#ok geez done with these fellas for now

[cinimuffin]

All the gridded moths/butterflies in one place and labeled in image. If you use them for anything please give design credit (and also @ me because I would like to see). Intended for personal use only. I was putting which flags each insect was in the tags previously. Here they all are in the image and down here in the text for clarity. First image: Bisexual, Pansexual, Trans Asexual, Nonbinary, Androgyne Lesbian, Intersex, Neutrois Agender, Genderfluid, Gay (mlm) Second image: Demiboy, Gendervoid, Pangender Deminonbinary, Demifluid, Cassgender Demigirl, Achillean Diamoric, Sapphic Third image: Aromantic, Polyamorous, Omnisexual Genderqueer, Demisexual, Demiromantic Polysexual, Aroace, Maverique Bigender, Abrosexual, Xenogender Fourth Image: Basic Rainbow Pride Progress Pride Intersex Progress Pride

#ok geez done with these fellas for now #moth #butterfly #insects #bugs #cross stitch #pixel art #pride #bi #bisexual #pan #pansexual #trans #asexual #ace #nonbinary #androgyne #lesbian #intersex #neutrois #agender #genderfluid #gay #mlm #wlw #demiboy #gendervoid #pangender #deminonbinary #demifluid

[loudlypanickinginvenezolano]

Life is a Big, Bad, Joke. Chapter 3, edited. (Not the final version.)

If I were to do things right I would show the second chapter but it really didnt spark a lot of joy...So, here is chapter 3 instead! (Suggestion are accepted.) 

Really, with how skinny was his actual body, and with all of his experience backing him up, it barely took Shadow 10 seconds to slip between the bars of his cell, counting on his retreat to search for his juice box, and tiptoe his way to the big locks on the Misters cage, trying hard not to smile at the fella`s indignant squawk.

If Shadow hadn’t been able to slip in and out, how did the blue one thought that that bread had appeared next to him, close enough that even in his state it could be picked up and eaten?

Maybe the mister could pick up a healthy diet, better yet? Maybe a book?

Trying his best at suppressing an amused smile, Shadow plucked a quill from his back, even though the skin there was still tender and bloody, and charged it both with chaos energy and actual electricity, rubbing it between his hands and some of his fur over and over. It was a technique that took him a few tries to master completely, but one that he was sure was or had, actually, saved his life.

The small pain was but a nuisance when it got the job done, wasn’t it?

A lot more if there were lives in danger. Worse of all, your own live.

“What are you doing?!”

“Mh, well. How do you think I-uh, sneak out of my cage back in the ARK? By crying?” He snorted softly, trying not to raise his voice, as he used that same quill to open easily the heavy electronic lock just by tapping on its end. Stopping all kind of movement, his ears perked up and swiveled in various directions, straining himself just to make sure there wasn’t any hidden mechanism, or alarm ringing up. He couldn’t even detect an added mechanical hum, let alone brisk movements close to the entry. Uh, would you look at that? They never learn, apparently. Daring to slightly relax his defensive stance, his gaze came back to this curious fellow. “I think I did once, if I remember correctly. Fried some…electronic-something-thingy. Funny night if you don’t mind blood.” Or almost dying 3 times in a row.

Shadow opened the door with some difficulty, frowning at how heavy it was, and how much the back of his neck and upper back were hurting now. Hell, his shoulders were cursing him, his tights felt jelly, and even his chest was acting up. It felt…strange.

Something was strange, amiss completely, and so glaringly obvious it hurt him deeply, but…he couldn’t really tell what it was. He just knew, he just had a feeling…and feelings didn’t gave you things to work by. They just make you mess it up and fail like a dumbass.

They held no worth.

It didn’t matter how strongly he felt it, how sure he was that he was right, how it felt like it was a screech ringing in the distant, so loud it could be heard even there where he was, even if just as an echo, a rather persistent echo Shadow couldn’t really translate…he had no proof about it, no way to back up what he kn- What he was feeling.

It was better to keep quiet.

The scientist knew better, after all. He knew nothing compared to them. Pure instincts of no base that could be easily tricked or simple paranoia. Nothing to worry or pay attention to, certainly not something he should make a fuss about and make everybody lose their time.

Scientist always got mad when they lost their time in this kind of shit.

It was better this way, wasn’t it? Safer, definitely.

He still wasn’t sure if they were being monitored, not to say. If he were to let slip the wrong thing…

It cost him a lot to swallow it, though, and act like everything was all right. It was too big of a feeling; he could have chocked in the words.

Shadow slipped into the cage, and bit on the tip of his middle finger, taking his glove off without missing a beat as he kneeled in front of the blue hedgehog. They didn’t have time to lose, after all.

In response, the un-ducky mister spluttered loudly, in an overly startled way that was a bit funny, though he didn’t really stop to pay it a lot of mind. His pale sweaty face seemed flushed, and he looked everywhere but Shadow as he quickly started to pick up the chains and locks with his claws, frowning once again at what he found.

Yas, he could see now why the hedgehog was having problems with them.

When he finished in the mess of the ankles, Shadow was sweating himself. Buckle after buckle, knot after very strange knot in certainly not a friendly temperature or position, and there was no doubt about wherever this was intentional or not.

They wanted this blue mister to suffer. Or at least, to be highly uncomfortable.

Disaster. Total, inhuman, disaster.

And he knew about inhuman things.

There where the chains dug on the skin were rubbing burns and swelling, red hot patches of skin and sore looking scratches. Shadow couldn’t contain himself from massaging and stretching the sir`s legs slightly and slowly, hearing the fella mumble and complain about the pinpricking sensation, but they needed the blood to run normally again if they really wanted to get out of here in one piece, and be able to search for this T-guy. Besides, it had been the hedgehog who had asked Shadow for help and helping he was. Blue dug his own tomb and no whining was going to, uh, un-break the egg or whatever Gerald said when this kinda shit happened.

He really couldn’t recall what did his creator so often said. He…he tried not to dwell too much on it.

Back to the…eh, thing he had been thinking of? Previously? Neither of them was in their best form, it seemed. Tired, hurting, burn or bleeding, in Shadow´s case.

Oh no, forget about it, the blue sir was also bleeding!

Yeah…He didn’t wanted to be a party pooper but the odds weren’t looking so peachy right now. Trying to do something, going outside into lord knows what, wouldn’t it be like dancing into the trap?

He didn’t even have some cloths to wrap the hedgehog injuries…

Shit.

Nonetheless, he helped the other thoroughly stretch his muscles and check for strains and broken bones, finding a few but ``nothing to really worry over`` as the sir said. He was worried though, about the mud and burns he could so clearly see. If Shadow could just heal him… Oh, how he wanted to, but, his Chaos energy resources were so low. Trying something right now would just add to the injury rather than really help matters. And it didn’t seem like he was going to be able to make the sir change his mind. That face of his, he looked like a stubborn one, that much was clear.

Once he came to this conclusion, Shadow helped the mister to stand up once he was sure the hedgehog wouldn’t crumple under his own weight, almost tripping himself when he was letting go, as he stepped on something.

Oh goofy, now even his paw was bleeding. And the socks looked so pristine to begin with…

“Oh shoot, are--Wait, where are your jet boots?”

“My what-thing?”

Geez…

They both stared at each other in surprise and confusion, dumbly and doing funny faces, as if they could explain things and communicate by scrunching the nose, raising the eyebrows, or blinking.

Neither noticed or seemed to care about how idiotic they looked, or how they kept holding hands.

“Your, uh, skates?”

“ Skates? Ah. Ah! The invention! I know where they are, but they aren’t mine. They Professor Gerald and Hanna´s.”

“What-What do you mean by that they aren’t yours? Of course they are! Don’t…don’t tell me you also forgot how to skate?” The blue sir sounded horrified and concerned at the same time, his hold on Shadow getting just slightly stronger during his outburst…which, uh…Yeah, he really didn’t understand. It did bring a warm feeling to his belly, though, so that should be something, right? Even if just for him to cherish in silence, wondering what that something may be. It felt inappropriate, considering everything around them, but at the same time it was just… good.

“Well, I mean, they are not? I don’t-I don’t remember ever…I mean, ok, I did have them on, but…! I don’t remember, I can’t answer with exactitude.” He stopped his babbling with a frown, choosing to report in a short, straightforward way, even if a little frustrated by the end. His guards around this blue fella suddenly fell during their little interaction, so silently that not even him realized it until he found himself rambling so carelessly.

And that was a bad strategy when you are trying to survive, or escape.  

On the other hand, few and short sentences were always easier to say, went straight to the point, and seemed to be liked by his superiors, and that? That always was a plus in whatever you did, even if just eating, or the way you walked. Appealing at their good side, their ego? Ha! That was one of the first thing he learned to do in order to survive.

Maybe it would be better to just try his best, and keep to them for the time being, maybe like that he wouldn’t anger someone who was better left alone.

Though, looking at the mister in front of him… He wondered for how long his resolve would last, how long would it be until he messed up and enraged someone…

What was going on with him lately?

Realizing that they had run into a dead end in their conversation, they dropped the theme and reassumed the silence, albeit a bit awkward this time. It was obvious Shadow didn’t felt comfortable yet, still unsure about many things and understandably anxious about his spotty memory, while Sonic was struck down by another wave of uneasiness, his breath stuttering once again before he got it under control. Indeed, it was a dire situation, and his heart was beating hard enough that it felt like it was trying to break free as well, trying to burst out of his chest and…do what?

What really could he do in this situation?

He ached so bad, but it was hard to tell for what.

They hadn’t let go of each other arm, or well, Sonic hadn’t at least, and so, he indulged himself a bit and allowed his thumb to rub softly on Shadow wrist, as comforting as that little gesture could get to be, and little as it was, it caused that Shadow´s troubled gaze softened a little.

Using each other as support, they stepped out of the holding cell in no time, Shadow noticing that the blue hedgehog looked better with every passing moment he was outside of the cage, resting on top of some strange curved surfaces near the wall.

It was like he could finally breathe.

Shadow wouldn’t be surprised if he was tied enough to choke.

There was that buckle right by his throat…

Leaving the sir to gather himself up privately, or as privately as they could afford in that moment, Shadow padded away, slowly and taking his time in surveying the place they had been holed up in, taking in every little detail that he may have passed during earlier revisions, now that he had a more advantageous position, and could get closer or see things from a different angle.  He was surprised about the construction, about the little trinkets that now he could see were scattered around, and by the feeling of the walls and the floor under him.

It was really different to anything else he had ever seen or feel before. Or maybe, would it be better to say anything else he remembered having seen before? He…he couldn’t recall.

He couldn’t recall a lot of things. There were names without faces, blood poodles without bodies, faces without name, feelings without sense, and so many hands reaching back for him for unknown reasons floating aimlessly in the blank space of his mind.

This walls were new for him. The texture under his pads, the smell wafting to him… it was like nothing that there ever was in the ark. And yet, the more he stared at things, the more familiar he felt about them.

He surely must have seen them before.

But what was feeling familiarity with something, if you didn’t know what it was?  Or from who? Or why?

Why was he doing this? What was he, exactly, trying to gain, roaming around under the pretense of checking for cameras or video feeds, as if he hadn’t been doing that since he came to himself and finds that he is stuck in this situation?

His memories weren’t there, after all. No matter how many rocks he turned, they wouldn’t come back just like that, right?

There was no point and yet, there he was! Loosing time, doing the same thing over and over while waiting for a different result.

He just…he just needed to do something. He couldn’t just sit there and wait, right?

Just… what was he supposed to do now? He didn’t knew what was his state, or rank if he even had that. Who was an ally, and who was a danger, where was his family or if he had been carrying a mission when something went wrong.

The information he had was shit, and no matter how many times he went over it, it never made more sense! He didn’t even remember looking like that, when had he grow so much?!

What could have happened in those years he missed, or, actually, forgot about?

Just, how much time have passed? What major important events he may have lost? Besides the fact that apparently he was now older than what he thought he would ever get to be, that he was on earth, and that it was also called Movious-or something, not earth, as he had been taught during all this time?

Just, what the fuck?

This was…all of this was just, so fucked up Shadow didn’t even knew where goddamn shit he should start on. The fact that he was alive? How much had he changed? Why couldn’t he remember what happened to him? WHY was he so damaged? What was this guy doing here? Who was that white corpse? Why did that…person… clung to him so tightly?

Just WHAT?!

What was he supposed to do?

He could feel the anger and confusion boiling down on his stomach, fear lacing its way through his body and soon enclosing all of it in its paralyzing mist.

He was scared. No way of trying to downplay it.

He hated it.

Being afraid was never a good thing.

They could practically smell it on you. Feel it on you.

They just fucking knew. And once they knew, and their ego was strocked, fury and disgust would set in.

That sneer would just meant that more pain was going to come.

AO3 link.  

#Sonadow #shadow the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog #sonic fanfiction #Life is a big bad joke #My writing #Does it show that I dont know what I am doing with my life? #Everybody is ooc #Most likely

[aaravos-breaks-the-internet]

【Aaravos liveblogs The Dragon Prince】Season 1, Episode 1

(Note from the mun: Probably best experienced by reading it while watching the episode yourself? Unless you have great memory of the episode’s details, I assume. I didn’t flesh out the descriptions of the individual scenes because the following text alone took me more than three hours and is 12 pages in Word already. Sadly, I forgot to add time stamps. I might edit them in later if I have the time but I hope that it’ll be possible to follow the script without them for now.

With that said, have fun!)

 *The Intro plays. Magical birds are flying over the waves of an ocean.*

Oh, oh my stars… I’m getting a lump in my throat right off the bat…I can watch Xadia everyday thanks to my arcanum’s ability to see into the beyond. Yet, this feels…different. How long has it been since I’ve walked freely in its wonderful landscape, felt the soothing breeze of the Xadian s-

WHAT THE! HOLY SHOOTING STAR! THAT IS MY VOICE. I – what

*His brain enters a state of frantic confusion.*

????!!!???!! This…this is so surreal. Forgive me but I’m – as you people say – absolutely losing it.

….

 ……………

That is- I just can’t believe it.

That Is Me! I’m in the Netflix. My voice is actually, really, in the Netflix!!

*He burries his hands in his hair with excitement. His initial fear is forgotten.*

 [“…rich in magic and wonder.”]

No offense, but I sound GOOD. I mean, technically I know that. But hearing myself like this is so different from hearing my voice from my own perspective.

*He squeals in anticipation.* This is so awesome.

…

Oh, the music is so sweet…

…

That dragon is…well, I guess I can try to ignore him…

…

…Why is he in every shot? Do we really need him to explain the arcanums? He’s not that great. Believe me.

…

Ok, the flight effect is really spectacular. I have to admit that.

Still, stupid dragon.

…

[“…a human mage…”]

OHHHHH I remember that one *he growls*

…

[“…discovered new magic…”]

Yeah, I bet you “discovered” it. I wonder how you “discovered” it. I’d really like to know. You gotta enlighten me about that “discovery” of yours.

…

In loving memory of those poor birds.

…

OH! OH! OH MY STARS! There I am!! It’s me!!! Hey, I actually look decent for a change. Sigh, I miss my old wardrobe. That scarf was my favourite. So silky and soft.

Also, not to brag, but my hair? Nice.

…

Sigh, poor humans. It breaks my heart everytime I think of the split…

…

Still forever impressed that they managed to draw an actual lava line through all of Xadia.

That’s some true dedication to the cause of hating each other. But I guess if it fuels your ambitions…who am I to judge…you idiots…

…

Oh, Thunder…my cherished…friend…

…

[“But in the eve of last Winter’s Turn…”]

*He inhales sharply*

Oh…this is where the future begins…I have yet to experience what is about to be shown…

…

Unspeakable dark magic? *He rubs his temples, visibly annoyed.* Yeah, I already have an idea what that might have been.

You idiots. All of you. Dragons, elves, humans, all idiots!

…

I’m really carrying myself with a lot of grace in this narration. Good job, future me! I can assure you, that is probably not what I have felt on the inside.

…

Welps, guess there goes your family tree, Thunder. My condolences.

…

[“Now the world stands on the edge of all-out war.”]

I’m pretty sure I smashed my head on the table after that line. Again?! AGAIN?! HAVE YOU NOT LEARNED ANYTHING? You incredible fools?!! You like this, don’t you? This is fun for you, there’s no other explanation. Why else would you imbeciles continue to fight each other like little, immature, bratty kindergarden children.

It’s –ARGHASFADADSF

The worst part is – I knew all of this from the very beginning. Why did I – why do I even bother with helping you…

*He takes a deep breath.*

Calm down, calm doooown… *he hums*

Anger is not good for your soul. You’ll just get bitter and start to come up with horrible revenge fantasies. It’s not worth it. Remember that. Caaaaalm…..

……..

Ok. I’m feeling better.

Let’s continue.

…

Is-is that boy drooling on his glow toad? Poor thing…but that begs the question, why does he let it sleep in his bed in the first place. I would not recommend that…at all. *He shudders.*

…

Oh, that’s a very impressive drawing of a drag-………..marshmallow monster? Really?...well, I guess, that’s…human imagination…very…cute.

…

Yeah no, I don’t think the glow toad was scared…

…

Oh my, that poor guard is dead. So many moonshadow elves? Not a chance.

…

Aaaaand, of course he trips.

…

I’m about to eat my cloak. She let him go.

You might as well turn yourself in as voluntary dragon breakfast now.

…

HHHHeeey!! What’s that greasy dude doing in front of my mirror?

Don’t touch it! I hate it when there are grease spots on the glass.

Well, I guess those humans successfully raided Thunder’s lair. At least I’ll have more sunshine now.

Heyheyhey, I said don’t touch it!

It’s not like you could understand any of those runes anyways.

…

What? He is the High Mage? I have foreseen that the High Mage of Katolis will be important to me. But I expected something…else.

Can I never be lucky? Is that what I get for being so kind, so gracious, so willing to sacrifice myself to help you all? Couldn’t fate be nice to me for a change?

Sigh, guess that’s what I have to work with now.

This better not be too tiring…

I mean, he slew Thunder. That’s something. I guess…

…

Noooo, don’t cover the mirror. My sunshine, remember? At least let me have that. I’ve only seen cave walls for the last couple of centuries. I’d love to have a little change of scene.

Damn.

…

*Harrow rising*

“I woke up like this.”

With perfect hair and perfectly dressed. Ah yes, very realistic. Just like me, every morning. (I’ll never tell you if that’s sarcasm or not.)

…

Oh yes, execute him!

Ok, sorry, I guess that came out a little too excited…*cough*

…

That bird’s nice.

…

That bird’s name is…well, I guess it’s a name.

…

He’s surprisingly calm considering he and his whole crew are about to be violently murdered by moonshadow assassins.

That’s some startouch-level coolness.

Impressive.

…

[“…we must find them today…”]

Yeaaaah, good luck with that…

…

Moonshadow elves are always so dramatic when it comes to their acrobatics.

Yeees, you’re very cool. A real ninja. Here, have a pat on the back. Now go back and play with the others.

…

Please don’t tell me you think veteran moonshadow assassins can’t tell the difference between blood and moonberry juice…

…

Aaaand, you think they can’t. *He slaps his forehead.*

I’m foresing that a great assassin career lies ahead of you. Yes, really.

…

*Cough* Wh-who is this very good looking fella, holy shooting star…

I mean.

Who is this?

He looks important. Like an important elf. Probably their leader.

Yes, that must be it. I just deduced that. I’m very smart.

*The coughing intensifies.*

…

*He sees the necklace.*

Nooooooooo, he is betrothed.

Whyyyyyyy fate. Won’t you let me have anything?

…

Did…did he just fall for the moonberry trick?

You’re very beautiful but forgive me, that was very dumb.

…

This face…my stars…

……………………..

 ………………….

………..What on earth is going on with me? Focus you dumb, old startouch elf.

It’s not like you to be so easily impressed with others. There’s absolutely no reason for that.

He’s just a boring, average moonshadow elf.

Whatever those weird, inexplicable, mushy feelings in your stomach are, we are done with those.

No more silly touchy-feely emotions.

Ok, let’s get back on track.

Ha, see, you have no power over me, you ridiculously pretty moonshadow elf!

Glad we sorted that out.

…

Yeah, he can see that.

…

That human village looks pretty sweet actually.

I wonder if they sell bread.

I’d love to have some bread now.

Wait, what?

…

Ah, jelly tarts. I remember those. Never liked them. Not enough chocolate. How can they make pastry. Without chocolate. I will never understand.

…

Those are…some impressive lashes.

Apparently modern day humans in Katolis like to put make-up on their pets?

Isn’t that animal cruelty? Is nobody concerned?

…

That toad is definitely smarter when it comes to this whole jelly tart stealing business…

It’s a bit sad to watch.

Well, at least it helped the human kid out.

Enjoy your tarts. Your sad, little, chocolate-less tarts…

…

Ah, that knight looks like a very smart person.

  Not.

…

He seems as enthusiastic about teaching the artist boy as I am about working together with the greasy wizard.

I relate to you, not very smart but at least good-at-your-trade knight.

…

Geez, this sword fighting lesson is a tragedy.

I’ve read startouch law books that were more uplifting.

…

Love amongst the dragons? Sigh, really? Such an overrated book. Too many dragons.

Ok ok, the love story part is kind of cute.

I guess.

Not that I would know.

As I have never read it.

…

I want to take a moment to thank the universe for not having siblings.

…

I mean, 300 years is nothing. So she’s kinda right? It’s pretty new?

…

*Slaps his face*

No you can’t do it now. That was a bad idea.

You’re noticing that yourself, aren’t you?

…

Is this how you humans court each other?.............

That explains….a lot….

…

Oh? What? He didn’t really stab you? You don’t say. I thought you were dead for real. What a shocking twist of events.

…

Hehe, pushing around those little figures was always the best part of any political meeting.

…

This conversation is off to a rocky start. Don’t do your children dirty like that.

You are evidently muddying the mood of your kids.

…

We have visitors from Xadia…unwanted visitors…look at mee…I’m the human mage…I’m so important…with my condescending voice…I’m so powerfuuuuul…for I am the human mage…

I feel the sudden urge to throw myself from the highest bookshelf in my library.

…

Yes. Yes, I think you’re an idiot, Soren.

…

[“…You’re saying they’ll kill the king?”]

Yeah right. As if Callum could have heard that down there in the courtyard.

He has human ears, not elf ears. *wiggles them in annoyance without noticing*

…

[“…’unstoppable: is just another kind of ‘stoppable’.”]

That’s…not…what?

My head hurts.

Is this the future of dark magic in Katolis?

I’m very concerned now.

…

14 and three quarters?

……………………………

This kingdom doesn’t need any enemies. It’ll take itself down all on its own.

…

[“Think fast.”]

As fast as you, three-quarter-boy?

…

Ah yes, the moonshadow elves. Their leader is talking. He sounds very distressed.

I mean. They murdered the dragon. I understand. I would be very distressed, too.

…

Uh-oh, no, please don’t bind your lives to-

Sigh……………moonshadow elves are so, so very dramatic. It’s painful.

Really annoying a thousand years ago, still really annoying today.

…

Yes, life is precious. Very good, very well observed. So why do you idiots throw it away with stupid binding curses like that? Your assassin career would be just fine without your silly, theatrical honour codes, that you cling to in order to give your life a deeper meaning but that are ultimately very useless and very dumb.

…

You really had to flex your arm like that just to illustrate the binding of the ribbon, didn’t you, moonshadow leader? That was totally necessary. Sure.

…

Ah….Runaan…that is…a nice name.

Which I just assessed factually, neutrally, in a very matter-of-fact manner.

I just noticed. Nothing more.

…

[“What if they know we’re coming?”]

That’s the face of somebody who messed up big time.

…

[“No, I don’t want a stupid jelly tart!”]

Ah, yes. Finally somebody who gets it!

…

Ok, I have to admit…I feel for them though… Poor children.

…

[“…closet full of moon sweaters.”]

*Bursts into laughter*

Closet full of moon sweaters!! That’s-OHHHH Curses! *he growls*

You got me there. Shame on me. Won’t happen a second time. I promise you that!

…

Flopflopflopflopflop

You know…the sound of the moon moth’s wings…right?

…

Yesssss, dramatic horse chase. Follow the moon sweater moth!

…

Well, guess he just…broke off that engagement.

…

Ohhhh, pretty sparkles!!

See? We’re perfect for each other.

He likes sparkles. I sparkle.

A match made in heaven!

…

Soren, they-they’re right in front of you!!

Is this the amount of effort you put into protecting your kingdom? When it is at the brink of freaking war?! Forget the moonshadow elves, you’re the biggest threat to Katolis’ safety…

God, I’m getting a headache.

I hope your father is a bit...brighter or I might have to let the elves and dragons win this thing.

…

[“You lied to me!”]

Ohhhhh, he’s so fierce when he’s angry…

I would never lie to you! *hums*

 Well, because I can’t lie. Which is very annoying sometimes…

…

[“Runaan, I’m sorry!”]

Something tells me that this won’t convince him.

…

[“You let him live but you’ve killed us all!”]

Whoa, Runaan, calm down. She’s a kid. I’m sure that’s not very good for her mental well-being. Cut her some slack.

If this was so important then maybe you should have taken out that soldier yourself. Didn’t occur to you back then? Nope, I don’t think so. Don’t blame her now because you were so bad at planning ahead.

*Shakes his head*

Moonshadow assassin leaders…

…

 Oh, that was it? Already?

That was…surprisingly fun. Not the soul-crushing existential crisis I was anticipating.

What does it say here? Next episode in five seconds? Well, I won’t say no to that…

Maybe I should get myself something to eat…

*He gets up, humming cheerfully.*

#Aaravos #Aarablog #Aaravos roleplay #Aaravos rp #The Dragon Prince #The Dragon Prince roleplay #TDP #Runaavos #Runaaravos #Chaotic Good (AU) Aaravos

[fluffy-marshmallow-heart]

Drake's Diary Ch.3-The Derby

Words: 2036

Early the next day, Drake woke to a knock on his door. He groggily got out of bed and put on some pants. He opened the door to a smiling Liam. “Ugh, Liam, you do know it’s early, right?” Liam just smiled at him. “Maybe according to you, but this is all the free time I have available today, and I needed to ask a favor of you.” Drake opened the door wider to let him in.

“So, Drake. What are your thoughts on Lady Emma?” Drake rose his eyebrows. Of all things Liam might come to him this early in the morning for, he was surprised it was already about her. He knew he liked her, of course, but it was still pretty early in the social season. Drake shrugged.

"She’s ok, I guess. A bit mouthy.”

Liam laughed. “That she is. She’s certainly not afraid of speaking her mind. Which brings me to my visit. Drake….I would greatly appreciate it if you could look after her for me.”

Drake stared at him, confused. “What, like, babysit her?”

Liam shook his head. “Not…exactly. Just…make sure she doesn’t end up lost and wandering into the wrong places. As an outsider she’s an easy target for every other lady here.”

Drake groaned. “So you do mean babysit her.”

Liam sighed. “Look, Drake. I know she’s not your favorite person and if I could do it myself I would in a heartbeat. But we both know I can’t…and you are the only one I trust to keep her out of harm’s way.”

Well geez, when he puts it like that, how can I possibly refuse?” Drake found himself nodding “OK, Liam. I’ll watch out for her.”

Liam grinned and pulled him into a hug. “Thank you, Drake. I owe you.”

“Yeah, you really do” Drake muttered.

Liam took his exit and as Drake started getting dressed he got increasingly annoyed. He wanted to be there for Liam, of course. He would do anything for him. But Emma? From New York? He had conflicting feelings about her from the start. On one hand, he wanted to be around her all the time. Something drew him in, although he couldn’t figure out why. And because he couldn’t figure out why, he wanted to spend as little time with her as possible. He didn’t like the idea of babysitting some girl who had no business being here. But then again, if she wasn’t here, I wouldn’t know her at all. He frowned as he thought of that. He wasn’t sure which was worse.

When Drake arrived at Honeyhill Downs, he took a minute to take everything in. It was crowded and everyone was wearing bright colors and huge fancy hates. He didn’t get the hats. Why would you want to wear a bird’s nest? They look ridiculous. He looked over towards where the press was interviewing the suitors. His eyes immediately found Emma. She was posing for a picture, smiling, and chatting away with the Ana de Luca like they were old friends. How does she have such confidence? Heh. Probably the hat.” Drake smirked to himself as he thought of that. She didn’t look ridiculous though, she looked….good. He watched her disappear into the crowd before he remembered he was supposed to be looking out for her. He thought briefly for a moment to just leave her and head to Liam’s private tent, but he knew Liam would ask about her and he didn’t want to lie. He hurried after her, but in the giant sea of over the top everything he didn’t see her. He started to panic a bit as he went by the ladies’ tent and she wasn’t there. Crap. Liam gives me one job and I completely botch it. He picked up his pace now, searching the crowd for any sight of her, but there was none. He ran to the outskirts of the crowd and that’s when he saw just a glimpse of her heading into the stable. What is she doing there? What would possess her to think to go to the stable, which is not where the race is happening, and think that’s where she should be? Drake heard the door slam and took off running. As soon as he reached the door he heard a scream from inside. He threw the door open and saw a horse rearing up in panic right in front her. She was going to get trampled. He darted over to her and pushed her down into the hay and started calming the horse.

“Whoa there. Whoa.” He gently brushed the horse’s mane and brought his head down to look him in the eye. “Nothin to worry about, big fella. I’ll get this girl outta here for you.” He led the horse back into his stall and closed the door. He turned to face Emma, who was staring at him with her jaw dropped. “Are you ok, Emma?”

“Drake! You saved me!” she exclaimed

“I thought I was saving the horse from injury tripping over you.”

She gave him a dirty look. “Oh. Charming. Did the horse knock the sense out of you?”

Drake smirked. “Nah. I actually got away without a scratch.”

He offered her his hand and she took it. Unfortunately she weighed almost nothing and he pulled her too hard. She ran right into him. “oooph!” 

For a second too long they stayed like that, her in his arms. Drake quickly let go. She still looked mad.

“Why are you even here?”

Drake ran his fingers through his hair. “Look…I…the truth is, Liam told me to keep an eye on you and make sure you don’t end up in the wrong place….exactly like now” He grimaced then continued. “Good thing I listened, huh?”

“He really said that?” she asked. Drake nodded.

“You should really get back to the racetrack and your adoring fans” Drake rolled his eyes and turned to leave when she spoke up

“I’m lost. Maxwell said to look for the pink tents.”

Drake shook his head “He’s wrong. You want the white tents near the starting line. Can’t miss ‘em.” He turned to go again

“You’re not coming?”

Drake smiles, “Nope! I’m due to meet Liam in his private tent. We usually just hang out, drink, watch the race, place bets…it’s pretty sweet.”

Emma nodded. “Ok, take me with you.”

Drake looked at her in surprise.

“What?” She asked.  “It sounds more fun where you’re going. Bring me.”

“I don’t think you’re supposed to” Drink started slowly

She laughed “What are they gonna do? Throw me in princess jail?”

Drake sighs but lets her follow him. They walk in silence, Emma a few steps behind until they reach a private, enclosed tent. “Here. You go ahead. I’ll grab beers.”

Drake walked away then, leaving Emma alone to go into the tent and surprise Liam. I can’t get a single minute alone with him, someone is always around now. I was looking forward to this event and now…ugh. Now I have to deal with a suitor swooning over Liam the whole derby too, cuz I don’t see enough of that as it is.

As soon as he had 3 beers he went back to the tent and opened the flap cautiously, suddenly feeling like a third wheel. He cleared his throat “I hope I’m not interrupting anything…I’ve got beer”

Emma turned to face him “Drake! Of course not. I’m always happy to see you.”

Drake frowned. This was different.  “…You are?” he asked

She beamed at him “Yeah, come join us.”

Liam spoke up “You’re just in time, the last race is about to start. I’m putting my money on Twilight Dash.”

Drake looked at him thoughtfully “I’m going with Marabelle’s Dream. She’s been doing really good this season.”

Liam grinned. “Our usual bet?” He asked

“You know it” Drake replied.

Emma spoke up, reminding Drake she was there “What’s the usual?”

“We always bet each other 10 pushups…But the winner gets to sit on the loser’s back while he does them.” Liam told her

Emma bit her lip and Drake could tell she was holding back a laugh. “That’s…so cute.” She said, grinning.

Drake glared at her. “It’s not ‘cute.’ It’s…rugged. And manly.”

“Yes, very tough I’d say” Liam chimed in “And it seems rude not to include lady Emma. How about this time, she sits on the loser’s back?”

Her eyebrows shot up as Drake replied “Absolutely. We definitely don’t want to be rude.” He turned a smirk toward Emma.  “It’s about to start, let’s take our seats.”

To his immense disappointment Emma took the seat between himself and Liam. He automatically rolled his eyes, and she must have seen it because he felt a kick to his leg as she sat looking out at the racetrack. He noticed she was sitting a lot closer to him than she was Liam. He was able to smell her perfume, and although he had no idea what it was, it smelled really damn good. Intoxicating, even. All three of them leaned forward as the race began. Emma seemed to just listen as Drake and Liam went back and forth about the horses. Drake was thrilled when Marabelle’s Dream won and was covered in flowers.

“Time to pay up!” he told Liam.

Liam sighed. “That’s Drake, never letting me bow out of a bet. But, rules are rules.”

Liam paused a second, then removed his jacket and shirt “Can’t get this wrinkled” he said while winking at Emma.”

Drake just shook his head. This is getting ridiculous.

Emma sat on Liam’s back and he began the pushups. It looked easy. “Maybe I should get on there, too” Drake joked. “Should’ve known she’d be too light.”

Liam finished and started putting his clothes back on. “I must have done something every wrong at some point for you to be my best friend.”

Drake laughed “It’s my job to keep you humble with all these gorgeous women chasing after you.”

Liam turned to Emma “I’m glad you spent this time with us. But, unfortunately, it’s time for you to join the rest of the ladies.”

Drake saw a flash of disappointment cross her face. He looked from Emma to Liam….and sighed “I’ll go see where they are.”

He stepped out for a brief minute then came back in “I saw Maxwell go get the car. The ladies are a few tents down and heading to the picnic. I can show Emma.”

Emma sighed. “If you must.”

Drake walked Emma to where the rest of the ladies were “I guess this is where I leave you. Good luck.”

“Sometimes I’d rather face a rampaging horse than deal with the others” she replied

He looked at her, surprised “I don’t know…you didn’t fare so well in front of the horse.”

“Ha, true” Emma told him.

They stood there looking at each other.

“Hey Drake…”she started “Thanks for saving me”

He scoffed “I know I can be a jerk, but I’d have to be a real low-life to let a horse trample a girl.”

“Well….thanks anyway” She gave him a small smile then turned and walked towards the other suitors.

He heard Hana ask her where she’d been and was shocked when he heard Emma say “Oh, I just got lost.”

He heard Kiara next “That’s embarrassing, it’s only day two, Emma”

He started heading to the picnic, lost in thought. He was surprised that she didn’t brag about being with Liam. Any other lady would have. Instead she chose to embarrass herself. Why would she do that? Why can I not figure her out? As soon as I think I’m close she does something else that throws everything I thought I knew into question.

As Drake walked he tried to put her out of his mind but found himself unable to. She kept creeping right back into his thoughts. He really wanted to hate her, and he wanted her to hate him…but something else was happening. He was…intrigued, although he would deny it if anyone asked. He saw the way her face lit up when he walked into that tent. That was weird…right?

 @imaketerriblechoices @agent-bossypants @blackwidow2721 @sleepwalkingelite @annekebbphotography

All Characters belong to Pixelberry

#the royal romance #the royal romance fanfic #trr fanfic #trr drake #drake walker #drake x mc #drake x emma #choices the royal romance

[meshugana1]

A guy uses a spell to slowly and secretly bimbofy and fatten up his fiance. Oddly enough she gets it to it but decides to punish him when she finds out since he didn't get her permission. She uses the same spell on him but, due to her lower intelligence, she over does it making him a WAY bigger and dumber woman than her.

   Laura Reeves had woken up a little bit earlier than usual today. It was going to be quite a special day for her and her fiancé. Their wedding was only a week away and she had been driving herself crazy getting ready for it but Keaton was being great about it. He was always saying “Don’t fuss, babe,” and “Everything will be ok as long as we have each other.” Her head was filled with these lovely thoughts as it bobbed up and down and she felt the smooth contact of her sleeping man’s dick as it rubbed along her throat. Her new morning ritual wasn’t something she had ever thought of before a few days ago but now she couldn’t imagine waking up without giving her fella a little something. She could feel him twitch as he stirred awake and decided that he didn’t need to come just yet. She pulled off him with a wet pop and said “Good morning, Lovely,” in her sweet tone.

   Keaton was very happy this morning, as would any man be if he was lucky enough to wake up to a sweet blowjob from the perfect woman. When he met her she was pretty, very pretty and best of all she paid attention to him and really cared about him. She wasn’t quite his ideal then but nobody’s perfect, at least that’s what he thought before. Now Laura was a thick blonde bombshell with a fluffy body and perfect curves that giggled and wiggled and reacted to her every movement. When she was a brunette Laura was all about her image and being fit, it was nearly impossible for Keaton to pull her away and just have spontaneous fun. She was pretty type A and if he was honest it put their relationship in a bit of a bind. He was incredibly lucky when he found that antique shop, he was a bit of a collector of supernatural stuff and there he found a genuine spell book! At least he hoped it was genuine, the woman who owned the place wasn’t particularly interested in making a profit on it since she only charged him twenty bucks. He didn’t have much hope when he cast the spell that first time but over the course of the week, Laura really began to improve.

   The most obvious thing to Keaton was her hair. It had always been a light brown but he could barely restrain his excitement when he saw her roots looked brighter, then the next morning the first few inches of her hair had turned blonde. It took over a month for the spell to finish perfecting her but it was worth it. Every day her thighs were a bit bigger, her tummy softer and rounder, and her tits really became amazing. At the end she was an incredible looking woman, her fat tummy jutted in front of her and her thighs just scrapped together. He boobs were much larger and felt so amazing in his hands. Her new body was truly perfect now but the best change was in her mind. She always had to be doing something before or she felt like she would explode. Now all she wanted to do was cook and clean, spend most of her time at home naked and best of all she loved being his sexy little housewife. The only downside was that she got pretty dumb, not Forest Gump dumb but she had become a total ditz. She had to quit her job but even then she seemed very happy. Every time he questioned what he’d done he just saw her chubby butt walk in and her face carried a beaming smile all the time. He supposed that ignorance was truly bliss.

   Laura giggled and shook as she sashayed out of her future hubbies room. She couldn’t help but cover her mouth as she giggled at the secret she was keeping from him. He thought that she didn’t know but she did, she was a total idiot. She could tell that her hair was getting lighter, she just thought it was cute. She could tell that her clothes were fitting tighter and she was getting fluffier, but she really loved it and all the time she wasted at the gym was better spent making sure Keaton was all sexed up. But she still thought it was a little funny that it was harder to think about complicated stuff like money and her old job and especially books and stuff. She liked to read before but now everything just seemed so complicated, even her favorite book “Gravity’s Rainbow” was just way too smart for her. She even tried reading “Twilight” and she liked it but it still felt like tons of stuff was just going over her head.

   She finally figured it out when he was out with one of his buddies and she was cleaning the house, naked of course. Like, the best thing about outgrowing her clothes was that she had an excuse to be naked all the time. She had to get some off the internet though in case she needed to go anywhere. But she was cleaning in his study and she found a little book that had a bunch of notes from Keaton in it. It was really complicated but she could tell it was a magic book! Keaton even marked the spell that he cast on her, he marked it with a sticky note. ‘That was so mean of him! He should’ve asked, I totally would’ve said yes,’ she thought. Then she had a thought, a rare occurrence these days. It was time for a little payback.

   The spell was in some language like French or something and it was hard to pronounce the words, but she figured it out. She wasn’t a total airhead. Keaton came out, still very hard and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, she only cast the spell yesterday and his roots were already blonde. It was probably because she was such an awesome witch, she should read more of that book and become a real witch. “Hey babe, how’s breakfast coming? Loving the naked apron by the way,” Keaton said, “I don’t know why but I’m not feeling so hot this morning.”“Really?” Laura said feigning ignorance, “Maybe someone put a curse on you.”“Maybe if magic was like, real babe. Wait, did I just like, say like?”“Yay! It’s working!” Laura said jumping excitedly, causing her lovely curves to jiggle wildly. Keaton felt the warmth in his cock as a confused erection developed. “Like, what’s working?” he said, once again an unconscious ‘like’ was used.“Hehehe, I found your spellbook, Mr. Wizard! And I cast a spell on you!” Laura said, striking a cute pose with her wide ass jutted out.“You did what!?” He said, his hair was almost completely blonde and it started to grow longer, inching past his ears and tickling his neck.

   Keaton’s face turned pale as his cheeks began to plump up. He could feel the blood in his veins turn cold and he bolted to his study to find the book. He could feel his once trim thighs scrape together more and more with each step and his boxers began to fit tightly as his ass grew and his hips made a cracking sound as they widened, but he felt no pain. He reached his study and tried to find the little book but he couldn’t remember where he placed it. His belly gurgled as it developed a layer of fat and it continued to grow. His chest bubbled and his nipples turned pink and puffy. He grabbed the little pink buttons and moaned out at their sensitivity as the flesh behind them grew and pressed against his hands, soon filling his palms and then some. “Like, Laura! That spell was supposed to take like, a month! You musta said it wrong you, dummy!” Keaton said. He panicked as he felt the heat of his erection dissipate and the rod of flesh that his new fat belly pressed against feeling much smaller. He tried to reach down and fell it but his belly was getting in his way and by the time he maneuvered his hands to his crotch he could only feel a smooth sensitive cleft.

   “Umm, Like sorry babe? You can probably cast an anti-bimbo spell right?” Laura said. She twisted her hands and had a genuine look of regret on her face. “Like, No Laura! These spells are pema…porman…they’re like for keeps!” Keaton said. His grasp on words with more than three syllables was leaving him as well as difficult subjects like math, reading, and basic intelligence. “You dummy,” Keaton said, “Imma dumdum now!” He now looked very much like Laura, but his changes continued. His belly and thighs kept plumping up and his ass ballooned out in kind. Keaton, or more appropriately ‘Katie’, sat on her delicious ass and pouted, no longer had the brainpower to be upset for very long. She sat on the floor playing with her luscious fat tits, not remembering why she came in here.  “Oh geez, I’m sorry babe. But don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll love being a girl. I can introduce you to makeup and like, dresses and best of all cock!” Katie perked up when she heard that word and her new pussy started glistening and a pleasant heat permeated inside her. Her nipples hardened and she tweaked them with a delightful grin. “See? Being a girl can be like, so fun! I’ll go find some clothes for us and we can go to a party or a club and find a guy to pop your cherry! And if he doesn’t work out I can just whip out my little black book here,” Laura said as she pulled the spellbook out from her cleavage, “Just call me Laura the pleasantly plump witch!”

The end. Hope Y’all like it!

#weight gain #bimbo tf #male to female tf #intelligence loss #request

[keezree]

okay here i am with more wizardmon head cannons because why the hell not amirite?some are NSFW ish?? but tame enough i guess?

-Wizardmon canonically can preform simple sleight of hand tricks (rabbit out of a hat, paper into doves etc.) So he sometimes will approach you at random with a cough to get your attention then he’ll do a fucking BOW, FLIP OFF HIS HAT WITH FLAIR AND THEN PULL OUT A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS FOR YOU HOLY SHIT! -(he will always pull out your favourite flowers, he asked you a while back but you forgot and to this day you still think he just magically knows what sorts of flowers you like. he insists it IS just magic) - he WILL say “ta-dah!” The goof. -he will also do card tricks with you amongst other magic tricks. Some of them are actual magic because there’s no way he could have hidden that coin in your pocket. he was nowhere near you, he didn’t even touch you gosh! -He believes that this sort of “show” magic is just as important as magicky magic -He has a bit of a prankster side to him according to the wiki so he’ll do little pranks and things, nothing dangerous but just really silly things that he knows he can get away with. he doesn’t want to upset you and knows you wouldn’t get upset with him really but he wouldn’t want to risk it.  -you wake up one day and open your fridge and all the words on the packaging of things has been charmed to read “Hello there :D” -if he draws or writes the :D face then it always has little stitches on it somehow even if he types it electronically. 

- When he learns about april fools day he loses it and now it’s his favourite day besides halloween because you’re SUPPOSED TO PRANK PEOPLE WHAT A CONCEPT!

- He also canonically can read minds and so when you’re together or you look at him and a lewd thought crosses your mind he sort of just turns to you with this awful smug grin with this “really?” look in his eyes. - He will tease you about these things by feigning intimacy. he’ll pretend like he’s going to caress your leg or butt but then he’ll go to grab something else, a book behind you perhaps? (reaching towards your posterior) “well now, here’s something i’d love to get my hands on...This pencil, luckily it was right there behind you!” he sometimes magically makes an item behind you, sometimes impossibly large, how was that giant tome behind you??? it wasn’t there before? He’s doing on purpose! the goof! -when it comes to actual intimacy he’s such a shy mon! he’s interested but he gets so flustered!  -Is unaware what intercourse is for humans and so you have to explain it and you get flustered and OH! You little goof ball you know what it is you’re just trying to tease me again! His grin is too big to hide.  - You ask one day to hold his ungloved hand and it’s probably the most intimate thing he’ll do without being too shy.  -Digimon supposedly have no reproductive organs however Wizardmon can learn transformation magic so he could give himself bits! Or perhaps because of Wizardmons unique nature he may have them already? Or this is an alternate universe where they do have genitals and ??? I don’t know i just like the idea of Wizardong being able to be a thing! -Never in a million years call it wizardong because he will either completely lose it laughing or he will never want to expose it again because he’ll never get the word out of his head. -He finds it hilarious if you call them bits because that is a currency in the digital world. -Despite how hard he tries it still has stitches on it ( if he uses magic to form genitals) -You have to take it sloooow with him. You must woo this mon with romance and candles and maybe incense and soft pillows.  -Treat him gentle! soft kisses! cuddles! praise and hugs! He’s nervous and shy and he never, NEVER shows himself to anybody but he cares for you and wants to be close to you in any way and every way and wants to be a part of you so much but goodness! He so shy it’s so adorable. -He trusts you completely, you’d never hurt him or take advantage of him and that makes him love you all the more. -He’s not really the type to pussyfoot around things. if he has to say something he will. Like if someone is a cruel being or if he notices that there’s something wrong and you need help but good grief this guy has the hardest time saying sweet things to you.  -The day he says “i love you” is such a big moment and he’s maybe shaking a little? though not enough for you to see, he grips his staff tightly to hide his hands trembling. he either looks anywhere but your face or looks directly into your eyes because if he chooses neither of these things to focus on he knows that the words won’t escape his mouth.  -It has taken him weeks to work up the courage to say it because it feels so FINAL and he’s worried perhaps you’ll go seperate ways one day? (you won’t) and what if he’s only a crush to you? (he’s not) and all of these things whirl around inside his head but damn it if the world is going to end one day and he has found you in this lifetime then that MEANS something and he’s going to ACT on those feelings. enough is enough. he’s done arguing with himself. -The day he does say it seems all planned out. you know something is up but you’re not quite sure what. You trust that if he needs to say something or if he’s doing something then it’s probably best just to play along.  -He knows you know, or maybe it’s just his nerves. Now he HAS to say it, there’s no backing out. -when you say it back there’s this huge weight lifted off his shoulders and that’s that. you say it to each other almost every morning and every night now. but in whispers. No one else hears because he wants only your ears to hear it. (help my heart! fuck what am i doing to myself) -he really likes onesies, like adult onesies that can be animal forms with hoods or high collars on them because they are like his suit but some of them are fleece? and you buy one for him one day when he gets uncomfortable being outside his suit when it’s being washed and he LOVES IT AND ITS SO SOFT AND NOW MAYBE HE WON’T TAKE IT OFF AND WEAR THIS INSTEAD OF HIS SUIT! GOSH DANG IT!  -It has stars or moons or both and he ?????? It’s bLUEEE?? He can change it’s colour too if he wants woah!!!  -He charms the moons and stars to shift around sometimes just for fun or practice or to see if you notice and when you do you’re enthralled and he’s happy he was able to make you smile gosh! DANG IT GOSH! -It’s so soft on him and you want to hug him all the time now. Well you did before but now he’s extra cuddly. -He is so smooool. he’s officially 4′9′’ I believe? -you can pick him up -you do pick him up! -He hates it, how embarrassing! -He loves it, you can carry him bridal style and he SHY??? -”Do you really have to keep picking me up? sigh... Well I suppose I’m in no position to stop you. If this is what you want.” he tilts his hats brim down to hide his smile -He can heal himself by stitching himself up? -If you know how to sew you will help him with places he can’t reach well, like his back.  -He’s a bit embarrassed that you want to help him and if he has to take off any part of his suit to let you then he demands a blanket or uses his cape to cover himself. Even if you have been intimate or have seen his bare form before he will still always cover up.  -He will never go swimming with you because he can’t. however if you take him to the beach and you’re in your swimwear he is completely torn between being unable to look away while at the same time he’s frustrated with himself that he’s ogling you. “Get it together mon! Geez! they’re not some piece of meat to be stared down hungrily. but...their butt is really nic-NO STOP!”  -If and only if you were ever somehow alone swimming, maybe perhaps might maybe perchance he would TRY swimming but. BUT.  he.would.wear.FLOATIES! those arm floaties that go around your biceps and he’d be a wretch about it the whole time, staring at them. no, glaring at them but you can’t help but think it’s cute and he KNOWS you think its cute and he’s “okay no that’s it I’m getting out of the water now. I’m perfectly fine over here on the towel.” -he gets back in because you’re there and jeez help your little heart he’s so fricken cute.  -He needs five towels to dry off because he absorbed some of the water because he is made of fabric poor thing. Lord help him if he ever spills any sort of dark pigmented liquid on himself. -luckily he can use his magic to remove the stains. he’s had practice taking care of his plush doll body. -you want to call him nicknames and sweet endearing names but the only one you can think of is DOLL AND IS THAT VERY APPROPRIATE MAYBE JUST STICK WITH WIZZ??? he might get MAD or worse SAAAD! oh no! AHHH that’s it for now i need to go eat food and I have so many more but this is it for the second episode of mel rambles about plush wizard boy. tune in next time for another exciting episode of god damn it help my little heart this stitched little wizard fella gives me such complex feelings that it hurts but i love it anywaaaay okay byeeeee i love you  and SEND ME YOUR HEAD CANNONS IF YOU HAVE ANY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! i need to hear about him all the time forever this is so unhealthy but i don’t caaaare he is my fuel that keeps my spirits fire ignited! He is like the night skyyyyy every time you look up at the stars each night it’s almost like you’re seeing it for the first time no matter how many times you look at it, it always feels new and magical and he gives me that exact same feeeeeling! hELP ME!  i would use that line on him! For real i would nd i would WIN HIS HEART...CORE???YeAH! stop it mel fuck ok bye  

#wizardmon #wizardmon headcannons #more headcanons #i love him god damn it #wizzy wizzy wizzy wizz #save yourselves

[bigbadwolf619]

MRKZ Chapter 1 The Grizzly Huntsman's Return

{6 Months after the Fall of Beacon on an unknown island a secret base was on fire after a rampage} Maxy: Rrrrrr! {slashes away a black armored knight with his staff while bloodied} Black Knight: Daargh! {breaks through a pillar sliding on the ground}...fool...heretic...I thought you Huntsmen hunted down Grimms! Maxy: {breathing heavily wiping the blood off his lip} I'm no Huntsman, nor an Agent, I am here to end a corruption that hasn't died out! And like your "brothers" {drops an odd knife} I'm gonna make sure all of you die! Black Knight: Hmhmhm...fool...we all thought you were dead Grizzly Huntsman...but now that we know you're alive that changes things! Ahahahaha! Everywhere you go, whenever you sleep or eat we will be there, we'll find you and make you suffer, we'll kill everyone close to you, your family and friends! {throws a chain blade at him} Maxy: {catches it between his fingers}...Find me? No, 6 months I haven't slept or eaten properly, because all I do now is find your people and kill {wraps the chain around his neck choking him} Black Knight: Gaaaargh! Arrgh... Maxy: I will find all who served Ryzen Schwarz! All those responsible for my old Squad, Beacon and the Laark family! {snaps his neck} (6 Months after the Beacon incident and after finding out my own people have been overrun by some old enemies I became a rogue agent, I use to be Huntsman working for Atlas with my young stepbrother Ricky before we faked our deaths and were turn young again, of course it wasn't without consequence, our abilities and skills greatly went down, at Beacon we were barely able to hold back the threats, my new team members separated, Kalista stayed with Captain Prince, for her safety Ricky had to split from her, as for Zalick) I know he isn't the type to run away, wherever he is I hope he isn't dead, all I have now is me and my brother, Atlas must deal witha new threat, well an ancient threat really, Ozpin is gone and G.R.I.M.Ms is under new management, the Black Claw is back, but with Salem's attack and spread of fear they have taken advantage of the noise and are secretly taking over, I made it my primary objective to stop them all, I killed them before and I'll kill them again, I've trained for 6 months to be what I was when I was older, now here I am, hunting the claw once more) {on top of dark tower while there is a storm and rain} Maxy: {pushes back a muscular Grimm Hybrid with sharpteeth} Rrrrgh! Grimm Hybrid: I will bring your head to Lord Ryzen when he awakens again! Rrrarararar {swings his large claws} Maxy: {deflects his attacks with his staff} You wanna serve a dead man?! Grimm Hybrid: Lord Ryzen cannot diiiiiie! Rrrr! {slashes his Staff & pushes him back} Maxy: Grrrrgh! {feet slides as he struggles} I've killed him before...and I'll kill him again! {eyes go black & yellow as he dashes off like he teleported} Grimm Hybrid: Whoa! What the?! {gets multiple slashes in the back} Gaaaaargh! Maxy: {appears & slashes his horn off} Haar! Grimm Hybrid: Daargh! Grrrrrrraaaar! {punches the ground as it break} Maxy: Ah crap! {falls in the tower as the floor breaks} Whoooooa! {bounces in the air} Huur! {lands on his feet} Grimm Hybrid: {lands breaking the ground} Rrr! Maxy: Grr, come on then! Grimm Hybrid: {throws a table at him} Hrrr! Maxy: {moves left dodging without much effort} Grimm Hybrid: You killed my brother! I will have your head! Maxy: Don't worry you'll be joining him soon enough Grimm Hybrid: Grrrraaaar! {lunges at him at high speed} Maxy: {easily dodges all his claw swipes} The pressure you give the air is heavy, every move you make I feel, no matter how fast you are you'll always be predictable! {grips his arm} Grimm Hybrid: Grrr! Huh? What the hell?! {struggles} Why can't I break out?! Maxy: The Feral Grip Technique, no matter how strong you are so long as I don't let go you're screwed Grimm Hybrid: Grrrrrr! Son of a bi-{gets impaled} gurgh! Maxy: Hurts don't it? Grimm Hybrid: Grrrrr! {tries to swipe his head} Maxy: {ducks & flips him over} Rrr! Grimm Hybrid: {slams through a wall} Urgh! Maxy: {throws his Staff like a Javelin} Grimm Hybrid: Argh! {gets impaled to a power box then gets electrocuted to death} Gaaaargh! Aaaaargh! Aaaaaaaaargh...{fades away like a Grimm} Maxy:...Hm {arm is bleeding from his previous battles}...{passes out} {in a white bedroom} ????: {white haired woman} Max...Max {sleeping next to him} Maxy: Hmm...{yawns awake} Hey beautiful ????: Hmhm, you love dancing with death don't you? You're really helpless without me Maxy: All I think about is you, that day... ????: Max, I made my choice, I had to do what I did for peace Maxy:...{caresses her cheek} You should have taken me with you...I'm lost without you...Claire... Claire: You have a life to build, you have family and friends to care about, Mama Laark would be upset losing her son Maxy:... Claire: I love you Max Maxy:...Claire... Claire:...Now it's time to wake up, wake up... {back to reality} Maxy: {wakes up from his injuries} Grrgh! {gasping}...{slowly gets up}...gotta get outta here {the base goes on fire as he escapes} Maxy: {holding his arm as he limps out} Grrgh...well you guys were patient to wait for me how generous Black Claw Troops: {all aim their weapons at him} Maxy: Hehehe...great Black Claw Troops: {all get struck by orange lightning with an explosion} Aaaaargh! Maxy: Huh? Ricky: Max! {leaps down on a troop & stabs his neck} Hrr! Black Claw Trooper 1: Gurgh! Ricky: {grabs another & stabs him in the chest repeatedly before throwing a kunai at another} Black Claw Trooper 2: Gargh! Gurgh! Black Claw Trooper 3: {stabbed in the eye} Daargh! Maxy: Rrrr! {charges & chops into a troop} Black Claw Trooper 4: Urgh! Maxy: Hrrr! {throws him to another} Black Claw Trooper 5: Argh! Oh crap! Maxy: {blasts an energy orb from his staff obliterating them}...Well didn't expect you Rick Ricky: You dumbass, like I'd leave you behind Maxy: Haha! My bro! {bro fists & hugs} Good to see you again! Glad you recovered Ricky: Yeah well I wasn't gonna lay about while Remnant went to crap, speaking of which you an ass for not taking me before and you're an ass for leaving Mama Laark behind Maxy: She's safe Ricky: And now she wants to give you beating, man you look like crap Maxy: Yeah well I've been huntin Ricky: I thought you weren't a Huntsman anymore Maxy: No, I'm just a Predator now Ricky: Well Mr Predator, Mama wants to see you, so grow a pair and let's go Maxy: Yeah-Yeah {follows him} Ricky: We'll come back here later Maxy: No need {pulls out a detonator & presses it blowing everything up} Ricky: Geez man! Where the hell did you get that?! Maxy: I had Green make it for me before I went rogue Ricky: Adam Green? Huh... Maxy: I'm serious in taking down the Claw Ricky: Well before you do, let's head back {grabs his arm as he teleports them both back home} {They end up back to their old huge village called Hawe which was like a Ghetto} Ricky: Welcome back to Hawe Max Maxy: Damn...it's good to be home {both walk in} Man 1: {walking by} Whoa! Max?! Maxy: Sup? Man 2: Dude is Maxy, he's back Man 3: Yo Maxy! Good to see you man! Woman 1: It's been years! Child 1: Maxy! {waves} Welcome back! Maxy: Timmy, oh damn you getting tall little man, you might get taller than me {rubs his head} Child 1: Hehehe! Child 2: Maxy, why did you go? Maxy: New work, had to move, but I'm here Child 3: {pouts} Yeah, for now at least Maxy: Hey I'm sorry for being gone ok? After I'm done with...work, I'll be here Children: Really?! Maxy: Yep Children: Yaaaay! Maxy: You guys run along now Ricky: You see? Everyone misses you Max, Hawe hasn't been the same without us Maxy: Wish we never left, but we had a job in Vale Ricky: Hold it, who the hell are those guys? Maxy: Hmm? {sees a group of white-clad people} Hmm...hey Randy, who are those guys? Randy: {shopkeeper} Some members of the White Fang, they seek to talk with you and Rick Max Maxy: Damn you Khan...let's go Rick Ricky: Easy way or hard way? Maxy: Let's try easy 1st, fellas, can I help you? White Fang 1: You are Maximus Laark, the Grizzly Huntsman? Maxy: {sighs} Yes... White Fang 2: So the rumors of your death were false? Maxy: Where are you going with this? White Fang 3: An alliance with the 1 who took down the false god Ryzen Schwarz will help our cause, with skills like yours we can turn the tide Ricky: What tide? Oh you mean the masscre at the Academy? White Fang 2: Silence human! You have no say in the matter Ricky: Oh that's rich coming from some losers working for some humans, being their lapdogs White Fang 2: What did you say?! Ricky: You heard me, pup White Fang 2: Grrrr... White Fang 4: Enough! The wolf here may not be a faunas but he does indeed have the spirit of 1, being raised by the Laarks is indeed a blessing Ricky: Listen to nice lady fido White Fang 2: You- White Fang 4: Eren!...Back to the boat White Fang 2:... Ricky: Attaboy White Fang 2: {glares at him} Ricky: {whistles} White Fang 2:...{walks off} White Fang 4: Apologies Maxy: So the Fang wants us over? Why the call? I thought you guys were owning the humans White Fang 1: Currently after the damages done in Beacon Academy we have been targeted a lot more Maxy: Gee, I mean why would a massacre anger a lot of people? White Fang 4: Save the jest, we know of our mistake Maxy: And now you live with the lives of a thousand young students who barely hit maturity, I bet sleeping is a breeze for all of you White Fang 3: Alright! We get it! We did something horrible and now we must take that in Maxy: Was that Khan's orders or was it someone else? White Fang 4:... Ricky: I think you guys know, Adam Taurus Maxy: The youngblood? Oh bravo to you guys {claps} you left the leadership to an angry kid White Fang 1: We're afraid of his...choices, many of the other members have already taken his side...I fear Sienna Khan's life is in danger Maxy: She made her choice, she gets killed that's on her White Fang 4: You're a protecter like Maverick, are you not?! Don't you care?! Maxy:...We're done here White Fang 4:...You'll never be like Maverick {walks off} Maxy: As I remember, Dad only saved your people, he never worked with you, so don't you dare talk about him like you know him, beat it White Fang 1:...{all of them go off} Ricky:...That red haired was pretty cute though Maxy: Yeah Mama Laark: Maximus Roadkil Laark! Maxy: Oh crap...Mama! Mama Laark: Don't you Mama me boy, Imma whoop yo ass for shootin off like goddamn Hermes boy {gets her belt} Imma beat you ass good, come here! Maxy: Mama come on! {runs off} I'm sorry! Mama Laark: Say sorry to my soles boy! Maxy: Mama please! {goes behind a pillar} I'm sorry ok! Mama Laark: You leave me behind, you even leave you baby brother behind Ricky: Exactly Maxy: Ok! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I was angry and stupid Mama Laark: And boy you are mess, is that your blood?! Maxy: Err some of it Mama Laark: You dopey boy, get yo ass over here {grabs his arm & takes him in the house} Maxy: Mama- Mama Laark: Sit Maxy: {sits down on a seat} Mama Laark: Rest up, I'll get the First Aid Maxy: But Mama I got no time to rest Mama Laark: Hush boy and rest, you can whoop some ass later, geez we need to stitch this and this Maxy: Mama I'm fine I don't need this Mama Laark: Shut up and rest Maxy: {sighs & slowly closes his eyes} Ricky: It's good to have you back Max Maxy: Heh...{goes to sleep} Claire: {voice}...Hm...what are you gonna do without me? END

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 8: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

S: I don't think anyone wants us to debate river heights.

[Intro music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast an episode by episode recap of the generation 1 Transformers cartoon.  I'm Owls!

S: And I'm Specs!

O: And today we're gonna be talking about episode number 8, SOS Dinobots. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yeah!

O: So today--today we get Grimlock! Look at my perfect dino child!

S: [laughs] Oh you really like him.-- [unintelligible]

O: [talking over Specs] I love Grimlock!  And I haven’t gotten to talk about Grimlock and now I get to talk about Grimlock!

S: And at the Ark the Autobots are talking about a series of ‘mysterious earthquakes’.

O: Which, they’re in a volcano, I don't really know what they expect--there not to be seismic activity, but OK?

S: Considering that it woke them up, or at least it woke the Decepticons up prior to Starscream's…

O: Stupidity.

S: Yeah.

O: [laughs] Poor decision-making.

S: Ironhide apparently has Sonadar sensors--he decides to use them.  I don't know what the hell a Sonadar sensor is?

O: Excuse me, his what now? [laughs]

S: [laughs] S--Sonadar!? Sonar?  I don’t know!

O: I swear I looked it up and it was Sonadar!  It was not Sonar, it was Sonadar, and I was like what the fuck, man!?

S: What the hell!?  But--yeah, ok.  Apparently Ironhide's windshield also doubles as a monitor.

O: He is starting to feel like the Swiss Army knife of the Autobot army?

S: He--I mean, geez, he kind of is..

O: I just--he keeps pulling shit out and I’m like--where are you getting this shit from, man?

S: I feel like all of them do that to some extent but definitely Ironhide.

O: Yeah, I feel like he's done it the most in the last like four episodes though.

S: Yeah...he's got a lot of space in his trunk.

O: Goddammit.

S: [laughs]

O: Goddammit.

S: I did not say he’s got a lot of junk in his trunk this time!  (Except he does.)  God, I said it.

O: I blame you!

S: Anyway, he scans the rock wall and his sensors recognize something's behind the wall and so they set Sideswipe and Brawn to break through because Sideswipe’s got like, piledrivers and Brawn’s basically just a wrecking ball.

O: [laughs] A wrecking ball on legs.  So, inside they find some weirdly well-preserved dino bones. In a volcano.  An active volcano.

S: Archeologists would be ready to fucking murder these robots.  Particularly Wheeljack considering he actually picks up some of the bones, well, considering how he handles them.

O: Dude, he's Wheeljack, he does what he wants!

S: He does. He really does. And Spike explains fossils to the robots, oh my god.

O: But then, uh, we--we’re back at another hydropower plant slash dam.

S: And Soundwave exhibits….a purple listening tentacle.

O: I gotta cut it he's like in, he-he's in like his boombox mode--

S: Yeah..

O: --exhibiting a purple listening tentacle.

S: It's just...ffrrmm, it’s up there lik--god it’s sort of like, a snake charmer’s snake.

O: A little bit--but I hav--like, is this where Transformers Prime got all his tentacles from!?

S: Maybe? I mean there's a weird  number of tentacles in this stupid cartoon.

O: Ah, yeah.

S: I love it but it's really dumb. It's really really weird. And Soundwave and Reflector are listening to the tourists [to] gather information.  As--as was mentioned earlier Soundwave’s in boom box form. Reflector, for whatever reason, is just hanging out as a Polaroid camera.

O: [laughs] And this seems bad, as in, like, wouldn't this be completely useless? Have you met tourists? Do you really think you would get relevant information from them?

S: Well, I mean the thing is, they're not even like up for the tourists are; they're down on a ledge underneath like--

O: Like yeah, underneath where they’re standing and I-I'm gonna go with they can only hear them because the--of the listening tentacle.

S: Considering that yeah, there's what a waterfall or something?

O: Eh-well yeah, because it's a dam so I think it's where some of the water is coming through.

S: It’s just, like, god--yeah.  And then they NYOOOM off, and absolutely no one notices.

O: I’m just going to go with humans do not notice shit in this world.

S: My god, maybe it's like that thing where if you're focusing on something you would completely ignore a dude in a gorilla costume if it walks right by you.

O: I mean...maybe they were so fascinated by the dam that they didn't notice--I want to say they flew off in their alt modes but I can't actually remember?  So they didn’t notice a Polaroid camera and a boom box flying by.  [laughs]

S: Yeah, I don't remember either but yeah, it's...however it happens it's still goofy as hell.

O: So, uh, back with Spike, uh, he takes the bots to a museum to see more dino bones...or at least Hound?  He took Hound.

S: Yeah, he at least takes--he definitely takes Hound.  Maybe some of the others are scoping out some of the other stuff but, there's definitely Hound in there. How the hell does he fit?  How does he fit in the building?

O: Museums are huge in this world apparently?

S: Or at least they've got super big doors--

O: Apparently, or big enough a Jeep can drive through.

S: Or maybe they went through, like, the cargo entrance or something?

O: That still begs the question how the hallways would be big enough for a freakin’ robot.

S: Yeah!  Yeah, and I mean what sort of museum this is--cuz I'm pretty sure the one back at my hometown did not have dinosaur bones.

O: No clue.

S: Maybe--maybe or--maybe they’re in the Portland museum?  I have no idea  [sigh]  Oh look--some inaccurate bones like, god that fore leg looks like a back leg uhhh….

O: Okay!  Welcome to my TED Talk, today I’m going complain about how no one bloody understands how the front legs work on a quadruped!  It drives me nuts!

S: [sigh] Yeah...and meanwhile Hound takes holograms of the dinosaur fossils to show to the rest of the Autobots, which they do when they get back to the Ark.

O: So, while Hound is displaying these holograms for the other Autobots, Spike explains that dinosaurs were very powerful but very, very dumb.

S: So dumb.

O: So...Wheeljack has the brilliant idea of creating some dinosaurs for the Autobots.

S: While Ratchet looks on like, “Oh god, honey no,” but he totally resigns himself to joining in on this little project too.

O: [Questionable Wheeljack impression] “Ratchet!  Let's make babies!!!”

S: [laughs] He's actually pretty gung-ho about it--it's less resigned and more like yeah, this seems like a great idea!

O: [laughs]

S: They're totally--he's just as into it as Wheeljack is.  And Prime says, “Sure, why the fuck not?”

O: [singing] Are you ready for a montage!?

S: And we see a montage of the Autobots building the Dinobots.  As the joke goes, “the fun part is making the baby!”

O: Oh my, they get everyone involved here.

S: They really do.

O: And so back at the Decepticon base uh, Soundwave, Laserbeak, and Reflector have reported in.  Megatron wants this damn damn so they can destroy the Autobots once and for all.

S: [laughs] Oh my god, maybe just stick some stupid propellers outside your ship and let the currents do this or set up a...solar power.  You can probably float something nice on the water and you wouldn't have to deal with any of this and the Autobots would have no idea where the hell you are Decepticons.  Please!

O:  This has been Specs’ TED talk. [laughs]

S: It’s just you’d think they'd have...they’d come up with a better way of dealing with this, unless they absolutely just, they--they do this--

O; They don’t have the parts or something?  But, again I think they would.

S:I feel like, I feel like--I mean, god they made like a freaking giant underground city just out of their ship and whatever else was around there.  I feel like they could probably manage this, except maybe the buoyancy bits?

O: Even so though, I agree with you on the currents thing or something that can generate electric--at least generate electricity or something.

S: I feel like they--

O: And since they make Energon from like these dams and electricity anyway, that's seems like it should be able to suit their needs.

S: It would make sense but apparently they're just like no, we've got to make everything difficult and also we like fighting.

O: Apparently. Uh, so basically Starscream's being a bitch about this plan and Megatron is just like, “Decepticons prepare for conquest!” and then they all ollie out--out of there.

S: Yeah...and at the Ark, all the Autobots are lined up to meet the new dino children.  Like, they are literally--

O: Lying down!

S: --lying against the wall and they’re--for whatever reason, they're not in the same room Teletraan’s in, but they aren't doing this outside.  They're doing this in the stupid Ark.

O: Yeah. So, uh, Ratchet and Wheeljack are super proud parents, dammit!

S: So proud.

O: They are.

S: So proud.

O: So proud, that, uh, I believe Ratchet starts talking with Wheeljack’s voice?

S: [laughs] Probably!  Maybe?  And the Dinobots are huge like, they’re--they're tall--

O: They’re really big.  Compared to the other Autobots.

S: They're big fellas. So it's Grimlock, Slag, and Sludge, the original Dinobots.  Cuz...Swoop and Snarl get added...later.

O: Later, yeah.  So uh, please note that more recently Slag’s name has been changed to Slug on account of the word ‘slag’ being a slur in Britain.  We are going to continue to use his original name for now as that is what he's referred to, uh--

S: In the G1 cartoon.

O: Yeah and we're located in the US, where this word does not have the same meaning. However, please let us know if we need to make a bleeped version available or something?  Because we certainly don't want to cause…

S: Offense.

O: Offense to anybody it's just we are not in that culture and it's gonna be confusing if we're trying to swap back and forth when the cartoon is calling him something completely different.

S: Yeah.

O: So Huffer says something sarcastic.

S: So it's like, “Shut up Huffer!”

O: You know, normal.  Um so, I think Huffer says something to the effect of, “What else can they do?”  It’s like, well buddy, it can destroy the fuck out of shit.

S: They really can as is demonstrated very shortly.

O: [laughs]

S: And Wheeljack says the Dinobots have simple brains just like real dinosaurs...oh this is not…

O: This seems like a bad idea.

S: This is not a plan for success.

O: So naturally, uh, the Dinobots start attacking.

S: You really think they would have done a test run somewhere else besides the main room with Teletraan.  [Well, near the room with Teletraan]  Like, maybe they could have gone outdoors…?

O:  Or something!  But no, we’re--we’re gonna do it in here, this is definitely the better option.  [laughs]

S: [sighs] Oh god.  Bumblebee tries to stop Grimlock from getting into the control room to which Spike says, “You'll need some help!” and hops inside.

O: What exactly is the help you're planning on rendering here, little buddy?

S: Unfortunately, it really looks like being a smear on the pavement.

O: Uh, so Grimlock blows up Teletraan 1.

S: How did Teletraan 1 even attract Grimlock’s attention?  It's not shiny, it's not moving, it's not making noise.

O: [laughs]

S: Apparently it's just got Grimlock...attractant, or something?

O: It’s [got] a giant target painted on it.

S: Pretty much.

O: So the Dinobots are nigh indestructible apparently as the Autobots are having some pretty severe difficulty doing much to them.

S: Well, they basically did make them to be indestructible.

O: I mean, yes, so they're doing their job.

S: They did their damndest and then Prime shouts at the--at them, “The Dinobots must be destroyed!”

O: Woah, what the fuck, dude!?!

S: They're your babies!  They--you've no one to blame but yourselves.  You made them dumb, on purpose!  Unless the issue is that you just didn't have the parts to make their brains more sophisticated--

O: Regardless, I feel like this is not their fault and uh, clearly Wheeljack agrees with me.

S: Uh-huh.

O: Because Wheeljack basically knocks out his babies and begs Optimus to not kill them. But uh, Optimus is a dick and the Dinobots are buried back in the cave from whence the dino bones came from.

S: [laughs] Oh god, Optimus we don’t stick babies in the closet!

O: And Wheeljack is sad.

S: Very sad, and meanwhile the Decepticons are attacking the hydro power plant.  We see Soundwave, Megatron, Thundercracker in robot mode.

O: [laughs] Instead of in jet mode!

S: And a very svelte Brawn flying in or just someone who's colored like Brawn?  We never see them again.

O: [laughs]

S: And then we see Skywarp and Starscream, question mark, question mark, question mark???

O: Teletraan 1 appears to be the robot 911 center as the humans in the hydropower plant attempt to contact the Autobots to say, “Hey!  We're being attacked by fucking Decepticons!”

S: It does not work.  It does not go through, on account of Teletraan 1 still being fucking broken.  As Ratchet is attempting repairs.

O: Meanwhile, Ravage continues to show his complete hatred of windows.

S: Security windows even!

O: He goes right through.

S: Yup.

O: Um, as Soundwave sends him in to stop the humans from contacting the Autobots and everyone gets eye beams today!

S: You get eye beams, you get eye beams, everyone gets eye beams!

O: Let's see, we've got two Dinobots and Ravage with eye beams in this episode, why?

S: It's the hot new thing and all the kids have [them].

O: [laughs]

S: And Megatron claims the right of conquest over the hydropower plant.

O: I don’t know why I find that funny, but I do. [laughs]

S: It’s just, it seems like it's really--

O: [Questionable Megatron impression] “I claim the right of conquest over this human installation!”

S: It seems...like, it feels like he's claiming right of conquest over the grocery store.

O: YES!  Yes!

[laughter]

O: Okay, so, uh, with Teletraan 1 out of commission, apparently Hound is the Decepticon monitor today.

S: Sans Cliffjumper to--today, thankfully...but he is human-sitting Spike

O: When aren’t they?  Hound contacts Optimus and warns him that Decepticons are out causing...shenanigans.

S: Like, part of his head lights up--it’s--I think it might have blinked a bit?

O: It was weird.

S: Yeah, and Prime says he'll meet Hound at the Great Falls in eight thousand astro seconds. [muffled groan]

O: I fucking hate all of you.  [laughs]  Just want you to know that!  Um--

S: Can we please have some consistency in this?

O: I just want to know what it means! Look, either don't use human time measurements or do, I don't particularly care but I do know maybe you guys should pick one.  Considering you're not assholes and you work with Spike, and, uh, Sparkplug all the fucking time, I’m actually going to bank on you[‘d] probably swap over to human measurements of time.  At least when talking to humans anyway.

S: That would make the most sense, but…

O: Anyway! Prime has a very abstract-esque Autobot symbol in the shot.

S: It looks super, super ass grumpy.

O: Also apparently, part of his helmet sort of pops up as a communicator?

S: Which is kind of cool.  And Bumblebee is on guard duty, due to earlier injuries while fighting Grimlock.

O: Meanwhile, the Decepticons are calmly gathering a fuck ton of Energon and, uh, Ironhide is cosplaying as Ratchet again.

S: Deep down he totally wants to be a medic.

O: [laughs]

S: I mean he just wants to add more to his Swiss Army knife set of skills.

O: [laughs] Oh god--it’s like, no dude, let Ratchet keep this.  So, uh Prime doesn’t sense any Deception activity.

S: But it's okay, cuz it's official Bluestreak has Shaggy's laugh.

O: And I love it.  In all seriousness it's really funny to me that we've got Fred, Shaggy, and the original Scooby Doo's voice actors here which are Megatron, Bluestreak and Ratchet respectively, if anybody was unaware.  Watching Frank Welker swap between Megatron and Fred Jones's voice is freaking fantastic by the way.  [I can’t unhear Scooby every time Ratchet talks now.  HELP. ~Owls]

S: I think I’m going to have to find that because I don’t know if I’ve seen it--

O: I-I know there's a clip and if we can find it I--we will link to it.  Um, but yeah, no, it is it's pretty delightful.

S: I’d really like to see that, yeah, or hear it.

O: So uh, Decepticons come out of their super lame hiding spots to attack.

S: Apparently a bunch of the Autobots moved off-screen within the last three seconds?

O: Because suddenly there's way fewer of them.  Uh, nobody can hit shit in this fight.

S: But I mean when can they ever, apparently?

O: This is true. Uh, Megatron takes the high ground with a big-ass cable powering his Fusion Cannon as he has Rumble cause an earthquake under the Autobots.

S: He also laughs, but there is no sound.

O: Yeah.

S: None at all.

O: He shoots the ledge out from under the Autobots and they proceed to fall into the water.

S: They were in--they were all in super goofy poses on--all the way down looks like someone's upside down, someone is sort of flailing, someone looks like they’re--maybe--I don't if remember someone looked like they were swan diving. Maybe?  I don’t know.

O: I don't think so.

S: But they all looked really silly.

O: They did look very silly.

S: And none of them can swim right now as they're dragged down river.

O: How strong is that current!?!

S: I mean they're all heavy ass robots, so--

O: You wouldn’t think a current would be able to move...however man fucking tons of metal that is!  Or that they’d be able to stand in the river!

S: Well, I guess it's a really deep river, or something?

O: Apparently?

S: We still don't know, like, the official, like, heights.  I think people tend to--at least I tend to default to like somewhere like 27, I think for--

O: 27 between 40 depending on who we’re talking about.

S: Yeah--

O: So obviously the Dinobots and Megatron are--

S: higher--

O: --a lot taller.

S: But, like the minibots are maybe around 10?

O: Yeah.

S: 10, 12?

O: Like that I could see, maybe being underwater..

S: But…

O: But Optimus!?!

S: Well, the thing is it does depend on how deep it is cuz if it's like a hundred foot reservoir or something…

O: That's true, but, but this is a river and those usually aren’t quite that deep.

S: Yeah.  Thankfully, Bumblebee followed them and picks up Spike, who apparently went with the Autobots?

O: Yeah, he went with the Autobots but Bumblebee was supposed to have stayed behind.  Uh, Megatron wants the dead bodies of his enemies brought to him right this very moment thankyouverymuch.

S: [sighs] God, he really loves his trophies.

O: He does.

S: Bumblebee returns to base with Spike to warn Wheeljack and Ratchet.

O: Wheeljack unveils a brain upgrade that he's been working on for the Dinobots.

S: Seriously Wheeljack, you couldn't have done that earlier.  You could have done that before they woke up and trashed everything?  Maybe your babies wouldn't be in the closet right now!  The Dinobots deserve better.

O: They do. Wheeljack and Ratchet reactivate the Dinobots against the orders of Optimus Prime, in which we get...Grimlock, Grimsy, my dumb, dino baby--you can talk now!

S: And meanwhile Megatron's get the other Autobots, well...basically on the ropes.

[laughter]

S: Cuz they're all chained up.

O: Megs, honey, I'm gonna kink shame you for a second here.

S: I mean honestly, they’re not even chained securely.  It's just like sort of draped artistically on them.

O: YEAH, still kink shaming Megatron here though!

S: And that is totally death by freaking firing squad like--

O: Which just seems a little dark for this cartoon.

S: I mean they were already--like, the last episode that we did, Starscream basically had them chained up against the wall and was like, “I'm gonna shoot you all,” so…

O: I’m starting to see a pattern here...clearly they’re into bondage!

[laughter]

O: YUP!  Still kink shaming!

S: God, but no, yeah, they totally do death by firing squad multiple times, but..

O: Which still seems dark!

S: Yeah, no one's getting any last requests here.

O: So, uh, Wheeljack and the Dinobots arrive by flying.

S: They-re--the Dinobots are some of the few Autobots that can actually fly.  It's like if they can fly why can't you make yourself fly Wheeljack?

O:  But he is flying!  [laughs]

S: Yes, but the rest of the time he can't, this is--it’s dumb.  The Dinobots are still pretty dumb but--

O: They’re better!  They’re better than they were!

S: Yes, they can talk now.  They're...they're good kids.  Starscream continues to be incredibly petty.

O: [questionable Starscream impression] “You're supposed to know everything, what are those!?!”

B: “Scrap metal!” [laughter]

O: So Megatron gives not a single solitary shit.  Meanwhile, Sludge can swim fine, in dino mode, apparently.

S: He is the brontosaurus, maybe? I think he's the brontosaurus.  Pretty sure he’s the brontosaurus, but yeah, that's sort of...it's not aquatic but apparently it's--

O: Aquatic enough?

S: He's heavy enough that he can handle himself in the water, I guess.

O: Anyway, Wheeljack just beans Megatron in the chest with a shot from his gun.

S: And Megatron just, fucking, falls down and guess what Starscream does?

O: [questionable Starscream impression] “Megatron has fallen!  I, Starscream, am now your leader, Decepticons follow me!”

S: And the Decepticons try to attack the Dinobots, uh, failing utterly, miserably.

O: My favorite part is when Grim catches Skywarp in his dino mode’s mouth and then just tosses him in Soundwave.  Sooo...meanwhile, Megatron alts into his gun and magnetizes to the bottom of Starscream's jet mode and just starts shooting?

S: Apparently, that’s what he wants to do right now?

O: [laughing] Right?

S: And Wheeljack gets himself some more guns. Obviously, more guns solve everything.

O: Yeah, yeah, I think, I think he, like, got everybody else's guns that were tied up or something?

S: They were all--the Decepticons just dumped them in a pile.  And then he works his voodoo tech magic...to somehow get all of the Autobots out of their restraints--cuz like apparently, one of the guns has some sort of microwave feature--

O: [laughs]

S: --and then another--like Bluestreaks’s, like, charges people up, somehow???  I don’t know.

O: All I know that it somehow got all the bots out of the restraints, dried off, and recharged in two shots.

S: Yes.  It was weird.

O: So Megatron orders a retreat.

S: The Decepticons are ‘blasting off again!’

O: Ooh la la Team Rocket.

S: And...yup.  And Optimus deigns to allow the Dinobots to stay.

O: And yet they still live in a closet.

S: We're really not forgiving you Optimus, even if you are dad shaped.

O: [laughs] And that's where today's episode cuts.  Uh, join us next time for ‘Fire on the Mountain’!  Where the Autobots remember that Skyfire exists and our favorite alien robots take a trip down to South America.  I also remain convinced that Megatron's got a thing for big, shiny-ass crystals.

S: He does.  I mean considering there's at least three freaking episodes with shiny-ass crystals, and I'm pretty sure that the Transcontinental--Trans-europe Express one also involves a big shiny crystal.

O: That would not shock me.

S: But specifically it's Wheeljack who remembers Skyfire.

O: I'm convinced Wheeljack just didn't know and then they mentioned it in passing and he was like, “Oh!  I can get him out of there!”  [laughs]  Anyway, Specs what are our fanfics for today?

S: Alright, we have a--well, we have four selections today. The first is, “The Field,” by Retrolex.  It's actually kind of an older piece of fanfiction that they rewrote and reposted.  It’s a G1 cartoon continually, rated T for teens.  Uh, it's gen, there's no pairings and the main characters here are Ratchet and Cliffjumper.  Ratchet’s not going to have a fun time.

O: When does he ever have a fun time?

S: I don't think ever, yeah, yeah.  So, in summary, “Ratchet’s job is never easy, sometimes the other Autobots don't make it any easier for him,” and I just wanted something with Ratchet here.

O: That seems fair.

S: Yeah, and it's a one shot, uh, the rewritten version I think is slightly--is somewhat shorter than the original.  I will probably add the link to the original version. Our next choice is, “Just a LIttle Tipsy,” by Alienpixels. G1 cartoon, rated K, Gen, no pairings. Characters here are, Ratchet, Wheeljack, Optimus Prime, and Prowl and in summary, “It's how the hell did Wheelack come up with the idea for the Dinobots anyway?” and then I just wanted something with ID--Dinobot ideation, because the Dinobots are a really big part of this episode.  

O: [chuckles]

S: They're the entire focus and I wanted to focus on them and it's--it's a one shot and our next choice is, uh, “Vigil,” by Nightwind.  Uh, it’s a G1 cartoon continuity, rated K, it's gen, and no pairings.  Characters include the Dinobots and Optimus Prime.  Uh, in summary, ”One of the Dinobots falls deathly ill and the universe collapses.  No, no I'm kidding.  Actually, only Optimus Prime collapses and only into a cushy puddle of guilt.” Vigil is the first in a series and Nightwind originally wrote this, like back in 1990 and first posted it around 2000, then reposted it, I think, in 2010, maybe?  This is pretty old, but this is sort of the start of the Swoop as a medic headcanons.  Which is apparently pretty popular still.

O: I like it, it's really cute in a lot of the fanfic that I've seen it in.

S: Yeah, and so our last choice today is, “Dinos and Fireworks,” by mmouse15.  G1 cartoon, rated K, it's gen and there aren't any pairings.  Uh, the characters are Wheeljack, the Dinobots, Ratchet, and Sideswipe.  In summary, “ The Dinobots are young and have never seen fireworks,” and again it's Dinobot centric and it's a one shot and it's really cute. Cuz--

O: It  sounds really cute!  I haven’t read this one yet--I'm gonna have to!

S: It is. It's basically the Ratchet and Wheeljack have difficulties getting the Dinobots to go to--into recharge like, most of the time and then Sideswipe is like, “Hey!”

O: “I have mini explosions!” [laughs]

S: Pretty much!  And then the Dinobots, like after the explosion--oh god, the firework display the Dinobots are like, “Oh let's go to bed now,” more or less.  And it's just--it's cute, it’s very cute.  And, “The Field,” is very funny, it's a comedy, but the rest of these..they're good. And that just about wraps it up for us today.  

S: Remember to check out our Tumblr at afterspark-podcast.tumblr.com, for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned you can also find us on Facebook and Twitter @AftersparkPod (all one word) and Soundcloud and Youtube at Afterspark Podcast with the space between afterspark and podcast you can also find us on PillowFort as Afterspark-Podcast and on AO3 by searching for Afterspark Podcast.  Till next time, I'm Specs!

O: And I'm Owls!

S: Toodles!

[Outro music]

#transcript #afterspark podcast #g1 episode 8

[lovepoemsforjaehyun]

B1A4 2017 Live Space: 4 Nights in the U.S. - San Francisco, CA

<Live Space 2017> 19 February at the Warfield

Start time: 8:05pm End time: 10:03pm Hi-touch: 10:20-30pm

NOTE: This was written the night of the concert, so all of the moments here and what I remembered from that very night. I didn’t have time to post it up until now. Also, no photos because @strongchanpion has already posted the ones I’ve took.

== Pre-show ==

The really, really crazy thing @strongchanpion  and I had ever done was to wait six hours for a concert!! The weather wasn't too well because it was windy and sprinkling/continuously rains. Besides, there so many sirens that  went on that annoyed the daylight out of me. One thing that was cute was the fact that a police car strolled around and asked a question. Then later they came back and put 'What is Going On?' through their intercom. So cool! (Go ahead and check out @strongchanpion‘s fan account!)

During the wait, I have done most of the talking. It was so easy to keep things occupied but later I have gotten tired. The Warfield employees made things complicated because they did not announce about splitting the line in two: the VIP and the G.A. purchasers. It happened like this: I saw people running and I was confused and ran too. I knew it was something involved with VIP because I heard people saying it.

6:54pm was the estimated time that I have gotten in. I went by quick through security because I had nothing to be checked. I almost walked pass a lady by the doorway that was supposed to check my ticket (because I was too excited to get a good seat). Once I came into the Warfield theater, the pit was already full. (B1A4′s Only One was playing!) I walked out from the pit and walked to the GA standing because it was empty! I had to take my chance and did! FRONT ROW SEATS! YES!!  

@strongchanpion​ and I talked about how excited we were for this. We were both ready for the concert! (A quick observation I’ve made during the pre-show was I saw someone looking behind the curtain on stage left. I think it is even staff or B1A4 looking at the crowd! OMG!) Around 7:45pm, the crew volume the B1A4's music louder in the theater. A few songs such as Good Night Baby (I think that is the song), O.K, What is Going On? that played for BANAs to sing along. They did and they were so GOOD! After that, the lights dimmed down at 8:05pm. It was SHOWTIME! And I was so super excited!

== CONCERT ==

8:10pm was when B1A4 came out. They exited stage-left and waved to greet us. The entire theater echoed with cheers! I was in shock because B1A4 were real (and they are)! (My reactions:) I saw Jin Young and said, "No way!" Then my eyes went to San Deul and thought, "San Deul??" I then saw Gong Chan and said, "Oh god, Gong Chan is real!" To Baro, "What? Baro?" And CNU, "It's really CNU!' Overall reaction: "B1A4 is really on stage!!!!" <3

Their first opening song was Melancholy. (I am shocked about this because I thought it was O.K or Lonely was going to be the opening.) They are all so freaking cute!!!  

In the Air, Oh my Go, 악몽 (Nightmare), You, and네에게 한번더 반하는 순간 (The Moment I Fall For You Again) – To sing along with B1A4, I looked at how B1A4 sang and copy the words coming from their mouth to go with the melody. And if I don’t know the lyrics, I will hum the tune.

Sweet Girl – A song that’s never my favorite (but I learned how to like this song), so I rested my voice well during this song.

When the lights fade to black-out, I saw CNU in the center downstage and pulled a long white string out. I knew right away that the upcoming song was Lonely. Just as the beat came on, I heard Lonely and screamed so much!! They are so synced and well-rehearsal! Perfect as they are!! After, they sang 거짓말이야 (A Lie)! My heart died and I screamed even more because this was what I’ve been waiting for! To see them perform this! The chorus and the bridge got me the most (and it always does)!! (Clearly remembered Gong Chan handsomely walking forward to the center. Left hands holding onto the microphone and right hand in his pockets.) One thing I clearly remember was B1A4 was dancing in a dark-ish blue stage (lighting) and once the chorus, the lights changed to red/orange look. From that point on, the lighting started to brightened up a bit more. I loved the song choice between Lonely and A Lie. Good transition!!

꿈에 – The song that B1A4 sat down for a slow song! One thing I remembered from this performance was the members were going to sit. Baro said, "OK, let's sit." And then he clarified and said, "No, no, you guys don't. Only members." 

If (너만 있으면) – This was the HIGHLIGHT of the concert for me! I’ve been telling @strongchanpion about if B1A4 performed this song, I will be in tears and cheers! And I did! (Expect for the tears, LOL!) Hearing B1A4 performed this song live in videos from their concerts and live sessions were amazing but not as much as this one (even if it is not live music played)! I loved when Jinyoung and San Deul vocalized together, having a mini duet during Baro’s rap. The best part on Earth for this song! And especially when Gong Chan is being a cutie that was in between them and pointed back and forth to show that the two got those notes!!! One of the most anticipated song I have longed for! And one of the reasons why I wanted to go since they announced this concert back in December!

The Time Machine –I knew they were going to perform O.K when Baro told us, "We're going back in time when we were young. To our debut days." About eight/nine songs were mixed together into a medley. It was awesome. (Though I couldn’t really remember what had happened!)

 몇번을 (How Many Times) – Oh yes! I was glad that they have performed this because I like how CNU did an amazing job pitching that second verse! *Cheers!*

내가 널 찾을게 (I’ll Find You) – Another good one (again)! I fell in love with this song when I heard it passing by in my iPod, while reading and studying. Once I heard I live, it was mind-blowing! Jinyoung’s pitch was phenomenal! He sounded so much better in live because I saw his gestures and emotions poured. (And he sat in the middle, which was a perfect view from where I stood which was the middle of the G.A. standing.) I was touched.

Drunk on You & Sparkling – From this day on, both songs reminds me of Baro. The excited squirrel! <3 And like what @strongchanpion said, Sparkling was when the shower began. What’s funny was when Baro asked about showering. I rhetorically answered, “Yes, I do need a shower.” (At that time, I was sweating in my sweater.) I didn’t know that B1A4 will literally give us a shower but once it started, there was no stopping.

Good Timing - Water bottle splashes and confetti flew everywhere. The song was repeated over 4x. A beautiful way to end this! (Jinyoung couldn't get over the fact that the concert was ending so he stood on stage so long even if the towels were long gone. He continuously waved by and then did a ten second pose for the audience. This leader is too cute!) The part that the members kept on throwing water to the audience was great! It was hyped and refreshing. I loved how strong Baro and Sandeul was. Every time they were to swing the water bottle to the center, the water reached to the GA standing! Amazing talents that have! LOL!! (Baro was really cute every time he brought a crate of water bottle to the stage for the members. Really well-prepared! :D)

Since the concert was based off from their 3rd album, Good Timing, this album has made a beautiful memory with these fellas! I am glad that the songs I liked are performed: O.K, Lonely, A Lie, If, How Many Times, Yesterday, I'll Find You, Good Timing, and What is Going On?, and Solo Day. Worth it!! They are such great performers and interactive beings! I love the fact that they threw water (from water bottle) and threw towels. So freaking cool and fun! Amazing people. I always wanted to see them live because I always see them through videos. They have done beautifully (tonight).

 == Members ==

Specifically talking about the members, Baro - I must talk about this guy first because he is just everything in this concert. I love the way how he communicates with us and his word choices are really simple and clear! I love when he told Jinyoung to stop playing with Sandeul. He said, "Hey, stop playing around." So cute, like a teacher. LOL. Also, when he threw the towel and it came all the way towards us and some ladies were fighting over it, Baro said, "No fighting." Geez, this guy is too cool and funny!! If I had a day to hang out with Baro, I definitely will! He seems pretty awesome to hang with!

Gong Chan is really handsome in reality. I couldn’t stop looking at him during the concert. At first sight coming on stage, I was shocked because he is really matured looking – much better in live!!

Jinyoung is a cutie pie. He really likes to have fun and is mischief. I like how he did all sorts of things that are amazingly adorable. It was really cute when he said, "SF BANAs, you are the best!" And he did a  thumbs up. A really cute leader! (If I remember correctly, he did the Sprout Dance.)

CNU is so tall and handsome, just like Gong Chan. Yet at the same time, CNU is really interesting. His dance moves and body waves on stage. However, I was so glad to see him did so well for A Lie. And I love his vocals for How Many Times and really glad to hear that live!!!

San Deul, this kid is adorable. This kid really is!! (: I love his live performance and pitch! They are so perfect and well done! So proud! I was so glad to witness his Jo Jang Hyuk smile and singing gestures. Loved it really much. Especially when he sang, "Stay the way you are." Masterful. 

== Hi-touch ==

It happens so quick. We went to the pit but then got lined up. Everyone cheered so loud when they came. Gong Chan and CNU high-five fans from the pit and the far GA standing. When they lined up, I was scared. The line was moving so quick. It happened all too fast.

Gong Chan was first. I thought to myself, “Why does Gong Chan have to be first?” He was intimidating. He was the first person I remember but I had forgotten what to say, even to all of the members. Once I came, I interlocked fingers with him and we made eye contact. I then moved on to Baro. That guy looks extremely friendly! (He really looks like a squirrel too!) We made eye contact and interlocked fingers. Sandeul was the third person. I slightly only remember giving small interlock fingers with him. I couldn’t remember how Sandeul looked like except for smiling (I think he stood where there were no lights.) Moving on to CNU, by this time, I stop to interlock and slap his hands. (I might’ve done that to Sandeul too.) Then Jin Young and his booming music. (I think I got disturbed by Jinyoung's music. Erg...that leader. LOL.) The entire time, I only said, "Thank you.” It was a flash. I knew I could have slowed down but it was better than nothing.

They are all really cute kids and handsome ones. They are so enthusiastic about everything too! The stage and all - they killed it and it was a total live tonight. Love this experience! The fans are the best element in this concert too!!

Also, applaud to their production staffs! The lighting was amazing! Every time B1A4 wanted us to sing, the stage lights will shine toward us. Naturally, as audiences, we know that the light means that we are also included into this show and it’s just not about those on stage. It was a really cool way to tell us that it was time for interaction. (Breaking that fourth wall!)

Overall, a beautiful night. Loud cheers from left to right, top to bottom. Bright lights that made my heart shine because we can see each other clearly. Songs were even better in live than the audio. B1A4 and BANAs made it happen together! One of the BEST moment in 2017!!

#B1A4 #Concert #Live Space 2017 #4 Nights in the US #SF #San Francisco #Fan Account #Experiences #2017 #Make Every Moment Count #Thankful

[getseriouser]

20 THOUGHTS: COX GETS OFF (HOW COULD WE NOT?)

A second week now into the season and what have we learnt, what can we frank from our Round One observations and what did we go too early on 

Well, the Bombers had a better second half but geez the week on the track did nothing between games, the Dogs are definitely finding a new gear in 2019 and yep, the rules have done very little.

But it’s still too early for final judgements, last year, the Suns started 2-0 and were third after two rounds, the Pies were 0-2 and third last.

That said, after Round Three last year Port were unbeaten and top, so don’t expect to be naming premiers next week either…

 1.       Let’s start with the girls. Over 53,000 in Adelaide to a yes, one-sided Grand Final, but the blokes have those too, um, 2007, or 2015, take your pick. But yes, great celebration, great spectacle, big fan of the AFLW going up and up – but the naysayers going with the “oh, only reason the crowd was so big was because of free entry”. Firstly, Adelaide played in Sydney on Friday night and has more paid-up members than that ground has seats, pretty sure even if it did come out of their hip pocket there would have been plenty of paying guests if need be, and secondly, what a shonky argument, it’s like saying road users only drive on the West Gate Freeway because its not a toll road. Please be serious..

2.       Don’t let yourself get sucked into pro-Steve Hocking nonsense, “oh the new rules have been epic!” No. Scoring is down from 90 to 80 on average per team to Round 2 compared to last year and scoring shots are down 9%. So we’re getting less offense and his rules do nothing to stop congestion other than after a goal’s kicked and the ball is back in the middle, which is happening less. Tell you something for free – those conversations of crisis we had two months into last season, they’ll come back soon enough. But here’s the thing – the game’s fine, leave it. Anyway.

3.       Dogs-Hawks was interesting, credit to the Dogs, had allllllll of the ball in the second term but didn’t put the Hawks away, kept them in it. Was 23-4 the Bullies’ way for inside 50s in that quarter but they only put on two goals to one.

4.       But yes, from a poos and wees perspective, they did go two down on the bench, have two horrendous frees in the last one of which gave Schache and absolute freebie and the Dogs snuck home. If you’re Hawthorn you’re stiff but if you’re Footscray this should have been in the bag prior to a crazy last term comeback.

5.       And we’ll say this again - Libba is a top 10 midfielder in the game who’ll never be seen as one. Not classy or flashy, but gee blokes like him find themselves in winning sides more often than not. A buy.

6.       Swans again, not enough soldiers through the guts, Kennedy 36 touches, Parker 26, yes Jake Lloyd got 34 but otherwise what, Harry Cunningham, Oli Florent, really? With no midfield that team will struggle to score all year. A lean year for a bounce back soon enough we think.

7.       Brissy beat a very rusty West Coast (proven with how they performed this week) and then a dodgy North, hold fire, they’re not the three-peat Lions reincarnated, but good signs.

8.       Yep – the Langford Guelfi thing is a bizarre as you’ll see. Now the Dons did play better in the second half, playing like that they’ll be much better, but there’s six quarters of utter filth in their 2019 already they can’t just ignore. Any non-competiveness this Friday night at all and its call in the tarp and shotgun on their season.

9.       Dees got ahead of themselves? Two really ugly weeks where they thought it might just happen? Need to do the work fellas. Christian Petracca should be either Jordan De Goey or Clayton Oliver by now.

10.   Tigs, Rance wasn’t the difference, goes to show how important a raging Martin and Cotchin are. Dion Prestia looks a million bucks when Dusty polls 3 votes, but if he is held like Pig Greenwood did to him last Thursday, do we know for absolute sure Prestia was even at the ground?

11.   Oh the Pies paid a heap for Dayne Beams… not really, had they not traded for him, and taken their own picks to the draft, due to the complex draft points system they would have gotten their Academy kid Quaynor and Father-Son Kelly anyway, so from a draft haul perspective the selections would have been the same either way, just the picks used were different. All in all its just one first rounder next year, now that’s value.

12.   Two rounds in, yes the Crows are loving that they have the Blues first rounder, so right now the Crows have pick 4., but they swapped picks, so the Blues have theirs and that’s pick 8. This is only a mess for Carlton if Adelaide ends up being any good, work to do still.

13.   I know it was Freo, and I know it was a Sunday timeslot, and I know they’ve had lean years, but barely 10,000 to the home opener for Gold Coast last weekend. Gee, I just can’t see this ever becoming a 20,000+ a game club. Then again, to be fair, weekend before, Giants got 15,000 to their home game against Essendon, so work to do on both fronts.

14.   James Hird to return to Essendon, now Robbo, whats upstairs in your ‘alone time financial institution’ doesn’t need to make to print, he has barely reappeared in public let alone the idea sacking a 0-2 premiership coach to bring back the formerly suspended unproven coach. Please.

15.   Eddie McGuire copping overs for his coin toss comment last weekend. Had nothing to do with her just an unfortunate mistake – but for balance, upon reflection, geez he got unders for his Goodes/King Kong comment a few years ago, go find that audio for a listen, it has not aged well at all Edward.

16.   How does Michael Christian have a report saying Dylan Grimes had concussion symptoms and on Tribunal night the Richmond doc says no medial report he did stated any such thing? That can only go well…

17.   Melbourne will run through a banner this week covered in mean tweets as an act of defiance and resilience to online bullying and the like. Hate to say it, whilst the topic and angle is right, it’s a problem I’m glad the Dees want to combat, but giving air to the content is just what fuels those looking for a reaction – if anything this gives the ‘trolls’ what they want, as opposed to sending a message back, “hey kids, keep it up, you might make a Demons banner!”

18.   Couple non-AFL for a moment, um Ange Postecoglou – soft. Talks in the press this week as to why he ‘had to resign’ from Soccerroos coach in an “I had no option, it was their actions, they leaved me with no choice”. It’s only a view but for mine Peter FitzSimmons really quite harmless comments on Channel Nine got under Ange’s skin and then what, he chose to walk because he might get sacked if he didn’t qualify for the World Cup, which is totally normal behavior from the FFA if so, but at the time he was still amidst qualification and we ended up qualifying. Righto Ange, sorry, you’ve lost me.

19.   And here’s one you won’t like – Ben Simmons is badly overrated. Yes, very talented, one of if not our best basketballers ever, but if you’re a guard in the NBA, I don’t care how magical your passing is and your ability to drive to the post and score in the paint almost at will, if you cannot score 3s you’re not elite. Don’t care if your teammates are amazing from downtown though, that just masks your massive deficiency. It’s like a test batsman who can’t play a cut shot or a tennis player who simply cannot volley, don’t care if you’re an amazing cover drive or down-the-line forehand, if there’s a key part of the game you just can’t do, not even ok at but totally inept – you’re just a pile of mashed potatoes to me, sorry.

20.   And let’s finish with the girls again because Erin Phillips won the AFLW MVP again, and is possibly our best footballer in the country. But if she isn’t, it would probably be Sam Kerr. Going well our girls at the moment, going very well.