#no more updates until september!!! i'm sorry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wastelandmoony · 2 months

Text

Déjà Vécu

Chapter Thirty-One : End of Beginning

Summary: Last school chapter =) Enjoy any happiness while you can.

Characters: Remus Lupin/Reader, Sirius Black/Reader (no use of y/n), James Potter, Petter Pettigrew, Regulus Black, Marlene McKinnon, Mary MacDonald, Lily Evans

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI

A/N: Having a rough time mentally, so I'm not going to beat myself up about my less-than-thrilled feelings about this chapter. I've begun writing post-war chapters, and I'm excited to be transitioning out of Hogwarts. Also, if you've messaged me recently about being on a taglist, I answered everyone privately and have realized I can't go back and get your handles. So please message me again and I'll add it =)

Déjà Vécu Masterlist

Companion Playlist

Read on AO3

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

September 1st, 1977

“My little witch is all grown up!” Tears streamed down her mother’s face as they entered Platform 9 3/4. The entire drive to King’s Cross, the crushing reality of this final train ride to Hogwarts began to sink in.

This was it. The chapter was coming to a close.

She hugged her parents tightly, which she tried to do as much as possible nowadays. The news was getting bleaker and bleaker, the Daily Prophet trying to sweep as much of it under the rug as they could. Those that dared print any iota of the truth usually ended up disappearing, the whisperings of such occurrences becoming more frequent. Luckily, James’ parents had begun to include him in more of their discussions, leading to the rest of them hearing the truth in great detail. He’d written her in mid-august, after Sirius had arrived back at Potter manor, to give an update on the efforts being port forth by people like his parents. He also implored her to find out who Sirius’ suspected new girlfriend was, disclosing that their friend had been acting “slightly less insane and kept sneaking off to send owls”. She didn’t respond, just laughed and mentioned it to Sirius in her next letter. They’d agreed to not address their relationship with the others just yet, waiting to put it off until the school year and live for a few more weeks amongst their own little secret. There were no titles spoken of, no boyfriend or girlfriend, partner or lover; they were just…together. Sirius was hers, and she was his; and that was enough for them both.

James appeared on the train platform first, unruly hair catching her eye before his enthusiastic wave. Following quickly behind was Peter, who looked distant and preoccupied, and finally Sirius, who smiled broadly when he caught sight of who James was staring at. Racing towards them, she launched into Sirius’ arms as he tossed his bags to the ground. Cradling her face, he kissed her earnestly. From beside them, Peter openly groaned.

“It’s about bloody time!” James sighed loudly, the smile evident in his voice. Sirius gave his best friend a rude gesture, never breaking the kiss in the process.

“Oh no, are we going to have to deal with this for the foreseeable future?” Remus had walked up behind them, the sound of his voice had her pulling away with a slight grin.

“Hi Moony, sorry I didn’t write much,” she hugged him in greeting.

He squeezed her, “It’s alright, you were obviously occupied.”

She pinched him, leading to a sly smirk from Remus. He kissed the top of her head, “I’m happy for you, love,” he whispered into her ear.

Sirius threw a leather-clad arm around her shoulders, motioning towards the train, “Alright then, Head Boy, lead the way.”

She followed his gaze to James, “What?! Jamie!”

He blushed at the attention, “Oh, uh, yeah…Lily’s made Head Girl too actually.”

“That’s an extremely unsurprising, yet serendipitous decision,” she laughed, “Congratulations, you deserve it.”

“Yeah, he’s a proper arsehole now—ow!” Sirius cradled his side where she’d elbowed him.

James smiled fondly at her, picking up his trunk and leading them all onto the Hogwarts Express one last time.

———

November 5th, 1977

She’d never been this drunk at a party before. The entire Gryffindor Common Room was a blur of scarlet and and gold, bodies packed tight while the Clash played loudly through the speakers. Sirius had wanted an all out banger for his final birthday at Hogwarts, inviting essentially any warm body (and a few ghosts) to the tower for a night “full of debauchery” as he had put it to anyone that would listen. Earlier in the afternoon she had given him his present, a new album from the Sex Pistols. Sirius had hearts in his eyes listening to the opening song, only pulling himself away to lock the dormitory door and kiss his way across her body. They had spent the rest of the afternoon tangled in each other, with only the sound of Pretty Vacant on repeat to muffle their unholy noises from the rest of the residents of the tower.

At midnight, Lily brought out the birthday cake with the help of James, the two of them getting the entire tower to sing along while Sirius sat against the arm of the couch beaming. He reached out and pulled her onto his lap, holding tight as he waited to blow out his candles. After making a little show of pretending to “think” about his wish, he finally extinguished them, planting a gentle kiss to her shoulder in the process.

“What’d you wish for?” She asked, turning around to face him once everyone had gone back to dancing, or drinking, or doing…whatever it was they were doing.

Sirius nuzzled against her neck, “You know precisely what I wished for, love.”

She hummed, skimming a hand down his spine, “…only if you’re a good boy tonight.”

He looked up at her with heavy lids, from the firewhisky or lust or both, she wasn’t quite sure. Distracted by his gaze, she let out a surprised gasp as his hand snaked its way around to grab her backside obscenely.

“Bad dog…” she purred, kissing him once as he tried to wander his hands further. “I’m going to go get some air, it’s too hot in here.” One last soft kiss, and she wiggled out of his grasp just as James and Remus came over to ask him to settle an apparently desperate argument having to do with quidditch.

The corridor outside of the common room was chilly in the most delicious way, and she practically moaned with relief as the portrait swung shut. She inhaled deeply and sighed. The floor felt like it was spinning a little bit. She should probably sit down or something.

She opened her eyes and saw a friendly face leaning against the window, a bottle of firewhisky in his hand.

“Hey Pete,” she smiled, joining him against the wall. He didn’t return the warm welcome, just hummed in acknowledgement. “You alright?” She dragged her eyes over his face, something was up, he never acted so cold with her. A look down at the bottle pointed to him being completely off his face.

Peter shifted on his feet, “I’m fine. Just…relaxing.”

“I was wondering where you’d gone off to, I didn’t see you when we sang to Sirius,” even in her drunken state she sensed his tense energy and tried to keep the conversation light.

“Oh yeah?” He said almost sarcastically, “I didn’t think anyone had noticed.”

She shook her head slightly and let out a laugh, “What’re you talking about, Pete? Of course I’d notice if you—“

“How long have I been gone then?” He asked a little too aggressively for her liking.

“I…I don’t know Peter, I’ve been drinking and—“

“Yeah, I know. I also know that your favorite drink is firewhisky mixed with cider, you’ve had four of them already tonight. You only dance to Abba, but you’ll always keep time with your foot to every song you hear. You absolutely loathe potions, but you always light up whenever you figure out the best way to combine ingredients. Your favorite color is orange, but not like pumpkin orange; bold and dramatic like a sunset. You always scrunch your nose before a bludger hit. Your deepest fear is failure, and you still hate the fact that you were put in Hufflepuff even though you pretend you don’t.”

She stared at her friend, completely at a loss for any words as he continued on his tirade.

“I know that you talk to Remus somehow through that book you always carry.”

“How do you—“ her heart beat faster, the only other person to know about that was Sirius.

“I also know you’ve been sneaking into our dormitory for over a year to sleep in Sirius’ bed.” His tone bordered on accusatory. She continued to stare, dumbfounded by all of it.

“Don’t tell me that you notice me,” Pete held her gaze steady for someone that had a half-empty bottle of whisky in his hand, “Because I would know a thing or two about noticing people.”

“You’re wrong,” she whispered, voice cracking slightly. The corridor had stopped tilting, but the air was heavy with discomfort as she gathered her bearings.

Peter took a step closer towards her, “I’m sorry?”

She cleared her throat, “I said you’re wrong. My biggest fear isn’t failure.”

Peter’s laugh was on the verge of bitterness, “Yeah? What is it then, Sirius breaking up with you when he finally gets bored?”

Oh.

Ouch. Is this what it felt like to be stabbed? She was pretty sure he had just jammed a serrated knife into her abdomen.

“No, Peter,” she spat, curling her fists to avoid him seeing her shaking hands, “My biggest fear is losing the people I love, which includes you, believe it or not.”

Before she could move, Peter grabbed her face and kissed her. She froze for a moment, too drunk to fully comprehend what in the actual fuck was going on. Carefully, she grabbed both of his hands and pushed him back gently. “Peter—“

“What the fuck are you playing at, Pete?”

Sirius was standing in the open portrait entrance, eyes narrowed on his friend, full of rage and betrayal.

“Sirius it’s fine, just a misunderstanding—“ she started, as he ignored her to push Peter against the wall.

“Stop!” She stood between them, taking Sirius’ face between her palms. “Look at me, Siri.”

Reluctantly, his blue eyes slid to her, “We’re all shit-faced. Let’s go upstairs and go to bed. Everything’s fine.”

“I don’t want him to touch you. I don’t want anyone to touch you,” she could hear the anger in his voice, the same kind she had heard last year in the forest. The same sadness and fear was present too, just beneath the surface. Unsure of what to say, she kissed him.

“I don’t want anyone else to touch me, Sirius,” she said against his lips, “I love you.”

He stopped and stared at her through heavy lids, mouth still centimeters from hers.

“Say that again.”

“I love you?”

He kissed her softly, “again.”

“I love you.”

He picked her up and she began to laugh, carrying her back toward the common room.

“I’m going to make you scream it so loud the entire tower hears,” he growled into her ear.

As the portrait swung shut, she noticed that Peter had disappeared, and the corridor was empty, save for a half empty whisky bottle.

———

December 23, 1977

As a collective, they had decided to remain at Hogwarts for the winter holidays, to be together one last time in the place they all called home. All of them, except for Peter.

She had tried to convince him to stay, even going as far as to bribe him with promises to complete the rest of his essays for the year. He had declined every offer. His reasoning allegedly that his parents were going through a tough time, and they wanted to be together for the holidays. She couldn’t argue with that, not when she’d do the same for her family. The feeling was bittersweet as she hugged her friend goodbye on the last day of term, the promises of fun and mischief on the horizon for the next week shadowed by the fractured dynamic now that they’d be missing one piece of the puzzle. They hadn’t spoken about the night of Sirius’ birthday party, the three of them choosing instead to chalk it up to drunken stupidity and sweep it under the rug. But she hadn’t forgotten the way he had spoken to her, how his eyes held such despair and pain. None of it was normal, not for Pete, who was usually quiet and sweet and always made her smile no matter what. Something was going on, she just needed to do some digging.

Pete squeezed her hand once before leaving for the carriage ride over to Hogsmeade station, offering a small reassuring smile before disappearing from the Great Hall that morning. Sirius pulled her onto his lap at the breakfast table, her eyes still focused on Peter exiting the main doors, “Stop worrying,” he murmured into a kiss on her temple.

“I’m not,” she lied.

He gently grabbed her chin to turn towards him, “You’re getting that little crease between your eyebrows, don’t lie to me, Yellowjacket.” She shot him an annoyed glare, trying to not break into a smile.

“So what’s the plan?” Mary leaned forward to look expectantly at the rest of them down the table.

James beamed, “Whatever we want, the castle is ours.”

———

Apparently “whatever we want” meant different things to each person involved.

James and Lily snuck away to ‘explore the grounds’ (which they all knew was code for feeling each other up in the Prefects bathroom); Mary had turned the Common Room into her own personal nightclub, blasting music and dancing around atop the furniture while Marlene and Dorcas played games on the rug by the fire; Remus and her had decided to spend a relaxing afternoon in the library reading, much to Sirius’ annoyance. He had wanted to start a pick-up game of quidditch now that the pitch would be guaranteed empty, but ended up grabbing his broom and heading out solo.

Madam Pince scowled when Remus and her entered the deserted library, angry that her solitary literary oasis was now tainted by their smiling faces. Making a beeline for their preferred table in the corner of the second floor, she pulled out a few books and settled in across from Remus for a marathon reading session with her best friend, even sneaking in snacks from the kitchens so they wouldn’t have to leave for sustenance.

Hours passed, and she had become so engrossed in the book that she didn’t hear someone creeping up behind her.

“Christ—“ she jumped as Sirius pressed a kiss to her temple. Remus let out a low chuckle from across the table, having clearly seen his friend sneak up and chose to not warn her ahead of time.

She shook her head, “You both are pricks…”

“You love us though,” Sirius wrapped both arms around her shoulders and leaned closer to her ear, “Come with me, I have something to show you.”

Shutting the book and setting it on the table, she got up and followed him through the tall shelves towards the back of the library. The sections they began to pass became dustier and older, the light even beginning to fade the further they traveled.

“Siri, where are we going?” She whispered. He reached back and grabbed her hand, tugging her behind one of the shelves, kissing her deeply.

“Pince is going to catch us,” she said in between breaths, hands tangling in his dark hair.

Sirius smiled against her lips, “That’s half the fun.”

She was eternally grateful at the decision to wear a skirt that day, even more so that Sirius had the wherewithal to preemptively place a hand over her mouth before bending her over an ancient wooden desk. By the time they made their way back to where Remus was still sitting, the sun had set and she could already feel bruises forming on her hips.

———

The rest of the break was precisely what she wanted: a whole bunch of doing nothing. Just waking up and leisurely spending time with her best friends. Late one night close to the start of term, they were all strewn about the Gryffindor Common Room; some of them asleep in armchairs or on the floor, the rest just lounging and listening to music comfortably. She laid against Sirius sprawled on the couch, back pressed tightly to his chest as he ran a hand up and down her arm.

“What happens when it’s over?” She spoke softly, Sirius’ hand stilling against her skin.

“When what’s over, love?” The rumble of his voice vibrated against her bones.

“This…Hogwarts. What happens when we’re not together anymore?”

James smiled sadly at her from the armchair across the room, Lily tucked into his side as she slept. “We were uh…actually talking about getting a place together after school,” he looked down at the sleeping redhead lovingly.

“Jamie, that’s amazing,” she grinned at him from across the room. Though she was happy for her friends, a large part of her wanted nothing more than to stay this way forever, never going off and living separately and only seeing each other sporadically; as selfish and unpractical as that sounded.

“What about us?” Sirius muttered into her ear, resuming the comforting brush of his knuckles. She hummed up at him in question.

“We can get an apartment, maybe in London?” His blue eyes sparkled in the light of the fire. She sat up and looked at him properly, “Really? You’d want that?” Sirius nodded firmly.

“What if we went in on it together?” Her eyes tracked to Remus, sitting on the rug by the fireplace.

He gave her a sidelong glance, “I’m not going to be the third-wheel in that house, not with you two shaggin’ on every surface.”

She held out a hand towards him, wiggling her fingers dramatically, “Oh come on, Moony! You know I can’t live without you!”

Sirius chimed in beside her, “Yeah Moons, I promise we’ll only have sex in the kitchen once a month.” She elbowed him in the ribs.

“We can ask Pete too! It’ll be great, and James and Lily can come over for Sunday dinners,” she stared at her best friend hopefully, watching as his glare slowly melted into a reluctant smile.

“Fine, but only because I can’t live without you either…and I get first call on a bedroom.”

“Deal,” she smiled broadly, falling back against Sirius’ chest again, “We can start looking the week we get home from final term.”

———

January 28th, 1978

“The Order of the Phoenix,” James said proudly, standing in the center of the boys dormitory. The rest of them were lounging around the room on various beds, having chosen to use their room for this particular meeting that James had frantically called.

“James, I’m sorry, but what are you talking about?” She was trying to focus, but Remus was currently across the room sending her crude doodles in their shared sketchbook, trying to make her laugh. Sirius leaned over her shoulder to see, swiftly snatching the book and scrawling something particularly heinous (due to Remus’ immediate grimace upon receiving it).

“It’s a secret society that my parents are a part of, The Order of the Phoenix, Dumbledore started it a few years ago. There’s a bunch of members throughout Great Britain, and some abroad as well I think,” James’ eyes were glittering with excitement.

“A secret society? That’s like something from James Bond,” Mary raised her eyebrows from her spot on Peter’s bed. James gave her a puzzled look.

“Who’s James Bond?” Sirius cautiously muttered, afraid to ridiculed by the multiple muggleborns in the room.

She turned around to pat his cheek patronizingly, “It doesn’t matter darling.” He scowled at her sarcasm while Remus chuckled from his own bed.

“Anyway,” James continued, “they’re actively fighting against Voldemort and his supporters, doing reconnaissance and other shit to try and find out their next move, and stop them every chance they get.”

From behind her, Sirius sat up straighter, clearly intrigued at the notion of being on the front lines. “Don’t even think about it,” she whispered back at him.

He huffed an incredulously breath, “I’m going to join, you can’t possibly stop me.”

“I’d prefer to not have you in danger—“

“—there are people dying!”

“Don’t you think I understand that?” Her voice had raised too loud, the rest of the room falling silent as she stared at Sirius, “I can’t risk losing you, any of you…” she looked around the room at her friends. Lily met her eyes, the normal shade of emerald green dark and sad.

James spoke up first, “I uh…I’m already involved…”

Her heart stopped beating. “Jamie—“

“It’s not official or anything, I still have to swear an oath or whatever and my parents won’t let me do that until after we’re done school. But I’m allowed to be at the meetings, and my parents tell me more information…”

She shook her head in disbelief, “Why didn’t you tell us?” James rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, at the same time she felt Sirius shift on the bed behind her. It was Remus’ nervous throat clearing that tipped her off to the betrayal though.

“You all knew…didn’t you? The four of you?” Her eyes shot between Peter, James, Sirius, and Remus. None of which dared look back. “You all planned on joining…”

Sirius made the mistake of reaching for her arm, “Love—“

“Don’t fucking touch me,” she got up off the bed and stormed out of the room, slamming the door. She was halfway down the main corridor by the time Sirius caught up, grabbing her arm in protest.

“Leave me alone,” trying to wrench out of his grasp was futile, he was much stronger than her. He pulled her towards him, gripping her arms tightly as she looked everywhere except for his face.

“Please…” she mumbled.

“Look at me,” he tone was stern, eliciting an immediate reaction from her. When she met his eyes, they didn’t match his voice, instead they were soft and patient. “Talk to me, love. Why are you so upset?”

“You hid this from me! You all did!” She felt insane. From the betrayal by her friends, to the outburst she had in the bedroom, she felt like she was losing her mind a little bit. It’d been years since she’d felt insecure in her friendship with the boys, about feeling any bit left out or that she wasn’t wanted.

Sirius didn’t buy her excuse, “What’s the real problem, though?”

They stared at each other for a beat, his eyes searching hers for the truth. After a deep breath, she let her shoulders drop, “I’m afraid…”

“Of what, love?”

“…of losing any of you. This makes it more real.”

Sirius clicked his tongue, pulling her into a tight hug, “Nothing’s going to happen, we haven’t even officially joined yet. Even so, just because we’re part of the Order, doesn’t mean we’ll do any actual fighting.” She scoffed, “Sirius, I know you, and you would jump at the chance to be on the most dangerous missions.” His laugh was anything but reassuring.

They stood in the quiet corridor for a few minutes, locked in an embrace that she couldn’t bring herself to break. “Why didn’t you include me?” she whispered into his chest.

Sirius kissed the top of her head, “I figured you’d try and stop us. Better to ask for forgiveness than permission y’know.”

“I want to join, something all of you should’ve guessed.”

Sirius smirked, “If it’s any consolation, Moony did say you might want to be involved.”

“That’s because Remus knows me better than anyone else.”

He pulled back, feigning offense, “That’s a bloody lie and you know it!”

She raised an eyebrow in challenge, “Just because you’ve seen me at my most vulnerable, doesn't mean you know me entirely.” Sirius lifted her hand and kissed it, lacing their fingers together to walk back toward the dorm and their awaiting friends.

“Guess I’ll have to try harder, bee."

———

May 6th, 1978

The Order of the Phoenix wouldn’t pay the bills, a notion that didn’t seem to matter to people like James and Sirius who were worth more than any of them in galleons. But to the rest of them, finding a career after Hogwarts was at the forefront of their minds…at least for her it was. She’d known since her second year what she wanted to do, and she was determined to get a foot in the door. Applying to jobs at the Ministry of Magic required many steps, the first and foremost being receiving the proper O.W.L.’s and N.E.W.T.’s. She’d received Outstanding’s in Transfiguration, History of Magic, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Muggle Studies, Ancient Runes, and most importantly, Care of Magical Creatures. N.E.W.T.’s were being held at the end of the month, and she was practically tearing her hair out about it.

By day, she’d be in the library with Lily and Remus, the only other two that understood her determination. After revising for almost each waking hour, by night she would crawl silently beside Sirius in bed, where he’d coax her slowly (and thoroughly) into relaxation.

“You don’t have to stress so much, I have more than enough inheritance to support us both,” He said one night, propping his head up on a fist to look at her.

“It’s not about the money, Siri,” she ran a hand over his bare chest, marveling at the smoothness of his skin, “I want to help people. I’ve wanted to get into Werewolf Support Services for years, I’m not about to stop now when I’m so close.”

He leaned down to kiss her softly, “I love you, you’re the most incredible woman I know.”

She hummed contently into his lips, pulling him closer.

“I’ll be here with you no matter what, love,” he whispered, hand snaking between their bodies. She sighed at his touch, “Promise me.”

His fingers grazed her core, “Promise what?”

Holding her breath, she squirmed as he teased. “Tell me.”

She squeezed his bicep, pleading with him to give her what she wanted, “Promise you’ll always be here.”

He kissed her softly, touch finally landing where she needed him most, “I’m never going anywhere, love.”

———

June 10th, 1978

N.E.W.T.s were the following week, and at that point she wasn’t sure she’d eaten a proper meal, or even brushed her hair in days. Every waking moment was either spent revising, or working on her application for the Being Division of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. Remus (along with Professor Kettleburn and Madam Pomfrey) had written a letter of support to add to it, going to great lengths to convey her dedication to the advancement and care of those afflicted with Lycanthropy. She’d cried for a continuous hour after reading it.

The Friday before exam week, the entire group sat around the breakfast table, some chatting away about their excitement for the end of school, others (mainly herself, Remus, and Lily) were utterly silent. Unlike her other two exam-weary friends, she sat and picked at breakfast, not even bringing a crumb to her mouth.

“You need to eat,” Remus whispered into her ear, a piece of bacon in hand, “It’ll do you no good if you’re starving during exams.”

“I’m fine,” she grumbled, pushing the plate towards the center of the table, nauseous and irritable.

“Suit yourself,” Remus sighed, turning his attention to the person sitting on her other side, “Pads?”

Sirius looked over at his friend, then down at her picked-over plate. “Love…”

She gave Remus a glare, “You’re such a rat!“

“Oi, speaking of—“ he interjected as Peter rushed towards them, pink cheeked and out of breath.

“What’s up, Wormy?” James raised an eyebrow at him, “You look out of sorts.”

Pete slumped down beside him, exhaling loudly, “Filch took it!”

“Took what, mate?” Remus took another bite of bacon, watching his friend catch his breath. Peter cautiously looked down the table. “The map…” he whispered.

“Are you fuckin’ joking Wormtail?!” Sirius said loudly, causing Mary and Marlene to look up from a few seats away. She placed a hand on his arm in an effort to calm him down.

Peter threw up his hands, “I didn’t mean to!”

“What the fuck happened then?” Sirius gritted his teeth. Remus was tense beside her as well, having the ability to restrain his anger much better than most.

Peter took a deep breath, “I was using the map to check one of the passageways, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention, and the next thing I knew Filch had appeared and almost caught me trying to go behind the mirror on the fourth floor—“

“Why were you going through that passageway? Where were you headed?” She stared at her friend quizzically. That particular passage led to Hogsmeade, the secret tunnel being the largest of any they had found during their time at Hogwarts, big enough that it could hold a group of people. They never used it, finding it too conspicuous to be useful, utilizing the One-Eyed Witch tunnel to sneak into Honeyduke’s instead.

Peter didn’t meet her eyes when he opened his mouth to speak, Sirius instead cutting him off. “Who gives a shit what he was doing, that map was our legacy! And now what? Filch is going to get his grubby little hands on it and who knows what that weirdo is going to do with it!”

She looked at him sidelong, telling by his expression that he was being completely serious.

“I cleared it before he could take it,” Peter muttered, eyes still fixed on his lap, “He won’t be able to use it, unless he figures out the password.”

“Well thank fuck for that, Pete,” Sirius sneered, “I’m glad you decided to use your brain for once.”

Her head snapped to him, “What’s your problem? It was an accident.”

Sirius shook his head, “He always does this, he doesn’t think, and now look what’s happened.”

“It’s not that big of a deal, Pads,” James chastised, clapping a dejected Peter on the shoulder, “Now, I’m going to go let off steam on the pitch, I think a few of you could gain something by joining me.” He gave Sirius a pointed look, who in turn wrapped an arm around her waist.

“Come flying with me,” he nudged her gently, “it’ll make you feel better.”

She shook her head, annoyed at his outburst with Peter. “I’m going to keep revising, I’ll catch up with you later.”

James stood up, followed by Sirius. “C’mon Pete,” the former pulled their friend up by his arm, “You could use the fresh air too.”

She didn’t miss the eye roll Sirius gave as he bent down to kiss the top of her head. “Moony,” he called to Remus beside her, “makes sure she eats, please.” She didn’t respond or look up at him. “I love you,” he whispered before planting one last kiss to her temple and following the other two out the main doors. Her and Remus sat in comfortable silence for a bit, him continuing to eat while she ruminated on a multitude of thoughts that swirled around her head like a cyclone.

“Talk to me,” Remus muttered, never looking up from his plate, his tone giving no room for nonsense. After all these years, he was still the only one to clock her feelings before anyone else.

She sighed, “Peter’s been acting weird.”

Remus cocked an eyebrow at her, “We’re not talking about Sirius?”

“He’s my problem to deal with, I’m more concerned about the other one at the moment. Have you noticed anything?”

Remus thought on it for a moment, crunching another piece of bacon and then passing one to her, “I’ll only tell if you eat something.”

“Fucks sake,” she said under her breath, biting the piece of meat dramatically just for him.

Remus smiled a little as she chewed, “Pete’s been…different since his dad lost his job.”

“He didn’t say anything to me about that, when did it happen?”

Remus squinted in recollection, “Uh…summer of last year I think? He told us when we got back in September one night. His mum’s been under a lot of stress at work and now with this…Pete’s been trying to help however he can, that’s why he didn’t stay here with us for Christmas.”

She nodded, “Yeah I knew he wanted to spend time with his family, he just never specified.”

Remus hummed, “He hasn’t talked much about it to us either. He’s just been really irritable and has a hairpin trigger nowadays. You can imagine what it’s like sharing a room with him and Sirius…”

“Poor Pete,” she stared down at the plate of untouched food, “You’re not upset about the map, are you?”

Remus shook his head, “Nah, it was fun while it lasted. Won’t have much use for it after next month anyway. Better to have it here where maybe it’ll fall into the hands of some young troublemakers.”

“I hope whoever finds it makes Filch’s job a hell of a lot harder.”

Remus smiled, “Cheers to that.”

———

June 20th, 1978

It had to be some sort of joke. The parchment in her shaky hands fluttered slightly as she read and re-read each word over and and over, brain trying desperately to grasp the words. She inspected the handwriting, looked for any distinguishing marks or something that would give away the letter as being a prank from someone. She doubted anyone she knew would be cruel enough to joke like this.

We’re pleased to offer you a position as Undersecretary to the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures: Being Division, supporting the efforts of the Werewolf Support Services branch.

The sentence was practically burned into her retinas with the amount of times she’d read it. As the realization finally sunk in that this was in fact real life, she huffed out a disbelieving laugh to herself, spinning around in her dormitory trying to figure out her next move. There was only one person she wanted to talk to; one person that knew how badly she had wanted this.

———

Remus was lounging against his headboard reading a muggle novel when she burst through the door, eyes wide and breathing heavily from sprinting up the stairs. Every muscle in his body tensed as he sat up.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” He tried to keep his voice from giving away the panic flooding his veins. Every day the news was worse and worse, attacks getting closer and closer to home and people with more recognizable names dying on the regular. The anxiety was always there, lying in wait for the bomb to drop. Her eyes scanned his face for a moment, expression blank and neutral as she held up a letter.

“Love, what’s happened?” Remus stood up slowly, taking the piece of parchment from her, eyes flying over the words as his heart hammered away in his chest. He prayed it wasn’t her family, held his breath that the war hadn’t finally struck home.

“I…I got in…” she whispered.

Remus looked up from the paper, seeing the smile beginning to take shape on her face. All fear evaporated from his body as she beamed, eyes brimming with tears.

“I’ve officially been hired by Werewolf Support Services. I actually did it, Remus,” her voice broke as he reached for her, lifting her into a full-body hug. “I’m so proud of you,” he said into her hair, spinning around in the center of the room.

She clung to him, inhaling the familiar scent of her best friend. “I’m finally going to make a difference. I’m going to fix it, Moony.”

Remus buried his face in her neck, the love he had for her overflowing, “You’re going to do great. If anyone can do it, it’ll be you.” She squeezed him tighter, opening her mouth to say something as the dormitory door was kicked open.

“Oi! Hands off my girl.” Sirius leaned against the door frame, voice dripping with sarcasm, “Moony, we’ve talked about this. If you want a three-way, you just have to ask.”

Her and Remus groaned, pulling away from each other to give Sirius matching death glares. “Don’t be crass,” she pointed at him, “I have zero interest in having sex with any of my friends, thank you very much.”

Sirius cocked an eyebrow, “What happened between us then?”

She rolled her eyes, trying to hide a smile, “Oh get fucked, Black.”

“I’m trying to!” He threw his arms out. She ignored the comment entirely, holding out the letter for him instead.

“What’s this?” He took the parchment and skimmed the paragraph quickly. When he’d finished, his blue eyes shot to her in excitement.

“You got in,” he said.

“I got in,” she nodded with barely contained joy. Sirius grabbed her face, giggles erupting from her between kisses.

“I’m…so…proud…of…you!” punctuated each press of his lips to hers. His hands began to wander to her shoulders, then down and around her waist; the kisses that started out quick now becoming more heated.

“Moony,” Sirius purred as he placed a kiss against her jaw, “I need you to leave now.”

Remus sighed as he grabbed his forgotten book from atop the bed, “I’ll be in the library, please try not to break any of the furniture in here. I’ll see you both at dinner.” Sirius backed her onto the bed as the door shut.

“Mmmmm…I doubt it,” he purred as he knelt between her legs.

———

June 24, 1978

Sirius stroked a thumb down her ankle as she placed a kiss to his temple. Carried atop his back, she laughed as they made their way down towards Hogsmeade Station as a group, choosing to walk instead of using the carriages in the hopes of wringing out every last drop of time together. Behind them, Remus talked animatedly with Lily about a book they were both currently engrossed in, James’ arm casually slung over her shoulder as he pretended to listen intently. Ahead, Marlene, Mary, and Dorcas skipped about, the latter two loudly singing an Olivia Newton-John song they’d heard on the muggle radio. Peter walked beside her and Sirius, the two boys in deep conversation about the state of Puddlemere United, and whether or not they’d win a championship this year.

From the higher vantage point, she looked around; taking in the sight of her friends, listening to their voices, breathing in the warm Scottish air for the last time. James caught her gaze and smiled, and she knew he was soaking it all in too.

When they arrived at the station, Sirius set her down gently, kissing her once before boarding the train with James to find them a compartment. The rest of them filed in as younger students ran past, laughing and shouting about their summer plans. She paused at the railing of the platform, staring off across the Black Lake to the castle casting shadows over the dense forest beyond.

“It’s weird to know we won’t be coming back,” Remus leaned beside her, sweeping his eyes over the landscape, “doesn’t feel real.”

She hummed, “I can’t believe we’ll all never eat breakfast again as a dysfunctional, obnoxious family.”

Remus chuckled, “Or worry about getting caught out of bed after curfew.”

“Or try to wrangle the drunk dynamic duo after a quidditch win.” Memories surfaced of having to coax James and Sirius (both incredibly wasted) down from the rafters of Gryffindor Tower after a particularly raucous victory party last year.

“Oh that’s probably…definitely still going to happen,” Remus smiled.

She sighed, the sound filled with sadness but also excitement for the future, “I’m glad I got to spend these years with you, Remus. I’m glad we all found each other.”

He threw an arm around her shoulders as they stared at Hogwarts one final time, “I’m excited to spend the rest of my years with you degenerates as well.”

19 notes · View notes

ladyofthenoodle · 2 months

Text

WIP Reblog Game

thanks for the tag, @kasienda!

If you're like me and you have a million WIPs and are anxious about updating them, play this game!

List the titles your top five priorities for WIP updates (link your fics for new readers!)

An upcoming scene, event, or detail in each fic that you're looking forward to writing

Bonus: make a poll for your followers to vote on which top 5 WIP they are most excited to see an update on!

Then tag 10 writer friends!

My current top five WIP priorities (which are… the 5 wips i have posted, good job me keeping it at 5 😂):

part time soulmate full time problem

lies of attrition

we are the foxes

lead me up the staircase

all’s well chat ends well

What I'm excited about:

i’m super stuck on chapter 4 of this fic, but i’m excited to share the flashback of ladynoir breakup at the beginning of the chapter (that's already written)! and so excited to write the reveal for this one, if i can just get to it (or convince myself to write non-chronologically)

the next few chapters are @wackus-bonkus-maximus so i’m mostly excited to beta the scenes she has coming up. we have some new POVs coming into play the next couple chapters that i am so eager to see her write. and then when it’s my turn again we have an adrinette scene that i’m dying to dig into.

tbh this one is mostly on hiatus until part time soulmate is done and i’ve been trying not to think about it 🙈

yes it’s been more than a year since my last update but i LOVE the ending i have planned for this one

like everybody reading it, i’m probably most excited for when adrien finally gets an invite to the server…. but it’s so much fun keeping him out of it that i’m going to delay our satisfaction as long as possible 😉

Poll time!

No pressure tags:

@chocoluckchipz @bittersweetresilience @jattendschaton @anna-scribbles @cakemousse @sariahsue @mozzygan @marimbles @h-sunnywet-d @into-september

sorry if any of yall have been tagged already i'm doing my best

#tag game #only dreading the results of this poll a little bit

28 notes · View notes

spookymystery67 · 5 months

Text

I Wish I Could Walk In Heels

AN: Didn't have time to re-read this chapter today, so sorry if it sucks. But Ada is in it, so that's a plus. Anyways, enjoy.

TW: violence, language, ummm typical Resident Evil stuff, ect. I didn't re-read so sorry. By this point, most of you should know I suck at TW's. My apologies.

Chapter 9:

September 29, 1998-

"That's what you're wearing under that coat? And I thought the shoes were bad." You said in disbelief.

She had taken her trench coat off to cover Leon with it. She was wearing a pretty red dress that clung to her figure with spaghetti straps holding it up. It was gorgeous. But so impractical that it confused you on how she was just walking around and killing zombies in that.

"What? Do I look bad?" She asked sarcastically.

"You know very well you don't look bad. I was just surprised. Aren't you uncomfortable?" You asked.

"Not really. It's hot down here. If anything, you should be uncomfortable." She motioned toward your hoodie.

She was right. It was weirdly hot down here. But you didn't want to take off your hoodie. Bloodstains be damned. This hoodie has been your protection against zombie bites. You really don't want to leave any flesh bare at the moment.

"Yeah, I am. Thanks for noticing. Can we go now?"

"Hang on, I have to call in and update H.Q." she told you.

You waved her off and stood to the side, pretending not to hear the one sided conversation.

"I'm right outside of the facility, in pursuit of Annette …. If it's not on her. It must be in the NEST…. I have someone that can lead me to it." She briefly glanced at you, before looking away.

"Once it's in hand, I'll call for extraction." She finished, putting the radio away.

"Ready?" She asked. You glanced at Leon before nodding. "You can run, Annette. But you can't hide." She muttered.

"Alright. So doors a bust. But a vent leading toward the NEST is this way." You said, glancing at your map.

"After you." Ada said.

You both make it to the vent and you tilted your head in thought. How do you get past the giant fan?

"Any ideas on how to get in there?" You asked her.

"I may have one." Ada said as she grabbed a gadget from her purse thing wrapped around her left shoulder. Holster? It held her gun too.

She aimed and held the button, making the fan spin faster and faster, until it exploded and broke, giving us room to get through it. You gapped in disbelief. Who makes this stuff?

"Candy from a baby." Ada said smugly.

"Huh. I want one." You joked.

"In your dreams." She smirked, tucking it back in her holster and climbing up the ladder.

You climbed up after her and the two of you made your way through the long-winding tunnel.

"So, the plan is to get to Annette, see if she has the G-virus, and if she doesn't, go search the labs?" You asked.

Ada nodded. "She would have moved any virus sample left over the week. Which means it's best to get her to tell us directly so we wouldn't have to search the whole lab. But we will if necessary."

"Okay, but what is the FBI going to use the G-virus for?"

"Evidence."

"Couldn't you just take pictures of the underground lab that we are currently standing in? Or take the files? Or look at the city above us and see all the zombies walking around? Is that not enough?"

"It's more complicated than that." Ada snapped, done with that conversation.

The more you think about the things Ada had said, the more it doesn't make sense. Why would the FBI specifically need the G-virus? Why not any of the others? Plus, wouldn't the files laying around the entire lab be enough evidence to take down Umbrella? The emails exchanged between employees? Were you just overthinking it?

You and Ada reached the end of the vent. She used her device to make the fan spin and explode. Once the exit was clear, you climbed down. Neither of you knew exactly where to find Annette, so you just continued to make your way deeper into the NEST toward the lab. You were carefully avoiding zombies here and there as you went.

You'll see what you encounter first. The lab or Annette.

As you finished that thought, you paused in a hallway when you saw the Tyrant standing there, coming out of nowhere, and slowly marching toward you both.

"How the hell did it survive?" You asked as you and Ada quickly ducked and ran around the creature, continuing in the direction you were heading before.

"I'm not sure. Let's just keep going, but at a much faster pace." Ada said.

So that's what you did. Running through the maze of vents and halls, deeper and deeper into the NEST.

You and Ada went through a doorway and onto a catwalk. You ran across the catwalk and made it to a small elevator that would take you up a floor to the next catwalk. As you went down the catwalk, you saw Annette in another room through a glass window that was likely used for observations of some kind.

"Got you now." Ada said, both running through the door to the direction that Annette was just seen. "Always been good at running, Annette. I'll give you that."

Ada must know more about Annette Birkin than you did. It sounded like they had interacted in the past. You wondered what happened in those moments that garnered such hatred between the two.

Ada began using her fancy hacking gadget to unlock the door when you heard the familiar stomps of the Tyrant. You really hated those things with a burning passion.

"Ugh." You huffed.

"Persistent bastard, aren't you?" Ada snarked.

She quickly switches something around with her gadget and pulls the lever, finally getting the door to open. Just in time as the Tyrant was right behind you.

You ducked into the room quickly, avoiding a hit from the Tyrant. You don't see Annette.

"Try to avoid him while I get this vent opened." Ada explained.

"Sounds like a plan." You agreed.

Ada quickly got the fan to come off, but the vent didn't fully open. You huffed and slid through the gaps and Ada followed soon after as the Tyrant went to grab her. You landed on your feet, but fumbled and tripped as you lost your balance, making you land roughly on your bruised and scraped knees that haven't really had the chance to heal the last few days..

"Fuck!" You huffed as you slowly pushed yourself to your feet. "That was close."

"Yeah. I don't think we're in the clear." Ada said, glancing over your figure as she saw you wince in pain. She raised a brow in silent question, but you just waved her off. You'll survive.

You both ran down the hall and up a set of stairs toward the direction you think Annette had gone. You approached a locked sliding door that you realized you needed a pass to get through.

You glanced at Ada. "That thing wouldn't happen to work on this door, would it?"

"Sadly, no. Let's look around."

Looking around, you came across a room with something shining at the bottom. Could be useful.

"Hey, maybe this is something." You said as you walked down the slanted floor to grab the item from the floor. It was a pass on a wristband.

"That's exactly what we needed. Good job." Ada praised. You couldn't help but smile slightly as you handed her the pass. Feeling slightly awkward, you looked at your surroundings and away from Ada.

The room was slanted, like it was on a hill. Charred remains lie on the floor. And- Oh. Wait.

"This is the furnace room." You deadpanned. This was a trap.

"Looks like it." Ada hummed, realizing what you had.

"We should-" you motioned to the exit.

"Yeah." Ada nodded in agreement. You both began to make your way out, but the large metal doors to your exit slid down quickly, locking you in. A metal slot slid open, showing Annette's face.

"Bravo. Gonna burn us alive now?" Ada deadpanned.

"You'll never get your filthy hands on the G." Annette said. Her eyes moved to you. "And you. Just passing through?" She asked sarcastically.

You shrugged sheepishly and huffed an uncomfortable laugh. "Well, uh, things changed."

"You want the G too? Or did she trick you into working with her? She's good at that." Annette said.

"I'm not the only one after it. You realize that." Ada said, changing the subject.

"Then you won't die alone." Annette said, she looked at you. "You shouldn't have decided to work with her." She told you as she shut the metal slot, the furnace was activated seconds later.

Ada quickly began to do her thing with the device as the room got hotter and hotter in the span of seconds as fire burned at your feet.

"Hey, Ada? I don't mean to rush you but I don't really feel like being burned alive at the moment." You nervously said.

"Almost there." Ada reassured, sweat began to form on the both of you. The heat felt a hundred times more intense thanks to your thick hoodie that was meant for the cold and bitter air above ground.

She finally got the door to explode and you both quickly ran out of the room. You turned back and saw the furnace room had stopped working. Good riddance.

"That bitch knows what she's doing." Ada admitted.

We walked to the door that needed a pass, and it immediately opened.

"Visitor clearance confirmed. Your ID is authorized until OCTOBER FIRST. Please return before this date." A computer voice said.

"Not gonna happen." Ada said. You finally took off your jacket revealing your dark purple t-shirt, and discarded it. It was covered in blood and mud stains anyways. It was time to let it go.

"Finally gave up on it?" Ada asked as you both ran down the hall.

"It was too far gone. There was no saving it. Plus, it's really hot here."

Once again you appeared on another catwalk and ran in the direction you thought Annette went. The large room seemed to be some kind of indoor junk yard. You both paused when a spot light turned on a ways away in front of you.

"Enough, with this cat a mouse game." Ada demanded, glancing over to the window of the control room where Annette stood. She was as tired of this bullshit as you were.

"The game is over. You lost." Annette said.

"Tell me, is your husband still alive? Or did you kill him? So you could take credit for G." Ada asked.

"Interesting theory. What, did she not tell you?" Annette asked, pointing to you as she began pressing buttons and activating something. "Your new friend was there. Didn't she mention it?"

You looked around nervously as mechanisms began to hum to life. Maybe you should move.

"You don't cooperate, I'll get a sample from the NEST." Ada said simply.

"Over my dead body." Annette snarled, activating a lever.

You quickly jumped to the ledge just outside of the path of the giant, metallic claw that was swept across the catwalk. Ada wasn't as lucky in avoiding it as you were. She grasped at the safety bars, attempting to prevent her fall, but the bars fell apart from the damage to the catwalk the claw had caused.

You gasped as she fell with a scream and ran to the edge of the catwalk. You looked down the debris filled room to see a glimmer of red. You heard her yell in pain.

Yay. She's not dead.

"Ada? You okay?" You shouted.

"Uh, no!" She yelled back. You sighed as you began to look for a ways down.

"Hang on, I'll find a way down." You told her as you glanced at the control room. Annette was still there.

"She's not who you think she is. You know that right?" Annette asked you.

"Maybe. But I'm not just gonna leave her there." You said as you made your way to a ladder leading down towards the metallic junk.

"It won't matter in the end. You'll both die before ever leaving NEST." Annette said, making you pause at the ladder.

"What makes you say that?" You questioned hesitantly, not sure if you wanted to hear the answer.

"William." Annette simply said as she walked off. You heard a distant, loud, roar and a shiver ran down your spine. Right. William.

"Fucking shit. I forgot about him." You muttered as you climbed down the ladder. You have been lucky enough not to cross paths with the mutated William. You suppose your luck would run out soon.

You reached the floor and set off to the direction Ada was laying. You walked around a pile of debris and saw Ada laying on the ground. A piece of sharp metal was lodged into her leg.

"Oh. Yeah, I can see how you're not okay." You said as you kneeled beside her and took your bag off to grab the first aid kit.

"Yeah? What gave it away?" Ada snarked.

"Hmm, well the scream of pain kinda rang some alarm bells. But hey. It could have been worse. You could have been impaled by that." You said, pointing to the large piece of metal not too far from where she landed. Big enough to impale her torso.

Ada shivered when she followed your pointed finger. "Yeah. This I prefer." She sat up, careful not to disturb her injury.

"Me too. I've been traumatized enough, thank you." You said, reaching into the med kit to grab the gauze, bandages, and medical tape. "Do we disinfect the wound when we pull that out?" You weren't sure how to treat stab wounds.

"Yes. I don't want an infection." She grabbed the kit and looked through what you had. "This will do." She handed you the bottle of disinfectant from the kit. "Here, I can bandage myself up. You can pull the shrapnel out."

"C- can we switch jobs?" You asked, not really wanting to hurt her.

"I can't pull it out. And I can't walk like this." Ada sighed.

You hesitated, hand drawing closer to the shrapnel. "I don't really want to hurt you."

"You killed a man not that long ago. You can pull out some shrapnel." She deadpanned.

You flinched, but tried to ignore the comment. "Yeah, well, he was an asshole. Which you are kind of being right now. But you're in pain, so I'll allow it." You weakly joked, hand hovering over the metal.

"Thanks." She snorted.

"Just this once though." You said as you quickly pulled the metal out of her leg.

"Bitch!" Ada yelled in pain, irritated with the lack of warning. You tried not to laugh. It wasn't funny. She's in pain.

Eh, it was kind of funny.

"I deserve that." You said as you grabbed the bottle of disinfectant and bandages from her.

"You do. I can patch myself up." Ada said grumpily, grunting in pain every now and then. She moved to take the bandage away but you slapped her wrist away.

"Just stay still and shut up." You demanded.

"Wow. You have wonderful bedside manners." She sarcastically stated.

"Yeah, and my parents wanted me to be a doctor." You laughed. You? A doctor? Yeah right.

Ada actually chuckled at the thought. "I haven't even known you a day and even I know that you would have been a terrible doctor."

"I fully agree. But, look at how well I just patched you up." You grinned, proud of your work.

Ada examined the wound. "Well, I'm not bleeding out. So good job, Y/n."

"Careful. You almost sounded grateful. It will ruin your badass FBI persona."

"You're right, we can't have that." Ada snarked back.

You changed your position from sitting on your knees to sitting with your legs crossed in front of you. Ada sat across from you.

"So, want to try walking around? Or do you want to wait for Leon to inevitably show up. He's probably already up and looking for us." You said.

Ada thought for a moment. "Let's wait for him. We're gonna need his help with finding the G."

"Alright. You're the boss." You shrugged.

"Oh, am I now?" She asked.

"Well you know more about this covert mission stuff than I do."

"I don't know, you seemed to have held your own before I even got here. You got into the NEST before I did. Even got past Annette…" She complimented before trailing off. "And you know what happened to her husband, William?" Ada asked curiously.

You sighed and nodded. "Trying to butter me up for information? All you have to do is ask, Ada."

"Alright. What happened? Did you see?"

"Unfortunately. He was cornered by some men in combat gear. They were after the G, which seems to be the common theme for the past few days…" Your voice faded as your thoughts overcame your mind.

"And?" Ada urged.

"And he decided that, rather than let them get away with it and die from his gunshot wounds, he should inject himself with the G-virus instead. So, we might encounter a mutated William Birkin while down here. Have that to look forward to." You weakly stated as you fiddled with a piece of metal, eyes gazing into the distance.

"So he caused this outbreak? Not Annette?"

"From what I've seen. Yes. William did start this. Although Annette clearly had a part in it too. My guess is that the men in combat gear didn't get too far. Must have somehow spread in the chaos."

"Hmm. Possibly. Thank you. For telling me." Ada said.

"You'd find out one way or another. Not that it matters much to your mission."

"No. But it is nice to know. I like to get to know everything I can. So I won't go in blind." Ada told you.

"That makes sense. I did the same thing before coming here. I was still unprepared. Nearly got lost because I didn't snag a map."

"How did you get out?"

"Annette, actually. She helped me out."

"She just, let you go? That doesn't sound like her."

"Well I obviously didn't tell her that I was investigating Umbrella and stealing information to show everyone how sketchy the company is. I think she had more important things to deal with than some girl that one of the scientists snuck in."

Ada goes to respond, but is interrupted by a familiar voice. "Ada? Y/n? Where are you?"

"Over here!" Ada yelled.

Leon came running around the corner. "There you two are. I was getting worried there for a sec."

"We were waiting for you, slow poke." You teased.

Leon huffed a laugh. "What happened?" He asked, gesturing to the wound on Ada's leg.

"I fell." Ada deadpanned.

"More like you got thrown off the platform, but yeah." You muttered. She threw you a half-hearted glare and you raised your hands in mock surrender.

"So, what now?" Leon asked.

"Get yourself out of here. While you still can." Ada said.

You raised a brow. She made you wait for him, claiming that he could help with finding the G-virus, and now she wants him to leave. What? What's her play here?

"I'm not just gonna leave you. Not like this." Leon told her.

"You don't understand. The situation is worse than I thought." Ada said, almost helplessly.

Pathetically.

She was not like this just moments ago. What's her play- Oh. She knows Leon's type. The knight in shining armor. She wants to use that to her advantage. She knows he won't leave her. Funny, you almost forgot that this was the same person who would have left you for dead in that cell if you weren't useful to her mission. You shouldn't have been so surprised. You shouldn't have let your guard down. You were an idiot.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily. You protected me. Now it's my turn." Leon said. You stood and crossed your arms, watching the scene from a distance.

"Didn't realize we were keeping score." Ada joked, referencing earlier. Leon helped her up.

"Grab my shoulder." Leon said.

"Don't push it rookie." Ada defended, slapping his hand away.

"Okay. Just trying to help." Leon said.

"You wanna help? We have to get to the NEST."

"NEST?"

"Umbrella's lab, remember? Right beneath us. That's where the virus samples are. You up for this?"

"Think I can fit it in my schedule."

You sighed and groaned loudly. "Alright, I've seen enough. Let's go love birds. Watch your step, Ada." You turned to walk ahead to the exit.

"Why are you in such a hurry?" Leon asked, following behind you and a limping Ada.

"I've been in this situation for a week now, Leon. I want to get this shit show over with and get the hell out of here. And I can only do that after I uphold my end of the bargain." You said, leading them toward the direction of the cable car.

"Even though we failed to save your friends?" Leon questioned. You paused in your step and shut your eyes in frustration.

"Why do you both keep bringing them up? How am I supposed to move on when you're just reminding me of my dead friends every five minutes. Stay out of my business and I'll stay out of yours." You snapped. They just kept prying, and you were over it.

"Woah, okay. I shouldn't have brought them up. I am sorry, though, about your friends." Leon said, face looking like a kicked puppy once more. How are you supposed to be angry at him when he looked at you like that? Damn your soft heart.

"Sure you are. You didn't know them. To the both of you, they're just two more faces of the thousands of dead that you've already forgotten. So please, focus on this mission so we can all go our separate ways when it's over. And hopefully never see each other again." You told them.

You were over it. Over the fake sympathies and Umbrella and this entire city. You're tired. You didn't want to do this anymore.

"The cable car will take us further down to NEST. This wristband is our ticket to ride." Ada gestured to her wrist, breaking the silence.

"Nice. Where'd you get that?" Leon asked.

"Y/n found it."

"You're welcome." You said dryly.

"Anyway, we're almost there." Ada told him as she limped after you.

You walked through a door and held it open, Ada and Leon walked through. Or in Ada's case, limped.

She folds over in pain. "Ugh, this damn leg."

"Let me carry you." Leon insisted.

She shook her head. "No. That'd only make me feel worse. How's the shoulder?"

"Worse than it looks." He brushed off.

"What a pair. Both got one foot in the grave." Ada snarked.

You finally made it to the cable car door. "Here we are." You said.

Ada limped forward and used the wrist band to unlock the door. It unlocked and you walked in, immediately going to sit on one of the benches, not bothering to even try and figure out how to work the cable car. Ada sat on a bench further down the cable car, which was slanted and had stairs for some reason. Interesting design choice.

"This may be a one way ride. So be prepared, you two." Ada warned.

"Not like I have a choice. Unless you're giving me the option to leave too?" You asked for across the car.

Ada shook her head. "We'll need you, Y/n. You know where to find the G. Or, at least, where to start."

Oh, so Leon got a choice and you don't? You doubted she needed you. You really did. So why was she keeping you here? What could you possibly add to the mission?

Leon started the cable car and it began its descent further into the NEST.

"This tram is bound for NEST. Do not exit until the final destination." A computer voice said.

"You know what I was thinking? I can't wait for the FBI to raid Umbrella headquarters and take those bastards to justice." Leon said.

Yeah, if only.

"I agree… But to be clear, you're not working in official capacity. This is a federal case. Once we get the G-virus, I'm back on my own." Ada told him.

Leon seemed a bit annoyed by this and turned around to look away. You couldn't really tell what he was thinking.

"Hey, Leon. Trust me?" Ada asked.

He walked up the stairs toward her. "You trust me?"

Ada huffed a laugh. "Honestly… If I didn't you'd probably be dead."

"Right." Leon scoffed.

"What about you, Y/n?" She asked, taking your attention from looking out the windows.

"What about me?" You asked, not really paying attention to the conversation.

"Do you trust me? Trust us?" Ada repeated.

You looked at her and Leon, pausing for a moment, before shaking your head. "No."

"No?" Leon questioned, confused and curious.

"No." You repeated. "I barely know you both. We've been together for five, maybe six hours. I don't trust that easily. Especially strangers."

"Smart. I don't blame you for that. But for this to work, I need you to trust us. Trust me." Ada tried.

You hummed. "Yeah, well, I'll try not to ruin your plans. How about that?"

You could meet in the middle and work together, but trust? That's a stretch. It's a lot to ask for. You've been disappointed and betrayed by those you've trusted before. In return you've always been careful when it comes to that. Hell, it took a couple weeks before you even fully trusted Ben. Especially when he started dating Katherine.

A pang in your heart. No. Don't think about them. Survive now, grieve later.

"Why don't you trust us? We've saved your life." Leon said.

"Yes. And I thank you for that. But in case you've forgotten, which I haven't, you also threatened to leave me for dead in that cell with Ben's body if I didn't cooperate. Not exactly a good first impression."

Ada nodded in reluctant understanding. "Look, I thought I might need yours and Y/n's help… and I was right. If you both can secure the G-virus I can make sure what happened in Raccoon City never happens again."

Leon sits next to her. "Ada. You said it yourself. It's a federal case. I don't have the authority-"

"Look at me." Ada interrupted. Leon went silent and she huffed. "I'm a liability now. If I'm gonna finish this case, you both are the last hope I've got."

Ah, so that was her plan. Make us do her dirty work.

Leon looked conflicted. "I'm not just gonna leave you here. What if you're attacked? What if you need help-"

Ada kisses Leon. She kisses him. For a good few seconds. You grimaced and turned to look out the windows, never a fan of PDA.

Didn't they just meet each other? Must be another manipulation tactic. Kiss the man to shut him up and get him to listen.

"I'll be fine. Don't worry about me. I gotta see this through. And I want to see you again." She placed a hand on his thigh. "I got plenty to live for. Trust me."

Is that flirting? Is she flirting?

Really fucking awkward. Oh wow, look at that. The building structure is amazing. You could give Umbrella a point for cool underground labs. That leaves them at -99.

"Now arriving at NEST." The computer voice said.

"Go. Please. We don't have much time. You're gonna need this." She took off the wrist band and gave it to Leon.

"Okay." Leon said, ready to be the hero. "You coming, Y/n?" Leon asked you.

You glanced at Ada and saw her look at you pleadingly. You rolled your eyes and walked over to her.

"Fine. I'll do your dirty work for you, seeing as you're incapable at the moment. But after this, I don't want to see you ever again. I don't really appreciate being manipulated." You said quietly, so Leon wouldn't hear from the doorway.

"I haven't been manipulating you-" Ada started.

"You have. And Leon too. You know it." You shrugged. "It's fine. I'll get you your G-virus. I just better not find out it has landed in the wrong hands because of you. I really don't want a repeat of Raccoon City, Ada. I don't want to have a part in that again. You can understand that, can you?" You questioned.

"I understand. You can trust me, Y/n." Ada said.

You looked her in the eye and studied her face. You were conflicted. It was odd. Every single part of you wanted to trust her, but you knew you couldn't. That you shouldn't.

"We'll see. Stay safe, Ada." You said as you turned and walked away from her.

"I'm counting on you both." Ada said.

"I know." Leon responded. You just went out, not wanting to stay there anymore.

Time to go get the G-virus.

#ada wong #resident evil #ada wong x reader #resident evil x reader #claire redfield #jill valentine #leon kennedy #idk what else to tag #raccoon city

20 notes · View notes

whatiwillsay · 8 months

Text

🚨SURPRISE IT'S LISTENER APPRECIATION WEEK🚨

Good morning WIWS Nation, I'm excited to announce today is the launch of our second annual listener appreciation week!

"What is listener appreciation week?" you might ask. As a sign of my undying appreciation to the listeners of this podcast and members of the WIWS community, I like to do a surprise week once a year or so to flood you guys with TONS of extra content and other fun promotions during the week! I am so immensely grateful that you guys have enabled me to foster such a wonderful space for nosy gays that sometimes I just have to show you guys with a big bang! Here are some details you need to know!

First things first! I am opening up the Secret Sessions Discord to Ashley Avignone Patrons and up for the week! We have had to close it due to some trolling for the past six months and it's getting so big keeping it safely modded has become a bit of a concern. But we're going to open it to Ashley+ Patrons for the next week and let you guys get grandfathered into it before we close it for a while to keep the size of it under control. It *will* probably be opened up again sometime in the future but it may be only open to higher tiers to again keep the population under control and able to be safely modded. If you want to join it during this special open period simply link your Patreon account to Discord by following these directions.

Secondly HUGE FUCKING ANNOUNCEMENT! Not to bury the lead sorry I didn't want anyone to miss the discord announcement BUT ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND GABRIELLA ARE STARTING A PODCAST AND IT LAUNCHES TODAY! It's called Stay at Home Girlfriends and it's a podcast where you can listen in to get advice from your cool gay aunties! Episode 1 is up NOW and you can listen on Spotify! (More apps coming soon)

and follow our socials here:

Instagram

Tiktok

Tumblr

OK BUT FOR REAL THOUGH HERE'S THE AMAZING CONTENT SCHEDULE FOR THE WEEK!

Sunday, August 27th (LIVE NOW!) - Cara joins me on the Patreon for a State of the Gaylor Union. We catch up on all the latest Taylor news including some more convo about Karlie at the Eras Tour, the latest Toe gossip we've heard, and go through all the ships with a brief update on how we feel about them.

Monday, August 28th (LIVE NOW!) - Gabriella joins me on the main pod to go through my original Swiftgron master post! That's right! All this week and into the next couple weeks we'll be covering the best timeline of them all!

AND (LIVE NOW!) Gabriella also joins me on Patreon to do a juicy oversharing Q&A about our relationship!

Tuesday, August 29th - Torry from Ready to be Petty joins me on the Patreon to deep dive into the dark world of Jon & Kate Plus 8!

Wednesday, August 30th - Gabbie joins me again on the main pod to continue our trek through the Swiftgron Timeline!

Thursday, August 31st - Jenna from Date Card Pod joins me on Patreon to catch up on pop culture and check in and see how we're doing with our 2023 pop culture predictions and 2023 resolutions!

Friday, September 1st - Gabbie joins me again on the main pod for more Swiftgron Timeline goodness!

Saturday, September 2nd - Shannon from Fluently Forward joins me on Patreon to catch up on Taylor, Gaylor, and pop culture hot takes!

Sunday, September 3rd - The discord community will remain linked to the Patreon until midnight on this day!

I hope y'all are as excited as I am for THREE main pod episodes and FIVE Patreon episodes this week!!! And I genuinely, truly hope you guys feel the love from me! We have our ups and downs and nobody is perfect, certainly not me. But that doesn't stop me from being SO HUGELY AND IRREVOCABLY GRATEFUL, THANKFUL, AND APPRECIATIVE to all of you for being a part of this weird but amazing little Evidence Based Gossip community!

Remember! You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection. 💙

#swiftgron #gaylor swift #dianna agron #kaylor #taylor swift #gaylor #podcast #gossip #jon & kate plus 8 #pop culture #pop #pop music #advice

29 notes · View notes

nurseysbeanie · 8 months

Text

Madison & More Bingo 🏖🏕🏝

Here are some of my fave (so far) fics and art from the @madisonandmore summer prompt challenge!

Well, the start of September makes it feel like summer is fading. But don't worry, fearless reader! These summery fanfics will make you feel the sun on your face, the sand under your feet, and the scent of fresh-cut grass on the breeze!

Unnameable Truth (M) @thefiveboxingwizards | vacation, less than 5000 words, one-shot

I liked that this was a less sunny/happy/vacation-y story about repression and self-discovery. The summer's not happy and carefree for everyone. But there is hope at the end of this one.

Wasteland Baby (M) @checkdeezpucks | AU, one-shot

This surprised me! Despite the premise sounding a bit incongruous with Check Please, this was a great read. Mad Max Tater/Parse was a longshot for me but you proved me wrong, op. Would definitely not be mad if we got another chapter or two of this 👀

Hot-lanta (G) @justlookfrightened | Zimbits, vacation, one-shot

I keep thinking about this one, and Bitty/Jack's meet-cute and Bitty rollerblading. And quiches. And Tater being wingman!

suddenly this summer it's clear (T) @dessertwaffles | favourite ship, a work that made me laugh, one-shot

I actually snorted out loud while reading this standing out on the sidewalk in a crowd of people while waiting for the streetcar. I have no shame. It's funny and cute, read it!

like an ice cream cone (T) @wrathofthestag | SHITTY KNIGHT!!, food or baking, one-shot

Shitty's backstory is important to me (!!!) and this was great. Discussion question: Is the origin of Shitty's porn-stache tied to the memory of a moustachioed ice cream vendor he idolizes from his youth? You tell me. It was hard to see tiny Shitty going through family problems but his au pair seems like the coolest!

amphibious creatures (T) HowOldAreWe | fave ship, mermaids, frogs 🐸 , multi-chapter

I don't generally go for mermaid AUs but this was juuuust lovely! The frogs are wonderful here, and I really liked the setup and follow-through. And I'm not going to say any more than that Chowder makes a great appearance here :)

Making My Head Spin (E) @justlookfrightened | summer camp, zimbits, multi-chapter

Turns out I like fics where Bitty makes a go of it for the NHL! Loved seeing Jack and Bitty letting down their guard and risking being hurt in this one. Super sweet and a little spicy at the end :) Nothing better than that.

Heard The Mermaids Singing (M) @checkdeezpucks | rarepair, mermaids, one-shot

This was another work that wasn't sun-drenched and happy. I loved to see the gritty, almost gothic setting; loved to see some CP femmeslash. Loved to see the teeth and the texture here. Short and... piquant.

The Way Way North (T) by @mcbangle | zimbits, SHITTY KNIGHT!!, vacation, the beach, work that made me smile, frogs, multi-chapter

I keep thinking about this one. Listen, Shitty Knight is... essential. He is the GLUE that holds together CP Year One for me, okay? I know that this fic is primarily about Bitty and his parents' relationship, and his crush on Jack, and that is all done deftly and wonderfully. But Shitty is the standout for me here. (Also I now need to see the movie this is based on.)

Eelgrass (T) by @perhapsajacket | fave ship, the beach, vacation, multi-chapter (pending)

Just a nice AU where Dex is ho-humming through his vacation until he chances upon the cute local bookshop owner (enter Nursey) who has fallen into a tidepool and needs a hand. What could be more adorable than that? I liked seeing some of Dex's family and backstory here. And I would live to see more 👀

Cowabunga (G) @zimbits-my-love | art, surfing, the beach

This is super cute art and I loved the colour scheme. I can so imagine Bitty and Jack surfing together on vacation!

This was a fun summer challenge, thanks to all the organizers! I will be updating my own work, Summer Gothic, soon with a new chapter. (Sorry, I write slow. 🐌)

#madison&more #omgcheckplease #omgcp #fanfiction #fanfic #fanfic rec #recc

20 notes · View notes

mikithelibrarian · 1 year

Note

Hey! Can request a reader × Lisoo plot, wherein, Lisoo are called to the army station regarding their spouse. They are worried sick and imagine the worst possible scenarios that might have happened to their spouse, since y/n works as a army general. But, upon reaching they see their spouse with a baby, peacefully sleeping on their chest and are informed that Y/N has agreed to foster the baby who's a war refuge. But this is one of the foster fail stories, where they adopt the baby as their own in the end, not able to get separated from the baby. ( Angst with happy ending).

P.S I love your works and it helps my body to pump more happy hormones in my system. 😇

Love,

Won´t Leave You - Poly! BLACKPINK Lisoo - GN! Reader

Angst/Fluff

First of all, I'm so sorry about not updating anything in months. Life was just too much and whatever time I could dedicate to writing, the inspiration wouldn't flow as normal, and I didn't want to release something just because I had to.

Anyways, here's your request! I'm very glad you liked my works (And I hope you still do since this request was made around September...)

Anyways, and as some side notes; I've seen other writers put like a list of specific anons, naming them with emojis and stuff, should I open one and call you Captains instead of anons?

And of course, I will still update It Takes Two and AUs.

Extra Note: In this story, we’ll jump a little bit into the future. Jisoo and you will be around 35 years old, while Lisa is 33.

TW: Mentions of war, little bit of strong language (?)

Added code: (Y/CN) - Your Child’s Name (I made your baby gender neutral too, for you to choose what you wanted)

And as another extra note, while I investigated about military ranks and adoption processes, I wasn’t realistic about them in the story, not wanting to over complicate the story legal terms and all that stuff.

Now, onto the reading!

When fate decides to unite different souls, it's difficult to refuse its calling

When they were called to the army base, they expected the worst, and the fact that you took a trip to the front lines to supervise everything didn’t help their nerves. It even came to a point that Lisa started shaking a little bit, crying in the van from time to time, she couldn’t lose you, both of them couldn’t lose you.

Now, imagine their surprise when they saw you there, at your office, asleep on your chair, and with a little baby sleeping on your chest as you leaned backwards. “General (L/N) is very tired as you see” The soldier that escorted them to your office whispered. “But after what they did, I guess they deserved this and months of vacation”

“What did (Y/N) do?” Jisoo asked in a low voice and with a confused tone as she only thought you were there to supervise some things, ‘just a routinary task’ you said.

“The General coordinated our last military operation, we won because of it”

Jisoo and Lisa didn’t seem amused by this new information, but before proceeding to kill you, there was another matter to attend.

“And who is that kid?” Lisa questioned.

“I actually don’t know a lot about the story” The soldier answered “I should let you discuss that privately, I’m afraid I’ve said more than what I should have, if you’ll excuse me”

As soon as the soldier exited the room, Lisa and Jisoo looked at each other and then back at you, debating if they should kill you or praise you, because: number one, you lied to them; number two, you came unharmed and with a victory in your hand; three, you apparently saved a baby and four, you kept the child without at least asking if they’d agree, although, considering you were in, this last point they could look over.

Jisoo walked towards you, while Lisa stayed in her place, and gently shook your shoulder, waking you up after some seconds. You slowly opened your eyes, still feeling your body as if you are carrying a ton of weight, but as soon as you saw the beautiful face of one of your girlfriends, all of it just vanished away… up until you noticed the frown in her face and knew you were lowkey screwed.

Then, you noticed your other girlfriend, Lisa, standing just a few steps away with her arms crossed.

Now… You’ve seen the face of death, met her in the eye and drank a coffee with her as you tell her all about your military career; you’ve been at the wrong side of a gun barrel and saw your life through the inside of a rifle up until it ended on the dim shine of the bullet just at the bottom of it… But nothing could beat the angry face of your partners.

At that sight, you whispered whatever defense you could think of. “Before you think about killing me, I have a baby in my arms who has already taken a liking towards me” None of them talked back at you, making your nerves to skyrocket. “Look, I lied, I actually…”

“We know” Lisa interrupted you. “Let’s discuss this at home” Jisoo nodded, and you sighed, already carefully planning how you could win their forgiveness.

“Start” Jisoo instructed you. The three of you at your dining room, both of your girlfriends across you as if they were judging you in a court, all while the baby was still asleep in your room.

“I was called by my superiors to coordinate the last advance of our army, it was an order, not a request. I lied because I knew how risky it was and I preferred that, if I died, you would just know about it all at once instead of torturing for weeks, making you wonder if I’d return alive or not” You put your hands together on the table, nailing your eyes on them, refusing to the meet the couple of stares in front of you. “I was wrong, I know and about that baby in our room… after our victory, some of my soldiers heard crying in one of the alleys and when they went to investigate, well, there was a woman, shot in the back multiple times but who still remembered to fall sideways so she could protect the baby in her arms. When I heard about that, I felt guilty, even if none of soldiers killed her, it happened through the course of my operation, so I offered myself to foster the baby while the government take care of all the papers and authorizations to look for adoptive parents” Sighing, you looked up and saw the small tears forming in their eyes. “I’m so sorry”

“You’ve never lied to us” Jisoo pointed out. “So as long as you don’t make it into a usual thing, I forgive you”

“I do too, but I prefer to know you are in danger instead of just knowing that one day, you’ll never come back to us” Lisa added just before some cries started to echo around the penthouse.

“I’ll see what they need” Jisoo and Lisa nodded before you stood up and went to your room.

“I’ll order food for the baby and…” Jisoo looked at Lisa and put her hand on hers over Lisa’s lap. “…I’ll let you choose their clothing” The Thai smiled brightly.

“I’ll do my best”

Some weeks have passed ever since, and your life had drastically turned. You were still working in the army, but you have been less diligent about it, trying to take most of your free time to think about (Y/CN), and yes, along with both of your girlfriends you named the baby, even if you were still fostering them, just like right now.

You were on your coach, baby in your arms and holding the feeding bottle to (Y/CN)’s mouth, Jisoo and Lisa looking at you in adoration.

“I’ll resign from the army” You suddenly said, still looking at the baby, leaving Jisoo and Lisa into a little bit of a shock.

“Why so suddenly?” Lisa asked.

“It’s not sudden, I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, I just didn’t have the courage to imagine a life outside the army, but after what happened in the last operation, the blood that was spilled under my orders, I just feel that this is the right option”

“We’ll always support you” Jisoo smiled at you.

“I know” You stopped feeding the baby and saw how their little eyes looked at you, in pure adoration. You were their protection, almost by instinct they saw you as their shelter, their parent.

That moment would have lasted longer just if your phone hadn’t started to ring scaring the baby. (Y/CN) started to cry because of the sudden noise, making Lisa to stand up and take the baby off your arms and take them into your room so you could talk to whoever was calling you.

As soon as you picked up the phone and listened to the voice on the other side of the line greeting you, you knew what this call was about. So, you just greet them and let them talk as you closed your eyes, confusing Jisoo.

“Have a good day” You ended the call and looked at Jisoo. “A couple has started searching to adopt an international baby and adoption services want to give them (Y/CN)”

Jisoo just nodded and stayed quiet.

This was expected to happen, so, why did you feel like that? Broken?

“Look!” Lisa whispered-yelled as she entered the living room, with a big smile on her face. “I finally managed to calm (Y/CN) down” Jisoo and you looked at Lisa, her happy face breaking both of your hearts even more. “Did something happen?”

“Adoption services want to give (Y/CN) to a couple” Lisa’s smile suddenly disappeared, and her eyes fell on the sleeping face of (Y/CN).

No words were spoken afterwards.

That dreaded day has arrived. All the baby things the three of you bought were now packed and ready to be given to adoption services as soon as the ring the bell of your home.

Jisoo was carrying (Y/CN), looking intently at the baby while sitting on the couch, wanting to engrave their face in her mind, with Lisa and you on her sides, doing the same as Jisoo.

“I don’t want to let (Y/CN) go…” Jisoo whispered as her hand very gently caressed the head of the baby.

“I love you (Y/CN)” Lisa sadly smiled.

But you, you were quiet.

Back when you were training, you were taught not to care, to think rationally, to fight and to follow orders, not to against them; but how could you ever do that now?

It was cruel, wasn’t it?

One thing was to have never met (Y/CN), for their biological mother to survive, to never feel this kind of happiness and sadness.

But to meet her, feeling all these emotions and suddenly having to let her go, that was another thing.

The ring of your doorbell sounded across your home, Lisa and Jisoo suddenly tensing up at what that meant, but still, they did not let go, they wanted to hold onto (Y/CN) until the last second.

“I’ll go open the door” You offered and stood up without receiving any kind of response.

All that Jisoo and Lisa wished was to wake up, this had to be a nightmare. It felt too surreal, it broke them to a point where they were questioning why they would let themselves love (Y/CN) if they knew someday, they had to go.

When they heard the door open, Lisa put her head on Jisoo’s shoulder, seeking any kind of comfort.

It felt like an eternity until they heard the door close and some steps getting near them and stopping just behind them. They did not want to look, fearing that as soon as they turn around, they’ll people in fancy suits asking them to give up (Y/CN).

“(Y/CN)’s adoption process has started” Your voice brought with it the start of their worst fear, there was no turning back now, (Y/CN) was no longer under your care. “After some visits to the psychologist and some others from adoptions services for evaluation, they should give us the adoption certificate for (Y/CN)”

Did they hear correctly?

Give us? Us?

Both of them turned around slowly and noticed the lack of any personnel from adoption services.

“(Y/CN) is going to be our kid” Lisa was the first to react and run towards you, jumping into your arms and kissing you all over your face. Jisoo smiled brightly and looked towards (Y/CN), their eyes were open and looking back at her with that spark only (Y/CN) could have.

Jisoo stood up and went towards Lisa and you, getting as close to you as possible. All three of you looked at (Y/CN), finally, without any fear, you could call yourselves their parents.

Once you love someone, you give them a part of your heart, as a proof of that devotion; then, it is no surprise that when they leave you, it hurts like hell. A part of your heart has been taken away, it will take years to repair and even then, you won't be the same one ever again.

78 notes · View notes

directactionforhope · 3 months

Text

Go Here for Instructions on How to Submit Posts!

And go here for an example.

Submissions limit of 5 posts per person each week, please!

Otherwise, unfortunately, I'll get too overwhelmed by the submissions volume to post anything. Thank you for your understanding!

Me and the Basics

Call me Cactus! They/them, late twenties.

I'm the person who runs the Reasons for Hope tumblr.

This is a sideblog-to-a-sideblog for Reasons for Hope, because I want to promote actions and spread awareness for things that don't always fit on a good news blog specifically

For context: Queer, trans, disabled, white, USian, for context.

Let me know if I post something offensive, I promise I have practice fixing things when I mess up instead of lashing out at the person who told me. I don't want to post hurtful things, so I genuinely want to always learn more about how to not do that, even when it's uncomfortable.

This is all very long because I'm still incapable of being concise.

About This Blog

Made this blog because I keep wanting to reblog or post about actions people can take, but didn't want to put them on Reasons for Hope unless they were actually mostly good news.

As a person who's Been There with spiraling, I really get the need to have access to a space that you know will contain good news and ONLY good news, in this day and age.

Also made it because I have Opinions and want to talk about Issues and activism and I'm committed to not doing that on my good news blog unless it involves, again, actual good news.

So, follow if you want! I definitely invite people to send in actions (links to campaigns/petitions/major protests/letter writing campaigns/etc.) specifically as submissions. I'll put up a how-to and link it here at some point, bc I've learned from Reasons for Hope that if they're in ask format I won't usually have the time/energy to reformat that/make it into a post.

(Sorry to people who've sent asks in on there, you're great. I'll switch to a submissions-based attempted system there too once I get the chance. May be a minute, I'm about to start a new job(!!).

My Editorial Standards

My usual editorial standards from Reasons for Hope apply, modified for this sort of blog:

Any donation-related posts/submissions need to be from some kind of established organization. It can be super grassroots etc. but I need to be able to verify that it's not a scam.

For that reason, no personal fundraisers/gofundmes. I'm genuinely sorry about this because I know a lot of people need the help but like I say on Reasons for Hope, there's no way to truly vet the vast majority of those posts, and I really don't have the time to try.

I'll come up with some sort of tag to put on all the particularly upsetting/fucked content so people can filter it and just see the action posts. Preferably something unique so it doesn't screen out other people's posts if you want to filter

More below:

I'll also have a tag for any particularly upsetting/fucked informational/educational things I post, because I do want to help spread awareness about a number of things, some of which will be pretty upsetting.

That said, I'll try to keep those informational posts only to things that are solutions-focused and/or have an element of good news or hopeful updates, where possible.

I'll also keep most of those posts behind a read-more where possible.

For more info about why I'm including that stuff, see the bottom of this post.

I will not post any campaigns or actions for reelecting Joe Biden until either the genocide in Gaza ends, or until September 1, 2024 (the month early voting starts).

Why do I have that policy? Because Joe Biden is absolutely committing war crimes, but Donald Trump would still, in fact be worse, for the US in general, for BIPOC in the US in particular, and for Palestinians/Gaza. I made a post about this with more details that I'll link here at some point.

Everything is going to be labeled with the link's source, the organization running it, the date posted (if identifiable), and the dates of the campaign/campaign deadline.

Re: Posting bad news here

I've been thinking about starting this sideblog-to-a-sideblog for a while now, because there are a lot of actions/campaigns/etc. that I really wanted to help promote, but did not want to put on Reasons for Hope, because I'm trying really hard to keep that limited to actual, you know, reasons for hope.

That said, I will be including upsetting stuff here. It will have its own tag for people to filter if they only want to see the links to actions. But I am committed to including it.

More below the read more, because this got longwinded and a bit personal:

That's partly because there are a lot of issues that very people know about, and I believe a lot in the power of spreading knowledge/awareness.

It's also because of the reason I finally stopped pondering and decided to start this blog: I just found out tonight that my grandfather died young because of toxic radiation from a nuclear meltdown at a super dangerous and experimental nuclear reactor, which the US government covered up completely and continued operating for decades. Right next to Los Angeles. btw.

If you live in or near Simi Valley, Chatsworth, or the West San Fernando Valley, or your parents did, get high-risk-level-appropriate cancer screenings. And if you're in Simi or within like 5 miles of it...probably don't drink the tap water. Also maybe try to move. (Consulting with a public health scientist/activist friend about this, will report back.)

I was already anti-nuclear, including anti-nuclear power, because of the absolute devastation it's done, especially to Indigenous communities and Japanese civilians. I didn't want to get into it on Reasons for Hope because of the whole "urgency of climate change" thing. But suffice to say that being anti-nuclear just shot very far up my "activism priorities" list.

None of this, or any other horrific things I may post about, conflict with or ruin my faith in humanity. I've definitely been incredibly pessimistic and misanthropic in my life.

But I believe that, for all the bad and evil things humans do, there is equal or greater potential for good. I believe it's like they say: "Hurt people hurt people." That's not the case always, but it is very often. Now, for the first time in history, we have the physical ability to end starvation and scarcity and a lot of death and suffering. We're still getting there, though we still have a long way to go.

I believe in a future where we can all hurt each other (and the other life around us) far less. I believe in a future where we have beaten and reserved at climate change.

I want to live to see that future, and I want all of you to get the chance to see it with me.

#blog business #me #admin

8 notes · View notes

aredheadedmess · 2 years

Text

Pied Piper || JJK [8]

Summary: Y/N L/N, an investigative journalist for the Daily Bullet, usually doesn’t see much out of the ordinary; A missing person’s case gone cold, an old case reopened and solved with updated technology, the thrilling excitement when another puzzle of one of the biggest serial killers is cracked. But when an old file resurfaces, she brings back a past that should have been burned with the file a long time ago.

Pairings: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 3.2k

Chapter Warnings: One swear word, talks about disappearing children, allusion to the paranormal and unexplainable things, this is also a very dialogue heavy chapter. let me know if I missed anything

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Mystery/Thriller, Paranormal, Strangers to Friends

Chapter Rating: Pg-13

A/N: I'm back! I'm sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out 😓 I lost motivation to do a lot of things, and when I finally got back to writing this, I scrapped my original idea and rewrote. I can't tell you guys how many times I rewrote this haha... and then uni started up again so I unintentionally pushed this to the side. BUT now I'm back and I hope to finish up this series soon! There's a couple of major things that I want to happen before it ends, so look forward to a couple more chapters! I hope you like it! 😊

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

6 September, 20XX

It shouldn’t have taken you as long as it did to get here; standing on the front porch of the most recent disappearance victim. After your talk with Jungkook, you knew there was no easy way of approaching the subject with the woman. The questions you needed to ask demanded so much from the person answering. So you kept to yourself.

For the past two days, you kept yourself tucked away in your room. You paced the floor, thoughts running a mile a minute about everything that had happened so far. From when you first drove into town, to the heavy conversation with Jungkook a day prior. You tried to find the best way to ask the questions to get enough information in return without hurting the victim even farther than they already were. But there really wasn’t an easier way.

The front door slowly opens only far enough to peek outside; the chain on the top of the door restricts it from opening any more. Martha peeks through the crack. You smile gently at her, hoping she will recognize you from when she saw you a couple nights ago. She offers a small smile in return.

“Hi, Martha,” you begin slowly. “Is it alright if I come in and ask you some questions?”

She nods, almost frantically. She shuts the door, and you can hear the frantic movements of the deadbolt being shifted around before the door swings open again.

“Sure, sure.” She waves you in. “Yes, come on in. Would you like something to drink?”

“Water is just fine, thank you.”

As you enter the house, Martha nods towards the living room seating. You make yourself comfortable as she grabs a glass of water for both you and her.

“Here you go.”

“Thank you.” You smile. “Please, get comfortable.”

You gesture to the couch opposite the one you are on. Waiting until she gets settled in, you review the notes you’ve already made in the file you brought along with you, preparing your pen to take any more notes. You take a deep breath. Hopefully you can get all the information you need to get your foot in the door in this investigation.

“I was hoping to ask you about what exactly happened two nights ago?” you ask slowly.

“Of course.” Her face hardens into a look of determination. “I am willing to answer anything to find my daughter.”

“Thank you. Now, can you describe to me how you found out she was gone?”

Martha sighs, leaning back into the couch. She clasps her hands in her lap and fiddles with her thumbs.

“Well, it was two nights ago, as you said. I had been home after work for a little while, preparing to make dinner for the two of us.”

You nod and tilt your head in curiosity.

“Where do you work?”

“I’m an antique dealer at a pawn shop in the next town over. I work eight to four on the weekdays.”

Martha smiles at the thought of her work. She must seem to really enjoy what she does.

“Okay. And you mentioned ‘the two of us’. Is it just you and your daughter?”

“Yes,” she hums, nodding. “Her father left us when she was little. It’s been her and I since she could walk.”

She looks up at you, waiting for you to ask another question. Instead, you gently nod your head, letting her know she can continue her thoughts. Martha glances back down at her restless hands. She clears her throat, licks her drying lips, and takes in another breath before speaking again.

“Well, I went upstairs to check in on her, and know her plans for the rest of the night. When I made it to her room, she was at her desk, working through the most recent packets for her classes. We had talked for a few minutes before I went back downstairs to continue working on dinner.”

“So you had seen and talked to her before she disappeared?” you ask.

“Yes. She seemed completely fine.” Her brows furrow as she shakes her head slightly. “She never mentioned anything alarming. Her and I have a really good relationship where we try not to hide anything from each other.”

You nod. There is a moment of silence between the two of you as you write down some of the key notes. The only sound being the scratching of the pen against the paper. Your eyes lift up as you finish, nodding again for her to continue.

“I was in the kitchen in the middle of cooking when I heard the radio suddenly playing.” Her head tilts in the direction of the kitchen. Your eyes follow, catching a glimpse of an old radio, weathered from the many years of use. “I thought it was just Ayesha, but when I looked over, the room was empty. I thought it was odd at first, but the damn thing is so old that it will sometimes turn on by itself. I didn’t think anything of it until I realized what it was playing. It was something that I’ve never heard before. We always leave it on one station, so when it does turn on, it’ll play that station. It’s never once changed to a different one.”

Your eyes never leave the radio. Standing up, you walk towards it.

“Is it this one, here?”

“That’s the one.” Martha’s voice is close behind you. She must have gotten up herself as you made your way to the radio. “I had walked over to it to turn it off, but when I got to it, it wasn’t even on in the first place. But, it still kept playing this odd tune. Something like a flute playing through the speakers.”

You study the radio. The bright red paint is wearing off most of the antique. The knobs on the front have been used so much that the sides are worn down enough to see where your fingers should hold them. The glass covering the frequency indicator is slightly scratched when the light hits it just right. You glance around to the back, noting that it had been modified to use the house’s electrical system to stay powered. Though, when you look down at the wall socket, there is nothing plugged in.

“Did you unplug it?”

You glance up at Martha, an eyebrow raised in question. She nods as she looks at the outlet herself.

“Yes. I was trying to get it to stop playing. But nothing changed even after unplugging it.”

“That’s odd.”

Your brows knit together trying to come up with a logical explanation. Maybe the radio has a backup battery for when the power is out, to keep it playing. But when you glance at the back of the radio again, you realize there is no way a battery with enough power of any size could be hidden away.

Leaning down to plug the radio back in, you wait for any sign of electrical problems. Perhaps there was just a short after having it plugged in for so long. You aren’t an expert of the topic, by any means, but maybe if you could find where the problem might be, there would be at least one thing explained away.

“I remember hearing the stories that the folks around here would say about the disappearances,” Martha utters. You lift yourself back up to face her. “You know, the old tale of hearing faint music drift through the air, something that no one else hears but the person that will disappear. I didn’t believe it all at first. Mostly because it was all of the elders saying it, which you know, sometimes they aren’t always in the right space.”

You hum. Even from the short time working on this case, you read and heard most—if not all—the folklore surrounding the disappearances. Martha meets your gaze, a stone cold shiver running down her spine, and a flash of fear in her eyes as she begins to recall what she experienced.

“But there was something that just clicked in me once I realized that I couldn’t turn it off. I knew that it was the Piper’s music. The same music that was in the stories. I can’t tell you how fast I ran back up to Ayesha’s room. I opened her door, hoping that she would still be in there, at her desk. But the room was empty. As if she had vanished into the air. Everything was left like she had just stepped out to use the bathroom or something. The only weird thing about the room was her window.”

“Her window?”

“Yes.” Martha’s voice is stern. “She never has it open during the night. It gets drafty in her room, and the open window doesn’t help. Especially on cooler nights like that night.”

You glance up to the top of the staircase, as far up as you can see from the position you’re in. In the darkness of the upper floor, you can make out the beginning of a door frame just past the top of the last step.

“Is it alright if I took a look in her room?” you ask.

“Yes, of course. Follow me.”

Martha leads you to the staircase, flipping the lightswitch on the wall beside it to light the way. She takes a hesitant first step. Grabbing onto the railing, Martha ascends the stairs with you in tow. The boards creak under the weight, and one stair in particular screeches loudly as if it were shouting in agony. You glance around once you make it to the landing. There are three doors, one of which is wide open, showcasing the simple hallway bathroom. Martha pushes open the door nearest to the stairs.

“This is her room.”

The bedroom is just about as big as the studio apartment you use to live in during your college days. A twin bed is situated in the corner beside the window, its purple sheets crumpled slightly from someone sitting on the edge of the mattress. The closet doors a foot or two away from the foot of the bed. A small desk, papers and books scattered across the surface, sits up against the wall on the opposite side of the room from the window. The chair is pulled out and twisted as if someone had just stepped away from the desk. Your eyes glance over to the window where a light breeze is gently tossing the light purple curtains towards the center of the room.

You take a step into the room, skimming through the contents of the papers on the desk before making your way to the window. You lean down to scan the frame and stick your head outside, memorizing the view. You can see the top floors of the school several blocks down, and the old general store is just down the street from where they live. Pushing yourself back into the room to face Martha, your eyebrows furrow. One brow lifting in question.

“And this is exactly how you found it?”

She nods. She plays with her fingers as she avoids any eye contact with you, barely even looking at any of the things in the bedroom.

“Yes. I didn’t touch a thing. When I saw she was gone, that’s when I came running over to find you.”

“How did you know about me, anyway?” You tilt your head as you ask.

“It’s not that hard to find a new face roaming the empty streets.” Martha shrugs. “My daughter had mentioned about a woman who looked to have been collecting information about the town, so I had assumed that you must have been a reporter or something. And the Jungkook boy has the only place that would make sense to hold a new visitor.”

“I see,” you hum, glancing out the window one last time.

You step closer to Martha with a gentle smile resting on your lips.

“I appreciate you taking the time to answer my questions. I hope that I can give you the answers you need,” you speak with sincerity.

Martha shakes her head, stepping toward you herself and takes your hands in hers. A hopeful look takes over her features.

“No, thank you. I know that you will be able to help this town. I have a good feeling about it.”

“We will find her.”

“Thank you.”

You shove your notes and dead laptop into your backpack. The duffle bag for your clothes lays open on the bed, a couple of items still lounging about.

“What are you doing?”

Jungkook’s sudden presence startles you slightly. He’s very quiet, you’ve come to learn, showing up out of the blue when you least expect it. He leans against the doorframe, arms folded across his chest.

“I’m leaving,” you mumble, still preoccupied with packing to give him anything more than that.

A scoff rings out in the air. You furrow your eyebrows and glance up to where Jungkook stands. A strained smirk is painted on his face. His tongue pushes into the inside of his cheek. “I knew it. You’re just like the rest of them. Promising that you’ll help, only to leave this town in the dust once you get confirmation that we are just a bunch of hopeless cases.”

You quickly stand up from your crouched position on the floor. Getting up in Jungkook’s face to tell him your thoughts has become a lot easier the longer you’ve been here. So when he stumbles back slightly from the sudden close proximity, you feel a sense of pride swell in your chest. Though, you don’t focus much on it as you briefly explain why.

“I need back up. I’ll only be gone for the rest of today, so stop jumping to conclusions. You don’t know how hard I’m trying to keep the promises I’m making.”

Jungkook must have sensed your tenacity as he steps back, raising his hands in surrender before turning away towards the living room.

He wishes you a safe trip back into the big city.

The closer you drive to the town’s borders, the heavier the air feels. It’s as if there is an invisible force field over the town and the energy from it continuously affects you negatively. It doesn’t help that there is a dark storm rolling in over the mountains as you drive away. You can hear the rumbling of thunder from the inside of your car. It’s going to be a big storm.

As your car creeps up to the town boundary, you catch a glimpse of something dark from the corner of your eye. You turn your head to see what it is. Your eyes grow wide. Standing behind the welcome sign to the town, a dark figure seems to wave at you in the shadows. Though it has no distinct features, it looks as if it is grinning widely at you as you pass by. A cold shiver runs up your spine.

“What the f- Shit!”

As you turn back to face the road, a small herd of deer sprint across right in front of you. You have to slam on your brakes to stop you from knocking through the innocent animals. You manage to stop inches away from an unsuspecting dear. It’s frozen in the middle of the lane, staring your frantic form down. Too close for comfort. After taking a moment to catch your breath, you honk, sending the deer into a slight frenzy, and scaring it away. You glance through your rear view mirror at the sign as you start back up again, but there is nothing there.

“Yoongi!”

A head of shaggy brown hair whips towards the sound of your voice. Yoongi’s face lights up as he recognizes who you are. He rushes to stand in front of you, a look of worry taking over his face. He eyes you up and down like a worried mother, looking for any kind of injury.

“Y/N? Where have you been? It’s been a month. Why haven’t you been answering your phone?” Yoongi spits rapid fire questions at you. You both have joked in the past that he should have become a rapper with how fast he speaks sometimes.

Confusion is written all over your face. A month? You had only been working on the case for a week and a half at most.

“No it hasn’t? It’s only been like two weeks.”

“You’re kidding, right?” he scoffs.

“No? My phone’s been dead, but there’s still no way that-”

“Ms. L/N?”

Your eyes light up at the sound of Namjoon’s voice. Turning to face him, you rush out what you needed to ask of him.

“Perfect. Mr. Kim, I need all the help I can get.”

Namjoon raises an eyebrow, a strong gaze watching your every move.

“Are you still working on that case? We have tried everything we can to help that town.” He shakes his head absentmindedly. “There’s nothing else we can do.”

“No.”

Both Namjoon and Yoongi look at you like you’re crazy. Did you just say no to the boss? Taking this case changed you quite a bit. Before, you would have never faced Namjoon the way you are right now. Before, you would submit to whatever Namjoon had told you to do as he would take over and close up most of the cases you worked on. Some of the surrounding employees must have heard or felt the shift in the air as they stare at the three of you without even trying to hide.

“I won’t take that as an answer,” you continue. “I need anybody that I can get. Forensics, paranormal, literally anyone.”

“Look L/-”

“Mr. Kim,” you interrupt.

Your voice is unwavering. Your feet are planted into the floor as if he is trying to knock you down with his words. Your eyes bore into his, trying to get your message through his thick skull.

Namjoon takes in a breath. He closes his eyes, bows his head slightly, and raises one hand.

“Fine. It won’t be very many, since most departments are busy with their own cases, but I’ll let them know. Min, go with L/N.”

A smile creeps up onto your lips.

“Thank you, sir.”

You walk up to the door of Jungkook’s Bed and Breakfast, bags in hand, and Yoongi on your tail. Before you step up to the porch, you turn to Yoongi.

“Be aware that you may not get the warmest of welcomes.”

Yoongi’s brows crease and a small pout forms on his lips.

“What do you mean?”

Without another word, you face forward again and walk up the steps. The front door swings open before you have the chance to ring the doorbell. Jungkook looks at you with a raised eyebrow.

“You call your boyfriend your backup?”

You push through the door, forcing Jungkook to move out of your and Yoongi’s way to get inside quickly. The sun is beginning to set and you didn’t want to stay outside any longer after what happened earlier in the day.

“One, he’s not my boyfriend,” you call out as you walk through the house to get to your room. “He’s got a fiance. Two, there will be others coming tomorrow. Don’t get your panties in a twist.”

You glance back to see Jungkook grumble out something under his breath at your last few words. He takes one quick look at you, then Yoongi, rolling his eyes before speaking at you rather than the person he is referring to.

“He can take the room next to yours.”

Taglist: @jjin-kun @rosiekook @joyfulhopelox @lavienjin @swanguk @stanny-uwu @areigahto @seokout @bonobonoyaaaahh @seajae @sugainmybowl @fluffyjjkk

If you would like to be added to the taglist, send me a message, an ask, or reply to a post from the series! OR if you would like to be added to a more permanent taglist fill out this form!

92 notes · View notes

ryndicate · 1 year

Text

Quick Commissions!! Fund my anime addiction!

TLDR; taxes are fucked and so am I </3

Ok it's not actually funding my addiction. So long story short, apparently(?) the tax forms changed last year and I didn't notice the change until September,,, which meant I went 9 months of the year without paying anything into taxes. I didn't think it would be this bad but now that I've filed, it turns out I owe a laughably high amount and i have until July to pay it back :')

There's no way I'd be able to pay it off on commissions alone so I'm doing little comms to help offset my spending and make it easier to put money towards the debt.

The categories are more for cuteness than they are what I'm actually going to spend them on. Won't lie, it'll probably be going into my food budget or paying for my gas.

ㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ꘏ Blog Rules Apply ꘏

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ꘏ Fandom/Characters I will write for ꘏

ㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ꘏ 1/3 slots taken ꘏

Buy me a blind bag clip — $10

1k-1.5k drabble, all content types are acceptable but this category will be best quality for sfw/suggestive due to limited length

But if you're not looking for a lot of background info and just want something horny, I got you.

Buy me a manga — $15

2k drabble/ficlet, preferably nsfw/dc

Buy me a little figure — $25*

3k-4k fic, nsfw/dc

* Price will mark up to a discussed price if the length passes 4k

Buy me a BIG figure — $60*

7.5k is the max, will not be less than 6k.

* This category is DC only because for me to commit to something of this length, it needs to be something that aligns closely with my interests or I'd worry about getting it done and actually being quality work.

Alternative Commission Options!!

Buy me an actual coffee — $5

I will write you a quick little coffee date/meet cute with a character of your choice! around 500 words

Sponsor a WIP* — $20

Let's say you want to help out but don't really have an idea in mind,, I'll send you a list of my drabble/ficlet wips for you to browse and whichever one you pick will be placed on a higher priority list for me to write and will be dedicated to you!

* Any of my series updates and longfic wips will not be available for this option, sorry!

To request your commission!

Fill out this form! I'll contact you from whatever blog name you provide either from here or my main (@darlingsanzu) and we'll talk a little more your desired price and prompt to make sure I understand what you want and we'll go from there! (Payment will process either through Kofi, or directly from PayPal.)

I will try to be as timely as possible :) starting with 3 commissions, but every time I finish one I'll update the availability

I will be putting as much love as I can into them, like I do with all my writing, but dark content is the winner of my heart so that's where you'll really get the most of your dollar :3

Donations are also okay if you are just that super sweet kind of awesome, here's the link to what I am affectionately dubbing my little cookie jar. Rewarded with nose boops and kisses!

Thank you so much if you read this far! I'm really thankful for your time 💞

ㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ Reblogs are incredibly appreciated!!

#tokyo revengers x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #bnha x reader #blue lock x reader #csm x reader #aot x reader #bleach x reader #hxh x reader #naruto x reader

17 notes · View notes

stargazer-sims · 8 months

Text

Journal Entry #55 (part one)

Journal Entry #54 // STORY INDEX

Victor

Let me tell you, I think I've had enough stress for this week.

Okay, so I know it's only been a few days since my last update, but stuff has happened. A lot of stuff, actually, and I need to unpack all of it somewhere, so here we are.

Exactly as I predicted, and probably to no one's surprise, Yuri did end up in the hospital again.

A healthy and fit person might be able to go a week or more without food, but somebody whose health is as fragile as Yuri's can't. His body has practically zero reserves, and after a handful of days without eating, it was obvious he was getting weaker and more unwell.

Believe me, I tried everything I could think of to get some nourishment into him, but he wasn't having it. I was getting really worried, and when he woke up the day before yesterday with a fever, it might not be overstating it to say I panicked. I suggested that we should go back to the hospital because I didn't know what else I could do for him, and what really scared me was that he agreed without a debate.

At the urgent care clinic, the doctor who saw him was the same one who'd taken care of him last time, Dr. Shibazaki. She remembered him, and after taking one look at his medical records on the computer, decided on the spot that she'd admit him.

By some weird coincidence, his room turned out to be the same one he'd occupied during his previous stay. It wasn't bad, as far as hospital rooms go. The colour of the walls reminded me of a clear September sky, and there was a window so we could look out at the real sky if we wanted to. During Yuri's last stay, we'd kept the curtain closed most of the time, but I opened it this time to let some sunlight in.

"I'm glad I'm in this room again," Yuri commented as he sat on the bed and changed into pyjamas. "Not really glad, but... you know. I like familiarity."

"I know what you mean," I said. "I'd rather you didn't need to be here, but it is a comfortable room."

"As comfortable as hospital rooms get," he said. "Sorry I'm being so much trouble. Again."

I wanted to tell him he didn't need to apologize, but instead I just said, "Never mind. You're worth the trouble."

I did my best to tuck him into bed with my one good arm, and then I climbed up to snuggle with him. That, at least, was a vast improvement from before. He'd been connected to too much stuff and I'd had both arms encased in Fiberglas, so awkward hospital bed cuddles had been totally off the agenda.

Yuri had only been settled in his room for about half an hour when his specialist turned up. I'm sure we've mentioned her before, but just in case you don't recall, her name is Espérance Kasongo and she's a Canadian like me, but I don't think Canada is her country of origin. Her first language is French, so she has an interesting accent when she speaks Japanese. She speaks English too, though, and that's the language she seems to prefer using with Yuri and me.

Dr. Kasongo is a gastroenterologist — a digestive system doctor, for those of you who don't like big words — and she's been seeing Yuri for about five years now. He likes her a lot more than he liked his previous gastroenterologist, probably because she's gentle with him and treats him with empathy, like a whole person instead of just a vessel for a diseased body part.

Dr. Kasongo is usually gentle with me as well, but at the hospital the other day, I wasn't feeling it. The empathy was still there, but I recognize tough love when I see it, and she definitely wasn't going easy on me.

To be fair to her, she wasn't wrong. She made valid points, and I have no problem acknowledging I needed her to draw my attention to some things. I mean, most of what she said was stuff I already knew but didn't put into perspective until somebody else said it aloud.

After examining Yuri and reviewing the notes Dr. Shibazaki had made, Dr. Kasongo's conclusion was that he was showing all the signs of malnutrition. That didn't really shock me at all. I'm not a medical professional yet, but I'd kinda suspected it for a while.

The doctor said she was going to request bloodwork and some other tests. Yuri didn't seem thrilled about it, but he didn't comment on it like he usually does. He just nodded and said it was fine. I think that worried me more than anything, as strange as it may sound.

Once she'd finished poking and prodding him, Dr. Kasongo sat us both down for a serious talk. She didn't ease into it, either

She led with, "This is very concerning, Yuri. I discharged you on the understanding that you were going to follow the food plan the nutritionist gave you. Now, here you are, back again."

"Here I am," Yuri echoed lamely.

"Can you tell me about what you've been eating?"

He glanced at me, and his expression was one of desperation. Taking pity on him, I said, "We started off okay, but the food plan was a lot, and—"

"Excuse me." The doctor cut me off with a stern look. "I have questions later for you. Right now, I'm asking Yuri."

"I... haven't really been eating much," Yuri told her. "Water. Soy milk. I think I had grape juice yesterday or the day before."

She shook her head. "That is not eating. When was the last time you had solid food?"

"Maybe four days ago?"

"And what was it?"

"Rice."

"Were you having trouble keeping food down?" she asked. "Or was it something else?"

"Something else," Yuri said.

"Do you think you can tell me about it?"

"One of our friends was helping us," he said. "He kept making me feed myself."

The doctor made a noncommittal humming sound. "I see."

"It was stressful," Yuri went on. "I told him I couldn't do it, that it was giving me a lot of anxiety. I don't like eating. I don't like touching food, and sometimes I don't even like looking at food. Having to feed myself while somebody sat there watching to make sure I did it was too much."

"I see," she said again. "If your friend was encouraging you to feed yourself, am I to infer that you were not feeding yourself before?”

“Yes,” he said.

“Somebody else was feeding you?"

"Yes.”

Dr. Kasongo shifted her attention to me. "Victor, were you feeding him?"

"Yeah," I confessed. "I mean, not too much lately, because of my arms, but..." I gestured vaguely with the hand that still had a cast on it. "But... yeah. Me and his parents. It's just easier for everyone that way."

"And how is it easier?" she inquired.

"Because he needs to eat, and it's too hard to watch him struggle with it, especially when he's really sick,"

"So, I'm hearing that it's easier for you if you feed him."

"I... guess so?" I said. "But, it's easier for him too."

"Is it?" she asked. "Yuri, how do you feel when someone feeds you? Does that make it easier for you to eat?"

Yuri fidgeted with the edge of his blanket and looked as though he was attempting to decide on the best way to answer. After several seconds, he ventured, "I suppose it does, in a way. There's less to think about if I don't have to handle the utensils myself, but I still don't like eating."

"Does it produce less anxiety when someone feeds you?" the doctor inquired.

"Anxiety about eating? Yes, a little less, but then I’m anxious about creating too much work for Victor or my mother."

"So, clearly that is not the solution." Dr. Kasongo leaned back in her chair, and seemed to ponder for a moment before she continued. "I may have a better one. Yuri, how would you feel about doing something called nutrition rehabilitation?"

"What's that?" I hadn't meant to speak before Yuri got the chance to answer, but the phrase itself intrigued me and I was immediately curious.

"It's a kind of therapy," the doctor said. "Patients work closely with their doctor and a nutritionist and sometimes a psychologist or psychiarist to develop better nutrition and eating strategies, and to help them have a healthier relationship with food. We use it a lot with patients who have eating disorders, mental health concerns that affect their eating, and of course patients with long-term and chronic illnesses."

Yuri didn't seem happy about this suggestion. "You want me to see a therapist?"

"I want to get you back to where you were last summer," she told him. "I'd like to see you at a healthy weight, with a proper sleep schedule and meal routine, and with enough energy to exercise and work and enjoy your life."

"That'd be great, wouldn't it?" I added. "We had a lot of fun last summer. Remember the rock climbing?"

"Yeah," Yuri said.

“What was your favourite thing about last summer?”

“Going to the Festival of Snow with your mother,” he said. “We were out all day.”

“Ideally, I would like to see you be able to have full days out this summer as well,” said the doctor. "Is that a goal you'd be willing to work toward? Eating independently and stabilizing your routine, and getting back some stamina?"

"I suppose so," he said.

I recalled the conversation between Yuri and his mother. She'd talked about goals too. Yuri hadn't been particularly amenable to goal-setting that day, but now it seemed he might be coming around to it.

"You will have to participate too, Victor," Dr. Kasongo said. "I recognize that you want to help, and I know you've already established some good habits, but there are more changes needed."

“Like what?” I asked.

She looked me straight in the eyes. "No more feeding, for a start. I'm quite serious about that. There can be no exceptions. It may be a difficult adjustment for you, but I think you can see that it isn't helpful to Yuri's recovery."

"Yes, I think I'm seeing that now," I said.

"And no more empty carbohydrates. I take it you are the one who prepares the meals?"

"Yeah."

"You know grape juice is not a meal."

"I know," I said.

"Protein. Healthy fats. Low-fibre fruit and vegetables. Good carbohydrates. I know you know about all those things," she said. "We need to get back on track, and you'll play an important role in that."

"I'll do my best," I promised.

"Excellent," said the doctor. "I think it would also be a good idea for you to attend some sessions with the nutritionist along with Yuri. With your background, you may be more well-informed about health and nutrition than most caregivers, but there's still quite a lot you can learn about the topic in general and, I dare say, about Yuri's needs in particular."

I nodded. "Okay."

"Yuri, you will need to be accountable for yourself as well," she continued. "Just because Victor has the responsibility of planning and preparing meals, that doesn't mean you can let him manage everything. The nutritionist will work with you and teach you how to make good decisions about eating, and I expect you to participate in the meal planning and take control of your own food intake at some point."

"Are you going to check up on me?" Yuri asked, and it was difficult to determine from his tone if he wanted her to or if he didn't. It could've been, 'I'm scared I'll mess it up without support' or it could have been, 'I won't be able to get away with anything if you're monitoring me'. I couldn't tell. I hoped it was the first one, but I feared it was the second.

"Of course I'll be checking on you," she said. "And I've already referred you to an excellent colleague of mine, Dr. Daniel Kim at Willow Creek Regional Hospital. So, after you move, there'll be someone to check your progress straight away when you get there."

I hadn't realized she'd already made a referral. I hadn't told her we were moving, so I had to assume Yuri's parents had told her during his previous hospital stay. It was a good thing somebody had mentioned it, because I'll admit I'd been too preoccupied to think of lining up new doctors for Yuri back home.

"I didn't know international referrals were even a thing," I said.

"I'm not sure they are," said Dr. Kasongo. "Daniel and I were in medical school together, and we both chose the same specialty. We've been great friends for a long time and naturally we keep in touch. I asked him for a favour, and fortunately for you, he was glad to do it." She gave me a conspiratorial little grin. "Something for a fellow resident of the Creek."

I stared for a second. "You're from Willow Creek?"

"Not originally, but when my family immigrated to Canada and settled there, I was too young to remember living anywhere else before that. I always say I had my humble beginnings in the Willow Creek Trailer Park. Not doing so bad for myself now, am I?"

"If you don't mind my asking, how long have you been in Japan?"

"About fifteen years," she said. "A few more than you, I think."

"I've been here for two, but it's time to go home."

"I understand. You must follow the path that's right for you." She looked thoughtful for a few seconds, but quickly got back to business. "Do you have any questions about what we've discussed so far?"

"I do have one," I said. "I agree with the plan. It sounds like a good idea to me, but how long do you think it'll take? Like, this isn't an immediate solution to the problem of Yuri not being able to eat."

"How long it takes will depend largely on Yuri, and also on you," she replied. "You will need to support him throughout the process, regardless of how difficult it is or how long it may take. And Yuri, I want you to understand that no one expects you to get better within days or even a few weeks. If you make quick progress, that's good, but slow, steady progress is equally good, and no one will judge you for setbacks. This may not be a strictly linear process, and I want you both to be prepared for that."

"I understand," Yuri said. "But, I don't think you really answered Victor's question."

"About an immediate solution?" she said.

"Yeah," I said. "What are we supposed to do until this nutrition rehabilitation therapy kicks in and we start seeing results? Like, he's literally starving right now, and... yeah. Sorry. You don't need me to point that out, but..." I trailed off, stopping just short of telling her how freaked out I was about the way-too-real possibility of Yuri starving himself to death.

Yuri put a hand to his mouth, as if he were feeling nauseous. His voice came out slightly strained. "Please don't say meal replacement drinks."

"No meal replacement drinks today," the doctor assured him. "Because of your overall health at the moment, I think we should begin a nutrient infusion today, and once I have all the results from the tests we're going to do, we might discuss some form of enteral nutrition after that."

I felt my heart sink at hearing her words. "You mean a feeding tube."

That was the thing I'd hoped we could avoid. I know Yuri's parents were not entirely in favour of it either, and thought it was a drastic measure.

"Yes," she said. "Yuri, unless you're willing to start drinking meal replacements or eating some soft foods within the next few days, then that would be my recommendation."

Yuri shook his head. "I... I can't. Putting anything in my mouth right now is... I just can't."

"All right," Dr. Kasongo conceded. "Perhaps you'll feel differently about it tomorrow."

"I don't think so," Yuri said.

"I'll ask you in the morning," she told him. "For now, we'll get started with your bloodwork and antibody tests, and I'll do my best to arrange an imaging test for you for this afternoon so we can see what's going on inside you. Once we have all that, we can talk about next steps. Does that sound acceptable?"

"Yes," Yuri said.

"Victor?"

I could barely breathe around the lump that'd suddenly formed in my throat, but somehow I got out a strained, "Uh… yeah."

There wasn't any other suitable response I could give anyway.

#writing #victorsworldadventures #victor nelson #yuri okamoto #victor and yuri #tw hospital #tw chronic illness #tw starvation #stargazersims

13 notes · View notes