the same time. Your body held onto Mattsun for dear life, to where he let go of your throat and held you close on the fall back down to your elbows. You were exhausted, but that grip your pussy still had on him was deadly. Deadly enough for him to slightly question whether you’d be a bad mom or not.

He obviously chose against it and sighed along your back while you came before pulling out. You turned around and crouched knowingly with whatever strength was left, then watched him jerk himself off above you. After you decided to take matters into your own hands (literally), he held himself up with his support on the counter. His head hanging over you while you stroked the other was a sight to remember.

With a final hiss, white decorated your face like a picture.

“Holy fuck,” his head faced the ceiling as he ran a hand over his face. The view he was met with when he came back down was insane, your hand curved behind his thigh and the other milking him dry of whatever was left. With a single bud of cum remaining, you licked your lips and smiled weakly.

What the hell would he do with you?

©hxltic

#haikyuu!!#haikyū!!#haikyuu headcanons #haikyu x reader #haikyuu smut #god i want him so bad #matsukawa x y/n #mattsun imagines #mattsun smut #mattsun #mattsun <3 #hq matsukawa #matsukawa issei #haikyuu hcs #issei smut

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aftersamu · 1 year

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LABYRINTH PAIRING: suna rintarou x gn!reader ( + issei matsukawa) GENRE: angst PART ONE: WE DIDN'T EVEN DATE

it's been three months since you last saw suna, your best friend. you two haven't spoken, texted, and for the slim chance you catch him in public – you turn the other way.

you never got back to him on his offer, the one and only time he tried to reach out. you couldn't face him, or your feelings.

but as bad as it sounds, things have been okay.

it's a new chapter, one without suna, and surprisingly, one that you're happy to be living. sometimes the grey aura that dims the world and vision of your eyes appears at the memory and photo's of him. though, over the last few weeks, the grey disappears.

because of him.

he who swooped in like prince charming. the boy who let you cry in his arms and never expected anything in return. the boy who waited days, months, years for you.

the boy who slowly bandaged up your heart, held your hand, and listened to you as a friend. the boy that teased you, made you cry of laughter, and blew away that grey cloud.

you're happy.

happy with a boy that throws flour in your face, burns your eggs, and infuriates you. happy with a boy that lets you steal the covers, always pays for you, always makes you smile and feel seen.

things are good. he's good.

"hey."

the voice stops you in your tracks, your hand freezing in front of the packet of chips. you slowly shift your gaze, meeting those familiar green eyes that you haven't seen in three months.

"hi," you choke out.

"where have you been?" suna asks, "haven't heard from you in a while."

"uh, yeah, i've been busy lately."

"i've missed having you around," he says, "no one to beat at mario cart." he jokes, trying to reduce the tension.

"oh." you nod, glancing around the aisle hoping that he will magically appear around the corner and save you from this metaphorical hell. it sucks. the feeling of being here with him as a wave of nostalgia crashes over you, pushing you to run back to him.

"how come you, uh, never called?"

"i didn't think i needed to," you say. "and i needed some space, sometimes to think."

"so... what did you think about?" he asks, standing in front of you with his hands shoved into the pocket of his hoodie. "please be honest with me."

"i thought about how i'm going to spend my whole life loving you, even if you'll never love me back." you say, fighting back the lump in your throat, "and i thought about how i'd curse you for the longest time, and haunt my mind about everything that we could've been."

it's embarrassing and dramatic, to dump all of this on him now. but there's a voice in your mind saying that this is the last time you're ever going to see him.

"i thought that maybe i could call you and change everything, that we could go back to normal."

"do you still think that?" he mumbles.

"no. not really," you sigh. "i managed to get over it."

"there you are!" matsukawa smiles, strolling over with a basket in hand filled with junk food for your movie night. "okay, so get this i found sour patch kids! last one!"

if he had noticed suna standing there, he pretended he didn't. but the second you saw him, suna noticed that glimmer in your eyes, the growing grin on lips, and the way you relaxed around him.

you're falling in love.

in love with someone that's not him.

and you got over suna fast.

it says a lot about how right a person is treating you, doesn't it?

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xfgpng · 10 months

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“𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐤𝐞”

— : [nsfw ] fingering, unprotected sex, fluffy, getting together, squirting, pet names + best friends to lovers

— : wc : 3.5k

“you .. like him” kaori grins. she looks far too smug about this entire situation and it’s only making you angrier.

“i do not like him!” you snap, crossing your arms and turning towards the window of the café you frequented with your so called best friend.

“sure you don’t” kaori says, nodding solemnly and you know she’s mocking you again.

you wouldn’t even be having this conversation if it wasn’t for the fact that your high school crush turned annoying roommate had brought yet another one of his dates home.

they don’t have sex, it’s happened twice and you yelled at him for 3 hours straight because you had to study and the sounds kept you up right into the next morning.

the only issue now, is that the girls he brings over try to talk to you and ask too many questions about him. mattsukawa issei. they always fall for his laid back personality and that stupid smug smile he always has in place and it’s pointless because he never brings any of them back after the first time.

you’d feel sorry for them but you don’t. it’s not because you’re jealous because you’re not, he’s been your friend since your first year of high school and that’s it. you just don’t like having to deal with a new “girlfriend” every morning when you’re just trying to enjoy your morning tea and the soft, fluffy eggs issei always make for you.

“have you ever wondered why mattsun never settles?” she asks, reaching for her iced coffee and it’s ridiculous the way she insists on drinking cold drinks during the cold winters. you could barely feel your fingertips.

“no, i don’t think about mattsun’s love life” you say dryly, “as long as he pays his half of the rent and keeps making those fluffy scrambled eggs, i don’t need to know why he can’t keep it in his pants”

kaori laughs likes she knows something you don’t and if you weren’t in public, you’d jump over the table to ring her neck but you scoff, reaching for your own drink. something much warmer for the weather.

“i’m just saying” she shrugs, “maybe he already knows what he wants but he thinks it’s unrequited so he just wastes his time until he can eventually get over it”

“which seems impossible since he’s been pining since forever” she adds before you can tell her to shut up.

“i’m done having this conversation with you” you frown, “i can’t believe i paid for your coffee”

“you love me” kaori laughs and reaches to steal your half eaten muffin before you can snatch it from your plate.

you and issei have always been close. you would spend a lot of your free time with him and makki in and out of school and the three of you still did almost everything together.

when you got your apartment, you had been scared to live alone. it wasn’t that you couldn’t be independent or be on your own, you just didn’t think being so far away from the home you knew, all the way in tokyo, could settle your nerves.

he was the first person you spoke to about moving and it was around the same time he decided he liked the idea of staying in tokyo and moving on from your hometown and it’s how you two ended up living together.

makki still visited you both every other weekend and you’d often tease him about being a trust fund baby.

the problem was that you knew issei was good looking, he always had been but he grew into his looks the older you got and you hadn’t realised just how much until the first girl he brought home. you were a little taken aback but he insisted you meet her because he cared about your opinion more than he cared about anyone else’s.

and there was only so much you could say after the 4th girl so you’d purposely hide yourself in your own bedroom, grateful for getting a place that had 3 bathrooms. you rarely needed to sneak out unless you were hungry. it was a win-win situation for you but issei didn’t like that you were avoiding him so he’d bother you in your own bedroom despite having a guest over in his own and if you tried to lock it, he’d knock and make a noise until you inevitably gave in like you always did when it came to him.

of course you loved him and you knew that he loved you too. he was probably one of the most important people in your life and it’s why you would not acknowledge whatever feelings you had because it was easier than messing up years of a good, no, great friendship.

“maybe he’s doing it on purpose” kaori grins, after finishing your breakfast muffin.

“doing what on purpose?” you raise a brow, wishing the conversation about issei would just end. you both had a class after this but her mind was clearly focused on teasing you.

“you said it yourself, he’s not sleeping with them anymore” she smirks, “at least not in your apartment so why bring them over?”

“i don’t know kao, maybe he’s just bored” you shrug and even you know that’s bullshit. you were great company so if he really wanted to hangout, he’d bother you and makki.

“how do you know he’s not sleeping with them anyway?” she asks and even though you know she’s baiting you, you can’t help yourself.

“… well” you clear your throat, “he obviously knows what he’s doing..”

she grins, hiding her satisfied smile being her cup but you still see the glint in her eyes anyway.

“don’t start” you scoff, rolling your eyes, “i’ve heard enough things okay? let’s drop it”

“whatever you say sweetheart” she winks and you get up to leave before you end up in jail.

“you can’t leave without me!” she calls after you, “you’re my ride and my best friend in the whole world”

you ignore her as you walk towards your car. you’d never leave her despite how much she frustrates you but the thought is enticing.

the apartment is warm when you enter, the sound of his favourite playlist playing from the tv in the living room but the smell of food is always welcoming and you hold back a groan as you remove your shoes and place your bag on the couch nearby the door.

“oh, you’re early” he grins, “hi cutie”

you’re too tired to chastise him for the nickname. he’d just call you something else to get a rise out of you and your day had been long.

“yeah” you yawn, leaning your body against the door as you close your eyes for a moment. you really could use a hot bath or shower and a nap before dinner.

“aw my big baby” he coos, coming up to lift you up like he does when you’ve had a little too much to drink or when you fall asleep during movie night on the couch. you don’t even protest, hiding your face in the crook of his neck as he carries you to your bedroom.

“i need—”

“i know baby” he grins down at you, “i’ll run you a bath and then you can nap until dinner”

you hum, rubbing your hands over your face as you reach to put your phone on charge.

“need help undressing?” he teases and you kick his thigh, causing him to laugh as he walks into your bathroom.

you can’t help but frown at how domestic you both tend to be around each other. everything is so natural and you know you can be yourself around issei without the fear of judgement or rejection.

you’re starting to understand why your own relationships tend to fail before it gets too serious. you’ve been comparing everyone to him your whole life and it’s laughable.

“did you fall asleep?” he asks when he comes back to check on you.

“no” you roll your eyes but the way his face softens whenever he looks at you has your heart beating a little faster than normal. you could easily blame it on kaori getting into your head again, even if she was right.

“thank you” you say after a moment, “wasn’t it my turn to make dinner?”

“yeah but i got home early and i know you’re tired” he shrugs, “you can make it up to me when you’re doing your skincare routine”

“you just want to use my expensive products” you say but you can’t hide your smile even if you tried, “get out, i’m going to relax”

“don’t fall asleep in the bath” he warns and you glare up at him as you get closer to your bathroom door

“that was one time!” you frown. he also saw you very naked that day and you can’t get the image of the light dust of pink across his nose and cheeks. you knew he wasn’t celibate so him seeing you makes should’ve been normal but he blushed. you would’ve teased him then if you weren’t so embarrassed about the entire situation.

“enjoy your bath” he chuckles, leaning down to kiss your forehead before he’s walking back down the hall towards the kitchen and living room.

you try not to think about the way he always takes care of you like this. he always had and probably always would.

“do you want some wine?” he grins, leaning against the doorframe of your bathroom with your favourite wine.

“don’t you knock?” you frown but make grabby hands for the glass.

“you’re covered up with bubbles and besides, i’ve seen enough” he smirks and you glare at him.

“only because you’re a pervert” you add dryly, “thank you for the wine and making dinner”

“baby don’t thank me for the bare minimum” issei rolls his eyes, “you need to eat”

you don’t mention the fact that your shitty exes never cared this much for you. you didn’t exactly have the greatest track record with dating and you were starting to realise why.

baby

“okay get out” you pout, “i need to get done”

“need me to scrub your back?” he asks softly and even though he’s obviously teasing you, you know if you said yes he’d do it.

“you can” you grin and turn away from him as you take a sip from the wine. it tastes perfect like always and you bite back an appreciative moan.

“you’re so spoiled” he scoffs but he’s rolling up the sleeves of his favourite sweater and leans beside the bathtub to reach for your soap. it was his favourite scent of peaches and cream because it often reminded him of you.

“yeah yeah” you yawn, tilting your head sideways so he can get your neck too.

“no dates tonight?” you ask after a moment. he hasn’t really been staying out late like he usually does and you haven’t seen anyone new around lately.

“i enjoy nights in with you too you know?” he frowns

“i know” you grin, “i’m just messing with you”

he kisses your nape before standing to his full height. he doesn’t want to think about how much he wants to climb into the bath with you.

“get changed and i’ll dish everything up for us” he smiles, “i’ll top up your wine”

“sounds good” you stretch, still not facing him, “but i’ll have a soda or something because i don’t wanna get drunk off wine”

he laughs and shakes his head. he knew how much of a lightweight you were when it came to wine.

the evening blurred after you ate. you weren’t as sleepy as you thought you’d be and you finally had a day off to just rest anyway so you’d have the day to sleep.

“ready for dessert?” he asks and you laugh, leaning your head on the backrest of the couch, “what did you get?”

“you mentioned wanting cheesecake the other day” he shrugs, bringing over the tiny dessert with a spoon, “i saw that new bakery you wanted to try and got it on the way home”

“you’re husband material” you grin and he laughs

“you did say you’d marry me” issei smirks

“i was a kid!” you scoff, “don’t even try it”

he flicks your nose before joining you on the couch. you had two one seaters and a loveseat that was just big enough for three people since issei insisted on getting a bigger one when you first found your apartment.

it didn’t matter how much space you had in your apartment, you seemed to gravitate towards each other.

“should we watch something?” you asks as he places your legs over his lap and keeps his freehand on your knee.

he reaches for the tv remote as you get comfortable and you can’t help but watch him as he scrolls through all the tv shows you told him about. he’s pretty, despite being rough around the edges.

he’s always been so tall and well built and you often said that he had broad shoulders so you had a place to lean on when you had a particularly shitty day. his hands were big and despite their intimidating appearance, they were soft to the touch and he knew how to be gentle when he needed to be.

“what are you thinking about?” he grins when he catches you looking at him. you’re not that shy to look away when your eyes meet.

“you” you say because it’s the truth.

“yeah?” he tilts his head sideways, “what about me?”

“your hands” you shrug, “i just think they’re soft, that’s all”

“oh?” he chuckles and runs his hand up your sides until he reaches your jaw, “soft?”

you nod as he grazes your lower lip with his thumb. he’s closer than he’s ever been to you, with your legs thrown over his lap and he could kiss—

he cuts your train of thoughts as he leans in closer, your noses touching as he looks down at your lips.

“can i kiss you?” he asks

“please” you say, already abandoning the cheesecake in favour of wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer.

his lips as as soft as you imagined them to be and you figured he’d be a good kisser but the way he gently kisses your lips before deepening the kiss is nothing like you imagined it would be.

it’s so much better and you can’t help the tiny moan when he wraps his hand gently around your neck to keep you in place.

“fuck” he whispers, pressing his forehead against yours, “i.. i’ve wanted to do that for a long time”

“why didn’t you?” you ask, just as breathless as he pulls you onto his lap.

“i would never want to ruin our friendship y/n” he says, “you know how much i love you, i can’t—”

“it’s okay” you shush him, kissing his forehead, “I wanted to kiss you too”

“so you do like me?” he grins and it makes you feel better knowing he would never try to make anything uncomfortable for you.

“you’re such a loser” you roll your eyes but your hands in his hair is too distracting and he really wants to kiss you again so he does.

“take me to bed” you say and he nods, lifting you up easily and carrying you down the hall to his bedroom.

you’ve been inside his room many times but never like this and you find that you’re not nervous about anything. all your thoughts are occupied with him and the way he kisses you and slowly removes your clothing.

he’s taking his time, mapping out the feeling of your body underneath his hands and the way you look laid out on his sheets, in his bed.

issei could never get over how beautiful you are and even if he’s seen you naked before, it was so different when you were like this and all for him.

he wants to tease you and take his time but he also knows that after your first kiss, there was no going back. he had to have you all the time.

for as long as you’d have him.

“spread your legs for me baby” he says as he removes his sweatpants and he smirks at the way your eyes travel down his bed down to his cock. he knows his hung and he’s never had a reason to feel insecure about his body but it felt more important what you felt about him than any of his one night stands.

he places his middle and index fingers in your mouth and instructs you to suck. he tries not to moan at how eager you are and how you moan for him as you maintain eye contact.

you were just too fucking perfect for him.

he kisses down your neck, sucking and biting the skin before he reaches down to your breasts and bites your nipple softly.

“issei” you whine, back arching into his touch.

he slides his fingers through your folds and groans appreciatively at how wet you are and it’s all for him, because of him.

“fuck baby, already?” he teases just to watch you try and grind against him. he keeps your body down as he slides his fingers into your pussy.

you’re so wet and warm and he kisses you to distract himself because he knows he needed to prep you properly. he would never hurt you on purpose, no matter how much he wanted to fuck you into his bed until you couldn’t walk.

“issei please” you gasp against his lips, “want you”

“and you’ll have me baby, just a little longer yeah?” he says softly adding a third finger just to watch your eyes roll back, loud moans filling the otherwise quiet room.

you was determined to make you cum first before he fucked you.

pressing his thumb against your clit, he watches your mouth drop open and body shake as you try to close your legs around his arm.

“shitshitshit” you cry out, grabbing onto his shoulder hard enough to hurt but he doesn’t mind. he wants to feel it tomorrow the same way you will.

he has condoms. he’s always been careful but when you grab his wrist and shake your head, he swears he almost cums then and there. he’s never fucked anyone raw but never in his life has he wanted to so badly as he does right now.

“shit baby, are you sure?” he asks and you nod, kissing the side of his jaw

“put it in” you whisper, “want you to cum inside me”

you were always the one to preach about safe sex but all that went out the door when it came to him. it wasn’t like you weren’t on the pill. you’ve thought about this moment enough times to know you wanted him to be your first.

you weren’t a virgin but you never let anyone fuck you unless they had a condom and sex never felt as good as it did in that moment. he was good with his fingers and hands but you needed him before you really did lose your mind.

“hurry issei” you beg so prettily for him, “fuck me”

he pushes into you slowly, wanting you to feel the way at he throbs and twitches and the way the vein on the underside of his cock brushed up against your gummy walls.

“you feel so fucking good” he groans, wrapping his hand around your neck. he squeezes just a little bit harder than before but it’s enough to have your eyes crossing.

your neighbours might file another noise complaint but issei was good at sweet talking his way out of things so you didn’t care too much.

“you feel how deep i am inside you baby?” he asks, pressing down your stomach with his free hand

“yeah” you nod, moaning louder when he fucks you deeper and harder.

the sound of skin slapping against skin only gets louder and the wet smack would embarrass you if you weren’t so fucked out already.

he knows you’re close, the way you squeeze around him. your body tenses up just before you’re cumming, squirting all over his abs and your own thighs.

“that’s it baby, give it to me” he grunts, holding you down as your body shakes. he’s not far behind, thrusting once, twice and then he’s cumming inside you.

it’s hot and warm and your legs squeeze around his waist tightly. he collapses forward but he’s careful not to crush you.

“jesus baby” he chuckles

“hm” you hum, wrapping your arms around his neck again but you’re too tired to move your body.

“give me 5 minutes and i’ll get you cleaned up again” he says, kissing your softly.

“i still want that cheesecake” you frown after a moment and he laughs, slapping your ass before getting up.

“like i said” he scoffs, “you’re spoiled!”

“yeah but you love me” you stretch, laying more comfortably on his pillows.

“yeah” he huffs and you can see the fondness in his eyes, “i do”

#[ 🪼 ] xfg writes #matsukawa issei #haikyuu mattsun #haikyuu matsukawa #matsukawa issei x you #matsukawa issei x reader #matsukawa issei x y/n #mattsun x y/n #mattsun x you #mattsun x reader #haikyuu mattsun smut #mattsun smut #matsukawa issei smut #haikyuu smut #hq smut #hq matsukawa #hq mattsun #hq mattsun smut #hq matsukawa issei

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verslxt · 1 year

Text

thinking about collageau!mattsun who met you at a party and instantly fell in love. from the way you looked all the way from how you held yourself

thinking about collageau!mattsun who rizzed you up after the party and got you to go back to his house/dorm

thinking about collageau!mattsun who pounded your pussy like there was no tomorrow that night (with consent and a condom(wrap your fuckin dick))

thinking about collageau!mattsun who introduced you to all his volleyball friends and introduced you as just a friend

thinking about collageau!mattsun who finally realizes you want a baby after graduation and that you want to be more than just friends

thinking about collageau!mattsun who brings you food every time you have a long test (like finals or midterms) to study for. and it's always good ass food too

thinking about collageau!mattsun who bought a house close to campus once he graduated so that you wouldn't have to deal with dorm life again cause that shit sucks

thinking about collageau!mattsun has made me develop a huge crush on mattsun

thinking about collageau!mattsun who pounds your pussy senseless every night as long as you want him to

thinking about collageau!mattsun who already bought an engagement ring for you once you graduate

thinking about collageau!mattsun who like to grab the nape of your neck and kiss the hell out of you when you are working on essays

thinking about collageau!mattsun who just gives of big dick energy

thinking about collageau!mattsun who wants to put a pretty baby in your tummy. no seriously he says it every night

"you'd look so pretty with a baby in your tummy"

thinking about collageau!mattsun who has a fuckin massive breeding kink

thinking about collageau!mattsun who is just fucking hot lets be honest with ourselves

agghhhh i finished it! @buggy-cj here it iss. i'm lowkey really proud of this and mattsun is super fuckin hot alright

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x y/n #collage au #haikyuu smut #issei matsukawa #issei matsukawa smut #mattsun x reader #mattsun smut #smutty smut

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etherrreal · 1 year

Text

“spare me the details”

Pairing: matsukawa x fem!reader Genre: angst with a happy ending (i promise lmao), friends to lovers Summary: matsukawa is a good friend, which is why when you ask for his help figuring out what to wear for your date, he agrees without thinking much of it. but the longer he spends watching you get ready, the more he realizes how much he doesn’t want you to go. WC: 10,446 Warnings: brief mentions of alcohol, lots of suggestive lines, and on top of it all they were roommates (oh my god they were roommates) A/N: this fic happened because i wanted to write literally one scene of mattsun zipping up reader’s dress and now, 10k+ words later, we’re here :) also shoutout to luna for coming up with the fic title! <3 -Dawn

When you text Matsukawa right after his shift with a series of panicked voice notes and a string of siren emojis to match, he expects nothing short of a bug armageddon. He comes home fully prepared to find you standing on the kitchen counter, broom in hand as you frantically shout for him to get rid of whatever creepy crawling thing has invaded your home, the way he has on three separate occasions since the two of you moved in together.

Instead, when he arrives at your shared apartment, he finds you standing in the middle of your bedroom, heaps of fabric scattered across your mattress and pouring out from your closet. Thankfully, there’s no bug in sight, but you still look far from pleased, scowling at the floral-printed dress you’re holding as if it’s personally offended you.

You perk up when you spot him standing in your doorway, sleeves rolled up around his elbows and tie still half-hanging off his neck. You greet him with a welcome smile and a relieved “oh thank god” before letting go of the dress you’re holding, latching your hand around his wrist and tugging him inside.

That’s about all the warning he gets before he finds himself shoved into the comfort of your desk chair, watching as you turn this way and that in front of your mirror, trying on dress after dress in preparation for your date tonight. Apparently, the cute IT guy you met at your job’s last happy hour asked you out, and you need Mattsun’s help deciding what to wear.

Normally, this is your friend Aina’s job. It used to be Mattsun’s too, once upon a time, but that was before everything that happened your senior year of college, before things changed between you in a way that, for a while, neither of you were sure you’d be able to come back from.

Thankfully, the two of you managed to fix things in the end, but that particular part of your friendship, the part that made you comfortable enough to talk freely about things like romance and dating, was never quite the same. It still isn’t, if he’s being honest, despite the fact that the two of you live together now, despite the fact that it’s been a year since everything happened.

It’s why he never lets his hookups stay the night, why you never say anything about the extra pair of heels you see on the shoe rack that are always gone by morning. It’s why you only ever mention your dates in passing, why he never asks for details.

He’s honestly shocked you’ve asked for his help at all, but with Aina busy visiting her family in Tokyo, Makki off with his new girlfriend, and the rest of your friends stuck at work, he figures he’s all you have left. And because he’s a good roommate and an even better friend, he agrees to help, even though the idea of you going on a date with someone else –cute IT background or not– kind of makes him want to throw up, for reasons he’s not quite ready to explore just yet.

So instead of lingering on the thought, Mattsun decides to focus on something a little easier for him to admit to himself, like the fact that you look really good tonight. Then again, you always look good to him, which he supposes is another problem entirely. He likes to think he’s gotten better at ignoring it over the years, only allowing his gaze to linger when he’s sure your attention is occupied elsewhere, but the way you look tonight has him wondering how much longer he’ll be able to keep it up.

Most of your hair has been pinned up and away from your face –he figures you’re waiting to let it down until right before you leave– and there’s something gold and shimmery on your eyelids and cheekbones that catches the light whenever you move, highlighting your features. Your lashes are long and dark, a deep shade of red staining your lips that the more indecent part of him is tempted to smudge.

And if all of that isn’t already bad enough, you’ve also spent the past ten minutes strutting back and forth in every pretty dress you own. You turn back to him after slipping into each one to ask which looks best, hair all mussed up and fabric clinging to your hips, and all he can think about is how much more useful he’d be in helping you out of them.

But the two of you are best friends, have been since you met during your first year of university, when you ended up sitting next to each other at a bonfire neither of you really wanted to attend and bonded over smores and cheap beer. And last time he checked, you aren’t supposed to have these kinds of thoughts about your best friend, no matter how pretty their eyes are or how tempting they look in a little satin dress. Which is why, for the sake of your friendship –and, he thinks, for the sake of his own sanity– he keeps them to himself.

He likes to think he’s doing a pretty good job of it, too, allowing himself only a quick once-over whenever you step out in a new dress before averting his gaze and giving his opinion, determined not to appear too interested or eager. It helps that he has his phone to distract him, along with a bag of pretzels you left open on your desk that he keeps stealing from every now and then.

It works for the first few minutes, at least, until you’re walking out of your closet wearing what feels like your twentieth option of the night, and all he has to say, after barely sparing a glance at you, is that he likes the color. Never one to be ignored for long, you snatch up the closest projectile –in this case, your stuffed koala– and launch it straight at him, determined to get his attention by any means necessary.

Unsurprisingly, the plushie hits him square in the chest –he and Makki always like to joke you’d make a terrifying wing spiker– and he looks up to find you standing in front of him again, pretty red lips pulled into a frustrated frown.

“Ouch,” he says, feigning hurt as he picks the stuffed koala up and sets it back on your desk, though you both know he hardly felt it. Years of athleticism and routine gym workouts have left him with an impressive wall of muscle, if the appreciative glances you send him whenever he leaves the shower shirtless are any indication. “What was that for?”

“You know exactly what that was for.” You shoot him a flat look, hands resting on either side of your hips. The dress you’re wearing now is made of a red velvety material, with long sleeves and a sloping neckline revealing a generous amount of cleavage that has him nearly choking on his pretzels. “You’re supposed to be helping me through a crisis here, not eating all my food.”

“Hey, you’re the one who decided to have a fashion emergency during my dinner time. Excuse me for not wanting to starve.” He scoops up another handful of pretzels as if to prove his point, tossing them into his mouth while you roll your eyes. “And besides, I have been helping you. Didn’t I tell you the green one you tried on was cute?”

“I’m a grown ass woman. I don’t have time for cute.” You give a little huff of indignation when you say it, which, in retrospect, just makes you look cuter, though Mattsun is wise enough not to bring that up now. “I have time for beautiful, maybe even time for pretty, but definitely not for cute, which means I need you to stop being charming and start project makeover-ing my ass.”

“Ah, so you think I’m charming?”

“I’m walking away now.”

“I’m kidding! Hey, come on, I was just messing with you. I’ll help now, for real.” He’s still grinning when he says it, but he locks his phone to show you that he’s serious, putting it down on your desk and wiping his hands free of any crumbs. “I promise.”

And for what it’s worth, he means it. He knows it’ll be quite the slippery slope, giving his honest opinion about how you look without also giving away the attraction he’s usually a lot better at pretending he doesn’t feel for you, all in the service of helping you get ready for the date he’s still kind of bummed you’re going on. But you’re his best friend, and you asked for his help. And while the thought of you and your IT guy still makes him queasy, he wants to help you, and that’s precisely what he resolves to do.

You’re wearing a different dress now, something soft and smooth made of purple satin that cinches at the waist and clings to your curves in a way that has his mouth feeling dry and his face feeling a little warmer than usual. He watches you fiddle with the straps, snapping them into place against your shoulders.

He imagines his hands replacing yours, fingertips grazing the slope of your collarbone and brushing over your shoulders, sliding down to your sides. He wonders what the satin would feel like against his palms, how the fabric would give beneath his fingertips, shifting as he pushes it up and over your hips–

“Well?�� The sound of your voice snaps him out of his thoughts, and immediately he tears his gaze away from where it’s drifted rather unhelpfully down to your ass. He does it just in time, too, because all of the sudden you’re turning around to face him, an eyebrow raised expectantly. “What do you think of this one?”

“...I like it,” Mattsun says evenly, after taking a moment to compose himself, though the sudden dryness in his mouth makes the words come out a little strained. He only hopes you don’t notice it, hopes his voice sounds steadier than the rest of him feels. “It looks nice on you.”

Any other time, you might’ve smiled at the compliment, maybe even poked fun at him for going soft on you, but now you just groan in annoyance, planting your hands on your hips and fixing him with an unimpressed stare. “You’ve said that about the last three dresses, Issei.”

“I meant it,” he tells you, because he did. “You look really nice in all of them.”

“But I don’t want to look just nice.” You’re pouting now, brows furrowing as you smooth your hands over the skirt of your dress. “I want to look hot. Like having him drooling as soon as he sees me kind of hot.”

“Drooling, huh? That’s a pretty tall order.” He raises an eyebrow at you, ignoring the way his stomach starts to twist at the reminder of your impending date in favor of flashing you a teasing smirk. “You sure your IT nerd’s gonna be able to handle that?”

You start to smile, but it only lasts for a few moments before you’re remembering your current predicament and letting out a tired, frustrated sigh.

“I’m being serious, Issei. This is really important to me. It’s my first date in a while, and I want to make a good impression.” You tug at the straps of your dress and tilt your head at him, eyes soft and pleading. “Please help me?”

And though Matsukawa is still far from being a fan of you going off with someone else looking as lovely as you do –though he’s just starting to realize how much he wants to be the one you dress up for instead– in all the time he’s known you, he’s never really been able to deny you of anything, and he’s certainly not going to start now.

It doesn’t take him long to come up with his suggestion. He shifts in his seat, lifting a hand to rub at the back of his neck. “What about the one you wore for New Year’s?”

“The black one?” you ask, perking up with interest.

When he nods, you turn to the mountain of clothes on your bed and begin rummaging through the pounds of fabric, pulling out the exact dress he was thinking of with surprising ease. He tries not to look too eager as you do, even though the memory of you in it is a sight permanently seared into his brain.

“Here it is. I almost forgot I had this one.” You hold the dress up to your body and tilt your head, questioning gaze searching for his. “You don’t think it’s too boring?”

“Not even close,” Mattsun replies, completely sure of it. You looked absolutely stunning that night, all bright smiles and silver-framed eyes, and he was far from the only one who noticed it. Looking back, it was probably the closest he’s ever come to telling you the truth about how he feels.

“Don’t you remember on New Year’s, when you walked over to us and Iwaizumi got all flustered and started choking on his champagne, but wouldn’t tell you why?” It takes a moment for you to recall the memory, but when he sees you nod, he continues, “it was because he saw you in that dress.”

You’re quick to wave it off, laughing like you don’t really believe him. “Yeah, right.”

“It’s true,” he insists. “It might not be as intense as full-on drooling, but I’d say it’s pretty close, all things considered.”

“You know what? I’ll take it.” You drape the dress over one of your arms and turn towards your closet, though not before pausing to send him a grateful smile. “Thanks, Issei. I’m gonna go try it on!”

With that, you’re off, disappearing back into your closet to change. It isn’t long after you’ve left that he hears your voice again, the sounds of your frustrated swearing only partially muffled by the door.

He calls out to you, asking if everything is all right, and that’s when the door creaks back open, your head poking out into view. Some of your hair has fallen down and over your shoulders, and you’re using both hands to keep the front of the dress pressed firmly against your body, pretty lips pulled into a frown.

“The stupid zipper is stuck,” you grumble, features scrunched up in annoyance, and somehow it’s both the best and the worst thing you could’ve told him at the same time. “I can’t reach it. Can you help zip me up?”

It takes him a moment to respond, his brain all but short-circuiting at the thought of having you so close to him, at the idea of his skin brushing yours, but eventually he manages a nod, muttering out a “sure” that sounds a bit too strained for his liking and wiping his palms against his pants as he stands to join you.

You step out and walk until you’re facing the floor-length mirror, and he follows until he’s standing right behind you, just a few short inches of space between you that suddenly feel a lot smaller now that he’s caught your gaze in the glass.

He knows the smart thing –the right thing, for both of you and for the sake of your friendship– would be to look away. To pretend it means nothing, even as he feels his pulse pick up beneath his skin, even as his entire body warms at the proximity, but he doesn’t. He can’t, not when you’re finally here in front of him, all bright-eyed and gorgeous, and certainly not when he’s this close to you in the way he’s tired of pretending he doesn’t want to be.

And maybe he’s just imagining it, but right now you’re looking at him like you’re thinking the same thing, like you’re just waiting to see what he’ll do next.

He watches the way you watch him as he gathers and moves the parts of your hair that have come loose, sweeping them away to the front of your shoulder and ignoring the feel of them as they brush against his fingers. He looks away only to locate the zipper of your dress and immediately regrets it, the smooth skin of your back and shoulders on full display making the dryness in his throat from before return with a vengeance.

He takes his time, savoring the moment despite knowing how selfish it is of him, as he begins to zip the dress the rest of the way shut. It catches again somewhere in the middle, his knuckles grazing your skin as a result. You let out a little gasp when it happens, a tiny, breathless sound that makes his skin feel like it’s on fire, one he would’ve missed if he wasn’t standing as close to you as he is now.

Immediately, his gaze snaps up to meet yours in the mirror. You look as surprised as he feels, eyes wide and mouth slightly open, like you can’t believe the sound came from you. The moment is ephemeral, your gaze darting away from his after only a few seconds, but it feels like a lifetime. He knows it’s all he’ll be able to think about for days to come, long after you’ve left for the date he really wishes you weren’t going on anymore.

He zips the rest of the dress up without any further incident, though the tension between you is still there, despite both of your valiant attempts to ignore it. He knows the smart thing –the right thing– to do right now would be to move his hands, to let you go and step away so that you can finish getting ready. He has to, because the two of you are just friends, and he has no right to feel the way he does about any of this, especially after everything that’s happened between you.

But Matsukawa’s always been a little bit selfish when it comes to you, and tonight is no different, especially when he remembers that little gasp you gave earlier, the heated look in your eyes as your gaze met his. So instead of moving away, he lets his knuckles graze your skin again, lets his fingertips trace down the outline of the zipper until his hands are resting on your waist.

And instead of stopping him, instead of pushing him away, you sink into his touch, allowing yourself to lean back just enough that your back can rest against his front. You settle against him like you belong there, so close that he catches the scent of your perfume, the same heat he feels spreading across his skin burning into yours.

It’s easy to forgive himself after that, to bring his mouth to your ear as his eyes meet yours in the mirror.

“There.” He’s so close to you now that his lips graze your ear as he speaks. It makes you shiver, just noticeably enough that he considers forgetting all about preserving your friendship and kissing you senseless right then and there. Against all odds, he manages to resist the urge, settling for giving your hips a light squeeze instead. “All done.”

“...Thanks,” you murmur, sounding as dazed as he feels. “What…what do you think?”

He moves his gaze away from yours long enough to take in the sight of you all dressed up, unsurprised to discover you look just as, if not even more so, beautiful as you did on New Year’s. The black dress is long and form-fitting, with a square neckline and ruched fabric that cinches at your waist and eases over your hips nicely. There’s a slit on the left of it that exposes a bit of your thigh, two thin straps against your shoulders holding it all up. And with your hair swept over your shoulder and that bold look in your gold-framed eyes, you are both breathtaking and completely devastating, the longer he stares at you knowing he can’t have you.

I think you’re the most stunning thing I’ve ever seen, is what he wants to tell you. I think I want you to stay home because I hate the idea of you going out with anyone else who isn’t me. But mostly I think I’m a coward and an idiot for having you right here in front of me all this time and not doing anything about it.

But he can’t say any of that now, because it’s late and selfish and not at all what you deserve, so he doesn’t.

“You look amazing,” is what he says instead, and as he meets your gaze again in the mirror, he can only hope you see how much he means it. “Your IT nerd won’t be able to keep his eyes off you.”

And he knows he should just leave it at that, knows it isn’t fair to take it any further, but still he tells you anyway, consequences be damned, “...I know I wouldn’t.”

Another murmur of thanks leaves your lips, an uncharacteristic shakiness lingering in your voice that he wonders might mean something more.

You still haven’t looked away. He knows now he doesn’t want you to. And he wonders, not for the first time, if maybe the risk to your friendship is worth it, if he should stop all this waiting and longing and just do something about it–

The blaring of an alarm cuts him off before he can get any further, one he’s sure the more practical part of you set on your phone well in advance to ensure you wouldn’t be late for your date. It shatters the moment almost instantly, leaving you wide-eyed as you finally seem to notice how close the two of you are, how long you’ve been staring at each other.

You swear and move away from him, slipping out of his grasp as you scramble across the room in search of your phone. You find it resting face-down on your desk and silence it with a swipe of your thumb.

You don’t turn back to look at him right away, almost like you’re taking the extra time to steady yourself before you face him again. He’s tempted to laugh, mainly because he’s pretty much doing the exact same thing right now.

When you do finally turn back to him, you find him standing with his hands shoved into his pockets, an attempt at appearing casual, despite the sinking feeling in his chest.

“Guess you should probably finish getting ready, huh?” Mattsun’s chest tightens as the words leave his mouth, lips curving into a smile he can only hope reaches his eyes. “Wouldn’t want to keep your IT nerd waiting.”

“Yeah.” It takes you a moment, but soon you return the gesture with a hesitant smile of your own. “Thanks again for all your help, Issei. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

He manages to choke out a strained “anytime” that he’s sure sounds unfairly bitter. Thankfully, you don’t seem to notice it, excusing yourself to touch up your makeup before you go, and because he’s a masochist, Mattsun follows, hovering just outside of the doorway to keep you company.

And as he watches you apply the finishing touches to your look, letting down the rest of your hair and touching up your lipstick, that sinking feeling in his chest grows and grows until he can’t ignore it any longer. Until it makes him ask a question he very well knows he shouldn’t.

“So, how’d you meet this guy again?”

You don’t answer right away, the question giving you pause as you spare him an odd look from the corner of your eye. You know as well as he does that the two of you don’t talk about things like this, at least not anymore. You’ve both learned it’s easier for everyone if you just spare each other the details about the people you’re seeing, and though you never agreed to it outright, it’s a rule you’ve both followed faithfully ever since. He’s not sure your friendship would’ve survived without it.

You seem surprised he’s willing to break it now, and honestly, so is he. Still, you decide to answer him anyway, though the guarded look in your eye makes him think you’d prefer not to.

“I told you, I met him at a happy hour. One of my co-workers introduced us. We talked, danced for a bit, and then he asked me out.”

“Right.” He crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the doorframe, hoping he sounds casual and disinterested, even though he feels anything but. “And was this before or after your fourth margarita of the night?”

You start to laugh, until you realize he’s being serious. “Does it matter?”

“Of course it does. Three-drink you is fun and likes to dance. Four-drink you, however, has poor judgment skills. Remember Aina’s birthday, when you, non-existent upper body strength and all, tried to do a handstand and nearly gave yourself a concussion?”

“Key word being nearly.” You grin, a mischievous glint in your eye nearly identical to the one you’d had on the night in question, and when all Mattsun can think is how endearing it makes you look, he knows he’s in trouble. “Besides, you’re one to talk. The last time you got drunk, I had to stop you from jumping the gate at Aina’s place, and that was only two drinks in.”

“In my defense, I was being chased–”

“By what, her six pound toy poodle?”

“Whatever. That’s not my point.”

“And what, pray tell, is your point, Issei?”

“My point is, what if you don’t actually like your IT guy as much as you think? What if he’s actually a huge creep and four-drink you just didn’t notice it because you had your margarita blinders on?”

He keeps his tone light and easy, hoping he sounds more concerned than jealous, because while he definitely doesn’t love the idea of you going out with someone else, he doesn’t actually want to make you think he’s questioning your judgment. He just wants to get you to reconsider things a bit without actually revealing how much he wants you to stay, how much he wants you.

“He is not a creep,” you say easily, in a firm voice that leaves little room for argument, and Matsukawa does his best to ignore how your words make him feel like he’s being punched in the ribs, how that feeling only worsens when he realizes this guy might actually be good for you. “He’s a sweet, cute, thoughtful guy who wants to get to know me better. He even left me a note on my desk this morning saying how excited he is to see me tonight.”

“So he broke into your office instead of just texting you about it?” He shakes his head, clicking his tongue. “I don’t know. Sounds like a creep to me. I wouldn’t blame you if you texted him right now saying you have to cancel on him. In fact, I’d even let you use my phone.”

“He didn’t break into anything, you weirdo. He was trying to be romantic, and it worked.” You cap your lipstick and set it on the counter, using a tissue to blot away any excess as you quirk an eyebrow at him in the mirror. “Why are you being so weird about this, anyway?”

“What? I’m not being weird about anything,” he denies quickly, though it’s hardly believable. You cast another odd look in his direction as you toss the tissue away, but still, you don’t call him out on it. And while part of him is grateful for that, there’s another part of him that almost wishes you would. “All I’m doing is expressing my concern for my best friend before she goes out with a man who may or may not have a history of breaking and entering.”

“Yeah, well, lucky for him, I don’t plan on pressing any charges.” You give your reflection one last look and smile, satisfied with your work. That’s when you turn to face him, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze as you pass him in the doorway. “So stop worrying so much, okay? I’ll be fine, I promise. Now come lock the door for me. I’ve gotta leave now if I want to get there in time.”

You head back into the hallway, and Mattsun, not having much of a choice, follows, though he’s not exactly happy about it. In fact, he finds himself dreading every step, knowing each one takes you further away from where he wants you to be, further away from him.

You’re by the front door now, dressed in your long coat with your purse thrown over your shoulder. You’re still talking as you remove your heels from the shoe rack and slip your feet inside. You mention something about there still being leftover stir fry in the fridge and how he shouldn’t wait up for you, but he can hardly register it over the sheer longing seizing his chest, worsening with every step you take towards the door.

And Matsukawa knows, long before he even says anything, that what he’s about to do is quite possibly the most selfish thing he’ll ever do in his life. But then he thinks about everything that’s happened between you two up until this point –about the fact that he has a playlist with all your favorite songs on it, about all the times he’s tucked you in after you’ve fallen asleep on his shoulder, about the way seeing you smile feels like home– and he figures it’s worth it.

Because the only thing worse than telling you the truth about how he feels and being rejected, he decides, would be keeping it to himself and regretting it later, the same way he’s been regretting it every day this past year.

“Hey.”

He says it so quietly that at first, you don’t hear him. It’s only when he calls your name that you stop, pausing in what you’re doing long enough to flash him a curious look.

And he knows he probably shouldn’t, knows it isn’t fair, but he braces himself and says it anyway, in the softest and most sincere voice you’ve ever heard him use.

“Don’t go.”

You blink, eyes wide as your body stills in the entryway. “...What?”

“Don’t go out with him tonight,” he repeats, stronger this time, firm. “Just stay here.” With me, he wants to add, but doesn’t, at least not yet. But then he watches the look in your eyes change, the confusion giving way to understanding, to shock, and he realizes he doesn’t need to. “Please. Just stay.”

For a long moment, you don’t say anything at all. You just stare at him, stunned, silent, a million emotions passing over your face in the span of a few seconds. There’s definitely anger, along with complete and utter disbelief, like you can’t even begin to fathom the fact that he’s doing this right now. If he’s being honest with himself, neither can he.

All he knows is that watching you walk out that door and smiling like he’s okay with it would’ve been another lie, and he’s so tired of lying to you, to himself. He’s tired of pretending that all the stolen glances and lingering touches you’ve exchanged over the years mean nothing, tired of pretending that he wants you any less than he actually does. He can only hope that you feel the same.

You have to know exactly what he’s trying to tell you, why he wants so badly for you to stay. You’re too smart not to. Still, you refuse to acknowledge it, eyes narrowing and expression hardening as you cross your arms over your chest.

Your reply is terse, stubborn, a question that sounds more like a warning. “And why should I do that?”

“You know why.”

“No, actually, I don’t–”

“Yes,” he interrupts you, quietly, knowingly, because you do. You do know. It’s written all over your face. You just don’t want to admit it, the same way he didn’t want to admit it when you found yourselves in this exact same situation last year. “Yes, you do.”

“No.” Your voice is low and sharp as you speak, the harshest he’s ever heard it, even as your eyes begin to water, even as your lip trembles. “No, I don’t– you can’t– you can’t do this to me, Issei. It isn’t fair. You can’t, not after everything, not when you’re the one who–”

“I know.” And the worst part is that he does. He knows you don’t deserve this, knows that he has the shittiest timing ever, but he can’t help it. He can’t let you slip through his fingers again, not after learning what it’s like to be so close to you, not after seeing the way your eyes met his in the mirror, like you could feel it, too. Like you could want him, like you could still want him, despite all the ways he knows he’s disappointed you. “I know that, okay? I know it’s not fair–”

“Do you? Do you, really? Because if you did, you wouldn’t be doing this to me right now.”

There’s anguish in your voice, thick enough to coat every word you say, a hurt so deep that he hates himself for not noticing it sooner. Even now, you try to hold it back, determined to keep him from seeing it and finding out how strong it is, how long you’ve held onto it, though whether it’s for your own sake or his, he can’t really tell. All he knows is that watching it happen makes him hate himself even more for doing this to you. Guilt coils around him and nestles somewhere deep inside his bones, tightening like a hand around his throat.

“This shouldn’t even be a conversation. Not again. Not now.” You shake your head and blink back tears, the grip you have on your keys tight and unforgiving. “You’re the one who rejected me, remember?”

It’s enough to make Mattsun wince, even more so because it’s true. “It wasn’t like– I didn’t mean to–”

“But you did, Issei! You did. Last year, when I told you I had feelings for you, you let me. You let me pour my heart out, let me kiss you– hell, you even kissed me back, and then? Then you told me it was a mistake, that it couldn’t happen, that you didn’t see me that way and that we were just friends–”

“I know what I said!”

He doesn’t mean to shout –it’s actually the last thing he wants to do, especially when he’s the one who screwed things up in the first place– but that’s what comes out. It stuns you both into silence, though it’s nothing like the comfortable ones you usually share. This one is heavy and tense, weighed down by the gravity of all that’s happened between you, by all the things you’ve left unsaid.

He shuts his eyes, pausing to take a deep breath as he rakes a hand through his hair. When he opens them and starts to speak again, his voice is much softer, though the tension between you is still there, like a fever you can’t seem to shake, a chain that binds you to each other, for better or worse.

“I know what I said, okay? And I lied. I lied about everything. Back then, what I told you, it wasn’t because I didn’t have feelings for you, because I did. I do.”

The confession leaves you both floored, though for very different reasons. Him because of how easily it fell out of his mouth, how right it felt to say it, and you because you can’t believe it, because it’s the last thing you expected to hear.

“You what?” Your eyes are wide, lips parted as you gape at him. “But you told me– when did you– how could you even–”

“How could I not? You’re smart as hell, not to mention confident and unfairly funny. You’re impossibly stubborn, too, especially if it’s something you’re passionate about, and so much kinder than you give yourself credit for. And god, when I look at you? I can’t– I can’t stop looking at you.”

He takes a step forward, bridging the distance between you, and you’re so stunned that you let him. It makes him brave enough to reach out a hand to you, cupping your face in his palm. Your eyes widen at the contact, but you don’t push him away.

“You’re everything I’ve ever wanted,” he says, quieter now but still so sincere, as he brushes your cheek gently with his thumb. “So I need you to know, all of those things I said back then– they had nothing to do with my feelings for you.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me that?” Your voice cracks, a tear escaping your eye and rolling down your cheek, and it does something awful to his heart, knowing he’s the reason for it. “Why did you lie and say that you only saw me as a friend?”

And though the memory of what he’s done and of all the ways he’s hurt you still fills him with shame and regret, Mattsun knows that he owes it to you to tell the truth, so that’s exactly what he does.

“Because I was scared. We were friends for so long, and the way I felt about you –the way I still feel about you– I’ve never felt that way about anyone before. And all I could think about was if we decided to be something more, and things went wrong, then I’d lose you. And I didn’t– I couldn't risk that.”

The laugh that leaves your throat is bitter and humorless, even as another tear falls from your eye. He’s quick to wipe it away, though part of him knows even before he does it that it’s nowhere near enough to make up for everything he’s put you through. “So you decided to lie to me about it instead?”

He looks down, ashamed. “I’m sorry. I know it was shitty–”

“It wasn’t just shitty, Issei, it was fucking heartbreaking. You broke my fucking heart.”

You reach for his wrist and tug, removing his hand from your face and stepping away from him. The distance hurts you both more than you know, but you’re too upset to think about that right now, voice raw as you snap at him.

“When you let me kiss you –when you chose to kiss me back– you made me think that it was worth it, that you might actually feel the same way, only to take it back and tell me that you didn’t, that you wanted us to just stay friends.”

You’re practically shaking now, all that pain and heartache you’ve tried so hard to bury clawing their way back up to the surface, tumbling out of you before you can stop them.

“And hearing that fucking sucked, of course it did, but I accepted it because it’s what I thought you wanted, because our friendship meant more to me than my own feelings did. And now that I am finally making my peace with it, now that I’m actually trying to move on, you turn around and tell me that it was all a lie? That you actually have feelings for me?”

You shake your head, reeling and incredulous. Your eyes fill with tears while his heart aches to hold you, and it’s like you’re both reliving that night all over again.

Mattsun remembers it all too well, that night your senior year of college, when you, him, and the rest of your friends packed into Aina’s apartment for one of her notorious parties. The two of you stood together on the balcony, nursing lukewarm beers and lamenting your upcoming final exams. Neither of you were entirely sure what your plans were for after graduation, but what you did know was that you didn’t want to end the year with any regrets.

He thinks that’s what brought it out of you back then, what made you turn to him, nervous but brave, and say you had something you needed to tell him. He never would’ve guessed that you’d say you had feelings for him, or that you’d curl your fist into his shirt and press your lips to his only a few moments after.

And you’re right. He did kiss you back. He let you run your fingers through his hair and tug him closer, let his tongue dip into your mouth and his lips trail down your jaw and neck as he wrapped his arms around your waist. He would’ve kept kissing you, too, would’ve kept you breathless and whispered that he felt the same against your lips, the way he’d been feeling for so long, if it weren’t for the fear that planted itself into his head immediately after.

Because Matsukawa’s been in relationships before. They hadn’t all ended terribly, of course –he’s not that much of an asshole– but no matter what terms he and his previous partners had ended on, the truth of the matter was that they never spoke again.

And the thought of that happening with you –the thought of never speaking to you again, of losing you forever– terrified him, leaving him panicked and afraid enough to decide, right then and there, that no matter how much he wanted it –no matter how much he wanted you– this would be a road the two of you couldn’t go down.

So he pulled away. He lied, feeding you some bullshit line about not feeling the same and about the two of you being better off as friends, even though it broke his heart to do so, even though every fiber of his being ached to pull you back to him. Your lip trembled and your eyes watered, but you didn’t cry. You just nodded and accepted it, told him that you understood, that it was fine.

You didn’t see each other for the rest of the weekend. When you did finally meet up, it was for lunch at the campus cafe, a tradition between classes you’d established your freshman year. You agreed to stay friends, and then you never talked about it again.

Until tonight, of course, when he asked you to stay. Until right now.

It hits him, then, how selfish he’s been, how thoughtless. Before, Mattsun told himself that lying to you about his feelings was the best thing for both of you, the only way to ensure that your friendship would remain intact and to keep you from losing each other. Not once did he stop to consider whether or not that was something you actually wanted, and it’s only now that he’s realizing how deeply unfair that was of him.

Even now, he’s still being selfish with you, confessing his feelings an entire year later, as if that makes it better, as if he still has the right. And sure, you leaned into his touch earlier; sure, you let him run his fingers up your back and hold your waist, but that doesn’t mean you still want him that way. It doesn’t mean that you have to forgive him, either, not when he doesn’t deserve it.

Earlier, he thought being honest with you about his feelings was the right thing to do. Now he’s not so sure. All he knows is that he’s really, really sorry. That he hates himself for hurting you, and that if he ever really plans on doing right by you, then the first thing he needs to do is apologize.

So he does.

“I’m sorry,” he tells you, soft, sincere, and you know how much he means it. You see it in the way his shoulders slump, in the sad, regretful way he looks at you. “I’m sorry for lying to you and for making you believe I didn’t have feelings for you, even though I did. I’m sorry for hurting you. And I’m sorry for waiting to tell you all of this now, even though I should’ve said something sooner. I’m just– I’m really, really sorry. For everything.”

You don’t accept his apology, but you don’t tell him to go fuck himself, either, which is honestly more than he deserves. Instead, you take a tentative step towards him, folding your arms over your chest. Your eyes are still a little watery, but you’re not actively crying anymore, though a few tears linger on the curve of your cheeks. He wants to wipe them away again, but he thinks better of it and keeps his hands at his sides, unsure of how you’d react if he did.

“Why didn’t you?” you ask, and it’s not angry or sad anymore, just curious, confused. “Say something sooner, I mean.”

“Because it was too late. Because you were dating again, and it would’ve been wrong of me to get in the way of you being happy.” He shifts on his feet, guilty and apologetic, as he averts his gaze to the floor. “I figured you’d moved on. And even if you hadn’t, part of me was still scared of saying something and losing you anyway.”

“Then why risk it now?” You take another step, and his eyes jump back to your face, watching as you tilt your head at him, soft and seeking. “Why is tonight any different?”

“I didn’t think it would be,” he admits, because honestly, it shouldn’t have been. It wasn’t supposed to be, at least, until you gasped when his fingers brushed your skin, the sound embedding itself somewhere deep inside his brain. It did something to him, that sound, woke something up he had almost forgotten about.

“When you told me about your date, I thought I could pretend to be okay with it, that I could ignore it the way I’ve done before. And I was going to, I was trying to, but then…” He lets his voice trail off, lets his gaze lock onto yours the way it did before, warm and wanting. “Then I saw the way you looked at me in the mirror.”

Your eyes widen a fraction, lips parting. Your gaze jumps down to his hands, then back up to his face, and you swallow like you’re remembering it, too.

“I held you, and you let me. And I know it was only for a minute, but it just– I don’t know, it gave me hope, I guess? That it wasn’t too late. That what I was feeling wasn’t one-sided.” He shakes his head and lifts a hand to rub at the back of his neck, a small, sad smile curving its way onto his lips. “I know it sounds stupid–”

“It’s not.” You take his free hand into your own, and he watches, stunned, as you lift it towards you, letting his palm rest against the side of your face. He wonders if you notice his pulse pounding in his ears, how fast his heart is racing. “It’s not stupid.”

Slowly, tentatively, he wipes away what’s left of your tears, and to his surprise, you let him. You even go as far as leaning into his touch, cheek pressing gently into the curve of his hand. You open your mouth to speak again, a breathless little sigh of his name he doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of.

“Issei, I–”

The rest of your sentence is cut off by the sound of your phone ringing. It’s a proper ring this time, too, not an alarm like before. And Mattsun knows, even before you look at it, that it’s your date who’s calling, just like he knows, even before you turn to him with that apologetic look of yours, what you’re going to do next.

Because Mattsun knows you, which means he knows that you’re the kind of person who always keeps her word, who makes plans and sticks to them. And like it or not, you made plans to meet with your IT guy tonight, plans he knows you’re not going to cancel on, no matter how much he wants you to.

His only consolation is that you look really conflicted about it, eyes flickering down to your phone in your hand, then back up to his face. It’s still ringing, but you’ve made no move to answer it. He almost starts to doubt that you will. Almost.

You don’t bother to say who’s calling, because both of you already know. Instead, you take a deep breath, voice heavy with uncertainty as you stare down at your phone. “I…I told him I was on my way. I didn’t think–”

“That I’d be selfish enough to ambush you with all of my repressed feelings before you could make it through the door? Yeah, me neither.” He tries to laugh about it, but it’s forced, hollow. It sounds nothing like him. “And again, I’m really sorry for that. The point is, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. All of this is my fault, anyway, remember?”

You frown at him, looking very badly like you want to argue, but something in his expression must stop you, because you don’t. Still, there’s guilt in your eyes when you meet his gaze again, and though it should make him feel better, he thinks it just makes him feel worse. “I have to go.”

“I know.” He brushes his thumb against your cheek once more before letting his hand fall back to his side. The smile he gives you is pained, sad. It doesn’t meet his eyes. “Be safe, all right?”

He takes a step back, letting you go for the second time in the past year. It feels just as awful and heartbreaking as it did the first, but he refuses to feel sorry for himself. He’s already been selfish enough with you tonight by confessing to you when you were halfway out the door. The least he can do for you after all that is to give you the space to move on.

The steps you take towards the door now are hesitant, unsure, so different from the way you felt only moments ago. It hurts, watching you walking away from him, but this time, he knows better than to stop you.

“Issei?” The sound of your voice draws his attention back to you, as you turn from the now open door to look at him from over your shoulder. “We’ll talk when I get back, okay?”

He doesn’t trust himself enough to speak, so he settles for just nodding. Just like before, you spend longer than you need to just looking at each other, gazes locked, a million things left unsaid between you.

And just like before, you’re the first to turn away, the door shutting quietly behind you.

The sound of your key turning in the lock makes Mattsun jolt up from the couch. He’s been laying there sulking ever since you left, a bowl of popcorn resting on his chest and a lukewarm beer in his hand.

He scrambles to sit himself up into a slightly less pathetic position, discarding the bowl of popcorn onto the coffee table. He considers putting the beer there, too, but ultimately decides against it, knowing you’d chew him out for not using a coaster. He ends up putting it on the floor instead and forces himself to stare at the tv in front of him, an old movie playing on the screen that he’s hardly paid any attention to, too busy stressing out over how your date was going and what the future of your relationship will be after all of this.

A quick glance at his phone confirms that it’s been less than an hour since you left. Forty minutes, at most. He wonders if that’s a good thing or a bad one. Don’t successful dates usually last longer? Or are you back now to tell him that things went so well that you have no interest in talking to him ever again? He isn’t sure, and the uncertainty makes him want to throw up.

The door opens and shuts, and he hears the usual sounds of you settling back into your apartment, the jingle of your keys in the bowl, the click of your heels on the shoe rack. Your feet pad across the floor, and then you appear at the foot of the couch, wearing the dress he picked out.

You look lovely. You always do. You’re a little nervous, too, standing with your hands clasped behind your back, a hesitant look in your eyes as you greet him. “Hi.”

“Hey,” he replies, for lack of anything else to offer. He gives a little wave, too, though it hardly does anything to ease the tension between you.

You nod at the couch. “Do you mind if I—?”

“Yeah, sure— I mean, no, of course I don’t mind. Go for it.” He shifts to give you a little more space, and you settle into the spot next to him, bringing your legs up to your chest. It’s tense and awkward, the complete opposite of how things usually are when you’re with each other. He doesn’t look at you when he clears his throat and speaks again. “You’re home early.”

“I wasn’t supposed to be,” is your quick reply. It’s blunt and honest enough to make him smile, despite how weighted things are between you now. “Earlier today, I was planning on spending the whole night enjoying my date, until this guy I know ruined it all by confessing his feelings for me right before I left.”

“That guy sounds like an asshole,” he says, only half-joking, and when he turns back to you and sees the way you start to smile, he figures it’s worth it. He leans back against the couch, running a hand through his hair. “You must really hate him, huh?”

“That’s the thing.” You reach out and take one of his hands, sliding your fingers through his own. It’s something you’ve done a million times before, but it feels different now, warm and deliberate in a way that has his heart racing. “I don’t.”

It surprises the hell out of him, hearing you say that –because honestly, after everything he’s done, you should hate him– but it also fills him with relief, makes him let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Still, it isn’t long before guilt starts to wash over him again, an awful, ugly thing that makes him want to draw into himself, if only you weren’t still holding onto him.

Mattsun looks down at your linked hands. Your grip is firm and tender, your skin warm and welcome against his, and all he can think is that he doesn’t deserve it. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did. After everything I put you through, you should hate me.”

“But I don’t. It’s true, what you did was stupid and selfish. You never should’ve lied to me in the first place, but it’s not like you did it to hurt me on purpose. You actually thought you were doing what was best for me, in your own weird way. And yeah, it was dumb as hell, but it’s not enough to make me hate you.”

You hold his hand a little tighter, squeezing your fingers around his. He wonders if you know how much it means to him now, how terrified he was at the thought of losing you.

“I could never hate you, Issei,” you say, and the honest, earnest way you meet his gaze makes him believe you. “I just wish you would’ve told me the truth sooner.”

“I should’ve been honest with you from the beginning. I’m sorry that I wasn’t.” He reaches out to you with a free hand, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear. “But mostly I’m sorry for hurting you.”

“I know. I forgive you.” You give his hand another gentle squeeze, brushing your thumb along the back of his skin. “Which is why I never actually made it to the restaurant for my date.”

He blinks, eyes widening. The shock is almost enough to make him drop your hand, but he holds fast, even as his gaze turns incredulous. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah, really. I tried to forget about everything that happened before I left, but all I could think about was you. I was halfway to the restaurant when I realized I couldn’t go through with it. It wouldn’t have been fair to either of us, but mostly to him. So I called him and told him I couldn’t do it, and then I came back here.”

Mattsun tries very hard to hide his grin, but when you nudge at his thigh and flick his forehead with your free hand, an unamused expression on your face, he realizes he’s probably doing a shitty job at it.

“You could at least pretend to feel a little bad, you know,” you scold him, though there’s no real bite to it. “He’s a good guy.”

“Hey, I do feel bad.” The doubtful look you give him makes him reconsider his answer. “Sort of. Not really.”

You roll your eyes, muttering something about him being too smug for his own good, but you don’t stop him when he wraps his free arm around your shoulders, letting him pull you into his side.

“Honestly, I’m just happy you came back,” he says, soft and vulnerable, the way you always seem to make him. “I was really scared that you wouldn’t.”

You rest your head against his shoulder and shrug in a noncommittal fashion, though the way you nuzzle into him and squeeze his hand is nothing short of comforting. “Yeah, well, it was either that or find a new roommate, and honestly, in this economy, it just wasn’t worth the trouble.”

Now it’s Mattsun’s turn to roll his eyes, pretending to be annoyed, even as his lips curl into a smile. “Yeah, yeah, we get it, you’re hilarious.”

“Damn right I am. What was it you said again?” You lower your voice, teasing and playful, delivering an impression of him that’s not even slightly accurate but still makes you throw your head back and cackle like you’re the funniest person in the world. “Oh, baby, you’re so smart and confident and unfairly funny, I can’t stop looking at you–”

Mattsun’s entire face goes red, and he has no choice but to tackle you, the rest of your sentence fading into a gasp which is quickly followed up by a protest as he wrestles you on the couch. All of a sudden, you’re on your back, body pressed between him and the cushions as he hovers over you.

Then his hands are at your sides, tickling you into submission. You gasp and laugh as you try to roll your way out of his grasp and into freedom, and pretty soon he’s laughing, too, and all that tension and anxiety from before disappears, leaving behind the comfort and familiarity you’re used to, the one that feels like home.

Eventually, he takes pity on you, and your wrestling match turned tickle war ends, allowing you both to catch your breath. Still, he doesn’t let you go, easing himself up on his forearms to keep his weight off you, face hovering only inches above your own.

“I meant what I said before, you know. I really am sorry. For everything.”

“I know.” You brush your thumb along his jaw, eyes tracing the movement before flickering back up to meet his own. “So where does this leave us?”

“Wherever you want. I never should’ve lied to you, no matter what my reasons were. And I definitely shouldn’t have waited so long to tell you the truth. It was unfair of me to make that decision for the both of us in the first place. So whatever happens next, wherever we go from here, it’ll be up to you.”

He pauses for a moment, letting his words sink in. You seem satisfied by his response, if the way your eyes soften is any indication, and nod for him to continue.

“If you want me to walk away, then I will.” It’ll break his heart and hurt like hell, of course, but he’ll do it, if that’s what you want, because he meant what he said. What happens from here on out will be on your terms, not just his. “If you want to stay friends, then we will. And if you want us to try dating, I’ll be outside your room door at 7 tomorrow night to pick you up.”

You pause to consider it for a moment, tilting your head, and then the bright look in your eyes, the one he’s always loved, darkens just a bit, turning into something wanting, something deliberate. Something that looks like desire.

“And what if I want you to kiss me?” you ask, in that bold and daring way of yours, the one that drew him to you in the first place.

Mattsun’s eyes widen, heart nearly careening out of his chest at your words. Every bone in his body urges him to lean down, to close the distance between you and press his lips to yours in the way he’s been wanting to all night.

Still, he finds it in himself to pause, drawing back enough to meet your gaze and ask, “Are you sure?”

You end up closing the distance for him, teeth grazing his bottom lip and making him groan. “Very sure.”

He doesn’t hesitate anymore after that. He tilts his head and presses his lips to yours in a way that has you both sighing, mouth moving in tandem against your own. Your hands tangle in his hair while he uses one of his to grip at your thigh, fingers pressing into your skin as he lifts your leg and guides it to wrap around his waist.

You’re both breathless when you pull away, lips smudged with red, pupils blown wide. Matsukawa thinks you’ve never looked more beautiful. Your hands move from his hair to cup his face, thumbs brushing against his jaw.

“You gonna run away this time?” you ask.

“Never again,” he swears, turning his head just enough to press his lips to the inside of your palm. “I promise.”

And it’s a promise, you’re pleased to note, that he never fails to keep.

Written by: Dawn

#matsukawa x reader #mattsun x reader #matsukawa issei x reader #haikyuu x reader #matsukawa imagines #haikyuu imagines #matsukawa x y/n #matsukawa x you #haikyu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #hq x reader #our writing #matsukawa angst #haikyuu angst #dawn writes

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nishinoyaswife4 · 5 months

Text

How He Reacts to Other Men Hitting on You

Seijoh

Oikawa

He’s stepped away for a second. He hasn’t even been away for a full minute yet. But in the same fashion that you get no peace when his fans are around, he gets no peace in any other setting with you. He looks over to where he left you at the bar to find his seat occupied by another man, who by the looks of it was laying in on pretty thick. It wasn’t hard to see you leaning away the closer this man got to you. Oikawa quickly ends the conversation, and heads back to you. The closer he gets the more he can hear the shitty pickup lines coming from this man.

“So are you here with someone?”

Just as you’re about to answer you feel an arm around your shoulder. You look up to see your handsome boyfriend giving this stranger his best smile.

“Hello darling, who is this?” There is venom in his words. “My girlfriend has the habit of making friends wherever she goes.”

The stranger looks taken aback, and excuses himself shortly after. Oikawa doesn’t leave your side again that night.

Iwazumi

He’s convinced you to come to the gym with him to keep him company. He’s now fully regretting asking you as he watches a man approach you at the water fountain. He talks to you just a little too long for Iwa’s tastes. He likes to lie to himself and say he’s not the jealous type, but you know better. Especially now that you see him coming up behind the man who has been taking up your time.

“Oh! This is my boyfriend!” You tell the other man as Iwa approaches. “Maybe you could talk to him about a good place to start on your weightlifting!”

Iwa glares down at the new man, very obviously scaring him. The man lets out an awkward laugh and suddenly remembers he had to be anywhere else. Iwa decides that's enough of the gym for the day and takes you home. He wont answer you when you ask what's wrong but you don’t complain since he hasn’t stopped cuddling you.

Hanamaki

Man is panicking. He saw the guy approach you while you were shopping. He had stopped to look at something a few feet away, and now someone had swooped in on you. He stands there just staring at the two of you for a moment. Wondering if that was a real laugh or a fake one you had just given the stranger. It's not until you look at him making a face and rolling your eyes that he approaches.

“Hey baby, are you ready to go?” He approaches.

He throws a casual arm over your shoulder like he wasn’t just picturing you dumping him for this guy after a 5 minute conversation. He looks this guy up and down before greeting him like a friend all while holding your hand.

Matsukawa

You’re at a house party with him grabbing a drink when this random man approaches you. You make polite conversation trying to cut it short once you grab the drinks and head back to your boyfriend who is just lazing about on the couch. The man that was talking doesn’t seem to know how to read social cues or is just blatantly ignoring them follows you. He's still talking and you try to stay polite answering with a tight smile. You hand a drink to your friend and boyfriend before trying to take a seat still aware of the guy behind you. Before you can walk to your seat you feel a hand on your shoulder. You look back at the man in horror.

“Hey man don’t touch my girlfriend,” You look over at your boyfriend who is still lounging with a chill expression.

“This is your girlfriend?”

“Yeah man and I don’t want to repeat myself so take your hand off her yeah?” His expression doesn’t change. “Come here baby.”

You walk over to where he is and he pulls you down to sit in his lap. He doesn’t let you leave his side again that night.

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shojoisms · 2 years

Text

+ cw: oral fixation, dry humping, vaginal penetration, fem!reader, use of pet names.

+ not really beta read, just copied this from my Google docs.

Mattsun finds it cute, no, he finds you cute.

The way your doe-like eyes fixate on his hands, trailing themselves all the way to the tips of his thick, long fingers as you sit on his lap — your pretty plaid skirt bunched around your waist. You don’t even try to hide the fact that you’ve been staring for so long.

“What is it, doll,” He asks, voice as sweet as honey as he takes a hold on your chin — cradling it between those fingers you’ve grown to adore.

You don’t answer, instead you pout as Matsukawa rubs his thumb over your pretty lips. “Gotta use your words, baby,”

“I want you,”

A breathless chuckle leaves his lips, although he wasn’t laughing at you. He found it amusing just how fascinated you were with his fingers.

“Open up for me then, pretty girl,” You do as you're told, parting your lips slightly, just enough for him to dip his fingers in. You waste no time in coating them with your saliva — swirling your tongue around his digits as you continue to suck.

Fuck, Mattsun groans. His cock stirring in his sweats as you diligently suck on his fingers as if it were his cock. He damn near loses his mind when you wrap your smaller hands around his arm — his muscles involuntarily flexing underneath your touch as you force more of him into your mouth.

“Bet you wish it was my cock, huh,” he teases, his eyes darkening as stares at your form. You try to answer but all that came out was muffled moans and choked sobs.

He presses down on your tongue with enough force that has you gagging, drool seeping from the corners of your mouth.

He laughs, his lips tugging into a wicked grin. The sadist in him takes great pleasure in watching you choke and sob. Oh god how he wishes it was his cock you were choking on.

He’d almost feel bad, almost. If it weren’t for the way you were grinding your hips against his — rubbing that pretty pussy along his hardening erection.. and he swears he can feel your wetness seep through the fabric of his pants.

He swears, muttering a string of curses before finally he pulls his fingers away from your mouth.

Big, watery eyes staring back at him in confusion. “Sorry, doll.” He groans, fumbling with the band of his sweats. “I just really need to be inside you right now,”

The lopsided grin he sends you has you chewing on your bottom lip in anticipation as he kisses a trail upon your neck leading all the way to your ear. “You’ll let me, right?”

His voice is low, you can feel his warm breath fanning against the shell of your ear. “You’ll let me make us both feel good, right baby?”

You nod frantically, and he hisses as soon as he frees his cock — rubbing it against your panty clad cunt.

“Of course you will, you’re such a good girl for me,” His praises had your heart fluttering, and your cheeks felt like they were on fire. “Raise your hips baby,”

You lift your hips, pushing your panties to the side you align the tip of his cock with your cunt.

The fat, mushroom tip parting your walls upon intrusion as he forced more and more of his giant cock inside of you.

F—fuck, Matsukawa mumbles.

“Feels like I’ve won a lotto, ya know that?” He groans, finally sheathing himself inside you. You’re so tight, so warm, the feeling of your cunt feels like heaven around him — he’d live there if he could. “Your pussy feels like it was made for me.”

His large hands palm at your ass, playing with your plush globes as he uses them to lift you up and slam you back down on his cock — his balls slapping against you with a pap, pap, pap.

Matsukawa’s cock felt heavy as it dragged through your walls with each thrust. You writhe and whine, your arms wrapping around his next as he hits that special spot deep inside you.

And from your reactions, he knows he’s doing something right, he bucks into you with renewed fervor — the tip of his cock bullying your sensitive spot.

“Mattsun, Mattsun,” You cry, tears threatening to spill from the corners of your eyes as he continues fucking into you. The pathetic look upon your face has his balls tightening.

“You have no idea what you do to me, doll,”

His pace is relentless, spearing you with his cock — your head feels fuzzy from the sensation of being split in two.

“Is—sei, ‘s close, ‘s close,”

“Yeah, baby?” Matsukawa drawls, gritting his teeth as your walls spasm and constrict around him — your orgasm hitting hard leaving you a limp mess in his arms.

He holds your body close as he lazily bucks into your sloppy hole searching for his own end — the sounds of skin slapping against skin and the lewd squelching noises could be heard throughout the room.

“Your pussy’s so greedy, baby, clenching onto my cock like it’s trying to milk me for all I got,”

And with one final thrust, he cums — his cock twitching and pulsating inside you as he empties his balls, thick ribbons of white coating your walls, filling you to the brim it causes some to ooze out of your cum, drenching both yours and Matsukawa’s thighs.

You look at him, through hooded, glassy eyes. Admiring the way his hair sticks to his sweat covered forehead, he looks ethereal — like some sort of sex god, you think.

“Come on, baby, let’s get you all cleaned up,”

#haikyuu smut #hq smut #haikyuu imagines #matsukawa x reader #Matsukawa smut #matsukawa issei x you #matsukawa issei x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #matsukawa x y/n

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