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jemej3m · 5 years

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What now? (p3)

where they finally establish a routine.

Neil watched with forcefully detached disdain as Robin showed Kevin the ropes of Exy: His reluctance grew as he watched Kevin catch on straight away. Then he realised that:

a) Kevin was an incredibly quick learner, and

b) Kevin was thoroughly enjoying himself.

That meant he was most likely going to join the team. Neil stood behind the plexiglass and waited with his fingers strung together behind his head, waiting for the kids to scramble off court for a break.

He didn’t truly have anything against Kevin. It was just the idea of being forced to encounter Andrew Minyard multiple times a week and consequently being driven up the wall.

Some of the kids’ parents were hellish to deal with, yes. But none blatantly voiced their dislike of Neil, or looked at him like he’d be fun to run over.

It was between seasons: He usually did team reviews so that new kids could try out and get onto the waiting lists for the fall season next September: Then he’d form a team of those new-comers to practise together throughout the spring season, occasionally versing his league teams as practise. Right now, he was watching a bunch of kids scrimmage and cause an absolute ruckus of themselves: He always let them have a free-for-all at the end of tryouts, to work off the stress and anxiety that being tested always granted.

Parents were no longer watching avidly in the stands, instead, mingling with one another.

Neil bashed his fist against the plexiglass, waving them off the court. They filed off sullenly, packing up their things and saying goodbye to one another as they sipped on water bottles and snacked on fruits and granola bars.

Robin sidled up to him, smiling through her exhaustion. “So?”

“What.” He said, flatly.

“Can he join?” She pointed to Kevin. “He’s very good. He’s going to be better than me. Because he’s taller. I think.” She frowned.

He frowned. “He can join, if he’d like to.”

“My team?” She bounced excitedly.

He looked at her with veiled exasperation. No, he’d say for the millionth time. Teams were divided up into ages, but Robin was in 1sts, and Kevin would be placed into the newcomer’s team for the next fall season.

“Kevin! Kevin! Neil says you can join.” Robin waved the young boy over, who was aimlessly pushing hair out of his eyes as he untied his shoes. He looked up, sheepish, as he shuffled over. He’d be taller than Neil in the next few years. That wasn’t surprising: Most kids in Neil’s older teams were taller than him.

“I’d like to.” Kevin said. “But I don’t think Dad will let me.”

Neil frowned. “Why?”

“He doesn’t like you.” Kevin pouted. “Because apparently you’re an idiot.”

Neil glowered. “Is he picking you up tonight, Kevin?”

Kevin nodded.

That’s how Neil found himself marching over to Andrew Minyard’s sleek, black sport’s car, rapping harshly on the tinted glass with Kevin cowering a few feet away, and an angry little Robin at Neil’s elbow.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” The sarcastic drawl of Andrew’s voice made the hair at the back Neil’s neck stand. He felt his fingers curl against the smooth leather, hoping that his fingers scratched the stupid car and left some sort of mark on the arrogant bastard’s materialistic pride and joy.

“Whatever problem you have with me,” Neil snapped. “It’s entirely unjust to not let Kevin join the activity he wants to because of it. Grow up, pull your head out of your ass, and think about what’s the best for your child.”

Andrew gazed at him coldly and said nothing. Kevin scrambled into his father’s car, curled into the corner furthest from Neil, behind his dad.

Neil stood back, letting Andrew wind up the window. He watched as the car left.

“Will he let Kevin join the team?” Robin worried at her bottom lip with her teeth. Neil took her tiny hand in his own.

“I don’t know, Robin.” He said truthfully.

It had Andrew frothing with anger. How dare he tell Andrew what was best for his own damned kid. Like he was a better parent than Andrew, like he had more experience, like he wasn’t just as fucked up and terrified of making his own kid’s childhood hellish and continuing the cycle of abuse.

Andrew had never forbade Kevin from playing exy in the first place!

Asshole. Fuck him. Fuck him!

“Andrew, seriously. Just fuck him.” Nicky examined his nails, tutting at how he’d already chipped his manicure. “Your anger is clearly just pent-up sexual tension. When was the last time you had sex?”

“Gross.” Aaron complained through a mouthful of popcorn.

“Fuck you.” Andrew grumbled, sinking lower into his chair. It was Tuesday night, Family night, where Aaron left his white-picket-fence and perfect wife, and Nicky spent his night off. They usually did it at Nicky’s apartment, but he was in the middle of packing up to move into his boyfriend’s apartment.

Kevin was fast-asleep upstairs, having worn himself out playing that stupid sport. It might be good for him to join a team sport, Andrew considered. It would also mean he’d go to sleep easier, if he was tired. There was nothing stopping him from joining the team, except maybe Andrew had made his opinion of Neil Josten too obvious, and then Kevin had gone talking, and now he had Neil-Too-Hot-For-His-Own-Fucking-Good-Josten barking up his ass about parenting.

Fucking hell.

“He does sound like a massive asshole, though.” Nicky winked at him. “Though I’m not the one attracted to smart-mouths.”

“Fuck off, Nicky.”

“I’m trying to watch the game, here.” Aaron said, only mildly irritated. “Nicky, shut your damned mouth. Andrew, stop being such a hypocrite. Kevin, are you okay?”

Andrew shot up to look at his son, who had covertly snuck down the stairs from his room. He had a small fox plushie in his arms, his hair a wild mess. Andrew would need to cut it again soon.

“Sorry, Dad.” He curled his shoulders in. “I couldn’t sleep.”

Andrew stood immediately, ignoring Nicky as he stage whispered “God, I still can’t get over how cute that is.” He took Kevin into the kitchen and sat him on a barstool, getting cocoa out of the cupboard and milk from the fridge. Luckily, Kevin liked no sugar in his, so it wouldn’t keep him up any longer than necessary.

“Nightmare?”

Kevin shook his head.

Andrew leaned onto the counter opposite him. “Kevin, is this about Robin Josten’s father?”

“Why don’t you like him?” Kevin burst out. “I really want to play exy, and I know that there are other teams than Robin’s team, but I liked playing with Robin, and there are other kids from school on the team, but you don’t like him, so -”

“Kevin.” Andrew said, calmly. “You can join Robin’s team. I would never stop you from doing so. It’s the most localised team anyway, and they’re very good.”

“But why don’t you like Coach Josten?” Coach Josten, oh my god. Andrew had a sudden, inappropriate mental image of Neil Josten in small running shorts and a low-cut tank top. Jesus Christ.

��When you and Robin were fighting at school, her father and I weren’t very friendly to one another.” Andrew put his entwined hands under his chin. “I just wanted to protect you from someone who was being mean to you. But if you and Robin are friends, I’ll try and get along with her father for you.”

Kevin sipped on his hot cocoa. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Andrew stood up. “Okay. Good. Did Robin’s father say how to apply for the team?”

“His name is Neil.” Kevin supplied, unhelpfully.

“Right.” Andrew said, drily. “Fantastic.”

So much for avoiding the fucker.

The South Carolina Exy League, who had ordained Neil as the Exy junior’s coach, owned Columbia’s court and had provided him with a small office on the second floor of the facility. It was a really nice court, which was well-kept, the expenditures mostly from the adult’s league. Neil’s office was just as well-kept, though that was out of his own pocket. It meant the funds for the kids’ teams could be kept to the minimum, so he didn’t mind.

Usually people knocked at his door when it was closed, so when the door banged open, Neil was already expecting the worst.

Andrew threw the application papers onto Neil’s desk. The suit blazer was tight across broad shoulders, and everything about him screamed expensive, down to the shine of his shoes. He must have presented in court.

“Fuck my son around and I’ll kill you.” Andrew warned. “Don’t tell me how to fucking parent, either.”

Neil huffed. “Fabulous impression that you’re giving off here.”

He pointed at Neil. “Don’t test me.” The door slammed behind him.

Well. That was that.

lmao what a mess

#single parent au #dad!andrew #dad!neil #kid!kevin #kid!robin #andrew minyard #neil josten #andreil #aftg #jem writes

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notarelationship · 6 years

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Along For The Rides Ch 8

*I incorrectly numbered this post earlier!!

Blaine and Kurt get their summer romance on. Mostly fluff, awkward flirting, a side of misunderstanding and some hanky panky.

Rating: Still T, this chapter. M eventually Words: This chapter ~ 5200 Warnings this chapter: none

thanks to @honeysucklepink pink for the beta of course, but I did make some changes after she read through and as usual all mistakes are my own.

Feel free to assume I can’t keep a schedule at all.

Blaine is trying not to freak out.

The rides are shut down for the night, and Sam and Jeff and Nick have all disappeared with girls they met earlier, so Blaine is alone in the camper. He’d spent the entire time since texting with Kurt going over every single thing they did, and everything he’d said to Kurt in the last twenty four hours. He was so distracted while they were locking up the rides that he even forgot to take the key out of the Ferris Wheel control deck and when the site manager came around for final checks he got a bit of a dressing down in front of Sam. Blaine isn’t sure he really cares anymore.

Blaine can’t figure out what went wrong, or if he’s making a bigger deal out of Kurt staying home tonight than he should, but he wants to be out in the parking lot making out with Kurt in the back seat of his tiny car, not alone in a smelly camper, thinking about making out with Kurt.

It’s still hot, in the 90’s even now, after midnight, so Blaine figures it has to be nearly 100 degrees inside. He’s sweating, and miserable, and is beginning to think joining Sam on this summer adventure was a really bad idea. He hadn’t anticipated getting his heart broken when he’d said yes.

“Shit.” Blaine sits up, rubbing his face. It’s been almost two hours since Kurt texted him good night, but he looks at his phone again anyway, just in case. It’s too hot to sleep and he can’t think anymore. He’s just about to put his shoes on and go for a walk around the carnival grounds when he hears footsteps and noise outside. The door rattles a little, opening to Sam’s cheerful face.

“S’up,” he says, nodding at Blaine. Blaine watches him shuffle through the kitchen area to his skinny bunk in the back.

“You’re back early,” he says. It sounds like he’s accusing Sam of something, so he apologizes quickly. “Sorry.”

“No worries dude.” Sam just shrugs as he pulls his clothes off. “We just made out a little, it didn’t feel right pushing it,” he says nonchalantly. Sam is one of the few straight boys he’d ever met who didn’t complain when girls didn’t want to do sexy stuff. It’s one of the reasons he and Blaine had become friends. Sam is just nice. Blaine watches Sam strip down to nothing, yanking a towel off of the hook over his bunk and wrapping it around his waist. “It’s gross in here, I’m going to shower.”

Blaine sits up and leans against the wall, not really watching Sam get into the tiny camper shower they shared with Nick and Jeff. Two months ago he’d at least have blushed at the idea, but the camper smelled like it hadn’t been cleaned in weeks (it hadn’t), and seeing Sam (and Nick and Jeff) naked pretty much every day had taken away the allure of - if not boys generally - definitely these boys. At least there are only two more weeks, then he’ll be off on vacation with his parents, and finally off to New York.

“Still sulking about Kurt?” Sam asks when he gets out of the shower. Blaine had told him earlier that Kurt had cancelled on him, and Sam had teased him a little about it then, but he’d stopped when it had only made Blaine sad.

“I’m not sulking.”

“Dude you are totally sulking. You didn’t even stare at my ass when I was taking my clothes off, so I know you’re moping about something. And that’s the only thing I can come up with.”

Blaine throws a pillow at Sam, but he’s laughing a little. “Shut up. I hate you.”

“You love me.” Sam climbs up on the bed next to Blaine and wraps his arms around him. “I’m sure it’s cool. Kurt seems to like you for some reason.” Blaine punches Sam in the side, but he lets his friend hug him. “This is a hot job with lots of dust and contact with the public, and Kurt probably needed to wash his hair like a thousand times or something.”

“That’s not very nice,” Blaine interjects. But the image of Kurt in the shower washing his hair is something Blaine thinks he wants to explore.

“I’m serious Blaine. Kurt’s hair is gorgeous.”

“You’re an ass,” Blaine says, shoving Sam away from him, but they’re both laughing. When they stop Blaine can hear noises outside - probably the other boys. Sam jumps off Blaine’s bed and heads to the kitchenette.

“I’m sure everything’ll be cool in the morning,” Sam reassures him.

Everything is definitely not cool in the morning. It’s nine thirty and Blaine is pacing in the staff parking section waiting for Kurt to show.

Blaine had managed to resist texting Kurt until eight am. He hasn’t heard from Kurt at all, but they have to be on the job by ten, so at that point this point they aren’t going to have much time to hang out together. When Kurt doesn’t text him back until almost nine fifteen - and even then it’s was to tell him he was just leaving his house, Blaine knows there is something Kurt isn’t telling him.

When Kurt finally pulls into a parking space, Blaine rushes over to him before he can get out of the car. Kurt gets out, but he doesn’t seem that happy to see Blaine. Blaine doesn’t get angry very often, but his insides feel like a bad mix of nervous and angry right now.

“Hey,” Blaine says. “I thought you were going to meet me for coffee this morning?” Blaine can see that Kurt definitely does not have any coffee with him.

Kurt’s mouth curves into a frown. “I know. I’m sorry I didn’t have time to stop.”

Blaine’s mouth hangs open. “You didn’t have -” He’s tilting to the angry side of his wound up feelings now. “I asked you if there was something wrong last night Kurt. You said no, but it seems like there is.”

Kurt’s eyes flash for just a second, and Blaine realizes he doesn’t really know Kurt well enough to know what angry looks like on him. He suspects he’s about to find out, even if he still has no idea why Kurt would be angry at him. That only annoys Blaine more.

“There wasn’t something wrong last night,” Kurt answers. Blaine waits for him to go on, but he doesn’t.

“That’s it? You got mad at me overnight for something I didn’t do?” Blaine swallows hard. He feels like he’s at a disadvantage in a fight he doesn’t want to be having. “Kurt, please. What’s wrong?”

Kurt exhales a long breath, like he’d been holding onto it. The fight seems to go out of him, but he looks away from Blaine before he says anything.

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea if we keep seeing each other.” He seems to notice Blaine’s mouth drop open, and he goes on before Blaine can respond. “You’re leaving Monday.” Kurt holds out a hand, like he’s trying to explain something that should be obvious, but Blaine can’t make any sense of it.

Blaine has an overwhelming urge to ask Kurt if he’s breaking up with him, but he can hear in his head how stupid that sounds. They aren’t boyfriends and Blaine is leaving Monday. Maybe Kurt is right. It’s already going to hurt to leave. Blaine doesn’t know what to say, so he just hugs himself and nods, stepping aside so Kurt can go past him on his way to the ticket booth. “I’m sorry,” he manages as Kurt passes. “If I did anything to upset you, I’m sorry.”

Kurt slows down. “I’m sorry you had to work so hard for nothing,” he says, then walks away.

It takes Blaine a full minute to realize he has no idea what Kurt is talking about.

Kurt spends the entire walk to the ticket booth trying to pull himself together, and he thinks he almost succeeds. Rachel is already there when he opens the door, though, and all she has to say is “oh my god what’s wrong?” And he breaks down.

“Rachel I’m so stupid,” he says, taking the tissue she offers. He dries his eyes, thankful that the tears don’t seem to be continuing with any insistence. He tells her about the conversation he had with Blaine, and that he broke things off. “I didn’t really tell him why though. I mean, I don’t know how to do this.”

“Oh I don’t think you’re stupid Kurt. Not about this anyway.” She stops for a minute to sell some ride tickets, continuing when the transaction finishes. “But you know, I’ve seen Blaine look at you, and no matter what Jeff told you it doesn’t look like he’s faking anything.

“And honestly Kurt, you can’t really get angry about relationships a person has before you meet them. Even if I sincerely doubt that anything that happened really qualifies as a relationship,” Rachel says.

“Can’t I?” Kurt glares at her. “Blaine and I didn’t exactly have a relationship either Rachel. No matter how much I wanted to pretend that’s what was happening.” Kurt sniffles. “I wanted it to be real Rach. It felt real.”

Rachel makes a sympathetic face. “Maybe it was real? There’s no rule about how long it takes to develop feelings for someone.”

Kurt shakes his head. “I kissed him for the first time on Tuesday. I don’t know how he could be that invested in such a short amount of time.”

“You are,” Rachel offers.

“Yes well, I’ve never had a boy look at me without wanting to do me physical harm, I’m a hopeless case. It’s not like I’m the first guy Blaine ever kissed. He didn’t need anything from me but sex.”

“You had sex with him? Kurt!”

“Oh my god no Rachel.” Kurt rolls his eyes. “But what else could he want?”

Rachel frowns. “You might be being too hard on him. Blaine didn’t seem like he was such a cad.”

Kurt chuckles at Rachel’s observation, but there’s no humor in it.

“And besides Kurt. We talked about this. You knew there was a hard limit on this. You were supposed to be having fun too,” she reminds him.

“I know.” She raises an eyebrow at him. “Okay, maybe I forgot. But it’s only because he made me forget.”

“Well then maybe it’s good that you cut yourself off,” she says.

Kurt is trying to believe that.

—

The rest of the day is just as miserable as the morning for Blaine. It’s Saturday so it gets crowded early. Blaine is assigned to the Tilt a Whirl, so not only is the line long and steady all morning, but he spends his down time thinking about how much fun he’d had riding it with Kurt just three nights earlier. It feels like an eternity ago, and Blaine still doesn’t really understand how everything went so wrong so fast.

Blaine feels more like a stupid, inexperienced kid than he has in a long time. He’s always assumed he’d be good in a relationship, but it doesn’t seem like he’s going to get a chance to prove it, either to himself or to Kurt. Even if he’s not really even in love, he still wants to understand.

But Kurt had made it pretty clear he didn’t want to see Blaine, and Blaine Anderson was nothing if not respectful of other people’s feelings - even when it hurt - so he spent the day locking carnival goers into cars, admonishing kids to keep their hands inside, and calling maintenance when someone got sick in a car. He only checks his phone ten or twelve times an hour.

Kurt’s shift is over at six thirty, but the day had been so busy that it’s nearly seven by the time he and Rachel are relieved and are walking over to the staff tent to clock out. The sky is overcast, and it definitely looks like it might rain. Kurt silently reprimands himself for being too distracted this morning to thoroughly check the weather forecast. At least he won’t get stuck in it.

“Do you need a ride home?” Kurt asks.

“Actually I don’t,” Rachel answers, a coy smile creeping across her face. “Finn is coming by and we’re going to make a night of it, you know, one last hurrah before I move to New York.”

Kurt rolls his eyes, but not where Rachel can see him. “Rach, you are going to be in Lima for another five weeks. This is hardly going to be your lasthurrah. I fully expect there to be a hurrah once a week until September.” He’s teasing her, and there isn’t any real bite to it, even though they both know it’s true. “But you two have fun.” They punch their time cards and head toward the parking lot, where Finn is already waiting for Rachel.

They exchange hellos and a brief update on the whereabouts of their parents. Kurt’s phone had died earlier, and Finn has heard from Carole more recently than Kurt has heard from Burt.

“I think they saw a Styx cover band last night,” Finn tells him. “And a Foreigner one this afternoon.” He seems excited.

Kurt makes a face. “I suppose if they enjoy it.”

“Sounds sorta cool,” Finn says. “Tomorrow it’s a battle of the Mellencamp cover bands.” Kurt thinks that sounds like an affront to nature, but Finn’s still smiling so he lets it go. Everyone can’t have his discerning taste in music.

“Okay well, you two have fun.” He waves and walks directly to his car. He’s not wondering what Blaine is doing now, or did he eat dinner, or if he already has his eye set on some other guy.

Blaine assumes it’s because it’s threatening to rain, but the carnival stays packed all day, and there are people everywhere. The lines are so long he barely has time to break or eat, and the closest he can get to Kurt without making some kind of a scene is when he sees him in a concession line. Blaine is a few stands over, and he only has time to get his food and get back to his ride, so all he does is stare. Kurt never once looks up or gives him any sign that he sees him. Blaine assumes he does and just won’t look at him, which only makes him feel worse.

He’s sweat through his company issued t-shirt and cargo shorts, and at some point hears a customer complain that the temperature is ‘near 100 degrees in the shade’. The Ohio humidity is making the air soggy, and Blaine’s emotional state is ricocheting between self loathing and directionless anger.

Spending the day buckling in riders gives Blaine a lot of time to think. After he gets through regretting every decision he made that got him to this point, he goes over every interaction he had with Kurt, from the first day they met until this morning. He remembers Kurt seeming so suspicious of him at first, so maybe Blaine really was just moving too fast. If that was true then he wanted Kurt to know that it didn’t matter. He just wanted to spend more time with him. He might be able to fix this.

Once the cars on this turn of the Tilt a Whirl are full and he gets the ride started, Blaine pulls out his phone and shoots off a few texts. They look a little desperate when he rereads them, but he decides not to care. He feels kinda desperate.

Blaine feels a little better after that - at least he’s trying to make things right, but when six thirty comes and goes and Kurt doesn’t answer or stop by to say goodbye or anything, Blaine’s mood turns dark again. Feeling desperate that this might be it, that someone he has real feelings for for the first time in his life might disappear from it, he manages to steal ten minutes to run to the parking lot. He knows it’s a long shot, but sometimes Rachel likes to hang around and do stuff when their shifts are over, and he doesn’t want to give up on the idea of seeing Kurt just yet.

Blaine rushes over to the employee section of the parking lot, but Kurt’s car is definitely not in the spot that he parked in when Blaine had met him there that morning. Feeling defeated, Blaine pulls out his phone, hoping for a text, but all there is is a text from his mother to let him know Julliard sent a letter confirming his roommate information and orientation dates for August. He texts her back a ‘thank you’ and lets her know he’ll try to call her in the morning just to check in.

He doesn’t notice the guy coming at him until it’s too late, and his hand is still in his pocket.

“Fucking little prick,” he hears as someone shoves him and he hits the ground. He’s momentarily grateful that he lands on the grass and not the concrete of the parking lot. Blaine scrambles to get up and realizes it’s the football meatheads from before, the ones who had started in on Kurt. He notices that the one Kurt identified as Dave isn’t with them, and thinks that’s probably not good, when one of the other ones shoves him again.

He doesn’t fall this time, but his anger is close enough to the surface to push him to fight back, and he shoves the biggest one, shouting, “Why don’t you fuck off?” It’s technically still light out, but it’s overcast, and Blaine can feel fat raindrops starting to fall. Still, someone should notice them.

“I bet you’re a little faggot like Hummel, too.” This time two of them come at him, and he does wind up on the ground, just managing to curl into a ball before he feels the first kick.

By the time Kurt pulls into his driveway it’s clear the approaching thunderstorm is an inevitability instead of a possibility, and he’s relieved to be home for the night. It’s been a hot few weeks and the rain will be welcome, even just for the evening. Hopefully Rachel and Finn will be able to get a whole date in before the rain starts. He’s even sort of looking forward to whatever drama the two of them are going to have for the rest of the summer. At least it will be a distraction.

He plugs his phone into his bedside charger and takes a quick shower, pulling on boxers and an old McKinley Football t-shirt before exploring the fridge for possible dinner options. Kurt hadn’t expected to be home, so he hadn’t really prepared anything, and his dad’s assortment of microwave freezer meals was down to a sad looking sweet & sour chicken Lean Cuisine and a couple of frozen burritos.

“I definitely need to go grocery shopping,” he says out loud to absolutely no one, and wonders if he can get away with just eating popcorn for dinner. Rejecting that idea with a sigh, Kurt closes the freezer door and heads to his room to put on some shorts. He can make a quick food run and whip up something with fresh ingredients. He knows it will help him feel better about everything. Besides, there’s only one day left at the carnival anyway, and after that they’ll be gone, and Blaine with them, and his life can get back to its routine.

Kurt contemplates changing his shirt, but ultimately decides there’s no one he needs to impress at Kroger, and honestly the football t-shirt tends to upend stranger’s reactions to him, so he slips his wallet in his pocket and picks up his phone.

There are about a dozen notifications, so he scans through a few pictures of Rachel and Finn that she sent, a couple of texts from his dad checking in on him and a photo of his dad and Carole at one of the concerts from the afternoon. He texts his dad back to let him know things are fine, then thumbs to the next texts. They’re from Blaine.

B: Hey I don’t know what happened, but if we’re moving too fast for you I understand

B: I just want to hang out with you, we don’t have to do anything

B: Please

B: just text me back, or soemthing, I don’t want this morning to be the last time we talk

B: I just want to talk

Kurt can see that they were sent earlier in the day, probably when his phone was dead, and he feels a little pang of guilt for not responding earlier. He’s not entirely sure what he wants to do about it now though, so he grabs his car keys and heads out.

By the time he pulls into the parking lot at Kroger he’s convinced himself that to not respond would be mean, and even though he’s not sure what to feel about Blaine, he doesn’t want to be mean. Blaine was never actually mean to Kurt, in fact he never treated Kurt badly at all. Blaine probably deserved to know that. So he sends him a text telling him they can talk tomorrow, then heads into the store.

Kurt doesn’t spend a lot of time shopping, just picking up enough for the next few days. He likes to do the long term meal planning with Burt, since either of them might have plans some nights, but even though he’s not in the store long it’s pouring rain by the time he gets out.

When he’s in the car he checks his phone again, but Blaine hasn’t read his text, so there’s no response to his offer to talk. He should go home, talk to Blaine tomorrow like he told him he would. Blaine’s probably busy having to shut down the rides because of the rain anyway. Still, he’s feeling a little guilty so when he pulls out of the parking lot Kurt turns toward the carnival grounds.

The last thing he expects to see when he gets there is half a dozen police cars, lights flashing in the parking lot. He can feel the adrenaline shoot up his spine as he tries to drive closer to the staff parking, but when he can’t get close he pulls into an empty spot and runs through the rain to get closer.

“Kurt!” It’s Rachel, so he heads in her direction as she and Finn run toward him.

“Rachel what happened?” He’s already soaking, but he doesn’t care. He spares a second to congratulate himself for not changing out of the t-shirt.

“Karofsky’s friends,” she tells him, shouting through the rain. Kurt’s heart drops into his stomach. “They came looking for Blaine, and somehow got him cornered.”

“How is he? Where is he?” Kurt’s looking everywhere, but there are too many people and flashing lights, and Rachel is shaking her head.

Rachel looks up at him, her eyes wide and a little frightened, her hair a soaking wet mess. “Hospital. An ambulance took him to the hospital.” Finn nods.

“Oh Jesus Rachel - where did they take him?”

“I don’t know, Memorial I guess? The police might know.”

Kurt heads toward where he can see a few officers talking to each other, but detours when he sees one of the crew supervisors, talking to another cop under an umbrella. The supervisor tells Kurt that Blaine was conscious, and they took him to have some x-rays as a precaution, and that Sam went with him. Kurt feels marginally better, and gives the cop his contact information after confirming that Kurt can identify the boys who attacked him the first time.

Kurt points to where he can see his former high school classmates handcuffed and leaning against a police car. “It’s them. Call me if you need anything else.”

The emergency waiting room is crowded when Kurt gets there, so he has no trouble slipping past the check in station when they call a handful of names to the nurses station in the ER. He finds the curtain Blaine is tucked behind when Sam pops out a few yards in front of him.

“Sam!”

“Oh hey Kurt.” Sam seems happy to see him, if a little nervous, so it can’t be terrible news. “Blaine’s in there,“ he points to the area behind the curtain, “but they’re taking him up for x-rays now.”

Before Kurt can ask any other questions Blaine is wheeled out on his hospital bed, he’s wearing a hospital gown but he’s conscious, like Rachel had said.

“Kurt? How did you get here? Never mind - hey stop a sec,” he says to the orderlies. “Kurt don’t leave. Please. Wait for me okay?” He seems a little loopy.

“They gave him some painkillers,” Sam tells him.

Blaine nods. “I feel funny.”

“Oh god Blaine,” Kurt grabs his hand for a second. “I’ll wait, okay?”

Blaine nods as they roll him away.

Kurt looks at Sam. “Tell me everything.”

Sam fills him in, and since Blaine has been awake in the ambulance he knows most of the story. The guys jumped him in the parking lot, but someone noticed them fighting pretty quickly and called the cops. They arrived before anything really bad could happen, but Sam and some of the other guys had gotten there faster and so they really didn’t beat on Blaine for long.

“He says he doesn’t think anything is broken, and he’s had broken ribs before, so,” Sam says. “But he’s probably gonna be bruised tomorrow.”

Kurt sits on the chair in the tiny ER space, remembering that he’s soaking wet as he does.

“He’ll be fine,” Sam says, and Kurt knows Sam is trying to reassure him, so he smiles weakly. “Are you going to stay? Because I need to make a couple of phone calls, so if you’re good?”

Kurt nods. “I’m staying. It’s okay. Go take care of whatever you have to.”

Sam pats him on the shoulder and walks off, phone already at his ear, and Kurt is sitting alone in the ER. Blaine’s soaking wet clothes are in a puddle on the floor, so he picks them up and looks at them. Honestly he has no idea how Blaine is going to get back into them in their current state, and he doesn’t think the hospital provides clothes to go home in. It’s probably too late for him to do anything about it though.

By the time Sam comes back Kurt has already decided to take Blaine home to his house when he’s discharged. He’s convinced himself that Blaine will recuperate better somewhere where he can get some rest, and he can provide it. He isn’t sure what he’s feeling about anything, but he does know that Blaine wouldn’t be here in the hospital if those idiots hadn’t targeted him for standing up for Kurt before. Kurt feels like it’s something he can do to pay him back.

It might give them some uninterrupted time to talk, too, and Kurt would like to talk to Blaine.

“Is he not back yet?” Sam asks. He can see there’s no Blaine though, so he continues. “I talked our staff supervisor and he doesn’t want Blaine to work tomorrow.” Kurt nods.

“Makes sense.” Kurt wants to ask Sam if he thinks bringing Blaine to his house is a good idea, but he waits for Sam to finish.

“Yeah. He also said the weather is predicted to be bad enough that we might not open at all, so you might get a phone call in the morning telling you not to come in either - so don’t be surprised.”

“Well we haven’t had a big summer storm in a while, so we were due,” Kurt says. Sam doesn’t seem to have anything more to add, and Kurt kind of wants to know Sam’s opinion, so he goes on. “I was actually thinking I would take Blaine to my house, after they release him, you know. So he can recuperate.” Kurt is trying to be cool when he says this, and doesn’t quite look at Sam, but Sam isn’t actually stupid. He frowns, but looks at Kurt intently, as if he’s trying to figure him out.

“Dude. He likes you, and he was a mess all day after you blew him off. So if you’re doing this to mess with his head then don’t. He’ll be fine.” Sam is very serious when he says this, and Kurt is genuinely at a loss for how to respond, but Sam goes on. “But, he really likes you. And you’re here, which says something about, well, that you may actually care about him. And if you do? Well, i’m sure he would appreciate it.”

“I’m not trying to mess with him,” he says to Sam, and that seems to be good enough for Sam. “This is kind of my fault.”

Sam shakes his head. “I can see why you might feel that way, but it’s the fault of those assholes. But it’s nice you want to help, so cool.”

They don’t make much more conversation, and it’s near eleven by the time Blaine is brought back into his cubicle. Kurt listens to the doctor fill Blaine and Sam in - the x-rays were negative and nothing is broken, so Blaine needs to ice his ribs and take it easy for a couple days but that should be enough. The doctor gives him some instructions on over the counter pain medication, Blaine and Sam thank him, and they wait for his discharge paperwork.

“Thanks for staying Kurt,” Blaine says when the doctor leaves. They’ve removed his IV and he seems to be a little less loopy than he was earlier. “How did you know what happened?”

Kurt sighs and hugs himself, glancing at Sam, who seems only slightly oblivious. “I got your texts,” he tells Blaine. “I texted you back, but when I didn’t hear from you I thought I would just come by and see what you had to say.”

Blaine smiles at that. “Really?”

Kurt shrugs. “I want to talk. Just maybe not tonight.”

“Blaine, dude,” Sam interrupts. “I’m going to head back, so I can get some sleep. Kurt - you’re sure?”

Kurt nods, but Blaine looks confused. “Yes.”

“Cool. Blaine, call me if you need anything, but I’m sure you’ll be fine. Thanks Kurt,” he says, gripping him on the shoulder before leaning over to give Blaine a hug.

“Wait, what’s going on?” Blaine asks, looking between Kurt and Sam, but Sam just waves goodbye and walks away. “Kurt?”

“I checked with Sam, and he said he thought it was a good idea, since you won’t be working for a couple days,” Kurt starts to explain. “But I thought I’d bring you back to my house so you can get some comfortable rest tomorrow. If that’s okay with you.” When Blaine frowns, Kurt goes on, nervously. “Or if you don’t want that, I can drive you to the fairgrounds, that’s fine too.”

“You want to bring me back to your house?”

“Yeah.” Kurt moves when the admin shows up with Blaine’s paperwork. “If that’s okay?”

“It’s okay.”

#along for the rides #klaine fic #klaine fanfiction #along for the rides chapter 8

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nerdforestgirl · 7 years

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The Adolescence Alternative

Chapter Three: Crush

Previous Chapter: Chapter Two: Friends

That night Amy thought about her afternoon with Sheldon. He was so nice and funny. How had she ever felt like she hated him even a little? Then Amy's eyes went wide as she realized she had a crush on the boy. No. No. No. Amy had a careful plan that she wasn't going to fall for anyone until she was in college when her life was her own. It was going to be when she was happy and free. Not when she was in high school. Not when her parents might very well drag her to another town a month from now.

Still, Amy found herself sketching his bright blue eyes in the corner of her notebook. Then she slammed it shut and decided to call it an early night. She would shake this crush on Sheldon Cooper.

Amy walked into her biology class and automatically slid her chair away from Sheldon’s. He wasn’t there yet. She always arrived in class before he did. Still, she wanted to be far enough away to not smell the soft baby powder smell he would put off when he did finally show up. He didn’t smell like any of those gross body sprays the other boys smelled of. Instead he always just smelled clean. Then Amy pursed her lips and felt frustrated that she noticed another detail about the boy. It was bad enough that she knew he was cute and smart, but now she knew he smelled good too? It was going to be more work than she wished to shake this crush.

“Hello, Amy Farrah Fowler,” Sheldon said cheerfully as he took his normal place next to her.

“Hi,” Amy returned coldly, but regretted it immediately. He hadn’t done anything wrong. He even called her by her full name after she mentioned it only once. “How was your evening?” She added in a friendlier tone.

“It went well. I finished my homework after you left last night. My mother said you are welcome at our home any time you would like,” Sheldon told her. “And I enjoyed our evening, so I also say that you are welcome at my home any time you would like.”

“Yeah. Sure,” Amy muttered. She realized that she stopped listening to Sheldon because she was focused on his soft looking lips. She had never really wanted to kiss someone before now, but it seemed like a really good idea in that moment. She might have leaned in to kiss him right then, in fact, if the teacher didn’t demand all of their attention. She was saved by the bell. Literally.

Amy was in trouble. She knew it, and being mean to Sheldon or ignoring him wasn’t an option. She couldn’t even say hi to him rudely because he was her friend, and this was her problem. She managed to just focus on class for the most part other than occasionally peeking at Sheldon’s hands.

When class was over, Amy was relieved that she wouldn’t have to see Sheldon again until lunch. If he wasn’t there, she actually didn’t think about him all that much. She hadn’t lost her mind. It was just a little crush. She did still think of him, but as she anticipated, it was easier without him right there.

When Amy got to lunch she thought about sitting away from Sheldon, but he grinned at her and pat the seat next to him. He was also sitting next to Leonard per Amy's recommendation. For a pretty strong headed guy, he seemed to be happy to take any advice Amy gave him. Amy took the seat next to Sheldon. Then she turned to the guys and tried to engaged them in conversation. It was harder than normal because Sheldon's arm brushed hers from time to time. With each touch, it felt like she was being shocked in the best way possible.

Amy's heart pounded in her chest, but she managed to get through lunch. Maybe this crush thing wouldn't be so bad. She was a strong, independent young woman who could handle her own emotions. She had sixteen years of practice. She wasn't some silly girl.

Over the weekend, Sheldon invited her over to play some Mystic Lords of Ka'a. She almost said no, but she did like Sheldon. He was her best friend after all. She agreed, and they played until Sheldon got angry about Amy winning. It wasn't hurt fault she was a savant at his stupid game, but she still suggested that they get some blankets to go lie on his lawn and read together instead. She still hadn't finished with his copy of The Hobbit, but she did like it more than she ever thought she would. She also finally dug out her copy of The Canterbury Tales to lend to Sheldon.

“You're favorite book?” Sheldon asked.

“Yes. My favorite book.”

“I've tried to get that information out of you since I started talking to you.”

“You never asked.”

“Oh. There is that. Very well. I will read your favorite book, Amy Farrah Fowler,” Sheldon agreed. Then he got comfortable on the blanket next to Amy Farrah Fowler and they quietly read together. Even if Amy wanted to put down her book and kiss Sheldon until it got dark. It was a bit of a shock that she wanted to anything more than read, but there was bound to be a first for everything.

By Tuesday, Amy had seen Sheldon everyday since her crush realization, and time wasn't helping anything. If anything, it felt worse. Now it felt almost painful to look at Sheldon's bright blue eyes and crooked, smart ass grin. She decided that she needed to something else to help her shake this feeling.

By lunch, Amy had a new plan. She decided to ask out someone who she would never really have feelings for. It would be a nice compromise because she would feel like she couldn’t have any feelings for Sheldon if she was dating someone else, and she wouldn’t fall for anyone else. Not the way she was falling for Sheldon.

“Stuart, what are you doing this weekend?” Amy asked the only member of their small group who didn’t have a significant other.

Everyone looked at Sheldon. It was an unspoken agreement that Sheldon had “dibs” on Amy. Not that Howard, Leonard, or Raj were interested anyway. Still, there was a bit of surprise that Sheldon and Amy weren’t sort of dating already.

“Stuart?” Amy asked again. She didn’t like that they all looked at Sheldon like he had anything to do with it. Was her crush that obvious? How had they all seen it before she had? Just a week ago, Amy would have sworn that she hated Sheldon Cooper.

“Uh. I’m not doing, uh, anything,” Stuart stammered.

“Would you like to go to a movie with me?” Amy asked. She tried to twirl her hair on her index finger, but it just got tangled. She had to awkwardly pull her finger from the tangle. Then she smiled at the boy in front of her. She had never once asked a boy on a date. Maybe she was doing it wrong.

“Sure,” Stuart answered nervously.

“Great. Here is my number. You should call me so we can make plans,” Amy said as she slid over a sheet of paper.

“Super,” Stuart told her. Then he got up and left because he didn’t want to screw anything up before his date. Amy also left because she couldn’t stand the way everyone was looking at her. Maybe this was a mistake, but she couldn’t take it back now.

“Are you okay?” Leonard asked Sheldon.

“I’m fine,” Sheldon told him.

“I thought you and Amy were, you know,” Leonard tried.

“Amy Farrah Fowler and I are nothing more than friends,” Sheldon snapped. It was clear that he was angry.

“Alright,” Leonard said with his hands up in surrender. “If you like her, maybe you should say something to her,” he added quietly.

“I don’t like her. I can barely tolerate her. I’m glad that she’ll be bothering someone else this weekend,” Sheldon said. Then he stormed off too.

“Can I ask you a question about girls?” Leonard asked his girlfriend, Penny, that afternoon when they met up after school.

“Looking to get a new girlfriend?” Penny teased.

“No. I kinda like the one I have. My friend, Sheldon--,” Leonard started.

“The tall weirdo from your math team?”

“Right. He has a friend who everyone thought he liked and she liked him back. I mean, she went over to his house the other day. He doesn’t invite anyone over. Anyway, she asked out Stuart today.”

“Stuart? Interesting choice. Go on.”

“Do you think she really likes Stuart?”

“Maybe. I don’t know her. You said Amy? Is she new? Mousy with glasses and long, pretty brown hair?”

“Yeah.”

“She’s in my gym class. Maybe I’ll talk to her.”

The next day, Penny approached Amy and introduced herself while they were still in the locker room. Amy was just tying her shoes as Penny stepped up.

“Amy, right? I’m Penny. I think you know my boyfriend, Leonard?”

“Yeah. I sit with him at lunch. He’s friends with my… Sheldon,” Amy said. She cringed because she called Sheldon hers, and she could see that Penny caught it. The crush hadn’t eased as of yet. Amy had barely been able to look at Sheldon during both biology and lunch, but it seemed that Sheldon could barely look at her either. Something had fractured between them since she asked Stuart out. She was terrified she ended things between them even if she didn't want things to start either.

“I heard you have a date with Stuart this weekend. He’s a nice guy, so that’s cool.”

“Yeah,” Amy muttered sadly. She wished that she could be excited about it like she would be if it was Sheldon. Amy couldn’t let herself get too attached to Sheldon though. Some day soon she would have to move again. It was bad enough they were friends. This was why Amy didn't make friends.

Penny and Amy went out to the gym from the locker room. Penny asked Amy to be on her soccer team for the day. It was the first time Amy had been picked first for a team even if she wasn’t so bad at sports.

“What are you going to wear on your date?” Penny asked Amy while they got ready to get started playing.

“A sweater probably. Whatever is in my closet.”

“No. It’s a first date. We should go shopping on Friday. I’ll bring my friend, Bernadette, and we’ll go to the mall.”

Amy wasn’t sure why she agreed. Girls who were pretty and popular like Penny weren’t usually so nice to Amy. Not if they didn’t want anything from her. Still, if Penny was dating Leonard, who was definitely a nerd, she might just be okay.

On Friday before school, Amy reminded her mother that she had plans right after school with Penny—along with Penny’s phone number so that Mother could check in with Penny’s parents if needed. It seemed that Mother was more excited about this shopping trip and Amy’s date that weekend than Amy was. She even gave Amy some extra spending money for the trip to the mall.

After school, Penny drove Amy and Bernadette to the mall. Bernadette was a tiny blonde with glasses who was dating Howard. It seemed that they bonded over dating boys on the math team, and Amy spent a little too long imagining being in the seats next to them as she cheered on Sheldon.

“What are you doing on your big date?” Bernadette’s squeaky voice broke through that fog.

“We’re going to a movie, and I think dinner. I let him pick,” Amy told them. She was starting to get that sick feeling that she got whenever she thought about the date. She liked Stuart, but she’d give anything to go out with Sheldon instead. The crush on him only seemed to get stronger. At least he was talking to her again. He had been updating her on his progress through The Canterbury Tales. They spoke about a few of the tales, and Amy loved how often Sheldon blushed at the content. He had even teased her about how she seemed like such a good girl before then.

“Thinking about Stuart?” Bernadette asked when she caught Amy’s smile. It was absolutely the smile of a girl thinking about the boy she liked.

“No. I was thinking about Sheldon,” Amy admitted without realizing the reason Bernadette asked.

“What’s the deal with you and Sheldon?” Penny finally asked.

“He’s my best friend. Can you keep a secret?” Amy asked her new friends who both nodded. “I have a little crush on him.” Amy swore to keep that to herself, but her new friends seemed nice. Maybe they would have some advice.

Penny bit her tongue so that she wouldn’t say “Duh!”

“Why didn’t you ask him out then?” Bernadette asked.

“I like him too much.”

“I missed the part where that makes sense,” Penny said.

“First, it seems entirely possible that asking Sheldon out would not result in a yes. If that happened, things might not work as friends between us. I like him too much to ruin it with my emotions. Second, even if he did want to date me, I might fall in love with him. That would be worse.”

“Why would that be worse?”

“I move a lot. I haven’t even spent a full school year somewhere since sixth grade. What if I fell in love with him and then I had to move again? I would just hurt us both for no reason.”

“So, then you are dating Stuart? Won’t that be a problem with him too?”

“I won’t love Stuart. He’s nice, but not my type. I am hoping to distract myself from Sheldon with Stuart.”

“That seems like a dumb idea,” Penny told her. “You should ask Sheldon out if he’s the one you like. I bet he’d say yes. Leonard said that he thought you guys liked each other.”

Amy had no idea what to say about that. She had never known herself to be the subject of gossip, and now she was hearing that Leonard talked to Penny about Sheldon. Did Sheldon like her? Did he say something? Amy was desperate to know.

“Did you hear something about it?” Amy whispered without looking up at them.

“I heard that he stormed off after you asked out Stuart,” Penny said.

“Well, I already asked Stuart out,” Amy explained. She shrugged and didn’t want to think about Sheldon Cooper anymore. Even if Sheldon did like her the way she liked him, it didn’t solve her moving problem. Amy was practical above all else. It didn’t make sense to fall in love now. Maybe later when she was more sure of her surroundings.

Of course, Amy’s plans were challenged again when she saw Sheldon in a store at the mall. Amy grabbed Penny and Bernadette to hide.

“He’s with a girl,” Penny whispered as she peeked at Sheldon.

“She's pretty,” Bernadette noted.

“That’s his twin sister. I met her when I went over to their house. She’s nice,” Amy explained. If she didn’t know any better, it did look bad. The girl was so pretty, and she shared Sheldon’s bright blue eyes.

“Why are you hiding from me, Amy Farrah Fowler?” Sheldon suddenly asked as he turned his head in their direction. He must have known she was there the whole time because he was still on the other side of the store.

“We weren’t hiding. We were just..,” Amy started, but didn’t have a good excuse.

“Looking at socks,” Bernadette finished up lamely.

“Yes,” Amy agreed.

“Men’s socks?” Sheldon asked. He finally walked over to the girls. He greeted the others by name even though they had never spoken directly before.

“A gift for my father,” Amy tried.

“Oh. That’s nice. You are so thoughtful, Amy Farrah Fowler,” Sheldon told Amy. He wasn't teasing her at all. She could see that he meant it by the smile he gave her.

Amy blushed as she grinned back up at Sheldon.

“What are you up to this weekend, Sheldon?” Penny asked. These two were so cute together, and Penny didn’t understand why they didn’t just go out. She wanted to push them together and tell them to kiss like she did with her dolls when she was a child.

“Leonard and the guys invited me to go play paintball on Sunday. I think they felt sorry for me because. No reason. I mean, they probably just think I’m cool and want to hang out,” Sheldon replied. He was mortified that he had almost told them that the guys felt sorry for him because he liked Amy and she asked another boy out.

“Oh,” Amy muttered. She could see the hurt and embarrassment on his face. She wanted to confess that she liked him, and she thought about a date with him a hundred times more than with Stuart. “That sounds… fun.”

“I suspect it will be,” Sheldon agreed. The group awkwardly stood there in silence until Sheldon’s sister came to drag him away.

“We’re here for you to buy me a birthday present, not talk to your girlfriend,” Missy complained.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Amy muttered sadly after they walked away.

#NFG fan fiction #the adolescence alternative #if you read this on wp you might want to read this chapter anyway i think it fixes some of the pacing issues i had

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btsjfans · 7 years

Text

Class Clown Pt 6

As requested, here is part 6 to Class Clown. Thank you guys for all your support, it’s really fun writing these and I’m glad you guys enjoy(?) them :) Also a special thanks to @cocomomo613 for helping me brainstorm and supporting me and being a true pal.

master list here (part 5 available there)

Summary: Class clown Taehyung has a lot more going on at home than anybody realizes, especially not you, the class Valedictorian.

Taehyung x Reader, fluff/angst (Warning: mentions of alcoholism, etc, not really a present theme anymore though)

You woke up the next morning, curled into a pillow that still smelled like Taehyung from where he sat the night before. You smile, knowing he’s all yours. You roll over getting up for the day, not able to wipe the smile off your face. You eat breakfast and hurry to school, excited to see Tae. You walk into school stopping at your locker to drop off stuff, waiting for Amari to come so you two can walk to class together. You feel a tap on your shoulder, and turn expecting either Amari, but instead you’re met with Taehyung. His honey colored skin glows even in the gross school lighting. He has a cheesy grin, and he leans down, your smiles meeting and melting in a soft kiss,

“How’s my angel today?” He grins leaning against the lockers, watching you with his warm, dark eyes

“Good, better now that you're here.” You smile and close your locker, casting your eyes around in search for Amari. You didn’t want to ditch her to walk with Taehyung but she was nowhere in sight. You guess it’s okay then. She’ll understand. Taehyung grins at your comment and intertwines your fingers together, his long slender digits encircling your smaller ones. The two of you banter on your way to class, and as you walk in, you still see no sign of Amari. And better yet, no sign of Jin still. You feel your heart sink knowing you’ll be sat alone today without Amari, and you kiss Tae’s cheek and let go of his hand to walk to your lonely seat. But, Taehyung’s hand doesn’t let go of yours.

“Y/N, why don’t you sit with Yoongi, Hoseok and I? Amari isn’t here, and it would hurt my heart to see you sitting alone.” He gives you puppy dog eyes, and you sigh relenting. You sit down at his table, making a shy introduction to the two boys. You felt awkward being with them, you’d only spoken to them in elementary school, and that was almost a decade ago. They seemed a little uncomfortable too. The only one who seemed relaxed through all of this was Taehyung, who smiled and held your hand and made light conversation. Soon enough, your boy broke the ice, and the 4 of you were cracking up in no time. Even Yoongi who you only saw rare smiles from was grinning and laughing at Tae’s humor.

“Ah, Y/N, you’ve gotta come sit with us again tomorrow this was just too good,” Hoseok grins sighing as he grabs his stuff.

“Yeah, I think I will.” You smile, sharing an excited glance with Taehyung.

Mine. All mine. I think to myself as I watch her. Y/N laugh, Y/N smile, Y/N. She’s so perfect, and she’s mine. It’s been a week or so and I still can’t believe it. I feel like I’m gonna blink and when I open my eyes she’ll be on the other side of the room ignoring me, Jin will be back, and everything will be as it was before. So I plan on making the most of our time. I don’t see her for the rest of the day, but as school lets out and we walk to her house, hand in hand, I feel like we haven’t been apart like, ever. We get to her house and follow the same routine. Greet her mom, eat a snack, go upstairs, study for a couple hours, make out, cuddle, leave. It’s a good routine, I like it. I get to eat and cuddle my favorite person. I know she’s shy about it, but she really is a good kisser. I like to remind her of that. I walk home and follow my new routine, drop my bag, eat dinner, watch a show with Kook and Dad, take a shower and go to bed. Wednesday passes just the same. Wake up, eat breakfast, say bye to Dad, walk Kook to school, greet Y/N, go through my day, walk to her house, greet her mom, eat, study, kiss, cuddle, leave. Thursday is the same. My life is kinda boring, but it’s the good kind. The kind where everything is peaceful enough you enjoy it, but not too peaceful to where you never have excitement. My newest excitement is Y/N, and as I wake up Friday morning, I feel a grin slip onto my face as I think of our date tonight. I jump out of bed and into my clothes, winking at my reflection as I pass the mirror. I skip out into the hallway, passing my dad.

“Morning dad!” I grin and swing into the kitchen pouring a bowl of cereal.

“My, my, someone’s excited this morning.” He smiles shaking his head as he pours his own cereal. “Oh, and not to ruin your mood, but I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your girl-”

“Sh dad, I not want to hear it.” I smile,not wanting to kill my mood. I don’t know what he was going to say, but I can’t let it kill my vibe.

“Alright.” Dad smiles taking a bite of his cereal.

“Morning,” Kook grumbles sleepily stumbling in.

“Morning!” I call, grinning still. He looks at me in disgust.

“If you’re gonna be that cheery, don’t talk to me.” He mutters sitting down, and my dad laughs. Once he’s done we’re out the door, Kook still wiping sleep from his eyes, and I with a skip in my step. “If I knew you were gonna be this peppy, I would’ve walked alone.”

As we walk into school, I see her standing there. Y/N. Even hearing her name in my head, and seeing her down the hallway fills me with joy. I can’t hold back and I laugh racing down the hallway, wrapping her up in my arms, clutching her against my chest. I bury my face in her neck and breath in her smell, and it’s like breathing fresh air for the first time. I feel her laugh against my chest, and my smile grows.

“I missed you,” I grin and pull away, watching her smile grow.

“I missed you too, what’s all this about?” She grins up at me.

“Our date tonight! I’m so excited!” I grin and pull her into a kiss, and she giggles against my lips pushing me away.

“Tae, we’re in the middle of the hallway! Everybody can see us!” She laughs shaking her head.

“Let them see! Let them see how crazy I am about you!” I announce, and laugh pulling her into my arms. I hear a few chuckles and Y/N squirms in my arms, and I smile letting her go. She closes her locker and we walk to class, hand in hand. As we walk into the classroom, I grin remembering how my friends like her so much, and we talk our seats at the table. As soon as we sit, Hoseok starts talking about how he was supposedly attacked by a gang of ants last night, and Yoongi rolls his eyes as we laugh. I look around at these people, and my smile solidifies. This. This is perfect.

You smile sitting with Taehyung and his friends, loving the jovial laughter all around the table. You don’t even realize Amari is sitting alone behind you until she shoves past you, out the door.

“Hey, Amari!” You call, smiling.

“Oh, do you finally have time for me?” She turns, giving you a cold stare.

“What?” You feel panic rush through you.

“You’ve ignored me all week. Ever since I came back tuesday, you haven't even given me a second thought. When I come to get you from your locker you’re with Taehyung, you sit with him in the morning, at lunch you’re with Yoongi, my Yoongi, and you walk home with him now! You never have time for me anymore! I’m tired of being second to Taehyung.” She turns on her heel storming off.

“Yeah well he wouldn’t leave me like this!” You call, hurt.

“You ready?” Tae smiles, oblivious to your fight, and holds out a hand to walk you to class. You take his hand, holding back tears as you two walk.

The day ends, and Taehyung walks you home, taking your mind temporarily off of your fight with Amari. “So I’ll pick you up at 5?” He smiles innocently at you, a halo of light around him.

“5. I’ll see you then.” You smile and giggle as he attacks you in kisses before you wiggle out of his arms, and into the front door. As the door shuts behind you, tears start to fall.

Y/N seemed a little out of it today. I don’t know why. But this date will change that. I skip into the front door, mentally picking out my outfit. Maybe I should comb my hair differently.

“Taehyung! How was your day?” Dad smiles from the kitchen, grabbing a snack.

“Great! I’m about to go on a date with Y/N too!” I smile, joining him in the kitchen for a snack.

“Ah..Y/N..look son we need to talk.” His face grows solemn.

“What...” I narrow my eyes.

“I don’t want you seeing her anymore. I’ve taken the liberty of going online to check your grades, and yeah, since having her as a tutor, you’re grades have risen and you aren’t failing anymore, but I know how this goes. Your “study dates” will turn into regular dates, and you won’t get anything done. So I got you a new tutor, and I don't want you seeing Y/N anymore. If I hear from Jungkook, or your teachers, that you’re with her, there will be consequences. After the ACT you can see her all you want if you get a satisfactory score.” He says, sipping a water. My blood runs cold. No. No. No.

“No.”

He looks up at me in shock, but it turns to annoyance. “What did you say to me?”

“I said no dad. I care about her. I love her. I believe in myself, and I think I can keep my grades up myself, and she won’t interfere. She encourages me to be better, to do better. I won’t stop seeing her. You can’t be absent from my life for years and years and then waltz back in and act like you know what’s best for me!” I snap, anger boiling inside of me. His face turns angry.

“You don’t speak to me that way. That’s entirely unacceptable. I know I wasn’t the best dad for a while, but I’m here now. I was a parent with your mom, I know what to do. I was a student, I was in your place. And I know where good grades and good scores can get you. I just want a good future for you. I know what a distraction girls can be. No phone, no girls. You can have this back in 3 weeks.” He snatches my phone standing up. “No date tonight either.” He walks out sighing, carrying my phone with him. I feel hot angry tears fill my eyes and I shout running my hands through my hair, tugging on the locks. I’m going to let her down. I have no way of letting her know I can’t come. I’m gonna stand her up.

“Hey Taehyung!” Jungkook walks in.

“Don’t talk to me you snitch!” I snarl and storm off, leaving him in my wake. I have nobody.

You spend 45 minutes sobbing in your room, before you get it together and get ready. You do your hair intricately, and makeup precisely, and carefully picked out your outfit. You sat by your phone waiting for a text, and listened carefully for the sound of the doorbell. You paced. You looked out the window. 5:00. 5:30. 5:45. 6:00. Nothing. By seven you’ve accepted that you’ve been stood up.

You text Amari, begging for her forgiveness. She only leaves you on read. You spam Taehyung, begging for an explanation. No answer. You sit, and cry until you feel sick. You feel as though you have nobody.

The weekend passes awkwardly in our house. I only come out for meals and for the bathroom, taking my food to my room, and ignoring protests from my dad. Jungkook knocks on my door every other hour, asking for forgiveness. I ignore him.

Monday is my first session with Tiffany Lewis. She’s the female equivalent of Jin essentially. Speaking of which, I wonder how long until Jin comes back. I roll around my bed for the rest of the weekend, and watch tv. By the time Monday rolls around, I’m ready to see Y/N and explain myself. I don’t care what my punishment is, I need to speak to her. I roll out of bed and pull on random clothes hoping they match, not even bothering to brush my hair. I pick at my cereal, and Jungkook and my dad exchange a glance.

“Lets go.” I mutter and grab my backpack walking out without a goodbye. Jungkook runs to catch up with me.

“Taehyung, I won’t tell dad if you see Y/N,” he whispers. I nod.

“Thanks.” I leave it at that.

By Saturday, I’d continued texting Amari, and told her what happened. She finally replied and we facetimed for a couple hours, and we talked through our problems, and she comforted me. I’ve never been more thankful. Monday, she and I walked to school together. As I was at my locker grabbing my study waiting for Amari to come back, I hear the familiar rumble of Taehyung’s voice.

“Y/N, I can explain. You know I would never intentionally stand you up, you saw how excited I was to be with you. My dad, he doesn’t want me to see you anymore. He thinks you’ll distract me from my grades. I told him how I felt about you and we kinda fought, and he took my phone. I’m sorry Y/N, I really am. And I want to keep seeing you, but if we want this to work it has to be a secret from my dad, and the teachers. Please, please, forgive me.” He says, his dark eyes shining. You want to take him back, but you’re on such thin ice with Amari you don’t know what to do.

“Okay...After school. Meet me at the stop sign on my street and we can have our dates at my house still and not tell your dad. Just say you’re studying with somebody.” You say.

“See, the thing is, he got me a new tutor. Tiffany Lewis.” He says, rubbing the back of his neck. Your heart thuds to a stop. You hate Tiffany Lewis. She’s always teased you for being smart and whatever. How can she possibly be tutoring? Suddenly a chilling thought enters your mind. What if she’s only tutoring Tae so she can be with him? Like...romantically. Oh no.

“Tiffany Lewis...” You repeat.

“Yeah, but I promise I won’t like fall for her. Like I only fell for you because you’re you but just cause she’s my tutor doesn’t mean anything will happen. I can even record our study sessions. Y/N I just really wanna be with you, and I want you to trust me.” He whines, sounding desperate. The warning bell rings, and you look back seeing Amari giving you a look.

“Taehyung..this is a lot. I...we’ll talk later.” You walk off to Amari.

“Y/N what the hell was that?!” Amari hisses, and you’re shocked because she never swears.

“I..I’ll explain it in class.” You two sit down, and you ignore Hoseok waving you down to come sit with them. You relay the story to Amari who bites her lip frowning.

“His dad?” She asks.

“Yeah, why is that all you’re picking up from the story?” You’re frustrated now.

“Y/N, I hate to tell you this, but V’s dad is an alcoholic. My uncle is the bartender and last time I saw him he told me that his dad was a regular. Coming in, getting wasted. My uncle has taken him home sometimes, and he said he could hear V and Kook crying or hiding.” Amari says quietly, her words haunting your mind. You imagine V, clutching Jungkook and trying not to make a sound. Your heart shatters as you look at the boy smiling across the room. Suddenly it makes sense. When you used to tutor him, and you first started tutoring him, he’d have random bruises on his face or arms, or cuts in odd places. He claimed it was funny accidents but now you can’t help but wonder-

“Amari, I think Taehyung’s been abused.”

End of Part 6.

Thank you guys so much for reading, don’t forget to message me or send me an ask and tell me what you think, or if you want a part 7!! I’m still taking requests so my ask box is open, and I’m always willing to chat if you wanna send me a message. Thanks again!! I hope you enjoyed! xx

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themaninflannel · 7 years

Text

Birthdays

Summary: birthdays aren't a thing in the Winchester household until Y/N comes along that is. what happens when she shows Dean that sometimes cake is better than pie

Pairing: dean x reader

word count: ~1400

Warnings: fllluuuffff, lowkey sad fluff, mentions of death,

A/N: this is lowkey inspired by deans birthday yesterday and then it just got our of my hands, sorry

The Winchesters never really celebrated birthdays, I mean they didn't exactly grow up somewhere that you could easily bake a cake(not that John knew how to bake one anyway), Dean always bought Sam a little something and Sam usually bought the beer for Dean's but it was never a big thing. Until they met Y/N, she had a family, and a relatively traditional one at that, until they all got murdered by demons of course; but that's when she found the Winchesters, and she made it her job to show them some family traditions that they had missed out on.

The first year she was hunting with them they moved into the bunker and she started cooking. Most nights she completely took over the kitchen, especially when she was drunk,

"Hey! Boys come in here! I have a surprise...!" she would call out to the study every time.

"oh Lord, not again." would be Deans response as he walked in to see Y/N giggling as she presented whatever that night's concoction was, completely ignoring the mess she had made that took up the whole counter behind her. she was always so proud of what she made and rightly so, seeing as it was always delicious and there were rarely any leftovers- and if there were they never lasted long. one night Y/N got dean to some in and cook with her, and he would never let anyone know this but it was the best night of his life, it was the first time he felt like he had a real family. it was also the night he fell in love with her; this, however, he would tell her on a warm summer night many many years later.

The first time Dean's birthday came around she didn't even know it was happening until the end of the night.

"sit down Dean, It's your birthday, I'm paying the tab tonight," sam clapped his brother on the shoulder.

"thanks, man," was Deans only acknowledgment of getting a year older. Y/N didn's say anything at the bar because she didn't want to make a big deal out of it in front of Sam if that's not what Dean wanted. however, when they got back to the bunker she pulled him aside and gave him a big birthday hug, she pulled away slowly, never wanting to leave his embrace, before she walked away she wished him a happy birthday and gave him a kiss on the cheek making them both blush.

the next year on deans birthday she made him a cake; specifically, yellow cake with chocolate frosting, the cake her mother always made her. Y/N wanted to share that special part of her childhood with the Winchesters, although she did want to share more than just cake with the older brother.

"you remembered?" he asked when she surprised him with beer and cake while he was doing research on a potential hunt.

"of course, and i made you a kick ass cake so you better appreciate it," Dean always felt like he was more of a pie guy, but he wasn't going to tell Y/N that and sound ungrateful so he cut himself a big piece and once he took the first bite he swore had never had cake that, and he loved it. I'm sure it helped that she had made it. the cake became a tradition that she brought to the bunker. one day she made a cake on a Tuesday. Just a normal Tuesday. or it was a normal day to anyone that wasn't Y/N, to her it was the anniversary of her parent's death and when she met the boys. That night Dean found her her drunk, in the kitchen, eating the cake straight from the platter with a fork. He knew something was wrong, he knew her better than anyone(although it didn't take a mastermind to know that a crying woman is not a happy one). while his arms were wrapped around her waist he thought back to when they first met, and it dawned on him what day it was.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart, it's ok, shhh, shhh," he whispered into her hair as he hugged her tighter, "i know this day sucks for you, and i will do anything to make you feel better, just tell me what to do," he begged once she stopped sobbing.

"eat cake with me, that way i cant eat it all," she handed him a fork. after a while of silent eating, she started telling stories about her parents.

"my mom, oh i made her so angry, i would always sneak out of my room in the middle of the night to eat my birthday cake and i would always have it as a meal while she was at work. she hated that. and yet she always said that it was my birthday cake, i could eat it how i wanted. God, she let me get away with so much stuff. like, the day she was murdered i tore through her closet leaving everything on the floor trying to find something to wear on a date, she new i was nervous so she didn't even get on my case for using her spare key and doing it without her even being home. let alone having her permission."

"why were you nervous" dean took another bite of his favorite cake.

"it was the first time i had a date after getting out of a really crappy relationship," she took a huge bite and put her hand over her mouth so she could keep talking, "i feel terrible, i was happy to get the message that the cops needed me, i had to get out of that day-he was a creep- and i turned up at the police station i was still all dolled up,"

"i remember, you looked gorgeous." deans face started to turn red and he tried to hide it by taking another bite.

"perv, my parents had just died, don't hit on someone when you just told them their family was dead." Y/N glared at him.

"i know, i wasn't trying to be gross. but its something I've thought almost every day since.." Dean trailed off giving up hope on trying to hide his face.

"trust me, you weren't the only one checking someone out that day," she said very leadingly getting off her stool and walking over to him so that she was standing between his bent knees. his arms reflexively went around her waist. she leaned in closer, pausing and looking him in the eye to make sure he was ok with what she was about to do. she brought her hands so one was on his face and the other found its way to his hair and she crashed her lips into his with more passion than he had ever felt, in response Dean brought his arms around so that his hands touched the back of her shoulders and neck, his tongue ran along her lower lip showing that he wanted a deeper kiss. without hesitation, she opened her lips and let him in. they stayed like that for a while before Dean pulled away and looked at her with such a vulnerable caring look on his face that broke Y/N's heart.

"wha...do you even know how long I've wanted to do that? and you beat me to it......" he smiled at her with all the love in his eyes radiating into her soul.

"oh honey, you could have done it anytime, but i guess I'm just ballsier than you." she teased as she went in for another kiss.

Y/N had made a home with the Winchesters and now she had found love with the elder brother. they became one of those couples that are somehow simultaneously disgustingly cute and always teasing/sassing each other. Sam was of course incredibly happy for Dean, but even he could only stand it for so long before making vomit noises and walking away. they were ok with that. just as Dean would tell Y/N about when he knew he loved her, she would tell him how she knew from the first time she saw him that he was her future.

tags:

@rdy4thevoid,

#Dean x reader #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester #dean winchester oneshot #reader insert #dean fluff #supernatural imagine #supernatural fic #spn #spn one shot #supernatural oneshot #supernatural fluff

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sdhs-connormurphy · 7 years

Text

Therapy Session 3

(Long self-para. Same triggers as usual).

Connor practically floated through the week. It started off pretty shit, with the usual fights with his parents, and the fights with Zoe. But that Tuesday, the second week of school, things suddenly got exponentially brighter.

He got to meet Evan. No, he didn’t just get to meet Evan, he met Evan and they didn’t fight or anything. They went for ice cream and talked about their favorite books and music and subjects. And then the night after, he got to meet Ms. Hans—Heidi. He got to meet Heidi and have dinner with them. For once in his life, things were looking okay. Maybe even better than okay.

He waved at Anna as he went inside. She waved back and giggled. Connor shook it off, because she was probably just being nice. Or maybe she noticed how happy he was too. He nearly ran into the therapy room. The rest of the group was already there, and Connor didn’t know if this was reality or if he was just filtering things through his happiness, but they all seemed lighter too.

“Hello Connor,” Peggy smiled at him. “Hello gentlemen. How is everyone this week?”

Silence. Connor shifted a little. He wanted so much to tell them about Evan, but he didn’t want to take up too much space, especially if someone had something horribly important they needed to share.

“Something happy, please,” Dennis joked. “I wanna know the good things about y’all’s lives. We already know there’s bad stuff we gotta deal with. I wanna know the good things.”

“That’s a good idea, Dennis, thank you,” Peggy replied. “Anybody want to start?”

Connor’s hand shot up immediately. The group laughed and made comments about him being excited, an “eager beaver,” but Connor didn’t mind at all. He didn’t even wait for Peggy to call on him. “My pen-pal moved to my school. I got to meet him on Tuesday and had dinner with him and his mom last night.” He paused. He should probably explain why Evan moving in was so exciting. “I’ve never really had friends at my school before. Or anywhere really. Everyone’s just been too afraid of me to ever want to get close. I’ve been writing to him for a year, and now I finally get to meet him in person.”

“How’d that make you feel, getting to meet him?” Peggy asked.

“Really good. It was kind of surreal, I never thought I’d get to. He’s exactly the way that I pictured him from his letters…which kind of makes me nervous.”

“How come?” Thad asked. Other group members nodded and waited for Connor to answer.

“…Well…,” Connor paused and bit his lip. “He’s not really someone people would, I guess, expect me to be friends with. He’s got a lot of anxiety, social, general, panics, you name it. So I guess I’m just scared that I’ll be too much for him.”

“What do you mean by that, Connor? Too much for him?”

“I don’t know. Like I’m gonna get mad at him and scare him off. Or like he’s going to hear about me from all the other people at school and realize that I’m bad news.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Things like this always start out nice but something always goes wrong.”

“Like a time bomb, right?” Jacob asked. Connor nodded. “Yeah, I’ve been there before.” The rest of the group nodded in solidarity. “Every time something good happens, it’s ‘How long is this going to last before I do something stupid?’”

“How long’s it gonna be before I get mad?” Russell added.

“How long before I get pushed back down?” Dennis added.

The group fell silent. Connor picked at his fingernails and looked around the room. Nobody looked like they knew what to say. Finally, Peggy broke the silence. “It sounds like everybody’s feeling a sense of doom connected with their anger. That you always get angry, and that it comes out of nowhere. And that there isn’t anything that you can do about it.” Silence. “That’s what we’re going to talk about today. We’ve already talked about what anger is and how you each express your anger. This session, we’re going to talk about anger triggers.”

“Wait a minute, wait a minute,” Robert interrupted. “Triggers? You mean those things that college kids are always talking about? ‘Don’t talk about this because it makes me uncomfortable,’ trigger warnings and stuff?”

The rest of the group looked equally skeptical.

“It’s the new generation, they’re always like this.”

“That’s such bullshit, I grew up without ‘trigger warnings’ and I didn’t have any problems.”

“How are we supposed to get anything done? Kids these days…”

“I know! When I was a kid, we didn’t have all these fancy words. People weren’t so easily offended.”

Connor suddenly felt very uncomfortable. He folded his arms and slouched back into his chair. He wanted to disappear. Maybe if he was lucky this conversation would blow over. His hands started to itch and his chest tightened.

Peggy noticed that right away. “Connor, you seem bothered by the conversation that’s going on right now. Is there something you want to say?”

Connor bit his lip. The group was completely silent, waiting for him to say something. “Yeah. You guys all sound like my dad.”

“Is it what the group is saying?”

Connor nodded. “Yeah, but it’s how you guys are saying it too. It’s like you’re saying me and my generation don’t know any better. But we do, we know that mental illness and trauma are actually real and damaging and not just something that we can pretend doesn’t exist by telling someone that they’re depressed because they don’t go on enough walks or because God hates them.”

“How are you fe—“

“Angry. ‘Didn’t have any problems’ my ass, we’re in a fucking anger management group.” Dead silence. “I’m sorry, I need a minute.” Before anyone could say anything, Connor was out the door.

It banged shut behind him. Connor slammed his fist against the wall. “Fuck!” He grabbed fistfuls of his hair. Of course they were just like every other adult. Of course they shat on people his age. Of course they did, because why wouldn’t they? It wasn’t like anyone was stopping them! And right after they’d been so happy for him that he actually managed to make a friend! Connor felt his chest tightening and all he could think about was Evan. How Evan would feel hearing all that stuff. Evan, who has a very real mental illness and probably has more than a few triggers himself, hearing that the other people Connor trusted the most saying that his mental illness was second to their ability to say whatever they want without consequences.

Get it together. Stop. Breathe. Relax. Don’t hit the wall again. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. His hands wandered to the heart-belly breathing position. Good. Breathe. Focus on your hands. Think about how happy Evan was to meet you. How happy Heidi was to meet you. How happy you were to meet them. Think about A La Mode, and dinner at his place. He felt his heart slow back down to normal.

“Connor?”

He opened his eyes. “Oh. Peggy. I’m…I’m sorry about what I said.”

Peggy shook her head. “You don’t need to apologize. The group actually has something they want to say, if you’re ready to come back into the space.”

Connor nodded and followed behind Peggy. He sat back down in his chair and looked around at the group. No one else looked back. Jacob broke the silence.

“We’re sorry about what we said. It wasn’t fair to generalize like that.”

Thad nodded. “Mental illness wasn’t something people talked about when we were your age. People were just weird, or weak, or crazy. We say that we’re understanding it better, but we weren’t very understanding just now.”

“What we were saying made you upset. Which wasn’t fair. We want everyone to be comfortable here, you know? Cause we’re the only ones who get it,” Carlos gestured to the group. “And if we can’t be respectful of each other, who can?”

Connor shrugged. “We’ve got to stick together.” Carlos smiled and nodded in agreement. “I wasn’t personally offended by anything any of you said. It just felt…gross, I guess. Cause I couldn’t stop thinking about how that’s exactly what my parents would say. That we don’t know any better because we’re just kids.” He paused. “I accept your apologies though. Thank you.”

Peggy smiled softly. “Thank you, Connor. And I’m sorry for not seeing that the conversation made you uncomfortable sooner. I should have been paying better attention.” She paused, letting her words sink in. “Thank you, everyone.” The group sat in silence for a few moments.

Robert raised his hand, almost timidly. “But…I guess I still don’t understand what a trigger actually is? It’s never been explained well.”

“Thank you for your question, Robert. The word ‘trigger’ does have a lot of complexity behind it. Let’s go around the circle, talk about it.” Peggy stood up and went to the large paper easel. “Who would like to start?”

Dennis raised his hand. “I mean, I’ve only really heard it when people are talking about guns. So I’d say it’s something that sets someone off.” Peggy nodded and wrote “sets someone off” on the board.

“Something that makes people uncomfortable,” Carlos added.

“Flashbacks and stuff, like with fights or rape,” Thad added. “My uncle’s got PTSD, he can’t hear gunshots or sirens without thinking he’s about to die.”

Jacob shrugged. “I’ve only ever heard it in the trigger warning debate. So…emotional material?”

“No idea,” Russell shook his head. “Something that happens right before something else?”

Now it was back to Connor. “I mean…all I know is what I know from Evan. When something happens that makes him anxious, it’s like his brain goes into hyperdrive. He notices and obsesses over everything, he’s always looking for the closest exit.”

Peggy finished writing down everything that the group said. “So, what I see is that a trigger is something that happens right before something else. Triggers make people emotional, and it might cause someone to re-experience something traumatic from their past. Is this the definition we want to use?” Connor looked around the group, who were all nodding with varying degrees of enthusiasm. He nodded too. “Okay, so if this is our definition of trigger, what’s an anger trigger?”

“Something that makes people angry,” Robert replied without missing a beat.

“Exactly.” Peggy smiled. “Think about the last time you got angry. Could be at someone, at something, whatever.” She paused, letting the group think. “Now I want you to think about what happened before that. Not what happened the night before, or that morning, but right before you got angry.”

Connor bit his lip. The last time he got angry was, well, a few minutes ago. And he knew exactly what set it off, it was the way that the group was talking about people his age. Like they didn’t know what they were talking about, and they were being ignored. But before that…the last time he got mad was at his dad. He didn’t like how much Connor was smoking. He wanted him to stop. And he wouldn’t even listen when Connor told him that smoking was the only thing that made him feel better on the days when he couldn’t get out of bed.

“Alright, I’m going to put you all into groups,” Peggy continued. “Jacob and Connor, Dennis and Thad, and Carlos, Russell, and Robert.” The group shifted around so they were sitting next to their assigned group members. Connor smiled at Jacob when he moved his chair over. “And in your groups, I want you to discuss your anger triggers.”

Jacob nodded to Connor. “You first.”

Connor shrugged. “I mean, I think it’s pretty obvious. I get really mad when people don’t listen to me, or when they think they know better than me. It’s mostly my parents and teachers, they get condescending.”

Jacob nodded. “Sounds about right. Not like that, don’t give me that look. I mean I was the same way. That’s mostly transferred now to people not taking responsibility for their actions, and people not doing what they say they’re going to do.”

Connor smirked. “I know, I know. But yeah I see where you’re coming from too.”

“If I had to sum it up with one word, I’d say disrespect. Disrespect makes me angry.”

Connor nodded. “Makes sense.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Me too, I guess. But is it disrespect if it comes from your parents?”

“Disrespect is disrespect. No matter who it is.”

That last sentence hung in the air for a few minutes. Suddenly the fights with his dad, the arguing with his mom, it all made so much more sense. Connor picked at his nails. “I mean…I don’t feel disrespected. I just feel really invalidated. Like nothing I say or do matters, because they aren’t going to listen to me anyway.”

“You can call it whatever you want. To me it sounds like disrespect though.”

Connor shrugged. It didn’t matter what Jacob called it. He glanced over at the other groups. They all seemed like they were at about the same place Jacob and he were. That is, they’d discussed their anger triggers and now were at a bit of a loss of what to do.

“Okay, and once you think you’ve talked about the triggers you feel comfortable disclosing, I want you to close your eyes and think about them. Anything about them, people, memories, free associate.”

Connor and Jacob exchanged a glance. Jacob chuckled and shut his eyes. Connor glanced over at Peggy before shutting his own eyes. Whatever…

Immediately his mind filled with images of his family. Particularly his dad. ‘Connor, what the hell is going on with you?’ He’d ask that all the time but whenever Connor was even given the opportunity to explain himself—which wasn’t very often!—he wouldn’t let Connor explain himself for long before he interrupted with ‘grow up,’ ‘don’t take everything so personally,’ and worst of all, ‘you just wait until you’re an adult, you think you know better now, wait and see!’

“Now, I want you to think down to the root of your anger. The one thing that connects all your anger triggers together. And the next time you feel yourself getting angry, I want you to pause, and think back to this moment. Can you find the anger trigger there? And if you can, how can you address it?” Connor inhaled and exhaled shakily as he listened to Peggy. “I will control my anger. My anger will not control me.”

“I will control my anger. My anger will not control me,” the group repeated. Connor opened his eyes and watched the others grab their coats. Several stopped to wish each other goodbye and a good week, with words or with a gentle hand on the shoulder.

“Hey, Peggy?” Connor asked, getting up and going to her.

“Oh, Connor. I have the note you asked for last week, just here in my folder.” She smiled and handed him a small, folded sheet of paper.

He smiled back. “Perfect. That’s just what I was going to ask you about.” He waved at her. “See you next week.”

“Take care now.”

Connor gave her a final smile and left the room. As he walked towards the bus stop, he unfolded the letter.

To Whom It May Concern,

Mr. Connor Murphy is currently attending anger management sessions at Clemens Community Centre under my supervision. It is advised that he be allowed to leave class whenever the classroom environment becomes too overwhelming or aggravating for him, in order to minimize outbursts. Mr. Murphy has been told when this happens he is to collect himself outside the classroom for no more than two (2) minutes. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact me at the number provided at the bottom of this note.

Thank you,

Peggy Schuyler, CGP, CAMF

Connor slipped the letter into his pocket as he got on the bus. He pulled out his phone and texted Evan. “Hey, are you still up for talking to Miss Honey tomorrow?” The bus set off, blurring the barely on streetlights against the sunset. “I’ve got some new accomodations I have to talk to her about too.”

#therapy #tw: therapy #tw: anger management

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