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caffiine · 3 years

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A BRIEF PAUSE

From my regularly scheduled content. I’ve got some shit to say, y’all (forewarning for spicy language and spoilers)

I thought about making this post on my fandom subblog but this show and this relationship have been TOO important to me for the past 8 years to not give it its proper place in my life. strap in bc im not sure how long this mf is about to be.

When i started this DUMB show at age 19 tortured soul “empath” dark academia me thought sam winchester was going to be my favourite character. and don’t @ me, i love sam now in his own right (and we deserve some SAILEEN PEOPLE). but after literally less than 5 episodes i KNEW dean’s character and his arc were going to be amazing and beautiful and he immediately became my favourite brother. The nuances of his character i.e. his shell vs his true self were so evident to me even in the first couple seasons. in my humble opinion, he had the most growth of the two brothers.

They all deserve to be happy, but for whatever FUCKING reason dean has the HARDEST TIME OF ANYONE being happy in this show. I know it’s his character. I know it was written that way. But FFS. I kept wondering when they were going to wrap up his emotional arc and stop torturing the poor dude.

then in season 4 they introduced castiel and 1) I thought the new concept of angels as assholes was super cool and 2) I hardcore SIMPED over misha collins (still do). I watched benignly as cas and dean began to form this relationship that seemed pretty special. I started watching the show when it was in its eighth season and I binged the shit out of it for two weeks until I was caught up. By the time I was caught up I was CERTAIN there were some feelings between them and I LOVED it. I am bisexual and I was ECSTATIC for a potential queer relationship between two masculine-portrayed dudes. I went on tumblr to express my newfound theory, only to find out that this was a real THING. “Destiel” was already an idea that had absolutely and intensely BLOSSOMED in the fandom for several seasons already. So many others saw what I saw and saw the potential of emotionally tortured/constipated “daddy’s blunt instrument” dean and the unfeeling daddy’s boy cas “crack in his chassis” Winchester being allowed to be happy together. I felt validated and hopeful. For a while.

Then it was season after season of hopefulness for them to be finally happy with each other while still fighting the ills of their world with sam and the other new members of their family that were added along the way, only to constantly have that hope seemingly teased away at the end every single time. By season 11 and the introduction of amara (not bashing, eventually loved her character and her development too) I gave up. I lost hope. I stopped watching the show. I didn’t want to keep watching my two favourite characters continuously abused by the story they were thrown into.

I know not everyone likes destiel, not everyone thought it was real. That’s chill, idc. Stories are so often meant to be (and sometimes inadvertently) left up to interpretation by the person experiencing and consuming them. It’s what’s so amazing about books and shows and movies that are able to make us feel so intensely about them and their characters. And I felt SO strongly about dean and cas. It was honestly really upsetting to me, the way the show was going with their relationship.

A while later season 13 had been going on and I started seeing some things pop up on my dash. Hopeful things. I did a bit of research and accidentally saw THE SCENE from season 12 and I couldn’t help myself. I restarted it. I watched the whole thing from the beginning again AND introduced it to my boyfriend I think partially as a way to ensure I wasn’t imagining shit (it took him awhile and a lot of me internally screaming during many scenes but by season 9 he was like “uh are they in gay love”). Fast forward to me finally catching up as season 14 was starting. I was still hopeful, somehow. And it happened AGAIN. Season 14 and the beginnings of 15 made me so sad. I HATED what they did with their relationship. I HATED the way it ended. I HATED the way dean treated cas and everyone around him. It felt like the show was taking his whole character arc back to day 1. I didn’t understand. I kept watching for a couple episodes after the big argument and cas left but the luster was gone and eventually I just stopped.

I love this show. It has meant so much to me as a story. So many of the characters are/were very dear to me. I know it’s a running joke with this show about character deaths and homophobia but the strength of the bond I felt was between cas and dean gave me a lot of hope. But it wasn’t enough. I felt betrayed one too many times. And for those of you who kept watching, for whatever reason, I don’t hold it against you. It’s still a beautiful and interesting story without cas and dean’s relationship. But I just personally couldn’t do it anymore.

I hadn’t planned on watching the rest of season 15 when it came back after pandemic hiatus, at least not for awhile. So imagine my FUCKING surprise when I was doom scrolling through twitter during election week on Thursday and I see supernatural trending right along with election shit.

What.

I couldn’t stop myself, I looked and literally SCREAMED and made my boyfriend spill his wine all over our couch. I didn’t know exactly what happened as I hadn’t seen the episode but APPARENTLY all my emotions and feelings had been at least partially vindicated. So I BOUGHT season 15 so I could finish watching where I had left off. I watched 8 episodes in less than 24hrs (don’t judge me there’s a quarantine) and I LIKED them. And it might’ve been bc I knew what was about to happen in 15 x18 but I really felt like the show was getting STRONGER as it neared its finish.

I was so excited for 15x19. I read so many posts from fellow fans, destiel and antis alike. There really weren’t a lot of bad emotions running around. Everyone seemed hopeful and excited like me.

I probably don’t need to go over 15x19 emotions but im going to anyway. I was disappointed. I was confused. I was angry. we are in season 15. The last season ever for this show that has had a HUGE following of fans who have loved it, sometimes unconditionally, sometimes even though it wasn’t the best (and sometimes less than good). A season and show that had just announced YES. CAS LOVES DEAN. ITS REAL. And I shouldn’t have to go over the nuances of why we would expect more after this, with two episodes to go before the show is done forever.

But I will bc im mad af.

Like I said in the beginning. Dean’s character arc has been incredible. His emotional growth – as subtle as it might’ve seemed – has been amazing. And dean has always been an emotional, loving person. he just felt like he wasn’t because the world made him feel that way. And that’s sad, y’all. Dean deserves to realize he DESERVES happiness. And in 15x18, we were finally heading basically directly there. With destiel, yes, but even if you’re anti, what cas said to dean about who he is and why he loves him obviously struck a fucking chord with dean. It obviously changed the way he viewed himself (RE: “that’s not who I am, that’s not who we are”).

But for WHATEVER reason that’s ALL we got in 15x19. One fucking SENTENCE about dean realizing maybe he’s not just built to kill people. And then jack leaves without a single mention of Eileen or cas or Charlie or literally anyone they ever cared about and dean rode off into the sunset alone with his brother while we watched a fucking FIVE MINUTE MONTAGE that made me want to hurl my own body into the sun they were driving toward. And cas is STILL DEAD.

BUT THERE’S STILL ONE EPISODE LEFT AND FUCK ME IF I HAVENT BEEN PAINTING ON MY CLOWN MAKEUP ALL WEEK. SO WHAT DO I WANT????

ONE: DEAN DESERVES HAPPINESS. REAL HAPPINESS. What the FUCK supernatural??? Wasn’t this the whole point of his arc??? And don’t get me wrong I REALLY want that happiness to come from Cas and a real spoken relationship of some sort between them bc it also ties in with my second point but tbh just PLEASE let dean be happy. Dean is a loving person and does everything for love as we JUST FOUND OUT. Dean would NOT be happy with everyone he’s ever loved gone for the rest of his life. I just don’t believe that’s fucking true. h elp him pls.

TWO: CAS DESERVES HAPPINESS. I know we got this whole speech about “happiness isn’t in the having it’s simply in being” but like. Really. Castiel was supposed to be a throwaway character no one was supposed to care about. But we all cared SO MUCH that he lasted 11 SEASONS longer than intended and became a main character and an integral part of the story. Cas has arguably sacrificed more than anyone on this show. His last act was to sacrifice his life to save the man he loved. He knew where he was going. He knew he was finally going to be able to tell dean he loved him and then immediately be taken by the empty where we know now thanks to season 15 that everyone in there just gets to dream forever about their regrets and sadness. HOW IS THAT FAIR. HOW IS THAT A GOOD ENDING FOR CAS. HOW DO YOU EXPECT ANYONE – CHARACTERS AND FANS ALIKE –TO BE HAPPY ABOUT THAT. Its messed up, supernatural. Y’all KNOW it is and I hope to HIGH HEAVENS this is going to be corrected in 15x20.

THREE: give sam Eileen back.

Well that’s all I’ve got in me, folks. I’m absolutely and intensely dreading Thursday. Im scared and nervous and obviously still angry that this is absolutely going to be the opposite of what they promised – another “game of thrones” ending. Some of y’all are giving me hope with your posts about maybe they’re trying to keep the ending a surprise and maybe cas is coming back and how can they not and why else would they have done the second to last episode like that and I hope yall are right.

Either way, im glad I am not alone with my feelings. Thanks yall for the experience of this fandom and show. Let’s stick together on Thursday, no matter our differences.

PS stop calling jensen ackles a homophobe or ill hex you.

#supernatural #destiel #deancas #oh and #saileen #just to make sure theyre not forgotten #dean winchester #castiel #Misha Collins #jensen ackles #15x18 #15x20 #15x19 #i fucking guess #dean x castiel #casdean #castiel x dean #supernatural season 15

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calumisgod · 6 years

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Teach Me (Michael Clifford Smut)

Summary: Y/N is a confused virgin who has never done anything but kiss, and Michael is her hot experienced friend willing to show her the ropes.

A/N: SPOILER ALERT: There’s no sex. Sorry for the disappointment fam, but there is plenty of other dirty things to fill your needs. I was really planning to write sex, but the way the story went changed my plans. I am willing to make a part 2 if y’all want that but otherwise please enjoy! I find Michael gives me the least inspiration when writing smut but I’m actually liking how this turned out and I hope you do to.

Requested: Nope, just something I worked on for awhile and recently came back to.

Word Count: 5k

REQUESTS ARE OPEN PLEASE MESSAGE ME IM LONELY AND LOVE TO WRITE

You’re home alone, and incredibly, unfathomably bored. After seven episodes of Chopped, you decide to further ignore your homework and everyday responsibilities, and invite Michael over to hang out, because you’re pretty sure he’s also avoiding school work at all costs. You send him a quick text, and the reply comes almost instantly.

I’ll be over in ten.

You toss your phone aside, and sure enough, Michael arrives ten minutes later.

You open the door for him with a smile, and he quickly steps through the door and pulls you into a hug. You nuzzle into his neck and squeeze his waist tightly before pulling back.

“I thought we could watch a movie in my room,” you suggest, leading him up the stairs.

“I will do anything that furthers my procrastination.”

“Perfect.”

Once you get to your room, you pick a movie out and Michael makes himself comfortable in your bed, as you fiddle with the dvd player. You pop in the movie and turn out the room lights, before heading over to join Michael on the bed. You slip in beside him, and because he’s Michael, he tosses a lazy arm around you and pulls you right into his side. You recline into his touch and can’t help your arm drifting over his torso, bringing you closer. This would be weird for most platonic friends, but it was you and Michael! Cuddling is constant in your friendship. He rubs your back lightly and enjoys the movie in silence, content at enjoying your company. After the movie, you sit up slightly, and Michael leaves his arm. He yawns and stretches a bit, before settling back into his seat.

“What now?” he asks. You shrug.

“I can get some ice cream and we can find something on my computer.”

“Okay!” he agrees. “Is your password still-”

“Yes. It’s still password.”

“Oh my god, you’re definitely going to get hacked and become victim of identity theft or some shit.”

You stick out your tongue at him, and he chuckles, as you head downstairs.

Once in the kitchen, you scoop out generous heaps of ice cream into the blue and green bowls and also, quite adorably, assemble tiny cups of sprinkles and different sauces. After finishing the dairy masterpiece, you carefully walk upstairs with the tray. You turn around to push the door open, and after setting down the tray, you notice Michael acting a little off.

“Hey, what’s up?” you ask, pulling his eyes away from the laptop screen.

“I didn’t mean to pry or anything-” he begins, “But this was just open when I logged in.”

He turns the screen around and it reveals your browser open to your last google search:

How do you french kiss??

And just like that, your face turns a million shades of red.

“Oh my god,” you breathe, covering your face with your hands. “Please don’t make fun of me.”

“I’m not going to make fun of you.” he assures. “M’just surprised is all.”

“Surprised I’m dumb enough to leave embarrassing shit on my computer?”

“No… Surprised you’ve never kissed before.’

You frown out at that. ‘Hey, I’ll have you know I’ve kissed plenty of boys… just not past closed mouth.”

He raises his hands in submission and clicks the tab away.

“It’s okay,” he says, softly.

“No it’s not.” you respond with a grimace. “It’s embarrassing.”

He shrugs.

“Want to just forget about it?’ he asks, opening his arms up to you.

You nod and crawl into the bed with him, cuddling yourself into his arms. He chooses another movie to watch and finally you move past the awkward issue.

Or so you thought.

“It’s not hard y’know.” he says, stroking your hair.

“What?” you ask, lifting your head from his chest.

“French kissing.” he says, clearing his throat a bit, “You don’t really need an article to show you.”

I laugh dryly.

“Easy for you to say. You’ve done it a thousand times.”

He goes quiet again for a minute, and then offers, almost as if he can’t help himself,

“I could show you.”

You look up at him, with wide eyes, the only light between you being the faint glow of the laptop.

“Are you messing with me? Cause that’s not funny Michael.”

“No I’m not,” he swears, “I just thought I could help you.”

Without thinking, you reply, “Um okay.”

He raises his eyebrows at you. “Really?’

You nod slowly, as if reassuring yourself. “Yeah.”

He pauses the movie and sets your laptop aside. He sits up, and you follow suit, heart pounding as you look into his hazel eyes, completely unaware how the situation escalated this quickly.

“Um I’m going to put my hands here.. If that’s cool.” he mumbles, sliding his calloused hands along your waist.

“Uh yeah totally.” you stammer, wondering why you’re so nervous all of a sudden. You drape your arms loosely around his shoulders and suddenly you’re so close. His nose presses lightly against your own, and gently, his lips ease onto yours. You relax a little into it, as you’ve done this before, but you can immediately tell that Michael’s the best kisser you have ever kissed. You slide your hands up to cup his cheeks, and you feel yourself melting into his kiss, in a way you haven’t before. His tongue urges against your bottom lip, and you immediately pulled back.

“It’s okay,” he soothes, rubbing circles on my hips, “just open your mouth when you feel comfortable.”

You nod nervously. He can sense your hesitancy, so he tries to make you feel as relaxed as possible.

“Hey,” he says, squeezing your waist, “It’s just me.”

That gets you. You surge back in and connect your mouth to Michael’s. The second time his tongue presses against your lips, you cautiously open them, and Oh that feels really good. You follow his lead, and your tongues almost dance between each others. After a while you are definitely getting the hang of it. Michael makes it flirty and playful by, drawing patterns on your hips and hooking his teeth onto your bottom lip, pulling on it a little before pressing back into you, and you can’t recall ever being this attracted to him.

You tug on his shirt collar, desperate to feel closer to his kiss, and before you know it, he’s looming over you. He slumps just enough to press his body to yours, and it automatically deepens the kiss. Just as you think this kiss will never end, MIchael pulls back, and stares at you. He freezes for a second and then quickly shifts over to lay beside you.

“See,” he breathes. “Easy.”

“Yeah. thanks.”

After that night, things are.. weird. Obviously Michael acts like everything's the same as it was before, but you can’t deny that your feelings towards him have changed. He was so sweet about you being inexperienced, and he wanted to kiss you so that must mean something right? And you can’t put aside the fact that the way he kisses makes you want more. It’s like the movies. When your skin connects, even for a brief second, you feel butterflies.

It’s been three days, and after struggling internally for far too long, you confide in Ashton and ask for advice.

“Come on Y/N, what is it?” he asks, after you’ve dragged him to your locker.

“I need your advice.”

“Okay,” he says slowly.

You take a deep breath and just come out with it.

“I sort’ve made out with Michael.”

His eyes light up, and he offers you a high five.

“That’s awesome!’ he grins. “He’s got a huge penis.”

You wrinkle your nose, and return Ashton’s high five weakly.

“But I think he thinks of it as a hook up, but I think I might like him?’

“Then ask him out.” he says flatly. “It’s not that hard of a concept.”

“But what if he doesn’t want to go out?”

“Believe me. He wants to.”

With Ashton’s advice, you ask Michael to hang out later that day and he agrees. When the clock strikes four, you hear a knock at your door, and you immediately feel that fluttering in your stomach. You head over and pull it open, and before you can think, Michael surges forward and attaches your lips to his. He kicks the door shut behind him, and all you can really do is kiss him back, all thought of conversation and relationship flying out the window. Without breaking contact, he somehow makes it to your couch and easily, pulls you into straddling him, and you can’t deny how good he feels against you. It’s not long before your head starts to get dizzy with his kiss, so you pull back to look at him.

“Hey,” he says, sheepishly, “Sorry about that.”

“S’fine,” you mumble. For some reason, you can't bring yourself to talk to him about your feelings just yet, so you resign to pressing a kiss to his pale neck.

“Could you teach me a few more things?” you ask, in between butterfly kisses, feeling his hands tighten around your waist.

“Whatever you want.” he says, his breathing getting shallow as you continue to trail your lips down his skin.

You reconnect your lips and you feel every part of your body reacting to him. His touch is electric. You can’t tell if it’s because it’s Michael, or if it is a result of never being like this with someone before, but either way, you feel more sexually charged than you ever had in your life.

His hands ghost up your sides, and he pulls back slightly, lips still on yours.

“Can I?” he asks, thumbs on your chest.

“Please.”

His hands force you apart so he can grope at your chest. You squeak as he does so, producing the first outright noise you’ve ever made with him.

“That's what I like to hear.” he smirks, brushing a finger over your nipple, hardening against your bra. You experiment with biting down on his lip, which elicits a low drawl from within his throat, muffled by your mouth on his.

“What do you want to do today?” he asks. You know what you want, but you’re nervous to admit it. You’re not going to pretend he doesn’t intimidate you sexually.

You don’t respond for a second, which worries him.

“Babe?” You bite down on your lip at his use of a pet name, and fiddle with the ends of your hair.

“Are you done for today?”

You shake your head.

“Then what do you want?” he asks, lifting your chin.

“It’s embarrassing.” You say, a blush heating up over your face.

“S’not,” he assures, “you just want to feel good and I want to help.”

“Could you,” you whisper, leaning your forehead against his, “give me head?”

He inhales deeply, then presses a kiss to your lips.

“Fuck Y/N, I'd love to”

“Can we move to my room?” you ask him.

He doesn't reply, just simply curls his hands under your thighs and lifts you up. You tighten your arms around his neck, as he kisses down your jaw on the way your room. He sets you gently onto your bed, and climbs on in front of you. He leans over your body to kiss you and further your physicality by pulling your leg up over his hip. Your dress rides up your thigh and for the first time, you can feel Michael against you. Really feel him. Your untouched body writhes under his touch, desperate for contact.

“Michael,” You whine, breaking the kiss.

“Do you want me?” he asks, voice like gravel.

“Yeah,” you manage, trying to ignore the way you involuntarily shuddered at his words.

He gives you one last lingering kiss before sliding down your body and pushing your dress up completely over your hips. You hold your breath as he runs his hands up your thighs.

“For this, all you have to do is lay and relax.”

You nod, and let your eyes flutter closed as he begins pulling your underwear down. He slips it gently over your ankles and spreads your legs ever so slightly.

“Have you ever had an orgasm,” he asks, pressing a kiss to your inner thigh.

“Yeah,” you sputter, “masturbation, y’know.”

“But not by any other guys?”

“No. Just you.”

He moves up close and tentatively presses his lips against your core, earning a gasp from you. His tongue slips through his parted lips and slides along your wet slit, making you feel so hot, in a way you’ve never felt before. He slide his hands up your body till he finds your hands, and interlaces your fingers together. As he continues to sweep his tongue over you and nip at your sensitive spots, you began to moan, like you’ve never have before. You unintentionally grind yourself onto his mouth, and it becomes almost impossible to stop Michael’s name from falling from your lips.

“Feel so good Mike,” you sigh, gripping his hands tighter.

“Tastes even better,” he groans, pressing his face deeper into you. He latches his lips around your clit and his teeth drag ever so slightly around it, making your back arch off the bed and that’s when you feel pressure in the pit of your stomach.

“Close,” was all you can say, before pressing down onto Michael. He quickly speeds up his motions and you continue to build. It’s happening so quickly and with one last flick, you release, in pure ecstasy. He pulls you through it with gentle licks, and all you can think about is how much better it was when he does it than when you do it yourself.

He resurfaces once you calm down, his chin shiny and his smile bright. He pushes the skirt of your dress down and climbs into the bed beside you, slinging an arm low over your hips.

“Was that alright?” he asks, snuggling into your neck. You steady your breathing and let your arm fall to rub his back.

“So good,” you tell him, “So fucking good.”

He laughs a little.

“You taste really nice.”

You bite your lip. “Thanks.”

The two of you lay in silence, just Michael massaging the curve of your hip, and you relishing in the feeling of his weight pressed against you.

“Y’know, it's really hot when you swear.” he says, looking up at you. You almost feel like laughing, but Michael finding something about you hot, pushes the humor of the situation away.

“It's hot when you do anything,” you blurt out. You think he’s going to laugh at you, but instead, he leans up and gives you a warm open mouthed kiss.

You hang out for a little over an hour before Michael’s mom calls him home. He gives you a tight goodbye hug and leaves, leaving you more confused about your relationship than when the day started.

“You did what?” Ashton asks, clearly in shock by this new information.

“We went to third base, and I didn't tell him I like him.”

“How have you gone to third base without telling him you like him?”

You shrug and put your face in his hands.

“It didn’t seem like the right time.”

“Well clearly if you were balls deep-”

You slap him in the arm. “Don’t be gross. And I wasn’t balls deep.”

Throughout the rest of the week Ashton continues to tell you to actually go after Michael for a relationship, but without knowing where he stand, you don’t feel comfortable admitting your feelings to him. But the problem is, you can’t stop thinking about him or his feelings for you, if there are any. It’s just… why does he continuously offer to help you with all the physical stuff? It could be just because he wants sex, but Michael isn't like that.

It’s Thursday of the next week when he reaches out to you again.

Free after school? he texts. You smile at your phone and respond immediately.

For you… Never.

Aw come on, please?

I guess I can make time :)

I'm glad. I'll meet you in the parking lot.

After school that day, you’re excited and nervous for the night ahead. You make your way out to the parking lot to see Michael leaned up against his car, and you wish it didn’t, but it gives you butterflies. You run up to him and tackle him in a hug. He quickly engulfs you in his arms, laughing into your shoulder.

“Hey babe,” he grins, pulling back to see your face.

“Hi,” you smile.

He heads around to the driver’s seat and you follow suit getting into the passenger seat.

“Hey, could we get some food first? I'm starving.” He asks, shoving the key into the ignition.

“Sure, Mike.”

He drives to a little diner near school and you sit at a small booth in the back. After ordering, receiving, and finishing your quick meal, the waiter returns to grab your plates.

“Would you like me to split the check?” he asks, setting a fork onto his stack of plates. Before you can respond, Michael cuts you off.

“No thank you sir.”

Once the waiter leaves, you eye him suspiciously.

“Michael even though it's easier for the waiter, doing that makes it so much more difficult for us to pay.”

He waves your words away.

“I'm paying.”

You try to object, but he ignores you.

“I made you come out with me, so I'm paying. It's not a big deal.”

You tug your lip between your teeth and allow him to pay, trying not to overthink his kind gesture and turn it into something more.

After a short drive to Michael’s house, he parks the car, and the nerves fully hit you. This will be the first time being at Michael’s house without other people being there. After he unlocks the door he tosses an arm around you and thankfully that calms you a little bit. Seconds after entering you’re surprised to hear Michael’s mom’s voice greeting him from the kitchen.

She heads into the living room, wiping her hands on a dish towel. When she sees Michael with his arm around you, her face seems to light up.

“Oh hello Y/N!” she smiles, “So nice to see you.”

“Nice to see you too Mrs. Clifford.” you say, offering her a wide smile.

“Michael didn't tell me he was having anyone over.” she says, untying the apron around her waist. “No matter, I was just about to leave anyways.”

Michael offers a sheepish smile and Karen makes quick work of getting her things together. As you go to take off your shoes, Karen leans over to whisper something to Michael and he just grins stupidly and wiggles out of her grasp.

She waves goodbye to you and leaves happily.

“Sorry about her. She can be so motherly at inappropriate times.” he says, coming over to you and wrapping his arms around your waist.

“It's no problem, she's so sweet.” you assure him. “What I want to know is what she says to you when I was over there,” you say, wrapping your arms around his neck.

He scrunches up his nose and rests his head in the crook of your neck.

“She said I made a good choice because you are very pretty.”

I giggle.

“I'm glad Karen approves.” you say, pressing a kiss to his lips. “But I doubt she would approve of what I'm about to do to you.”

“And what is that?” he asks, a devilish grin playing on his lips.

“I wanna give you a blowjob,” you say just above a whisper. With your words, he grabs your hand and pulls you to his room. He shuts the door and quickly, and immediately has you pressed up against it.

“I'm blind in this area,” you warn, in between his kisses, “I'm going to need you to talk me through it.”

He moves the object of his kisses to your forehead and nose and cheeks, turning from passionate to sweet and loving in a second.

“Don't worry.”

You pull him to the comfy chair in his corner and kiss him, but it seems different than before. It’s a lot softer and sweeter than before.

“What do I do first?” you ask, sitting yourself down on Michael's lap.

“You have to uh, get me hard.” he says, running his hand through your hair.

You make a face. “I don't know if I can do that.”

He nips at your neck. “Oh I’m very confident you can. Just, do what feels right.”

You’re sure you look like a deer in headlights for a second, but you quickly regain your composure, and pull your shirt over your head.

“Is that a good start?” you ask, making sure your breasts were at level with his eyes. He chokes a little and looks back up at the little smirk on your face.

“A very good start.”

You slip your legs on either side of Michael and pull him by the collar into a kiss. You’ve gained so much more confidence in your body since the first time you kissed Michael, and right now you’re pulling it out. You don’t even flinch when he slides your bra straps down ever so gently. Using some context clues, and what you’ve seen in porn, you slowly begin rocking yourself against Michael.

“Fuck,” he mutters, as the friction between you increases. He pauses kissing your lips to attach his lips to the tops of your chest. You love the feeling of him, but you can’t help but want more.

“Could you?” you ask, motioning to your bra clip, slightly out of breath from the grinding taking place.

He makes quick work of your bra, and pulls his own shirt over his head to make it even. Your chest only presses against his for a second, before he’s connecting his mouth to your nipple.

“Wow,” you breathe. Not only does his mouth on you feel amazing, but you can literally feel him growing beneath you. The fact you have that effect on him is incredibly sexy to you.

“Your tits are amazing,” he says, kissing you again.

“I knew you'd love them,” you laugh, pressing your chest against his.

You rock particularly rough against him and he groans.

“I’m sure you can tell, but I'm hard,” he tells you, sliding his hands over your bare waist.

“Okay,” you say, climbing off his lap, and settling in front of him on the ground.

Your eyes zero in on his bulge, and you can feel the wetness growing between your thighs as you look at it. You sit up on your knees and reach for his zipper, before sliding his pants down and then it’s just thin fabric between you and Michael’s dick. You run your hand over it, and Michael ruts against your hand.

“Sorry,” he breathes, opening his eyes to look at you. You reach for his waistband and with a single tug, his cock springs free.

You whimper at seeing him for the first time, and you had no idea seeing him would turn you on so much. You take a deep breath and grasp him in your hand.

“What do you want from me, M?” you ask, the situation turning serious.

“Your mouth, baby.” he pleads.

“What do I do?”

He sits up closer to you, and pulls your hair back, as you start pumping him in your hand.

“Start sort of like kissing,” he says, “don't use your teeth, and just go with your gut.”

You sit for a second, as those weren’t the best directions in the world, and Michael quickly senses your fear, leaning down just enough to kiss your forehead. You know you want to make Michael feel good and that is enough for you to wrap your lips around his head and go for it.

You drag your lips up the side and take a little bit more of him into your mouth, and surprisingly, it’s not as bad as you expected it would be. You start to slowly bob push and pull him back into your mouth, and the groans and little whispers he starts up, fuels you forward. You have a gag reflex, so you can only go so far, but each time you hit your limit, he squeezes his eyes shut and pulls at your hair, which is completely worth the momentary loss of breath. Watching him is so hot to you, you can’t help but reach down to rub yourself lightly through your skirt. It’s an overwhelming amount of pleasure, and it makes you moan around Michael. You can tell he’s trying to keep from thrusting up into your mouth so it’s grateful for that. Getting him there seems to take forever, but when you feel him start to twitch in your mouth, relief washes over you.

“Babe, you can pull off now,” he chokes out. You look up at him and shake your head. You’ve made it this far, you’re not going to quit now.

“Gonna come for you,” he warns, voice ragged. At the sound of his voice, you whine around him, and that’s what sends him over the edge. He jerks up into your mouth, and all you focus on is swallowing quickly and watching his face as he comes undone beneath you.

When you’re sure he’s finished, you pull off, wincing a little at the odd aftertaste in your mouth.

You help him back into his underwear, and he grabs his balled up shirt and uses it to wipe off your mouth before pulling you back into his lap.

“How was that?” you ask, resting your arms over his that are draped around your waist.

He nuzzles into your shoulder and you can see him holding back a smile. You rested your hands on his cheeks and pull him up to look at you.

“That bad, huh?” you laugh, placing a kiss on his nose.

“Nah,” he smiles, a blush rising on his cheeks. “It was so so good.”

“Don't flatter me.”

“I'm not babe, I'm just stating facts.”

“I like it when you call me babe.” you say, before you can help yourself.

He doesn’t reply, but rather pulls you closer to him. And having him hold you is something you don’t see yourself getting sick of anytime soon.

For the next month, you and Michael hang out more, beyond sex stuff; and him buying you dinner and taking you out places becomes a more frequent occurrence.

And you continue to not talk about your feelings for a long time, but it all comes to a head when the two of you are stretched out on a blanket on the hood of his car, looking up at the stars.

There’s a lull in conversation when Michael turns onto his side to look at you. Noticing his change in physicality, you turn on your side as well to look at him. He puckers his lips at you, and you roll your eyes, but lean in to him and kiss him. You kiss casually, your tongues intertwining, and your hands on each other, but you pull back abruptly before you can stop yourself.

“Have you been thinking about sex?” you ask, bluntly.

He stiffens. “What do you mean?” “Well, I guess that’s the logical next step for you to teach me, and I was just wondering if you’ve been thinking about it or not?”

He studies me for a second, before pulling away from your gaze.

“I guess I’ve been thinking about it, but I don’t think I would be the best teacher for you.”

You furrow your brows. Why after all that you’ve done is he trying to pull out now?

“Why not?” you ask, pulling back from his touch. He can tell he’s upset you, so he quickly reaches for your hips and pulls you back.

“It’s cause I’m a virgin, Y/N.” he states, and you are utterly taken aback that.

“Seriously?”

He makes a face. “Why is that so weird?’

“You kind of put up a facade that you’re a sex genius, so I guess I just assumed.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not.” he says, his fingers absentmindedly tapping at your hips. “So I should probably leave sex to the experts.”

You bite down on your lip, and he before you can formulate a response he continues.

“I don’t know I’ve always hoped I would lose my virginity to someone who really cares about me. Like that’s stupid, but you know what I mean.”

“I care about you.” you say, before you can stop yourself.

“I know, Y/N, but I mean like... romantically.” he says, cringing a little at his own words.

“So do I.”

He narrows his eyes at you. “What?”

“I like you Michael.” you say, and then it all comes out. “I’ve liked you since we started all this stuff, and I was going to tell you, but doing this was basically like dating anyways, so I just let it slide.” And you can see his face shifting into a smile. “But the bottom line is I like you.”

“Good.” he mumbles, tugging you into a messy kiss. “Because I thought I was the only one catching feelings.”

“Well actually,” he continues. “I kind of caught feelings before we started doing all this, but definitely watching you blow me made the feelings deeper.”

“You’re so stupid.”

“No, you’re stupid.”

You open your mouth to send back another retort, but he catches your lips in a kiss, melting away all negative thoughts from your brain.

And while you kiss, Michael’s thoughts ring in your ears, about wanting to lose his virginity to someone who cares about him, and you smile against his lips, knowing that if that someone is you, you’ll make that wish come true.

#5sos smut #michael clifford smut #5 seconds of summer smut #part 2???#we stan cute virgin y/n #and sexy kind michael

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