#might rehouse her soon

[cryptickludovick]

Desperately tried to get some pics of Salt today cuz she molted a few days ago and her colours are so vibrant right now. Thing is she's particuarly nervous and jumpy so all I have are these half blurry shots for yall lol sorry, i tried

#lou #louspictures #she's so pretty though #and she's getting quite big #might rehouse her soon #tarantula #tarantulas #tarantula keeping #tw spiders #arachnaphobia tw #brachypelma #brachypema klaasi #louscrawlies

[hopefulqueer]

i have acquired. spider :)

#spiders #she is impossible to take a picture of rn but u better believe i'll be posting her eventually #she (gender neutral we wont kno the sex until at least the next molt) is a perfect little sling #pumpkin patch tarantula #my first invert pet #i made 8 yr old me very happy today #rn she's still in her store tube #i'm setting up her sling habitat #it'll probably be ready in the next week #and i'm sure i'll snag some pics during rehousing #this might start the beginning of an addiction like my fish tanks have become #but. oh well #also i DO need to post my fish tanks soon #maybe when juls and i acquire the apistos #:D #she is ITTY BITTY tho. little tinyguy. #her body is probably the size of my pinky tip. maybe littler #she's hard to get a good look at bc she's nervous and has burrowed further into the substrate #but i adore her. babygirl. baby.

[amazingpetenclosures]

Submitted by @cstalli

Here's my setups for my blue death feigning beetles and desert hairy scorpion! First tank is a bachelor pad for a single beetle who mounts all the other beetles I have so I separated him to keep everyone calm and happy lol. As for the communal (5) tank it's a little messy but honestly every time I clean their food out of the sand it's dirty again in like a day. They're such messy eaters!! All six love to climb onto anything they can get a grip on and constantly fall back down and immediately try again once they're right side up. I heavily recommend these guys. As for the scorpion her tank was originally so pretty and heavily decorated but she went to work excavating and burying and generally landscaping everything lol so I just let her do what she wants. I don't recommend the Zilla tank for anything with a lot of substrate, let alone sand, though. She might be getting rehoused soon so she doesn't cover the shelf in debris from her digging. Hope yall like it!

#Blue death feigning beetle #Desert hairy scorpion #Beetle #Scorpion #invertebrates #Cstalli #submission

[aseioh]

Notes: Listen, I saw those post of Bela and Donna together and my mind ran away with it. as a result I humbly offer you this story.

If anyone finds those drawings again would you mind tagging me. I would really appreciate it and I would like to thank the original artist.

Thank you. With that in mind here is a sneak peak.

Summary: Donna finds love in the most unexpected way. After all, who would even think of falling for her. Therefore it came as a big surprise to her when someone did fell. Never had she thought that she would be courted by Alcina’s oldest daughter.

As with all grand stories of lovers finding each other, the story of how Donna Beneviento found love in Bela Dimitrescu started out on an inconsequential happenstance.

‘There’s a leak in my house, and I’m afraid living near a great waterfall has its benefits and pitfalls. One of which is having damp wall bad enough to get mold.’ Donna thought to herself as she made her way to Mother Miranda’s inner sanctuary for the weekly meeting.

“I wonder if this is the mutamycete’s cousin invading my house.”

“Did you say something my dear?” Alcina said as she herself makes her way to the door, stooping slightly to enter. She holds the door until Donna enters. “Thank you, Alcina.”

“We have a mold situation! Mistress is saying that it might be the Mold’s cousin” Angie pipes up happily enjoying the attention Alcina gives to her.

“Angie hush, it’s nothing Alcina. One of the downsides living near the waterfall, I’m afraid it got too damp in one of the rooms that molds has started to grow. It’s my fault really, I should have inspected the house more often.” Donna explains, it’s a good thing she was wearing her veil, she wouldn’t want Alcina to see her embarrassment from something so small a matter.

“In any case I’ve already contacted someone from the village to clean and remove the problem. Although a more thorough inspection must be done, I wouldn’t want any more surprises.”

To their surprise Heisenberg was already there in the sanctuary, usually the rugged man was the last to arrive on which he calls it “fashionably late”. Moreau always the first to arrive every time Mother Miranda summons them.

There was a companionable silence between the two, as they normally only interact when Mother Miranda was there.

“Hello Countess, Lady Donna” As Moreau turns his focus on the two ladies arriving and tries his best to smile despite his monstrous form, Moreau has always been polite with everyone.

“What’s this about surprises?” Heisenberg asked as he lounges on his chair.

Thankfully, Mother Miranda has yet to arrive, giving the four Lords enough time to chat after all it’s not everyday that they can just gather around to talk. After a small catch up, curtesy of Angie’s animated retelling, the four Lords are now faced with a small problem.

Where should they house Donna?

Of course, as one of the Four Lords of the village she is both loved (more than the others apparently, if the village gossip is to be trusted) and feared, and although the weakest among the four she is well protected in her shrouded mansion that she had no real fear of being attacked.

Even with the slim chance that anyone would be brave enough to attack her, taking her away from the mansion poses a real threat to her safety. And that would not do.

“You could always bunker down with me at the Factory. If you don’t mind the smell of oil and a little bit of heat” Heisenberg offered as he casually took a drag off his cigar. “Hey, we might even finish one of our projects it’ll certainly save you time traveling from your house to my factory.”

“Ugh, as if. She’s a Lady Heisenberg. She’s not slumming down there with you, and she certainly need her own privacy” Alcina countered with a huff. The nerve of the man can he really not think beyond his work.

“Oh, right sorry Donna” Understanding what Alcina implied, Heisenberg had the decency to slightly blush.

“Sorry I can’t offer you to stay in my reservoir Donna. Even I think that’s no place for a Lady to live, not to mention the fish smell and cramped living quarters.” Moreau said apologetically.

“That’s alright Sal, I understand. Thank you for thinking about my welfare.”

“Well that leaves my Castle. And of course, you’re staying with me. I will not take ‘No’ for an answer. You living in a hovel just won’t do my dear” Alcina smiled triumphantly at the revelation

“If you were thinking of housing her, why did you pose the question to us?”

“Simple. I wanted to see what your reactions would be and honestly I wasn’t surprised by it”

“Smug bitch” Heisenberg huffs under his breath, he had to admit he walked right in that one.

“What was that?”

“Nothing”

“Are you sure Alcina, I don’t want to impose to you and your daughter. Aren’t you busy with the harvest and wine production? Not to mention I still have the other dolls to rehouse I can’t leave them there alone.” Donna inquired slightly unsure on what will happen to her small friends.

“That can be taken care of. Heisenberg can house them as well as lending some of his soldat to ensure that the villagers won’t go snooping around where they’re not wanted. Isn’t that right Heisenberg?”

“Yeah, yeah, leave those to me. Anything else your Highness?”

“She’s gonna need some of her stuff carried from her house to my Castle be a good boy and fetch them for us will you” Alcina smiles.

At that Heisenberg growls

“Now, now no need for that. Thank you Karl for your help” as Donna pushes herself in between Alcina and Heisenberg

“No thanks needed Donna, anything for my favorite lab assistant.”

At that Donna chuckles “Karl, I’m you’re only Lab mate.”

“Exactly”

With that Mother Miranda enters the Sanctuary and everyone went back to their places. Alcina and Heisenberg opposite each other in front of Miranda, while Donna and Moreau are at her right and left side, respectively.

After a grueling five hours of discussion and bickering (mostly of Alcina and Heisenberg), Mother Miranda had deemed it right adjourn the meeting and continue it the following week with cooler heads and a more substantial plan.

“Well dear are you ready? I’m sure Angie here is excited to see her new home. Heisenberg will take care of the rest of your baggage.”

“Yes, I’m ready. Let’s go”

A short and companionable silent ride later and both Lords arrive at the front of Castle Dimitrescu. This isn’t the first time Donna came to the Castle, but this is the first time she would be remaining for an extended period of time.

She knew of Alcina’s daughters, but she has never interacted with them. The most of their interaction stems from short glimpses and hearing the girls giggle from one of the rooms when she visits. Not that she made a personal effort to meet them, she was still rather self-conscious and awkward with first meetings. The very idea of interacting with new people (even if they are close to the people she considers as family) freezes her.

 It’s a good thing Angie’s always with her, she can be the extension of Donna’s subconscious.

“Welcome to Castle Dimitrescu dear, I hope your stay with us is pleasant. Consider this your home away from home” Alcina smiles widely as she leads Donna to the main hall. “Daughters come down here, we have a guest to welcome.”

With that swarms of insects came down from the foyer only to split into three distinct form. Three beautiful ladies came to rest in front of the pair.

“Daughters, Lady Beneviento and Angie will be staying with us for a while. I expect you to be on your best behavior.”

“Of course, Mother. Welcome Lady Beneviento, Angie.” Bela bows slightly as she welcomes Donna, the other two soon follows.

“Very good, I’m sure Donna is tired from the meeting as am I. Shall we all have dinner later? Bela would you mind escorting Donna to one of the guest rooms, I’m sure she’ll need to freshen up or lay down for a bit.”

“Understood Mother. Come my Lady, let me show you to your room” as Bela leads Donna to the guest room, there’s almost a tense atmosphere between them.

“Here you are Lady Beneviento. Ring the bell if you ever need something, We’ll assign a maid for your room and they’ll fetch it for you.” Bela smiles as she explains it to Donna, the room itself is big and opulent as expected from a guest room of the castle.

“Thank you, my Lady, for you and your Mother’s hospitality, this is indeed very much suitable. Angie and I will fit right in am I right Angie” at this Angie who’s been looking left and right at the place nods enthusiastically.

“Please don’t mind us, we’ll try to stay quiet as possible. We wouldn’t want to impose on your busy schedule.”

“Call me Bela, my Lady. and don’t worry, you won’t be an imposition. In fact, you just might be what we need at this castle right now. A breath of fresh air, if you don’t mind, I would love to chat with you about the outside world. As I’m sure you know, my sisters and I cannot leave the castle grounds for too long.” Bela asked unsure if what she’s asking is too much for the usually quiet Lord.

Sensing some hesitation from the young woman in front of her, Donna made her decision as well. ‘I will be staying here for some time. I may as well get to know the daughters Alcina is so fond of’.

“Of course, Bela, I would love to. And please call me Donna, if we’re to chat and get to know one another we can get rid of that formality. I certainly won’t mind.” And although Bela cannot see the smile on Donna’s face, she can surely hear the warmth of Donna’s voice.

“Yes please. Well then Donna, I’ll leave you to rest for now. Shall I fetch you for dinner time?”

“Yes, of course. I would love nothing more.”

With that Bela takes her leave of the room, and as she walks away, she can’t help but to smile to herself.

‘A breath of fresh air indeed’

#resident evil village #donna beneviento #bela dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu #Donna x Bela pairing #The pairing I didn't know I needed #Until I saw it #Cassandra & Daniela tries to be good wing(wo)men #spoilers: they made it slightly harder #Oh well its the thought that counts right? #Right Bela?

[simon-newman]

Tarantula update

I’m getting close to 2 years of keeping Ts and my... Clutter (is that the term for a group of spiders?) has grown in numbers more than I’ve expected it to.

So. How are they?

As far as i know they’re all alive and well. That’s one thing.

As for the specific spiders.

#01 Tliltocatl vagans (Mio??)

Not really a fan of me taking photos of her. Voracious eater and overall sweetheart to manage. She was biting my poking straw during the last rehouse and getting uncomfortably bold with each pounce.

That is. She didn’t attack me or try to defend herself. She simply considered the straw to be food...

In the end I had to cup her for the move to be possible... Fun fun fun...

I’m like 95% sure it’s a female and (not sure if I’ve mentioned before) one of the name suggestions is Mio.

On the other hand I wanted to give that name to L.klugi if it turns out to be female so I might need to think of another name.

#02 Chromatopelma cyaneopubescens (Typhoon)

Sir not appearing in this summary. He’s still a part of a breeding loan... Or being currently digested by his girlfriend. I’ll call and ask about him in a few more weeks.

#03 Phormictopus Sp. “green (gold carapace)”

Finally got a chance to look at him! First such opportunity since NOVEMBER. It’s hard to see on the photo but his femurs have a bit of green on them.

He’s growing really large - the last molt is almost exactly 10cm in diagonal leg span and my attempt at measuring him when I had the opportunity gave me the result of 11 cm DLS of a kinda relaxed spider. He might be around 12 cm actually.

Fussy eater until recently and overall an ungrateful prick. I’ve checked another molt and he still seems male so... I’ll need another name.

#04 Psalmopoeus cambridgei (Bertha)

Confirmed female and the only escapee in my collection. She has molted again since then and when fully spread she might actually be larger than the Phormictopus above.

The plastic jar I thought would last her for few more months might be too small after another molt.

Also - as before she still sucks when it comes to hunting roaches... Beautiful but annoying spider to deal with.

#05 Lasiodora klugi

FINALLY.

You can actually see hints of how this spider will look ultimately.

Really hoping it’s a female but the last molt was torn in the very spot you need to check to be able to tell...

All right. You can keep your secrets... FOR NOW!

Anyway. The amazing growth rate I’ve been told about? After having this spider for nearly a year and a half it finally started! After dropping it’s sling colors the spider grew A LOT.

I’ve actually rehoused it ahead of time before it molted - expecting this box to last 3-4 molts. I’m afraid I’ll need to rehouse again after next molt. The spider grew by at least 25% and probably more.

#06 Harpactira pulchripes (Gilgamesh)

So... It turns out my most expensive spider is also a male...

He’s not mature yet but I’ve got some good pictures of him and it was pretty obvious even for me. People online only confirmed that.

He’s around 8 cm in DLS and at his age some males mature already. I’m guessing 2 more molts before I need to look for a female for him.

As you can see I’ve rehoused him to a tall jar that’s filled with soil up to about 3/5 of it’s height. The remaining 2/5 is filled with branches. Instead of digging this little bugger decided to make a web castle... He’s not eating either so I assume he’ll molt soon. After that we’ll see if he’ll dig a nice burrow or settle for a nest between branches.

#07 & #08 Phormictopus Sp. “Bayahibe”

Jewels of my collection. Still small slings but they’re much better behaved than the other Phormictopus.

Also - great eaters unlike the other one.

How good are they? Well. Some people out there are worrying about feeding small spiders live food. It’s “for their safety” and not to give them something they can’t handle.

I had spiders that were simply afraid of prey that was “too big” for them.

Those guys? Well...

This is one of them with an adult cockroach. It stood no chance.

So much for the need of a pre-killed prey. The spiders are predators and if they’re willing to pounce the prey they will take it down (and roaches can’t really fight back).

#09 & #10 Chromatopelma cyaneopubescens

The two slings I’ve received for lending Typhoon.

I’ve wanted his offspring but... Well. The breeder insisted I take two slings off their stock instead of waiting for a potential egg sac.

Overall I’ve already got practice with this species and just placed them into larger boxes already to allow some webbing to take place.

Hopefully this time I’ll get at least one female.

#Animal post #Tarantulas #Spider #Chromatopelma #Phormictopus #Tliltocatl #Harpactira #Psalmopoeus #Lasiodora #Tliltocatl vagans #Chromatopelma cyaneopubescens #Phormictopus Sp. Green-Gold Carapace #Phormictopus Sp. Bayahibe #Lasiodora klugi #Psalmopoeus cambridgei #Harpactira pulchripes

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 173

It was terribly difficult to get a speech written for the press conference coming up in… three hours from now. You’d been lingering over it all morning. Rhodey had gotten the first phone call over it- one of appreciation for his efforts, of course, and to check on his status. And then to ask him if he’d like to make it official. Him agreeing set another feeling of relief in motion. Knowing you had so many good people taking your spots… that made the thought of stepping back easier. It was also terribly funny. The thought of appointing him as the Avengers’ military liaison. When the two of you had met… he’d been doing the same thing for Stark Industries. And round the circle went...

While you and Tony had gotten caught up in thoughts of retirement you knew this was far more likely to be a changing of positions. The Avengers still needed a lot of help, even if it wasn’t physically fighting battles. You still had your own title with the UN, forced on you or not. And after a catastrophe like Sokovia, it wouldn’t look good for anybody if you just walked away. You had to still do PR work for them, and they still needed to be funded. But that was a far cry from early morning phone calls and being on the frontlines of world-ending events. 

...of course, you hoped no more of those would come knocking at earth’s door. But. The probability of them showing up from time to time was higher than them not. And. In the event that the Avengers needed to recall Team Iron… yes. Absolutely. You and Tony would never turn your backs so completely. How could you? That was what had started all of this, after all. Tony’s proclivity to make things right. His need to protect people. Sometimes even from things he’d created himself. 

A knock came on your home-office door, and Tony opened the door, standing half in the room. You looked up from your computer screen. He was already dressed. Smartly. Sharply, as always. Three piece suit. Dark silver slacks and a fitted suit jacket, black waist coat and button up shirt, and a maroon tie. His dark plaid pocket square was a little askew, but you’d have time to fix it before the two of you took the stage downstairs in the press room. 

You must have been staring, because his grin was a little knowing as he put one hand in his pocket and flicked his other arm up to make a show of checking his watch. “Thought I’d see how you were doing. It’s been an hour since you locked yourself in here. But. I can tell I’m distracting you.” 

“Immensely.” Smiling at him. You’d been caught. There was no need to hide your appreciation for just how incredibly handsome he was. “Who dressed you today? They did a fantastic job.” You hung your arm over the back of your computer chair, now putting your roving gaze on full display. 

“I dressed myself, thank you very much.” Hand to his chest for a moment, mocking the highest of offense. “Now- who picked out my suit- I can’t recall-” 

“Someone who has an eye for what you look good in, no doubt.” Grinning then. 

“Mn. She’s pretty good at it by now. Definitely has my unique flare locked down.” She being you. He moved out of the doorway to come closer to your desk, propping himself on the corner.

You made no attempts to hide your roving eyes yet again as you reached up to lightly pluck at one of the top buttons of his jacket. “I’ll have to send her a thank you card. You always look so good.” 

He leaned in as you tilted your head up to meet him, your noses brushing. “I’ll pass the message along.” Sealing the sentiment with a lingering, sweet kiss. A little hum traveling from his lips to yours. This was dangerous, and the two of you could very well end up being late for the press conference. You also ran a high risk of ruining his nicely tailored and finely picked out suit. The thing that was getting the both of you in trouble. When you found the strength to part he threatened it all over again as he wore a small smirk on the edge of his lips. “Oh. Honey. Got a message for you- there seems to be a secret admirer for your talents of fashion-” 

You silenced him with another kiss, one that half missed its mark as it was marred by his chuckling, but you put a stop to that pretty soon. Turning the laughter into some warm and breathy noise, replacing his ever-present sass with a more inherent need. It was hard to shut him up. 

That was yet another one of your unique talents where he was concerned. You were sure he knew. 

                                                               ---

The pair of you were a stylish yet somewhat dour match at the front of the Stark Industries media room. You matched his suit with a fitted, long sleeved houndstooth dress, with thick steel gray trim at the hem. Your pops of dark red came in the form of ruby drop earrings and a heart-shaped necklace you were overly fond of. 

The press had been buzzing for an hour waiting for your arrival. Most of your speech was not drafted, which was dangerous. But you couldn’t linger on it any longer. You had a base. The rest would have to come from somewhere deep inside you. ...just hopefully not too deep. 

“The loss of life that occurred in Sokovia forty-eight hours ago is a devastation unlike anything the earth has seen. And the loss of land is something that had previously been unfathomable.” Statistics came up on your prompter that you read over, trying not to wane while you called out the known casualties. The known injured. Even while the Avengers had tried their best to save lives… it was never a zero sum. Never. 

“The Stark Relief Foundation is on the scene currently, rehousing, rehoming- trying to find a place for every person that lost theirs in that terrible battle. In times like this it’s important to come together. It’s important to see through the fog of war and remember that we are one planet. We need to look out for each other. Take care of each other. That’s why I’m looking forward to discussions with the nations of the globe on a solution for the people of Sokovia. Sokovians didn’t have much, but I know they would have helped if it were anywhere else.” 

It was as important to mention that Stark Industries (and the Avengers by extension) were running clean up. And not so much mention it was clean up of a mess that maybe had been potentially caused by them. It was important to call out the need to come together, and to bring leaders into the narrative, so that they would have to call. So that they would have to do something. Otherwise be labeled as the ones who failed to act during an international crisis. You knew you couldn’t count on anyone’s blind charity. Forcing them was the only option. 

“The Sokovians have faced real horrors. It is going to take a lot of time to heal. While we are glad that the Avengers were there to assist them, I have to make special mention of Colonel James Rhodes. He is a highly decorated officer who has been a valuable asset to several missions as of late- this one especially. It’s why I’m pleased to appoint him our new military liaison. I know with his guidance and with his knowledge, we can build a much needed bridge between the authorities of the world and the Avengers- the Avengers who without fear and without hesitation charge into every catastrophe that calls upon them.” 

This speech might have been better given by someone that wasn’t part of the Avengers. But there was no one else to give it. Even if there was- your team wasn’t one person after all- they didn’t want to. This seemed to always be something that you had to do. And you’d still have to do it. Even when you and Tony announced that you’d be stepping away. ...which wouldn’t be a public affair. That would be a team discussion. And maybe even less of a discussion and more just… telling each individual. When the time was right. Which would be sooner than you were comfortable with. But you had to just do it. Or else you might not ever. 

                                                              ---

The next day, in your brand new office at the brand new Avengers Facility, while you were busy wading through damage reports and expense reports and emails and email reports- ...okay it was getting a little ridiculous. Like it always did after a huge incident- 

There came a hesitant knock at your door. And an even more hesitant man behind it. Clint, in fact. Who put his hands in his pockets and hung his head a little. “Do you have a minute?” 

Already you knew what this was about. This bastard was going to do it before you. Talk about guts. You stopped your keystrokes. “Sure. What’s up?” 

He shut the door behind him, only more confirmation of what was about to happen. And then he came to sit in front of your desk, putting his hands in front of him. Cloudy. Thinking. Thinking about how to- “You know. I rehearsed this a thousand times in my head. It was supposed to be really simple.” His smile was self deprecating. And a little sad. 

Yours suddenly matched. “You’re leaving, huh?” 

“That obvious?” He glanced up at you suddenly but his surprise faded quickly. “-yeah. Guess it would be.” To you, he meant. And meant nothing by it, either. 

“You have kids. And another one on the way. Something I had no idea about. I can’t imagine how Laura does it.” 

“She’s stronger than me, that’s for sure.” 

“I wouldn’t doubt it.” Grinning a little wryly. He seemed to appreciate the humor. “You tell anyone else yet?” 

“Nat knows.” Obviously she did. Nat knew everything about him. They were closer than you’d ever be with either of them. That was fine. “But. I wanted to come to you first.” 

“Why me?” Not that it mattered. But really, you hadn’t considered yourself high on the list of people Clint would tell that he was leaving. At least not the first after Natasha. 

He took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh as his head tilted. “Well… you kinda run things around here.” Part of you wanted to reject this. Wanted to also follow it up with not for long. But that wouldn’t even be true. “And. You look out for us. I know I haven’t said as much but. I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me. And for the team. I don’t think they appreciate it as much. How much you put yourself out there. So we don’t have to.” 

Someone like Clint would be the one to openly admire the benefits that came with something like that. It was true. For someone who hid almost all of his private life. Someone who wanted nothing to do with the fame that came with being a superhero. Someone who just wanted to do what was right- ...and then not get caught holding the aftermath the way you had to- 

His aforementioned appreciation was just that. And it was deep. 

“Tony and I are used to it.” Deflection came as a natural reflex. Out of everyone on your team, you and Tony were the most used to being media darlings. Or being the ones everyone loved to hate. Either way. It was a life you knew.

“Doesn’t mean you had to. Doesn’t mean you had to do any of what you’re doing right now.” 

You felt a little helpless as he looked at you. “Someone had to.” 

“And we’re lucky it was you.” 

You couldn’t recall a time Clint had ever been this candid with you. But, if he really was leaving, maybe this was the best time for it. To get out everything the two of you had never had the chance to. Your smile was small but you couldn’t help it. “Thanks, Clint. Will you at least send me some baby pictures?” 

At this he laughed. “Sure. Why not? Maybe it’ll give Stark some ideas.” 

Your hand came straight up. “Don’t start. Or I’ll rescind my blessing.” 

“I’ll still leave.” He grinned as he stood. 

“But it won’t be as nice as it just was.” You stood after him and offered your hand across the desk. 

He considered it. For almost too long a time. But finally he gave you a shake. And right in the middle of it he gave you a more serious look. “You and Stark consider going down that road yet?” Apparently before Clint left, he needed to be sure of this. 

“We’ve talked about it.” Not so much specifically having kids, but, about having a life. Which you were a few weeks out from attempting. And still not ready to tell anyone. 

“Don’t talk for too long.” He held your hand still then. “Opportunities don’t come often.” 

“No they don’t.” Agreeing with him. It certainly wasn’t now or never. But… That moment was getting awfully close. 

                                                              ---

Over the next handful of days, the Facility really started coming to life. Some of the team had gotten a little more settled in their personal private quarters. Damage Control also had their own host of barracks- which you weren’t sure how you felt about. The Avengers had never been about trying to recreate SHEILD. And the way they marched around campus wasn’t all that convincing that someone wasn’t pulling the strings while you had your back turned but…

You couldn’t control everything. You didn’t want to anymore, in fact. So you had to let that go. It helped to have experienced agents in the field, when you dispatched them. When you needed them. So. ...maybe it was a necessary evil. You tried hard not to think about it. 

Instead you focused on your meeting with legal that afternoon, and promptly afterwards you dropped down to the science labs. Alight with excitement and activity. There was one person you were there to see specifically, and she seemed to be hosting a mini-lecture, talking strongly about things that went right over your head in concerns to her research. You politely waited for her to finish and clear her assistants out, and once she did-

“Helen, can I have a word with you?” You felt a little nervous, but had no inclination to show it. 

That she even still wanted to be here after everything that had happened to her was a miracle. But… you suspected what you were offering- or about to- had a lot to do with it. “We’re running on borrowed time.” 

“Don’t I know it.” Joking. But it seemed to miss its mark. She gave you a polite smile and nothing more. So you quickly moved on. Plopping a hefty folder down, you pushed it her way over the table. “We’re done drawing up the documents to merge Stark Industries and U-GIN. It’s less about us and more about you. We’d like to offer you a permanent position here. As head of bio-organic sciences for the Avengers.” 

She made a play at not being so intrigued. It failed, but she probably had no idea. “Is that so? What are you offering?” 

“Your own labs. Your own funding. Public backing. We just ask that when the Avengers need help you give it.” That was really more what this was about. Her tech had been instrumental in helping the team. In keeping some of them alive even. It was useful. And they needed it. Not everyone was a Super Soldier. 

Opening the folder, she flipped through a few of the pages. She was an extremely smart woman, smarter than you would ever hope to be, but even you knew that telltale glaze of the eyes when faced with legalese. “What about housing?” 

This- ...this you hadn’t considered. “Uh- it’s not in the official documents. But, if you want something here, we’d be happy to accommodate you.” 

As suddenly as she’d opened it, she snapped the folder shut, putting her hand on top of it and looking directly at you. “I’ll be very straight with you. I need stability. If you offer that I’ll stay.” 

Seeing as how you had nothing to lose by doing so, you nodded. “Sure. Tell me what you need.” 

“I don’t want quarters here. I need a house. I have a son and… I’m sure you can imagine that life going back and forth from labs hasn’t been easy on him.” She softened then, and there was a sheen of guilt that ghosted her. Worried she was a bad mother, perhaps. 

“I had no idea.” 

“Not many people do. And I’d like to keep it that way, as well.” 

You almost shrugged. But this was a little bit more important than a casual conversation. This was everything to her. You had money to throw around that no one else on the planet did. Sometimes that slipped by you. Terrible though it was. “Sure. A house. And confidentiality. We can provide all that.” 

Hearing your agreement, and trusting you for that matter, she eased up. Her smile was a little more real. “Alright then. I’ll sign.” 

“Great. Glad to hear it.” The meeting was over. So you thought you probably should leave. She’d hand in the documents to Pepper or somebody else who would then hand them to legal for processing- but- “What’s your son’s name?” 

At this she really did brighten. It was easy to see- she loved her work. She loved being a scientist. But she loved him more. A feeling maybe one day you would know… “Amadeus. He’s twelve.” 

“I bet he takes after you.” 

Now she was grinning. “You have no idea.” 

                                                              ---

Tony had introduced you to your quarters that night. While you weren’t excited at the idea of living there, and clearly neither was he, it was still nice to have a home away from home away from… well, if the two of you could actually get it together enough to make an actual home… maybe that’s why it felt so bad. The penthouse suite of the Tower wasn’t supposed to be your home either. You didn’t want to get too attached to the lofty Facility living space that Tony had put aside for the two of you. And there was always the danger that you would. 

It was why you didn’t want to decorate it too much but it needed a little bit more personality than what he’d given it. Which was fine. Tony wasn’t really a homemaker. He seemed to give you credit where it was due, though, over the next three days around other more important things like meetings and press junkets of goodwill and hope, you did decorate it. Make it more cozy. And the night you decided you were done enough, he actually slept. 

And so did you. 

For a little while, at least. At five in the morning your mind stirred. It would have been so nice to sleep like a normal person. You were getting there. Close. Things were wrapping. You just had a few more personal things to do. But your head was clearer than it had been in a long time, and while the sun was lifting, you decided to go for a run around the campus. It meant leaving Tony asleep alone in that giant bed, but you did stop to admire his deeply sleeping form. Not held by terrors or worries. If only he could be like that all the time. 

The run was nice. Nobody else seemed to be up yet. But as you stopped just outside the living area again after a good five mile tour, breathing hard, hands on your knees, you spied Steve sitting outside on the patio. Alone. Cup of coffee wisping away. This was probably a sign. And no matter how hard this was going to be, it was now or never. 

You rounded the area and came over to the table, he seemed like he was a million miles away until you got close enough. He then looked up and his smile was warm. “Good morning.” 

“Good morning.” Huffed out a little, still gathering yourself up. “Mind if I sit with you?” 

He made a broad gesture with a sweep of his arm. “Please. Sit. You want some coffee?” 

Water would have been better, but while he was offering- “If you don’t mind making me a cup.” 

“Not at all.” Just like that he got up and went back into the kitchen. It left you sitting there, thinking about just how you were going to do this. How you were supposed to. What was the right way to break the news. When he came back he set down not only a cup but a shaker of sugar and a little carton of half and half. “-I don’t know how you take it. I should have asked.” 

“That’s okay. Thanks for making me some.” This was nice but it was also stilted. He probably sensed it. And even after you prepped your cup, the two of you sat in silence that was less than amicable. Finally you decided you just had to rip the bandaid off and get it over with. “So.” 

“So.” He was gazing at you. Just short of intensely. Almost like he was expecting you to talk about something. 

Your smile back was weak at best and brief. A flash and then gone as you looked down into your coffee. “So… uh. Tony and I…” The thought trailed off, not sure what to say even after all that thinking. 

“Are pregnant?” He tried to finish what you were trying to get out. 

And it completely stunned you. Your head whipped up- even stranger still- getting the sense of a small well of hopefulness from him. “No- no.” Denial was quick and easy. “What?” Your head reeled a little further back, almost in offense. “What? No. Why would you say that?” He looked completely caught. Eyes a little wide. Suddenly very, very nervous. “Steve why would you say that?” Your words were quick and clipped. 

He was very close to grimacing. “I- ...I don’t know what to say right now that won’t get me in more trouble.” 

“Do I look pregnant to you?” 

Quickly he shoved his hand out, palm up. “No! You look great! You look- you look how you always look!” 

“Then why would you say that?” You weren’t sure why but you found yourself a little disturbed that he’d just say something like that. 

“I don’t know- you-” He sighed, shoulders dropping from their tense position as he hung his head with a little shake. “I don’t know. You’ve seemed happier, I guess. These past couple of weeks. Despite everything that’s happened. And…” Another long breath pushed out of him and he looked up at you again. “Let’s be honest. You kinda seem like you’re getting your affairs together. At least that’s how it’s felt.” 

Had you made it that obvious? “Oh.” Now you felt terrible. “Yeah I… I guess I have been.” Letting him down finally from that anxious high. A little too soon actually, so you threw a look back at him. “Well I’m not pregnant.” 

“Okay. I won’t make that mistake again.” Grinning, testing the waters. 

Your grin back was not as full. “But. Tony and I… we’ve been thinking of taking some time away.” The way his heart just sank killed you. He tried not to show it. But you felt its quick drop. It propelled you into overcorrection. “Just- just for a little while.”

But he shook his head, and spoke through his sad smile. “Not for a little while.” 

“No. Not for a little while.” Echoing him, unable to look at him then. Guilty. “We want a lot of time. We want-” It sucked, that it hurt saying this. It shouldn’t have. You wanted a life with Tony. Why was that such a terrible thing to say? 

“If anyone deserves it, it’s you and Tony.” He was sure about this. A steady presence after all that initial stumbling. 

“Thanks.” But it all felt hopeless. 

He tipped his head a little. “Are you asking for my blessing?” Joking, just a little. It wasn’t really that funny. This exchange was familiar to both of you now. 

You gave a shrug and then decided to stop meandering, looking down. “I can’t leave unless you’re okay with it. And I don’t want that to back you into a corner- tell me- honestly- if you’re not-” 

“I’m okay with it.” He cut you off with a strength you did not possess right now. And then surprised you again as he set a hand over yours on the table. The way he said your name was strange yet familiar at the same time and you looked up at him. “We’ll be okay.” 

But it was like he’d stuck a knife into you with that. Like he’d actually denied you. It hurt all the same. “Will you?” You asking this seemed to stun him, for some reason. His gaze went a little more than foggy. Distant. Until eventually his eyes left yours. Something tangled inside him, though he was holding back. Knowing exactly who he was sitting with. His guilt poked you like a hot knife. And soon you worried… you worried you weren’t actually going to be able to leave. He didn’t want you to go. But it seemed he was feeling guilty- ashamed, too- of thinking of asking you to stay. Even for a little while longer. “Steve? You can talk to me. About anything. Whatever it is you wanna say. Just say it.” 

Getting his attention back finally he breathed a noise out, dropping his head in a nod. “Look… we’ve been through a lot. And… I’m gonna miss you.” 

“Come on.” Turning your hand over in his, giving him a wiggle. “I have an office upstairs- and a suite. Tony has labs here and projects he’s excited about. You’ll still see me. I’m not disappearing completely. I still have to do press for the Avengers. And do payroll and all that. I’m not leaving here. I’m not abandoning you guys.” 

“Good. I’m glad to hear it. But that’s not what I meant.” 

Steve meant… he’d miss fighting alongside you. He’d miss getting mission statements. Getting debriefings. Hell, even fighting with you about what direction was best. It wasn’t always fun, it was never easy. But… it was the basis for a lot of your relationship. And he would miss having you in that part of his life. 

The two of you were staring at each other. Before you knew it, a few tears had escaped down past the line of your lashes. “Yeah. I’m gonna miss you, too.” 

It was hard to tell who got up first. But the end result was still the same. He’d pulled you into a tight hug. He was letting you go. He was telling you this was okay. It was okay to leave. To start a life. He was letting you know he would take over. Without question. He would do his best. He would lead the Avengers. He would fight the fights. 

...and you’d miss each other. 

                                                              ---

Aside from all the usual work you had to put in after a crisis, nothing happened immediately after your talk with Steve for the next few days. It was why you suspected a storm was on its way. Especially if you kept putting off having a similar talk with the rest of your teammates. The one with Steve had been so emotionally taxing, it had put you off wanting to do it again. 

But the universe perhaps for once was on your side. And it forced your teammates to you instead. All at once. 

You’d just come out of a long meeting hosted at one of the conference rooms in the Facility. Once the air had cleared and everyone had left the area, you double checked your schedule. Clear for the rest of the night. It would be a nice time to reconvene with Tony. See if he’d done any similar talking yet- 

“Lady.” Thor called your attention from down the hall, heavy boots bringing him to you in just a few steps. “I would like to speak with you.” 

For one reason or another, anxiety flared tight in your chest. But you had no good reason not to. Feelings aside. “Sure, Thor. Why don’t we take a walk?” 

“I’d like that.” His smile tried to ease your fears. It missed its mark. Outside in the dying light of the sun the air was muggy and not at all as refreshing as you’d hoped. Still, you stuck your hands into your pockets and waited for him to say whatever it was he had to say. He didn’t take too long. Only waiting until you were far enough out of earshot of the compound. “Before the Vision was born, I visited a holy place called the Water of Sights.” 

Oh. So he was jumping right in. You had little time to react to this new information. “Is that on earth?” Or had he traveled somewhere else? 

“It is everywhere. In every realm. The Water of Sights is inhabited by a people called the Norns. They see what is to come.” 

Even though you really didn’t understand too much about this, you nodded. “That’s where you had your vision, right? About JARVIS- or- err- Vision- and the Infinity Stones?” 

“Yes.” He said this so resolutely it startled you momentarily. But much more so when he stopped walking. You turned, a little in front of him, but still close. His eyes watched yours. Deeply. “I saw you.” 

“Me?” Hand raising to not only gesture at yourself, but to press at your chest just a little. That anxiety was starting to get the better of you. You felt very tight. “Why me?” 

“That is what I would like to find out. In my vision I saw the Infinity Stones. Four of them.” 

“Four? I thought you said there were six?” 

“I saw the four I believe we know of. That we have had contact with, even if brief.” Really, though, what it sounded like was he was pitching you this information in the hopes that you knew something he didn’t. So he could tie it all together.

But not only did you know nothing about this. You also wanted nothing to do with it. You started shaking your head. It was too little too late now, though. You couldn’t deny this. Thor had seen you in a vision about the stones. All you could do was plead ignorant. Lie. ...it didn’t seem right. “My powers- whatever they are- come from a stone.” 

“Are you certain?” 

“Mostly?” Offering this with a raise of both your hands and a tight uptilt of your voice. “I don’t know. We’re still trying to figure it out. Nobody else knows. Tony had been doing some experiments with Bruce- having to do with gamma signatures and… stuff that’s way beyond me. But. They said that’s what they think. And if that’s what they think-” 

“Then the probability that it is correct is very high.” Thor’s gaze went a little foggy as he nodded. “But you know nothing of which stone? Or what happened?” 

You crossed your arms. “No. I’m sorry I can’t help you. When I know more you’re now the first I’ll check in with.” Aside Tony, of course. 

His attention returned fully to you and his smile was sure as he reached out to lay a hand on your shoulder. “I appreciate that, Lady. I mean to leave soon, to travel the realms and find out more about the stones. But. Whatever it meant- you in my vision- I believe it can only mean good things.” 

Your nose wrinkled and reluctance was easy. “Why?” 

“For the same reason that I trust the Vision. He possesses the Mind Stone, and means to do good with it. If you have anything to do with another stone, it will only help us. You are one of the most trustworthy people I know. And I know your heart is good.” 

His optimism was a little hard to take in all at once. You decided to focus on something else, “Wait- I mean- thank you- but… Tony thinks I was experimented on- or that I had some interaction with a stone when I was younger. Kind of like Wanda. And Pietro. But you didn’t see them. I don’t understand.” 

“Nor do I. But I’m hoping my travels will reveal more information.” 

This was an unsatisfactory answer. In fact it wasn’t an answer at all. And really now you felt worse. Thor was putting a lot on you all at once about these stones, not that he was doing it on purpose you were sure. But you really didn’t want anything to do with them. You’d almost mostly decided as long as Tony never brought it up again… maybe you’d just never talk about it. But now Thor was telling you he saw you in a vision- 

“Lady, everything will be alright. You have my word.” 

Your spiraling must have been a little too obvious. You forced a smile. “Sure.” Not really agreeing with or even believing him. “Can I just ask you that we keep this between us?” 

He nodded. “It was why I wanted to speak with you alone.” 

You were undecided if this was better or worse. That Thor’s instinct was to not let anyone else know, too. ...probably worse.                                                               ---

The talk with Thor had left you a little frazzled and worse for wear. Your immediate instinct was to find Tony. So you went back to the compound. And while your heart was already in the suite, your attention was stolen by two fingers on the ground level training floor. You could have easily passed them by, but- moving beyond the catwalk, one of them spotted you. 

And then in the next second Pietro was up there with you. “You’re a hard woman to get a hold of, you know that?” He leaned over the balcony, grinning. 

“Just busy.” Your nerves were too shot for this encounter. But it didn’t seem like you had much of a choice. “How are you feeling?” The least you could do was check in on him. Maybe he was right. Maybe you were extremely unavailable. Little did he know that was about to get worse. 

His head dropped, hands clasped together. “Fine.” Answer short and clipped. The air between you was tense. You thought about excusing yourself. “As far as I can tell, that’s because of you. I’ve asked around. No one seems to know what I’m talking about.” 

You found yourself a little too upset very quickly and you put a hand up to him to get his attention. When he looked at you, “What happened between us? Whatever I did for you? It needs to stay between us. Okay?” 

Turning the other way on the railing, he splayed his arms out, brows knit. “Why?” 

“Because I don’t know what I did.” You were being a little harsh, but you just didn’t have it in you to be gentle right now. Even if he seemed like he needed that. “All I know is you’re alive. That’s what’s important, right?” 

“I shouldn’t be alive.” That careless sarcastic facade reduced to ashes in mere seconds. And… for a moment, behind your eyes, you saw Tony. Collapsing into a chair in the lab. Looking at you with pained eyes. You had to shake yourself free. “I shouldn’t be but…” Pietro continued and you tried to yank yourself out of that memory. He put a hand on his chest. “But I am. And I’m trying to figure out what comes next.” 

Wanda had stopped what she was doing and was now standing just below. Listening in, no doubt. You took a deep breath. “Are you two staying? With the Avengers?” 

He shrugged. “Seems like we are.” 

“Then you need to work really hard. The world is going to be looking at you two. Sokovians who fought in its war. Who now stand for something greater. The media is already trying to take advantage of you for headlines.” 

The roll of his eyes- his carelessness- it bugged the hell out of you. “I don’t care about all that.” 

You got very close to putting your finger right into his chest as you pointed at him. “Well you have to. If you’re going to be part of this team you have to care. You and your sister. And they’ll look after you. They’ll protect you.” 

He seemed annoyed. “Who says we need protecting? We got by on our own. We can again.” 

“The world has seen you. They know you now. You are enhanced individuals. Not only that, but you’re now only under the protection of the Avengers. An American organization. You’re going to have to get your citizenship-” 

Wanda had stepped onto the catwalk. And she was interrupting you. “We are citizens of Sokovia.” 

You were about to flare. Burn them both up to a crisp. You didn’t want to deal with this right now. But a new energy had entered. Where Wanda had joined on the left, you heard pointed footsteps on your right. Tony had appeared. You didn’t know where from or how he knew to come get you. You just knew that you were grateful. He started waving his arm about. “Look. That’s great and all. I get it. The patriotic flare. But Sokovia is gone. And someone needs to take you in.” When he finally came to a stop you were seconds from sagging against him. His loving brush across your back kept you sane in that moment. 

Both of them stood together, almost opposite you and Tony purposefully. Wanda narrowed her eyes. “You cannot ask us to abandon our home.” 

Tony put a hand up. “Not abandon. Nobody said abandon. But, let’s get real here for a second. You’re enhanced. You’re on American soil. You don’t get smart about this, the President is gonna roll up here and make examples out of you. The guy’s been pretty twitchy these days. Don’t count on his mercy. He’s not like us.” 

“Not like you. Yet it sounds like you aren’t giving us another choice. So how are you different? One prison over another.” Wanda really seemed vehement about this. You weren’t sure why. 

So you tried to find some footing on her level. Every attempt was made to keep your tone gentle. “You fought. You understood the notion of helping people. Of righting what went wrong. You saw what the Avengers stood for. You see the work that’s going in now. We are not your enemies. We want what’s best for you. Sokovia is gone. I know nobody is more devastated about that than you two. All we can do now is rebuild. This team wants you as part of their family. Not as prisoners.” 

Pietro touched her hand with his and she seemed to soften. If only a little. He then looked up at the both of you. “If we agree… what does that mean?” 

You and Tony exchanged glances, and he fielded the question. “Nobody’s gonna babysit you. You wanna be here, you put in the time. Really. Citizenship first. I’d expedite but- given you’re the center of a media storm right now- might be good to do it the old fashioned way. It’s gonna take a while, so you gotta get on it. Other than that… show up, when somebody needs you. Fight the good fight. Doesn’t get simpler than that.” 

The two of them looked at each other. You were sure a million words passed between them. When they were finished, Wanda turned back. She seemed a little more subdued. And finally, “We will stay.” 

Tony’s relief that the two of you wouldn’t have to fight them anymore soaked you through. “Great. Glad to hear it.” 

And that was that.                                                               ---

While it would have been nice to just go back to your suite and maybe go to bed or decompress, you found Natasha waiting at your door. Today was really just going to keep going. Maybe that was on you. If you’d only spaced all these little talks out, they wouldn’t have piled together like this. She stopped in the middle of a knock when she heard you approaching, and when she turned you noted the big bottle she had in her hand. “Was wondering where you two were.” Grinning just a little. “Hoping I hadn’t missed you already.” 

Ah. So. That’s what this was about. Tony opened the door first and you went after him, motioning for her to come in. “You know, huh?” 

Her laugh was short. “These guys aren’t the best at keeping secrets. Honestly, my feelings are just hurt because you didn’t tell me first. Out of everyone here, I’ve known you both the longest.” She seemed like she was in a fantastic mood, but some of that was a little bit fake. 

She wanted something to do. Something to focus on. Bruce was gone. They’d been getting close. It wasn’t easy for anyone, but you expected she was having a tough time with it, too. You pulled a couple wine glasses out of the cabinet in the kitchen. “Well the only one I told was Steve. So unless Tony has been blabbing all over campus…” Turning back to look at the two of them, Tony looked guilty and Nat looked amused. “Ah. I see.” Turning away again. 

Tony started fumbling. “Some things just slip out.” 

Natasha wedged the cork out of the bottle as you came over and set glasses down. “Sure. Exciting times, it’s understandable.” You poured a fair amount into three glasses- she’d picked a rather expensive red wine. Always classy, that Natasha. “You gonna miss it?” 

You sat down opposite the two of them at the kitchen island. “Like I told Steve- we’ll still be here, you know? You know that more than anyone. Someone’s gotta do paperwork for the Avengers.” 

Tony sipped heavily at his glass and then shook his head. “Mn. Not me. You people don’t pay me enough.” 

Nat laughed a little. “You pay us.” 

“Don’t I know it.” He sipped even more. Exaggerated, putting on a show for the humor of it all. 

You shook your head. “You don’t know it, actually.” Caught, he hid a smile behind another sip. 

Once the mirth died down, Natasha looked at Tony first and then you. “So. What’s the plan? House in the hills? Big extravagant wedding? Kids? White picket fence?” 

Tony made a face. “I think you’re thinking of someone else.” 

Instead of letting them pick on Steve, you spoke up quickly. “We don’t know yet. We just… know that it’s time.” 

Nat smiled again. “Yeah. That’s more than fair, I think.” She was incredibly sad, but hiding it well. 

It was kind of getting to you, though. You didn’t want her to be sad. Not over the two of you- and not over Bruce, either. But you could only alleviate one of those things. “Really. You’ll probably see us all the time.” 

Tony seemed offended by the notion. “Well- not all the time-” Almost like he was realizing you two had a different perception of what starting a life looked like. But one look at him and he seemed to smarten up. Because he cast a sideways glance at Nat next. And- then- yes it clicked. “But. You know. Often enough.” 

Nat also seemed to get it and grinned. “You guys don’t feel bad for me, do you?” 

You put your chin in your palm. “No. Not at all.” Then you took a slow slip of your wine. “What’s your retirement plan look like?” 

At this she really did laugh. Something genuine. “Retirement? I don’t think so.” 

Tony leaned in on her side. “Why not? If we can do it, anyone can, I think.” 

Nat lifted a brow to him. “The question is can you do it?” Perhaps a little disbelieving. Which was valid. You and Tony were workaholics, after all… 

“Won’t know until we try.” You lifted your glass. “How about a toast. To trying.” 

Not a toast for goodbyes, which was why you guessed she’d brought the wine in the first place. She softened, looking at you. Then she lifted her glass. “To trying.” 

The soft clink of all three of your glasses made a nest in your memories. It kind of felt like the end cap you’d been looking for this entire time. A small moment, but by no means insignificant. 

And then, after a long sip, you broke the quietness. Feeling better now enough to joke. “Do you know when I tried to tell Steve, he asked if I was pregnant?” 

Tony looked shocked, Nat did too- but in an extremely tickled way that led to her stifled laughter. “No he did not. Tell me he didn’t.” 

“He did.” 

A little gossiping never hurt anyone. 

                                                              ---

It was the day before Tony’s birthday. May 28th. You knew because you had been counting it all down. Almost down to the minute in the last week. The two of you had gone back to the city, finding it easier to do pressers and meetings closer to that homebase, rather than keep going to and from the Facility. The early morning meeting that day had been that the ribbon cutting of the Facility was finalized. The Avengers had a new home. New teammates that they were excited to introduce to the public they so lovingly served over the next few months. And when asked where the Facility was… well. That was private. The Avengers deserved privacy, too, after all. 

May 28th was also the day you and Tony were officially stepping away. Everyone knew at that point. It was no longer a secret. It was out there. It was real. And you couldn’t wait to start. 

The drive back up from the city to the Facility was a couple of hours. Tony drove a little faster than he should have, more excited than you, in fact, to close everything out. He’d only been asking for this very thing for the last few years. You couldn’t hold it against him. His hand had found yours as soon as the two of you had gotten in the car- maybe a little bit before that, showing off for the media. 

And still the two of you were clutching to each other as you stepped out onto the Facility grounds that afternoon. After approaching the main compound you cast a look up his way. “You’re sure you’re ready to do this?” Grinning just a little. 

His own wide smile was very telling. “Me? Yeah. More than. What about you? It’s gettin’ a little late to turn back.” 

“Guess I’ll just have to go with it then, won’t I?” You were teasing, but saying this seemed to make him just a little unsure. Something you quickly eased away as you put a hand to his chest, leaning up on tiptoe to press a light kiss to his lips. He melted. Immediately. And you sensed he was seconds away from telling you to get back in the car and just send a note saying goodbye. When you tried to break, he followed you, so much so that you had to actually put a finger to his lips. “We still have to make some rounds.” 

“Mn.” Mumbling against your skin. “How many?” Whatever number you gave him it was going to be too high. 

A presence standing a few feet back from you caught your attention, and you half turned to see JARVIS standing there. Waiting. As if you two had a scheduled appointment. Tony’s gaze followed and then when he looked back at you, a small touch of understanding passed between the both of you. To ease him, you gave him just one more small kiss. And then, “I’ll meet you when I’m finished. I know Thor’s leaving, too. We’ll all say goodbye at the same time.” 

He just nodded. “Don’t be late.” His hands went into his pockets, and even as you turned and walked away, you felt him watching after you. 

JARVIS tilted his head upon your approach, his eyes glancing briefly at Tony. But when you got near enough he put his full attention on you. “It seems the time has come. You and Tony are leaving.” 

The past few weeks it had turned from an open secret to people actually knowing. Yet somehow still it was strange. To just have it out there. “Is that okay with you?” 

“With me?” It was a rare treat, to see JARVIS surprised about anything- whether in this body or as a disembodied voice watching over your lives. “What have I to do with it?” 

“Everything.” You smiled up at him. “You’ve looked after Tony and I for so long. And I know everything is still fresh and new. It’s going to be… strange. Not having you around. Having you here.” 

His expression grew contemplative and eventually he nodded. “Yes, I agree. But. I feel there is something enjoyable to new beginnings.” Rolling off him there was just the faintest sense of blue. He didn’t want you to go. But he wouldn’t say as much. He even threw his chances at doing so away when he gave you a little smile. “You two have talked about this for quite some time. Far longer than this. You deserve it.” 

Your shoulders came up in a pronounced shrug. “I don’t know about deserve-”

“I do.” His hand came out, fingers gentle as he touched over your arm. You stood very still. Just watching him. “For everything you and Tony have been through. Everything you have seen. Everything you have endured… and everything yet to come… enjoy this. Please. You’ve more than earned it.” His words were busy seeping deep into you- and it took you a little too long to answer. So he grasped you just a little tighter, “I will be alright.” 

That was the root of the issue. He knew it. He knew that’s what you were really worried about. You didn’t want to abandon him. This was all so new for him. And now you and Tony were leaving, too. “Promise?” It was almost sort of selfish, asking this of him. 

His smile then was one of admiration. And no less of love. “I promise.” 

You made the first move, reaching up to wrap your arms around him. Squeezing him tight. It was strangely rewarding. When he hugged you back just as hard. 

                                                              ---

It took you a little while searching the compounds, but you found your three favorite confidants roaming the eastern outer wing, shoulder-to-shoulder-to-shoulder with each other. Though they would have met you coming up the other way, you were alight with sudden nervous energy. It was starting to feel like now or never. As Thor, Tony, and Steve approached, you smiled at them. “You boys having a rousing discussion about something important?” 

Tony reached his hand out, putting it on your shoulder. “Terribly. I need your opinion. Vision. He’s not- he’s not human, right?” 

This blindsided you. “Uh- I guess- technically- no? Why?” 

Steve snapped with a point afterwards at Thor. “Ahah. See? It doesn’t count.” You were worried what you’d agreed to. They were all in a fantastic mood it seemed. 

Tony shook his head, putting his arm around you. “No. It’s not a person lifting the hammer.” 

“Right. It’s different rules for us.” 

Oh. ...were they serious? You nudged Tony just a little. “What’s the matter? Egos bruised a little?” You cast a look up Thor’s way although he was extremely amused. Clearly not upset by the talk at hand. “You gonna let them go on like this?” 

“It’s alright, Lady. As I’ve already said. If he can wield the hammer, he can keep the Mind Stone.” -ah, that was a little bit of a different discussion than the men worrying about who was more worthy. “It’s safe with the Vision. And these days safe is in short supply.” 

The four of you took up walking down the rest of the hall. You couldn’t help yourself. “Don’t say that. Please. Or else we’ll be here a few more weeks.” 

Tony raised his free hand in a sweeping wave. “Absolutely not. We’re safe. He said it. No takesy-backseys.” 

Steve spoke from your other side. “Let me just say this- if you put the hammer in an elevator…” 

A sharp and quick chuckle came from Tony. “Elevator would still go up. We can test that theory.” 

You shook your head, feigning exasperation. “You two really aren’t gonna let this go, huh?” 

Looking over at you Steve raised both his brows, “Now- see- the elevator isn’t worthy. That’s my point. But it’ll still go up.” 

There was another stinging edge you wanted to put in- men and their egos- but Thor’s laughter stopped you. He reached out, laying one of those heavy hands on Tony’s shoulder, giving him a small shake. “You know, I’m going to miss these talks of ours.” 

Tony grinned at him. “Not if you don’t leave.” 

Raising a finger, you had to ask, “Doesn’t Asgard have better communication tech? We need to have cellphones. Hell. Even pagers would be better than no contact.” 

After a slow blink, Thor asked, “What is a pager?” Steve seemed equally interested. 

Tony rolled his eyes. “Please. Let’s not step back. I can figure interstellar communication tech out. Give me a month.” A month of working. Of Thor staying here. And… the two of you not actually leaving to go on your own, too.

Something Thor understood very quickly. “Ah. Lady would not be too pleased with that, I fear. You will have to figure it out on your own time.” Your smile was gratitude enough, and the three of you followed him as he finally exited the hall to go onto the lawn. “The Mind Stone is the fourth of the Infinity Stones to show up in the last few years. That’s not a coincidence. Someone has been playing an intricate game and has made pawns of us. But once all the pieces are in position…” 

This was… this was not how you wanted a send off to go. He was speaking so darkly. Surmising about the future. And it didn’t sound great. Tony offered his usual sassy levity. “Triple Yahtzee?” 

The mood had turned. Steve put his hands on his belt. “You think you can find out what’s coming?” This was work. It was duty. 

Thor nodded. “I do.” But he eased the mood by breaking with a smile. Lifting his hand, he gave Tony a small pat to the chest. “Besides this one? There’s nothing that can’t be explained.” He stepped further back and the intent was clear. While he gave the group a nod, you raised your hand in a small wave. And while he lifted his hammer towards the sky- you got lucky. And he offered you a small wave in return. 

Right before he summoned that ridiculous rainbow lighting. And disappeared in the next flash. Leaving behind a burned patterned ring in your freshly laid and cut grass. 

Tony’s annoyance hit the mark first. “That man has no regard for lawn maintenance.” 

You just sighed. “I’ll send him a bill when he’s here next time.” 

“Yeah. And he’ll pay it with money we give him. Paying ourselves. What a scheme.” Reaching into his pocket he pulled his keys free with a little jangle, and then once he had his fob in hand, he called his car over. “I will miss him, though.”

“Me, too.” Echoing the sentiment easily. Thor often came and went whenever it suited him. But that didn't mean you liked him any less, or were any less attached. 

That fancy sports car made its way down the drive, and you and Tony went over to it. Steve followed at a lingering distance. The two of you looked at him, and Tony smiled. “Don’t tell me. You have the big we’ll miss you card that I’ve been asking for. I’m impressed. Where’ve you been hiding it?” 

Affectionately you rolled your eyes. “Oh please say you do. I don’t want to hear him whining about it.” 

Steve’s smile was soft. Something bittersweet. “I will miss the both of you. Even if I didn’t bring a card.”

The quipping mood seemed to die rather quick, and Tony nodded slowly. “Yeah. Well. ...it’s time for us to tap out. Barton’s kinda making us look bad. And…” He didn’t know how to say it exactly. Maybe it was his present audience. Tony had never had trouble explaining his desires about this to you. 

You twined your fingers with his, but kept your eyes on Steve. “We want a life.” Saying it just the way it was. As plainly as could be. You felt Tony looking at you, so you glanced up at him. “Together.” His smile then wrapped a warmth around you. 

Steve interrupted your gazing. “Hopefully a simple one.” 

Tony looked back at him. “You’ll get there one day.” 

You couldn’t help your grin. “Sharon’s welcome to come by any time, you know. Have you talked to her lately?” 

And this seemed to ruin his mood completely. He gave a heavy shrug and looked away. “She hasn’t answered my calls in weeks.” You wanted to offer maybe she’s just busy- you didn’t want this to be the thing that made him give up. But he kept talking. “I don’t know anymore. Family… stability…” He looked up at you and Tony again. “The guy who wanted all that went in the ice seventy-five years ago. I think someone else came out.” 

This broke your heart. Completely. To hear him say this. Yet despite the way he was talking, there was the burgeoning hopefulness welling up inside him. Maybe Tony had been right. Maybe this was the life Steve wanted. He seemed to be leaning that way, too. With a little nudge, Tony got you around the other side of the car, and he opened the door for you. Though before you moved to sit, the two of you looked at Steve one last time. Tony was the one to ask. “You alright?” 

Steve just smiled at the both of you. “Yeah. I’m home.” 

                                                              ---

The drive away was quiet. This wasn’t forever. You still worked for the Avengers. And like you’d told everyone else that you’d said it to, the both of you would still be around. Maybe not immediately, though. You thought perhaps a vacation was in order. A true celebration to kicking off this strange idea that the two of you could be on your own. Live a life. 

Your hand reached over to take his. Almost a little possessively. Tony Stark was yours. For now… for now the earth needed to back off. Stop laying claim to his genius. His efforts. His heroism. You wanted him. You needed him. 

You wanted to be with him. And finally… finally just live. 

His smile caught you sideways, and you felt like you might melt right onto the floor. He was clearly thinking the same thing as you, with a look like that. So warm and intense. So full of that deep love. You had to put a stop to it. Or you might have to pull over. “What do you wanna do for your birthday?” 

Tomorrow. Tomorrow was his birthday. He could do anything now. He was free. What did Tony Stark want to do? 

“Let’s find a house.” 

At this point you’d started smiling so hard it hurt. “A house, huh?” 

“Plot of land. House. Whatever. I want the present I’ve been asking for for years. As long as you’re ready to give it to me.” 

Shifting over you laid your lips on his cheek, felt the stretch there as his smile got the better of him. Your murmur was careful, but sweet. “I’m ready.” 

#Tony Stark #Tony Stark x Reader #INY Chapter One Hundred Seventy Three

[gotatext]

claws my way out of the dirt like the goblin i am ..... hello thots, its nora, once again bringing you a revamped version of a muse i played yonks ago n some of u may have even written against... here is her pinterest.....

this is margaret greta, she’s a whole can of trauma spaghetti plastered over with a toothy grin and a lot of dad jokes. the only reason she’s in gifford really is bcos shes been put there as part of a witness protection program cos lots of police r monitoring livingstone so its deemed relatively safe.... haha... anyway she changes major all the time. she started off doing fine art but since then she’s done modules in architecture, film, bio-chemistry and is now dabbling in medicine. 

CIS-FEMALE — ever hear people say GRETA O’DRISCOLL looks a lot like DIANA SILVERS? I think SHE is about 21, so it doesn’t really work. The MEDICINE major is a SOPHOMORE that is from DEADWOOD, SOUTH DAKOTA. They can be +CHARMING, but they can also be -EVASIVE. I think GEE might be SHEEP. They are living in YATES. ( nora. 23. gmt. she/her )

this bitch is the most restless creature u ever seen. before she came to livingstone, she’d lived in 8 different cities in 3 years. 

was adopted as an infant. had two foster moms and two older sisters so always surrounded by women. lived in a boarding house, very much like the one in 20th century women, with lodgers coming in and out all the time, mostly artsy young women because her gay moms were both high school teachers trying to set up their own arts collective. one of her moms left when she was 4, n she doesn’t really remember her.

while living with entirely women made her super into catlin moran and the guilty feminist, as a teenager she often let boys walk all over her bc she just craved male attention jst bcos she’d never really experienced it. saw it as something aspirational, like sitting in the back of chad’s second-hand truck while he drove you to macdonalds and offered you and his five friends with identical haircuts weed was the height of being cool to greta, she wanted to be their dream girl, even if it meant compromising her beliefs

bubbly bitch but also massive snake. metaphorically and literally, always shedding her skin. loyal to few, ruled by none, out for herself, babey!! every place she goes, she becomes a new character, someone who’s a figment of her imagination, as if each city is repertory theatre and she’s a character actress, so as a result som ppl think she’s called rita, some ppl know her as margot, she just flicks through identities like nobodies business.

goes through phases of being intensely feminist and tweeting “men are trash i don’t need them” before flipping into being lonely and needy n wanting male attention again. tends to gravitate towards men who are just pieces of shit tbh like her friends are always like hun.... pick a nice boy..... but no.... she’ll go for the boxer with several arrest records for gbh or the small-town drug dealer just trying to hook her onto pills for a little extra cash, or the reformed sinner who thinks he’s being protective by reading all her texts and always knowing where she is..... n she always finds a way to spin it so that they Just Care About Her and aren’t a p.o.s 

left school at 18 n didn’t go to uni, moved in w her boyfriend of the time instead, but soon got bored, n then went backpacking around the states making money in the casinos by being a shot girl (yeehaw) and trying to make it as a mysterious 1920s widow with a smoky voice, a dark secret n a heart of gold, looking for love in the big city. all she found was producers and acting agents who’d promise her stardom n actually just fuck her in a motel n then ignore her calls.

TW domestic violence, TW gun, her watershed moment came when she met luke in sioux falls while she was playing bass for a country n blues band. he was a few years older and had a car, and they kind of went from seeing each other to being that super intense couple who are just necking all the time. 

they got engaged like 3 months after they met n rented a flat together, much to her family’s annoyance but she was 19 so there wasn’t much they could do. their relationship was super super intense though, often really heightened and when they fought it could become quite violent, but she’d pass it off as just him being really passionate. 

one of their fights got really heated and greta threatened him with the gun he kept in the glove box of his vauxhall corsa, but the safety was off and she accidentally shot him. she pleaded self defence in the trial n cos of the amount of times she’d been hospitalised for various concussions n things like ‘fallling down the stairs’ the police were like yea... pretty watertight evidence that he was a bastard who [chicago voice] had it coming..... also this happened in 2017, he was mixed race and greta is white so naturally the police totally took her side. she’s now under witness protection, rehoused in livingstone as a sports-scholarship student, due to the amount of police involvement in the area, it would mean should one of luke’s family members try to track her down, she’d be relatively safe

 massive sports fanatic. plays tennis. on the cheer team. was a track superstar in her high school. honestly just that sporty bitch, you’ll see her doing lines at a party at half four and then on your way to your 9am lecture you see her running across the park like a fresh fucking daisy who is this bitch

pretty easy to get along with (provided you don’t anger, provoke or question her too much) because she WANTS your character to be enthralled by her and will do whatever it takes to win them over. she wants everyone to love her

is That Girl who always knows where the parties are, and is always there, on the sofa, talking about institutionalised racism and trying to coerce you into a game of beer pong that she’ll definitely win. doesn’t really have one solid group of friends, just kind of on good terms with everyone and social butterflies about

has changed her major so many times. decision? who is she. currently studying medicine, but doesn’t rlly enjoy it. she’s very unmotivated and lazy and probably wouldn’t ahve bothered going to uni if she hadn’t been placed in one by a witness protection program. will probably change on to history or gender studies soon n just make up the extra credits by volunteering

 massive feminist. low key quite scared of powerful men bcos of her ex. wants to start a female only lesbian commune bc she misses her childhood in a south dakota boarding house and has endless support for women. honestly annoyed that she is attracted to men, would so be 100% gay if it was a choice. cuffs her jeans and can’t drive. is That bisexual. skateboards. wears backwards caps.  i hate her

plays bass guitar, has a teal green fender and it is her BABY. it’s covered in stickers about saving the planet and ending fracking and going vegan. she’s in an all-female punk band w agnes (n mayb jade i think) n they play gigs every now n then in grotty club basements full of druggy sweaty college kids

PERSONALITY: easy-going, sociable, observant, blunt, amiable, nihilistic, self-serving, laid back, independent, unmotivated, charming, lazy, impulsive, alluring. ESTP and a leo

LIKES: art, music, john wayne movies, black mirror, philosophy,  cowboy chic culture, DC comics, arcade games, candyfloss, deep red lipstick, marijuana, dogs, karaoke, Kate Moss, late-night strolls, zip-lining, chemistry, suspenders, cigarettes, herbal tea, gallows humour, cold coffee, long showers, brown eyes, tchaikovsky, dr. seuss, boiler house DJ sets, magnolias, decorative lamps, worn-out furniture, twangy electric guitars.

DISLIKES: bananas, coffee, Woody Allen, mental mathematics, children, Trump, institutionalised misogyny, the imaginary future, french literature, Wes Anderson films, spoken word poetry, the general mentality of cheerleading squads (despite being on one)

aesthetics:

a bubble of pink gum on chapped lips, mom jeans, a beaten up pair of adidas, denim jackets, strawberry laces, knee-highs, chapped lips, peeling sticky plasters, split knuckles, bruises you try to cover with concealer, stick and poke tattoos, hot coffee, sleep caught in your eyes on a lazy afternoon, kissing girls, cigarette smoke shrouding you like a veil, alien conspiracy theories and sci-fi paperbacks, doc martens with fraying laces, the red string of a thong peaking out purposely from jeans, leonine arch of your back and that stellar smile that says ‘you have no idea who you’re dealing with’, a rucksack permanently packed for the move, a streak of red across your lips, roller blades, cut knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your mom wouldn’t take you, kate moss posters lining the walls of a teenage bedroom, his name scrawled in rage across the pages of a diary, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, a tennis racket you punched through in a fit of temper, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes. 

wanted plots: since greta literally can’t differentiate between romantic and platonic love, she’s got off with so many of her mates, so i want awkward friendships where they nearly dated, or exes that have now just turned into weird friendships, and girls from the cheer team who she’s like, weirdly intimate with like the shower together but its not a Thing cos the other girls straight, and I want like, fellow medicine students who are like?? how is this bitch still passing?? i swear she goes out every night?? she works part time at a fast food restaurant, i want a mate that just goes and sits in there talking to her until her manager gets angry. ppl she did a few modules with before changing course and somehow sort of remaining in touch with, like she did a few art modules, a bit of film, n some architecture before switching to medicine, though she’ll probs switch course again soon. ppl who she runs track with. someone she’s trying to make a zine with. here’s a list of plots on her old blog if u want any of them w her.

would love plots of any type, throw them all at me please, i cnt wait to interact w all of u. like this if u want me to message you about connections / plots! xo

full biography if u can be bothered

trigger warnings: drugs, domestic abuse, gun.

you never meant for it to happen. you’d heard the stories, of girls who let their man walk all over them, and thought to yourself “i’ll never be one of those girls…” the kind that eat low-fat yoghurt and drink slim fast to shred a few extra pounds because he said she was getting round in the tummy, or the ones who spent their evenings tied to a kitchen sink drinking wine while him and the boys played poker, wishing god, if only I could get out of here. not you, not you raised by strong women, four bright shining beacons. single mother with her hard-as-nails attitude and her stony glares, elder sisters (twins) one ginger, one blonde, one doctor, one lawyer, both determined to take a bullet to the brain and a hammer to the patriarchy before they let a man touch them without asking. you were always so inferior, so insecure and small, like a bird (like a sparrow) with blonde plaits down your back sucking tropicana whilst your busom buds sucked dick, their lips permanently ripe with stories of their sexual exploits, fake tan and glittered nails whilst you sat in the unbroken egg of virginity wondering what it was like to be loved. one day you found out.

lily milligan’s parents gone and a free house for the night, bottles of ouzo and tequila swiped from your mother’s liquor cabinet thinking she wouldn’t know (she always knew) your legs, hardened from pep squad, slut dropping on a kitchen table because the boys thought it would be fun to get the quiet girl drunk. you’d never had a sip before that night. band t-shirts, denim shorts and the split soles of rotten converse that you refuse to let go of, you still clutched with both hands to your youth, but in a tube top now (borrowed from alice carmichael who had a sister in college) and a short tennis skirt, your feet not in trainers but in thigh-high boots. uncomfy as hell but lily said you needed to look sexy. you didn’t know if you wanted to be sexy. you didn’t know what kind of girl you were, if you were even a girl at all. but robbie looked at you like he knew exactly who you were, like he knew you better than you knew yourself, and his lips had the pink cupid’s bow of a movie star, and his hair was dark locks, curling like a mane. his hands were soft, and suddenly on your waist, and after three more shots his lips were on yours and his name was the only sound in your head and on your lips as you lost it in lily’s college sister’s bedroom beneath the glare of a T-Pain poster. you bled for what seemed like hours, his hand still in yours, kissing on the sofa as truth tellers and dare devils continued to spin a bottle of unprecedented youth. you thought it was love. robbie was the one. he loved you, you knew it, how else could someone be so soft? but soon he grew bored, scrunched up your paper heart and set it alight. then came the tears, the hatred, the ‘fuck robbie, in fact, fuck all boys.’ and that you did.

you were known for being easy. any boy could be yours for a night, as long as he promised to love you for those few short breaths and pants before you cried yourself to sleep. you felt poisoned, but poisonous as well, as if by ensnaring these young boys you were gaining power over them, and not the other way around. soon it started to work. they’d want more, but you’d deny them it, sick of sucking off silly schoolboys, they’d call you a tease, a vixen. maybe you were, but you couldn’t help but want older men. you got the history teacher first time, him bending you over his desk to sneak a hand up your tennis skirt as the after-school clubs carried on next door, unawares. love didn’t exist, not for you. it was nothing but a game for pretty young girls to play, bubble gum in their canines and a hand tugging at the hem of their cheer skirt.

there was so much anger inside of your small body, ‘beware of boys and their hook-like words’. hockey helped. there was something formidable about the feeling of a stick like a weapon in your hands and the thwack it made against thighs in the heat of a scrum - “slipped, sorry!” - you’d utter with a snakeskin smile, millicent quinn knowing that you’d hit her on purpose because she shagged robbie at that party last week. she couldn’t prove it, cobbled acne on her forehead turning green with disgust. ben came into your life like a car crash. two years your senior, with a baseball jacket and shoulders like a god. he became your personal hero. on the pitch, he was lethal. together, you could bring anyone to their ruin. each day after last period he’d be waiting in his car. you’d leap into his arms like a girl-half starved, love me, love me, love me, your heated kisses the envy of every junior girl. he was yours for three blissful years, utterly yours, and you were his, his star-spangled girl, and he was your knight - you were both the same, playing games, always difficult to predict. it was a shock to all when he proposed, high-school sweethearts find love in south dakota.

the engagement was a bittersweet affair; three months – you barely out of your gingham print skirts and into a graduation gown, him, a surly quarterback towering above your sisters, cigarette at his lips and a scowl like a fart in a lift. they hated him. so did you. but you were eighteen and in love, and he fitted the cookie cutter mould. everyone wanted him, and you had him. you had him and you were happy, happy, happy, and he loved you. he said he’d give you the world, anything you wanted hand-picked and given to you. instead, he gave you a jack russell terrier and a flat you couldn’t swing a cat in, wallpaper peeling like the rotten bits inside of you, the bits that only he knew. and you got tireder and tireder of the sad excuse of a life he’d picked out for you, him out doing god knows what to pay the bills, and you dancing on tables to pave your way to stardom, and this was love, this was real, until the shine wore off and your fresh-faced, dimple-cheeked cheerleader facade faded and the ugliness started to reveal itself, the whining, the petulance, the sharp-tempered cruelty, the mind games, the need to always win, win, win. he was dull, he was boring, he was nothing like the boy the girls had said he was and no chiselled six pack could hide his lack of anything remotely interesting, your patience wearing thin until it snapped like rubber, a rucksack on your back, running shoes on your feet and the joint bank account emptied into your eighth grade birthday wallet.

you built your small fortunes working the casinos of sioux falls, a crimson dress and an attitude to match. bookish archie with his little dipper freckles was fun for a month, before he became just as dull and dreary as the rest. a three hour bus and you were in minneapolis, bright eyed and bushy tailed, fresh meat ready for the pickings. a hostel here, a friendly co-worker’s sofa there as you made what you could by taking off your clothes and shaking your ass like you were back in pep squad, doing what you did best. you met your fair share of creeps, and soon it was back on the road to escape a wide-eyed stalker and a restless itch for more. milwaukee, chicago, you made the roads your own. log cabins and lodgings, and the occasional motel, a beaten up pick up truck purchased at a scrap merchants – you got a few miles out of it before it bit the dust, and when you finally set it alight after nights spent lounging across the driver’s seat, a parka tucked over you as a duvet, you were sad to see it go. you’re nomadic by fault, never attaching to place, people or things, creating a new personality in every place you go like a character actress; each town is a different repertory theatre, and you’re the star. a compulsive liar, you even fib about your own name, to some you’re ellen, nineteen, bookish, a law student who likes smoking and cosmos. to someone else you’re rita, you’re twenty five and look young for your age, like smoking, comics and fucking in public places.

in the bright lights of michigan, you found charlie, sweet charlie, too good for you, though you let him spoil you while he thought you were the small town girl of his dreams. next came abigail, who was fun until the jealously kicked in, and then luke, gorgeous luke, dangerous, exciting, who despite his temper, despite the fights, despite bruises down your spine and your teeth marks on his arms, loved you with the strength of a wild fire. there was destruction in your wishbones, a savageness from the field, from the pitch and now somehow in his arms, you were godly. he was cruel, he was careless, and he refused to fall at your feet like so many other boys had, which only you made you want him all the more. you were rage incarnate. you hated him so fiercely you thought you might kill him, so he played the only card you wouldn’t predict; proposed.

the house you shared was a backstreet flat in detroit, you making your name as a downtown singer while he footed the bill with pills. they had a drug for anything these days, to dull the senses, to pick them up, to drive you to insanity or pull you out of the madness hole. the two of you lived like criminals on the run (you never told him that you were, living out your days as the enigma he wanted you to be), you with your voice like caramel and fishnet legs. you were his and his alone until his hand was at your throat and the gun was in your hands screaming at him to stop, stop, stop, until a bullet stoppered his brain, crimson staining linoleum as you cast yourself out like lucifer. self defence was decreed the moment they saw your violet neck, black tears and headlight eyes and mind screaming red, red, red like the pom-poms you shook so willingly in school and the insides of his skull. you were gone, and “you” was born, renamed “greta”, boxed, shipped-out, and next-day delivered to livingstone where under witness protection you were a student, blank slate, fresh-faced in a place where no one knew your name, doing what you always did and starting again.

#livingintro #this is such a long boi....... waht the fuck.... u dont need to read the bio the summary notes are long enough fuking hell

[fisherfurbearer]

Thoughts

Going to ramble. Hopefully this cut works. Mostly trying to be positive even though its confusing.

It’s been hard recently to stay positive. A lot of Life things are still going wrong and a bunch of problems up in the air. I don’t get to relax or do much of anything with whatever free time I happen to have. The animals are a source of both comfort and extreme anxiety. Everyone was getting there though, we were almost Stable and Peaceful until last night.

The new dubia were moved into a huge bioactive enclosure with loads of cork bark and decor, it was horrific but I lost maybe 5-8 roaches of 250+, and the rest of the tarantulas are all almost perfectly up to size and doing well. Kitty molted recently and is massive. Flaveri came out a week or two ago from molting and looks stunning. Everyone who needed it has been rehoused and all are adjusting well. Agnes still paces sometimes but I’m getting used to her behaviors and needs, I may upgrade her sooner than anticipated so she’ll have more usable space. Otherwise they are doing well. Red goblins have like no adults left, its all dumb nymphs, but there are tons of them and they’ll mature soon enough. Rothi are doing well. The vivs are just fine which is a relief.

The only Not Fine things are the (unfortunately neglected) isopods that I need to rehouse and repair and I guess some adjustments to the red goblin enclosure, but thats as simple as new cork. They got a nice cleaning with a fresh climbing barrier and leaf litter the other day, but they could do with a nice cork hollow or two. Might just buckle down and give them some egg crate for the time being too. Simple fixes that will go a long way towards making everyone comfortable.

I hope soon everyone will be comfortable and stable. We’re almost completely self sufficient besides produce for the insects and getting some more watermelon pangea sometime soon, and I have tons of extra tubs, substrate, and supplies stored for the inverts. I won’t have to spend much (if anything) on rehouses for a long time and everything is calming down. Mistakes are being fixed, long-term solutions are being implemented. We’re almost there.

Financially I’m alright enough, but I’m struggling with figuring out what to spend my money on and what I need to save. I don’t buy many luxuries for myself, it all goes back to the animals. Problem is I really need more clothes, I need to eat better, I want to save up a few hundred to help Jessie with some stuff and get him nice presents (he wants this Expensive keyboard so bad and I’m going to get it for him for his birthday, and make a custom keycap too. Our roommates [who are Much Richer than I am] said they’d even help me track one down and pitch in a bit. I’m also going to pay for the cooling for his computer upgrades. It’s not suuuper expensive but it’s also Not Free At All), I want to get more foliage and decor for the Ts (I can take advantage of sales though. It shouldn’t be too bad), and I’m saving up for rats this winter/spring ($500.00 budget which is looking actually real!!! That’s a post for another time though)...but now FNT also has a lot of what I want for affordable prices and I really want to ask them about their Homoeomma and see if there’s something I can do to afford one or two more. But that’s an unexpected expense and I’m scared that it’s the wrong decision to make.

I’m all jumbled and worried. I’m making so many advancements in life but it’s also terrifying. It’s hard to be happy. My health isn’t the best. But you know what, I’m trying my best to take care of myself (I’m taking multivitamins every day now, brushing my teeth twice a day, and I’ll make doctors appointments to get up to date on my vaccines, dental, and eyes since I’m so behind) and this rat research (I’ve researched rodents off and on for a few years and have a History with them, but never realized how perfect they are for me) is giving me new hope. They’re wonderful. So sweet, friendly, quiet, and their care and maintenance wouldn’t be too bad and their company is much needed. I need quiet affection. I love the geckos and Ts but their lack of handeability is hard sometimes. I thrive on affectionate animals and contact. Something I can hold, pet, something that benefits from interaction but is still patient and not too needy. I really need something like rats in my life, but I’m worried that getting more Ts would hurt that possibility. I’m all jumbled. I’m especially twisted with the number of Ts too. I can’t just get one Homoeomma but I really like nice numbers (10, 15, 20, etc.) and I’d have to get like 6 to make it work out. I am looking at another GBB, E. rufescens, and maybe an A. moderatum but I’m just not sure. I emailed FNT to ask if they’ll still have Homoeomma in for a while so I can think about it.

I’m not sure what will happen though. I just hope it all works out in the end and that I don’t make bad decisions. I don’t want to impulse buy animals and I don’t want to cause unnecessary stress and pain in the long run. I need to make sure I’ll have enough room for all the Ts when they’re adults, and I need to make sure I can support them all maintenance-wise. 20 seemed to be perfect and I’m slightly intimidated by more than that, which is a very bad sign. I hope it works out. I need to keep thinking.

I’m going to get back to rat research and try to keep my head on straight. I miss Hollis so much. But slipping back into a depressive streak isn’t good at all and I need to keep going. I’m worried that it’s not okay to do this, I feel like it’s best to sleep all day and stay quiet since I lost a pet and it’s not fair to dream about getting more when I just lost one, but I can’t afford to be any more depressed.

I hope this is the right thing to do. I’m going to keep going.

#rambling #personal #text post #long post #pls tumblr let this cut work

[talldarkandroguesome]

On a ragged bit of paper

I do not even know where to begin.

The Three know I’ve gotten myself into a fair share of hard places. That I have a sort of knack for finding trouble wherever I go.

But this... this is a bigger cock up than I usually come to find myself in, even at the worst of times.

I am sure none of this could possibly be real. I’ve been kidnapped and I’ve been imprisoned. This doesn’t feel quite the same as either of those situations. It is much, much worse than that. Worse than the both of them combined. The Corners have a hand in this. That much is beyond certain. It is merely a matter of discerning if I have lost my mind, or if I am truly in hell.

According to my cellmate, a Dunmer who had been here longer than I and goes by the name of Tel, we are dead.

And we are in Coldharbor.

I admit, it is hard to believe. One minute I am being ushered into the residence where I was to meet my client. The next, I am naked face down on the ground with the memories of being killed in my mind.

Yet, how do I know if I can trust such thoughts or memories? I remember dying, yet I breathe and feel pain and hunger. Surely the dead are said not to feel that. Unless they are undead.

I certainly don’t feel the need to consume mortal blood or flesh. Nor do I feel particularly manic or insane. Yet, were I thus afflicted, could I even tell?

That fetching woman, if I ever find her again, I will gladly make her suffer before sending her soul to my Prince. Her misdeeds deserve only the most cruel and excruciating punishment. Punishment I am only too glad to have a very personal hand in dealing out.

If the memories bear any truth, then I had only realized too late, as I approached the turned chair of the Redguard in front of me, that he was gagged. I managed to throw a blade into the throat of one of the room’s attackers, and get a dagger into the mer who grabbed me from behind’s chest. I’ve no idea how they fared, for as soon as the mer had me in his arms, another cast some sort of spell upon me. Had there only been two or three I might have stood a chance. Yet with five... what a fool I was! I should have been more weary. More cautious.

I have a vague memory of being carried, of the groundless feel of transportation, of cold metal on wrist, and ankle, and throat. Then the memories become more vivid. The long line of silent people, each one moving forward, one step at a time, towards a great stone altar. And I knew as I saw it it was daedric in origin. I thought, perhaps this is some test.

It was a foolish hope. My body was not under my own control. I could neither speak, nor make any movement other than the slow forward crawl.

And as I approached the stone, I could see the cultists standing around it. The Altmer in the center standing like a shrew monument of terror. I watched with mounting horror as one after another, those before me would step forward and lay down upon the stone. Then, with daedric incantation, the raising of a blade, the terrible look of black joy, a solemn glee, as it was driven hard and fast into the chest of his victim. The sound of bone cracking, of an exhaled sigh, and a crackle of flashing magicka. Then the body would be dragged away and the process repeated. Each life taken, the certainty that escape was impossible grew. Those eyes... the smirk...

And then the Bosmer before me stood, was unshackled, and laid upon the stone. I was able to see up-close just how I was to go next. I thrashed about with all my might, willing the Three to come to my aid, to lend me strength enough to escape. Yet, I stood stone still.

Until I  felt myself moving forwards. I chanting in my mind in Dunmeris, Chimeris, Daedric, Cyrodillic, Bosmeri, broken bits of Jel and Nordic. Begging any and all Gods to help and save me.

The stone was rough upon my back, but not cold. No, it was blood warmed. Only the searing pain of the blade felt cold. Colder than the malice that lay deep in that Altmer’s eyes. I--I can think no longer on this. It is still too soon.

This all has to be a dream. Or perhaps I have been drugged? It cannot be real. It must be a mistake. This isn’t possible! My soul was already promised to my Prince. There’s no way that Tel’s theory of our soul’s being stolen by the Worm Cult is real. I must still have my soul. There is a missing sort of feeling, but it is familiar somehow, though I cannot place from when or where. And I certainly have never been parted from my soul. Well, except when my Prince used my body for His ritual. But I was not awake during the time mother had tethered my soul to my body and with the help of the tribe rehoused my soul within my body. As soon as I had woken back up, only the lingering blessing of Her gifts remained with me. Surely I could not recognize a feel from when I was not conscious?

Regardless, I refuse to believe Tel. It would be too painful to consider. After all I have done to save my life, to think that I was murdered here, now, after coming out the other side of danger. The irony is too much to be possible. The universe does not have such a sense of humor.

#ESO #TES #Dunmer #RP #Coldharbor #Elder Scrolls Online #The Elder Scrolls

[jobsearchtips02]

To Fight, Chicago Moved Homeless into Hotel. Now What?

CHICAGO—In early April, Wayne Smith was the second person to move into Hotel 166, a haven set up to protect the most vulnerable in city homeless shelters from the ravages of the coronavirus.

The 58-year-old might be one of the last to move out when the hotel wraps up its mission on Labor Day. The goal now is to get permanent housing for its nearly 100 remaining residents. Despite having a housing voucher worth $1,100 a month for an apartment in suburban Cook County, Mr. Smith has been unable to find one because his credit score is too low.

Cities like Chicago that moved homeless people out of crowded shelters due to the coronavirus are now struggling with how to get those people into permanent housing. They are coming up against the same challenges homeless people have long-faced: criminal histories, mental illness and the wherewithal to stick through lengthy application processes that can require extensive documentation.

Now, case workers at the hotel, set up by the city with federal funds earmarked for coronavirus aid, are trying to get Mr. Smith into another program, but say they might be running out of time.

“I’m no closer to finding a place than I was four months ago,” said Mr. Smith, who has been in the hotel since April 2 and recently went back to work assembling meals at a meal-kit company. “All I can do is pray.”

In the spring as the virus spread, cities rushed to revamp large shelters that were emerging as hotbeds of infection. Homeless people often were sleeping in cavernous rooms filled with bunks stacked three high and using communal bathrooms. Many shelters have since thinned out their populations and created ways to allow social distancing.

As shelters see an increase in Covid-19 infections, Dr. Thomas Huggett, who usually treats patients at a hospital on Chicago’s West Side, is working and sleeping at a hotel set up to test homeless people suspected of having the illness. Photo: Joe Barrett/The Wall Street Journal (Originally published April 23, 2020)

Some cities turned to hotels—which often had empty rooms as people traveled less—as a temporary solution, said Steve Berg, vice president for programs and policy at the National Alliance to End Homelessness. Now, they are looking for permanent answers. There are also concerns about a wave of new people being forced out of their apartments after losing jobs to coronavirus-related shutdowns.

Last week, California Gov. Gavin Newsom announced that $600 million—mostly federal coronavirus aid money—would be available in grants to localities interested in purchasing hotels and converting them into apartments. In Connecticut, where about 1,200 homeless people were in hotels, the state in June said it planned to find homes for 1,800 by fall, using $15 million in federal stimulus aid. The state has since found apartments for 422 families, a housing department spokesman said.

Some cities, including New York and San Francisco, are seeing a surge of homeless people on the street, as shelters have been thinned and some homeless people fear going back to them because of the coronavirus.

Overall, homelessness has been reduced over the past 15 years, Mr. Berg said, and the coronavirus has actually galvanized support for tackling the issue. Mr. Berg estimates that providing rental assistance to everyone who qualifies in the U.S. would cost about $40 billion to $50 billion, around 6% of what was spent on Medicare in 2019.

“This is not at all an unsolvable problem,” he said.

In Chicago, Mr. Smith is among 259 people who have stayed at the former boutique hotel, just steps from the fancy shops on Michigan Avenue.

Lynn René Wilson, a former nurse, is a resident of Hotel 166. She is waiting to move into a new apartment.

Photo: Joshua Lott for The Wall Street Journal

Thomas Huggett of Lawndale Christian Health Center, who runs the medical staff at the hotel and has stayed there every night except for three since early April, plucked most of them from city shelters. A combination of their age and underlying medical conditions made them susceptible to severe cases of Covid-19. At the hotel, guests received three meals a day, help with all their medical conditions and Covid-19 tests every three to four weeks.

Dr. Huggett says getting the residents into safe housing is critical to keeping them healthy with the virus still active in the city.

“The reason we set up the hotel in the first place was to save lives,” he said, as well as to preserve costly and scarce resources such as ventilators and ICU beds. “If we just shut down the hotel today, they would be back in the shelters and vulnerable once again.”

But finding housing has proved a challenge, even with a dedicated team working to secure birth certificates, social-security cards, proof of benefits and other documentation. The team also works with dozens of potential landlords, who each have their own application and screening process, some requiring submissions by fax, some by email, others by hand.

“Seeing how difficult it’s been even for our staff to negotiate this whole system gave us an appreciation for how hard it is for the homeless person on their own to do all this,” said Kelly Ross, a housing coordinator for Lawndale, who works at the hotel.

At its peak, the hotel had 172 guests. Some were discharged to hospitals, psychiatric wards or treatment programs. One woman this week boarded a bus for Georgia to stay with family.

Most of the 95 remaining have enrolled in a rapid rehousing program arranged and overseen by a nonprofit called All Chicago that coordinates Chicago’s collective response to homelessness. The group is using $15 million in coronavirus relief funding to find homes for 1,250 households, said Beth Horwitz, vice president of strategy and innovation at All Chicago.

“The unfortunate reality is that by and large we are working at far too small a scale,” she said.

Lynn René Wilson was living in a shelter with 50 other women in the same room in May—including two who had Covid-19 in nearby beds—when she had a chance to move into the hotel.

She was more than eager to go when Dr. Huggett came to pick her and others up at the shelter. “He said, ‘I want you ready by 1 o’clock.’ I was ready by 12,” said Ms. Wilson with a chuckle. She is 62 years old and uses a walker to get around because of her cerebral palsy.

Ms. Wilson, a former nurse and jokester, has been matched to move into a new apartment, but there are still hurdles. On Wednesday, a Lawndale staffer took her and several others to pick up her birth certificate.

She still has to wait about two more weeks for final paperwork to go through before she can move into her new apartment, as long as someone doesn’t snatch it up in the meantime, said Ms. Ross, the housing coordinator.

Harold Baughns, 59, has had better luck.

Earlier this week, Mr. Baughns, who has struggled with addiction and worked for years at a dry cleaner, carried a box of dishes he had bought on the street and set it on the counter of his spotless new apartment, after signing the lease and getting his own keys.

“It’s beautiful, beautiful,” said Mr. Baughns, who is built like a boxer and loves to do push-ups. He is especially happy with his big new refrigerator, which he plans to stock as soon as he moves in full time. “I love to cook,” he said.

Write to Joe Barrett at [email protected]

Copyright ©2020 Dow Jones & Company, Inc. All Rights Reserved. 87990cbe856818d5eddac44c7b1cdeb8

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from Job Search Tips https://jobsearchtips.net/to-fight-chicago-moved-homeless-into-hotel-now-what/

[flauntpage]

Why Are People Comparing The Grenfell Tower Fire To The Hillsborough Disaster?

From almost the moment that images of the Grenfell Tower fire were first broadcast on televisions across the country, the scale of the institutional negligence involved started to become apparent. From accounts of the Grenfell residents warning of a "major disaster" if safety problems were not addressed to articles on restricted access ways, inadequate fire safety advice and flammable cladding bought on the cheap for the purpose of 'regeneration', the picture which began to come together was one of a local authority which cared more about making the area attractive for property developers than the wellbeing of its less wealthy constituents. Kensington and Chelsea council struggled to hide their ineptitude in the aftermath, with their relief efforts seeing some victims sleeping on the floor of a local leisure centre. Their chief executive resigned, protests erupted and the Conservative-dominated council was put under a spotlight, where its glaring failures are still being scrutinised today.

As well as the damning reports on the factors which contributed to the catastrophe at Grenfell, there were many who drew an unsettling comparison in the aftermath. With images of exhausted firefighters, angry bystanders and despairing residents still flooding in, the events unfolding were likened to the Hillsborough disaster on social media, in newspapers and by opposition politicians time and time again. Tottenham MP David Lammy tweeted: "Grenfell Tower: have we learnt nothing from Hillsborough? The rich and the powerful will do all they can to obfuscate, delay and cover up." Speaking in Parliament, Jeremy Corbyn said: "From Hillsborough to the child sex abuse scandal to Grenfell Tower, the pattern is consistent. Working-class people's voices are ignored, their concerns dismissed by those in power." Hillsborough campaigners themselves weighed in on Grenfell, with Margaret Aspinall, chair of the Hillsborough Families Support Group, telling The Liverpool Echo: "You've got to start demanding answers and have transparency and openness about everything, as the authorities will try and palm you off."

There was also a striking juxtaposition between two images made on Twitter, one of Theresa May standing well away from the public as she surveyed the remains of Grenfell, another of Margaret Thatcher, senior policemen and ministers standing on the terraces of the Leppings Lane end on the day after the crush which would eventually claim 96 lives. While Thatcher visited victims in hospital that day – a mixed blessing as far as many Liverpudlians were concerned – May was criticised for her slow response to the Grenfell fire, though it is the air of remoteness which has drawn parallels between the two pictures. Those in a forgiving mood might argue that this comparison is based on little more than the vague physical resemblance which saw The Telegraph, The Daily Mail and the like herald May as the new 'Iron Lady', despite all the evidence suggesting that she is a pale imitation of her predecessor. Then again, there are already those who are calling out an establishment cover-up at Grenfell, of the sort which has caused the Hillsborough families so much anger and anguish since 1989.

READ MORE: What Makes 'You'll Never Walk Alone' Such an Enduring Football Anthem?

There are obvious differences between Grenfell and Hillsborough, not least the nature of the disaster. While the negligence at Grenfell relates to the council, their contractors and inadequately enforced safety regulations, the responsibility for the Hillsborough disaster fell on the shoulders of South Yorkshire police, with their shoddy preparation and lethal decision to open an exit gate at the Leppings Lane end ultimately leading to massive loss of life. The death of 96 Liverpool fans in the aftermath – Tony Bland, the last fatality of the disaster, died in hospital four years later – was finally determined to be unlawful in April 2016, with the design of the stadium and various other factors exacerbating the situation. The behaviour of the fans was categorically not one of those factors, however, despite the efforts of the police to blame them in collusion with elements of the media, most notably The Sun.

In stark contrast, the emergency services have been widely praised for their reaction to the Grenfell fire. If anything, it is the closure of fire stations and public service cuts which have now come under scrutiny, as opposed to the efforts of the emergency services themselves. Where the two acts of institutional negligence become comparable, however, is in the sense that the establishment and elements of the fourth estate are closing ranks in response to fatal errors. While defamation of the sort embodied by 'The Truth' headline has been avoided this time around, there still seem to have been subtle efforts to shift the blame for Grenfell away from the authorities and onto the victims.

Speaking on Newsnight in the aftermath of the fire, Nick Paget-Brown, Conservative leader of Kensington and Chelsea council, attempted to deflect blame for the absence of sprinklers in Grenfell onto residents, this despite them warning of inadequate fire safety several years before. In a letter to The Guardian, a local resident described a rebate from Paget-Brown and the council as "blood money", on account of them failing to spend it where it was so desperately needed. Commentary in other newspapers was not quite so reflective. The Mail didn't take long to publish pictures of "the mini-cab driver whose faulty fridge is alleged to have started the Grenfell Tower inferno", making sure to stress his Ethiopian heritage. The Sun soon followed suit, though their story seems to have been updated with a slightly more palatable angle. The Mail article elicited thousands of IPSO complaints and a petition in protest at coverage "blaming victims", which has gathered over 31,000 signatures to date.

PA Images

It is no coincidence that, as with Hillsborough, the newspapers shifting responsibility on to victims are the usual suspects. While below-the-line comments complaining about the rehousing of Grenfell survivors in 'luxury' flats exposed a general dearth of empathy in the dark corners of the internet, The Mail and The Sun have an interest in blame being contained within Grenfell itself. It is not just the local Conservative council who have been castigated for their role in the disaster, but also a government beleaguered after a disastrous election, with criticisms ranging from those already mentioned – Theresa May's response, destructive public service cuts and so on – to a lack of care for working-class citizens which runs right to the heart of their policies. Ultimately, were these criticisms to stick they would serve as a crushing indictment of the government, which considering the editorial stance of The Sun and The Mail we can assume they are desperate to avoid.

This is surely why several of the Conservative-aligned newspapers seem adamant that onlookers should not "politicise" a tragedy, with even the incessant use of the term 'tragedy' making the disaster seem somehow arbitrary as opposed to negligent and criminal. For obvious reasons, they would prefer that the Grenfell fire not continue to damn the government by association, or even worse damn the dual philosophies of small government and austerity which elevate cutting red tape, minimising public expenditure, rolling back regulation and increasing private profit above the needs of ordinary people. In this sense, it is little wonder that some fear a cover-up, when tentative manoeuvres towards safeguarding those in power already seem to have been set in motion, and with some on the hard right even keen to shift the focus onto the immigration status of those who survived.

When it comes to a precedent for victim blaming, nothing is quite as evocative as the Hillsborough disaster. The Sun famously accused Liverpool supporters of urinating on policemen, drunkenly assaulting the emergency services and pickpocketing the dead, their report a combination of vicious slander and stereotyping a predominantly working-class fanbase with the tropes of eighties hooliganism. The Daily Mail initially went with the angle that fans "were drunk and violent and their actions were vile," but later changed tack and started to present the disaster as a 'tragedy', which should now feel rather familiar. Practically all the Conservative-aligned newspapers gave robust backing to the police, which was no doubt a factor in the initial inquests returning a verdict of accidental death for the victims, a decision which the families of those who died fought in the courts for over two and a half decades.

Once again, the interests of a Conservative government were at stake. As David Conn laid out in an article this March on the links between Hillsborough and the Battle of Orgreave, Margaret Thatcher and her government considered themselves indebted to South Yorkshire police for their role in violently suppressing the Miners' Strike of 1984-85. Thatcher personally hosted celebratory drinks for chief constables come the end of the dispute, including Peter Wright, who was still in charge of the force in South Yorkshire at the time of the Hillsborough disaster and was instrumental in the campaign to shield officers from blame. With the publication of the Taylor Report in 1990 and its findings about police failings, then home secretary Douglas Hurd intended to announce that the government welcomed "the broad thrust of the report." In response, Thatcher noted in a memo: "What do we mean by 'welcoming the broad thrust of the report'? The broad thrust is devastating criticism of the police. Is that for us to welcome? Surely we welcome the thoroughness of the report and its recommendations."

Several weeks after the Hillsborough disaster, Margaret Aspinall met Thatcher at Liverpool cathedral. Aspinall told The Liverpool Echo in 2016: "She said there were 750 police officers on duty on the day of the disaster. I asked her: 'Please, tell me what they were doing, then?' She said to me: 'Their job, my dear, their job.'" This attitude among those in power was no doubt one of the reasons that the Hillsborough families had to wait so long for justice. The establishment closed ranks, and as is now the case with the Grenfell fire there were elements of the media willing to aid them in that endeavour, even if a headline like 'The Truth' might not fly today.

At the time of publication, it has been several hours since it was announced that former police officers will face charges for their role in the Hillsborough disaster. It has taken decades for the truth to come out about the institutional negligence which caused 96 deaths to occur, as well as an enormous fightback against those who would rather have kept that truth hidden for sake of convenience. Now, with residents, commentators and politicians demanding accountability over the Grenfell fire, it has to be hoped that those in power can be pressured into full transparency, lest Grenfell become another example of justice being denied to citizens without the means and influence to manipulate findings. In the meantime, the shadow of Hillsborough looms large over Grenfell, a rebuke to those in power and a reminder that nobody should have to wait so long for justice again.

@W_F_Magee

Why Are People Comparing The Grenfell Tower Fire To The Hillsborough Disaster? published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

[wavenetinfo]

At least 58 people are missing and presumed dead from the massive fire that engulfed a residential high-rise building in London earlier this week, police said on Saturday.

This latest figure includes the 30 people already confirmed dead; 16 of those bodies are being held in a mortuary, including one person who died after being transported to a local hospital. The others have been recovered from the scorched structure, according to Metropolitan Police Service Commander Stuart Cundy.

“The figure of 58 are those who are missing and that we have to presume are dead,” Cundy said at a news conference in London Saturday afternoon. “It might be that some of those are safe and well, but for whatever reason have not reached [out] to let us know. Again, I would urge them if that is you, I don’t care the reason, please, please contact us.”

Cundy said the Metropolitan Police Service has formally identified one of the victims who died in the June 14 blaze as 23-year-old Mohammad Alhajali, a resident of the apartment building in the West London neighborhood of North Kensington. Alhajali and his brothers fled their home in Daraa, Syria, due to the ongoing civil war and moved to London in 2014.

“Mohammad was a very amazing and kind person. He gave love to everyone. He came to the U.K. because he had ambitions and aims for his life and for his family. Our whole family will miss Mohammad dearly and he will never be forgotten. To God we belong and to him we return,” Alhajali’s family said in a statement released by police.

Courtesy Metropolitan Police Service

Mohammad Alhajali, 23, has been identified as one of the victims who died in a fire at a residential high-rise building in London, June 14, 2017.

Although the flames have now been extinguished, Cundy said rescuers don’t expect to find any survivors inside the building at this point.

Investigators believe the fire started at around 1 a.m. local time Wednesday on the fourth floor of the 24-story Grenfell Tower. The London Fire Brigade dispatched more than 200 firefighters, at least 40 fire engines and about 20 ambulance crews in an effort to battle the inferno.

It took nearly two hours to gain control of the conflagration, according to fire officials.

“This is an unprecedented incident,” London Fire Commissioner Dany Cotton told reporters Wednesday night. “In my 29 years of being a firefighter, I have never, ever seen anything of this scale.”

The Metropolitan Police Service, which is leading the ongoing investigation, believes it has identified the origin of the fire, which so far does not appear to have been intentional. The exact cause of the fire is still unknown.

In addition to those killed, the blaze injured at least 74 people. As of Saturday afternoon, 19 remain hospitalized, with 10 in critical condition, according to police.

It’s unclear exactly how many residents were inside the building at the time. But the tower, built in 1974, contained 120 apartments, according to its management company, the Kensington and Chelsea Tenant Management Organization.

Cundy has said that the ongoing operation to recover and identify all victims is a complex process, and some may never be identified.

“The conditions inside Grenfell Tower mean that the search-and-recovery operation to find and recover the victims is extremely challenging. The upper floors of the block are particularly hazardous due to the damage caused by the fire. The sad reality is that this work will take some time, stretching into many, many weeks,” the police commander said at a news conference Friday afternoon.

“Sadly, the nature of injuries caused by such an intense fire will mean the identification process will take some time. But it would also be deeply distressing for families for us to release wrong information,” he added.

The fire has left the building almost completely charred, and there were concerns about the tower’s structural integrity, as it appeared to lean slightly to one side.

Search-and-recovery efforts were paused on Friday over safety concerns, but resumed Saturday afternoon, police said.

At the news conference Saturday afternoon, Cundy reiterated that the time it will take to find and recover victims will be “significant.”

“Both myself and colleagues from London Fire Brigade have already said it will take weeks. It may take longer than that. My commitment to families is that as soon as we can, we will locate and recover their loved ones,” he told reporters. “The reason we had to pause the search and recovery yesterday was for the safety of our staff. We do not want another fatality arising out of this tragedy.”

Following a meeting of the Grenfell Tower task-force on Saturday, London Mayor Sadiq Khan announced that a “London-wide local authority recovery operation” was established Friday in response to the devastating fire.

Khan said people were frustrated by the lack of information about the missing and the dead, as well as a lack of coordination between support services. Residents who survived the tower blaze lost everything and have no idea where they are going to live, or how they will get back on their feet.

“The government must ensure the recovery operation receives all resources and expertise they need,” Khan said in a statement posted to Facebook. “I have stressed to the task-force the need for local residents and the wider public to be provided with as much information as possible and for there to be maximum transparency.”

The move comes after Khan wrote an open letter to U.K. Prime Minister Theresa May, who chairs the task-force, saying people were frustrated by the lack of information about the victims, as well as a lack of coordination between support services.

“The scale of this tragedy is clearly proving too much for the local authority to cope with on their own,” the mayor said in his open letter to the prime minister.

After meeting with survivors of the fire on Friday, May announced a 5 million pound ($6.4 million) fund to help them in their plight. The fund includes a guarantee to rehouse Grenfell Tower residents as close as possible to where they previously lived.

The Conservative Party leader has been criticized for failing to meet with survivors of the fire on her first visit to the site earlier this week.

ABC News’ Rashid Haddou, Joshua Hoyos and Joseph Simonetti contributed to this report. The Associated Press also contributed to this report.

17 June 2017 | 7:59 pm

Source : ABC News

>>>Click Here To View Original Press Release>>>

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); June 18, 2017 at 02:29AM

[simon-newman]

A long overdue update

Ok. I’ve did it.

The last update was a ver,y very, very long time ago.

It was a good one with lots of photos and stuff, good news overall.

This one.

Now. Some stuff happened, sad stuff some of you might recall that I don’t want to discuss here.

I was also occupied with the Half Marathon Beginner training program which was becoming more draining with each passing week.

Now with all of this behind, no hardcore training to do and running season at it’s end I’ll probably do more updates now.

What updates, some poor soul who sees this post by accident might ask?

Animal updates!

So now. Lets begin.

1. Mantises.

Mantids? Whatever the plural is...

Well... I have good news and bad news.

Bad news is... I had two more deaths. Atum passed away a month after Athena and didn’t even reach his adult form.

Case again unknown. he was eating well, doing just fine just... Not molting for a long time. When he refused food and started hanging on the top of his enclosure I was happy - suspecting he finally decided to molt again...

Unfortunately the next day I found him nearly dead - still hanging upside down from the lid. Did he wait too long and couldn’t molt? Something else killed him? I have no idea.

Another death was #4 - the most lively of the Blue Gang.

Here the case is clear - the mantis fell during molt. I tried my best to help but by the time I found it two legs were already gone and one of the remaining ones was unnaturally bent and useless.

The mantis actually ate a small roach when I helped it to grab it but it didn’t help. It couldn’t walk and died soon after.

I fed it’s remains to one of my ant colonies - they are now big enough to handle such large food items.

Ok - this is all for bad news.

Good news! The remaining 4 mantises are alive and well.

#2 and #3 seem to be one molt away from adulthood and from the looks of it they seem to be Hierodula Sp. Blue as well.

You can see a hint of blue on the tiny proto-wings they have.

Also - they are BIG. This is an adult cockroach they can handle for lunch.

I’ll provide more pictures in the near future but know this - one of them is already living in a “penthouse” - the one beautiful terrarium I’ve set up for my animals (in the future it’ll belong to one of my tarantulas).

2.Ants

I think I’ve mentioned the rehouse I did.

The two Manica Rubida colonies were moved to proper arenas. Nest building is currently underway.

I’m preparing a ytong nests about 10x10x7cm that’ll connect nicely to this:

Cat legs for scale. In the middle is the old setup which now houses Formica Cinerea colony.

M.Rubida are both doing astonishingly well. There are new ants pretty much daily and I only expect the speed to increase.

There are deaths however - first, weaker generation is slowly going away.

From time to time I remove a dead ant or two from the enclosure.

Still - the numbers are increasing so it’s all good as the new ants are bigger and stronger.

They (or rather their larvae and the queen) eat A LOT.

I can feed them once a week and usually give them 3 small roaches per colony but they could easily eat more. They dealt with the mantis above in about 3 days - this includes the time they took to eat the roach first (they didn’t know how to handle a mantis at first).

Formica cinerea?

Honestly I don’t know. There’s the first generation and I don’t see any new eggs or larvae. i am kinda worried.

I might try and make a 3rd setup or something... IDK.

Also - they make a mess.

3. Tarantulas

Ok. The not-so-big guys!

They are all well.

Chromatopelma cyaneopubescens molted twice. She’s now L3 and good 3cm in legspan. She’s growing A LOT between molts.

Brachypelma Vagans molted three times - this makes her an L4 and she’s also big... Not as big as the Chromatopelma above.

This is the best picture I could do. Sorry - she is really shy.

Also. I was told they start changing coloration after 5th molt.

Well - either this count included nymph molts or I am getting a fast grower here.

Or it’s just not easily seen. It’s just a tiny brown spider and I got to see the red hair only on a few photos with a really good light setting from behind the spider.

So... Here it is. All of it... Right?

Well. You might be happy with this but my family certainly wasn’t.

Meet new additions:

T003: Phormictopus Sp. Green Gold Carapace

A tiny sling that’s the most expensive spider in my collection currently. Still - only like 1/3 of what the Phormictopus Sp. Purple costs.

It’ll be a beautiful green-legged giant of a spider with (duh!) gold carapace. For now it’s a tiny bluish-green sling.

And I say it’s going to be a giant - out of all my spiders it’ll grow the largest.

I’d have to get a Theraphosa or Lasiodora to get a bigger one. Easily 20cm of legspan here for an adult.

And the last addition:

Psalmopoeus Cambrigei

It’s both the smallest spider I owned (right now) and the only arboreal in my collection.

I wasn’t really planning on getting it but decided to get an arboreal to gain some experience with those.

Just so you know - arboreal tarantulas are faster and can jump.

it’s better to have some experience before you get an old world arboreal so...

TBH I was looking for some avicularia but the expo I attended had none.

Now - i don’t want you to think this is a case where I picked whatever when they didn’t have what i wanted.

No - I did look into Psalmopoeus genus and decided on this one “just in case” before attending the expo. It’s not an impressive spider when it comes to coloration but many people said good things about this species and IMO it does look nice with a hint of green on an otherwise light-brown body.

#Animal Post #Update #Atum #Praying Mantis #Mantis #Hierodula Sp. Blue #Hierodula #Manica Rubida #Ants #Formica Cinerea #Tarantula #Spider #Manica #Formica #Phormictopus #Chromatopelma #Brachypelma #Psalmopoeus #Psalmopoeus Cambrigei #Brachypelma Vagans #Phormictopus Sp. Green Gold Carapaca #Chromatopelma Cyaneopubescens

[simon-newman]

(Not) New pet

Hello everyone interested in reading stuff about my arthropod pets.

I want to announce that as of today I own.

A. Pet. Hole.

Long story short.

My B. Vagans molted into her L3 form and it was time to rehouse her.

I prepared a bigger box with a lot of substrate and a starter burrow on the side.

You know - in a way that’ll allow me to see the spider.

Overnight the spider has completely filled the starter burrow and made it’s own.

It’s just a hole in the middle of the cup. No spider to be seen.

Unfortunately. This stuff happens.

I might not see my own spider for months now.

Hopefully I will be somehow able to retrieve all the future molts.

I have both exoskeletons she(he?) grew out of and yesterday I actually took my time to position one for future framing.

That’s all for now as my camera died yesterday. I’ll make a bigger update soon.

#Pet hole #Tarantula #Animals #Brachypelma #Brachypelma Vagans

[fisherfurbearer]

I haven’t gotten many clear pictures of the most recent tarantulas, but they were all fed yesterday and I’ve been checking up on them often. Here’s what I’ve seen of their personalities so far:

Montag (Davus pentaloris) Montag, or “Beast”, has been a real joy so far. Day after I moved it in, it had turned the entire enclosure upside down and moved around most of the decor and substrate. It’s so pretty, so active, and so personable! It lives up to it’s species reputation and then some. I’ll try and get better pictures of this one, the ones I got so far do it no justice.

Boopus Boopdor (Ephebopus rufescens) Boopus is a wild little thing. It’s very small but definitely my feistiest spider yet. Instead of scooting into the enclosure like a good spider, it spun around and tried to attack the paintbrush multiple times during rehousing. It’s an angery child. Unlike my other spiders, right away it set about making some kind of opaque dirt curtain over one corner of the jar instead of burrowing, and has ignored all of the decor. There doesn’t seem to be any entrance or exit to the curtain right now, although it will react to the enclosure being lifted. I don’t know if this means it will molt soon or what’s going on, but I’m interested in seeing how this feisty little child grows up.

Cassini (Neoholothele incei) Cassini is my largest lady so far. She makes me wonder if Lucy is actually female after all! When I unraveled her paper tube, she had actually glued most of it together with webs overnight, in true N. incei fashion. She’s been quick to get to redecorating her new enclosure, and has made some interesting funnels and webs already. I haven’t seen much else of her personality yet but if she’s anything like Lucy, she’ll be a fast favorite.

Deckard/Isidore (Theraphosinae sp. piura) I’m still not certain of these twos’ names, but they’re the only ones that have stuck so far. I’m worried about jinxing their sexes by giving so many masculine names, but Isidore is too appropriate. Not much to say about them so far. They’re both very dainty and shy. They don’t seem to be especially fast, but they will quickly hide under decor if startled. There isn’t too much information out on these guys so time will tell exactly what they’re like.

Wilder (Thrixopelma ockerti) I’m a bit uncertain of Wilder’s personality so far. It’s polite enough, and somewhat skittish but not nearly as bad as Boopus. I hear these lads kick a lot of hairs but I don’t recall it flicking any. I expect that to change soon enough, and I’ll be especially careful with this little thing as it grows up. So far it’s made a little dirt curtain but hasn’t redecorated that much. It’s cute and nifty to observe, but I’ll need a little more time to figure out it’s full temperament. This is one of my favorite species ever and I was very lucky to get this one when I did, so no matter it’s personality I’m very happy to have this species.

These will be my last spiders for some time. I might go to a reptile show for my birthday in August, but I’m not sure if I’ll get anything yet. For now I’m comfortable with my current fifteen spiders and I’d like to focus on what I have. Most of them are still small and I want them all to put on more size before I acquire anything else, so I don’t overwhelm myself later and have more time to appreciate my little spider menagerie. c:

#bugblr #tarantula #spider #arachnid #davus pentaloris #ephebopus rufescens #neoholothele incei olive #theraphosinae sp piura #thrixopelma ockerti #montag #boopus boopdor #boopus #cassini #deckard #isidore #wilder #my pets #BOOPDOOOOOR!!! #BOOPDOOOOOOOR!!! #boopinating the terrarium! #boopinating the roaches! #boopinating all the insects!! #and their chitinous exoskeletons!!! #CHITINOUS EXOSKELETOOOONS!!!!!